#a blanket and a Lawrence Gordon | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blueberrypancakesworld · 1 year ago

Text

Lawrence Gordon - In a relationship

Warning : fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, implied smut, chance of mind, loss of a foot

Info : So back at it again with another Saw fic and this time our favorite doctor Lawrence Gordon Ladies and Gentleman. Have fun reading ;)

masterlist

--------------------------

°Loving and Obsessive

°You would meet in medical school, he on his way to becoming a doctor and you a nurse. You would study together in the big library and meet from time to time outside the university. What were initially coffee dates soon became restaurant visits and more romantic gestures from Lawrence. He loved to give you the flirt and tease you until you could finally see each other again.

°The late night learning led to you waking up together in a bed with books and papers spread out and you felt his arm around you as he murmured ,,Good morning" to you. The time between you was full of love and you even thought for a while that you would move in together and get married so lovingly he treated you. So often he had given you gifts, adored you and loved you.

°But when you both finished your studies, it was he who showed up with another woman by his side. A doctor not a nurse like you, it was she he took with him and left you behind. An incident that saw and even took you some time to start working in a hospital always with the fear that you would meet him.

°But with time the pain passed and you seemed to be over it, much to your delight. Until you took a new job in a new hospital and ran into a certain doctor on your ward. ,,Lawrence?" she said in confusion, seeing the man she had once loved as older, handsomer and prettier. But she saw the gold ring on his finger and how he looked at her in surprise and didn't seem to believe that she was here with him.

°But she walked past him, left him standing there and felt him looking after her. But she quickly had to admit to herself that her heart had never stopped beating for him, that she still loved him and that his advances to woo her were becoming more and more obvious. At first it was apologies and gestures, but when he reached for her in the medicine room and she let the door fall shut, it was silent between them.

°His bright eyes went to hers and she saw him watching her again with that loving expression before they kissed and found each other again in the darkness of the room. Knowing that he was married, the relationship between them was stronger than ever. But she noticed that he was becoming more cunning, perhaps even a little arrogant in his work and loved it when she praised him.

°She still loved it when he could give her presents and she was his pretty jewel. Until the incident when he suddenly disappeared and was gone for months he had disappeared during which time you searched for him not giving him up and found out through a couple of relationships how his wife had not been seen either. Had he disappeared?

°No, after months of pain and crying because you thought he had left you after all, someone rang your doorbell at night. Standing at the door in the rain was a frail, aged Lawrence Gordon. There was pain and apology in his gaze before tears came to your eyes and you fell into his arms before calling him in.

°But the biggest shock was when you watched him as his eyes fled from the light that seemed too bright, his different gait and you saw the prosthetic on his foot. How you made him soup and gave him blankets and towels and held him while he stifled his tears and reached for the painkiller instead.

°Since then he had changed and didn't want to tell you what had happened, you helped him to get better as best you could and had long since become so devoted to him that he was your everything and vice versa. But in his new way he had a goal, a goal which he took more seriously than anything else. But at some point you found out yourself what had happened when you met Lawrence with John in your house at night.

°You knew the older man, you had seen him in the hospital and the fact that he was the Jigsaw killer would have almost pulled the rug out from under you if Lawrence hadn't supported you. But since then you've been another piece of the puzzle in the game, you've been the eyes and ears in the hospital, and like Lawrence, you've become more and more absorbed in his new role, his new purpose.

He still loved you and took you, but the ropes with which he tied you up, looked at you and let you hang from the ceiling seemed to get tighter and tighter. His gestures more demanding and more demanding but his voice every time made you lose your mind while you took your role and he gave you everything you wanted. You were his darling.

°You came with him to the meeting of the victims, standing by his side with your hand on his shoulder. How he saw there his walking stick in the hand that you had chosen with him. It only made him more handsome for you and you both pulled the strings like spiders in the background during the games.

°It was you who stood at the end, carrying on the legacy and yet giving yourselves to each other. You took the heart he had and he gave you the love you needed. You were the king and queen in the game.

---------

@a-writer-on-elm-street

#saw movies #saw #saw franchise #lawrence gordon #lawrence gordon x reader #saw lawrence #cary elwes

78 notes · View notes

dustedmagazine · 6 months ago

Text

Dusted Mid-Year 2024, Part III (The Lists)

Winged Wheel

Dusted’s writers picked two for the mid-year exchange, but any of them could easily reel off a dozen or more other favorites. Find out what else they liked in this collection of lists.

If you haven’t read Part I or Part II yet, check them out.

Christian Carey

Arooj Aftab — Night Reign (Verve)

Richard Baker — The Tyranny of Fun (NMC)

Kyle Bruckman — Of Rivers (New Focus)

Madi Diaz — Weird Feeling (Anti)

Julia Holter — Something in the Room She Moves (Domino)

Hurray for the Riff Raff — The Past is Still Alive (Nonesuch)

Vijay Iyer, Linda May Han Oh, Tyshawn Sorey — Compassion (ECM)

Kali Malone — All Life Long (Ideologic Organ)

Rosali — Bite Down (Merge)

Caroline Shaw and Sō Percussion — Rectangles and Circumstance (Nonesuch)

Ches Smith — Laugh Ash (Pyroclastic)

Waxahatchee — Tigers Blood (Anti)

Tim Clarke

DIIV — Frog In Boiling Water (Fantasy)

Loma — How Will I Live Without A Body? (Sub Pop)

Jessica Pratt — Here in the Pitch (City Slang)

Jon Mckiel — Hex (You’ve Changed)

Winged Wheel — Big Hotel (12XU)

Corridor — Mimi (Sub Pop)

English Teacher — This Could Be Texas (Island)

Helado Negro — Phasor (4AD)

Ty Segall — Three Bells (Drag City)

The Smile — Wall of Eyes (XL)

Andrew Forell

Arab Strap — I’m totally fine with it 👍 don’t give a fuck anymore 👍 (Rock Action)

Camera Obscura — Look to the East, Look to the West (Merge)

Daryl Groetsch — Above the Shore (self-released)

Drahla — angeltape (Captured Tracks)

Geotic — The Anchorite (Basement’s Basement)

Iceboy Violet, Nueen — You Said You’d Hold my Hand Through the Fire (Hyperdub)

Kim Gordon — The Collective (Matador)

Mick Harvey — Five Ways to Say Goodbye (Mute)

Sandwell District — Where Next? (Point of Departure)

Umbrellas — Fairweather Friend (Slumberland)

Yosa Peit — Gutbuster (Fire)

Reissues:

Brion Gysin — Junk (WEWANTSOUNDS)

These Immortal Souls — Get Lost (Don’t Lie!) Mute

Bryon Hayes

Rosali – Bite Down (Merge)

Winged Wheel – Big Hotel (12xU)

Gastr Del Sol – We Have Dozens of Titles (Drag City)

Beings – There is a Garden (No Quarter)

Ambarchi Berthling Werliin – Dusted II (Drag City)

Sunburned Hand of the Man – Nimbus (Three Lobed)

Water Damage – In E (12xU)

Dun-Dun Band – Pita Parka Pt. 1: Xam Egdub (Ansible Editions)

Gerycz Powers Rolin – Activator (12xU)

Magic Tuber String Band – Needlefall (Thrill Jockey)

Alex Johnson

Rosali — Bite Down (Merge)

RE Seraphin — Fool’s Mate (Take A Turn/Safe Suburban Home)

Uranium Club — Infants Under the Bulb (Static Shock)

The Spatulas — Beehive Mind (Post Present Medium)

Yohei — Echo You Know (Perpetual Doom)

Pardoner — Paranoid in Hell (Convulse)

NYSSA — Shake Me Where I’m Foolish (Six Shooter)

Nowhere Flower — Ruts the Place (Radical Documents)

Sheer Mag — Playing Favorites (Third Man)

Cindy Lee — Diamond Jubilee (Realistik Studios)

Oren Ambachi / Johan Berthling / Andreas Werlin — Ghosted II (Drag City)

Winged Wheel — Big Hotel (12XU)

Jennifer Kelly

Rosali—Bite Down (Merge)

Mdou Moctar—Funeral for Justice (Matador)

Mary Timony—Untame the Tiger (Merge)

Myriam Gendron—Mayday (Thrill Jockey)

Lupa Citto—S-T (12XU)

James Elkington & Nathan Salsburg—All Gist (Paradise of Bachelors)

Rail Band—S-T (Mississippi)

Winged Wheel—Big Hotel (12XU)

Six Organs of Admittance—Time is Glass (Drag City)

Split System—Vol. 2 (Goner)

Ian Mathers

The Body & Dis Fig — Orchards of a Futile Heaven (Thrill Jockey)

Broadcast — Spell Blanket: Collected Demos 2006-2009 (Warp)

Cassandra Jenkins — My Light, My Destroyer (Dead Oceans)

Chelsea Wolfe — She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She (Loma Vista)

Jessica Moss — For UNRWA (Self released)

Laura Masotto — The Spirit of Things (7K!)

loscil // lawrence english — Chroma (Self released)

Myriam Gendron — Mayday (Feeding Tube/Thrill Jockey)

Polar Inertia — Environment Control (Northern Electronics)

Whitelands — Night-bound Eyes Are Blind to the Day (Sonic Cathedral)

Jim Marks

Ben Allison, Steve Cardenas, and Ted Nash — Tell the Birds I Said Hello: The Music of Herbie Nichols (Sonic Camera)

Mary Halvorson — Cloudward (Nonesuch)

Demian Cabaud — Arbol Adentro (Porta Jazz)

Fabiano do Nascimento and Sam Gendel — The Room (Real World)

Francesco Sensi — In Abstracto (WoW)

James Brandon Lewis Quartet — Transfiguration (Intakt)

James Elkington and Nathan Salsburg — All Gist (Paradise of Bachelors)

Juan Pablo Alcazar — Otro Quatuor Pour La Fin Du Temps (Porta Jazz)

Michele di Toro, Yuri Goloubev, and Hans Mathisen — Trinomics (Calogola)

Tony Moreno Trio — Ballads Volume 1 (Sunnyside)

Patrick Masterson

Cindy Lee — Diamond Jubilee (Realistik)

Chief Keef — Almighty So 2 (43B)

Marika Hackman — Big Sigh (Chrysalis)

Water Damage — In E (12XU)

Oneida — Expensive Air (Joyful Noise)

Winged Wheel — Big Hotel (12XU)

Burial — “Dreamfear / Boy Sent From Above" (XL)

Gouge Away — Deep Sage (Deathwish Inc.)

Blues Ambush — Blues Ambush (Radical Documents)

Tei Shi — Valerie (self-released)

Armand Hammer — BLK LBL (self-released)

Donato Dozzy — Magda (Spazio Disponibile)

Bill Meyer

أحمد [Ahmed] —Wood Blues (Astral Spirits)

أحمد [Ahmed]—Giant Beauty (Fönstret)

Bill Orcutt Guitar Quartet—Four Guitars Live (Palilalia)

Itasca—Imitation of War (Paradise of Bachelors)

Lisa Ullen, Heirloom (Fönstret)

Lumpeks—Polonez (Umlaut)

Matthew Shipp Trio, New Directions in Jazz Piano Trio (ESP-Disk’)

Olivia Block—The Mountains Pass (Black Truffle)

Oren Ambarchi / Johan Berthling / Andreas Werliin—Ghosted II (Drag City)

Rafael Toral—Spectral Evolution (Moikai)

The Handover—The Handover (Sublime Frequencies)

Tomeka Reid Quartet—3x3 (Cuneiform)

Jonathan Shaw

Bad Breeding—Contempt (Iron Lung)

Fuera de Sektor—Juegos Prohibidos (La Vida Es un Mus)

Cindy Lee—Diamond Jubilee (Realistik Studios)

SUMAC—The Healer (Thrill Jockey)

Thou—Umbilical (Sacred Bones)

VR Sex—“Hard Copy” (Dais)

#dusted magazine #mid-year 2024 #the iists #christian carey #tim clarke #andrew forell #jennifer kelly #jim marks #ian mathers #bill meyer #patrick masterson #jonathan shaw

8 notes · View notes

apprenticestanheight · 10 months ago

Text

All is Well That Ends Well - Lawrence Gordon x gn! afab! reader - Part IV

Annnnnnnnnd, an hour and eleven minutes later, here's part four!! the next parts will be released on the seventh and fourteenth and then, unless I can manage to get a lot of writing done in not a lot of time, there'll probably be a bit of a delay between the end of The Beginning and the beginning of The Middle (I promise better titles will be created for these sections I am just. I am just terrible at titling and pull stuff out of a hat a lot of the time) but at the latest, the Middle will start in late march-early april.

Fic type - this one is so smutty, but it's also fluffy, so it's fluff that leads up into smut

Warnings - minors,, DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT THANK YOU, oral, cockwarming, edging (kind of??) mentions of the loss of Lawrences foot + prosthetics and pain and itching associated with wearing them too long

A few days pass, and on that Wednesday, after all of your classes were cancelled from a snowstorm, you wake up at eight and make a list with Aurelie over the phone of things you need to grab, organized by room for your own convenience.

For your bedroom you need to get a nightstand, wardrobe, a lamp or two, and better sheets and blankets than the ones you’d had for a decade, which were on their last legs as it were.

For the bathrooms—of which there are two, one in the primary suite and the other across the hall from one of the other two bedrooms—you need shower curtains, bathmats, and small bins to hold random essentials like pads, tampons, Band-Aids and anything else someone might need short notice, as well as trash cans and garbage bags accordingly.

The living and dining rooms are where stuff gets pricey—you need a couch, love seat, rocking chair, coffee table, television and a stand, curtains, maybe a rug and definitely a dining table.

For one of the other two bedrooms, you require an additional bed and curtains so that it can serve as the guest space. For the other of the two bedrooms, you need curtains, bookshelves, a comfy daybed, a desk and a rolling chair so that it can act as a library-slash-office space for studying and reading.

Since you figure Lawrence is working, Aurelie helps you get most of it. A lot of it came from IKEA for the sake of your own convenience but you refused, blatantly, to buy a bed or couch or even so much as a rocking chair from there, so it was a fairly cheap trip.

You grab the bed from the same spot you got the one you’d bought for yourself six months before, when the bed you’d had got lumpy and it became clear just how old it was—a local furniture store that was a twenty minute drive out and did same-day delivery fee at no additional cost.

The rocking chair, couch, coffee table, love seat, wardrobe and daybed were purchased from a furniture store one of your bosses had recommended. It was a forty minute drive from the condo but so worth it as they delivered to your apartment for only an additional $20.

Once the furniture shopping is complete you grab groceries and are home to unload them at half past four, making quick work of it because all you want to do is lie on your couch and make a bad decision or two.

You call Lawrence, exhausted but wanting to test out the couch in more ways than just sitting on the damn thing, at five o’clock on the dot. He answers on the second ring.

“How’d furniture shopping go?” He greets.

You bite your lip to fend off a smile. “Aurelie did it with me—sorry for not calling you, I figured you were working and the places I went to for the bigger things do delivery—and now I’m just sitting, lonely. Kind of want to order take out, honestly, but Aurelie has studying to do and I’m assuming you’re still at work.”

“Just left, actually,” Lawrence says. “I can come over if you’d like? We can talk for a bit and, assuming there are groceries in your fridge today unlike yesterday, I can make dinner. Takeaway is decent but food that takes effort is good, too.”

“I didn’t come close to spending a quarter of the rainy day fund,” you say. “I told myself I’d spend five thousand at most, and I spent close to five thousand, yeah, but still. The way I see it, I have sixty dollars to blow on take out and if you really must cook me dinner, you can do so Friday night. I like things more even and unless you’d prefer that I spent the $60 on weed, I’d really like to see you.”

Lawrence laughs. “I think I’ve realized what you aim to get from me,” he says. “I thought I’d be the one making those types of calls or coming into the condo with my spare key and groping you while you read whichever book you’re reading at that point in time.”

You laugh seductively. “That’ll come up in the next few weeks, I imagine,” you say. “However, right now I am exhausted, need something in my something and this couch is way too big for one person. Grabbed an L shaped one so that I could take a nap on it on a lazier Sunday afternoon but today was not lazy or a Sunday. Today was productive and if I don’t see you in the next thirty minutes, I will drive my ass back to where I vaguely remember your house being and knock on a door, one that I can only I hope is yours so that I can make the first $2000 you’ll give me on whichever day within the next week so worth your while that it hurts.”

“You’ll get it Saturday,” Lawrence says. “The first installment.”

“Get your ass to this condo or so help me God—”

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” Lawrence laughs. “Mouthing me off is not recommended.”

“There can’t be too many punishments out there. I like it when pain gets involved. Being thrown and smacked around just gets me wet.”

“There are ways to torture you without being aggressive. Be a good puppy and wait for me, yeah?”

You roll your eyes. One sexual encounter a few days prior and he knows, already, that calling you his puppy is the quickest way to get you to submit.

“Yeah, Lawrence,” you say. “Of course.”

“Good,” he says. “You can wait fifteen minutes without touching yourself, can’t you?”

Without meaning to, you grind helplessly against the hem of your jeans.

“Mhm.”

“Good puppy.”

And then the call is done, and you’re going to your bedroom to swap your day clothes for something more comfortable—a black hoodie you’d owned since you started in the PhD program at 26 that you’d accidentally ordered around six sizes too big—and strip of everything else.

You head back into the living room, clad in nothing but a baggy hoodie. It leaves your clit, folds, and breasts open to the wintery cold updraft, which forces you to grab a throw blanket and toss it over your legs.

The ten minutes to proceed those events are spent reading a romance novel that you’d put on your coffee table for decoration, and when you hear the sound of Lawrences spare key entering the slot on the door, you grin.

He closes the door behind him lightly, grins when he meets your gaze, and you look him over.

He looks good in a way that makes you almost insatiable—navy blue button up shirt, black slacks, white doctors coat hanging loosely off his shoulders. His hair is handsomely unkempt, and he looks like the picture of laidback professionalism.

He takes the white coat off, drapes it over the top of your loveseat.

“You look cute,” he says. “Waited for me on the couch the entire time?”

You nod, standing up without thinking twice about it. “You said to wait. I did.”

He steps towards you, intentionally walking slowly. “Are you wearing anything beneath the hoodie, puppy?”

You shake your head. “I’m not. I always wear the hoodie like this—it’s comfortable for me,” it’s a lie, of course, but you just have to hope it’s not a very obvious one.

“Is it really?” He asks. When you bite your lip, he laughs.

“I don’t like liars,” he says. “If you decided to forgo anything beneath it because of me, you’re allowed to be honest. I find honesty preferable to lies, even if the way that you bite your lip and how fucking good you look makes me want to bend you over the arm of the couch and use you to my preference.”

You nod. “I wore it like this for conveniences sake,” you admit. “Was a bit warm, too, and needed to cool off, even though I regretted that almost instantly because it's the fucking winter. Figured you’d have an easier time touching me if I wore nothing underneath the sweater.”

Lawrence takes another step and is finally within arms reach.

“I’ll buy us dinner,” he says. “You can use the sixty for a nice lingerie set if you want, or maybe a few new books, but I have to get you back for thinking of how to dress in a manner that conveniences me.”

“You’re giving me four thousand dollars this month. I am not letting you buy dinner.”

“New rule, then,” he says. “Rule number four: in addition to the four thousand dollars monthly, I get to buy you dinner and gifts whenever I please.”

“You’re only doing that out of spite,” you say pointedly. “You said four thousand was the max amount you could give me while living within your means.”

“I said it was the amount I could give you, not the max amount,” Lawrence says. “Realistically I could afford close to five thousand, but I figured that spoiling you to some extent would come into play at one point or the next, so I rounded down.”

“Fine,” you nod. “I accept the rule. What’s your favorite color?”

“That’s a tie between dark blue, dark green, and maroon,” he says. “Why do you ask?”

You bite your bottom lip lightly. “While I am privy to owning a decent set to feel confident once in a while, I do want it to look so good that you can’t resist the urge to see what’s underneath. Your favorite color is the place to start in figuring that out, one would think.”

He puts one hand on your hip, a smirk kicking up the corner of his mouth. “I won’t be needed at work until nine tomorrow morning,” he says. “I’m going to make this worth it for us both, mm?”

You nod. All you want him to do is either start rubbing your clit while he kisses you, or for his fingers to be in your mouth again.

“Hows the oral fixation?”

“Still doing it’s thing,” you say, biting your lip again. “Why?”

“Be a good puppy for me and kneel, Y/N.”

You do as he says without having to think twice, becoming eye-level with his half hard cock and almost moaning as you look at it.

“What do you wanna do from where you are?” Your gaze goes to his.

Your tongue pokes out from between your lips, and suddenly thoughts of sucking him off cloud your mind entirely.

“Go on, puppy. Speak.”

“Wanna suck you off,” you whisper. “Wanna—oh my God. Lawrence please—”

“Do as you please, puppy,” he whispers. “I’m not gonna tell you no.”

You lean in, smelling him through his pants before you undo the zipper, button, and pull them and his boxers down, taking his half hard cock into your mouth within seconds.

“Good—holy fuck,” Lawrence moans. “Your mouth is amazing.”

You hum in response, tongue finding the underside of his length and setting a pace that clearly drives Lawrence a little insane. When a hand falls to your hair and he sets a pace of his own, you let him, just enjoying the feeling of his cock in your mouth.

He finishes in your mouth a few minutes later, and you swallow his cum without thinking. It makes him laugh even as he apologises for coming so suddenly, wiping what of it had dribbled to your chin after he’s helped you stand.

He presses his thumb against your bottom lip and you take it into your mouth, getting the cum off of it and grinning slightly when he thanks you for the deed.

He sits down on the long end of the couch, having pulled his boxers and his pants back up.

His gaze meets yours, and he smirks. “C’mere, puppy. Sit on my lap.”

You do as he tells you, sitting on his lap so that your thighs sit on either side of his. His hands find your hips pretty quickly, and all you want to do is kiss him, but you refrain.

“Did Aurelie offer to help, or did you ask?” Lawrence asks.

“I called,” you laugh a bit. “Defeating the hyper independence one phone call at time, I guess. Plus, she wasn’t working and told me to call her if I needed anything. My mind has been pretty fuzzy since last night, when I tried to think of everything I’d need to buy, and I called her to avoid having a breakdown. Without her helping me figure stuff out and then going with me to grab it I would’ve cried a lot more today, to say the least of it.”

“Good,” Lawrence says. “And you called me because you were alone, horny, and needing company?”

You nod. “I know our first—encounter—was the other day, but I just—”

Lawrence nods like he understands, and part of you believes that he does. “Can I kiss you, puppy?”

“Please, Lawrence.”

And then his lips are on yours, and he’s letting you press his back against the couch as your hands cup his face and sit at the bottom end of his neck, and it’s so, so easy to get lost in it.

Lawrences tongue darts out to your bottom lip while one of his hands moves from your hip to your clit, resulting in the sound of a hushed gasp befalling your lips. Lawrence uses it to his advantage, tongue finding its way into your mouth while he rubs excruciatingly slow circles around your clit.

“Lawrence,” you moan, desperately clenching around nothing in order to avoid grinding down onto him. “Oh, Lawrence. Please.”

“Not yet, puppy,” he whispers, pulling away from your lips just enough to talk. “You got a bit mouthy earlier, yeah?”

You bite your lip, nodding slightly.

“Well, I believe I made a point about there being ways to punish you that don’t involve pain?”

“Mm,” you hum. “You’re not going to be needed at work until nine tomorrow, which means—”

“Realistically, I don’t have a need to be home until around one, which means I have you until at least midnight, which is, what? Six and a half hours out?”

“Lawrence—” you whimper. “Please, sir. Please don’t make me wait that long.”

“Aw, you think using an honorific is gonna make me take mercy? Puppy, I love it when you address me as such, but you did this to yourself, yeah? You can’t tell me what to do, sweetness. I’m the one who does the ordering. Be a good puppy for the next thirty minutes and I promise, the punishment stops and the reward begins, okay?”

You clench around air again, nod and let him go back to kissing you.

He kisses you until your head is spinning, and when he pulls away, you find that it’s only been a few minutes. Your head rests on his shoulder as you catch your breath, both of his hands returning to your hips.

“Take my cock out of my boxers for me, yeah?”

“Had you kept the pants and boxers off, it would’ve been easier,” you sass before you can stop yourself.

Lawrences response is a nod, a kiss to the side of your head. “Do as I say, puppy,” he says. “Good puppies get treats, and if you don’t do as I say, you’ll just be punished until midnight, and when I leave, you’ll have gotten a free dinner but sexually? You’ll be dissatisfied for at least another few days.”

“Sorry, Lawrence.” You lift yourself off him and pull his pants and boxers down, waiting for him to do the last of the work before you sit on his lap again, hovering just over his length.

“It’s okay, puppy,” he whispers, kissing your cheekbone. “You’re allowed to stop hovering.”

“If I don’t, then you’ll—I’ll—do you want us to use condoms?”

“I got a vasectomy in October, and Plan B pills are a thing,” he says. “You said you were clear for STIs, so I’m not worried. Go on, Y/N, but only if you’re comfortable.”

You slide yourself onto him, letting yourself be split open by his length, watching the way that he reacts to it.

The way that Lawrence reacts has to be one of the most attractive things you’ve ever seen—he rests his arms on the back of the couch, and as soon as you’ve taken the tip, his head tilts back.

When you’re close to bottoming out, a long, depraved, drawn out “fuck,” falls from his gorgeous lips.

When you do bottom out, you let yourself moan, let your head fall onto Lawrences shoulder.

“Gotta stay still, puppy,” Lawrence says. “No moving, yeah?”

You whimper, biting down onto Lawrences shoulder in order to keep yourself from doing so.

“I know, Y/N. Twenty minutes until six, mm?” He laughs, one hand slipping beneath the sweater you wear. “You can’t react, either. No clenching, no moving, nothing. Biting, moaning, and whimpering are allowed, though. You’re cute when you get needy, so it seems.”

His hand finds your lower stomach and he presses down, and you have to fight every single reactive urge to do as you’ve been told. Instead, you moan lewdly, the pressure of your bite against his clothed shoulder increasing.

“Good puppy,” he praises, his voice a whisper. “Oh, you really are a good listener. You like how this feels?”

“Lawrence,” you moan desperately. “’M sorry about the bite—I’m scared I might’ve bruised.”

You kiss the area of his shoulder you’d bitten while he laughs.

“You’re just doing as I told you, yeah? The pain wasn’t bad compared to the other stuff I’ve been through.”

At that, you remember his foot, or lack thereof, and just how long he's probably been wearing his prosthesis, which just has to hurt by that point. But no, of course you'd completely forgotten about potential discomfort when horny and wanting, though it was something you had taken account for when you'd talked in not-sexually-driven situations.

“Shit!” You curse. “I’m so sorry—I just—”

“I try not to make a huge deal of it,” he says. “It’s really no concern.”

When he finds that you still look a little unsure, he laughs and presses a kiss to your lips. “It’s all right, puppy. I promise, I'm fine. Nothing hurts, aches, or itches as far as my footless leg is concerned, yeah? Just relax for me, mm?”

You nod, still feeling guilty. Lawrence presses a kiss to your forehead and the next twenty minutes are spent with him letting you thrust once or twice every few minutes, his fingers rubbing slow circles around your clit.

When six hits, Lawrence beams. “You’re allowed to move,” he says. “But don’t come yet, yeah? Wanna spread you out on this couch.”

You do as he says, setting a pace that’s just quick enough to make you teeter along the edge within minutes but not enough to come. When Lawrence has had enough, he tells you as much, telling you to get off of him and lie on your back.

You do as he tells you, watching him take off his shirt and tie like it’s a strip show. When finally his lips are on you again, he’s kissing your thighs and making his way to where you need him most.

Once there, he presses a kiss against your clit, then runs his tongue gently through your folds.

“You’re so wet,” he laughs. “You really do get turned on easily, mm?”

Your response comes as a half-laugh, half whimper, and it just eggs Lawrence on. His tongue attaches itself to your clit and you clench around pretty much nothing, one hand finding your nipple beneath the sweater while the other grips the back of the couch like it’s a lifeline.

“Lawrence,” you moan as his lips and tongue move down to your hole. You pinch your nipple between your fingers and Lawence laughs at how desperate you sound for him.

His nose presses against your clit and you grind against him, moaning lewdly. “You're using your fucking nose—ohmygod,” you moan, having a split second wherein you don’t care about how loud you’re being. “Oh, fuck, Lawrence—”

Although he’d only gotten divorced four, maybe five months beforehand, it’s clear that he knows what he’s doing—whether it’s muscle memory from the early days of his marriage or something he’d picked up in the time since his divorce, you’re glad for it.

“Lawrence—ohmyfuckinggod—” you grind against his face and he laughs, nodding slightly.

“Use me, baby,” he says, pressing a kiss to your clit. “Use my mouth, yeah? Don’t worry about anything, just focus on yourself.”

You do as he says, letting yourself set a pace while Lawrrences hands move up to your stomach.

“Fuck, Lawrence,” you moan, inches away from releasing over his face. “Lawrence—I—”

“Go ahead,” he presses his tongue flat against your clit as you grind against him and that’s basically the final straw—when he buries his face in your cunt again, you cum over his face with your thighs pressing against the sides of it, holding him in place slightly.

He stays with you through the aftershocks and comes up to kiss you once all is said and done, and once again—depraved but so fucking hot because you can taste yourself on his tongue. The kiss is intense but also everything you need to relax, and when Lawrence pulls away, you tell him there are wash cloths in the bathroom and that he’s welcome to take a shower if he sees fit, but you’re exhausted and sprawled out over the couch is the way you aim to stay.

He leaves your side and is back twenty minutes later with a damp washcloth, which he runs over your exposed cunt and then himself. He helps you get to standing and leads you to the primary suite, grabbing you a pair of sweatpants and a baggy sweater after locating them easily in your wardrobe. You wobble back to the living room while Lawrence gets dressed again, plopping into the rocking chair you’ve placed in the corner of the room.

Lawrence checks the couch for stains and both of you are surprised to find that there are none, though Lawrence cleans the area anyway before he calls and orders delivery to your apartment.

“I know we said no staying post-coitus,” you murmur. “But—you have until midnight, yeah? Stay for a while.”

Lawrence nods. “I’ll at least stay for a while after dinner,” he says. You stand, sit in the love seat. Lawrence sits down next to you, wraps an arm around your shoulders. “I do want to get to know you more—I feel like we don’t know each other as well as we should.”

You smirk. “I’m entitled to my secrets, and you are to yours.”

“Yes, that is a fair point, but part of me wants to know everything about you that’s not a secret, Y/N.”

“Don’t forget one of the first rules we made—you’re not allowed to fall in love with me.”

“I wouldn’t hate loving you in the platonic sense of the word,” Lawrence says. “That’s what I aim to do.”

You hum, press a kiss to his shoulder. “’Mkay,” you nod. “Loving me platonically is allowed, says the judge of whatever the fuck this is going to turn into.”

Lawrence laughs.

For a split second, you feel the urge to freeze the moment in time, to treasure the simple domesticity of it.

You want to stay in that pocket of time forever, Lawrences arm wrapped around your shoulders, your cheek pressed just above his chest, so blissful that nothing else in the world matters to you or him, so well hidden away from the rest of the world that nothing can find you or be bothered with looking.

You brush it off quickly—the first rule of the agreement had been that you weren’t allowed to fall in love with each other. You were not going to start falling for a man you could not have, one that would not want you in turn.

#lawrence gordon #lawrence gordon x reader #saw (2004)#saw posting #sawposting

11 notes · View notes

moonglowmuses · 11 months ago

Text

"hey, you're hogging all of the POPCORN!" adam playfully shoved lawrence before he cuddled up closer again. there was a blanket covering both of their legs, and it was at this moment that adam knew that he could not live without lawrence gordon. he adored him. he was proud to be his boyfriend. THIS WAS A LIFE WORTH LIVING, he wanted to scream at john kramer. he didn't get to be judge, jury, and executioner. not even in his memories. "what is even going on in this movie?" adam teased, knowing that lawrence enjoyed his ROM-COMS, behind closed doors. "it's so hard to follow the plot!"

@lcvenderhcze

#🐱 ( adam ) my name is very fucking confused. what's your name?#🧩 ( adam & lawrence ) don't leave me!#food tw #mental health tw #ptsd tw #abuse tw #violence tw #death tw #murder tw

5 notes · View notes

jigsawfcrged · 2 years ago

Text

WIP.

also, as much as i rag on hoffman bc i dislike him so much -- he loved his sister more than anything or anyone else and would've done anything to protect her if he'd known she was in a dangerous / abusive situation. before her death he was a relatively calm and level headed investigator and was always good at his job even if he wasn't always the most sociable of people. he was thorough and worked pretty well with other detectives and had good working relationships with the other detectives, csi and his boss. he wasn't planting evidence or cutting corners in his investigations etc.

even after his sister's death, he relied on the courts and justice system to do the right thing. it was only after seth was released on a technicality that he begins to spiral and veers to the not legal side of things. and while he was 100% fueled by rage and revenge the process of creating the trap, the frame job of jigsaw, everything was methodical and the product of a highly intelligent person. literally the kind of blade used (and later the analysis of the voice on the tape) was the only thing that eventually led people to believe that it was not actually a jigsaw crime.

that being said, the man is incredibly arrogant and as time goes by and he gets this blanket permission to let the inner darkness that he'd tucked away so neatly the majority of his life loose, he becomes more and more craven and more of his sadistic inclinations do shine through. he was never 'tested' (even the so called test that jill did for him was meant to kill him, so it wasn't truly a test) and he craves the mantle of jigsaw for himself - he wants that legacy, even if no one knows it's him behind it all, which leads him to swapping out john's note for amanda with his own so that he can eliminate her as a potential protégé. he doesn't know about logan, and i do believe he knew lawrence was involved because of the surgeries that went into some of the traps that hoffman was involved in, but i don't think he sees gordon as any kind of actual threat to him, but another tool in his arsenal for future traps, so not a direct threat to hfofman's 'inheritance'.

also;

i do headcanon that hoffman was raised in an abusive home, an alcoholid father, a mother that died early on in her children's lives, possibly from abuse or suicide, but he learned early on to curb his own violent tendencies in order to maintain the social expectations, to protect himself and his sister -- he couldn't afford to let them end up in the system, etc. so he had to keep out of trouble. i'm inclined to think that after his sister came of age, he probably did something to cause his father's death - maybe something like tampering with the dad's vehicle or something similar, but he would've waited until his sister was of age so that he didn't have to worry about them being separated or them ending on the streets.

i don't see him going into the military, necessarily, but probably did a tradesman job for a few years until he worked up enough money to start going to university part time and one way or another ended up in the police academy - still attending classes off and on until he obtained a degree or two, if only out of spite to become something more / better than his father ever was.

#BIO.#BIO. ( mark hoffman. )

2 notes · View notes

a-la-folie-et-plus · 10 months ago

Text

Live-blogging my first time watching SAW

- oh shit, starts off full on

- my phone’s on 28%, when it dies I have to stop watching because I’m not doing this on full attention

- NO HEAD! NO HEAD! (Early 2000’s gore is surprisingly bearable)

- why is Laurence Gordon kinda…

- I’ve made it through 6 minutes!! Only 1hr37 left to go and then I can say I’ve survived watching SAW

- what if he just…didn’t play the tape lol

- Adam! (The vine reference…it’s…funny to me)

- oh Lawrence KNOWS they’re gonna kill each other

- puppy dog eyes my beloved

- bathroom’s a lot bigger than I always thought it would be, honestly shit’s SPACIOUS

- if they could just waste as much time as possible trying to get this cassette player that would be great thank you

- honestly what did Adam do

- you could just slide the tape but go off I guess

- it would suck to be Adam, like imagine not being the main character, just being brought in for some guy…objectification

- follow your heart —> kiss Adam

- aww the heart on the toilet it kind of bbg, at least he gave them deco

- Adam why would you pass him the hacksaw. He is trying to kill you.

- great job Adam, now only one of you has a weapon and it’s the one actively trying to murder you.

- workers of the world unite, the only thing you have to lose is your…feet

- I mean, I think he died because he got sawed in half, just a crazy guess

- HE TORTURED A GUY BECAUSE HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF??

- maybe I’m just dumb but like how does the razor wire kill him? What even is razor wire

- that is not a jigsaw piece, that is a misshapen lump. Let’s not reach at times like these

- if I were him I would just have like…not picked up that candle

- cancelling Jigsaw for not normalising mental illness, I’m getting problematic vibes from this guy

- getting homoerotic vibes from him painting a naked man’s body with flammable liquid, like…did he NEED to be naked? Or was that just a want.

- hate to say it but Gordon kinda looks better all grimed up

- oh that’s that one guy! He’s in like every crime show. This man has Stable Employment.

- short break to flex my unshackled legs, charge my charger and turn on the light

- honestly this is still fine, more interesting than horrible

- someone survived? People can do that?

- how come she got the horrifying bear trap and all they got was ankle cuffs? Kinda sexist ngl

- make your choice?? I feel like it’s a pretty easy choice

- oh shit that’s a grenade

- so wait how did she survive? Surely that’s impossible

- girl now is not the time to faff around

- OH WAIT HE’S ALIVE!!

- she could’ve just killed him, honestly that’s on her

- I’m pretty sure she’s evil but girlboss, honestly

- here comes this fucking guy, Jesus Christ

- girl he did not help you let’s be real here

- lightheaded from nerves but I’m half an hour in

- my smart little detective bb Adam

- this is the most fun I’ve had without lubricant lmaooooo Adam tell em

- if he kills the daughter I’m gonna riot. I better not see that fuckass puppet right now

- he’s kinda a good dad, like that was cute I can’t lie

- is someone gonna ask the daughter what the man said to her?? I feel like you would definitely at least ASK

- I’m a good chunk through this movie and it’s only mildly unsettling, I’m beginning to think I’m just a pussy

- sneaky, ranks are breaking in the spacious bathroom

- I am simply not afraid of a man wearing a blanket

- if he kills them I will stop being able to tolerate this “jigsaw is morally grey” narrative, they did literally nothing wrong

- actually the child’s kinda annoying, why can she only make one noise

- did he only have 3 prior victims or did they only have the budget to show flashbacks of those guys

- I’d love to be an over-dedicated detective, staying back from drinks to eat shitty Chinese takeaway at my desk and stay up all night in a rumpled shirt, running my hands through my hair over ‘evidence’

- oop he knew they were comingggggggg

- in half an hour I gotta go cook my spaghetti

- if the puppet move’s I’m freaking out

- call me crazy but just shoot jigsaw the minute you see he’s gonna screwdriver lobotomise that guy? Clearly this mans is bad

- arresting him is objectively more important

- at least pull the hood back, I swear to god

- again, I cannot be afraid of this caped crusader, Dungeons-and-Dragons-ass villain

- short break for my mental health (mommy came home) then back to it and feeling strong

- rahhhh death metal as the killer escapes, I simply have to vibe

- oh he survived, that’s rad

- it’s zander!!

- the girls are fightinggggggggggggg

- glow in the dark paint are you fucking kidding me this film is so unserious

- so do Adam and Lawrence fuck or what

- I don’t know how to explain this but Lawrence’s face is so Lana del Rey genderswapped

- ewwwwwwww he’s so ugly in a suit😖😭😖😖😭

- oh lawd he crawlin

- what in the fuck is. That

- Adam choking is genuinely the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, genuinely why does he do that

- the acting is killing me, why is this a comedy movie

- Adam’s literallt just an urban photographer

- let me guess, jigsaw’s right there and it’s gonna show him in the flash (wow, crazy)

- come out I’ll kill you! - he says, with no weapon and zero upper body strength (I love my pathetic babygirl)

- how did time go that FAST, goddamn

- oh Jesus, kidnapped child moment

- ohhhhhhhh, shit boutta go DOWN

- I really thought these SAW traps were a time-crunch, in-and-out thing, it feels like these guys have so much downtime

- vigilante Adam arc

- is the picture of Lawrence drinking a smoothie really necessary??

- Lawrence killed a hooker confirmed

- it’s giving Nicki Minaj phone call

- why does Jigsaw, a stalker, hate Adam, also a stalker

- Adam’s just a girlboss trying to survive in this modern economy

- they have made no progress out of this goddamn bathroom, these guys are utterly useless

- how come everyone else gets these crazy punishments for running out of time and theirs is like…he just fucking comes in there and shoots you

- the I Need You was unnecessary and gay

- why am I suddenly feeling the urge to also watch the sequel

- could he stop yelling

- Adam is yelling because he is an empath

- nooooooooooooooooo Adammmmmmmmmm

- bitch the time was up!! He wasn’t going to let you see your wife and kid!!

- I appreciate the bit of fabric covering up his gross leg

- see, just like I said.

- get his ass, baby

- are they about to kiss

- why does he fucking sound like that

- why do I feel like he absolutely WOULD lie to him, that sneaky bitch. Tricksy

- That’s a bigass bullet wound

- so that’s not even jigsaw

- who the fuck is that wait what who the fuck is that

- I thought that was what happened to the key!!

- no way he lay there that still the entire time that’s crazy

- game over lmao that’s so funny he can’t be serious

0 notes

jinxthequeergirl · 3 years ago

Note

Hello... umm... can I request some Lawrence Gordon content please? Like... something fluffy?

Ofc ofc ofc i love writing for the good doctor so enjoy this little drabble.

You could hear keys jiggling from outside the door, the lock clicked and the door poped open. Usually you would be quick to perk up at the sound of your boyfriend walking through the door. But you couldn't bring yourself to even sit up today. instead you figured out a way to burry yourself deeper into the couch yanking the blanket higher up over your body.

"Good morning, dear." You heard Lawrence greet as he entered the room. You groaned in response. he chuckled and you felt him brush some hair away from your face, you sighed as his cold hand pressed against your forehead in an attempt to gauge your temperature.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently rubbing his humb across your cheek.

"Like death, what are you doing home?" You crocked out forcing a smile, he chukled again as he stood up. "I came home to take care of you. "

"Oh...where are you going?" You asked sitting up.

"How does soup sound?" He asked walking to the kitchen. "Lay back down and rest." You smiled at him. You did as he told you laying back down and staring at the tv that played its usual day time programs, all of which lost your intrest within a few minutes. You continued to glance at the kitchen then back at the tv, then to the kitchen again then to the tv.

Finally you huffed and brought yourself to your feet, having a coughing fit while doing so and pulling a blanket around your shoulders and wondered to where your boyfriend was busy throwing things into a pot. "I thought you where laying down?" He asked raising an eyebrow without even turning to you.

"I missed you?" You rasped giving a light cough following it. He smiled at you over his shoulder and stepped away from the stove top and pulled out a seat. "C'mon you shouldn't be waisting your energy standing like that." He lead you to the chair before grabbing a mug from the cupboard and filing it with hot water and a tea bag.

"How was your day?" You asked lazily bouncing the tea bag in the water, watching it bleed in a wispy pattern.

"Same as usual..." He said, you Hummed and blew on your tea the smell wafting back into your face as you did so. "Theres medicine for you on the counter." He added ladling soup into a bowl for you.

"What would I do without you Doctor?" You asked with a grin as he placed the bowl before you on the table. He leaned over you and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head.

"Who knows?" He joked sitting beside you, placing his own bowl infront of himself. You smiled at him as he began eating his soup.

"What?"

"Nothing...I'm just happy you came home is all." He smiled. "Eat up, before it gets cold."

A few hours later he found you asleep in the living room, the late night television programs casting a soft blue glow across your face. He sat himself on theother end, lifting your feet and gentely placing them back down rubbing gentel circles on your legs.

"Hey doc?" You mummbled sitting up to look at him, He hummed in response. You maneuvered so that your head was lying against his shoulder. "I love you." He lied his head against yours, kissing the top of your head. "I love you too."

#horror x reader #lawrence gordon x reader #saw x reader #dr gordon x reader

120 notes · View notes

samwis · 2 years ago

Note

6 Characters: Mark Hoffman, Eric Matthews, Jill Tuck, Daniel Matthews, Bobby Dagen, Lawrence Gordon?

Push off a cliff: Bobby Dagen (sigh. just. sigh)

Kiss: Jill Tuck (this milf deserves some affection, poor woman)

Marry: Mark Hoffman (oooooh i'm mentally iiiiill~~)

Set on Fire: Eric Matthews (die <3)

Wrap a Blanket around: Daniel Matthews (poor baby !!)

Be Roommates with: Lawrence Gordon (he'd probably be tidy and wouldn't bother me too much. maybe i'd get him to dad me a little bit)

Thank you Téa!!! :D

#my answers #saw #asks

2 notes · View notes

springloadedspirals · 3 years ago

Text

“you know adam? i think he should wear a choker i think adam would be much more apealable(?) the gen z masses if he looked like an eboy and he wore a choker and he went to hot topic WITH mandy of course. i think he should wear mascara. wouldn’t he be such a hot shot one direction hot boy if he wore mascara and a choker and he was just everyone’s favorite boy and the most murdered little boy in saw history and i think they should have been alive i think if they would let him hold one hand he he would gain 4 mental health for three days. and i think he would have a deersona. he’s the type of boy where if you were dating him you would be on a dark road and you would see him in your headlights and you would be like “that’s my boy” and he’s covered in mud and blood and i’m like that’s my guy gonna put him in a blanket and take him home in my 1992 (insistent about that) range rover (she doesn’t have a car) and i would just hold him by the fireplace and hold him by the fireplace and you have to remember that we’re already dating (that one whacked me upside the head) and this is only one of his midnight outings at this point i’ve gotten lawrence gordon and he’s always thinking about blood and he’s gonna kill an old man (?) with his diamond doctor tools (??) how does he not go to all his patients and say “i’m gonna kill you” “

- @adamslubricant while totally wasted part 2

i hope the old man is john

#adamslubricant #amanda young #the pig dbd #amanda young saw #saw 2004 #adam faulkner #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #lawrence gordon saw #mine

9 notes · View notes

blueberrypancakesworld · 1 year ago

Text

Our moment - Chainshipping - Saw

warning : fluff, kissing, smoking, implied/mentioned sex

Info : So this sweet short One-Shot comes from THIS beautiful picture all praise to @covencritter for posting the picture and the text. Because if not this would have not been written. So dear Saw - Fandom and dearest Chainshipper have fun reading :)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was peace and quiet between the couple lying calmly in the large double bed. Unaware of the life outside and oblivious to any alarm clocks they had set for themselves.

The empty wine bottle and the various objects scattered around them were just a tip of the iceberg for a night of fun.

A night to celebrate something to celebrate something they should come to. The younger one had stretched out a little like a starfish, his hand still holding the cigarette he had intended to light.

His husband, on the other hand, was lying almost like a dying man in a coffin, straight on his back with his arms loosely beside him, using his doctor's coat as a blanket that didn't quite cover his body, but that didn't seem to have bothered the doctor a few hours ago.

They were fine with the matter and wanted to sleep in if it hadn't been too long. If it wasn't already late in the afternoon and if it wasn't the day the couple were going to pick up a prize.

Until the next loud ring came not from the cell phone but from the doctor's beeper. A sound he knew more than well and had heard for almost a decade.

Knew it was an emergency and knew he had to get to work. A jolt and a murmur came from the blond who broke out of his rigor mortis and groped blindly for the device, still drowsy.

Only limited light penetrated through the drawn curtains and yet it dazzled the older man. A remnant of his past, just like the prosthetic foot next to the bed that he needed to walk.

Finally grasping the small device and holding it in front of his eyes to see something, it took him almost an eternity to understand that it was not an emergency but a memory, an exclamation and a request to get up.

,,What is it-oh no Adam!" what had started as a noisy thought process became a worry and a knowledge that in less than an hour they had to get to the town hall to collect their awards. The panic and adrenaline suddenly pumping through his body seemed to make him wide awake.

When he shook his husband awake, he found it much harder to wake up than he did. ,,Adam! Now wake the fuck up!" he shouted and pulled on his prosthesis to rip the blanket off the black-haired man and push aside the curtains.

,,Mhhh let's sleep," mumbled Adam, who had no intention of getting up for the next few hours. Instead, Lawrence decided to get ready first and take a shower to take care of Adam afterwards.

But while the rushing of the shower and the sounds from outside finally seemed to wake Adam, he was still more than beside himself. He had no idea what was going to happen today or why they had to get up late in the afternoon.

Instead, he calmly reached for his fire and lit his cigarette, which he took into the large kitchen. A glance at the pictures and articles on the wall made him smile.

Is the famous Doctor Gordon having an affair? A sugar baby or just a spontaneous date? he read one of the titles and made himself a coffee, still not thinking about what today was.

While the younger man turned to his caffeine and nicotine-rich breakfast, it was Lawrence who returned from the shower to the bedroom with a towel around his hips and grabbed his glasses before picking out a shirt and suit that would fit.

,,Morning...Doctor," he heard a murmuring voice from Adam and he jerked around. The younger man had leaned against the door to watch his partner get dressed and looked at him with a stunned expression.

,,How can you smoke now? Adam, don't you know what today is? We overslept," Gordon said hastily, slipping into the suit pants that had almost caught in his prosthesis as quickly as he could and sitting down on the bed.

He saw Adam take a moment not to be the quickest thinker in the morning and let out a ,,Fuck!" before inhaling the cigarette in one go and disappearing into the bathroom.

That's right fuck, Lawrence thought and hurried to the kitchen himself to down some caffeine to draw the tiredness out of his body.

His bright eyes behind his glasses looked tired and yet hurried, the ring on his hand with Adam's inscription jingling as he clutched the cup and drank it down in one go. Before hurrying into the bathroom to get ready and telling Adam to hurry up.

Which led to a disagreement that resulted in Gordon's actual blue tie getting water on it and him rushing into the bedroom to find a new one.

What didn't fit with what would? A question that drove him mad, but when he felt the kiss on his cheek and felt Adam next to him, he smiled slightly. ,,Here, take these to go with your glasses," the younger man said, holding out a pair that really did fit better.

Adam got dressed and Lawrence watched him more than once. ,,Your quick wit is remarkable" he said and saw the wink from Adam who reached for the walking stick and handed it to Lawrence while Lawrence held out the pack of cigarettes to Adam and the two took each other's names.

Walking out of the house together and hailing a cab, they both managed to stop at the last moment before the entrance.

Knowing that as soon as they got out there would be a flurry of flashes from the press and photographers waiting for them.

,,Ready, darling?" he asked, seeing the smile on Adam's face, who was nervous at first but now felt comfortable in the storm. With his husband's nod, Lawrence got out first and heard the cameras click. He held the door open for Adam, who stepped out after him.

He heard the shouts of his and Adam's names, heard the questions and couldn't help but smile when he saw Adam's slightly loose hair which, unlike his, suggested some other activity they had been doing. But when he put his arm around Adam's side and hugged him and they both smiled into the camera.

It reminded them both of their first appearance together at the beginning of their relationship, but the love they had felt then had become a marriage.

A marriage that would last forever between the older rich doctor Lawrence Gordon and his younger partner photographer Adam Faulkner Stanheight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@callmeklarise

#saw movies #saw 2004 #saw #chainshipping #lawrence x adam #adam x lawrence #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #cary elwes #leigh whannell

61 notes · View notes

voyeur-in-the-mirror · 6 years ago

Text

Alive for Me

Ship(s): Adam/Lawrence Character(s): Adam Stanheight ; Lawrence Gordon Words: 1,922 Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol ; Mentions of panic/anxiety attacks ; Ask to tag A/N: I’ve been writing this one all day I’m kind of proud of it enjoy

Lawrence was the only thing Adam was alive for.

He'd never openly admit that, though. His pride was too great for him to say that, because it would only let him say that he stood for himself, by himself. For the last twenty-some odd years he has been completely independent, doing what needed to be done to live and doing it pretty damn well, but for the last month and almost a half, he has lost nearly all of his independence because, from what not Lawrence but Dr. Gordon observed, Adam cannot live by himself in that shithole apartment. So, he took it upon himself to come on nights when he's able to easily lie to Allison and say he's going to the hospital just so he can spend the night with Adam and be there in person in case of a nightmare or anxiety attack instead of having to talk him through one through the phone which happened quite frequently.

But despite the reason his fridge is filled with food, his apartment’s warm, and he's not as alone as he used to be, Adam still refuses to call himself dependent because a man like him should be able to take care of himself.

Except he can barely leave his apartment without sparking dreadful anxiety in his system. And he can barely acknowledge the existence of his camera, and he can barely look in that old closet where he found pig head, and he can barely do anything without sparking anxiety so bad he ends up shaking where he stands and hoping Lawrence will pick up the phone.

Lawrence has made it a habit to do that very often, even while at work. Due to the severe mental and physical trauma he had faced, he had been reduced down to just paperwork duty until the hospital deemed that he was stable enough to get his original job back. And honestly, he was fine with this arrangement because it allowed him to be there for Adam when he was needed and for him to call Adam when he needs him.

Unlike Adam, Lawrence was somebody people were always dependent on. He always had Allison and Diana to need him. And now that they were in the middle of a divorce of a relationship he had left because ‘I'm no longer mentally stable for a relationship’ (which was true), he could spend time with Adam who, due to his mental condition, seemed like he needed Lawrence more. So Lawrence could continue feeling needed and Adam could continue living without having to go back to his voyeuristic ways.

When the divorce began going underway, that was when Lawrence decided to (ask Adam if it was okay to) move in. That was about a month after leaving the bathroom, and at first, much to Lawrence's surprise, Adam opposed the idea.

“I was able to live here for years alone before that damn bathroom, I'll be good, man.”

“I'm not a damn baby, I'm fuckin’ fine.”

“Dammit, Lawrence, no!”

But he moved in anyways. Lawrence knew that with every excuse and answer he was given, that his Adam was cracking, tearing at the seams, and knew that if he let Lawrence know that then his humility was showing and he just couldn't let that happen. Lawrence observed that in Adam and was easy to not to push him to talk or, generally, feel. He let Adam think he was fine on his own while secretly supporting him.

The first anxiety attack, courtesy of Adam, was only an hour after coming home from the week-long wait for police in what was supposed to be his tomb. He wasn't awake when he was found by police, having passed out from starvation and blood-loss, but when he woke up in the hospital the next day, he was all but screaming for ‘Dr. Gordon- where the fuck is Lawrence?!”

He had never experienced anxiety attacks nor panic attacks before. Sure, hes felt panic and anxiousness, but he'd never had an attack before. Finally back in his apartment, Adam was back to being alone and having nothing. He thought he'd be able to move on so easily from what had happened, and maybe even forget about Lawrence despite his screaming for him in the hospital and the screaming for him in the back of his head. He was proven wrong, though, an hour later when he decided to step into his own bathroom and realized, ‘Oh! I just came out of one of these! These rooms aren't safe!’ and was suddenly hyperventilating on the floor.

He didn't remember to call Lawrence, not like it was a rule or anything. But Lawrence did call him, just wanting to check on him, and the fact that Lawrence had his number didn't even cross his mind. Hearing the doctor’s voice brought so much relief to him it made him cry. Hearing that he was safe and that he, himself, was safe slowly but surely brought him out of his panicked state and allowed him to take a well deserved piss.

He avoided the bathroom as much as he could.

Lawrence did, too. When he was first able to come home after getting his leg and mental health checked, his first motive was to keep himself calm so he knew staying away from the bathroom would keep him that way. It took a lot of aggravated and fake-smiles from Allison’s part to just get her husband into the damn bathroom, but eventually it worked before the day was over.

The first time Lawrence saw Adam in person after the incident, it was at Adam’s apartment. It was when he first started coming over before he had to start lying to Allison about where he was going. She didn't want him seeing Adam often because ‘he'll remind you of what happened, it's unhealthy’, and Lawrence shot back with a ‘he's the only one who knows what I went through’ and the conversation ended there.

They tried staying friendly, he and Adam. Lawrence would come over, give him a free therapy session because even though he wasn't that kind of doctor, he was the only person Adam could trust and for some reason, he felt like he needed that trust or he'd be crushed, and he'd just be there for the younger on the rougher days, which was nearly every day since.

Their first kiss was only a week after Lawrence started coming around. He came over right after work, right after Adam called him telling him something along the lines of ‘Don't come over to my fuckin’ place again’ through panting breaths. He was mindful to not just walk into the apartment, knocking before he did, and was heartbroken to hear broken sobs coming from down a hall. He hurried along, his thoughts convincing him that Adam was somehow hurt further, and it nearly brought him to tears when he saw the younger laying curled up in his bed, shaking and trying to breathe. Lawrence was by his bedside immediately, cupping one of his cheeks and talking to him gently.

“Breathe with me, okay?”

“I'm here. I'm here and I'm never going to leave, I promise.”

“You're here and you're alive, you made it out and I'm so proud of you.”

During his comforting, Lawrence had gotten into the bed, laying down behind him and holding him close. His arm was first around his chest, then it has snaked down to around his waist which is where it made Adam really melt against him. Though he had calmed down, his tears couldn't seem to stop flowing. He felt disgusting and hated himself for needing someone to comfort him like he was a ‘fucking child’, but Lawrence had him lay down on his back to face him, and gently he tilted his chin up to look at him.

“I don't know why you won't let yourself trust me.”

This stung Adam because it was true. He's been let down, hurt, and left by anyone he's ever cared about and he didn't want to care about Lawrence for that reason, he didn't want to trust him, but no matter what he told himself, he trusted Lawrence more than anything.

Of course he did. He had to trust that he'd get him of the bathroom and he did.

Goosebumps flowed down Adam’s body and his stomach tied itself in knots. He knew he wasn't ready for this, Lawrence knew, and they both knew Lawrence wasn't either but they wanted it so bad, to be held and loved and comforted by the one person they could trust. So, slowly, Lawrence connected their lips and kissed Adam gently, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away Adam’s stray tears and make him feel safer than he had ever felt before.

After that kiss- that gentle, soft, loving touch- they were nearly inseparable.

Then there were nights of fighting. Sometimes it was frequent, and sometimes they wouldn’t fight for months. It depended on whether or not Adam was going to lock his emotions away, pretend he was fine, and tell Lawrence to fuck off. Lawrence knew this to be a defense mechanism, something he’d expect in Adam, but it was undeniable that when Adam would briefly act like he couldn’t trust him that it hurt. So, when he started seeming off-put and upset because of Adam, is made Adam get offensive.

“So what? Am I not allowed to be upset, now? I was left in the dark, alone!”

“And I came back for you just like I promised! Because I wouldn’t lie to you! Remember that?!”

These nights, or even weeks, resulted in Adam leaving the apartment for god-knows-how-long to get shit-faced. It’s not doubted that Adam assumes that they had broken up, so Lawrence doesn’t doubt that Adam is also sleeping with a random hooker to take his anger out on, but even that thought stings Lawrence, especially since he doesn’t have the proof. Just assumptions and self doubt that he’s much more easily able to hide.

It’s easy to hide because he can’t have Adam worry about him. That would mess up their dynamic and he can’t have that.

But when Adam comes back, barely knocking on the door, Lawrence doesn’t care about all that. He just cares that Adam is back home, alive, and to him again. When he opens the door and is able to pull his lover into his arms, burying his face in the crook of his neck, and apologize softly to him, his anxiety washes away and is replaced with blankets of relief.

When Adam comes home, it’s when Adam is truly able to sleep without triggering panic attacks from fear of waking up in ice-cold water and with a chain around his ankle. Because instead of waking up on separate ends of the room, Adam can wake up in Lawrence’s arms, cry to himself softly, tell himself that he’s fine, that Lawrence won’t let him get hurt again, and find peace knowing that there’s actually somebody who doesn’t want him dead and wants him very much alive. Because no matter how strong Lawrence acts for him, he’s fully aware that if he left, Lawrence would crumble because he needs him as much as he needs Lawrence, and he’s okay with that, and so is Lawrence.

Adam was the only Lawrence was alive for.

And unlike Adam, because Lawrence can set aside his pride, he’d admit that.

And it makes Adam feel better every day.

#Adam Stanheight #Lawrence Gordon #Saw I

10 notes · View notes