#💚🥒

[kiwiplaetzchen]

If you won't rub the cucumber, would you at least give it a good pat? It tried it's best today.

Just like you, my sweet Anon! 😌💚

[fictionkinfessions]

For the canon tunes ask, to no one's surprise! I used to (and still do) listen to a lot of Vocaloid & Hatsune Miku pre transmigration, specifically Triple Baka which will ALWAYS speak to my soul.

─ Shen Qingqiu / Shen Yuan in this case lol. #💚🥒

x

[mxtxkinfessions]

Nevermind, I've embarrassed myself by being too impatient & ultimately too emotionally honest TWICE via longing confessions or whatever. Is it too late to get pickle jar'd?

─ Shen Qingqiu. 💚🥒

😔

[spicycinnabun]

another ficlet from the same verse as i’m sorry, christofern 🪴

~

Eddie unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. He couldn’t breathe. The waiter was sneering down at him—at his piercings, tattoos, fingernails blackened with polish and chipping. He didn’t belong at this fine establishment, and it was noticeable to everyone.

The piano man was going to town playing a Beethoven Sonata near their table, and Eddie was this close to shoving him off the bench and showing him how to play some real fucking music.

But Steve was also sitting across from him, looking suave with his hair combed back like an old Hollywood movie star. He was beaming at Eddie, and Eddie was helpless to it.

Even if the menu was giving him a goddamn heart attack, and he was trying not to keel over behind it as Steve ordered the lobster bisque—to start.

Eddie ordered the garden salad.

Steve gave him a weird look. “You sure that's what you want? I thought you didn't like salad.”

“I’m sure,” Eddie said. The salad wouldn't demolish his wallet like any of the things that actually sounded good. “I’m turning over a new leaf. Eating healthier.”

“Uh-huh. You’re already as skinny as a string bean. I don't think you need to eat healthier. You probably need to eat more."

“No can do. I’ve become a slut for vegetables.” Eddie grinned. It was maniacal. “Can't resist a big, juicy cucumber in my mouth.”

The waiter left, looking deeply disturbed, and Steve kicked him under the table, blushing. “Eddie! Jesus.”

“What? Can't a man freely express his joy for deepthroating gourds?”

Steve choked on his water, putting the glass down hastily as he coughed. “You’re such a…” He didn't finish that sentence, but Eddie could fill in the blank.

💚🌱🌿💚

Their first course came, and Eddie pretended to like his salad.

“Yeah, you really look like you're into that,” Steve said, stirring his soup.

Eddie swallowed hard. “It’s absolutely succulent, Steven, thank you.”

He absolutely hated it. The slimy vinaigrette, too.

“Oh, man. Look at that string of pearls,” Steve said, letting it go as he pointed over Eddie’s shoulder. “I’d like one of those.”

Usually, Eddie was the one lacking manners. “Kinda rude to point at people, baby.”

Also, pearls? Eddie was going to be in the red right after this dinner. He hoped Steve wasn’t expecting those any time soon.

Steve laughed, dropping his hand on the table. “No, I’m not. Look.”

Eddie turned in his chair, then groaned in realization when he saw what was hanging from the ceiling.

Steve wasn’t pointing at some woman wearing a pearl necklace. He was geeking out over a fucking plant. Even in public, he was a devoted plant daddy.

“We can get you one of those,” Eddie told him. Steve wanted a pearl plant? Done.

Steve leaned back in his seat, assessing him with his warm brown gaze. Eddie tried not to squirm. “What?”

“You don't like it here.”

Eddie balked. “I like it fine—” he started, then deflated a little under Steve’s skeptical eyebrow quirk. “Okay, I don't like it here. But you do, right?”

“It actually kinda reminds me of my parents.” Steve’s nose wrinkled. “I just wanted to have a good time with you and treat you to something special, but it backfired on me.”

Oh. Hell.

“Hey, it didn't backfire, sweetheart,” Eddie told him, voice low. His hand twitched. He wanted to reach across the table for Steve’s but knew he couldn’t—especially not here. Here, they were no more than friends.

“You wanna ditch and go get a pizza?” Steve asked, nails scratching along the crisp white tablecloth like he was thinking the same thing. “We can catch the next creature feature at the drive-in. Eat on the hood of my car?”

Eddie sighed, feeling his entire self relax. “Oh fuck yes, please. Let’s go.”

They grinned at each other and got up, slinging on their coats. They paid for their half-eaten meals. Neither of them tipped the snooty waiter.

Steve caught his hand in the parking lot as they walked to his car. It was risky, but the walk was less than a minute. They linked fingers.

[citronlad]

Phos ☺️🦋🤍💚🕊️🦠

[meliilem]

EVERYTHING GREEN REMINDS ME OF HER

[queen-mabs-revenge]

i just spent 4 squids on a pickle bc i miss real pickles so bad 😔

[dwter]

[kiwiplaetzchen]

*offers Bobby a salad*

🍆🥒🥕

🥬🥬🥬

*topped with*

🥜🥜🥜

Bobby never says no to a good nut dressing. Bobby likes it creamy after all. 😏🥜👌

But Bobby is overjoyed with your offering and wrote something for you in return, dear Legume Anon. 💚💕

Roses are red,

your eye will be blue,

unless you allow me

to place Deez nuts nside you.

[jhuliaaaaa]

Confira

[mxtxkinfessions]

I had posted about this somewhere else but I have a sneaking suspicion it got eaten via tumblr, truly unfortunate. This won't be as heart.... soulful..... something or other, whatever, as it was when I wrote it half asleep a few days ago but I feel as though it needs to be said (again) because I keep missing them (again).

I miss you my disciples, I miss you Yingying, I miss you Ming Fan. It sort of broke my heart to come across a Ming Fan that had felt unwanted, y'know, as though the only one that mattered was Luo Binghe which might be true for some versions of me but that simply isn't the case for me personally. I dearly miss my disciples, I dearly miss the Peak Lords, some more than others as is the way feeling based memories go because I have such a difficult time with memories... it does make me a bit insecure but that's for another time.

I do miss you Liu Qingge, you were my best friend and I still deeply care for you (and greatly miss having you around to tease!). I do miss Yue Qingyuan, even if we weren't necessarily close, it's something that's difficult and ultimately I'll forever feel guilty we never really got to talk or that I was able to openly admit and apologize to you even if it wasn't my fault. It was just messy, but still, you are kind and I appreciate that deeply. I miss Mu Qingfan and Qi Qingqi (I just know we'd get on like a house on fire still!) even if I don't really have feelings or memories, I miss you and the others nonetheless.

Airplane, does it even really need to be said dude lol. I miss bullying you, you hamster fuck. 🙄 and yes this is my affection!!!!!

And Luo Binghe, does it even need to be said? My heart will always go out to every Binghe, Bingmei or Bingge. I've talked about this before but especially Bingge. I don't understand how anyone could possibly hate you, it will never cease to make me angry. To have to pick and choose, it breaks my heart, I can't stand it. So know that all Luo Binghe's out there are loved and cared for, forever. You will always have someone cheering you on quietly!

I miss all of you. Know there is a Shizun and a Shixiong / Shidi that does miss you all dearly to an EMBARRASSING DEGREE because I HAD to write this all out again for some fucking reason but hey it is what it is. I think of you all constantly at the cost of bittersweet longing but I have mastered the art of longing. This shit is nothing to me man!

Anyways. I needed to get this out AGAIN apparently. The alternative is sitting here and letting it rattle around in the fucking echo chamber of my mind. Which ordinarily I'm fine with doing but.... augh I don't know. But this has gone on long enough my rant essay is over now LOL.

─ Shen Qingqiu / Yuan. (here i'll give myself some goofy ass emoji because chances are I'll write here again like I did before so💚🥒)

💕

[pjackk]

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[en-chi-la-da]

basically i'm checking to see who likes pickles and who doesn't 💚🥒 (<- pretend that is a pickle thanks)

[goldtealeaves]

💚💚💚|💚🥒💚|💚💚💚

pickle stimboard with soap cutting/crushing for @picklewednesday !! :D

[squishysoftmonsters]

Triggers : Random Horny Plant stuff [No minors or ageless. Mature +18]

💚I'm just going through a plant phase y'all. There's very little forest creature content on the monster tags. And believe me,getting plowed by some smooth branches that resemble mushroom head cocks with an aphrodisiac or something to make you sleepy,happy or numb instead of come,my holes are open for the trunk thump..🥒

Imagine innards being rearranged like checkers to make room for these things.

Or a civilization of adorable little elves and faeries with a humanoid trans swamp monster as their Overlord or something.💚

[paintedperiwinkle]

plant dashboard simulator

🍁 nevergreen Following

when are we gonna talk about the superiority complex that evergreens have just because they don’t go dormant

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!

🌳 oakspoke Follow

um it’s quite literally the opposite actually?? evergreens are always ostracized because they don’t turn colors in autumn

🍁 nevergreen Following

found the evergreen apologist

#evergreens if i see u on this post ur getting blocked immediately

25,398 notes

🍌 fruitsalad Follow

just a reminder that imported produce take away from the desirability of locally grown produce!

🍓 berrysweet Following

what the fuck??

🥥 tropical-chill Follow

op i’m outside your house with a weedwhacker

#tw discourse #tw idiocy

36,294 notes

🥕 carrottop-deactivated10022023

demeaning crops who weren’t sowed with higher quality soil and fertilizer is elitist btw!

🍒 redandjuicy Following

literally who is doing that

🪴 homegrown Follow

flop post i fear

🍂 autumnbreeze Follow

bro deleted his whole account 💀

97,173 notes

🥀 wiltedbeauty Following

can we PLEASE talk about the pretty privilege of garden flowers?? weeds and wildflowers are always cast out just bc we aren’t “aesthetic”

🪻 violet-and-violent Following

and the most stuck up ones are ALWAYS roses and sunflowers

🥀 wiltedbeauty Following

YOU GET IT!!!

5,746 notes

🌻 de-flowered Follow

just got pollenated for the first time…

🌳 oakspoke Follow

some things can stay in the drafts op

🌷 pinkandpretty Following

don’t listen to them you go girl!

5,229 notes

🪴 homegrown Follow

dni if you think that kudzu shouldn’t be held accountable for the damage it’s done to native flora communities

🍌 fruitsalad Follow

op they aren’t gonna like this one…

🍁 nevergreen Following

your ass is always at the scene of the crime huh

57,385 notes

🍄 not-a-fun-guy Follow

do you guys ever feel like you don’t belong

0 notes

🌵 aloesoft Following

gentle reminder that the terms succulent and cacti are not interchangeable!! all cacti are succulents but not all succulents are cacti! it can be offensive to some of us to use them incorrectly!

🍓 berrysweet Following

reblogging so more people see this

#important

3,385 notes

🍃 soil-lover Following

all lawns are beautiful!! lawns with weeds! lawns with sparse grass and dirt patches! clover lawns! overgrown lawns! you are all beautiful!

🍂 autumnbreeze Follow

one of these things is not like the others…

🌾 gonewiththewind Follow

the real issue is that “lawns” exist in the first place. what happened to wide open fields?

🍃 soil-lover Following

can you make your own fucking post

17,220 notes

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

vegetables that can be grown throughout multiple seasons i love you <3

🥒 cute-cumber Follow

so just fuck single season veggies then huh?

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

that is literally not what i said. but now i am. fuck you

#??? #are you stupid on purpose or

6,383 notes

🪷 hightide Following

some of you guys need to start including aquatic plants in your advocacy. we are the most overlooked plant group

🌵 aloesoft Following

THIS!!!!

🪷 hightide Following

why are you the only one who understands me

#aquatic plants 🤝 desert plants

104 notes

🌿 fabulousfern Follow

no offense but indoor plants will literally never understand what wild plants go through

🎍 bamboozled Follow

you want a medal or something?? as a wild plant myself we’re not somehow better than them because we don’t need humans to take care of us. they didn’t ask to be born house plants

🌿 fabulousfern Follow

kiss ass

#did they pick you? #i hope they see this bro

9,385 notes

🍀 luckyday Following

shoutout to all of the big trees that share their nutrients with us little guys down here!! we love you!! 💚

11 notes

🌳 oakspoke Follow

no one tell the climbing plants but it makes me feel a bit claustrophobic when they grow up all over me

🌲 suburban-spruce Follow

HELP i thought i was the only one 😭

🍁 nevergreen Following

oh that’s not…

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

it’s not too late to delete this…

🍇 leavesfromthevine Following

like literally wtf???

#sorry that not all of us have a fucking trellis to grow on?? #we literally can not help how we grow??? #yall pretend to care about plants different from you but then post shit like this #did u think no one would see this? be honest #pathetic

62,590 notes