#a friend said i could change their houses myself but idk how

[dreamyberry]

Someone told me you’re never gonna be 100% happy anyway. So what are we here for? Heartbreaks and paying the rent and distracting yourself with hobbies 2 hours a week to forget you’d rather be d3ad?

[pyramid-of-starrs]

hongjoong getting at us mad because we hung out with a different kpop boy group nsfw ?😭idk it came to me because of how atinys make the joke of hongjoong hating how we stan other groups-

Only look at me

Jealous mean Dom Hongjoong x Afab reader

Summary: You get caught by Hongjoong coming back to your home from a late night concert and he has to remind you who's fan you're supposed to be.

Genre: Angst and Smut

Warnings: Acts of possessiveness, begging, kinda toxic but like not really lol

Smut warnings: Rough sex, use of sex toys, oral sex (M recieving), gagging, choking, friends with benefits, mentions of punishment, punishment sex, use of consentual force (Y/N have a preestablished agreement), Mean dom Hongjoong, slapping, cum eating, throat fucking, condom sex, Sir kink??, pain kink??, Humilitation??, Degrading??

A/N: Idk what it is about Hongjoong but like, every fic I write about him he's getting his dick sucked, idk he just deserves that.

Minors dni

You walked into your loft around 3 am, you dropped your clear tote bag, and took off your shoes, the living room was dark, you turned on the light and were startled to see your best friend Hongjoong sitting on your couch with his leg folded over the other and his arms crossed.

"Jesus fucking Christ Hongjoong you scared the hell out of me, why are you just sitting in my house in the damn dark?!" You yelled, still shaken up while holding your fast-beating chest.

"You're coming home late." was all he replied, you didn't ask why he was here again because Hongjoong often randomly appeared at your house every since he got the spare key in case of emergencies.

"Yeah, I was out with my friends."

"Doing what?" He tilted his head slightly. "I'm your friend, your best friend to be exact, why didn't I know about this friend outing?"

"Uh- well, ya know it was... um... preplanned." You scratched your head then tried to slyly slide your clear tote bag behind you.

"That's not your normal purse, why the sudden change?" He questioned.

"Oh um, the place we went to searches bags so I figured I'd save myself the hassle, haha." You awkwardly giggled as you felt yourself caving under pressure.

"You still haven't told me where this place is Y/N." The look in his eyes were like daggers.

"Fine... me and some friends went to the Stray Kids concert tonight." you cracked.

"Oh! How fun! but it's" He checks his Apple watch. "3:47 am Y/N, in all my years of doing concerts I've never known them to end that late." He said sarcastically.

"Well...um." You stuttered and he rolled his eyes.

"Spit it out Y/N"

"Chan saw us in the crowd and remembered me from when you introduced us and he invited us out for drinks and food-"

"Ooooh drinks AND food, well damn you have had a full night huh?" The sarcasm was very evident.

"Hongjoong don't be like that."

"Like what? I just thought you said that you didn't need to see any other group besides Ateez since we are the best. Yet here you are."

"My friend bought the tickets." you sigh.

"And what did you do while you were out for food and drinks until 3 am." His eyes narrowed.

You stood there in silence choosing not to answer and avoid all eye contact.

"Come here Y/N." he stood up.

You walked over to him slowly then stood in front of him.

"Get on your knees." You stood there now listening for a moment. "Now!" You chose not to prolong it since he was already clearly mad, you got down and kneeled on both your knees on the cold hardwood floor, luckily you had on knee highs so it wasn't too bad. Hongjoong got closer to you and stood above you as he looked down on you with his arms folded you looked at him with pleading eyes hoping he would take a little mercy on you. "Get to it Y/N." you knew you were royally fucked. Though you two were only "friends" you and Hongjoong had a few established understandings, one of them being that you couldn't enjoy any other group except Ateez or he could punish you in any way he saw fit. At first, it was things like pinches or forehead flicks but then the punishments started to become things like standing in front of him with your clothes off or letting him edge you for hours on end. You weren't complaining, sometimes you would purposely get caught with another group's albums or merch so that he could punish you.

You started to undo his pants and zipper while trying to maintain eye contact, you pulled his hands down then his briefs to reveal his half-hardened dick.

"I'm sorry Jongie." you said still trying to get out of the punishment, he grabbed the base of his dick and the back of your head and shoved his cock down your throat causing you to gasp audibly, he held his dick there as it pulsed in your mouth.

"I don't want to fucking hear it." He had no remorse for you as he started to fuck your throat, you could feel his dick getting harder and harder as it became harder to breathe from your mouth the deeper he would go. "You shouldn't have done it if you were going to be sorry, now you have to pay the price." He lectured you as you continued to gag on his length while his hips never stopped, his thighs hit your chin, that's just how deep he was going.

"I won't do it again." was muffled from your very occupied mouth and it just irritated him more, he sped up the pace he was going, your throat was already sore from the screaming but him fucking it made it worse, the sting from your punishment was exhilarating.

He kept his grip on your hair with one hand then moved his other hand to your nose as he clamped it closed, cutting off your only airway left to use. "You promise you won't do it again?" he asked. You gagged more as you started to choke from your lack of air, he didn't care, he kept moving his hips to fuck his dick in and out of your throbbing throat. You nodded to his question and he released your nose, you thought you were in the clear until he cocked his hand back a bit and delivered a smack on your cheek, you whimpered around his cock and he returned his fingers to your nose to pinch it closed again. "I can't hear you." he said in a mocking tone. You muffled out a yes that was barely understandable as mascara tears started to run down your face, he released your nose once again and you started to take large breaths through it, he once again smacked your sensitive cheek, the sting was amazing.

"I said do you fucking promise?" He said as he pulled his dick from your mouth and looked down at you with a slightly scary face while he angled your head up to make sure you two made eye contact.

"Yes, I promise." You cried out, and he smiled.

"Good job, stick your tongue out." You opened your mouth wide then stuck your tongue out, he placed the tip of his dick on your tongue and stroked himself a few times before the hot ropes of his cum started to cover your tongue. "Now swallow all of it." You closed your mouth and swallowed every drop of his cum, even licking your lip gloss-covered lips to get the remaining off, you showed him your tongue to get his stamp of approval. "Strip and go to the bedroom, but crawl since you like to bark for other men like a horny little bitch in heat."

"Yes sir." You nodded then reached for your shirt to pull it off while he watched you slowly get naked to tease him, you stood there naked before getting on your hands and knees and crawling down the hall to your bedroom, Hongjoong watched you as he followed behind you, his eyes watching you made you wetter. Your slick spread all over your core and thighs, watching was making Hongjoong eager to drill you, once you reached the bed you sat on your knees waiting on his next command.

"On the bed dog."  he commanded, you got on top of the bed, sitting on your knees once again. "Lay on your back with your knees up." you laid back and bent your knees, Hongjoong removed the remainder of his clothes but walked over to the nightstand to get something out of the top drawer, before you could look over to see what he had he climbed on top on you and positioned himself between your legs, he ripped open a condom and you whined. "Shut up, cheater sluts like you don't get to get fucked raw." He didn't waste time and lined his tip up with your sex and put it in. You moaned as he pushed deeper into you, he held the back of your legs and you could feel him holding something hard as he kept a consistent pace inside of you.

"It feels so good Joongie." you moaned.

"Wanna feel even better baby?" He asked with a devious smirk on his face, though you didn't trust him you still nodded your head and closed your eyes to enjoy the feeling, you suddenly heard a loud buzzing sound and as soon as your eyes fluttered back open you saw Hongjoong was placing your vibrating egg right on your clit. By reflex your legs tried to snap closed and you yelped Hongjoong smiled watching you squirm about.

"Fuck, fuck, what, it's too much-" you yelled, he started to go faster while drawing circles on your clit with the egg and biting his bottom lip.

"Aw is that how you were screaming at your little concert?" Curse words and incoherent pleas fell from your lips as he pushed the egg further onto your clit, your head was all the way into the pillow. "What? You can't talk now huh? Spending all that time talking and laughing with them that you're too tired to talk?" He thrust harshly, the tip of his dick hitting your spot hard repeatedly, your fingers began to curl, and you could hear him laughing at you.

"Fuck Joong, Fuck." Was all you could say before your body started to shake, your eyes rolled back as you gripped the sheets hard, your pussy tightened around Hongjoong as liquid erupted out of you, Hongjoong smiled as he looked over the mess he made of you but he needed to push you more, punish you even further. Before you could catch your breath or get cleaned up Hongjoong turned the egg up to full speed and pushed it back onto your clit, you loudly moaned at the sudden fast pace vibrations on your already sensitive nub.

"Please- please, please, please, no more, no more." you pleaded you could hardly catch your breath, especially with his dick still inside you. He started to roll his hips into you until he was full-on fucking you again, you were fucked out and overstimulated as your clit began to ring, you placed one hand on his stomach and he shot daggers at you once again.

"Take your fucking hand away Y/N." He said in a stern and deep voice, you lowered your hand and sat there and took it, the sensation of his dick and the egg was overwhelming but felt amazing. "If you want me to stop, beg for my forgiveness."

"Pleeeease nghhh~ Please I'm so-rry, please, sorry fuck-" You fumbled out, he pressed harder and fucked you deeper by leaning closer, you gripped his back and pulled him closer while your nails dug into him.

"Louder." His thrusting began to get more aggressive as he pounded into you deeply while holding the egg sloppily.

"Please, please, I'm sorry, please forgive me Hongjoong, I'll only look at you forever, fuck everyone else!" You yelled into his ear, and you once again squirted on him and the bed, your tight abused pussy squeezing Hongjoongs dick and this time earning his cum that filled the condom, he cursed as he pulled out and turned the toy off. He rolled and took a seat on the side of the bed to return everything to your night stand then got up to walk to the bathroom to throw the condom away.

You were stuck in your position for a second, as your body came down from your high you slowly started to sit up in the bed. "It's not fair! You know I like it when you fill me up." You could hear the bath faucet turning on before he walked back in.

"Then stop being bad, that's the only time you will get rewards." he leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek before helping you out of bed so he could walk you to the bathroom so you two could take a bath together, he always acts so sweet after being a demon. You went in first to pee then swung the door open when you were done.

"I wasn't being bad, I was going to a free concert... then getting free food and drinks after." You mumbled the last part to not rub salt in his wound.

"Well it wasn't free since you had to pay the price with me." you rolled your eyes, he got in first then you got in after him, the hot water soothed your tense body and burned the new scratches on Hongjoong's back.

"Jeez talking like that like I belong to you Joong."

"You do, you belong to me and only me, so only cheer and look at me... and I guess all of Ateez... but I better be your bias!"

You chuckled at him. "Yes sir"

[moonstruckme]

helloooo, i have a request if its possible♡

since we got figure skater! Sirius..... Do you think we could get hockey player! James x figure skater! reader? Maybe they go to the same place but the place where they practice its kinda shitty so its literally kinda like an across the hallway situation where the hockey practice happens on one ice rink and when you leave you can walk thru the ice rink of the figure skaters that its on another section of the place IDK I'M NOT AN ARCHITECT SORRY

BUT THE POINT ITS, that one day James leaves practice later than usual and he's walking to get out but he heards his favorite song playing and he goes to see whats up because its his favorite song ever! and goes to the other ice rink and sees the reader practicing and inmediatly he has the biggest crush ever and its almost dreaming about a house and three kids with that cute girl

idk i think i explained myself like sht but hope you like the idea! cause i think it would be soo cute

Hi lovely, you explained yourself perfectly! Thanks for being so patient with me, I hope this is alright <3

hockey player!James x figure skater!reader ♡ 718 words

James’ entire body is pleasantly sore, and he’s very much looking forward to going home to a nice, hot shower.��

“Do you and Moony want to go get breakfast tomorrow morning?” he asks Sirius as they leave the locker room. The two of them had taken longer than usual changing out of their gear, Sirius filling him in on the absolute hell week Remus had at his new job. To hear Sirius talk about it, all the other professors are simply jealous of Remus. James is sure that’s partly true, but he’d bet they need less reason than that. Somehow, James had thought leaving school would mean emerging into a more mature world, but adults seem just as petty as teenagers. Maybe pancakes and a good, uplifting chat would do something to take the sting out of Remus’ first week and help prepare him for the next. 

Sirius cuts James a sideways look, gray eyes narrowed. “Breakfast at what time?” 

“I was thinking six, six thirty.” Sirius scoffs, and James grins. “Only joking. How’s eleven?” 

“Still too early,” Sirius grumbles, “but we’ll go.” 

James bobs his head, pleased to have a course of action for helping his friend. “Ask Moons where he feels like going, and just…” He hears a faint, familiar melody. “...just let me know.” 

“Sounds good.” Sirius pushes open the door, but James has stopped. He’s looking back towards the rink, intrigued. “Coming?” 

James waves him off. “In a bit. See you tomorrow.” 

Sirius makes an amused sound, not unused to James’ diversions, and goes. 

James follows the sound of his favorite song, unabashed about bopping his head to the beat as he approaches the rink. He knows figure skaters sometimes use the rink after his hockey practice has wrapped up, and he absolutely has to see who’s choreographed a routine to this. He comes to a stop near the edge of the bleachers, and watches through the tempered glass as one lone skater launches into a turn. 

This wouldn’t be the track James would have thought of for a figure skating routine, but frankly, you’re doing it justice. Your movements are springy and nimble as you glance across the ice, one complicated-looking move to the next to the next. It seems like both skates are never touching the ground for more than half a second. There’s a lot to be said, probably, about your skill, your technique, but James is a philistine. All he can think about is how pretty you look. 

You’re gorgeous. Stunning. Graceful in your movements and seraphim in your countenance. A wisp of hair has freed itself from the confines of the rest and whips about your face, but you don’t seem to notice it, your gaze steady and lips just slightly pursed in concentration. 

James would never tell his friends because they’d mock him to hell and back, but he does believe in love at first sight. Only under particular circumstances, though. The sight has to be good enough—meaning, he has to see some aspect of who that person is behind a pretty face. You certainly do have a pretty face, and you’re dancing to his favorite song, and James doesn’t understand how he could ever be expected to not be totally enamored with you after this one spectacular look. He worries that if you glance over, you’ll see him with giant cartoon hearts boinging out of his eyes on springs. 

The song ends, and you spin to a stop. James’ breathing stops, too, as your gaze lands on a point not ten feet to his right. He wonders if he’s being creepy. It’s not like this is a private rink, and James wouldn’t be weirded out if he spotted someone watching him running drills or something (actually, if it were you he’d be over the moon about it), but he’s been told not everyone feels like he does about that stuff. And though he hardly thinks of himself as intimidating, James is also a big guy. He wants to woo you, not spook you.

You skate to the edge of the rink to restart your music, and James slips out. He hears it blaring softly behind him, and he probably looks like a total idiot when he grins and dances out the front door. An idiot in love.

[f1smutwriter]

Hello I saw you write for pierre could you write one where they had a fight and fem reader is giving him the silent treatment

After going out with charles and alex, pierre finds out some hot tea he comes into the bedroom asks to pause their fight si he can share the tea which is something they always do together without fail.

Maybe gossiping is how they met like idk they sat at bar together and he overheard her gossip on her phone about her date. So he listened in lol

I saw a picture of Charles showing pierre something on his phone and it looked like juicy drama.

Feel free to make up the gossip or use actual f1 gossip I'm just getting into it so I don't know a lot of lore.

Thank you xo

|𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐚 (𝐩𝐠𝟏𝟎)

|𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Summary: they get into an agreement but the tea is too good not to tell.

Warnings: nothing, a bit of cussing that’s pretty much it

Notes: I loved writing this and I’m so sorry for not posting I’ve been trying to keep up with the writing from these and my books so I’m sorry. Girl I hope you enjoy!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Really the silent treatment, it was one word it didn’t mean anything” Pierre tried to tell me but I didn’t give him any of it. He just shakes his head before saying the word that made this whole argument. “I called you dramatic because you said I didn’t love you because I forgot your chocolate, which is extremely dramatic” He told me making my jaw drop as he called me dramatic again. I just roll my eyes and flip him off going to the kitchen.

“Oh come on mon ange you’re really mad at me” he says following me to the kitchen. I don’t say anything to him I just go to the fridge and take out some pineapple to cut for myself. “Baby please I need you to not ignore me I hate when you ignore me” he told me making me roll my eyes from his begging voice.

“Fine I’ll just ignore you then” he grumbled going to his game room to join the simulator with his friends. A few hours later he comes in the room and hopes in the shower. He comes out in his towel and his gold chain around his neck making me just stare at him in awe but quickly look away when he looks at me.

“I’m going out with Charles and Alex for a bit I made you dinner already so don’t worry about starving to death” He shouted from the closet when he was changing. I just sigh hating being alone in the house but I continued to go on my phone (secretly watching edits of him). He comes out in baggy light washed jeans, a green hoodie and a jacket to layer it with his chain and his ring that I gifted him. I basically drool over him but I try to ignore him.

He blow dries his hair making it the perfect amount of fluffy, once’s he’s finished getting ready he comes to me and grabs my jaw softly kissing me making me kiss back like a first instinct.

We kiss for a couple of minutes before he lets go and kisses forehead softly before whispering. “I’ll see you in a bit mon ange. Je t’aime” he whispered to me before giving my neck a peck before leaving the room. I just sit in my room waiting for him to come home already missing him even though he just left.

Charles, Alex, and Pierre are all playing poker with some other friends they grew up with. “Dude did you hear the shit that was happening” Charles asked Pierre who was looking at his cards. “No what shit” He asked fixing his cards so he didn’t lose.

“So something happened with Max and Nando and I think their like arguing for a redbull seat, but redbull is obviously gonna stick with Max and Nando is pissed so he’s like talking a lot of shit about max” Charles said while putting his chips in the middle. “And want is max saying” Pierre asked now just listening to the story.

"He's pissed calling Nando immature, and how he's taking it out of proportion" Charles says while taking a swig of his drink. "That's fucking crazy man" Pierre chuckled while placing down his cars showing the boys he won another round. "Fucking hell man how do you always win" Alex says throwing his card on the table.

"You just suck at poker mate" Pierre laughed while taking all the chips. "Well mates I got to go lily wants me home for dinner and I don't want to be broke" Alex chuckled while packing up his things. "Yeah I got to go to Y/n me hope at a certain so l got to go" Pierre said before taking one more sip of his drink before grabbing his keys and going to the car.

Once he gets home he speed walks to the room seeing me on my phone watching some videos. "Baby" he says softly to me making me roll my eyes. "I know you're mad at me, but I have drama that needs to be told” Pierre said dramatically sitting on the edge of the bed. "So pause the fight because it is too good" Pierre says making me smile before wanting to hear.

“So apparently the girls are fighting, Max and Fernando are arguing about a redbull seat, and obvi redbull is gonna stick to their starboy so Nando got pissed and started talking nonsense about it. Saying how max doesn't deserve the seat and how it should be his, and max is like he's being ridiculous and immature" Pierre says spilling the tea to me without taking a single breath.

"No fucking way, I thought Nando was loving it at Aston Martin" I say confused on the whole topic. "Apparently not because he's not getting as much attention as Lance is because he's a ne-" I cut him off before he finished the sentence. "Be respectful" I warned him with the look that makes him be nice

"Sorry Mon ange, but yeah that's why the girls are fighting over a stupid seat" Pierre laughed which makes me laugh. "Please tell me you're not mad anymore" he asked me with his puppy dog eyes and pout. "No baby I'm not mad anymore" I say lovingly while running my fingers through his hair. "Since when did we start spilling tea to each other because now it's just normal" | asked while feeling his hair through my finger tips.

“The first day we met, heard you talking about that dick head that stood you up so I got the courage and talked to you” he says softly to me while his head is in my lap and he’s rubbing thigh. “You were listening” I laughed while scratching his scalp a bit just like he liked it. “When I heard ‘you’ll never guess what happened I was all ears” he laughed against me making me laugh with him.

—————————————————————————

3 years ago

“Dude you’ll never guess what happened” was the one word that Pierre heard to make him start listening to my conversation without me knowing. The asshole stood me up said he was with another girl who’s ten times prettier” I said absolutely pissed while talking to my friend.

Pierre just takes a sip of his drink shocked that a guy can say that to someone as gorgeous as you. “I bet you his dick was tiny” I say making fun of the guy making Pierre almost snort out in laughter.

After the call ended I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around to see who it was I see then most handsome guy I’ve seen. “Hi I’m sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say that you’re beautiful” Pierre said making me smile softly and feeling my cheeks get hot.

“That you so are you” I stuttered, “I-i mean handsome you’re very handsome” I stuttered pretty bad making him smile softly at me seeing his pearly white teeth. “I’m sorry I’m never really like this” I tell him trying to save myself from embarrassment. “No it’s okay I think it’s pretty cute” he told me making me blush ten times more almost looking like a tomato.

“May I have your name” he asked me softly his French accent making it so much better when he talks. “Hailey my names Hailey” I say softly still blushing for the life of me. “My names Pierre nice to meet your Hailey” He smiled softly now it being my favorite thing he does even though we just met.

“Can I take you out sometime” he asked me making me look happy. “Yeah heres my number” I say giving him mmhmm number on a napkin. “Are you free right now” he asked me feeling surprised that he asked. “Yeah I am actually why” I asked confused on the question.

“Can I take you out right now” he wondered making me blush more and more probably looking ruby red. “I would love to” i mumbled feeling embarrassed from the blush on my face. “Let’s go I have a place in mind” He says softly holding my hand to take me outside.

“Is this the part where you kidnap me” I joked softly while taking his hand. “I don’t know do you want to get kidnapped by me” he chuckled making me giggle with him. “Maybe but seriously where are we going” I asked softly letting him lead the way to this random place.

“Welcome to the pretty pond that I found” he says softly showing me the pond that was glowing from the moonlight. I see fireflies everywhere admire the beautiful view. “You have no idea how much I need this, thank you” I say hugging him making him wrap his arms around my waist hugging me back. “Of course Mon ange” he whispered softly and smoothly in my ear.

“What does that mean” I asked him about the sudden nick name. “You’ll find out soon” smiled softly brushing my messy hair behind my ear making me blush more.

—————————————————————————

Present

“I remember that day, I love it so much” I said softly scratching his head as he kissed my thighs a bit. “Talking to you was the best decision of my life. I don’t regret one thing about it” he mumbled against my thigh making me giggle. “Even when I’m being dramatic about chocolate” I said making him chuckle softly. “Even then I will never regret talking to you baby I love you” he said softly to me before leaning up to his me.

“I love you too baby” I say kissing him back softly making him grab my neck like he always did. He squeezed my neck still kissing me with such love and care like I was fragile and he was scared to break me. “Gosh Mon ange you’re so precious, it’s truly captivating” he whispered before going back to kiss me making me whimper softly. “Let’s go eat some dinner” he says before giving my neck one last squeeze.

He goes to the pantry and sees a familiar bag in the corner. “Mon ange” he called out making me hum. “What did you say you wanted from the store” he asked softly making me look confused. “Chocolate why” I asked while placing the plates on the island. “There’s chocolates right here” he said back with a funny look making me look at him with a guilty face.

… “Oops”

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Notes: tell me why I’m trying my hardest to get these 5 post out. Yes you read right FIVE. Anyways if you requested something don’t worry it’s coming out soon. And yes more smut is coming out real soon. Let’s just say it’s another threesome. Hope you enjoy!

[tia-shay]

Solar Return Observations 1.0

Hello, I'm so excited to write this post! Today I will provide an overview of my most recent solar return chart and how the year manifested for me.

For extra background, this was my 12th house profection year (ruled by Jupiter) and it was just as messy as the astro girlies predicted. 0/10 would recommend. Due to this being my 12th house protection year, I assumed it would be pretty low-key. But, my Leo ascendant had other plans. Note: these observations were made using Tropical astrology and Placidus house system!

Leo Ascendant at 24 degrees: talk about being in the spotlight. To an uncomfortable degree, the focus really was on me this year. What I could do, what my talents are, and undivided attention. For an introvert like myself, this was superrr uncomfy!! Idk how y'all do it. But this was a year where my creativity was able to shine. I spent a lot of time with kids and nurturing my own inner child.

Taurus Sun in 9th house (conjunct mercury, NN and MC): I started and stopped college this year. Apparently I needed to go back to be reminded of how much I despise it. Much to my dismay, I did little to no traveling this year. But these planets are all in Taurus so perhaps that can make them stationary? Sun conjunct NN made it to where my entire being was exactly what I needed to be. I just needed to stand tall and confident (Leo ASC) in who God created me to be.

Speaking of God, with this being my 12th house protection year, I started going back to church, volunteering my time and resources, and standing stronger in my spirituality. I would have NEVER made it through this year without this!

Aquarius Pluto in 6th house square Taurus Sun: I thought I was gonna d*e like a thousand times when I seen this aspect/placement. Y'all I was scurred, but still I rise! This year was certainly strange. At times it felt as if I was my own worst enemy. Battling inner battles every moment of the day. I joked that each week I was a new person, but honestly, this was the truth. Pluto doesn't let you stay the same. My routine changed a lot this year and I ended up working in a career I have never even considered! I also started posting on social media a lot more and even made a YouTube channel!

Cancer Moon conjunct Cancer Mars in 11th house: this also frightened me. I'm a natal Cap moon so to give me a Cancer moon?! Baby, idk what to do with this...but we made it work! My energy levels were very much dependent on my mood and emotions so that was icky. My relationship with my mother pretty much carried me through this year. In whole signs, this moon is placed in the 12th house which I found very interesting as my mother suffered some mental health issues and had to go away for a bit. I did partake in more social gatherings this year, although I won't say I necessarily gained more friends. Friendly gatherings felt more purposeful and I felt much less anxiety compared to what I would typically feel.

Scorpio IC: a majority of my transformations took place at home. I would go to sleep and energetically wake up a completely different person.

Taurus Mercury square Leo Ascendant: the way I articulated myself was in direct contrast with the way I presented myself. My appearance was very bold and hard to ignore, but my voice was very soft-spoken, yet straight to the point. I also noticed that people expected me to be one way, but when I opened my mouth and was a straight shooter, it took people aback, Like yeah, you weren't expecting me to be a bad*ss were you? Also Sun conjunct Mercury and Mercury conjunct Uranus so I stood on business!

Aries Chiron at a Leo degree: You know what's worse than being projected into the spotlight? Being in the spotlight, but cringing the entire time because you don't want people to see who you truly are. Flaws and all. This was how this placement manifested for me. I've always struggled with self-acceptance but the universe really said it's time to tackle this head on! Not an easy feat...

7th house Pisces Saturn at a Leo degree: Dang, Leo energy was on me bad this year! Well, I experienced my first committed romantic relationship with a Pisces Rising! It only lasted a few months, but the levels of delusion were insane. Definitely someone I shouldn't have been with to begin with, but you don't know unless you try, right? Saturn sextile my NN and Sun, so it was for character development hahaha.

10th house Gemini Venus at Leo degree: I've had this placement in plenty of my Solar Returns and each time I thank God it's only for a year. But it's a cute lil placement for the time being. With Venus in the 10th house, I found it very easy to charm people and get on their good side. Especially after just one conversation. I didn't have any love triangles cause I don't play that, but I did have quite a few people tryna be my boo...Venus square Neptune added to the delusion I had going and Sextile Chiron helped me to heal relationship issues and my relationships with women! Ooh, Gemini rules the hands and I created a lot of beauty this past year! Especially on the internet. I was also incredibly loved at work. People bringing me gifts and buying me food regularly. I could get used to this lol.

10th house Taurus Uranus conjunct MC: drastic and unexpected changes in my career and reputation. One minute no one knew me and next minute I'm Ms. Popular?? Okay, popular for ME lol. I was nervous in my career because I was doing stuff I had never done before. My job seemed fairly stable and chill. I appreciated this vibe greatly.

These are some of the placements/aspects that stood out to me this last year. Feel free to shed some light on your personal experiences with these placements either natal or solar return. :)

Please do not under any circumstances copy, rewrite, reword, or repost my work without crediting me.

[lemonhemlock]

what are they doiiiing, man

The more I believed I wasn't a book puritist, the more this show is trying to make me one because what are they doing?

Everything is inconsistent from episode to episodo and from season to season, like they're not even trying to make it believable

The only good thing is fr Daemon plot and this does shock me because I wouldn't have believed it before lol

And they're kind of making me feel angry about the green (alicent the most, because what are you doiiing? Not even on a book!alicent point, but from the same shows, she is always something different and it's humiliating really)

Idk, i try to take all with a light heart but... it's still able to make me quite mad

And sorry for all the typos and errors, I'm in a rush dhsjal

i mean it's a really disappointing season

i've said it before in my critiques, we can argue all day about characterisation (maybe some actually see aemond as an emotionless psycho, maybe some actually buy that alicent would sell out her own sons for rhaenyra), but there is little to no buildup for these HUGE changes and they don't even make sense in the context of the story. the greens are so, so emotionally flat and one-note melancholy with stunted dynamics. if they don't give a shit about each other, why and even HOW could the audience? where is the tragedy? ok, you want to make those changes from the books and create completely different versions of these characters: you have to make me believe it, man. you have to put in the work.

but these writers don't even understand the politics of the world they are inhabiting. they're not fixing any plot holes from the books, they're creating more. how the heck is house hightower JUST fine with having TWO members of their family dismissed in quick succession from the small council? who is financing this war? uncle hobert should be writing angry letters to aemond demanding appropriate reparations or else the hightower armies go back to oldtown. if they are not going to advance their own interests further as a house, why are they fighting this pointless war? tyland lannister should have given aemond some lip back for his attitude since house lannister has resources (i.e. armies, ships and gold) that aemond needs. these people have power! we've already seen the riverlords take no shit from daemon and he has a dragon too!

i've said this already to our dear @stannisfactions, so i'm gonna repeat myself here, but if alicent somehow became convinced that aemond was so off the rails he was going to get helaena killed................ there are ways around that that DON'T involve selling out your entire family to rhaenyra (certainly your male relatives, even the ones who didn't do a damn thing to you, like your brother, your uncle, your cousins, YOUR OTHER SON (THE NICE ONE), who are only following YOUR lead at the end of the day, because YOU put aegon on the throne and told them to mobilize forces and declare for him and now rhaenyra will see them all as traitors.

has everyone forgotten how to stage a castle coup? i know vhagar is big and scary, but she's parked way outside KL and aemond is just one man who was NOT shown to hustle for his own connections and personal network of friends. smack him in the damn head and throw his ass in jail!! tell everyone else the now-conscious KING aegon told you to! alicent was ruling queen for many years, it makes no sense for her not to have her own resources and courtiers who could help her do this.

can you imagine joffrey baratheon, surrounded by lannister guards loyal to and paid by tywin lannister, whose war is financed by the lannisters, dismissing tywin or cersei (or even tyrion) from his small council? are you laughing yet? why doesn't alicent have her own private army of hightower guards loyal to HER? unless you want (and need) her to be the stupidest person alive so that you can write your rhaenicent fanfic 🤌

they want to humiliate alicent so much to „punish” her for ~choosing the patriarchy~ instead of her bff rhaenyra and girl power. it's such an overdone storyline. other shows, books, media have done it to death, why is it in my dragon show, too? she can't have been a competent regent for viserys and not know how to do these things or not have acquired the resources to do them if necessary. how can she be both competent and incompetent when the plot requires it? it's giving wanting to still have the cake after eating it and throwing it into outer space

[she-who-seek-happiness]

For those who have ADHD and/or autism.

I wanna to do a test to see if I'm autistic, have ADHD, both or neither. For some reason I'm terrified of knowing the truth. Sorry if I sound offensive at some point, I'm just writing about myself and don't mean to be mean at any point.

ADHD, the name changed right? Gonna use this one because I'm writing this quickly. If I have ok, that'd explain why I'm so forgetful and nothing catches my attention unless I'm interested in the topic. And why is so hard to focus. And why I never finish my projects. But I'm not hyper active. I'm a pretty calm person, I can't reall5sit and focus for too long, but give me a hair elastic thing and I'll play with it for hours while listening to you. And I'll be able to actually listen.

Don't ask me to look in your eyes tho, I will. But only for 5 minutes if you are lucky.

My mom a lot for times aska me for things and I completely forget about them, things that are important and I feel bad for forgetting.

But all of this could simply be me and no ADHD. I don't know.

Autism

Frankly I don't think I have autism. But the reports are just so relatable it scares me a bit. I was bullied a lot during my childhood. I remember in the first grade, I tried hard to make friends but I never was able to. To this day I don't know why. Why people didn't like me? I have a timeline of events in my head of my entire life, things that happened when I was 2 y.o. but I don't have details. I don't remember if i did something or not to be not liked. The first school that my parents put me in I was there for a year. In this whole year I didn't make a single friend. I remember I asked my parents for help to do a lost of people who were and weren't my friends simply to try to uncover the reason for that. Is this a sign of autism? Idk. Maybe I'm just out of the norm, but not autistic. Doesn't seem like autism. Autism is something that affects your day to day, every day life. I'm not sure if I have signs everyday.

I have trouble socializing. I have trouble making friends. I have trouble maintaining friendship. But I can understand sarcasm, jokes and I'm able to tell when people are sad or uncomfortable. so there's goes signs that the internet sites gave me. Sometimes I do have troubles talking and truly understanding what my parents say. Not because they are complex, but because I don't get it. There are easier ways to do things and they won't for some alien reason.

I have trouble understanding relationships, in the sense what it means to be in, part of or the different aspects of relationship. People expect things. Sometimes it feels like mathematical equations on which I have to be constant aware of. I gave to do this to get to that. A lot of times I feel like I'm manipulating the few relationships that I have big I can't see another way.

Don't you dare change my routine. I'll be messed up and although not cry, I'll be very close to. Unless the change is "we are not going outside of the house anymore", sudden things messes my little planned time. At the same time I can't really organize myself very well.

I do have some subjects on which I'm very passionate about. But I'm no genius on them and although I'd love to, I can't keep going on them for hours and hours because, as said before I can't communicate very well. My social skills are terrible, I don't know what to say most of the time but I feel like I should.

I don't think I have autism. I don't think I have ADHD. I think I'm only different from other people but can't put my finger exactly on what exactly. I don't feel like I really fall into the spectrum because I lack the usual signs. But I don't know how much of this is stereotyping both those conditions.

[boylikeanangel]

can you please share a bit more of your thoughts on the spoilers? i haven't seen them anywhere and it would be nice to know them coming from you

hiii tumblr mobile does not give timestamps for asks so idk if this is in regard to the spoilers from the interviews or the screenings but all my thoughts are kinda connected to both so SPOILER WARNING FOR THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF SEASON 2 UNDER THE CUT LALALALA

I don't even know where to start like. I have been in a state of shock all day because literally everything my friends and I speculated about is real. literally all of it. all of our wildest theories about aziraphale and crowley's first meeting were confirmed by the fans who saw the screening. I have never won this fucking hard and ive won AT GOOD OMENS OF ALL THINGS. 2022 me would be laughing. june 2023 me would be laughing. two days ago me would be LAUGHING. I genuinely think this may be one of the best seasons of tv ever guys

like. do you understand. how much this changes. how our understanding of crowley and aziraphale's dynamic throughout time has been totally flipped on its head. aziraphale approached crowley first. crowley was the one who sheltered aziraphale with his wing. so eden was aziraphale returning the favour. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. AZIRAPHALE FELL FIRST. HE DIDNT TAKE SIX THOUSAND YEARS TO CATCH UP. HE HASN'T BEEN CLUELESS THIS ENTIRE TIME. they've literally been connected this entire time, right from before sides or the concept of evil or hatred or enemies were even invented. of course they'd never buy into the whole "hereditary enemies" thing. AZIRAPHALE KNOWS HIM. HE KNOWS CROWLEY. HE'S ALWAYS KNOWN HIM.

and it doesn't even feel like a retcon. it doesn't feel like we need to ignore a bunch of stuff from season 1 to accept or enjoy the added content this season. it's literally just. more shit to help quantify the depth of their love for each other. their connection over countless millennia. I mean if you go back to the very first scene in season 1, aziraphale literally does a double take when crowley appears next to him. that's him realising who it is. he fucking recognised crowley and freaked out for a second. that's why he didn't hear what crowley said!!! he was processing!!!! AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW MUCH MORE SHIT FROM SEASON 1 HURTS NOW. AZIRAPHALE PLEADING WITH CROWLEY BECAUSE HE WAS AN ANGEL, ONCE. CROWLEY WANTING TO TAKE AZIRAPHALE AND RUN AWAY TO LIVE IN A GALAXY THEY HELPED BUILD TOGETHER. AZIRAPHALE ALWAYS TELLING CROWLEY NOT TO QUESTION GOD AND BEING SO AFRAID TO DO THE SAME BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT'S EXACTLY WHY CROWLEY FELL IN THE FIRST PLACE. it's not retconning its just making everything worse!!! azcrow is canon and everything is worse now!!!!!!

the biblical minisode. well. I cannot think about that without having to pace around my house like a person going into labour. I literally stress cleaned my entire house earlier to distract myself from thinking about it. crowley has always always ALWAYS protected aziraphale. always. literally the only reason aziraphale has never killed anything is because crowley has protected him from ever having to do that. crowley's dedication to preserving aziraphale's goodness and allowing him to be his own definition of angelic/holy is the greatest act of service he could bestow upon him and it makes me SICK because him pushing aziraphale to kill adam in 1x06 after all that shows just how desperate he was. both of them realising and understanding at the exact same time that the only person in the universe who really understands them or knows what they're going through is the other, the only person they can rely upon is the other, its just. we've been so wrong. about aziraphale. about the extent to which he knows how important crowley is to him. he's always known. he's just been so afraid. him being prepared to fall to keep doing what he believes is right is so fucking heartbreaking and weve done him such a disservice all these years for calling him naive and mocking him for being slow on the uptake. HE'S ALWAYS KNOWN. HE JUST COULDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE. AND THAT'S SO MUCH WORSE

basically I have never been more scared in my entire life because if they packed this much into the first two episodes and it was deemed tame enough to show ahead of release then what the fuck is in the next four. what are we getting ourselves in for . it's really dawning on me the scope of what this experience is going to be and I simply dont think im going to survive it. again I never expected any of this. this was my definitive "high hopes low expectations" season of tv and it's now it's shaping up to be one the best things I've probably ever seen in my life and. it's cognitive dissonance in its crystallised form. how did we fucking get here.

AND GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY??????? PLAYING IN CROWLEY'S CAR AS HE GOES TO MAKE UP WITH AZIRAPHALE?????? SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW THIS ISN'T FUNNY

in conclusion

[beelsfridge]

Goodbye (For Now) Pt.2

Pt.1

Nightbringer Spoilers Ahead (maybe a little ooc)

Tags:(Angst/TBD)(TimeTravel)(SayingGoodbye)(hurt/comfort)

(Idk how to tag properly)

///

Synopsis:

You knew you weren’t suppose to stay in the past for that long. You knew you didn’t belong there. You had to get back to your time eventually.

And even if the brothers were warming up to you again, you had to say goodbye. The worst part was that they would never know why you really left.

.

.

“They mean forever Mammon. It means they’re never coming back.”

.

.

.

“Huh?! What are ya saying Satan?! Stop bullshitting!” Mammon yells at him.

You could feel all eyes on you stare you down in confusion.

“He’s right Mammon..”You say in a less enthusiastic tone than before. Mammon lols betrayed by your words as he steps back away from you.

“You’re leaving?…”Leviathan says with clear disappointment.

“I am..”You say as the air grows thick around you.

It’s quiet. A tension between you and the brothers that quickly becomes suffocating until Asmo throws himself toward you.

“You can’t leave!” Asmo yells out as he clings onto your arm,”You can’t! Who else will let me talk about myself and agree with everything I say?!”

“Asmo…”You say with a pained expression as you look to the others.

Beels eyes can’t meet yours as he mumbled something about no longer being hungry while Belphie mutters something about having a bad dream.

“Why?!” Satan says grabbing you by the collar of your RAD uniform as he yanks you from Asmo in anger,”You’re suppose to be our attendant! You can’t just leave!”

“Satan let them go you’re going to hurt them!” Asmo says.

Satan doesn’t move his grip from you and all you could feel is the anger and resentment radiate off of him.

You try to come up with a believable excuse. After all, they can never truly know why.

But why are they acting this way?

“Diavolo said I’d be your attendant until you’ve all adjusted to being in Devildom…” You tell him as you avoid eye contact,”And you’ve all adjusted to your lives here already so…”

“Bullshit!” He tells you immediately,”That’s not the reason and you know it! Tell me the truth!”

“Oi Satan! Calm down!” Mammon says.

“I can’t stand being here anymore.” Levi says bitterly.

“Let me go Satan..”You tell him with a sad expression.

You can see his angry expression change to one with guilt as he lets his grip on you go hesitantly.

“I just don’t …understand why...” He tells you.

You don’t respond to him. You didn’t think they’d be this upset over you leaving.

After all…they always didn’t seem to care when you were requested to appear at the House. Would it have been better to have just disappeared and not say anything like Solomon wanted?

You feel a gentle touch on your hand,”Don’t go MC..” Mammon tells you with a sad expression.

“I’m sorry Mammon..”You say pulling away from his touch,”Maybe you guys will understand one day…”

“Then why not help us understand now?…”Belphie asks,”Why?…” He seems hurt by your words,”Did we mean so little to you?.. sure..we weren’t ..best of friends ..and expressing ourselves hasn’t been easy..but ..didn’t we mean something at least?…”

“Of course you did. ….You don’t know how much.” You say honestly,” Truth be told…i was never meant to say goodbye ..the plan was to just disappear without ever saying a word.”

“That’s cruel.” Beel tells you.

“You were just gonna leave us and not saying anything?” Levi says hurt by your words,”Who does that…?”

“Would it have been better that way?” You ask them honestly,

“Of course not!” Asmo tells you.

Belphie shakes his head in disbelief,” I can’t believe this conversation is happening.” Beel hums in agreement.

This didn’t make sense. Sometimes you’d go days without seeing them and when you did reappear you were hardly acknowledged unless you were in the midst of their schemes. And let’s not forget the whole reveal fiasco that occurred.

“I don’t understand.” You tell them,” I thought you guys…didn’t like me?”

“What’s MC blabbering about-“ Mammom says clearly confused,”We care. Did you not pick up on it?”

“You ..”You say confusingly,”You….you care about me?”

“Of course we do!” Mammon says angrily,”Where did you get the idea we didn’t?!”

Been hums in agreement.

“Oh…” was all the words you made out. Did you just misunderstand? Or did you not notice that these versions of the brothers had different ways of showing they cared about you?

Oh..

You could feel the hot tears begin to fall down your cheeks,”Well..cause I was a demon and then I lied about it so I assumed…. “

Everyone looks at you with sad and tearful expression as you start to cry.

Levi has a surprised look on his face,”H-hey wait -don’t do that.”

“Waaa! Don’t cry MC! You’re gonna make me cry!” Asmo says as he hugs you lovingly as his face begins to tear up.

“I’m ..”you say between sobs,”I’m so grateful to have met you guys. I’m really going to miss you all.”

“When you say it like that..”Mammon voices breaks as he attempts to hold back his emotions,”Ah dammit MC, ya making me all emotional.”

“And we will miss you as well.” Another voice speaks out from behind.

“Lucifer?..”You say trying to stop your tears as you turn to his direction.

His expression is soft yet still stern. However in his eyes holds glints of sadness at your appearance.

He sighs deeply,”I had a feeling ..that this day would...” He tells you.

“but I was also hoping…”He says his eyebrows furrow,”that it would never come…” He says with a disappointed tone.

He looks at his brothers before looking at you.

He sighs as he grabs ahold of your hands,”I’m not the best, when it comes to expressing my true feelings..however..I think I can speak for all of us when I say..we are thankful for all you’ve done for us… you made the transition of living here, in the Devildom, easier. And We couldn’t have done it..without you…”

You can’t recall a time where he’s ever been this honest. But his words seem to Pierce your heart completely as you feel your eye bubble up again with tears.

“We will be sad…to see you go…”He tells you squeezing your hands tightly for a brief moment.

You can’t help it! It’s all just too much!

You find yourself hugging Lucifer tightly as the tears stain your cheeks. After a few moments you feel a hand pat your head gently.

“Thank you..”You whisper to him. You didn’t know how badly you needed to hear him say those words to you.

When you pull away you look at everyone else. While you’re sad that you have to leave them. You know they’ll be waiting to see you again.

One by one, you hug each and everyone one of them. Reminding them that they are just as important to you as you are to them.

You remind Belphie that if he ever has trouble sleeping again -to look to the stars and count as many as he can because somewhere out there you’ll be looking at them too.

You tell Beel to avoid eating foods that will upset his stomach and that if he ever feels an uncontrollable hunger to think of silly sad stories about that food. He tells you he’ll try. And you smile because that’s all that matters.

You tell Asmo that when he starts to feel insecure about himself that he needs to your words and chant them to himself until he no longer feels that way.

You remind Satan that he’s doing his best. And one day he’ll realize how far he’s come. And if he ever feels angry, to look at the cats in the yard and befriend them.

You look at Levi, he seems so upset. After all, he thought you’d be friends forever. But you remind him, that you are always going to be friends. No matter where you go, and you tell him that if he ever feels lonely, he needs to remember he has brothers who love him just as he is.

When you break apart from Mammons he pulls you right back in. You feel him hold onto you for his dear life. You feel his body tremble against yours.. and in a quiet whisper remind Mammon that he needs to keep his buttery fingers away from trouble and he laughs. And you tell him, that he is the glue for all his brothers. That he needs to remember he’s just as important as everyone else. That he has to look out for them because they’d be lost without him. He responds with a cocky”I know.” Before he lets your hand go with the last thing he feels is the touch of your fingertips.

And finally you get to Lucifer. Despite his cold touch and attitude, his hug is quite warm.

He tells you with a whisper as he kisses your top of your hand ,” if you should ever need a job as an attendant.” you’d know where to find him. Causing you to both laugh quietly amongst each other. As you pull away from him he grabs your arm gently back.

His eyes say it all.

“Don’t go.”

You grab ahold of his hands and hold them gently in yours with a reassuring squeeze.

And in a quiet whisper….

You bow respectfully to Lucifer.

His head runs circles at your words as he bows back.

“At least send a postcard or sum Yknow.” Mammom wipes his tears with a murmur agreements following his statement.

“That might be a little difficult -“ You tell him with a reassuring smile,”But I’ll try.”

“Don’t worry.” Another voice says. You turn to see Solomon standing there with a smile,” they’re in good hands. I’ll be sure, to pass their messages onto you all.” He extends his hand out to you.

You take it with a smile,”I can go home?” You ask him with hopeful eyes.

“It’ll be like you never left.” He tells you with a knowing smile.

“Alright then… I guess….“You say as you turn back to the brothers.

“Goodbye, for now.”

.

.

[somemetallyillbitch]

John Nolan x López!reader

Bc I love the parents friend trope I'll write another nolan ff this time with reader being a lopez (and of age, like 21 22 or smth like that)

John Nolan x reader fluff

Warnings: mamma Lopez, swearing, Nolan scared of his life, hints of smut but no actual smut, mentions of Alcohol (let me know if I forgot anything)

AN: I have zero clue what I made here but something came out so her yall go have fun

It was John's rare day of and we charished it with quality time and Netflix. That's when my phone rang. "Lopez-Evers? Hi mom what's up?" *over the phone* "Hi sweetie how you doing?" "What do you want mom?" "Can't a mother ask how her child is doing?" "She can but I know she wants something by her tone so spill it" "What do you know about secret relationships?" my heart sank "what would I know about that?" "We think Nolan is in one and you have the greatest skills to find out who it is." "Aren't you the detective?" "I can't spy on my co-worker" "so you want me to do it?" John looked at me with confusion and he picked me up and put me on his lap and nuzzled into my neck while I kept talking "Mom I love you but I won't Stalk your co-worker bc you want to know who he is dating, if you want to find out ask him yourself. Why don't you and dad throw a grill party or something then you could ask him, I can come to if you want, I mean it's springbreak so I have the next two weeks in LA." "okay I'm gonna tell your dad but please tell me what you find" "I won't find anything bc will not stalk Nolan end of discussion. Love you bye." John looked at me confused "why would you Stalk me?" "I will not Stalk you amor but I don't think this will be a secret much longer. My mom really wants to know who you date, maybe because you act differently." "So we are going to a grill party at your parents to find out I date you?" he asked amused "Yes precisely now if you don't stop with the little kisses I will drag you into the bedroom." I said and earned a mischievous grin from him "Oh well I do not mind" and kissed my neck harder until he hit my weak spot and I moaned. "John I swear to god~ christ that is good" he chuckled into my neck, turned me around and picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. "amor, as much as I would love doing that I have to get home and change." I was mad at myself for saying that. "You look beautiful all the time love" he said and kissed me. "thank you baby but I still have to change into something that isn't yours even if we get exposed today I still want to drag it out because as soon as my mother knows all hell will break lose and at least then she will have some alcohol in her system. " I said. "Alraight I will see you tonight but after that I will take out outfit and it will be in the corner of the room." "Okay sound perfect, I love you and I will see you at my parents." I gave him a quick kiss and walked out the house.

*Timeskip bc Idk what to write*

I was wearing something that will drive john insane bc the last time I wore it I couldn't walk the next day, that was fun explaining that to my professor when I couldn't stand for my presentation. I arrived and My Parents friend were already here but no John.

"I thought that whole thing was about Jo- Nolan, where is he?" I asked cursing myself for almost calling him John.

"He Texted me traffic is bad so he's running late." Lucy said. "What happened to your neck?" Harper asked with a smile "Got a Guy from LA?" "You have a boyfriend?" My mom asked in disbelief "I do and I wanna say imma kill him but I think you will take care of that." I said and the realisation hit Harper "No..." "Yes and I need you to not tell anyone okay" "Harper who is it?" My mother asked. "Oh you are going to figure that one out by yourself I am just gonna get popcorn and enjoy the show." she said and Lucy gave her a look of confusion then realisation and then shock in what my mother is going to do to him as soon as she finds out.

Nolan was enjoying a beer and a talk with my dad when my mother interrupted "Nolan question, do you know who my daughters boyfriend is?" She asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world John on the other hand was white as a ghost. "Why would I know that I barely see her I didn't even know she's here hi btw it's good to see you again, now I'm going to get a beer you want one?" He asked pointing at me "Yes I would love to and get my mother also one." Once John was gone a turned to my mom "Where is dad?" "Oh he is in the back Jard showing James his knew grill" My mum and Harper chuckled "What is it with Dads and Grills?" I that moment John came back and handed me mine and my mom's beer, when he handed me mine he said: "Here you go Honey-" That's when everyone froze. "Nolan, I am going to kill you!" "Oh God I would run amor" And with that John ran to the other guys and try to hide. We all started laughing.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode three thoughts

NIKO MY GIRL NIKO. i love her so much holy shit. she's just so effortlessly charming and so deeply, sincerely kind 😭 i would kill for her good lord the scene after they leave the devlin house? she was so scared for completely understandable reasons (i would not want to go to a house with an axe murderer ghost either, and she almost just died like the day before on top of that!) but she suits up and braves a Goddamn Coastal Storm (seriously, it was dark when she left and light when she found them meaning she was out there alone in the dark storm for a little while Minimum) to help her friends!! it's like. yeah she's pretty naive and easily scared (again, Reasonably so), but also she cares so goddamn much about her friends. im gonna cry dude

also this episode really is giving me everything i asked for huh. i asked for niko joining the gang and changing their dynamics, and we got that incredibly sweet scene with edwin at the library. i asked for the bickering to stay while dynamics grow and evolve, and edwin & crystal have a scene where they still snipe at each other while working well together to rescue charles and appreciating each other's skills and knowledge. i asked for charles backstory, and holy shit. this show really does have it all huh

okay speaking of charles. i love love love what we got this episode. i mean yeah i kinda guessed his dad wasn't great from what he'd said before, but i was also second-guessing myself a little because well, if he was that bad charles probably wouldn't be checking on him to make sure he's okay, right? and then we get that reveal, and damn. god it was so cool to see something actually really hit charles, because he's mostly a chill guy! sure, he's gotten annoyed and stuff, but it never seems to last long and i've been really looking forward to seeing what'll break that composure. this episode did not disappoint holy shit

speaking of which. idk if it was just the dad's abuse that was affecting him so much... this is an odd theory, but hear me out. it's making me kind of wonder if the reason he was so deeply affected was because his dad was involved with his death somehow. iirc his cause of death was drowning or something? hypothermia maybe i do not remember but i remember something about injuries like broken ribs or something. and i dunno i'm starting to wonder if those injuries were from his dad and they contributed to his death. or maybe im completely wrong and it hit him so hard to see a man kill his wife and daughters because he's spent the decades since his death afraid his dad will do that to his mom! who knows! only time will tell, but i am so intrigued

also i actually really love that him repressing so much doesn't get resolved. like yes girl keep deflecting from your trauma until you get overwhelmed and have a messy breakdown where everything explodes. and like yeah his friends know he's keeping shit to himself now, but that's. really not something it's easy to bring up so really the most they can do is let him know they're there for him and keep an eye out. which is probably harder to do with So Many Goddamn Enemies.

like okay let's count we've got esther + monty, crystal's demon ex, death's scottish secretary (idk her name or job sorry. the lady who played the witch mom on supernatural. rowena??? girl idk i didn't finish s5), the cat king (not necessarily evil but he is literally keeping them trapped so), miscellaneous enemies/villains each episode like the sprites or the misery wraith (terrifying btw! i Do Not like that thing on a personal level but i appreciate it thematically ���), and ALSO Literal Death is basically looming over them as an existential and also very literal threat. girl this is crazy there is So Much going on how the fuck is this show only 8 episodes

crystal's memories... i actually really like that she might've been an asshole. like yeah you could argue her ex was influencing her (either supernaturally or just like peer pressure) but i actually think it's more interesting if he wasn't and she was just willing to be an asshole. and also maybe endanger people's lives?? idk what was up with dropping a large rock on moving cars but it didn't seem like anyone died bc he would for sure have leveraged that against her so. but i just think it's more interesting and compelling if she has to deal with like... yeah she was an asshole. what now? she can't change it, she's just got to live with it and choose to do better

also back to charles bc that scene will not stay out of my head. his actor is so good... the subtle emotional nuance in his facial expressions... i may need to rewatch the episode everything about his acting is so good. also charles getting stuck in the loop was fucking chilling- i didn't expect hitting the dad to work really, I thought it'd do nothing or go through him, but when he caught the cricket bat and hit charles with the axe i actually gasped. and then just sitting there unmoving and unseeing until the loop restarts and he vanishes... girl that was terrifying. like would they kill off charles like that? no I don't believe so, not in episode 3 of 8. however it was genuinely scary i didn't know if something fucked up would happen that he'd need a while to recover from or something. im glad he's okay physically at least, even if mentally is debatable :')

monty... what do i say about monty. he's cute and so awkwardly charming- if we hadn't seen that he's esther's familiar i would've been rooting for him to be a side character who shows up every now and then, kinda like jenny y'know? but because we know he's part of her revenge, i'm spending his scenes side-eyeing him like hey. the hell is that about. however i will say it's better knowing so we can stress about what his plan is instead of having him introduced as just a guy and then being a traitor or something. idk i like the dread and suspicion! it's a quality writing choice

i will say though, there's one thing about him that's making me side-eye him even harder. why did he antagonize charles? if he's trying to ingratiate himself with the boys + crystal and earn their trust, being a dick to one of them won't help. does esther's plan rely on isolating edwin? why? and if it's not her plan, why is he singling out edwin specifically? idk many questions lots to consider!!

in conclusion, this is such a good show and each episode just keeps getting better. i'm jumping right into episode four, i just wanted to organize my thoughts here first haha

[saltyskeletonkidpasta]

I dont get why people like jack gibson. Not only do I think he's annoying and irrelevant I also think he so so gross and creepy and somehow the writers and fans love him?

I just cannot get over him implying he didn't need p*rn after maya made a comment about her and carina in the next room. Like hello these are supposed to be your friends have some respect it's not hard to not be creepy. And like dropping the pot of sp**m all over the carpet and he didnt even clean it him clean it up they made maya do it...absolutely revolting how the HELL is that supposed to be funny? If you found 5x16 funny please stay away from me I dont trust you. And to top it off another gross seed joke..which we already had like him giving them flowers would've been sweet but he immediately ruined it unnecessarily, and him making the entire thing abt himself like I dont wanna know what kind of porn he's into, I dont care abt what he wants/his involvement. I dont get how people think he is so kind and considerate like have you ever heard him talk? The locker room scene fe pissed me off so much like at what point was any of that to do with helping his friends out? It was all me me me..that was his whole motivation. He even went as far to call marina's potential kid a "little him" which after maya melted at the idea of a little CARINA that's like..devastating then was banging on about his "legacy" or whatever like mate this isnt abt you..even in 5x16 maya and carina having their discussion abt a pretty serious issue (being their trust) and jack just butts in like "uhhh well this isnt helping MY issue tho like seriously? Idk why the writers had to make Jack's bio family appear in that way like could they not do it ANY other way? And even if they really did have to do it that way there is no excuse for ALL of the focus to be in HIM and what HE wants and the disgusting dialogue used along with the annialation of carina's character. No one in there right mind would go for that and they even went as far to have carina freak out abt the idea of him NOT being involved right infront of maya aswell? That is so disrespectful to maya and to carina's character and to queer women in general. Carina had always been the smart independent mature one so fuck knows what the writers were thinking? And then it was all completely irrelevant anyway. They didnt even really delve into Jack's bio fam much and carina barely even cared he left.

Also he eats chicken in literally the grossest way I've ever seen then put the bone in the BEDROOM BIN like that is just gross who tf does that especially when it's not even your own house?

And he literally stood right outside marina's bedroom door while they were having sex and after his previous gross comment abt him being able to get off on that..that's disgusting🤢 I dont get what the writers were thinking like they do know who their audience is right? I dont get how they can read over anything in that storyline and think "oh yeah this is so good people will love this"💀 that's actually embarrassing for them but also they're disgusting for even trying it. Ngl I'm pretty sure queer women dont like being fetishised by straight men and like having sex in the same vicinity esp after comments like that..I mean he even asked maya if carina was like "good and ready" or something like bruh..you dont ask that!? I'm sorry but I dont care how awkward he is, I'm very awkward myself but I'm not creepy. It's just human decency to respect boundaries and not say things like that but jack had never respected boundaries throughout the entire show but this was the worst of what we saw of him but they didnt even have him leave afterwards😭 literally all they had to do was change Maya's line slightly like no dont go play music loudly get the fuck out!

That and exposing marinas private info to andy AND vic without permission..he had absolutely no right to tell them especially andy as it was really soon after and marina specifically said they wanted to wait and discuss things further before the next steps and he just blurted it out first chance he got.i really wish they'd let them have a go at him for that. Okay marina should've been much more clear and set proper boundaries beforehand and it would've been nice if paperwork was mentioned but still he is supposedly a "trustworthy guy" (despite him always being the least reliable and most likely to cause trouble on the team since day 1 but the writers were hell bent on giving him another redemption arc) and that is such a break of trust. Then with no consideration to the team or any of his friends just bails without a warning and left the station leaving andy at one of the most traumatic times of her life and left little pru after she lost her dad and lied to everyone yet was literally down the street for like 3 months...

He bailed on the clinic after like 2 sessions of it being open then ben and carina carried it to keep it going they could've very easily let it go under especially carina as she doenst even work at the station? Yet first thing he does when he sees it again is criticise..its not like they were scaring people off the clinic always looked super busy? He is just so ungrateful to what he has.

He made maya's injury all abt himself in 6x07 and how hard it would be for HIM to lose her and was confiding in he literal wife abt this then didnt even go and visit maya in hospital or find out if she was okay? And dont get me started on the whole pam thing in 6x09..listen I didnt like pam but you cant just go peeking in a private medical cubicle especially when you literally k ow there is a pregnant woman in there?!? And the absolute AUDACITY to accuse carina of cheating with his track record. So glad ben put him in his place especially when he implied he'd interfere if it was ben and bailey aswell like how fucking rude are you? but then it ended with him getting coddled again with him being sad boi :( and ben being like "dont worry you arent losing ur family" like this isnt abt you jack..also YOU are the one who bailed on the team and keeps disrupting its trust..? Thays just being a hypocrite like what abt you and andy, You and eva, you and maya, you and vic you and eva AGAIN? Like he was criticising carina when less than a month before he was sleeping with his dead teammates wife who he also slept with when he was still alive and was some what to blame for his death?

I hate him idc what anyone says he is the worst character simply bc he was so unnecessary. Like the only way the writers could keep him relevant was shoving him into business he didnt belong in.

[system-comforts]

i’m questioning if i’m a system but i really have no idea? like i have some stuff that might be system-y but it also might be nothing idk.

to preface the next bit i’m not asking you to like. definitively tell me if i’m a system or something obviously !! i just want to get it all off my chest i guess asfjdgk

reasons i feel like i might be a system:

-> i have different “modes” where i sometimes type differently + my gender feels different (like not by a lot, it’s always masc but different microlabels) + i prefer different names and sometimes different pronouns. …take a shot every time i say different lmao (/joke)

-> i definitely dissociate sometimes and i have memory issues that i think go past what’s normal for adhd? (diagnosed)

-> in like 9th-10th grade i split myself into three “parts” (trans guy part (13-14), kind of in suspended animation/asleep all day and sometimes awake/in control at night while i was on tumblr. bigender part (14-15), handled regular life stuff like being around school and family, the “main” one. cis woman part (18) who perpetuated/handled a very unhealthy/traumatic “coping mechanism” we had at the time. only ever in control while we were engaging in the thing she handled. originally i kept her in a locked room the rest of the time, eventually i let her out and after that she’d like hang around taunting us all day.)

reasons i might not be:

-> i always feel like /me/, just a different me sometimes

-> i haven’t talked to/been aware of an actual different part of myself since about 10th or maybe 11th grade. the closest i’ve been is like. feeling like i was nobody/a kind of indistinct mush idk and thinking about me (one specific “mode” of me) as a separate person. but it wasn’t like he was actually there as a tangible presence, i just felt like he existed separately. like when someone else lives in your house but they’re out running errands or something so they’re not currently there if that makes sense?

-> like i said, i have a tendency to kinda just steal personality traits from characters i like. right now i’m in. i’ll say sunshine mode bc i don’t wanna put one of my actual names on here. but suffice to say it’s a similar personality to a “golden retriever” character i’m fixated on

-> i also tend to kinda steal personality traits from people i’m around a lot and one of the friends i’m spending a lot of time with rn is a system so i could be unconsciously copying him

-> the dissociation and memory issues could just be from my depression

Hey there anon, we're glad you felt you could vent about all this to us. We also appreciate the preface, since it's definitely true. It seems like you've been considering this question for a while and put in a lot of thought. What you sent made me think of a few questions. Although I can't say yes or no, I hope some of these questions can give you more food for thought.

Experiencing dissociation, especially more than typical for people or for a disorder, is definitely something to consider when questioning plurality. I would be curious, are there certain times or situations where dissociation happens more or less? Are there certain times or situations when memory loss is more likely? How much and what kind of things can you remember? Skills? Personal facts?

During these different modes, when you prefer different names and pronouns, and type differently, what else is different? Perspectives on the world? Values and beliefs? General interests and tastes? These sorts of things may not change as much, or may change more slowly, for someone who isn't plural. However, this may also be different for young people, who are still finding and building their identity. The sense of feeling "like me, just a different me sometimes" could be from plurality, from other disorders (ex masking), or even just a feeling of being young and growing. I would talk with others in different communities, talk with peers, systems, other neurodivergences. Talk about this feeling, see what they say, and try to find what resonates most with you.

Can you listen to these different parts? Perhaps not direct communication, but do you feel an "foreign" impulses, persistent thoughts that seem to come from nowhere or not yourself?

As one last question, does viewing yourself as part of a system help you understand yourself? Is it a helpful framework, does it make sense, does it fit? Does it help you learn about yourself, or does it still feel not right or limiting, or does it ignore other important information?

I hope some of this helped. It seems you've been working hard at this, so we wish you luck as you continue to question this. Know that it's ok to not know, and it's ok to explore the system community as you continue to question.

-mod saturn

[bubblegump-1-nk]

As She Walks By pt. 2

summary: Theodore and you are just best friends (or not), but when he finally hooks up with the Hufflepuff girl who’s had a crush on him for years, things may start to change

- based off of the song Heather by Conan Gray (a little bit), set in three perspectives: yours, Theos, and the Hufflepuff girl (an OC I called Althenea Circ). I made you a Gryffindor but if you want to change your house just imagine whatever house I want. You’re also kind of a home-wrecker (respect people’s relationships please lol) in this so..

- warnings: insecurity, angst, not really cheating but idk, typos probably, cussing, toxic relationships, time skips (?) - (these warnings apply to the upcoming parts as well, so you might not see some of them in some of the parts, if that makes sense) I think that’s all but tell me if you find anything else pls!

-your POV-

My mouth dried up, and suddenly I felt like I was trapped in a little box.

“Y/n?” Cho asked. She had just told you about the interaction she had overheard. Althenea Circ had asked Theo to Hogsmeade and he said yes. What was wrong with me? Why do I care? Why should I care? I snogged Dean Thomas yesterday, god why am I such a hypocrite.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Cho asked again, interrupting my thoughts.

“Er, uh, yeah, sorry Cho.”

“It’s ok. I just thought I should tell you because, you know, Theo’s your friend.” She said, emphasizing the word ‘friend’ in a weird way. Somehow insinuating we weren’t just friends.

“Yeah, thank you. I’m going to go finish my potions essay now, but, er, I’ll see you later.” I said, quickly getting up from the library table.

“Oh, um, ok? Why not just stay in the library.” She said, giggling at my silly antics.

“Oh, I just have to grab some supplies is all.” I said, stacking my papers crudely just so I could get out quickly.

We said our goodbyes and I was quickly walking down the corridor, hoping to find an empty bathroom. I turned the corridor quickly and entered the girls lavatory and quickly locked myself in the stall.

What was wrong with me? Why did I care? Shouldn’t I be happy for Theo, and Althenea who’s practically been in love with him since forever. Why was I suddenly so possessive. None of his other flings have made me feel this way. I was being unfair. I snog whoever I want, he can do the same, right?

-Althenea’s POV-

I was getting ready in my dorm, my best friend Wesley was helping me get ready for my date with Theodore Nott. THE Theodore Nott. I seriously could not believe it.

“And his arms were around my waist, and god- he is such a good kisser.” I gushed to my friend, who was curling my hair.

“I know. I seriously could not believe it when he came up to you. I mean I’d always thought him and y/n were going to end up together.”

A sour taste entered my mouth and I fell silent - y/n. Oh Merlin how I hated her.

“Yeah,” I said with a fake laugh. “She’s nice.” I said, because she really was. One time in fourth year she helped me with my Charms Essay. But oh god how I hated her.

“Her and Theo are always together. Honestly you’d think they were soulmates!” Said Wesley.

“Ok, I get it. You think they belong together. Whatever.” I said, frustrated with my friend.

“Oh Merlin- I’m sorry A, I didn’t even realize what I was saying.” She said, suddenly realizing what she was really saying and who she was really saying it to.

“Don’t worry, I get it. I mean she is perfect” I said quietly, looking down.

“Oh come on Althenea. You know I didn’t mean it like that. Plus, you’re the one going out with him.” She said, squeezing my shoulder lightly.

“Exactly!” I said, happily.

-Theo’s POV-

I was sitting in my comfy bed, reading my good book, in my comfy sweater when Blaise interrupted me.

“Oi mate you’re still here? I thought you were supposed to go out with that, uh, Athena girl?” He said, forgetting her name.

“Holy shit!” I yelled, practically jumping out from under the covers.

“I totally forgot about that.” I said, rushing to the mirror to check how I looked.

I was wearing my quidditch sweater and some black sweatpants - that should be good for the date right? Well whatever, it’s not like I cared anyway.

“Thanks for reminding me, I guess.” I said, adding the last part as I ran out the door.

I rushed to the Hufflepuff common room, that’s what house she was in right? As I was running I bumped harshly into someone, causing them to fall backwards. I looked down and saw her, Althenea. Looking rather… mediocre.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” I said, helping her up.

“Oh don’t worry about it really. It’s sort of funny!” She said.

“Er, yeah, I guess so.” I said, scratching the back of my neck.

“Well, are you ready? I was thinking the Three Broomsticks, of course, but if you don’t like that than we could of course-“

I cut off her rambling, her stupid rambling, by saying “Three Broomsticks is fine.”

-At the pub-

“…and then I said that we should have trolls in the bathroom!” Althenea said, telling me a story I was trying so hard to be focused on.

I let out a dry chuckle before saying, “Do you want anything else?” Nodding my head down to her empty plate of food.

“Oh, no thank you! It was really nice of you to pay, you know.” She said, beaming.

“Er, yeah, it was no problem.”

We were silent for a minute or two before I said, “well, it’s getting sort of late and I have to finish up some homework.”

“Oh, yeah of course! Me too. I cant keep putting off those essays!” She said, giggling. She didn’t even think it was weird that I had said it ‘was late’ at 3 in the afternoon.

We finished up at the table and started to walk back, Althenea walking a little too close to me.

“So… what homework do you have to work on?” She asked, trying to fill the void of silence.

“Er, potions and transfigurations.” I said, saying the first two subjects I could think of.

“Me too! Maybe we could work on them together?” She asked, overly exited.

“Oh, well, um, I usually do my homework alone, sorry.” I responded, looking down at her.

“Oh, yeah, how stupid of me!” She said, lightly slapping her forehead.

Before I knew it we were back at the castle and we parted ways, not before she kissed me on the cheek. She skipped away after her lips left my side, and I just stood there dumbstruck. You know, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. I could finally get my mind off of you, someone I could never have, and Althenea wasn’t all that bad really.

-your POV-

“I’m done with him. Really.” I told Hermione, adding the last part after she gave me a strange look.

“We’re just friends. This jealousy is just forming out of something possessive, nothing else. It’s not fair of me to do that to him. Plus, she seems like a nice girl.” I continued, ranting to Hermione.

“I’m glad. The quicker you get over this the easier your life will get.” She responded.

“Exactly! I don’t want anything weird going on in our friendship and this new relationship will not be the end of Theo and I’s lifelong friendship.” I said.

-At Dinner-

“I still can’t believe it. Theodore Nott with that Hufflepuff, it just doesn’t fit.” Said Ron, loading his already overflowing plate with more food.

Theodore Nott and Althenea Circ’s date had been the talk of the night, already having been spread around all of Hogwarts.

“Did he say anything to you y/n?” Harry asked, pouring me more pumpkin juice after he noticed that I had finished my cup.

“Thank you, and, er, no. We didn’t really talk about it. You know, now that I think of it, we haven’t talked since the party.” I said, remembering my last conversation with Teddy.

“Interesting.” Said Ron, taking a bite out of his Shepard’s pie.

“It really isn’t. Nothings going on, we’ve just been busy.” I responded, aggravated by his comment.

“I’m sure you’re right, y/n. There’s nothing wrong.” Hermione said, reassuring me.

“Thanks ‘minoe.” I said, sending her a smile.

“Why don’t you go talk to him bow. Go over there and tell them all about what we heard Snape talking about.” Said Harry, trying to help me out.

“Good idea! I’ll go do it now, just to make sure there’s no tension or anything.” I said, getting up from the Gryffindor table to go tell the Slytherins about Snape saying he had always thought Sirius Black was cute.

As I began walking over to the Slytherin table, I noticed a pair of eyes on me. I turned and saw Althenea glaring at me from her table. Suddenly, she got up, and walked very quickly over to the Slytherin’s table, and sat down right next to Theo.

I stood their shocked, surely she didn’t think of me as competition right? The Slytherin friend group looked uncomfortable, but no one looked more uncomfortable than Theo. He looked around, wondering what made Circ think she could come sit with them. I saw his eyes go to the Gryffindor table, to look for me. When he didn’t find them, he looked away, but he quickly locked eyes with mine after another quick scan of the room. He sent me a smile, and a small ‘help’.

I smiled back, and began walking towards their table after my delay. I wasn’t going to let some insecure bitch ruin my friendships.

“Y/n! Thank god.” Said Mattheo, eyes darting to the Hufflepuff quickly.

“Hey guys. You won’t believe what I heard.” I said.

Theo subtly pushed Althenea away, making room for me next to him. But I wasn’t going to be that girl. So, instead I sat next to Draco. Theo looked at me confused, and I whispered just loud enough for him to hear “the Hufflepuff.” He nodded his understanding but looked sad anyway.

“Ok well tell us!” Said Pansy, reaching over the table to play with my rings.

“Well, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I were walking down the corridor when we heard Snape talking to Mcgonagall. So, obviously we eavesdropped on their conversation and Snape said ‘you know, Sirius Black was always cute. I think that’s why I hated him.’”

The group burst out laughing, all except for Althenea.

“Sirius Black? Like the murderer?” She asked, confused as to why we were all amused.

The group all knew Sirius was innocent, but I couldn’t spill information like that to Althenea, not without Harry’s permission.

“Er, yeah. But they went to school together before he was a murderer.” I explained, causing her to lightly smile to try to fit into the group.

“Ok well, I’ll be going now.” I said getting up, sending Pansy a face that she laughed at before I got up.

“Wait,” Theo said, grabbing my forearm. “Meet me in the astronomy tower later?” He asked, eyes filled with want.

“9:00, don’t be late, Nott.” I said, which he smiled at, before I walked away.

-Theo’s POV-

I stood on the tower at 8:57 PM. I leaned down on the railing, staring out onto the beautiful night sky. The wind ruffled my hair, and I noticed a strong scent of firewood. Suddenly I heard your footsteps, and your sweet perfume filled my nose.

“Hello stranger.” You said, walking up behind me.

I turned around and took a good look at your face. The moon light made you look even more ethereal than I had ever seen you, and I had no idea that was even possible.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You said, turning away from me as you leaned your arms against the railing and looked out at the view.

“Like what?” I asked.

“You know how, Teddy.”

The nickname made my heart swell up, and I didn’t have it in me to fake hating it. I was locked in your trance before you spoke again.

“Plus, I don’t think your girlfriend would be too happy about it.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” I said, it came out angrier than I expected.

You let out a small laugh before saying, “I like her. She’s good to you.”

She’s not as good as you, is what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t.

“Yeah, I guess she is.” Is what I ended up saying instead.

We were both now leaning on the railing, looking out at Hogwarts’ vast territory, our shoulders leaning against each other.

“She’s really pretty too, and she’s sweet.” You said, your sweet voice ringing in my ears.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” I said, chuckling.

“What?” You said, turning to be swiftly, your eyes wide.

“Oh, uh, I only meant that you seem jealous that I’m with her. Because you talk so nicely of her. Like you want her to yourself.” I said, struggling to find an explanation.

“Oh,” you said, you’re demeanor becoming calm again. “You got me there Nott. I’m head over heels for your girl.” You said, giggling, which only made me laugh.

We stood there, laughing like some idiots as we stared out at the beautiful world.

The laughing stopped and you spoke again, “look what I brought.” You said, pulling something out of your pocket.

“Cauldron Cakes! You’re the best, you know that?” I said, grabbing the one you handed me.

We sat down with our backs leaning against the wall, eating our cauldron cakes and talking about everything and nothing. That’s the thing about you, no matter if we were talking about the recent quidditch match or ancient runes for fucks sake, it was never boring, not with you.

The wind was blowing, and I felt you shiver from under my arm.

“Here, have my sweater.” I said, lifting my arm up off your shoulder to take my quidditch sweater off.

“Oh thank you, Theo.” You said, grabbing my sweater and putting it on.

You looked so cute engulfed in my large sweater, with my last name sprawled on the back of it.

“I’ll give it back to you someday.” You said, and I hoped you never gave it back so that everyone would know you were mine. Except your not.

-Altheneas POV (a week later)-

Theo and I have been… dating(?) for a week now. I didn’t know what to call it. He hadn’t asked me out yet, but we’ve been going out on dates, and I’ve spent two nights under him already. He was starting to let me hold his hand more, but he kept saying public affection wasn’t really his thing. Except that, it always had been. Theodore Nott was known for being a softie when it came to his girlfriends, especially when it came to his girl-friend y/n. But people change, right?

Wesley has been reassuring me, but my other friend Quincy keeps telling me to get away from him. I don’t care though, Theo is mine now. For the most part.

“Hey, can you pass me your notes?” Whispered Quincy, taking me out of my thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” I said, sliding them over, trying to focus on the lesson.

“You’re the best.” She whispered back, sending me a smile.

…

Class ended after what felt like hours and it was finally time for lunch. Quincy and I met up with Wesley before we began walking to the Dining Hall.

“Yeah, and I heard that Avanore and Seamus hooked up.” Said Wesley.

“Avanore Dorian? Isn’t she dating Hermes?” I asked, shocked at the news.

“You bet she is. And if it’s true Seamus is in for one hell of a beating.” She responded.

Suddenly, Quincy stopped, holding both of their arms out to stop Wes and I.

“What?” I said, exasperated.

“Um..” She said.

Wesley and I looked around, trying to find the reason for Quincy’s abruptness. Wesley found it first.

“Oh my.. Are you still with Theo, A?” She asked, mouth agape.

I suddenly became very nervous, “yeah.” I said, worried.

“Look. At. That.” Wesley said, pointing to someone.

I followed her finger and when I found the object of her pointing my mouth fell open.

It was you, y/n l/n, wearing my boy’s quidditch sweater. His name sprawled out boldly on the back. How could you be walking to lunch, chatting and laughing with your friend so calmly knowing that you’re wearing another girl’s boyfriend’s sweater.

“Move please.” Said a voice, belonging to Pansy Parkinson, as she pushed past my stopped figure.

“Y/n, Hermione, wait up!” She said, causing you two to stop and wait for her.

“I like the sweater.” She said, sending you a wink.

“I know right!” Responded Hermione, giving you a playful nudge on the shoulder.

“Guys, it’s just friendly! Plus he’s with that other girl.” You said.

I couldn’t believe it. ‘That other girl’?? Seriously?? You couldn’t even say my name. I seriously couldn’t believe it. My eyes began to well up with tears.

“I’m not so hungry anymore.” Said Quincy.

“Me neither.” Said Wesley.

-your POV (later that night)-

I walked into the library, looking for Althenea.

I felt bad for what happened today, I didn’t realize it would be such a big deal. I mean, everyone knew Theo and I were best friends, and it wasn’t uncommon for me to wear his clothes. But after Hannah Abbot told me that I had made you sob, I felt terrible. And I was on a mission to find you.

I spotted you sitting in the back, with your friends Quincy and Wesley.

I walked over to your table, and cleared my throat. The girls looked up at me: Quincy was sending me a death stare, Wesley had a pathetic attempt at a glare, and you couldn’t even look me in the eye.

“Is this seat open?” I asked, pointing to the empty seat at the table.

Quincy began to say no, covering the seat with her hand but you spoke up, “yeah. It is.”

The two other girls were shocked, sending her looks of ‘are you sure??’ Which she nodded to.

“Thanks.” I said, sitting down.

We sat in silence for a few beats before I finally said, “look I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to feel insecure or anything. I’m not trying to take Teddy from you, definitely not. He’s all yours. We’re just best friends, and we have been since forever, but it’s not like that. I was only wearing his sweater because he gave it to me at the astronomy tower a week ago and it was the first thing I grabbed since I was late for class today. And trust me, you have nothing to worry about. You’re beautiful, and smart, everything Theo likes. So, really, I am sorry. But believe me when I say it was a misunderstanding. So… here.” I said, taking the sweater off and handing it to you. The three girls looked at me surprised, but I quickly got up before they could say anything.

“Thank you!” You called out as I was leaving the library, and I sent you a thumbs up as I walked out the door.

I hate being this part but it’s getting soo long so part 3 (hopefully I can write it quickly :))

[symptoms-syndrome]

Hi! I’m curious to hear (in a vague way) what the process was like uncovering the DID if you’re comfortable answering. Like how long did it take? Did your therapist(s)/treatment team first consider other diagnoses? And anything else you feel comfortable sharing.

Hihi! This is sort of a hard question to answer for me, but I can try!

What constitutes my "treatment team" is sort of hard to define in this sense, because IDK if you mean "the ppl over the course of my life" or like "the one who wrote it on paper."

I've been seeing a therapist since I was 6 years old. I started going to outpatient programs like when I was in my early teens for Behavioral Problems. In those I was diagnosed with everything in the book so like. In that sense other diagnoses were considered? I think by the time I was 18 and kicked out of the house/able to see a professional of my own volition not connected to my parents/disciplinary programs, I was mostly labeled as BPD, PTSD, depression + anxiety, OCD, maybe NPD or ODD. I don't really give a single shit about any of those because I don't define myself by diagnoses anymore, or try not to, and my therapists as an adult told me it was majorly fucked that I was diagnosed with all that as a teenager. Most of them weren't even legit they were just labels to try and pin down why I was a Bad Kid. Spoiler for that, the answer was that generally teenagers act out when they're subject to intense trauma basically all the time and aren't listened to and are institutionalized. Tends to fuck your brain up real bad. I'm a lot better now not bc I got over the laundry list of diagnoses, but because I'm in like. A stable and supportive and independent environment.

I was officially diagnosed as an adult, exact ages escape me but probably like 19? It came as a surprise to me but fit like a glove re: my experiences with memory loss, not remembering where I am, meeting people who have met me before but I didn't remember, people telling me I did things I don't think I would, etc. It was really upsetting to hear because it's such a. Permanent and perception-of-life altering disorder. I was definitely hoping it was something that could be like. Cured more easily. It was also definitely hard to come to terms with the fact my childhood was That Bad, when I didn't really think it was before.

My therapist at the time said it was almost stupidly obvious that was what I had, even tho I wasn't like. Aware of it.

So like. How long did it take is hard to answer. Overall, if you count all the time I was being seen by psychiatric "professionals?" Over 10 years. If you count just that therapist? Like one year.

I'm a lil scatterbrained RN, so I might add more detail later or if u send another ask. I guess the question is so open and vague it's hard to answer without a full autobiography LMAO.

But I guess it would be useful to know why you wanna know. Then I could probably give a better answer. Are you considering the diagnosis for yourself? Are you trying to see if ur experience is shared w others? But also keep in mind I'm a weird little anti-psych dog who in general rejects the idea of seeking diagnosis for treatment. RN in therapy I mostly talk about my day to day struggles with whatever (like "damn, I've been really fixated on [specific trauma] this week" or "I made a friend" or "I'm really stressed about this argument I had" or "later this week im going on a date and i don't wanna fuck it up") and occasionally parts stuff comes up. Therapy hasn't majorly changed I don't think. Then again I'm real shit brain right now and my memory sucks ass. Maybe I can answer better later I just know if I didn't answer at all I'd forget.

[tohjwcc]

Who am I? INTRODUCTION

Alright, so I've been here for like..half a year now? I actually don't entirely know, but ish 6 months. But I feel like I want to introduce myself. Idk why.

- So. Hi. I'm tohjwcc.. I honestly wanna change it, but I'm scared people won't recognize me if I do so haha. So, I guess I'm stuck with it for a lil while longer. Guess I'm just a "normal" (heck I'm not, I'm weird as f-) teenager...ehm, well, going to highschool after summer. Yasammy/cc/ct nerd, basically.

- My personality is complicated. For any camp cretaceous fan, I can easily describe myself as a softer version of Yaz. I have a strong Yaz side, but another big piece of my personality is just quirky and weird and funny (people say I'm funny.. so I hope they're telling the truth lol). But also, I've been told... SO. MANY. TIMES.... That I'm too nice for my own good. I'm kind and nice to everyone. I can't be mean to anyone. At least not on purpose. That is one thing that separates me and Yaz from being completely identical (personalitywise) (which again isn't entirely true, my quirky and weird side is bigger than my serious/Yaz side. I'm basically the yasammy icon. That quirky side could be referred to as Sammy lol.) But ofc there are other small stuff that also separates us two a little but yeah. (Tbh idk... I haven't really figured myself out yet. Idk what I am like, I just wanna be like Yaz cuz I love her so deeply and I can really relate to her in so many different ways. Idk, maybe I'm just not like her at all. Maybe I just wanna be like her...? Ugh, I don't know, I don't know myself. Dang it. My dream is to be cool. Like my girl Yaz. Okay, enough rambling).

- English is sadly not my first/native language, so any bad grammar or wrong wording could appear, so I apologize for that. I also like to make up new words, so if there's a word you've never heard before, it's probably one of my new creations. Confusion can appear, you've been warned.

- On this blog.. is it a blog? I don't even know. Anyways, on this account thingy I mostly post about camp cretaceous/chaos theory. That is where my main interest is. That leads us to my next.. ugh, me and words. I don't even know what it's called in my language. Paragraph, maybe? Let's go with that. That leads us to my next paragraph.

- Favorite shows. I've got a LOT, but the ones that might appear on this account are probably just Jwct/jwcc and the owl house. There's a chance like stranger things and heartstopper could be joining us too. I know nothing. I could be posting/reblogging random crap as well, so nothing is for sure.

- I started watching camp cretaceous when season 3 had been released. I was in my "Jurassic world era", so I had been watching all the Jurassic world movies (ish), so I guess I just wanted to rewatch some of them again, and then I saw it. "Jurassic world camp cretaceous". I was like "OoO". I began to watch it, and fell in love with it IMMEDIATELY. Also, a funny fun fact, I started watching it when I was 12. And now I'm 15. This means I was as old as the youngest character when I started watching it, and I am NOW as old as the OLDEST characters are in the show. This show has been with me through all my teenage years so far. I'm so greatful for this show and these campers. They helped me through so much, and I could never thank them enough.

-The jwcc character i can relate most to is Yaz. 10000%. Like I said before, she is so me. My friend says I'm a Yaz, and she once said I even looked like Yaz, which is cool, but idk how cuz I'm not a brunette haha. But these are the bestest compliments I've ever gotten.

Shoutout to anyone who even bothers to read this lmao. I might add stuff to this later, who knows.

Have a great day ^^