#a few non-far cry ones include

[simplegenius042]

To all my mutuals...

I'm developing a off-Tumblr list of fellow mutuals who want to be tagged for my stuff and those who wish not to be. (Me on the other hand? Please DO tag me in your stuff, I love being tagged and reading all your works even when I don't say much, which is something I'm trying to get out of the habit of).

Just so I know who actually wants to be tagged for my stuff, would you so kindly like this post? Or comment (even reblog if you want) if you want to state your answer more clearer? (A yes or a no is all I need).

My "stuff" in question includes the following:

WIPs, Publishing of my fics, Music Mondays/Playlists relating to characters/stories, Tag Games, Quizzes, maybe art and other related things (once I expand my comfort zone to become more familiar with that stuff).

While I mostly group together some of my WIPs together (which often include fandoms you may or may not be in) on the blog I'm posting from now (and then reblog them to one of my main story blogs depending on if they include the specific fandom I write for them in), there are times I will be posting from my other three main story blogs which include my @the-untitledverse-blog (fandoms greatly vary and often mix in with original writing), @the-silver-chronicles (mainly Far Cry 5 with some other fandoms mixed in and few original writing), and @life-despair-and-monsters-blog (a couple fandoms mixed in with original story, a smaller scale The UnTitledverse) as well as of course this blog which includes fandoms in all three blogs, but is mostly meant for original story and that one Fallout series I'm cooking up. In fact, my pinned post on this very blog will give you a run down on the fandoms each of these blogs focus on so if you want you can make a more clear decision there.

Anyway, remember to like if yes, or if you want to be more thorough and clear on your answer, comment or reblog either just a yes or a no.

Chow!

[danieyells]

Tokyo Debunker Stigmas, Artifacts, And Other Possibly Combat Relevant Information

Since we've met all of our current ghouls, I decided to share my non-comprehensive list of the stigmas and powers and weapons of the ghouls we've seen so far!! This isn't all of them because they haven't all been revealed or explained. But it should be everything we've seen so far! Let me know if/where I've missed things! I've also mentioned some other details for some of them, namely the less human ghouls.

Jin Kamurai

Stigma

Incantation - Bianerus

Effect - forces the target to obey his command.

Currently cannot be activated without the PC's enhancement. At present, only Tohma, the PC, and few if any others know this.

Incantation can be recited mentally

Continuous commands("kneel") only seem to last a few minutes at most

Artifact

Sword - teleportation

Can be used to cut a portal into the air for teleporting someone with him, but doesn't appear to need this for just teleporting Jin

Tohma Ishibashi

Stigma

Incantation - Argeas

Effect - "lets him send vibrations long distances"

Vibrations include the vibrations from his voice, allowing his voice to carry longer distances, making him heard further away

When enhanced he can break through anomalous soundproofing and better specify the direction his vibrations carry(as neither Kaito nor Luca heard his voice from outside the room)

Artifact

Halberd - ?

Other

Tohma naturally has "brute strength" which, combined with his stigma, allows him to essentially make earthquakes.

Tohma has the trust of Darkwick, allowing him to easily get access to powerful common artifacts such as the skeleton key

Lucas Errant

Stigma

Incantation - Iggnaim

Effect - creates a barrier.

When enhanced the barrier becomes visible. It's significantly larger and supported by a large anomaly that's invisible to everyone but the PC and perhaps Kaito, even unable to be seen on cameras or by Luca himself.

Artifact

Twin blades - ?

Appear identical aside from a difference in color.

Smashed through reenforced glass to choose him as their new master.

Apparently sound to Luca like a crying child. He believes the child must be begging for his help.

Other

Carries around a knife.

Kaito Fuji

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - "can see auras sometimes?"

So far hasn't been seen/used, and Hyde didn't sound certain about what it does.

Kaito has notably enhanced vision, able to see things that are further away and surprisingly skilled at reading lips.

Kaito screams when Luca's stigma is enhanced, looking straight up at the anomaly it spawned despite no one else but the PC appearing to see it. While it's possible he only saw its aura, it's likely he saw the anomaly itself.

Artifact

Rogue bow - ?

Produces magic arrows that veer nonsensically off path when shot, except, seemingly, if there's a malicious or threatening target(?) at which point it will veer to save an endangered target(such as the ghost boy being taken by the arms) and/or go directly for the source of a threat or malice(such as the faceless anomaly about to attack the PC and Riku or the glowing grave of Natalie Hunt.) When the magic arrow hit the glowing grave it "blew the whole thing apart."

Other

Pretty acrobatic despite not training, flipping and cartwheeling across the graveyard to dodge the ghostly arms trying to grab him.

Alan Mido (Alan Todoroki)

Stigma

Incantation - Yagsal Olbalsa

Effect - ? "Seems to be an extremely dangerous ability" -B's Log

Seems to enhance his strength, as he punched Takeru's tulpa in half

Seems to make him uncontrollably violent, seeking to kill his enemies(looking for Takeru's tulpa's head and crushing his throat) and possibly reduces his awareness of his surroundings(light removed from the eyes of his sprite and panel art, grabbing and pulling the PC without realizing he was hurting her, continually attacking Takeru despite being aware he couldn't take him out with punching, only regaining his senses when Sho grabbed and spoke to him)?

Artifact

Lead pipe - ?

Leo Kurosagi

Stigma

Incantation - Haxs

Effect - super hearing.

Increases distance and precision of his hearing. Does not allow him to hear through anomalous soundproofing.

When enhanced increases distance further and allows him to hear through anomalous soundproofing.

Had the PC enhance it in order to find the escaping possessed guard during the prison riot. Uncertain if this allows him to hear ghosts or if he simply needed the increased precision due to the surrounding noise.

Makes Leo sensitive to sounds and noise even when it isn't active, resulting in noticing noises other people can't hear and frequent complaints when in noisy environments or around loud or high-pitched people.

Artifact

Bubble gum - can be manipulated into any shape when blown.

The longer it's chewed, the longer he can manipulate it

"So if I chewed this one a bunch and stuck it over your nose and mouth...

"...you'd suffocate. Bye bye Honor Roll."

suggests that it can't be removed until the time he's manipulated it runs out?

Cannot capture incorporeal targets.

Shohei Haizono

Stigma

Incantation - Spurno

Effect - "just jams stuff"?????

Primarily seems to push things or result in change of direction, possibly able to cause sensory scrambling resulting in uncoordinated movement or temporary stunning(as with Takeru's tulpa?)

Leo says it can be used on incorporeal targets, but Sho says it can't take something down unless it's "super weak"

Used in Episode 2 to prevent Takeru's tulpa from walking straight

When enhanced in Episode 2, pushed Takeru's tulpa back with greater force, but didn't push him away, or cause him to release the PC(stunned him?)

Used in Episode 12 to remove the ghost of the prison guard possessing Alan and push the ghost into a cell to lock it there until it moved on

Artifact

Motorcycle - ?

Her name is Bonnie. She eats food placed in her fuel tank instead of gasoline, including chewing it and even burping. She's picky about what she eats. Her favorite food is barbecue sandwiches, but she also eats jerky.

If she isn't fed three times a day "she gets sulky and refuses to start." Her engine won't start at all if she's hungry.

She's described as a "large motorbike" by the PC's narration, and Subaru apologizes for the amount of space he's taking up on the wharf in Hotarubi to feed her, corroborating this.

She seems to have some control of her own movement as Sho rewards her for staying upright when stopped and made to buck by Luca's barrier.

Sho drives her just about everywhere and drives her around at Leo's request as well. She has a travel permit that needs to be shown when leaving and reentering campus, however she's able to break through the checkpoint with enough speed.

She's kept on her artifact chain when not ridden.

She's able to comfortably be ridden by two people but three is very tight.

Haru Sagara

Stigma

Incantation - Bahnti

Effect - reduces gravity's effects on his own body.

Reduced effect of gravity allows him to move extremely fast.

Makes his body much more fragile when used. Possibly includes weakening his immune system?

Artifact

Deck brush - ?

He rides around on it while distracting Otohime, skidding across the floor on the brush until he tips over.

Towa Otonashi

Stigma

Incantation - ? (has an audio file, but the spelling hasn't been shown.)

Effect - Controls weather?

Towa exhibits control over weather as his primary ability, however because it's not shown to be in response to his incantation it's somewhat dubious as to whether or not it's actually his stigma.

Others' understanding of Towa's stigma is only that he controls lightning and that other weather patterns are random, not in response to Towa's feelings.

The weather reacts to Towa's emotions, causing the sky to darken in preparation of rain, lightning, or snowstorms when he's angry.

Towa is also able to predict weather that he doesn't control.

Towa can create lightning(which he uses to electrocute enemies), rain, wind(used to create a pillar of water for the PC to land on when falling off the boat and to direct the rain sideways to wash bubble soap off of Kaito), snow, and possibly earthquakes(the ground is noted to start shaking in response to his anger.)

His lightning may be able to be used under water without being conducted into non-targets, however it's also possible he used harsh winds instead of lightning when destroying Otohime and her minions.

Artifact

Bubble wand - blown bubbles cause explosions.

The explosions are powerful enough to destroy glass that withheld a full grown Kraken.

Towa warns not to touch the bubbles, as they will kill you.

Not all bubbles seem to cause explosions as he blows bubbles from atop the Capybus without there being any harm done.

Other

Towa's nature is implied to actually be quite malicious and uncaring, especially towards things that are weak and especially towards humans, however he claims he changed because of "love." Several home screen lines, his full awakening line, and his response to being touched by the turtle anomaly in the Dragon Palace support that he hasn't fully changed his mindset, only represses it.

Towa cannot speak during the daytime and is only able to talk when it's night. This includes being in Obscuary, where it's permanently night, however the cover of clouds doesn't allow him to speak during the day meaning it's not related specifically to the visibility of the sun.

Can speak to and understand anomalies, even those that lack speech capabilities(such as the tree on the hill.) Haru is aware of this ability.

Able to see and hear ghosts(Zenji) and possibly other things that only people who are "special" can see(the tree on the hill, which even Ed cannot see.)

When Towa was away from Jabberwock for a day the nature conditions deteriorated significantly, with water drying up and the sky dark despite it being sunny the previous day and the anomalies beginning to behave violently. According to Ed, if Towa is away from Jabberwock for too long the anomalies within will begin to die. Ed suggests that Haru is unaware of this fact.

Can jump so high he can essentially fly, although this may be related to control of wind(though there's no notation that the wind blows when he jumps.)

Anomalies fear him and obey him, particularly when he's angry, even to the point of kneeling out of fear when he's furious.

Says the PC smells nicer than before, perhaps able to smell their curse's advancement due to the flowers that would grow on her as a Kyklos.

Ren Shiranami

Stigma

Incantation - Raothtas

Effect - Cleans things?

B's Log: "According to him it seems to be a power with little use."

Has only been used to remove Calamari's ink from the floor when wiping it up failed.

Artifact

Swim ring - restrains target.

Cannot be removed by the wearer.

Has a rope attached that allows the wearer to be reeled in.

Taiga Hoshibami

Stigma

Incantation - Malab

Effect - ?

Artifact

Tommy gun - takes anything broken into small enough pieces and fired from it as ammo.

Damage type seems to vary based on what was placed into it. Shards of glass created a swirl of glass shards, whereas bronze from a statue shot heavier rounds.

Doesn't seem to require ammo to fire.

Doesn't seem to work on everything as Taiga says his bullets don't work on anything lately. Possibly limited to hostile entities? (He was able to shoot the Oblivion Dealer, but not able to shoot the Kyklos--which ran away--or the Barong--which was non-threatening.)

Other

Carries a knife and a pistol.

Appears to occasionally be aware of things that he has no way of knowing about, sometimes even seeming to know the future.

Eats anomalies, though not exclusively, and gets hungry whenever he goes on a mission. His hunger for them results in varied behavior from minor irritation to nearly losing control of himself to the hunger. He can eat any physical anomaly thus far, being shown or referenced to eat anomalous animals, plants, objects, and "enzymes", and he finds anomalous plants and enzymes converted into beverages suitable for human consumption to taste unpleasant. He eats normal food and drinks normal alcohol without a problem. It's difficult to tell how he feels about and after eating anomalies, as it varies, although he enthusiastically expresses his desire to eat the Kyklos. It's hard to tell how new this behavior is as Romeo seems disgusted but not surprised by it and Taiga attempts to warns Romeo when he wants to eat the Barong mask(not in speech bubbles but able to be discerned in his audio.)

His hunger may be able to be triggered or increased by smelling or seeing anomalous blood(such as the PC's.)

His memory is very poor, although he can remember things and people with prompting.

Romeo Scorpus Lucci

Stigma

Incantation - Tiris

Effect - "turns things into bombs".

Able to turn anything into a bomb, including non-explosive objects. Seems to require that he throws them?

The size of the blast depends on how attached to the target object its owner is. If Romeo truly values something he's blowing up, the explosion is quite destructive.

Hyde has him testing various types of prototype anomalous explosive materials for Darkwick on missions.

"To me, these prototypes are a path to catching anomalies in one piece." which implies most of Hyde's prototypes cause non-lethal explosions. One of his home screen lines mentions, for example, a tear bomb.

Artifact

Sniper rifle - ?

Maintains his bullets himself.

Doesn't always carry the same types of rounds. For example, he only had smoke bombs in the prologue.

Ritsu Shinjo

When used against the Arachne in Episode 9 it blasted a large hole into its head? However when he fired it to gain the attention of the audience and when he shot at the door in Episode 8 the impact didn't seem as great, suggesting the impact/size of his bullets varies as needed.

Other

Has the trust of Darkwick(or at least has Hyde's favor?) allowing him to carry around common artifacts as though he owns them(hammerspace briefcase which he added a custom case for; fox robe)

Stigma

Incantation - Acimo

Effect - hardens his body. Increases his weight.

Prevents damage from concussive attacks such as kicks and bullets. If you kick him while it's active it'll hurt.

Doesn't seem to experience pain in this state.

Can survive explosions and escape from collapsed buildings unharmed.

Artifact

Compendium of Laws - ?

Has the contents memorized?

Taiga taught him to use it as a blunt weapon, although he forgot he did this.

Appears to glow somewhat when held, although what this suggests is unknown.

Subaru Kagami

Stigma

Incantation - Talnandio

Effects - psychometry.

Experiences memory fragments through almost anything he touches.

Passive, activates on contact with people, animals, anomalies, and objects without incantation.

Using it exhausts him to the point of needing a significant amount of rest, possibly even passing out shortly after usage.

Wears gloves and avoids crowded places to try and avoid accidentally setting it off. Feels bad about being able to learn people's secrets.

Artifact

Parasol - ?

Sturdy enough to destroy a possessed doll.

Haku Kusanagi

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Implied he prefers not using it?

Artifact

Flute - ?

Used flute to remove himself and the PC from Kisaragi Station, knocking them out with some sort of ethereal water and causing them to wake up back on the empty train car.

Other

Able to see and communicate with spirits.

Able to perform various rituals such as laying spirits to rest and making talismans that allow people close to a spirit to see and hear them.

"Cordoned off the area" of the train and station the PC was on, which should have prevented interference from civilians. May be part of his Artifact or Stigma, or part of his capabilities as a Shinto priest.

Performs the stigma test for Darkwick.

Zenji Kotodama (Taro Kirisaki)

According to Taiga he's able to remove curses if the anomaly that caused the curse is in front of him. It's uncertain if this is his stigma, part of his artifact, or another power.

Haku has the trust of Darkwick, allowing him to easily get access to powerful common artifacts such as the skeleton key

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Artifact

Doll - ?

Heavily resembles his brother as a child, according to Zenji. When Zenji and the doll protected Jiro, Zenji said "You've always been there for him when he needed it most." suggesting that there may have been a third Kirisaki brother.

Won't let anyone but Zenji and Jiro touch it. Protects Zenji and Jiro.

Appearance slightly changes to that of an oni when angered.

Has a mind of its own, or is perhaps possessed. Wanders around campus without Zenji, much to his concern.

Other

Able to damage and destroy ghosts?

Joined Zenji in protecting Jiro from being eaten by the Arachne and seemed to be fine after the Arachne was destroyed while it and Zenji were inside it. Attacked the Arachne from within (with Zenji?) to distract it with pain so Jiro could attack it.

Darkwick is unaware Jiro is present as only Haku and Towa(and eventually Subaru and the PC) are aware Zenji's spirit lingers. If Darkwick were to become aware of Zenji's presence they would want him laid to rest.

As a ghost, Zenji cannot be touched, meaning he can't be damaged or killed. However he covers his ears when Haku performs a ritual to lay spirits to rest and covers his face in Subaru's warding card with incense, suggesting that he would be laid to rest under the right circumstances.

Zenji is not bound to Darkwick despite being a ghost who died on campus, and can come and go as he pleases.

Due to Obon, people in Japan are more sensitive to spirits and anomalies are more frequent, causing Zenji to sometimes be visible or audible during the summer.

Zenji brings his doll with him most everywhere, however people can only see the doll and not him. The same happens with his biwa. If he carries them, they appear to float.

Zenji can touch physical objects(his doll, his biwa, and his phone) and his footsteps are audible if he doesn't silence them. He can ride the Galaxy Express as well. Because one has to show their phone to the conductor cat to take the Galaxy Express, it's probable that the cats can see or hear him and simply don't report him.

Afraid of ghosts, possibly the dark, and maybe dead bodies.

Edward Hart

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Artifact

Cane - ?

Other

Edward is, or was historically, the world's strongest vampire, implying a great deal of hidden power. As he is 400+ years old, he knows a great deal about anomalies that Darkwick doesn't listen to for some reason. However being old has also made his body and mind much weaker. . .allegedly.

Ed has immense power, which we've only heard of him using on the singular mission he participated in. Using it he obliterated an anomaly and a building in such a way that Darkwick struggled to cover up(unlike Tohma's destruction which was able to be explained as poor maintenance and age) suggesting he more or less vaporized it. It's unknown if this is a vampire power or his stigma.

Ed is able to produce a purple mist that seems to be able to enthrall humans(as Rui and Lyca didn't need to hold their breaths when he used it.) The PC mentions feeling "good", comfort, and euphoria, her mind slowing down, light on her feet, and she began to think thoughts that aligned with what Ed wanted of her made and her body feel weaker. When she managed to fight against it and speak for herself Ed stopped producing the mist and she was able to recover quickly. When Ed used it on the humans in the mansion they experienced similar symptoms(feeling good and beginning to think they didn't need to call the police for help) but fell into sleep quickly unlike the PC. It is unclesr whether or not this is his stigma or simply a vampire power.

Ed mentions on the home screen that there's a miasma in the garden of Obscuary that humans are susceptible to. He also mentions a miasma in the breeze during summer. It's uncertain if he's referencing the mist he produces, although it's unlikely in the second case as he mentions no desire to go outside.

If Rui touches him, the touched part will break off(at which point it can be reattached simply by pushing it back into place,) ache intensely for a time, or he will die temporarily.

As a vampire, Ed is immune to curses and is immortal. He claims that sunlight will eventually reduce him to ash and in the pre-prologue before jumping off of the balcony he implies that whatever is waiting for him at the bottom will be the death of him as well. One can become a vampire by drinking the blood of a vampire, and this will overwrite curses such as the Kyklos' curse. It's uncertain if this would overwrite Rui's reaper curse.

As a vampire, Ed is rapidly exhausted by sunlight. Sunlight won't kill him instantly, but it will cause him to collapse. He claims sunlight will turn him to ash eventually, and he cannot be outside in the sun without a parasol. If it's cloudy enough or he's in enough shade, Ed is able to be outside during the day. He's usually tired during the daytime, but still seems to sleep during the night.

Ed is physically and mentally weaker during summer months, but stronger during autumn and winter.

Ed primarily drinks tears, although he mentions that he does drink blood in his character story and on the home screen. He finds that human food doesn't taste like much of anything.

Ed is able to transform into a bat and fly around in that form. He doesn't seem to be able to speak in this form, only screeching and squeaking. Based on the campus chibis he may have bats as 'familiars' too.

Ed mentions that Lyca's soul is misshapen, however it's unclear if he can actually see his soul or if he was merely teasing him.

Ed cannot see the tree on the hill that Towa speaks to, but seems to be aware that something is there.

Rui Mizuki

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - temporary relief of pain and discomfort

Incantation has only been said in his head.

It's unclear if blowing a kiss is required to activate it or if that's just for flair, but it did produce a gold smoke that applied to the hurt area.

Artifact

Scythe - allows Rui to conceal himself in darkness.

Rui admits to using his artifact to keep an eye on others on campus.

Other

Suffers from a 'Reaper Curse' which effectively makes him a reaper.

Cannot make skin contact with most living things without them instantly dying. This includes humans, animals, plants, and even mold! Sufficiently strong living things(such as Ed, a vampire) will not die instantly when touched, but most things are too weak to survive. On contact, the touched thing's life force is absorbed into Rui's body through his mouth as a sort of green smoke that emerges from them.

Absorbed life energy goes straight to his body, extending his life filling him with so much energy that it prevents him from sleeping. He keeps himself as busy as possible as a result of having so much energy to spare.

In the case of Ed the reaction we've seen in-game when he was touched was the touched limb popping off(resulting in a spray of blood.) On the home screen he mentions Ed simply dying temporarily on contact and Ed mentions places they accidentally touched aching nonstop. It's uncertain what other creatures are strong enough not to die right away and how they would be affected by contact.

Wears gloves, a turtleneck, and avoids crowded places to avoid committing manslaughter and killing anything he touches.

Lyca Colt

Stigma

Incantation - Ramsochisa

Effect - allows him to follow any scent he's smelled before.

Artifact

Claws - ?

Other

Half werewolf. Able to show or hide his wolf tail and ears at will, but they pop up when he's sufficiently aggravated.

Transforms with exposure to the full moon. "The speed of his transformation is affected by how much he's exposed to moonlight and his mental state." Sometimes feels his skin crawling when the full moon is near?

Covering his head when he's outside under the full moon prevents or regresses his transformation. Collapses after his transformation regresses from half wolf and doesn't transform while unconscious. Nothing happens to him if he's not exposed to the full moon on a full moon night. Obscuary is always a crescent moon, allowing him to be there safely during a full moon.

Werewolves have four stages: Human, partial wolf, half wolf, and full wolf. At 'half wolf' Lyca is an anthropomorphic wolf. However, he loses control of himself after he's been transformed for a while, and may attack indiscriminately.

He doesn't remember much when he transforms. He might remember less if he fully transforms?

Yuri Isami

Stigma

Incantation - Agnihaet

Effect - "hyperstimulates his braincells"

"allows him to logically process information and solve complex equations almost instantaneously."

when enhanced seemed to make the information processing instantaneous and extremely accurate?

Artifact

Syringe - Causes injuries received by the individual injected with its contents to damage the entity that inflicted them.

Jiro Kirisaki

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Artifact

Chainsaw - ?

Blunt, making it a bad match for webs(which simply got stuck in it) and things that need sharpness for effective cutting, but able to 'cut' through more solid things that don't require sharpness or precision, presumably by just crushing them with the rapidly spinning dull blades.

Other

Jiro is noted to be especially strong.

Jiro was in a coma until an undisclosed time ago, when Yuri was able to awaken him from it. When he was comatose and for how long and why hasn't been relayed yet, however he was said to be particularly violent during The Clash, meaning he was likely awakened before or during it, or fell into a coma during/shortly after it.

As a side effect of his condition and mysterious illness, Jiro has a poor memory, immunodeficiency, and his wounds reopen very easily. He needs four treatments a day, and they take around an hour to complete. Yuri is the only one who can administer them, and Jiro isn't able to do so himself. Even with his treatments he's forgetful and prone to being sick and has a bit of a fragile constitution. Abrupt changes in temperature, for example, make him choke.

Jiro doesn't react much to his wounds and being in pain, but he will eventually collapse from overexertion or illness if he misses a treatment or has taken too much damage.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT helping a partner with trauma

Requested? Yes!

Genre: comfort

TW/CW: Implications of trauma

A/N: This will be less of a discussion about traumatic events themselves (if mentioned it’s brief only to give context), but rather the feelings and responses one might have afterwards. Trauma is varied and so is everyone's reactions to it, so I tried to include a variety of scenarios so there’s a little bit of something for everyone. 

A/N #2/Warning: Please use caution when reading if you might find the topic triggering. This is meant to be comforting, but if you find that it isn’t, come back later or skip altogether. 

Seungcheol

Money is an interesting topic between the two of you. At first, he thinks that you just like to keep a tight control over your finances, and he respects it immensely, applauding you for being money-smart. But he notices that you deny yourself a lot of things in an effort to penny pinch, and flat out refuse when he offers to ease your burden on little things like needing to replace something around your apartment or pay a bill that has an upcoming due date. In a vulnerable moment, you tell him the abbreviated version of the story - you depended on someone financially and then they left you with nothing, and you refuse to be stuck in that situation again. From then on he encourages your financial independence and for the most part respects your wishes for him to not spend a lot on you, even if it pains him sometimes. But you best believe the moment you accept it he’s already sliding you his card or heading to the store himself. Wants you to know that you can rely on him, but knows he has to earn that. 

Jeonghan 

You’re a flirt. It’s one of the things that he loves most about you. He's kissed you a few times since starting to date, but he notices how you pull back sooner rather than later, putting space between the two of you. You feel safer with words than you do with touch. He’s okay with that. If you ever try to explain yourself - doesn’t matter if it's a simple ‘I want to wait’, or a more detailed reason - he’ll shake his head. “You come to me if and when you're ready,” he’ll say simply without an ounce of teasing. I do believe that if and when you do approach him, he’ll want to have a not-so-sexy but still very needed conversation to make sure you’re both on the same page and he understands your boundaries. 

Joshua

On the very first date, you tell him you don't drink and don’t really like to be around alcohol. Noted, he thinks, and doesn't order another drink beyond the one he already has in front of him. He also doesn’t have a problem not keeping it at home. However, there’s a social element to drinking that is sometimes unavoidable. He sticks to non-alcoholic drinks with you when you have to go to these events and takes you home before anyone you’re with can be too far gone. You’ll tell him that he can have a drink if he wants and that he doesn't need your permission - but he's supposed to be the one that makes you feel safest, so he’ll shrug it off. He doesn’t miss it. 

Jun 

Absolutely respects your work ethic and even admires it. But sometimes he’s concerned by how you always go in early and stay late, take on way too many responsibilities, and never, ever take a sick day or vacation. When he asks you about it, you simply say that you can’t lose this job. He can sympathize because it would be devastating to not be able to do what he does for a living, but he recognizes that it’s not passion, but rather fear, that drives you to overwork yourself. Does little things like driving you to work so you show up on time rather than super early, or making plans right after work so you can’t stay late. He’ll also book a vacation to somewhere that you just can't refuse. Anything to encourage rest, really. 

Hoshi 

Bless his heart, but he's trying to be funny. He hears you come in and hides behind a door, jumping out at you when you enter the room. Does not expect for you to cry and panic, and cries and panics himself, profusely apologizing. Once you both are calm, he doesn't press for details, accepting your explanation that someone that used to be in your life used to do that sort of thing, but that it wasn't all fun and games. Will never, ever be doing that again, and if you're ever around his group members and they get a bright idea, expect that he'll put a stop to it before it even starts. 

Wonwoo

You’ve lost someone close to you. Whether it was a shock or not, whether you were there or not, doesn’t matter. He’s sympathetic to the trauma of losing someone and knows there isn’t a ton he can do to fix it. But he’ll do the little things. He’ll make sure you eat, even if it’s a little and even if he needs to feed you. He’ll make sure you shower, even if he has to get in and wash your hair for you. He’ll make sure you find a balance between sleep and activity, even if he has to gently drag you outside for some fresh air or carry you to bed himself. Also knows you can't really acknowledge any of it right now, but he’ll keep doing it anyway. 

Woozi

You guys don't fight, well, ever. You both are too laid back. But something big happens and you both have had bad days. Jihoon’s not proud when he loses his temper a bit, shouting. Immediately does not like how you fold into yourself and back away. You’ve confided in him before that your home life involved a lot of arguing growing up. He kind of feels like he’s looking at a kid version of you in the past and it makes him feel nauseous. He takes a deep breath, apologizes, and says that you both should cool down. Later that night, you two sit on the couch, talk it out, and promise to call a timeout next time one of you gets upset. Will absolutely never raise his voice at you again.

DK 

He checks your phone for something, not trying to be invasive, but because you had something he needed. He accidentally stumbles across quite a few reminders that you're way overdue for a check up at the doctor’s office. He apologizes that he was accidentally nosy, but asks if you’ve been able to schedule it yet. He can tell that you’re uncomfortable, bordering on scared at the mention of it. You’ve told him before that you were sick as a child and spent a not-so-insignificant time in the hospital and have since then hated clinical settings. So, so understanding, but also so, so insistent that you should take care of yourself. He’ll take off work in a heartbeat to go with you and hold your hand if it will help. 

Mingyu 

You both are working on a grocery list and you ask him to add another case of bottled water. He looks at you quizzically because you already have an untouched case in the closet and the fridge is stocked. You pause, frowning. “But what if we run out?” You’ll say in a small, worried voice. He knows you’ve lived through a natural disaster or two before you moved here. You don't talk about it much, but he’s seen clips on TV before about what that can be like. He nods. “You’re right. I’ll get another one.” He gets two. That closet will never be empty if it makes you feel better. 

Minghao

You’re getting repeated phone calls from a random number. When you tell him this, at first, he nods, kind of shrugging it off. Spam calls happen all the time. (God only knows I get like ten a day from telemarketers.) Still, he watches your anxiety spike every time it happens and gently presses for a bit of an explanation. You tell him shortly that you’ve gotten harassing phone calls in the past and have had to change numbers a time or two because of it. From that point forward, if he's with you and your phone rings from an unknown number, he's holding his hand out expectantly. Doesn't matter if it’s a telemarketer or not. Will always answer the phone for you or simply get you a new number until you’re comfortable. 

Seungkwan

Listen, I think he's ready to fight any day. He’s kind of surprised when you ask if he wants to meet your parents and especially surprised at how anxious you are about it. He sees why immediately because they aren’t nice people. Tolerates very few negative or demeaning comments directed at you and certainly won't tolerate any displays of violence, so I expect this to be a short visit ending with him deciding it’s time to go. Also won’t accept any apology from you for how they behaved and after some consideration will encourage you to limit contact. 

Vernon

When you tell him early on that you don’t drive, he just shrugs. He’ll take the bus or walk with you any day. But one night, you guys have gone out. When you walk out to go home, you realize it’s raining and that you’ve missed the last bus. Vernon shrugs, saying he’ll just call an uber or taxi. You panic and he’s kind of surprised. Still, he puts his phone back up and waits for the rain to stop with you before walking home. You tell him you got into a car accident years ago and your injuries were minor, but you still don't like driving or riding in cars. You say it’s one of the reasons you live where you do, so you can just walk everywhere. Will always stick by you no matter what mode of transportation you choose. 

Chan 

You express that you don't like your new job and he’s surprised, mostly because you were so excited to start it. You tell him your coworkers are kind of cliquey, and you don't feel like you fit in. He understands, telling you that they don't have to be your friends as you can work with them. Still, you tell him you can handle a bit of rejection, but you're afraid that they might become mean or hostile, like the catty women in the last place you worked. He encourages you to focus on work for now and feel out the situation for a little bit longer. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn't work out because you still have him. Cheesy, I know, but it does make you feel better. 

[lady-ashfade]

Day 2 Of Fictober

Poison

Yandere! Rhaenrya Targaryen x Daughter!Reader.

Ask: Can you write a platonic yandere mother Rhaenyra fic where she secretly gives her daughter non fatal doses of poison so that she is to sick to leave Dragonstone when its time for her to marry her betrothed.

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Over protective, over bearing parent, being poisoned. Poison, family full of yanderes, daemon being included because it fits.

The day you were born Rhaenrya swore she could hear the gods sing in harmony together. Your cries sounded like heaven to her ears, the little girl who belong to her. Y/n, the first daughter of Rhaenrya Targaryen. “Beautiful,” she brushed the hair and blood off of your forehead and placed a kiss.

“My sweet girl.”

You had stoped crying when you came into contact with her skin and warmth, she was safe and familiar. Rhaenrya had blessed with a boy and she was grateful to have two beautiful children. But her first born had dark hair and fair light skin, you had her features of paler skin and silver hair. Your mother knew she needed to protect you from the darkness of the world and keep you innocent.

Each day you were at the queens side or in your own room. She would take her younger son to see you and get you both comfortable with one another. Jace couldn’t stop smiling and clapping when he saw you, he’s such a good older brother. As the years passed by you grew to need your mother or your brothers, being dependent on her. Where the princess went you weren’t far behind in a small dress and coping her.

But now it was the day she had dreaded for your whole life. You being betrothed to a lord far away and not with her.

“But mother, I need silver.” You huffed as you pressed the dress to your body. A smile on your cheeks as you swing yourself from side to side in the mirror. “Silver will match his clothes.” She cringed at your giggling and delighted to be married off, to leave her behind. A daughter should want to stay with her mother as long as she could, even cry when leaving her mother.

“You are stressing dearest,” her hands stopped your hands and looked at you through the mirror and smiled. “No need not to change for a man, not when you’re already perfection.” Her lips met your cheeks and you laugh at her sweetness and affection. You turned around and took her back into your arms and hugged her close.

“Only because you’re my mother and taught me every I know. I will make you proud, mother. This marriage will help our family with the whispers,” a hushed tone of the mention of rumors spreading around the realm of you and your brothers birth. “Promise.” Her chest loved how you smiled and wanted to help her, her sweet girl.

But it was foolish to think she’d let you go. And that’s why she needed to keep you by her side since you were so naive.

She watched as you laughed with your brothers at the table and ate your favorite meal. How could she let this go? As soon as you lifted your cup to your mouth she was ready for the moment to happen. Daemon by her side keeping a eye on you too as he help with the poison, a maester waiting outside the door. A few seconds later you began to cough and play it off for a few seconds until it became hard for you to breathe.

“Someone help her!” Rhaenrya acted the part of a scared mother and it wasn’t all a lie. Seeing you so panicked and scared, grabbing ahold of her as if it was the last time. Of course she hated it but this was for the best. No one would ever expected the woman who loved her children above all else to poison them. Daemon had a “search” for the person who did it, and a servant was kill for the crime. A innocent life was worthless to them when it came to you.

A few days later you awaken from your rest and saw your mother beside your bed as she hummed. “Mother?” You called out with a horse voice and she jumped up to take you in her arms. The relief spread on her face as she kissed your head repeatedly and whisper prayers to the gods. “I was so worried.” You held onto her but she got a cup and lifts it to your lips. The first thing was to clear your throat and get it back.

Sipping the drink you smile and lean back down, looking at her loving. “Please tell me I wasn’t out to long, Sir Roderick will be saddened at my lack of letters.” It went unnoticed that she gripped the sheets and a quick smirk that she turned into a smile. He will have to find another bride to have because you’re never leaving the castle.

“I’m sure you will recover soon.” The cup was set back down as she smiled at the bottom where a powder was seen. Rhaenrya kept you on a small amount of poison every week to keep you from getting around on your own or to long. Something to make your body weak without her help.

“Now rest up, my sweet girl.”

[asharasasylum]

The Devil May Cry

Yandere brother x sister! reader (hotd) - part 2 here

author's note: hey guys trying something different. no character specified but characters i write for/have written for and think would fit, highlighted at the bottom. warnings: yandere. non con kisses. incest. abuse. talks of past child abuse. 18+

After everything he constantly puts you through, you still seem to always go running back. 

He’s cruel. Some people would even characterise him as vile, your parents included, but you saw through all of that. It was a reaction to the years of abuse and trauma your parents had buried him under as a child. So he lashed out sometimes, called you spiteful names and even scared you at times. But how was he supposed to know any better, especially when the people that were meant to love him had shown him nothing but hate. 

You felt it was up to you to show him love even when his cruelty was aimed towards you. He’s your brother, who neglects their brother. 

You took it. Every single bit of it. From the nasty venom he spat from his lips to the objects that skimmed you as they flew from his fist, smashing into the walls behind you. He terrified you most of the time and yet you still offered a hand out for him to bite. 

But he’s taken it too far. You repeat it over and over in your head again as you pack all your remaining stuff into a bag. 

You can still feel the indent of his rings against your throat and the touch of his lips pressed against yours. Bile rose up in the back of your throat as your mind tried to face the reality of what had really just happened. 

“We’re playing this game again are we?” You heard him sneer from the bed. 

You glanced up at him for a second, noticing how he was still sprawled out over the top of his sheets as if nothing had happened. Your stomach twisted in disgust and you turned away again. 

“I’ll see you in a few hours, yeah?” He asked rhetorically, genuinely believing like all the other times before you were going to come crawling back. But you couldn’t not when you could still feel his body pressing against yours as he forced himself on top of you, the feel of his body moulding into yours and the hardness that he had pressed against your crotch. 

You’re in the car before you know it, half an hour away with his mocking laughter still ringing in your ears. 

You can barely see out your window, it’s clouded by something only you don’t notice what it is till you pull over. Your hand reaches out to wipe it, only to realise it is tears covering your vision. 

Even as you frantically wipe at them, they’re thick and heavy as they rack through your body. They’re not going anywhere, along with the memory of what he had just done to you. 

It was only a kiss. You try to ease yourself with that thought. It had only lasted a few seconds before you stopped it. It was only a kiss.

//

You were meant to be gone for a few hours at best. Back before dinner, bringing him something home with a teary eyed smile and an apology as if you were the one in the wrong. Yet it is three am and you haven’t even so much as sent him a text. 

At first he’s worried, pacing back and forth in his bedroom thinking of all the awful things that might have happened to you. He’d never forgive himself if you got hurt. Especially when he had been the one to drive you away. 

Maybe he had taken it too far this time. But how was he meant to hold back when your eyes brimmed with tears and you pouted at his cruel words. He’s been desperate for a taste of you for years so who was he to deny himself when you were looking so delicate and ripe. 

His worry finally dies down when he tracks your phone down, finding your car outside a familiar building. That worry twists into a burning rage that courses through his body as he stares up into dimly lit windows

It’s only a friend, you had told him. No one he should be worried about, your words mock him as he taps his finger against his steering wheel. He felt like he could hear you laughing now. Besides you’re my brother and you’re way too old to be getting protective over me. 

The light flickers on in one of the apartment windows, and through the peak of the curtains he notices your silhouette. He knows it's you, recognising the tone of your skin under the flattering bright light. He knows the contours of your frame, even from a distance. 

You’re fine. But it isn’t relief that fills him as he realises this. He can’t describe the feeling that sinks into his skin as he starts his car up again. He’s never felt like this before, his anger mixing in with something else. 

His cheeks are wet suddenly and he wipes at them, only to realise he’s crying. But these tears aren’t for him, he tells himself as he drives off. No, these years are for you. 

HOTD - Aegon Targaryen. Aemond Targaryen. Jacaerys Velaryon.

HOTD - Fem x Male character Insert Master List

(Dividers by @cafekitsune)

[mrsriddlenott]

It’s Okay To Love Them Both

Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader x Enzo Berkshire

Kinda from all their POVs at different times. I absolutely love this and I am putting so much work into it that it is honestly funny and I’m gonna cry when I’m done🥹😂(may have gotten carried away) not entirely proofread yet.

Warnings: Fluff,Angst,Insecurities, Manipulation(kinda ig? I don’t see it as manipulative but I wanted to include the warning for ppl who don’t share that opinion), Nicknames(Princess, Gorgeous, Petal, Little Badger, etc)

*No smut but I can make a pt2 for that if it’s wanted*

{masterlist}

This was requested a LONG time ago and I REALLY hope the person who requested it is still here or in the old Taglist, I am so sorry this took so long. My brain just was not working properly for a long time but I think I am back in my groove. I have been working on this on and off for a literal YEAR so if you are not here I am so disappointed in myself for not getting it out to you.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when you started to fall for both the boys, but it started so innocently, and now it felt like it was always bound to grow from the very beginning. You met Enzo first, he had been assigned your tutor at the start of term thanks to your poor Potions grade every year prior. He worked with you tirelessly as though it was more than something asked of him by the head of his house, and when you inevitably out grew the need for a tutor, he invited you to your first Slytherin party as a celebration. A party that was of course thrown by his best friend. Enzo talked about Mattheo non-stop and you just had to meet him, however when he spoke with you that fateful night, you realized the trouble you were in and you just couldn’t stay away from him, you tried at first, but it was pointless.

The more you talked with them the more you felt for them. They were so easy to be around, Mattheo made you feel safe and heard, he always stood up for you even though his reputation could have been hindered by befriending a Hufflepuff. While Enzo made you feel known, he looked at you in a way that no one had before and opened your own mind up to itself. Even though they were so clearly different, as you grew closer with them, you began to notice just how similar the two were. Mattheo tried his hardest to hide it but on the inside he was the sweet boy no one saw, and Enzo had a hidden darkness within him that no one would guess, one that helped you come to terms with your own.

“Hello Princess, I’ve got a question,” Enzo stated from your side as he caught you off guard in the corridors, ripping you out of your thoughts with his smile alone. He watched you intently with his soft, safe eyes as he waited for you to respond. He was used to your adorable shocked expression by now, he knew you somehow weren’t used to this kind of attention yet, and certainly not from Slytherins, but he just couldn’t stop coming back to you. Neither of them could, so they just didn’t.

It’s not like they sat down and planned it….well not exactly. The idea was there of course, from the second Mattheo saw you he knew he wanted you he just didn’t want to hurt Enzo and even when they soon both realized they felt the same way, it wasn’t really a conscious decision….not in the beginning anyway. They’d speak to you one after the other like a pattern of turns, and never without telling each other beforehand. Eventually they started whispering about your little chats in their dorm late at night, almost debriefing the other as they reminisced and waited for their next chance to see you. It took quite awhile for the boys to realize just how far their feelings had grown, and not only for you, their own bond had been strengthened by their shared affections and time spent solely focused on you.

“Oh….what is it?” You spoke, slightly dazed after staring into Enzo’s eyes for a few seconds too many, something he reveled in as your pupils dilated and your lips formed a smile against your will. He chuckled at your nervousness, poking his elbow out for you to take as you resumed your walk to the Library, you took it immediately, settling your palm into the crook of his arm as he took your books into his free hand.

“I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to Hogsmeade tomorrow?” His voice was soft, calming, and comforting as he gently guided you through the tidal wave of students suddenly parting to let him through. It shocked you how not one, but two boys of such a high popularity status seemed to care so much about your presence. At first you genuinely assumed it was some joke, a prank some classmate had put them up to maybe, but after months of the two always coming back to you and getting absolutely nothing in return, you deemed yourself safe.

“Like a….?” You started, letting your sentence die out in embarrassment of being wrong, Enzo chuckled making your stomach jump as you entered the Library, “Yes Petal, I wanna take you out on a date.” He turned to face you as he set your books on the nearest study desk, taking your hand in his as he reiterated in a soft voice, “Would you like to go on a date with me? We can do whatever you like….or we can go with my plan?”

“You….have a plan?” It wasn’t like you were new to dating or having a partner, but you certainly weren’t used to said partner putting in such effort for you, making you feel as special as Enzo and Mattheo did so easily. You gulped slightly upon remembering Mattheo, would he be mad if you said yes? Or hurt? Would he care at all? Would he plan a date for you like this?

“Is that a yes?” Enzo chuckled as he watched your brows furrow upon you falling into your thoughts again, “It’s okay if you have plans or….or don’t want to join me,” He suddenly seemed very worried, his confidence faltering as you watched his face quietly.

“Of course I want to go with you Lorenzo,” He audibly sighed at your words, a warm feeling washing over him as soon as his arms wrapped around you, his head falling heavily against your shoulder as he laughed, “Had me thinking I ruined the best part of Hogwarts Lovely.” Your giggles pulled him from his hiding spot in your neck as your hands held onto his shoulders.

“No way I am for favorite thing about Hogwarts,” You laughed with a shake of your head, avoiding his eyes as you moved away to settle into your study spot. Enzo watched you from a few feet away now, observing your genuine misbelief and wondering how you could look in the mirror everyday and not see a portrait of royal standard. How you could possibly not see that he was falling madly in love with you, certainly he wasn’t that subtle was he? He’d just have to turn in up a notch then.

“I was thinking we could get a drink at the Three Broomsticks,” his voice was low and soft as he approached you again, slowly “After which I’ll spoil us with a trip to Honeydukes,” he paused, stepping closer still as you avoided direct eye contact, “Then we can eat sweets as we take a walk around the Black Lake and talk,” you gasped as his cold fingers brushed your warm skin, pulling a strand of hair behind your ear and tracing the shape of your jaw before pulling your chin up, forcing an intense eye contact, “How does that sound?” His voice was laced with his usual confidence once again as he placed his free hand on the desk, leaning into you further and towering over you with a smile. That crooked smile that was always so contagious made it impossible to stop yourself from smiling back and agreeing to the perfect date once more.

Enzo left the Library with a triumphant grin, giving you one last glance over his shoulder and throwing you a wink, reveling in your face glowing bright red. You found it difficult to suppress giggles as you tried to work on your studying, beginning to imagine your date with Enzo instead.

~~~~

It felt like you had spent days alone in the Library working on your homework, every little thought of Enzo distracting you from the work that had accumulated in your classes this week. You regretted not asking Enzo to keep you company, even though you were such a nervous wreck around him when you were alone together you just found everything to be so much easier with him there. It was like every bit of anxiety flitted away when either of your boys were there to comfort you.

“Hey Gorgeous,” Mattheo’s smooth voice derailed your train of thought as the chair behind you loudly scraped across the dusty stone floor, making you cringe as Mattheo plopped onto the creaking wood so he was sat only inches from you. “What are you stud-“ The loud shush from Madam Pince interrupted him as he laughed and held his finger to his lips jokingly, pulling his chair impossibly closer only to slowly whisper in your ear, “What are you studying?”

You tried to hide the shiver his voice sent down your spine, tingles covering your entire body before you could gain your control, “Just Transfiguration stuff, I’m almost done though,” Mattheo hums beside you, letting you silently work as he watched your very concentrated face while you wrote. He quickly became impatient however, tapping his fingers and feet to different beats you didn’t recognize as he slouched in his chair before dramatically sighing after only a few minutes and sitting up.

“Are you done yet?” He whispered, desperate for your undivided attention as he leant into you further, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch you like a lost puppy, “I’ve got something for you, ya know,” His excitement was evident in his hushed tone, making you finally turn to look at him again while he excitedly reached into his pocket with a proud smile upon getting you to look at him. He struggled momentarily, cursing under his breath as he pulled out a thin golden chain with a badger charm dangling from it.

You eyed the fine jewelry in his hand for only a split second, it was truly beautiful and your exact style, but it looked expensive and too elegant to be for you. Noticing the guilty glint in your eye, Mattheo didn’t give you the chance to deny the gift, believing it was yours already even if you wanted to throw it in the garbage as soon as he left. You would have to get used to being spoiled, he thought as he got up to delicately drape it across your neck and clip it in the back before you could ask the price or where he got it. He freed your hair from being trapped below the chain, bouncing it and fixing stray strands for you before leaving a kiss on the top of your head, “It’s almost as beautiful as you isn’t it my Little Badger?”

Your face was painted red in a matter of seconds as his hands felt up and down your arms mindlessly, his fingertips leaving tingles everywhere they touched giving you an entirely uncommon burst of confidence. You jumped from your seat with a loud thank you as your arms draped across his shoulders, letting your head rest on his toned body as his arms engulfed you in his warmth and his chest vibrated with a laugh, “You are very welcome Pretty Girl.”

Your eyes met as you pulled away from him, glossy eyes darting between his and his lips before you launched yourself forward to attack them with yours. Mattheo didn’t waste a second in returning your kiss, letting your lips meld together as he sighed against your mouth, the taste of your lips better than he could have ever imagined. Your fingers got lost in his hair, tugging at his curls and deepening the kiss, forcing him to restrain himself by gripping onto your hips tighter to keep from smashing you into the bookshelf behind him and starting a battle between your tongues. You hummed in satisfaction, your senses and thoughts lost in Mattheo as he nipped at your bottom lip making you whimper and fall farther into him. You wanted the kiss to last forever, the feeling of his hands grounding you, letting your brain focus for the first time since…..Enzo.

The image of the sweet boy who cared so much for you catching you making out with his best friend flashed in your mind, snapping you out of your pleasure as you abruptly pulled away from Mattheo with a shocked expression. Your eyes brimmed with tears at the thought of Enzo crying, hurting over you betraying him, hating you forever….you felt horrible. Your teary gaze locked with Mattheo’s before you were pushing away and grabbing your books, rushing from the Library without another word. After only a second of truly believing someone had Stupefied him, the curly headed boy tried to catch up to you, desperately calling your name before losing you in the packed corridors.

Mattheo cursed to himself as he reluctantly turned away from the direction you took and toward the Slytherin Common Room. He couldn’t stop thinking about every possible outcome this could cause, he should have said something, done something, but he was far too focused on your scent, your taste, the way you felt in his hands. He’s such an idiot, he needed to fix this, the thoughts bouncing back and forth in his mind as his legs numbly carried him through the castle.

“You need to make sure this date we planed goes well because I may have just royally screwed us” Mattheo was almost shouting as he slammed the door of his and Enzo’s shared dorm behind him, thanking the Gods that their dorm mates were off doing who knows what.

“What!? What are you talking about?” Enzo rushed forward on his bed, tossing his reading aside as he watched Mattheo’s face contort in worry. He could tell by his fidgeting hands and pacing of the room that he was truly worried there was no going back from whatever he did, and without a second thought, Enzo was standing to pull him into a hug, asking again, softer this time, “What went wrong?”

“She kissed me and I fucking kissed her back,” Mattheo snapped, slipping out of Enzo’s comfortable grasp as he pinched at the bridge of his nose, “and then she looked so sad and my mouth just would not form any words. I stood there like a fucking asshole while she was crying because I was too focused on her lips on mine.” He sighed, chewing at his thumb as he paced back and forth in the middle of the dorm.

“She kissed you though that’s a good thing, not exactly to plan, but that means she probably likes us bo-“ Mattheo was always so calm and collected, except for when it came to you, every worry that flashes through his brain about never seeing you again makes him less and less reasonable.

“I think her rushing out crying tells me otherwise Enzo,” Mattheo began to ramble, his brain was far too worried to be able to keep a single thought inside, “We need to give her space, let her have time to think before your date, she’s probably confused she….she probably doesn’t want to get hurt or or I don’t know hurt anyone else. She doesn’t know we want to be with her together….what if she thinks something bad li-like you’ll be mad.” Mattheo snapped his fingers and pointed to his best friend as though he had it all figured out, just to return to his ranting.

“Mattheo calm down, we don’t know anything yet okay,” Enzo knew that when Mattheo got like this, feeding his worries would not help, but as he continued to list off the many holes this plan had that they were just now realizing, the heavy feeling of anxiety settled into his chest.

~~~~

When the next afternoon finally came, you contemplated skipping the date entirely, telling Enzo you had plans after all, but some part of you just wouldn’t allow it. That same part controlled you as you desperately searched for an appropriate first date outfit, throwing dresses and various tops and bottoms on and off as your dorm room grew messy. “Damn Y/N/N, I knew you liked this boy but jeez….this much worry about an outfit?” Your dorm mate and best friend since First Year jokes as she strutted into the room.

“Hannah you’re a lifesaver, I need to borrow a dress, and it needs to be a good one because I already have something to apologize for.” You rambled, turning to her trunk that was always available for you to search through.

“What could you have possibly done to that boy that needs an apology? I think he very well could be obsessed with you.” She giggled, not realizing your worry as you halted your actions entirely, “Ikissedhisbestfriend” you jumbled, turning but avoiding the eyes of your best friend who only understood you thanks to her knowing you so well.

“You…wait did I hear that correctly? You- you and Riddle did what now?” Her shocked, almost excited expression had you feeling worse as you abandoned your search for a dress, flopping down onto your bed as tears welled in your eyes. “He’s gonna hate me when he finds out.” You sighed, hiding your face in your hands as the bed dipped beside you to make room for Hannah.

“Hey hey….Sweetie no rational person could ever hate you.” She sighed, rubbing the back of your hands as she pulled them from your face, “This is a grey area okay, you haven’t made a commitment to either of them and it’s clear they both want to be the one picked. You need to make a decision somehow and if they don’t want to make it easy on you this is going to get dramatic.” Your eyes met hers in confusion as tears ran down your face and onto your mattress, “I guess what I’m trying to say is….you need to make a decision either way and the only way to make the right choice is to know how they both would treat you, and the only way to find that out is to explore both options for a bit.”

“But….I don’t want to hurt them, and I want them both in my life still….I don’t know what I’d do if I made a decision and the other never spoke to me again.” Hannah gave you an apologetic smile before piping up again, “Well….it would be cruel to keep them both at your feet waiting just to never pick, you’ve got two options here, let them go and hope you meet someone else one day, or come to terms with what may happen after you do choose.”

“I’m gonna choose, I just can’t yet, I don’t wanna lose either of them.”

~~~~

Enzo’s breath catches in his throat as he sees you walking into the crowed dining room of the restaurant, the red fabric of your dress hugging you perfectly. The badger necklace he had helped Mattheo pick out rested on your chest so wonderfully he just had to comment on it. “Well isn’t this cute, where’d ya get it huh?” He asks in a teasing tone you know so well.

“Um well, I” As you start trying to speak all that can come out is sobs at the thought of hurting him, suddenly your dress is too tight and the room too stuffy, you can’t breath. “I um,” you try but once again fail. Before you can think you feel hands on your waste and your being tugged out of the busy restaurant by someone as Enzo follows. Once the door was open you rushed into the cold air and walked away from the two.

“Did i do something?” Enzo’s voice was desperate, strained to a point that you thought he was about to cry right now, “Please just tell me how I messed up so i can fix it, I promise I didn’t mean to hurt you,” His voice raised as you kept walking to catch your breath pacing back and forth before taking notice of Mattheo standing beside him.

“What are you doing here?” You spit out, not meaning for it so sound as mean as it did, you sigh as you correct your voice, tears beginning to fall again. “I’m so sorry, I thought I could pick but I can’t, I love you both and I am so so sorry.”

The boys eyes lock together immediately and as though on cue they start to laugh, they know it’s wrong, they know they shouldn’t but they can’t stop. And somehow you know it is okay and start to laugh too.

“What is wrong with you two?” You ask between tears and laughter, you must look a mess but your two best friends still stare at you as though you hung the moon.

“Petal, we want you too, you think we can chose. Us. Two of the dumbest people you have ever known.” Enzo says with a giggle as he steps up to you to kiss you tear streaked face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Petal, but I was planning on having Mattheo come to our little date anyway, we wanted to tell you tonight how much we want you. Together. All of us.”

Your eyes dart to Mattheo as he smiles wildly down at you, “so you’re not mad at me”

“Of course not Princess, you’re our perfect girl.” Mattheo says in a soft voice as he moves to wrap his arms around both Enzo and y/n, leaving a kiss on both their cheeks as comfort he has never felt begins to settle in his chest. He can be happy like this.

Your rapid heart beat begins to settle in the arms of your two favorite boys, your tears continue but only from happiness and the feeling of pure luck bringing you to the happiest moment of your life.

“Now, how about we finish the date we had planned for you Petal.” Enzo sates as he grabs your hand, your other quickly being grabbed by Mattheo as they begin to lead you to Honeydukes.

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[sqquidzz]

How would kny characters hurt you in an argument?

Includes: Tanjiro Kamado, Kyojuro Rengoku, Giyuu Tomioka, Sanemi Shinazugawa

A/N: Hello readers! This is an idea I got from a hc post on here, I'm not sure who made it but I give credit to them for this hc idea. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

KAMADO TANJIRO:

I feel like most arguments would start because of Tanjiro's protectiveness of his friends

He would probably start scolding you for doing something he thought was reckless while fighting a demon

Especially if Nezuko we're to be the one to save you and get injured, he would probably be pissed off

Tanjiro is the type of person to bottle his emotions up, so he really just snapped at you

He seems like the person who yells and cries during an argument

He would bring up the fact that you had jumped into danger without thinking, calling you selfish for thinking only about the battle and not of your friends

If someone had gotten injured protecting you, like Nezuko, she wouldn't be able to say anything since she was healing and unable to stick up for you

You would just be too shocked to even say anything to defend yourself, along with everyone else, since no one has seen Tanjiro like this before

Once he finishes, he simply excuses himself quietly, saying that he's tired from dealing with this

Bonus!

Zenitsu would immediately rush to your side to comfort you as tears spilled down your cheeks

This would be especially hard if you had past problems with arguments and yelling

RENGOKU KYOJURO:

Now Rengoku seems like a type of person to be less of a yelling type at the beginning, but slowly builds up his anger to the point that he starts yelling

Usually the arguments are about how Shinjuro treats Rengoku and Senjuro, with Rengoku insisting that he can convince his father to be better

You try to tell him that Rengoku should ask for help to deal with his father, but Rengoku stubbornly disagrees

His demeanor during arguments is different, his eyes looking darker and it seems like he loses his friendly glow

When Rengoku argues back, he usually uses something your sensitive about, like if you had a bad relationship with your parents

He would claims that he's at least trying to fix his relationship with his dad, hitting you hard and causing you to go speechless

rengoku usually just stomps away from the fight when he's done saying his mind, leaving you teary eyes and with a broken heart

TOMIOKA GIYUU:

Giyuu always wants to avoid arguing as much as possible, always shutting you down when you want to talk about some problems

This causes you to get frustrated and start bombarding him with questions, like why is he avoiding their problems

Giyuu seems like the type of person to talk more than yell, but his voice is still strained as if he's holding back from yelling at you

Giyuu knows exactly where to hit you to make it hurt, taunting you about problems that you could never solve

His words would go to the point that he makes you burst out crying and run out of the room

He immediately regrets whatever he said in the argument, and ends up going to bed alone, covering himself in the sheets as tears of regret slide down his face

Bonus!

Giyuu wouldn't be able to face you for a few days after the a t in fear of hurting you again with his words

It takes a lot of reassurance from you to get him outside again

SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI:

Sanemi is the type of dude yo go all out during arguments, yelling and screaming at you, even sometimes going as far as you throw things into the ground in rage

You both seem like you're at each other's necks, not backing down from proving your side right

Sanemi seems like the type of person to call you degrading names, such as coward, selfish, etc.

You try to stay calm at first, but you have yo resort to yelling to get your point across

Sanemi is usually arguing to you about staying out of his and Genya's relationship, saying that it is non of your business

You end up running out of breath before he does, simply listening to him yell at you for a few more minutes before he storms out the room and slams the door

By the time he's gone, tears are already streaming down your face, breathless and tired from screaming your lungs out as you collapse to your knees, sobbing

[dark666posting]

Stress Relief

Innocent!Virgin!Reader x Dark!Eddie Munson

TW: NON CON, NON CON!!********

It's been a long week. College enrollment on top of job searching isn't boding well for Eddie. You notice he's been on edge for the past few days and it's only getting worse as time goes on. He's lashed out at almost everybody but you, including his band and DnD club members.

The others ask you what Eddie's damage is, but you're as clueless as they are. Knowing how sensitive you are, you decide to keep a little distance between yourself and Eddie, certain you'd cry if he were to snap at you. He's only ever done it once before when you accidentally dropped his guitar while it was in his case. You were helping unload for a show and he went off. It makes you embarrassed to remember, so you'd rather not repeat it.

That wishful thinking doesn't last long. You get out of your last class a little later than usual, not realizing your presentation went over the time limit. Eddie, who is usually your ride home, taps his foot impatiently in the parking lot.

"Hey, Eddie! Sorry I'm late, we-"

"Don't worry. No one's day moves unless you say so, princess." He huffs, looking straight ahead, avoiding looking at you at all.

"Eddie... I'm sorry." You stand with the door open, unsure if you're still welcome in his van if he's this upset with you.

"Are you just gonna stand there? Is it not enough that I waited for you, we gotta waste some more time?" He tosses his hands up and your mouth hangs slightly open in shock. He's never been this kind of person, he must be going through a lot. You feel terrible for him, it must be hard. You quickly climb into the passenger seat and he sighs an exasperated "Finally."

"Eddie," you try to get him to talk to you. You're hoping you can help get to the bottom of all his stressors.

"What, Y/N?" He pinches the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb as if he's already more annoyed than he's ever been. It makes you feel small.

"A-Are you okay? I know you've been stressed and I-"

"Oh, you know I've been stressed? Thank you, Y/N, for having eyes," he laughs through the anger. "What if instead of pretending to be my therapist, you just sit there quietly while I give you another free ride home?"

You gasp, unsure what you did to warrant this kind of treatment from him. You turn your attention to the road ahead as you try to hold back your tears. Your unsteady breaths are as quiet as you can keep them, but he hears you anyway. When he glances over and sees the tears finally overflow past your lashes, he sighs, shaking his head. You feel humiliated. Unbeknownst to you, and honestly news to him, seeing you cry makes him... Incredibly aroused.

Eddie delivers you to your house and speeds off before you can thank him or apologize or anything. You feel a hollow in your stomach. You don't want to lose your best friend, but you're far too sensitive to be talked to like that. You disappear to your room to cry and change into your pajamas. You plan on spending the entire rest of the day and night in bed.

You're relaxing in your room, listening to your favorite Blondie cassette, and getting ready for bed. You had half expected Eddie to call, but he doesn't. You know you'd forgive him in an instant if he'd just call. You turn off the lamp on your nightstand and settle into your plush, pink bed. Sleep takes no time to find you, you're drifted off into a deep slumber in just a few minutes.

In fact, you're sleeping so deeply, you don't notice the sound of your window being jostled open. A cool, nighttime breeze wafts through your room as a curly-haired figure climbs through. Eddie carefully closes the window and steps toward you where you sleep. He hoped you'd be awake, but he's not sure why. He didn't plan on apologizing to you. He stares at you for a while, reaching into his pants to palm himself over his boxers.

"Fuck," he whispers. Eddie didn't realize what it would do to him to see you laying braless in your skimpy, pink silk pajamas, surrounded by your pink and white bed set. You're like an angel. All he can think about is how pretty your crying face looked earlier today. The cool breeze from the open window has hardened your nipples under your top and Eddie can't help but rub his thumb over them gently. They become even more pebbled from his touch.

Eddie stifles a laugh of disbelief as he watches the rosy blush rise in your cheeks. As if no longer in control of his actions, Eddie unfastens his belt and frees his erection that's straining against his boxers. He inhales sharply through his teeth as he strokes his shaft a few times before taking your sleeping hand and limply wrapping it around his length. He strokes himself with your hand for a while before becoming a little bolder as his arousal swells.

Carefully, Eddie takes your head to the side and gently slips his tip past your lips. The wetness of your tongue is enough to send him over the edge, but he holds back. That's it, he's caving. He throws his shirt off of himself and dips into your bed beside you. Instinctively, you cuddle your back into him, subconsciously brushing your ass against his exposed cock.

Eddie reaches between your legs to strategically rub your clit so you'd already be wet for him. You're sound asleep, but moaning like a whore being filled from every angle. He's mind blown hearing your innocent lips release such vulgar whines. He whips your shorts and panties off with ease and positions himself at your dripping hole. Just as he slips it in, your eyes shoot open as the stretching pain tears you from your sleep.

Your fight or flight response tries to carry you away, but Eddie's grip around you tightens. He continues rutting into you, releasing sensual deep breaths down your body.

"Shhh, baby. You're okay. You're okay," he whispers sweetly as if he's not forcing himself inside you.

"Eddie?!" You gasp in disbelief and betrayal. "Eddie, please! It hurts!"

"Shut the fuck up." He grips your hair, pulling your head back so he can watch the tears well in your eyes.

"Eddie!"

"What's wrong with you? Just help me destress a little, okay? That's what friends do," he coos in your ear, not letting up.

"But... It.. hurts..." You sob.

"Why the fuck does it hurt so bad? You're not a virgin are you?" Eddie furrows his brow, unsure how you of all people could go this long without having sex. You are gorgeous, after all.

You don't reply, letting Eddie know that yes, you are. Well, were. Tears fall down your face as you close your eyes. At first, he feels bad, but it quickly fuels his fire when he thinks about the way he's ruined you for anyone else. He picks up his pace, breaking your heart further as you watch him relish in robbing you of your virginity.

Eddie withdraws from you for only a moment before climbing on top of you and forcing your legs open in front of him. He slams back into you, stimulating your clit with his thumb. You brace yourself by holding into the bars of your brass headboard while he fucks into you with no emotion, no love, only anger, and lust.

Eddie feels his climax coming so he places a firm palm over your lower abdomen as he fucks you. The new friction builds an orgasm in you at an inhuman pace.

"Don't cum until I tell you," he demands dryly.

"Eddie, please stop..."

"Don't. Cum." You try to do as he says, fighting for your life to withhold your orgasm before he allows you to climax. His thrusts are rough and mean, feeling as if he's tearing you apart from the inside.

"Now," he breathes, allowing you to release. You flood him where he stands when you release, drenching your pretty little, pink, gingham bed set. Eddie pulls out and strokes himself, cumming all over your face and chest. He's breathless, staring at you with a smile. Something he thought he'd never see is his innocent best friend covered in his cum.

"E-Eddie..." You sob, staring at him through one eye as the other is covered with the evidence of Eddie's visit. "What did I do?" You sob.

"Shhh, shhh. You did amazing. Don't cry, look how much you enjoyed it." He touches the drenched blankets and traces his fingers up your legs. You shudder, pulling away from his touch.

"You... I didn't..." You try to find your words.

"Don't start acting like you're too good for it now. I'll be seeing you next week, okay? This is how you're gonna help me manage all this stress." He starts getting dressed, leaving you filthy and fucked out.

"I-I don't want to..."

"Oh, please. You're not gonna make your best friend suffer like this, are you? Besides, you don't really have a choice, do you?" He smiles at you, warmly. It's confusing and unsettling.

The rest of the week, Eddie seems completely back to normal. He's mended things with all his friends. You watch them in the lunchroom as you contemplate eating lunch outside or in a bathroom instead of taking your trademark seat right next to your best friend. Eddie catches your eye and waves you over. You do as you're told, why do you do that?

You flinch as you try to sit too fast, still healing from the internal thrashing given to you by Eddie. He smirks as he watches you avoid eye contact. He'll be sure to address that at your next session.

[seungminnie-meong]

roommate ateez reacting to you dealing with mental illness

Your roommate Ateez finding out/reacting to you having a mental illness. GN reader for all, Feminine clothing in Wooyoungs, makeup in sans.  CW for mental illness including depression, bipolar/mania, self-harm (if you're sensitive skip San and Mingi) , and eating disorders/body dysmorphia (if you're sensitive skip Wooyoung and Jongho)

Hongjoong was never one to pry. He usually minded his own business, and you minded yours. That was how the two of you worked so well as roommates. But one day, he couldn’t shake the notion that something was wrong. It was nearly 7 pm and he hadn’t seen you the entire day. He decided to go out and pick up some ingredients to make dinner for the both of you, as he hadn’t seen you eat at all so far today. When he came back, you were still holed up in your room, so he decided against his non-prying nature, and gently knocked on your door. He heard some quiet shuffling, and after a few moments, a tired looking you opened the door. He smiled, glad to know you were okay.

“I bought us some stuff to make dinner, I know you haven’t eaten all day. Do you want to help me?” He offered gently, and you nodded. You were slightly embarrassed to still be in your pajamas at 7 at night, but Hongjoong understood. He never asked any questions, he just quietly sat beside you and made sure you always knew you didn’t have to be alone through this. He knew you didn’t always feel like talking about it, and that was okay. The two of you stood quietly in the kitchen while you chopped vegetables and Joongie cooked up some meat. He stopped to play some music over the speaker he kept in the kitchen. As Billie Jean played through the speaker he began to sway and dance to the beat and you just giggled at him. He grabbed both of your hands to get you to dance along and you just laughed. He may have been a professional dancer but the way he was dancing now was definitely intended only to make you laugh. You began to dance along with him as best as you could, abandoning your chopped vegetables. Hongjoong started jumping around, singing into his wooden spoon as a mic, putting on a complete kitchen concert. Before you know it, you forget what you were even sad about to begin with. 

Seonghwa was caring by nature, and he was the first to notice when you started to have a depression spell. He knew he couldn’t stop the depression from coming on, but he could help you by making sure you were well taken care of. The first day he noticed you sleeping in until noon, he was doing your laundry for you and reminding you to brush your teeth. The day he noticed you hadn’t bothered with eating any real food, he was filling up your water bottle and placing it on your nightstand and cooking ramyeon for the two of you for dinner. But, the day he heard you sniffling and crying behind the closed door of your room, he was at a loss. He felt helpless. He knew how to take care of your needs, but when it came to helping you with the actual depression, he was stuck. He sat in the living room, conflicted. He had never dealt with depression before. He had his bouts with anxiety occasionally, but this was a different kind of beast. He thought back on what helped him when he felt sad. He walked back to his room and pulled all the blankets and stuffies off of his bed and marched back to your door, knocking twice before pushing the door open. “Hwa? What are you doing?” you said through teary eyes. “We're gonna build a fort.” “Why?” You choked out a sob, and Seonghwa fought the urge to not cry himself. He was a pretty emotional guy, and you were important to him. Seeing you cry made him sad. To distract himself, he got busy pulling blankets over your furniture, slowly making the fort come together. After a minute, you stopped sniffling, getting up from your bed to help him. It was so absurd that you really had no other choice but to help him, I mean he was in your room after all. As the two of you worked together to put your pillows and plushies in the final places and admire your work, Seonghwa pulled you into the fort and into his chest to hold you tightly. “I know I don’t always know how to help you feel better or what to say, but I want you to know I’m always here for you no matter what, okay?”

Yunho was an early riser. He liked waking up early to get a run in before he started his day. So imagine his surprise when he woke up to find you still awake from the day before. He leaned against your doorframe in his workout clothes, looking at you confused. “What are you still doing up? It’s seven in the morning.” You just put your phone down and shrugged, a yawn escaping your lips. You knew exactly what it was, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Yunho. The pharmacy hadn’t been able to fill your meds yet this week and you could feel a hypomanic episode coming on. Yunho was somewhat aware that you had bipolar type II because he knew you took medication every day, but he didn’t really understand what it was like if you were off your medication. Your thoughts had been racing since early that day, and you’d been going nonstop since you got home from work, cleaning your whole bedroom from top to bottom. Yunho looked at you quizzically, not convinced. “I just can’t sleep,” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either. He looked worried for you. Ever since you moved in together, Yunho was like a big brother to you, he was always concerned about your mental health and making sure you were taking care of yourself. “Alright, if you’re not gonna sleep, at least keep me company on this run.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you up out of your warm comfy bed with many a complaint from you. But you couldn’t deny that the idea of a run sounded nice to get some of your energy out. You pushed him out and shut the door behind him so you could pull on some shorts and a hoodie with some sneakers, and he met you at the door with two full water bottles. The two of you kept an easy jogging pace and got to watch the sun come over the horizon, which was really beautiful. By the time you got back, you could finally feel tiredness seeping into the back of your mind. When you woke up from your couple hour nap on you and yunho’s shared couch, he was freshly showered with wet hair in a hoodie and sweats playing on his playstation. You sat behind him and leaned on his back; cheek squished against his shoulder. “Feeling well rested?” you felt the reverberations of his chuckle through his back. “A little bit.” you yawned. “Thanks for making me go running with you, I couldn’t sleep because the stupid pharmacy hasn’t been able to refill my meds this week and I've been feeling so manic.” You explained. He reached around and placed a hand on your knee. “You could’ve just told me, you know I’m always here to help you. I know I don’t always know what to do but I’m always here for you bubs.” 

Yeosang is insanely empathetic, so there’s no hiding from him. The moment the two of you moved in together you realized he was always going to notice every little moodswing. It took some time before he became good at dealing with them, because at first he was far too shy to approach you about it, so he just sat idly by and worried about you whenever you got sad. After some time, he got braver, sometimes knocking gently on your door with a warm cup of tea and your favorite chocolate. After a while, you guys finally became friends, and Yeosang decided he wasn’t going to let you just suffer in silence, so he would invite you out with your other mutual friends and try to get you out of the house, even against his own introverted nature, just to get you to have some fun. But sometimes, there were really hard days, where you could hardly drag yourself out of bed. Even still Yeosang was right there beside you with a cold glass of water and some funny videos on his laptop to watch with you until he could get you out of bed. He knew everything was a matter of baby steps on your depressive days. And on manic days, like today, he was always there to listen to every racing thought, there to help pull you back to reality when you got too excited, and remind you to eat, shower, and take your meds. Yeosang even put a big calendar on the fridge with all of your therapy dates and medication refill times so you wouldn’t forget. He was your rock. Today, he was away at work, so you were trying your best to stay stable while you were alone. You were so ecstatic when you finally heard the front door open, you ran down the front hallway, sliding on the hardwood floor in your socks into Yeosang’s arms, giggling all the while. He gave you a big hug, patting your hair. You were so grateful for him.

You and your roommate San had made a little trip to Ikea to get a new vanity for your bedroom, and he had agreed that he would help you put it together. You had been slowly redecorating your room for the past few months now, and you were quite happy with the way it was coming along. The new vanity was just one final piece that you needed, along with a new bed frame and a couple of posters you had already ordered. You and San were dumping out the contents of your old vanity one drawer at a time, making piles of what you did and didn’t need to keep, as you hadn’t cleaned it out in as long as you should’ve. It had been probably 6 months or longer since you had cleaned out the vanity, and some of the makeup in it had probably expired by now, so San was checking the expiration dates on each product and making piles of what was still good and what was bad. You were going through other junk drawers including perfumes and skincare and doing the same. Suddenly you heard a gasp from San. You looked up to find a small bag in his hands, a bag you unfortunately recognized. “Y/n… What is this?” San muttered, a waver in his voice. It was a bag you used to keep razor blades in, and you hadn’t used them in a very long time, but you had never gotten around to disposing of them either since you had honestly forgotten about them. “Sannie, it’s not what it looks like, I promise i’ve been clean for a long time.” He met your eyes, and you swear you saw his eyes watering just slightly. “You promise?” “I swear. I’ll throw them away right now.” He wipes his eyes and stands, marching over to your bathroom. You follow behind him, and he dumps the contents of the bag into the toilet. He gives the blades a little wave before flushing them down. “Fuck those guys.” “Agreed.” “Promise me you’re okay, though?” “I promise, Sannie. “ He pulls you into a big hug.

Your roommate Mingi had brought you along to a party to get you out of the house. You didn’t mind it, you enjoyed parties, but since you had agreed to be the designated driver, you were holding back from drinking tonight. That didn’t stop you from dancing and having fun with Mingi and the rest of his friends. As the night continued on, you found yourself in a little group with Mingi and some of his other guy friends. Mingi was a little buzzed, and he was getting loud. Some of his friends were joking about Mingi being emo, and he loved that. “I love emo. I wanna be emo.” He slurred just a little bit, and you smiled at him. One of his friends looked over to you and sneered. “Your friend here is already emo, though.” The guy said. You were confused, there wasn’t anything inherently “emo” about your appearance, you were wearing a black sweater, but that was the extent of it. The guy and his other friend snicker, before the other guy lets out a joke. “Wrist check, am I right?” You were appalled. You had no idea how they knew about that, unless one of them saw your scars by accident when you hadn’t noticed. You were pissed. Mingi was just confused. You stormed off without a retaliation. You went out into the front yard to get some fresh air, and Mingi stumbled after you. “What happened? What does that mean?” He slurred. “Don’t worry about it Mingi. They were just being mean,” you explained. “I’m confused.” He whined. You turned to him and just looked at him with a pained expression. He really had no idea. “Look, Mingi, they were making fun of me for having self-harm scars.” You explained. His jaw dropped; he was shocked. He grabbed your hand. “I'm so sorry, Y/n, I had no idea. Those guys are assholes. I should go in there and-” “Mingi, no. It’s over now. Let’s just not hang out with those guys anymore.” “Deal. Are you okay? You don’t- you don’t do that anymore, do you?” He sounded concerned, like he had suddenly sobered up in the last few seconds. “I’m okay. It’s been a long time, but I'm doing better now. I just have old scars now, so now all I have to deal with is stupid people.” You told him. “That's good. I’m proud of you. And next time I’ll beat anyone’s ass that mentions them.” He grabs your hands in both of his and leads you back into the party. 

It was nearly two weeks before halloween, and you and wooyoung were in a rush to find the perfect costumes for a party you were both attending. Wooyoung, as your best friend and perfect roommate, was trying to convince you to wear something sexy and revealing to impress this guy you knew would be attending the party. He had helped you pick out a somewhat skimpy angel costume, a cat costume with more leather than you knew what to do with, and a cop with a quite short skirt. Honestly you felt a little ridiculous. Wooyoung was trying on all sorts of scary masks and hyping you up about your costumes, but you were worried about how you’d look in them. You found your way to the dressing room while Wooyo looked through various prop weapons. You breathed in deep and let it out, looking over the costumes Wooyoung picked out for you. You know he just wanted to help you look hot, but you of all people definitely weren’t going to look like the models on the packages. Your body just didn’t look like that. As you pulled on the first costume, a short white dress with cute little angel wings and a little angel halo headband, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. It looked alright, but the dress didn’t fit quite right. It didn’t lay the way it was supposed to and it rode up in certain places and it just didn’t look the way it was meant to. With a huff, you pulled the dress back over your head and moved on to option two. It was a leather catsuit with some cat themed accessories. You pulled on the catsuit, but it was the same thing as the dress. It just didn’t look right. Something about your body looked off. Something was wrong, but you couldn’t place your finger on it. You felt tears prick at your eyes as you pulled the catsuit off, getting ready to pull on the third costume. It was a short cop dress, and you just couldn’t stand the way your legs looked in it. At this point, you were really upset, and you hiccuped out a sob. You covered your mouth with your hands, hoping Wooyoung wouldn’t hear, but to no avail. In seconds, he was knocking on the dressing room door, worried. “Y/n?” Are you okay?” He called out for you. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m almost done.” You told him, but your voice was thick with tears. “Are you crying? Let me in.” You sighed but you opened the door for him anyway. He caught a look of the cop costume you were wearing and gave you a once over. “Woah. You look hot. Why are you crying, babe?” He enveloped you in a hug. “I don’t feel hot.” You hiccuped into his shoulder. He hummed in understanding. “I get it.” He placed his chin atop your head. “Your brain is telling you one thing, but I just want you to know you look so incredibly beautiful and this costume would totally kill any man who saw you in it, including me.” “Thanks, Wooyo. I just don’t think I’m confident enough to wear this kind of costume yet. They’re cute and all, but not for me.” “Then does that mean we can wear one of those stupid cheesy couples' costumes?!” He grinned at you. “Fine, Wooyoung.”  

You wake up with a splitting headache. You immediately regret drinking as much as you did last night. It was fun while it lasted, but it had horrible consequences this morning. There was a cold bottle of water and ibuprofen on your nightstand, probably courtesy of your angel of a roommate and designated driver from last night, Jongho. You down half the bottle with the ibuprofen and try to sit up out of bed while the room spins. Suddenly, you feel the urge to vomit, so you rush to the bathroom. You lose all the water you just drank, but your stomach was empty otherwise, so it's just water and bile. You feel tears prick at your eyes. You hate throwing up. You’ve been doing so well in bulimia recovery for so long and this feels like a setback, you know you can’t help it because you're hungover, but it makes you want to cry. You throw up one more time and let out a sob. The headache only pounds harder against your skull with every heave, until you hear a knock at the door. Jongho shouldn’t have to see you in this state. You try to bite back another sob, but he pushes the door open just a bit. “Are you alright? I thought I heard crying?” He questions. “I’m okay. Just hungover.” You sniffle. He pushes the door the rest of the way open and hands you another cold water bottle. “Why are you crying, angel?” He squats down in front of you and gently caresses your face. His hand is cool against your warm face. “I just don’t feel good, Jongie.” You hiccup. You don’t know how to tell him you’re terrified of throwing up. “Why don’t we get some food in you and maybe that’ll make you feel better? Hmm?” He gently grabs your hand and pulls you up from the bathroom floor. He pulls your arms over his shoulder and leads you into the kitchen, setting you in one of the chairs. He even brings the trashcan over to you just in case. He pulls out all the ingredients to make your favorite waffles. “I’m just scared of throwing up. I’ve been doing so well for so long and I’m so scared this is gonna set me back.” You explain once the room stops spinning. Jongho sets down the spatula he’s holding. “I get that. I just want you to know I see how well you’re doing and I’m here for you. We can get through this together. You can do this; I know you can.” He sets down a plate of warm chocolate chip waffles in front of you and you feel the nausea leaving you. “Thanks, Jongie.”

[fookinhellcurly]

Larry discussions and why they matter

I got asked today by an older, new fan through the Larry Resources Compilation I made (also posted on Reddit):

"I am genuinely curious, though, like….. why does this matter?"

As a previous chill fan (a directioner, and a larrie, apparently god my brain gets foggy sometimes lol) who barely recounts my own Larrying back in the day (college was a whirlwind and a fever dream to me lol sorry) and came back after Liam's passing, I, myself, have consumed all these Larry information only recently. But from the get go, I knew my convictions.

There might be new ones here who'd come across my blog, so I thought I'd share my answer here as well. I ended up making a bulleted list, and it was the best way I thought I could address the question + the extra notes they left in their comment:

—

Baby larries and misinformation: Most baby larries likely learned about Larry through edits on YouTube, TikTok, or Instagram reels. They then decided to dive deeper, which led them down the Larry rabbit hole and eventually to Reddit and Tumblr. However, much of what’s on social media is taken out of context. There’s a lot of misinformation being spread (especially from bluegreeners), which is part of why non-larries in the fandom get annoyed with us. Some fans take things to extremes without understanding the reality of what H and L are going through. This is why it’s crucial to encourage research and healthy discussions. New information (in a sense that we might have failed to discuss it before; recent example is this post I made about Harry's lyric change to "Louis ONTO my drawers" which happened in 2020) is discovered—or debunked—daily, so having a platform to share and discuss these findings is vital. This Larry research I made is extensive, yes, but TONS of information have been scrubbed from the internet for unknown reasons (i.e, about babygate). Some people are actively trying to bury the truth about Larry. Without blogs and accounts archiving this data over the past decade, we wouldn’t know half of what we do today. My goal here is to make navigating 15 years’ worth of information easier.

The bigger picture: So, what’s the point of all this? In my opinion, it’s not just about proving a point. It’s about understanding the awful and harsh realities of an industry that profits off our support as fans while exploiting the very people we admire. It’s about acknowledging that there’s more to H and L than the clips we see online. They were just kids with dreams who were abused and manipulated by their management. They had to fight to maintain their identities while achieving their goals. It’s heartbreaking to realize that despite progress, the queer community still faces immense barriers (extra: I read the summary of Rock Hudson's battle back in the day—it's a perfect example of how we cannot trust the narrative media feed us). H and L have spent years signaling and coding, trying to break through their closet, and only us Larries could see the signs. Meanwhile, the media and management continue to box them into heteronormative narratives. It honestly breaks my heart seeing Harry get accused of queerbaiting and Louis forced into this Louis Tomlinson™ laddy-lad image, a far cry from the vibrant, flamboyant, happy young man he used to be (his words: "He were a lot sweeter, this lad"). To be clear, I love Lou the way he is but I agree to what this person said, I wish we had seen how the grown-up version of 2010-2012 Louis.

The denials: If HL had cut this shit from the beginning. If they had explicitly denied that their relationship was, in fact, not real (No, they have not straightforwardly denied it because they always redirect or play with words when asked in front of the camera; and that includes L's denial this year), we would have accepted it. But they didn't. THEY fed us all these things to pick on for the past few years. The songs (god, the songs) and the parallels, the use of blue and green (they know what those colors mean to us—they would not use them lightly if they want us to not believe), the coded clothing and the signaling, the acts of defiance, etc.—what are all those for? It's crazy to think that H and L would "bait" us just for the sake of sales.

Finally, the point of not letting the "ancient texts" die and keeping track even in the present: You see, all of us probably became genuinely invested because of the bigger story. In hindsight, everything MAKES SENSE, but in real-time unfolding during the 1D days, when H and L were fighting the most, it was harder to make sense of these things. But because we have these timelines, analyses, and proofs that sometimes even take years to be established (i.e., the McDonald's x Carpool Karaoke 2015 where HL supposedly shared the milkshake—but the clip didn't see the light of day until 2020 came around), we finally get to make sense of a decade+ worth of legitimate stories. As you would observe, there would always be a couple of larries who would ask, "Why do you think they're still together when they haven't been seen in public for so many years?" I want to add my answer from this post:

"[...] I’ve established that being a larrie, like a true larrie and not a chill larrie, you really have to be strong with your beliefs. I know those two try to keep their peace for as long as they want to. And I know we’d probably still get more denials and stunts along the way, but we have to remember that those shouldn’t invalidate the TONS of proofs/receipts that already exist, nor ignore the signals those two send in return when they have to be involved in bs narratives fed to the public. […] There’d be days when it’d be harder to defend HL themselves even bcs of their actions and words that could hurt larries - so on our end, we don’t necessarily have to tolerate that and we’re allowed to be mad or doubt what we’re supposed to be fighting for (not doubting them per se; just the situation and the cause). Though again, for me, by the end of the day, I know there are million other reasons why we cannot bend the truth (and we larries ourselves have always strived to stay analytical and logical when dealing with proofs), and I’d still choose to hold on bcs I know they still need us to believe - even if they decide to keep things quieter like this year or not come out at all."

If no one keeps track of these things (because as subtle as they are, HL still drops hints even once in a blue moon), other people would probably fail to notice them. But they are still just as loud, though not in a way that some 'fans' appreciate (like comparing now with the 1D days when, of course, you’d see them in the same room most of the time). And that’s when hate comes in. Because they fail to see it, they decide to 'overwrite' the past—when the closet was glass and when HL was free to show us their truth. They try to erase the fact that Harry and Louis were forced into a closet: one being labeled as the charming, womanizer man who likes 'girls of a certain age,' and the other as the laddy-lad guy who was a partygoer and then entered fatherhood.

This is the reason why, even though the topics could be repetitive, I personally try to engage, help out, and contribute—it also encourages others to do so. We need each other to keep believing despite the BS we’re thrown. And while Larry has stopped signaling as much, I know they truly appreciate Larries who support them on the sidelines.

There are so many more things my brain probably wants to say, but I literally just woke up when I started writing this lol. I hope that made sense. Again, I am not mad or trying to be rude, but I think these things needed pointing out. ♡

—

That's it. Sums up my beliefs and my convictions as a larrie.

[confuselibrarian]

Haunting Adeline is bad.

It only gained hype because of the controversial themes because the construction is crap. A poorly written book with shameful dialog and characters shallower than the drain in my sink. The book makes an effort to be profound, showing how cruel and dark the world is, but in the end it tries so hard that it's more like those One Direction fics kidnapping Y/N. Adeline herself as the protagonist seems to have come straight out of a Wattpad self insert. It's also unnecessarily long. There's no justification for this story being 600 pages long, let alone a sequel. If you take away all the unnacessary bullshit, the whole duology could fit into a single book.

Such a long book, but it still fails to introduce us to the basic concepts of the characters. So many things are poorly explained that they basically expect readers to accept just “because...”? For example, Zade's motivation? I finished the book without understanding his backstory and why he would go so far to do what he does. “That's because he's angry about the existence of child trafficking”, congratulations Zade, you're a normal person who is outraged by child violence, so what? One person finding abuse wrong (which in itself is ironic when it comes to Zade, given what he does to Adeline) isn't enough to justify everything he does. He ends up being the author's puppet for action and smuty kinky scenes, rather than a complex character.

Speaking of kinky, I see a lot of people (including the author apparently) who don't know the basic difference between fetish and abuse. All fetish and kinks, including cnc, needs to be done in a healthy, safe and consensual way. These are the basics of the practice and are non-negotiable. Practically all the sex scenes in this book that take place between Adeline and Zade fall into the dub-con (dubious consent) spectrum. Whether it's because he's forced himself on her, coerced her, manipulated her, etc., from the lightest to the heaviest, all the sex between them has a non-consensual aspect in addition to the disparity of power in the relationship that was not negotiated between them. So you can't use the excuse that it's a fetish so anything goes, because that's simply not the reality. If you let go of the dark romance for a second and actually research how this works, you'll quickly realize that the way this book deals with fetish is extremely off the mark.

Lastly, there's the issue of human/child trafficking. I see a lot of people criticize how graphic the scenes are, which for me wasn't a problem, but very few people talk about how the vision portrayed in the book refers to a line of thought that connect whit the crazy right-wing american conspiracy theorist mentality . Whenever there was a scene involving violence against children, I had the impression that H.D Carlton had studied the subject on the QAnom forum. Anyone who does the slightest bit of research on the subject knows that the main victims of this kind of violence are not the white suburban American children of the traditional family, as we see repeatedly portrayed through Zade's missions. It's not a black van that springs up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood and steals away a beloved child while their parents cry copiously over the loss. Those who are targeted are usually non-white, disabled children from very poor areas who are generally forgotten by the system. Not to mention that the book kind of implies that most of the guys involved in the dirty work of kidnapping the children are Mexicans and mestizos. These are the people we see Zade, the white guy, fighting against to save the day. Also I'm not Jewish so I can't say 100%, but the way the author constructed the secret society plus all the strange and conspiracy-oriented things in the book gave me an anti-Semitic vibe. The secret society in this book is literally a ctrl+c ctrl+v of Blood Libel. Maybe I'm going too far with my interpretation, but considering that the author literally had to put a disclaimer at the beginning that she has no connection with conspiracy theory groups, I don't think I'm so wrong to notice parallels.

[crepesuzette2023]

I dont think I've ever heard the take that girl seems to be about Paul, I mean, it makes sense absolutely, but can you expand some more?

Gladly, Anon.

Rob Sheffield (Dreaming the Beatles) said he thinks Girl is about Paul in this episode of @anotherkindofmindpod. The episode is actually an in-depth discussion of In My Life, but Girl came up a number of times, since it's also on Rubber Soul.

I thought Sheffield's statement was interesting, and not in a silly “John saw Paul as a girl” kind of way.

Summarizing mercilessly, and taking a few steps back before returning to Girl:

RS argues that Rubber Soul marks a moment when the Beatles’ songwriting moved from a commercial/craft perspective towards a more open/confessional/personal tone, In My Life being an example of this, with John examining his feelings for all his friends and lovers, and singling out a new kind of love that transcends the loves he’s known before. According to RS and the hosts, In My Life is not only addressed to Paul (I personally feel it could also be about Julian, or about both; as someone who writes, I really feel the “a piece of art is never about just one thing” argument)— it also, by summoning a group of dear people and openly expressing his feelings for them, emulates Paul, who, in John’s eyes, is the more extrovert and socially comfortable of the two. The song is a two-fold tribute.

Girl, still according to RS, forms a matched pair with In My Life, because it, too, concerns complex and intimate emotions; in this case being unsettled by a complex, alluring and confusing person (Paul/the girl). It's a non-generic, specific, highly personal song you wouldn't have found on earlier albums. (You Won’t See Me is Paul’s reply to John.)

Whether you agree with these interpretations or not (by the way, instead of trusting my summary, it’s probably a better idea to listen to RS and the hosts in their own words), I’m happy to see the acknowledgment of the depth of John and Paul's relationship.

RS also makes a beautiful point about If I Fell (which, as we know, John saw as a continuation of In My Life): That John and Paul, as always, tell the truth about each other by the way they sing together.

(Cue the If I Fell/marriage vows quote from Gould’s Beatles bio).

Ian Leslie (no introduction needed) was more direct in his “Hidden Gems” episode on @onesweetdreampodcast. He stated he believes that If I Fell was written for Paul, commemorating their Paris ‘honeymoon’.

And look—people are free to go as far as they want in how they interpret all this, but I personally feel it liberates and elevates the discussion of their songwriting and relationships to include the romantic love or friendship or X or [redacted] or 'tender and tempestuous' but ‘not sexual as far as we know’ relationship between John and Paul as one of its many possible inspirations.

It just feels silly to me to ignore it or act all offended at the mere suggestion.

And when RS writes in Dreaming the Beatles “For John, Paul was the boy who came to stay; for Paul, John was the song he couldn’t make better,” it just feels right.

My two cents.

P.S. When I'm inclined to accept that Girl is about Paul, I immediately want to ask follow-up questions. Because this is a song about a fraught relationship, right? In what sense did John try to leave Paul? In what sense did Paul promise him the earth and cry? I know it doesn't have to be literally true, but some extrapolation, please? This didn't happen in the episode—obviously, since its focus was another song, In My Life. PPS: I wrote this in a bit of a hurry so feel free to get back to me for clarifications, etc.

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

Little Menace

Shang Qinghua was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown, and this time it wouldn't be because of the double workload they had saddled him with after the peace between demons and humans.

Does anyone know how to do their taxes? Really? 

Dismay aside from being the only one who had a minimum of logistics skills, Shang Qinghua was now regretting his fortune and, above all, certain choices he had made in the past, in another life.

Beside him, Liu Qingge said, "Is it them? What happened?"

"They encountered a quarry full of anti-time gems," Shang Qinghua sighed, wondering for the umpteenth time why he thought it was a good idea to create a stone to make one appear younger, in a world where no one is ugly or ages.

It vaguely resembled a subplot with a human milf that Luo Binghe added to his harem, a non-cultivator who kept herself young and beautiful thanks to the timeless gems, and who had therefore attracted the attention of the emperor.

Even he had discarded that plot, although the fans wanted milfs – as if demon women were not worth as milfs – because it was simply ridiculous.  Now, however, his choice came back to bite his ass.  He didn't believe that anti-time gems were still a thing. Nor that Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu all had to end up in a cave owned by the original milf, and thus be reduced to two children aged six and eight.  If that was a wife plot, why were both rejuvenated? He had been wondering about it for hours, but the System, the asshole, was silent, completely useless. 

"The anti-time gems? Hadn't they disappeared?" the cultivator asked with a frown, and he sighed resignedly, "It seems that Shen-shidi and his husband were lucky enough to find the last strand that still existed." "We should destroy them all. It's dangerous." "If you want to try, go ahead, shidi. But you risk reducing yourself like that too," Shang Qinghua pointed out. The demons themselves sent their elders to extract the gems so as not to risk being reduced to babies in swaddling clothes, which the milf also did: she bought the decrepit slaves and then sent them to dig in the cave. Once they were all young and strong again, she resold them at three times the price she had paid for them—a real businesswoman.  "We can't do nothing! How long will they stay like this?" He quickly calculated, "The exposure lasted a few hours, they did not ingest the dust of the gems or cut themselves... If all goes well, a few months." "Few months? Are you fucking kidding me???!" He rubbed his ear, "Don't scream, shidi! It's not my fault!" In reality, as the author, it was partly his fault. He had decided that it was better to ingest the powder of the gems to make the effect last longer and that if you were only exposed, the effects varied from a few hours to months.  The milf's touch of genius was to sell the slaves far, far away so that no one could come to her when suddenly there were old men in bad shape in place of the young people they had bought.   Now that he thought about it, it was fortunate that he didn't include it. Using it only for useless papapa scenes and relegating it to the harem once it had its usefulness would have been such a waste for such a woman. Liu Qingge's tone meanwhile had frightened baby Luo Binghe, who had started crying. Shen Qingqiu, though a little stiff, had begun to console him, giving him his handkerchief to wipe his face. "Thank you, pretty gege!" Luo Binghe thanked him, and Shen Qingqiu blushed. An honest blush took over his whole face. Even as a child, he was a total loser. Liu Qingge had meanwhile become impatient, "I will take them to the sect leader. He will surely know what to do and..." A loud smack interrupted him. The cultivator had made the mistake of getting too close to Luo Binghe, probably to grab him by the scruff of the neck and take petty revenge, but Shen Qingqiu had been quicker and had beaten his hand with a fan, looking at him like scum. "Don't touch him, weirdo!"

[matan4il]

Update post:

In Hezbollah's rocket attack on Israel's north today, one person was killed and at least 9 are injured. All are from Thailand. I got to guide groups of students from Thailand, who come to study agriculture in Israel, and as part of their degree, they also work in the fields. They were so lovely, and they absolutely don't deserve this, for having tried to better their lives and the lives of those around them. Which is making me think of this vid from Oct 7 that I just can't forget of a Thai man, who was murdered by Hamas terrorists, footage I will never forget for as long as I live. You could argue that Hezbollah's rockets didn't mean to target Thai nationals, but the terrorists on Oct 7 KNEW that they were torturing (they took their time sadistically toying around with the man in the vid) and murdering non-Israelis. They KNEW they were kidnapping non-Israelis. And they still did it. Remind me, which part of Palestine is Thailand supposedly occupying?

On Thursday, in an independent shooting terrorist attack in Eli, two Israelis were murdered. They have been identified as 16 years old Uriah Hartom, and 57 years old father of three Yitzchak Zeiger. The Palestinian terrorist was identified as a Palestinian police officer, affiliated with Fatah (the party which currently rules the Palestinian Authority), not Hamas. He had previously been imprisoned by Israel twice, for dealing in illegal arms. The owner of a hummus diner, located near the gas station where the terrorist attack took place, was by chance on a break from his reserves service in Gaza. He heard the shots, came out, fired loosely at the terrorist to attract him away from civilians, went back inside, took a better shooting position, and finished the terrorist off.

A 57 years old man from the Israeli city of Ashkelon was stabbed during an independet terrorist attack in the area of Hebron on Saturday. The terrorist has been arrested.

Globally, we continue to see a rise in antisemitic incidents, including violent ones. Over the course of the past few days alone, we got an attack in Switzerland (in Zurich, where a Jewish man was stabbed on Saturday eve. The 15 years old terrorist was arrested by Swiss police. Please remember this for the next time you see Israel being vilified for arresting teenage terrorists), an attack on a Jewish man exiting a synagogue in Paris, France on Friday eve (Israeli TV reports that the terrorist called the victim, "a dirty Jew") and a Muslim former patient who shot his Jewish dentist to death, not too far from San Diego in the US (yeah, sorry. I don't buy that the moment a supposedly disgruntled ex patient decides to kill his Jewish doctor just so happens to be a moment when anti-Jewish violence is being justified, normalized and rising everywhere. A part of how antisrmitism, homophobia, racism and other forms of generalized hatred work, is that even when grudges are personal, these forms of hate give the hater socially acceptable terms and tools to openly hurt the person they hate, more than they would have dared to if they had a grudge against someone who wasn't a member of a marginalized group. Apparenntly, I'm not the only one who thinks the antisemitic angle mustn't be left out).

Meanwhile, Israel has arrested the members of a terrorist squad in Hebron, which was inspired by ISIS. They had already managed to produce 100 explosive devices, and we can only imagine how many lives have been saved thanks to these arrests.

This is 33 years old Dennis Yakimov.

He was killed the other day during the fighting in Gaza. Every day, Israeli soldiers are dying there, and Israelis watch the news, and hear their family members mourn them, and cry over the loss. IDK if any words I write here can express the grief, so today I'm just going to share this short vid of Dennis' only daughter, Danelina, speaking at his funeral:

IDK how people can actually think that after the loss, pain and horror of Oct 7, Israelis are putting themselves through this added loss, pain and horror just to see more Palestinians killed. And that's what they mean, every time they ask, "How many Palestinians have to die..." as if the goal was ever dead Palestinians, rather than Hamas being destroyed and Israelis knowing that Hamas could never perpetrate another massacre as it did, also aiming to deter other terrorist organizations such as Hezbollah from trying such a massacre, knowing that if they did, Israel wouldn't relent before they're destroyed, too. I think this kind of question can only be asked by people, for whom we're not really human beings, and the devastating pain that we feel over our fallen and their loved ones, who will never be the same, really doesn't register.

May Dennis' memory be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[alessiathepirate]

Creep 2014

THE CONSEQUENCES OF A SMALL MISTAKE: Josef x fem!reader

Summary: The butterfly effect - the idea that small things can have big consequences. In her case, a small mistake gave her the opportunity to escape death.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

I didn't really plan to write any type of fanfiction or oneshot for this movie, even if I think it's fantastic (including the sequel) and unsettling, but there aren't many works out there for it - so I thought I'd try my best. And after some ideas and motivation, here it is! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)

Warnings: swearing, implied stalking, slightly referenced violence and/or murder, attempted murder

•••

the butterfly effect:

the butterfly effect is the idea that small things can have non-linear impacts on a complex system

or: the idea that the smallest things can have big consequences

°°°

She ran out of coffee. There was none left in the small metal container she usually kept the coffee beans in, and the cheap three in one box was empty as well.

That realization hurt in the morning, especially when she woke up late and knew that she'll be late for work. And the fact that the coffee was gone made the already bad day even worse.

She should've checked it, that's what she told herself as she went through her day without her usual, great cup of coffee. The one they make at her workplace couldn't be called coffee at all and the nearest coffee shop was too far away to go there during her break.

So she had to survive without the coffein she loved.

Such a small thing. A small mistake, a usual occurance - something what can happen to anybody anytime. Yet the consequences of her not checking on the metal container on Sunday were greater than she could've ever imagined.

She was home just before seven. It was already starting to get dark and she was tired. Way too tired to care about anything, to notice the unusual things happening around her or remembering the things she had promised she'd do. She didn't notice the package on her porch, even if the box was big enough to reach past her knees. She walked past it, trying to grab her keys from her bag to open the door.

"You didn't answer my calls..." the voice was so sudden she dropped her keys as her hands shook violently, her eyes no longer tired, but wide open. Her throat felt tight as held onto her bag tightly, her knuckles turning white as she looked around on the porch, examining all the dark corners to decide where to aim with it.

It took a few seconds for her to realize she knew that voice. It wasn't a stranger even if his voice did sound strange from time to time, it was high pitched when he was excited and he was excited at the weirdest moments.

"For fucks sake, you scared the Hell out of me!" she spoke up, her voice rough - then, after she realized how rude she must've sounded, she apologized with a small, tired smile: "I had a long day, I didn't mean to shout at you."

Her expression changed, going back to its exhausted self. She let go of her bag, letting it sit on her shoulder as she crouched down to find her keys.

Then the guy she knew as Josef walked closer to her, showing her which dark corner he was hiding in. He let the shadows draw dark shapes onto his face before he too crouched down, immediately finding the keys she was looking for.

"Thank you." she said as she took them from him, standing back up to open the door.

"It's okay." he was unusually quiet as he observed her every move, even after she stepped inside, leaving the door open for him. "No movie night then?"

She stopped, for a second feeling very much awake as she gently hit her forehead with her hand.

"Fuck, I totally forgot about it." for a moment she looked like she's about to cry. "I'm one poor excuse of a friend." she kicked her shoes off and let her bag fall to the ground as she quickly disappeared into the house - her voice had an unusual pitch to it as she shouted back: "Do you want some tea or something? Hot chocolate maybe? Heck, that's the least I can do - I'm so sorry."

Even in her tired and pityful mood she still knew that in the next few seconds Josef will turn up somewhere - behind her, next to her, in the other room when she leaves the kitchen. He did that a lot, scaring her either as a plan or as an accident. This was the case that time too.

"Hot chocolate's fine." she jumped a little, her heart beating faster as his voice came from directly behind her; she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

Although she said nothing to it, because it had became an everyday thing, she still needed a few moments to collect herself.

"Okay. Give me a moment." she whispered, the sentence having two meanings: Give me a moment to get the hot chocolate done and Give me a moment to collect myself after you scared me.

"Did you order something?" Josef asked as he walked around the kitchen, looking at all the appliences and touching some of them even if he's seen them many times before.

"What do you mean?" she furrowed her eyebrows as she got the mugs ready, not understanding his question. She didn't order anything.

"You have a package on the porch."

"Great." she muttered, her tiredness showing once again. "Must be the wrong address. But whatever, I'll deal with it tomorrow."

She couldn't see him, but she heard his breathing and his steps as she melted some chocolate and poured some milk into the mugs.

" 'You sure?"

Why wouldn't I be?

"Yeah. I've got a movie night to make up for." she smiled as she added some cream to the drinks; she then turned towards him, her smile not disappearing at all even her eyes hurt a bit. "I don't have any popcorn, but we can still watch something if it's okay."

They both looked at the other, neither of them blinking as if they'd like to win a sudden challenge. He tilted his head, examining her posture or gestures - she couldn't tell, but she felt like she's telling him more than she'd like to.

His gaze was strange. Everything was more unusual about him ever since he turned up on her porch. She didn't necessary like it, but she didn't dare to point it out either.

And then suddenly, as if someone just pressed a switch in him, he smiled. More like grined. His whole mood changed in a second - and the oddness of it activated her fight or flight reflex. The fear ran through her fast, it made her shiver and her hands twitch slightly.

She has never been afraid of him before. Maybe she should've - her instincts told her.

"It's okay." his grin stayed and it made her feel like prey. "Let's watch something."

"Yeah." it wasn't more than a whisper for herself to gain her strength back as she watched Josef leave the kitchen - she soon followed him with the mugs. "So- what'll we watch?"

"'Interview with the Vampire'?" she looked at him as she put down the mugs on the coffee table right in front of the TV, and she couldn't help but let out a tired, half-annoyed sigh despite the coldness that ran through her back.

"Again?" she asked with a small, but knowing smile and even if the weird feeling didn't leave her chest, it was still an honest one. "We watched it last week too."

"Please?"

She just shook her head with a weak smile and was already on her way to connect the old DVD player to the TV, and then look for the cheap copy of the movie. She didn't have to look for long. It was right where they left it last week after he had gotten bored and pressured her into taking a walk around the neighborhood late at night.

"All right. Just because I owe you- and you're one of the few people I actually care about."

After everything was set and the first shot appeared on the TV, she finally sat down on the couch and leaned back - both her worry and hot chocolate forgotten as her limbs were finally stretched and resting. That was when she really felt the missing doses of coffein; her whole body felt heavier than usual now that she was past the hard part of the day. Now that she could see the familiar actors and hear the familiar lines; now that she could feel Josef's thigh against her own, she finally started to give up.

It felt too nice and comfortable. She doubted that she can wait out the whole two hours and two minutes - she had seen the Interview with the Vampire so many times she knew everyhing about it by heart - without falling asleep.

But until then, she could talk, to keep Josef entertained. He had to be entertained unless she wanted to wake up to him scaring her and having a heart attack.

"Did you do anything interesting today?" she asked as she slowly sat up to reach her drink.

"Sure. I shot a short film for the collection."

"Well, at least you had a more exciting day then I had." she yawned. "Will you show me some of it? Someday..."

"Someday." maybe if she was more alert, she would've seen the change in his tone and gestures.

She put the mug back down. The movie continued. They stayed quiet.

Unusually quiet.

Josef is very rarely calm and silent. He either has to be in a bad mood or has to be very tired. And as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes she couldn't see any of it.

And then, later, the more tired she was, the more alert he became. His back straightened, but not from the excitement she came to know - from something else, something new; something she hasn't seen before.

Seemingly, he was thinking. She knew it from the way the muscles around his mouth moved. But she couldn't tell what was on his mind. It must've been something big and serious. She didn't dare to ask.

"You know..." her eyes were halfway closed when Josef spoke up. "I really thought you wouldn't care if we missed this movie night."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You're tired."

"So?" she asked. "I'm always the tired one. You simply have more energy. Besides, it's just the addiction - coffee is a pretty strong drug." she chuckled quietly.

"I was thinking, maybe I'll keep you as my friend." if she noticed the dark tone of his voice, she didn't give it away at all.

"Well it's really nice of you to think so Josef, since we've been friends for the last two months." she turned towards him, her lips slightly curling upwards. "But I'll be happy if you keep me."

"I might."

And then soon, she was gone.

Her eyes closed, because she couldn't keep them open any longer and her whole being relaxed; her body didn't feel heavy anymore.

Perhaps she should have been worried. Scared - to fall asleep. But that's not how it went down, she gave up the fight with sleep and even if she lost, that's what saved her life.

The Interview with the Vampire kept on playing on the TV, the light from it made it possible to see in the room. Five minutes went by, then ten. And suddenly her head was resting on Josef's shoulder.

If she was awake, she would've noticed how stiff his posture has become or how he almost moved further away from her. But in the end he stayed and after he worked on his position on the couch, he decided to put aside the knife he had in his hand.

He slightly moved his head so his chin wouldn't touch the top of her head as he found the right angle to examine her from. He had seen her do a lot of stuff. He had seen her cook and clean, go to work and to the store or do whatever she liked to do in her free time - all without her knowledge. He hadn't seen her sleep yet.

She seemed calm, trusting. But then again every single person looks calm in his or her sleep. Trusting on the other hand - not many people would put their trust in him. Only the very naive or stupid ones. But he knew she wasn't stupid, nor naive. She had a decent job, a decent life and she didn't talk to everyone. Yet she talked to him.

He raised one of his hands and took hold of a lock of hair softly. He twisted it around his fingers and then awkwardly petted her head.

There was no fun in killing her in that moment. She was asleep. She hadn't seen the package yet. She hadn't seen the VHS tape he put in it. There wasn't enough fear in her yet.

But then again there was something else. There was trust and perhaps, just perhaps it may be more interesting than fear. It for sure felt nicer than her fear.

He brushed his fingers along the outline of her face as if he'd like to know every single bone or wrinkle. He stayed there and raked his fingers through her hair and smelled it too.

Later he put his knife away.

And after he put her in a more comfortable position on the couch, he went outside to get to the package before she does. He cut it open and after he retrieved the necklace he put in it, he set the rest of it aside. He'll get rid of it before she wakes up.

Maybe if she trusts him this much she'll like it.

If she likes him this much she'll definitely like it.

He sat down next to her on the couch again, his gaze was once on the movie and once on her.

That's what it took her to avoid death.

Her forgetfulness, her addiction and her trust. One simple mistake.

And after unknowingly escaping death, she's got an even clingier and stranger Josef than before.

But then again, it's still better, isn't it?

[teaandmisanthropy]

We had to say goodbye to Snookums a few weeks ago, on August 16, 2024. These are some of the last pictures I have of him.

He was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as a result of (probably) lymphoma and had been losing weight for a couple of months and his digestive system was deteriorating.

He got lots of attention and extra treats at the end of his life, and he lived to the age of fifteen and was a happy, goofy, lazy snugglebug who was full of affection for us and friendly to everybody, including multiple dog acquaintances. He was a devoted, biddable sidekick to the BB (Arwen) (2007-2021) and a wonderful adoptive uncle to Tristana (2020, adopted April 2021-). And despite being a mellow fraidy cat who had always been submissive before, he didn't hesitate to become the senior boss cat and tell off Anubis (who is young and unusually strong and was about half again his size) and actually defended Tristana from Anubis's attempted attacks a few times when he managed to breach containment.

Snookums was my baby, and what you might call my familiar animal or one true cat, from the time we brought him home. He spent three days hiding in a blanket cave in the sauna at our old apartment in Turku and wouldn't eat for over 24 hours, until I finally got him to by feeding him from my hand.

He was afraid of crackling noises and especially plastic bags and loved chasing/ collecting hair elastics and chewing on rubber bands and silicone oven mitts and old wired earbud wires, all of which had to be hidden from him. He loved kisses and his method of kissing was to headbutt you in the head, earning him the nickname "butthead".

He was also the most talkative cat we had ever met when we got him, and used to meet me every time I came home and make a long speech that I referred to as the Kittysburg Address. He purred very loudly and was terrible at cleaning his own claws, which was perhaps partly because he was already missing a couple of the tiny teeth when we got him at age 1.5, but mostly because he was lazy. So he had to have toe gunk cleaned from his claw sheaths basically his whole life and he hated it, but was fundamentally non violent, so the most resistance he ever offered was occasionally squirming in a half hearted escape attempt.

When he was young he also used to wake me up in the middle of the night wanting to play, and I woke up many times back then to find his toys (usually hair bands and silicone oven mitts) in or around the bed. But even when young and irrepressible, Snookums was pretty lazy and spent much more time snoozing and snuggling than the BB, who often ran around bouncing off the walls without him, even though he was her constant companion and playmate.

In later years he got more lazy, as well as becoming more like himself in other ways (snuggly, silly, food-motivated), and he also acquired diabetes, which reduced his energy a lot. But he lived for about six years with his diabetes under control after his diagnosis, and was doing very well recently. The final illness was probably not related to his diabetes.

For many years, actually since he was very young, I used to periodically just start crying while I was holding him in my arms, because I loved him so much. The spectre of losing him someday, even when it was far in the future, was already scaring me. (We got him two years after the death of @waxjism's One True Cat, Lily, so this wasn't out of left field.) Maybe I did some of my grieving in advance. I felt like I didn't have time to grieve right after, but even though the sadness is massive, I have had an easier time adjusting my brain to the new reality than after the loss of past pets. Cornish rexes are very snuggly and affectionate cats and most of them spend a lot of time lying on people's laps, giving out hugs, basically, but Snookums is the only pet I've ever felt was comforting and soothing me just as much with his snuggles as I was soothing him.