#crackposting

[violent138]

I think Alfred and Bruce greatly enjoy the many offers they get for the life rights to Bruce's story. They brainstorm what a day in the life of Bruce Wayne without any mention of Batman looks like:

Alfred: "Bruce Wayne is religious about getting sixteen hours of sleep."

Bruce: "Bruce Wayne's secret to success number eighty-seven: revolutionize my workers' productivity, by never showing up to the office and sailing the company yacht."

Alfred: "Bruce Wayne insists on eating healthy meals, with models, every lunch. He spends his time bonding with the children over a shared love of--"

Bruce, straight-faced: "Inspiring people to visit dentists."

[brainrotcharacters]

Odysseus mewing as he was sniping the suitors

[ruiniel]

just thought about these two solving mysteries together and the sass would be legendary

[formyfanfics]

Im sorry but mdzs crossover with kung fu panda is too much fun.

These two ESPECIALLY.

[mt10lt20]

Incorrect Ace Combat - AC 0/6/7 AU Did quite a few slightly shippy Wingmen's perspectives before, so on the flipside - the Flight Leaders' version.

Cipher: Trig, I don't think you should go out with Count.

Talisman: Agree, he's slightly dodgy.

Trigger: *Ahem*. You both do not have the moral high ground to tell me not to date Count when one of you is seeing a dude who got you court-martialed and the other is seeing a dude who tried to murder you.

Trigger: And, you are both still alive. So.

Cipher & Talisman: Okay, low bar, but fair enough. You win. Enjoy, don't die.

[putrescent-corpses]

“ This site is fun. Some of the photos on here remind me of my boyfriend! ”

↓

[discocactusblogs]

Best part of my life lately is randomly quoting Bill & Ted to my dad and watch as he gets a kick out of it when I say stuff like:

"That's bogus, man." "Party on dudes!" "Waterloo!" "Greetings, my excellent friends." "All we are is dust in the wind, dudes"

And since there's a Circle K up the street, I annoy him with "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K." Every time we go by.

I think what throws him off is I can go from speaking proper English and correct his grammar, then turn around and end my sentences with "dude".

[visionaryoflife]

Should I start... a video career? With my absolutely 100% platonic friend?

[mojonbo]

[bored-cop-man]

That's how long it is you guys I swear he measured it

[brainrotcharacters]

wdym this isn't every grandparent w their grandchild

So vengeance saga

[ofscalesanddatabanks]

❝ do you know where you're going or are you just trying to get lost now? ❞ (ratio to dan heng because i need to be mean to someone but not really)

the dreamscape was, if he was completely honest, the most complicated place he’d ever been to. dan heng prided himself in his uncanny ability to understand the layout of any world he visited, his sense of direction having saved him, march 7th and caelus countless times. but there was something about this place that trumped him every single time, and clearly dan heng was not the only one as the bloodhound family had created something he thinks is called ‘poodle maps’ to improve safety of those visiting, and allow for easier access to all of penacony.

that, at least, was the idea. unfortunately for the bloodhound family and dan heng, the app on his phone was doing little to assist him, at least that’s what the wall that the directions he was informed he needed to merge through to continue on his path was telling him. so, there he stood, hunched over his phone in what march likes to call ‘shrimp mode’, trying desperately to get a different route so he would be able to meet up with the rest of the trailblazers in time.

the rich, condescending tone behind him makes dan heng’s eyebrow raise slightly, turning to see the plus one he was in charge of escorting to the cafe. if this was purely dan heng’s planning that led to this moment, he would be embarrassed at how his directional skills have failed him. but now? frustration flooded his veins, his entire body tense as the beginnings of what would be a migraine starts to beat at his skull like a child beating down a locked door. or caelus that one time he beat the floor after mr yang told him that he wasn’t allow to jump into anymore belobog trashcans. “i know where we are meant to be.” he replies back icily. “however, the one guide I have has failed completely.”

his fingers move to pinch the bridge of his nose, forcing himself to take a deep breath as to not throw his phone at the damned wall. all of this because he wanted to avoid those creepy billboards that follow you around - who’s idea was that anyway? “do you have any suggestions on how to get there that won’t have us being bombarded with those walking… advertisements?” he finally asks, choosing his words more civilly rather than using the ones that came directly to mind.

[maximumeffort69]

[alex-supremacy4]

RAAAAAAHHHHH btw im bored

[off-key-fanfare]

This is so weird. I need this on my blog. Mine now.

Bloconut and Yango chillin on Yurfboard and Bwave while BYorse and Bellaroacha enjoy the bwater

[sweeneydino]

Ahem.

I stayed up making these, you better use them

Only if you want to ofc 😇