#a bunch of people here now who dont know im weird

[the-knife-consumer]

Would I be killed if. Would i

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[snekdood]

when ppl are like "do u know ppl of x minority that ur still in contact with" as a gotcha ig to say ur not actually as open and progressive as you say you are but bud... i dont talk to anyone from my past, lmao, I dont think thats a fair metric to go by quite frankly

[vogelmeister]

I was always under the impression that you are Dutch.... Succesful dutchification

ah huh! i have fooled another one (jk jk).

i am not, i am very much still a humble australian, last time i checked. and unless this ancestry dna test on my desk proves anything otherwise, i remain very much Not Dutch.

[oflgtfol]

literally what the fuck is in the air lately ive had three guys being weird at me within the past three weeks. thats one guy a week. Stop fucking being weird

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[lovers-rck]

you want to get better at kissing, so you ask your friend ellie to give you some tips

fluff ? i guess. modern au

☆

"how do you kiss someone?"

ellie looks at you "what?"

"do you have some tricks?" you asks

the past few months had been rough, the cold winter burned the cheeks of everyone, red noses and big scarfs were the last fashion tendency in campus. for the last few days you were drown in warm and cozy clothes, swimming through hot chocolate and watching christmas movies.

today wasn't the exception. after your last class of the day, you went to ellie's dorm and you both watched a movie in her laptop, ellie handing you her cup of hot chocolate every once in a while.

"what? no" she replies

"then how do you do it?"

"why are you asking me that? you kissed people before"

you roll your eyes "yeah, when i was like twelve years old" you make a disgusted face at remember that "he licked all my face"

ellie laughs

"i dont know. i kiss like everyone else"

"all the girls in my class talk about how you kiss them"

ellie furrows her eyebrows "i kissed one of your classmates?"

you roll your eyes "it would be easier to answer who you didn't kiss ellie"

"what is that supposed to mean?"

"i don't know" you shrug "do you have some tips for me?"

"avoid the excess of tongue"

"ellie!"

"okay sorry!" she says, thinking "i don't know. im not an expert"

"you kissed a lot of girls"

"so?"

"that means that you know something i don't!"

"how to flirt maybe"

you throw a pillow in her face, your cheeks getting red in anger "forget it"

you place your eyes in the movie again, seeing scenes and hearing dialogues but not really paying attention. you were swimming in a pool were the water was made of thoughts and questions.

"i can show you" you heard ellie say after a couple of minutes.

you swim to the top of the pool, getting out. "what?" you replie

she shrugs, her eyes still on the movie "only if you want"

you watch the laptop again, trying to process ellie's words.

"wouldn't that be weird?" you asks

"it doesn't have to be" she says and in her stomach a bunch of butterflys fight eachothers "it's for educational purposes"

you laugh softly, your fingers playing with the seam of your sweather "okay"

ellie finally looks at you "yeah?"

you nod, a funny smile resting in your face "okay" she says and moves the laptop away, making space as she taps her lap "here"

your eyes go wide "what?"

"what? i thought you wanted me to show you"

"yeah" you say "i just didn't know i have to sit in you"

"oh" she says, her cheeks getting red "you don't have to. sorry"

you nod slowly. an awkward silence sits between both of you.

after a few seconds, you start to move towards her. she offers her hand and you take it. your knees swim in the sea of blankets as you follow the path to her body.

your mind is fuzzy when you sit in her legs, her hands resting in your hip "okay" you sigh

"you okay?" she asks, looking in your eyes some answer

"yeah" you nod "you are warm"

ellie laughs and her vibrations resonate in her body, making your body shift slightly. you hold back a whimper with the faint suspicion that you shouldn't feel that way.

"im gonna kiss you now" she announces, you nod "just follow my lead"

"follow your lead" you repeat, your hands in her shoulders "got it"

ellie grabs your face with a soft grip, moving it gently to her lips.

you take a deep breath when for the first time ever she places her lips over yours. she leaves them there for a couple of seconds, warming your own before continuing. you feel her other hand caressing your waist over your tick hoddie.

ellie's kiss is soft and sweet, her lips moving against yours with such tenderness. you try to follow her, frustrated with your own inexperience "relax" she murmurs "no one is rushing us"

you try to relax. you direct your hands towards her neck, unconsciously caressing her skin with your thumb and gaining a few shivers on her part. you laugh softly, breaking the kiss as ellie laughs too "you got me there" she says, her breath hitting your lips "you want to keep going?"

you smile against her lips as you realize that you both were talking in whispers, like children sharing a secret "yes" you whisper, and this time you start the kiss.

you feel more confident now, opening your mouth a bit. ellie takes that as an invitation and turns the kiss in something deeper, moving her hand to your jaw.

you shiver as you kiss her back the same way, this time more hungry, less delicate. ellie handles your face the way she wants, moving it to the side to deepen her assault on your mouth.

you feel your breath getting louder as the seconds pass, her grip getting stronger in your body. you shift in her lap, your chest against hers , chasing that proximity and more.

the moment ellie slips her tongue in your mouth you moan softly, breaking the kiss "sorry" you murmur, completely embarrassed

"too much?" she asks, placing a strand of hair behind your ear.

you shake your head "i just didn't expect it" you replie "what should i do if someone wants tongue?"

ellie ignores the needle of jealousy that pinch her at thinking about someone else kissing you "it's up to you. if you like kissing with tongue and the other person too then go ahead"

"i don't know if i like it" you make a face "it's kinda weird"

on impulse, ellie replies "do you want to keep trying?" you look at her "to see if you like it, i mean" she adds, awkward.

you hide a smile and nod, feeling ellies mouth the very next second, wasting no time.

this time she does the tongue thing again and you decided that you like it. it's all wet and warm, and a bit weird at first, but ellie plays with your mouth in a way that makes you melt.

her hands navegate over the waist of your hoddie, trying to move you closer to her. you hug her by the neck, your fingers ghosting over her hair.

in the kiss, a weird feeling invades you. you feel weird, weird of kisssing your friend like this, of being sitting in her legs, of liking it. ellie grabs you and touch your face and kiss you and when she touch the exposed skin of your hip you realize that this wasn't a practice anymore.

"ellie" your murmur with agitated breath

and she understands, leaving your lips "sorry" her lips are red and swollen

you make an awkward smile and get off her lap, instantly missing her warm essence. you see how ellie plays with her fingers, nervous

you watch the laptop, the movie still on. outside is snowing. you feel warmth in places that you shouldn't.

"how did i do it?" you ask playfully, trying to lighten the atmosphere

ellie catch your intention and shrug her shoulders, making a funny face "i had better"

you laugh and push his shoulder lightly, pulling the blankets off her bed "i say the same thing"

"yeah, i bet that boy from when you were twelve kissed you better" she jokes and you throw a pillow to her face one more time.

[risingsunresistance]

would you believe me if i said this is skyblock fanart 😭

explanation below for anyone interested. it's a bit long 🐖

basic explanation for people who dont go here. or the tldr: the rift is a separate dimension in hypixel skyblock where reality and time itself do not function the same. the other npcs tend to take on different forms in there. this is my interpretation of what might happen to techno if he were to travel into the rift based on some other theories about the place and my own headcanons for him

less basic explanation for the rest of you: ok so. first thing to get out of the way, the rift isnt completely separate from the main reality. SOME of your own thoughts and feelings influence the way you exist in the realm and the way the realm itself behaves. not very many people seem to take on forms ENTIRELY divorced from themselves, save for maybe enigma (we dont know who he was originally, if he was anyone at all)

but i have a theory backed up by absolutely nothing that your rift form is mostly influenced by three different things: your inherit magic, your ability to control and manipulate that magic, and your overall stability. stability will look different from person to person and you dont always know if someone is stable or not just by talking to them. even something as simple as a phobia might change them drastically. still, the rift is unstable itself, so sometimes people get altered horrifically even though they were perfectly fine

my main points of reference for this are that some of our most altered characters are some who check all these boxes, and some who are relatively normal dont check any of them. lathrop/porhtal is split into a bunch of eyes and has one human-looking form that sits motionless at the wither cage and doesnt speak. we know he was incredibly magical, eventually got a great grip on said magic, but was also very very unstable. the wizard is very magical, is a master of said magic, and is pretty well put together. he is nearly unchanged in the rift. barry is the same as the wizard but went a bit nuts before he left, so in the rift he seems just a bit... off

on the opposite side of things, maddox is someone who we are told has ZERO magic in him. the only thing that changes in the rift is the fact that his helmet is red now. kat has never shown us any magic and seems to be pretty normal, so she's also just a different color palette in the rift and happens to have a weird job

anyways back to techno. (btw if you're reading this and happen to not be a regular here this is a mix of headcanons and "canon" but im treating it ALL as real and true facts for the sake of this drawing ok). he could be one of the most magical people here... but he has no idea how to use any of it on command. if you asked him if he possessed any magic, he would say no. his healing ability, while it is VERY strong, is passive, and he was only able to gather magic during the resistance fight with the help of the wands we were given. but he was able to gather a lot of magic during that fight, concentrate it, and release it all on his own. not many people could handle that. he also worships the blood god and has its blessing, and has some connection with spirits in the form of the voices / chat / whatever you wanna call them. there might be even more to him, who knows

so that's already a setup for disaster, but what about his stability? well he's constantly followed by a chorus of thousands of voices all screaming at him and god itself might be hanging around in that mix, led a war against the server staff and a dictator that lasted for 2 years skyblock time, and did the whole potato war thing which was ~70 years server time iirc. i wouldnt really call him stable KFJHG

so what you end up with is a very violent beastly thing, nearly unrecognizable save for the fact that he's still a pig (my first point, you dont become a COMPLETELY different thing under most circumstances). i think he's entirely out of control of himself and would not remember a trip to the rift. a stability elixir might help him in terms of being more aware of himself (i think sirius really downplayed what that potion does lmao it's not just a fun drink, he wanted to guarantee himself some control over his mind while he was conducting his "business" in the rift) but there's no saving the physical form

i wanted him to be beastly to mimic what happens to "dante" in the rift (the memory of dante, it's complicated. but dante and bacte are most likely two different people who are also the same person). yeah he was a big slime in the overworld, but now he's more monstrous. he also doesnt speak, he might not have any idea what's going on. same could be said for techno in a way. of course this is related to dante, what else would you expect from me :P i want to see them fight at the colosseum so bad...

------------

but anyways THIS WAS SO FUN AAAAAUGH IM SO GLAD I FINALLY GOT THROUGH THIS. MY IPAD FINALLY DIED AFTER AN ENTIRE DECADE IN THE MIDDLE OF LINING IT AND I HAD TO CONTINUE ON A NEW TABLET WHEN I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE DRAWING WITHOUT A PEN... THIS DRAWING WAS CURSED KJFDHGK

here's a version without chat and the blood god so you can just see the big hog

and here's my old concept from july of last year for comparison :P

initially in the post for the old sketch i said he was based on what i think would happen if he got a hold of some sulphur. i actually think that would be about the same as his rift form because sulphur seems to do very similar things under certain circumstances. always corrupts your form, can sometimes make creatures MUCH larger (matriarch, kuudra, magma boss), heightens your magic (mage outlaw), and can make you incredibly violent (barbarian duke)

bye i hope i tricked someone into reading a really long skyblock theory post expecting more info about techno FKJHG

[omegaversereloaded]

What happened to internet music is that now the internet has gone hella mainstream and people are more worried about making marketable music that can be use in tiktoks than to make genuine, earnest and unapologetic music that is truly special to them

I guess i wasnt aware of this because i dont listen to a ton of new music these days :0 im also not on tiktok so idk what's popular on there though i have seen songs i love blow up on youtube recently only to find out it's because theyre a tiktok sound? but god i fucking miss unwashed high as fuck grimes and weird fucking music that lonely little girls like me enjoyed. I miss when popular music had instruments like old r&b piano and i miss cheesy ass black dudes who would sing about buying their girl flowers man i kinda hate trap these days.

Im extremely tired as i ate cake for dinner and passed out watching fallout speedruns on youtube and i have a LOT of misic feelings i dont have the energy to elaborate on rn but i miss old internet music more than anything. Like it's still out there, i know i have soundcloud but man it's not the same.... shit feels kinda barren rn especially since it's harder for creatives to put their shit out there because of the internet becoming a corpo wasteland

ALSO not to sound like a lib but when a real FREAK is out here making music these days i feel like a bunch of 20 year olds dig thru their twt trying to cancel them for old ass shit...... they wont let em cook anymore it's over. Imagine if DMX got popular nowadays instead of decades ago 😭

[noisyghost]

GOD I absolutely agree re:werewolf tropes, especially in romance. I want to read so many werewolf books, but So Many play into pack dynamics/violent werewolf bf/etc etc tropes that it feels nigh impossible to find something that will Hit for me specifically. Do you (or anyone who stumbles upon this) have any recs for werewolf media? Particularly that which is outside of romance as the main plot/genre? (Nothing against romance as a whole, I just don't tend to enjoy it when it's the main focus of a story)

god yeah im the exact same, its why i usually end up gravitating more towards horror werewolves cause at least then i dont normally have to worry about weird alpha boyfriend tropes lol. But that means i dont really have too many media recommendations! I'll put a couple thoughts under the read more, but if anyone has any recs, feel free to reply below 🙏

i don't have any book recommendations bc i havent read a real book in years so most of this will be movies/shows/comics

Being Human (US) is really good in a lot of places (one of my absolute favorite werewolf designs), but the last season really falls into a bunch of those werewolf bullshit tropes so i pretend it doesnt exist lol. i think the good bits outweigh the stupid though! I have also watched the UK version and its. not bad. i just didnt really get into it idk.

The Order 1886 barely feels like a werewolf game even though it is for sure a werewolf game lol. i would recommend just watching a playthru tho cause the gameplay is pretty much nothing but the plot and characters are very cool!!!!

Uhhhh everyone knows van helsing which is an objectively just an ok movie but the werewolves and vampires go so hard i have to like it. Dog Soldiers is also a fun campy flick, and i enjoyed werewolves within but thats more of a mystery than a genuine werewolf movie. Annndddd i did actually like the wolf man 2025 like. its gonna piss a lot of werewolf fans off i think and i know why people dont like it but i think the ideas and themes it presents are really interesting to me specifically! so idk if the individual werewolf enjoyer will like it in the same way i did but i will recommend it if u like werewolves that really lean into the disease/virus aspect of it.

Wilde Life is a webcomic that i really enjoy that is.... werewolf adjacent. I wouldnt really call Cliff a werewolf, more of a shapeshifter, but they sometimes call him a werewolf so its close enough for me to mention it and theres lots of other cool critters and scary bits to make the comic worth recommending.

I dont think Prague Race (webcomic) is officially available anymore but that also had some fun werewolves in it. You can probably find an archive of it if you google the name (the artist's new comic, 'tiger, tiger' is also very good but has nothing to do with werewolves lol)

How to be a werewolf is another webcomic that does do a bunch of the pack dynamic trope but the characters are charming and has some romance but it isn't the primary plot, its more about family than anything. and a female werewolf main character is always a plus!

uhhhh im sure theres more im forgetting these are just some of the ones from the top of my head

...

ok literally this is so niche and i probably shouldnt even bother mentioning it but i have sat on this fic for literally 8 years now and it makes me so sad the author never finished it but. one of the only werewolf fanfics ive ever read that i really clicked with was an overwatch hanzo/cassidy fic called 'spurs don't pair with scare chords' and i need to put it here bc its the platonic ideal of a werewolf fic with a well paced romance that isn't the major intrigue point. its my white whale of a fanfic and it being unfinished haunts me. i wish overwatch was good

[snekdood]

im not gonna say you cant use the n word w a hard r on a almost fully anonymous tumblr account where you claim to be black-

I will say that it makes you 100% more suspicious and worth keeping an eye out on you bc usually its neo nazis pretending to be black that spam saying the n word w an r and use tumblrs weird trust for almost fully anonymous accounts to their advantage to get away w it

you can say it, but, if you Are a neo nazi pretending to be black, I will say, you're not doing a good job of convincing me rn that you actually are.

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Practicing with adhd.... (A kinda long commentary on how to work with ADHD in your practice instead of against it)

(disclaimer: I'm making this post as someone who has a struggled with ADHD. In no way am I glorifying mental illness or symptoms of mental illness. This is just something I've dealt with all my life and i know other people have too. I'm just posting my own experience and advice. You do not have to use this at all.)

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was either 7 or 9 and have been struggling with it ever since, idk why I never grew out of it. Over the years of practicing, I've encountered a lot of practitioners with the same problem as me, only all of their advice was to try to get rid of ADHD has much as possible, well I tried that, I'm still the same. But that's just it, ADHD is apart of me, whether I like it or not. For years, I've always hated my ADHD, I constantly feel stupid, childish, and not responsible, but I am, I just need to work with my ADHD instead of around it. And that my friends is what Im going to teach you all here today, so grab a nice comfort TV show and a fidget bc your ADHD ass WILL READ THIS POST!!!!!!!!

My biggest problem with adhd and witchcraft

honest to the Gods, my biggest problem has got to be that witchcraft isnt dogmatic, you aren't going to get a rule book, there is no duality, you pick what's right from wrong, you make your practice your own. I had such a hard time figuring that out because I'm a very hands on learner. I grew up in a Christian household, most historical events that I wanted to research I could read in the Bible, or go to a church, or if I wanted to find community to help me figure out where to go well....it's basically all around me. But we don't have that with witchcraft. We only have ourselves (unless you were born into pagan/witchy family then lucky you I guess 😭😭). So obviously the only thing we can do is research.

"but omg chaos,,, I can't research I have executive dysfunction!"

I understand. Executive dysfunction is so weird why do humans have this??? Why was this built into my system??? Anyways, the best advice I can give you for executive dysfunction is that you can either go one of two ways:

1.) while you are laying in bed, cursing yourself to get up and do something. At least do something, but you just can't. That's ok. Dont beat yourself up about it, honestly the more you do that the more you're not going to want to do it. Allow yourself to be like this, allow yourself to just lay there. If you need to give offerings but you just can't get up, say sorry out loud, I always find that this brings me comfort and that my deities will know I'm truly sorry. Then forget about it, now it's time to allow yourself to just be. And then you wait until you find the strength to do it. That's it. Just be.

2.) you're laying in bed and you really need to give offerings to your deities. Get up. Just do it. Immediately once you have the thought in mind don't even think about it just do it. I know this doesn't work 100% of the time but it does for me. So 🤷

"how do I know if my practice is my own or if it's just a hyper-fixation?"

OK OK. I don't know anyone else who has this struggle but I have. When I started out, I was just a bright eyed kid filled with questions about the "unholy". I really started practicing when I was like 13-15. During these times, I didn't know how strong my hyper-fixation was with Greek mythology and religion until I fell out of that fixation. It was very disappointing to see myself gain so much momentum only to come crashing down. One thing that helped me decipher whether my practice was my own or not was simply asking questions to myself about my own beliefs and upg. If I couldn't answer these questions then I knew I wasn't really practicing I was just researching. Without my own experience, my own UPG, my spells weren't working correctly, and my rituals were failing. If there is no emotion behind it for me then the spell is just a bunch of herbs in a bottle.

"I struggle with grounding and meditation, how can I become better at that?"

Firstly, I need people to realize that I don't believe there is one right way to meditate. For me, starting out, I listened to guided meditations which helped me A LOT. Guided meditations I feel like are really slept on but I got a lot of communication done with my deties through this way, I met one of my guides this way bro. Another way you could do is laying down. As long as you are allowing yourself time to get into the meditative state, and if you can't, oh well, don't beat yourself up about, you can always try again.

"I have trouble remembering herb properties, correspondences, and holidays"

Write. Everything. down. Every spell you've ever created, every experience you have with your deties, every tarot card reading. Write it all down. Cross-research everything until something sticks. Give up the idea that grimoires need to look a certain way or give off a certain vibe. Just start writing shit down. In any book.

How I work with ADHD in my practice

Have you guys ever seen those post, I think they were floating around here around like 2019 or 2020?? They we're like "spells to get rid of ADHD" or "spells to get rid of depression" and shit like that. Yeah, I never understood those. I don't understand why we are treating these illnesses/disabilities like they are monsters?? I hate the ideology that all illnesses are bad, because yeah they impose a great risk to our health, but we can always look on the brighter side of things. My ADHD allows me to feel more deeply, because of this I feel connected to the gods always. My ADHD makes me passionate about my Interests in the gods, my ADHD can work with me.

Some ways I work with ADHD in my practice is by making a schedule and sticking to it but a bigger importance to that is recognizing when I need a break. During days that are dedicated to the gods, or holidays, I often times have a big thing planned that might take up a lot of energy. I allow myself breaks with things that aren't witchcraft related at all, then when I'm ready I pick it back up from where I left off.

I honestly think if you are reading this and you're like "yeah maybe I should start working with my ADHD instead of against it....but none of this stuff is hitting for me."

Then I advice you to look at your own symptoms and try to see if you can find any way you can work with yourself. For example, if one of my symptoms was that I was impulsive, one thing I would do is dedicate something impulsive to one of my gods. Like dying my hair, going out of town for the night, getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon (keep it stable buddy.), who gives a fuck. You are using your symptoms in a way that works with it instead of against it.

In conclusion....

I've had this post in mind for a while I just never had the words for it until now, and I still don't even know if this makes sense😭😭 I just hope to help atleast someone (it's 3 am and I literally decided to write this like....20 minutes ago.) this post was also me bashing on people who think ADHD is "all bad." Anyways, if anyone has any other advice or suggestions on how to work with ADHD, please leave them in the comments! I would love to get as much advice from adhd practitioners as I can! Alright I'm going to sleep now

[billieeilishshusband]

She had chances to be with tons of people, but she choice you to be attracted to. It was coachella, A bunch of famous artists were there of course Billie Eilish was invited and bunch other singers. While Doja was performing a bunch of singers were sat at a few couches. The couches were slightly uncomfortable they were like circling each other while straight. I have to honest watching the TV and talking to everyone was slightly boring. Billie was sat next to me in fact it was only us to on the couch facing the tv the other two couches were packed. My eyes were slowly closing while my arms were crossed, and my legs were quite open. I bobbed my while closing my eyes, I tilted my head sideways falling my head on her shoulder. During the period I was asleep for I liked Billie more than anyone here and it felt amazing meeting her. My eyes were slowly closing while my arms were crossed, and my legs were quite open. I bobbed my while closing my eyes, I tilted my head sideways falling my head on her shoulder. During the period I was asleep for I liked Billie more than anyone here and it felt amazing meeting her. I met Finneas before,, but it was only a few talks. He knew that I liked Billie. It was quite clear. My eyes were slowly closing while my arms were crossed, and my legs were quite open. I bobbed my while closing my eyes, I tilted my head sideways falling into Billie more than anyone here and it felt amazing meeting her. I met Finneas before, but it was only a few talks. He knew that I liked Billie. It was quite clear. My eyes were slowly closing while my arms were crossed, and my legs were quite open. I bobbed my I liked Billie more than anyone here and it felt amazing meeting her. My eyes were slowly closing while my arms were crossed and my legs were quite open. I bobbed my head sideways and fell my head on her shoulder. During the period of me being asleep Billie took quite quick notice to me falling asleep on her. She wasn’t annoyed or weirded out like most people probably would. I felt so warm with her. She noticed my movement, she gently turned her head detailing my features. She started stroking my short curly hair while speaking about random stuff. So they were all getting blankets and pillows. She moved her body making sure not to move too much. You had your head moved to her chest. She was still slightly sitting up, her blonde hair now messys. omehow although you were taller than her your body curled up right against Billie. Your face buried into her chest while she moved her head to be right above your head. The next morning I woke up before the others. I gently moved before realising who it was that was wrapped around my body. I felt so warm so I wasn’t planning on moving but I was still wanting to know. It was the cute blondie, Billie Eilish. I laid back down and I grabbed my phone from my pocket. Opening Instagram and I clicked on someone randoms story and it was a bunch of videos of Coachella and Doja Cat preforming. While going through peoples story I stopped at Lana’s. It was a photo of Billie laughing while stroking my hair, I was surprised. I screenshotted the story and also reposted it on my story adding a few hearts. I saw Billie post a story and it was another photo of us two and then a reposted video of her sleeping while hugging me. I was tagged or else I would of posted it on my story “Oh morning YN” she sat up and faced me “You fell asleep early” She chuckled standing up to straight “Yeah I saw some stories on Insta and sorry for sleeping all over you and probably drooling on you” I chuckled at the end of the sentence. “No it was cute” She said chuckling. “You know Billie- if your ever free- would you like to maybe hang out or go out? I know that's sudden but I never feel comfortable like I did.” I said standing up and facing her. she started chuckling at first I thought she was about to make fun of me “Yes I would love that”

im sorry i had to cut parts so if some parts dont make sense thats whyyy

[pixiestickie]

so . i did something ^}*#*}*%+%

(more parts might come and if that happens this post will be the masterlist)

ramble ⏬

so . ok here goes nothing. first things first.

this is like the “fisherman meets mermaid and they are in love” AU trope but jamil isnt a fisherman: he pretty much retained his canon life, aka he is a servant and one day he found a merman and he just hangs around him to escape from his shitty life situation (and the merman is completey enamoured).

so, apart of NRC not happening, more details about the canon divergence should be revealed at a later date

thiat is the info about the au out of the way. ill just do personal rambling here esp bevause im insecure about some things about this so you can stop reading if you want.

this is a trope ive seen around a lot, especially on twitter, so ive had this idea since a bunch of months ago. i then proceeded to forget about it until i saw a twitter post about this same exact trope again except it was with fucking miguel o’hara but thats besides the point. the original post that made me get the idea were 2 ocs (they had the blood-cut-to-call-merman idea. I completely stole it from that. im coming clean) and i was like “wow do you know who else is a mermaid? azul fucking ashengrotto”

ok so no the art style i used. i started using it really recently to doodle stuff, since 2 days ago actually im so serious. i tried using it here as well bevause its an easy art style, really quick to draw with it and also looks good. or so i thought. because im now having doubts about wether it looks good or not and i fear it might just look weird. i kinda wanna hear if people prefer this art style or my “actual” one from my other posts

this style looked way better when i used it to doodle stuff, but i dont think im capable of using it in comic format. the style i was going for is mostly evident in the colored “poster” because ive actually redrawn the comic sequence a bunch of times so the style was lost there. I do like how the “poster” looks but im not sure if y’all would agree so id love to hear wyt

now the biggest part. ive never made comics in my life!! so these are going to look so damn akward. u can already notice it here!!!!! crowd starts booing

also i cant draw water and also i dont know how to draw azuls octo patterns bc the material we have of his design are so vague and fragmented but his patterns are not easy to draw so im struggling and i need to make a reference of him for myself 😭😭

[lokorum]

Pls rant about non romance cole…he’s my favorite character in anything, ever and it feels so sad that we never got to have a deeper relationship w him. Like the mechanics/possible lore of having a romance with a spirit are so tantalizingly interesting but no…also doubting we will see him in veil guard which leaves me so so broken …

*looks at their pile of unpacked feelings about cole*

so ૮( ◡̀_◡́)ა where to start....................

first of all uh! im not good at talking! that's why i draw phphp but i'll try my best to resurrect my memories from 2014 and share it with you!! sorry if it will sound weird, english is not my native language! 

well WELL from the begining then. i remember spending hours  more like days hhhh thinking about how weird and cool the recruiting scene with cole is? later when he is already with the inquisition, our party is either on guard around him or kinda treats him like he is helpless and needs special attention or guidance or something like that? demonising someone like him or framing them as in need of help are like textbook behavior ofc and im not here to be a hater, i just noticed it? moments with solas and varric fighting over him like a divorced couple are super cute for sure!!

but i remember being confused because excuse me, out of all of them, this guy??, this feral bat that is chilling on the ceiling like it's a lounge-zone inside Lucius' head, created especially for him?

he is confident. also a little bit nervous, a bunch mysterious and just ghostly cool. but also confident. (im not saying this confidence is not misplaced sometimes btw x) he even tells you that if you'll leave your head you'll die! what a jokester (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)

and the whole quest with templars and envy are soooo horror coded, i love it!! it looked a bit silly, sure

(even after so many years im not able to get rid of the image in my brain phphphp) 

but it's still a very interesting quest!! dorian is ✨the bestie✨ but i'm always picking templars bc the implications of the story are just so good

1. its placed at the beginning of the game and your character is probably confused and anxious and dont yet worked out the routine of how to deal with their new title\powers + not every inquisitor character would want to be in the spotlight.

imagine you suddenly got yourself into position where a lot of people looking up to you, listening to what you saying, placing their hopes on you or waiting for you to fail? this is terrible! id 1000% just jumped out of a cliff!!! a small one, but still 

2. you meeting the guy who basically came from a place you now have unlimited access to.

he is: a) almost as confused as you are b) possibly came to this world without knowing consequences of that decision c) along the way he is figuring out how to be himself in the environment that is nothing like where he used to live. wow thats just like forced immigration *nervous laugh*

3. and let's not forget that you are meeting him inside your head and you can say to him "you look familiar".

dont know about you but apparently i dont need much to start screaming ¯(ツ)/¯

also can i just spend the moment to say that this is three (3) identical dialogue options??????????

the screenshot is from here btw

how awesome would it be to be able to figure out stuff together? to find comfort in someone, with someone who barely experienced it this way? to build on your strong sides? like "hope" for cole and i guess "unhingedness" for the inquisitor? i bet they would ground each other easily as well: cole distracting inq by being unintentionally mischievous and inq would have a notepad with cole's "firsts ____" or they would just read together. oh im such a sucker for hurt\comfort\some things cant be healed stuff uaaaaaaaaa

ALSO THE "FORGET" THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the drama the horror the tension!!!!!!!! you can fight me over this but heres the thought:

cole being so stressed that he is erasing\being on the edge of erasing the inquisitor's memories??????

i got the feeling that cole's confidence in the concept of "help" is, among other things, makes him being able to zoom in on something borderline obsessively? or vise versa - dismissively, not noticing "it hurts, its not for the better"? he thanks you when you promise to kill him, he cries when you do not. i swear this man (─ ‿ ─)

+quick addition bc im not entirely sure: so if i got it right, the anchor makes the inquisitor "too bright" to read? so among all the people we know about inq is the one that cole can't truly empathise on this lvl? on spiritual lvl you might say lsdkjflksdjflkj sorry!!!!! but jokes aside,this is like the perfect ground to build both comforting stories 

"someone from the party notices that cole is hanging near inq before inq do, and when asked he explains it by saying something like "dry warm skin. the air is stilled with quiet, easy to breathe. i followed the shining whispers and then i was followed no more" with the most plain face possible? "

and "today for lunch i have glass" kind of stories, like "the inquisitor is cornered and possibly bleeding and probably on the verge of passing out and they know that situation is bad and no one should follow/find them, "it's better to wait it out and deal with it on my own" kind of clown behavior. so they laugh tiredly at how pathetic they are, maybe remembering something similar from their childhood, remarks from their sibling for ex., and just trying their best to not think about how they need cole's help, cole's presence. the sense of safety that comes when he is around" 

uh!!! that wasnt neither quick or painless so i'll go make a tea wait a second please

im back!! so since i talked about the forget thing i must confess - i dont really like cole's personal quest???? again, im not complaining or anything but i remember feeling kinda empty while playing it? like deep inside me, there was something sad, but it was so far away,i coudn't even feel it properly?

both human and spirit versions of his ending made me feel like the distance between you and him lengthened, and maybe you could do something about it before but now? this "something" is missing and you're lost and can't even tell for sure if theres was a chance to do something in the first place? and cole just moved on? its super logical considering he is not a romance option but phphph so, i rarely romance someone in games, partly bc rpg tends to be a little horny and im that kind of ace who is not interested in this, partly bc i tend to pay attention to non-romanceable characters, so when i started to explore last da:i dlc and i saw cole having gf i was like "well ouch".

imagine your inq has a crush on cole but they never were able to say it clearly?

mb it was a melancholic slowburn, and your character was going through too much and felt like burdening cole with their problems would be unfair?

maybe they tried but the timing was wrong, the words felt stupid, and their hands felt too dirty, too guilty?

oh anon its been ten years and its still huuuuuurts!!!! if you following me for a while you know that im an edge lord in poor disguise so its not surprising for neither you or me that i ended up rumbling about inexplicable sadness and crushing existential guilt, but sorry for that anyway!! if anyone would want me to talk about something specific, or to draw something - im here, staring at the wall, listening to cole's banter :') thank you for the wonderful question tho, it was more than just nice to return back to this ship. im so agreeing with you about cole being the fave character from everything, but i also understand that this could mean being very unsatisfied with the way he was portrayed at some points or just with the fact that characters like him are rare so im sending you warm and tight hugs and a little sketch!! <3 

let's collectively accept the fact that dav gonna be a beautiful mess, we gonna love it (passionately), we gonna be hurt by it (not surprisingly) and COLE FOREVER WILL BE THE BEST DA CHARACTER EVER IM NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND FIGHT ME

[thecluelessdoctor]

hi

so recently

i was watching a bunch of videos on blogthegreatrouge

and remembered my once love for PJs Daycare. but now i know its disgusting like.. so bad. so is she. i just. ugh.

so, im going to remake it. i mean remake that shit i will do my best to make it better. starting with removing all the fankids characters and ships because.. sanscest is w e i r d.

anyway, for the people who some how dont know what im talking about is heres a summery. if i spelled that wrong shut up no i didnt

Tw: SA, suicidal thoughts I suppose, gr00ming basically

pjs daycare was a AU for undertale made by blogthegreatrouge. the au, was as it says, a daycare. basically all the sans aus were children, from like 3-6 i think, and the characters were... sanscest ship characters or sans fusions. one of the caretakers, and our- basic mc, is Paperjam, or PJ, the fusion between ink sans and error sans. i say fusion because i think that what they were originally intended to be before the fandom... yoinked them. aslo i refuse to ship sans aus together because thats WEIRD AS ALL SHIT. anyway. those are the basics, shipkids/fusion sanses are the caretakers and the sanses are children. interesting concept ig (i will make it better trust)

ok now that we have the basics down, lets get to the story. this was a ask blog so there wasnt much story, but from what i do remember, there were 2 major plot lines. the first plot line was uhm. borderline gr00ming. basically fresh sans, the satire sans au, has a crush on PJ. this fresh is i think about 3 yrs old. so ok, hes a kid, kids are weird. he claims he wants to marry pj. again, child, children say that stuff alot. and you think pj would be yk, normal and be like " no no, we cant do that" nicely and shit. WELL HE DOESNT. THIS BITCH SAYS "we cant get married righ now, but when your all grown up we can ^^" IM SORRY HUH. SIR. WHAT. not only that, later, there is a ask of how would pj react to adult fresh. in which its super weird with really gross sexual tension. not only that, lets follow in this aus rule, aus made by the same creator/s are gonna be related. ok. error, fresh and geno/aftertale are brothers. kinda weird but lets keep going here. pj in rouges interpretation is a ship child. A SHIP CHILD. MEANING FRESHIE HERE IS IS UNCLE?? ITS SO WEIRD?? also there is a mini plot line where ink and error like each other and its a big deal even tho, again, CHILDREN. also same person but i digress.

our next plotline is... where shit hits the fan. so, error, gets deathly sick and needs to go to the hospital. didnt know monsters had hospitals but ok. geno, error's older brother who is at most, 5, gets really depressed. and ik depression can come at any age, however, GENO here tries to commit farewell. this. doesn't. make. sense. a child isnt old enough to even comprehend death that well, let alone have the feeling to die AND ACT ON IT. not only that, right after stopping geno from leaving this mortal plane (isnt he immortal though?) they completely forget about it and have this weird romance between palette and goth (swap sans and dream sans) (geno and reaper) and its super weird, and gross (not as gross as nerd and jock but still) and palette is weirdly obsessive over goth and shit so its all just a huge pile of SHIT

oh yeah there is also this weird plot line with like this trio of mini villains, one being rouges self insert i think so. yeah.

anyway, that was pj's daycare. i will be reworking and remaking the entirety of this au. so uh.

yeah.

it will be posted. anyway bye