#including not reading their fic even though i always let people know my attention span is shot to shit lately
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The last year hasn't been very kind to me, but there's something I'd like to just post about and then try and move on from (it just isn't happening yet, so maybe I need to be honest and stop swallowing my tongue).
Health and all that stuff aside, June really killed my interest in writing because someone I was friends with felt entitled to fic from me. They made a request, which I said I'd try my best to do around exams and everything else that was going on. Given that I'd not written much for a while, I tried to do a few silly warm-up requests/fic once my exams were over to try and ease back into it. They didn't take kindly to this. Their explosive reaction (and not just to this, there were other things, including them being angered by me including my own triggers in my own fic, and mentioning other people in fic notes) really, truly put me off writing. It utterly killed the joy I was rediscovering. I didn't finish the gift fic (which I had started, but wanted to get right for them, because I really did care). I didn't finish the other requests. I haven't really written much at all since then, inspite of having a lot of time now. It was just such an awful experience.
I know I'm being all 'yo guys someone was shitty and it's upset me to the point where I don't know how to love writing again' but keeping quiet for the sake of idk what isn't helping. A few trusted friends knew about this when it happened, but it's still affecting me. It's not okay to act like you're entitled to a creator's fic or art. I will do a request if I can, but if I can't... Hell, in this instance I was working on it, but just not quickly enough for this person's liking?
Anyway, I'm still trying to work out how to get round it and get back into writing again, because I miss having a creative outlet for all the ideas I have and would love to share.
#rhubarb crumbles#truly a vent post#actually kinda cathartic#bc yea this really fucking sucked this person went off at me over the tiniest things you would not even believe#including not reading their fic even though i always let people know my attention span is shot to shit lately#i'm in serious burnout yo#anyway that's that i've said my bit#we'll see if i manage to write again but looking at how much i put out in the first few months of 2022#compared to the rest of the year... ouch#i wish i could share the silliest thing they lost their shit at me for bc it's so funny now it's surreallllll#shoutout to the friends who were my sanity check during this stuff#love you guys even if you won't see this
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Omg, that last fic you just wrote, omg 😭😭, I was like, wowww!! And then the end say 'to be continued', I legit just cried reading that, I need more of this please, you can't stop at that 😭 . Anyways your fic is always good and I love reading it when there is a new update 🥹
Sun
Female reader
Warnings : Love bombing. Manipulation.
⌜Aww, thank you dearie for loving my fiction. It's warms my heart to know you enjoy and here, it is the second chapter⌟
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒
Life is full of unexpected surprises and she could had never assumed his approach in her life as well as his lies and motives. Is giving second chance to the same man broken your heart the right decision ?
Cameron and (Y/N) both went to the same high school. Separately not together. There is a vivid difference, they might shared the same high school, same year, same section even shared same desk however they never shared words let alone looks because way before they both knew they will share an romantic bond, one thing was clear to her that he was the sun and is the sun to this day. Before these university students knew him or even met him, (Y/N) recognize him just from his mere name, a name so unforgettable, so different it made people crank their neck and once look at the said boy's face to be beyond satisfied, it lure people in more than they already were like sun does and thankfully she wasn't one of them in her high school time because he didn't wanted to lure her, catch her attention. She vaguely remembers how in the class he didn't spare a glance at her as if she was never present, a ghost of once lived person that's how she was treated by Cameron unlike by other students who knew her, liked her including her friends who she had to farewell to attend in the current university she is in. It was a very bittersweet emotions, full of fear and new possibility to come and one of those possibility Cameron was never even a suspect.
The popular boy, the sun of the school also succeed becoming the heart of campus within a span of months, like each passing person wrapped around his fingers and she could see why, his personality down to earth, no necessary fights, teacher's golden boy and rarely a showoff why would he ? when his causal go to shoes, watches, dress are more than enough to recognize from one look. A independent money maker makes his own brand by money but people born with money are the brand. No in-between she believes yet she never envies or wanted it because as much as she knew money buys everything even happiness because one of the choices it buys is where happiness lies along consequences, misery, stress, fakeness so she is content with her life, walking though her major classes holding books and studying hard to pass like others, blending into faces of others and ever once catching glimpse into the heart of campus boy circled by his friend groups, all laughing, enjoying. Looking genuine picture perfect friendship she yearn back recalling her own tore friendships due to decreased calls, different schedule and distance. In here, she is a loner, studier. Well, to think of the brighter side she has her twenty-four seven hour privacy, assignments submit on time and grades better than one another and on weekends have time to spend with parents.
"Today chapter 8 will be studied.." She tailed off sitting on the first row of her classroom with few more students on their seats, her eyes focus on the chapter they will be studying which she already did and even though it went over her head, at least she is prepared however thinking of the teacher makes her regret seating on the first row. What if he asks her questions ? and embarrass her in front of everyone and be the jester of their cruel joke for a week or two until a new comes ? No, (Y/N) isn't here to be remembered so her hands jumbly grab her spread belongings and went to the last row and sit on the corner where the teacher might have problem spotting her like a shark smelling for blood because of his near-sighted vision.
A sigh pass her lips, feeling less anxiety. Anxiety ? her mood sombre of how once people grow and shed their childhood lives into adulthood, it also earn new things like anxiety she never had before. What a life. Another sigh pass her lips.
"You are sighing a lot for someone so studious". The sound of his voice, both gentle and jarring made her jump with surprise. Her mind knew who it was to turn her head to face the Cameron she never knew would be talking to her, sparing a glance. Her wide eyes met his daze ones, his head rest on his shoulder on the desk like his sleeping was disturbed.
"I am sorry". She mumble not knowing why she had.
"It's okay, so ?" A yawn escape his lips.
"So ?" Her voice quiet yet the room quieter she was afraid her heart racing could be heard. It was his time to sigh now, slowly sitting up only to lean back in his chair.
"Why did you come from the front to back ?" His gaze lazy and voice husky.
"I thought you were sleeping". Her words escape more than she could allow.
"I was not, only laying". He shrug his shoulders. "Resting". Tiredly he announced making her head nod. "So ?" (Y/N) gulp, licking her lips, suddenly a stranger to talks perhaps the person not be the heart of campus without difficulty she would answer.
"I was scared for the professor to ask me question and I do not want to be embarrassed by not knowing the answer". She doesn't know if his constant nods were for understanding or a show.
"So, even a studious person is fearful ?" A smile tug his lips like the tugs inside her heart. Did she never notice how handsome he is while smiling. Wait, her mind pause for a second questioning how he knew of her existence, yes at first she notice the word but repeating it makes him appear he knows her.
"How do you know I am studious ?" Was the question inappropriate ? laughable ? because why is he chuckling like she said a joke ? maybe he notice her confusion too for him to cough and hide the unhidden blooming smile.
"Everybody knows you. Yes, you think cool kids are popular". His both hand's fingers quote. "But smart kids are also known, where you also fall in that". Oh. Really ? then why no one forward a hand to be her friend she desire to ask but refrained.
"Okay". At her quiet voice he nod his head and her eyes concentrate back to the chapter she left earlier, feeling her skin burn under his gaze. For the entire time until professor Martin came did she felt relief to breath after his watchful gaze was taken off, gulping hard and head decking a little to not caught the professor's eye.
"Good morning class, let's start the new chapter, shall we ?" The students clearly with lack of energy spoke yes in unison satisfying the professor who's eyes scan the page for a minute.
"Here it comes". Her fingers cross, heart ratting against her cage.
"Because this chapter is almost like a squeal of before chapter, how about I ask how much you remember chapter 7 ?" a sadistic smile appear on his lips with his eyes searching a prey to relief his stess of personal life. "Hey you !" His finger pointed to her and her heart paused, breath halted and soul whisk outside of body.
"Yes ! You boy". Huh ? Her eyes narrow slightly realizing the finger is actually pointed to Cameron, not her. How grateful to god she is biting back a smile yet feeling sympathy for him. Cameron smile standing up.
"Explain your feeling of this art movement". The professor asked pointing to the art display on the huge projector. (Y/N) saw the painting and her curious mind desire to know his answer.
Confidently Cameron spoke "It's a revolutionary paradigm shift, sir! It'll unlock the secrets of the human psyche, tap into our collective unconscious, and reveal the meaning of life!" Her jaw dropped and the professor's harden.
"What !" Her eyes stare at his side face.
"It's a style of wallpaper design from the 1970s. You've been reading too much into the patterns". Dryly Martin said. "I asked your feelings about the painting not analysis". The silent class bust out into laughter yet (Y/N)'s ears notice the laughs aren't biting, harsh, even mocking rather the opposite she experienced with her friends if she said a dad joke. A mellow comforting it was just like he is, smiling sheepily as if he isn't even ashamed.
"Mr. Clerk—".
"You know me sir ?" A forced sigh left the professor being cut off.
"Do. Not. Dare. Cut. Me. Off". Slowly he warned, his lips curving to the letters like he wants to slap the young lad with it causing Cameron comically make a zip his lips only to increase the laughter from the students. "Also in collage here is no student or teacher not heard of you".
Professor glaring directly. "So, Mr. Clerk, may I know why a business student is in my art class ? It's a far different class to be lost". Bemused his voice was. Right, (Y/N) realize how never did she met him so close before because their majors are completely different.
Her eyes slide up to flinch meeting his.
"He is staring at me". A strange sensation slit her body inside. The bright blazing eyes of his bored into without the intention of looking away.
The aged voice clearly losing thread of patience. "Mr. Clark, eyes on me". She look down in fear of getting caught.
"Think of it to study with my crush". Her heart skip a beat feeling his eyes still heat her skin abnormally. "Sir". He added finally taking the gaze to the aged man.
Groaning the teacher. "Make sure to not fail". Defeated the older man roll his eyes knowing serious answer won't be earned out of him. Or was it really a serious answer (Y/N) wondered for some reason glancing to see him sit before averting to resume her study like the teacher.
As usual her mind focus, eyes on information to soak and finger holding pen to copy any important notes however what unusual she feels is his occasional asking questions of few things. How distant was she to forget the interaction with strangers ? Or maybe his presence cause her react differently.
Watching his polite, humble and funny side from so close, so near she almost felt she could see the sun directly without being blind as writing a tiny smile curve to her lips having someone beside her, not alone.
"Okay then, see you tomorrow". The professor left holding his belongings looking as if he fought a war and (Y/N) strech her stiff shoulders and begin packing when a figure towered over her in front of her desk. From below her (E/C) eyes saw the familar black shirt he wore with jacket.
"What is your name ?" Her hands halted as her eyes look at him through her lashes.
"Why you ask ?" She returned with an question.
"Because I want to ask you a favor".
"What is it ?"
"Well, I want to do arts and I am terrible at it knowing my course is business but you know, there is a thing called burned out ? So I wanna try something new yet need a person to help me...". He tailed off, gazing sideways himself and he didn't need to finish when it reach her.
He needs her to be his tutor.
"I am average myself. You should ask the top student". She suggested, zip the chain with a click.
"But I am comfortable with you only". He blurt her and stole her breath. "Also I saw you today, your skills are good, really good". He awkwardly compliment, smiling as he himself, the campus of the heart is shy. How strange, She thought seeing a side she never knew would be towards her.
"Okay". She agree not seeing any reasons not to unaware along opening the gates of her life, she opened her heart too.
They exchange numbers and decide to study at liberty checking their schedule and part ways. Her mood was cherrier, happier feeling a step closer being with someone, knowing a new person regardless of their popularity walking through the halls to reach her next session.
BANG !
Her heart jumped on her throat despite used to hear them everyday, the vivid jerking, banging was usual, a daily occurrence she wish wasn't. Her (E/C) eyes went to the owner of the sound— four boys surround another boy slamming his body like a ragdoll to the metal bars, depriving pleasure from the boy who's blood trickle from his forehead painting a gut-wrenching scene she was forced to look away, walking without a second thought, like a coward, an accomplish.
But what could she do ? she won't be the first to complaint, forward a hand and become next target of the gang, the leader— Adrien, his face flash her mind, sending a sour taste on her lips knowing the information he is one of the many friends of Cameron. Despite never involving with the bullying himself, he never stood to retaliate either however then again the bullying never happen in his prescene always his lack of.
"Was it good to be closer to him ?" Hate the sin, never the sinner. A saying her mother speak frequently which she disagree with also in this case Cameron isn't even the sinner so pushing him, judging him without knowing him isn't it harsh ? Stop. Stop. focus on study. She remind to divert from a dilemma that isn't even hers to choose.
The next classes were at ease as she focus on her studies and went to home only to receive a text message from him reminding her of their beginning of the sessions. A nervous shudder pass her spine and doubts creeping her whether she will reach his expectation making her study extra hard not to disappoint.
Day 1
She smiling, held her book tightly to her chest walk to her period. Her eyes glance at the window to stare at the burning sun and suddenly she thought "How pretty it is". Before flinching.
A deafening unpleasant noise shudder her body as she stop in her tracks. She open her eyes daring to look at the direction of the noise she knew was their bullying however she stopped herself. It's none of her business and she rather like not getting involved walked away as always, this time gulit worse because she feels like a remorseless person left without sparing a glance. Cruel. Cruel and selfish she is so are others she felt.
"It's okay. Study". Convincing herself mentally she went inside the class drowning in studies and like a cool breeze of summer time pass along classes when she stretch her hands finally catching a break when a notification catch her attention.
"Could you meet now to study ?" She didn't had to look who and beyond happiness she collect her belongings walking to the library after typing "Yes". And there she found him sitting turning the white pages of book by his slender pale fingers. The sun's ray behind him like a halo of angel glowed him and in the bluest sky of white birds flew above his head he looked nothing less than a dream, a beautiful dream her heart strings tug hard and fingers twitch to capture the heavenly moment.
"How beautiful he is". For a motal daring to merely look at the sun is a blessing she felt. Unaware it burns those same eyes too. Naïve little girl she could hear her grandmother scold. Beautiful faces have the most wicked hearts a saying her grandmother learnt and passed to her who ignored walking near him and sat earning those onyx eyes on her and a grin on his lips.
"Shall we start ?" She nod happily, teaching him the best she can, answering his each question patiently, clearly even sometimes using visuals to understand the topic more clearly and like a good guy he is, nod, doing as he is told, correcting his mistakes with apologizes and thinking with his brain not his ego. Slipping some compliments too pulling small smiles and chuckle out of her.
Their study session was at ease the buzz of time limit alarmed her because the ticks of clock melt like water in their moments she couldn't realize how much time pass. Seem it surprise even him.
"See, I told you. I am comfortable with you". Grinning he proved a point she didn't even considered.
"I can see". Smiling, her finger pad press the red circle of stop on the alarm. "Also for a beginner you are great. Beyond average". Honestly she said, a lace of envy hidden underneath. How could it not when a beginner like him is better than she was sinking another realization how some people are born genius, exceptional to ace anything.
"No, nothing like that". He was quick to shut the praises, his brows furrow so is hers. She tilt her head.
"Why ? It's brilliant". His shinning onyx eyes bore into hers.
"It's alright". He shrug, still denying the great art he done. A art better than most of her art peers.
"Well.." Biting her lips, her fingers took the sheet of paper. "Yes, it's alright than most of the seasoned artist including me but look at the way you draw it in your first time with the lighting, shading, coloring. I think it's marvelous". She look at him and his thin pressed lips bust out laughing. She remained pluzzed.
He laughs a lot she notice and it was comforting like the rays of sun touching the skin when it's setting down at sunset.
"Alright to others...." In between the soft words slip, laughing before glancing to her. "Thank you. You are funny". She is ? For the first time someone said it to her, even her friends of previous high school do not consider her the clown of their group, she was always the silent type of the group. Well, some people just appear different to other eyes she assume.
"Welcome and thank you". Wider her smile become only to turn pale remembering she is late to her class. "Oh shit !" Grabbing her things she stood up. "I am sorry, goona go". He laughing nod, waving byes. Looking amused.
Day 2
"Sorry, I am late". Panting puff of her heavy breath, she sat down. Rubbing her eyes a little.
"Why ? Chased by a tiger perhaps ?" Her weighted sleepy eyes awaken and hands halted. She look at her him and he smile wider. "Joking. It's to make people laugh". Mellow his laugh vibrate at his own sillyness. Never knew joke was part of his self. Then again she know nothing about him other than at passing glances. Somehow that meaningless moment to him was a flutter to her heart because she was learning about him.
The sleep from her eyes vanish and with sweet feeling she begin forgetting how sour her day was, waking up late due to her alarm clock's battery low and coming to class late and be center of attention of teacher's scornful eyes and almost fell asleep again when the class ended slip away the thought of their session. Like a candy he was, with one taste on her lips the more she savored the tiny thing the sweeter it taste to fresh her mind.
They begin studying and as usual the time melt in back as the pair focus on the important things. With him studying never felt like a chore rather a favorite time of her day where she could share her ideas, methods to someone at the end of day where the other would genuinely listen and he does. Soak her methods and appreciate her.
"So if you ever want to do the shading good you have to—".
Please please please don't prove I'm right ! Please please please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nic—
SLAM ! Closing her eyes in embrassment she shut the phone down and open to see him hiding his same smile.
"I forget to silent my phone". Sweating nervously, she blurt out, glancing to other few students who seem to be in their little bubble and she silently curse to not make the same mistake she once did. Quickly she message her mother who's personally she tune the song for that she will talk late. She is busy.
"Okay ! So where we were..." Tailling she avert her eyes to meet his despite feeling the weight on her self.
"You like Sabrina Carpenter ?" She wince not wanting to recall the moment ago mistake. Blush red her skin, she knows she is overreacting yet little moments like this keep her awake at darkest of night.
"Can we—".
"It's okay. I am just asking". He pursed his lips. "Because of her sudden hype ?" He cleared his throat, genuine interested in her answer.
"No !" Too eager she deny.
"Then ?" Cameron push a little.
"Well, I liked her for a long time. From the song feather". Expect honesty her whisper voice said.
"And I from nonsense". Drop ! The casualty of his unfolding another part of himself was surprising that she turn to look at him shock.
"O my god ! I never thought you would also know her from that time !"
"Common than you know, like finding people with similar likings".
"Yes ! But not from you" Shit ! Her hands clasp on her lips little late than the words escape causing the tables to turn and his eyes to suddenly wide.
"Really ? Am I that uncool and unapproachable ?" Hint of offense lace in his voice she couldn't hide her blossoming smile. "Wow ! What a girl, you are laughing at me now". Scoffing Cameron playfully glare at her wider her smile too much than her comfort.
"Sorry, I am sorry". Snort overshadowed her apologies that he scoff louder. Not out of offense rather at fun. She shuffle her laugh a little well. "I am genuinely sorry". With her best thin pressed lips she said.
"Are you ?" Skeptical he narrow his eyes.
"No". She bust out laughing so does he. She is laughing a lot she felt, he is contagious she thought. His habit clinging to her. Not good for her heart as she mute her laugh at best.
"It's okay I was joking. I like your laugh". Her heart skip a beat and the blush deepen. Not good for her heart indeed.
Day 3
"I am thinking nightcore should be popular again". Out of blue he commented, the back of his pen within his fingers poke his pink lips.
"Huh ?" She tilt her head, coloring the shade without glancing she could feel his gaze rest on her. Out of blue he likes to say the most random things she ever known. Another unknowm part of his she entered.
"Yes, because I was listening the mix nightcore songs named six pills and seven days by Rosendale". She pause. Look up at him.
"O my god ! He is such a underrated star ! I love his the rose and the king song". Cameron sit straight, a habit she observed when he found something interesting.
"I too ! I like his the neighbors. The way he makes stories turn into songs it just amazing ! He has a talent and need recognization". (Y/N) truly believed that thought.
"Also I do agree your thinking of nightcore needs popularity because you heard the male nightcore version of alibi by underdogs". Cameron shake his head. He didn't and with pleasure she pick her phone that is on silent mode and put the song.
Her fingers then gave him the otherside of earbuds to listen and he took it, his onxy eyes stare at the thumbnail a little. A smirk lift his lips.
"You sure, you didn't click the video by the image of geto from jjk ?" His eyebrows raise at her pause before connecting their eyes.
"Yes, so what ? I am just a girl". Puff her chest she said, pat twice on her chest he flicker his eyes at to her face. Snicker he listen to the song, drawing his heart out and on the other end of earbuds she finish her unfinished works. Both basking at one another's presence. The sunset outside with birds was pretty too.
Day 4
"Class, tomorrow the test results will be in your hands ! Hopefully you all have done well". Professor Martin said, holding the bunch of white sheets and leaving groaning and sighing students behind.
A sigh came to his ear. Cameron turn his head to his seatmate. (Y/N) who is on her shoulder rest her head. At the verge of tears.
"What happen ? Not good ?" She shake her head in his confusion. "Then ? Extremely bad ?" She shake her head again to further puzzle him. "Then ?"
"It was good, great actually ?" He nod, a sign to continue. "And that's worrisome ! Because how can all the questions answer can I know ? There must be few where or many where I will be found wrong ! There is no way I found all the questions revisioned !". A chortle pass his lips as he rest on his shoulder too, facing her on the desk.
"(Y/N), that only means you were brilliant. Not that deep". Soft the edges of his eyes become, staring at her and for some reason a bubble of their own little world came to her, washing away others behind leaving only him and her. Them alone.
His eyes on hers and heat of their hands brushing against each other and knees touch a little. They are close she felt. Closer to where she felt to call him as her friend yet her cowardness was bigger than her courage to say out loud. She was afraid of rejection, deathly afraid. The reason why she never forward hand of friendnship to others first in fear of rejection or played. So, clearing her throat, ripping the tight silent air she sat up, rubbing her lips together.
"Would you like to go to a cafe ?" Breathing she meet his daze onyx, unfear of anything as he layed on the desk. "With me ?" It took her a back at his sudden proposal.
"Why ?" Her voice quiet.
"Because I want to". His simply words assure her afraid heart.
"When ?" Still averting eyes he manage to surprise her.
"Right now".
"Right now ?" Her words louder she quickly dart her sight to find no one. "So suddenly ?" She felt strange. A little funny inside her stomach.
"As I said, because I want to". He sit up. "So will you ?"
"Yes". (Y/N) agreed finding herself few minutes later at a little serene and cushy cafe. Few people drink away their peace, spending their time either in alone or sharing with another. Waiters with genuine smiles serve the orders, enjoying their lives too.
"So how are you liking it ?" His words snap her from her trance, tearing her eyes to look further and focus on him.
"Wonderful. Better than I expected". Truly she expected to be uncomfortable at a bustling or expensive cafe instead of a little cafe like this turn reality from children's fairytale. She didn't even know let alone pass a cafe called 'cutieeva'. Truly a befitting name for the sweetness.
"Glad to know that I did not disappoint you". He sip the drink he order and (Y/N) did too, fond of the aroma and the drink too much. Perfect after a stressful day. "Perfect after a stressful day isn't it ?" Like a magician he said her thoughts out loud. Wide her eyes slightly.
"Yes". Thoughtlessly she said yes, one sip of the drink when a thought pass her mind. A thought she desired to say yet afraid to be false.
"Did you choose it for...." She crease her voice. "me ?" She finished with a breath.
"Yes". His eyes on the tea. "I thought to see you not have winkles on your forehead sooner that's why I brought you here". The little thought touch her body to warm her even in the cloudy whether. To stranger she was, one of the million to him yet he cared of her mind more like a friend. She couldn't help feel special. His kindness win her trust little by little.
Day 5
SLAP !
The noise never fails to fuel her gulit and darkness little by little. Blaming her a part that it was her fault the poor boy was still receiving bullyin— no the word isn't severe enough. Abuse and violence he was getting. Why ? All because one person wants to vent on a living being, the weakest of the group. Her eyes dare look at him. The bloody face, painted in red. Drenched in strench. Plant in shame and laughed in misery. An unfair game it was. Adrien had no right to toy with someone's life, emotions, body. It simply shows he is the weakest of the group. People who can't control their immature feelings. People who toy with others are the worst and they are better off dead she believes because a human heart is fragile even though the thing stays inside hard bones of cage if hit too many times even the hardest cages break to be too late to save.
So, decide to be a braver person, better version of herself she find a white untained napkin in her bag. One step she took, the painful groan fill her ears.
Two steps. Their mocking laughs surround her vision.
Three steps. His face slammed on the metal like a bull.
Four steps. "(Y/N) !" A loud yell of her name tear her head to the direction. The voice of the owner was Cameron. The boy she never thought call her name out in front of all. Because their meetings kept within the walls of library and little glances exchange when met in passing each other. Never did one of them step forward to knowledge the other until now. It surprise her, she will be honest and the others too because Adrian's eyes on her now, a wicked smirk playing on his lips and those knowing eyes seem so odd, wrong.
"(Y/N), I was hoping would you like to go to cafe with me today ?" His proposal taken her a back again, a minute ago when their session finished not a word he utter and suddenly he says misleading words in front of others.
"Uh—". Too aware of scornful eyes of thousand, hush whispers and the light tower over her was so sudden she felt awkward, out of place. Still she said "Okay". Rejecting him in the spotlight would bruise his heart she knew was kind and soft also she adores his gentleman presence.
"Let's go then". Placing a hand behind her back (Y/N) felt was a gesture of comfort. They about to walk away.
A whistle made her turn her head not his. He kept his head straight. "Cameron forget our hangout ?" Another of his friend beside Adrian grin, too wide to be friendly yet too happy to be not. They were all too happy, she felt confusion not shy like she should because it remind her of her friendship where if her crush came near her, the other girls giggles, laugh and create all sorts of silly sounds. That was endearing not this, it felt like a insider joke she wasn't welcome.
But is it even a joke when Cameron wasn't laughing, his face serious. The first time she saw this face in her prescene so unlike of the happy, goofy ones. "I am not going". No looking back he walked, pressing his hand on her back to drag her feet away too.
"Dude ! Enjoy your date". The sentence made her blush yet the biting laugh wince her for some reason. Something feels unreal, wrong. She can't bring to put her finger on.
A nervous laugh she let out to break the tension. "They are funny". It seems to work, because a grin break out.
"They sure are". So he does love his friends, because he won't say that otherwise. They both reach the same cafe, sitting opposite of each other, sipping their drinks.
Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat.
The sounds of water always awaken a happiness within her. The louder the drops hitting the ground, the harder she could laugh, the harsher waters fall the smoother she felt. Perhaps this sterms from her naïve thought that even cloudes need to cry sometimes and that comfort her. That she wasn't alone, the sadness of clouds were there for her. Crying alongside her or simply crying to her, drowning the road away.
"Shall we leave then ?" The cup cleaned empty from how delicious it was and Cameron who always silly, goofy seem gloomy and silent. Maybe cloudy weather didn't comfort him, sunny must do because he looks alive on those days. Happy and charming as if even the sun was glowing for him.
"I would like to stay for few minutes". Tender at the edge his voice was, place the porcelain cup with a light click and continue to stare at the empty cup like thoughts minging inside him.
His face shadowed and the mute colors of the cloudes hid the sun away completely, turning the roads slippery with it's sadness. He looks sad. She thought and for the first time she realize how she comes to not like the rainy day, blaming it for him. When a idea plant in her head convincing her to stand up and go near the waiter.
Cameron for some reason can't stop lowering his gaze. From confusion or hatred he is unaware but he prefers to not meet her warm (E/C) eyes. Those intelligent and honest mirror of hers. The shade of her eyes unconsciously come to be his favorite. "Here". A little shuffle of plastic pass his ears and a cream white bun wrapped in a plastic came to his sight.
"Eat it. Whenever I feel sad. I always eat it, makes me happy. Eating food is a way to relieve stress for me". (Y/N) smiling ear to ear gave him, sit beside him for a support she knew was never said.
Hmm ? Tilt his head, Cameron hold the bun and he look at her finally meeting those very same eyes his heart skip beats for, race fast and he felt like falling in love again. Rainy days never made for him yet the drops of water seem serene with her.
His hand touch her hand, intertwining like pieces of puzzle. Her breath hitched. Intimate the touch felt and caress of his thumb seem an unspoken approval. Her eyes flicker to his lips to his clear eyes where her own self seem far beautiful than she was, as if looking at herself from his view where she is most beautiful of all. The onyx eyes drop to her lips and stayed, her lips part a little and suddenly she felt dry.
Doubts creep in the back of her mind. This is not what she precieve, right ? His face lean a little, the warmth of his hand overshadow the coldness of the rainy breeze. He rest his forehead on hers and gosh, the people, whispers, droplets of rain all went in vain, white noise. She suck her breath, a knot in her throat and funny her stomach felt not knowing what to do. First time she is closer to a boy before in her high school, or middle school only limited to lacing hands.
Does she want it ? The kiss ? He lean more, chocolate breath of his coffee caress her gently and she close her eyes. Scared and uncertain. The knot of her throat more tighten and the funny in her stomach vanish leaving her stomach empty.
His lips about to touch, his warmth about to spread on her lips too when CLASP ! (Y/N) flinch, fear her life turn away and find a waiter accidentally break a glass. Heart racing inside her cage so fast she is afraid it might break out and the knot in her throat become lighter and doubts flee away.
Quitely she dare look at him through her lashes and breath hitched to find him stare her already. Pulses of her beat race faster and before her heart could bust bloody she stood up. "A-actually I reme-mber I have something to do". Stuttering she took her belongings, lay her payment of order and left without hearing his reply. Too afraid, too awkward to hear anything.
Day 6
"He's late". Sitting alone at their library, waiting for him was scary because of how unknown she is to his feelings. She knew him only for days to know if he cross the boundary in heat of moment or genuinely like her in that way. A way she is unsure if she feels the same but if she didn't why let him kiss her ? Strange confusion is feeling. Uncertain both his returning and her feelings.
Leaning back on the chair, peeking at the open window to see the cloudy weather cowering the sun makes her heart ache a little. She liked the warmth of the sun, it's ray kissing her skin and light to her sight. How odd once a rainy lover comes to love the sun too ? Suddenly buzz of her phone startled her realizing their session end and her next period is about to begin.
(Y/N) curl her fingers to fist, dugging crescent moons on her palm. At least the physical pain will divert her from the doubts of him ran away. That he toss her, threw her like a used person or became a coward person to go hiding after attempt to kiss her. She doesn't know which is worse. Perhaps the latter because at least her heart rest to know he liked her enough to try kiss her not for fun.
She waited few more minutes. Watching the clouds thunder.
More minutes to watch the thunders turn to small droplets of rain.
More minutes for the cloudy to cry finally. Rain heavy to soak the earth with it's sadness.
"It's time". She decided glancing at the time. She risked to almost miss her class and now if she hurry enough her class won't be miss so she grab her belongings with reluctant.
TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.
Following loud sounds of footsteps did her (E/C) eyes saw Cameron standing. Panting his breath and little soaked at the sleeve and shoes holding a small bouquet of flower.
"I am sorry. I am late. I miscalculated that how long my class held me so when I went to buy flowers, almost all the shops near were closed so when I went to far I didn't knew what time pass". (Y/N) saw his eyes averting at every second and blush red his ears as his hand forward the daisy in his hand. A symbol of first love for a girl she read one time.
"The reason I went to buy flowers because I want you to be my girlfriend and flowers were my first thought to propose with". Shy his voice was and gaze lowering so many often times she fears he will never look again.
Joyful laughter spread across the empty library causing the boy to look up and met with the scene he almost felt his heart stop. Her lips wide in happiness escaping sounds of joy and eyes almost close in bliss behind her the sounds of rain melt like an painting he swears she is the most beautiful girl.
"I would love to be your girlfriend". Smiling so wide her apple of cheeks hurt she strench her hand to accept the flower when yelp pass her lips and eyes wide feeling his fingers circle around her wrist, pull her to collid the lips they couldn't yesterday. A satisfied sigh left his lips while (Y/N) pause.
A furrow in her brows came when his tongue part her lips to slip and move their lips together, in a rhythm like a melody of a beautiful song that is only made for them. He tastes like chocolate she notice. He taste good, smell good with rain however a sense of unease silt her stomach as his lips hungrier, greedier and pulling their breaths closer than more possible. The soft kiss melt into desire with their teeth mingling and his tongue exploring her flesh, sucking and licking all inside she felt she suffocated and in split of desperation she pushed him, sucking breath to her lungs.
Cameron panting to breath whisper "I am sorry". Holding her body and resting his face to her crook of neck.
"It's okay". She wondered if all first kiss were this passionate and the fairytale kisses were lies.
"Is your class starting now ?" He stare at her. "Are you free ?" The hopefulness in his voice melt her heart that changed even her mind.
As something told her utter out the words she never knew would be uttering. "I do not have any". The smile in his lips was enough to satisfy the lie. A lie she didn't regret telling.
Day 7
"I was wondering something—". Sitting beside each other. (Y/N) continue to say. "—at our first day when professor Martin asked why were you there and you answered to study with your crush. Was that a lie ?" Or truth she left unspoken, fear to be false. His hand on her waist caressing.
"What do you think ?" He returned with a question, she narrowed her eyes playfully as he tenderly smile more.
"Lie ?" She wished for him to correct her.
"Yes. It was". He spoke hiding his face on her neck. Peppering small kisses. She bite her lips and curl her fingers in tense of the sudden affections but she question if he is telling her the truth.
Lost in thoughts she felt him kiss on her neck tailing to her chin and to her lips finally. She pulled away laughing learning how touchy he is. "You are clingy". A little intense too. He laughs.
"How can I not be when I have the girl I like in my arms ?" Flirtatious words deepen her tone of blush very much to the strawberry Cameron likes to eat.
"What a flirt". Pushing him away to have space she lean on the chair. The libray is empty and a relive fill her because she wish no one to see her like this.
"Cameron, What are you doing ?" Adrien voice stuck her in her root. Many other footsteps close the gap when they come from her behind.
"Hey !" He greet her and (Y/N) didn't spoke a word, keeping her eyes on Cameron. She hates violent people and he is one.
"What are you doing buddy ?" Another of his friend, William asked, darting his blue eyes between the couple.
"Date with your girl perhaps ?" Giggling the red haired girl said, Harper.
(Y/N) thought for a second whether their relationship is secret or not and she definitely wanted the latter because relationships are meant to be open and they are in collage so it shouldn't be a problem.
"Yes, I am his girlfriend. Nice to meet you". She said noticing how he is not introducing her nor laughing like he does. He is looking grim.
"Oh ! Girlfriend ?" William smirk, the snicker made her discomfort for some reason. "Nice to meet you too". He forward his hand to shake but Cameron slap it away.
"We will be going". He commented, taking her hand to drag her away from the group. From behind (Y/N) heard the laughter increase and she felt weird. Shouldn't they be upset instead of laughing ? And why is he dragging her away ? Was their relationship meant to be secret ? Is he angry ? Was she wrong to say out loud their love for each other.
"Cameron.." She stopped, that face. The same shadowed face scare her, afraid to snap him. His jaw clench, lips pressed thin and eyes clouded with unknown thoughts. He looks scary. She didn't ask at the end.
Day 8
Life in collage after having a boyfriend didn't change much. The same mundane early mornings, walking through the hallway to classes save for the open abuse. She wonder did Adrian got bored and toss him away, she hopes so for the boy's health going on her day to study. The another change was their meeting at library isn't for study solely rather to spend sweet little time where he is as intense and touchy. Bathing her in pure hearts, bringing foods to fill her hungry stomach, whispering flirtous words.
He is the perfect boyfriend she ever dreamed of. The perfection of the sun she fell for. She is more than happy to do the same that's why she remembers his favorite foods, surprise him with little token of loves, share interest together. Not a single second of their share time was bitter or sour. It was fill with such sweetness a candy couldn't even satisfy now.
She happily even told her parents who were elected to see their daughter dating a good man from the praises she sang of him and they are too happy to meet him if possible which Cameron says he will meet when the right time comes.
"Three".
"Two".
"One !" (Y/N) felt a surge of relieve seeing Cameron came right at time before professor could enter. She wave her hand a little to help him spot her where he smiles and sat next to her.
"Hi". He greets her putting his bag back on the side.
"Hi". She greets him back, smiling in adoration.
"Cinderella".
"Aren't they are the Cinderella couple ?"
"O my god ! That's so cool ! I root for her".
"Shut up ! It's not that serious dating, you idiot !"
"Yes, they aren't actually dating".
Cinderella. (Y/N)'s favorite Disney princess because of how Ella, the real name of her was full of kindness and silent resilient. So, after dating Cameron their relationship slammed into Cinderella felt more like a mock to her.
"What's wrong with people". She roll her eyes thinking are these students from middle school ? Calling a couple Cinderella simple based for the fact they see Cameron as a prince and her a pleasant. (Y/N) wasn't from a poor family, her family fairly wealthy than middle class and they were normal couple. The whispers of the name always follows her.
"It's okay (Y/N), do not pay attention". Calmly his palm pat on her back, meeting her eyes to smile and she returned in a smaller one. She knew Cameron hated it and their dating became so public after they met his friend group yesterday. The one to sprinkle gossip. Talk about rudness yet a relive met her mind at Cameron's openness about their relationship.
Professor entered the class and (Y/N) couldn't help but sneak her hand under his to touch and Cameron glance at her, a twitch on his lips before intertwining to her surprise. A smile couldn't stop blossoming as she lean and rest her body to him peeking to find a smile on his too.
Day 9
"Cameron, you know that I like you for you not for the gifts you give me everyday". Leaving a exhausted sigh she look at the fourth gift of their short relationship. A golden ring for her pinky finger and as much as it's endearing to see it's burdening as she was gifted unwanted and not needed things.
"But I like to seeing you in my things". Lifting the smile she comes to adore he hold the tiny ring and pull her closer to kiss, a slow and soft kiss. A kiss she prefers than those passionate ones when a grasp part her mouth and (Y/N) broke to find him slide the ring on her finger already.
Playfully she glare at him to return with cute scrunch on his face. "Such a silly fox". A fox she is not afraid to love.
Day 10
"Cameron". Gently her (E/C) eyes finds his, "Don't. Not in the library". Stern her voice she push the needy boy to complete the assignment last minute before summiting.
"Cameron !" Yet here he goes again, dragging the wooden chair, screeching the legs of wood against the floor to hold her waist and pepper kisses over her neck to cheek.
Discomfort churn her stomach and fear threat to discover by someone she quickly scan for any yet finding none didn't melt the unwanted touches. "Cameron, please not outside. Not public". Like a exhausted parent she glare at him, their discussion of her not finding comfort in public touch has been talked however he seems to can't keep his hands.
"How can I control ?—" Before any sweet words win her.
"You can control. You just don't". Smiling she spare one look to soak in her work feeling his shoulder slump and in defeat to only lean on her body. The sight of golden bracelet remind her of his another gift today. Giggily telling her it suits her.
In silence she wrote the lines her mind commands listening to the seren breathing of her boyfriend beside. "Hey !" Her pen pause and she look to met Walliam, one of the familiar faces. "Dating in secrecy ?" Amused he let out, eyeing the pair.
She felt Cameron sitting straight, the humor dissolved into seriousness she couldn't fathom.
"Leave". One word and a mystic glint flash in William's eyes.
"Why ?" Challenged he raise his eyebrow and (Y/N) see the palpable tension she wanted to question suddenly because she notice too frequently how the cryptics words exchange in their talks confuse her and when she tries to join, she was quickly pushed aside with a brush. It pained her as a part of her wants to befriend or at least know them.
Another fact that didn't change ick her is she still felt like a outsider to the group and a loner. The laugh—
"Fine. Dude, keep your girl". Snicker he break the tight eye-contact to gaze upon her only to laugh, the laugh she was thinking. A laugh biting and mysterious. They always do whether she merely pass by them or few times wave her hand in courtesy. For odd reason it unnerved her because if bunch of people laugh at one with no known humor in context is strange.
They are strange. The image of their perfect friendship seems to distort a little and Cameron does not seem to tell her.
"Do you like them ?" He look at her sudden question, seeing him leave. "You do not look happy to face them anymore". Her eyes wasn't blind, she never saw him with humor when they face.
"I do like them. It just..." He tailed off, his eyes low and voice sounds distant. "—complicated". Wanting to ask more to bear even a slight of his burden on her shoulder as well. She part her lips.
"Your homework is completed right ?" He quickly smiled, lit up to kiss her swallowing her words inside and she let him dislike to ruin the happiness.
Despite being discomfort to kiss in public.
Day 11
"I know. I know we are only dating for few weeks now. Or more like days but—". Her words halted keeping her doubts at bay to talk straight. "—I am very close with my family. We always talk about crushes, love very freely. My parents even says that loving someone shouldn't feel wrong if both parties are adult and consenting so from very young age I always shares my crushes and few boyfriends to my family who met them to know if the boy is safe for me to date—". She look at those unreadable eyes. "—you know not dating me for bad intentions". He nod and she isn't sure from his blank expression what displeasing thoughts were running in his head. She bite her lips, perhaps pressuring him was a bad idea after all. His comfort comes first.
"I am sorry. You don't have to meet them if you don't want to". She added, sitting silently on his bed in his dorm room and look down almost regretting everything when heels of chair screech across the floor and her sight meet his legs and his hand wrap her wrist and pull her to his lap.
She yelped at the unexpected action, her toes curl a little. He grin. "You know you look like an scared rabbit ?" Cooing her, he lean to kiss the corner of lips, fluttering the butterflies in her stomach. His petal lips light kiss on her lips before turn her body a little to press her against his body.
Her breath hitched, her breast touch his chest and nervousness spread her. It is her another time such close range to a boy and the way his kisses tail on her jaw to her collarbone while those charcoal eyes directly gaze her awaken heat under her skin.
She grasp his sleeves and lean away a little. "Not here. I am not ready". Truthfully she says.
"Why ?" His brows furrow. "Do not worry I will meet your parents. Sooner or later". His smile lift the sensual air, sliding his hand on her back in smoothing manner. "It's alright. Nothing will happen". His hushed voice assure her. She rest her head on his shoulder. Little guilty for stopping him but she doesn't want to be rash for his need. They have rest of their lives to wait. Or at least that's what she thought.
"By the way, be ready. I am taking you to date". (Y/N) smiles, nodding letting his touch stay.
Day 12
"That date was magical". She thought walking to the gates of university when her eyes caught the sight of a small flower shop and his proposal with flowers flash across her mind. "Why not I give him a flower now ?" The idea opened the doors of his surprise expressions so immediately glancing at her phone for the time realizing she has no period pick her pace to the shop.
She choose the simplest. White roses represent pure love, hope and new beginning, the definition of their relationship. Isn't it ideal ? Sniffing the crisp and clean scent remind her of his musky and traditional ones. Closing her eyes in bliss she begin thinking the path to the business hallway to surprise him with flowers. Of course in secret not in front of all.
Holding the little bouquet of white roses she peek to the windows of classes finding him at none. Confusion sink a little.
"I miss my boyfriend". One of the passing girl thoughtlessly shared.
"Your boyfriend William ? Where is he ?" Her assumed friend asked.
"Of course with his friends at the esport facility". The girl replied, sounding upset yet (Y/N) ears perk at the mention of the familiar name and at the place they are at.
"Bunking class ?" She chuckle not knowing he is the type to. Walking fast she look around to find the facility she went only once or twice with her classmates by the teacher for sports practice.
"Where it is ?" Her teeth sink into her bottom lips, standing near a door and eyes searching for the room.
"Hey Cameron, what game are you playing huh ?" (Y/N) jolted slight at her boyfriend's name called from behind and she turn her head to stare at the door behind.
"What do you mean ?" His smooth, soft voice asked. Her heart skipped.
"Stop beating around the bush and say it what game are you playing with that girl ?" A unfamiliar male voice irritated asked and she tilts her head in confuse. What girl ? Which girl ?
"What girl ?" Cameron glare at his friend, Leo.
"That girl you are recently dating from art class". Her heart skipping more feeling intrude into their private conversation yet the desire to hear what he really thinks of her grip her in her roots.
"What about (Y/N) ?" An exhausted sigh echo the room.
"Hey ! Buddy, you know what we are talking about ! Stop playing dumb". The harsh, horse voice of Adrian add. "We told you the bet was to date that girl and kiss her within five days. So why are you still doing hovering over her ?" The air around her turn cold and her feet and hands felt frosty.
What ?
"Yes, Cameron, are you trying to fuck her too ? That's why you are following her like a shadow ?" William's deep voice joked. Laugh vibrate in his chest and maybe the laugh was contagious because all joined in save for Cameron and Leo.
"Stop it ! The bet was to merely date and kiss her not to make her fall in love ! It's not a laughing matter when someone's feeling is in hand". Leo sounded agitated only to fuel their laughter.
"Leo ! Stop sounding like a fucking saint when you were the one to give the bet". Adrian tsk in irony, looking away from the group to the door.
"I know and I regret it". He answered back, sparing a look to Cameron who's choosing silence the entire time.
"I wondered if she is virgin because why else Cameron wants her so bad ?" William smirk, glint mischievous at earning Cameron's glare while Adrian furrow, making out someone's figure outside of the door.
"What wanna—". Another friend's voice cut off.
"Who's there ?" Adrian's shout causing all to look at the door. "Hey ! You outside !" (Y/N) jumped in cold sweat hearing the footsteps closing to near and near and near yet her body isn't hers to listen anymore.
She watched the door wide open meeting many pairs of eyes however her found Cameron's wide ones. Fear and panic in those onyx ones she only saw bashfull and confidence. Was that also an act to make her fall ?
"(Y/N) ?" His utter break the silence and Leo mutter fuck under his breath. The others forming smile at the new entertainment about to begin.
"(Y/N)" The name roll from Cameron's voice suddenly sounded bitter, distant. Like she was a stranger to him and he was to her. She wonder how she even manage to stood not run away like in the movies she watch ?
"(Y/N)—".
"I know you are dating me for love right ?" Words she didn't ponder to say escape. The white roses in her hand bend a little by her force of fist but she didn't care. She looked straight in his eyes and waited to hear the answer she knew was truth.
He likes her.
She knows. She knows he likes her. The bet must be somesort of joke that turned truth later, she believes he won't betray her trust in that way. She knows she is being dating because she is liked, loved. No way the adoration, love, smiles, flowers were lies. An illusion. An decoration to the prey to sink his fangs.
He must like her right ?
"I am—". She breath in relieve and the boys scoff in disbelief. "—now". Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Why the word now feels foreign, unheard and confuse word. What does he mean by now ? He didn't soak sleeves to propose with flowers for love ? He didn't try to kiss her for love ? He didn't bring her to cafe for her peace of mind ? He didn't call out her name in front of others for love ?
What does that mean ? What they were then ? If not girlfriend and boyfriend ? If not in relationship ? Because the reality of her faith in him was shattered by the single word. Now.
"Do you love me ?" He flinch and she thought why unaware her voice sounded cold.
"Yes. I do now—".
"Did you loved me ?" He wince again and she is thinking why ? When she should be the one in pain.
"Did you loved me ?" The guilt in his eyes should have been the answer but she wanted to prove the illusion wrong that he did loved her.
"Did you loved me ?" She repeated, her voice stronger than better. Harsher than previous.
"No". The root of grip over her body collapse and the trust for him shatter.
"Did you approach me solely due to bet ?" She asked once more, little crack at the end.
"Yes". The honesty she always like stings like a snake bite, poisoning all the reality she believed, lived in only to be shattered and realize how big of a fool she was.
The men in the room laughed a little. That same biting laugh and she realize another thing. They all knew. Not only the men but the others too, all the students knew. She was from the beginning jester to their sick joke. An outsider to the group. When she thought all were laughing with her turns out they were laughing at her.
And the orchestra was done by the one and only person she trusted and come to love. Her beloved boyfriend Cameron. She should have known no mortals are allowed to look at the sun directly. It burns their eyes, flesh and left nothing but ashes of burnt. She should have been better.
She turn her heels and walk. Walk straight to her dorm. Feeling the blaze of sun rays. Today the sun was pretty warm.
She layed on the bed. Unmoved, untouched and unlive too. Staring at the ceiling with her dry eyes. She thought why tears weren't comforting her when her heart was squeezing her to not breath anymore.
Ding !
Ding !
Ding !
Ding !
Ding !
(Y/N) stood up, livelessly went near the phone when the little bouquet of love. The white roses fell to the ground silently. She watched them and in errie slow way she crounched down. The white wrapper around them fell apart, the bunch of roses draft from one another. Her fingers touch the green stem.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The delicate thorn of the stems nicked her finger accompany with the sting of pain and drops of ruby hue fell to the group. As silently as the flowers. Her head title, staring at the errie blood on her fingers, not a hiss left her lips. The pain was for a second, light yet.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Finally the tears in her eyes roll down her cheeks. Quiet salty tears swell up however sudden little whimper form in her lips turning to sounds of pain as she begin crying out loud. Louder and louder and louder the cry become.
"It hurts. It hurts". She whimper and for some reasons it was not the pain in her fingers and she hated to acknowledge the real pain. She wanted to believe in the illusion she thought was her reality.
"It's hurts. It really really hurts". She wail, fat tears one after another falling down and ears plumbing hard to not let her hear anything.
Why ? Why ? Why he played with her ? Why he do that ? She really, really loved him. His smile was sweet, his laugh was louder, the daisy was beautiful, his embrace was warm. He became her many things she liked.
Even if the days they bond was short, the feelings were deeper than the days. Why ? Why did he do all those ? Just for a bet ? If so why was he so honest there ? He could have lied and she like a fool in love believed him. She totally could have.
Wailling alone. In the cold room despite the sweeping of sun rays. She stare at the white roses. A represention of pure love, hope and beginning along sorrow and regret she forget.
Suddenly the door of the room bust open, she couldn't care. The pain was becoming unbearable by passing second when a strangled grasp left her lips upon the touch of a pair of hands around her frame.
The touch was too familiar it was nausea.
"I am sorry, I am sorry (Y/N) for doing that to you. I am sorry. I am really really sorry (Y/N). Believe me I am". Cameron hug her tighter and she cried harder.
"I am sorry. I love you. I do love you (Y/N)". The special words of love instead of touching her, fluttering her heart turn her stomach.
"I love you. Believe me. You must believe me". He let her go and cup her soaked face, staring into the pained (E/C) eyes. "I love you. Yes, I approach you with motive but believe me I fell for you in the process. Look if I didn't love you then I wouldn't brought you the flowers, get wet in rain, spend half of my time with you and bring you to the cafe". He in desperate voice told her.
"I love you. You are my first love (Y/N), my first and only one. You made me fall for you". (Y/N) sobbing look at the stranger in front and sniff.
"H-how can I believe you ?" Cameron froze. He stare at her, those teary ones, the reason of her pain.
And connect their forehead. "Think about it (Y/N), if I didn't love you so much would I still date you even after we kissed ? If I didn't love you would I have still dated you ? Think about it. If I didn't love you shouldn't I throw you away ? I loved you and took care of you. Always thought of you". (Y/N) sob halted and her numbed mind thought of the sense of his speech.
"If I didn't love you I wouldn't chase after you and hug you so dear to my arm ?" Now she couldn't stop thinking how good he treated and loved her. Yes, late but at least loved her right ? If their relationship wasn't a love story then what ? Of course it was love right.
She loved him a lot. And seeing him in his knee cradling her makes her forgive him, give him a second chance. "Will you be my girlfriend again ?" It was an unspoken break up.
"Yes". She didn't want to lose him so she said yes slipping the consequence of her mistake because even if he loved her, late. The pain and the scars were already dug too deep.
He hugged her tightly in happiness. She really didn't want to lose him but how could she differentiate the lies and truth drop from his lips when it was the same lips approach her with deceit.
Also if he loved her then why did he not notice the drops of blood yet ? Or he doesn't care enough to.
𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅
☾ ─────────
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Hii first of all i hope youre doing great! Make sure to drink water‼️
So i saw that your requests r open but idk if u can do matchups so feel free to ignore this if u dont
But if u do, i was wondering if u could do a jjba matchup from parts 2-7 (any gender idm)
Some info ab me:
Im agender but i use any pronouns, im aroace (! Aroace ppl can still feel romantic feelings js limited, just letting u know bc ppl get confused🥲!)
Id like the matchup to be romantic and some characters i wouldnt rlly like u to include r stroheim, kira, pucci and funny valentine
Okay lets get to the main stuff
My personality is pretty confusing even for me tbh
I can be very serious at times but i can also be very js energetic and yk goofy ig? My energy gets drained quickly after that tho so yeaah
I get told pretty frequently that im harsh but im just honest🤷♀️
I prefer saying whats objective and truthful rather than sugarcoating stuff
I can be very supportive tho dont tske this the wrong way
Im an ambivert and idk if yk mbti but since it might help im an Intj e3
Also im a night owl so yeah i love staying up and stargazing from my window💁🏻♀️
As for how i act in daily life well, i always try my best to get everything that im assigned done and most of the time i do. I strive for perfection and success in whatever i do and i am very ambitious🏃🏻
At times tho i feel like i need breaks so once in a while i like to just stop and relax, to do absolutely nothing
I like to read books every now and then but i dont have a good attention span and i zone out A LOOOTT
Not just while reading, if im doing anything at all ill just zone out eventually
I really enjoy being in my head with my own thoughts its like my safe space even if its not safe ykwim
Im just a very brain-ish person yk i like thinking i spend hours in my head its like my comfort place
I also like being productive it makes me feel alive
Like doing stuff
Im also a result/success oriented person so yeah
Also other than reading im also into make up and i like to listen to music if u consider that a hobby
I have a very mixed music taste but my friends say its good
I really like lana del rey and indie music but I also love rock and grunge like ac/dc, nirvana, pearl jam etc.
I also listen to stray kids sometimes their music is cool (kpop) but i also listen to j-pop and classical music (ascends me to heaven fr)
I also listen to 90s hiphop. Yeah.
Thats a lot of stuff I KNOW but i told u its a mix
As in fashion i dress either very y2k-ish or like my friends always tell me i look like those 2 girls from mean girls (my clothes)
I like to dress coquette-like though too!
Id also like to be a gothic lolita but i cant so thats sad
I also have brown hair and brown eyes and im average heigthed
My friends say i have the best style so yeah
I dont really have a type but i do have a preference for either people who are like me bcz yk they get me
But i also like funny people like very energetic funny people
We can be like sun moon dynamic idk😭
I like every love language ngl
I have a slight preference for gift giving though
I mean thats the one i use so
The fic is up to u idm what it is
Tysm for ur time, ik that was a lot, feel free to ignore if u dont feel like it have a nice day/night <3
notes: omg hi!! I am finally doing your matchup <3 I feel like it has been in here forever omg. but i am so glad im getting to it today!! i literally have the PERFECT character for you tee hee so let's jump in <3
the character I chose for you is...
GYRO ZEPELLI!!!
you and him have a very similar personality. you can both have a serious front, but goof off with each other, which is the most fun
it makes you a super successful couple too because you both know when it's joking time or not
though you will find him making stupid jokes more often than not
he likes that your harsh/honest
it just really shows that you know who you are and you cant take certain stuff
it just means your strong-willed and that's what he loves about you
there is nothing wrong with being harsh and he tells you that all the time
you and him are very supportive to each other and it really helps the relationship grow
i feel like gyro is honestly a morning person, so you wont find him staying up with you late that often
so while he sleeps next to you pet his hair
but he will 100% stargaze with you while you talk about life and cuddle
you get shit done and that's what he loves about you
and when you two are together, you're literally unstoppable tbh
as ambitious as this man is, he is also lazy, so he will ask you to just sit and cuddle him so you can take a break
and who are you to deny gyro??? i would cuddle in those arms any day
doing absolutely nothing sounds amazing to him, so please stay wrapped in his arms
just know he will fall asleep
since you love reading, but zone out a bit, this man will read to you
he loves to read to you
even if you zone out, he will catch you up
he overall just enjoys reading out loud a lot, so you're going to hear a lot of it
while you're just thinking, he'll be right beside you
you are your own comfort space, but you begin to feel that he is becoming your new one
he is also a mixed music dude, so yall listen to whatever
HE LOVES THE WAY YOU DRESS OMG
literally force him to dress up to and you will be walking ICONS
do his makeup
LITERALLY
he loves when you make him all pretty
he'll braid you hair if you braid his
he is super energetic and funny, so you have the literal perfect man for you
and he will provide every love language, just expect a lot of words of affirmation from him and way too many cuddles
and if you give him gifts, he gets all flustered and blushy
and then he'll get you gifts too :)
and now for your fic :)
You stayed up on the edge of your shared bed with Gyro and watched the stars from your window. You lived in a nice enough area to see all the stars and you were very thankful for that. You couldn't go to sleep, so you decided to open the window and get a breath of fresh air along with your view. Your boyfriend slept quietly next to you, his arms hugged around his own lanky body. You watched his breaths for a moment. In. Out. In. Out. You smiled and ran your fingers through his long sandy blonde hair before looking right back to the window. "Darlin?" You heard from Gyro, making you jump. "What's up?" You asked, seeing his long arms stretch in front of him as he sat up. "Can't sleep?" He asked, avoiding your question. "No, not really. Just wanted to do some stargazing." "Come here," he said, patting his chest. You gladly laid your head on your chest, having an even better view of the stars as he petted the top of your head until he fell back asleep.
~~~~~
matchup rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda
#i hope you like it :)#i love this cowboy omfg#jjba#writing#fanfic#my writing#fanfiction#<3#asks#jojos bizarre adventure#matchups#matchup#jjba x reader#jojos bizarre adventure x reader#gyro#gyro zeppeli#gyro x reader#gyro zeppeli x reader#sbr#sbr x reader#steel ball run#steel ball run x reader#jjba part 7
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tagged by the adorable @destiniesfic 🌹 thank you love!
How many works do you have on AO3?
ten (not counting deleted ones)
What’s your total AO3 word count?
29,376 total words
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
can’t count across my lifetime (lets not touch my old quizilla history) but currently there are three
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
get me to the altar - 960
maybe this is danger and he just don’t know - 629
open for me - 395
the way you see it fall apart - 326
just your neck, and my beloved - 290
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
if there’s something i looooove it’s receiving comments! more than kudos tbh. and yes, sometimes i do respond to them. however, i selfishly try not to respond to any that don’t merit a response because i feel like it only ups my comments number for no reason. also, some are complimentary rather than inquisitive so i don’t know what to say other than “thank you”. i do read every single one and appreciate it though!
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
obviously this bad boy almost gone (in these little moments get your cards out)
Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
neeeever hehe
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not that i recall thankfully
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
... my account is almost exclusively smut. if i were to write something in depth or emotional i wouldn’t want to waste it on fanfiction. rather i’d save that for manuscripts of original stories. so my account is one small little bubble of pwp!
my specialties range from emotional catharsis to bondage to dom/sub and dirty talk with slapping and surprisingly enough, it’s come to my attention that several of my fics have slight voyeurism? which?? 👀
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
nope! i did notice, however, that after posting get me to the altar some new fics sprung up with throne sex 😶 do with that info what you will
Have you ever had a fic translated?
that has never come to mind, actually. despite being bilingual myself that’s EMBARRASSING
What���s your all time favorite ship?
give me a J! give me a U! give me a DE! give me a catboy! what’s that spell? the ship with the most daddy issues! that’s right - JUDECARDAN!
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
funny enough i have a finished wip! it’s heavily doused in religious themes though and i doubt it would be well received by the internet so i kept it in a secret google doc and sent it only to select friends. because who would want to see judecardan roleplay as jesus and judas, right? anywho, other than that, i started an au where jude wasn’t abducted by madoc but rather found by ahem other people. it spanned into this long umbrella academy-style storyline that i doubt i can see through.
What are your writing strengths?
uhhh this is difficult for me to say considering i’m self-aware but i can’t really see my own writing from an objective point of view. therefore i invited a guest!
zara “that bitch” sanktaleksander comments: i enjoy your characterization and dialogue because it feels very real
What are your writing weaknesses?
as my bestie zara says, verbatim: Over fucking description bro I’ll kill u for that
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i love it. i try to do so as often as i can, including my judecardan’s babies mini-fic! it’s glaringly obvious that i love a character when i make them multilingual
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
gosh who even remembers. probably some dumb 14-year-old take on ghostgirl or avatar the last airbender
What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
get me to the altar was the first smut fic in which i “put myself out there”. it was so well received i wrote the rest! it will always have a special place for me. second to that is probably right at the borderline is where i’m gonna wait
a dozen thanks for the ask! 🕊️
tagging: @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @moononastring @jurdanhell @wanderingpages @anonniemousefics
#about nicky#the fact that i had to use a calculator for a tumblr post... criminal#i didnt realize i had that many kudos on my writing i wont even lie. thanks everyone!#to me im more fulfilled by hearing from people and thats why comments is what i like the most#the surefire way to my heart!#nicky writes
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Hands to Myself (L.DH)
Pairing: Lee Donghyuck x Female Reader
highschool au
Description: You swore to yourself that you will stay devoted to the one and only Mark Lee, or not?
words ➙ 7k
genre ➙ romance, angst
warnings➙ profanities, fist fight, scenes of making-out, mark is a red flag
A/N ➙ for hyuck’s bday. I dedicate these to @jaextapose, this is the hyuck fic I promised you. @imoonstarstuff i hope you will love this! I apologize for some grammatical errors. Happy Reading!
Can't keep my hands to myself. No matter how hard I'm trying to.
Who is your crush? Mark Lee. Who do you love? Mark Lee. Who’s the one your heart is yearning for? Mark Lee. Who is your baby? Mark Lee. Whose name are you shouting in the corridors? Mark Lee. The reason why you’ve got detention, because you choose to watch him practice rather than attend your Biology Class? Mark Lee. Does he know you? Of course. Does he like you? Uhm, no. Does he love you? Now that is offensive, Fuck no.
Mark Lee knows about you, but for him, you were just a childhood friend and neighbor. But you were more than determined to snatch his neck and heart.
Tottering inside your room, you mumbled, “Ah!” you flicked a finger and your friend rolled her eyes, “Operation 101, steal Mark’s attention!” you said in a matter of a fact. You stood there, chin up high in confidence.
Krystal frowned, “Bitch, how? Mark is busy and doesn’t even spare everyone a glance, let alone you!” Krystal pressed. You acted as if you didn’t hear her reality slapping rants. In fact, you don’t give a shit. You just stared at your phone’s wallpaper dreamily, a satisfied sigh leaving your luscious lips, a live photo of Mark. To you, he wasn’t just Mark Lee, more like an angel who has a questionable love for watermelons. You reminded yourself to stop by the grocery and to give him a watermelon, as a bait for the incoming prom.
You gave her a grin, all your teeth showing, “If he rejects me, then I will pursue him,” you paused and plopped down your bed, Krystal following your figure.
“Again.”
Krystal shook her head in disbelief.
Legends say, If your crush doesn’t like you, then consider forcing them to like you back. And you strongly believe in Newton’s third law of motion, For every action, there is an equal reaction. A watermelon for Mark’s attention.
You transferred schools because of your father’s profession, one which included moving from one state to another. You were outgoing, so socializing in a new and unknown environment was easy for you. In a span of a short time, you’d quickly adapt to your surroundings. But as soon as your father would announce, you’ll be moving places, again, you’d have no choice but to start the socializing pace again. And you were never tired of doing it repeatedly. As you proclaim, you were a social butterfly.
But all your talkativeness crumpled and disappeared when your new neighbors was invited for dinner. The Lee’s entered your house, they were so kind and calm. Your family got along with the Lee’s in an instant. They had two sons, of which, one you love and one you hate. Across from your seat you saw him, Mark Lee. And there, from that moment, your tongue got tied, your parents even thought, you were sick. Because (Y/N) never shuts up and would find every opportunity to talk. But Mark Lee made you. It was a glamorous moment that you were gaping at Mark that night, but one would always spoil the moment, calling you out.
“You have drool over your table napkin.” You snapped out of your strance and glared at the boy beside Mark. Lee Donghyuck. He was a year younger than his older brother—he had a golden tone, his moles remind you of your favorite constellations, his lips are plump unlike Mark’s, and even though you hated to admit, he is handsome, very handsome.
You snapped, “Excuse me, I don’t drool.”
Donghyuck shrugged at you, “I certainly saw it with my two eyes.”
You settled down your fork, the utensil clinking down onto the mahogany table. You raised your voice, “I don’t.”
“Liars go to hell.”
“I--” You were stunned, your wide eyes staring back at his mischievous ones. He was smirking, and you really want to wipe off his face.
Hyuck shrugged, “See?”
You huffed. And were about to open your mouth to retort back, but your parents shushed you. The adults were amused to see the mini cat-fight between you and Donghyuck.
You mother mused, “Sweetie, that’s enough. You wouldn’t know, you and Donghyuck might be together in the future.” She gave you a grin while you fake-gagged.
You protested, “That’s impossible. Mom!”
They only laughed at your protests. They resumed eating and talked about business matters and other things. That night was memorable for you. You’d finally met your prince-charming and you were stealing glances at his way, but he was too engrossed that time, with the food in front of him. He had a laid back personality. You knew a little of Mark that night, as far as you could recall, the way his eyes sparkled at the sight of the watermelon. Your attention was just focused on Mark. But little did you know, Lee Donghyuck had his eyes set upon you, before you could even land your eyes on Mark.
I want you all to myself.
“Do you know where Mark is?”
You faced Jeno. You spent a whole hour searching for him, but Mark is just skilled at hide and seek. It is really tiring to search for his whereabouts. And the fact, you had to carry a watermelon with you? Tiring it is.
“Yeah. We had a dance practice, but he went out. Why are you searching for him, (Y/N)?” The tall boy inquired. His sharp eyes scrutinizing the watermelon in your arms. You blinked and bit down a grin. He knew about that grin of yours, and it shouts Mark Lee. He was about to open his mouth to speak again, but a sudden arrival stopped him from doing so.
You turned your body to meet him, “Hi (Y/N) baby, is that watermelon for me?” He blinked fast, staring at you while his lips plastered a charming smile. His tone is so sweet, but it never fazes you, “How sweet of you, let me carry that for you.” He tried to snatch the watermelon from you, but you swatted his hand. He gave you a toothy grin. You took a while to observe him—he grew a lot taller, towering over you. Handsome as always—but he never gives you those butterflies. Donghyuck was wearing a black shirt and grey sweatpants, giving justice to his long legs. His hair is dyed purple and it seriously complimented his good looks. You mentally slapped yourself, You came here for Mark, right?
“Keep dreaming, Donghyuck.” You rolled your eyes at him. And he dramatically clutched his chest, making a sad face. Jeno was controlling his laughter, he shook his head.
“I think Mark is outside, go on and check” Jeno gave you his signature eye smile. You beamed at him and rolled your eyes immediately as soon as you settled your eyes on Donghyuck. He only smirked, and you hated how his smirk gives you that questionable effect.
“I will be right back,” You paused. You unleash your confidence from the depths of your system. You raised your chin, you squealed excitingly, “And when I return, I will be having a prom date.” And you strolled away.
Jeno hissed under his breath, “Right, the prom is near,” He trailed then looked at the purple-haired boy beside him, “You got a date already?”
Before Hyuck could even answer, Jeno spoke again, Hyuck closed his mouth. “You have a large fanbase, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard for you to ask for a prom date,”
Donghyuck opened his mouth to speak, but Jeno continued on, “They will be volunteering before you could even ask.”
Donghyuck licked his lips, while glaring at Jeno, “Can I speak?”
Jeno held his nape, grinning at the boy. “Go on.”
“Are you sure? I’m sure you have other things to say. I’m all ears, no interruption.” He said with all sarcasm, giving emphasis to the word ‘interruption’ and rolled his eyes. The other boy laughed at his sassiness. Jeno made a gesture, zippering his lips, and looked at Donghyuck expectantly.
“I already have a prom date.”
Jeno’s eyes widened, his lips forming an ‘o’, “Really? Who?”
Donghyuck chuckled, “The girl who carried a whole ass watermelon around the university.”
You're metaphorical gin and juice. So come on, give me a taste.
“Hi Mark--”
You were stunned when you saw Mark at the hallway. You immediately hid behind the tall lockers. His back is facing you. He had his right hand over his nape and in front of him was a girl— a higher year than you and no doubt, is gorgeous. You sealed your mouth shut, and waited behind the lockers. You hated to pry into other people’s businesses but this was something you couldn’t afford to ignore. It was Mark, for heaven’s sake, and you knew, curiosity would kill you if you choose to leave.
Mark stuttered, “I haven’t prepared a promposal or something,” He let out a breathy laugh. You started to get jealous of the girl he is talking to; Mark never laughed in front of you, let alone to talk to you for a long period of time. The one time he stayed long to talk to you was when he asked you of his parent’s whereabouts. “Do you wanna go to prom with me?”
You peeked. And you wished you hadn't. The girl smiled up at him, and nodded. Mark let out a contented sigh. He leaned in, and planted a loving kiss. You counted, five, ten and lost count. You stood there, aggravated. Being single since birth was hard, and now, you just have witnessed your first love make out with someone who is not you, in a vacant hallway. This is certainly the first time you’ve felt pain—heartbroken. You wanted to break free and scream at yourself for being so pitiful, crushing and gushing over a guy who obviously doesn’t like you.
Your subconscious is taking over you, there are red flags, yet you still insisted. Mark was a red flag, yet you still chose to dive in. Your vision blurred; tears were attempting to well out like waterfalls. You gulped, your chest tightening. You took a sharp intake of breath and let it out slowly, not making any noise. Your heart is beating rapidly. You tried to divert your attention away; looking at the poorly decorated bulletin board, the announcement posters, Donghyuck’s face that is staring back at you, anything but the two people savouring each other. You were about to return back to the gym when your sneakers squeak when you tried to pivot back. Your sketchers are not giving you a damn break. The two broke their kiss and looked at your frozen figure by the door.
Mark called out. “(Y/N)?”
Oh shit. You furiously wiped your face and patted your cheeks using your right hand. Patting left and right. You hissed when you felt the cold sensation from your fingers. Mark approached your figure, “How long have you been here?”
You faced him. And he blinked in surprise—your face was slightly flushed, your eyes are red; obviously from tears. “Oh, I just got here.” Lies, big girl full of lies.
Mark observed you. You were avoiding his gaze, a thing that you never did when you are in front of him, you were fidgeting, and it is something unfamiliar to him—he knew you were confident and doesn’t get fazed a lot even if you are in front of him (he certainly knows you have a thing for him), and you seemed like you were out of words; desperate even to find the right things to say, he knew you were talkative and take initiative like always. The (Y/N) facing him was a complete opposite of the girl he is used to seeing. He asked you cautiously, “What’s up?”
Your mind went haywire. If this was a regular day, no heartbreaks, not seeing Mark in the hallways kissing a girl that he really likes, not hearing him ask somebody to be his prom date—you would have died on the spot. Since this was a first; Mark took initiative to talk to you. You lied again, words stumbling out of your lips carelessly, “Oh, my mom bought plenty of watermelons and she asked me to give one to you so it wouldn’t go to waste.” You shoved him the watermelon. You never initiated eye contact, because you knew, if you would, you would break down in an instant. Mark’s eyes were so beautiful, mesmerizing even, you would even kill to look at those eyes, to drown into them, to dive into them because his eyes are similar to a book—it is mysterious yet captivating. But in that moment, all you wanted to do was to get the hell out of that hallway and to never look at those tantalizing eyes.
“I gotta go. Bye.” Your tone was cold. It was never the usual; full of enthusiasm and color. You were surprised at your behavior but this was your coping mechanism. Mark was about to say something but you pivoted away from your spot. You pulled the gym’s door, went inside and closed it. The door banging in front of Mark. The door rattling behind you. You snatched the attention of the boys inside the gym, including Donghyuck’s. He stared at you. You forced a smile and waved towards the members of the basketball team. They were oblivious but Donghyuck isn’t. You bit down your lip and walked fast to reach the other end of the gym. At this moment, you wanted to get out of the places Mark could be at. Donghyuck threw his towel towards Renjun and chased after your figure.
Of what it's like to be next to you
“Shorty.” Donghyuck called after you.
“Fuck off.” You spatted bitterly and ignored him once again. You walked past the students in the corridor, you wanted to go home and not to deal with the devil. Heartbreaks are better mended at home, specifically at your room eating sweet and salty foods simultaneously and watching horror movies. Several female students are gushing at the sight of Hyuck— his face, his flushed, sharp jawline, moles that are alive like constellations at night, the body-fitting attire he wore, disheveled violet locks. You made a quick turn, the exit door is already in sight. But Donghyuck had other plans and decided to jeopardize your attempt of sashaying away from school. He yanked your backpack causing you to miss a step and stumble. You were about to yell at him, but his chest crashed in front of you, making you knock out of air. He led you into the janitor’s closet. You took a sharp intake of breath, his scent overflowing your senses. It was a mixture of fresh cinnamon and Calvin Klein. It wasn’t a bad combination; it was rather addicting.
“If you are here to bully me Donghyuck, piss off. I’m not in the fucking mood.”
You squinted in the dark. The janitor’s closet is small. You could even feel Donghyuck’s breathing—it smelled of mint. You tried to focus but Donghyuck’s presence is clouding your system like a resident virus. He leaned in, and you panicked, internally. You didn’t know what to do, or what should you do—your lack of experience with boys are now taking a toll. First, ignoring a red flagged boy named, Mark Lee. Second, dealing with his brother, that you hated so much, he barely even let you breathe. Like the moment you were in.
“You owe me three.”
You furrowed your brows, “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Four.”
“What the fuck?”
“Five.”
“You’re seriously a headache Donghyuck. Let me breathe”
“If you say so.”
You were about to leave the crampy closet but Donghyuck’s arm encircled around your waist, securing it to place. He settled his hips so you couldn’t escape easily. He leaned down, once again. Your eyes bulged out, you felt feverish; your cheeks hot, and your pounding heart. You felt a tingling sensation in your stomach—butterflies. You couldn’t think straight. You felt a chilling sensation on your lips. It was soft, plump—and there you realized, Donghyuck leaned in for a kiss. You stayed there, frozen. He pressed his lips further, then breathed onto your lips. It lasted for seconds, it was five. Lee Donghyuck claimed your lips like it was his, for five seconds. Then, he broke the kiss. It was like an enchanting spell, it made you frozen, even dumb.
You acted first without thinking and smacked his chest as hard as you could. Tears coming out of your eyes, biting off your lips, you could even taste a tinge of your own blood.
You croaked out, “I hate you Lee Donghyuck! I told you to let me breathe,” Tears pooled out of your eyes, falling continuously over your cheeks, “Not to fucking steal my first kiss. It is reserved for Mark, you stupid!”
Mark Lee, again.
He shrugged, “You asked me to let you breathe, I did.”
You groaned. “Kissing doesn’t go that way!”
Donghyuck eyed you. And even in the poorly-lit closet, you knew he was giving you his signature, stinky look, as if you said the dumbest thing. “I am your first kiss, and stop acting like you know how these things work.”
“Why did you do that?”
“You cussed at me five times, and you deserve a punishment for that.”
You made a face, “You are so childish, Lee Donghyuck!”
“So are you.”
You huffed. Being frank, you are sure Donghyuck wouldn’t be letting you go, at this moment, especially when he saw you, on the edge of tears and breakdown.
“Tell me what happened.”
Lying to him is an inconvenience. You hated Donghyuck, but you needed someone to talk to, someone to lean on—and this wasn’t the time to be picky.
You tried to control your tears, “I decided to ask Mark to be my date. And It didn’t go well.”
“He rejected you?”
“No, he asked someone.” Tears fell down your cheeks.
“And?”
“I saw him making out in the hallway,” You choked back, “It hurts.”
He shook his head in disappointment, “You are making yourself a clown, (Y/N). You shouldn’t be initiating the first move, you idiot.” You cupped your cheeks, wiping away your tears.
You tried to defend yourself but Donghyuck cuts you off midway, “Shut up or I will kiss you.”
You sealed your mouth shut.
“Women should be treated like the way queens are treated. With respect, love, genuineness,” he tucked in a piece of hair behind your ear, “And you are a princess, you should be and deserve to be treated as one. You should never settle for less.”
You remained silent. Donghyuck continued.
“Just because you are head over heels to Mark means you should chase his wagging tail and do the things you shouldn’t be doing in the first place. Mark is my brother but he is a jerk,” he exhaled, “Do you know what could be the aftermath of your actions?”
You shook your head, no.
“Mark knew you like him. That’s a giveaway. You are doing things for him because you like him, don’t you? But it won’t apply like Newton’s law of motion, that with every action you do comes with an equal reaction in which you expect him to appreciate all the things you do for him and in return he will give you a chance? It doesn’t work that way, (Y/N). What would happen is, he would just make use of your vulnerability and use it for his own good, for his own benefit,” he paused, “He knew you would do everything for him without protest, and I won’t allow that. Never settle for less, (Y/N). There are other people out there that would love you for who the hell you are. People that would love you, for being, just you” And that is me. Donghyuck wanted to shout those statements in front of you. For you to snap out of your imagination. But he couldn’t do it because he knows, deep down, your heart is still yearning for Mark.
“Why are you saying all of these Donghyuck?”
“You deserved to be treated better, (Y/N). I am saying this for you to wake up. For you to know that you are being treated like shit and you should be aware of it. Being blind to love could be deadly.” And with that, he let go of your waist. He opened the closet and stepped out. You had a clear look of his face—it was unreadable. He offered his hand and you accepted it.
“I’m walking you to your next class.”
“I can walk, Donghyuck.”
“You don’t even know how to reciprocate kisses. I don’t trust you.”
“I hate you!”
You did a lot of firsts with Donghyuck. To be kissed, be shoved in a confined space, to be slapped out of your imagination. That was your first time being with Lee Donghyuck. And as much you hated to admit— you felt surreal.
Won't let one drop go to waste. You're metaphorical gin and juice
“Hyuck, we’ve been searching for you everywhere. Where have you been?”
Donghyuck marched over the gym. His eyes were glinting. His mind is not working properly—but he knew what to do; to kick Mark’s ass. He approached his brother and blew out a strike, right at his jaw.
“What the hell?”
For Donghyuck, when it comes to you, there's no honour, no code. All that matters to him is to punch every single jerk that took you for granted, even if it is his own brother. There was stillness on both sides. The other boys stood there, stunned. If hatred was visible in the air, the gymnasium would have been colored scarlet. Then, Donghyuck took another sudden movement. He attacked Mark with so much force in every punch. Each was powerful with hate and frustration. Donghyuck thought, what the hell did you see in his brother, for you to risk everything, including your dignity? Donghyuck rained blows onto Mark’s face as if he meant to smash him into the very earth for being such a jackass. Mark tackled the younger’s shirt and he took his momentum to blow a straight blow towards his gut. Frustration eating up the older boy’s system. Each didn't just want the other dead, they just wanted to smash, obliterate each other.
There was blood lingering on Donghyuck’s knuckles and a bruise on his right cheek. Mark’s was way worse. Donghyuck pays revenge like hell, and that is what Mark received. The boys tackled the brothers away from each other. Shouts resonated in the air.
Donghyuck hissed, “You son of a bitch!”
Blood pooled in Mark’s mouth. Donghyuck stumbled backward for a brief second to catch his breath before diving into Mark, his eyes narrowed in determination.
Jeno bellowed, “Donghyuck, enough!”
Mark’s mahogany brown eyes widened. He managed to slip out of Renjun’s grasp and slammed into Donghyuck’s. Stars burst Donghyuck’s vision but he shook it off, blinding, he threw a sloppy kick.
“Mark! Stop! Coach will seriously kick our asses!”
Mark stepped back, easily evading Donghyuck’s kick. "Is it one of your red days, huh?" He crowed, smirking infuriatingly towards his younger brother. Donghyuck growled and attempted to throw himself at his brother, but Jeno had a strong grip on his torso.
Blood hummed in Donghyuck’s veins as determination and anger took over.
“Did you know how heavy that watermelon is?”
Mark made a confused face, “What are you talking about?”
Donghyuck snickered, “Of course, you don’t care. Mind you, Mark,” He spatted his brother’s name with such contempt, “(Y/N) searched for you around the school to fucking find you, and she was even carrying a heavy watermelon for you, you inconsiderate little jerk! She has a scoliosis for fucking sake, and what did you do? Reject her?”
Mark was stunned. “She never mentioned anything to me nor asked me something.”
Donghyuck let out an exasperated laugh, “She was about to ask you for prom. Even got you a gift, your favorite watermelon. But what did you do?” He paused and glared at his brother.
“It was her fault for raising her hopes high.”
Donghyuck furrowed his brows. His brother is indeed a jerk.
“That doesn't give you the right to tear her apart, asshole!”
Mark protested, “What is done, is done already. Quit crying.”
“You inconsiderate cunt! Remember when you were passed out drunk and you had a paper due the next day? Yea, (Y/N) did your paper and saved your dumb ass. At least you could be kind and extend your gratitude towards her and not to dick out.”
Donghyuck marched out. Shoving out of Jeno’s grip.
He paused at the door, taking a glance behind his shoulders, “You’re seriously letting go of a gem, Mark. All of her efforts are going down to waste because you are a jackass.”
All of the downs and the uppers. Keep making love to each other.
“Where have you been, (Y/N)?”
You stared at the stressed-faced Krystal.
“Just there”
“Stop lying.”
You told her everything, starting from your failed attempt of asking out Mark for prom, the janitor’s closet with Donghyuck and what he said but you spared the kiss— that thing shouldn’t be disclosed.
“What Donghyuck said is what I have been telling you repeatedly, and this is the sign that you should just stop. This is all useless, look at you!” Her nostrils flared up, “Don’t settle for guys that screams bag news!”
“He’s not all that bad, Kystal!”
“Stop defending him (Y/N)! Wake up! He is not the guy for you.”
You challenged her, “Who’s the guy for me then?”
“Lee Donghyuck.”
You protested, “What? No!”
Krystal groaned, “Stop being so blind (Y/N). Hyuck has his thing for you and you were just so blind, you keep on ignoring the things he’s been doing for you.”
You furrowed your brows, “All he did was to bully me. He hates me the way I hate him. Period.”
“You’re unbelievable. He would literally go to school early just to escort you to your homeroom. Carry your bag because he is concerned for your back. Waits for you every class just so he knows where the hell you will go. Gives you origami roses. Tell me, is that what you are telling me? Hate? I don’t think so. He doesn’t hate you, (Y/N), there are other guys out there that would die to get your attention.”
“Krystal in the months I have spent here, no one dared to ask me out. Stop exaggerating things. And all Donghyuck does is to bully me, I don’t see the concern there.”
Krystal muttered under her breath. Donghyuck bullies you so you could give him your attention.
A knock interrupted the class. All your classmates scrambled and went back to their perspective places. But no professor entered the room. The president opened the door to see who was the visitor, and she looked at you, a playful smile plastering her lips.
Krystal grinned, “That’s Donghyuck.”
“(Y/N)?”
“Yes?”
“Mark is looking for you.”
And I'm trying, trying, I'm trying, trying
You blinked at the boy before you. He had cuts and bruises all over his face, his lips are busted, but he is still handsome. You tried to control yourself. He had made out with someone a while ago, and you saw it, clearly, with your two eyes. You hated him, don’t you?
You greeted awkwardly, “Hey Mark, what brought you here?”
“I just wanted to thank you for the watermelon.”
“Oh it’s nothing.”
“No, you had a back problem and I felt bad you had to go through searching for me all over the place.”
You fiddled with your school skirt, “It’s okay Mark. It’s nothing, and besides I have done things that are way out of my league. The watermelon was a piece of cake.” You really did things for Mark. Cheering for him every school game, despite the protests of Krystal that over-cheering could be bad for your throat, yet you still did. Stayed up late to create letters for him, all with exceeding characters and bullshits. Bought him a t-shirt from his favorite brand. Did his homework. Had detention for skipping out classes just to see him perform at the acoustic sessions club. He never recognized your efforts. He would, if he was forced or teased by his friends. And, you were still setting your hopes up.
“Did you come to ask me out for prom?”
You gulped hard. A blush crept to your cheeks. You avoided his eyes and nodded.
He spoke again, “I have already asked Natalie. But I can dance with you, is that okay?”
You tried to control the twitch of your lips. “Is it okay for you?”
Mark shrugged, “A dance won’t bite,” He gave you a smile, “Just wait for me on the dance floor by ten, and I will meet you there.”
You beamed at him. Your subconscious is yelling at you. You were heartbroken and hated Mark a while ago, but here you are, knees wobbling, falling for him, again. “Thank you Mark.”
Mark just raised his brows at you and left shortly.
You are trying to remove Mark out of your life when you saw him ask out someone. But, he had his spell casted upon you, and with a flicker of his fingers. Mark got you crushing on him again.
Can't keep my hands to myself
After a week, then it was prom. You couldn’t find Donghyuck’s trace— as his existence was wiped out with a flicker. You and Mark started to chat, and got you squealing every beep of your phone.
4:00 p.m | Mark Lee: what’s up?
4:01 p.m | (Y/N) (L/N): preparing for prom ^^ how about you? :D
4:20 p.m | Mark Lee: preparing too.
4:21 p.m | (Y/N) (L/N): Do you believe in love at first sight, Mark? <3333
4:26 p.m | Mark Lee: Yea.
4:27 p.m | (Y/N) (L/N): Should I walk by in front of you again? lololol xD <3
4:40 p.m | Seen by Mark Lee
You closed the app and re-opened then again. But Mark has left you on read. It’s always like this; he would talk to you and honestly, you experienced back pain from carrying the conversation. No pun intended. He talks so dry and takes a while to reply back. Sometimes, never replying at all.
You mumbled. “I mean he might be busy? Yes, that could be it.”
That was your mantra every time. You told Krystal about it over the phone and she was so mad, you could hear her yelling from the other line.
Krystal voiced out. “Those are red flags, who the hell would reply minutes late?”
“I mean, he could be doing something.”
“If a guy is interested in you, he won’t let you wait. Even abandon what the hell he would is doing. This is just showing that he isn’t interested at all!”
You pouted, “Stop being so mean.”
“He is not interested in chatting with you because he is talking to his girl, stop dreaming.”
You applied your gloss. “At least he talked to me. I’m happy though.”
Krystal rolled her eyes, “He is doing the bare minimum. Other guys could do better. Honestly, what is with you and your unexplainable attraction towards trashy guys a.k.a Mark Lee?”
You inhaled, “Stop being so harsh.”
“I’m telling the truth. And I am placing my bets, he won’t dance with you.”
You are accustomed to your best friend’s nagging. But couldn’t she just shut up and just support you with all you want to do?
You interjected. Hostility on your tone. “I’m tired of hearing you nag at me Krystal. Could you just let me be? Christ.”
Krystal clicked her tongue, “I warned you (Y/N). Don’t come up to me crying, because I never failed on reminding you that Mark Lee is trash.” And she dropped her phone.
You heaved a sigh. It seems like you will be attending prom alone, without a date, without your best friend.
I want it all, no, nothing else
The moment you entered the gymnasium. It was perfect. The interior, the design, everything was immaculate. You approached the assigned table and saw Krystal in her cerulean dress; it was made of tulle and lace, embroidery of blue flowers plastered the overall body of her gown and it had a sweetheart neckline, exposing her milky shoulders. You attempted to apologize at her, but she was giving you the cold shoulder.
“I am letting you do whatever you want, (Y/N). Go on, chase after Mark.”
“Look, I’m really sorry Krystal.” She didn’t answered you, instead she played games on her phone. Completely ignoring your existence. You frowned as you clutched your rose corsage. It was useless wearing the flower bracelet, this is much better to wear with a partner. IFourth year is coming to an end; and you really wished this could wrap up nicely as you wished. You looked around the dim gym looking for Mark, but he isn’t at sight. You opened the messenger app, clicking on Mark’s chat head, yet he was online three hours ago. You sighed again. You sat there in your prom dress, waiting for the clock to strike ten. The dance was important for you, it was your dream after all. And you were excited to spend your first dance with Mark.
Time is flowing slowly. The principal extended her gratitude towards the student government for being successful with the prom, speeches of the faculty in their matching gowns and suits, the president of the student body organization awarded the winners; prom king and queen, best dressed, darling and dutch of the night. Out of all the awards, you managed to snatch nothing. Donghyuck was awarded the prom king. He stood there like a prince. Wearing a slim fitted suit; maroon; with a patch of gold flowers adorning the sleeves. A red rose corsage sat on the suit pockets. He wore a black oxford shirt underneath; the first three buttons were unbuttoned giving a glimpse of his sun-kissed chest. A gold chain settled adorning his neck, tracing downward his chest. His violet looks were tamed, his hair was parted in the middle. He was given a sash, and he stood there, as if the awarding ceremony was so boring. He scrutinized the crowd, looking for a familiar figure. The reason why he attended prom, is he wanted to make sure you experience it the way you wanted it. Even if he isn’t included. Seeing you smile, is enough for him. He found your eyes, staring back at him. To Lee Donghyuck, you were so stunning, to him you were his prom queen.
I want it all, no, nothing else
The principal announced.
“This is the last dance. So grab your partner in the middle. No canoodling, I’m watching you.”
Ten o’ clock. Yet, you couldn’t still find Mark. You stood up from your seat, neglecting the sparkling drink served to you a while ago. Krystal’s eyes followed your figure. You stood in the middle of the dance floor. The lights were so dim; adding a cool and romantic ambiance. They played slow and sensual love songs. You stood there dumbfounded, couples are dancing; bodies close, lips connecting. You gulped hard, and continued to search for Mark’s figure. A tap from the shoulder caught your attention. You turned your body so fast, so missed a step, your stiletto clicking across the marbled tiled. Luckily, the person caught your body fast. You stared up, it was the prom king, standing tall, and overall glorious.
You forced a smile, “Prom King.”
“What are you doing here alone? You look like a joke.”
“I know.”
Donghyuck’s lips pressed into a thin line, “Mark?”
He knew by that solemn look on your eyes. He didn’t waited for your response, instead he pulled you away from the dance floor, and led you towards the corridor. At this moment, you lost hope. It was already ten thirty; and you spent thirty minutes standing and looking for Mark’s whereabouts. You are now giving up, your hopes that Mark would reciprocate your feelings is now disappearing. You wanted to cry; for liking a jerk, for acting like a fool, and spending your efforts to the wrong person. Krystal was right, you were just blind and deaf to understand.
Donghyuck held you by the shoulders. He leaned in to catch your eyes. “Do you really want to see Mark?” You nodded slowly.
He opened the room. It was classroom 402. There wasn’t anything fancy in the room. But you certainly saw Mark with Natalie, passionately kissing.
You tried to remain composed. You left the room and stood in the hallway. It felt as if heaven played games on you. You’d had enough. You nibbled on your lips, controlling the big waves of sadness from pouring. Donghyuck cupped your cheeks. And you couldn’t hold in anymore, you broke down, cried in your prom dress, soaking Donghyuck’s oxford shirt. He hugged your trembling figure, whispering, “Let it all out, baby.”
Donghyuck planted a kiss on the top of your head. Then, escorted you out of the hallway. He used to love the corridors, but he might as well hate going to it now. He saw the love of his life, cry in the place he used to love.
Oh, I, I want it all
By the time you and Donghyuck returned to the gym, the dance was over. Closing remarks were delivered and the prom is now going to an end. You hadn’t got to dance nor enjoyed the whole event. This will be your memorable prom; being stood up by Mark. Krystal approached your figure and glared immediately at Donghyuck. She hugged you.
“What is it this time Lee Donghyuck?”
“Woah, chill girly.”
“I swear, I will shave your head!”
You shushed her, “He did nothing wrong. Mark stood me up and I wouldn’t know if he didn’t show me.”
“Oh god. (Y/N), you don't deserve this.”
Donghyuck held you by the hips. And faced your best friend, “I’m escorting her home. She needs to rest.”
Krystal’s demeanor changed, hostility to calmness. She looked at you worriedly, “Rest, okay? Phone me whenever. I will listen.” You gave her a weak smile.
Your prom dress swayed behind as you took each careful stride. Your stilettos click after each step, and your feet are aching. The rose corsage is about to fall, but you couldn’t care more. Donghyuck escorted you to his Volvo P1800. It was a blaring red, vintage, sports car.
“I never allowed people to ride my baby.”
“Oh. I will start walking then, thanks for the escort.”
“Oh god.”
He yanked your arms and settled you to the passenger seat. He muttered under his breath, “You were lucky, I love you, otherwise I would be kicking you out.”
You gave him a tired glance. “You were saying something Hyuck?”
He settled his arms on the roof of his car and leaned in. You reclined on your seat and held your breath, his face is just centimeters away from you, “I am just muttering how stunning you are,” he trailed and looked at your figure, “in that sparkling dress of yours.”
He offered his hands and you looked at him puzzled. “You’re asking for something?”
He rolled his eyes, “Just give me your damn hand, (Y/N), why are you such a slow poke?”
You protested, “I haven’t been in this situation either! I don’t know what to do!” You gave him your hand and you were surprised that he planted a lingering kiss on your knuckles. His breath fanning your cold skin. You gulped hard. Butterflies crowding your stomach and a blush crept on your cheeks. Lee Donghyuck and his charms.
“God, you’re so beautiful.”
He stood up quickly and went for the driver’s seat. He started the engine and it roared to life, the radio hums quietly in the background, and the a/c of the car is set onto the lowest setting. His car zoomed along the familiar neighborhood. The night sky is as alive; the stars twinkling brightly at night, the moon is up there, bright and gorgeous. It was a calming ride, but Donghyuck made a quick turn. The road he is taking is now unfamiliar to you.
“Where are you taking me? Don’t do anything stupid Lee Donghyuck.”
“Trust me.”
It didn't take you both long. He parked his car. He turned on the headlights to the highest setting and twisted the radio to its loudest. Lany’s ILYSB played loudly on his stereos. He jumped out of his car and jogged to your side, opening the door. He knelt suddenly. “What are you doing?”
He leaned in. His lips grazing your ears. “Does your feet hurt?”
You raised your tone. “Kinda. Why?”
He flailed his right hand. “Raise your foot.”
“What for?”
“Stop protesting (Y/N). Is that hard to do? Or do I have to kiss you to shut up?”
“All right, chill.” You raised your right foot. And he removed the straps of your stiletto, one after another. You are now barefooted.
“What is this Donghyuck?”
Without your heels, Donghyuck is a foot taller than you. He grabbed your hands and pulled you towards the middle. His headlight shining towards both of you. It was blinding but all you could see was Donghyuck's grinning face. He pulled both of your arms and settled it over his shoulders. He started to sway according to the beat. He settled his hands on your hips. You followed his movement.
“I’ve been waiting for this to happen. To finally have you alone. To dance with you. To look at your pretty face without being scolded out for zoning out too much.”
“You don’t have to do this Donghyuck.”
“Forget about Mark. I beg you (Y/N).”
You breathed, “I will.”
“I will prove to you that I am worthy, (Y/N). Give me a chance.”
That caught you off guard, you almost missed a step. But Donghyuck led you to the right step. “I don’t want people to say that I am using you as a rebound.”
“You don’t have to care about what other people will say. We will take it slow. I will teach you to love yourself first, before you love other people. That’s important.”
Donghyuck danced with you for a good minute. And you were happy that you get to experience dancing with someone, even if it isn’t on the school’s dance floor. You applied lip gloss on your dried lips. Donghyuck watched you intently, eyeing the gloss and your lips.
“Can I have some?” You looked at him. You nodded and offered him your balm. He looked at you, bewildered, then let out a laugh. He held his face, hiding in his grin, “What did I do to deserve someone like you?”
“Huh?”
“I wasn’t asking for your balm. But alright.” Then he leaned in to capture your lips. Stealing your second kiss and having to taste your lip balm. It tasted like strawberries.
Please like and reblog. Thank you lovelies and take care! <3
#cznnet#lee donghyuck#haechan#nct 127#nct haechan#nct fanfiction#nct fluff#nct angst#nct smut#nct 127 fanfic#nct dream#nct dream fanfic
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Night Changes (Kuroo Tetsurou)
- night changes masterlist
"You know," you smiled at him playfully "I can tie my own skates." Your boyfriend chuckled, lifting his gaze to you for a moment before going back to the task at hand.
"Oh, I know that," Kuroo said, smug. "I also know that you like being pampered once in a while, especially by your handsome, perfect boyfriend."
"I wonder where he is, though." You pretended to think, putting a finger to your chin. "All I have here is you." Kuroo put a hand on his chest with a look of mock hurt on his face.
"You wound me, Y/N." You just giggled and stuck your tongue out at him. He tugged on the ribbon of your laces tightly, earning a light smack from you. He just shrugged and pursed his lips.
"Aww, don't be so butthurt about it. You know I wuv you." You cupped his face in your gloved hands, squishing his cheeks together. You leaned over and gave him a big kiss on his puckered lips. Kuroo visibly blushed but still kept the smug smile on his face.
“Hmmm. I love you too.” Standing up, he offered you his hand. “C’mon. The ice is waiting!”
—
This had become a tradition between you and Kuroo. During the winter season, you’d spend at least two weekends of the month just to ice skate. On some days, he’d call out his volleyball team to play tag on the ice or even some hockey.
You were the one who had taught him to ice skate. The memory of Kuroo’s tall, lean figure gliding and then immediately crashing down on the ice always made you laugh. You can also recall how tight he gripped your hand but your figure could only anchor so much of his weight, often times you’d go crashing down with him.
But now, after years, he has become a natural. You could now skate side by side without a worry of anyone falling.
“There are more people than usual, don’t you think?” Kuroo asked, fixing the scarf around your neck making sure you were warm. You hummed in response. Tugging on the sleeve of his coat, you peck his cheek in gratitude for the small gesture. Kuroo always looked after you. Small gestures, such as fixing your scarf and tying your shoelaces, were his way of showing his love.
He held your hand delicately, pulling you along with him as he started to skate around the rink. It only took a minute before you fell in sync with his pace.
—
“You are so dead, Tetsu!”
“‘Gotta catch me first, babe.” He blew a kiss your zooming away. You did your best to catch up to him, avoiding bumping and crashing into the other skaters.
A group of kids were huddled in front of Kuroo making him halt to a stop. Seizing the opportunity, you sped up. With Kuroo distracted, you bumped into his back and clung to him like a koala. He held tightly onto the railings to balance the both of you.
“You’re it, Tetsu.” You teased, sticking your tongue out at him. He held you to his side and kissed the top of your head.
“Yeah, yeah. You got me.” He slid his hand down your arm and held your hand tightly. “Let’s just stroll for a bit. I just wanna marvel in your presence.
“Don’t say those things, Tetsu.” You say, covering your flushed face.
“What? It’s true?” he kissed the back of your hand. He playfully spun you around. “I’m so lucky to have you, y’know.”
“You’ve been quite the charmer this whole evening, babe.” You giggled then smiled. “I’m lucky to have you too, Tetsu.” Kuroo leaned down and kissed you tenderly on the lips. The contact warmed you up in an instant.
A silence passed, the both of you just enjoying each other’s company. You were going around in circles when you noticed a pair of skaters spinning together in the middle of the rink. There were caution cones circled around them which only indicated that they were professionals.
You stopped skating and pulled on Kuroo’s hand. You pointed to the couple just as the woman jumped and performed a triple axle. Your boyfriend whistled in amusement. The next stunt they did was something you only saw in movies.
The woman had her back to the man’s chest as they skated figure eights. When they finally had momentum, the man wrapped his arms under the woman’s and lifted her up. The woman momentarily stretched her legs in a split, in midair, then folded them backwards to wrap around the man’s waist.
When they had achieved that position, the man span in tight circles again and again and again until they were just a blur. Your mouth hung open, astonished.
After more furious spinning, they eventually slowed down. The woman landed back on the ice gracefully. A few of your fellow skaters, including yourself, clapped at their short performance.
"What if we did that?"
You snapped your attention to your boyfriend beside you, raising an eyebrow.
"Are you serious? You asked. He looked at you with one of his mischievous smirks. You shook your head. "No, Tetsu. They're freaking professionals! I can't even do a single axle, let alone a triple."
"But you have me. We can do it together!" He suggested. You scoffed loudly, skating a little bit ahead of him.
"You're even worst at skating than me." You turned to him when you were a few feet apart. "Besides it's dangerous."
"Playing ice tag is dangerous." Kuroo crossed his arms on his chest. "C'mon it'll be fine. My strong muscles," he flexed his biceps, "Will never let you fall."
You rolled your eyes at him. "Whatever, Tetsu. It's too dangerous, and I'm not gonna risk it."
"Y/N, please?"
"No."
"Please, baby?"
"Tetsu, no."
"I'm gonna just run up to you and lift you in the air."
"Tets—what?!" You shouted towards your boyfriend, who backed up a bit. He stuck his tongue out in full concentration. A beat had passed before he was speeding towards you. You did your best to back away, but with Kuroo'slong strides, he was in front of you in an instant.
With the adrenaline from his short sprint, he had stretched out his arms towards you. Just as he neared you, bent his knees and put all his energy into his arms. He did his best to lift you up.
The moment lasted only for half a second before everything turned into a total disaster.
Just as your feet left the ice, Kuroo underestimated balancing you on ice skates. His arms trembled a bit before he felt himself slipping, with you just above him. You tried your best to anchor the both of you when you felt him faltering but this only leads you to landing on your ankle badly, going down with Kuroo.
He did his best to cushion your fall resulting to him hitting his elbow. Both of you landed in a loud and hard thud on the ice. Those nearby stopped and checked if both of you were okay. A small crowd had formed around you both, as your crash sounded bad.
Kuroo had sat up, hissing in pain as he used his right arm to right himself. He cradled it against his chest. He looked at you still sprawled on the ice.
"Y/N?? Are you okay?? Did you hit your head?" He helped you sit up. When you were upright, a sharp pain shot up from your leg. You leaned forward and felt that your ankle was slightly swollen. You gave Tetsu a pained look to which he returned with a guilty one.
"I'm sorry!"
—
You and Kuroo were being escorted home on the back of a paramedic ambulance. They offered you both a ride since you couldn't walk and Kuroo couldn't carry you properly.
"Your mom is gonna kill me."
"Hmm." You hummed in agreement. "Not if I kill you first."
Kuroo chuckled humorlessly, pulling up your intertwined hands to his lips.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I just wanted to do amazing couple-y things with you." He gulped. "And I wanted to impress you."
You flicked him hard against his forehead.
"For a nerd, you sure are dumb when it comes to romance."
"Hey!"
"Just being yourself is enough to impress me y'know." You brushed some of his hair away, looking into his eyes. "Hell, your love for Chemistry is what impresses me most, to be honest." You gave him a soft smile. "You don't have to try too hard, Tetsu. I love you just the way you are."
Kuroo hid behind your joined hands. You could see the tips of his ears flush pink.
"Don't say those words, chibi-chan. I'm the one who’s supposed to say that!" You giggled at his reaction, leaning over to peck his cheek.
"You're still not off the hook though. You're now my personal slave until I get better."
"Aaah." He kissed the top of your head. "Best job ever."
—
thanks for reading this short series! if you have time, please give a little love to my Atsumu fic. it’d mean a lot.
#b writes#night changes#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagine#kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo imagine#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo tetsurou x reader#kuroo tetsurou imagine#tetsurou kuroo#tetsurou kuroo imagine#tetsurou kuroo x reader#nekoma#nekoma imagine#nekoma x reader
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gallick’s blog writing rules
Hey guys, gallick here! As I expand my writing parameters, I thought it would be good to make a rules post. I ask that you please read this prior to requesting, because it has my preferences, request status, and content info included.
Please be aware: I reserve the right to delete any and ALL requests/asks that do not conform to my rules.
My inbox is always open for thirsting [defined below], questions, conversation, venting, and advice. See the remaining rules below the cut ―
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
【CONTENT INDEX】
what is a... ✰ 『thirst』this is usually when you send in your thoughts on a certain character in a certain situation. My responses can be anything from a jumbled up paragraph to a full on thirst drabble (~250-500 words), depending on whether I’m on mobile vs. desktop, as well as if I jive with your thirst. That being said, don’t ever feel ashamed of the thirst that you want to send in! Even if it’s not my thing, as long as it’s not on my no-no list [see below], I’ll at least post it with some sort of response! See examples of thirst «here», «here», «here», and «here». Thirst can sometimes turn into full on fics depending on how I feel about it!
✰ 『drabble』this is a “fic” that is generally more in depth than a thirst, but not as plot-driven as a full on one shot or fic. I usually keep drabbles between 500-2,000 words. They are normally given their own post instead of replying to the ask itself, but I will respond to the ask with a link to the drabble once I’ve posted it.
✰ 『fic』this is usually a one-shot piece, which means it is a stand-alone fanfiction work. These are at least 2,000 words in length, and I do not put a limit on them as I have no self-control and will write huge fics with no regard to my personal sanity. These will always be posted as their own text post, and will more than likely be {sporadically} uploaded to my ao3 account as well. If the fic is inspired by an ask, I will answer the ask with a link to the fic once I’ve posted it.
✰ 『multi-chap fic』this is usually a piece that spans at minimum two parts, connected via the plotline that runs consistently through them both. As of now, I do not have any multi-chapter works, but I do have a couple planned for the future! These will always be posted as their own text post, with links to the prior part as well as the future part, once it has been posted.
【WRITING RULES】
✰ All characters are aged up to at least 20 years of age no matter whether the situation is sfw or nsfw. The only times I will write “high school” types of works will be in flashbacks, not full length fics. I always try to explicitly state within the work that they are of age - whether that’s referring to them a Pro Heroes (BNHA), Pro Athletes (Haikyuu!!), etc. If I ever discuss “dorms”, I am always talking about college dorms/apartments.
✰ This is my blog, and therefore I get to choose what I do and do not want to write. I apologize if that means I have glossed over your request, but I cannot force myself into writing something I do not feel like I can do, because then it’s not genuine and even though it gets the content out, it’s not content I’d be proud of.
✰ I do NOT close my requests. I feel like it’s pointless, given a lot of people don’t pay attention to the open/closed titles anyway. With this being said, I do receive a lot of requests. If you feel that yours has gotten buried, eaten by the tumblr ask monster, or ignored, please feel free to send it in again. Also keep in mind that I might have deleted or ignored your ask in favor of another that sparked more inspiration. That doesn’t mean I won’t come back to yours later. Be patient with me!
✰ Please be kind. I don’t ask that you fawn over me when you send in a request, but be courteous when you send me an ask. If you just send me a blunt ask, I might not understand what you’re really asking for, or what you actually want, which can stunt the creative process and possibly end up with me deleting your ask. I understand that not everyone speaks English well, so I try to be patient with the more forward requests. Just be aware that I am not a writing machine here for your pleasure. This is a hobby, a fun way of escapism for you and me both. The moment it feels like a job, I will stop.
【DO’S AND DON’T’S】
『 My writing is usually male character x female reader, unless specified otherwise. I do accept female character requests, though. As I do try to keep my appearances of reader relatively neutral, I know that is not always the case. I am constantly trying to learn and evolve my writing, but reader content can be difficult to nail down with all the scenarios that I’m writing or requested to write, given that they are very specific in nature. Please be kind and constructive if you choose to criticize, but criticism is always welcome. 』
『 I always put warnings in my tags above the fic post, so please read the warnings prior to diving into a piece. As stated below, sometimes I will use kinks or tropes or categories/genres that make people uncomfortable or triggered, and I want you to keep yourself safe rather than reading my writing just because it’s mine. I use warnings, tags, and a read more on my posts - if you choose to read the post anyway, then that is your own responsibility and I will not respond to any asks shaming me for what I have written, or blaming me for you being triggered. Please let me know if I have not correctly tagged or warned a post and I will make corrections as soon as possible. 』
― The CHARACTERS I prefer, and who will get priority over others are... My Hero Academia ✰ Bakugou Katsuki ✰ Kirishima Eijirou ✰ Tamaki Amajiki ✰ Todoroki Shouto Haikyuu!! ✰ Sugawara Koushi ✰ Bokuto Koutaro ✰ Kuroo Tetsurou ✰ Oikawa Tooru ✰ Sawamura Daichi ✰ Kageyama Tobio Dragon Ball ✰ Vegeta ✰ Piccolo ✰ Gohan ✰ Trunks
― The GENRES I will write... ✰ Angst (mostly happy endings bc I’m a sap) ✰ Fluff ✰ Smut ✰ Alternate Universe ✰ Hurt/Comfort - this can include things such as anxiety, depression, etc. but will always end with the comfort in mind. ✰ Alpha, Beta, Omega dynamics (bare with me, I’m learning)
― The CONTENT I will NOT write... ✘ Suicide (reader or character) ✘ Minor x Adult ✘ Vore, Gore, Intense Violence ✘ Piss or Shit Kinks ✘ Incest, Pseudo Incest, anything relatively familial in nature. ✘ Ass Play (in detail - i.e. pegging, fingering, etc.) ✘ Cheating ✘ Crack Fics (i.e. overly humorous or satirical content) ✘ Character x Character - this is a loose rule, but currently I don’t have any CxC ships that I am writing for, or feel the need to write for. ✘ Poly relationships - this is another loose rule, but I am not overly well-versed with polyamorous relationships, so they can be difficult for me to nail down. If I feel inspired, or if I open poly requests, I will let you guys know.
【TAGS】
『If there is any type of content you do not want to read, I ask that you please blacklist it. I will do my best to tag all asks/posts accordingly, but I am only human and might miss one here and there. Feel free to send me a quick message letting me know that I have missed something, but please be kind.』
『I believe it is your responsibility to monitor and improve your online experience. If you don’t like Bakugou, please blacklist my Bakugou tag(s). If you are a minor, and do not wish to interact with my nsfw content, please blacklist my smut tag. I will not be tagging things directly as “nsfw”, because this can get you taken out of the tags entirely, and I do also write sfw pieces in addition to my nsfw pieces.』
『I do NOT tag generic posts unless they are triggering. This includes all reblogs - graphics, fics, etc.』
『Here is how to blacklist tags on desktop and mobile.』
『I always use three versions of the “character” tag(s), with their surname only as well as their given name, and then their full name. I.e. bakugou x reader, katsuki x reader, bakugou katsuki x reader.』
― Writing Tags ✰ #character x reader ✰ #character smut ✰ #character thirst ✰ #OC: Belle Marie Sinclair - (Bakugou OC) ✰ #OC: Lilith - (Kirishima OC) ― Trigger Warning Tags ✰ #tw: dubcon ✰ #tw: noncon ✰ #tw: suicide ✰ #tw: self harm ✰ #tw: degredation ― Personal Tags ✰ #morgan.txt - my original text posts ✰ #morgan-gets-mail - answered asks ✰ #morgan-has-friends - mutuals interactions ✰ #morgan-does-commissions - commission-related posts ✰ #morgan-has-a-patreon - Patreon-related posts ✰ #morgan-says-read-it - Fic recs ✰ #morgan-says-look-at-it - Art recs ✰ #morgan-says-listen - Audio recs
【FINAL THOUGHTS】
I reserve the right to delete any of the asks sent into my inbox. This includes... ✘ Hateful Asks ✘ Baiting/Leading Asks ✘ URL referencing Asks (i.e. “I heard gallickingun did....”) ✘ Rule Non-Conforming Asks
【LINKS】
✰ desktop masterlist «here» ✰ mobile masterlist «here» ✰ general writing tag «here» ✰ archiveofourown «here» ✰ wattpad «here» ✰ commissions interest form «here» ✰ ko-fi «here» ✰ patreon (coming soon!) «here» ✰ bnha bookclub (discord server + fic archive) «here»
This is all subject to change, hence the read more.
© all content belongs to gallickingun 2020. do not modify or repost.
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
#gallickingun#bnha x reader#haikyuu x reader#dragon ball x reader#my hero academia x reader#blog rules#mod post
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Planetary Magick: 1
(Twisted Wonderland x Earthling! Witch! Reader)
This is crossposted on my ao3 and quotev. I have a chapter on some general information you should know about this fic before going into it, so please go and look at it first. I’ll have it linked in the masterlist. There is some essential information there, so I’ll also have a shortened version of the general information linked in the masterlist.
I haven’t quite decided all the love interests yet, so please comment who you want to be included. But don’t comment until after you’ve read the essential information post. I’ll know if you haven’t when you comment. I started this fic with my two favorite boys in mind, so they’ll probably end up getting more attention at the beginning.
Without further ado, here we gooooooooooo
_____________________________________________
“Alrighty, here we go,” you mumbled to yourself as you got yourself settled and comfortable, then set a twenty-minute timer on your phone for your meditation session.
You breathed in deeply for four counts, held your breath for four more counts, then exhaled for four counts, closing your eyes during the exhale. You scanned your body, seeing how every part of you felt and releasing any tension you discovered. You focused on your breath and how it moves the body, allowing you to clear your mind. Any wandering thoughts that passed through your head you let go, like seeing a leaf floating down a river: you notice it, then let it go.
Inhale. Hold. Exhale.
Inhale…hold…exhale…
In…hale…out…
. . .
You let out a low, gravelly hum as you began to awake, blinking. Or you think you’re blinking, at least. It was the same level of dark when your eyes were open as when they were closed.
‘When did it get so dark? Last I remember, it was mid-afternoon… What was I doing again?’ You hummed again, but in a way that you didn’t use your vocal cords. It was more of a throaty exhale. ‘Oh, that’s right! I was medita…ting…fuck, I fell asleep while meditating, didn’t I? That’s one of the big thing’s you’re not supposed to do, (y/n).’
Seeing as you probably wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep now, you went to sit up from your laying position, just to hit your forehead against solid wood.
“Ah fuck,” you quietly exclaimed in both surprise and mild pain.
You raised your arms to figure out what you hit your head against, but they also hit wood. Starting to panic a bit, you rapidly felt out the area all around you: it’s all wood. You were in a box. You desperately tried pushing on all of the sides, one at a time, hoping that you weren’t sealed inside. Nothing budged. Your breaths began to speed up, becoming shallower.
‘Why am I in a box? How did I get here? Oh fuck, have I been kidnapped?! Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ Various expletives cycled their way through your thoughts as a result of the panic.
You yelped when the box suddenly began to tilt forward, causing your body to slide down the box that you now realized was quite a bit longer than you were tall. Your feet stopped your sliding when they hit the new bottom of the box, letting you stand upright. You didn’t know what this meant. Why would someone stand your box up? What was happening? You heard a voice speaking from outside the box, but your panic prevented you from processing their words.
You quickly shifted your priorities when the box started to heat up like a wooden oven, beginning to fill up with smoke. You didn’t have time to scream. You had to get out of there. With renewed vigor, you rammed your shoulder into the wooden panel in front of you. You felt it budge! It didn’t open, but it budged. You didn’t wait to ram your shoulder into it again. This time, the wood gave in to your force easily, popping off of the box and onto the floor. Maybe it gave way a bit too easily, as your momentum sent you careening to the hard floor, your shoulder taking the brunt of the impact. You heard a loud scream that you knew wasn’t yours, you simply didn’t have the breath to scream, as your momentum didn’t stop, making you somersault multiple times towards the center of the room. Well, somersaulting is a bit of a generous term; it was really more of a chaotic rolling, limbs flailing about as the world blurred between right-side-up and upside-down.
Something you always suspected, but now knew for sure, was that unexpected somersaults are very painful on the neck, not to mention your head that slammed into the hard floor each roll. You didn’t know where the cracks you heard came from, but you doubt it could be anything but your body. You just hope those sounds were the good kind, like the cracking-your-knuckles cracks and not the snapping-your-bones-in-twain cracks.
When you finally rolled to a stop, you laid limply on your side, unmoving. You painfully gaped for breath, trying to fill your lungs with the sweet oxygen you were barred from when rolling. Your vision blurred and swam; unable to make out anything or focus on anything except colors, you closed your eyes from the sight lest you get a headache.
Still disoriented and generally out-of-sorts after you caught your breath, you struggled to roll onto your knees, resting your forehead on the cool floor in hopes to ease the overwhelming dizziness that you could practically feel in every bone of your body.
“Why are you up?!” You heard strange voice yell out, coming from where your wooden prison sat.
You turn your head ever so slightly so you could semi-face where the voice came from. You squinted, trying to focus your gaze, but everything remained blurry. You could see bright cerulean flames dancing around what you think was your box, presumably the same flames that smoked you out. And by the floor was an animated gray blob, slowly growing larger. Or was it just getting closer? You couldn’t tell, your attention snapping back to your throbbing head as your vision span once more.
You groaned as you closed your eyes and turned your head back to where it was, the cold, probably stone, floor felt nice. It helped soothe your steadily worsening headache a bit, but any relief was better than none. You weren’t in a rush to move from your spot, and since the floor was stone, you wouldn’t have to worry about the fire spreading.
“If you’re just gonna sit around, then hurry and gimme those clothes!” That strange voice that reminded you of Team Rocket’s Meowth yelled again, though this time is was much closer. “Otherwise—”
You cut them off with a louder groan than before and held up an index finger in their direction to both shush them and to say, ‘give me a minute.’ “Please, just, give me a sec. I’m dizzy and might have a concussion—no, probably have a concussion. So please, don’t shout.”
“Hah? Why should I care about what some dumb human has to say? Now gimme those clothes unless you want me to roast ya!”
You grunt as you force yourself to stand, the dizziness mostly subsiding. You looked over to see if you could make out the Meowth-sounding figure now, but to no avail; your vision was still blurry and refused to focus. All you could see was that gray blob, but now you could make out a patch of white and two patches of that same cerulean blue on the figure.
“I’m sorry, the fuck did you just say? You want me to give you my clothes? Fat chance, ya little pervert.”
They made a disgruntled sound and yelled again, which did not help your headache at all, “I’m not a pervert, stupid human! Just shut up and hand over that uniform!”
“I’ll pass,” you quickly glanced around the room, looking for an exit. There was a large area of dark brown embedded in the wall to your right, no doubt being a set of double doors; you now had your escape route. You hope you were staring into the eyes of that bleary gray figure. “…yeet.” And you bolted towards the doors.
“Wha—hey! Get back here stupid human!” You heard them shout after you.
Running felt stranger than normal, like there was more drag, like you were dragging something with your arms. You looked down and finally paid mind to your clothes: they were definitely not yours. You were wearing something like a coat—or a cloak? —with heavy bell-sleeves, the source of the extra weight. You now also noticed that there was a hood pulled over your head as well. It was a miracle it stayed on after your rough tumble.
‘Yeah nope, fuck that. I’m not ready to be sacrificed by some fancy cloak cult,’ with that thought fueling your determination, you stayed true to your ‘yeet’ and rammed your other shoulder into one of the doors, not wanting to waste time on opening it like a civilized person. Besides, that would probably be quite difficult as it was still hard to see, and your hand-eye coordination was probably going to be shit because of your probable concussion.
Luckily, the doors were unlocked, the one you charged at bursting open upon impact with little resistance. You didn’t dare slow down, sprinting down the outdoor hallway the doors led to. And as you noticed a group of people approaching, you couldn’t slow down. You danced through the gaps between them, the sudden twisting bringing back the dizziness. Your poor coordination made sure that you bumped into a few elbows on your way through, adding a couple more bruises to the list. You didn’t bother to spare them a glance or even acknowledge them. Your body was screaming at you to stop, your frantic running only serving to further agitate your too-fresh wounds, sending streaks of stinging pain through your body.
It was no use though. Fatigue finally won you over, and you practically collapsed onto the floor of what was a library of sorts. Or maybe an archive? Even if you couldn’t make out any individual books, you could easily tell that the walls were lined with filled bookshelves. You panted heavily as you laid on your back, too exhausted to care about lying on the floor. Your peace could only last for so long, though.
“Did you really think you’d get away from my nose? Dumb human!”
You grumble in fatigue-induced anger, using a chair to help stand yourself back up. You’ve had enough of this pervert’s shit. You’re hurt and scared and tired and confused, and all you want to do right now is sleep. You quickly hoist up the chair, resting the side of the chair’s back on your shoulder, brandishing the chair as a weapon as your hands grasped the seat. You were just about ready to use the chair as a battering ram on this rat of unusual size.
“If you don’t wanna get roasted, better hand over—Buwah!?” Out of no where a whip stuck the strange creature, staying wrapped around it. “Ow! What’s with this cord?”
“This is no mere cord. It is a lash of love!” Their masculine voice sounded strange, as if they were forced to talk around a physical lump stuck in their throat.
Their voice was rounded, but in an odder way than usual. It was as if each word was its own separate circle: only one circle per word with the circles never quite connecting. It was as if they composed their sentences like a piece of music but added a breath mark between each and every note. You didn’t know how else to describe it. His words were round but ended strong and abruptly, as opposed to the gentle waves and curves you’d expect from a rounded voice.
You didn’t notice him until he stepped closer. His ensemble of clothes was mostly black, and the colors that weren’t black were at least dark. More than half of his face appeared to be covered with a black mask, so could you really blame yourself for not being able to make him out in this dark library?
You slowly lowered the chair back to ground as you tried to process that he called it a ‘lash of love.’
“Ah, found you at last. Are you one of the new students?”
“Uh, I’m sorry—”
“Yes, you should be! You shouldn’t do things like leaving the Gate on your own!” He cut you off and kept talking, not giving you a chance to speak, let alone defend yourself because you didn’t know what the fuck was going on. “Not only that, you have yet to tame your familiar, which has broken a number of school rules.
“Let me go! I’m not their freakin’ familiar!” The creature took the words right out of your mouth while squirming in the man’s grasp.
“Sure, sure. The rebellious ones always say things like that,” he immediately dismissed the thing’s outburst. “Just quiet down for a moment.” You couldn’t quite see what he did, but the gray beast could only make muffled noises. You think the thing was gagged, but you don’t know by what. “My goodness,” he directed his attention to you again. “It’s unprecedented for a new student to leave the Gate on their own. Ugh… How impatient can you be?” He sounded very offended by your actions, still not giving you the chance to explain that you were busy trying not to die. “The entrance ceremony is already well under way. Come along now. Let’s head to the Hall of Mirrors,” he turned on his heel, quickly walking away.
You had three options: 1) Follow him to whatever the Hall of Mirrors was. Maybe it’s like a hall full of those body-warping mirrors they have at carnivals? 2)Stay behind and wait for something else to come try to kill you. 3) Run away and hope you don’t run into something that wants to kill you.
You quickly jogged to catch up to him. “I—uh, where are we going?”
“As I said, the Hall of Mirrors. It’s the room you woke up in with all of the doors.”
‘Doors? Is he talking about the sealed box I was in?’
“All students who wish to attend this academy must pass through one of those doors to arrive here. Normally, students wake up only after the door is opened with a special key, but…” he glanced over to you, silently expecting an answer.
You pointed at the Meowth-voiced creature. “He kinda smoked me out.”
“So, in the end, the culprit appears to be this familiar. If you’re going to bring it with you, you have to take responsibility and properly take care of it.”
“Um, sir? That’s not—”
“Oh my!” He cut you off once more. “Now isn’t the time to be long winded. The entrance ceremony will soon come to a close. Let’s get a move on.”
“Sir, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what’s going on,” it came out form your mouth quietly, barely above a whisper.
“What’s this? Are you still dazed? It appears the teleportation magic has left you disoriented…”
‘…teleportation…magic? Was I—Was I kidnapped by a wizard LARP group?’
“Well, it is fine. It happens often enough. I shall give you an explanation as we make our way there. For I am gracious.”
‘Gracious my ass; your favorite thing is to assume things about me, and you know what they say about assume: it makes an ass out of u and me.’
He cleared his throat as we stepped into the courtyard I had previously ran past. “This is ‘Night Raven College.’ Those magicians blessed with a unique aptitude for magic gather from all over the world, here at the most prestigious magical academy in Twisted Wonderland.”
‘Oh shit, they’re a Harry Potter LARP group. I don’t think Harry would condone kidnapping someone though…’
“And I’m the principal, appointed to take care of this academy by the board chairman, Dire Crowley.”
‘Crowley like the demon from Good Omens? Or like that guy who wrote a book on demons? Or maybe that one guy from Yu-Gi-Oh…’
“…” You patiently waited for him to say, “You’re a wizard, Harry,” but he never did. ‘I can’t believe I have to deliver this line without the lead up. “A what?”
He ignored you to continue with his ‘gracious’ monologue, “Only those magicians seen as worthy by the Dark Mirror can attend this school. Chosen ones use the Gate and are summoned here from around the world. An Ebony Carriage carrying a Gate should have gone to meet you as well.”
“A carriage? You mean one with a horse?”
He gasped, offended, for some reason, “Of course it was drawn by a horse! Our school would never be so uncouth as to have it drawn by anything else!”
“Well, I would have remembered if there was a horse. Horses are the embodiment of equal opportunity fear*. You don’t forget running into a creature like that.” You shivered at the thought of the horse-like fae you’ve heard about in legends. Like the one that can apparently kill gods.
“It seems you are more dazed than I first thought. Well, no matter! I shall continue with my explanation, for I truly am so gracious. The Ebony Carriage goes to welcome new students chosen by the Dark Mirror. They are special carriages that carry the doors to the academy. The market decided long ago that carriages are used to welcome people on special days.”
“The market? Are you telling me stocks have something to do with this?” You had to actively try not to say ‘stonks’ instead of ‘stocks.’
He ignored you again, instead speeding up his walking as the gray creature started squirming and making muffled sounds again. “Come. Let’s go to the entrance ceremony.”
With the both of you now speed walking, it didn’t take long for the three of you, counting the creature, to make it back to the doors you had originally burst out of. Crowley, not being one to wait for anything, quickly barged in. “Not at all!” he exclaimed, probably responding to something you didn’t catch.
“Ah, he’s here,” you heard someone say from inside the room.
‘…You’ve gotta be buttfucking me,’ was your first thought as you peeked out from behind Crowley to see the room filled to the brim with people wearing the same cloak as you.
“I cannot believe you all. We were missing one new student, so I went to find them,” he stepped to the side to present you, making your anxiety spike as all the eyes in the room turned to you. “You are the only one yet to be assigned a dormitory,” he now directed his words to you. “I shall watch over the raccoon, step in front of the Dark Mirror.”
You were never more grateful than now to have the large hood obscuring your face, preventing anybody from fully seeing it. You weren’t planning on going anywhere before you got kidnapped, so you didn’t bother fixing up your appearance at all. You probably looked like a mess. If you fell asleep during meditation, that must’ve meant that you were extremely exhausted; you wouldn’t be surprised if your eyes looked like they better suited a meth-addict grim reaper. Regarding what type of death your eyes belonged to, until you got a good look in the mirror, it was up for debate between two options: if your eyebags were dark enough to make your eyes look like they were sunken into your skull, yet at the same time pop-eyed from the contrast of white and red to dark bags, or if your eyes and eyebags were swollen to all hell, giving you a upper pop-eyed look, as if somebody squeezed you and your eyes tried to pop out of your head, but their escape was thwarted by your skin, just barely strong enough to hold them back. Your face probably looked a bit sallow and nothing but bone; today had been a taxing endeavor, both physically and emotionally. You’d kill for a nap—or any sleep—right about now.
You nervously walked up to the floating mirror, your movements stiff and tense, like a frightened deer.
You were ready to come face to face with your deathly reflection, but instead of your face, there was a mask instead. It looked like a floating porcelain mask that had its own free will, making subtle changes in facial expression and everything. It had a black lacy design in the shape of a masquerade mask around its eyes. ‘Probably has an edgy personality too,’ you added as an afterthought when you noticed the dancing green flames in the background. You couldn’t help but feel that it looked vaguely familiar…
“State thy name.” It spoke with a finality in its tone.
‘So, it talks too, huh? Oh, it’s probably one of those facial motion capture programs. Look at this man; it feels like he’s trying to match the same energy that the Wizard of Oz had. Nobody can live up to that legend of a man.’
“(y/n) (l/n).”
You subtly glanced around the room with your eyes, not moving your head, to try and see if there was a ‘man behind the curtain’ somewhere. You didn’t even see a curtain. Just a bunch of coffins and cloaked people.
‘I’m sorry, are those coffins? I can see better than before but not well enough to make out the finer details, but I can tell those look coffin shaped. Like the kind you would see in Scooby-Doo. Does that mean Crowley said I was transported here in a coffin?! What the fuck, man.’
“The shape of thy soul is…” the mask paused for dramatic effect… okay, for a lot of dramatic effect because this was a long pause. “I do not know.”
‘…what was the point in the dramatic pause, then?’
“Come again?” Crowley sounded like he was about to go into shock.
“I sense not a spark of magic from this one… The color, the shape, all are nothing,” the mask roasted you. “Therefore, they are suited for no dormitory.”
‘Rude but I guess that is kind of how it works? After all, magick is just convincing reality and the world around you to bend to your whims by performing certain actions. So, it’s like being a bender from avatar. But instead of the elements, its reality, sort of. Bending the world’s natural magick… But still, fuck you. I may just be a beginner, but I’m still a witch…wait, unless it’s talking about ‘sleight of hand’ magic. Is this like a Hogwarts school or like a Houdini school?’’
People started murmuring in the audience you now had, staring at you, judging you. You could feel a lump in your throat start to form, a telltale sign of the beginning of an anxiety attack.
“An Ebony Carriage would absolutely never go to meet someone who can’t use magic!” Crowley sounded stunned and frustrated. “In one hundred years, there has not once been a mistake in student selection. So why in the world…” Since Crowley was so wrapped up in what was going on, he failed to notice that his grasp on the creature had loosened.
“Pah!” The gray creature, which you think is a cat since you can see better now, exclaimed as he freed himself. “Then I’ll take their place!”
“Stay right there! Raccoon!” Crowley’s attention was now directed on the freed rabid cat.
“Unlike that dumb human, I can use magic! Let me in the school instead! If you need proof, I’ll show you right now!” The little cat exclaimed
‘Wait, what does he mean by proof? If he’s about to do what I think he’s about to do… then shit.’
“Everyone, get down!” The same voice you heard when Crowley and you entered spoke.
‘Don’t have to tell me twice,’ you lowered yourself to the ground and laid on your stomach; the back of your head was still throbbing, so you didn’t want to chance irritating it more by lying on your back. You crossed your arms in front of your face on the ground so you could comfortably rest your head in the crook of your elbow. Laying like this made your hood fall further over you face, obstructing the top half of the room from your view. The bottom half was all you needed to see though, as the cat spewed blue flames around the room—the same flames that made you panic inside the coffin.
“Waaaah! Hottttt! My butt’s on fire!” You heard an animated voice yell.
“At this rate, the school will be a sea of fire!” You heard Headmaster Crowley shouted. “Somebody, catch that raccoon!”
You heard some of the people in the room bicker about who should go after him, not because of the fear of being burned, but because they were being lazy and saw it as a hassle. ‘Well, I’ve got a bone to pick with him anyway,’ you sighed and stood up, casually walking over to the cat. There was fire everywhere, but you couldn’t find the energy to care. You were tired and hurt and probably concussed, and you had had enough. If your clothes catch fire, you can just stop, drop, and roll. God, you were so done with all this.
So you walked through the hot flames, no doubt getting some burns on your legs from the ordeal, and the slacks you wore that weren’t even yours didn’t burn easily, but the flames still managed to burn several holes through it. The cat didn’t notice you approaching, preoccupied with yelling at the bickering students. Luckily, the cat made sure there were no fires surrounding them, so you got a break from the heat. You took a moment to pat out the fires on your pants and the bottom of your cloak using the ridiculously large sleeves of your cloak. Satisfied that you weren’t burning anymore, you reached for the cat and lifted them up by hooking your hands in its armpits. They screeched at the unexpected flight lesson and immediately began to squirm.
“Alright, I think you’ve done enough. I’m sick of your shit, so cut it out before I choke you ‘til you pass out,” you blandly said to the cat since you were, as you put it, sick of their shit.
“Unhand me you stupid human!” They demanded as they wriggled in your grasp. You held them tighter. You could feel the others staring at you, completely silent for a few seconds before someone broke the quiet.
“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” That familiar voice of the stranger shouted, a heart-shaped collar suddenly appearing around the cat’s neck.
“Nygah! The heck is this!?” The cat shrieked and started tugging at the collar.
“Laws of the Queen of Hearts Number 23: "One shall never bring a cat into a festival," you could now see that the familiar voice belonged to a student with red hair, red as in bright ruby red. “You being a cat means you've broken the rule. I shall have you leave at once.”
“I'm not a cat!!” The cat denied the truth. “I'll burn this collar right up and… E—eh? I can't use my fire!”
“Hmph! You won't be using any magic until I remove the collar. Just like an ordinary cat,” the redhead explained.
“Wh-what?! I'm not some pet!” He’s a strong independent cat who don’t need no man.
“Don't worry, I'd never keep a pet like you,” fuck, that redhead can roast. “I'll take it off anyway when you get thrown out.”
“Wow, as wonderful as ever. Any and all magic gets sealed by your Unique Magic, Riddle,” another student spoke, this one had light colored hair.
‘Would you call that shade a pale lavender or periwinkle?’ You questioned his hair color.
He mumbled something inaudible under his breath before speaking up, “No, I wouldn't ever want that cast on me.”
“You must do something about this! It is your familiar!” Crowley shouted at you again.
You sighed, frustrated. “He’s not mine.”
“Properly discip... eh? It's not yours?”
“Yeah. I’ve been trying to tell you this entire time, but it seems I couldn’t get it past that thick skull of yours,” You couldn’t stop some of the irritated sass from leaking out.
“Y-you did?” Crowley looked rightfully embarrassed as he cleared his throat. “Anyway, let's get it out of the school at any rate. We won't turn you into a stew. For I am gracious. Someone help, please.” Another student took the cat from your arms and carried him towards the door.
“Gyaaaa! Let me go!” The cat protested, desperation thick in their tone. “I'm going to, going to… Become the greatest magician!” Those were his final words as he was thrown out of the room.
“We had a bit of trouble along the way, but this brings the entrance ceremony to a close,” Crowley said with a pleased tone of finality. “Dormitory Heads, please show the new students back to the dormitories.”
This didn’t really concern you anymore, what with being rejected by a mirror of all things. So, you stood there, starting to space out.
‘…wait a damn minute. If that was a fire-breathing cat, then… the kind of magic they’re talking about is… real fucking magic. Like fantasy world, Dungeons and Dragons’ kind of magic: flashy fireballs and eldritch blasts… What the actual fuck is going on? Have I been drugged? Is this just a real bad acid trip? I know I’m not dreaming because I feel like DIO used Road Roller on me. What’s gonna happen to me? Because something definitely went wrong with that mirror since it rejected me and holy shit what are they gonna do to me? Is this gonna be something like a ‘you know our secret so we can’t allow you to live’ kinda deal? Am I gonna die? Is that why they had coffins prepared? Are they gonna shove me into one of those and bury me al—’ you were snapped out of your thoughts when the headmaster waved his hand in front of your face. Glancing around, you saw that you two were now the only occupants in the room.
“There you are,” he pulled his hand away from your face. “Well then, (y/n), I’m terribly sorry about this but… We must have you leave the school. Those without any talent for magic cannot be allowed to attend class here.” He must have noticed you tense up when he said that, because you thought that meant disposing of you. “There is no need to worry. The Dark Mirror will send you directly back from whence you came. Enter the Gate, and picture your home clearly in mind…”
You did as he told, picturing where you last were when you had began your meditation. Feeling very much like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, you found yourself chanting ‘there’s no place like home’ in your head.
“Oh, Dark Mirror!” Crowley called out. “Guide this one back to the place they belong!” A moment of silence. “Once more. Oh, Dark Mirror! Guide this—”
“It is nowhere…” the mirror interrupted.
Your eyes snapped open, a tight strained smile on your face. ‘I’m sorry, the fuck did you just say?’ Crowley seemed to have a similar dumbfounded reaction.
“The place they belong is nowhere in this world; it does not exist.”
“What did you say?” Crowley voice the pg-13 version of your thoughts. “That is unbelievable! Hmm, well, the unbelievable has been on parade today.”
‘Uh, yeah. There was a goddamn fire breathing cat ready to kill us all.’
“This is the first time it’s ever happened since I became Headmaster, what should be… Where exactly did you come from?” Crowley asked you.
“Uhh… Do you just want the country, or do you need the planet’s name since the mirror said I don’t belong in this world?”
“Just the country is fine.”
“Well, I’m from (country), but I have no idea how far away we are from it right now.”
“I’ve never heard of that place,” your stomach dropped at Crowley’s remark. “I have a general grasp of where all the students came from, but I’ve never even heard that name before… If you really are not of this world, then I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to know your planet’s name.”
“Well, I’m from Earth.”
“Earth? As in the ground, soil, dirt?” He sounded like he didn’t really believe you. “Well that’s not very helpful, but I suppose you could call any planet ‘earth’ if you so wished. Well, no matter,” he clapped his hands in finality. “Let’s go do some research in the library.
“Who in their right mind would name a planet after its dirt?” You heard Crowley mumble under his breath as you followed him, clearly trying to keep you from hearing him, but that didn’t work out so well.
‘I think it might be the other way around, where we made another word for dirt named after the planet itself.’
You and Crowley made it back to the Library where you were before, but this time you could see just how large it was since Crowley turned the lights on. Using his magic, he practically summoned various historical books and world maps that showed the different countries and borders that were present at certain time periods.
Your vision was still too blurry to read, but you could still make out shapes fairly well, so you stuck to looking through the various world maps. The first thing you noticed were the continents: they were all wrong. You didn’t recognize any of them, though they were consistent across all the maps you had in front of you. These were not Earth’s continents. Desperate, you looked closer at the borders of different countries to see if any looked familiar, squinting to see if you could even have a possibility of reading the names.
You take a deep breath, ‘Okay, (y/n). You’re a-okay. There’s an explanation for this. I’m sure of it. Maybe you just astral projected on accident or something. Okay. You can deal with that. You’ve read about how to get back to your body. You can do it.’ You visualized a cord of sorts connecting the you here to the you that you remember meditating at home. And then you pulled. You opened your eyes and— ‘…I’m still here.’
“There really isn't anything,” Crowley was the first to break the silence. “Not only the world map, but the name of your home isn't written in any history. Are you truly from where you say? You aren't lying to me by chance?”
“No! Why the hell would I lie about any of—" you gestured around you wildly “—of this?!” You must have looked absolutely terrible because you saw Crowley almost look a little guilty for his accusation.
“Looking at all this, you may have somehow been brought here from another planet, after all... There's also the possibility you're from another world.”
“I really am an alien, aren’t I?” You could feel a lump rising in your throat, that previously pending anxiety suddenly rapidly rising. You sadly chuckled out a resigned ‘fuck’ and rested your forehead against the table, your hands grasping, digging into the back of your head. You could tell you were spiraling, but you couldn’t do anything about it. Your breaths quickened as bad thoughts and worries about what the hell is going to happen to you now kept infiltrating your head without pause. You tried to take deep breaths, only for your breath to hitch and prevent that. ‘Okay, okay, we can do this; mantra time,’ the only other way you knew that helped you calm down was to repeat an unrelated mantra in your head until you stopped hyperventilating. ‘The—the mitochondria… is the powerhouse of the cell**. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.’ You repeated that phrase as best you could, both in your thoughts and aloud.
Eventually, you were able to get your breathing back under control. ‘Okay…okay. We’re good. I’m good. I’m fine.’
Crowley cleared his throat, obviously not used to being in these kinds of situations and continued as if nothing happened. “What did you have on you when you came here? Do you have any identification, like a license for a magic car, name on a shoe… You appear to be empty-handed.”
You gave your pockets a quick pat down. “I got nothin’.”
“This is concerning. I can't just let someone who can't use magic to stay at school. However, as an educator, I can't just toss a penniless teenager out on the street with no form of communication. For I am gracious.”
‘…Teenager? You know what, I’m not gonna correct him. It’ll probably benefit me more to let him think I’m a minor.’
“Hmmmm… That's right! There is an unused building on campus. It was once used as a dormitory in the past so if you can clean it up, you should at least be able to sleep there. For the time being, I shall allow you to stay there! Then I will look for a way for you to return home. My graciousness is limitless! I am a model for all educators. We had better be on our way. Let's head to the dormitory. It may be a bit old but there is a certain charm to it.”
You felt bad for the poor librarians who would have to clean up your mess. You couldn’t stay to do it yourself because Crowley already took off, his long legs giving him a longer stride, making you speed walk in order to keep up with him. You couldn’t wait to lie down and rest your aching body.
*Confederate statues in the US—getting rid of the scary white men but keeping the horses: https://youtu.be/aFgGazYzDPo
** “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” is easy to remember (since it’s been ingrained in all of our heads) and is completely unrelated to most causes of an anxiety attack. Unless it’s a bio test.
Okay, so, I wasn’t expecting to get to 6,000 words but here we are. So we have a witch reader, and by witch I mean drawing sigils and making spell jars and such. Let’s see how long it takes for the reader’s adrenaline to run out and realize just how badly they’re hurt. Also, reader is probably end up being a babysitter for those overgrown toddlers (you know who I’m talking about). You thought boarding school would mean getting away from parental figures? Ha! Think again! Cuz the reader is gonna step up and fill that role because these poor boys are young and stupid. But that’ll have to wait until after the reader gets some proper medical attention.
Chapter 2
#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#malleus x reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#idia shroud x reader#x reader#malleus draconia#idia#can you guess who my favorite boys are yet#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#probably more#haven't really decided yet#come on down and vote for your favorite boys#don't be shy#tell me who you wanna romance#jade leech#jade leech x reader#floyd leech#floyd leech x reader#adult octomer azul?#adult octomer azul#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader
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Fan Fic Tag Game 2020
Ao3 Name: dorypop
Fandoms: hm mostly the raven cycle but i’ve also written for all for the game, harry potter and avatar this year
1. Fic that was the hardest to write/you spent the most time on: skinny fleas. i started writing it before summer, but then i had trouble finding aurora’s voice, and then i started writing other stuff that came easier to me so i just kept procrastinating on this one. but it’s literally the only adam & aurora fic currently up on ao3 and i love the idea and the first 2k words, so i just had to write to be able to read it, you know? i had two weeks of leave from work in october and i spent them finishing wips, and even though i needed some more time after that for the finishing touches i really applied myself to this one.
2. Fic you spent the least time on/easiest to write: the snow is melting (aftg). i honestly had the idea and started typing at a break at work and i didn’t bother to fix plot holes and stuff. i just wrote it in like two days and posted it and moved on with my life.
3. Longest Fic: i’m going to consider all 5 parts in my fifteen years later series as different fics, so it’ll be the miracle came with a pop (52379 words | hp). i didn’t write all that in 2020 but i did finish it this year so let’s say it counts.
4. Shortest Fic: i don't want to screw this up (536 words | atla). it was a short ficlet born from a tumblr prompt.
5. Fic you were nervous to post: hm so i wrote a kinda quarantine/covid fic back in march and at first it was supposed to be this cute “and they were quarantined together” thing but then my brain started providing unhelpful info and the only way i found to deal with how scary everything felt was to write that. i then got a very angry anon comment which was probably my first ever anon hate? so i’m now a bit ashamed of that fic? but i’m not taking it down bc ao3 is an archive so it’ll stay there. plus i like the title (spring will be spring)
6. How do you choose your titles: oh boy. ok so in summer 2019 i started reading haiku poetry from a very pretty bilingual edition of poems by akutagawa. i just fell in love with the format bc it’s normally very visual and evocative but also super short, so my attention span doesn’t suffer. since then i’ve bought a few more books in the same collection and i dog-ear the pages of the poems that i like or that i think could work as titles while i read them. later, when looking for a title, i sit myself to think what the fic is about and browse those dog-eared poems in search of the perfect one. sometimes i’ll also google “spring+haiku” or something if i can’t find the perfect one. then i just choose a line from the poem. i know it’s a lot of work and probably nobody notices but! it makes me happy!
7. Fave Fic you read: oh i got so many! i bookmark all my fav finished fics
8. Fave Fic you wrote: in vino veritas (drunk pynch). it looks really similar to what i was picturing in my mind.
9. Fave comment: i appreciate and love all my comments but i especially like the few i’ve got with requests/suggestions of things to possibly include in my fifteen years later series, bc then i get to plan around those things to maybe put them in the text and it’s super fun!
10. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: i don’t want to rewrite it at all, but one of the aus that i’ve written that i think has space to grow is there is a world (my hogwarts au)
11. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:
(it’s from part 6 of the fifteen years later series!)
Adam’s phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a text from Harvey.
ronan says to tell u foods ready
Adam snorted. Ronan usually yelled at him to come down.
Adam got up and washed his hands, feeling a pang of shame curl around his ribs. Ronan was probably as freaked out as Adam was, and Adam was here feeling sorry for himself and having a mild anxiety attack while Ronan was braving the fort downstairs. He should be supporting him instead, kissing away the wrinkle he always got between his eyebrows when he worried. This was all Adam’s idea to begin with.
12. What was your goal for your fics this year? Did you meet it?: i didn’t really have a goal? i wasn’t planning on writing so much this year actually! back in january i was only thinking i wanted to finish the miracle came with a pop and then never write long fic ever again, and i’ve mostly succeeded—i just need to think of the installments in my harvey series as separate fics, and i’m good to go!
13. What is your goal for your fics next year?: i have the idea for one more installment for harvey that i’m definitely going to write, and after that i think i might take a break for a while (but maybe i’ll get new ideas?? so i’ll never stop???)
14. Highlight of your fandom year: i’ve met really wonderful people through fandom this year. it’s been hellish and i’ve mostly fled every other social media/platform except from tumblr and ao3, so it’s really wonderful that i still want to come here and talk about fictional stuff
15. Highlight of your personal year: oh well it’s been quite bad? mostly due to covid, sure, but i also had some major things come up back in february and early march that were quite hard, and then i had to learn to live with constant changes of plans. i’ve redecorated my whole room though and it feels really welcoming and cozy so that’s a great thing 2020 has brought.
thank you very much to @creativefiend19 for tagging me!! i’m tagging @ailec-12 @pumpkinpadparadscha & everyone else who feels like doing it!
#trc#fic#aftg#hp#d#tag game#skinny fleas#the snow is melting#the miracle came with a pop#15 years later#spring will be spring#there is a world#snow on bamboo grass#in vino veritas
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i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent); iii
Chapter Three - Bad Luck This Family Has
rating: its a gen fic for The Umbrella Academy
words:3.8k
chapter:3/10
First / Previous
warnings: canon typical for tua
AO3
a/n: I blame @sam-writes for pretty much all of this!
Summary: In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.
Vanya was heading home from practice — still riding the high she got from the successful run from today’s piece. She was crossing the street on her last leg of the journey when the window display from the bookstore caught her attention. It wasn’t the Umbrella Academy Comics - she had seen them all when they first came out — they weren’t all that special really.
No — what had caught her attention was the bright red typewriter sitting above them. It was an idea that had been brewing in her mind for a while — something her therapist had said to her.
And seeing it sit above the stories of her siblings — she decided she was going to do it. She was going to tell the world her story. She wanted to finally be heard.
*
Charlie was laughing at Zara, a common occurrence nowadays, when the bookstore caught her attention. She paused her walking, allowing Zara to outpace her for a moment before he doubled back.
Vanya’s young face stared back her from a hundred copies of a book — that she apparently wrote.
Charlie stepped inside the store and bought four — she’d drop off ones for her brothers before she went home for the evening to start reading her own.
*
Charlie ended up throwing the book across her apartment. How dare Vanya write that that that awful crap! She had dug deep into their childhood and had thrown every dirty little secret that the Academy had to the wolves.
The only things that weren’t in her little book were the things that she didn’t know — mission statements and one on one conversations. But all the little tortures from their childhoods — the casual cruelties — were now being read by anyone who picked up a copy of her book.
All of the ways dad used to train them, the ways he’d set them up against each other, the way he was never actually proud of them regardless of the show he’d put on for the cameras…
But how was Vanya to know about any of that…she had never been included enough to know that dad was a massive dick, even to his supposed favorites.
The more that Charlie thought about it, the more she realized she couldn’t actually be mad at her sister. The Academy had almost 10 years of the spotlight but Vanya was always in the shadows. She had no way of actually knowing the damage she was doing.
It didn’t make anything she wrote any better but Charlie knew she’d reserve judgment till after she’d talk to her.
She owed it to her sister — even if they weren’t giving the same courtesy.
She just hoped she could talk some sense into her brothers — they weren’t going to like any of this.
*
Charlie woke up to the sun streaming across her face from her living room. She had stayed up late waiting for Five — she needed him to catch her up and his plan for the End. It seemed like she fell asleep on her couch waiting for him to come home. She wasn’t surprised — the couch was comfortable and she felt safe with the Green around her.
She stretched on the couch a little more and settled in. She didn’t feel like getting up right away. As she closed her eyes, she angled her body to get some more sunshine, allowing it to warm her to her bones. As she did, she smiled a little. It was a small joke from their childhood — that Charlie could be nourished by the sunlight like her plants were.
Mom had told her she just had poor circulation so she was always a little colder than her siblings. Charlie had solved that issue by staying in the sunshine whenever she could — and when her siblings found it funny, she leaned into it. It was just a small thing but it made her siblings happy. She’d do anything to make them happy.
Eventually, she gave a deep sigh and heaved herself from her spot. She knew she would have a busy day and needed to get a start on it. As she was getting her breakfast ready for the day, she frowned out the window - she didn’t think it was supposed to rain today but the weather forecast had been wrong all week.
As she locked up her apartment, she went down to the main floor to gather some food. If she knew Five at all, he would be running on almost empty and while dad had prepared them to fight in sub-optimal conditions like that — he was now dead and couldn’t control them anymore. She went into the back room and grabbed a backpack from her Homeless Bags, shoving some children’s clothes for Five. She’d never tell him that they came from the kids’ section of the store but they’d be the only ones that would fit.
It was completely ridiculous that he was still running around in the Academy uniforms. Charlie knew that only Luther still kept his — the rest had destroyed them on their way out the door.
She brought the bag back out to the Tree and filled up the empty space with baggies of nuts and some loose apples and carrots. They were Five’s favorite when they were kids and she hoped he hadn’t changed enough that he wouldn’t eat them now.
Finally packed with everything she thought she’d need for a day of dealing with Hargreeves Family Bullshit, Charlie left the Flower Shop to track down Five.
*
Allison was frowning down at her plate. After her discovery the night before, she and Luther spent most of the night going over the tape again and again and again. She was tired of trying to find ways to either blame Mom for what happened to Dad or to absolve her of her actions.
They had left the security room to find Mom, trying to get some answers about that night.
And Mom couldn’t give them any of the answers they needed. Instead, she was more focused on making them so breakfast - which looked delicious.
“We need a family meeting. We need to decide what to do with Grace.” Luther interrupted her thoughts.
“With Mom.”
Luther sighed but agreed, “with Mom.”
“Well, you can collect our brothers and I’ll gather our sisters.”
“Why do you get the easy job?” Luther was almost whining and Allison didn’t blame him but no way was she going to try to track down their brothers if had a different option.
He shut up quickly at her look.
“I guess I’ll be looking for our brothers. Any suggestions on where to start?”
“Well Five did stay here last night and I think Klaus might have as well. So 2 out of 3?”
He just sighed again. She laughed at him but didn’t offer to go after them herself. She was going to enjoy the time she had with her sisters this morning — much less annoying.
*
“Do you seriously still not understand the chain of custody? If you touch it, I can’t use it.”
Diego smiled to himself just the smallest bit. As much as he loved helping people, Eudora made his day so much better whenever she appeared — even if it was only to yell at him.
The smile fell off his lips at the sight of the bullet though — that particular kind was manufactured in the 1960s so he was confused why it was in a recent shootout in 2019.
He lifted his hands to show off the gloves he carries with him — Diego didn’t like the Police Academy, but he remembered much of the policies and procedures they had drilled into his head. And he made sure to follow them whenever he was working closely with the police. He didn’t want to ruin Eudora’s career as much as he believed she’d like it so much more doing it his way.
“Let me save you some time running ballistics. These nine-millimeters haven’t been manufactured since 19-”
“1963. Odd, I know. Matching casings were found at a murder scene last night. Ishmael’s Towing.”
Diego followed Eudora as she started to move away from the crime scene, focusing on what she was saying.
“The driver?”
“Found him hanging from the ceiling. Looks like he must have known something after all.”
“It’s a shame nobody told you to go talk to him,” Diego tried not to brag too much but it was hard not to sometimes. He knew that the driver would have important information and he had told her as such — if only they would listen to him occasionally. He smirked at Eudora’s look of irritation.
“In the span of 24 hours, I’ve had attacks in three different places across town. Whatever this is, whoever this is, they’re not slowing down. So, if you really give a shit and you’ve got any fresh ideas, I’m all ears.”
Diego had to give her a fond look at that. He loved her for her heart. She adored the city so much she’d ask him for help — even if he didn’t follow the rules.
“The guy’s kid, in the doughnut shop?”
“I’ve got units tracking the extended family in case anyone goes after him.”
“Well, this place must have surveillance footage.”
“No, it doesn’t exist. The first unit on the scene clocked two shooters fleeing the premises, wearing, get this creepy kids’ masks.” Eudora sounded completely done with the case.
Diego gave a deep sigh. He didn’t know when the city decided to go completely crazy but he was worried. He wondered how much extra time it would take if he added Charlie’s shop and Vanya’s apartment to his route. The rest of his siblings were staying at the Mansion and were protected there but not his sisters. He absentmindedly decided to do a daytime run of the path as he answered Eudora’s non-question.
“This city is really going to shit, huh?”
*
Five grimaced as he ran the needle through his arm. He couldn’t believe that he let those two get the jump on him like that. He really was getting old if Hazel and Cha-Cha got the better of him. And of course, the only band-aids that were in the house had childish trains on them. Trains! Of all things.
6 more days then he’d be dead or drunk.
He wiped the blood off his wound, dressed once more in the awful Academy uniform, finished packing his back, and opened his window. Normally he’d either Jump or take the front door, but he needed to conserve his energy and that meant no Jumping or aggravating talks with his siblings. He just knew that they’d have a load of stupid questions for him that he didn’t have the time to answer them.
Of course, it was his luck that Klaus was dumps- dumpster diving?!? Why was this his life and why did he want to come back and save his siblings again?
A flash of Luther’s hand outstretched to pull him up; the glint of Diego’s knives killing the men attacking him; the feeling of Allison holding him up when his repeating Jumps left him weak; Klaus’ babbling a comforting background noise; he and Ben curled up in the library together; the flicker of Vanya’s uncertain smile; the sight of raspberries growing up between his bed and the wall when Dad was being stingy with the food as a lesson.
He sighed deeply. He could try lying to himself all that he wanted to but of course, he was going come back for them. They were the only things that kept him going all those years.
He ignored that thought — again — and proceeded to ignore Klaus’ inane muttering as well. Five didn’t have time for him right now.
“I’d ask what you’re up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me…I don’t care.”
“Hey!” Klaus laughed as he moved to the edge of his dumpster, “you know there are easier ways out of the house buddy?”
“This one involved the least amount of talking. Or so I thought.”
“Hey, hey, hey, so…You need any more company today? I could, uh…clear my schedule.”
“Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”
“Oh, this? No, no. I can do this whenever. I’m just-”
Five rolled his eyes when Klaus slipped and fell back into the trash.
“I just misplaced something. That’s all,” Klaus’ voice echoed out from the dumpster. “Oh! Found it! Thank God!”
Five grimaced slightly as he watched Klaus take a bite of a half-eaten bagel. He was completely certain that that bagel wasn’t Klaus’. He couldn’t say too much, however. He’d eaten much worse in the apocalypse.
He had saved Charlie’s food for as long as he could — her fruits and vegetables always lasted longer than normal — but eventually, he finished them and had to struggle to find food.
Now, though? Klaus had the option to not eat that but decided to do so anyway.
“Delicious.”
“I’m done funding your drug habit.”
With that, he turned and walked away. He didn’t need Klaus for what he had planned for today and he knew that Klaus had the singular habit of extending conversations to longer then they needed to be.
As he walked down the alley, he spotted a large van parked at the end. That was exactly what he needed.
He thought about picking Charlie up as he started the engine and made his way out of the alley — he wanted some intelligent conversation and maybe a second set of eyes.
*
Klaus ignored Ben’s judgmental stare boring a hole in the side of his head as he spat out the bite of bagel he’d taken. He’d had enough of that through the years that it was second nature.
What wasn’t second nature was ignoring the peach growing into existence right in front of him.
He beamed though! Only one person could do that and right now she was his favorite sibling. He turned and spotted her coming down the alley from the opposite direction cranky Five had left in.
“Schwester! Beloved Charlie, you’ve blessed me with a delicious peach but do you think I could get some apples as well? I’ve been having the craziest cravings for them lately and-”
His sentence was cut off when Charlie, the darling dear, grew some apples and shoved one in his mouth. He just took a bite from it, chewed, and swallowed. He may not have been the smartest of the bunch but he knew better than to anger Charlie girl. He remembered Spring of ‘03. Plus he wasn’t going to waste an apple. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was really craving one. He packed up all the newly grown fruit and stored it away in his various pockets. He wasn’t going to waste any of the food that she grew — she had a talent for it, after all the practice she had when they were young.
As he was chewing, he flapped his ‘hello’ hand at her and felt warm when she repeated the gesture.
“As much as I love you dear schwester, I can probably guess you’re looking for snarky little Five?”
When she nodded, Ben’s comment of “why isn’t she actually talking? I haven’t heard a word from her yet,” was only barely heard as he gave Charlie directions on where their smallest brother left to.
When she left to follow Five, she first leaned over and gave him a faint kiss on the cheek.
What a treasure she was. He finished up the apple and turned to continue his dumpster dive.
He had to find that stupid book.
*
Five made it to the end of the next block before the passenger side door was opened and a bag was tossed at him. He had spotted Charlie’s distinctive hair when he glanced right earlier so he was too worried about what was in the bag but he still winced a little when it hit him. He reached into the bag as he made a right turn and laughed a little when he grabbed an apple. He shot Charlie a glance and a small smile, which she returned before he focused again on the road. He wasn’t going to try having a conversation with her until he could give her his full attention.
As he pulled up across from Meritech, he sat back a little in his seat and fully opened up the backpack. It was stuffed full of easy to eat food that Charlie had Grown for him as well as a change of clothing in his size.
“Trying to tell me something?”
Just that you look like an idiot roaming about in that stupid Academy uniform.
“Well tell me what you really think, then.”
Tell me what to watch for and go change in the back.
He made sure she could see him roll his eyes but started to tell her about Meritech and everything he had managed to find out about it yesterday. He was startled when he heard a croaking sound come from the front seat. His head popped out of the pullover and glanced at his sister. She was laughing. Huh. He finished changing, glad to be out of the uniform, ignoring the warm feeling that was growing in his chest.
They spent a couple of minutes catching each other up on what happened since he left her at the Academy when he left with Klaus before Charlie shifted to look fully at him. He gave her his attention and waited for what she had to say.
I’m gonna head home. There’s a couple of paperwork things that popped up yesterday that I need to deal with, then I might make my way back here or to the Academy. I have a feeling that the house is going to be the center for everything this week. Make sure you eat everything I packed for you, ok?
“You know I’m older than you right? Like decades older than you?”
Like that’s gonna stop me.
She reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze that he reciprocated before she left the van.
Five watched her walk away for a while before he once again focused on his mission. He would only admit it to himself but damn was he glad to be home.
*
Vanya didn’t really know what she was doing here — visiting Leonard at his store. Being with Leonard at all really. But as she gazed around at all the beautiful wood carvings, she gave a slight smile. They really were gorgeous. She took a closer look at the smaller figurines he had placed on the shelves.
One of them took her back to her childhood. It was a small bench with some flowers placed at the base of it — it was nothing too special but it reminded her strongly of some of the happiest days she could remember.
Charlie was always found outside, whenever she had the chance. Mom had even joked sometimes that Charlie was more plant-like then they thought — that she could gain her energy from the sun in the same way her beloved plants could. The seven of them laughed at that a little but it was true. She was at her happiest when she was outside surrounded by the Green she grew and the sun that nourished them.
The one memory Vanya was thinking of though — it was all of them outside. They were probably thirteen years old and Dad was away on a business trip — he’d even taken Pogo with him so it was just the eight kids and Mom. They had free run of the house and light schooling, no training to speak of. That particular day, Vanya remembered, it was blue skies and sunshine. It was special because the rest of the week it had been pouring buckets — they had been stuck inside and left to entertain themselves with what they could find in the various corners and cracks that the mansion had. But that day; the sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and the birds were singing. Mom had let them sleep in and had agreed to allow them to eat outside for both lunch and dinner.
And during the afternoon, Charlie had Grown the most beautiful garden the rest of them had ever seen. There were flowers bigger than her head with colors she didn’t think possible. And the smells! Oh, every next step brought a new smell and they were all glorious. Charlie had Grown the various flowers into amazing shapes and structures but Vanya’s favorite were the benches found right in the middle of the garden. Created from some sort of vines and trees, there were four of them big enough for three people each. Charlie had also grown their favorite fruits and veggies, even branching into nuts, all over the backs of the benches so they could snack as much as they wanted too.
As much as Mom loved them, she had a strict order to not feed them too much. But with Dad and Pogo gone, Mom had taken to turning the other way so she never saw it when Charlie Grew them more and more treats to eat.
The eight of them had laughed and played and joked with each other all day, showing off their powers — they’d even convinced her to bring down her violin to play for them. Vanya knew she wasn’t very good yet, not at that age and only having been playing for a couple of months but when she played that afternoon…she was on top of the world. It was the best concert she’d ever given and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to top it.
They had fallen asleep outside that night, under the stars with blankets made of grass, curled up together.
It was one of Vanya’s most cherished memories — she didn’t even place it in her book; she didn’t want anybody to be able to ruin it.
And one little wood carving managed to bring back that sense of happiness and contentedness that had been missing from her life — only weeks later Five disappeared and the home felt a little more like a house.
She left Leonard’s shop that day with the little violin player and the garden bench.
#the umbrella academy imagine#the umbrella academy#tua imagine#tua#m's fics#my stuff#hargreeves children#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#charlie hargreeves#i couldn’t utter it
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Writing meta asks: 3, 7, 10, 17, and 20? (I'm so sorry for sending so many, this was an interesting ask set!)
Hahaha, no worries at all! Since I just covered 3, let’s see about these others :D
7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?
Oh man, this one always stumps me. The easy answer is that my writing is characterized by being in second person, unless I am dragged kicking and screaming to another pov XD But more in the spirit of the original question, I have... heard that a thing about my writing that stands out to people is good dialog exchanges. It’s kind of wild to me, because I feel like I spend a lot of time struggling to exit characters’ heads and advance the story, lmao. I would be curious to hear from anyone with opinions on this, what’s distinctive about my writing from an outside pov, because from the inside, I cannot tell at all XD
10. How would you describe your writing process?
I think usually when I start, I’ve got some scene that stands out very clearly in my head, either as a visual, or as an audible conversation (sometimes it’s more than one scene, and you get something like the tianlang-jun verse, or the diet bingge, and scope spirals out of my control). But most of the writing is an attempt to get to that scene that hit me really hard, and to make it hit the reader strongly too. But the actual writing process... mostly I write short fics, so I start at a plausible onboarding point, and go until it stops. If it’s longer, I start at the beginning and go until my attention span fails me, then organize my notes into something semi-coherent, and start writing at whatever point catches my eye, until I edit the whole together :V
(somewhere I’ve got a draft saved for an ask meme about specific fics, and things like inspiration/process/favorite moment/etc. I need to dig that out at some point, because I have a tough time talking in generalities, but I love talking in specifics XD I’ll try to find that, but honestly, my inbox is always open to people asking about my stories)
17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?
Ooh, wow. Hm. This is a really interesting question. Man, I want to give this a really thoughtful, well-thought-out answer, but I am absolutely terrible at gauging how other people perceive anything ever XD I occasionally get comments that seem to think I’m dunking on a less-than-sympathetic character who I actually love deeply, but those are pretty rare. My writing and motivations.... I don’t know! I think there aren’t that many unplumbed depths there. I’m not a terribly symbolic writer, I can maybe noodle for longer than people expect about characters’ inner worlds and what they were thinking/feeling in my fics, but I don’t think that’s much of a surprise to anyone who’s followed me for long, haha
20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)
Oh boy, I did not read ahead XDDD Uhmmm, let me see. I guess a major part of most of my longer wips right now is... Shen Jiu. I’ve rambled about him before, but I just want to scream about him all the time, because he’s absolutely terrible to Luo Binghe. He does awful, unnecessary, cruel things to him. I want to get Luo Binghe out of his hands asap, in any given setting (except the diet bingge verse, lmao), and then I want to devote lots and lots of energy to exploring his emotional world and damage and giving him something better. Because this man is miserable! Some of it is self-inflicted, some of it isn’t, and even if he’s not in a downward emotional spiral, he’s like.... an emotional ouroboros, hovering at a pretty miserable place. He’s not going to break free on his own, and he’s not going to let anybody break him free if he can help it, and it sucks, it’s terrible, it’s miserable for both him and the people around him! And. AND. I don’t want to just tell people all about how tragic his life is (though I will absolutely do that too), I want to show them the trapped feeling, the suffocating unhappiness, all of it. I feel like it’s a lot more compelling to read through that kind of situation than to just be told about it, and I really, really do want to (over the course of multiple fics and verses) communicate the... tragedy of his existence, while also finding ways to reach down into that pit and lift him up. It’s important to me.
adfasgd that’s a mildly incoherent note to end on. Here’s a different favorite thing! In the diet bingge verse, even after shen jiu becomes binghe’s second husband, they both insist (and believe) that they hate each other, and that the other one is the worst. however, in a drugged-up haze, sha yuan (third husband) is going to insist, within hearing of both of them, that shen qingqiu is the love of binghe’s life. This will mortify and horrify both of them, they will both be appalled, and mutually decide never to speak of this again. However, he’s also.......... not exactly wrong. Nobody is ever going to admit this out loud, but in a crisis, Binghe’s first instinct is to seek out Shizun before anyone else. This has the bonus effect that Shen Qingqiu will immediately start hunting for ANY OTHER HUSBAND to take a panicking Binghe off his hands, which is Binghe’s excuse if anyone ever calls him out on it, but... he never really stopped thinking that Shizun was the most clever, most capable person alive, and his first instinct in a real crisis is to look to Shen Qingqiu as a dependable waypoint to orient himself on. ‘Love’ isn’t exactly the right word, but I’m not sure there’s a better word, and sha yuan is just muttering to himself like ‘i fucking told you so’
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warnings: implied suicide
a/n: if you feel uncomfortable, pls skip to the important blog update under the cut. long post ahead sorry i did not realize 😬
i sat inside the booth between two train tracks. in such a small space, the pounding in my head didn’t compare to each and every one of my thoughts that touched each corner of the room. minute by minute, the cold from the outside slowly started to fog the outskirts of the glass window.
the train only came by twice a day. 6:40am and 11:40pm weekdays. 12:10am and 9:20pm weekends. i didn’t know what time it was on whatever day i came but it was pitch black out. no stars in the sky, no cricket sounds for miles, no person in sight. i gave up trying to move from the seat, my willingness to even lift a pinky was slim to none. i couldn’t care less if anyone saw me. any decent person would have just walked away if they knew what was good for them.
that night, there was a figure standing on the other side of the train tracks with a lantern held high. maybe twenty feet away. how long were they standing there? there was a good chance that i didn’t even know who it was. like any other night, i chose to ignore— in hopes that they would just leave.
but their lantern burned brighter in response. it was a subtle way of catching my eye but they caught all my attention. the brightness felt like it had finally reached me. it was like the tiniest bit of warmth had melted the frozen exterior of my body, enabling me to move. i was attracted to it. though i wasn’t entirely sure what ‘it’ was. without myself knowing, i was already opening the door.
i walked slow, inch by inch, wanting so bad just to feel that warmth again. just when i could start to feel again, it escaped my reach. i stopped on the tracks and stared at the stranger with a startled expression. right when the warmth left, the motor neurons in my body followed immediately after.
i panicked, not knowing what to do. my body not didn’t want to move. but i think what made me more unsettling was the fact that the stranger didn’t move either. even though the look in my eyes were begging for help.
moments passed, my heartbeart slowed but my mind continued to race with the most unpleasant, forbidden thoughts. knowing exactly where this was going to end, i blatantly stood there. i closed my eyes, listening to wheels of the train riding against the tracks grow from a trickle to a roar. but opened them to see the light shattered on the groud and the stranger reaching out for my hand.
[blog update]
hi there! this is yet again another update post, i bet you’re getting tired of them and i’m sorry. but it’ll be the last one in a while, hopefully. idek if anyone who reads this will actually care but i do need to get things off my chest. i’m making this sound a lot sadder that it actually is, but there is good in it, i promise. you can even skip to the bottom in bold if you really want!
so the past few sleepless nights that i’ve just laid in bed, i’ve soaked up a lot, including all the input that you guys have given me. to all the people that have reached out and given me feedback, thank you so much! but before i announce the news that you’re probably all here for, i would like to express my feelings and thoughts that i think have been bottled up.
world sucks and i want to set everything on fire obviously there’s been a lot going in the span of just a few days. without saying too much, all i will say is that it has taken a toll on me emotionally, more than i originally thought it did. every time a glimmer of hope is in my field of vision, it’s stomped on again by ginormous amounts of cow manure.
i’ve tried to word this in so many ways but the bottom line is: i’m just fucking tired. all the breakdowns i’ve had. the tears out of my eyes. the energy leaving my body. it’s the same feeling of them someone does smth so incredibly stupid that you have absolutely no words to say and you just let them be bc you feel like you already can’t do anything to stop them. but on a so much greater scale. and you feel like you’re just stuck there.
on a very personal note, it also sucks ass coming back on this blog after a long break from kpop. start writing my own content. meeting all you guys. but then having unfavorable events take place and go stumble on a rocky downhill, not knowing when it will never end. you can call me dramatic but it literally felt like someone came knocking on my door just to hit me in the face with a baseball bat ._.
but i was reminded of smth last night: i know one thing for sure. while i was watching svt vids with my lil sister, a smile never left my face. it was 3am and both us filled the living room with so much laughter and admiration. i love svt with my entire chest heart. there is no way in hell that i condone to their recent behaviors (and pledis’ for that matter as well). but like how so many others have stated, svt is a group of kindhearted, respectful, and humble boys no matter what circumstance. and i stand by that.
which brings me to the actual point of discussion: i will gradually start posting my svt writing/works as soon as maybe tmr or wed pst. they’ll probably be in spirts bc i have to get back in the rhythm of writing again, esp for my current series but they will be posted dw! i will try to pry away from writing about wonwoo, seokmin, and vernon for now. moments in july isn’t really a specific member centric fic anyway,,, at least not yet 👀 not saying i won’t ever write for them again, i just think it might be best for everyone’s comfort!
IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT PLEASE REFER TO THIS POST AND DO ME A FAVOR AND CONTINUE TO REMIND PLEDIS THAT THEY CAN EAT COW SHIT FOR THE REST OF THEIR DYING DAYS UNTIL THEY TREAT SVT RIGHT. you can even submit/send me pledis memes so i can email/twt them out myself. highly encouraged.
ight i think that’s about it.
thank you guys for your love and patience!! my ask box and dms are always open for anyone that needs to talk!♥️
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Show Me How Life Could Be
This is my extremely late gift for Jenny (@/froochette) for the @knbsecretsanta . I haven't written for this pairing or concept before and wanted to challenge myself with it. Well, the joke's on me that (once) again the fic went out of hand. This feels more platonic than romantic to me, but I'll let you guys be the judge.
Hope you like it anyway! ♥
P.S. Of course, I'd make it about basketball in one way or another, what are you talking about?
Genre: Humour
Pairing: (platonic) MidoMura
Rating: G
Word Count: 4,191
Summary: Midorima only wanted to do his job properly. Not get into a fight with their most loyal customer and have his life decisions questioned by everyone. Even if maybe, deep down, he was regretting some of them.
Humans show their true colors when faced with someone weaker than themselves.
Midorima Shintarou hadn’t considered himself weak in any regard. On the contrary, he had lived most of his life in moderate privilege: well-off parents, good grades, and boundless athletic ability. This didn’t stop him from always striving with his own two hands for the best humanly possible outcome though. Thus, above all, he fancied himself as a humble person. Acquaintances--friends, depending on who one asked--would often disagree with that statement. But Midorima wanted to believe he had never been as condescending as some of his customers.
The coffee shop he worked part-time was a small cozy place. Located next to the university’s library and lacking any big brand name attached to its identity, it exclusively attracted students who wanted a break from studying or to spend some time between classes. The relaxed pace and the versatile schedule were the biggest reasons Midorima had applied for the position--even if the pay wasn’t anything stellar. As an undergraduate medical student, he didn’t have a lot of free time but he couldn’t impose on his parents forever either. They were already paying for his tuition and half of his rent. It was only fair of him to handle the rest and his day-to-day expenses to the best of his abilities.
For the most part, work was uneventful. Except for the moments when Midorima had to wonder if it was indeed worth the trouble. From demanding customers to people skipping the line and making a fuss over nothing to his personal worst nightmare: customers that seemed to have lost their ability to read written instructions and signs. The redundancy of having to explain simple things annoyed him to no end, as well as the fact they were distracting him from his duties for these trivial issues. Instead of wallowing in despair, Midorima had settled for the next best thing: seething in rage silently. With no other outlet to alleviate this frustration, he’d often picture himself offering retribution to such customers. For example, jumping over the counter to land a solid dropkick to their chest, or throwing the tips jar to their head as they were about to leave. He could make that shot easily from behind the counter and none would be the wiser. The perks of being a former shooting guard known for his ridiculous three-pointers--distance was irrelevant.
Not all customers were irredeemable fools though. Some regulars could be considered at least tolerable, like one Murasakibara Atsushi. The only reason Midorima knew the guy’s name was because of Takao’s snooping. His old teammate/friend kept tabs for all the regulars, more so if they had been involved with high school basketball. Apparently, Murasakibara had been a formidable center in some powerhouse team. It baffled Midorima how such a player had escaped his attention during the championships he had participated in. It shouldn’t have been hard to recognize someone who loomed over the general public like some giant out of an old wive’s tale.
No one seemed to know what Murasakibara was majoring in, but it allowed him to visit the coffee shop every other day. After trying the entire dessert menu in the span of two weeks, he settled on a particular combo. It didn’t matter when he decided to appear, he’d always order the same thing. It saved Midorima a lot of time for which he was somewhat grateful; even if this person’s consumption of sugar worried him as a future medical professional, and cleaning the table after him could become quite a hassle.
Midorima valued rules and order. As painfully hard as it might be to accept, not everyone felt the same way. He was just a glorified waiter in a low-end establishment. He’d do his job, regardless if it was aggravating or not. Keeping his temper in check when faced with personal offenses included, but sometimes there was a limit for even the most patient individuals.
The first term’s midterms had just ended the previous day. Most students seized the opportunity to catch up with their friends over a cup of coffee and some sweets on the side. Suffice to say, the shop was relatively crowded for a regular Wednesday.
Midorima was on cash register duty. Passing all his classes should had left him in a good mood. His horoscope was a bit cloudy that morning though, placing Cancer in 5th place. Nothing too worrisome but he didn’t want to test his luck with handling beverages. So he pushed the responsibility to Takao--who, accustomed to his quirks, only mildly complained--and settled for taking the customer’s orders. Most of the shift went without any incident, but one thing was certain.
Oha Asa was never wrong about his fate.
Midorima didn’t notice the bell chime of the front door above the ruckus of voices. Neither the footsteps approaching heavily. It wasn’t until the lights overhead were partly obscured that he realized Murasakibara had arrived.
With a glance to ascertain the customer’s identity, Midorima began inputting his order. “Would it be the usual?” he asked.
“Actually,” Murasakibara said. “Muro-chin is going to order this time.”
Midorima’s fingers froze and looked once again, properly this time.
There was another student next to his regular customer. He was slightly shorter than Midorima; dark-haired with several locks of hair falling over his left eye. While he appeared like a polite individual, there was too much-concealed amusement in that eye for Midorima’s liking.
“My name is Himuro Tatsuya,” he said with a wave. “I’m sorry if I’m breaking your routine or something. Atsushi wasn’t really planning on coming today--”
“Because today is no good,” Murasakibara muttered under his breath.
“--I kinda dragged him along because I didn’t know where is this. You see, I’ve heard so many good things about this place, I had to see it for myself.”
Takao was wheezing in the back, the coffee machine’s whirling barely overshadowing his laughter.
Midorima ignored him. “What would you like to order then, sir?”
“Nothing extravagant. Just black coffee,” Himuro said. “I am curious about the desserts you have though. They look delicious, but it's hard to choose. Is there something you’d suggest I try?”
On most days, Midorima would stare blankly at such questions until someone came to rescue him from the embarrassment. Instead, this time, he had the fortune of having a dessert in mind. If only because he waited every week to keep a piece of it for himself.
“Today’s specialty is the red bean cheesecake,” he said. “It may sound peculiar but I assure you--”
“It’s stale,” Murasakibara interrupted him. He was examining the display, bored. “Let’s just leave. I told you there is nothing good today.”
“As I was saying.” Midorima adjusted his glasses, annoyance bubbling in his chest. “It tastes perfectly fine. It’s not too sweet so I’d recommend it if you are looking for something to enjoy along with your coffee.”
“This is worse than those in the convenience store,” he cut him off yet again.
“I assure you, sir, that all our desserts are freshly baked.”
“C’mon, Muro-chin. I can make something a lot better and you know it.”
“Why don’t you make it then?”
"Huh?" Slamming his hand on the counter, Murasakibara leaned over the register to level his gaze with Midorima. “Is that a challenge?”
Two things happened simultaneously: Midorima realized he had said that aloud and someone tried to separate them.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it," Takao said with a nervous chuckle.
His intervention only deepened Murasakibara’s glare.
Midorima remained unfazed in front of this attitude. He wasn’t one to get intimidated, even in the rare occurrence the other person was a head taller than him.
“I said what I said.” Keeping his tone even, he returned the glare with equal force. “Now, if you aren’t planning on ordering anything, I’d advise you to step aside. Other customers are waiting.”
On his side, Takao facepalmed with a groan, and he could certainly swear Himuro stifled a snicker.
They remained locked in their stare-off until Murasakibara pulled back. Turning on his heels, he stormed out without another word.
Himuro apologized for the trouble and followed him, leaving the rest of the customers to glance between them in awkward silence.
“Now what?” Takao asked.
For once, Midorima didn’t have the slightest idea.
Several days passed and Murasakibara was still absent.
Midorima went about his shifts, as usual, trying to ignore both Takao's whining and his internal monologue about the whole affair. Their manager had been furious. But no one was more disappointed than Midorima for losing his temper over something this mundane. Personal feelings aside, he should have kept his professionalism as he had always done.
Of course, he wasn’t planning on apologizing if they met each other again. While it had been inappropriate to get into a fight with a customer, Murasakibara had started it with his rude unprompted commentary. The shop had other regulars so one's disappearance wouldn’t have any impact on their earnings. It was going to be alright.
“Pretty boy alert at ten o’clock,” one of the girls announced. All three of them had gathered behind the desserts and snacks display, giggling among themselves.
Midorima seldom participated in such idle gossip. It seemed pointless and distracting. Maybe if his colleagues found something else to pass the time, they wouldn’t need to stay overtime that often.
Unlike him though, Takao seemed to enjoy the social aspect of it. So after taking a peek, he slid into Midorima’s personal space with a conspiratory air about him. “Shin-chan, you might wanna take this,” he whispered, pointing at the spot of interest.
It was one of the tables next to the shop’s glass facade. Himuro Tatsuya was sitting all alone there.
“Why don’t you go?” Midorima asked, shelving the washed cups from the sink.
“Don’t be silly,” Takao said with a laugh. “We, average guys, have our pride you know.”
That was the most absurd thing Midorima had heard in a while. Takao was by no means average-looking, considering the amount of attention he got from both men and women. But he kept this thought to himself.
“Ask someone else.”
“Don’t be like that. If you won’t do it for me, do it for Minami and the others.” He grabbed him by the shoulders. “Fighting over a guy is an ugly thing. They might break apart! Think of their friendship! Their friendship, Shin-chan!”
There was zero proof of something like that happening. Even for a reserved person like Midorima, it was plain as day those girls were joined at the hip. But whenever Takao resorted to dramatics, he could only oblige to make him stop bothering him.
He sighed. “Alright.”
Taking his notepad along, he approached the table in question. Hushed whispers followed him, making wonder with half a mind if this was some kind of ploy. His horoscope hadn’t heeded any important warnings for that day. He had been prepared with the appropriate lucky item regardless.
Himuro noticed him only when he reached him. “Hello again.”
“Hello,” Midorima replied politely, still a bit uncertain from his joyful greeting. “What can I bring you?”
“There must be a misunderstanding?” He pointed at the cup on his table “I’ve already ordered. Your colleague there brought it to me.”
From behind the counter, everyone gave Midorima a thumbs up. It dawned on him then and there. This had been a set up from the start. Forcing him to interact with Murasakibara’s friend in hopes of learning about his whereabouts.
He resisted the urge to snap his pencil in half. Even his good looks wouldn’t save Takao from his wrath when he returned to the register.
“It’s alright. I can order once more,” Himuro said, appeasingly. “I didn’t have the chance to try your famed sweets last time after all.”
Swallowing his anger, Midorima returned to his work mode. “Is there something, in particular, you’d like?”
“Some of your macarons perhaps.”
“Excellent choice. We’ve got a new batch just today. These are made from this university’s Culinary Arts Department.”
“I know. One of Atsushi’s upperclassmen is responsible for them.”
Midorima looked at him as if he had grown another head. “Pastry chef is his major?”
“I’m surprised you hadn’t figured it out already, given how often he visits this place.” Himuro’s visible eye twinkled with hidden amusement. “He eats too many sweets and snacks for his wallet to handle. This hasn’t changed since our high school days, to be honest. The only difference is that now he started making his own, so we don’t have something to bribe him with anymore,” he said with a sigh. “It’s an uphill battle to bring him to practice lately.”
“Both of you are still playing, I presume?”
“Yes, with the varsity team.” Resting his chin against his knuckles, Himuro assessed him. ”I see you’re very informed, Mr. Midorima Shintarou of Impossible Threes.”
“I’m simply acquainted with an extremely nosy person,” Midorima said. It didn’t take long for Takao to learn about the rest of Murasakibara’s teammates after meeting Himuro. “Where you aware of me from the beginning?”
“I had my suspicions since you’re quite the urban legend around here. FYI, your taped fingers gave you away,” he said with a wry smile. “As someone playing in the same position, I was surprised to learn that such a high-profile player as yourself wasn’t playing anymore.”
“Such is life. Different priorities call for different measures.”
“That is true, I suppose. Do you miss it?”
The sun reflecting on his glasses erased the current view from Midorima’s eyes. He was on the court. Everything was silent; no shoes squelching against the wooden boards; no desperate cries for victory. He was holding the rough leather ball, preparing to shoot. The motion effortless and practiced to the finest tuning possible. He always exhaled when the ball left his hands as if spelling a prayer. It went in with barely a sway of the net. It always did.
“My time is limited for the effort the sport requires,” he said.
“That’s too bad.” Himuro returned to his coffee. “I wonder if Atsushi would be more motivated if he had someone of your caliber to compete against.”
"It must be nice being so simple-minded."
"Simple-minded, huh?" He looked wistfully outside. "That's not a word I'd use to describe him."
Midorima stopped scribbling in his notepad. "Meaning?"
"Sure, to an outsider, Atsushi might appear as such. He seems to go with the flow of his surroundings because that's the easiest thing to do. It might be partly true. It's rare to see him get truly passionate about something that doesn't involve his specific interests." He stirred his coffee. "But you managed to light that fire in him, even if for a single moment. That must amount to something, don’t you think?"
This is preposterous, Midorima thought.
Not everyone had the freedom to just do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Usually, another obligation or circumstance would force someone to go against their wishes and that's how their society worked. One couldn't bend the rules as they pleased. No one had such total control over their life. Midorima definitely didn't and it made him no different than the next person. That's another fact he had accepted without a second thought. There was no way a boring person like him could influence someone's life to any degree, more so a person he had barely held an entire conversation with.
Shaking his head, he focused on the task at hand. "Will that be all?"
"Yes." Himuro smiled. “That’d be all.
The Friday afternoon shift was the quietest of the week. Students preferred to visit the nearest bar or karaoke box rather than the café. It was only natural. No one wanted to follow the same routine, more so during the start of summer vacation. Midorima simply enjoyed the opportunity to avoid interacting with any customers for once.
A storm had been brewing over the horizon for most of that day. So, after a while, Midorima told Minami to return home; criminally unprepared that girl, she never carried an umbrella. Her assistance wouldn’t have been necessary anyway. The shop was empty, allowing him to do some deep cleaning of the place with everyone gone. Halfway through polishing the tables, the rain started to fall outside; a gentle pitter-pattering on the glass ceiling at first, before the heavens opened up and unleashed their fury to the ground. This downpour accompanied Midorima for the rest of his tasks--a white noise lulling him into some peaceful trance. Nothing else mattered; not his gossip-loving coworkers nagging him; not that Murasakibara hadn’t appeared for over a week.
He had finished mopping near the entrance when the double doors rattled. The sun wasn’t bound to set for a couple more hours. Yet, the scenery outside was as dark as if night had fallen. Midorima couldn’t figure out who was out there, knocking at the door with such urgency. Leaving the cleaning supplies aside, he unlocked the door.
Humidity hanged in the air, pressing against his face like a wet blanket. “Is there something I can help--”
Midorima noticed the jacket, draped over a light-colored package the person was holding in their hands. Allowing his gaze to travel upwards, he took in their bulky torso which was clad in a drenched t-shirt. Locks of hair were glued on their cheeks and forehead like jungle vines.
Despite all that, Murasakibara appeared only mildly annoyed and maybe a bit out of breath. “Took you long enough,” he drawled.
“What are you doing?” Midorima asked.
“I came as soon as it was ready.”
Annoyance spread hot in his chest. “In case you haven’t noticed, it’s raining right now!”
“That’s why I covered it with my jacket.” He had the nerve to sigh. “For someone wearing glasses, you sure are blind.”
“Excuse me?” Still processing what just happened, Midorima had lost his usual eloquence. “You...it’s been days...and the first thing that comes out of your mouth--”
“Do we have to talk about it here? It’s gonna melt if it stays outside any longer.”
You should have thought of it earlier! He cried in his mind, allowing the other inside in the process.
His sandals squelched against the tiles as Murasakibara beelined for the counter, paying no attention to the watery footprints he was living behind.
Conjuring all his remaining patience, Midorima took the dripping jacket from his hands. “I’ll get you a towel,” he said and disappeared into the backroom.
When he re-emerged, the other had made himself comfortable on a stool. Miffed by his nonchalant attitude, Midorima threw the towel on Murasakibara’s head and took a seat as well. The package was left on the counter between them. Similar to the ones their sweets tended to arrive in, the unassuming beige carton box was definitely from the Culinary Arts department.
Murasakibara peeked from under the towel. “Are you mad?”
“No.”
“You look mad.”
“I simply want to know what your issue is, coming here in such a manner.” He pointed at the box. “What is this thing too.”
“Open it.” Shrugging, he proceeded to dry his hair. “It’s for you, anyway.”
Midorima quirked an eyebrow, more baffled by this development. Since he didn’t receive any further clarification, he warily opened the box. It was a cheesecake; specifically, a red bean cheesecake like the one their dispute had been about. Perhaps it was the sentiment getting to him, but he was oddly touched.
“You made this?” He asked softly.
Murasakibara hummed in agreement.
“I can't possibly eat the whole thing alone.”
"You can share it or sell it. I don't really care as long as you have the first bite."
"We aren't allowed to put unregistered or unordered sweets for sale,” Midorima said absentmindedly. “Since you went through the trouble anyway, I suppose it’s only fair I give it a chance. I can leave the rest for the others to try. Do you want a piece too?" Seeing him hesitating, he stood up and put the machines to work. “I’ll make you something warm to drink. Summer colds are horrible to catch, especially this time of the year.”
“Yeah, sure.”
It didn’t take long for the hot chocolate to get ready. Meanwhile, Midorima found something else for Murasakibara to change into and leave his shirt to dry. As a future doctor, it’d be criminal to let someone get sick in his presence. He also dealt with the dessert, cutting two slices for them and putting the rest of it aside in the freezer. All the while, Murasakibara followed him with his gaze as he moved about like a busy bee. Midorima would prefer to renounce his lucky item of the day than admit he had missed the comfortable silence between them. In a world where everyone seemed eager to involve him in things, this moment was an oasis of tranquility.
“Alright,” he said placing the cup in front of Murasakibara.
“You won’t drink anything?”
Midorima returned to his seat. “I’m not one for sweets.”
“I thought you might have one of your canned red bean soups along with this.” He blew at his cup with an indifferent expression. But his eyes seemed to search for a reaction. “Why red and not green beans, by the way? Considering your hair.”
“I don’t mix those two.” Cutting his fork into the slice, he brought a decent-sized portion to his lips. “It’s unsightly.”
Whatever he might have wanted to add, drifted from his mind after taking that bite. It was leagues better than anything Midorima had eaten so far. Compared to this, his regular Wednesday slice might as well be from the lowest shelf of the bottom-ranked convenience store’s fridge.
“You liked it,” Murasakibara said.
It wasn’t a question, and for once Midorima didn’t feel like arguing.
“I accept my defeat,” he said with grave seriousness. “Why did you have to go through such lengths, though?”
“To prove you wrong.”
On second thought, pettiness was an acceptable reason. “I work here. There was no need to get personal.”
“Yeah, but you did.” Draping the towel around his neck, he tied his hair into a low ponytail again. “It was the first time Mido-chin reacted so strongly about anything.”
“I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced to make nicknames for me.”
“I read your tag,” he said as if it was obvious.
“You’d be surprised how many people can’t do so. But that’s beside the point,” he said with a wave. “Emotions aren’t needed to do my job. In fact, this whole situation brought me a lot of trouble.”
“But you don’t look so dead inside anymore.”
Taken aback, Midorima was speechless.
“It’s true,” Murasakibara continued. “I know you don’t have to talk a lot and I didn’t mind. It made things easier for me too. I didn’t have to think about what to say back like with the others. But with nothing else to do, I watched you from my table. The only time I ever saw you enjoying yourself were in your breaks, sipping canned red bean soup in the corner, or whenever the others tried to pull you into their shenanigans.”
“I certainly don’t appreciate them making a fool of themselves in front of the customers.”
“You’re lying.” He leaned closer. “And when it’s not those moments, you’re like a beast. Pacing in the cage you made for yourself. Like you’re waiting for something. Why are you still tapping your finger if aren’t playing basket anymore?”
Clenching his fist, Midorima didn’t back down. “Let’s say you are right, and that’s purely hypothetical. What’s in for you?”
“Passionate but talentless players annoy me. But talented players choosing to give up annoys me even more.” Murasakibara sat down, his expression turning solemn. “They remind me of something I’d rather forget.”
This statement echoed personal and all too familiar. Midorima wasn’t someone that poked into other people’s business, not actively at least. Still, he could understand the sentiment. Sometimes, in the dead of night, he’d ponder over his current course in life and get mad at himself; for not pushing through harder; for leaving something he loved aside without much thought. Maybe this was finally the chance he’d been waiting to come.
“Say,” he said; his throat dry and his words timid, “if I challenged you into a match, would you accept?”
“You’re deaf as much as you’re blind.” The jab had not actual heat behind it though. “Yes, without a doubt.”
“With that settled, I hope you won’t hold back. Otherwise, I’ll obliterate you.” His ever-bored eyes widening, just a smudge, got Midorima a bit self-conscious. “Is something the matter?” he added.
“You surprised me,” Murasakibara said, rubbing his neck. “That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile, I think.”
“I simply enjoy a decent challenge.” He took another bite off his slice of the cheesecake. “Don't you?”
The other considered it for a moment. "Only when I know I'll win."
It roused another round of pointless bickering. But, truth be told, Midorima hadn’t felt more alive in while.
#knb#knbsecretsanta2020#midorima shintarou#murasakibara atsushi#takao kazunari#himuro tatsuya#knb fanfiction#knb fic#fanfiction#fanfic#coffee shop au#college au#coffee shop/college au#did I channel my feelings about work through Midorima?#yes definitely#those fantasies were the biggest reason I tried to write a coffee shop AU for the first time in my life#too hilarious of an opportunity to pass XDD#wolfswriting
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okay so i was going to send in an ask for the director’s cut thing, but there were too many fics i wanted to ask about 😭 i’ll send them in but PLEASE keep in mind you don’t have to do them all i feel bad dmfjsjf
move so pretty (you’re all i see), sleeping on our problems, works like a charm, just a flicker in the dark, and sweet like honey
ahhh omg thank you for sending these in! i’m so sorry for how long it took to get out - i may have forgotten about it shjkskss also i don’t mind talking about all of them but i’m definitely going to keep each one short. you can find them under the cut:
move so pretty (you’re all i see) ~
this fic was started initially when i was doing word prompts using curiouscat! people would send me words and i’d write a quick little drabble/snippet... they’re typically around 300-ish words but i got the word “owns,” and maybe got a bit carried away? i think that prompt ended up being 1k words - too long to post using cc so i had to take screenshots and post as separate tweet.
the idea that came to me was something i love to read in fics: one of them walking in on the other masturbating. i didn’t intend for it to become anything more than that snippet but i what can i say? i got intrigued. my brain helpfully provided a backstory: best friends, harry maybe having feelings for louis but not wanting to ruin their friendship...
fast-forward three days and i posted an 11k fic shjssks
this was my first attempt at writing a pwp so that was an interesting experience!!! i’m too obsessed with giving backstories and arcs to ever write just pure smut but this is the closest i’ve gotten??? 5.5k/11k being smut, that is. and for once coming up with the title wasn’t too hard because there’s one song i always think of when it comes to best friends to lovers and that’s lucky!!
i don’t really know what else to say for this one! i remember sarah and i both wrote and posted pwps in a short span of each other so that was fun... she’s actually the one who motivated me to finish and post this fic instead of just letting the idea go. and her dog ended up in the story: chica <3 my absolute favorite <3333
sleeping on our problems ~
welp. this fic was a struggle for a long time. idk if i’ve talked about it on this blog but this fic was initially an exes to lovers fic!!! where they spent harry’s rut together right before breaking up and then louis finds out he’s pregnant and angst ensues.
changing it to a one-night stand (even though it wasn’t only one night shjksks) ended up being a really good decision in the way that this new version of the story required a lot less angst and reflection of their past relationship, choices, actions!! that first fic was going to be a lot heavier i think shjsks but i really love how it turned out!!
barring the main tropes, the progression of the story and the outline itself changed so. much. in the process of writing... i found an earlier saved version of my outline and the story is almost completely unrecognizable haha. and actually the most recent saved version of the outline is also not 100% accurate to the final story because for the last 10k of the story, i was flying completely free shjsksk.
also, even after i finished the fic, i went back and added two scenes the next day so it’s safe to say i changed so much of this story -- it was never supposed to be that long either hsjsksk the goal was 48-50k and i thought i was being optimistic!
somewhat in the same vein but also really different: this fic was one of the first fics i ever wrote out of order! before this, i had switched around maybe a couple times when writing a fic but mostly stuck to chronological order. but in this one i kept getting stuck with certain scenes and decided that i’d never reach my goal of finishing unless i switched to parts of the story i had the inspiration to write in the moment instead of getting stuck on one single part i had no motivation for. it really helped the process and i’ve been switching around ever since.
another thing that really helped me actually finish this fic was the motivation and encouragement of people on twitter and i’m still so appreciative of it now :’) there’s no way i could have finished this fic without the kind words and well wishes of my mutuals!!
(also - i included an easter egg in this fic from another one of my fics... i suppose that’s sort of the type of insight that fits for these things? the ballet louis and harry saw in new york was swan lake <3)
works like a charm ~
ooo i wrote this fic for my friend’s birthday!! she loves hp aus and slytherin hl so it was just a given that i write that for her. i was on a deadline - pretty sure i made the doc on september 4th, aka nine days before i posted - and i hadn’t had my full outline done when i started which is is... let’s just say very uncommon.
this is another example of me going off outline and changing the story as i went because initially the estimation was about 12k and the basic plot was that after they’d fuck for the first time, they’d immediately talk about the past and resolve those misunderstandings. but when i got to that point, i realized it felt too rushed for how the story was progressing so i extended it a bit and added some more *tension* and *miscommunication* until they finally got their shit together!
also i feel like some would find louis’ blatant lies when interrogated about his feelings for harry to be unrealistic but as someone who has definitely done the exact same thing (lmao - without the happy ending), i find it a definite possibility. and i mean, we all say stuff we don’t mean under pressure - whether it’s to louis’ (and my) extent or not.
another thing i remember about this fic was having to work out with sarah - who was also posting a fic for this friend’s birthday - posting times and dates. we eventually agreed that she’d post first and i’d post the day after (neither were the actual day of the birthday because we were both running late!) this is a conversation we proceeded to have many other times since we both have made habits of birthday fics and we pretty much have the same friends.
all of this was also happening in sync with us writing a fic together for our other friend’s birthday which was on the 8th... yes it was exactly as chaotic and stressful as you’re thinking but also fun! and i love all three fics involved!! haha.
just a flicker in the dark ~
okay this fic is definitely my favorite thing i’ve ever written and i’ve said that before many, many times but it’s true! but it too changed so much from the initial idea to the final end product.
in fact, the original idea was a 20k somewhat-crack fic where harry was a ghost and louis was the paranormal investigator trying to get him to stop haunting this house. it was just supposed to be a quick and fun halloween fic to work on while finishing up my first blff and finally making head way on my abandoned second blff... obviously, that changed drastically.
it initially started with me getting the idea of louis and harry being partners and enemies. and then i was thinking... why not throw exes on top of it while we’re there??? that was completely self-indulgent since exes to lovers is my favorite trope of all time. but the idea was still that they were paranormal investigators trying to work a case on a haunted house and though the estimated wc had raised to 35k, i was still hoping that it’d be quick and easy because i had two other projects that needed a lot of my attention.
then came the first day of october. i woke up after having the craziest dream about louis and harry and the ghost that was not really a ghost. i ended up writing about 7k that thursday and the story really just took shape from there. the first sequence i wrote was actually the scene where louis goes into the backyard and ends up in the pocket dimension where the spirit imprints on him - i think it was a 3.5k scene and it just flew out of me sjksjsk. after that i took a small break to start my outline but it was more of a messy list of ideas and details and things i wanted to include than my usual organized format. the next scene i wrote that day was the scene where louis is in the bedroom and the demon is there but harry is not but then he is (i’m so good at describing things, right?) that’s actually one of my favorite scenes i’ve ever written and the funny thing is that i barely even knew all the details of the demon plot by this point but my hands just kept typing and my brain had the tendrils of the story forming and that amazing feeling that this is something good.
i could ramble on forever about the process of writing this fic but i’ll just say that it’s the most fun i’ve ever had writing anything ever. word-building and supernatural elements are my favorite and getting to delve into those things here was so much fun! the entire process took twenty-five days (spanning from october 1st to october 28th - with a small three day break to focus on finishing miss wedding au!!) and though i did have some small struggles and moments of writer’s block, for the most part the story just came to me. and it’s so amazing to me because i didn’t even have all the details and facets of the plot until louis did too but it ended up working out??? if anything, it showed his process of figuring things out really well because it was the process of me figuring things out!
also this was the first time i heavily featured a fic pet in a fic and i fell as much in love with venus as everyone else did :’) she has my heart, truly <3 i love this world and these characters so so much and i hope to return to it sometime in the future!
sweet like honey ~
whooo, okay, this fic... yikes. this fic was a capital s Struggle.
so basically this fic was written for the blff and though it came out first, it was the second prompt i signed up for, prompt 63: Friends to lovers AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and flatmates in Uni and they both need money, Harry for his gym membership and Louis for cute stuff like sanrio plushies, so they decide to film homemade porn videos together. Louis is shy and sweet and maybe inexperienced and Harry kinda doms him.
i remember the exact moment i saw the blff post on tumblr about it being allowed to sign up for another prompt from that point on - i was sitting at the counter at my friend’s ranch’s kitchen eating crepes and browsing on my phone. i saw the post and immediately signed up for this prompt because it had been my second choice and though i love love loved my first prompt so much, i was disappointed at not being able to write this one... but i did!
the idea and basic outline was actually completed way back in july/august but for some reason i just couldn’t make any actual progress on it for so long??? i’m pretty sure the document was stuck at 5k for over three months shsjksks to be fair, i did keep pushing it to the side in favor of other newer fics but i was just experiencing the biggest barrier when it came to this story and characters.
in fact, i actually reached out to the mods in late october about a potential extension - they informed me that all writers could use a two week extension if needed and i figured that would be fine. however, i didn’t end up using it! within the first few days of november, i managed to pull the wc up to 8k by the skin of my teeth (was still majorly struggling) - i was still sure i’d need an extension but then something really awful but in this case, helpful, happened...
election week.
basically, i’m a big stress-writer. writing is what i do when i’m upset or anxious or stressed because it truly is my happy place. i wouldn’t say writing during that week made me feel much better about everything going on but it provided a distraction. so much though that i went from 8k to 24k in the span of a few days... and i have absolutely no recollection of writing any of it.
not only did i not need any extension, i also somehow ended up finishing early by a few days. and i really liked what i had!! or what i remembered of it anyway shjskks.
one thing i remember really focusing on in terms of these characters and dynamic was having it actually just be them starting as friends and developing feelings later. i feel like a common trope in friends to lovers fics is having one or both of them with pre-existing feelings that they feel is unrequited. obviously there’s nothing wrong with that (i’ve written it myself lol) and it’s a common trope for a reason - because it’s good - but i wanted to try something a little different. them actually filming these videos is what acted as the catalyst to them beginning to view their relationship with new eyes and open the door to the eventual feelings that developed.
i also had so much fun writing harry’s pov in this one haha. i feel like this version of him was really bold and shameless and super easy for me to develop.
this is also the closest i’ve ever gotten to meeting my estimation word count... ever. my estimate was 32k and it ended up at 33k!!! and yes i’m more proud of that than i should be lol
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anyways, i pretty much just rambled but if anyone sees this and gets some good insight out of it, then yay! feel free to send more director’s cut inquiries!! i love doing them (even if it takes me weeks - sorry again!)
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Steve & Danny & the dog park: a partial examination
Okay, so I’ve been trying to write McDanno fic for 10.04 and I’ve been failing because there is SO MUCH going on that I keep starting over in an attempt to zero in on The Most Important part, and I can’t decide what that is, so now I’m going to write a rambly post about the dog park scene instead.
Let’s take this pretty much line by line:
D: “Women, they love dogs. Right?” Yes, Danny. Yes, they do. You know who else loves dogs? You do. (Which is a fun fact Steve knew full well when he, a guy who has always vocally preferred cats, suddenly adopted a dog, which might be old news by now but does suddenly feel very relevant again.)
D, cont.: “They come over and they pet Eddie -” It’s fun to me that he’s saying “they” here, like that’s not exactly what he does. Random example: remember the start of 8.06? Danny shows up at Steve’s house as Steve is coming out of the water with Eddie after his swim, and Danny is trying to lure Steve inside for the Please Take Better Care Of Your Own Health intervention, but Steve doesn’t know that, and Danny pets Eddie and Steve makes Eddie shake his wet fur while standing next to Danny and then he just grins and for like, another minute doesn’t even think to ask what Danny is doing there in his garden except petting the dog, which Steve seems to accept as a perfectly plausible reason for Danny to come over.
D, cont.: “- ‘cause he’s a handsome guy, and they have no choice but to talk to you cause you’re- [brief hesitation]” I scream at this bit every time because the “you’re also a handsome guy” is almost VISIBLY on the tip of Danny’s tongue. SERIOUSLY.
D, cont.: “- standing right there with the dog -” Ah yes! Covered up that almost compliment so well, Danny. Brava.
D, cont.: “- and then you just- try real hard not to be yourself and maybe get a date.” Can you hear Danny whisper at himself “quick, Danny, think of another insult to keep your het cred!” Because I can. This also just makes me laugh because “try real hard not to be yourself” is so weak as in insult in the face of how much Danny’s actions over the past decade betray that he really, really does like Steve. And, I mean, there’s always the point to be made that if “try real hard not to be yourself” is a requirement to get any of these women to like Steve, that maybe Steve should ditch this whole plan and find himself someone who does like him for himself instead, and that person might be someone, oh, I don’t know, who would go so far as to drag Steve almost kicking and screaming to a dog park because he’s that invested in Steve’s love life. But oh, where would Steve find such a person? Other than less than a foot to his right, of course.
S: “And what are you doing here? I mean why a- Shouldn’t you be focusing on your own dating life?” This is Steve pretty much ignoring Danny’s entire speech to redirect focus away from himself, with all the subtlety of a car crash. And it makes a lot of sense that he’d go for Danny’s dating life - Danny is making a big deal out of Steve’s, after all - but hey, if you wanted, you could definitely read this as Steve jumping to these questions out of defense, yes, but also because he’s disproportionately invested in actually hearing the answers and letting Danny think he’s only asking about this because he doesn’t want to talk about his own dating life is safe in a very sneaky way. It’s taking cover by blending in with the crowd out in the open.
S, cont.: “Like, your ex-wife?” This specification was probably an attempt by scriptwriters to subtly give the audience a reminder of events from last season/tell them about it in case they missed it, but in-universe it ends up as this hilarious addendum by Steve that seems completely unnecessary, but he gives it anyway, like he’s wondering whether his oh-so-subtle jabs were obvious enough yet and then mentally decides that he better point out exactly who he means. He stops just shy of googling a picture of Rachel to remind Danny who she is (which, historically, could very well be necessary when it comes to Danny remembering girlfriends). (Alternately, the fact that Steve explicitly states that he’s talking about Danny’s ex-wife could also be taken to mean that at this point, that’s not obvious. Steve’s been dating multiple women, and we haven’t really heard anything about Rachel at all since the s9 finale, in which Danny only said that they’d been on a holiday together, not that they were officially definitely totally back together (yet). You could, very easily, take “like, your ex-wife?” as A) Steve fishing for answers because he doesn’t have them and/or B) a sign that Danny+Rachel is still an open-ended question.)
D: “O- Okay.” Danny has this tiny, offended stutter here that’s very Danny of him and I love it. He’s also totally ignoring Steve’s attempts at fishing and not saying a word about Rachel, which could be taken as suspect. Either way, they both keep trying to change the subject and this is not so much a conversation as both of them taking turns to go “let’s talk about my thing now (which is actually your thing, because it’s your dating life, let’s talk about your dating life, not mine)” without really responding to the other person.
D, cont.: “I’m here for two reasons. One, because you are easily distracted -” Here, the camera is briefly on Steve who is paying full attention to Danny, not any of the hundreds of other things going on around them in the park, which makes Danny’s claim so beautifully ridiculous. Steve also hasn’t shown any signs of actually being distracted so far, only an extreme unwillingness to enter in this endeavor in the first place - and even then, he is going along with all of this, letting Danny drag him places to meet women (which could mean that he does want to date but has some mental barriers and Danny pushing him is mostly good, OR it could mean he just wants to hang out with Danny more than he wants to be left alone when it comes to dating).
D, cont.: “- and two, because, I wanna take credit when this thing goes down- right, and you get a date. I wanna take credit.” Okay, so, that sounds like a pretty weak excuse to me. He wants to take credit for Steve’s succesful dating life? Is that’s why he was calling and texting Steve during a date that he set Steve up on, which already comfortably ensures he’d have more than enough grounds to claim that credit? I know this is a very wide open door in fandom, but free suggestion, Danny: ask Steve out. You’ll be able to take full, 100% credit for Steve’s dating life, and you won’t have to call him during dates to check up on him because you’ll have a live feed right across the table, and you can pet Eddie as much as you like and insult Steve even more, if that’s what you want, and you won’t have to strain something nudging and winking at Steve whenever there’s a woman in your general vicinity while Steve strains something trying to act like this is totally not awkward for him.
After this, Steve grumble-mumbles a little, Danny starts instructing him to throw the ball, Danny does it himself, and Eddie ends up needing stitches. Somewhere in the middle there’s that amazing bit where Danny is talking up a woman walking her dog and Steve makes appreciative noises and when he finally opens his mouth, he says her dog is beautiful, which just, god, that’s such a mood.
I think this is about where I’m leaving it, but a few thoughts about Steve and Danny’s phone call a little while later, when Danny is at the office and Steve is outside the vet’s place: I really like that when Danny says the vet likes Steve, Steve says “she’s at work! she’s being professional!” because even though it’s probably mostly Steve making excuses so he won’t have to step out of his comfort zone, it’s also A VERY GOOD POINT. Generally, hitting on people while they’re at work and are somewhat obligated to be nice to you is not the best of ideas.
ALSO. Actually the last point this time: perhaps my favorite bit of this entire episode was when Steve, during above phone call, went, “Me, personally, I like to meet someone and, and organically come to those feelings between me and another person. You understand that?” Now, OKAY. Firstly, I just think that’s really sweet. Secondly, if we assume this is true for how Steve approaches all relationships, including friendships, I think the fact that he basically lays eyes on Danny once and just kidnaps him into staying is hilarious, because it means Danny pointed a gun at Steve one (1) time and for Steve that was it, boom, organic feelings succesfully developed in the span of perhaps thirty seconds, and oh my god does that say a lot about Steve as a person and his relationship with Danny.
And last but not least, thirdly, Steve says he likes to come to those feelings organically “between me and another person”, which isn’t that weird - women are people, so this is a perfectly acceptable way for a straight guy to talk - but I mean, to do some more open door kicking, hey, men are people too! The phrasing here is gender neutral and that doesn’t prove anything, but it’s one of those things that really conspicuously doesn’t exclude any possibilities, either. It’s headcanon heaven (as, honestly, is this whole subplot, imho), and I appreciate that very much.
#mcdanno#10.04#meta#according to a word counter this is 1666 words which is Too Many#THIS IS why i'm having trouble taking all of these thoughts and pouring them into one at least semi-coherent story of no more than 4k#*
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Alone, Together | Chapter 8 | Morgan Rielly
A/N: This is a little bit of filler / a little bit of insight into Bee, but I promise things are going to pick up a bit from here :) Thank you again for all your lovely asks, comments, reblogs, and more! A quick reminder that I respond to all messages and asks about my fics, so if you have any questions or comments, don’t be afraid to send them my way.
It was the Toronto Maple Leafs’ home opener.
Despite an essay being due that day at 5pm, and despite another assignment being due in two days, one worth a whopping 40% of her mark, Bee had promised Morgan she would be there. ‘It would mean a lot to me’ he had told her one night after they had finished a steamy round of sex at her place. ‘It would mean the world to me if you could be there.’
How could she say no to him as she was wrapped up in his arms and entangled with his body? How could she say no when his voice was so soft, his intentions so pure, his heart so full? How could she say no to watching him do what he loved? It was the easiest yes she ever told someone. The biting of his lip to suppress his earnest smile afterwards made her want to blow him for the entire fucking night if it meant the smile never left his face.
Bee always had five-year plans. They began when she was eleven years old and browsing the internet at her local public library about how to live apart from an alcoholic parent. Almost all of the websites she found talked about living with another relative, but she didn’t have any. Then the words ‘legal emancipation’ came up. This was Bee’s first five-year plan: document everything her mother did (or, in reality, didn’t do) to have a case in court that she should be withdrawn from her mother’s parental control. She was successful. Because Bee voluntarily withdrew parental support and left home, her mother wasn’t legally obligated to support her – which was exactly what she wanted. No more contact with a mother who would spend money on alcohol instead of food or decent shelter. No more obligations to a mother who, by her own inaction, forced Bee to start fending for herself at an age most kids were still playing with dolls or kitchen sets. No more vulnerability exposed to a woman whose severe alcoholism didn’t make her care at all about her own daughter, however wanted or unwanted she was. No more addiction. No more alcohol.
Once she was legally emancipated from her mother, Bee’s second five-year plan, which spanned ages 17-21, came into effect: get into university, then get into grad school. She got a job as a cashier at a grocery store and worked after school and weekends to earn enough money to rent out a room in the basement of a house near her school. She got letters of reference from her teachers for little-known scholarships not many people would be applying to. She maintained a high enough average that U of T gave her an academic scholarship to cover about half her tuition. When she won the other scholarships, she was safe in knowing her tuition would be covered and she wouldn’t have to incur debt or other loans.
She was currently in the middle of her third five-year plan: get into grad school, graduate with a job offer, and work. At 22 years old, she was on the right path to achieving it. If all went well – which it had to – her fourth five-year plan would come into effect: work hard to get at least one promotion, save enough money, and buy a place.
The plans were contingent on some things working out for her – like keeping her current apartment at the rent she was already paying and getting a job as soon as January when she didn’t have to attend classes anymore – but she knew she would be able to do it. She worked hard so that everything ‘worked out’ before. There was no reason it couldn’t work out again. And again.
What the plans were not contingent on was her meeting someone. They were not contingent meeting Morgan Rielly of West Vancouver, British Columbia, and actually becoming, as corny as it sounded, completely smitten with him. The plans did not include making out on his couch for hours, falling asleep in his bed while watching Netflix, or having a game on in the background while she marked. The plans did not include spending a good three hours researching everything to do with hockey and the Toronto Maple Leafs so she could, even just slightly, begin to understand his life.
But she was letting him in. Fast. He was quickly becoming a part of her life, an established part of her life. So established, apparently, that she agreed to go to his home opening game without so much as a second thought.
The energy inside Scotiabank Arena was palpable. Bee cheered and clapped along with the rest of the fans, family members, wives, and girlfriends in attendance as the announcer was introducing the team. She made sure to scream extra loud when Morgan’s name was called, and she noticed how loud the arena got when John Tavares was announced. From beside her, John’s wife Aryne couldn’t stop filming the reaction. They were opening their season against the Montreal Canadiens, and Bee knew she had to boo them because they were one of the team’s oldest rivals. A Canadiens player scored the first goal, but the energy wasn’t sucked out of the building at all. In fact, it came right back about three minutes later when Auston scored a goal to tie it. When Aryne pointed out that Morgan got an assist on the goal, Bee screamed even louder.
When the first period ended, Bee remembered that she had twenty minutes to spare before the second began. As she watched some of the other wives and family members get up to go to the washroom, she looked down at her messenger bag and then to Aryne. She wondered if it was appropriate to take out her laptop and work in between periods. Did anyone else ever do that? She was sure that in the entire history of hockey, there had to be one girl who took out a book or notebook or laptop and focused her attention on something other than hockey. Getting an education never looked bad, right? “Aryne…”
“Yeah babe?” she answered absent-mindedly while looking down at her phone.
“Do you think…I mean would it look bad…” Bee began.
Aryne finished typing her text before locking her phone and looking at Bee. “Would what look bad?”
“I…have…I have homework,” Bee said, completely embarrassed.
“Oh my God! Are you joking! Take that stuff out right now!” Aryne cried. “You have homework? What are you working on?”
“Richard Thaler’s theory of behavioural economics.”
“You take it out right now and start working,” Aryne demanded like a mother. “You’ll be setting a good example. Some of these girls need to be doing homework instead of filming themselves drinking wine for the Instagram stories.”
Bee snorted. “You’re something else, Aryne.”
“I’m being serious. I’m trying to be less judgemental as a whole, but I still can’t help but feel snippy about dropping out of school to be an Instagram model with a YouTube channel,” she said. “I went to McMaster and got a bachelor of science in kinesiology, then I got my Master’s from Queen’s in physiotherapy. All while John was playing hockey in New York. You don’t need to be shy about breaking out a laptop with a 100-page PDF because I know that feeling.”
Bee couldn’t help but think back to what Angie had expressed when she and Mason found out Bee was dating a hockey player. ‘All those girls wearing Aritzia on King West, all those Instagram model girls are looking for people like him.’ Yet she was the one here for Morgan, not an Instagram model. Were things changing? Was it still out of the realm of possibility in this day and age, where so many people went to university, that a hockey player could date a girl smarter than him, with two degrees? Aryne proved it wasn’t an anomaly. So did Alannah. She was sure other women did too. She wasn’t so out of place after all, was she?
“Okay, thanks Aryne,” Bee smiled, not feeling as bad about it anymore as she dug into her bag to get her laptop.
“I’m going to run to the washroom but I can grab you something if you want?” Aryne asked as she stood up from her seat. “Some wine, maybe? Behavioural economics sounds…tedious.”
“I’ll be okay. Thanks though.”
As Aryne left, Bee focused her attention on exactly what Aryne had predicted: a PDF about behavioural economics that was required reading for the assignment she was working on. Family members around her mixed and mingled with each other as she zoned in, conceptualizing the theory in her head and adding some notes to her assignment. She knew she wasn’t going to get the entire thing done within the two intermissions she would be given, but it helped. Anything helped.
During the second period, John Tavares scored his first goal as a Maple Leaf and the entire arena, including Aryne, went nuts. She couldn’t stop jumping and dancing around, and she even stood on her seat and stretched up to high-five John’s parents, who were sitting two rows above them. And though the game went into overtime, it was poetic justice when Auston Matthews scored the game winner. It couldn’t have been a more perfecting ending, a more perfect start to the season. The Leafs beat their rivals.
Bee could start to understand, at the most miniscule scale, how and why people loved hockey so much. If they got to feel like this because of the team on any given basis, she would be a die-hard fan too. She knew there were probably some not-so-great times, and she knew sports were a lot more complicated than this simple understanding she had right now, but it was interesting to see this side of things – this world she didn’t have privy too growing up, or even now. If she hadn’t have met Morgan, she didn’t think she would have ever been able to experience this. It was fun and exciting and confusing and daunting all at once – much like everything else in her life up until this point. After having to figure out life and survival on her own, having people like Morgan, Ashley, Alannah, and Aryne to guide her into this new foray was a welcome blessing.
When the game was finished, Bee followed everybody backstage where they patiently waited for the boys to be done with interviews and other post-game happenings. Bee was chatty with Ashley and Alannah when they boys started to file out. Like the pre-season game, when Morgan made his way through the doorway, his hair was a dishevelled mess. He looked so cute. He immediately found her in the crowd of people and made his way over.
“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile, bending down to kiss her quickly. She still had his jersey on and, stereotypically, it was his favourite look on her. The way her brown hair fell over the letters of his last name somehow drove him crazy.
“What a game!” she smiled excitedly. “Auston’s first goal! And you assisted!”
“I know, Bee.”
“And then John! First one as a Leaf! Then overtime! Auston again!” she recounted the game to him as if he wasn’t there.
He nodded his head and his smile got wider with every exclamation from her. “You’re buzzin’ right now,” he laughed. “Buzzin’ like a bumblebee.” Seeing her so giddy about a game of hockey made him ecstatic.
“It was a great game!” she adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “The crowd loved it too!”
“Did you bring homework?” he asked unexpectedly as he noticed her bag.
“Y…Yes?” she answered apprehensively. “Remember how I told you I have that assignment all about behavioural economics…” she tried to explain herself.
“Atta girl,” he whispered, dipping down to kiss her again. “You ready to go? Wanna come over mine?”
She shook her head at his request. “I’ve got class at nine in the morning tomorrow,” she explained. She thought about whether or not she should add the second part. “You want to…uh…come over mine instead?”
“See ya guys later,” Morgan announced to everyone, giving a big wave to everyone before grabbing Bee’s hand and pulling her along with him. She laughed, knowing this is the exact same exit strategy he took last time when they left during the pre-season game.
As they made their way to the Scotiabank Arena’s underground parking lot, Morgan continued to hold her hand until they got to his car. Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for her before walking around and getting into the driver’s seat. He started the car, but instead of backing out of his parking space, he just looked at Bee. When she noticed they weren’t moving, she looked over to see him staring. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“C’mere,” he whispered. She leaned over the centre console and he kissed her gently, bringing his hand up underneath her shin. He gave her a few more kisses. “Thank you for being here,” he whispered.
“It was a lot of fun,” she reiterated her sentiments from earlier.
“I know, but I really mean it,” he said. “I get how you like to be alone so I know it’s a lot for you to come to these things. I know it takes a lot of like, energy or whatever, especially for introverts, to be around big groups of people…so thank you,” he whispered.
With every kiss and with every comment like that he made to her, it was getting harder and harder for her to ‘take things slow’ and ‘not put a label on it’. Her words. She was humbly aware that they had only met in late July. She was humbly aware that since then, in all of their interactions and dates and adult-themed sleepovers, they hadn’t fought once. She was humbly aware that with each passing day, he was carving out a place in her life she hadn’t made room for; one that he nestled into comfortably, without disruption, without fanfare. Like he was always meant to be there.
She was also humbly aware that with each passing day, now that the season had started, it was going to get harder. She would miss him when he was gone. She wouldn’t be able to see him as often because of traveling, or because of practice, or because of the schedule of game days.
“I’ll always come and support you,” she said. “I know you’d do the same if I played hockey too or whatever. Plus most of the girls are great. They’re very warm and welcoming and it doesn’t feel…I don’t know, tiring to be there, or be with them. I might have to ask you for some extra tickets sometime though so I can bring Angie and Mason.”
“You just tell me when,” he gave her one last quick kiss before finally reversing out of the spot.
When they finally arrived back at Bee’s apartment, Morgan undressed while she washed her face and brushed her hair in the washroom. He stripped down to only his boxers before getting into her bed, lying down with the covers half-draped over his body.
“I thought your backcheck was good tonight,” she said from the washroom.
Morgan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did the word ‘backcheck’ just leave her mouth? In the right way? In the appropriate context? “Um, excuse me?”
“You heard me,” she said as she appeared in the doorway, brushing her hair and sweeping it over one shoulder. “Your backcheck was good. Like, I know you’re a defenseman, so that’s kind of your job…I think…but I looked for it tonight and thought it looked good. Better than the pre-season game I went to.”
“Who are you and what have you done with Briony McTavish?”
“Shut up!” she giggled, throwing her hairbrush back into the washroom before making her way towards the bed.
When she climbed in, Morgan’s grabby-hands went into full effect, guiding her body towards his. He only meant to cuddle and be close to her, but Bee took it as an invitation to climb on top of him. He wasn’t exactly complaining. “Where’d you learn all that?” he asked. Despite being genuinely curious, he couldn’t help but be more interested in the feeling of her straddling him on her bed. His hands caressed her exposed thighs and squeezed at the flesh. Her pajama shorts were riding high. Morgan licked his lips at the thought of what they could get up to. He wondered if she could feel him getting hard beneath her.
“I studied,” she grazed her fingertips lightly over his chest.
“You what?”
“Mhm,” she giggled slightly. “It’s what I do best, Morgan. I researched and I studied. I even know who Mike Babcock is now.”
“Well you know what…” he said, his hands wandering from her thighs to her hips, grabbing at the flesh there, too. If it were up to him he would grow extra arms to be able to touch every inch of her body. “I studied too.”
“You did?”
“Mhm.”
“And what did you learn?”
He gave her a look. “Macroeconomics.”
She giggled at the tone he used, how nefarious the look on his face was. “Oh.”
“I have something even better,” he winked. He propped himself up so he could get even closer to her. He gave her a quick peck on the lips before continuing. “Microeconomics.”
She snorted, unable to hold in her giggles. “Talk dirty to me, baby.”
“Be careful what you wish for,” he mumbled as he began kissing her, leaving a trail along her jawline to her ear. His hands traveled to her thighs again, but this time slipped in between the gaps of her shorts. “Karl Marx,” he continued, biting down on her skin.
“You know how to make a girl horny, don’t you?” she tried her hardest to stop laughing, but her attempt was futile.
“The proletariat and the bourgeoisie,” Morgan continued.
“Oh my God Morgan,” she chastised him. He was beginning to sound like a first-year economics student who thought they already knew everything. He bit down on the skin of her neck while simultaneously slipping his hands underneath her shirt, pulling it up. “Morgan.”
He kissed his way back up to her ear. “Alan Greenspan.”
“NO!” she exclaimed immediately. The mention of Alan Greenspan definitely did not get her off. She broke out into a fit of laughter. “ABORT MISSION!”
“AH!” the look on Morgan’s face was one of pure fear. “Oh, um, KEYNESIAN ECONOMICS!”
“Yes! That’s better!”
“Social safety net!” he exclaimed again.
She began to cackle from laughing so hard at the absurdity of it all. She fell beside him, giggling like a man woman. She could feel her eyes well with tears for how hard she was laughing. “There’s something wrong with you,” she managed to giggle out.
“Stop trying to get me to lose my momentum!” he accused her. His large body hovered over hers as his hand found her hips again. He began kissing her again; light feathery kisses along her jawline and neck as his fingertips traced their way along the elastic band of her shorts. “I’m trying to seduce you here.”
“It works when you mention Karl Marx and the proletariat.”
“Oh yeah?” he smirked at her response. She nodded her head. “I gotta brush up on my reading of the Communist Manifesto then.”
“I’m more of a Das Kapital girl myself.”
Morgan rolled his eyes. “Okay, who’s getting the economics degree here again?” he posed the question, garnering another laugh from her. “Should I start signing up for classes? Don’t start treating me like one of your first-year students.”
“I don’t know,” Bee rolled her eyes playfully. “Might get to boss you around a little bit.”
Morgan’s eyes lit up. “I like the sound of that. Gives me an uprising in my pants.”
Bee cackled again, pushing his body off her. Morgan collapsed onto her side, laughing at the silliness of it all. The mood was ruined but her heart was full. She couldn’t believe it. “You’re something else, Morgan Rielly.”
#morgan rielly#morgan rielly imagine#morgan rielly fic#toronto maple leafs#toronto maple leafs imagine#toronto maple leafs fic#alone together series
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