#a little complicated but mostly good
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haven't figured out how to get it in a fic (yet??) but I've got a scene in my head of Tim & his mom that goes something like
she cups his face, says, "baby don't you ever get tired of all that violence and killing?"
and he responds, quiet, resigned with, "it's the only thing I know how to do" or "I think it might be the only thing I'm good at"
anyway. something something like that
#i hc tims mom as alive#and they have a pretty decent relationship#a little complicated but mostly good#i also hc that her nickname for him as a kid was angelboy#i have reasons for it tho#but mainly i hc she uses a couple different terms of endearment#*shrugs*#tim deserves soft affection ok#anyway#tim gutterson#gutterson family#gutterson family headcanons#tim gutterson hc#idk my own tags#justified
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Okay! I don't know where you got the idea from and my best guess is that your brain is connected to mine via bluetooth but.
Me and Hoddie have a royal au and your animation made me think of it again.
Nothing crazy special, but...ah...I should probably give a little context yeah...hmm.
Uh, okay. There's a kingdom. whose king and queen have died, leaving behind several possible heirs who are not their direct children. Right now, the king's first general is sitting on the throne, because the power of the army is, you know, a pretty powerful argument in a fight for the throne, right? This creepy regent is Cass. And Cass came to power thanks to Hoddie, who's basically the king's heir too, but she's pretty distant and her chances of the throne are quite slim. This has made her a professional rat and back stabber. The whole palace is busy weaving intrigue and destroying each other in a competition for power. Contests in cunning and sneakiness. A maximally intellectually uncomfortable environment in general.
Until Hoddie finds the true heiress. The king's blood daughter, to whom the throne should rightfully belong.
Problem? The problem is that the heiress needs to be two years older to be old enough to rule. And Hoddie and Cass' goal is to make sure she lives to that age in an environment where every other person wants to frame or kill her.
That heiress is you, Tap. But we couldn't think of what you'd look like in this au ahaha.
MHHMMM I SEE ONCE IN A WHILE BRAIN BLUETOOTH IS A GOOD THING you left me a window for my part and I grabbed this opportunity with sharp teeth Since there was no mention of my part, I have the audacity to add my own version. Did I understand correctly that my existence as an heiress was not known? It would be strange if the king was not looking for me, if I was the only heir (by blood), which means they were hoping for a new child, or already had plans for an indirect heir, or wanted to hide me. What other power is there, besides the king and the army, that holds the common people? Church. The king could have sent me to be trained as a priestess in order to gain support from them (either I was not considered worthy of receiving the throne in the future, which is why they preferred to hide me, or the king so badly needed their support that he was ready to sacrifice his only blood daughter) . Thus, from a young age, the beauty of a non-existent world somewhere beyond the heavens was drummed into my head and, in general, “God speaks all our actions.” I have an inconspicuous appearance, a position above a simple servant, but such priests are usually considered to be the daughters of high nobles, but not the king himself, which is why not everyone could know who I really was. Thus, they forgot about my existence ~ After the death of the king and all the heirs, the church quickly realized what to do next, and crushed me to itself, hiding me from the world until I reached the age of succession to the throne. (But children could take the throne under a regent. Could Hoodi become my regent as one of the older contenders for the throne?) So, back to the turmoil. Hoodie found me at church. Since childhood, my worldview could have changed greatly under the influence of the church, so, well, you will have to hammer a lot into my head, in addition to the throne’s education (You know... it's bit complicated to make a human sona not as a stupid little ball XDD... it literally can't get a shape at this point... maybe you will place a real bunny as the new king? It will be eating cabbage 24/7 and everyone will be happy)
#You know~ I'm sure you know that church isn't a very good place~#commoner servants or lowly noble servants do not dare to say a word against the nobles. (The laws are no better than in the kingdom itself)#Tapa saw some horrors in here~#I tried to make a look closer to the rabbit#but I guess it will be mostly about the way I behave#And sometimes the most beloved kind of hairstyle - rabbit looking one#But it's a bit complicated to get used to all these after strict rules of the church#Tapa#Cass#Hoddi#royal au#my little happiness
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kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.
and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.
and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?
hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.
it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh
#genuinely begging for discussion on this bc im too tired to think about it anymore but i think it's cool#yyh#yu yu hakusho#also apologies if any of the atsuko stuff's iffy im anime-only </3 i skimmed the wiki but. it's the wiki so grain of salt#atsuko urameshi#shizuru kuwabara#shiori minamino#keiko yukimura#genkai#yyh meta#<- i never tag stuff w that but i probably should..#this is making me a little emo about all of them but on the side more quietly kurama bc like. bro he loves his mom so much and he can't tel#her ANYTHING. houghhh she will never ever know him she will live and die within his lifetime and not know any of the big beautiful terrible#life of his that she's missed. god that fucking sucks dude wait#anyway something that's only grown in importance to me is how prickly the relationships in yyh can be. like damn they do love each other#and it's even mostly a good thing. but sometimes that means you're shitty to each other. sometimes you're not great at it yk#and the characters therein are complicated and flawed without feeling like it's a huge focus. like plenty of media go here's these fucked u#guys look at how they scuttle and that's cool fr but with yyh it feels so subtle and gentle and real. it's so personal and human and i love#it. even when it means hiei doesn't reunite with the gang at the end or when genkai never tells yusuke what he means to her#y'know? that stuff used to hurt me and now it hurts me in a good touching 'god i love people' kinda way. yeah
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I love elysia but I also hate elysia but I love elysia but I also hate elysia but I love elysia but I also hate elysia but I love elysia but I also hate elysia but I
#little something ⌞🐚🐁⌝#i feel very complicated about her ok lol#I like her character and her designs don’t get me wrong#but when I say that I mean I like her pre-elysium realm#because I feel like post-elysium realm she kinda flanderized…?#mostly thanks to the writing#it doesn’t help that her herrscher design while still being a good design and matching with her character#in hindsight is a bit of a harbinger for the amount of pastel designs that would come after her#tldr I like elysia but I also think she’s was kinda screwed over by the game#Elysia#honkai elysia#elysia honkai#miss pink elf#Honkai impact#honkai impact spoilers#kinda
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y do you hate on malev sm if ur a fan of it? like not criticizing its flaws but every time i see a malev fan callin it bad its u . thats no shade /gen im just curious y u engage w somethin u dont like
I mean, there is a lot I do like about it, especially in the first three seasons. I don't think that having problems w something means you can't enjoy things about it 🤷 there's tons of cool fan art and fanfic and I enjoy that plenty, and I don't think I shouldn't engage with it just bc I have problems with some parts of canon
like, I will exaggerate my feelings about it for comedic effect. you don't see my genuine criticisms on here because I honestly don't have the energy for the arguments that can bring. if I'm doing meta it's for the aspects of something I enjoy.
and I reeaaally don't think I'm the only one doing that either lol like, I have plenty of moots who put similar tags to me on posts. maybe it's bc I just come from a fandom history where bitching about the show doesn't mean you hate all of it, like that's a time honored tradition in the spn fandom lol
#like I have much more complicated thoughts about the show than I let on here lol#sometimes being a hater is good for the soul a little bit too#but there are a lot of talented artists and writers in the fandom and I enjoy the characters!#and like. I've written positive meta about the show too#there's good stuff in there!#I've honestly mostly pulled away from the fandom imo#and I try to keep the hate to humorous nods lol#anywayyyy hope that helps lol#my asks#my posts#anonymous
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I need to make a collage of some of the tags people leave on my tf2 women posting . People get really funny when faced with image of a woman
#makes me smile….#try not to get too rambly on here but my girl merc designs are really important to me#mostly just on my quest to see more women in art who look like women I’d see irl#but also bc idk. Gender stuff .#genders complicated but I enjoy weird gnc women who could maybe be boys a little bit or maybe be weird girls#Makes Me feel good to see them. And it makes me very happy to see how many other people seem to appreciate those kind of women as well#Etc etc etc . Feeling :)
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the dorm wifi is CENSORING ME
#it refuses to connect with my laptop NOW for no good reason#so I can’t make a little complication of lyrics I love#it would probably be mostly the Weepies#penni yeets her thoughts into the void
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New Scotland Yard: And When You're Wrong (1.13, LWT, 1972)
"You sent for me."
"I sent for you four days ago."
"I didn't get the message till yesterday."
"Right, you can put your diary down. Where have you been?"
"Busy."
"Doing what?"
"You know what I'm doing."
"I know what you're supposed to be doing, nobody seems to know what you're actually doing."
"You'll have my report when it's all wrapped up."
"I'll have it now. Whatever you were playing at before, you're now a witness in a murder case."
#new scotland yard#and when you're wrong#1972#classic tv#alun falconer#bryan izzard#john woodvine#john carlisle#jeremy wilkin#sheila fearn#robert fyfe#frederick treves#keith marsh#leon sinden#tony caunter#yvonne manners#david king#john tatham#a good attempt at a dramatic season finále but it fluffs a couple of key moments and never quite gels together as it should have#Carlisle's sneering‚ increasingly bullyish DI is involved in a high end art theft case‚ tho the degree to which he's involved (and on which#side of the law) is quite cleverly obscured; up until about the halfway mark anyway (one of those fluffed moments i mentioned; it would#have been far more effective to keep us guessing right through). things are complicated by the murder of his informant‚ and then further#complicated by an array of suspects and third parties‚ all just a little larger than life (Treves makes for a wonderfully dithering and#almost edwardian style co conspirator). that's part of the problem‚ that the colourful characters in the case are just a little at odds#with the more serious tone that a potentially corrupt main character should provoke. Woodvine mostly struts around being very annoyed at#proceedings but he is notably sympathetic towards Fearn's (implied) sex worker and even subtly provides some legal advice at the close#with Carlisle busy being partly the subject of investigation‚ his place is taken for this ep by the lovely Wilkin sporting quite a 'tache#oh and it may not come across in text but the quote above quite takes you aback for the sheer lack of respect bordering on relaxed contempt#that Carlisle shows his immediate supervisor (the way he nails that 'You know what I'm doing' with arch disinterest.. the character may be#a shit but give him his dues‚ Carlisle plays it incredibly)
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So I was feeling kinda depressed since my blog kinda dies when I’m focusing on my health and irl life, and character development, writing and art takes a lot of time to create something impressive and coherent.
so since I need notes for my blog to stay alive while I work on stuff i thought I’d make a cool sans au to show everyone on tumblr so I get thousands of notes and really cool fanart and get featured in tiktoks and stuff with my character.
Since this is all it takes to become famous in the undertale fandom I thought I’d just throw away all the research I’m doing and just go with what works yanno?
😳 maybe I’ll draw horny art of him next, that’ll reel in the notes.
#I wonder if you can tell that I made him up in less than five minutes#I’m a creative genius I know#give me an Oscar#This is mostly hj I’m just kinda frustrated by the on going trend of “overly complicated character design with little thought put into it-#Gets more attention than anyone else’s complex well thought out character”#I see so many amazing talented people on tumblr with the coolest characters and the coolest ideas and art that get so much less traction#than people who just like got famous after drawing one character in 2016 and now they have thousands of followers#I know tumblr has no algorithm but I admittedly get kinda sick of the apparent favouritism in the fandom. But maybe that’s just how it is#I guess if you post frequently enough you rule the world.#quality takes time#I wish I didn’t feel like I need to post art multiple times a week despite not having the time todo so#just so people will see my content and I’ll grow as a blog#i’ll never be good enough#no matter what I do#because I can’t draw as frequently and post with the tags people see the most#I try todo tumblr casually but it hurts because people won’t see me and get invested in my ideas because my ideas take time#I can’t get famous without posting I can’t post something that’ll be good enough if I don’t put the effort into it#I don’t know sometimes I feel isolated on here#everyone else has everything figured out.
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1 day i will make a meta of sansa's dynamic with her metaphorical champions/suitors & how that correlates to the ashford theory (i.e sansa being betrothed to joffrey baratheon, then promised to willas tyrell, then being married to tyrion lannister, then being married to harry hardying then married to aegon vi targaryen & aurane velaryon but it is not this day. lmao. when i make that meta it'll be so over for y'all.
#just know that. she never marries after aurane. btw lmao#like if he like g-d forbid ever died before she did she'd like. literally never marry or love again like. thats it lmfao#but anyway like. she has a complicated relationship w/ all of them tbh & reflects on them sometimes.#she obviously hates joffrey for him abusing her but like. she can't help but feel sad for him at times bc like. he was so young.#if he had the right people around him maybe he would've turned out okay eventually. but it didnt happen. she never met willas but sometimes#she wondered what it would've been like to be lady of highgarden but she hopes he's doing alright. her dynamic w/ tyrion is. complicated#like. he was never like openly cruel to her or anything & she's grateful to him for saving her life & standing up for her but like.#there's always that grief surrounding their families & i think she resented & mostly afraid of him at the time but in hindsight she's+#grateful that he never hurt her or forced himself on her. harry she hardly knew unfortunately but like she disliked him at first#but then he actually seemed to warm up to her & she had him tied around her lil finger but she knows that she wouldn't like to be married+#to a guy who actually has children w/ sb else. like. she's seen how that played out & while she wouldn't be mean it makes her uncomfortable#but especially surrounding aegon bc like. she's not naive enough to say she loved him but like. she actually LIKED him#like. while she was wary of him at first she warmed up to him & genuinely respected him as a person & most importantly aegon was her FRIEND#they got along rly well due to their similar upbringings & what they had to do to survive & like. he's actually a decent guy in canon. lmao#he's handsome & was chivalrous & honorable & sweet w/ her but also like batshit insane in a good way. like.#he was the golden prince she always wanted since she was a little girl; the prince that joffrey was supposed to be but never was.#he gave her a future as queen of westeros that was originally HERS. so when daenerys eventually executes him she has mixed feelings about i#aegon was good to her & she'd vowed not to betray him & she actually intended to keep that vow. to her she was forever in his debt+#he gave her a future from her isolation & suffering @ winterfell bc of how much everything changed & he waited for her to love him back.#he actually showed her respect & gave her a solid future when she felt alone & abandoned & led her gently into a world of his own making+#& gave her back her honor & a future. esp when the north was divided between jon rickon & herself. most preferred jon or rickon over her.#without aegon's intervention she probably would've had to marry some northern lord below her station. the winterfell succession crisis wild#but aurane velaryon? that's the love of her life. her bold captain. he taught her how to love & coaxed her in the sun to bloom & freed her.#freed her from the chains of her family obligations. he taught her to break the rules of tradition & follow her heart & trust her instincts#he was there with her in her darkest hour. he quite literally saved her life & defended her honor when no one else had the balls to do that#no one looks @ or touches her the way aurane does she loved him madly truly & deeply he took her girlhood in his stride but when autumn cam#she escaped & had to push him into the deepest recesses of her mind in the name of survival & pragmatism but she never stopped loving him.#& his sweet memory brought too much heartache & bittersweetness for her. she lowkey waited for him for years. & they EVENTUALLY reunited !#he fought & got legitimized for HER. she's. so genuinely happy w/ that man. he's one of her best friends & the father to her children.
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sometimes when im trying to get my gms attention or trying to tell her like 'it comes with cheese' but she isn't listening and I'm feeling like a menace, I'll cycle through telling her in, like, five different languages. typically french grabs her attention the best 💀
#i just know a lot of phrases in multiple languages#im not fluent in that many#completely in english mostly spanish some french a touch of italian and then a good bit of sign language lmfao#i took french in high school and was kind of adopted by mexicans/all of my closest friends speak spanish so thats where that came in#and then my other friends grandma is fluent in german so she taught us some fun phrases like go kill yourself xjckdkfk#and to communicate with my little sister we use sign language sometimes for her (its complicated to explain)#i wish i could be fluent tho in all those thatd be dope as fuck
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Yes my finals are going great! (<- has been obsessing over Solomon a Gaenor for the past 48 hours and has been rendered completely incapacitated by it)
#there are no good gifs of it otherwise i would add it to my cool little tumblr sticker collections#might make a post on my main idk#i don't even know why it's making me this insane like i'm not even sure what there was to be insane about#like it's literally giving romeo and juliet but make it even more depressing which i feel like is not usually my thing#but it was so interesting!!!!!!!! and like very nuanced in talking about religion and complicated relationships to it#this may have been helped by i watched the whole thing in welsh first and understood about 20% of the words on a good stretch#and so was really mostly watching the imaginary movie made up in my head based on images and snippets of dialogue#but also this morning i did a side-by-side with the english version and it was very interesting because it's literally two different takes#and so you can see the actors acting differently and the difference the language change brings out in their dynamic...very interesting stuf#anyways i've now written almost 2000 words of What If Solomon Didn't Die#because i think it would be really interesting to make them work out their life together and how they'd find community and such#idk man they're making me so insane i don't think i've ever been this insane about a cishet couple in media before :')#i need to stop thinking about them. i have like three and a half papers to write#perce rambles
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over the past few days I've switched from watching lots of cleaning videos (which was good because they made me want to clean - though that effect is still there for now) to sewing videos (which is very very bad because now I want to sew more and get a sewing machine that actually works right (I got mine used for like 50€ and it's very basic and a lot of things just keep breaking/not working (which is probably at least in part because I don't know enough about using it correctly)))
#I'm not good at sewing#I don't know what I'm doing at all#but it's sooo much fun (until my stupid sewing machine breaks and I have to spend the rest of the day figuring that out)#I really want to learn how to make clothes and stuff but I won't even try with this sewing machine#now to be clear it's an alright sewing machine and it mostly works fine if you just want to sew a straight line on thin non-stretchy#fabric and never change the yarn.#*thread (I keep mixing those up because they're the same word in German so it's very confusing)#but anything even slightly more complicated or anything with thicker fabric does not work. I've tried so many needles and settings and#solutions I found online#and it just never works consistently#I'm not spending money to get it fixed professionally. no matter how little it would cost it's not worth it#unfortunately I've already found a beginner computer sewing machine and it's expensive (though much less expensive than I would have#thought) and I don't know if I'll be able to get it anytime soon but I really want it 😔😔😔#but ugh the thought of not having to thread the needle anymore and not putting the bobbin in in the front and fixing all the problems that#come with that is sooo nice#oh yeah my machine also refuses to work with thicker/stronger thread. I've figured out that it does work most of the time if it's just the#bobbin thread.#but like. I don't want to spend hours learning how to fix this stupid machine all the time! I want to learn how to use it to sew!#so yeah this isn't going to work long term.#ugh my dad's ex (the most awful person I've ever met) was a trained seamstress. damn I should have made her teach me 😔 then she would've#been good for something at least instead of just giving me a bunch of additional trauma 🙃#(but yay at least it seems like I finally don't associate sewing with her and feel terrified just thinking about it anymore!)#personal
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I'm guilty of a lot of things and sometimes I let life pass me by, but one thing they're never gonna get me for is being apathetic about living. No matter where I'm at or what I'm going through I can attest that I am excited to be alive!!! I love to be alive even when it's hard!!! One day I'm gonna make as many ppl as possible feel that way too because even when life gets awful, wanting to live is awesome!!! Forever and ever babeyyy!!!!!!
#ramblings of a lunatic#life is hard sometimes when i am very tired all the time forever and i have a very fritzy and weak social battery#yet I love wandering around with no purpose and climbing hills on all fours and being with ppl i love#i don't know when or how but im gonna figure something out about all that ^#sorry. finished watching gravity falls and now I'm in a mood ig. good show. wanna watch it again#have thoughts but also my brains a little soupy over the past week#speaking of! pros of past week: I finally have empirical evidence that i can feed myself and do laundry. strides are being made#cons: i have been lowkey taking care of my twenty year old sister a bit. it would be less bad if she acknowledged it as such#but i also understand that's difficult and I don't make it easy. things are complicated. mostly i wish she'd vacuum sometimes#but it's not the end of the world#anyway. was reminded that I'm a human person out of nowhere at 22:31 pm and am now coping(?)
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I miss you guys :(
#i got a little further in the next life but mostly i've been too busy with analogue life to be active here#my last finals are this week and it's looking good for me getting a 4.0 equivalent (1‚0 für die die ahnung haben)#have a bf now whom i've been devoting energy to#& of course have been neck deep in elementary. love those nerds so much#ALSO i'm desperately trying to get together samples for a writing competition but i don't have anything i like#anyway life is complicated i miss dw fandom & i miss my mutuals
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hey! i stumbled across you on ao3 through genshin (i think? that was in september i have no idea at this point), went to check out your profile and saw my hero academia works there. i am currently very much into it, so i was like let's gooo sooo I found B♭ and that has been a wild journey.
firstly, i don't have any experience with american school system, so a lot of worldbuilding was new for me. moreover, marching band is something from another universe(aka music lover but never got educated on the matter), so fic constantly challenged me with new details-concepts-vocabulary. stepping outside of your comfort zone while reading? great idea! i think i never learned so much from a fic while enjoying it so much ^^
secondly, i am simply amazed by sheer amount of effort you put into it. i decided to read in publishing order, so non-chronological really impressed me. you're honestly a mastermind being able to pull that off. also, having a song for every chapter with specifically picked out lyrics relevant to the content is so, so cool! the diversity of your playlists should be astonishing, i'm jealous :)
thirdly, the characters are just so real. i love all the canon references, i love the reactions that don't feel exagerrated or too mild. they are acting...exactly as i would expect them to in that circumstances and setting. i just accepted leads' ways of thinking and reflecting so naturally
i also read the extra notes when they were available and just...how much thought is put in is mezmerising. for some reason i never thought pulling directly from your life experiences when writing? but it actually makes a lot of sense and it brought me some ideas to try out so hehe ;)
as i am very smart and hadn't scrolled down on the order post, i didn't see until quite late in the reading that the end of perfect harmony is published as notes, so that was a surprise. i understand your reasons and the fact that you're not even in the fandom anymore, but you mentioned in some extra notes that it's ok to ask for them even if years passed so...here i am three years after, complimenting B♭ :D
anyway, i finished it a couple of days ago, and even the notes are quite detailed. images of described shenanigans popped into my head just like that, and i really appreciate that you published them and i got to know what happened next!!
i actually wondered why were the comments disabled since i really wanted to comment on a few chapters bc your work deserves it so much...but yeah, that's what led me here so i guess congrats, you get my thoughts all nicely packed in one place ^_^
there's probably a lot of specific pieces, details, ideas i liked about B♭, so that is merely a summary of exciting things i remember!
i'll say goodbye using my favourite oneshot title:
thank you for the music ✩°。⋆⸜(ू。•ω•。)
not gonna lie i'm kind of obsessed w/the way you just glossed over the fact that you (probably) found me through my (anonymous) genshin fics, which means you jumped through the (minimum three) hoops required to get here, my (named) fandom blog, and then proceed to gush abt a bnha series i did. like i would assume that if someone put in the effort to find my other fandom fics from my genshin stuff, then there must've been smth really worth looking into w/the genshin stuff lmao
for the sake of my mutuals' dashboards, since this ask is so long i'm just gonna chuck the whole (long) answer under a cut lol
anyway yes Bb!! the amt of effort n planning i put into that series was legitimately insane. i made school schedules for EVERY SINGLE BNHA CHARACTER and PUT IT ON A SPREADSHEET so that i could PLAN WHO COULD WALK WITH WHOM TO THEIR NEXT CLASSES n have PLOT-RELEVANT CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT. i made little profiles for each of the characters, where i chose their favorite musical key (and why), how many years/instruments they play, and gave them each a funny little quote/catchphrase!!!
what possessed me to do this for ~20 different characters i honestly could not tell you
i definitely loved working on Bb a lot. i remember sitting down three years ago, practically to the day by this point, n hashing out the events of every single chapter to the epilogue, then reorganizing them into a proper timeline (i also kept a calendar in my notes with the chapters in order), all while occasionally looking out my bedroom window n thinking how wonderfully bright n warm n sunny the world was becoming again. bc really, 2019 was a very struggle year for me, n i didn't take the time to appreciate the sunlight then the way i have every year since. from there, i worked off that very strict outline, and most of the note-chapters that were eventually put up are primarily just copy-pasted straight from there.
i remember being on youtube a lot for music recs when working on perfect harmony too!! a bunch of them changed in the years btwn walking away from the series n actually publishing the notes (which were actually published mid-december last year, then backdated to 2020 a few days later ahaha), with a number of the tour arc alternate chapter title songs coming from songs that didn't even exist at the time of the fic's original planning. my mp3 collection grew a lot during the planning phases of Bb lmao.
i'm glad the characters felt so real!!! while no one character was based entirely off one single person i knew irl, one could say that writing Bb was a bit of a love letter to my time in high school band in some places, both the events i partook in n the people i knew there. it was a very "write what you know" type of fic.
anyway haha yeah the end of my bnha days were not fun, but i still loved Bb enough to hold onto the idea of returning to it Soon(tm) that i put off publishing the chapter notes for almost two years. even then, that was a difficult decision for me to make bc a part of me wasn't ready to close that chapter of my life. i think ultimately it was the best decision to make though, since the fics are p heavily tied up in a much sadder part of my life that i'd just rather not return to.
the main reason comments were turned off of Bb (and indeed, the majority of my bnha fics) is most simply described as "resentment". it's different from how i feel abt my old snk fics (where i turned comments off of them so that i could pretend no one's really reading them anymore), which is more impersonal "oh my god i was so young back then and i give fewer than negative shits abt any mistakes i might've made on them or what anyone thinks of them" bc in bnha it's kind of hard to avoid the fact that i had a Name in the circles i typically traversed for a while. it wasn't that big of a name, but it's certainly more than nothing.
it's not really a feeling i like to dwell on, so i just archive-locked the responsible works n turned off comments for the most heinous culprits (mostly sparklers, but even tho i love Bb as a story, i do not love Bb as a publishing experience, if that makes sense), and for the most part, that keeps the resentment contained.
still, i'm genuinely happy that you enjoyed the au so much!!! i honestly love love love how goddamn SPECIFIC the premises are for this fic. the world was truly built with love, and the music puns for every title were always such a joy to come up with c':
thank you for the ask!!!! :D
#asks#kid-of-yesterday#long post#if you really did come here from my genshin fics last SEPTEMBER then boy howdy do i know Exactly which fic you came from#(if it was in september then it Must have been the saucy xv fic abt the sharp teeth bc pure identity didn't come out til oct)#i have a lot of Feelings abt my time in the bnha fandom that i just don't rlly like to talk abt publicly tbh#mostly bc (most of those Feelings are 'resentment' lmao) i try actively to not be a bitter person anymore#but also i hate admitting that people Knew me bc it feels like vanity or bragging#(bc if my name had ever been ''worth anything'' then why did Bb not garner the attention i'd hoped?)#i know that those thoughts aren't true n all but they're overall very complicated feelings#regarding how fandom at large treats fan creations and creators that ultimately led to my current decision to publish anonymously#ofc my feelings towards fandom n the fan-fan creator relationship have shifted w/time again n i do often consider just de-anoning#but it's... Tricky.... to say the least#haha sorry for unloading a little gloomily onto your lovely ask but i also think you deserve my honest thoughts#and not a saccharine falsehood / partial truth (oh hey that's the main thesis of rhythm lol)#ALSO to have an izch fic as your fave is exemplary taste when combined w/krbk#i am handing you a plaque that says 'certified good taste in ships'
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