#seriously anyone going for PSS has a place in my heart. so much love to you

[bellshazes]

peter today I've been arguing on twitter and clearly it's a sign I'm not meeting my needs in terms of meaningful engagement in making the world a better place. I applied to get training as a peer support worker, but if I don't get accepted do you have any other suggestions? [preferably something that can lead to work as opposed to only volunteering, bc tuition obvs doesn't pay itself]

-self actualization anon andy

holy shit best of luck I am rooting for you so hard!!!!!! Peer support specialists are some of the best people on earth, seriously, I have never met one I didn't love with every cell in my body.

With looming layoffs at my company I've been thinking about other jobs a lot and I fell into mine accidentally. I went from restaurant manager to home & auto insurance and got lucky with that, and then looked for admin positions and got one with an insurance plan that I only understood served foster youth after getting hired. When I was a restaurant manager I wrote about local arts things on the side to keep me alive, and that writing helped get the auto insurance job. It didn't help pay bills, but it made life livable.

I think there's a lot of good a social worker can do but you could not pay me any amount of money on earth to get an advanced degree in it and not even just because of your point about tuition. A lot might depend on where you live - in my state (Kentucky) I might recommend the Family and Youth Resource Centers (FRYSCies) or community based organizations like The Book Works or KY-SPIN that do educational advocacy and offer peer support-adjacent services that don't require PSS cert. Managed care is my field, and it's not the most stable but something like a Community Health Worker might give you some useful searches whether it's with insurance or not. Centers for Independent Living can vary in name and quality, but if youre US your state will have some. I wish I had more jobs I knew were meaningful or how to get into them.

And I don't know if it's relevant but... I didn't feel like a real adult until I was 27, and I'm only 29 now. I can't believe I used to just cold email people to interview them about the arts in my community - I was so desperate at 23, 25. I cooked potluck dinners every week for friends for a few years, even if it didn't matter what we ate. But I think my biggest strength is finding something in my job to care about impacting people - my ch*potle regulars, one of whom is still a good friend and also was a PSS briefly; my home customers who I could explain things to, help them understand their policies; supporting my direct care co-workers, finding ways to make their jobs a tiny bit easier. When you are hungry for connection it is so hard to stay hungry, but the older I get the more firmly I believe that every little thing you do to make a difference for somebody matters.

I may not know you, but if you're looking for meaningful work in places like PSS certifications, I bet you have it in you to find ways of making that difference. And you never run out of chances, even if you're twice my age you still have years to go to keep making a meaningful difference. I hope this doesn't come across as trite, because it's what I lean on when I feel like nothing I do matters, which has been about half the time lately. If you have people you care about, let them take care of you too; if you feel like you don't have that and are isolated, it may not be much but I am rooting for you. I mean that. Happy to share my discord as well, if you ever wanna connect directly - I also could probably swing some more specific recs for some US states. But keep me updated anyway, my friend. Dreaming bigger is more than half the battle.

[marvelmymarvel]

Old Memories, Same Crush

Part 1/3

George Luz x Medic!Reader

Synopsis: You knew George Luz from Rhode Island where you both went to high school. You had a major crush on him, but being the nerd and him being the class clown made it seem impossible. You got over your crush once you joined the Airborne, but then you run into him again. Something blooms.

Trigger Warning: Bullying

A/N: This was requested I just added some more details. It was basically just that the reader knew George from Rhode Island to whoever requested that, thank you and I’m sorry for the late posting. 

Reader Info: Birthday is July 5th, 1923

George Info: Birthday is June 18th, 1921

PS: Just so you know. I did so much research. And this is by far my favorite thing that I have ever written. Masterpiece. 

PSS: Anything in italics is a flashback. 

Story 1: Old Memories, Same Crush (1, 2, 3)

Story 2: Tomorrow Is Another Day (1, 2, 3)

Story 3: TBD

June 1st, 1942; Toccoa, Georgia: 18 Years Old

Your breath hitched as you saw him. “Shit” you whispered out as Eugene turned to look at you strangely. “What's wrong?” he asked quietly as you both watched the men from Easy company approach the medical station where all of the new medics were being trained. You looked down before moving to the back without answering him. “Y/n” he called out as he went after you as you stood at one of the tables, getting the supplies ready to give the men their shots. “Y/n” he whispered lowly as the men came in and were ordered to take a seat. ‘He won't know you y/n. He never did’ you reminded yourself, “I’m fine Eugene, just nervous is all” you whispered out before clearing your throat and looking down the line of men who sat nicely against the wall. Your eyes purposefully skipped over George and they landed on the farthest one from the door. “Who’s first” you stated sweetly as you held up a needle. You could practically see the blood drain out of some of the men's faces and you stifled back a laugh at seeing big men being afraid of such a little thing. The man you were looking at stood up and walked over to you bravely as if he wasn't afraid. You raised your eyebrows at him playfully before looking at his name tag.

“Private... Liebgott” you stated before throwing him a half smile, “You’re certainly brave” you chuckled out as he sat on the table cockily. “A man can't show weakness in front of a beautiful and available woman” he purred out smoothly as he took off his jacket, making you give out a mocking ‘Ooooo’ at his failed attempt of impressing you. “I’m impressed Private” you challenged as you came closer to his now bare arm, cleaning it, you pressed the needle to his skin. “Tell me though” you began softly as you pressed down, his breath caught at the stinging feeling and your eyebrows raised in fake surprise, “What makes you think I’m available” you muttered out before pulling out the needle and grabbing his jacket. Handing it to him, you saw a scowl on his face and you just smiled sweetly at him as he didn't answer. You prayed none of the other men would hit on you. Although, you wouldn't complain about one. “Next” you called out finally as Joe jumped off the table and stormed away. 

December 12th, 1939; West Warwick, Rhode Island: 16 Years Old

Your nose was pressed into the medical book that you were currently obsessed over. ‘Weird girl’, that's what they seemed to call you. You didn't like normal books like ‘The Wizard of Oz’ or ‘The Great Gatsby’, and while you had a special place for ‘Gone With The Wind’ you liked medical books. The kind that talked about diseases and how to stop a man from bleeding out to death. Your back was pressed against the wall in the hallway, knees up so your book could rest on them. It was lunchtime, and since you didn't really have anyone to sit with in the lunchroom, you usually brought your own lunch and ate alone. You didn't really mind. It was time away from the boys who teased you all day for always carrying around a medical book. It was time away from the girls who mocked you for wearing pants instead of skirts like they normally did. 

‘Weird girl.’ You could practically hear the boys teasing you as you turned the page. Your mind wandered as you tried to read the paragraph over and over again, but you couldn't focus. Sighing, you slammed your book closed and grabbed your lunch sack as you set your book on the ground. Your book was kicked down the hall and you looked up at the culprit as they grabbed your arm and yanked you up. He slammed your back into the wall and you dropped your lunch sack in terror. “Hey weird girl, whatcha reading?” Mason snarled down into your face as you recoiled back in disgust. Normally, girls would love to be in this position, what with Mason being the Quarterback for the high school football team. But for you, this was a nightmare that you lived almost every day. “James!” Mason called back to his friend who grabbed your book from the ground. “What's she reading today!?” 

You watched in horror as James opened it and dangled it by its cover. “I don't know but it has naked men in here” he chuckled out before looking at you seriously. He lifted it up and grabbed the cover with his other hand, “You’re such a little freak” James snarled out before he ripped the cover off. “NO” you cried out as you tried to push out of Mason’s arms but he just pressed you into the wall harder. You began to weep as you watched the book, that your dad gave you for your birthday, being torn to pieces. “Aww weird girls crying” Mason taunted as he cupped your chin and made you look back at him. Your lip quivered as you felt your whole heart shatter into a million pieces. This was the farthest the two have ever gone, and you were afraid of how much farther they could and would go. “Hey... Leave the girl alone you decorated little asshole” you heard someone else call out. You ripped your head out of Mason’s grip as he let go of you completely. He turned back to the new person and you peered around his shoulder. Your breath caught and your heart stopped at the sight of him standing there like the savior that he was in that moment. Just like Rhett Butler, ready to save the day. The way the cigarette dangled from his lips made you swoon, but the way he was looking at Mason, made your knees weak. 

George Luz. 

While you two never actually talked nor did you actually, well, okay you knew him.... but he didn't know you. “Luz, mind your own business.” Mason snapped out as James dropped your book and came up next to his friend. You swiftly moved over to your ruined book in despair. As you lowered yourself to the ground, you quietly sniffled as you tried to round up the pages to hopefully fix the book. “Well, I was minding my own business, but you harming an innocent girl is kind of my business, Coleman” George snapped out angrily as he grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth and let the smoke flow out of his lips. “Hey, listen, if you don't leave us alone I’m gonna tell Patty that she can't go to prom with you-” James began but George had enough and let out a dark chuckle. 

“So fucking what, your sister’s ugly anyway” George cut him off before throwing the cigarette on the ground and looking over to you. He nodded for you to leave and you didn't even think to argue. Holding your shredded book tightly to your chest, you ran down the hall and heard James scream something at George before grunts and the sounds of punches followed. You turned the corner and flew into a supply closet. Slamming the door closed, you pressed your back to the door in shock as you slid down it. Still gripping the book tightly to your chest, you sniffled as you brought it down and looked at it. You could fix it.

Couldn't you?

June 1st, 1942 Toccoa, Georgia: 18 Years Old. 

30 Minutes Later

All the men came and went, each shot getting easier and faster to do. Then there was one man left. “Private Luz” you greeted him as if he was someone new and not someone who you had a major crush on back in high school, some 3 years ago. Was it really that long ago? He smiled at you before extending his hand for you to shake. Your breath caught as your heart began to pound.

Nothing changed. 

You grabbed his hand boldly and shook it before letting go and motioning for him to the table. He was the last one and you were the only medic still in the building, meaning you two were alone. He took off his jacket and you grabbed another shot to give him. Turning back you walked over to him with a bright smile, your hands were shaking. ‘Stop it Y/n. Quit shaking’ you scolded yourself as you grabbed his bicep. You didn't look at him, but you could feel him watching you in confusion. “Do I know you?” He asked quietly as you pressed the needle into his muscle, you looked up at him innocently as you pressed the medicine through the syringe and into his body. You shook your head as you looked down softly before pulling out the needle and rubbing the spot tenderly. “Sorry Private” you whispered out as you looked back at him before backing away, “I’ve never seen you in my life” you stated a little firmer as you tried to give him a confident smile. But you couldn't hide the quivering of your lips at how close you were to him in that one moment. It was something you prayed for, you thought as you turned around to set the needle in the bin as you heard him put his jacket on. “My mistake then” he muttered out before hopping off the table, “But, it was nice meeting you....”

“Y/n” you whispered out as you turned back to him, “My names Y/n.”

He nodded at that and gave you a dazzling smile. “Its a pleasure meeting you, Y/n. I hope to see you around more” he stated before turning and walking towards the door. You built up the courage to say something and you wished you stayed silent.

“You too George” you stated and he stopped in his tracks before turning back to you. “Did I tell you my name?” He asked and your cheeks heated up, realizing that you just gave yourself away. “I know all of the men's names, I just act like I don't know them to make them not feel uncomfortable,” you said quickly. It was bullshit.

But he bought it. 

He smiled at you once more before nodding and heading out the door. Letting out a deep breath, you looked up at the ceiling. Old memories kept coming back.

December 21st, 1939; Boston, Massachusets: 16 Years Old

You fought through the crowd to get to the line. ‘Gone With The Wind’ was just released and showing in Boston earlier than it would be showing in Providence. You had to practically beg your dad to let you take two buses and a train up by yourself. But this, this was all worth it. You were alone, but what else was new. You managed to be one of the last people to get a ticket and you quickly got some popcorn and hurried to your seat. While you certainly loved medical books, ‘Gone With The Wind’ had a special place in your heart. The way Rhett Butler drove Scarlett O'Hara mad, made you swoon. You wanted someone like that. Someone that you would love to hate, but just can't. Someone like-

“Is this seat taken?”

Your head snapped up to see none other than George Luz standing in front of you. Your jaw dropped a little in shock and he just raised his eyebrows as if questioning why you were looking at him strangely. Wasn’t it normal for a man like him to go see a movie like this...

Oh right, because it wasn’t normal. 

“Uh... No” you stuttered out as you watched him turn and plop down beside you. Where you breathing? Did you smell okay? Oh God, could he tell you were sweating? What if he touched your leg?! Don't be ridiculous Y/n, of course not, he wouldn't touch you, he doesn't even know your name. The thoughts raced round and round in your brain as you stared straight forward. But you could feel his eyes on you in the dimly lit movie theater. Turning your head slowly, you caught him staring with a smirk on his lips. Snapping your head back forward, your face heated up in embarrassment as you readjusted yourself in the seat. “You okay” he whispered in your ear making you jump once more in your seat, popcorn flying a little in fear. “Jesus” you hissed out as your cheeks reddened from embarrassment as you turned to glare at him. He chuckled lightly before turning back to the screen as the lights began to dim fully. The movie came up and you turned from him to the screen. Some time passed and he built up the courage to tell you his name. Truth be told, he couldn't stop thinking about you since the day he saved you from those two idiot’s. He had never seen you before. “I’m George, by the way” he whispered out to you but you were already so engrossed in the movie that you didn’t hear him and he died out. It wouldn't matter anyway, whether you liked him or not. He was dropping out of the school, now that he was 18 and all, he could finally do it. And he would never see you again. 

Or so he thought.

August 10th, 1942; Toccoa, Georgia: 19 Years Old

You were reading outside of the mess hall. ‘Gone With The Wind’ perched in between your fingers as you bit into your apple before turning the page with your finger. You were at your favorite part when you heard someone clearing their throat. Looking up, you saw Lieutenant Sobel towering above you. “Yes sir?” you asked calmly, normally when a tall man with such authority towered over you like this, you’d quake. But dealing with bullies all your life, he was nothing more than that. “That's contraband Private” he growled out and your eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as you looked down at your book. “It’s just a book-” but he snatched it out of your hand before you could argue back. “HEY! THAT’S MINE” You screamed as you jumped up and tried to grab it back. “You aren't a paratrooper yet, Private, you don't have any personal property” he growled down at you before backing up and smelling the book creepily. Your lip trembled as you looked at the book, “Please sir, it's my favorite book and it’s all that I have left from home. Please” you begged as you stepped forward. He just cocked an eyebrow at you before looking at the book once more. Just then the doors to the mess hall opened and all of the men came out. Some staring at your distraught face, some staring at the book, and some staring at Sobel. They all knew, though, what was going on. Sobel sighed deeply before grabbing the cover, “No!” you screamed out but he was already ripping it to shreds. You just stood there silently sobbing as he ripped up your heart just like the boys did back in school. Dropping the shredded book to the ground, he cocked his head before stepping forward and grabbing your chin. Lifting your face to look at him, he leaned down. “Get back to work, Private” he snarled before ripping his hand away and storming off. Your lips trembled as you let out a little-broken cry before going to your knees to grab the book, or what remained of it. Eugene was almost to your side to help and comfort you, but someone else beat him to it. All the men just stood in shock as the worst man on this planet, tore apart you of all people, the sweetest girl they had ever met. All over a book. You looked up shakily as he helped you pick up the book. 

George Luz. 

How ironic.

You sniffled and he looked up at you as he gathered the pages. “Hey don't cry sweets, we can fix this book...” George trailed off as he looked around you both at all the shocked men. “Hey, fellas can you move out please, give us some room” George begged and they moved quickly, but they left with heavy hearts. You sniffled before looking back down at the cover that was split in two. “Why did he even do this” you whimpered out and he just shook his head at you before grabbing the cover from your hand. “I knew some fellas back in my old high school who used to pick on a girl kinda like you. They ripped up her anatomy book until I came and stopped them. I had never seen such a distraught girl before” George muttered out as he finally got the book gathered. He stood up and put out a hand for you to grab, which you happily took. “Did she deserve it?” you asked quietly. You weren't necessarily putting the blame on yourself, but you were trying to act dumb.

“A sweet girl like her? No way,” he answered boastfully as if it was the only correct answer in the world. “No, that girl deserved nothing but the best.”  You nodded as you two approached the barracks, but you smiled softly at his sweet words about you, unbeknownst to him of course. The men were changing for PT, and you had to go to training of your own. He handed you the book and you just smiled at him before taking it. “Thank you, George” you stated as you turned to leave, but stopped as another thought came to your mind. Turning back, you built up the courage, “For everything.”

Before he could question what else he did for you, you took off towards Eugene who was waiting for you. He saw you drop something and he walked towards it to grab it for you. He opened his mouth to yell your name, but then he saw it was the cover of the book. Smiling lightly to himself, he dropped down and picked it up. He’d keep it. He’d fix it. 

He’d fix you.

May 18th, 1942; West Warwick, Rhode Island: 18 Years Old

A year and a half had passed since you saw George Luz. The boys left you alone and the girls became less bratty. You didn't know if it was thanks to George on that fateful day, or if maybe they were growing out of the ‘bully’ phase. Either way, graduation was incredible. But you couldn't help but look around the crowd for a familiar face. Where was George Luz? “Y/n!” your father called out as you pushed through the crowd to find them. You passed Mason and gave him a toothy smile, “Weird girl” he growled and you just winked at him. “See you in hell Coleman” you called back as you pushed past him to see your father still hollering for you. You were done. Finally, and now that you were 18, you could join the military. Your father wasn't really on board, but with some great persuasion, he came through. You were going in as a medic. In some way, that promised you safety. You were coming close to your family and out of the crowd itself. Your mother caught her eyes on you and you were just about to exit the crowd of bodies when someone grabbed your wrist, yanking you to the side. You squealed out in fear but looked up to see George. “I never got your name” he whispered out and you just looked at him wide-eyed. He was here. Not for you, but he was here. “My names-”

“Y/n!” you heard your father call out as he broke into the crowd and stood beside you. Grabbing your wrist lightly he nodded at George, “If you’ll excuse us, young man....” your father started out before pulling you away and whispering to you to be careful when talking to strangers. You threw George an apologetic smile as you were pulled out of the crowd to where he couldn't see you. Your name tumbled in his head, over and over again before they traveled to his lips. With a big smile on his face, he looked up at the blue sky. 

“Y/n”

June 20th, 1943; Toccoa, Georgia: 19 Years Old

All of Easy was rejoicing. You all were about to leave Toccoa and head to North Carolina. You were paratroopers now. Everyone was having fun and drinking, but you being only 19 got in the way. Many men tried to slip you a drink, but what kind of message would that send them. You heard someone slam a hand down next to your elbow that was resting on the bar. You jumped and whirled towards the intruder. You smiled brightly at him as you looked over his drunken state. “You’re a little drunk there, aren't you George” you teased as you turned in the bar stool and leaned against the bar playfully. You two had grown closer, and he never questioned why you seemed so familiar. 

“I must look like a girl you knew” you would say, but you knew.

But a little lie never hurt anyone. Besides, he barely knew you or talked to you other than those 3 times that you ran into him. That first time, he didn't even talk to you, he was too busy beating the shit out of James and Mason. The second time was when you were trying to watch your favorite movie, and while you were swooning over the fact that George Luz was a foot away from you, you never talked to him. Even after the movie, you escaped him out of fear of embarrassing yourself. The third and final time was at Graduation, a whole year and a half after your first 2 encounters. He didn't remember you. He didn't even know your name. To you, he was your everything. To him.

You were nothing.

You fought back the thoughts and instead decided to just live in the moment of starting over. Maybe you could make him like you. 

Maybe you could try again.

“And you aren't drinking” he slurred back as he leaned on the bar as well. Your faces were inches away, but you hid the euphoria that flooded your senses at his scent. “I wouldn't be setting a good example to the youngins” you joked and he just rolled his eyes before getting closer. His nose was practically touching yours and he looked absolutely, intoxicating. And not just because he was intoxicated. You had to fight every urge in your body not to push forward and kiss his damn lips. Luckily, he talked right as you were about to give in. “I wouldn't be setting a good example to the youngins” he mocked in your voice and you leaned back before shoving his shoulder. “Fuck off Luz” you growled playfully before turning around on your barstool to see Heffron eyeing you. You had to admit it, Easy had some good looking men. And Babe, well. 

He was definitely one of them. Your brain reeled over all the types of trouble you two could get into. You weren't a good girl anymore. You weren't that quiet girl with her nose in a book that no one talked to. 

No. 

You were bold, needy, and had your nose in a book.

George was watching Babe as he motioned towards the door with his head. “Please tell me you are not going out there with Babe Heffron?” George whispered in your ear and you just turned back to him. His lips were close and you subconsciously pulled away a little in shock. Regaining your composure, you cleared your throat before standing. “A girl has needs. And besides” you whispered before leaning back forward, “We are just gonna make out” you purred before pushing off the bar and heading towards Babe who was smiling wickedly at you. George watched you both leave before he looked down at what was in his hands. He was going to give it to you. But now. 

He couldn't. 

Clearing his throat, he walked over to his bag that was on the ground. Opening it up, he put the book back where it was before he took it out to give to you. He closed the flap so he couldn't see that god awful book cover that he taped together and onto a new version. 

‘Gone With The Wind’

The last words he saw brought memories back of a girl he once loved but could never find again. You had her name, but you swore you weren't her. He couldn't stop the memories of seeing that girl. So engrossed in her books. Always alone. Truth be told, he was head over heels for that girl since the day he saved her from the two boys and he was ecstatic to see her later that week at the movies. But she disappeared before he could ask for her name. Then, when he knew she was graduating, he went to approach her and he would finally ask for her name. But her father stole her away before she could answer him. Her father though gave him her name. He dreamt of that name, even after he enlisted. He knew he would never see her again. 

But here you are. Looking almost identical to her, but your attitude was far from hers. She was sweet, innocent and quiet. You, you were fire and if he got too close. 

He’d burn. 

He turned back and poured another drink. Forgetting of the girl back home, and hopefully, forgetting you would soon follow.

Babe pushed you to the wall of the bar as his lips attacked your neck in hard kisses. He was drunker than George for sure, but he felt good. He made your skin feel like it was on fire the wetter his kisses got. He finally came back up from leaving hickeys on your neck to give your trembling lips some attention. He pressed his lips hard onto yours and you pulled his body in closer if it was even possible. You were trying to enjoy it. But all you saw was George. You imagined it was his lips that were attacking your neck and giving you love bites. You imagined that it was him that made you feel like you were on fire. Like you were loved. “Wait” you whispered out as you pushed him away. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. He was watching you in concern, but you just shook your head and pulled away from his arms. 

This wasn't you.

“I’m sorry Babe... This isn't me” you whispered out before buttoning up your jacket that he frantically unbuttoned to get to your tank top and bra. This could have gone a lot farther. Babe nodded sadly and you just turned to walk back to the bar only to see George exit. He saw your disheveled hair and half unbuttoned jacket and you flushed in embarrassment as you pulled your jacket closed. His eyes flicked from you to Babe before he nodded and walked away. Leaving you breathless. 

Leaving you lost. 

May 25th, 1942; West Warwick, Rhode Island: 18 Years Old

You laid in bed silently taking in every piece of your room. Tomorrow, you would be shipped down to Georgia where you would join the airborne. You were nervous, but you were ready. You closed your eyes, placing yourself mentally in your favorite book, ‘Gone With The Wind’. How you wished to be Scarlett O’Hara. How you wished to be loved by someone like Rhett Butler. Opening your eyes, you looked at the ceiling sadly. No man would want you like Rhett wanted Scarlett. Turning on your side, you made up a plan. You would change. You would get off that bus and you would be a different person. Not some quiet girl who was afraid to speak her mind. No. You would be firey and bold like Scarlett, maybe then.

You’d find your Rhett. 

June 23rd, 1943; Camp Mackall, North Carolina: 19 Years Old

You hadn't seen George since the night where he caught you and Babe making out. You didn't like who you became. You weren't the same girl that you were only a year ago. “Y/n” Winters called out and your head snapped up to him. Humming as you sat up straighter in his presence. “We are about to do a practice mission” he stated and you nodded as you stood up and gathered your bag. He noticed your sudden change in demeanor, and he didn't know how he felt about it. As you passed him, he grabbed your arm, stopping you dead in your tracks. “You alright Private?” he asked kindly and you just nodded at him with a tight-lipped smile before stepping forward a couple feet. But you stopped before turning around with a frown. “Lieutenant” you started and he just nodded for you to continue. “That girl-” you started before letting out a deep breath “That girl from Toccoa, isn't me sir.” you finished off while looking him straight in the eyes. “You can be whoever you want to be, Private” he finished before nodding at the door “Now for training, we are going to be late.”

May 26th, 1943; Providence, Rhode Island: 18 Years Old

You hugged your parent's goodbye. You prayed that it wouldn't be the last time you would get to hold them. You pushed that away as you climbed up the steps of the bus and found a seat. You had only a bag and your book with you, the book your father gave you for your birthday some years ago. You watched as some men climbed onboard as well, but you paid no mind as you pulled out the book. Opening the cover of ‘Gone With The Wind’, you began to read the amazing love story for the 5th time since you got the book. By the time you finished the book, you were in Toccoa. Stepping off the bus, you breathed in the hot Georgian air. New adventure. 

New you.

Tags:

@hell-itwasyou  @desired-love-

[mikazukikannagisjourney]

Taurus Full Moon April 22/23 2020 - with some tips

Hi all, how are you thriving so far? I hope you’re all well, body, mind, heart, soul, and wallet-wise lol But seriously, this “pandemic” has taken a toll on a lot of people, not just those who actually got the virus, but everyone else. I don’t think it’s fair, but when nature decides to make its way after being taken advantage of, well, sh** hits the fan, hard. We’re in the middle of that situation and despite what it seems to be, waiting and prepping up is the only thing we can do right now. For safety reasons of course.  Physical distancing is greatly affecting so many jobs that require physical presence so I’m not the only one who’s losing not just brain cells but also moolah.. Unless you’re working at home and everything is still running smoothly. if so... Good for you! =) I am personally affected by this whole mess of a pandemic and I am not exactly OK with it, and my body is also acting up aka old pains and aches and stuff started flaring up ever since I last posted, April 5 or something? 8? It felt so long ago, because after the whole global meditation thing I started having trippy dreams, so trippy that even if I slip in a 10-minute doze I’d get to dreamland so fast, it was so draining, so I had no choice but to get some rest, which only lasts a max of 3 hours. And well, you know what happens to sleep-deprived people. T_T But I’m doing a bit better, thank you, and I tried all remedies to move energies: old, young, new, not mine, mine, generational, genetic, emotional, basically removing all of the blockages I could detect. I couldn’t meditate sitting down due to the back pain so I started going back to doing QiGong. It helped greatly, now I upped my sleep time to 5 hours. Not the best but it’s better than 3 hours or 2 hours and having difficulty filling in the gap. Other than the sweltering and humid heat, and having unexplainable pains, I think I’m faring better than others. It sounds Pollyanna-ish but I just try to see the brighter side of things aka I used to be bedridden due to intense and debilitating backpains but now I can stand and even play tetris 99 so I think that’s something to be grateful for. 

Speaking of gratitude, the Full Moon in Taurus tomorrow, April 22 or 23 (depending on where you are) is a great opportunity to fill our cups, in preparation for the days, weeks, and months ahead. Because if it isn’t obvious by now, extreme changes will take place once the quarantines or the mobility restrictions are lifted. It is a strong must that we all adapt, because trust me or anyone else when they say that things will never be the same. Yep. And based on the evolutionary patterns of species, the strongest ones don’t survive, the most adaptable ones do, and it’s high time adaptability is given the love it deserves because THAT’S what the new endings shall require all of us, in order to navigate not just the new energies that are flowing in, but the new way of doing things. Like it or not.

So.. just to push everyone (me included lol) to amp up the manifestation urge, some tidbits to assist you in what to ask for. Taurus is ruled by Venus, along with Libra. Venus rules love, relationships, connections, beauty in general, arts, and most importantly, MONEY. Plus Taurus is a fixed earth sign, meaning it rules whatever we have or own in the physical realm, and it’s in for the long haul. With that in mind, what do you think, or feel intuitively need to manifest now and in the next part of the year? Do you want to be healthier? Make more cash? Be connected with more people? Dress up preppier? Create artsy fartsy stuff? Whatever it is, as long as it is lawful, doesn’t hurt anybody (including you), and fills you with joy, just do it. Or at the very least, plan it out. See yourself achieving that goal, or goals, by doing things step-by-step, even if it’s just baby steps. A move forward despite being pushed back is better than no movement at all. That’s the real backslide right there. And because Taurus energy can help you get things materialized into this physical realm, why not call upon that energy as well? I mean, we’re all stuck somehow anyway, might as well engage with the higher dimensional realms. Besides, these are energetic realms that all religions and belief systems call upon because they’re just there, so even if you’re skeptical it won’t hurt to try, and see if you have results.

Oh, and for those who are affected by astrological energies and shenanigans, Pluto’s gonna go back to Capricorn on the 25th, so you’ll either get used to the quarantine thing or it will make you even more anxious. Also, if you know which house in your natal chart your Capricorn is in, you can check it out because it can affect that house again, once Pluto goes back to Capricorn. You might wanna add that to your manifestations and stuff, for good measure.

Warning: Personal Rant Below. You can skip as needed lol I was supposed to start a new career last month, I was super excited because I thought I was going to get a new lease in life but then community quarantines started so.. Nope. I thought that was the end of my issues so I just shifted into “hey let’s max out the healing since we’re not going anywhere” but I think trying to purge as much crap in my body as I could, sorta broke it, in a way? I mean, I was good for the first 3 days of April, but then after the Jupiter-Saturn conjuction and meditation thing I just broke down into more heaps of emotions that I don’t even know if they’re even mine. Oh, and the pains started coming in, and I didn’t take any medications so I just lived through 2 weeks of having pains, which were bearable to some extent until this weekend. Honestly I don’t see any other way out of this situation but to just rest, but having a gene key that makes me wanna die each time I have to stop and just be, that’s a pretty hard deal. Unless I take drugs so I could just sleep despite the world crumbling down. So I decided to purge more, and the pains starting popping out. It got really intense in the weekend, I can’t sit anymore, and standing hurts, and I had muscle spasms and tense joints. Not exactly fun. And it was hard to sleep in the humid heat, plus I kept getting bitten by ants while I sleep in daylight. Like really, the ants here in my new place are so hecking aggresive, they invade personal spaces like they own the place. Just thinking about them riles me up, I wanna explode. But it’s night right now and they’re gone elsewhere so I will definitely do my best to snooze while it is cool before they invade me in the morning. I miss the monsoon rains, where are you T_T

OK, enough about that, now for some raves--

I have been personally prepping up to participate in Inktober this year but also have to do warmups since I haven’t done artsy drawings since 2017, I concentrated more on doing calligraphy, which is good, of course, but I also have to honor and respect stuff I promised to do myself, for this year. I am not making excuses for not doing as much as I wanted to, I mean, I am just brain-drained and my creativity has been exhausted due to depressive states plus it’s too hot and humid that I kept getting asthma even just moving. So I just try to go with the flow and see what happens, I might make an update if that works out. But seriously, I miss feeling numb, I am not used to having to process a lot of emotions, but I also have to respect my bodygraph type (emotional center) and having emotions and riding them all out until I feel nothing, not numb, but peaceful, is something that I am working on. It’s not easy, but I am starting to see some light. 

OK, so there you go, some support for the new moon, or at least, some stuff you can read to pass the time lol I hope you at least got some ideas, or tips, or even some entertainment? I am definitely not at my best right now due to some stuff but I still wanted to post this in case someone else might benefit. Even if it’s read by someone in the future, if it resonates then it resonates. Besides, there’s always a Taurus new moon every year so yeah, why not.

I hope you all keep safe, and healthy, and whole, and at peace. These are changing times, and if sitting still living in the old ways become unbearable, please remember that you are not alone. Just breathe, trust, and move out of your comfort zone bit by bit. Even if it’s not me, someone’s going to meet you halfway. Just keep holding on.

I remain your soul family,

Mikazuki

PS. If you found the information in this post to be very helpful, insightful, and of great value to you and your own personal journey, please feel free to reblog, share and heart/like, or if you feel super-generous, energetic exchanges are welcomed! Please click here and use this email address: may_chan_otaku@yahoo.com

Thank you so much and be blessed!

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