#a little humor

[ikemenomegas]

Bloody Monday, Blue Diamond

new underrated polycule, Villain!nanami, you, and getou.

Nanami succumbs to the utterly understandable despair of late-stage capitalism and decides he's tired of working with the people who create it by scamming those on the cusp of retirement to create their own wealth. He snaps etc etc, blood, guts, pollock spatters all around.

He's fully expecting to get caught and initially thinks he doesn't have the arrogance to avoid capture. He did it. He'll have the courtesy to look his old classmates in the eye (...maybe not Ijichi) when whomever comes for him.

Except Suguru gets there first.

The flashbang of Nanami's energy didn't originally read like teenaged Saturday night rave Nanami and plenty of techniques involve novel ways to cleave things, so Suguru thought this was some newly realized sorcerer, thought maybe he could provide some guidance.

At first, Nanami isn't sure whether to simply stay seated on his old boss's favorite leather chair, sprawled perhaps a bit more than was polite, or bare his teeth. He's sure it would make a horrifying visage, covered in gore as he was. Or perhaps he should simply curse Getou out, for old-time's sake.

But Suguru smiles, welcoming and nearly ecstatic. Immediately, Nanami pings that something is more wrong with Suguru than expected, but, well... he looks around at the three bodies separated at the shoulders or shins.

The clarity is beginning to die away with the adrenaline high by the time you peak around the door, clearly looking for Suguru, but brightening almost comically when you catch sight of Nanami, different than he was as your kohai more than five years ago.

"Hells, this place made you old," you scoff, a very open mixture of disgust and pity and curiosity and a totally unfamiliar hunger aimed right at him.

Suguru raised an eyebrow. "That's not very polite."

You gave him an utterly irreverent look back. "Yes, I know."

Nanami found himself torn, whether to laugh. Or perhaps to scream. Both jockeyed as equally viable options given this was increasingly becoming some kind of fever dream.

Suguru held his hand out to help you step, nose wrinkled, over a pool of blood that revealed the lazy lean of the room. Nanami found himself glaring distastefully at one of the managers piled across the cheap carpeting. It seemed representative of the current situation that the people who were supposed to call in repairs now didn't need to worry about being four years late.

He'd half tuned out what you and Suguru were saying to one another, but he was practiced at half-ignoring conversations that did not interest him while still tracking their tragectory.

"I've no interest in coming with you," he said blandly, looking around for something to clean his blade on. It had been with him for a very long time, and he would like it at least to be taken care of.

"Oh please, we're not kidnappers," you replied archly. To which Nanami simply glanced at you in the kind of way that implied he hadn't been considering you bodily dragging him out of this horror show, but now he knew it had been one of the first options you had.

Suguru laughed in a helpless, familiar sort of way that also made Nanami think this was some sort of joke.

"We can't force you-"

That was clearly a lie.

"- but it would be in your best interest not to be here in about... ten more minutes."

Without much of apparent interest at the scene of Nanami's deciding crime, Suguru was clearly attempting to wrap this up.

"I'll stay," Nanami said evenly, his conviction as sturdy and inevitable as when he had first stepped into the office with a weapon in his hands. This was not an event meant to be ignored. Over thirty people slaughtered at a fairly reputable finance firm wasn't something that was going to go over well with the press, Nanami thought grimly. Satisfied.

He felt briefly remorseful for the people he knew in passing who would find themselves tainted in a way by knowing him.

It took him a few moments to realize how far silence had extended around him, between you and he, and how there was a crawling feeling going over his skin. He glanced out the window, but it was as bright and sunny a day as when he had come inside. There was no evidence of the kind of monsoon thunderheads that might pile on the horizon.

There were a quartet of over-large, prickly centipedes and the same of stringy earthworms wrapped around his arms and legs. Even with far worse around him, he found himself slightly put off by the conflicting textures.

"Sorry, Nanami," you were saying, tiptoeing over dotted mirrors of drying black blood to get right in front of him with a determined set to your mouth that still communicated the hell you are, and that you were a bit grossed out as you leaned in to touch him.

"What-" was all he got out before light, sound, and then consciousness cut completely out.

He awoke quite gently laid out on a refuse pile. Or...

Yes, there was something soft in the bag on his left. Opening it despite his better judgement revealed some plain clothes, a bit broader in the shoulder and waist than his own size, but serviceable. And it appeared his exposed skin had largely been cleansed of the rusty freckling he'd worn in the office.

He could still see it, the towering building, 35th floor. He didn't much care to count but high-rises stacked much like the tiny boxes of a spreadsheet, so he felt he made a fairly accurate guess.

The third grade curse had been hiding behind the bag, revealed as he lifted himself from the literal garbage pile and began divesting himself of his sullied suit, as comfortable as if he were in the apartment he'd likely never be able to go back to.

Briefly, he mourned the loss of his books and his plants and his other, nicer, better fitting clothing, all while keeping an eye on the curse.

Which looked rather sullen, if a curse could look sullen, as it watched him too.

When he was dressed, still in his dress shoes as the ones in the bag were a touch too large, the curse gave a dull, breathy sigh and drifted to one end of the alley.

He was clearly meant to follow.

So, he did. It directed him to a boring but tidy hotel where the curse concealed him from the front desk with some minor technique, spiriting him away to the 14th floor before giving a relieved sigh, or perhaps a mournful one as it was rid of him, and drifting through a wall of the room he'd been led to.

There was a black burner phone on the table beneath the television and another, smaller, bag on the chair. He stared at both and then went to kick off his dress shoes, strip off his socks, and fall back against the mattress, as comfortable as most hotel mattresses usually were.

A quick sniff at the collar of his borrowed t-shirt revealed an unfamiliar detergent, and it clicked into place that these must be Suguru's clothes somehow, although he hadn't thought you knocked him out for that long.

He turned his head this way and that and thought he should probably shower. It was a bit gross, his hair sticky with gel and sweat. At least there were two beds in the room. He could lie on the other later too.

He smiled briefly. Hysterical. What luxury.

What horrible, awful people you'd both remained.

He thought that after his shower, he should probably call you, for surely that number was in the new phone on the table under the television. He could give Suguru his shoes back.

And, it came to him with a grim sort of irritation, it wasn't as though he'd planned anywhere else to go.

[aokuro-san]

I can't-

[lizardho]

When I came out, I was SO scared I was gonna get disowned. I wrote a letter to my parents, sent it to their emails, put a physical copy on the counter, and left the house for a few hours to give them time. In that time I tried coffee for the first time, which was a dreadful idea, and got all jittery. I kept waiting for a text or something but nothing happened.

After a few hours, I didn’t hear back from them so I went home. My parents were home and had stacked a bunch of groceries on top of the letter without opening it. They said “hi” and I said “hi” and went down stairs to the basement. I held my dog and panicked about what to do. My sister, who knew that I had written them a letter of great importance, told me they hadn’t read it yet. She also told me she could ask them to do so. I consented to this and stayed in the basement. A few minutes later my dad knocked on the door and poked his soft smooth little nerd head in and said “hey buddy” and I started crying so hard I almost vomited. He came over and gave me a BIG hug and said that it was gonna be OK, he was OK with this, he knew it must have been hard but he was here for me. He told me he and my mom had already talked years before they had me about how if they had to pick between their faith and their child they’d pick their child. It was a very sweet moment. I came out to my mom later that evening and we were both bawling the whole time.

The day after I came out to my parents, I came out to my brother @inbabylontheywept at a Mexican restaurant and he took it like a champ. That evening my mom took me for a walk and looked almost angry - she said she wanted to make sure that I didn’t use being a woman as an excuse to not go to grad school. I told her I wouldn’t and she instantly looked relieved and happier.

My dad, on the other hand, seemed to struggle with it. He kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him I did not. He kept asking me if I wanted to go clothes shopping with him and I did not. He kept asking me if I would let him go to some of my shows, and I had NO idea what he was talking about.

Finally, 6 months after coming out, of awkward misgendering and questions that didn’t make sense from my dad, he excitedly pokes his soft smooth little nerd head into my bedroom again and says “I found a movie about Your People.” My people. I was absolutely bewildered, but he was so excited and I knew he had been trying SO hard so I watched it with him. It was The Birdcage, and it was amazing. It also was revelatory in that I finally realized why my initially-supportive father seemed to be having such a hard time with my pronouns and stuff - he didn’t know what the difference between trans and doing drag was. After the movie he again asked if I would invite him to one of my shows, and I said, “Hey dad, you know how about half the world is women?” And he said “yeah,” and I said “Well, see, I’m on that half now. I’m not doing drag.” And it was like a switch flipped in his brain. He was like “omg that’s so easy? I was so confused about what to call you when?”

Anyway, my parents are charming and my family has been so kind and patient with me, I like sharing the stories of my little wins with them.

[goforth-ladymidnight]

I'm trying to make a moodboard for The Attor for @sjmvillainweek (very belatedly, I know), and thought I would include some words or word art in there to ✨spice it up✨.

I first came across this phrase in the book "Treasure at the Heart of the Tanglewood" by Meredith Ann Pierce:

"a smoky attar as of sorcery"

Beautiful, right? It's so evocative. Now, I'm not saying SJM ever read this book (it came out in 2001), but if she did, it might be where she got her inspiration for THE ATTOR. However. If she misunderstood the definition like *I* misunderstood the definition, then... well... See for yourself.

ATTAR Noun: An essential oil extracted from flowers

The characters in the ACOTAR universe are calling this creature THE SMELL. 😂

I mean, they're not wrong, but still.

It kind of puts a damper on all the creepy gargoyle imagery I've been imagining. 😅

[waxworm]

^ what a bluegill might say moments before biting onto my baited hook

[jaderavenarts]

This was one of the moments pre-confirmation that made me go OH this man is on the ace spectrum huh lol

[umblrspectrum]

3 years of this godforsaken show

[grickle14]

Just a wee bit. 

[candicornart]

MLP infection au but they just turn into real horses lmao

Panel 2: It's spreading so fast!

Panel 3: Applebloom!

Panel 4: No...

Panel 5: Noooo!

[mourningcape]

[warandpeas]

The True Story: Red Riding Hood

[boy-wonder-oncologist-fan]

Everyone in this site talking about their favourite characters

[spacerockband]

Legend tells of the carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate at the crest of a river and became a stand up comedian.

[lieutenant-catboy-little]

yay!!

[cautious-soup]

Things I think aliens would find cute/endearing about humans: Part 2

*pat pat*

Uuvadas | Log ○■ɛ: more odd human behavior

I have observed a gesture that seems to be shared among the humans aboard this vessel.

I first noticed the gesture while assisting with offloading supplies. I watched my human crewmate heave a crate of lightfuel (they posses decent strength despite their short stature and generally fragile bodies) and set it down. After this was completed, the human tapped the top of the crate with an open palm twice. I thought the human was attempting to draw my or another crewmate's attention, but that was not so.

I again observed this phenomenon when another human crewmate approached large, stacked bags of mol-powder in the store-room, and struck the top bag twice before grabbing what they needed and leaving the room. This seemed to be more of an impulsive behavior. I tried it myself, and now have a habit of striking the bags whenever I enter the store-room.

Humans also seem to use this gesture when indicating something, I often see it amid conversation, where they again tap their open palms or fingers against their communication tablets while saying "Yes, I received the message," or something of the like.

Alas, I am delighted to report that humans also practice this gesture on each other. I saw one human crewmate gently tap another twice on its back, and the human who received the tap began to glow. It was very interesting.

Surprisingly enough, the humans have also taken to demonstrating this gesture on me. If they are high up enough, they will tap their palms on my head. They seem to take immense joy in this specifically. Mostly, however, I myself am tapped on my appendages.

Human behavior fascinates and delights me endlessly.

End of log.

Part 1:

Part 3:

[lonelyzarquon]

Kathryn Hahn as Clare Tiny Beautiful Things (2023) | 1.01 Pilot