#a head full of honey

[notasapleasure]

Head Full of Honey (2018)

An adaptation of what was doubtlessly a much beloved (high grossing) German movie...from 2014...almost certainly an unnecessary adaptation. Done by the original director and all. I'm sure this is going to be a very saccharine journey into Alzheimer's and old age but I understand there's a man named Mickey who has a pair of denim dungarees so I'm going to try...though the film is. Very. Trying.

Amid the interminable interminableness at least I'm getting the impression that the random side characters get to have fun.* But also it seems very likely Mickey will have one scene and one scene only in this 130 minute slog...

They didn't even have the gumption to cast James Purefoy as the rakish boss. But ok, an hour in I finally got a good belly laugh from a man nearly getting hit by a firework while taking a piss.

There had BETTER be a charming Italian accent, ok?

This is meant to be funny and it's horrifying.

The Italian accent is going to have to be AMAZING.

1 hour 28 minutes FINALLY

He's singing a little song. He's the prime minister of Sweden and he's gotta take a leak!

I guess you learn to handle all sorts when you work the night shift as a train station janitor...

No Italian accent but he does have his....adorable little American accent again?? Ok.

He left the country because of Trump. And claims he's working on a secret plan to free Melania. But I think it's meant to be endearing, not creepy.

It does kind of work. But only because of Joplin.

New YOIK

He was in stocks....now he's a janitor. Jury's out on whether he means banking or like...public humiliation.

He's a one take kinda guy who likes to pepper his conversation with Italian, bella, besides his 'hair looks kinda great in that shot'. I can't argue with that.

He was in stocks....now he's a janitor. Jury's out on whether he means banking or like...public humiliation.

He's a one take kinda guy who likes to pepper his conversation with Italian, bella, besides his 'hair looks kinda great in that shot'. I can't argue with that.

He has some people smuggling friends (shepherds) who, like everyone else, are dressed like extras in West Side Story. The driver is Indian, so Joplin gets to use a bit of his Indian accent joshing with him. It's cute…..but I want to throttle the director still.

I've decided that's his boyfriend.

"I think it's an awesome thing you're doing, bella."

And I think you should be allowed to stay under the southern European sun like that as long as you want it suits you so well, sir.

---

Rating

Dead? No

Evil? Absolutely not!! Unhinged like every other person in this film though? Entirely.

Affects the plot? He sure does! He helps the fugitives (a ten year old girl and her grandfather who is suffering deeply from memory loss brought on by Alzheimer's) get away from the police and cross the border and it's ok because he also called the girl's parents to tell them she was going to Venice.

God this film is BAD. Painful. Preachy and twee as fuck and deeply dull. Yet Mickey is beautiful. I'd rather have had an Italian or German accent, or just his own London accent. But it was still cute. I'm torn. Because he was very lovely. But seven minutes out of the whole film wasn't much for enduring the rest of it. 2/5 extra half point for the dungarees.

---

*Regarding 'random side characters who get to have fun', that observation was brought on by the weirdly prominent role a German waiter played in a scene. If you want to know just how self-indulgent a project this is, it's indicated by the fact that this was a cameo by the director himself, as an utterly charming and patient waiter who the widowed English grandmother flirts outrageously with.

[chrliekclly]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

[cupiidzbow]

bites my thumb I know I already talked abt nicknames they’d call me but I thought about it again and got sick to my stomach (good way ) 💔💔

[alasarys]

I think Lando would be a good hugger because he has massive hands, look how much of Daniel's lower back it covers

Anon, I am with you on this.

And it's not just how much of him he covers – although he does and it makes me feel things – it's the how he covers him. It's the 'you're okay, I've got you' way he moves his arm to hold Daniel closer. It's the little reposition of his hand, almost-but-not-quite rubbing Daniel's back. It's the reassuring flex and squeeze of his fingers, just starting to curve around Daniel's side.

Lando Norris definitely gives good hugs.

[giggle-bee]

vampires.

[sappho-rose]

~BC Sol Reunion~

[iammissingautumn]

okay but honestly imagine dating taylor swift and she releases So High School like that’s embarrassing i’m all for hating or loving taylor swift or whatever but like. she creates all of Lover. Imagine someone wrote Daylight and then releases So High School. Imagine your partner wrote Paper Rings for an ex and then wrote So High School for you. like that’s embarrassing. i would be embarrassed.

[pararennial-archived]

Okay... here is a plot idea... for people with human muses who don't mind their muse interacting with a supernatural muse *looks pointedly at Roxy*, I would love a thread where Roxy "gives" somebody the Sight.

The Sight is an ability that humans used to have millenia ago before they lost their connection with the supernatural ( aka deliberately severed their ties with that world ). This really plays in the divinity aspect that Roxanne is slowly starting to accept. Albeit, reluctantly but wholeheartedly with the responsibilities that entail it. Think of it as if a god were blessing a mortal with an ability, but it's more that Roxy can help reignite that ability. All humans have it, it's a matter of whether they will be able to handle it, or accept it.

[mightybeaujester]

Please give me your fave home remedies for blocked sinuses

[darkblessed]

what dungeons & dragons class suits your personality?

the cleric.

you’re dedicated, caring, and probably a sucker for happy endings. you spend so much time helping other people that you might forget to take care of yourself. you’re very idealistic and have a strong sense of faith in your beliefs, which may be actual religious beliefs or just your personal moral code. you like to be prepared for a variety of situations and you may have a bit of a protective side.

what subclass?

twilight domain.

the twilit transition from light into darkness often brings calm and even joy, as the day's labors end and the hours of rest begin. the darkness can also bring terrors, but the gods of twilight guard against the horrors of the night. clerics who serve these deities bring comfort to those who seek rest and protect them by venturing into the encroaching darkness to ensure that the dark is a comfort, not a terror. you’re not the type of person to fear the dark or the night. you’re comfortable with a little uncertainty you might find yourself drawn to the mysterious or the unknown. you have a quiet bravery that you may use to help inspire others to overcome their fears. you’re a protective person but you protect not by force or physical strength, but through inspiration and keeping a watchful eye out for potential danger.

[werecreature-addicted]

Rabbit monsters are always portrayed as soft docile creatures. Especially for rabbit reader x wolf monster. I wanna see a rabbit who is just a menace in bed. Pounding into our cunts non stop and making sure that we truly “fuck like rabbits” and breed like them too

mmhmm you get me anon.

you've long since given up on holding yourself upright, and just settled for getting pounded into the mattress your body fully limp. you aren't even holding your own hips up, your bunny lover is holding your ass aloft as he pounds into you cumming inside of you for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. The sheets are wet beneath you with a mix of sweat and cum. you're too spent to even care, you'd fall asleep in this gross puddle if he just let you.

He winds his fingers under your jaw and pulls your head back and up, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. it would be sweet if you didn't know it was a trap.

"you can go one more round for me yeah pretty girl?" he asks, slowly humping your sensitive cunt, How is he still hard? How does he not need a break he just came? you groan and shake your head.

"Please, honey? just one more time I promise you just feel so good, I wanna make sure I fuck this pussy right, get you nice and full with my cum, don't you want me to knock you up?" he asks reaching down to slowly pet your throbbing clit, making you whimper in overstimulation. his thrusts are shallow, his long thick cock scraping along your inner walls making your thighs tremble. his head drops and he scrapes his sharp teeth along your neck. "Please bunny let me make you feel good."

"j-just one more round that's all," you manage to mumble out, the second you've given him permission he shoves your head back down and slams into you, his strong thighs pistoning his big cock into you at a breakneck speed.

"Fuck- thank you baby you feel so good around my cock I couldn't hold back much longer," he groans humping you sloppily, his last load drooling out of your sloppy cunt down your thighs. that's alright, he'll cum enough to replace everything that went to waste.

[misandrygalore]

the fact that taylor lautner mr. jacob black himself is team jeremiah like yeah 💜

[augustinewrites]

“do you not love me anymore?”

satoru’s (self-proclaimed) adorable pout is rendered ineffective when you refuse to look up from your work, typing away on your computer as his world absolutely crumbles.

“are you a worm?” you ask, wholly uninterested in his theatrics.

“no.”

“then of course i still love you.”

“then what the heck is this?!”

sighing, you finally lift your gaze to see your wallet open and laid out in front of you. “that’s what this is about?”

“you took my favourite picture of us out for megumi’s school photo!”

“that was not your favourite picture of us,” you argue. “you keep that in a locked folder on your phone.” 

(it’s your fault that he thinks of that photo now, having to utilise mental skills he’d learned during unnecessarily sexy sparring lessons in high school to will away the beginning of stiffness in his pants) 

“that’s not the point,” he says calmly, tapping a finger over megumi’s glaring face. “the point is that i’m losing top-billing in my girlfriend’s wallet to a snot-nosed brat with a crush.” 

“really? you’re competing with a seven year old?” 

“it’s not competing if i’m losing!”

“it’s puppy love, satoru,” you laugh, closing your wallet before he can see that his card is inside. “i don’t think he’s ever had someone - that wasn’t his sister - fussing over him.”

“no, he definitely has a crush on you,” your boyfriend insist, draping himself over your lap quite dramatically. “can we still disown him if the adoption papers haven’t gone through yet?”

“no one is disowning anyone,” you tell him, gently pushing back his bangs to plant a kiss on his forehead. “you’ll just have to learn to live with the competition.”

_____

you’re halfway through the show you’re watching when the front door swings open and satoru tumbles inside. “honey, i’m home! nanami almost killed me at the gym.”

“hey, there’s lunch in the fridge,” you call, eyes glued to the television. 

satoru, predictably, is unsatisfied with this. he grabs the mug that you’re holding and sets it on the coffee table, wrapping you in a sweaty hug and peppering your face with kisses. 

“let me love you!” he whines, his hair tickling your nose as he nuzzle his face into your neck.

“you can love me after you take a shower, cause you stink.” your tone is stern, but you can’t seem to fight the smile that grows on your face as he hugs you tighter. 

“this is all for your benefit,” he argues, finally releasing you just to pull the hem of his shirt up. you try to smother the heat rising to your face, but satoru notices, a self satisfied smirk on his lips as he pats his abs. “i’m letting nanami kill me at the gym for you.”

“you’re such a slut,” you mutter, wriggling out of his grasp and over to the opposite end of the couch. satoru relents, staying on his end as he recounts his (apparently) near-death experience at the gym.

it’s a few moments later when megumi saunters into the living room.

“megumi! come sit with me!”

the boy’s nose immediately wrinkles. “you stink.”

his full-force pout returns. “i do not!”

“do too.”

“do not—”

“do too,” megumi scoffs, plopping down next to you and resting his head against your arm. 

“so you’re gonna let him snuggle with you but not me? i’m tired and sore and—”

“and sweaty,” you finish. “go take a shower.” 

he glances down at the kid glued to your side, brows raised as he mouths, crush. 

you roll your eyes, thinking it wise to not engage in any banter in front of megumi. 

(but as your attention returns to the tv, what you don’t see is megumi’s own little smirk, directed right at satoru.

like father, like son.)

[sttoru]

.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. toji can’t get his deserved rest due to his baby boy keeping him awake.

wc. 707

tags. dad!toji x female reader. nothing else to add; just pure fluff.

“he’s kickin’ me again,” toji complains with a deep sigh. tiny feet keep patting his back, not allowing the man to sleep at all. the culprit is none other than megumi—his beloved, yet bratty, son.

the little boy lays between you and your husband. you figured that this was best since megumi kept wailing each time you put him back in his crib.

you chuckle at toji’s groans of annoyance. your son is still full of energy, even if it’s already super late at night. your hand brushes against megumi’s chubby cheek and you can’t help but squeeze it lightly.

that action gains you a high-pitched squeak. you sigh and keep your child occupied with the movement of your finger against his face, “it’s his way of asking for attention, honey.”

toji grumbles something under his breath and scoots away from the both of you. megumi’s head turns towards his dad, his attention caught by the rustling of the sheets. you raise an eyebrow in response to toji putting distance between you both.

“papa’s mean,” you huff, talking to your baby. you can’t see toji’s face since his broad back is obstructing the view, though you can easily guess that he’s frowning.

maybe even secretly sulking about the lack of sleep. you do understand, however. he’s worked hard all day to provide for both megumi and you.

“papa,” megumi speaks up with an adorable pout on his lips. he crawls over to toji before you can stop him. the little boy taps at toji’s back again, tugging at the fabric of his shirt.

megumi’s need for attention and affection from his father is heartwarming to see. you reach out towards your son in hopes of picking him back up. toji needs his rest after all.

a deep sigh escapes toji’s lips. not one of frustration this time, but rather one of defeat. he opens his eyes and turns around to face megumi. the man’s stoic face softens the moment he sees those cute doe eyes staring up at him.

“c’mere,” toji grumbles and lifts his child’s tiny body up without any effort. megumi giggles instantly and reaches his hands out to hold his dad’s face. your husband playfully bites your son’s tiny fingers instead, “not gonna allow y’r dad to sleep, huh? tsk tsk.”

you watch the scene unfold with a tender smile. toji lowers his head and starts blowing raspberries against megumi’s tummy. the baby squeals and giggles uncontrollably, writhing around in toji’s embrace.

“this is what ya get for being a brat,” toji mumbles and switches to leaving kisses along the little boy’s belly. that makes megumi laugh as well due to the ticklishness.

toji grins. his earlier drowsiness and annoyance have vanished into thin air. he can’t possibly stay mad at his son. not after seeing megumi happy. and especially not after seeing your content smile too.

“mama! mama!” megumi laughs between cries of help. his tiny hand reaches out to you whilst toji continues the little attack on his tummy. you chuckle and decide to intervene.

you scoot over to the other side and shield megumi’s tiny body from your husband’s tickles. you frown and playfully scold him, “stay away from my baby, you big bad guy.”

toji raises an eyebrow in amusement. he bites back a laugh before cocking his head to the side, that familiar smug expression appearing on his face.

“oh yeah? ‘m the bad guy now, eh?” the dark-haired man rolls his eyes. he towers over both you and your son - who’s giggling and still holding tightly onto you, “all right. i’ll show you just how bad i can be then.”

your eyes widen the moment you feel toji’s fingers land underneath your shirt, touching your bare skin. not a second passes by and he’s already tickling you. his other hand reaches for megumi’s tummy again—now making the both of you squirm and giggle loudly.

the happy sounds echo throughout the room. perhaps even loud enough for your neighbours to hear at four in the morning. but, you don’t care about any possible noise complaints. not during this cozy family moment.

plus toji’s fond smile as he continues torturing you and your son is definitely worth all of it.