#a crackpost

[sweeneydino]

Ahem.

I stayed up making these, you better use them

Only if you want to ofc 😇

[burningblake]

#a summary of that meeting

(insp.)

[maharellasa]

how I imagine this is gonna play out

[talistheintrovert]

Beyond Evil crack 1/?

DILF (in which the D stands for Dongsik)

[heartfullofleeches]

[Scientist Reader stands surrounded by a pile of bodies - holding a single cup]

Scientist Reader: hm....

Yan Henchman: Master! Are we under attack?!

Scientist Reader: no, I am just experimenting. Now, in my hands is a cup of poison

Yan Henchman: ......

Scientist Reader: it is actually a cup full of a mixture of my saliva, sweat, and other... fluids the body produces

[Yan Henchman immediately snaches the cup and downs it's contents, joining their coworkers on the floor. Reader casually strolls over to the bottle of toxins and pours another]

Scientist Reader: thankfully it is not lethal. Onto bigger fish. Care for a drink, my friend?

[Reader offers the cup to the hero who's watched this whole thing happen. Yan Hero remains silent. Amused, reader spits into the cup. Yan hero begins to sweat - fingers twitching as reader places the glass within range]

Scientist Reader: as well all things, it's only a matter of time~

[rosy-crow]

How modern film and TV depicts male characters with Mommy Issues:

“Uhh so, he drinks warm milk and is into older women…”

How FF7 depicts male characters with Mommy Issues (Sephiroth):

“HE WON’T STOP CRADLING HIS MOTHER’S SEVERED LIMBS—“

“ALSO THAT’S NOT EVEN HIS REAL MOTHER. IT’S A FUCKING SPACE ALIEN.”

[violent138]

I think Alfred and Bruce greatly enjoy the many offers they get for the life rights to Bruce's story. They brainstorm what a day in the life of Bruce Wayne without any mention of Batman looks like:

Alfred: "Bruce Wayne is religious about getting sixteen hours of sleep."

Bruce: "Bruce Wayne's secret to success number eighty-seven: revolutionize my workers' productivity, by never showing up to the office and sailing the company yacht."

Alfred: "Bruce Wayne insists on eating healthy meals, with models, every lunch. He spends his time bonding with the children over a shared love of--"

Bruce, straight-faced: "Inspiring people to visit dentists."

[yuanzhous]

true romance

[deadghosy]

Silly crack one shot alastor x stoner male/gn reader

CRACKED OUT

Prompt: Alastor having a stoner boyfriend

Alastor was walking to his room for cane. He hummed a jazzy tune. He was wondering where you have been all day since he hasn’t seen you. He wasn’t concerned, oh no. Cause most sinners in the pentagram know that you are alastor’s significant other.

Alastor reached his door to smell…..weeed? The ZAZAAAA🔥 he covers his nose with his deer ears flat back as he scoffed with a strained smile. He told you not to smoke in his room…but he guessed you had forgotten as he opens the door to see you giggle with glossy eyes.

“Dear?” You kept giggling as Alastor eyes you suspiciously. You turn your head to face him as you look up like a mindless child.

“Are you high?” You just stare at Alastor as he asked you that

“Heyyyy….” You said as you give him a derpy smile. Mostly wobbly at most but you just smiled with a peace sign. Alastor sighs with a soft glare as he opens a window letting out the strong stench in the air. You shiver with a pout.

“Heyyyy…dude…turn the heater on or something..” you said as Alastor ignored you not listening. You pouted more and start to whine about being cold for 5 minutes until Alastor slammed the window shut after the air was gone.

You jolted holding your ear, “babe don’t yelll…” you turned over in your bed as Alastor sighs looking around his room for his trusty cane.

“I’m not yelling my sweet doe..” Alastor said as he puts in a nice air fresher to smell better in here. “And if you are ever hungry..here.” He said

He used his magic to teleport your favorite snack incase you get munchies later.

You squirm as you were stimming happy yo see your favorite snack as you smiled

Alastor couldn’t help but use his magic to tuck you in bed as your eyes were looking heavy.

You snuggle into the covers giggling but then it calmed down a little as Alastor dusted off his coat

“……I think I’m cracked out babe….” You said lastly as you giggled with glossy eyes as you closed them. Alastor just sighs grabbing his cane and leaving.

[blitzsicedcoffee]

In Emberlynn's room she had a lot of horse posters, meaning maybe before she was a monster effer, she was a horse lover. This means that Blitz and her actually might get along if she just chills the fuck out.

In this essay I will....

[sweeneydino]

Only villains like punch chowder.

Reference photos ofc

If you’re curious and haven’t seen it, its Red flags by Tom Cardy, and the Artist is Gabriella Antali! Check out their work :3

The other is Invincible lol

[ridreamir]

Saying something along the lines of "If they can cook, it's an instant offer of marriage for me" and Arven whipping his head around- Cut to montage of aggressively making sandwiches and I mean like throwing ingredients and slamming them together, whooshing you away while you're like "no wait I didn't-" and then going through the chaos of the outfit fitting and cake choosing (it's just bread. It's just bread loafs.) while he's got his little table of sandwich ingredients that he's literally 'cooking' at Well anyway it all abruptly stops when there's a huge stack of sandwiches on a table covered in white cloth for the guests and Arven is standing in a suit fixing his tie and nervously gathering himself, he's just put in the last sandwich pick- This all happens in the span of a few seconds

olive ring

olive slice wedding ring

the diamond is a cherry tomato or something...

Koraidon and Miraidon are the groomsmen and also simultaneously the guests

Mabostiff is the little ring bringer but the other two are just drooling at the sight of them because they're made of food

cue mauling by impossible timeline lizard bikes and that's how the scene ends

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

validation for normal people:

validation for pjo tumblr users:

[talistheintrovert]

Beyond Evil Crack 2/?

all men do these days is be gay, accuse their crushes of murder, eat hot chip, and lie

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

character in agony save me. character in agony. save me character in agony.

[heartfullofleeches]

Self deprecating but thembo reader is so sadly adorable. A kind, caring sweetheart who always has everyone's best interest in mind. but never fails to be shocked and in disbelief when everyone confessed too them-

-

Attendee: Hey, Y/N - Noah called out sick. Do you think you can run the kissing booth tonight?

Thembo Reader: I'll try... sorry in advance in there's no sales

[As soon as they take a seat crowd rolls in. By the end of the night Reader's face and shirt is covered in hundreds of lipstick stains like they're a living canvas. People take out loans to kiss their love fool one more time.

Thembo Reader, looking at themselves in a mirror on the desk: ah.

-

Thembo Reader: Everyone deserves to be loved!

Their yans: including you

Thembo Reader: 😶

Their yans: especially and only you.

Thembo Reader 😶

-

Yan: We're going out to eat tonight. You decide

Thembo Reader: ah...I don't really have a favorite restaurant.... It's up to you

Yan: I forgot the name of the last one we went to. Can you point it out on this map?

[Reader points to their favorite restaurant]

Yan: then that's where where going.

Thembo Reader: ok...

Yan: And you're ordering everything you want as I'm paying and I do mean everything. I will buy the entire menu if I have to

Thembo Reader: ...can I at least tip the waitress? :'(...