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sinha-ri · 1 year ago

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I know nothing about your ocs so please give me the rundown I NEED to learn about them but have no idea where to start

Strap in this is going to be long bc i will give you a rundown of each lil fucker I have gl on the read ive been oc obsessed for YEARS also warning for lots and lots of dark and tragic themes not a single one of my ocs has a good life (at the start anyway)

Lily Artesia

he is the blorbo bleebus, the guy i was obsessed with for over 3 years and has over 110 art (that number is just as much as i could find on this laptop alone and NOT including shittier sketches)

he's 28 in present time, gay and asexual, trauma heavy fella, at this point its what hasn't happened to him he has the worst luck, chronic pain, shit dyslexia so he cant read, and his left eye is missing

He is a runaway prince from the holy star kingdom. His family is blessed by the stars and he is their first ever 2nd child, as they were "cursed" to only have 1 child, he has been the only outlier ever. This made him have a few of the blessings rather than all (list of said blessings)

As a runaway prince, he traveled across the sea to another land where he became a mercenary/bounty hunter, worked in the black market, dated a shit ton of questionable ppl, uhh..false sex work that ended up just being murder (as in..he murdered) before being kidnapped and enslaved for a year. He was saved but more like ownership traded w the military he uh, i guess he served there for a while and got in a questionable relationship with Valdis (more on him later) Almost died in battle, was saved by Oliver and ended up recovering and having a fufilling life with Oliver that turned to marriage :D.

He's a lil sarcastic, a big heart, arsonist, selfless, pretty empathetic, likes to murder (ppl he finds irredeemable), just a caring lil guy that copes in the only ways he knows which is ofc murder, self harm (this takes a few forms) and generally getting defensive where he can turn to violence if he really thinks he's in danger (which doesnt help when he has major anxiety and ptsd)

TOYHOUSE if you want anything on tumblr, just search lily in the tags of my blog and you will not run of content on there

2. Oliver Artesia

He is a favorite but sadly doesnt reach blorbo status as lily and hero but he's up there

30 in present time, demi sexual and romantic, doesnt know he has ptsd, isolated himself for over 5 years lol

Born as a grand mage (i cant find my source talking about this so uh, basically mages here are born with 1 skill type but grand mages can learn any skill type thats all you need to know (and theyre rare)) and a branch of the Artesia Family (rant here lol). Oliver's mother always wanted a daughter and so she would dress Oliver as one, enrolled him in school as such, and prevented him from trying to question her authority or pretty much do anything himself. She was abusive and held him to high standards. This led to a lot of bullying and being unable to make any friends.

This got him to be taken into the custody of his uncle, but once he hit 18, he was enrolled into the military (war just started) as a frontline medic. He absolutely hated this job and found it pointless to save someone who will only go back out to battle. He ended up committing War Crimes by lvling a field with foe and allies, tried to cause war disruption on his own, then let himself be caught so he could be bewitched (also cant find where i talked about this but basically, their magic is nerfed and theyre unable to physically lie), he ranaway soon after and lived alone for over 5 years in a refugee village, becoming the village doctor, herbalist, and pharmacist (he isnt licensed but he knows what he's doing)

He starts off selfish, blunt in adding unnecessary details/comments, has a really cheerful and upbeat energy to him but he will say the most vile bitchy thing ever, over confident in himself, smaaallllll power complex, comforting in his gender (being male) but will roast your ass if you call him she/her (Intentionally)

TOYHOUSE he is also one you can find a lot on my tumblr if you just search up his name on my blog

3. Jonah Artesia

the fucking baby boy, protect him with all your life

around 16 in the present, queer, god someone help this kid he is drowning in anxiety, low self esteem, and separation anxiety that makes him feel like he needs to be useful

Jonah was born into a Mage Family but was given the short end of the stick by being born a Dark Mage (a magic type that is feared and pretty much banned from these mages to practice at ALL), he was abandonded when this was discovered (around the age range 10-12). Trying to live a decent life, he found himself attempting to be useful via being a guide. He makes maps and sells them, he can read the stars and find his way out of most forests and places. He was finally taken in by a group of teenagers that needed a guide, in which he fit in perfectly. He tends to keep quiet and never voices his opinions, doing anything to be a ppl pleaser in hopes they'll let him stay, which they do after they find out he's a Dark Mage.

in the future, he ends up being adopted by Lily and Oliver, growing in a healthier steady environment where they try to help him recover and grow as a well adjusted adult

he's a big doormat, way too kind and caring and way too selfless, will never speak up for himself, he just doesnt wanna be left alone again and will give up as much of himself as it takes to :(

TOYHOUSE uhh you can find some lore on him but a few of it can be dated

4. Alexander (i dont have a last name yet sobbing)

he's recently been rising in my mind lately, he is the local WHORE

currently 32, his sexuality is anyone he can have sex with lol, he copes with sex, suffers from insomnia, he makes the absolutely worst dog shit decisions when it comes to his brother its astronomical how stupid he is and how much of a King manbaby he is with the way he approaches the situation.

The first son of the royal family and elder brother of Lily, he is currently King. He is the reason lily ranaway and blames himself for the rest of his life, aiming to make it right by all means. He is a good and caring leader that attempts to listen to his people. But he's very two faced in that he's actually super tired and bitter in the inside and would throw all this away if he could. He hates his job, he hates his life, he's miserable but never lets himself show it nor change how well he does his job. Due to his first lover having been someone who only used him to steal money from him, this man has never fallen in love since. The only intimate relationship he'd have with anyone is through sex but even than its under a disguise. He has no friends, he hates other royalty and nobles, but he will never lash this out on people. The kingdom loves him and he puts on a serene and comforting smile for them to stay trustworthy and complacent.

he's very Fake nice and flirty, he tries to look under the true intentions of anyone who attempts to have a relationship with him. Hardly trusts nor listents to anyone, he's actually pretty awkward when he isn't being King or doing official business, he just really does love sex

tOYHOUSE you probably wont find anything much on him on my tumblr except from pretty dated things i probably scrapped and are no longer canon lol

5. Valdis Nevermore

this is an image of him in the future but i dont have any of the present. i would say hes a himbo but hes problematic

31, bi, hes got a hero complex, turns from occasional drinker to alcoholic real quick after certain events, complicated family relationship

Valdis is born from a family of knights, and being the eldest, he follows in the footsteps of his father and his ancestors before. He knows there is a problem in the system, but he hopes to help change it from the inside, but finds himself following their orders more than questioning them. Despite this, he does have high morals especially when it comes to treating others and commoners. He attempts not to use his status as an advantage against others. However, once he is in charge of lily during lily's time in the military, he finds his passion reignited to question leadership and develops a hero complex towards Lily, feeling as if he has to help/save him but ends up making things far worse than they should. Once lily is assumed dead, valdis deserts as a Knight, gets disowned by his family, and is on a constant run from being tracked down. Lives with regret and drowns in alcohol

He is a very helpful guy, very kind to all, and a bit of a loser lol. Charming and charismatic when he's not wallowing in pity, he really does have a good heart that is misguided.

he has no toyhouse and very little information is avaliable on tumblr

6. Lenn (might change her name so ill just keep her nickname)

i have so little woman but GOD am i gay for her, she is wife

35, lesbian, she needs time off and doesnt deserve the treatment she gets fr, get a better job or beat alexander up

a half dragon half human that was "adopted" into the royal family. It was more like taking her in when she was a child, raised as their older sister, but eventually assigned herself the role as the royal guard to the brothers once their parents passed away. She has dedicated her life in trying to protect the remaining family she has, yet it seems alexander hasn't seen her as such in a long time. He hardly listens to her advice and attempts to shoo her away with unnecessary tasks. but she wont let up, even if they no longer see her as family she will strive to protect this family from ending itself even if her worth is no longer appreciated

when around alexander she is serious, stern, and straightforward. Yet in a casual setting, she's rather quiet and wants nothing more than have a moment to relax, yet her mind can't seem to let her. It's been long since she's ever been in a relaxed setting away from the King, but she can get pretty bashful away from it all

she has no toyhouse and almost nothing on my tumblr LOL

two more before i let you choose if you wanna listen about another OC that i will just list and give even more basic information on or give yourself a mental break from the absolute OC brain i have

7. Sergio Cartias

who brought their weed dad, for some reason i have so little of him yet he is SO loved

30, uhh, i forget what its called but he likes fem presenting people regardless of gender (but he is married to someone who uses she/her). honestly my most normal guy his biggest flaw is he smokes lol.

born from a mage family (listen..i did not realize how many of my ocs come from important Line families istg this was unintentional but when put together it does not seem that way) this branch specalizes in information and history, making him following in the line and steps of becoming a professor/teacher, specifically on witches. while the job was accepted by his family, the specifications and how he teaches about witches is not. The reason being he was Oliver's only friend that really sympathized with his situation and figured bewitching a mage doesn't exactly mean they're horrible people, because he couldnt believe some of the vile shit they would say about Oliver. He lived a fairly normal life with his spouse and being a pretty great teacher that students grew to love.

He's very laid back, he really is Just A Guy but in a good way and has the least drama carrying. He sees his own family above all, but he will be there for his friends or anyone who needs him or just someone who wants to talk to someone. Oh and he's a lightning mage and knows how to use magic with just his hands! (this is relevent?? sorta?? in my lore using your hands for magic casting is the ultimate control sign, as most mages use wands or other mediums given they have easier control with them than hands which is harder to master)

he doesnt have a toyhouse either and you can find some bare minimum stuff on tumblr

the next character is from an entirely separate universe/story, as everyone above is part of the same one.

8. Hero

foaming at the mouth and rolling around the dirt he is THE blorbo right now omfg I CANNOT stop thinking about this absolute piece of shit person he is my WORST character i fucking love him rn

228 years old baby, aro/ace with extreme sex repulsion and generally physical touch repulsion, god he is so fucked up there is so much wrong with him, might have autism but unrelated to him being an asshole he just isn't neurotypical aint no fucking way (this was done unintentionally btw but certain parts of him made me realize oh, typicals do not feel or think this way usually)

Born half human/half druid, he was left abandonded in a village filled with mixed species. He never knew his parents and he was never given a name. the village he lived in was raided by knights and many kids, including himself, were captured. After captured, he went through what is known as the Hero Project, in which they aimed to find and raise the most suitable to be the kingdom's official "hero". Hero, being the most human passing, was given an advantage already. When tests were conducted, he passed with desired results (praised/rewarded for following orders unquestioningly, least hesitant to harm others) It is no surprise he was the winning candidate to be Hero. Throughout, he was still never given a name but instead called by his title once he earned it. their biggest gripe with Hero was his personality, but through time, he learned to mask his true personality and instead showed one of heroism and kindness. All his expressions were calculated depending on who he was speaking to and especially in public. However, outside of the public eye, he was a nightmare to work with

He cared for no one, he is pure selfishness, he will strike down anyone in his way and in fact enjoys killing to an addictive degree. All crimes he's ever committed were swept under the rug in order to keep his image clean, and so he knew he could get away with anything he pleased. He will torment you in any way that will gratify him and worsen you, be it physical or mental torture. He thrives on seeing the expressions of despair and betrayal. He betrays his kingdom and party members at the drop of a hat because he was simply bored. He betrayed the only person that he somewhat cared for because he refused to change, continuing a campaign of destruction as he used his status as Hero to confuse those who haven't heard the news of his betrayal.

He's cynical, calculating, and will do anything to let himself stay in control of his life

TOYHOUSE there is also so much more lore on toyhouse but ive dropped quite a bit on my tumblr recently

Time for speed rundowns:

Peter/Petros/Petra: The leader of golems that will do all in their power to ensure they thrive. the oldest golem that has little hope for humans, but isn't stubborn enough to put their people in jeopardy over them

Jairo Torrance: A farmer that is currently the closest to a friend Oliver has. He is generally nice but dislikes Lily given he was there when lily temporarily ruled the kingdom

Diene Artesia: the eldest daughter of the artesia family and the next in line as head of the family, she is a lesbian disaster and monster fucker

Azazel: a golem that is half sheep/human, he is mute and the 2nd oldest golem, but he keeps his whimsy and cares for Ophiuchus

Ophiuchus: a golem that follows azazel around, he helps communicate to others what azazel attempts to say and keeps him company and protection

Caide/Mushi: a demon working under a prince of hell, he had forgotten his purpose on the surface before coming to his senses and continuing the plan they had set in motion

Dylan: a half demon/human who was named "Demon Lord" by humans despite being far from it, he wishes to leave in peace but when push came to shove, he will do what must be done

#ocs #original characters #hooooo boy gl anyone #lily #oliver #alexander #alex #ollie #valdis #val #jairo #hero #lenn #sergio #jonah

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symbiodyke · 2 years ago

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I don’t think you’re a weakling for working in an awful industry that exploits it’s workers. Let alone in this ableist society we live in that gives two fucks about disabled or neurodivergent people. I’m also on the spectrum and it was really hard for me to work in retail (8yrs) it always felt bleak and I would have anxiety attacks for the first few years. I was always scared of leaving it too since it was all I knew and had experience in. I would recommend to try random job openings in entry position fields for low customer interaction jobs, or something you’re even curious to try out, but make sure the pay is good, you’re so much more valuable than society makes you feel. I know it’s scary especially because anxiety plays a huge wall to jump over with adhd/autism but I promise you there are other jobs you can find that will help you not feel bleak and and not make your mental health worse. I finally got lucky and after 6 months of applying I landed a job with a security company called securitas at a ‘low interaction site’ (not a lot of area to cover and about 50 employees to look out for, but I work graveyard from midnight to eight in the morning.) it’s usually dead for most of my shift, or I only see the employees in the last two hours of the weekdays I cover and none on the weekends, one or two at night but hardly interact with them, and I get to be alone in the security lobby and nothing happens there. It suck’s that i have a weird sleeping schedule and don’t see my friends as often but it’s done so much for my mental state. I feel very lucky and grateful since I no longer feel the awful dread I did in retail, but anxiety will never not be a part of me. It still has been the only job I’ve ever felt good about having since it meets my needs for not having to talk to a lot of people and getting the pay I want for having to leave the house lol. I wish you luck 🍀 you deserve better.

hey, thank you so much for this. I've been in a really dark place the past few months largely bc of my job so your message gives me a little hope. I'm gonna take your advice. I appreciate you sharing your experience and solidarity with me 💚

#words are hard rn but i wanted to respond asap <3 #(also so curious who this is! i never get anons! feel free to dm me if you ever want to!!!)

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bellshazes · 1 year ago

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peter today I've been arguing on twitter and clearly it's a sign I'm not meeting my needs in terms of meaningful engagement in making the world a better place. I applied to get training as a peer support worker, but if I don't get accepted do you have any other suggestions? [preferably something that can lead to work as opposed to only volunteering, bc tuition obvs doesn't pay itself]

-self actualization anon andy

holy shit best of luck I am rooting for you so hard!!!!!! Peer support specialists are some of the best people on earth, seriously, I have never met one I didn't love with every cell in my body.

With looming layoffs at my company I've been thinking about other jobs a lot and I fell into mine accidentally. I went from restaurant manager to home & auto insurance and got lucky with that, and then looked for admin positions and got one with an insurance plan that I only understood served foster youth after getting hired. When I was a restaurant manager I wrote about local arts things on the side to keep me alive, and that writing helped get the auto insurance job. It didn't help pay bills, but it made life livable.

I think there's a lot of good a social worker can do but you could not pay me any amount of money on earth to get an advanced degree in it and not even just because of your point about tuition. A lot might depend on where you live - in my state (Kentucky) I might recommend the Family and Youth Resource Centers (FRYSCies) or community based organizations like The Book Works or KY-SPIN that do educational advocacy and offer peer support-adjacent services that don't require PSS cert. Managed care is my field, and it's not the most stable but something like a Community Health Worker might give you some useful searches whether it's with insurance or not. Centers for Independent Living can vary in name and quality, but if youre US your state will have some. I wish I had more jobs I knew were meaningful or how to get into them.

And I don't know if it's relevant but... I didn't feel like a real adult until I was 27, and I'm only 29 now. I can't believe I used to just cold email people to interview them about the arts in my community - I was so desperate at 23, 25. I cooked potluck dinners every week for friends for a few years, even if it didn't matter what we ate. But I think my biggest strength is finding something in my job to care about impacting people - my ch*potle regulars, one of whom is still a good friend and also was a PSS briefly; my home customers who I could explain things to, help them understand their policies; supporting my direct care co-workers, finding ways to make their jobs a tiny bit easier. When you are hungry for connection it is so hard to stay hungry, but the older I get the more firmly I believe that every little thing you do to make a difference for somebody matters.

I may not know you, but if you're looking for meaningful work in places like PSS certifications, I bet you have it in you to find ways of making that difference. And you never run out of chances, even if you're twice my age you still have years to go to keep making a meaningful difference. I hope this doesn't come across as trite, because it's what I lean on when I feel like nothing I do matters, which has been about half the time lately. If you have people you care about, let them take care of you too; if you feel like you don't have that and are isolated, it may not be much but I am rooting for you. I mean that. Happy to share my discord as well, if you ever wanna connect directly - I also could probably swing some more specific recs for some US states. But keep me updated anyway, my friend. Dreaming bigger is more than half the battle.

#i read half this ask and LEAPT out of bed it rejuvenated me so much 💕💕💕#seriously anyone going for PSS has a place in my heart. so much love to you #work woes #long post #peter answers

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horseforeplay · 1 year ago

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weird question maybe but do you have recommendations for like. good part-time jobs for artists? i'm strongly considering working part-time instead of full so i have more time to focus on my writing but haven't taken the plunge yet

BEST OF LUCK TO U!!!!!! there r so many different ways people make this work. and i’m sure u know the odds r stacked against you if you do not have rich parents. you know your material circumstances better than me, a succession blogger. so. w/ that in mind. uhhhhh god to me it’s just about finding work that detracts from my creative pursuits the absolute least. like i’m at a place where i consider my creative work to be my career (ie: my skill level is professional and i make a little more money in comics every year but still need to do other things to make ends meet) so my relationship to the paying-my-rent jobs is not as strained as it was when i was attempting to build my creative voice from the ground-up while also working elsewhere. i am not good at that. some people can do it. personally (and i would not recommend this. i mean jesus) i ended up simply doing art full-time until i ran out of money. now i have the tiniest foothold in my career path and am able to do odd jobs without losing my mind bc i have A Real Thing i’m working for. SO to try and be more helpful: i recommend work for money that doesn’t utilize the same skillset as your creative work (like as a writer, i would avoid work that involves a lot of reading and writing because it would fry my brain. if ur not wired that way and find constant stimulation of the same type energizing to your creative freedom then ignore me lmfao) and seeking out a sweet spot where you’re doing something interesting enough to engage you but not so close to your field that you want to explode from impatience breaking in (like i work as a house manager at a theatre rn because i like theatre and have enough connections in the community for it to be pleasant and supportive. but i am not trying to make theatre my career. i know if i went to work at a comic book store i would feel like I’M A STAR PLEASE I’M A STAR every day and my actual comics would suffer for it LOL. though ofc i know plenty of comic artists who have worked/still work in shops and as editors etc and are fine. this is my particular ego constitution and u may be built differently lol)

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rosiefemme · 10 months ago

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alhamduli fucking lah i got a job somewhat in my field today! Im going to be tutoring kids which i think id be really great at :,) i requested to work w older kids bc i just find them so interesting and if i can instill more self worth into the teens i teach i would feel much better abt my life and work. every day i silently clean up after ppl and hand them alcohol and it just kills me bc everything i do there is meaningless at best and poisonous at worst.

i am honestly so excited to feel like the job im doing is worth something. i live in an area w a lot of disparity and the kids (and residents in general) deserve so much better. also im constantly explaining things as clearly and concisely as i can to myself alone so its abt time i bring it to others.

anyway orientation is tomorrow morn everyone wish me luck

#p #cmon career #fucking finally

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itsstraykids · 11 months ago

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hello hello! i had the absolute fuckall busy 2days, hope u didnt mind the accidental ghosting. i kept wanting to reply but i was feeling too tired to do it lmao. hello! hope ur doing well! i absolutely love the word coinkydink btw, im stealing it thank u. the fact!!!!!!!! that u do music production!!!!!!!! so cool!!!! consider me amazed yayy. ive always been unhealthily obsessed with chan's vocals, seeing him sing, esp with as much love and enjoyment/passion as he does is chills inducing to me. and yeah!!! his skills are so impressive, esp 3racha with rockstar album i very much agree!! i still cant pick a favorite song, and its funny bcs that's seldom the case no matter how much i love the whole album. cover me was played a lot tho (i was soo proud of hyunjin!!) and their vocalss yess!! seungmin han i.n leeknow and then ofc chan felix hyunjin changbin, they all did such good jobs, and their voice shined a notch brighter yes!! (mildly obsessed everytime changbin sings btw i am a sucker for it) their vocal heavy songs have always been some of my beloved!!!! never-ending story that i never get enough of, levanter and in christmas evel the way 24-25 was my immediate favorite! skz and ballads is smth mind-scratchingly wonderful, like always. what are some of your other favorite kpop groups?? what genres do u like as well, like i really love and find myself obsessed with k-indie, if we are talking korean language songs? what kind of songs do u like and listen to!! just wanted to know more abt u as well!! esp now that ik u produce too!! and just wanted to say ur art!!!! its so amazing and gorgeous!! so talented!!

^^apologies if i sound mildly incoherent (ik i do) its so damn cold outside both my face and brain have made it a mission to resemble chunks of ice cream so im!! thinking in circles p ls excuse. hope u have a good day an amazing week and great end of year and holidays!!

no worries at ALL dude the holidays are crazy, i really like this secret santa project but there’s so much else going on it’s also a lot 😅 yes! i’m stoked you liked rockstar. i thought it was so good, i was really in love with the songs/choreo/vibes and the members all seemed so happy! OMG YES Changbin’s voice is so good…why doesn’t he sing more it’s crazy…i have rewatched their conodoll episode a couple times because all their voices are just wonderful to listen to

i like 24-25 too! and that music video is just too sweet, it gave me cavities lmao. my fave kpop groups are skz, txt, and my OG (and forever) kpop band is shinee! i’ve been getting into xdinary heroes too. it seemed like everyone released amazing EPs this october-november, i was living for it. good music was raining down left and right.

i like so many genres in all languages! rock, punk, electronic, indie—i used to listen to a lot of k-indie (nell, the black skirts, the koxx, clazziquai) but now i don’t really know any more recent bands. i’d love to hear what your favorite songs/bands are!! i’m in a finding-new-music phase right now. i just found out about this new zealand band called the beths, their album “expert in a dying field” is a lyrical masterpiece.

thank you for your sweet compliments!! haha i’m trying to get better at portraits…oof, sorry it’s so cold where you are! bundle up and i hope you get some sun soon!! i’m in california so it’s actually really nice weather. exactly like the rest of the year. i do miss having seasons. but it’s also nice to go to the beach and not freeze lmao

best of luck in the final week before the holidays!! gonna be a crazy one i think, i have to bake stuff until my oven gives up and cries

#skz secret santa 2023

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siarven · 1 year ago

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💚💚💚 I can only second that. I've been here since ~early 2017, and I've gotten to know so many wonderful people, some of them aren't on writeblr anymore but we hang out on discord, some of them are my real-life friends now even though they live really far away, i haven't talked to some of them in years bc they left, i will hopefully meet some in person in the future, (and I am SO HAPPY etta and i finally get to meet in august!!!!! :DDDDD), and it's really easy to be upset about the progress someone makes when you feel like you supported them but it was a one-sided relationship. Or to compare yourself to someone else's success and only be depressed because their life situation is so much simpler than yours, or because they get so much more support than you because they're more 'main-stream'y.

But in the end, writeblr for me is first and foremost about making friends to have a good time with, particularly because some of the things i make feel very niche sometimes. Wirting is such a solitary experience, it's so wonderful to find people who like what you make and where you like what they make. Or even just to make friends, even if you don't like each other's things. Or even just to make friends even though you like their things but they don't like yours as much (or the other way around). Connections with people are so important, and at points i've felt similarly to you, anon, but in the end it isn't a race or a competition. It's so easy to be jealous over the progress a friend makes, and it's so easy to despair over external stuff (and so much easier to say that when your irl life is easier, too ._.) but in the end, I feel like this is a general thing that's also applicable to other areas in life. Whether it be 'why does my friend have so many other friends but i am alone' or 'why does [x] have so many followers for their art on instagram while i don't even though i'm better' or 'why does my friend have such an easier time finding a job even if i'm better qualified in the same field'. it's luck and connections most of all, and having friends you can rely on makes it all a bit easier. And writeblr makes the 'finding friends' part a lot more accessible if you aren't lucky irl <3

You look like a really happy and supportive person, do you have any tips about dealing with resentment esp. against other writers? It's something I'm noticing a lot in the community and other spaces I participate. Everybody treats it like it's righteous anger but it feels toxic. The moment they see someone thriving, the person gets hate mail and someone finds an excuse to bring them down. I guess people have reason to be hurt because everything feels hard and unfair right now. I'm also from a fucked-up third world country, I'm queer, my life feels stuck where it was before the pandemic, I can't get a job and I worry what it'll be like for me 10 years from now. But I kept saying to myself it wasn't so bad because it's really worse for so many people where I live and I tried to be upbeat... But then I saw a writer I know irl get published and I noticed I was feeling and thinking the same way those people I disliked act online. Angry at them for getting published when I don't have the skill or the luck for it. What do we do when that happens? Sorry if this is a pessimistic ask

Hey anon,

First of all, I'm really really sorry you're going through that, it sounds like a bad situation and I hope you can find some peace and stability soon. If it means anything, I'll be praying for you. <3 <3 <3

It's really hard to keep a positive outlook on things when other things in your life aren't working out. As you said, everything feels hard and unfair right now and you can't be blamed for feeling pessimistic and bitter about the way things are going for you. It's easy for me to act cheery because I'm blessed to be in a good situation with a good support network, and I'm aware that's something a lot of people don't have. You're incredibly strong for dealing with this and I'm proud of you for both surviving and trying not to let this bitterness affect the way you interact with the writing community. That's a testament to your good character and you're someone I'd like to have as a friend.

I think the biggest thing that's helped me not get bitter about other people's success is the "Holy shit, two cakes!" mindset.

I think this was made by @stuffman originally if "know your meme" tells true.

Life is a dessert table. Some people don't even like cake - some people are bringing brownies, cookies, tortes, pastries, jello puddings, fruit baskets, or whatever else suits their fancy. Chocolate cake ain't the same as lemon no matter which way you slice it.

Other writers aren't competition - everyone has their own voice and themes and stories to bring to the table. At the end of the day, I'm not trying to win over romance and grimdark true crime readers, and even within my own genre, if people like reading similar stories then they'll probably enjoy mine. A while ago I looked for comp titles to runaways and found a bunch of books that lit up all the same keywords with "sisters", "changelings," "seelie and unseelie courts", but they were nothing like the story I was trying to tell. I loved them all the same. Your words are important and meaningful and I hope this discouragement doesn't keep you from practicing your craft.

As far as publishing luck and money and time and skill goes: yeah the industry kind of sucks right now, there's no changing that. It might suck that you're not published yet, but hold onto that "yet". It's important. Hope keeps you striving, even if progress is stagnating at the moment. It's served me well through so many semesters slogging through engineering school when I didn't put a word to paper in months.

Helping other people can a tactical decision. I'm not published yet, nowhere near it. I started this tumblr (and the rest of my platform) for the sake of marketing and networking. One could argue I chat with the likes of @ashen-crest, @abalonetea, and @author-a-holmes for purely selfish reasons - if I help them out, hopefully they'll help me when the time comes. Maybe that's how it starts sometimes, but over time those connections become friendships so easily when people just want to tell stories together. I didn't have a lot of people to talk about my writing with when I was younger and I make no exaggeration when I say the community here on writeblr changed my life.

Friends make going through this painful slog of a life so much easier. I can't count the number of times I've cried in this past week about how fortunate I am to have so many people supporting me. From my sister who listened to my rambles off the top bunk every night, to my best friends in high school who helped me develop the bones of my world, to my college roommates and partners in crime who encouraged me to be more vocal about my work, to my boyfriend who patiently stood in lines for me at a book festival, to @siarven my first acquaintance here on writeblr 4 years ago, who I finally get to meet in person in a couple weeks. Maybe it sounds a little fairytales, but kindness truly does repay kindness seven times seven times over.

I'll keep writing my little fairytales. I believe in them. I hope you do too.

#idk if this is anything dklfjkdl ignore me if it isn't #rambly as usual #but tl;dr i love my friends and i am so grateful for this community #even if i sometimes feel like i'm at this point at least half a lurker bc of Editing Life #regardless #yeah. XD

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velvett-tearss · 3 years ago

Text

Black Tea & Blushes — L. Ackerman

summary: The two of you never got along, but there were times that even fire and ice made a perfect pair.

warnings: cursing, no spoilers for anything past early s1, Levi’s a little shit at first (surprise, surprise), mentions of blood (they’re fighting titans :-) lol) gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

genre: semi-canonverse, fluff, enemies to lovers (?)

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this was very self-indulgent lmao, sorry if it’s a bit messy 😭, <Hange, Connie & Sasha3 make an appearance bc I love them and you should too, hope you enjoy it <3

"Couldn't you have gotten a cadet to do this?"

You raised a sharp brow at the man, trying to keep yourself from flipping his desk over. "Would you have yelled at them like you just yelled at me?"

The man's grey eyes didn’t meet yours, but there was a scowl on his face. Despite his steely eyes, he didn't say anything back. Instead, he pursed his lips and turned back to continue his paperwork.

You huffed in an attempt to ground yourself after being yelled at for the past two minutes. You took a sip from your own cup of the tea you had prepared for him, letting yourself savor the taste.

"I don't understand." you said, tasting the earthy, black tea. "You said it was too cold last time, so I made sure it was extra warm. What's wrong with it? Is it too sour for you? I only added a few drops of lemon this time."

Levi remained silent, but you stood your ground, tapping your boot against the pavemented floor as you waited at his desk for an answer. You wouldn't let him win, not this time. Day after day, it seemed like he only grew ruder and ruder.

Your dislike for Levi Ackerman started the day you met him. He was still just a soldier when you joined the Survey Corp, and it wasn't long after that he become Captain.

He was mean, and he never seemed to care about anything, but God forbid you make a reckless move out in the field. It was as if all hell broke loose if you used a bit too much gas when slicing the nape of a Titan's neck.

"Not everyone is Humanity's Strongest." you had spat at him when he scolded you on the way back to the walls. That only earned you a glare, seeing as Hange managed to secure your safety. If it weren't for them, you were certain you would've gotten stuck with stable duty for a month's end.

You were glad he was nice to them, at least.

At some point, you got promoted to Captain as well. One would think that since you shared the same rank, he would grow warmer to you, but that was another one of your mistakes.

Everything about him rubbed you the wrong way, from his disagreeable manners to his awful way of speaking to soldiers. And, it was your disdain for him that got you stuck in this mess.

"A cadet could've done this." Levi stated again; you felt like you were being patronized. He raised a brow at you, holding the teacup in his hand. "A cadet could’ve made better tea than you.”

"Obviously not, Captain." you threw back sourly, snatching the cup from his hand. "A cadet could not have done this because if I hadn't interfered two weeks ago, who knows what you would've done to the poor man. And, all he did was make your tea wrong!”

Levi blinked at you, appearing bored with your conversation. "If you hadn't interfered, that soldier would be back with those good for nothing Military Police Officers doing what they're best at."

You gritted your teeth. "And, what are they good for, Captain Ackerman?”

His brow twitched slightly. “Absolutely nothing."

You let out a bitter laugh, placing the white ceramic teacups back on the tray you had brought in. "Now that you say it out loud, that reminds me a lot of someone I know."

"What an awful way to talk about yourself.” Levi threw back with ease.

The urge to roll your eyes at him was weighing on you, but you were stronger than the immaturity he seemed to bring out in you. "Captain, you must be growing old if you've already forgotten we're the same rank."

Your decision of keeping yourself calm in his presence payed to be of use when you noticed the slight pause in his pen strokes at your words.

But, you were well aware of how trustworthy Levi was in the sense that you knew he could always come back with something even worse than what he's told you before.

"If you were of any use, you would know what's wrong with your tea. I'm sure even King Fritz could tell good tea from awful tea, and he's the most useless of them all." Levi told you, pen moving over the papers in front of him swiftly.

"He could probably also tell a grown man from a spoiled brat," you told him, taking the tray with you as you left his office. "But, you make even that task seem impossible."

You had to stop the triumphant grin from growing on your face when you heard his faint scoff from the other side of the wooden door.

Even if you managed to snag the last word of that argument, it didn’t feel as good as it usually did. The only reason you involved yourself in Levi Ackerman’s nightly tea was because 1) you didn’t like the way he spoke to the poor soldier who got stuck with job of handling it, and 2) Erwin asked that you try and be a bit nicer to your fellow captain.

You only did it to keep your job, really, and you would never let your Commander think less of you, even if he did favor Levi. Even Hange had tried to coax you into not letting The Ackerman’s sharp tongue get to you, but that didn’t seem to work.

Levi and you would never be friends, if that’s what Erwin meant when he pulled you aside at supper a few nights before. It was a lie to say you didn’t admire the man’s impressive skills, because you did.

But, admiration and respect were two separate things.

The two of you were jagged edges of broken glass that didn’t fit together, and that was perfectly fine. You didn’t mind being Levi being a sharp piece of glass, just as long as he kept his corners to himself and far from you.

Erwin, as observant as usual, caught on to the solution to your problem, and he even made sure you and Levi would rarely ever cross paths when the Scouts were out on an expedition. The two of you worked on opposite sides of the formation.

The only time you would ever work together would be if there were no other options, but both of you were reliable in your own senses: him with his... whatever he called it, and you with your wits.

You didn't mind being farthest from him, and if it were up to you, you'd go even farther.

“Hey, you got new glasses.” you stated, noticing the new pair of brown frames that Hange wore the morning as the Scouts waited for the signal to begin the expedition.

“Oh, don’t remind me.” they said with a frown, holding the glasses in their hands. “Last night, Moblit and I were doing some research, and someone must’ve stolen my glasses because I couldn’t find them this morning.”

“Stole? Isn’t that a big accusation?”

They let out a hearty laugh. “It is! That’s why I’m saying it!” Hange replied, golden eyes widened at you in exasperation. “I’ve been stuck with these, and they’re too big for my face. All they do is fall off.”

“So maybe don’t wear them?” you wondered as you caught a glimpse of the dark head of hair you knew too well. “What’ll you do if you lose them out in the field? Better safe than sorry.”

“I wish, but I’m as blind as a bat without them.” Hange reasoned with a sigh before quickly composing themselves. “But, now that you mention it, I never did mind a challenge.”

The smirk growing on their face was one you didn’t quite like. Before you could talk some sense into them (if that were even possible) the signal went off to begin the mission.

They gave a wide smile and a thumbs up as a good luck token. "Don’t do anything crazy!” you called out when the two of you parted ways, taking your squad with you. “I mean it, Hange!”

Hange waved you off, charging in faster in their horse. It was up to poor Moblit to chase right after them.

Your squad remained close together for the majority of the mission. There wasn't much to do on your end of things, which was a relief. At some point, you decided to stop for a quick break before pushing forward.

If you were able to see five mintues into the future, you would never have let your squad talk you into taking a lunch break. Just as you were relaxing a bit, there was an Abnormal coming from the thick trees.

Your sense of smell wasn't as skilled as Miche, and if it weren't for one of the younger cadets on your squad who had a keen sense of hearing, you all would've been Titan food.

It didn't take long for you to spring into action, your squad following suit. You made sure to use the plans Erwin had issued out on previous Scout meetings.

When the Abnormal finally made it to where you and your squad stopped, the beastly creature managed to catch one of your soldiers in midair. As the young boy was raised in the air, his stomach couldn't contain his recent lunch.

Gravity works in wonders, you thought when his earlier lunch fell onto you with a splat! You couldn't blame the poor boy; it was better upstairs than downstairs. As terrible a feeling it was to have chunky vomit all over you, you knew it would be as even worse feeling if the boy died under your care.

Your squad got to him before any damage was permanent, at least physically. When the killing blow was done, you tended to your soldier. He muttered out apologies for having thrown up on you, but you were merely in the line of fire.

"It's okay, Connie." you reassured him after pulling off your green cape that had been soiled in aid to shield you. “I’d rather it be your lunch on me than your organs.”

You ordered that he ride with your other cadet, Sasha. He let out a pained laugh at your words, leaning against her on her horse. She scolded him for “wasting so much food,” to which lead to their silly banter, which you didn’t mind as long as they were safe.

As unfortunate as it was, that incident wasn't the last of it. There wasn't much time between Connie getting his ribs crushed by a Titan and the numerous amount of red flares that were being shot into the air. The amount of red powder in the sky was enough to cast a shadow of worry over you.

By the time your squad made it to where the red flares had been signaled, it was a mess. Abnormal and Pure Titans were ambushing the rest of whatever was left of the Survey Corp. Your squad wasted no time in following your orders as you made a beeline for the trees where a group of Abnormals were huddled together.

When you finally got a good look at the scene in the forest, your sight was met with Titan smoke and blood of fallen comrades. It was a disaster, as it always was. But you knew, where there was smoke, there was definitely fire.

And, that fire was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

He looked ablaze, nothing but a flash in the distance. Slicing Titan limbs as if they were merely flowers in his way, Levi Ackerman was kicking ass. It was in moments like this — where he looked like the answer to all the prayers of the people inside the walls — that you wondered if you truly hated him all along.

“Section Commander!” Moblit cried, chasing after Hange as they swung on the highest tree of the forest. It seemed as though they forgot all about how loose their glasses were as they did a number of twirls in the air. His voice was enough to snap you out of your trance and assist your fellow comrades.

You managed to fight off three Pure Titans and two Abnormals for what seemed like forever. It might’ve been even worse if not for Connie Springer’s lunch all over you that acted as Titan Repellant.

Perhaps you would tell Hange of your new discovery, but every time you managed to get close to them while fighting off the Titans, all they did was badger you with questions upon questions.

“Are you sure you haven’t you seen them?!” Hange cried for the fifth time, eyes squinted at you from their branch opposite you. Moblit was fighting off a creepy Abnormal with ugly teeth a few feet from you.

“No, I haven’t! And, didn’t I tell you your glasses would fall if you took them with you?!” you shouted back from your place on the tree before taking a breath to try to slice the neck of your second Pure Titan. “Go back to the wagon, Hange, before you get yourself killed!”

They huffed and puffed, but they let Moblit guide them to the wagon to wait until the rest of the Scouts could find a moment to retreat back to the walls.

After finally slicing the nape of your final Titan, you looked over to where you had last seen Levi. Only, he was nowhere to be found. A panic set in when you couldn’t find any sight of him.

“Captain?” you called out from your place on a tree branch where you were catching your breath. You squinted your eyes to get a farther look, but it didn’t help that much. “Captain Ackerman, are you there? Do you—”

But, that’s when you felt a jostle of wind hit your back. You turned quickly to see the dark-haired man swinging through the trees, holding an unconscious Oluo.

You followed him, figuring if you took his squad member off his hands that Levi would have a better chance of taking down more Titans. Maybe even with a man who weighed far more than himself in his hands, Levi could still have a better chance than you.

“Captain, I’ve got him. I’ll take—”

But, Levi wouldn’t budge. It was like he wasn’t listening to you, and you didn’t know if it was by choice or coincidence. You huffed and rushed quicker to help him in carrying Oluo.

Maybe it was just your luck, or maybe it was just his, but right before you managed to reach him, a Titan’s jaw came from below him, wide and ready for lunchtime.

There was nothing for him to do, not with his hands full. Surely he knew that from the way his grey eyes finally broke through from that awful void he’d placed you in, the one where all you ever got from him was scoldings and insults and cold stares that often made you wonder if he actually did hate you.

And, for the first time, you saw panic flash through his grey eyes, his life flash before his eyes.

“Levi!” you cried, using the rest of your ODM gear’s gas to catch up to him. You knew if he were to survive such an event, he would scold you for wasting your gas on an old lump like him.

But, for once, Levi had something to say about you that didn’t regard your incompetence to make decent tea or your recklessness that spurred you to use all your gas just to save him and the bullheaded, baboon by the name of Oluo.

It was your astonishing speed.

You got to the two men right before the great wide jaws of the Titan could snap closed and swallow the three of you for its meal, which Levi had to admit (but probably never would) was quite impressive.

“Shit!” you hissed out when the three of you landed on another tree branch. As quick as you got to the branch was as quick as Miche was to come and ensure your safety, slicing the Titan’s nape with ease.

Oluo was still unconscious and a little bloodied up and battered, but he was safe.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Levi yelled, voice slightly hoarse from everything that had just happened. His hair was a mess, and you held back a laugh at the sight of him. “Why— why would you? I mean, what— and, why do you smell like—”

“A thank you is perfectly fine, Ackerman.” you coughed out, catching your breath from the overexertion you just forced yourself through. Carrying two grown men was tough, especially when it was between life or death. “As for the smell, one of my soldiers threw up on me.”

Levi blinked at you, his expression consisting of disgust and confusion. “What?”

“My soldier. He threw up on me earlier.”

“I heard you the first time.” he told you, blinking quickly as if it were going to grant him some clarity. You didn’t know if his confusion was from your act of saving him and his squad member or from not knowing what to say to you after.

He looked funny, with his hair that of a bird’s nest and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Did you hit your head on the way down?”

“W-what?”

“Your head? Did you hit it?”

“No, I-I’m fine.” he scrambled upright, finding purchase on the unconscious Oluo’s shin. Your eyes flickered to where his hand was placed, and he snatched it right off immediately, burning a deeper shade of pink.

“Oh.” you muttered, holding back a chuckle. There was no way Levi was without a concussion, not with the way he was acting all of a sudden: stuttering and turning pink on you. It was a wonder you caught up to him before he collapsed.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Captain?” you asked again, fixing your uniform before getting to your feet. You wobbled a bit; Levi raised a brow at you. “You look sick. Why don’t you sit in the injury wagon for a bit on the way back? Just in case.”

He waved you off, standing on his two feet as well. You didn’t want to cause a fight, not right after what had just happened and not outside the walls, so you decided to say nothing about his seeming concussion.

The two of you lifted Oluo off the ground, blood seeping from the side of the man’s mouth. “Is it his ribs? Was it an Abnormal? They were awful today.” you questioned, looking to Levi for answers.

“He bit his tongue, again, before ramming into a tree.” Levi told you, averting his gaze from you as he shifted the man against his shoulder for a better grip. “He said something f-fell from the sky.”

You nodded, letting yourself chuckle. “What could it’ve been? Bird shit?”

Levi shrugged at your words.

He was far too quiet for your liking. Maybe he did have a concussion. It wouldn’t be good if he rode back like that. Perhaps if you spoke to Erwin or Hange about it, one of them could convince Levi to get checked out once you got back to the walls.

The two of you managed to get back to the rest of the Scouts safely. You helped Levi placing Oluo in the wagon with the wounded and the fallen while everyone else was getting accounted for.

All the while, Hange was trying to persuade Erwin into letting them form a search party for their glasses that had fallen while they were swinging on the trees.

Though you were straining to listen to their conversation, you were more than certain that Erwin would never allow such a thing, but you had to admire Hange’s efforts, as fruitless as they were.

“Thank you.”

You snapped your head to Levi.

He refused to meet your gaze again, busying himself with readjusting his soldier’s cape. If not for the obvious step into uncharted territory between the two of you, you would’ve commented on the rosy blush he adorned.

Suddenly, you were overcome with a laughter, waving him off with your hand quickly. “I was just joking about that, Captain. Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but I’m just surprised you actually—”

He scoffed, the expression on his face shifting to one of impatience. “Don’t be a brat. Just take the compliment.” Levi huffed out, visibly annoyed with your chatter.

A look of shock overtook your face. “Oh, so you’re complimenting me? Why didn’t you just say so, then?”

“Oi, that’s not what I meant—”

“No, it’s fine. I heard you, loud and clear.” you interrupted, smiling widely at him. “You’re oh-so very welcome, Captain Ackerman, and if you ever need me to save your ass again, you know where to find me.”

Levi opted to say nothing back, merely shaking his head at you when you gave a lazy salute and started back to the other side of the formation where your horse and squad awaited you.

“Besides,” you shrugged, turning back for a moment to catch him looking at you. “Who else would teach me how to make tea?”

note: I don’t think I specified it, but Oluo was knocked unconscious bc some object (Hange’s glasses) fell from the sky lmao 🐸

#snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #aot x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman scenario #levi ackerman imagine #attack on Titan #snk x y/n

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zarafey · 2 years ago

Text

Afaik im a student on literally the opposite side of the world from you and it's exactly the same here.

I think I had a bit of luck with my high school bc we were taught to be very self sufficient and not ask many questions/ask for any help (which has its own issues but that's another topic)

Now in uni so many of my class mates ask the most obvious questions (at least for me). Asking how to do assignments and wanting very detailed step by step instructions bc the fear of doing something wrong is just that big. But also because some school do basically spoon feed their students and well... Coddle them a bit too much.

There was this one assignment in a statistics class that a lot of people struggled with bc the professor didn't explain the statistics program in depth and some numbers in the excel file got mixed up (excel turned it into a date instead of a number etc) and the people were unable to do this assignment. (the assignment was actually incredibly easy because he did provide all answers in a different document where you could look up how to get to the answers for your own numbers)

I started that assignment and had no idea what I was doing. I literally just opened all documents and tried out stuff until I understood what I have to do to get the answers.

Half the class got together and wrote a complaint to the student administrator of our class about how this assignment was unfair bc so many excel files were 'unusable' etc. (there were a lot of people who wrote to me about their issues bc I posted in the group chat that I thought it was fairly easy. Most of their problems were solved by a 5 minute Google search).

And that's not the only time something like that happens in my class. My class mates also prefer going over the professors head and complaining to the administration first thing despite them having told us multiple time to talk with the professor first.

I always thought one of the great strengths in my generation was the ability to Google and easily find information for ourselves. Apperently that's not the point because in university it seems like Noone wants to find solutions themselves and everyone just wants instructions by the professors.

There is also this distinct lack of trying things and 'fucking around' without a prompt or an instruction. It seems like everyone's creativity and curiosity just got stamped down a bunch. Many people in my class think im some genius with statistics, meanwhile I just spend some time with the data and try out whatever idea I have and use the internet if I don't already know how to get where I want.

Just last Semester we had a lecture about education and psychology which was very interesting. Because the lecturer talked a lot about the effects the current school system had on kids and you could see all those effects playing out live in the lecture as well. He talked about how kids curiosity got pushed down and when people raised their hands they didn't ask questions that could lead to discussion but questions about which page in the book this is or if this is relevant to the exam.

There are a few people in my class who still have this 'academic spirit' and this curiosity and interest. But it's kind of sad that when it comes to discussions only a handful of people actively participate. (we are also not that big of a class. 40ppl in total and around 20 sitting regularly in lectures).

I really wonder if this is all about the current school system and how much of this phenomenon is also coming from the 'academization' of today's world. A lot of people who don't actually want to go to university still go because it's socially expected of them. In Austria we have this concept of apprentice jobs, where you get vocational training that is very praxis oriented and come out as a fully qualified professional in that field. It's jobs like carpenters, cooks, painters, mechanics etc. And every year less people go into these apprenticeships because their social 'value' is seen as less (even if the government is trying really hard to make them seem appealing to people).

There's also these 'job orientied schools' where you come out as a graduate and are qualified to go to university, but you also have a full professional education as well. With those you can get jobs like acountants and stuff to do with it and mechanics and gastronomy and tourism and kindergartens and administrative work etc. It used to be that people went to these schools and then started work. Did some further training for some more specializations etc but those are still very different from the full academic experience I think.

Nowadays almost every graduate from these schools goes to university, because it's what's expected of them. And there's so many new university paths that sometimes don't make sense at all because you just do not need academic training in those jobs. So now you have all these people that just wanna be idk a physiotherapist sitting in these classes and learning how to conduct studies, how to write academic papers, and a wealth of theoretical knowledge they are almost never gonna need in the day to day job.

You have people studying Psychology (where there is such a big focus on research and statistics etc) even though they want to be psychotherapists (which is something different in Austria and also where the education doesn't have that big of an academic focus).

So yeah I don't know how it is in other countries, but I think this low academic spirit in so many students is definitely to blame on the current school system. But maybe also partly to blame on the fact that academia is just... not for everyone and there's a lot of people being 'forced' into academia that don't want to be there (which is literally not to say that academia is somehow better than everything else. On the contrary, non academic jobs are literally the backbone of society and without them most things would just colapse).

I've taught the same couple classes for a few years, and each term the percent/volume of questions about the assignments has gone up, based on the same (or more!) starting info in the outlines and rubrics. Students are so focused on getting The Right Answer and doing things Right that they don't trust their own judgement and ask a ton of questions to make sure they're doing things right or want an excruciating level of detail.

And honestly? It's exhausting and a little frustrating.

I want students to succeed and feel confident in themselves, but I also don't want to be holding the hand of whole ass adults and telling them which specific passages in the textbook are the most critical to focus on and that yes they're on the right track with that analysis or that it's fine to interpret as they've done or that yes when we say apply the concepts from class those are the concepts we mean and yes when we say make a critical judgment we do expect you to apply critical thinking and evidence and that's exactly what it says in the assignment outline and -

I know it comes from a place of anxiety and it's how they're trained so I don't put this frustration back on the student but as an educator, it feels like a certain amount of bullshit to be teaching graduate level classes with the same degree of hand holding I would have sought as a student in *maybe* my first term of uni but realistically only sought early to midway through high school, if that.

The kids (and many of the adults) aren't all right, y'all. And the burn out and burden this places on everyone else in the system is just as much of a problem.

#Well that got longer than I expected #I hope it's all understandable

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mxvladdy · 4 years ago

Note

I would like to request! Can I request? Well I wish for you to consider what type of person/what kind of situation would cause the brothers to make a pact with someone. Maybe even what they would request in exchange? This can be before or after they met MC. With that out of the way, I totally binge read all of your works after my sister gushed to me about the True Form series, and just thank you??? It made me really happy reading them and it's always impressively detailed and well thought out.

Awww thank you! I’m glad it’s rave-worthy! I plan to add to it soon bc it was an absolute riot to write and research for lol

And wow this one is a toughie! I’ve actually never thought of what would make them want a pact! Hope ya like it!

Lucifer- Pact of Success

Absolutely the hardest brother to do business with, but that is probably a good thing. He is incredibly selfish with his contracts. Sure, they’ll benefit from his pact mark, but he will get the most out of it. Aside from MC he only takes requests for contracts from the human “elite”. They make wonderful feathers in his cap.

But also he takes some enjoyment in breaking them. They always get so cocky with his contracts thinking that they have him on the ropes and at their beck and call. It gives him a good chuckle, humans are so brazen considering their very short lifespan.

He destroys them slowly over time- all the little minutia he peppers in his legal bindings adds up. Not that his normal clientele ever read the fine print. But he designed it that way to make sure they don’t. All their requests are the same and so simplistic. Big boats, fancy cars, climbing the proverbial ladder faster than their friends or enemies - blah-blah-blah. At least the paperwork is easy to complete.

Very rarely does he find a contract he is excited to make. Those contracts are given to artists and craftsmen he sees potential in. He loves good art, and every artist should take pride in their work.

When it comes to the “price” of his pact it is worryingly simple. All he wants is some of their time. It sounds simple, and it is. Which is why it’s dangerous. The contract doesn’t specifically say how or the rules of it. How he takes your time is completely up to him.

Sometimes he simply comes for a drink and to ask how business is going. Or with the pacts he gives a damn about- he pops in to see progress on their artist visions or listen to their latest musings.

Other times if he grows tired of his pact holders’ ever-growing demands or ludicrous requests he comes and takes time right out of their lifespan. His visits leave them weak and fatigued though they can’t place why. He is a slow siphon of death and they are too foolhardy to notice. If he is feeling especially cruel, or sentimental he takes memories, things that a demon generally wouldn’t want.

Time with family, the first time they met the love of their life, a child’s birthday. He takes them all and leaves them with only a blurry recollection in his wake

When MC crosses his path though he is very apprehensive. He doesn’t want a pact or anything that could jeopardize Diavolo’s upcoming plans. But they make his skin itch with want. He doesn’t want them to be another trophy on his wall. He wants a mutually beneficial pact, one that almost leans in their favor and it grates him. Should/ when a pact is made he won’t use his powers on you as then he would have to take something in return. Instead, he takes his time and coaches them to be successful by their own right, though if he has to eliminate some obstacles- well they don’t need to know that.

Mammon- Pact of Riches

I love his man with all my heart, but even when he isn’t losing bets or getting tricked into pacts he still isn’t the most selective with who he conducts business with. He is the avatar of greed, after all. I guess it comes with the territory.

He scouts for already wealthy humans or people with a good head for numbers and is money smart. Some are too smart to deal with him, knowing that whatever monetary gain they are granted from him will backfire in the end (or their mama’s taught them not to make deals with strange demons). But a sucker is born every minute, and he has nothing but time on his hands.

His pacts are pretty simple and upfront. Sign on the dotted line and they get some of his wicked gamblers’ luck and more riches than one human life span could do much with. While he gets a glorified accountant and a nice percentage of their profits. It’s a win-win… for him.

See he forgets to mention that there are two sides to every coin, and his flip side is particularly detrimental to one’s health. He just so conveniently glosses over that his luck will wear out over time depending on how frequently the pact holder uses it.

But the hunger for more doesn’t. If anything that particular sensation grows into an all-consuming fire in the pit of their pitiful guts. It forces them back into the seedy basements or griming gambling halls. One more roll, one more stack of bills, just one more time and they will hit pay dirt surly! But the losses just keep coming. If one of his pact holders ends up face down in a ditch after one too many bad hands and uncontrollable greed… well ain’t nobody’s fault but their own.

He has a softer spot for humans that seek him out and treat him like a living being instead of some tool to be tossed around at will. It’s refreshing. He will actually take some care with these pacts and tell them to temper their use of his magic so they can get the most out of it in the long run. They still might run into misfortune and he is genuinely sorry for that but there is only so much he can do in the end.

With MC he doesn’t even tell them about what his pact can do or how to use it. He doesn’t want anything bad happening to his human. If they want something tell him he will do it himself no magic or pact summoning required. He wants to keep them happy and healthy for as long as his lifespan will allow.

If MC should find how to use his pact mark he will get pissed. Not so much at them but the situation in general. He’ll be upfront about the whole thing, judge him how they want but he refuses to let greed consume them too. He focuses a lot of time and energy on learning how to reel in his magic with them so they get some of the perks but none of the major downsides. Unlike with his other pacts where he lets it all just run wild (just means they use up their contact faster and he can move on to even bigger fish).

Leviathan- Pact of Wisdom and Skill

Surprisingly, despite his antisocial tendencies with “normies”, he gets around when it comes to contracts. Perhaps it’s jealousy at his other brothers or perhaps he finds collecting contracts a bit of a game on its own.

He has a small niche of people interested in his pacts. Pacts with him give people a strategic advantage in nearly any situation. Seemingly overnight his humans turn into near tactical geniuses. Because of that, he is very popular with military leaders and humans with dangerous careers.

He also makes mini contracts with foot soldiers and humans with dangerous oceanic jobs. They just want to make it out alive and he gets that. With contracts like these, he is more lenient and doesn’t ask for much. Make an offering of fancy food to Henry 2.0 or wait in line for a rare human figuring he wants. Wam-bam thank you ma’am kinda business.

This is completely different from his larger contracts. With the military contracts, he expects them to continue with their duties until they die in the field. Simple as that, he doesn’t mince words in his contract. It’s what he would do as General so he expects it from them. Should they try to define him he will get rid of them.

He takes delight in defiant contract holders. They think they are as clever as he is now. But they forget that they are using his magic. He could take his magic away right after they defy him sure...but he won’t. He lets them stew for a bit, thinking they have had the last laugh on envy. If they wish to play games with a General then he will make sure it’s good.

With MC he plays on easy mode, granting them insight and little touches of his magic during exam week or when playing a game against his brothers. He wants nothing in return from them but some quality hangout time.

Satan- The Pact of Retribution

As the only pure-blooded demon out of the seven, he does these pacts out of necessity like most other demons. While the others do it more so out of monetary gain and an obligation to the crown. Or if you’re Belphie, sheer enjoyment.

He does it because he hungers, it a hole in his very self that he is trying to fill. He hunts for one reason only- relief from his cardinal sin. He will never feel the calm after a storm of rage naturally. Patience and tranquility are the antitheses of his very creation. So he gets it artificially through his contracts.

He looks for the downtrodden, angry, and the most bitterly despondent humans he can find and gives them the chance to seek vengeance. He is very upfront with what his pact entails. Once the vengeance is complete his rage will consume them and they will become another soul for him to consume.

He isn’t cruel about the process or tries to trick a human into a mark. Very few of the ones he approaches turn him down even after hearing the details. It is possible that humans once shot to get even and he gets to feel bliss, to feel calm. He finds out that the longer or more obscure the plan for retribution is the sweeter the outcome is for Satan.

If he is feeling super ornery he will go after people affected by the outcomes of Lucifer’s pacts. They are easy prey and almost as wrathful as Satan himself. Bonus it aggravates Lucifer to no end when he has to go out of his way to clean up the mess Satan’s contract made of his own. Anything to piss him off makes Satan feel all the better.

With MC he doesn’t need to use his pact magic. Mostly because they are always around him in the Devildom, and no one is stupid enough to mess with someone Satan favors. If someone or something does irritate his MC he will take it out before it can fester into something his magic will try to latch onto. Keeping you calm and happy makes him feel almost tranquil as well.

Asmodeus- Pact of Gratification

Another very popular pact to try to get, and how could it not? He is fabulous~ But as much as people try to find him, he only goes for a certain type of contract. He has his perfectly manicured fingers on the pulse of the fashion and beauty industry.

His name is a whisper among the up and comers in the business. Many-while not looking for a pact - at least want to see him at least once. Many never will, they get cut from their agency or quit before they could get a foothold. It happens, and he hates to see it. Everyone deserves to feel gorgeous, or at least get a chance to be in the same room as him!

But for the ones the perceiver and climb the ranks get invited to one of his many parties. They can only get invited by someone wearing his mark. He trusts them to know who would be amenable to his contract.

His pact grants its bearer a glamor that can’t be broken by any meer mortal or mage. It makes them absolutely irresistible. How they wield that power is completely up to the user, he won’t judge or intervene.

Once they sign the contract all his holders see him frequently. He absolutely loves dropping in on their shoots or fancy dinners to say hi or get a recap on how they are fairing. Not because he is a nice demon or just super friendly (though they would like to think so). No, he just likes to watch.

His payment is slow, methodical and no one sees it happen until it is already complete. In exchange for beauty and the graduation of getting whatever their little hearts could as for he gets their ability to love, whether that be familiar or sexual. Asmo loves the feeling of being loved; he wants it in all ways possible.

Some pact holders don’t have an issue with this. They got their looks, a successful career, and people to manipulate to their heart’s content. Not having strong contentions with anyone works in their favor. But others don’t and while they search for him to try and get that little slice of humanity back he is long gone. He got what he wanted anyway.

MC is his darling. He can and will make a special contract just for them (reviewed by Lucifer). A beautiful new contract for a beautiful soul! He wants you as unchanged as possible because this MC is the one he fell for.

Beelzebub- Pact of Prowess

His pact is a very elusive one as he isn’t keen on going and looking for one. Beel isn’t a big fan of these trades, but he needs them every once and a while. Nothing is more filling than a contracted soul.

His trade is basic, make a pact and you get his strength. He, like Satan, is upfront about what his payment is and what side effects will plague them. He sees no reason to lie about it. The more they draw on his power the more the host's body gorges itself. Their bones will collapse in on themselves from the stress of it- the magic feeds on anything in the host bodies. It will deplete the iron in the blood, go after the calcium in the bones, sink its teeth in their muscle system.

It’s all rather gruesome and Beel does feel bad about it. He tells though who are still adamant about binding with him ways they can negate some of the side effects by taking supplements and augmenting their diets.

But it is like patching a deep cut with a bandaid, it just won’t work. His stomach is near bottomless- humans most certainly aren’t. They simply can’t eat enough to sustain their body like he can.

It surprises him that people still seek him out. To some, the pros outweigh that very huge cons. Some really do believe that they can find a loophole or find the right mix of medication to offset it.

He doesn’t get beaten up about it anymore but it gets on his nerves how obstinate humans can be about his very clear warnings. When his magic finally consumes them he takes both the body and soul back down with him and feasts on both.

With MC he keeps an eye out on them. Consistently checking in, making sure they don’t skip a meal, and join him at the gym often. He wants them to be strong and healthy enough to not ever want to use his pact. Though he does speculate that their angelic bloodline buffers both his and his brother’s magic a good bit.

Belphegor- Pact of the Visionary

Dreamers come in every shape and size and from different walks of life. But they are are all suckers to Belphie. He is known as the Lord of Decet for a reason.

He will promise them everything and anything their heart desires. That invention that will change the world? Done. A patent that is long overdue. Easy enough. A sudden rush of ingenuity to complete that nagging project. He is a devil of his word, it will be done. It- just won’t be done in the way they would want it.

See manipulating the physical realm is hard work. Like a lot of hard work. More than he would ever do for some stupid little human. It’s a lot easier to control outcomes in his realm.

The moment the contract is signed his hosts fall under his control and he takes it from there building a perfect little dream world for them to frolic in and believe they are getting what they want. He feeds off of them here, taking little sips from their energy and exploring these new fresh dream worlds. His dreamscapes get boring every once and a while, so having a new human under his influence is always refreshing.

While his humans thrive inside their minds their bodies waste away in bed as his magic draws them further and further into an endless sleep.

He doesn’t see anything wrong with his contracts. Who would argue with him that the dream realms aren’t real in their own sense? Did his humans not accomplish their goals in the end? He doesn’t think of the outside effects of his magic and pacts. Belphie really doesn’t care about what families he broke apart or lives he inadvertently affected.

MC is different to him though. He doesn’t keep them under his spell hardly ever (maybe if they are spending too much time with Dia or Lucifer. But he doesn’t push it with them.).He still walks into their dreams whenever he feels but he comes just to visit, not to change. He simply just enjoys keeping you company and relaxing in the little mini paradise you always seem to create in your dreams.

#obey me #request!#obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #headcanon

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trans-p03g · 2 years ago

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I HAD A NEAT AS HELL INSCRYPTIOM DREAM WITH SOME BACKGROOMS THEMS THAT I MIGHT TURN INTO AN AU, HOLD ON

It was with the Lost Souls gang, at least with the same designs as them. And also Peaches, but they were a human.

So it was a very backrooms-like place, though instead of just the monotone yellow hallways stretching on for forever it sometimes gave way to different places like an entire store or a warehouse or a hospital,

I think an accurate description could be backrooms combined with that one Ikea SCP

So the place was gigantic but it wasn't that hard to find supplies with a bit of rationing things and luck

There were entire societies/cities built by the people that ended up there, there was a hospital made filled with people and worked in by actual medical staff that ended up in that dimension. A warehouse/shop section that was turned into an entire trading centre. The trick was just to find them, which obviously wasn't easy. If I remember right, they were right around the centre of the entire place, and the people made maps to find the cities easier. There were also monsters and fucked up things living there, some neutral or hostile, or even helpful, but they don't really show up until much later on in my dream, with one exception.

So it was a group that met after falling into this alternate dimension, it was Luke, the scrybes and that one kid Peaches, I think there were also some subordinates there but they were mostly in the bg? I think I remember Lonely Wizard being there

They were all freshly dropped into this dimension and had to figure out how to survive while also having to take care of that orphaned little kid who doesn't quite grasp the gravity of the situation on the account of being, well, a kid. Peaches was very nonchalant about the whole thing and was basically like "ok, I guess this is happening now" to anything.

Well, most of them were new to this dimension. Poe was actually born here alongside their twin sister Golly after their heavily pregnant mother ended up here years ago and was thankfully quickly found and taken in by one of the groups of people living there so she could actually safely give birth and raise her children. If I remember correctly she died when the twins were very young so the two sparsely remember their mother and were mostly raised by the community. I think one of their main caretakers was Dredger (wasn't mentioned at all, just showed up in Poe's memories, but I'm assuming it was him bc he looked like my design for him in the humanity's Edge AU. Inspector and Melter also make an appearance in Poe's memories as people that often took care of them).

The twins grew up and became travellers, their job was scavenging, exploring and mapping out the dimension, they kept the different cities connected by sending messages between them and some were specialised in finding new and stranded people and assisting them to safety, basically think errand boy but Xtreme. They were highly trained, knew how to deal with monsters, were equipped with a lot of survival shit and some could actually spend months if not years outside the settlements.

Which is exactly how the twins haven't seen each other for years, perhaps a decade at this point. They separated after a particularly nasty argument and Golly decided to leave the settlement and just. Never return. She still did her job, she mapped out the dimension, kept the settlements connected, helped the survivors, and came to be regarded as one of the best in her field, she just chose to live outside the settlements by herself. Poe meantime spent at most a few months outside the settlements, but always came back to rest and live on them for a while before setting off again.

It was during one of these times outside when they bumped into the group of new survivors and decided to help them, though for whatever reason decided not to tell them that they've been living there for their whole life and pretended to be a new guy too? Idk why, maybe they were worried the others wouldn't trust them or something. Though I don't know how the hell they didn't question why Poe was already equipped, maybe they were just stupid, maybe before finding them Poe got into some shit and had to drop most of their gear or lost it somehow, maybe both.

Either way, Poe decides to help the poor bastards and subtly guides them toward the nearest settlement and tried to teach them how to live off the land in that place without seeming suspicious. Though because of the size of the damn place, the nearest city is weeks if not months away on foot and they definitely steer off course because Poe doesn't have their maps, they just have to hope they're going in the right direction and try to look for the landmarks (which is hard when it's just hallways with little to no open space)

They spend weeks there and the dream started when Leshy was making dinner for everybody and they were planning to pack up and move right after (after all it's dangerous to spend too much time in one place)

So they're going, and Poe always opts to stay in the back to keep an eye on everybody. When Peaches decides to steer off-course. They find some sort of hole in the ground and go into it, finding a creature hunched up in there and drawing on its canvas, it likes to draw people it met. It tells so to Peaches and asks if they want to draw too and hand them the charcoal. Thankfully Poe found Peaches, and wasn't too worried about the thing because like I said they were taught how to identify the creatures living there and how to deal with them, and they knew that thing was neutral towards humans and safe to be around as long as you didn't piss them off. What actually worried them was the fact that Peaches doodled somebody who looked like their sister.

Knowing they shouldn't overstate their welcome, Poe picked up Peaches, apologised to the thing for bothering them and thanked it for looking after the kid briefly, then said goodbye and booked it out of there (even if the thing was friendly, I can't imagine being in the presence of an elongated pitch-black humanoid in a tiny dark and dusty hole was a very pleasant experience). As they are catching up with the group, Poe asks Peaches about the girl they doodled and they reply that they met her before meeting up with the group. Poe now becomes even more worried, as their sister would never leave a survivor, let alone a kid, behind unless something happened, but they don't bring that up or press the matter for now.

Skip forward a few weeks, the group are now in the store-like section of the place and are picking supplies. Poe is talking to who I think is either Prospector or Trapper? When they hear a crash and glass being shattered on the tile floor.

They go to look and Poe freezes on the spot when he sees Leshy arguing with their sister of all people. She was also there picking up supplies and stumbled onto them by complete chance, which lead to an argument when she tried to approach them and they didn't trust her. She was trained in this though so she backed away but accidentally knocked some shelf down which caused the crash.

Leshy is about ready to beat this stranger's ass when she sees Poe, freezes too and just. Fucking books it. Just says nothing else to Leshy and just turns around and runs.

Which is a funny as hell reaction to seeing your twin sibling that you haven't been in contact with for like 12 years.

Poe immediately drops everything and runs after her, yelling at her to stop. They eventually manage to catch up with her and corner her in some aisle, and she's fully ready for a physical confrontation, but Poe instead just. Hugs her. Just tightly wraps their arms around her shoulders and damn near cries as they ask her where she's been and that they've missed her.

The others catch up with the two and are surprised, to say the least. They decide to keep moving, now with Golly, and that the two will just explain themselves when the group settles down for the night.

So, it comes out that Poe lied to them and they're not too happy. The two catch them up on everything and Golly mentions that she found Peaches before but the two of them were ambushed by a monster shortly after, so she told the kid to hide while she lured it away but when she came back for them Peaches was already gone (because why the hell would they listen to her, it's Peaches after all). The others aren't happy about being lied to and don't trust her or even Poe now, but let her join them.

It's actually a good thing she found them because Poe was like blind leading the blind in this case after they lost most of their equipment and maps. She leads them to the nearest settlement and the twins take them to the hospital, where the group is looked over and given vaccines for some bugs specific to this dimension. After they're settled in somewhat the two take them to the trading centre at the warehouse, but their shipping trip was cut short by two monsters attacking the place and they have to book it (one monster was a lanky pale naked humanoid that slowly stalked inside the walls for any humans that tried to hide, and the other was this bulky fucked up mix between a man and a kangaroo with its head being completely covered with fleshy growths, they looked like a wet pile of meat and were called The Wetman and despite being scary at the moment I can no longer take them seriously because of the fucking name)

I woke up in the middle of them running away, Golly was clearing the way while Poe went to grab their things. But I think it's pretty safe to assume that they immediately left and tried to make their way to another settlement and inform the of what happened.

#thylacines can talk

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dameronology · 4 years ago

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home {poe dameron x reader}

summary: poe made a promise to always come home, and it’s one he’s determined to keep

warnings: swearing, mentions of injuries

more hurt/comfort fluff?? i almost sent myself off to sleep writing this bc of the ending and bc i am shattered. anyhoo, enjoy!

- jazz

p.s i skimmed this, but it has not been properly proof read haha oops pls bare with me, i will do it in the morning

It had only been five days.

You’d been apart from Poe for far longer than that; sometimes weeks, sometimes months. It was just part of being in the Resistance, and something you both knew you had to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. You must have had some pretty foul luck to have met the love of your life during a time in which the galaxy insisted on keeping you apart - but one look at the pilot, and all that faded away. He always made it home to you, no matter what. He’d made that promise to you pretty early in the relationship, and you knew it to be true. You could never doubt Poe.

The Blue Squadron was due back to base at midday; the mission had been pretty secretive, so the comms lines had been shut most the time. Even after begging Leia to let you man the singular one that connected you to Poe, she’d refused, knowing it would only make things worst. The General only ever spoke from experience, and she had plenty in waiting around for cocky pilots. Whilst Poe was arguably a little less reckless than Han, she knew that you would both act as a distraction to one another’s work. You were equally important to the Resistance, and she couldn’t have you moping about on a commslink for hours a day. The joke was on her for that one, because you still moped, even when you weren’t trying to reach your guy.

‘What time is it?’ You asked Finn.

‘11.56.’ He glanced over at you, eyebrows raised. ‘So the same time as when you asked thirty seconds ago.’

‘I’m just anxious.’ You grumbled. ‘I’ve been so lonely the last five days.’

‘You mean the last five days that you’ve spent with me?’

‘Hey, it’s nothing personal!’ You nudged him in the ribs. ‘You miss him too.’

‘I do.’ Finn nodded. ‘We really are just a pair of simps.’

‘Friends who simp together, stay together.’ You grinned. ‘And if me and Poe ever break up, you have first dibs.’

‘Same for you, if Rey and I ever break up-’

‘- that would require you getting together in the first place.’ You reminded him. Finn could only scowl in response.

‘I’m trying!’ He held his hands up in defense. ‘It’s just complicated.’

‘Nothing’s complicat - they’re here!’

You leapt off the crate you’d been sat on, sprinting across the hangar to where a fleet of X-Wings were grouping. Jess came in first, followed by Snap, and then Kare. Poe’s jet was the last to come in, which was unusual for him. He almost always lead the squad - aside from the time he’d managed to blow an engine and had to call you out to tow him back (it’s how you’d met, actually). Bar a few new dents and scratches, his jet looked to be in decent condition, with BB-8 whirring away from where he was perched in the back. You took that to be a good sign, even if he’d been the last to get in.

A crowd of mechanics reached the fleet before you, tools in hand and ready to repair whatever damage the First Order had thrown at them. You gave Jess a smile and a high five as you passed, but your line of sight was dead set on finding the curly-haired pilot. You had to elbow your way through the crowd, heartbeat picking up as you did. Man, you’d missed him. The last few weeks had been rough for you both and being constantly pulled apart only made it worst. All you wanted to do was to see him, to hug him and-

- You hit Poe with a thud, chests colliding. He immediately wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you tightly against his chest and burying his head against yours. He smelt faintly of jet fuel and smoke, which was fitting.

His lips were on yours the minute he’d let you go, hands tightly gripping your cheeks as he kissed you with all his might. Yeah, he’d missed you too.

‘Hey, baby.’ You couldn’t help but smile, eyes finally meeting - it didn’t last long though, not when you saw the state of his face. ‘Oh my god. Your eye! And your lip! And-’

‘- I missed you.’ Poe brushed it aside, pressing another exhausted kiss to your lips.

‘I missed you too.’ You softly sighed. ‘The fuck happened to your face, though?’

‘Just...First Order stuff.’ He bit his lip, brown eyes falling to the floor.

You sighed. ‘Shit, Poe.’

‘I know. He gently nodded. ‘I’m okay though. I’m here with you. That’s the important thing.’

‘You’re right.’ You agreed. ‘C’mon, I’ll take you to medical-’

He cut you off with a groan. ‘Let’s just go back to my room. Please?’

‘But your face.’ You gently ghosted a thumb across his bruised cheek, flinching when he shuddered slightly. ‘I mean...I have a first aid kit. I can always take a crack at it.’

‘That sounds a lot nicer than those nurse droids.’ He smiled.

‘But you have to promise to get checked over tomorrow, okay?’

‘I promise.’

Poe flung his arm across your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you headed out the hangar. His own room was actually in the opposite direction, but he practically lived with you in yours. It always felt so much nicer. You’d managed to make it a lot homier, with photos of the two of you and fairy lights strung up. The scent of your perfume always lingered in the air and sleeping in your bed was the closest he could get to you when you were away on missions. In return, he left his jumpers and hoodies laying around for you to have free reign of. It was a weak form of paying rent, but he hadn’t heard any arguments.

You could tell that Poe was tired from the way he walked. He usually had a swagger in his step, smiling at everyone who passed. Now, he was leaning on you for support, dark eyes staring dead ahead with exhaustion, his brain working at a thousand miles an hour to process what he’d witnessed over the last few days. You’d been on his mind the entire time.

‘Here we go.’ You gently lead him to the bed, helping him shrug off his charred flight suit. He caught your lips in a chaste kiss as you moved it off his shoulders, hands suddenly grabbing yours.

‘You know I love you, right?’

‘Of course. I love you too.’ You murmured. ‘Is something up?’

Poe pulled you down onto the bed beside him, eyes finally meeting yours. ‘I just...I got captured on the mission. Very briefly, but still. It was scary, and there was a moment when I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it back.’

‘Poe.’ Your breath caught in your throat. ‘Is that why your face is all...’

‘Like this?’ He chuckled slightly. ‘Yeah. I’m sorry.’

‘Hey, don’t be.’ You squeezed his hands. ‘It’s not your fault, and like you said earlier, the important thing is that you here now.’

‘I know, but I promised you, didn’t I? That I’d always come home?’

‘And you did.’ You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. ‘Now c’mon, I gotta stitch you up before this scars.’

‘I reckon I’d look hot with a couple battle scars, y’know.’

‘You would, but I’d rather you not bleed out all over my sheets for the sake of vanity.’ You smiled.

Digging out your first aid kit, you grabbed a few cotton swabs and some bacta spray. You weren’t a nurse, but your medical skills weren’t terrible either. After a few too many injuries and close calls out in the field, you’d learnt the basics. Half of the scars on Poe’s body had been from your handiwork after he’d been injured -- some of them were a little wonky, but he hadn’t died yet, so you figured you’d done a decent job. The ones he’d done for you were much neater but in your defense, he was reckless as fuck and had a ton more experience in dealing with injuries.

On the bright side, Poe’s torso seemed fine and relatively uninjured. The white shirt he was wearing was only smeared with soot from the blaster fire, and his bare arms were broad and uninjured, save for one scrape on his left bicep. Okay, maybe the broad part wasn’t relevant to the context, but it was definitely relevant on the whole. He did have good arms. You only ever truly felt safe when they were wrapped around you.

‘This might sting a little bit.’ You crouched between his legs, pouring a little bit of bacta spray onto the cotton swab. You gently wiped it across his forehead, doing a double take when he let out a hiss of pain. ‘You okay, baby?’

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Poe’s eyes met yours, and he gave you a half smile. ‘Better now that you’re here.’

It didn’t take too long to clean up the rest of his cuts and bruises; they were relatively minor given what he’d been through. The last time he’d been caught by the First Order on Jakku, he’d come home ten times worse than this. You’d spent days by his side in the medical room, mostly chiding him for how funny he looked in the bactasuit, but also to offer emotional support. The duality of love.

You finished up by wrapping a bandage around the cut on his left arm, gently tying it in place with a safety pin. It was enough to keep it clean and safe until tomorrow, when you’d hopefully be able to convince him to see an actual nurse. You knew that for now, he was tired and probably just wanted to rest. His eyes were sunken with tiredness, and his body had become more and more slumped as you’d gone about cleaning him up. Poe never slept well on missions; a mixture of anxiety and your absence always made for a bad night’s sleep.

‘That should keep you in one piece for now.’ You said, running a hand through his hair. Poe leant into your touch, pressing a kiss to your wrist. ‘You should get some sleep.’

‘Mmm.’ He murmured. ‘You’re staying, right?’

'Absolutely.’ You offered him a soft smile. ‘Gotta lose the boots though. These are clean sheets.’

‘Can you do it for me?’ He asked, flopping back against the mattress.

You rolled your eyes at his...Poe-ness, before leaning down and unzipping his shoes, tossing them in a pile across the room. Yours joined them, followed by your jacket and the crumpled flight suit. That was something else to worry about tomorrow. For now, your main focus was him.

Poe climbed under the covers, shuffling across to make room for you. He reached out to you as you joined him, naturally wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. The tiredness really hit him then, and you could feel his body untense as you pressed a kiss to his jaw. His body was warm against yours, which was a welcome contrast after sleeping alone for the last few nights.

‘I love you.’ Poe murmured quietly.

‘I love you too.’ You peered up at him with a smile.

‘And I’ll always come home to you.’ He gave your shoulders a light squeeze. ‘You know that, right?’

‘I do.’

‘I’ll never break a promise to you.’

‘I know.’ You softly sighed, trying to move closer to him (as though it were even possible).

It was hard for him to fight the exhaustion now that he was laying with you -- after a few moments, his breathing became a little deeper, and his grip on you a little looser. You pressed one last kiss to his cheek, before settling back against his side and letting sleep over take you.

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kaaytea · 4 years ago

Note

Can I have some headcanons of miyuki dating coach Kataota daughter (if he had one since him having a daughter isn’t canon) and how would Kataota react to finding this information out

Ok wait this is such a fun idea tho 😶 I kinda go into detail about how his daughter would be involved with the team for a bit and this is a LONG post... I hope you don't mind 😅

Miyuki and Kataoka's daughter