#I’ve had multiple times people saying I’m too silent which to me is total bullshit but anyway

[junova]

↬ 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐭 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract: the one where steve finds your love letters.

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader

word count: 3K+

warnings: cussing, fluff, angst, crying, slight self-deprecation.

[author’s note]: hey guys! i’m really new to the writing scene so kind words are appreciated! srsly just testing my writing style out and wanted to just post something to motivate me to keep writing. hope u like it. <3

also thank u ari for the inspo and that bomb ass album that saved twenty-twenty. now we just need biden to get elected.

ps. don’t forget to vote! <3

Stevie,

First and foremost, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have become the man you’ve said you become, the one I always knew you would. You have finally seen what the rest of us see.

A good man.

The soul you carry within you shines brighter than I’ve ever seen. Just for that only, I’m thankful for the time we’ve spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you this without hiding behind the comfort of this notebook. She won’t spill my secrets, fortunate for me.

Some days you have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I think it’s on the days I discover a new fleck of green in your eyes or maybe when you show up to class with a cup of coffee for me without request.

More. More. More.

More. More. More.

It’s selfish of me, that much I know. More days than not, I would say you give too much of yourself away. Always wanting to appease everyone, you, Steven Rogers, the bridge to making the people around you happier than they walked in. Even when Bucky drags you into his nonsense bullshit, you say yes without hesitation.

I’ve got not a a clue on how you continue on, how you still remain you when you tend to spread yourself so thin. Who watches out for you? Who cares for you? Who loves the almighty, selfless Rogers?

For me, it’s much easier to pretend you carry too much on your plate than to deal with the rejection I would receive from you. You’re just too good, more than I deserve. More than I would be willing to take. I know I couldn’t possibly give you what you deserve but, I hope that one day you might see me differently. You would see me more than the light I’ve painted myself in.

Even though the shade is lovely, I want to be deeper. Deeper into you on a level which only seems unattainable at this point.

A forever friend. To be in your life, just as a friend, is an reward in itself.

But someday I hope you would love me in the same way I do. It’s all a love struck girl could do. Hope for the best, bet be prepared for the downfall.

With much love, your forever friend.

Tearing the page away from the binding of the overfilled notebook, dispensing it in the first empty drawer you could find, you abandoned the feelings as soon as the pen’s ink bleed out dry.

“You know it would just be easier to tell him how you feel.” You peaked up at the sound of her voice, before realizing she was looming over you, watching your write the letter.

Your supposed, secret letter.

“Nat, please. No.” Opening the drawer, she grabbed the letter but was surprised with just how many she found.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve written about him multiple times?” You sank in the soft, plush material of your seat hoping that just maybe it would begin to swallow you whole. Hopefully, fast enough were you wouldn’t have to endure the rest of the conversation. One you had been trying to avoid, for the past three years.

“It’s nothing Nat, just forget it.” Just like a Romanov, she couldn’t leave it alone. Even if she tried it was laced in her blood to see any little thing through.

“You really shouldn’t wait so long. A window might close for you, much sooner than you think.” With a curious eyebrow lifted, you felt your breath leave you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Steve certainly deserved the best and you knew it was only time for him to figure out you would never be enough for him.

“Peggy Carter.” Peggy.

The one girl of a sea of many who had been enamored by Steve. He never really seemed to spend anytime with the women who vied for his attention, but Peggy was surely different than the rest.

Even if Steve was oblivious when it came to the advances everyone would make on him, he saw Peggy. Considering she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, she intimidated you. God, did she ever.

On numerous occasions she and Steve had gone out, and even though he assured you they were just friends you were starting to believe he was only trying to protect your feelings. As a friend.

He had never cancelled on you once for her and he would tell you if he had started to date someone, just like he had before.

Even though the entire three years you’d known him he only had one serious girlfriend and after eight months, the pair broke up and even now he still didn’t budge on why they broke up.

“Steve can do whatever he wants with her. He’s a single man. He’s gone out with her before and he’ll probably go with her again.” Then Sam was the next to speak up, dismissing the total bullshit spouting from your mouth.

“Can’t you see he doesn’t want to? The damn man follows you around like a goddamn puppy.” Okay, when did he even come in here?

“God, fuck, no he doesn’t. He would have said something by now, he’s had three years and it’s been nothing but radio silence.” With an all knowing smirk, Sam proposed a new concept into question.

“It has been three years. So, have you ever said anything to him?”

Shit. Fuck you, Wilson.

“W-Well, not exactly.” Sam didn’t have to say anything in response. You knew he was right and you hated it.

Your unwillingness still stood for you, there was just no way he actually would reciprocate your feelings.

“Listen, I think it would be really good for the both of you to air everything out. Peggy is sinking her claws in him and it isn’t too long before they get stuck. Just talk to him.” You nodded silently, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the courage to.

—

Emptiness.

It’s all you seemed to feel today. Following you around was a dark cloud, looming over you. Wishing you could be anywhere but your own body. Nothing in particular happened to make you deserve the feeling you were granted with. It just so happened to be one of those days.

From the moment you got out of bed — or rather stayed in bed until four in the afternoon, you felt like anything you would have done just didn’t feel enough. The feeling was fleeting, never staying for more than a day or so, but it made the day drag on. Never ending.

Your muscles sore, body aching from the lack of activity your presumed. Or maybe you had built it in your head too.

Thankfully for you, Nat was busy helping Bucky move into his new place the entire day. She asked if you wanted to help, but mentally you didn’t feel you would be useful for anyone. Simply, telling her you would hang back, claiming you had another an essay to write.

Which you did, you weren’t completely lying, but there was more than your sour mood to blame for your dismissal of social interaction.

You hated to be that girl, the one who needed the presence of men. Specifically, the company of one very beautiful, blue eyed one.

His absence in your life the past few weeks felt heavier on you than you thought it would. You knew from Sam’s intel he had been hanging out with Peggy more and more. He said the two of them were getting close, mercifully sparing you the details.

You hated it’s you’d become. A girl so damn struck over a boy who was giving his attention elsewhere. Upset you were though. Before even if he was busy between classes and his internship at the gallery, he would still text to check up on you.

Now, it was nothing but radio silence letting you draw conclusions on your own. Very, very dangerous territory for you to travel to.

Steve and you are just friends. Get. Over. It.

You thought you’d be alone the rest of the Saturday, especially since it was nearly midnight. Figuring Nat was staying over at Bucky’s and Wanda leaving earlier in early hours of the morning to see her boyfriend for the entire weekend.

Then, an incredibly drunk Steve stumbled into your quaint apartment, the thoughtfully sweetness in him blubbering out with the alcohol flooding through his system. It was like he was on overdrive. More than ready to crash at any given moment.

You had enough when Steve started shamelessly raiding your kitchen, but you remained on the couch attempting to maintain some distance between the two of you. He had a history of being incredibly handsy whenever he had bit too much to drink.

Stumbling his way over to you, almost tripping on the rug, until he was basically cuddling up to your side. His arms latched tightly around you, pulling you into him. Not spared a choice, not that you’d want one.

The security of being wrapped up to him wasn’t something you ever grew tired of. You don’t think there would ever be a time you would ever be capable of turning him away.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been too long.” His soft tone, penetrating the tiny resistance you held towards him. “Me too. I was starting to think you disappeared on me, bubba.”

“Never.” His iron grip holding so tight like he was afraid you’d slip right through.

“Is everything alright?” Trying to pull from him, but Steve seemed unable to let you go. You whispered in his ear, caressing his back.

“I think so.”

“Here, let me grab you cup of joe and some water. Okay? I’ll be right back.” Leaving him a kiss on the cheek, before heading him into the kitchen.

If you had been around him recently, perhaps you would be more in tune with how he was feeling. Then the guilt sept in.

“Sweetheart, do you know where the phone charger is? It’s not by the recliner.” You heard him shout, trying to stop your heart from hammering into your stomach.

Just make him some coffee, sober him up, until he crashes.

Steve always seemed to be a lightweight and somehow whenever he did decide to drink he always found himself routing his way into your home. You thought it was simply for accident alone. The bar he frequented at was only a few block from you.

The past few times he would just stumble into your bedroom, immediately passing out in your soft, silky sheet. Now, he seemed to have more pressing matters at hand.

“Check the drawers, Stevie. I think there’s one you left around here somewhere.” You grabbed the filters and the grounds out, brewing the coffee. Soon, with a black cup of coffee and a water bottle in hand you took note of just how quite he was being.

He was never this silent and it was freaking you out.

“Are you sure you’re o-”

Just like that.

Fuck.

Hunched over, practically on his knees, he read over the endless letters you wrote about him. Confessions never meant to be seen by him. You lost track of how many you had written over the past few years once realized how irrevocably in love with him you are.

He didn’t realize you had found him and you were suddenly paralyzed. Unaware of your presence he continued to read through them and his expression was unrecognizable. One you’d never seen from him before, and you didn’t quite know how to react.

No. He wasn’t grimacing nor did he seem to be elated either. He just stood there just like you, afraid what would happen next.

What did this mean for the two of you? Your entire relationship was purely riding on whatever happened next.

Softly, with a gentle hand, he sifted through them all like he was looking for something specifically. Steve let them fall to the hardwood floors as your shaking hands could no longer support the weight of the dainty coffee cup he had actually sculpted himself.

The glass shattering everywhere, several pieces making their way towards him, thankfully not fiercely enough to penetrate his skin.

Truly, you had never been more sorry than when he looked up at you with tears in his eyes. Threatening to spill over. Because of you.

You didn’t have to be told, you already knew.

Carefully, Steve stood up making his way over to you around the shattered mug. Still you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Simply just watching him until he was right in front of you — more silent than you’d ever seen him before.

“Those were about me. Weren’t they?” You nodded having no reason to lie other than to protect yourself from a rejection you been hoping to spare yourself from.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. Or at all really.” Your resolve dropping instantly when Steve took a step further gripping by your hips, pulling you closer.

“Why not?” He questioned you, again. Almost like he needed a verbal affirmation of every secret he had just read.

Unintentionally, stealing your soul served for him on a silver platter.

“I know how you’d feel about me, Steve. It’s not how I want it to be and it’s okay.” You remove yourself from him, traveling to the other side of the living room. Suddenly, the apartment seemed suffocating with him in it. “I’m fine, Steve.”

Hearing him sigh in frustration only furthered your immense feeling of being a burden to him.

You’re just one more obstacle he has to deal with.

“One of them dated back for over two years ago. Two fucking years.” His harsh tone, piercing through you like a knife.

“I know. I should have told you.” You whispered, wishing you could disappear into any abyss that would take you. Deeply wishing you just didn’t have to endure for the rest of this conversation. Wishing you could have stopped him from opening that stupid drawer. “I tell you everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak about this. Look at how you’re reacting? How could you blame me when every fear I have about this is justified?”

You really should have kept those elsewhere, not your open, public living room.

“Because it’s us. I’m always here for you.” He was still crying through broken words and you didn’t know why. Almost like you had shattered his resolve and his control leaving with it.

“Not lately. You’ve been otherwise occupied.” Suddenly find the plant in the corner of the room. It certainly weren’t trying to distract yourself from the insatiable cerulean eyes.

The breathtaking british woman wasn’t even here and as soon as she was brought up — there was a wall. Seperating, you from whatever was between the two of you.

“This isn’t my fault. You never said anything. How was I supposed to know you feel that way about me?” He tried to make his way towards you but you just stalked off in the other direction. Circling around the living room like a coward.

“It didn’t matter though, did it? You found someone perfect for you regardless of how you feel.” God, you wish he would just leave so you could let the dam break.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Since the moment I met you I only had eyes for you, but you never seemed like you were interested. So, I dropped it. Okay? You never left me a crumb to think you would ever want to be more than just friends.”

“You were my best friend. You still are. No matter how I felt, it could never outweigh the need I have for you to be in my life.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Trying to figure out what was next for the both of you. Steve always had to initiate and this time was no different.

“Peggy told me tonight she wants to be exclusive.” His confession washing over you like a ton of bricks. Crushing you.

You really couldn’t have any ill feeling towards her, she was just doing what you lacked the courage and the tenacity to do.

“But I didn’t really know what to do.” He took quiet steps towards you, not wanting to spook you. He voice not no longer held the a warmth of teddy bear, but a man on a mission rather took over.

Steve kept quiet until he had you backed up into a corner, no escape route in vision for you.

“’Cause there’s this other beautiful woman, absolutely breathtaking — and I just I really needed to know how she felt. If I had known before,  I never would have gone anywhere else.” His hand caressing your soft, plump lips. Pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb, sending you into a frenzy.

“Then, I just wanted to forget about everything until Sam called me. Three beers deep, when he told me of a drawer filled with letters I should take a look at.” You could feel his breath on you, temple pressed against yours.

“I just need to hear you say it. Just once.” Taking it a step forward, intertwining your finger with his own.

“I love you.” It was all he needed as he sealed his own affirmation with a sweet kiss, inking your lips with all of his love.

[codename-adler]

Kevin Day and his Oblivious Literature Lover, pt.V

Let’s all repeat after me: therapizing our faves helps us therapize ourselves! If Kevin can get better, maybe we all can... right? 

>>Table of Contents, TW and other parts here!

the water runs behind the bathroom door for so long that Kevin spaces out in his spot on the floor, losing himself in thoughts about the Foxhole Court (surprise, surprise)

Juliet comes out at last an hour later, freshly showered, her hair wet and springy, her face even paler than before

she goes to rummage through her tiny dresser, slow and silent like a dead walker, and pulls out multiple clothes before going back into the humidity of the bathroom

she finally comes out into the room a few minutes later, dressed in clean sweatpants and multiple t-shirts and sweaters

the one on top is a simple, XXL black hoodie with the PSU logo on the front, in washed out orange

Kevin unconsciously thinks that the blindingly bright orange Exy hoodies the Foxes have would suit her so much better

happy colors help happy thoughts, right? 

(who said that again? was it Nicky? he was probably talking about the gay flag anyways...)

Kevin is pulled from his thoughts when Juliet trudges over to her bed, lets herself fall in it and sluggishly pulls on blue fuzzy socks to warm her cold feet

he slighlty turns to look up at Juliet, and they start a staring contest from where they each sit

but Kevin soon realizes that not everything is a contest, and not everyone exists to challenge him, and Juliet isn’t the Foxes

because she barely lasts 2 seconds before lowering her gaze to her hands, shoulders tensing and fingers picking at dry skin

however, as Kevin keeps feeling out of his depth and thinks about just leaving right there and then, Juliet quietly mumbles

“If I talk, will you talk too?”

Kevin’s first thought is “I don’t have shit to say and I sure as hell wouldn’t give you dirt on me,” and it clearly shows on his face

lucky for him, Juliet’s head is still lowered, so he has time to force himself out of his fight-or-flight relfex

she isn’t the Foxes, she isn’t the Ravens, she isn’t the Foxes, she isn’t the Ravens, she-

but still, what if she is? what if this is all a scam? 

but then again, he looked for her, he found her, he spent the night, he is asking... if anyone’s nosy in all this, it’s him

it feels like at the point where he is, where they are, he’s acted far from his usual, asshole self, and he just wants to keep going... it feels good not to fight

“Yes, I will talk. If the subject stays within the limits of what I’m willing to talk about. You should do so yourself,” Kevin states, not quite softly, but not quite sharply either, like he usually does

Juliet anxiously nods, still not looking up

the silence settles back between them, the room heavy with dread, fear and awkwardness

after a while, Juliet speaks up, barely above a whisper, but in the quiet of her room, it feels like her words ring in Kevin’s ears

“If I google you right now, what am I going to find?”

and shit

anything but that

he wants to hold on so bad, just a little while more, to this nobody he’s managed to keep up with Juliet

because if she knows... then everything he’s managed to keep at bay when he’s with her will come rushing back over him, and over her too

and he doesn’t want that

it’s not shame, it’s not pride

it’s pure fear

“You are going to see very ugly things,” is all he responds, face blank and emptily staring at the wall

inside, though, it stings to say those words. because it isn’t totally the truth. exy is his pride, his reason to live, his air to breathe. but if she finds out about exy, she will also learn about the violence, the multiple “accidents”, she’ll know about Riko...

and if she knows about Riko, she’s one step closer to Riko knowing about her

“Kevin. When you say ‘ugly’, you mean you’ve had a shitty life so far, or you mean you’ve killed many people? Because you’re the man who slept on my floor all night and I’m alone, and I’m very afraid right now.”

of course he fucked it up one question in

what is he supposed to say, though? ‘Of course I’m not a murderer, but my owners are’ ? 

and the more he thinks about the correct answer to give, the more he looks like he’s searching for an excuse and the more Juliet is retreating into the corner of her bed

“Fuck, no. It means that half the cards I’ve been dealt with are extremely good, and the other half is very, very fucked up. And it’s all over the Internet. And the things that you won’t find there are the ugliest. Ugly secrets that make me even more unlikeable to my... roommates, and our classmates. A walking asshole on a stick.”

Juliet stops moving

“That’s… quite the load of bullshit, Kevin. I won’t look, okay? I promise you. But you said truth for truth. That is not a truth. But... you also said we don’t have to answer if we don’t want to. Kevin, you don’t have to. I’ll take your word that you’re not a serial killer. I’ll haunt you if you are, though. I’ll make all your spoons disappear. And kick you in your sleep.”

Kevin didn’t know how to react

it was so… easy

too easy

just like that, the subject was dropped

no pushing, no threatening knife, no mood swing

now it was his turn

somehow he could only think of Matt, of Aaron and their nights out at Eden’s, of Seth…

“Are you on drugs?” was out of his mouth before he could be careful of his tone

it sounded severe, accusing

yet Juliet did not react, not even a little bit

she just kept on looking at him, letting the silence pressure him into guiltily babbling his excuse

“I’ve seen these signs before, okay! And heard about them too. I know what addiction looks like. The sickly pale skin, the mess, the absences, the shutdowns. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what.”

“Like a wounded animal.”

his tone was harsh enough to resemble the attitude he usually reserved for the Foxes

and he knew he’d been too rough when it caused Juliet to draw in a shaky breath

“Wow, you’re really good at that… Ever considered being a detective or a life coach? You’re actually not far from the truth… Jesus,” Juliet exhaled. “I do take drugs. Antidepressants. Strong ones. And I ran out this week. I don’t have the money. You’re currently witnessing a withdrawal combined with a depressive episode. Impressive, huh?”

her voice was so devoid of emotions Kevin was reminded once again of Andrew…

except that her face was a mirror cracked open, her pain palpable in the air between them

his first instinct was to reply ‘What’s wrong with you?’, because he genuinely wanted to know why she had to take such heavy medication at her age, and why she couldn’t afford it anymore, but he willed himself to let the words die on his tongue; try not to be a fuckup this time, will you?

however, before Kevin could formulate his thought correctly, the silence overworked Juliet too and she filled it with her story...

“I was diagnosed with dysthymia a couple of months ago. I’ve basically been stuck in a dark cloud since I was like, 15. Never went away. Wasn’t ‘serious’ enough to get medical attention, like the docs said. Fast forward last winter, I had a complete nervous breakdown at my workplace. It was pretty ugly. 911, ambulance, psych ward, psych eval, pills, and other… things. Oh, and a fuckload of bills. Even my scholarship doesn’t cover all of that. So I tried to make my prescriptions last longer by taking my medication every other day, which… Well, not recommended by your local psychiatrist. Last weekend I had to choose between groceries or pills. Now my body is missing its drugs and I’m missing major classes. So…  Ta-da…” she told Kevin, her arms slowly moving as if to present a show.

Kevin was speechless

not because he was shocked, or because he pitied her, or because he was disgusted

he was speechless because of the anger that choked him from inside

he felt such a rage at the idea that Juliet couldn’t receive the help she needed, the care she deserved

he was speechless because as anger consumed him, he realized that it was the same anger he’d felt when Jean was given back to him in pieces

he was speechless because he cared too much, now

he hadn’t even seen it coming

if Juliet were to be pulled away now, it’d feel like pulling every stitches he ever had

and all it had taken was a few months

[carnistirs]

retrouvailles

↳ @taangweek 2020 Day 4: Future

This one could go for past as well, but I’m dropping this today because the setting’s technically in the future. Here’s 7k+ words of Aang and Toph being soulmates.  

Read it on ao3 or under the cut

retrouvailles {French} the happiness you feel upon reuniting with someone after you've been apart for a long time

‘

“Are you alright, miss?” a voice asks, soft in the clamor of the snack aisle—

It’s violent, the way Toph’s ripped away from her little daydream, and her body’s still flinching as her eyes and ears slowly readjust to the people around her. There are no flying bisons and wingled lemurs here because they don’t exist, because she’s in a goddamn grocery store.

She tiredly lifts her gaze up – all the way up – to an angelic figure leaning over her, what with the lovely features and the bright light brimming around his shaved head. He’s all broad shoulders and lithe muscles and effulgent tattoos, and even though he looks like an incredibly kind person, something about him sets her teeth on edge. Like she should know him by now even if she’s never met this man in her life.

“Was I blocking you,” she replies, unable to help the flatness of her voice. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Toph moves to walk around him, oddly reluctant.

“No, wait—” the guy blurts out, panicked, his nimble fingers reaching out to curl lightly around her shoulder blade—

And they say it’s like nothing else matters, that touching your soulmate for the first time is like sating a hunger you never knew you had.

She’s always thought that was a fat load of bullshit – what, you meet the stranger that’s supposed to be your other half and it’s happily ever after just like that? – but here she is, a hypocrite to her own thoughts.

Toph hones in on the warmth that’s molded around the curve of her shoulder, feeling a far too pleasant burn smear its way down her spine. She leans away from the stranger by a few inches, just to test it their limits, but fuck, it hurts. She’s met him for a total of three minutes and the sensation of not touching him already leaves her with an ache she can’t even begin to understand.

He makes a hurt noise in his throat when she leans away, jarred by the abruptness of their separation. His hands follow after her, touching the points of her elbows this time, and Toph feels the tremor in his hands, hears the quickness in his breath.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, tightening his fingers around her skin. “I know we don’t know each other, but—”

“This is so stupid,” Toph groans, but she’s slipping a palm over his wrist thoughtlessly, touching the thrum of his pulse. “Why a fucking Walmart of all places?”

Her soulmate’s mouth twitches into a smile. “Why not a Walmart?”

Because it’s the lamest place ever, she wants to say, but then she catches his smile and she stutters to a stop. She gazes at his pretty grey eyes and knows them, has seen them in multiple lifetimes.

(It’s you reverbrates in the space of her chest that used to be hollow, that used to be a void tundra.)

There’s a soulmark on her forearm now – long, golden vines with leaves that twist into the complimentary ones wrapped around his own skin, and the longer they touch, the more intertwined their vines become. It’s both thrilling and unsettling since, so far, Toph’s lived through twenty years of her life with a bare forearm.  

“So,” Toph ends up mumbling, because she knows where this is going to lead and because someone has to eventually, “your place or mine?”

‘

“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?”

“I don’t see why not.”

‘

Her soulmate’s name is Aang, a vegan pacifist whose happiness seems endless, and the while he’s chirping to her about his life like an excited hummingbird, she finds it harder to fathom why the fates specifically chose him for her.

“I’m talking way too much about myself,” he chuckles in embarrassment, pink dusting over his cheeks.

Shrugs. “I asked.”

Aang’s curled up with her on his couch – his apartment had been closer -  idly playing with one of her hands. Their tea sits on the coffee table, cold and forgotten, but she’s too stupidly inebriated with the feeling of his hands on her own to care. Toph doesn’t mind the constant touching, surprisingly. It feels so much better than anything else, and there’s this still moment where they watch his vines crawl from his fingers over to hers.

“What about you?” He’s close enough for his cheek to brush her shoulder. “Tell me about yourself? Pretty please?”

“I’m an art student,” she grins back, unwittingly, at his enthusiasm. “I go to BSSU.”

He positively beams at this. “I go there too! Why is it that I’ve never seen you around campus before?

“Different curriculum maybe?

Toph feels the heat of his gaze wandering everywhere, stiffening slightly only when it drops to the puckered skin on her right leg. “Is there a story behind this?” she hears him ask quietly, his fingers hovering over the scar, but not quite touching it.

“You’re going to think I’m fucking crazy.”

“Try me.” Aang’s isn’t sporting that bright smile anymore, but his face has softened completely. “If you want, that is. You don’t have to tell me.”

It’s strange and new and terrifying, but he’s a gentle breeze in their bond, surrounding her without suffocating her, smoothing over the points of her body that are maybe a little too rough, a little too jagged.

“Well, there’s this forest near the house I grew up in,” Toph starts, drumming her fingers along his soulmark. “I walked through it so many times that I practically memorized it. I really thought I could navigate myself through the forest blind, so I put on a blindfold—”

(The darkness doesn’t welcome her, not the way she wants it to.

Her bare feet press into the earth and she doesn’t feel the vibrations of the earth moving around her, doesn’t hear the songs of squirrels skittering up the old trees, of worms writhing in the dirt. She feels disconnected from everything, small and insignificant.

She carefully glides along the flat surface of the boulders, but misses her next step, falls down and keeps falling—)

“Anyway, now I have a permanent reminder of how much of a dumbass I was,” she says, half bemused, half self-depreciating.

But Aang opens his arms, his face silently pleading, and she hesitates a little. Her soulmate is a stranger wrapped in odd, familiar skin and when they’re pressed together, it’s like they’re speaking an old, sacred language only their bones know.

They should be in bed right now like most soulmate couples their age – or at least kissing, maybe - but she supposes she’ll fail at that too amongst other things.

So, Toph leans in, biting back a satisified hum when his arms coil around her shoulders. He smells like clean laundry and a hint of cinnamon, and when he sighs in content, she feels her muscles relax.

“I like to stand on the edges of high places,” Aang noses against her hair, probably unaware that’s he’s doing it too. “My friends can’t stand it when I do it, but I can’t help it. I never have the urge to actually jump,” he adds in a small laugh, “but I like to imagine that there would be a way for me to somehow catch myself if I do. Then I remember that it’s not possible and I feel this...incredible loss.”

An unexplainable loss you never had in the first place. Yeah, she gets it.

“Thanks.”

“Of course.” His eyes languidly trail after the uplifted bend of her mouth. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

There’s an anxious spike of hope blooming in the pit of Toph’s stomach and it’s not coming from her. She doesn't exactly know how she knows this either, but it's all Aang she's feeling.

It’s coming from him.  

Which is ridiculous because Toph shouldn’t be able to feel him like that. Soulmates don’t work like that. There’s soulmarks and the constant need to be close, but not this invasion of other people’s emotions—

“Yeah, sure,” she says.

Everything is okay. Everything is fine.

Get a fucking grip.

‘

“Some bonds only need an hour of touching and they’re okay for the whole week,” she says at the threshold of his front door, lingering. “Maybe we’re like that? I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try, right?”

“O-Okay,” Aang stutters, brows furrowed, looking like he really wants to follow after her like an imprinted duckling.

Toph lets go of his hand then and the sharp sting she feels should have been taken as a warning. She takes a step back though, forcing herself to play dumb to his white fingers clenched around the door frame and the sudden pallor of his face.

Her fingers tingle in a particularly awful way as she waves goodbye to him and the discomfort is rudimentary, really. It’s nothing she can’t handle, considering she’s had worse done to her skin.

She makes it as far as the turn of the hallway, right when Aang’s out of her view.

Pain grips at her right arm and the numbness flares outward, careening her into the wall. She can’t fucking breathe because it feels like her lungs are being scraped out by a rusty spoon, like her ribs are being branded by hot iron—

Aang barrels into her at a frightening speed and they go teetering to the floor, but he curls his body around hers protectively, possessively, breaking her fall. He’s mouthing something frantic against the hollow of her throat, but she can’t hear it because she’s too overwhelmed by the sensation of his pain pressing down on top of hers.

Whatever she’d felt earlier is vaulting back tenfold and it’s so strange to feel her own emotions looped back to her through a feedback that’s experienced through him. She feels him desperately wanting to take away the unseen hurt throbbing in her while trying to compress his own down and, gods, this isn’t normal.

“Um,” Toph whispers, her voice trembling with her body as she clings to him. “Okay, that was a dumb idea. I’m sorry—”

“Maybe you should stay with me for a couple of days—”

She doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “We have school. How are we going to do—”

“There��s an exemption form we could fill out online. It’s for soulmates who have recently bonded. It’ll get us out of classes, just – please, please don’t leave.”

“I don’t have extra clothes on me or a toothb—”

“You can borrow my clothes. You’ll drown in them because you’re so tiny,” Aang laughs, hoarse, sliding shaking fingers into her unbound hair. “And I have an extra toothbrush you can use. We’ll figure it out, Toph, please.”

What the fuck, what the fuck—

“Alright.” She closes her eyes, surrendering herself to raw instinct by sticking her nose to the skin underneath his jaw. “I’ll stay.”

‘

“Choose well. A sky bison is a companion for life.”

He’s holding an apple in his hands and his legs are jittery – like it’s impossible for him to stay still. The baby bisons are circling their mother in the air and his breath catches because he’s never wanted anything more in his life.

There’s a small bison just a few feet away, looking like it’s waiting for him. It appears to be the runt of the litter, but that’s okay because he’s the smallest in his class too. If it accepts him, then perhaps they can grow together.

Biting his lip, he carefully approaches the small bison and offers the apple to it.

It – no, the bison is a he – sniffs the fruit along with his extended hand before opening his mouth expectantly.

He tosses the apple in and allows himself to pet the bison on the nose while the latter chews. He doesn’t expect the bison to nuzzle into his touch with a pleased rumble, but the creature does anyway, leaning too far in until he loses his balance and falls on his rear end. The bison licks at the whole of his face, pulling happy giggles from his mouth and he knows, then and there, that he’s found the one.

“I guess this means we’ll always be together,” he smiles wide, hands rubbing on either side of the creature’s muzzle—

‘

Toph blinks awake to find herself plastered to Aang’s back with both of her arms snaked around his chest. One of his hands is clasped in hers, their fingers twined, and she has a leg thrown over his hip as if she’s slept with him like this their whole lives.

His bedroom is small and simple, but there’s a slight airiness to it that reminds her of the temple in her dreams – or not dreams, apparently. She sees this temple in the sky in quick flashes while she’s awake too, and if they don’t show her in the company of monks, then it’s always with that six-legged bison.

“I can hear you thinking,” Aang mumbles sleepily.

She presses her face to his shoulder. “Shit, did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, you waking up actually yanked me out of sleep too.” Gently tightens his fingers around hers, reassures her that he’s not upset. “It’s not a big deal. What’s bothering you?”  

I think I’m seeing your memories from a past life never quite leaves Toph’s mouth.

“Nah, it’s nothing.”

And maybe that’s the wrong thing to say because Aang just turns in her hold and exhales into her neck, slipping his arms around her waist. His fingers tease the hem of a shirt that’s too big on her and he asks in a hushed tone if it’s okay. Toph nods, her skin shivering in loose delight once his palm slides underneath the shirt to splay itself flat against the small of her back.

The moonlight peeking through the curtains shows her one side of his face – the argent in his eyes, the fan of his inky lashes, the indent of his cheekbone. Objectively, he’s stunning, so she could have done a whole lot worse.  

“You know I can tell you’re lying, right?” The corner of Aang’s mouth lifts, amused. “I can feelthat something’s wrong.”

“Can we just—” Opens her mouth and shuts it, frustrated inside. He rubs his thumb in calming circles against Toph’s skin and she still doesn’t know if she likes how one touch can clear her muddled thoughts just like that. “Can we just pretend that we don’t have some weird telepathic-empathic thing between us? Just for tonight at least? Fuck, it’s a lot to unpack on the first day.”

His hurt is muffled, but it’s there and she feels it her chest, taking root. “You think it’s weird?” he whispers, sounding like an open wound.

“Doesn’t this freak you out?”

“Yes, of course it does.”

But underneath the blanket of her own emotions, she senses fear for this bond. Fear at the thought of Toph rejecting him so quickly. She tightens her leg over his hip instinctively, telling him no, she’s not rejecting him. She doesn’t think that’s even possible at this point.  

He presses a smile into her clavicle, relieved. “Do you remember dinner? When you were groaning after taking the first few bites of the pasta?”

Toph blushes. “Don’t make fun of me! I didn’t know artichoke sauce was even thing!” Or so delicious. “I was caught off guard, okay?”

“You were happy eating what I made for you and I felt that happiness,” Aang says, so soft. “It felt beautiful. You felt beautiful, Toph.”

(And I’d give you the whole world to keep you happy forever, he sings into her veins even if he doesn’t realize it yet, even if he’s just as scared and lost as she is.)

What an optimstic fool he is. “I might drive you nuts,” Toph throws back instead.

“Oh, I know you will.”

She pinches Aang’s side, cackling at his high-pitched shriek even when the sharpness of her index finger and thumb on his skin echoes against her own.

‘

“Where the hell have you been!”

“Chill, Sparky,” is Toph’s lazy response as she waltzes into her apartment, leading Aang in by their tangled fingers. “I texted you.”

“‘Be back in a week, dude’ doesn’t give me much to go by. A fucking week? You could have been dead for all I knew!”

“Stop projecting your sibling issues onto me. I’m here, aren’t I? Besides, when you found Sokka and Suki, the three of you didn’t leave your room for more than a week, you dirty hyprocrite!”

“At least you knew where I was the whole—” Zuko abruptly closes his mouth, his gaze darting to the towering man at Toph’s heels. “Aang? Wait, how do you two know each other?”

Toph lifts both their arms, showing him the fresh knitted vines gleaming on their skin. “He’s my soulmate. How do you two know each other?”

“I know Sokka and Sukki,” Aang chimes in cheerfully. “Wow, what a small world, huh?”

“How’d you two—”

“Anyway,” she interrupts brashly, not in the mood to retell their romantic, fateful meeting at Walmart, “Aang’s gonna be staying here for a week and then I’ll go back to his place for another week, and so on and blah blah. At least until the bond settles. You get it. Let us know when dinner’s ready,” she adds, practically yanking at Aang until they’re both confined in her bedroom.

Aang taps the end of her nose. “That was mean.”

“Please,” Toph makes a point of rolling her eyes. “Zuko barely said a word to me after touching the other two. They burst into the apartment like a fucking hurricane, almost doing it right there in our living room. So fucking rude.”  

‘

She’s in the shower when she suddenly feels absolute terror choking at her, nearly making her slip on the tiles.

Toph barely wraps herself up in a towel before she’s barging out of the bathroom, extremely thankful that her room’s close by. Aang’s on the floor, back leaning against the frame of her bedroom door, quivering fingers curled around one of her older sketchbooks. Aang blindly reaches for her when she approaches, pulling her down onto his lap and burying half of his face into her shoulder blade.

“Is my art that terrifying?” Toph tries to joke, but he doesn’t even smile.

The drawing had been done in charcoal, dark and blurry around the edges, and she almost doesn’t remember drawing it. There’s an enormous centipede thing crawling out of a cave, its legs reaching out to take, to steal. The only colors on the sketch are the red lips and the grey eye markings of the Noh mask it’s wearing on its face, but she’s not sure if that makes it better or worse.  

Aang’s voice is a quiet, little thing when he asks, “Where did you see this creature?”

(“My old friend, the Avatar,” the monster utters in a serpentine hiss. “It’s been a long time.”

“You know me?”

“How could I forget you? One of your previous incarnations tried to slay me,” it accuses, the white mask flickering into the face of an older man with a mustache and a long beard, “maybe eight or nine hundred years ago.”

“I didn’t know that.” It’s difficult, keeping his emotions out of both his face and voice. “Why did he – or I – try to kill you?”

The thing changes again – a beautiful woman this time, with long brown hair and familiar, sad eyes.  

“Oh, it was something about stealing the face of someone you loved.”)

“A nightmare, I think,” Toph answers carefully. “Actually, you know what—”

She rips the page out of the sketchbook and crumples it tightly in her first. It feels like an ugly omen against her palm, riddled with malice and sadism, and she chucks it into her trash can.  

“You didn’t have to do that. That was your work,” Aang murmurs, his guilt gnawing at her.

“It was a creepy-ass drawing. I don’t know what I was thinking when I drew that.” Pause. “I have better stuff on my desktop if you want to look.”

He kisses her shoulder, smiling sweetly. “I hope the creatures on there are less frightening.”

“Don’t be such a wuss. Wanna see what a badgermole looks like?”

‘

After their soulbond settles, they’ve learned that they can get through the day by themselves relatively alright as long as there was skin-to-skin contact for at least an hour beforehand. It no longer hurts to be away from Aang, but it is uncomfortable as fuck, like an itch burning inside that’s screaming at her to scratch it until it’s bloody and raw.

Which is fine.

So ridiculously fine.

The lecture is a drone in the back of Toph’s mind as she doodles along the corner of her notebook page to take her mind off the itch. The mintiness of the gum she’s snacking on ebbs away suddenly, turning into something vastly different.

She chews again, tasting raspberries, fruit juice, bananas, and...almond milk?

Aang is waiting for her outside the door when her class ends and as soon as he sees her, his entire face lights up like the sun. His content rolls over Toph in a soothing whisper and she subconsciously mimics his smile, her body humming with want.

In spite of the protesting noise she makes, Aang scoops her up in his arms until her feet are dangling above the ground. He nuzzles his cheek to hers, his breath warm against the ridge of her ear, and he twirls them once because he can’t help himself. She hisses at him to put her down, but it doesn’t really bother her as it normally would with literally anyone else.  

“Did you have a smoothie?” Toph asks.

“Yeah.” He keeps his hands pasted to her hips, his eyes bright with excitement. “I tasted the gum you were chewing earlier.”

“I want to say that I’m surprised, but am I really at this point?”

A deep chuckle as he cups her face in his palms. “Don’t be so glum. Think of all the possibilities! What if you’re really hungry, but you don’t have time to get food because you’re taking a test or something? I could eat something and you’d be able to taste it.”

“Oh, yeah, super cool. What if you’re hungry and I decide to get a hamburger?”

He blinks, his grin faltering. “I’m vegan, Toph. You know that—”

“You’re not actually eating it – you’re only getting a taste. Like you said, all the possibilities. You ever want to try a steak? Or a milkshake with actual milk?”

Toph bites back a smile, doing a poor job of concealing how much she really enjoys it when he gets all flustered.

‘

“Do you believe in reincarnation?”

“You drunk already?” Sokka passes a bemused glance at her. “I don’t remember you being that much of a lightweight.”

It’s warm in the bar – she can tell by the slight flush on Sokka’s cheeks that has nothing to do with being intoxicated – but Toph still burrows her nose deeper into the wool scarf coiled around her neck, still tightens her coat around her. Aang may be on the other side of the city, but he’s somewhere outdoors, somewhere cold, and the alcohol isn’t making her any warmer.

Aang doesn’t do well in colder weather, but he’s having fun with his friends even if he’s getting the both of them sick. She can feel him missing her, missing the press of her fingers on his skin even though they’d seen each other hours ago.  

“You have two soulmates,” Toph grumbles. “The idea of past lives shouldn’t be that fucking implausible.”

His shoulder gently bumps against hers. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I’m not upset—”

“Okay, okay, let’s start over,” Sokka smiles at her, completely genuine and not at all mocking. “Why do you suddenly believe in reincarnation?”

“I have these dreams,” she says, her brows knitting together as she curls her hands tighter around her glass. “Well, I used to think they were dreams, but then I’d see something while I’m awake. They’re always about Aang in this completely different life and it’s like I’m a passenger in his body, just going through the motions.”  

“And you think these things are actually his memories from a past life.”  

Toph exhales quietly, the lines of her body losing their tautness. She feels mildly less insane now that someone’s acknowledged it for her.

“They feel too real to just be my imagination. It’s always him in the same timeline.”

Sokka hums, thoughtful. “Maybe they are his memories, Toph. Who knows? Soulbonds can’t be explained, but people accept them anyway. For what it’s worth, I believe you.”

“If this is you making fun of me, I swear to—”

“No, I really mean it! Like, if I didn’t end up with Suki and Zuko – or either of them – in a previous life and reincarnation’s just a thing that’s giving me a second chance to actually be with them, then that’s pretty cool. Fate’s doing me a solid.”

“Second chances,” Toph muses, more to herself than anything.

“Yeah, why not?” He downs the rest of his glass. “On a side note, what else are you feeling from Aang since the bond started? Something tells me you guys are...not normal.”

Toph starts to respond, but then she hunches over the counter, shoulders shaking. It slams into her out of nowhere and she has to clamp both her hands over her mouth to muffle the uncontrollable laughter. She’s yanked further and further into Aang’s joy, feeling it so keenly that the corners of her eyes begin to prickle with tears.

“What is happening,” Sokka blurts, alarmed and concerned. “Are you having a stroke—”

“One of Aang’s friends did something stupid and funny,” she hiccups out in short breaths, still guffawing. “It might – it might have been Bumi.”

Sokka gawks at her, frozen in place. He then orders another round of drinks for the both of them.

‘

Monk Gyatso lies against the wall, just bones and dust, and the omniscient rage of a thousand lives sinks down on him—

‘

The weight of his grief completely buries Toph, so much that she collapses in a public restroom. Her fingers scrabble at the tiles beneath her, desperate to clutch onto something, anything, as the memory consumes her. Something vibrates in her pocket for a long, long time, but she’s too busy screaming soundlessly into her palm to notice.

Panic slips into Toph, making her blood run cold, and the longer she ignores her phone, the more frenetic her soulmate feels—

“Toph?” is his voice on the other line, wildly frantic, when she finally answers the call. “Did someone hurt you? What’s wrong, where are—”

“I—” Her breath comes out in harsh pants. “It’s o-okay. You don’t need to come.”

Rustling, like Aang’s already preparing to step out. “No, no, that’s not what it feels like,” he argues softly, and now there’s pain in his voice because she won’t let him come to her, won’t let him take care of her—

Her chest squeezes tighter, aching. “I slipped. I’m, uh, good now.”

“Toph, please.” His voice breaks and she screws her eyes shut, tasting saltwater in her mouth. “Please let me come to you. Tell me where you are.”

So she whispers back that she’s at the tea shop near their school, the one owned by Zuko’s uncle.

Aang rushes into the women’s restroom ten minutes later – a feat in itself, considering the usual commute is twice that amount – and she’s never wanted him to see her like this, hunched under one of the sinks and sobbing over a memory that isn’t even hers.

He sucks in a sharp breath like Toph’s pain cleaves him. His eyes are red-rimmed and she can’t even look at him because she’s so sorry. She’s sorry that he’s lost his people, sorry that he’s lost his home, sorry that he’s lost his entire culture.

The way he stalks over to her is noiseless, ghostlike even, and then he’s plucking up all the bird bones of Toph’s body, folding himself around her and concealing her from the rest of the world. It makes her cry harder, if anything, to the point where she’s dry-heaving against his chest, but it helps when she pushes her hands under his shirt to touch the tight skin around his hips.

She tells him everything. That he was raised by Air Nomads in another life. That he was something called the Avatar. That they lived in a world where people could manipulate the elements as they pleased.

That they lived during a long, long war.

“You controlled the element of air first,” Toph rasps out later, when it finally doesn’t feel like her lungs are going to give out on every inhale. “You and Appa got caught in this storm, and then you did something that left you frozen at the bottom of an ocean. Katara and Sokka found you, but when you came back to the Southern Air Temple, everyone was dead and it had only felt like you left days ago, but a fucking century passed—”

To his credit, Aang doesn’t once ask who Appa is or what the Southern Air Temple is supposed to be. His heart beats faster and his skin jolts at the familiarity of her words, but he holds her still.

“Breathe, T,” he says, rocking her, sweeping her dark hair away from her neck so that he can kiss the small space behind her ear.

She does. Inhales for four seconds, exhales for six—

It’s a breathing technique that Monk Gyatso had taught Aang. Had taught her.

Their soulmarks cling to each other distressingly, her aurelian leaves and vines overlapping his.

“Do you ever dream of me?” Toph asks, calmer.

“I have many daydreams about you.” And that’s mischief slanted against her nape, rounded out by his mouth. He’s soft and playful now, making her sink further into his embrace. “When your memories come to me, I don’t actually see anything.”

Tries not to be too disappointed. “Oh.”

“No,” Aang smudges a smile against the corner of her mouth, gently thumbing a tear-stained cheek. “You were blind in your last life, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t see. You didn’t need to. You felt these vibrations in the earth and it allowed you to see and hear things no one else could. You were the greatest earthbender that ever lived.”

“She sounds way cooler than me.”

He tips her face up. “You’re just as cool as she is,” Aang breathes, and there’s a brush of lips against hers, slow and sweet. “Just as beautiful.”

(I found you again, her soul thrums out, the loudest it’s ever been inside her.)

Toph twists in his arms, chasing after his mouth. It’s almost too much and not enough at the same time, tasting his honeyed delight and feeling it mingle with her own. His hands shove themselves up her sweater to frame the space of her back as he parts his mouth, allowing her to—

“Gee, it looks like you guys are fine in here,” comes a monotonous drawl that has them breaking apart, sputtering. “And here I was, worried for no apparent reason.”

“Mai!” Aang practically yells, his ears turning beet red. “When did you – why are—”

The other girl waves a dismissive hand. “Toph and I were going over work. What was supposed to be a five-minute restroom break turned into a forty-minute one,” she adds pointedly, raising a brow.  

“Sorry,” Toph says sheepishly. “I had a thing. Like a panic attack or whatever. It’s gone now, so no biggie.”

Aang, severely disagreeing with her on that last statement, wraps her up tighter in his arms.

“We’ll continue tomorrow,” Mai says then, and it may just be Toph’s imagination, but she thinks she sees the former’s face soften a bit. “Get some rest.”  

After Mai leaves, Aang plays with her loose hair. “We should probably leave too.”  

“Yeah.”

But Toph’s leaning in, pausing only a few inches away from his lips and grinning when he automatically closes the distance. She feels that buzzing of happiness again and whether it’s his or hers, it doesn’t matter.

‘

Aang’s shoulders are still quivering as he drops shaky, open-mouthed kisses along the crease of her hip. He’s been pulled apart to pieces, beautifully and painstakingly, and the remnants of bliss still drumming within him makes it slow to put those pieces back together.

She only knows because she feels the exact same way. She feels everything.

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else.” His voice is wrecked and his lips are so kiss-swollen, but he’s still this hopelessly exotic thing sprawled between her legs. There’s an indelible glaze to his to expression that makes him look so thoroughly fucked, and when he rests his chin on her stomach and looks up at her with soft, needy eyes, something inside her chest just melts.

“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” Toph husks out with a laugh.

“Yeah, why didn’t we,” he murmurs back, still loopy, nosing the skin around her navel.  

Toph strokes her fingers along the arrow inked on his head, pulling a quiet mewl from him. The arrow tattoos on his body are the same design, the same placement – just the wrong shade of blue. These lines are darker than the ones she sees in his memories.

Maybe the effervesent, illuminating blue that once marked Aang as an airbendering master doesn’t exist in this world.

“Can you skip your classes tomorrow?” he asks.

“Why?”

His answer is a trail of wet kisses up the flat stretch of her belly. “Because I want to keep doing this.”

“Really.” Toph plays off as nonchalant, even when her heart skips a beat. “You want to render us incapable of walking by the time we’re done?”

“Toph, I don’t think I’m able to walk now,” Aang chuckles, before looking up at her from beneath his lashes, coy. “But I still want you in my bed whether we’re having sex or not. I just want you.”

His want reverbrates in the apex of Toph’s thighs and she wishes she can be as open as he is. She wants him in her bed forever, but the words become stifled in her throat, never leaving her mouth. He smiles at her though, tender and adoring, like he knows what she’s trying to say.  

She rolls them over, straddling his hips. Gratification seeps into her at the way his pupils dilate, at the way he takes her in breathlessly.

‘

He’s upset – so very, very upset – and she doesn’t know why.

Toph feels it two blocks away from his apartment and it spurs her to walk faster, to the point where she’s running.

After letting herself in, she finds Aang leaning over the kitchen counter, the stiff lines of his back obvious through his thin shirt. She leans her back against the counter and presses her elbow to the nimble fingers constricted around dark granite.

“What’s up, grumpy?”

Her soulmate breathes out noisily, his shoulders bunching forward like he’s trying to make himself much smaller than he is. He doesn’t turn to face her, doesn’t immediately trap her in his arms like he usually would after a long day apart. He leans against her though, heavy, part of him trying to disappear into the pale abyss of her skin.

“We weren’t married to each other,” Aang whispers, horrified. “I was married to someone else. A non-bender, I think. I don’t recognize her voice.”

And there’s really no point in getting angry with Aang or this mystery woman because the past is the past, but jealousy festers anyway, scratching at her bones. She tries to taper down it to keep him from feeling it, but he flinches, looking even more miserable than before.

She tries for apathy then: “So? It was in the past – a past we’re only barely starting to get details from.”

“But I was still seeing you. I had kids with this woman, but I was still sneaking around with you���”

“Okay, so I was a side chick. Whatever, that’s fine—”

“It’s not fine,” a muscle in his jaw jumps, “none of this was fine. I’m seeing this from your persepective, remember? You weren’t okay with this.”

“Why does it fucking matter?” Toph spits, a small part of her regretting it when Aang’s mouth pinches into a thin line. “Maybe we never got together. Maybe sex on the the side was our only option. Whatever the fuck we did in that lifetime, it’s got nothing to do with what we have in this one!”

(“She’s beautiful,” he murmurs, gazing down at the newborn. “Did you decide on a name?”  

“Suyin’s kind of pretty. Has a nice ring to it.”

Tightly swallows. “Toph, is she – is she mine?”

“Don’t worry about it,” the woman in bed mumbles. “It’s not your problem.”

“But—”

“I’m not repeating myself, Twinkletoes. And she doesn’t belong to anyone but me.”)

Then Aang grazes her side with feather-light hands, silently asking for permission. She’s still bristling in her skin, but he makes the frustration and shame go away with just a brush of his palms on her body.

She wants to stay mad at him, wants to stew in silence all by herself, but she physically can’t, not when he’s already made a home for himself in the space of her ribs.

Toph pulls him in with an incoherent grumble, binding her arms around his torso to anchor him back to earth because he feels like he’s going to float away. He shivers against her, mouthing soft apologies against the column of neck as he clings onto her. Even on her tiptoes, her head barely reaches his chin, but she leans on them anyway because she doesn’t want him breaking his neck trying to bury himself in hers.

“Maybe I leave my wife when our kids are older,” he says, his teeth scraping over her shoulder. “I leave her for you.”

“You really think that happened?”

“Yes,” comes Aang’s response, but even that sounds a little unsure. Like he desperately wants it to be true. The uncertainity makes him press into her until there’s no visible space left between them. “Why wouldn’t I do that for you? We’re soulmates. I don’t believe in any lifetime where you’re not always by my side.”

Toph rolls her eyes. “You’re such an embarassing idiot sometimes.”

Aang smiles, his tongue flicking against her jawline. Heat simmers at the pit of Toph’s stomach, rising languidly, and his hands are at the back of her thighs. “I need you,” he sighs, catching her mouth with his.

“I know, you dumb airhead.”  

She quickly finds herself hoisted onto the counter before she’s tipping her head back, letting him unbutton her flannel and kiss his way down—

‘

“Don’t worry,” Katara says. “We’ll find you a teacher. There are plenty of amazing earthbenders out there.”

There’s a deep wrongness in him as he stares back at Gaoling. Like he’s making a mistake by just giving up and leaving—

“Not like her.”

After he climbs onto Appa with reluctance, he doesn’t immediately lift the reins. Sometimes, there are rewards to being patient, to sitting still and letting the winds carry their answers to you. When he listens to the currents around him, he catches a flurry of hurried footsteps headed in their direction.

Delicate hope grows in his chest.

“Toph!” Happiness etches itself onto his face, wide and open, when the small girl runs out of the forest. “What are you doing here?”

“My dad changed his mind. He said I was free to travel the world.”

It’s a bold-faced lie.

But when Toph smiles, something inside his own stomach flutters wildly—

‘

“Are you alright, miss?” a voice asks, waking her, his mouth lightly tracing the curve of her ear.

“Fuck off,” Toph mumbles, still face down on the table, in spite of her fingers reaching out to rest along the nape of his neck. The taste of coffee – the strong kind – lingers on her tongue. “M’ tired. Why’d you drink coffee? And a goddamn red eye at that.”  

Aang tugs at her hair teasingly. “Because I almost fell asleep while driving over here to get you.”

“Ugh, you’re going to keep me up all night.”

“I can think of a few things we could do to pass the time,” Aang smirks, nuzzling his nose along her cheekbone. “Or, well, one specific thing actually—”

Toph snorts. “Dork.”

He snatches her up, fingers digging into her side as he drags her onto his lap. Peals of laughter escape her while he tickles her relentlessly, so much that the harder she laughs, the more she feels him eventually shaking with laughter too, amplifying the sensation. One of the campus librarians shushes them sharply and she feels Aang hiding his face into her throat to escape the blame.

“What’s that?” he inquiries out of nowhere then, reaching for something on the table—

“No snooping!” Toph hisses without any real heat, swatting his hand out of the way to shove the tiny book into her backpack.

It’s a flipbook that she’s still working on, showing Aang peacefully bending all four elements. She had originally wanted to illustrate him kicking Ozai’s ass, but she doubts he would like the violence of it, so she’d gone with this instead.

Aang perks up in excitement. “Is it for me? My birthday’s in a couple of weeks, you know.”

Rolls her eyes. “Just wait and find out, Twinkletoes.”

She stands up in an attempt to gather her things, but as soon as she does, the feeling of a thousand pins pricking at her legs washes over.

“Your legs are numb,” Aang glances over with both bemusement and sympathy, on the verge of discomfort himself. “Here, I’ll carry you.”

“Nah, let’s just wait—”

But Aang pulls her arms over his shoulders, picking Toph up until she’s literally hanging onto his back, before he grabs her backpack. She hates being picked up in any manner, but it’s a losing battle with a cheerfully persistant soulmate like him. She yanks on the lobes of his ears, but he just grins, hitching her body higher.

“Yip-yip,” Toph says.

“Do I look like a flying bison to you?”

“You’re right, that was a terrible comparison,” she replies. “Appa is obviously a hundred times better than you.”

Aang makes an affronted noise, but Toph rests her head on his shoulder blade and kisses the elegant line of his neck, placating him. The brisk air hits her face once he walks out of the library and Toph tucks her face harder into his skin.  

“I had a dream that you were looking for someone to teach you earthbending,” she whispers, wistful and smug. “You wouldn’t settle for anyone but me. Said I was the best out of all of them.”

“There’s no one else like you,” Aang replies easily, thumbing nonsensical patterns under her thighs.

He’d said that in his past life as well.

“Hey, Aang?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think we ended up together.” Because the snippets of his memories where he’s an adult are a lot sadder, filled with such hurt and longing. “I think we might have crashed and burned.”

Aang breath falters in her ear and he grips her harder, refusing to lose her to their past failures, to whatever broke them.

“We’ll do better this time, T.”

‘

(And they do.)

‘ [end notes: 

BSSU = Ba Sing Se University

To clarify, what's normal for soulmates in this universe - (1) soulmarks appear as soon as soulmates touch each other (2) the need to be touching - the limits of this can vary with every soulmate bond, it all just depends.

As you can see with Aang and Toph, they obviously have a lot more going on with the XD

I hope this wasn't too confusing with the way Toph was receiving Aang's memories. Anything in italics was her seeing a memory. If anything was in parenthesis, that meant that Toph experienced the memory before the present time. Let me know if the italicized text isn’t showing like it does on the ao3 link. Tumblr’s being shitty for some reason. 

If this was all confusing anyway, go ahead and yell at me]

[mindofharry]

harry leaving you for your bestfriend and you're contemplating pain upon yourself and harry loses it

:’(( suicidal thoughts, depression and anxiety mentioned in this blurb !!!

y/n had always been good.

she let people cut in front of her at the store. she’d smile to random people when she had a bad day. she would help kids find their parents. she would help her elderly neighbours with their groceries. she would never say no to date because then she wouldn’t feel so alone. she would always surround herself with people so she wouldn’t have to go home. she always stayed at the library on the weekends. she went to church on sundays. she commented nice things on people’s instagrams. she never judged people. she never did one bad thing.

so why did this have to happen to her?

She had been so kind to everyone. she had done everything in her power to be a good person. so why was she getting thrown away like stale bread? why did she ever think that he would love her, the way she loved him? how could she ever think she deserved even a day of happiness?

the words replayed in her head as she sat in her bath. “I’ve found someone else”

something you don’t want to hear in a long term relationship. Harry and y/n had been together just over a year now. she had thought everything was going well. they laughed, kissed and obviously they had their fights. but they were ok. weren’t they? she had looked back on all of the memories of him she could remember. the good and the bad. but nothing could of ever prepared her for this. her heart had been broken multiple times. but never like this. y/n felt as if her heart had stopped beating. like she had died. She felt as if she was drowning and no one could save her.

“her names Rebecca Davis”

then y/n let out a sob. She thought the pain couldn’t get any worse. but it did. the name of her best friend rang through out her ears. her best friend of 10 years had got her boyfriends heart. The thought alone made y/n sick to her stomach. how could they do that to her? After all she’s done for them? helped Rebecca with money and boy problems. Studying with her and cleaning her apartment. helping her get a job interview and swapping report cards so her parents wouldn’t kick her out. and y/n did that because they were friends. but now looking back she was a push over and manipulated into some puppet.

Y/n had stayed silent the whole time Harry had talked. explaining everything in immense detail for her to try and understand. but she won’t ever understand. how he could love her in the morning but then tell her he’s in love with her best friend. y/n had said one thing to Harry before walking out of the room.

“i don’t think I’ll ever understand you Harry. But I do hope you’re happy. I’m not one to hold a grudge. I like to give people multiple chances. but you are not one of those people. so don’t come running back to me when she starts draining your bank account or complains too much. I’m done treating people with fucking kindness harry. because this is what I get in return. so get your stuff and get the fuck out of my house”

Harry had sat there in shock. he had never heard y/n speak that way. y/n was the most precious and kindest person he had ever met. someone so selfless and would do anything for someone she just met. but things change. and y/n had finally had enough of the bullshit this world kept giving her.

so she contemplated things.

would anyone miss her if she just ended things?

everyone could just easily replace her she thought. All her problems and hurt would be gone. she could finally live in peace.

so she stood there a knife at her wrist ready to do it. ready to bleed out on her bathroom floor. she wanted to so badly. she wanted it all to be gone. but she couldn’t do it.

A loud sob let out from her mouth as she put down the knife and held herself. Her whole body shook as she cried. eventually she left the bathroom and picked up her phone calling her mom.

“I need help mom. please help me”

she was put into rehab which was totally her decision. she needed this. she had been needing to let it out. Harry and Rebecca were just the thing to break her.

Harry had come to visit her when he found out she was gone to rehab. Rebecca has cried all night to him. how it was all her fault. and that she should’ve known. but Harry couldn’t help but think that all of this was his fault. he had broken her.

so when he sat down with her he didn’t expect what came out of her mouth.

“it’s okay Harry. you found love. and although it isn’t ideal that it was my bestfriend. I’m ok. I’m more than ok now”

Harry had immediately smiled happy that they were ok. that he didn’t have this guilt on his chest anymore.

“so we can be friends?” He asked with a smile.

she sighed messing with her hands. she shook her head.

“bad things always happen to good people. I understand that now. but we can’t be friends. I have made piece with what happened. But you caused too much pain. And I will never forget that”

“goodbye haz”

[benkouji726]

So I wrote my 5+1 Forlex fic, as I was saying earlier. I really lack impulse control when it comes to rnm, sigh.

Jealous Guerin may have some appearances in this fic too, but it’s eventually Forlex. 

This is the first part of it. I will try to update it daily, before I lose my nerves.

Five times Alex surprised Forrest and one time he didn’t

1.

It was supposed to be some harmless fun, at first.

Forrest was intuitive, to put it mildly. You didn’t grow up in a Long household and become this well-liked and popular family member by being dense, especially when you were gay. Besides, his gut feeling had saved him more times than he could count in battles, it was one of the reasons his buddies trusted him with their lives.

He was very good at reading people and situations around or between them. He didn’t always care what people thought of him, of others or of themselves, but he noticed all the same and would efficiently use that information to his advantage. Call it his people skills, but it was how he managed to live through his rebellious youth period, his military years, and now his adult life in a backwards town like Roswell, while never stopped being his colorful-haired, emo-poetry-writing, 20 pounds of personality in a 5 pound pocket-sized body self.

So he had known there was something between Alex and Alien Guy even when they first met at the Long farm. As they talked, it was like there were only them in the whole world. The air seemed thicker and more tangible, the atmosphere charged. Then at the diner, Forrest noticed the meaningful glance Alien Guy shot his way. When Alex sang that song, Guerin walked in and they seemed to have some soul searching conversations through their eyes only, well, it was really not that hard a guess who the song was for. And frankly, Alex needed to work on his poker face a LOT if he was ever gonna sell that obvious “it was a long time ago” lie.

But at the time, it hadn’t really mattered. Whatever it was between them, it seemed neither of them was going to make a move. And Alex was so hot sometimes he wondered how the hell he remained single in the first place, but he WAS single, and a smart guy like Forrest was never gonna miss out a perfectly good opportunity to make out with a hot guy and have some fun time with him.

It was supposed to be just like that, some fun, some company, some glorious make out sessions. Nothing heavy or potential heartbreak or anything.

Which was probably why he didn’t even realize he was falling for Alex until it was a bit of too late.

They were dating for two months at that point. Forrest had met almost all of Alex’s friends and family members (the ones who counted as friends and family in Alex’s book anyway), minus Michael Guerin. And Forrest had won them over one by one. He once overheard Liz call him “charming, funny, honest and loyal to a fault”, to a reluctant Isobel Evans, who had been giving him stink eyes ever since he and Alex had gone out, but in their last get-together thingy (Forrest honestly didn’t know how to call these, because they were irregular as fuck, both in schedule and in attending member counts), Isobel joined him at the bar when he was getting them the last round, considered him for a second, patted him on his shoulder without looking at him and said in a small but genuine voice: “You are not half bad”. So Forrest would call it a win.

In hindsight, it should have been his first warning sign that he cared so much of what Alex’s friends think of him. But in his defense, Alex was most at ease when he was with his friends, which meant he would always be sweet, adorable, sometimes sassy, sometimes soft, and had the unique sense of humor in a deadpan way, and Forrest was too busy being charmed to notice it.

So when his platoon buddies, Tony and Chris, came into town to visit him and he brought Alex to have a beer together, he was so caught off guard when Alex went to bathroom and Tony said:

“Man, you’re so gone on him, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t even a question.

Forrest spluttered, red faced, and said, eloquently: “uh, what?”

Tony and Chris changed a look, both amused. “You’ve been staring at him all night, Long. You look at him as if he hung the moon. You can’t seem to keep your hands to yourself, not to be PDA or something, but little touches, I think you didn’t even notice. He made a joke earlier, granted, it WAS hilarious, but the way you laughed, like you think he is the most funny guy in the whole world, which, no offense, is really not the case.”

Tony drank some water after his long ass bullshit, and Chris went in for a final blow. “So in conclusion, you’ve had it bad, dude, like, we’ve-never-seen-you-like-this level bad.”

Forrest was dumbstruck at that. He must’ve seemed like a dumbass too, because they decided to take pity on him, and changed the subject.

“Anyway, you know we’ve been relocated to the nearby base, Tobias and Leo are near enough too. The others all cashed in some long-overdue vacation days so we can have a little get together for our platoon in Santa Fe next month. You should come too.”

OK, that was exciting news. He missed his buddies and would be very happy to spend some time with them.

But Tony hesitated a little before continued: “There is a catch though. We thought it would be nice that we all bring our significant others, or even our children. So it would be a more family style setting. It may not be your thing.”

The thing was, it would totally be Forrest’s thing. He just didn’t know how to say it. With his platoon buddies, he always seemed like the free spirited lone wolf, easygoing, open and honest, but never the one to talk about family issues or kids problems with. But he would enjoy being surrounded by family love and loud but innocent kids, so he opened his mouth to just say that when he was interrupted by a light laugh.

“What are you guys talking about, family and kids and platoon buddies all under the same roof? It’s totally his thing.”

Forrest was startled, both by Alex’s sudden reappearance and his seemingly psychic ability to read his mind. When he remained silent a second too long, Alex apologized.

“Sorry, did I overstep? You actually don’t want to go or...?”

“No! I mean, yes, I wanna go. I just, something they said earlier, it was a lot to unpack. But you are right, I would love to go.” Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Alex didn’t seem to buy it, but he was kind enough to drop it at the time.

On their drive home though, Alex picked it up again, as Alex would do, because he was a stubborn son of bitch like that.

“You wanna talk about what happened earlier?”

Forrest sighed. Best to just cut to the chase.

“Why did you say it was totally my thing? We didn’t often talk about family and kids, if any.”

Alex frowned, “No, we didn’t normally talk about that stuff. But it’s obvious you like family energy and friendly gatherings, isn’t it? Am I not supposed to know that?”

“But how? I served with my buddies for a long time, we trust each other with our lives. But almost none of them know it.”

“Forrest”, Alex smiled, “you like almost all of your family members, stay friends with a lot of them, despite some of them are real assholes. You even like hanging out with my friends and family too, not just because we are dating, but because you love being around people who give you warm family-like feelings. You organize every open mic night at the pony, and are genuinely interested in the acts and the people behind them, you like to talk to them about their lives and their relationships. You volunteer at the youth shelter. You are, simply put, a people person. You like people, you see good in them, you want to be around them and be a positive influence for them. You don’t necessarily tolerate stupid bigots, and you would be the first to call out their cowardice, but if they are willing to change and be better, you would want to believe in them too.”

He exhaled, oblivious of Forrest’s stunned expression, and continued.

“For a man who has that big a heart, I’d imagine spending some time with his buddies and their families would totally be his thing, don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, but...”

“And there’s also your poetry.”

Forrest was getting whiplash tonight, he could hardly keep up.

“My poetry?”

“Yeah, you gave me your emo poetry journal the other day and asked for my opinion?”

“I remember that. In fact, I remember it was a week ago and I still haven’t got any feedback yet.” If he was being honest, he would say he had been a little hurt by that too.

Alex’s face turned a shade pink. “I know I was being a little slow. But I just want to do them justice, you know? I’ve been reading each of them multiple times, so I can get the gist right.”

OK, hurt instantly healed. He really should be concerned how Alex’s words could so easily affect his mood.

“Anyway, the poems you wrote, they are all very pro-humanity, at least in my opinion. Like, the themes vary, some about personal journeys, some about lost love, some about struggling life, some about anger and pain. But the words have something like warmth attached to them, like despite all, there’s hope, and there’s good, in people, in humanity, in the whole world.”

He looked down at his hands then, voice quiet.

“And that’s the thing I like most about you.”

Shit.

“Shit”, It was definitely too soon, but Forrest just can’t not say it. “I think I might be falling for you.”

Alex looked at him right then, hesitated then determined: “I don’t think I’m there yet. But I think I could see myself heading down that road someday.”

He added in a more unsure voice: “Is that OK?”

Forrest reached out, squeezed his hand, and reassured him: “It’s OK”.

And it really was.

[7-wonders]

Shatter pt. 5

Summary: The mysterious Langdon makes his intentions clear, causing panic to ripple throughout the residents of Outpost 3. Interviews are to be conducted, and you’re planning on turning the interviewer into the interviewee in order to figure out if he’s a missing link to your past.

Word Count: 2414

A/N: Hello my dudes, thank you for putting up with me. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter; as always, feedback is appreciated and my inbox is always open if you need to chat! And now, without further ado, let us esketit. 

Read Part One HERE | Read Part Two HERE | Read Part Three HERE | Read Part Four HERE

When Langdon’s eyes meet yours, you’re expecting them to widen in recognition. Surely this man, whom your subconscious recognized at once, would be sure to have some sort of reaction to seeing you? You can barely hide your disappointment when he looks away just as quickly as he looked at you.

“I won’t sugarcoat the situation: humanity is on the brink of failure. My arrival here was crucial to the survival of civilized life on Earth.” His voice lilts, smirking at the fear on everyone’s faces. He continues on, talking about the other compounds being overrun.

“Well, what happened to the people inside?” Timothy asks from beside you. Langdon takes his time focusing his attention on Timothy, who cowers in his seat.

“Massacred.” He says nonchalantly, almost as if he was asked what team won the Super Bowl. “The same fate that will befall almost all of you.”

“Almost all?” You don’t realize you’re the one that asked this until Langdon looks at you. His eyes twinkle, exactly the same way that the eyes in your dreams do whenever you say something he finds amusing.

“In the knowledge that this very moment might occur, we built a failsafe-The Sanctuary.”

“The Sanctuary?” Coco retorts, rolling her eyes.

“The Sanctuary is unique. It has certain security measures that will prevent overrun.”

“Excuse me, sir, what measures? Why weren’t we given them?” Ms. Mead asks.

“That’s classified.” He says sharply, holding up a hand dismissively. “All that matters is that The Sanctuary will...survive, so the people populating it will survive, so humanity will survive.”

“Who are the people who are populating it?” Andre takes a break from his leering to ask.

“Also classified.” Langdon rolls his eyes before glaring at Andre. Langdon elaborates on the reason why he was sent to the Outpost: to conduct a series of interviews that will determine who is ‘worthy’ of making their way to The Sanctuary and who isn’t.

“What is this, The Hunger Games? This is bullshit. I paid my way in here, and that is the only cooperating I plan on doing.” Coco argues, and you can see from her expression that she thinks she’s so clever with her ‘comeback.’

“You don’t have to sit for questioning.” You stifle a chuckle at just how annoyed Langdon looks.

“What happens if we choose not to?” Andre asks.

“Then you say here and die.” Everyone’s silent for a moment, digesting the information that Langdon’s just provided.

“I volunteer to go first.” Gallant speaks up, raising his hand eagerly. You look at him from across the room in confusion, and he shrugs at you.

“While I admire your willingness to get your Cooperation over with, I have already determined the order in which I shall conduct the interviews.” Everybody waits, ready to hear the order in which your fates will be decided. Instead, he pulls out a bottle of pills, which he then explains can be used by those who don’t make the cut so they can die peacefully instead of being eaten alive by cannibals.

“I look forward to meeting each and every one of you.” He makes eye contact with you once again, only looking away to make his departure. The spell of silence placed upon the room is suddenly broken with the closing of the doors behind Langdon, and everybody breaks out into excited chatter.

Like every conversation involving multiple Outpost residents, it eventually turns into an argument, but you can’t stop thinking about the mystery that surrounds Langdon.

Who is he? Why does something in you seem to know him? Does he know you, too? The sound of Ms. Venable’s cane hitting the floor is the wordless command that curfew’s coming up, and Timothy drags you up with he and Emily so you don’t get in trouble.

“Are you okay? You were spaced out there for a while.” He remarks.

“Yeah, I was just...thinking.”

“About your interview? Yeah, I’m pretty nervous too.” Emily smiles. You’re not nervous about the interview; in fact, you had forgotten about it completely, but you nod gratefully.

“It’ll all be okay, I’m sure. See you guys tomorrow?” From the way they’re both looking at each other, you can only assume that tonight is reserved for their one kiss of the week. You break away from the group when you see the platinum-blond head of your best friend a few feet away, already heading towards his room.

“Gal!” He turns around to look at you, purple-tinted sunglasses sliding down his nose. He grabs your hand, and you immediately know where you’re going.

There’s a secret hallways that only the Grays know about, and about a month into your stay Mallory showed you where it was so that you could hang out with her. As ‘assistants’ in the old world, you two had become rather close in the short amount of time that you each had your jobs. Since Grays were typically not permitted to speak to Purples, the only way you could see her without having to ask her to fetch you something is in secret. Gallant had eventually caught you going to meet Mallory, and the two of you decided to make this hallway your rendezvous spot as well. Although you get to see Gallant much more than Mallory, there’s still some things that can only be talked about when you’re absolutely sure that there’s no one listening.

“Okay, Langdon?” You throw out, settling on the cool cement ground next to Gallant.

“I know! Total hottie, right? I was getting serious gay-vibes off of him, too!” That’s not what you were planning on talking about, but leave it to Gal to use his ‘gaydar’ on everyone and everything.

“No, not that.”

“You didn’t think he was the finest piece of ass you’ve seen in the eighteen months we’ve been stuck down here?” He says in disbelief, clutching your arm as if hearing that hurts his very soul.

“No! I mean, yeah he’s kind of attractive, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Alright, spill the tea then.” He removes his sunglasses, fiddling with them before placing them on the outside of his shirt.

“You’re going to think that I’ve gone crazy, but just hear me out. I think...Langdon’s the man in my dreams.”

“Honey, he’s the man of all of our dreams.” You were expecting him to sigh, call you delusional or tell you that these dreams are getting to you more than he thought they were. He obviously has forgotten about the dreams that you’ve had nearly every night for almost three years, so wrapped up in his infatuation for the newest temporary resident.

“Gallant. I mean, he’s the guy I’ve been seeing in my dreams for as long as you’ve known me.” His face grows serious, but you’re just glad you’ve finally gotten through to him.

“Oh shit.” You giggle, rolling your eyes and playfully pushing him.

“Is that all you have to say about this?”

“Do you think it’s seriously him? How do you know?”

“His eyes. He looked kind of familiar before that, but when he looked at me I just...I’ve seen those eyes before. Those are the ones I see every night, I’m sure of it.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

You shrug. “Ask him, I guess?”

Gallant snorts. “‘Hey there, did you happen to know me before I lost all my memories?’” You laugh at his impression of you, his voice going up way farther than your own.

“Maybe not that outright, but I’ll have to mention it! If he knew me back then, maybe something he says can help me remember who I was before you found me.”

“Go for it, then. Really, what do you have to lose at this point?”

“(Y/N)!” A voice hisses, and you both startle at the unexpected intruder. Thankfully, it’s only Mallory, who looks just as scared as you feel right now. “Langdon wants to see you for your interview, Venable sent me to come and get you.”

You look at Gallant with wide eyes, but he returns it with an excited glint in his eyes. “Oh my God, now’s your chance! You’ve got this, you’re gonna kill that interview.”

“I wish he would have just let you go first.” You complain, standing up from your position on the floor.

“Oh, I’d much rather prefer it to be this way. The drama! The intrigue! I live for this shit!” After noticing the terrified look on your face, he pulls you into a hug. “Hey, you’re gonna be okay. It’s just an interview, that’s all. And if he ends up not knowing you, just tell him that it was an honest mistake.”

“(Y/N).” Mallory calls from behind you. Gallant nods and gives you a thumbs up before you disappear around the corner with the Gray.

You follow her in silence, not wanting to get her in trouble like the first time Venable caught you talking to her when she was supposed to be working. She pulls open the large doors to the office that once belonged to Ms. Venable, and you step inside. The doors close before you can get the chance to thank her, leaving you alone in the office with Langdon.

The man in question is already seated at the desk, looking over a manilla file filled with information that you presume is about you. He only glances up for a moment, beckoning you over with a wave of his hand. Taking a seat on the opposite side of the desk, you wait for him to speak. Instead, he just stares at you, and you smile nervously back at him. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking into your very soul, and you find yourself glancing around the room in a desperate attempt to not feel his eyes on you anymore.

“I won’t be telling you the criteria I’m using to grade you. Things you may feel are helpful may be hurtful, things you may feel will compel rejection may be exactly what I’m looking for. If you hedge, I will know. If you lie, I will know. And if you try to trick me, I will know, and this interview will be over. Are we clear?” He doesn’t raise his voice once, but that somehow makes it even more terrifying than it already is.

“Yes, Mr. Langdon.” You nod.

“Your file seems to be very...incomplete.” He starts, leaning back in his chair and looking at you. “Why?”

“I don’t know who I am, really. About three years ago, I woke up in an apartment that I didn’t recognize, with no memory of anything prior to that except for my name and the name of a friend.”

“Mr...Gallant.” He says with disdain.

“Yes. He took me in, gave me a job, basically helped me with anything and everything.”

“And you still don’t remember anything about your life prior to waking up in that apartment?”

“No. I’ve tried everything. Hypnotherapy, holistic remedies, just staring at a wall hoping I can remember something. None of it’s worked.” Your eyes track him as he stands from his chair, moving to sit on the desk so he can be closer to you.

“Tell me about your dreams.”

“My what?”

“Your dreams, the ones that you’ve been having consistently since you can remember?”

“H-how do you know about that?” He only smirks, tilting his head towards you.

“Answer the question, Ms. (Y/L/N).”

“Well, there’s three or so that are recurring, and then one major one that I usually have every night. Sometimes it’s these women, all dressed in black. I can’t see their faces, but I’m not scared of them; in fact, it feels like they might have been my family? There’s another one where I’m in a swamp, and so that leads me to believe I spent a lot of time in Louisiana. The other one is...scarier. I don’t ever actually see anything in that one, it’s all just blurry, but someone’s shooting a gun. People are screaming and crying, and I think I was hiding somewhere? I can’t be sure though.”

“And what about the last dream?” You blush, looking down at your hands instead of at Langdon’s face.

“It’s stupid.”

“All information may be pertinent to my final decision, regardless of whether you think it’s stupid or not.”

“Well...there’s a man. He has these beautiful blond curls, and we’re always touching each other in these dreams. Not like, in a sexual way, but we’re usually holding hands. I’ve never seen his face before, but sometimes I can just see a flash of his eyes. They’re shockingly blue, and the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Langdon stares at you for a long moment, and you flinch when his hand comes up to cup your face. The cool metal of his rings bites at your skin, and he grips your jaw to make you look up at him.

“Tell me who you are.” His voice is just barely above a whisper, and you find yourself straining to hear what he says.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. Somewhere, deep inside that pretty little head of yours, your true identity is just itching to reveal itself.”

“I want to leave.”

“Not until you remember who you are.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” Your anger is only rising at this man, who acts like he knows everything when he truly knows nothing. You shouldn’t lash out, since it could very well spell the end for you, but you’re too pissed off to care right now. “What, do you know who I am, Langdon? Did you meet me before I lost my memory?”

He smirks at you, moving his face closer to yours. The atmosphere is tense, and some time passes before he speaks again.

“It’s getting late. We’ll continue this interview tomorrow.” The doors open without anybody behind them, and Langdon gracefully gets off of the desk, sitting back down in his seat like nothing happened.

You shakily stand up, making your way to the door quickly so that he doesn’t call you back in. The doors start to close again after you’ve exited, and you take a chance and look behind your shoulder. Langdon’s still staring at you, those damn blue eyes illuminated by the light of the fire. He definitely knows something, you think, and I’m going to find out what it is.

Tag List: @queencocoakimmie @sebastianshoe @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @lichellaw @nana15774 @sammythankyou @pastel-cloudz @ultragibbycentralworld @let-me-try-mom @uptosomeseriousfuckshit @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @alexcornerblog @everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @dolceandchalamet @jimmlangdon @langdonsdemon @kahhlo @americanhorrorstudies (if I forgot anybody, please let me know!)

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 5 - Meat Page 7

==>

Okay, time for Rose and Dirk to talk delicious politics or something.

Heh, customary show-end riots.

Rose, stop causing all of us undue alarm.

Ascending? Is she going to fade out into a concept or something???

Oh shit, Dirk’s doing something similar.  Some sort of inevitability once God-Tier is reached or some such.

Dirk has a solution to the problem in the works.  That’s... well, Rose already cautioned that that could be ominous.  I hope it doesn’t involve decapitation.  Or robot bodies, or turning her into an omniscient cueball or something.

==>

Okay, stage play time.  I can see a weird-seeming text color choice for Caliborn down below, hm.  Time to read down to there...

Ah, the classic finale-callback thumbs down.  Nice.

...yeah, reinforcing the point he was trying to make a little less explicitly with his earlier finale of Homestuck that Lord English had really just, sort of, trapped them in this narrative that their ultimate reward would be to escape, realizing it never really mattered too much compared to their own long lives and happiness or something.

==>

Epilogue TWO??????  D:

Okay now it’s, like, Andrew commenting isn’t it.

Oh shit, it DOES suck them up and trap them? Huh. That explains how Jade was dealt with, I’d forgotten. Also because it was one of the huge goddamn unanswered fucking hugepoints that made it seem like a slap in the face when we were told it didn’t matter and-- yeah okay let me just keep reading.

Huh, broken glasses.

And, phew; the ages it takes is from an OUTSIDE perspective.  Let’s see what it is from an inside perspective...

==>

Jaaaane!!! :D

Okay let’s read about Janey.

Mhmm, that’s not that surprising... Dirk knew that Karkat was going to run against Jane, but Jane didn’t, even though Dirk was ostensibly “working” for her.  There’s definitely a plan here.  Maybe it involves Jane and Karkat smooching publicly at the end.  ...No, that’s just my wishful imagination talking, isn’t it.

Oh my god she’s screaming into a pillow at hearing she has competition.  That’s adorable.

YES, JANE.  UNDERESTIMATE KARKAT.  YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (though probably platonically).  It does upset me that they’ve taken this long to really get acquainted, though; I’ve argued for years that their personalities are naturally compatible as the straight men for all their friends’ bullshit.

In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun.

Yes, but he’d get over it.  And be a flaming president or something.

In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking.

Oh my FUCKING god, it’s true.  Dave’s appropriately liberal in the modern, Krugman-esque, statistically grounded way.  Karkat has my vote already.

She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal.

Hey fuck you.  Also, why the FUCK haven’t they used one of the myriad likely ways to extend Karkat’s lifespan basically indefinitely yet???  Heck, JANE could probably do it with Life powers if she crawled back out of her own butt!  We already know the Condesce could extend other trolls’ lifespans with weird troll powers so Life powers are almost certainly enough to suffice.  >:(

Ohhh, so maybe Jane is just, like... slightly traumatized by trolls? And thus a little tiny bit predisposed against trusting them cause of the Condesce? :(

Interesting how she views her past reliance on / pursuance of Jake as something that made her “weak” specifically.

Okay, I’m getting a slightly uncomfortable vibe that Jane is willing to almost play at seduction with Jake falsely to get his endorsement on--

And she’s willing to do more than that, too.

Okay FUCK, JANE.  GET YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL.  I’m starting to believe the shittalking the others have given about you!  You’d better shape up by the end of this epilogue or what have you.

==>

Okay, trapped John can hear the other three through the walls of their prison or something.

Conversation and musings, conversation and musings.....

Wait, Jade LIVES with Dave and Karkat in that SAME HOUSE and they didn’t even mention it??!??  What is even up with their thing.

Heh, John’s thinking he really could have used a nice kismesis riling him up to better himself.  That’s what they’re for, really.

There there, John.

==>

Oh my fucking GOD, Jane rolls with supply side economics???  TAKE.  HER.  DOWN.

And Jade is just... here?  Huh.

Yeah they DEFS weren’t listening.

JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths.....

HOLY SHIT.  HOLY SHIT.  JADE IS SO INTO EITHER OF THEM THAT THEY CAN’T TAKE IT, CAN THEY.  THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

Her tail swishes from side to side

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A FUCKING TAIL HOW IS THAT SUDDENLY CANON

I’M NOT MAD IM JUST SURPRISED

Wasn’t that something that the ask-responses from Andrew said she canonically DIDN’T have or what the fuck

Since I guess it wasn’t confirmed IN CANON he just decided he liked it enough to offer it here or???? I DON’T KNOW????

Wow why am I all worked up by this all of a sudden.  It’s just transferring from her earlier line isn’t it.

three of her bras

Okay no nevermind Andrew’s just fucking with us.

...Even though this can probably still be considered canon.  Which only makes how he’s fucking with us work even better, really.  I mean, why WOULDN’T he lob this at us on the ten year anniversary and watch us squirm, really.  There’s no incentive not to.

--oh wait wait never mind reading further these are just bras from different days she threw over the couch.  PHEW.  I thought for a second that we were dealing with dog anatomy stuff that would REQUIRE multiple bras on her.  Jesus.  I wonder if Andrew intentionally phrased things so some people would think that for a minute.

JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype

Pffffff

Wait, is it that Dave and Karkat’s relationship isn’t quite full-hearts sexual and Jade is incessantly shipping them?? :O

because that’d be hilarious too??  --*reads*

YESSSS JADE BEING SUPER STAT WHIZ WITH HER SUPER PARTOMNIDOG SPACE BRAIN YES

The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive? 

f uck

dog hormones

i’m wheezing

Alright, Jade’s springing a thorough relationship talk on them.  That’s cool.  Also she’s throwing statistics in there and I LOVE that now that Jade is older we’re reinforcing just how scary science smart she is, I can’t wait to see other people roleplaying her properly because of it too.

...Yeah Jade would definitely date a chess couple

Jade sighs and crawls closer. She takes one of Karkat’s hands in hers.

JADE: i think wed all work good together

AAAAAAAA :D :D :D

JADE: and i think weve been dancing around that for years now JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFF OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS PERFECT

Jade being

literally the thirstiest person in this ENTIRE CAST OF CHARACTERS

to the point that everyone’s calling her out on it

in something that’s virtually goddamn canon

holy fucking shit I love everything.  I love life.  Living in a universe where this hilarious shit happens is fun.

....pFFFF JADE DIDN’T KNOW OBAMA WAS REAL THIS IS AMAZING

Ooh, dueling god-tier powers for petty reasons.

OH NO DICK DRAWINGS ARE LIKELY IMMINENT

THAT OR A CHART

OR BOTH

...yeah her hair would get everywhere, wouldn’t it.

yes make fun of ship names some more

What Jade leaves in her wake is not quite the emotional scorched-earth situation that she was going for, but a few of her needles have definitely gotten under some skin. Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

So this whole time Jade’s been all “JUST KISS ALREADY” and they’ve been all “what no” and now she’s just laid it all out in the open and left them to it.  Yeah that sounds about like what would’ve happened.

Aaaand of course, since this is Dave and Karkat, they just choose to stall some more and play video games.  Jade really DOES complete this relationship with her pushing them to accept reality and stop downplaying their own feelings and self-esteem and all.  But that’s what I thought would happen BEFORE I even read any epilogue stuff so I’m biased.

==>

Pff, Vriska time.

You’ve now got two bitches of either gender at your side

Vriska, shame!  Don’t use that kind of language!!

Yep, this version of her didn’t learn her lesson and is still pretty much completely delusional.

Alright, Real Terezi™ is still flying out in the abyss trying to scoop Vriska out of this jam, cool, cool.

Flailing and spinning, screaming, not being able to see the final event or whatever-- someone save her already we know it’s gonna happen!

JOHN: Emerge from the juju.

Oh.  Well, that’s uncomfortably in line with earlier presumably-discredited theories.  About John saving Vriska from the black hole the Green Sun left in its wake and all.  :|

Yawns too wide and snaps in half?  The moment he was dreaming about?

==>

Oh hai Jake.  This really IS the perfect time to get to see some attempted-exploitative discomfort between Jane and you.  I mean that!  The narrative timing is pretty hilarious.

The sunset has turned the head offices of Crockercorp into a shimmering glass monolith—a beacon, if you will, of the future, visible for miles in every direction.

Jane probably likes to think about it that way at least.

Wow, Jane REALLY sounds like she needs to be knocked down a peg or seven.

The whole place is candlelit, and Jane is reclining on her desk, sprawled out like a lounge singer on a grand piano.

OH MY FUCKING GOD JANE STOP BEING A SLIMEBAG!!!! D: D: D:

Thank you, Jake, for coming through and tanking this.

This is not really the kind of conversation you initiate if you’re looking to extract a sexual deal out of someone. It is, however, the kind of conversation that you might have with a childhood friend who has become somewhat emotionally estranged from you.

THANK FUCKING GOD.  Jane has been saved from herself for the moment.

Okay I see a whole bunch of paragraphs of black text down below just as these two are likely coming together for a kiss.  Uh oh.

...Yep, kiss there.  And, uh...

Okay whew, most of it is Jake privately soliloquy-ing to the narrative about the circumstances leading up to this. I can deal with that.

...Oh my god he keeps thinking of Dirk while getting in close to Jane.  This is gonna blow up in his face isn’t it.

Reading on....

--Ah, yeah, he just realizes he’s more into Dirk I guess.  Ouch.  Ouch, Jane.

DIRK: Were you nice to him? JANE: Well, I... DIRK: I told you, you can’t be nice to Jake. JANE: ...

PPFffffffffff

DIRK: Why don’t you leave Jake to me?

Now ain’t that telling?

Ooh, getting down to plot business with Rose.

==>

Back to John.  I see a bit that says “Listen” there, is he going to hear Vriska screaming? Or is Terezi going to pick her up? Since, like, I mean she has the jetpack and has been searching for her longer and stuff.

Yep, big ol’ LE tantrum.  Though alt!Calliope seems at least as much at fault for the end of the universe as him, if not moreso.

Ah, right, Andrew wanted us to THINK he’d hear Vriska screaming just so he could troll us like that.  Makes more sense, anyway.

Huh, the Juju just pops away.

OW.  Down a spare Rose, just like that, huh?  Probably part of why main Rose knew what the plan was supposed to be for all this.

Ah right, can’t use your Green Sun powers here, Jade.

OW.  Another quasi-doomed side-character death.

Yep, you have to make a tough, leaderly decision and let go.  :C  --Oh crap, you saved her body.  Are you gonna put the ring there or what, I’m not sure where that’s going plotways.

Pff, the whole fight going south just due to John losing his glasses... that’s pretty funny from a perspective.

Oh huh, real ghost Tavros gets nuked.

Oh shit, Meenah’s going in!  Don’t die, I actually care about this version of you!!

--Ah, thrown out and fate unclear, that’s a bit better than clear death.

Hm, Davepeta vs English round two?  I wonder what the purpose of all of this really is, anyway, beyond just a sense that some only implied-wrapped-up things are being actually wrapped up?  This whole Meat arc?  Is Candy going to be ultimately more important to everyone, as was part of the point, or?  Huhhm.

Final Round!!

Hammer buffet!

Slight obligatory feelings allusion via hammer!

Oh no! VORE!!! D:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < wrow you almost got vored to death

Phew, avoided

Ow, another decapitation.  There’s a killing blow and being trapped forever in a black hole for LE to look forward to, though.  Weren’t there theories about him being trapped forever at the center of that black hole or whatever?  Huh.  I mean there WAS the garbage disposal that his metaphorical Jigsaw-head gets stuck in early in the comic after all.

Alright, Davepeta sticks him in there?  Cool.

Yeah, you just had to remind us that he’s going to be plunging into his dead sister’s gaping hole, didn’t you? >:|

Davepeta. How they were so unfettered and brave. How they sacrificed themselves by flying right into the black hole like...

Like a fucking piece of garbage, you can almost hear Dave saying. May God rest his soul.

Yup.  Closing another callback.  Why is it silent, though?  Did the black hole stop sucking now that it’s gotten almost everything but John, or is it just his blackout?  I mean, is the end of everything just a thing that “happens” (which is still pretty fine, Paradox Space had a pretty good run), or did it just stop, or is it yet to be resolved or re-John-creates-Paradox-Space’s-beginning-because-hes-the-only-thing-left-constituted if he inexplicably doesn’t die from his heroic wounds or?  And Terezi definitely didn’t go flying around Paradox Space’s dying remains just to get sucked in too, right?  I definitely haven’t seen the whole picture yet I guess.

==>

Alright, back to Rose... actually this post’s getting long so I’ll cut here and keep going in another post.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e36

So this will be 10 episodes since the one where we lost Molly. Just throwing that out there.

Also it’s apparently my 9 (NEIN) month anniversary for being subbed to G&S which means it’s also my 9 month anniversary for watching CR and also the show has been going for 9 months as of the 11th so. That’s cool.

I like that jacket, Sam.

Broadway advert lol

“Andrew Loyd Website”

“I could have backed up all night” and “I’ve grown accustomed to her encryption” I’m dead

Okay that was hands down Sam’s best ad he’s so goddamn creative

NEW YORK NEW YORK I’m so excited I loved the last live show

A SLEEVES ARE BULLSHIT SHIRT?!

I need it

Oh wait it doesn’t actually say sleeves are bullshit

I still love the shirt tho and I want one

And the bumper sticker

“It makes it sound bad when you say it like that” guys it WAS bad xD

Poor Caduceus is having an Experience

Cad: “You keep leaving”

Y: “They keep finding me”

Cad: “I think you might have the right idea”

THE FUCK? NO

guys you need to convince Caduceus to sTAY

HE’S ALIVE?!

HE HAS AN AXE IN HIS HEAD

Oh no don’t get Cad he’s sad and tired right now

I mean y’all almost left him behind which was crummy

Caleb really wanted to yank that axe out

Also how does healing work? Like does the guy have permanent brain damage in the are where the axe wrecked now? If it had hit somewhere vital to like, say, memory, would his memory be gone? Enquiring minds want to know.

When Caleb tries to be intimidating it both makes me laugh but also freaks me out a little

I LOVE when Matt has cool props

So does Travis lol

J: “Have you heard of THE Traveler”

Galen: “….Oh no not another one”

Nott and Jester building up Galen like “no no you’re totally special!!!”

“Missed all the major organs” sAM xD

“The Mist…ake” I’m crying

lol promoting this guy to first mate I’m crying

“We got a new pet!”

“Let’s call him Professor Thadeus the second!”

They forgot they had someone tied to the mast too what nerds

They cut up his nice shirt xD

I adore that Travis has totally got the islands and shit memorized so he can be super in-character

Also Cad is being too quiet it’s making me sad

Caleb The Navigator

Captain Fjord

First Mate Galen

Oh oh oh they should have a guest to come aboard and sail with them

Oh noooo they left the magic invisible cart

YES THANK YOU MATT y’all need to talk to Caduceus thank you Matt for pointing out that poor Taliesin has been silent for 30 minutes

Oh no have they somehow fucked over Cad’s mission?

I’m curious about this. Because obviously Taliesin knew this was exactly how the M9 were, so I can’t believe that he would have made Cad to be wholly incompatible with them.

He’s feeling really low and lost I think it’s time for a group hug

Him almost dying really freaked him out (and I think it really freaked Taliesin out too)

I’M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW WITH JESTER AND CADUCEUS YOU GUYS

Caduceus is the ship’s cook

Mmm Beau is starting to feel like Caleb is trying too hard to excuse the bad things they do

I think the dock thing was a disaster for sure but I don’t think it was necessarily that they REALLY did anything wrong?

I’m not sure what exactly Beau is feeling bad about? Like freeing the genie wasn’t wrong, the boat thing was a mistake built on bad choice but it wasn’t them being inherently bad, and they didn’t kill Algar, so?

Ah, she’s feeling like she didn’t leave Nicodranus better than she found it

I like this whole “why didn’t we try to talk it out first” thing because it’s nice that two of them are having some moral conflicts. I also like what it says about Fjord and Beau as far as character development.

I mean I don’t think boiling it down to “like we were justified in our actions” really covers what Caleb said. He did say they could have handled things a lot better, but that they did what they had to to survive a situation they could have but didn’t handle better.

“I don’t want to drive you guys away” BEAUUUU my heart

Yasha staring off south “looking for a storm”

Caduceus cooking for the group is literally just my favorite thing. They totally needed a group member who could like make them slow down and eat and just like… take care of themselves, even just for the length of the meal.

Beau went from “I’m sorry for killing these guys” to “fuck those guys they’re dead anyway let’s smear their name”

We should not split up

There’s no way any of this could go wrong

Awwww Caleb showing Nott the stars and planets so sweet

SEE Caleb understands that things went horribly wrong. I honestly think he’s just trying to keep their spirits’ up.

Nott honey you don’t have to be okay with him using suggestion, I understand you both admire and need him but you can be mad at him

“Nott is a one-earther”

Have I mentioned how much I love Caduceus?

Fjord’s just like “please tell me you mean you talk to alive grieving people and not the dead people”

Oh no

They’re coming for them

You should NOT go back

Sam is like “why the fuck are we going back” and I agree so hard

Fjord should not stay on the ship Nott is right

N: “Oh, oh, what other languages do you speak?!”

J: “I speak Infernal”

Everyone cracks up

Oh this is going to be another disaster

Although I guess the guard guys wouldn’t be expecting them to immediately come back?? Maybe??

“YOU’RE THE SAILOR GUY THIS IS YOUR WHOLE EPISODE” lol sam

“I’m gonna bake, fuck it” I LOVE CAD

“I look like Captain Crunch btw” I’m crying can’t breathe omg

Except isn’t the captain dead lol

“Unknown do-gooders” well that wasn’t the reputation I expected

UH HEY I HOPE MARION DIDN’T HEAR ABOUT THE BLUE SKINNED TIEFLING KILLING HERSELF

These lies are getting more and more ridiculous

“The little devil girl who drowned a hundred years ago” Taliesin and the idea of a ghost story is just… so perfect.

Beau stop xD

If this ghost story isn’t in campaign 3 someday I’m gonna cry

I’m so glad that Orli is coming along

They hired the tortle! :D

Nott is really being adorable with the “we are a team and you are important” thing. Obvious, but adorable.

Taliesin wanted ghost stories and now we’re getting islands people avoid because strange ancient unnatural stuff

Okay quick aside but this conversation with Yasha and Caduceus makes me think — I love how there’s this group of people who seemingly should have nothing in common, but in a lot of ways they have things they can understand about each other. Struggles they can related to. It’s really nice.

Jester and her multiple message spells lol

I’ll miss you Marion!

Oooo a glow in the water?

Awww Matt that’s really pretty!

“Sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt you the worst” that’s very profound, Jester.

I’m gonna cry I don’t want Jester to be sad don’t be sad (Laura needs to stop looking like she’s gonna cry because it’s gonna make me cry)

And the way she does this little laugh like she’s trying to brush off how sad she is like STOP IT IM EMOTIONAL.

Marion was gonna leave with Jester’s dad but then he didn’t come back and I’m thinking at some point they had better kick the Gentleman’s ass for abandoning her

The way Fjord is so sweet and soft with Jester is so cute I can’t decide if I ship them or if I just want them to be soft and close but not romantic I think I’d be happy either way but my god Fjord’s being so gentle with her is killing me

“There are vegetarian options as well”

Marius: “Thank you, thank you, it’s very good—they’re crazy aren’t they?”

Cad: “Oh yeah, they’re completely crazy.”

I desperately hope they get attacked by a sea monster at some point

“Captain Tusktooth”

Tiny elf-owl Frumpkin omg

He’s loaning her tiny owl Frumpkin for a week I cry

M: “I poke him to see if he bites me”

Tr: “He’s dead”

“I’m gonna probably start talking to fish at some point in the near future” Caduceus Doolittle

When Nott is sincere like when she’s talking to Caduceus right now is so sweet

I take it back it’s too soon to talk about Molly Sam

“Between you and me, Jester’s a really bad cleric, so…” and Laura almost spits out her drink lol

I want to meet the rest of the Clays someday I hope some of them are still alive

“A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter” Nott is getting me in my feelings tonight

Matt: “You get the sense that the fish would be happy to”

Cad/Tal: “I’m a lunatic aren’t I?”

M: “Yeah.”

C/T: “I’m sorry.”

M: “Yeah, no, it’s great! :D”

The fish: “sure, sure, suresuresuresure sure”

Oh godddd sky monster?

Bird?

WHAT IS IT

“Professor Thadeus…?”

Oh. Fuck. Creepy flying humanoid thing.

lol Beau making sure it’s not Yasha

Oh jeez poor Yasha

…Okay Matt that wasn’t cool because it’s past midnight and the windows are open and I’m feeling weirdly paranoid now

HERE WE GO

Harpies omggggg

Caleb’s really not gonna be able to use fire for this without risking the ship

Oh fuck don’t get the deck hands

Okay the sail isn’t that big a deal Jester can probably mend it, so save the deck hand first

Harpies are not sirens that shouldn’t be allowed to do anything

Oh poor Nott

SAVE THE CREW PERSON FIRST BEAU

I love Cad’s beetles

“Snack time” Cad you’re so creepy sometimes xD

15pts of beetle damage hell yeah

Okay I take it back Beau might have done the best thing saving the sail.

Okay this is too easy of a fight tho what’s coming that’s worse

Oh daaaaamn snapped her neck with the sail rope

Caleb Nott this isn’t nice xD

“We saved his life with the power of friendship” I’m crying

F: “How do we prevent further heart episodes?”

N: “MORE FRIENDSHP. MORE FRIENDSHIP.”

Awkward friend hugs are best hugs

Nott please don’t eat harpy meat

Cad’s gonna compost the harpy

Beau is keeping Frumpkin in her pocket of course she is

Poor Travis just like “I DIDN’T KNOW ID ACTUALLY HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO CAPTAIN A SHIP” poor guy

Oh god the ship is gonna sink

They’re gonna end up stranded on the cursed island just watch

Gonna try and block the hole…. with a mattress

I’m shocked they managed to patch it bless Galen for that Nat20

Caleb being clever to save the ship with his magic bubble

I hope they don’t get Orli killed

They gonna get sunk

Oh wait

Does Caleb have to stay inside the bubble?? I hope it doesn’t start to fill too much

YAAAAAS what a good episode!

SO MUCH SAILING PIRATE-Y FUN

Oh please wear pirate outfits I’m begging

I’m so excited for next week

[01sentencereviews]

this bryan singer exposé (i mean, it’s not really an “exposé” since it’s been pretty well documented over the past several years that singer is a man who is not to be trusted…) has me reflecting a lot on my own experiences working in the industry…

(mind you: i’ve never experienced anything quite as dehumanizing or as abusive or as painful as the dozens of brave survivors of genuine abuse who have spoken out recently both publicly and privately. however, these stories are definitely and scarily recognizable, so please know i am in full support of every silence breaker.) 

i’ve been a PA on a network television show for about 15 months now, and while (thankfully?) the vast majority of my stress and occasional unhappiness has been totally “work” related, thanks to all the typical bullshit most people experience when they begin working full-time in entry level positions (constantly feeling undervalued, feeling pressured to enable and excuse terrible behavior simply because you’re “supposed” to, having to almost daily hear people tell you how “wrong” you are and point out the most minute of “mistakes” you make solely to make themselves feel better), i am very familiar with the type of behavior several victims are finally beginning to feel comfortable talking about publicly. 

i’m a gay 23 year old person (22 when i began working full time), who only began feeling comfortable being “out” once i finally  graduated from school and began working in the industry, finally feeling like a “real adult.” i’m apparently very young looking, which people, particularly older (gay) men, LOVE to point out… which makes me uncomfortable (tho, thankfully, i wouldn’t say any of them have “crossed the line”). the industry is clearly “open” when is comes to anything sex related, which, to be frank, was sort of exciting in the beginning because it was the first time i felt comfortable, “safe” being an openly gay person and talking about sex and men in any type of romantic or sexual way. that being said, i definitely see older man pry on younger employees, particularly young women. i selfishly and loathly recognize the juvenile positive response to having a more “important” person show interest in you, so i clearly understand why people put up with such inappropriateness. 

i’ve only had sex with one coworker. in an industry where this supposed hierarchy of people is so highly regarded and followed, he is obviously considered a much more “important” person than me within the production (granted, as a PA, everyone is technically “above” me and considered more “important” simply because “that’s the way it is”). he is older (the first time we hooked up, he was 30 and i was 22), and he did offer me drugs in the middle of the first time we were having sex. admittedly, this was a new experience for me and it confused me and even scared me slightly, but i was very thankful that when i said no, he didn’t try to pressure me whatsoever and never once asked me about it again. the experience was very much consensual, so i don’t want this to be literally compared with other people’s stories of assault and abuse. i was extremely lucky. we’ve hooked up one other time since and that experience was honestly very nice. i still really like this person, perhaps way more than i’d like to officially admit, to the point where it makes me sad to realize nothing will, or maybe should, result from these possible very one-sided feelings. 

i’ve been to industry parties where drugs are clearly prevalent and in abundance. i work in an environment where drugs are clearly being used during work hours. i mean, i’m no narc… but i do realize this isn’t “normal.” it’s very hard to explain… everyone in the industry is essentially “working” well over 50% of their conscious livelihoods. we’re at work constantly. at least 12 hrs/day. the work never “stops.” people, especially those in higher positions, need to always be thinking about the overall production because so much money ($$$) is always being spent at absolutely every level, and we all know how people react when it comes to money… it’s a LAX work environment, but a stressful one. i’ve seen grown adults (men) throw extreme and sometimes frightening tantrums, throwing objects and furniture across their offices, for something as rudimentary as the internet working slowly. i’ve know people who have been fired for sexually inappropriate behavior and for violence against other coworkers. we’re always encouraged to be a “family,” that we’re all in this together, but that clearly means people think they’re allowed to talk about whatever they want whenever they want with whomever they want. it’s exhausting. being around people for that long every single day is exhausting. i can easily see how people can become victims to such manipulative, inappropriate, and sometimes intimidating behavior from people who have zero issue with letting them know how much more “important” they are. at our wrap party last season, the underage actors were partying with us at two different bars. i don’t think they were “partying” in the same way the other adults were, but i also realize i was definitely under the influence while i was around them, and that makes me very uncomfortable in retrospect because i don’t feel like i should be in that state when i’m around teenagers. but at the same time, because they are cast members, part of the “family,” they are clearly expected to be there. 

the entertainment industry is one where everyone is expected to “grow up” immediately (one of the first things a coworker said to me on my very first week of work was that i had “a lot of growing up to do”), yet it’s also an industry where literally no one ever “grows up.” maybe every adult feels this way in this world. maybe it’s not just those that work in tv and film. but, either way, working in this particular industry, where my coworkers are constantly talking about these silence breakers and how they themselves are coming to the realization that their experiences with other coworkers sometimes mimic the experiences of the silence breakers, it’s hard to not be constantly reflecting on all of this. it’s overwhelming. it’s sad. 

i don’t expect for these stories of abuse in the industry to slow down any time soon. i think more and more “important” people will be “exposed.” it seems that most young people like me who are just now entering this business simply aren’t willing to put up with this bullshit. i’ve had my direct boss pull me aside multiple times now to tell me that i’m too “combative” in the office and need to literally dwindle myself, my newfound voice, in order to be considered a more cooperative, “better” employee. these conversations, while somewhat reflecting truth, are still nonetheless condescending and make me feel like literal shit. 

i’m very inspired by everyone speaking out. i think it’s brave and important and provides genuine hope for a better future. obviously, there’s some hypocrisy within the industry itself. obviously many celebs are jumping on board with this movement while still actively supporting literal predators. in some ways, i feel like i’m doing something similar by simply working in this current industry… but i refuse to stay silent. i find great confidence when i, a little, “unnecessary” PA, tell one of my “superiors” when they’re being terrible. i refuse to feel bad for telling adults, my literal peers, when they’re being shitty, mean, hurtful people. it’s important. it holds people accountable. i need to be even better at it. i promise to be even better at it, even if it potentially gets me fired. 

i feel like i’m not explaining myself well (do i ever?)… it’s all just A Lot to be saying…

no matter what, have a great night, everyone :) 

and thank you for reading. 

[yennefers-geralt]

Arya + Survival and Adaptability

Since making this post which illustrates how Arya has gone through a great deal, much of which is very similar to what Sansa survived, I’ve gotten a lot of responses both positive and negative. The negative ones criticize the post for comparing the sisters and then follow it up with comparing the sisters but in a way that props one up while bashing Arya. 

This all proves that the insistence that Arya couldn’t survive in her sister’s place, despite going through the exact same thing but without the protection of being a valuable hostage who can’t be killed on a whim, is rooted in Arya hate. Many blame the show for this, but in this case D&D are only parroting certain corners of the fandom. If people aren’t insisting that Arya is too stupid or too focused on violence to survive, they’re saying things like this:

@ladyandtheghost​ said: 

First off, everyone can have their own opinion on this. Personally, I think Sansa is right and that Arya would not have survived King’s Landing. But NOT because she is weaker or stupid (or whatever people want to interpret into Sansa’s words here) but because Arya is IMPULSIVE. That doesn’t have anything to do with stupidity, only with her direct and impulsive personality. She has a quick temper and doesn’t give a shit that she gets in trouble for it. How can people deny this when it’s one of the traits people usually love about her? Did no one pay attention to how she had to learn to control her impulsive nature in order to become an assassin in Braavos? It’s not just about blind sword fighting and wearing masks. It’s about self-control. And Arya had very little self-control when it came to Joffrey and his bullshit. And if Cersei could not prevent Joffrey from killing Ned, no one could have prevented Joffrey from killing Arya. And that’s what Sansa is referring to. Joffrey remained No 1 on Aryas death list and she would have gotten herself killed trying to kill him sooner or later if she had stayed in KL at the court like Sansa. I mean, could you imagine Arya just quietly suffering all the abuse she got from Joffrey and Cersei? Seriously? It doesn’t negate Arya’s own suffering, she had a totally different arc (which both sisters discussed ffs down in the crypts when thei reunited) but Sansa is right here in saying that the shit she had to put up with were not the kind of situation Arya would have voluntarily suffered through. The fact that she cannot understand Sansa’s point at all confirms that she would have acted very differently in KL and it would have been her death.

Secondly, I don’t get how people feel they need to compare and weigh one sister’s suffering against the other. Thank you, D&D for ruining each and every part of the fandom and for having fans that used to be halfway decent to one another now feel they need to aggressively bash the other.

Anyone who has read the novels, Arya’s chapters in particular, would be able to shoot enough holes through this to sink a ship. Usually I just suggest that people read the novels when I see such canonically incorrect character bashing or I direct them to this post on my old blog where I thoroughly discussed the issue. But it seems that parts of it need to be reposted here:

It’s true that Arya has a temper and can be impulsive, especially early on in the series. But even in AGOT, she shows that she does have self-control and isn’t guided purely by impulse. For example:

“It was the scariest thing she’d ever done. She wanted to run and hide, but she made herself walk across the yard, slowly, putting one foot in front of the other as if she had all the time in the world and no reason to be afraid of anyone. She thought she could feel their eyes, like bugs crawling on her skin under her clothes. Arya never looked up. If she saw them watching, all her courage would desert her, she knew, and she would drop the bundle of clothes and run and cry like a baby, and then they would have her. She kept her gaze on the ground.”

“It was all Arya could do not to bolt and run, but she knew that if she did, they would be after her at once. She made herself walk closer.”

In both of these situations, Arya is able to fight her natural impulses, force herself to stay calm, and thinks through the situations rationally. If she had no self-control or if she was half as wild as some claim she is, she wouldn’t have made it out of the Red Keep to begin with.

There are far more examples of Arya controlling her behavior and showing that she has self-control. I chose early examples specifically because even those who concede that Arya is able to learn to control herself usually follow it up with some variation of, “She didn’t have any self-control at all at the beginning, so she would have been killed off before she had a chance to learn!” But, as you can see, this is something she is capable of early on.

Self-control is a quality in Arya that grows through necessity during her journey. It would be the same if she were somehow taken prisoner by the Lannisters.

Common criticism: Arya doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut!

A few early examples of Arya keeping her mouth shut:

“Hot Pie took her silence to mean she was scared, or stupid, or deaf.” – ACOK

“She did not answer. It seemed safer not to talk to anyone.” – ACOK

“It mattered to her, but she chewed her lip and kept quiet, listening.” – ACOK

“By the time they marched, Arya knew she was no water dancer. Syrio Forel would never have let them knock him down and take his sword away, nor stood by when they killed Lommy Greenhands. Syrio would never have sat silent in that storehouse nor shuffled along meekly among the other captives.” – ACOK

“A broken lip taught Arya to hold her tongue.” – ACOK

“Arya dropped her gaze and said nothing.” – ACOK

This is by far not a complete list. It’s just a handful of early examples.

I’m not saying that Arya never speaks out of turn. She does. Multiple times. But she isn’t incapable of being quiet and she does learn when to hold her tongue more and more through her experiences. Sansa also shows that not staying quiet doesn’t result in immediate death. She talks back to Joffrey on a number of occasions and is still alive as of the current canon. He often had her beaten afterward. She survived and Arya has survived beatings as well.

Joffrey remained No 1 on Aryas death list and she would have gotten herself killed trying to kill him sooner or later if she had stayed in KL at the court like Sansa.

People have this image of Arya as this impulsive, blood thirsty killer. But remember that had the Lannister’s taken her prisoner, the only person she may or may not have killed at that point (depending on when they took her captive) would have been the stable boy whose death was more of an accident. Arya learns kill on the road during the battle of the holdfast, when Jaqen brings her along when they free the Northmen, and then when she kills the guard to leave Harrenhall. 

None of this would happen in an AU where she was in King’s Landing. She would be disarmed if she ever got a weapon, though she knows to hide her weapons, per canon, and is often too frightened to act during much of her captivity. If Wheeze scares Arya to the point where she doesn’t dare misbehave or try to escape when she sees her chance or even look at him the wrong way, wouldn’t her abusers in King’s Landing garner the same response, if not a worse one? She’s seen them murder her father and would undoubtedly be forced to look at his severed head. She would hate herself for not taking action, just as she hates herself in the novels, but she would know enough to control her behavior.

But anyway, the Lannisters wouldn’t kill her regardless of behavior. With Robb rebelling against the crown and holding Jaime prisoner, it was important for the Lannisters to hold onto their own hostages for bargaining and for ensuring Jaime’s safety. That is why Tyrion is disappointed when he finds out that Arya is missing. That’s why he tries so hard to have her found. The importance of finding Arya and keeping their current hostage alive is mentioned repeatedly.

“And if the gods are good, Bywater will find Arya alive, before Robb learns she’s gone missing.” – Tyrion, ACOK

“Why must I suffer accusations every time some Stark stubs his toe? This was Greyjoy’s work, I had nothing to do with it.”

“Let us hope Lady Catelyn believes that.”

Her eyes widened. “She wouldn’t-”

“-kill Jaime? Why not? What would you do if Joffrey and Tommen were murdered?”

“I still hold Sansa!” the queen declared.

“We still hold Sansa,” he corrected her, “and we had best take good care of her.” – Cersei and Tyrion, ACOK

“Tyrion glanced round the yard. “Where’s the Stark girl?”

For a moment no one answered. Finally Joffrey said, “She was riding by me. I don’t know where she went.”

Tyrion pressed blunt fingers into his throbbing temples. If Sansa Stark had come to harm, Jaime was as good as dead.” – Tyrion and Joffrey, ACOK

“One parting request. Kindly make certain no harm comes to Sansa Stark. it would not do to lose both the daughters.” – Tyrion, ACOK

The Lannisters have a vested interest in keeping Sansa alive and finding Arya. It is something even Joffrey seems to understand.

“Frowning, he lowered the crossbow. “I’d shoot you too, but if I do Mother says they’d kill my uncle Jaime.” – Joffrey, ACOK

They would have felt the same about Arya if they had found her. They would have done what they could to keep her alive. They definitely wouldn’t have killed her. Even Joff understands that they can’t kill a Stark girl in this political climate.

Before anyone tries to point out that Ned was murdered, remember that he was not a hostage. Robb hadn’t beaten the Lannisters and he hadn’t taken Jaime prisoner at that point. Besides, the books make it clear that Joff’s decision to kill him was a plot arranged beforehand, likely with Littlefinger pulling the strings. He would have no reason to arrange that sort of plot with Arya.

If you have any further “rebuttals” I suggest you read the novels and/or this post where the scenario is discussed at length.

Now, I would like to “thank” D&D for inciting this wank. It’s been wild. I don’t know why some want to bash them and then agree with them in the next breath, but here we are.

[missjugheadjones]

Who Cares You’re A Serpent?

Word Count:2780

A/N: This one was requested multiple times, a serpent!Jughead x reader with a touch of upset betty,  and i hope i did you guys justice, and this is what you wanted! enjoy! much love!

MasterList

Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm

    Y/N slowly opened her eyes, the vibrating noise from the table waking her up. She looked around and found herself on her couch, the TV blasting Family Guy throughout the small apartment. She must have fallen asleep after the jubilee, it was a tiring night and she didn’t exactly have all that great of a time. Too much seeing Jughead, the boy she had been helplessly in love with for months, being all couple-y and cute with Betty.

Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm

    She looked over to the coffee table in front of her and her phones screen was lit up, showing that she had an oncoming call from Betty. She picked up the phone and swiped to answer it. “Hey B, what’s up?”

    “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for about a half hour now!” she yelled, and Y/N started to feel worry set it, Betty sounded panicked.

    “I fell asleep on my couch, I’m sorry.” Y/N stuttered.

    “I thought you got shot too!” Betty yelled, and panic shot through Y/N. She stood from her couch and started running for her shoes.

    “Who got shot? What the hell is going on?” she yelled, anxiety coursing through her voice and body.

    “A lots going on, Fred got shot in Pops just about a half hour ago, he was in critical condition when the ambulance picked him up, and Archie is a mess. Not only that, but Cheryls house caught on fire, and Jughead joined the Southside Serpents.” Bettys voice rang through Y/Ns ears.

   “Oh my god. What the hell is happening to this fucking town!” Y/N yelled, running out of her house, her dress flying around in the windy night. She started to walk towards Jugheads trailer, thankfully it wasn’t too far from her shitty apartment.

    “Can you talk to Jughead, tell him that this whole Serpent thing isn’t a good idea, he won’t listen to me for whatever reason, but maybe he’ll listen to you.” Betty pleaded, and Y/N rolled her eyes although no one was there to see it.

    “You’re his girlfriend and he didn’t listen to you, what makes you think he’ll listen to me?” Y/N argued, and Betty sighed on the other end of the phone.

    “You’re his best friend. He always listens to you, doesn’t matter what it’s about, you’re the only person whose advice he takes to heart. I wish he’d listen to me, but I guess I’m just not as important.” Betty said sadly, and Y/N felt her heart drop a little. Betty was her best girl-friend, she hated that she felt that way.

    “Betty, you’re far more important to him than me, that’s why he chose you. But, I’ll give it a shot. Why does it matter that he became a serpent anyways, it’s expected. His dad was one, so it’s not that big of a surprise he is.” Y/N said, turning a corner and looking both ways before she crossed the street.

    “Because Jughead is better than that, anyways, there is no way I could be with a serpent, no matter who it was. Look, I love Jughead, but if he stays, I’m gone. I can’t deal with that.”Betty said, and Y/N could tell it hurt her to say.

    “I don’t know Betty, maybe you’re over-reacting. It’s probably just a phase, or something he’s doing to get deeper into the case. I don’t think we’ve uncovered all the facts about Jasons murder, why else would all this shit still being going down?” Y/N said, trying to talk Betty out of breaking up with Jughead. It would crush him, and ultimately it would crush Y/N to see him so upset. Although, it would give her a chance to swoop in and help him, but did she really want to be that girl? The one who breaks up couples to get the guy she wants? No she couldn’t do it, she cared for the two of them too much.

    “I don’t think we have all the facts either, but it doesn’t matter. Jughead and I cannot be together if he’s a serpent, that’s final.” Betty said, and Y/N sighed.

    “I’ll do my best to talk to him then. I don’t want to see you guys hurt.” Y/N said, a tinge of pain ringing through her. She walked into the trailer park and spotted Jugheads place. “I’m going to let you go though, I’m here.” She said, and she heard Betty sniffle on the other side.

    “Okay, good luck.” Betty said, hanging up the phone.

    “Yeah,” Y/N mumbled to herself, walking up the steps and knocking on the door. She backed up slightly so she didn’t get hit with the door, but she was surprised when she heard a dog bark from inside. The door swung open and a dog ran out, jumping up on her and barking.

   “Hotdog, get off her!” a voice she didn’t recognize called, and she looked up to see a long-haired man staring down at her.

    “It’s okay, he’s not hurting me. He’s very cute, is he yours?” Y/N asked, trying to be as polite as she could to the stranger.

    “Actually, I think he’s Jugheads now.” The man said, and Y/N nodded, leaning down to pet the dog. “Speaking of Jughead, I’m assuming you’re here to see him?”

    “Yeah, I am, is he inside?” Y/N asked, and the man nodded. She looked at the man and noticed the jacket he was wearing. ‘serpent.’ She thought to herself. “I’m Y/N by the way, I like your jacket.” She commented, and the man smiled.

   “Oh yeah, you’re not scared?” he teasingly asked, and Y/N laughed.

    “Y/N wouldn’t be scared of serpents, she actually admires you guys. Always has, that’s why she got along with my dad so well.” Jugheads voice rang behind the man, and Y/N smiled.

   “Is that so?” the man asked, looking down at the (Y/H/C) girl. She stood taller and smirked, trying to look as confident as possible.

    “I’m not scared of anything.” Y/N said, sliding by the man and into the trailer and making her way to Jughead.

    “Well except for clowns and spiders.” Jughead said, and she nodded, causing laughter from a few men who were also in the trailer.

    “So if we got attacked by a spider dressed as a clown-“ one man started.

    “Or a clown dressed as a spider-“ another added.

    “You’d be terrified?” the long-haired man finished their sentence. Y/N and Jughead laughed.

   “I’d be dead, I would have an actual heart-attack.” She teased, and the men laughed again. “Don’t tell anyone I said that though, I don’t need people knowing my weaknesses.”

    “Your secret is safe with us.” The long-haired man said, and Y/N plopped herself down on a couch, nodding her head in approval.

    “Good.” She said, looking around the room.

    “What brings you here, tonight?” Jughead asked, sitting beside her. Hotdog walked over, laying in front of Jugheads feet, and he leaned over to pet him.

    “Betty is worried and our town is still as hellish as ever. The police really suck ass at their jobs, I’m just about to go in and take over.” Y/N sighed, and the men laughed again. “What, you don���t think I can fix Riverdale?” she asked, and the long-haired man held his hands up.

    “I didn’t say that.” He replied defensively, and she smiled.

    “Good, because I totally could. We just need people to rally up the citizens of Riverdale, something that could motivate them to do more for this town, make it better than it was before all of this Jason bullshit went down. I just need to cause enough trouble to get the police off their ass, or enough trouble to fix the problems of the town. I haven’t decided which yet, but I know I could do it.” Y/N said, smiling to all the men in the room. Jughead laughed, and she looked at him. “Of course, I would have to do it with my partner in crime, Mr. Jones here.” Jughead smiled and the men chuckled.

   “Do you two get into a lot of trouble together?” one of the men asked, and Jughead nodded.

    “Enough to cause Betty to worry about me.” He said, and the men all raised their eyebrows at the two teenagers.

    “I see.” The long-haired man said, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

    “Not that kind of trouble, oh my god. I swear you guys are 16-year-old-boys.” She teased, and the men in the room laughed again.

    “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” The long-haired man said, and Jughead teasingly elbowed her.

    “And I’m going to take offense, seeing that I am a 16-year-old-boy.” He said, and Y/N gave him an evil smile.

    “Good, take offense.” She said, and he rolled his eyes and slumped back into the couch. “Anyways, Betty was always mad because we found ourselves in compromising and dangerous situations when it came to the whole Jason Blossom murder case. We went all in, emerging ourselves in whatever danger Jason might have put himself in that way we could get to the bottom of the case.” The men all nodded.

    “Of course she was suspicious that we were sleeping together, or that I was cheating on her with all the time we spent together, it took awhile for her to accept the fact that we are just best friends.” Jughead said.

    “Which doesn’t make any sense to me because she knew we were before you guys even got together. We became friends immediately after I moved here last year.” Y/N added, and Jughead nodded. “She actually sent me over here to talk you out of being a serpent, but I could care less. I was just planning on telling her you wouldn’t listen to me and to just let you live your life, but then she started talking about breaking up with you because of it and then I didn’t know what I was going to do.” Y/N admitted, and the men in the room all fell very silent.

    “She was going to break up with me because of it?” Jughead asked, hints of anger present in his voice. Y/N nodded, and he huffed out in frustration. “Why can’t she be accepting like you? And I thought dating Betty was going to be less complicated than dating you, but obviously I made the wrong decision.” Jughead said, and Y/N froze in her seat.

    “Oh shit.” The long-haired man said, and the men all nodded in agreement. This was definitely an ‘oh shit’ moment.

     “What?” Y/N asked, looking at the raven-haired boy who hadn’t caught his slip up. Jughead looked around the room and noticed all the eager faces looking at him, and it was then he caught his mistake after thinking over what just came out of his mouth.

    “Yeah, dating Betty has been super complicated lately, she and I are complete opposites, not that you and I are any better, but at least we have a lot more in common than her and I.” he said, trying to explain it in a way that wouldn’t give away his feelings, but it only made it worse.

    “So what you’re saying is that you’d rather date Y/N here…?” the long-haired man said, and Jughead stuttered, wracking his brain for the right words to say. Maybe he should just come out and say what was really on his mind, but he was worried.

    “You know what, Y/N. Just let her break up with me, the fact that she can’t over look this one decision I made in my life and love me enough to accept me shows that maybe we just aren’t meant to be together.” Jughead said, standing up and walking towards the front door. He picked up his jacket off the side of a chair on the way and put it on, the snake on the back fully visible to everyone behind him.

    ‘damn, he looks good in that jacket, I have to admit it.’ She thought to herself, but then the door slammed and it broke her out of her thoughts. She looked around at the group of men around her, and they all stared at her.

    “Well, go after him then. Get that boy and never let him go.” The long-haired man said, and she chuckled.

    “Why do I get the feeling you guys are fans of chick-flicks?” she teased, and they all laughed as well.

    “What, just because we’re in a gang doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. This is young love, its cute.” One of the men said, and Y/N rolled her eyes and smiled. It was nice to see such strong and scary guys have actual loving feelings you wouldn’t expect them to have.

    “Well, you’re wasting time. Go on.” The long-haired one said, and Y/N nodded, making her way out of the trailer. She wandered around and found Jughead by the entrance sign, and she slowly approached him.

    “You alright?” she asked, and Jughead turned around, giving her a tight smile.

    “Not really, but whatever.” He said, and Y/N sighed. “I thought she would accept me, she told me tonight she loved me, and i-I told her the same thing. I’m starting to realize now that maybe neither of us meant it, we were just caught in the moment.” Jughead ran his hand through his hair, and it was then she noticed he was beanie free. She smiled apologetically at him and walked the rest of the way to him, embracing him. Jughead held onto her tight, and she enjoyed the moment, closing her eyes, trying to remember every detail of that second so she could cherish it forever. Little did she know, Jughead was doing the same thing. She pulled away from him, and looked up at the blue-eyed boy, and she shivered slightly at the loss of his body heat. It was cold out and she was in a dress, she was freezing.

    “You must be so cold.” Jughead said worriedly, taking off his jacket and handing it to the girl.

    “I’m fine-“ she tried to refuse, but he rolled his eyes.

    “Take it.” He said, and she took it from him, slipping the leather jacket on herself. It was big on her because Jughead was much taller than she was, and he laughed at the sight of her in it.

    “What?” she said, trying to hide her blush.

    “You would just look cute as a serpent.” He said, and she couldn’t hide her blush now.

    “Whatever.” She said, pulling the jacket tighter around herself. The cold was bitter, the winter was settling in hard.

    “I’m sorry for calling you cute, damn.” Jughead said, pretending to be offended, and she rolled her eyes and laughed.

    “Don’t be so sensitive, I-“ she cut herself off, she didn’t know if she should do what she was about to, although she really wanted to.

    “You what?” he said quietly, and she thought to herself that he probably already knew what she was thinking. She stayed silent though, thinking about what she was going to do. “I like you, you know. I have for a long time.” Jughead said, and Y/N stared up at him.

    “But Betty-“

    “Betty is nice, I like her, but not as much as I like you. I just figured that if I went for you, our friendship would be ruined and it would just complicate everything. I see now that I was wrong. I think we are meant to be together, and I really mean that.” Y/N smiled softly, and so did Jughead. They stood there for awhile, just looking at eachother and not really saying anything, and Y/N figured that must have been kind of weird.

    “We should probably go inside.” She said awkwardly, breaking their silence. Jughead looked towards the trailer and nodded.

    “Probably.” He said. “But first-“ Jughead grabbed onto Y/Ns wrist and crashed his lips with hers, and she smiled and melted into it.

    “Okay, that was unexpected.” Y/N said, and Jughead laughed. “It wasn’t bad!” she quickly exclaimed, trying to fix her mistake in words. “I just- I- I liked it. I like you.” She said, and jughead nodded, taking her hand and they walked to the trailer in silence. He opened the door and the two of them entered, and all the men looked at Y/N and cheered. She looked down and realized she still had his jacket on and she blushed, looking down and burying her head into his chest. Betty and Jughead were both going to be hurt, but she could help them both, and she knew in the end she could help them heal.

Tag List:

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[imjustherethatsit]

I am SO stressed out. I haven’t even written any posts like this in a long time. Which I guess is a good thing but I just really REALLY need to get all of this out of my mind right now. I can’t sleep my eating is up and down this is just stressing me all the way out and if sucks because like I know I shouldn’t even be feeling this type of way especially about a boy who has no emotional ties to me I mean he said he liked me ONCE and then after that it just wen back to interested but I’ve told him multiple times I liked him which I shouldn’t. I didn’t even realize he hadn’t even complimented me until way later. I moved way too fast when we both agreed to rake it slow. And yes I’m taking full responsibility for what’s going on here becUs if I don’t I’m just going to keep doing this again. And to think just 3 weeks ago I was totally fine. Now someone new has my heart and broke it all at once. I can’t believe I allowed this to happen. WHILE IM IN A RELATIONSHIP AT THAT. I mean I am so annoying to myself but at the same time I know I shouldn’t be putting myself down it’s just so weird to me how he opened up so much so fast he MADE ME feel so comfortable like I could tell him anything but then his true colors showed and you know what they say about that. When someone shows you their true colors you believe them. My heart is pumping so fast right now. I mean my relationship isn’t bad at all. It’s just... okay. But what you brought excited me. I thought I found what I had been searching for my entire life. I thought that you were going to be it and I mean who knows what’s going to happen. Tonight you really and I mean REALLY pissed me off. And I have a tendency to make excuses but for some reason I feel like it was more about you than me. But idk. I feel so lost and confused. This whole thing is so confusing to me. I don’t know how to act or treat you because yes you’re a friend but we also flirt. Just 5 hours ago you were talking about writing a song for me and serenading me and now you can barely hold a conversation with me about the future. I mean it’s so overwhelming and I’ve got so much going on in my life right now like I don’t need this. I was going to say I wish you had remained silent and not told me anything in the beginning. I was going to say that I wish you never reached out to me and showed me yourself and your beautiful side. Because now that’s what I acquaint your with.. beautiful things. But that wouldn’t be 100% correct. Because all of the things you’ve said to me and done for me made me smile. All of those things made me feel like a giddy grade school kid. I mean I’m not going crazy. I can’t be. I’ve re-read our messages so many times. I remember all of the times you made my cheeks warm and just want to tell everyone that I found the one. Even though nothing was for sure. I knew you were going to hurt me. I told you that you would hurt me. I guess it was too good to be true. But I don’t want to end on this note. BecUse well I’ve been here before. You make me feel good, I write about it. Then an hour later you make me feel like throwing the whole thing away and a write about it. It’s this whole back and forth thing that’s killing me. I just want to know the outcome. I need to know the truth. It’s so hard to judge people too by their texting. Like I have no clue how you really feel. I’m extremely stressed out. I can’t handle this. I’m also so tired and work is really getting to me. Plus finances. I feel less than superior in my field. I know it’s going to take some time but I feel like I’ve got advice being thrown at me from all different angles and it’s super overwhelming. I feel like I need a break. And not this stay at home bullshit. I need to get away and be on my own for a little bit. Not stuck in this house with my boyfriend and all 500 of his relatives. Not back at my moms house with the crazies. I need to get away and be alone with my thoughts. And tumblr I guess lol because this actually feels pretty good. To just write and get all of this out. My mind is so tired. I feel like I’ve been trying to hold

[hebblog]

#WalingReview S7E12+13 *Disclaimer I wrote these forever ago and forgot to upload them. There’s a lot, ‘cause I’m pretty sure I’ll be wrapping this up after this season. I’ve just overall lost interest, which sucks. I’d rather spend more time paying attention to what used to  be my favourite show, then dissecting every moment. 

So I heard the finale has aired, and they’ve already started introducing “main” characters for next season. So…kay? Spoilers? This is the first season where it hasn’t all been totally spoiled for me. Is that because everyone’s being nice…or because no one’s watching? Previously

we can beat them

tell us where not to look

wait for the right moment

we need guns

they have a deal

Currently

ooo silent impactful raids for, probably those guns.

ooo silent impactful sex because, raiding together is hard work

So let me get this straight. They have to raid for supplies to appease the Saviours, and raid for weapons to please the garbage folk. That sounds like so much dang work dude!

Awe they’re happy ‘cause their finally away from home and all the burdens they left behind.

WAIT! Did they just jack EVERYTHING from those golfers?? Holy shit dude…did they kill them?? Geez man, was that very quick scene, and now this “just a little more” talk emphasis to show that the Group is becoming Saviours themselves?

Credits

what was that!!! Why open with that???

I know we’re always balancing on that knife, but wow guys

Currently

Rosita (that’s her name right?) has really become a pain. Characters do that so quickly when they start down the “I must kick ass” route. I get it, you’re pissed off, but take a chill pill. No one wants to be the next Shane right?

Rick’s pretty quiet in those leaves for a scruffy dude trouncing about

I love the survival-pack-get ups these guys put together when they go raiding. Where’s the episode where they break down the things you need to survive? Where are the episodes detailing the steps taken to be a survivor? Not this emotional baggage bullshit, I want hard facts on how to pack and prepare!

OH MY GOD THAT’S ONE UGLY …eeeeeeeewwwwwwww….puss ’n blood dude…

Remember the shopping mall roof caving in back in Season…one?

There is NO WAY they’ll just stumble upon a huge cache of weapons like this without any kind of trap being in place. Obviously. Someone set this all up OR something bad happened during a fight that backfired and caused everyone here to turn. OR the Saviours already know about this and…yeah…bad things.

PS: MICHONE WHY ARE YOU FIRING AT NOTHING JUST FOR THE GIGGS?!?!? YOU’RE LITERALLY WASTING THE AMMO THAT YOU’RE PUTTING YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE TO GATHER NOT TO MENTION EVERYTHING THAT WANTS TO KILL YOU WILL HEAR IT!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

*Pizza’s here!*

HA! Did I just call that or what!

holy shit that stash!

Like, they hit the mother load here, and they’re having far too much fun, some shit is about to go dooooown

Yeah girly YOU walked into the church, no one makes you go back to Gabe over and over

“You don’t know shit about shit”

“Anything is possible, until your heart stops beating”

That’s actually a really great quote

All these damn candles make it look like the set of an afternoon soap opera

RICK should be the one to mould the wold in his image? NAH SON! Gimme King Darryl, everyone’s quiet and keeping to themselves…

There it is “we can go another day” …..*rrrrr*…put the breaks on dude.

Alright, chill and mac’n cheese together IS worth putting all your friends lives at risk for another day

Can you imagine if Rick was just like “fuck it, let’s just keep going” and decided everyone else wasn’t worth it anymore

One of the best dialogues of the season, and it’s with a baby…

Couples that slay together

dude is it just me, or is the gore going up and up this season

ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ZOMBIE IS FIRING BULLETS BY WALKING HIS TRIGGER INTO A POLE??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What is haaaaappening with these two? This seems like a joke episode hahaha

and in this episode, zombies have a hard time with a board.

Are they having sarcastic banter while a group of zombies bares down on them? They are getting WAY too cocky

CUT-TING MON-TAG-ES

The dear! You owe her a dear dude. But also, no dear would ever, EVER come near any of this!

The most CG dear that ever lived

see, that right there, it would run away long long LONG before any of these things could get that close. The writers don’t know how animals work

They’re eating the dear…

We all know this show would totally do that to us.

SHEEEE HAAAAS THE POOOOWERRRRRR

That’s a lotta guns

No one cares what you like dude, your girl is shook about you being dead, just go home

Michone’s gonna die this season, that’s the next thing I’m calling. They are far too close, she is far too crucial to his character.

This garbage queen is tough, but I see where she’s coming from

Wait, what cat?

hahaha I think she likes Rick

What’s going on with the Saviours while Rick is questing for the Garbage Folk? Like, days and days have gone by right? No pick ups?

A sniper rifle IS way smarter than any other tactic.

So old Abe’s exes are going to go take on a legion of blood thirsty rape hungry mongrels in an attempt to bring down their leader - the most destructive force in the show thus far?

I’M IN!

#WalkingReview S7E13

i bet this will be the epi where the Kingdom finally grows up and agrees to fight

one melon?

I don’t think Carol having nightmares should be a big deal. With the world the way it is people should be crying themselves to sleep regularly

Pretty sunrise

did she just deliver a non-killing blow to a zombie? What is the poooiiiint carol

and now she sets it up so the walk into the pole, but she doesn’t actually kill them

and walks into town like she friggin owns the road she just clears haha

ok i kinda like Morgan a liiiiittle bit more now

This dude and his secret stashes…

WHO IS NAVEELA AND WHY CAN’T WE HAVE MORE OF HER!

ooooh i get the one melon now

Gerry is the best one in this town

OH! This roadblock was setup by guy with stashes!

Stash dude chucked a melon when they were clearing the road, he’s setting this allllll up so that the Kingdom finally has a reason to fight back.

but no one thought they would shoot a KID!

So what this dude is saying is that this kids life is worth ONE MELON???

And he’s just realizing that his move might cost a kid his life

OOOOOOKAY FIRST OFF…Morgan has such a crazy rage inside him. I had forgotten about “clear” I had forgotten about his multiple transformations. Morgan really IS the most interesting character on the show but they’ve muted him for SO DANG LONG! Second; really? you hid the melon under a bright yellow bin on the side of the road? Really?

Why is noooooo one stopping Morgan??? Like, what? No one???

fucking hell Morgan, everything that guy just spent half a season setting up, you wrecked.

oooooh, I get it, Morgan’s finally flipped. He’s picking up the baton and running forward with “the plan”

He’s back to being a zombie samurai!!!!!! Bout damn time!

“Do you want to know what happened in Alexandria”

oh my god Carol…

wow this really ended up being a bummer of an episode

“We have to fight” “We do, but not today…”

So Morgan’s sharpening his staff, which means he’s finally ready for killing blows. All it took was a lot of people to do, then finally for a leader to break and kid to die…and for Morgan to break…and for Carol to break…holy shit dude this has been a lot of build up. I swear, the way this show is going nothing will happen until the final episode AND THEN something stupid will happen like Rick getting shot or some shit.