#a gentleman of a cucumber

[kiwiplaetzchen]

If you won't rub the cucumber, would you at least give it a good pat? It tried it's best today.

Just like you, my sweet Anon! 😌💚

[junkdrawerfics]

Insomnia

Jasper Hale X Reader

Summary: There's one thing the Cullens don't know about you and you try with every fiber of your being to make sure things stay that way, especially with your boyfriend, Jasper. His gift makes it a little hard though, making you stretch to unhealthy limits.

Word Count: 2677

Warnings: Insomnia, the effects of sleep deprivation, no beta

---

A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you lean against the lockers, welcoming the cold bite of the metal against your skin. Why did you come to school today? Every second that goes by, you feel like you’re walking deeper and deeper into a fog only surrounding you. It makes it hard to think, hard to process anything.

“Darlin’?”

You jump like a cat finding a cucumber when a deep voice breaks through your fog. As quick as you’ve moved in days, you spin around to find a familiar blond standing right behind you. Jasper. Out of habit, a smile slips onto your lips.

“Morning Jazz,” you murmur and wrap your arms around his waist.

Jasper doesn’t reply, just gently pulls you back so he can look at your face, his brow furrowed. You keep the smile up and try your hardest to push your emotions away, just focusing on how happy it makes you to see him. You don’t want him to worry. It feels like that’s all you do, make him worry, which honestly just makes you feel worse, so hopefully today you can play off the sluggishness clinging to you. It would be so much easier if he didn’t have his gift.

“Everything alright, darlin’?”

He might have caught on before you could think of hiding it, though. Stubbornly, you press on, giving him a nod and stretching up onto your toes to press a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Everything perfect now that you’re here,” you throw out the cheesy line, which seems to be enough to distract him.

Jasper shakes his head, but an amused smirk pulls at the corner of his lips.

“So, are you going to walk me to class, cowboy?” You ask, closing your locker after you grab the books you need.

“It’d be my pleasure, ma’am.”

Your heart melts at his words, and your smile shifts into a soft grin as the blond loops your arm through his and takes your books. Such a gentleman. And lucky for you, all his previous concerns have disappeared. Hopefully you can keep it that way for the rest of the day.

It’s a mostly well-hidden secret you keep from the vampire coven. Ironically, Bella is the only one who knows about it, your insomnia. On a normal day, you can function well enough and get through school with little issue, but recently it’s been worse. Last night was particularly bad, and by that you mean you didn’t sleep at all.

You just don’t want Jasper or the others to find out about it. Not because you don’t trust them, or it’s some big, bad secret, of course. You just…You already feel so weak compared to them and all their amazing powers. You don’t feel the need to add to that, or worry them.

So, one day of hiding your fatigue isn’t too hard.

A week later, however, you feel like you’re falling apart at the seams.

You’re sitting in history class, trying to listen to whatever your teacher is saying about the civil war, and then the next moment, you’re jolting awake to the school bell. The shrill ringing sends pulses of pain through your head. They crash on you like waves, and you can’t breathe, can’t even open your eyes without nausea sweeping through you.

“Are you alright, Miss (L/n)?”

Vaguely, you can hear your teacher’s voice, but he sounds miles away. It feels like there’s cotton stuffed into your ears, which somehow makes the ringing in your head even louder. Despite the pain, and the sudden urge to throw up, you nod your head and slowly shuffle out of the room. Out of the room and into the loud, loud hallway.

“Hey (Y/n)!”

You flinch. Why are they screaming right in your ear? Everything in slow motion, you turn, eyes squinted but unable to make out the blurry figure jumping in front of you. Why are they moving so slow? Or are you moving slow? Why can’t you see their face?

The nausea comes crashing back over you, and you have to press a hand against the nearest wall to keep yourself upright. The person, you assume you know them, asks you something. What are they saying? The words mix and blend, getting lost and muffled in the cotton. Brow furrowed, you try to get them to repeat themselves, but your tongue feels heavy in your mouth, like sand. You press a hand to your forehead, the pounding becoming more like someone taking a hammer to your skull. Everything feels so heavy, so loud, so…so…

Your head hits the tile before you can hear the surprised shrieks ringing through the hall.

---

Jasper jerks when he hears a loud scream sound from another hall across the school.

“What was that?” Alice asks, earning a few weird looks from the passing students. They hadn’t heard it, of course.

The blond vampire shrugs, but something uneasy starts to build in his chest. An accident on school grounds could mean blood, and losing control here would be a one way ticket to leaving Forks, leaving you. He can’t bear the thought.

“Should we go check it out?” Alice looks at him, gold eyes gleaming with concern. The same thoughts are running through her mind.

“No,” Jasper says tightly, lips pursed.

The ravenette nods in agreement, so the two continue towards their class. The uneasiness doesn’t go away, though. All Jasper can think about is you, where you might be, if you’re okay. You’d been acting strange the past week, and it only makes it worse that he can’t seem to get a grip on your emotions. It’s like you’re hiding them from him. That in itself worries him, but he trusts you, knows you’ll talk to him if you want to. He won’t push. Yet.

Jasper tries to put these thoughts out of his head as their algebra class starts. Though he doesn’t need to focus in the class (they had taken it several times at this point), keeping appearances is important to the Cullens. It is difficult though when images of you flitter through his head each time the teacher starts to drone.

Things come to an abrupt halt when the door flies open. Everyone jumps in their seats when it slams loudly against the wall.

Alice and Jasper exchange a look when Edward appears at the front, offering a sheepish smile before quickly talking to the teacher in a hushed voice. One only the vampires and he can hear.

“Jasper Hale and Alice Cullen have been requested at the office. There’s been an…incident,” Edward says in a calm, smooth voice. The teacher doesn’t even question him, just gestures for the pair to go.

“What’s going on, Edward?” Alice demands once they reach the hall. There were no visions, nothing about an accident with the family, so she feels horribly caught off guard.

Jasper walks a few paces ahead of his siblings, overwhelmed by the concern and shock rolling off of Edward. It’s not like him to project his emotions so loudly, and it sets the blond on edge. If he was feeling uneasy before, now he’s on the brink of panic. Had something happened to Bella? Was it good idea for him to be here if so?

“Bella is fine,” Edward assures him from behind, a hint of hesitation creeping into his voice as he continues, “It’s…It’s (Y/n).”

Jasper stops dead in his tracks. He whips around, wide eyes ablaze.

Both his siblings take a step back, unfamiliar with the wild, unbridled look on the blond. His careful composure is cracking. Things are different with you, they always have been. Despite having the ability to sense and influence emotions, Jasper struggles to contain himself when it comes to you. Everyone felt the shift when they met you. They had all been ecstatic to see Jasper’s more reserved nature slip away around you, but they never considered what else that could entail.

“She’s okay, Jasper,” Edward is quick to try and calm him, “She’s just resting in the nurse’s off-”

In the blink of an eye, he’s gone. Off to find you.

“You probably should have waited on that detail,” Alice murmurs, a touch of amusement in her words, “It’s nice to see how much he cares about her, though.”

Edward nods, but he can’t ward off the concern that pulls his lips into a thin line. Alice puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly before giving him a tug towards the office.

“Let’s go,” she insists, “and tell me what happened on the way, okay?”

---

You’re just waking up when Jasper rushes into the room. In less than a second, he is kneeling at your side, jaw clenched, eyes scanning every inch of you for injuries.

“Hey Jazz,” you croak, throat dry and scratchy.

Those wild amber eyes finally meet yours, and it feels like a punch to the gut, worse than the headache still clinging to you. They are filled to the brim with untamed concern and glazed over with exhaustion. But he can’t get tired. The thought makes you cringe. You did this, he’s feeling your emotions. Why did you let it get this far?

The building distress quickly fizzles out, replaced by a warmth, a sense of contentment. It’s unnatural, certainly Jasper’s gift, but you close your eyes anyways and let it take over. It is a welcomed break from the torrent you’ve been living through.

“Sorry if I scared you,” you break the small silence building between you, peaking an eye open to look at him again, “Guess the cat’s out of the bag, huh?”

Jasper nods curtly, but doesn’t say anything. You take that as the sign to keep talking. He deserves an explanation.

Starting with a deep breath, you hesitantly begin, “Well…I have insomnia. I um, it’s hard to fall asleep sometimes, and when I do, it’s hard to stay asleep.” You chew on your bottom lip. It almost sounds ridiculous, it’s like you don’t know how to sleep. You basically don’t. “You could say I’m going through a rough patch right now.”

One of Jasper’s hands covers yours, which you were fiddling with. His fingers interlace with yours gently, thumb smoothing over your knuckles.

“Darlin’...when was the last time you slept?”

It takes you a moment to think. Whenever things get bad, your memory is the first thing to go in the trash.

“Probably like, I mean, if we’re talking a decent amount of sleep, that was probably, probably a week ago?”

Jasper takes in a deep breath, jaw clenching once again. His grip on your hand tightens, not enough to hurt, but enough for you to know he’s distressed.

“I’m okay, though, I’ve been dealing with this for years,” you smile at him softly in reassurance.

Exhaustion is slowly creeping back towards you, tugging at your mind like an annoying little tick you can’t get rid of. He must notice too, because he suddenly looks around for a nurse, one of which is standing near the doorway to keep an eye on the two of you.

“May I take her home? She’ll be needin’ some rest after all of this.”

The nurse seems to hesitate, but you notice a small shift in her expression before she offers a warm smile and concedes, “Of course, hun. Make sure she gets home safe, we’ll give her parents a call.”

You go to get up, but are denied the chance to stand when Jasper quickly sweeps you up bridal style. A squeak escapes your parted lips, all the while a small grin tugs at the blond’s lips. You cling to his shoulders, squirming slightly, but his grip just tightens.

“I can walk on my own, you know,” you grumble and hit his chest weakly, “Don’t go to any trouble for me.”

The small twitch of his lips turns into one of his fully cocked smirks and he raises a brow at you, “Trust me, darlin’, it’s no trouble. If you don’t recall, I’m stronger than I look.”

You pout at the smugness in his voice. Stupid vampire. Stupid super strength. And he totally used his gift to convince that nurse to let you go. If you had any energy left, you’d probably find something snide to say, but all you want to do is curl into his cool embrace and fall asleep. Just one full night of sleep.

“Is she okay?”

Alice?

“You gave us a real fright, girlie.”

Yep, that’s Alice.

You offer an embarrassed smile, “Sorry, things got a bit out of hand, I guess.”

“You passed out in the hall.”

And Edward, of course. Makes sense how they found out now.

“I’m taking (Y/n) home so she can rest,” Jasper is quick to explain, “You two can head back to class.”

You hear a snort from your best friend, but she doesn’t pose an argument. She must be worried too, but it would look weird for her to leave. It’s bad enough that you’re dragging Jasper out. It’s a relief he offered though. Because there’s no way you could get home without a car, since both your parents are working.

“Can we um, can we take it slow, Jazz? Kinda nauseous,” you grumble, burying your face in his sweater.

“Of course, darlin’.” He presses his lips to your hair and the journey starts.

You let your eyes close, equal parts lulled and dizzied by the steady sway of Jasper’s steps. Despite taking it slow, it still feels like you reach your home in no time. When you open your eyes next, you’re right in front of your house. Jasper silently asks for your keys. You fish them from your pocket with trembling fingers. He glides into the house, kicking the door shut behind him as he carries you to your bedroom. With a gentleness beyond human, the blond settles you down on the bed.

You curl up under your comforter as he proceeds to speed around, gathering everything you could possibly need. Food, water, extra blankets. You wouldn’t think based on the way he presents himself that Jasper is actually the biggest, softest teddy bear. You don’t think you’ve met a kinder soul.

When everything is in its place, Jasper settles down on the edge of the bed. He glances around, as if looking for something he can do. You reach out to grab the hem of his sweater, bringing those gold eyes down to you.

“Can you stay? Cuddle?” You mumble with your best puppy dog eyes.

Jasper smiles softly, not one of his smirks or fanged grins, just one of his smiles that he reserves just for you, “Why, of course. Anything for you, darlin’.”

The blond slips under the blankets and leans against the backboard, shifting so you can curl into him, head on his lap. The exhaustion that has been lurking around you seems to be just on the edge, so close to letting you sleep, but something in your chest won’t settle. Him being here helps. You feel safer when he’s next to you. It feels like you didn’t even know the meaning of peace until you met Jasper.

The vampire senses the quick succession of your emotions. He tenderly threads his fingers through your hair and focuses on detangling the strands as he does the same to your emotions. For each one, he replaces them with something comforting to help you sleep. Safety, love, everything warm.

You melt into Jasper, the ache in your chest finally easing. 

“I love you,” you all but whisper, eyes fluttering closed.

He leans over, pressing one final kiss to your forehead. His lips brush your skin as he murmurs, “I love you too, now get some sleep.”

You giggle sleepily and bury your face back into his lap. The feeling of his fingers in your hair slowly lulls you to sleep, one you willingly give in to. And for the first time in a week, you stay asleep. All thanks to a certain Jasper Whitlock.

---

Love me some Jasper Whitlock. I felt like writing this because of my experience with insomnia, and I thought it would be interesting how that would work with Jasper's gift.

[butteronabun]

CW: hella suggestive. Mature. Minors shooo! Nothing explicit happens, but there are mentions of intercourse. Female reader.

You’re not even doing it on purpose. It’s just unbearably hot as of the moment in Mondstadt right now, so can Diluc really blame you for these unforgiving circumstances? Is it really your fault when your gentleman of a husband can’t even look at you in the eye when you wore something cooler—a simple camisole and shorts that reveals too much of your skin—inside the private confines of your marital bedroom?

“I’m not even seducing you,” you say from the bed, your body sprawled to the white sheets. You are obviously in distraught, as you continuously fan your sweating face with your fingers. Diluc can assume that Mondstadt’s winds aren’t just doing it for you this time. “This is the least I can do to feel refreshed.”

Diluc saunters towards you. “But even if it’s not your intention, I. . .” The gods are cruel to him, really. Even if you assert that you really are not seducing him, Diluc still wants you regardless. “Pardon, love, but I-”

He stares at the right strap that has fallen off on your shoulder. He’s not sure if his hand wants to pull it back or if he wants to let it stay exposed.

He lifts his head from it when he sees you blink up at him once he’s close. Then, you sigh, worrying him for a second, until you give him a playful smirk, “Does the hubby want to bang tonight? Smash? Knock boots?”

Diluc is taken aback from your use of terms. He almost wants to reprimand you. You are so silly. How can you say that? His cheeks heat up as he stammers, “D – Do you really have to put it like that?” Then, he sits beside you. He cannot help it but caress your cheek tenderly. ( He only hopes you won’t be bothered by the fact that he still runs hotter than anyone else, mainly because of his vision. )

You obviously ignore his concern, and he knows you’re going to tease him more about this. You lean to his touch with a satisfied hum. “What? Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch? Filling the cream donut? Bedroom rodeo? Bow chick a wow wow~?”

Diluc almost short circuits, and his rosy face darkens even more. Colorful words. Your boldness never fails to fascinate him. “Well, fine, if that’s what you call it, then. . .yes.”

You chuckle, “Wow, my husband just can’t resist me! He desires me everyday, it’s embarrassing~”

Maybe it was embarrassing before, but loving you is something he’s proud to do. It’s what he wants to do forever. “You are correct.” And, as your husband, isn’t it only right for him to want you so much?

Your smile grows wide. “Then, out of the goodness in my heart, I’ll allow you to do hot push ups on top of me. If you know what I mean.” You open your arms for him, welcoming him to do what he pleases, and he does not hesitate to accept it. You are, undeniably, his own temptation.

With a grunt, Diluc calls your name. He responds after you give him an affirmation that you are listening. “Just call it making love.” Then he dives down to your supine form, before finally kissing you on the shoulder that he has been subtly eyeing on for the past two minutes.

[mistydeyes]

perfumes i think the 141 boys enjoy

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summary: Scent is one of the most powerful senses, so what kind of fragrance do the 141 boys + Alejandro like on their significant other?

pairing: 141 x Reader

warnings: none

a/n - i also work for a perfume company so I've had a couple of ideas about what scents the boys like :)

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price - loves expensive, smokey scents on anyone. imagine the scents of a fresh cigar-that's what price wants in a fragrance. notes like pepper, leather, tobacco, cedar wood, and iris will make him crumble.

masculine

oud wood - tom ford notes: oud wood, sandalwood, chinese pepper

osmanthe kodoshan - maison crivelli notes: leather, tobacco, sichuan pepper, apricot, peach

functional fragrance - the nue co. notes: cardamom, iris, palo santo, cilantro

unisex

hinoki fantôme - boy smells notes: tobacco leaves, oak moss, and smoked leather

jazz club - maison marigela notes: pink pepper, rum, tobacco

lumière d’iris - veronique gabai notes: rose, iris, cedarwood, amber

feminine

baccarat rouge 540 - maison francis kurkdjia notes: jasmine, ambergris, saffron, cedar wood

cuir béluga - guerlain notes: leather, powder, vanilla

platinum 22 - floris london notes: rose, violet leaf, blackcurrant, oat, black tea

soap - woodsy, floral scents are soap's surprising pick. it brings back memories of the scottish countryside, adventuring in the woods and smelling the fresh flowers his mam had. notice notes of herbs (sage, rosemary, mint), lavender, and violet.

masculine

sauvage - dior notes: pepper, amberwood, bergamot, powder

h24 - hermès notes: clary sage, narcissus, rosewood

new york wall street - bond no.9 notes: sea kale, cucumber, lavender, ambergris, vetiver

unisex

voodoo chile - dries van noten notes: rosemary, patchouli, hemp

libre - yves saint laurent notes: lavender, musk

dirty grass - heretic notes: black pepper, lemon, hemp, violet

feminine

melancholy thistle - jo malone london notes: thistle, english ivy, cool wood

portrait of a lady - frédéric malle notes: frankincense, black currant, raspberry, patchouli

la tulipe - byredo notes: tulips, cyclamen, fressia, rhubarb

gaz - FLORAL CITRUS will make this man fall in love with you. it reminds him of a warm summer day sitting in the grass and smelling flowers. look for summery fragrances with notes of citrus, lemon, sage, and fresh herbs.

masculine

bleu de chanel - chanel notes: citrus, labdanum, sandalwood, cedar

polo black - ralph lauren notes: iced mango, lemon, tangerine, sandalwood, sage, patchouli

l'homme - yves saint laurent notes: bergamot, ginger, cedar wood, vetiver

unisex

cactus garden - louis vuitton notes: maté, bergamot, lemongrass

velvet cypress - dolce & gabbana notes: pine, lemon zest, bergamot, clary sage

eau de campagne - sisley notes: grass, citrus, herbs, jasmine, lily of the valley

feminine

brazilian crush cheirosa 62 - sol de janeiro notes: pistachio, almond, sandalwood, heliotrope, jasmine

her blossom - burberry notes: mandarin, plum blossom, sandalwood

flora gorgeous jasmine - gucci notes: mandarin, jasmine, magnolia, sandalwood

ghost - likes a light, musky scent! he loves when a scent adds to a person's natural smell (he hates sugary, gourmand scents). ingredients like musk, ambrox, pepper, sandalwood catch his eye as he pictures fresh sheets and a rainfall in a forest.

masculine

geranium pour monsieur - frédéric malle notes: mint, aniseed, sandalwood, geranium, frankincense

atlantis - blu atlas notes: orris, oak moss, violet, musk, ambrette seed

gentleman - givenchy notes: pear, lavender, patchouli

unisex

glossier you - glossier notes: pink pepper, iris, ambrette seeds, ambrox

not a perfume - juliette has a gun notes: ambergris

santal 33 - le labo notes: violet cardamom, cedar wood, iris, ambrox

feminine

missing person - phlur notes: musk, bergamot, jasmine, neroli, sandalwood

golden nectar - nest notes: florals, orchid, amber, musk

apollonia - xerjoff notes: white floral, orris butter, white musk

extra! alejandro - if ghost likes it simple and light, then alejandro is the exact opposite. he loves when he can smell someone's fragrance across the room. focus on bold fragrances with spicy notes of nutmeg, myrrh, and rum that is mixed with the gourmand of vanilla, almond, and tonka bean.

masculine

the last day of summer - gucci notes: cedarwood, cypress, nutmeg, patchouli, vetiver

bibliothèque - byredo notes: peach, peony, violet, leather, patchouli, vanilla

london myrrh & tonka - jo malone notes: almond, vanilla, myrrh, lavender, honey

unisex

tobacco vanille - tom ford notes: tonka bean, vanilla. cacao

dark rum - malin + goetz notes: anise, plum, leather, rum, patchouli, amber

tao dao - diptyque notes: sandalwood, cedar, cypress, myrte

feminine

lost cherry - tom ford notes: black cherry, tonka bean, almond

brazil aroma - costa notes: white jungle flora, orange oil, pink pepper, bourbon, vetiver, patchouli

babylon - penhaligon's notes: saffron, nutmeg, coriander, cedar wood, vanilla, cypriol

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[pinejayy]

ꕥ ONE PIECE MATCHUP

@lady-of-endless || one piece trade || I match you up with!!

|| ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ Vïñ§mðkê §åñjï ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

・❥・I match you up with the Strawhat Cook!! Lucky you 😩. But let’s be real here this man is going to treat you like a complete princess and he’s definitely going to be a horn dog around you so make sure to have a rolled up newspaper with at all times. But Sanji absolutely loves and adores you and he’s going to do everything to protect you. And he’s the type of guy who would literally put his life on the line for you. And Sanji does notice that you always put other people first rather than yourself and he appreciates that because he’s also the same but sometimes enough is enough. And Sanji will tell you how you can’t always put people first and that you have to think about yourself. And honestly he’s the type of guy to push you down on your bed and make you take a well needed day. But with that being said he’s the type of man to give you a spa day. So that includes full body massages and the cucumber in the eyes. And Sanji is also going to praise your beautiful body. He’ll drag his lips all across your body and mumble sweet comments and tell you how much he loves and appreciates you.

・❥・Sanji loves taking you on dates whenever you guys get a chance. And when you guys are in the ship he makes sure to always make sure you’re fed. And if Luffy tries to take your food away he’s going to beat him up. But he’s always making you sweet treats such as cupcakes, brownies, macaroons and cookies. And with that being said you spend most of your time in the kitchen with him. And this sweet man is always showing you how to cook. But that always leads up to guys messing around like covering each other in flour and then that leads up to him grabbing you and lifting you by your waist and placing you on the kitchen counter and running his hands along your body and his lips along your neck and face. But hands down you’re a lucky person getting this gentleman. He loves you very much uwu.

・❥・HEADCANONS!!

A lot of hot steamy Makeout sessions in the kitchen, he makes sure to lock the door because knowing Luffy he’s just going to burst through the door.

Zoro and Sanji get into a lot of heated arguments and you usually have to pull Sanji away and take him away from Zoro. Sometimes their fights lead to physical fights and that’s a no no. And you usually scowl Sanji and telling him he can’t fight with Zoro all the time.

When the Crew makes a stop to grab some supplies someone needs to stay behind and take care of the ship and whenever both you and Sanji stay back you guys take advantage of the alone time. Wink Wink~

He has a lot of pet names for you, and he also loves giving you gifts. He’s more of a giver rather than a receiver.

[redsrooftopprincess]

Renfaire Headcanons

Okay everyone! Faire (Renaissance Festival) just wrapped and I'm sad, so I'm making it everyone else's problem. Here are some headcanons!

Leo

Faire can be a lot for Leo. There are a lot of moving parts, and if you're at a crowded faire, expect him to be on guard at all times. But, if you're at a smaller faire and/or you can get him to relax, he's actually a blast.

Chivalry is this guy's middle name, or it would be if he had a middle name. Does he have a middle name? If he does, you've never heard it. The minute you walk in, he's looking for the flower vendor. Expect a lot of "Yes, my (honorific of choice)," "No, my (honorific of choice)." Kisses to the back of your hand while looking deeply into your eyes. The works. This guy is Prince Charming, and just like all the other roles in his life, he takes it seriously.

His favorite events are the Joust and the Falconer. He's placing "gentleman's bets" on the knights with Raphael, and they have a really great time just being brothers and watching sports. He also loves the falconer and spends almost an hour chatting with him after the demonstration is over. By the end, the falconer is so charmed they help him leather-wrap his arm/hand (they don't exactly have a glove that fits), and teach him to fly the birds.

As for games, he won't pick up a sword because he knows it wouldn't be fair, but he really enjoys showing off his archery skills. And show off he will. Mike may be the one usually grabbing hold of the spotlight, but don't think for one second that Leo can't be a showman. Especially if it's something he knows he's good at. Any and all archery/ninja combo tricks he can think of, and by the end the hay bale will be reduced to a scattered pile. Be watchful of his anxiety levels before he heads to the range, however. If he's not in a good place, all the attention/cameras could cause him to panic.

As for food, all the greasy, fried things don't really sit well with him. He does, however enjoy High Tea with the queen, and will spend a lot of that time cleverly waxing poetic about you and making elegantly veiled innuendos, while you blush furiously into your cucumber sandwiches.

Shopping will be all about you. He lives to spoil you, and if you even *hint* that you like something, expect it to "randomly" show up in your bags when you're unpacking at the end of the day. He might even be using this as an opportunity to figure out your ring size and/or what types of jewelry/stones you like.

...

Raph

Expect your knight in shining armor to be doing his job. If it's a crowded faire, he won't be as visibly anxious as Leo, but expect him to be a little distracted while keeping an eye on everything. Very protective, but it only takes one conversation for you to explain to him that you're dressed like this because you want to be noticed. Still eyes anyone who seems like they might be getting a little too handsy.

Once he's more comfortable with people just randomly coming up to hug you and others standing at a distance to ogle you, he's good. Raph loves an excuse to get out and have a good time, and RenFaire is not only no different, but it's one of those places that tends to embrace the weird. Rather than screaming and running people are enthralled and constantly asking him how he made his "costume." ("Trade secret" 😉). 🤭

He loves the Joust and he and Leo will have a great time betting and bonding, loser buying the next round of drinks. But Live Steel Combat is by far his favorite. The second he passes by a pit of armored combatants beating the shit out of each other, he's hooked. After the fight, he spends some time talking to the fighters and even exchanging techniques.

Raph doesn't care about showing off, he's just there to have a good time, so he'll be a little surprised when he turns around after spending 15 minutes destroying the dagger/hatchet throw boards to see a crowd has gathered. He'll recover quickly, however. Activate Full *Gaston* mode. Showing off and shooting flirty winks and comments at some of the more thirsty patrons that are paying attention to some of his more dexterous moves. Flexing at every opportunity. But don't worry, his last trick will be hitting the bullseye while dipping you into a kiss that reminds you that he's only yours. Drink up those nasty looks. You've earned them.

My guy likes to keep it simple when it comes to food. How many turkey legs? How many you got? They will learn to dread the hulking figure in red and green coming up to the stand, and you may have to gently remind him at one point that the other patrons need to eat, too. After that, he'll be happy to try the other things, he'll particularly enjoy the scotch egg.

On vendors row, he spends more time talking with with artisans and craftspeople than doing any actual shopping, and will end up leaving with "gifts" to get started on his own projects. He particularly likes the leatherworkers and fiber artists. Don't think he isn't paying attention, though. Weeks later, you'll start finding handmade gift on your windowsill similar to, but more beautiful than, those things he noticed you notice.

...

Donnie

It isn't often this artificer gets to indulge in the *other* side of the geekdom coin, he carves out a few hours a week for D&D, but other than that, his mind won't let him get away from his engineering fixation all that often. But when you give him an opportunity to flex his creative side while still making his "gotta-build" brain happy, he'll put your ass to work. You'll spend the months leading up to faire together, in the back of the lab building matching steampunk engineer costumes that actually freaking work. Expect to own the competition.

The costume contest is, of course, the most important event. You may not make it if he spends too long talking about your rigs with interested parties, so set timers and plan for people to stop the two of you on your way there. After easily taking the win and smugly taking your hand, kissing it, and helping you down the wooden steps, expect him to look for the Irish Step Dancers. The rhythm and synchronicity will help him regulate after all the attention.

Donnie will munch on whatever sweet, fried thing you put in front of him, but he seeks out the mead tent. He doesn't drink much or often, but he does appreciate the time and care that goes into the fermentation process, and he'll really enjoy trying every flavor they have before buying a bottle of your favorite for the two of you, and another one that his father might like.

Donnie is not really interested in the wares in the vendor booths, so this time with you is all about research. Much like Leo, he's learning what you like and what you don't like. Colors, textures, patterns, all filed away for later. If you find something you really love, he'll pull the "I'll be right back," move, once you're three booths away, then hand the bag to you without a word, link his arm with yours, and keep walking. He may also have a discrete conversation with the leatherworker about some *ahem* custom items.

...

Mikey

Let's. Fucking. Go. He is ready, baby. He only just learned about Renaissance Festivals, but you do not have to ask him twice he is down. The two of you will spend a little time putting together some casual fun costumes the day before, and then proceed to fully forget half of what you wanted to bring by the time you're parked and unloading, but that's okay because it's RenFaire babyyy!

This guy will lay it on thick. Leo may be Prince Charming, but this Jester has your heart and will be doing everything he can to make sure you and everyone else remembers why. Expect comments and compliments dripping with innuendo that make you more red than the tomatoes at the dunk tank...

Which just happens to be one of his favorite things! A quick wit and good aim turns the game into a show and a crowd will gather as he and the dunkee toss insults back and forth. He'll occasionally punctuate his barbs by tossing a tomato and hitting the button just enough to make the platform almost give out. Eventually, once he and the actor have come to some kind of verbal truce, he'll give them a sweet smile, before throwing his last fruit, and landing them in the water.

This will be a theme all day. Any/all raunchy/adult-themed comedy shows are on his agenda. In fact, expect him to be constantly checking the schedule. He loves a good show! He'll even make time for some of the performances geared toward little kids. At one point, happily playing an ogre in one of the twisted fairy tale performances (the ogre is the good guy 😁).

Food is easy. It's it bad for you? Would his dad give him a look while he eats too much of it? Awesome.

Shopping will start pretty much immediately. My dude walked in, saw ✨Fashion✨, and said "Yes please! 😃" He is at the Cordwainer in minutes talking about a pair of custom Rennie boots, and he is NOT leaving without a rainbow utilikilt. He'll be a little bummed he can't get elf ears, but he'll find a dope-as-hell flower crown that'll more than make up for it.

.....

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @milykins

[nose235678]

Finished my first play through with my Crow!Rook!

I’m devastated! My Lavellan’s happy ending broke my heart and the Lucanis romance is wonderful!

But am I gonna take a break? No, not for a second!

Warden Var’fen “Rook” Thorne reporting for duty!

Her parents left her clan during the Fifth Blight, after they fought with the other Dalish in Denerim and King Alistair refused to honor his promise of land to the Elves. Offering their skills to the Grey Wardens as trackers in the Anderfels where she’d discover her magic and live as an apostate. Training to be a healer with Warden Mages until they invited her to join them on a trip to the newly emerged Kal-Sharok and stumbled into a nest of Darkspawn.

Barely managing to clear them out, but not before Var’fen was blighted and subsequently took the Joining at the age of 23. Suffering a rare side effect of the ritual that turned the sclera of her eyes black. Meeting Varric shortly thereafter and at 24, using a fake last name since joining the Wardens, they would make their move against the Dread Wolf.

Doing whatever it took to stop his ritual…

Her likes include:

*Cioccolata calda ☕️ (never had chocolate until Varric bought her a cup and was addicted ever since)

*Dogs 🐶 (left mabari, Josa behind with her family when she left to hunt Solas)

*Rocks 🪨 💎 (picks up a pebble or crystal wherever she goes. Most are just cool looking lumps of granite)

*Giving gifts to friends 🎁 (gifts may or may not be pebbles that “remind her of them” and no, she will never explain what she means)

*Harts 🦌(her parents raise them for mounts to herd halla. Brought them along from Ferelden to the Anderfels when they moved)

*Smoking Elfroot 🍃(helps with period pain; bad before, but the Joining made it worse)

Her dislikes include:

*The Chantry ⛪️(only got her vallaslin to keep Templars from dragging her off to a Circle)

*Dracolisks 🦎(saw one lick its own eye like a gecko once and never recovered. Scarred for life)

*Cooked vegetables 🥦 (if it’s slimy? She will die before eating it, but likes salads, carrots and has been yelled at more than once for shuffling around the pantry/kitchen, eating a whole bell pepper/cucumber/tomato, like a rabbit)

*Taxes 💵(self-explanatory)

Who she’ll romance:

This dapper gentleman, whom she met once before while recruiting conscripts in Nevarra City. Bumping into him on her way out of the city dungeon while he was leaving the morgue after corpse-whispering to help solve a murder. Never exchanged a word, but she remembered his polite apology (the first she’d ever received from a Shem) for nearly knocking her over and he remembered her eyes.

[pinknipszz]

modern headcanons | beach day

⋆✮↪ ao’nung, tsireya, neteyam, lo’ak, and kiri

ao’nung

definitely goes surfing at the beach. body surfing, bodyboarding, longboarding– you name it. the hobby shouldn’t have been much of a surprise to you, but when you first saw him out in the waves, safe to say your eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. you weren’t a complete stranger to surfing, but ao’nung did it on a level that had you questioning if it was even safe anymore. he always teases you for getting worried about his safety, but if it really starts to get rough out there, he’s willing to stay by the shore with you.

insists on being in charge of the sunscreen. since ao’nung spends most of the day under the sun, he knows how important it is to apply an ample amount of sunscreen. he doesn’t care if you want to stay under the shade or not. he will apply as much sunscreen as possible on your skin. if you ask him about it, he’d probably brush it off as a health precaution. while that’s partly true, the real reason is because he didn’t listen to his mother one time as a kid. he had to learn the hard way.

tsireya

brings the food, the blanket, you name it. it’s her love language. as much as you want to help, there’s no denying the fact that the set-up turns out way more aesthetically pleasing when she’s in charge. plus, her cooking is as wonderful as she is. it doesn’t even feel like a picnic anymore. you once told her that she should start a catering business, but she just smiled and shrugged it off, saying that she’d only go above and beyond for you. you could’ve sworn you melted on the spot.

loves to make bracelets. tsireya loves jewelry. not so much the expensive kind, but simple ones you can make by hand. when you aren’t in the mood for swimming but want to enjoy the salty breeze, tsireya sets up a blanket and brings her bracelet-making kits. when you accidentally discovered her hobby, tsireya called it childish and embarrassing, but you quickly reassured her that it was nothing of that sort. now you make matching bracelets together.

neteyam

knows the best time and date to have a beach day. his intuition is admirable and borderline scary. he knows you don’t like crowded beaches, and honestly, neither does he. neteyam prefers more private and intimate spots, so his only request after you suggested a beach day was to pick when and where to go. agreeing was the best decision you ever made. the weather is always perfect, the water is crystal clear, and no one else is there. really, you don’t know how he does it.

lets you bury him under the sand. probably used to it since he’s the eldest sibling. it started with sandcastles, but when you brought up a fond memory about “sand mermaids” from your childhood, neteyam was eager to recreate it just to hear you laugh. personally, he doesn’t get the joke, but it’s important to you and that’s all that matters to him. he’s just a gentleman through and through. he also doesn’t mind if you take embarrassing pictures of him.

lo’ak

if possible, he cannonballs. for this reason alone, he’s very particular about the beach you guys go to. there’s no nearby cliff over the water? pass. there’s no overhanging tree to climb and jump off of? pass. the water is too shallow? pass. it’s like he’s asking for death at this point, and he’s so stubborn about it. you’ll admit that the stress is worth it, though. he knows how to make things fun.

brings two pairs of goggles. lo’ak makes it a challenge to find the “weirdest” sea creatures possible. he’d definitely try to gross you out with them too. luckily, you know his greatest weakness: sea cucumbers. he physically can’t be within a five feet radius of a sea cucumber. silliness aside, you two spend a lot of time swimming through reefs together. he isn’t the most graceful swimmer, but you can tell that he’s fascinated by marine life. he’ll never admit it though. you find it endearing.

kiri

loves to paint your nails. you’d think that the beach wasn’t an ideal place to paint your nails, but somehow, this girl made it work. you two didn’t even go to the beach for swimming at this point. you’re there for scenery. you weren’t upset by it, though, because every second spent with your favorite girl was worth it, and you can tell she felt the same way. she also has a very artistic hand. kiri knows how to recreate any nail design you show her.

wades through the shallow parts of the water. just because kiri likes to stay in the sand doesn’t mean she hates the water altogether. it’s quite the opposite actually. she’s very fond of dragging her feet through the water with you hand-in-hand, watching tiny fish swim by. occasionally, she’ll pull you close if she recognizes a fish and tells you all about it, and everytime she does, you can’t hold back a smile. she’s really in her element.

(masterlist)

[clones-cyare]

Self care Sunday

Pairing: TupxGN!reader

Warnings: none

A/N hello everyone!! This is my first time posting my stories on tumblr and I hope you enjoy!!! I had so much fun writing this and I can’t wait to write more!! Enjoy!!

Divider from @vodika-vibes

The 501st was on shore leave on Coruscant for the next two weeks. You were overjoyed because your boyfriend, Tup, was Planet-side. You received an invitation to join Tup and his brothers for game night at their barracks. And of course you said yes, you got to spend time with your beloved and his brothers. So that’s how you found yourself curled up next to Tup with sabacc cards in your hand in the 501st barracks. You were all pretty drunk but you were in for a night of games and brotherly fun.

A collected group of groans sounded from the group of boys as Captain Rex placed down his winning cards.

“You have to be cheating!” Fives exclaims frustratedly.

“You’re just upset you lost all your credits two rounds in” Kix points out, with a roll of his eyes.

“It’s not my fault you’re a sore loser Fives” the captain says, a shit-eating grin adorned his face as he reached out to collect his credits. And that’s when the group erupted into bickering.

You let out a sigh of content as you snuggled closer into Tup’s side as the brothers broke into yelling and accusations. You felt Tup chuckle next to you and you looked up to see auburn brown eyes staring back. Tup had let his hair out so his curls framed his face angelically. You stared at him for what seemed like forever until you tore your gaze back to watch the chaos unfold. 

A small tap on your shoulder distracted you though as you looked back at your lover. Tup jerked his head lightly towards the refresher and you immediately knew what he meant. You nodded back and sat up. 

The two of you waited until it was a full on brawl so they were all distracted before you snuck towards the back. Within seconds, you were inside the refresher with the door sliding shut behind you.

“I’ll get the products, you get the robes” you instruct, movie to a cupboard on the wall. Tup gives a nod before moving to do his own thing. After a minute, you have robes, face masks, cucumbers, skincare and hair masks laid out with a diffuser sitting to the side.  

You both slip into the fluffy robe and she let out a small sigh at feeling the soft fabric against your skin. Tup walks over and holds up the hair mask, turning you around so he could be ever the gentleman and put it in your hair. 

You heard the squirt of the product and then felt Tup run his soft hands in your hair, being so careful, like he thought you were glass. You make a noise of content and he massages it into your skull and your knees feel weak at the feeling. 

Ever too quickly, he detangles his hands from your hair and settles it into a bun stop your head. You smile and turn to your adorable boyfriend before taking the hair mask in your hand and getting to work on his hair. 

His hair was soft as ever and you felt a bit of jealously at how gorgeous his locks were. You worked the mask into his hair and hear Tup let out a small sigh of content. You stifle a laugh at the cute noise and continue to massage his head before finishing up. 

You pull your hands away and before he can stop himself, Tup lets out a small whine from the loss of contact. This makes you giggle as you bend down to pick up the fancy packaging of the face masks. 

Handing one to Tup, you tear open the packet and take the gooey face mask into your hands. You quickly unfold it and settle the cold paper against your skin. Immediately, relaxation and refreshment wash over you and you crack another smile. You loved have self care days with the love of your life; as rare as they are. 

Settling yourself on the ground, leaning against the metal wall, you pick up two slices cucumbers and settle them on your eyes before leaning your head against the cool barrier. A hand crawls into your lap, lacing its fingers with yours and you grin, squeezing Tup’s hand.

With a deep inhale, you breathe in the flowery scent from the diffuser, trying to figure out what exactly is the scent. Maybe meiloorons mixed with an alderaanian flam rose? Or perhaps some barelia flowers combined with spine barrel. You couldn’t tell but whatever it was, you loved it. 

A mix of voices broke you out of your trance as they approached the door.

“What do you think they’re doing in there?”

“Maybe they’re-“

“Shut it, Hardcase!”

“Tup’s too innocent for that” 

“Just shush!”

The voices come to a stop as you feel a few presence outside the door. With a small click, the door swishes open and move your head, causing the cucumbers to tumble down your face. You feel Tup do the same and you both come to look at Tup’s brothers’ staring at you with wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” 

“What’s that on your face?”

“What the kriff is going on?”

“It smells nice”

The voices overlap eachother and before you can stop yourself, you let out a small giggle at the shock on the boys’ faces, having never experienced a self care day.

“It’s self care” you explain, “it helps your hair and skin. It’s also meant to relax you.”

Fives lets out a little ‘ohhh’ as the others nod along, still a little confused. 

Tup sighs and shakes his head before resting his head back against the wall.

“Can I have some!” 

“I wanna try” 

“Is there a robe for me?”

“Shove over”

And yeah, the fighting continued. But if you were honest, you wouldn’t change it for anything. 

Giving Tup’s hand a quick squeeze, you lean your head on his shoulder and watch the brotherly banter.

Yeah, you can’t wait for the next self care day.

[mammutblog]

may we see your cats?

this is shatang (granulated sugar) he is the oldest! he's very kind and lets all the other kitties eat first. he will see you all the way down the driveway and run over to say hi and walk you home, true gentleman

wandou (peas) joined the family shortly after she is the calico and shatang’s best friend our problematic second child🥰 she is very gap moe she seems super meek and shy and then she dumps a live fish on your porch she got from the river

my mom was followed by little huasheng (peanut) at her workplace and brought her home she’s our new calico (a perfect mix of shatang and wandou??) she loves sitting in laps and making friends left and right she is the extrovert to wandou's social anxiety

huanggua (cucumber) is our newest rescue, brought to us by peanut? she was like hello i found him on the street he needs help and we had no choice. i made the uquiz before he joined us so thetas why he’s not in it! he made it through a jaw surgery and he just finished regrowing a beautiful new coat he’s a little shy but very hansom

and finally here’s my cat mugua (papaya). he is the biggest cat i have ever seen and he loves to lie down. unlike the rest of the gang he is 100% kittypet material. he’s currently in cone jail because he is so silly and kicked his own eye by accident

[s1qhed]

My Richie Headcanons ||

Just a warning that this is incredibly indulgent, IYKYK~ Full of fluff, angst, smut… These aren’t in any particular order!

Richie promises that he’ll stop smoking every other week, and commits to it for about 3 days, boasting about “how easy it was”, and then is subsequently caught burning multiple away anxiously around the corner behind the restaurant.

He only purchased his gun after he and Tiff found out that she was pregnant with Eva. He took a few classes to learn how to responsibly handle it, but he’s never actually had to fire it. He still pretends to be hard by waving it around (like in s1e1) keeping it tucked in his waistband on occasion. (Leave it to Richie to be a cornball 🙄)

His apartment is a lot tidier than one would expect. “Everything has a home” he would explain. He needs to keep himself and his space clean or he feels like crap.

Richie has an incredibly soft spot for Sugar (and any other woman, tbh). He witnessed Carmy and Michael being mean to her often when they were kids, and he also saw his father being abusive toward his mother. As a result he is ADAMANT about being gentle with women. One time when they were teenagers Mikey called Sugar a bitch, and Richie got into a fistfight with him.

Furthering this, he’s always been a gentleman, even when he was previously sloppy and abrasive. He’s the kind of guy to open a door for you, buy your favorite snacks (remember when he offered to get Sug a sprite when he found out she was pregnant? 🥹), avoid smoking near you, and politely touch the small of your back as he passes. He saves his assholeish, tough-guy persona for other men in his life.

He would definitely talk to you in a faux sympathetic tone while he’s making you melt in his arms during sex, though.

He also can’t help but use pet names. His favorites are doll-face, sweetheart, princess…

Richie used to fall asleep at work, a lot. Standing up at the counter with his head down, sitting on a bench leaned back against the lockers… Tina and Mikey eventually started to stack shit on top of him- bread, cucumber slices. Sometimes there would be a dick drawn on his cheek. He stopped doing it after he woke up with a bra taped onto his chest and a mop on top of his head (which Mikey came up with, of course).

He refuses to take the train after he saw some cracked out guy pissing all over the floor. Carmy always bitches at him about how “that literally never happens” which Richie fires back with, “but it DID.”

He LOVESSSS movies. Whenever he has Eva for the weekend he tries to get her to watch stuff like Total Recall, Terminator, Bladerunner (not before saying “don’t tell your mother”). Eva obviously doesn’t care and they end up watching Barbie movies instead.

He is a REALLY loud drunk, duh. If you thought he was at 100 sober, you would be incorrect. He will go on rants about the stupidest shit, like how “Batman could beat any other FUCKING superhero if he had enough time to prepare, dipshit!”

Sometimes he, Tina, and Ebraheim will go out for drinks together after work. He sometimes orders a girly (“frou-frou” as Ebra calls it) cocktail. They all keep his secret though.

He’s a very handsy person. Hands on the small of his woman’s back, shoulder pats, hand holds and bear hugs, thigh squeezes when you’re sat beside him. Physical touch is his love language. He would absolutely touch your leg with a single toe from the opposite side of the room while you two spent quiet time together.

He remembers everything. It’s what makes him such an incredible server, but sometimes it’s to an annoying degree. He would whine about how “we haven’t watched a movie together in 10 days” and he would argue that “it has definitely been 10 days because I remember that we watched ___ on ___ which was 10 days ago—“

(This one’s gonna hurt) Richie visits Mikey’s grave, often. Once a week, sometimes more. He occasionally will leave a cigarette for him, sometimes he’ll talk to him, sometimes he won’t. Richie typically can’t even pass the part of town where Mikey died, or where he now rests, without becoming incredibly upset.

[k-liight]

some random Mojo Jojo headcanons because I've been brainrotting over him so much lately

he's very well-groomed and takes good care of his hygiene- probably uses the fanciest fucking shampoo to make his fur nice and soft, keeps his hands moisturized (the gloves prevent him from getting them dirty), hell maybe he even uses those face masks with the cucumbers over his eyes and everything LOL

at the same time though he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty if it means his work comes out better- sometimes if he's working on something in minute detail he'll take the gloves off so he gets things more precise

he'll never admit this but he enjoys dressing up and donning disguises whenever the situation calls for it. he's a fashionable monke

sometimes he has to be forced to have fun because he's usually so focused on his work that he feels he doesn't have enough time to let loose. he can be a bit of a stick-in-the-mud sometimes even if he denies it

at the same time though being evil kinda is his idea of fun which like... yes but also no. he gets so stressed out by constantly trying to keep up with the Puffs somebody help him-

on a related note, he's a good dancer but it's not exactly something he brags about often

and if he lets himself, he will kill it at karaoke

his passion is so strong that he never half-asses anything he does, he always puts his heart and soul into it even if he doesn't really want to do the thing LOL he always has to flex at every opportunity

he isn't aware of his tendency to repeat himself/paraphrase the same thing he just said- he is, however, fully aware of the fact that he overexplains everything and, as shown in Mo'Linguish, considers such speech more proper and eloquent than simple sentences where one could more easily be misunderstood or misheard

he actually is a good chef and skilled at the hibachi- he just doesn't make the kind of food that children typically enjoy (hence why the Puffs didn't care for the fish and shrimp he cooked for them LOL)

I like to think that, because he got to be the way he is due to the same Chemical X-plosion (haha) that created the Puffs, he can occasionally gain some of their same powers- most notably flight- but he can't control it as it only happens when he really loses his temper and flies into a fit of rage. this would explain how he suddenly appears able to fly and punch the shit outta a giant alien robot in Forced Kin lmao

however, he's already stronger than he looks even without any sudden effects of Chemical X; he can easily lift things that are more than even his own weight

personally I like to think he's more built than the cartoon lets on- he's not insanely ripped of course but like, I feel his legs would be a bit thicker than they're drawn to be (I know he's meant to have an exaggerated top-heavy design but shush) and if you squeezed his arm you'd feel some pretty solid muscles under all that fur. this monke is fit

this is something else he'll never admit but he loooooooves being complimented. tell him how good he is at his villainy and mans is just glowing

he enjoys classical music but he also likes oldies crooners (think Frank Sinatra or Harry Belafonte) and early rock n' roll from the 50s. he's not entirely sure why he enjoys the likes of Elvis Presley or Chuck Berry but he just does

he likes to take things apart just to see how they work. he's a naturally curious chimp, okay?

despite his villainous nature, Mojo Jojo is, if you can believe it, a gentleman at heart- if you get on his good side and treat him with basic respect he will repay you and then some

[book--brackets]

Summaries under the cut

The Music of Dolphins by Karen Hesse

Mila creates headlines around the world when she is rescued from an unpopulated island off the coast of Florida. Now a teenager, she has been raised by dolphins from the age of four.

Researchers teach Mila language and music. She learns, too, about rules and expectations, about locked doors and broken promies, disappointment and betrayal.

But the more Mila finds out what it means to be human, the more deeply she longs for her ocean home.

Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat by Lynne Jonell

Emmy was a good girl. At least she tried very hard to be good. She did her homework without being told. She ate all her vegetables, even the slimy ones. And she never talked back to her nanny, Miss Barmy, although it was almost impossible to keep quiet, some days.

She really was a little too good. Which is why she liked to sit by the Rat. The Rat was not good at all . . .

Gideon the Cutpurse by Linda Buckley-Archer

1763.

Gideon Seymour, cutpurse and gentleman, hides from the villainous Tar Man. Suddenly the sky peels away like fabric and from the gaping hole fall two curious-looking children. Peter Schock and Kate Dyer have fallen straight from the twenty-first century, thanks to an experiment with an antigravity machine. Before Gideon and the children have a chance to gather their wits, the Tar Man takes off with the machine -- and Kate and Peter's only chance of getting home. Soon Gideon, Kate, and Peter are swept into a journey through eighteenth-century London and form a bond that, they hope, will stand strong in the face of unfathomable treachery.

Dragonbreath by Ursula Vernon

It's not easy for Danny Dragonbreath to be the sole mythical creature in a school for reptiles and amphibians -- especially because he can't breathe fire like other dragons (as the school bully loves to remind him). But having a unique family comes in handy sometimes, like when his sea-serpent cousin takes Danny and his best iguana friend on a mindboggling underwater tour, complete with vomiting sea cucumbers and giant squid. It sure beats reading the encyclopedia to research his ocean report . . .

Undertow by Michael Buckley

Sixteen-year-old Lyric Walker’s life is forever changed when she witnesses the arrival of 30,000 Alpha, a five-nation race of ocean-dwelling warriors, on her beach in Coney Island. The world’s initial wonder and awe over the Alpha quickly turns ugly and paranoid and violent, and Lyric’s small town transforms into a military zone with humans on one side and Alpha on the other. When Lyric is recruited to help the crown prince, a boy named Fathom, assimilate, she begins to fall for him. But their love is a dangerous one, and there are forces on both sides working to keep them apart. Only, what if the Alpha are not actually the enemy? What if they are in fact humanity’s only hope of survival? Because the real enemy is coming. And it’s more terrifying than anything the world has ever seen.

Poison by Chris Wooding

Poison has always been a willful, contrary girl, prone to being argumentative and stubborn. So when her sister is snatched by the mean-spirited faeries, she seeks out the Phaerie Lord to get her back.

But finding him isn't easy, and the quest leads Poison into a murderous world of intrigue, danger, and deadly storytelling. With only her wits and her friends to aid her, Poison must survive the attentions of the Phaerie Lord, rescue her sister, and thwart a plot that's beyond anything she (or the reader) can imagine. . . .

Kiki Strike by Kirsten Miller

Life will never be the same for Ananka Fishbein after she ventures into an enormous sinkhole near her New York City apartment. A million rats, delinquent Girl Scouts out for revenge, and a secret city below the streets of Manhattan combine in this remarkable novel about a darker side of New York City you have only just begun to know about…

Willa by Robert Beatty

Move without a sound. Steal without a trace.

Willa, a young night-spirit, is her clan's best thief. She creeps into the cabins of the day-folk under cover of darkness and takes what they won't miss. It's dangerous work--the day-folk kill whatever they don't understand--but Willa will do anything to win the approval of the padaran, the charismatic leader of the Faeran people.

When Willa's curiosity leaves her hurt and stranded in the day-folk world, she calls upon the old powers of her beloved grandmother, and the unbreakable bonds of her forest allies, to escape. Only then does she begin to discover the shocking truth: that not all of her day-folk enemies are the same, and that the foundations of her own Faeran society are crumbling. What do you do when you realize that the society you were born and raised in is rife with evil? Do you raise your voice? Do you stand up against it?

As forces of unfathomable destruction encroach on her forest home, Willa must decide who she truly is, facing deadly force with the warmest compassion, sinister corruption with trusted alliance, and finding a home for her longing heart.

Sammy Keyes by Wendelin Van Draanen

Grams always told her those binoculars would get her into trouble. Now Sammy's witnessed a crime at the Heavenly Hotel-a light fingered thief stealing $4,000 from Madame Nashira, the astrologer with the fire-hazard hair-do. Thing is, while she was watching him, he was watching her, too...

First Light by Rebecca Stead

Peter is thrilled to join his parents on an expedition to Greenland, where his father studies global warming. Peter will get to skip school, drive a dogsled, and finally share in his dad's adventures. But on the ice cap, Peter struggles to understand a series of visions that both frighten and entice him. Thea has never seen the sun. Her extraordinary people, suspected of witchcraft and nearly driven to extinction, have retreated to a secret world they've built deep inside the arctic ice. As Thea dreams of a path to Earth's surface, Peter's search for answers brings him ever closer to her hidden home.

[maddies-writings]

Father/Benedict Uno x Reader Headcanons

He was one of my cartoon crushes as a kid. I was so excited when this guy came on screen. His powers are epic and his voice is wonderful. Anyways, never seen anyone do anything for this guy so… here you go. I did my best to keep this gender neutral.

Ok so let’s get this out of the way, I do not think this guy is smooth at all. You’ve seen what he looks like without his shadow suit, right? That is a guy who got swirlies as a kid, was shoved in lockers, and stuffed in trash cans. Not to mention, as an adult, I doubt he lets anyone get close. So assuming he actually does develop a crush on someone, I guarantee he just word vomits all the time.

As mysterious and cool as his shadowy appearance is, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t a virgin. No shame in that, he just doesn’t strike me as someone who’s cashed in the V card.

I feel like his shadow suit gives him confidence. It’s like a shield, he feels powerful and he’s harder to read with most of his features hidden. So as much as he can stutter and blush while he’s got that on, without it, he can barely form a coherent sentence around you.

Seeing as how he can barely speak around you, I feel like his love language is gifts and quality time. You’ve seen his mansion, he loves spoiling you with gifts. He’s got the money for it. Also, if he’s willing to put his plans on hold to bake with you? That’s when you know he’s in love. Baking fulfills the gift-giving and quality time love languages so that’s his favorite ‘couple’ activity.

I feel like if he wants to be, he can be a gentleman. Kissing your hand, opening the door for you and other classic displays of affection are common for him. He then of course lets the door slam in the next person’s face but that’s neither here nor there.

Ben does seem like a PTA mom but it would be even better if YOU were the PTA mom. Come home and Ben has a sweet treat and a few glasses of wine ready for you to dish about all the gossip.

For the love of god get this man some moisturizer. With his powers, his skin is probably super dry and I'm pretty sure the only thing that's been on his face is water, maybe soap. Not even facial soap, like, hand soap.

It would take some work and nagging but once he sees how his skin is soft and glowing he is all of a sudden asking for a full routine. Couples day of beauty, face masks, matching fluffy robes, and cucumber slices over the eyes.

As much of a perfectionist as he is, Ben is so amazed by you that he thinks you look amazing even in old sweatpants and unwashed hair. "I look like a homeless man." "You're the prettiest homeless man I've ever seen." "..." "That sounded smoother in my head." "*giggles* It was cute."

[444takeomi]

BOYFRIEND HCS pt 3

: ̗̀➛ summary: takeomi as your boyfriend

character(s): takeomi akashi

warnings: female reader, sfw but still suggestive, mentions of smoking, ooc (i know he's a piece of shit but let me live in denial)

wc: 0.8k

a/n: literally everyone hates him so this post will definitely flop💀 apologies for being so inactive, i’ve been super busy these past few weeks — i wanted to write something for shin's birthday but i just didn't have the time😭

- i feel like omi is the kind of boyfriend who acts like he doesn't care but is secretly very soft for you

- he won't admit it but he has a hard time expressing his feelings — you fell for him first but he fell way harder, and he wishes he could tell you how much you mean to him </3

- he's the type to tell you that he loves you when he thinks you're asleep, and if he's sure that you're out cold he'll gently kiss your forehead as well

- the first time you told him you loved him he cried </3

- i think that omi is secretly a very insecure person, and deep down he feels like he's undeserving of love and thinks you're too good for him

- gets self conscious about his scar sometimes — he loves when you randomly kiss it and tell him that he's handsome, it makes him feel all warm inside <3

- for dates he usually takes you out to expensive restaurants, but sometimes you'll do something more casual like going to art galleries or museums or going shopping together

- every time you walk through crowds he puts his hand on your waist or lower back

- whenever you go on a date he always insists on paying for everything, he loves to spoil you <3

- omi’s love language is definitely gift giving, and he’s often buying you expensive presents — whether that's perfume, jewellery, or whatever it is that you're into

- he always seems to know exactly what to get you, you don't notice it but he pays very close attention to you while you're shopping together and takes note of what you like

- omi is surprisingly a huge gentleman — he always opens your car door for you, carries your bags, offers his coat to you when it's cold, etc

- whenever you have an argument he buys your favourite flowers as an apology </3

- sometimes he has trouble sleeping, but if you run your fingers through his hair he'll be out like a light

- he randomly wakes up in the night and starts coughing up a lung💀 if you're not a heavy sleeper then good luck

- it's no secret that he smokes way too much, please encourage him to quit or at least cut down — he won't listen to anyone but you

- if you don't smoke yourself then omi will always make an effort to put out his cigarettes whenever you're around, or at the very least blow the smoke away from your direction

- you're the only one who he will let poke fun at him because of his habit, you sometimes joke that you won't kiss him anymore if he carries on smoking because of his stale cigarette breath, and he just rolls his eyes at you and fights back a smile

- he would rather die than admit it but he still gets butterflies when you tease him </3

- he's got such a loud sneeze and it always scares the shit out of you, it's a whole jumpscare💀

- i feel like he has very stiff shoulders, sometimes he asks you to massage them for him — the only problem is he can't control the groans and praises that fall past his lips, and if anyone were to overhear him they would definitely think that something else was going on💀

- “fuck, that's it, baby… feels so fuckin’ good…”

- anyways😶

- sometimes you do skincare together, and omi would be lying if he said he understood any of it — he gets so confused when you put cucumber slices on his eyes or use a jade roller on him

- he does love the feeling of you applying different products to his face though, you're always so gentle with him <3

- omi loves to take bubble baths with you and just hold you in his arms, sometimes he goes all out with candles and rose petals, it's very romantic

- it rarely leads to anything more, sometimes he just needs to hold your body against his </3

- he's actually super protective over you, whenever you're out in public together and he notices someone else looking you up and down he gets all possessive, instinctively putting his arm around you and glaring at them

- there have been times where he's gotten into fights because someone wouldn't leave you alone at a bar, but that usually only happens when he's drunk

- speaking of which, drunk omi gets very emotional most of the time and will whisper slurred professions of his love in your ear, telling you how he doesn’t know what he did to deserve you and how lucky he is to have you </3

- he’s not always the best at showing it but omi loves you so so much, he truly thinks you're one of the best things to happen to him and he can't believe he actually gets to call you his <3

please do not translate, repost, or share my writing on any other platforms eg. tiktok

[nikethestatue]

When people say that Elain was dumb and infantile and didn't grow vegetables, then I suppose the question is--why didn't Feyre give her seeds/saplings for some cucumbers or something and told her, hey, can you try to grow this?

Like, Elain didn't have money. It was in Feyre's hands.

Furthermore, let's compare how the Archeron sisters grew up to...say, the Bennett sisters. Only the Archerons were massively more well-off than the Bennett sisters. They grew up in a mansion, with a ton of servants.

Do you think that Lizzie Bennett would've known how to grow potatoes? Or wheat to make bread? No. She wouldn't. That was for the peasants and the servants. Girls of good breeding learned how to play the fortepiano, sing, and dance, and maybe run the household. Though that was usually the head butler and the husband who signed off on the purchases.

Even if we take someone like Jane Eyre, who was NOT wealthy and who grew up in an orphanage, but was educated enough to be a governess at a wealthy gentleman's house. Jane wasn't planting zucchini. Jane wasn't cooking soup, or doing laundry, or cleaning chimneys. Her job was that of a governess and she was not a servant.

Think Downton Abbey--you think Lady Mary was expected to know how to plough or grow cabbages? She couldn't even dress herself without her maid.

If we are trying to be even marginally realistic about the world that SJM created (badly, I might add) then let's be real. Elain wouldn't have known how to do much of anything. But even if she tried and if Feyre gave her some seeds or whatever, the chances of a family of 4 surviving on 2 heads of cabbage are kind of slim. Because one other thing that planting needs is at least a small plot of land. And it sounds like they didn't have any.