#a bumbling ramble

[tr4sh-hive-3]

i need HELP pLEASE (& thank you)

fuck fuck fuck fuCK fUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

i need help.

I am simply in shambles.

hi! my name’s pan, I’m 13, and I’m failing all my classes. Fuck! I’m so lonely. Everyone’s disappointed in me. I can’t do anything. I can’t do anything. Please help me.

I want to do something. I need to do something, anything. I can write. I can go full fucking Hamilton on this bitch. Like tomorrow won’t arrive, like I’m running out of time, like it’s going out of style, all that jazz. that’s my only skill, but fuck it’s pretty goddamn useful. I can do five (5) things; read, write, think, talk, and love. last one probably wouldn’t be super useful for college.

okay, I think I’ve calmed down a bit. hear me out. I will post something on tumblr everyday. everyday. cause if I can’t do something regularly that actually takes consistent memory and planning and commitment and all that fucking jazz I’m gonna start having suicidal daydreams again. even if it’s a stupid shitpost, I need————fucking something. This post has been in my drafts for, probably, some amount of weeks. I didn’t even finish that last sentence, “I need-“. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Yeah, writing is not useful. Theoretically, it should be, right? I should be seducing teachers and colleges and all sorts of academics with essays, but I’m not. I’m not even that good at writing. Mama says I am but she’s fucking lying. She also says I’m beautiful and smart and hardworking. The only reason I don’t have suicidal fantasies is cause of my mama. I love my mama very much. But she’s a fucking liar.

I can’t write. (4).

The only thing I read is fanfiction. I’m just gonna be honest ‘bout that. I’ve read the first 5 chapters of Divergent and Jesus fucking Christ it’s boring as fuck. Hold on: reading test scores. I’m usually in the 99th percentile for reading comprehension/proficiency. And lemme tell you, every time I take one of those silly little tests, it does WONDERS for my ego. But I am unable to read regularly.

I can’t read. (3).

Pretty sure I have severe social anxiety. I’ve always thought I would be able to talk to and entertain and charm people easily. Because I can talk to myself. I’m always talking to myself in made-up scenarios. And I’m always charming and entertaining. It’s so annoying when I’m trying to socialize with actual humans and I keep stuttering and going quiet and covering my face in embarrassment. And at first I thought it wasn’t that bad. That I could make those annoying-ass mannerisms kinda cute, right? And I could lean into it and make “cute’n’shy” the selling point of my personality. I know that sounds super cringey. This whole post sounds super cringey. And my last post too. I’m so scared that everyone else thinks I’m cringey and annoying and obnoxious and too loud or too quiet and not worth talking to. Anyway, that selling point does not work. It just gives me more anxiety. And fuck if I know the impression it makes on anyone else.

I can’t talk (to other people). (2).

I think I might be cupioromantic. I’ve read about romance. I’ve heard it described as butterflies and ecstasy pills. Romantic, sexual attractions are supposed to be strong feelings. Or at least enjoyable ones. And heartbreak is supposed to feel physically painful. I’ve never felt any of those. I thought I was touch-starved, but there’s this guy that I don’t particularly like who says he has a crush on me and we cuddle at the bus stop and sure the cuddles are fine and I don’t mind his company but I am not attracted to him at all. For some reason, I thought cuddling with a tolerable person would be super nice? But it’s not. So now I’m kinda just doing it so he doesn’t feel rejected. Not that I’m leading him on! I’ve been very clear that I am very much not attracted to him. I guess we’re friends. He refers to me as his crush. I don’t like that. This love rant has gotten kind of off topic. Back on track; I keep having these fantasies with a nameless person in which I hold their hand, kiss their forehead, make them pancakes, sing them love songs, write them love letters, give them little romantic gifts, pet their hair till they fall asleep, etc. I’ve never actually felt that way about a real person. I might not ever feel that way about a real person. All this romance stuff is really confusing and annoying. I’ll just stick to platonic relationships for now. But I don’t have any friends. I really hope everyone’s indifferent towards me. It’s so much easier to be unknown than it is to be disliked. I’m not sure which one I am.

I can’t love. (1).

My grandfather patented a medical imaging thingamajig. He was pretty smart. He’s dead now. I’m actually typing this from one of his three phones that I inherited cause my old one got stolen. I always liked the bastard. My dad yelled at him a lot but he didn’t give a shit. He never got upset or offended or quiet or loud back when my dad was an ass to him. Maybe he wasn’t the best parent. His kids (my dad and tia) turned out to be some nasty pieces of work. Actually, just my dad. Tia’s fine—just kinda loopy and alcoholic. She’s really nice. Her husband’s an ass, though. And her son. I can’t really blame the son. His parents are a little subpar. I got off topic again. Sorry. It’s kinda late and I’ve been dreadfully sick these last few days. You’ve got an attention span of steel if you’ve made it this far. Sorry again, back on track:

Following the pattern of this text post, I am now going to prove my state of <no thoughts head empty>.

I overthink things. A lot. I think there’s something wrong with me. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe my thoughts are completely normal. Maybe this is what it’s like inside everyone’s head. But if I’m the same as everyone else, why is it that the average “everyone else” can function as a human being? I can’t function. I can barely brush my teeth everyday. Let alone exist bearably in a school setting. Grades are the only things that matter right now. And mine are shit. So I don’t matter. I can’t even force myself to try. All of it is so fucking boring. AND I’M OFF TOPIC. AGAIN. FUCKING CHRIST. MY GRADES? SHIT. GRADES DIRECTLY CORRELATE TO? INTELLIGENCE AND MANAGEMENT SKILLS. INTELLIGENCE AND MANAGEMENT SKILLS DIRECTLY CORRELATE TO? THINKING. ABILITY TO THINK. ABILITY TO BRAIN PROPERLY. BRAINING. BRAINING WELL. ZAPPING THE FUCKING BRAIN CELLS IN PROPER FUCKING ORDER. ALL THE BRAIN CELLS. FUCKING. BRAIN CELL ORGY. HOTEL? MOTHERFUCKING TRIVAGO.

Think? I cannot. Can’t think. I cannot think. (0).

Okay! That’s all five! I have zero (0) skills! Yay! Shit! I have provided evidence and reasoning. I’m so proud of myself. I’ve finally gotten to the end of this godforsaken text post. This bitch has been in the drafts for weeks. What was even the point of this? Is this what is feels like to finish something? To accomplish a task?

If you’re actually reading this, congratulations. You’re ready to kill god. If you haven’t already. You have the focus of a goddamn hawk.

I. Am. Going. To. Stop. Rambling

I. Am. Going. To. Post. Everyday.

(insert clever sign-off here)

[awhoreintheory]

Everyone likes to write Peter's favorite (dc) hero being wonderwoman or someone in the batfamily, but i disagree

Peter, the absolute NERD that he is, would hero worship The Flash on Iron Man level.

Like, you're telling me the kid who loves science wouldn't be absolutely enamored with a hero who can run so fast he can cross dimensions? Go backwards AND forwards in time? No way Jose.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[bumble-the-sun-bee]

Who am I ?

[time taken: 3 hours]

[cheecats]

In light of how grossly disrespectful and dismissive some (not all) DC voters have been, here is something for a lovely lady who deserved better. [X]

[takami-takami]

Still thinking of how fucking happy Keigo gets with a mouth full of pussy.

All glossy-eyed, muffled little sounds. Like a fucking puppy with a treat in his mouth.

He's not really... all there, you know? Cloud nine ain't enough to describe it. Absolutely pussy drunk, rough palms running up and down your thighs, breathing slowed as his heart rate thumps and he's dizzy with it. The wetness on his tongue, the way you dig your claws into his scalp.

The way Keigo practically mouths at your cunt as he gets into it— hand slowly crawling down to paw at his cock through the clothes... Slipping beneath the waistband just a little...

He promises he'll behave. He's a good boy, honest!

[randomrabbidramblings]

Phantom's "Captain Opera-Beard and the Bumbling Brigands of Toilet Water Bay"

[Opera Beard's design is bound to change, I'm still not sure about his coat and especially his hat]

I've thought about this for a couple of weeks now and it's time to share some things I thought of! There's no real plot and I don't know if I will ever evolve it further than this, but I hope you enjoy it! (if you don't, it's Phantom's fault he wrote it lol)

Opera Beard is said to have lost his heart after some kind of love story and that's why he's seemingly invincible. Voices say to defeat him, you have to put his heart back, so he can become vulnerable again. However, he holds a secret...

Opera Beard isn't properly "dead". He was cursed by one of his past lovers to be a ghost before he lost the heart.

The Pirates under Opera Beard's command aren't cursed. They were some of his old theater crew that stuck with him. Hovever, even if they were around since the beginning of their piracy era and witnessed him getting cursed to his spectral form, even they don't know what happened to the Captain's heart.

Speaking of the heart, it's not really clear what happened to it. Some stories say he lost it because one of his lovers was a witch and she stole it, some others say he purposefully threw it away because of a terrible breakup and some even say it whithered away for the overuse. Without his heart the Captain is said to be invulnerable, so it needs to be put back to defeat him.

One of the Captain's goals is to find a soulmate. He spent his life witnessing all of his lovers drift away from him, be it his fault or the lovers'. He always justifies himself saying he has too much love to give and all of his past flings were too overwhelmed by his affection.

Opera Beard can take a smaller form and manfest legs to disguise himself as a living being, but only during the day. He's still very recognizable though, so to prove he's not the cursed pirate, he can mimic a heartbeat. It's in this form that he will go around on land in search of his soulmate.

In his usual specral form he's interestingly very wary of personal space, however in his "living" disguise he's pretty tactile and physically affectionate. He justifies it as not liking his spectral form and not wanting anyone feel how cold he is.

The Pirates's way to attack other ships is tostalk them in rocky or foggy places, often in the night when the other ship is busy manouvering or finding their way. You know they're right behind you when your sailors stop singing but the song doesn't.

The Pirates are attracted to music even when they're not stalking anyone. It's one of the Captain's only weaknesses.

The Pirates kidnapped Princess Peach of the near Kingdom once. The Captain thought the lady whose pure heart was known around the world, would be the perfect soulmate. What he didn't think was that she had a whole army ready to fight him including a seemingly worthless sailor who was able to kick his ass. Opera Beard wrote a loooong song about this sailor drowining as "revenge".

And lastly the Captain's secret: his heart was never lost. He made up the whole thing as to give himself more of a "cursed pirate" look and to deter people to try and defeat him just after he was cursed with his specral form. His insistence on personal space is an excuse to not let anyone hear his heartbeat while he's a ghost and his "fake heartbeat" of his living disguise it's his actual heartbeat.

[gunstellations]

double trouble

[the-owl-tree]

i promise i won’t make a habit of this but look a bad take about bumble is a bad take i have to wield my blade against. she was being threatened and beaten!! the scene where they reject her she’s pleading for safety from her abuser!!!! the moor cats weren’t concerned about turtle tail they literally just thought about how fat and useless bumble was and it was framed as a good thing

[lilaccatholic]

There are people who have learned LANGUAGES for the ones they love and I'm supposed to settle for BUMBLE???????

[arthrobug]

Here I go, over-analyzing a singular scene from Captain Laserhawk, and of course it's Rayman!

Minor nudity/minor sexual talk warning!

So this absolutely famous scene, am I right?

Few hours ago, I started thinking about every single thing Rayman had done in Captain Laserhawk, and how I could analyze it.

And so I realized a few things about this moment, or I just overthought a few things in this moment, but ANYWAYS!-

This particular practice is called Nyotaimori -Nantaimori for male models- and it's translation can be dumbed down to 'body sushi'. It's the Japanese practice of eating food, primarily sushi, off of a female model.

At first, I had this idea: "Hey, what if Rayman deciding to hire a Nyotaimori model is one of the ways he tries to futilely connect to others?" Here's a few notes as to why I thought this:

It's been clearly stated that Rayman is incredibly lonely, and there are a few scenes and things he does that shows he's a bit desperate for any sort of interaction. I mean, even if he was drunk and coked up off his rocker, he still listened to an ominous message on his TV and willingly went to go talk to a 'terrorist', and even was minorly friendly with Bullfrog even though they had just met. Rayman was also still under the impression that the hybrid was a terrible person that just happened to be a bit nice, but he still continued to talk to him even though he really had no primary reason to other than 'talk to the frog'.

Someone -even though it's a paid interaction- willingly undressing themselves to be completely nude and allowing you to eat food off of them while they lay on their stomach is a very intimate (non-sexual) thing. It could be a non-verbal feeling of trust that Rayman gains from engaging in this practice. He might not even know her name, but he might believe that she trusts he won't hurt her.

Rayman doesn't seem necessarily sexual with this model, he's just eating and watching television. Of course, he could've done something more sensual and/or sexual with this model before he saw his copy on the big screen, but we will likely never know if he did, so the assumption that he hadn't is more prominent. His goal with this practice wasn't for sexual gratification, it's just to have someone be there, whether they want to or not.

And so, I decided to do some more research on Nyotaimori, and even more things were brought to my attention. The main point I gather from this is:

This is a very unprofessional and likely unregulated meeting.

There are actually a lot of rules usually strictly set in businesses that sell Nyotaimori!

Sushi should not be placed directly on the body. There should be some form of divider, like a banana leaf or plastic wrapping. The model Rayman is eating off of clearly has no divider whatsoever. Additionally, you're usually not allowed to touch the model whatsoever. Rayman didn't touch her in this scene, but it just adds to the 'I don't think he was sexual or sensual with her'. (He's was 100% a rule-follower to the end at this point... Other than hard drugs.)

Not too surprising, but there are indeed body regulations (what a person's body should look like). Although the idea isn't surprising, the main regulation itself is. A model shouldn't be big-breasted, they aim for smaller cupped women, 'so the sushi doesn't roll off'. The model seemingly has very large breasts, although that could be the reason why she's on her stomach, but that's another issue.

As mentioned, the model is on her stomach. Nyotaimori models are placed on their backs, and actually have some form of covering most of the time! Shells, thongs, petals, and as seen with this model, some flowers! Another thing however, is that she's very nonchalant. She's swinging her legs, eating an olive, and subtly reacts to Rayman when he sees his look-alike. Models aren't allowed to react to what their patrons do, unless they are being incredibly inappropriate towards them.

The areas where models and their patron(s) are going to be eating/sitting still for very long periods at are set up meticulously, even in at-home sessions. In the background, you can subtly see a bra on the couch and possibly a pair of underwear hanging from a lamp, these are highly likely to be the model's. It's seemingly a very messy meeting, which is unusual.

SO! I can make the assumption from all this is that: This hybrid cow is a beginner model and doesn't care too much about professionalism; the business she works for just doesn't care, OR she's just some joe schmoe (which is a very unsettling idea to be honest) and was casually up for Rayman eating sushi off her ass and back, OR Eden's regulations for Nyotaimori are incredibly lax.

What does that all lead up to? Still the first idea: Rayman is desperate for any form of connection, even if they don't talk to him. He just wants someone to be there, whether they actually care about him or not.

This idea also contributes to how he stayed under the Council's clutches for so long. They gave him attention. Although they were definitely the reason he's needy for any type of attention, they gave him their eyes consistently sparingly and convinced him that was all he was ever going to get.

And tying this to his first interaction with Bullfrog and how he turned against Eden so quick and didn't just adamantly deny Bullfrog's vision, Bullfrog gave him the most neutral attention he has ever received in decades.

Not overly positive attention like he gets on his show (which definitely is fake to him), and not suffocatingly negative attention that the Council and some speciest people like Red have shown him- Bullfrog gave Rayman his real, raw attention, and it's probably going to be become like a drug to him.

[girlashfur]

the alex vs bumble poll made me think bc of how many dumbasses keep saying you should vote for alex just because she had a trope named after her. what if we named a trope after bumble....perhaps getting "bumbled" as a term for when a female character is killed off but has their death brushed aside and the causation of it (clear sky) ignored simply because she was a woman, and women's deaths aren't nearly as important as men's

[bumble-the-sun-bee]

Art fight attack on @socksandbuttons !!

Felt one of my already made line-less backgrounds would be a comfy place for bean eclipse to rest :)

[cheecats]

Hear me out... Bumble x Star Flower AU...

[takami-takami]

Erggg.... Squeezing his boobs. God, they're probably so fucking grabbable and like. Putting your cheek against them, feeling them warm against your face when he's shirtless. The way he'd smile with his mouth quirked up one side like a smirk and ask, "what are you doing?"

[serenadeofsunshine]

joey being able to guess my new crush Immediately has broken me (i have a new crush by the way and it might be my worst one yet).