#You said funny and I went serious...

[desultory-novice]

So with the revelation that Magolor isn't an Ancient, there are two equally funny interpretations of how he (probably) chose his name

Either he was so incompetent in his cultural appropriation that he pulled a “14-year-old anime fan on Twitter” and smashed two cool-sounding words together to make a name and didn't think of the meaning and connotations

Or

He knew what his name meant but picked it anyways cause it would be a funny inside joke that nobody would know to translate

Cause like, admittedly cool name aside, who names himself False Paradise?

I'll be honest. I don't want to talk about "Cultural Appropriation Magolor" because arguing against it is going to sound like (to massively paraphrase DuskTarot elsewhere talking about the same idea) "I might forgive world domination but I draw the line at cultural appropriation!" That or wearing blinders for your bias.

...Nor do I want to play into it (haha, bad kitty does crimes!) because that's just giving ammo to people who don't like Magolor or just want to enrage Mago-stans for luls and dilutes the fact that we got some amazing character development out of him this game.

(I file "Cultural Appropriating Tomb Robber Magolor" with "Child Murdering Psychopath Marx," "War Criminal Taranza", and "Late Stage Capitalist Colonizer Susie." And I find it about as "funny" as Kirby with human feet and realistic teeth holding a gun.) /neg

It is not and never will be what I am here for.

:deep breath:.

With those "pleasantries" (/sarcasm) out of the way, serious answer, I don't think Magolor picked his name at all. Kirby gets to the point where Magolor is willing to open up to him and bashfully admit he's not actually from Halcandra? If "Magolor" wasn't his true name, this would be the time to admit that too. But he doesn't.

Meaning that IS something true.

Now, why was he named that? To be honest, I heavily lean toward the "Halcandran descendant" theory myself. Not because it makes his Halcandran cosplay look better, but because it fits better thematically with the stuff in the epilogue.

Yes, he has to fight Mistelteinn because, regardless of what evils the past kings had done, HE was the one to steal it from atop Landia's head where it was at least relatively contained.

But him witnessing the destruction of Halcandra in the background? I feel like that kind of stuff only has emotional meaning if it's HIS ancestor's foolishness he is seeing.

(Also, as I wrote here, one of the pause descriptions uses the world "take back" the crown, so there is some evidence to support the fact that he felt he had even the most tenuous claim to it.)

Back to why he was named that...

Halcandra is a "dusty mess." It was a beautiful, idyllic place of legend... at one time. It's not anymore. Assuming Magolor was born after the fall of Halcandra, there's no reason he couldn't be named FOR the fall of Halcandra. "False Paradise." "Paradise" being Halcandra. We had something great, we messed it up.

It might be a bit like naming your kid "The Fall of Rome" but who are we to judge.

[royalarchivist]

Bagi: I think Badboyhalo is turning green. Without the rainbow stuff, I saw green stuff in his hand- in his back.

Fit: You might be right, yeah. I mean, it's hard to tell with- Hold on. Wait- wait. Bad, take your shirt off. Take your shirt off.

Bad: Well, I mean, I don't know if this is the right setting for-

Fit: Take your shirt off. [Leans into the mic and uses a deeper voice] Take your shirt off, take your shirt off, take your shirt off.

Empanada: whoa there are kids here and its me D:

Fit: Don't worry, Empanada- Bad's my good friend, and I just want to make sure that he's doing okay, you know? That's all I'm doing.

Bad: [Disappointed] Oh, ok... I guess Pac would be upset if it was anything else. Anyway!

Fit: Wait, what? What? Huh?

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Bagi: I think Badboyhalo is turning green.

Empanada: [In response to Bad saying everything is fine] mhm sure uncle bad i believe you especially

Fit: You might be right, yeah. Wait, hold on- I mean, it's hard to tell with-

Bagi: Without the rainbow stuff, I saw green stuff in his hand- in his back.

Fit: Wait, really?

Bagi: In his back, yeah.

Bad: Yeah, I don't know what Bagi is talking about. [In a loud whisper] Bagi's been seeing things, Fit!

Fit: Hold on, wait- wait. Bad, take your shirt off. Take your shirt off.

Bad: Well, I mean, I don't know if this is the right setting for-

Fit: Take your shirt off. [Leans into the mic and uses a deeper voice] Take your shirt off, take your shirt off, take your shirt off, take your shirt off.

Bagi: [Cracking up]

Bad: OK, ok, ok! It's off! There you go!

Fit: [Sees the infection / marking on Bad's back] Um... That doesn't, uh... Yeah, you might want to get that checked out.

Bagi: It's kinda different, you know?

Fit: Yeah, I think you might want to see a doctor.

Bad: Nah, it looks fine! No, it looks fine.

Empanada: whoa there are kids here and its me D:

Fit: Don't worry, Empanada- I'm just checking- Bad's my good friend, and I just want to make sure that he's doing okay, you know? Like, that's all I'm doing.

Bad: [Disappointed] Oh, ok... I guess Pac would be upset if it was anything else. Anyway!

Fit: Wait, what? What? Huh? Huh? What?

Bad: Oh, you didn't want to check out my muscles? Anyways, it's fine... I just- you know. Anyways...

Empanada: you got pac after all

Fit: Yeah Empanada, he's my roommate! Yeah, he's my roommate, it's- it's- it's cool, it's cool.

Bad: You got Pac, after all. Your roommate.

Fit: My roommate, My roommate.

Empanada: sure tell yourself that

Bad: [Cracks up]

Bagi: [Also cracking up] Oh Empanada, I love you so much! You're definitely my daughter! You're so my daughter! Here- Empanada, here's another cookie for you!

Fit: [Groans] I'm catching strays, I'm catching strays from an Egg today, oh no...

Bad: This is great! Oh, my goodness...

Empanada: you wore each others clothes tio

Fit: Yeah, but that- but I mean, that was- I- I know it- it- um...

Bad: I love this, this is great.

Fit: I got nothing, I got nothing... I got no defense to that.

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

[isa-ah]

met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.

[ladyluscinia]

Oh and since I am already rambling about Izzy's leg and "redemption arcs" tonight - I don't think I commented on this before because no one I'd been talking to about the season has this mindset, but I just want to acknowledge for the record that the idea Izzy went through a successful "redemption arc" is lowkey ridiculous?

Like *I* do not have issues with it because I don't think he did anything he really needed to be redeemed from with the crew. He was mostly an antagonist due to situational reasons and the situation changed, ergo now he's their friend. Minimal characterization-based hurdles involved. The only place he needed to actually talk through some healing and accountability was with Edward, and that's complicated by a) how I am actually criticizing that as unsatisfying, and b) the story tipped the balance of "harms that need to be addressed" so heavily toward Edward that it feels mostly pointless to bring up Izzy anyway. Broadly? Izzy's cool, and he bonded with the crew.

But for people who actually still think Izzy left S1 needing to be held accountable for crimes or overcome some internalized biases he had...? Um. That didn't actually happen on-screen. My guy pretty much got tortured a whole bunch and then given some community support. He's expressing pretty much the same values in 2x01 as he is in 2x06, minus maybe some self-worth (provided by the community support). If you think this a departure from his 1x10 characterization, then all the "redemption arc" growth happened between seasons in a timeskip and as a direct result of being tortured?

Which sounds the opposite of satisfying?

I mean, again, I think the only important realization he makes between 1x10 and 2x01 is "Kraken Era = Bad" and maybe reluctantly accepting "shit Bonnet wasn't just a fling", neither of which is groundbreaking enough he needs to have them on screen, and that his S2 arc is about breaking up with Edward / that self-worth which we do see. But if I thought it was a redemption arc about growth from S1 I would have notes.

[softestepilogue]

full offense but fandoms are unbearable because y’all are unlikable. y’all are so weird and i will die on that hill.

this is like the third time i’ve been in a fandom where a white male SIDE character is heavily favored by the fandom and they start jumping through hoops, and grabbing reasons out their asses, to prove why the main poc character is a terrible person. they will also ignore any wrongdoing of the side white male character.

it’s so fucking weird and exhausting.

[magentagalaxies]

one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)

but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:

"The posters—featuring Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his face—went up around the city on September 10, 2001"

and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"

to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.

anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this

it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week

so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?

another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number

[maddy-ferguson]

talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)

[disappearinginq]

Today I got to tell a story no one in my family had heard before. 

I used to live in Virginia and would travel odd hours on little back roads that never had cell signal when you needed them (usually, the military interfered with cell signal). My car was in the process of catastrophic electrical failure which wouldn’t be diagnosed for the next couple of weeks. So naturally, late in the evening, my car died on the side of the road at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere where I couldn’t call, and I started walking to the service station a few miles up the road. 

A car pulled over and a guy about my age rolled down the window and asked if the car back the other way was mine, and if I needed a lift. I said sure - just to the gas station because I know that’s where the signal comes back, and hopped on in. 

The guy was very nice, a little socially awkward but aren’t we all - and in an attempt to make a joke, he said: “I’m a little surprised you accepted the ride - aren’t you afraid I might be a serial killer?”

and without turning, I laughed and said: “Nah -what’re the odds we both are?”

Man, I wish I had a picture of his face...

[reikunrei]

i still think it's so funny that my brother went on a date with ******* *******

[solomon-tozer]

The last year hasn't been very kind to me, but there's something I'd like to just post about and then try and move on from (it just isn't happening yet, so maybe I need to be honest and stop swallowing my tongue).

Health and all that stuff aside, June really killed my interest in writing because someone I was friends with felt entitled to fic from me. They made a request, which I said I'd try my best to do around exams and everything else that was going on. Given that I'd not written much for a while, I tried to do a few silly warm-up requests/fic once my exams were over to try and ease back into it. They didn't take kindly to this. Their explosive reaction (and not just to this, there were other things, including them being angered by me including my own triggers in my own fic, and mentioning other people in fic notes) really, truly put me off writing. It utterly killed the joy I was rediscovering. I didn't finish the gift fic (which I had started, but wanted to get right for them, because I really did care). I didn't finish the other requests. I haven't really written much at all since then, inspite of having a lot of time now. It was just such an awful experience.

I know I'm being all 'yo guys someone was shitty and it's upset me to the point where I don't know how to love writing again' but keeping quiet for the sake of idk what isn't helping. A few trusted friends knew about this when it happened, but it's still affecting me. It's not okay to act like you're entitled to a creator's fic or art. I will do a request if I can, but if I can't... Hell, in this instance I was working on it, but just not quickly enough for this person's liking?

Anyway, I'm still trying to work out how to get round it and get back into writing again, because I miss having a creative outlet for all the ideas I have and would love to share.

[mrfoox]

God im... Probably too nice but it's fine

[sewerfight]

when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

[nikkento-writes]

It starts with a distasteful joke from Gojo. "I bet Nanami's pretty vanilla in bed, am I right?" He nudges you playfully as he sips on his lychee mocktail in the restaurant. Your boyfriend excused himself to use the bathroom and Ieiri went out for a smoke, leaving you alone with Gojo, who you met for the first time just a little over an hour ago.

You're shocked that he'd even ask such a personal question, especially since your relationship with Nanami is still four-months fresh. Unsure how to respond, you simply laugh, not answering. When he continues to stare at you through his blindfold, your smile falters. "You're being serious?"

He smirks, clearly egging you on. "I just can't imagine our little strait-laced salary man being very fun in the sack. No offense."

You're torn between changing the subject all together into something less inappropriate and defending your lover's honor. And unfortunately for you, as the anger inside you begins to bubble at Gojo's tactless words, you choose the latter. "If you must know, he's very, very fun in the sack." You cross your arms over your chest, glaring at him. 

He shrugs, the shit-eating grin still on his face. "I just can't see it. But as long as you're satisfied, that's all that matters."

"I am very satisfied, thank you very much!" you emphasize, cheeks hot now, annoyed. Before you explode on him, Nanami and Ieiri return, so you try to contain your rage as much as possible throughout the rest of dinner.

You intend to keep his outrageous comments to yourself, not wanting to start any unnecessary drama, especially with Nanami who is above this type of ridiculousness. But remembering Gojo's smug expression makes you irate all over again. That night, while you're cuddling with Nanami, you share the story. "So, Gojo said something funny to me while you were in the bathroom." As you recount the short conversation from earlier, you keep it light-hearted, laughing about it as if it doesn't grind your gears (which it does). In all honestly, your sex life with Nanami is amazing, and while it's nobody's business but your own, you can't help being bothered that certain people think otherwise. 

When you're done, Nanami doesn't respond right away, processing it all before he speaks. "Interesting." His voice is steady, though you can sense a hint of annoyance in his tone. "He's an idiot," he adds, holding you closer, grazing his lips on your forehead. 

You giggle, snuggling into his chest. "I know."

"But...you are satisfied, right?"

The waver of uncertainty in his voice breaks your heart and you almost regret telling him. "Of course I am! You know I am!" you answer confidently, peering up at him.

He kisses your forehead. "You promise?"

Grabbing both his cheeks, you smooch him on the lips. "I promise."

Gentle kisses soon turn into sloppy ones as Nanami rolls on top of you, surrounding you in his strong and muscular body. It happens quickly; the blanket is shrugged off, clothes are stripped and scattered on the floor, your legs are spread wide for him as he eats you out voraciously, proving how much fun he can be in bed. He makes you orgasm twice like this, getting it nice and wet for his hard cock, throbbing in his fist as he strokes it. “Ride me,” he demands, laying on his back, licking his lips while you mount him.

You oblige, sinking down on his cock slowly, adjusting to his size. “Fuck, Kento,” you whine, wiggling on his lap until he bottoms out.

“Feels good, huh sweetheart?” He traces your mouth with his thumb, teasing it.

“Yes. So fucking good.” You suck on his fingers, rocking back and forth on his lap. 

He fucks you like this, his feet planted on the bed, bucking his hips up into you at a steady pace. Suddenly, his phone rings, interrupting for a moment. He glances at it, his expression tensing, showing you the name displayed on the screen: Gojo Satoru.

"Answer it," you say, grinding on him with a wicked smile on your face. "Prove him wrong."

For a split-second, he looks at you like you're crazy. But something in him snaps, probably the same thing that made you so angry earlier. Sometimes, you just want to prove yourself right. 

He picks up the phone, putting it on speaker. Gojo's voice rings out. "Nanami, I feel terrible. I said some inappropriate things to your girl - "

"Fuck me, Kento," you whine, bouncing on his lap as he thrusts up into you faster, entire body hot and electric with pleasure. 

Nanami has the phone in one hand and the other that was just in your mouth playing with your clit now. Through labored breaths, he says, "Sorry Gojo, I'm a bit busy being an absolute bore in bed. Isn't that right, kitten?" 

He holds the phone closer to you while you moan your boyfriend's name, your third climax of the night approaching quickly. "Kento, Kento, fuck me Kento!”

Satisfied, Nanami sets the phone down on the bed, gripping your hips to pound up into you, the squelching of his cock pummeling into your wet cunt so erotic and lewd. “Gonna fill you up, sweetheart. Gonna breed this slutty little pussy.” Over the edge now, he shoots his load inside you, letting out his own husky moans. He hastily lifts you off him to eat you out one last time, his cum leaking down from your cunt onto his chin as he sucks on your swollen clit until you come on his face, moaning obscenities incessantly. Completely spent now, you pull off him to cuddle, kissing each other messily as you both come down from your high. 

"Ahem." Gojo's voice startles you as you realize that neither he nor Nanami bothered to hang up the call. Horrified, the two of you wait with bated breath for his response, noting the suggestive ruffling in the background. "I apologize. I stand corrected."

[wonderthor]

your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.

“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”

he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.

“what do you mean?”

“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”

he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.

“you sure about that?”

you confidentially smirk back at him.

“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”

sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.

“how about we make a bet.”

“a bet? on what?”

“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”

“and what do i get when i win?”

sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

you roll your eyes at him.

“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”

he laughs at you again.

“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”

you take another sip of your drink and lean back.

“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”

“what do you want?”

his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.

“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”

he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.

“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”

time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.

“what do you m-mean by that?”

he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.

“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”

a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.

it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.

but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.

when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.

“guess i win, sweetheart.”

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."