#You must really hate yourself
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This doesn't sound like you, Boston Dumb Fuck.
#no self awareness#ai in human form#i don't like hypocrites#i hate manipulation#liars suck!#you are the company you keep#You must really hate yourself#is your mom still proud?#Does it hurt when you lose your soul or are you just numb?#Self serving prick#Living ghost
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Funny how you assume genders. Choke on the bullshit you preach, no one will pay for your tit re-installment surgery. Brainwashed dipshit. You only wish I was ugly so you could live with your miserable self.
go to therapy...
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Laudna truly is the personification of why loving someone else isn’t enough to heal you from trauma: you must love and value yourself, too. Laudna loves Imogen and will do everything for her, but she doesn’t love herself, and because of that views herself as acceptable collateral in The Cause Of Imogen. Because she sees no inherent value in herself, she also doesn’t understand that Imogen sees value in her, and that hurting herself ultimately hurts Imogen too. Instead she gets upset because she’s giving up so much for Imogen and Imogen doesn’t appreciate it, has even expressed disgust at it. Meanwhile Imogen is falling into despair because no matter how much support she gives Laudna she just keeps self-destructing, because she is desperately clinging to the idea that she has no inherent worth as a person. In the end, no external force will be enough to save Laudna. No one but Laudna can fight Delilah, and no one but Laudna can give her self-worth.
#critical role#cr3 spoilers#cr3#laudna#imogen temult#many critical role thoughts today#but yeah laudna really showcases how hating and hurting yourself will hurt the ones you love too#even if that isn’t what you want or intend#and that sometimes to help others you must help yourself first#nella talks cr#southern gothic#imodna
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Controversial idea but I think the idea of “the skinny girl who calls herself fat for eating food is terrified of becoming fat and therefore deserving of ridicule” is wrong and shitty and harmful and typically based on the speakers own hatred of their body and insecurity
#no they are not fearing being fat because they think you’re a disgusting monster and it’s a personal attack against you#they fear being fat because society will fucking abuse them if they don’t rigorously police themselves and stay skinny.#you should sympathize with that point.#it is VERY easy to tell the difference between someone who fears being punished by society#and someone who hates fat people#but you do have to get over yourself and your insecurity to do it and some of y’all are really fucking averse to that#just because someone desperately trying to avoid being abused by society in a way you can’t hurts your feelings#doesn’t mean they deserve abuse from you on top of that.#they are not better for succeeding at avoiding societal abuse and most don’t think they are#one of the things that made my eating disorder much worse in my teenage years#was my fat activist peers shaming me for having it because it MUST mean my worst fear was looking like them because I hate them#rather than fearing more social abuse and ostricization that I felt I could avoid
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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
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#i never really post about my Real Life Stuff on this account anymore but i feel like i must acknowledge the elephant in the room.#especially as a lesbian who lives in one of the most backwards southern states in the country.#the last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. because of politics; because of work; because of a lot of stuff.#i know a lot of you are feeling the same which sucks but also shows we are in this together!#there is so much to be angry about but now more than ever i want to focus on the things i love#i love my family. i love my friends. i love my community. i love you.#i love creating art and consuming it. i love my job for giving me the means to help people even if its in a relatively small capacity.#i love being a lesbian no matter how loud hateful idiots believe they can be.#anyways.#hang in there guys. stay safe. stay connected. isolating yourself is not the answer.#carolcore
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"online spaces seem to define lesbianism as a hatred for men rather than a love for women" fuck yeah man and it's so fucking tiring. Isn't bioessentialism exhausting-
"so it really annoys me when people can't separate men from lesbians entirely. Like if I see another 'this male character is a he/him lesbian' post I'm gonna kms" oh! Ok you're insane.
#this is beat for beat a post i had to see with my own eyes not too long ago#congratulations you really do hate men still and its just repackaged as 'protecting the lesbian community'#i didnt even check if op was a terf i just fucking blocked them and moved on bc at this point. walks like a duck etc#like some of u guys really need to learn that radfem ideology is bioessentialist nonsense about vitriolic hate for all men#or those perceived as men#and not to be a 'not all men' truther but u need to watch yourself. are you complaining about the patriarchy#or just reinforcing that toxic masculinity is an inherit genetic trait rather than learned behavior#again i will sound pedantic. but if i must say it i will say it. this isnt misandry sis its walking a tightrope over a tar pit of lies.#mspec gay#mspec lesbian#lesbiogay#bi gay
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deeply annoying when people say quinn would target leah over her not reciprocating his crush, he already knows that and he’s known it for weeks. i think people are being overdramatic about leah, i think it’s certainly a,,, idk mean strategy to just gaslight him about how she hasn’t been consistently talking shit about him, exaggerating what he says to make him seem worse, and saying she’s gonna nominate him, but like…so is the rat game quinn was trying to play, so is blindsiding people, like it’s a mean game, there’s a reason most people need therapy after this game even during seasons where nothing Genuinely Awful happened.
but targeting her Specifically bc she doesn’t return his crush IS douchey, and it’s also Not what he’s doing or would do if he found out what she’s been saying bc again he already knows she isn’t interested in him romantically. what he doesn’t know is that she has no interest in working with him & seems to dislike him enough that she doesn’t even want to be in jury with him. i don’t think either of them have done anything wrong, they just don’t vibe the way turner & jasmine didn’t or the way bowie jane didn’t vibe with the rest of bbb, and “we don’t vibe” is a perfectly legitimate reason for them to be targeting each other, you don’t want your fucking opps in the jury now do you??
#bb26#‘you woobify him’ did u notice how he has said in his cam talks how he’s confused by her game decisions towards him.#or do some of u see someone who isn’t a conventionally attractive bro and assume he must be a creep 🙄#i feel the same about the leah whacks. yeah she overstated & misunderstood his ‘is joseph a better roommate’ joke and it pissed joseph off.#but a) joseph is an adult and when he clearly brought leah up to quinn today & was picking up on how uncomfortable quinn is with the comment#about him basically pulling a frenchie on the girls#and b) listen. gaslifhting people abiut your behavior is the name of the game. it’s risky bc u could earn yourself a bitter jury a la kyland#gaslighting sb so well she didn’t wanna talk to him after the show lmao. but that’s the game!! she flirts to get herself through the game.#is she really goofy with how she hates when the guys she’s flirting with catch feelings? objectively yes! but it’s not problematic and i#actually do understand the feeling of ‘this man views me as a showmance opportunity & thats it’ and flipping so severely. imo this is why#she hasn’t flipped on joseph - she feels respected by him bc he’s been a lot more discreet about his crush. i think the backlash to her#doing this is so goofy and very similar to (u kno i love them) those old ladies last year being so down on america & kirsten for being young#and flirty and sexy and knowing it. like grow up my god.
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“Slut your wrists! Kill yourself! then you post a selfie saying “Don’t want to smile feel weird about it” as a desperate attempt to get compliments. You’re in your mid twenties doing all this😭 Grow up you’re not a teenager anymore. 30 is closer than ever and you’re breaking down because someone asked if you cry a lot? Someone mentions your jowls and you freak out. You tell them to kill themselves. People your age are Mothers. You might not have any but act your age. Geez.
my dick must taste fantastic for how far you're throating it
#I'm not doing it for attention <3 i literally am just talking and expressing myself <3 my therapist said i can say kill yourself <3#and if you could read which clearly you can't you would know that they didn't say it to be nice or anything they wanted to hurt my feelings#sorry I'm human and get hurt because i don't like how i look sometimes that's 100% okay dumbass#and you must think I'm stupid to live in utah and not know people are mothers do you think Im oblivious and don't already feel awful#what have you gained from this cause i don't really care what you think i don't care what anyone really thinks I'm not doing anything for#attention i am just using this as my diary and i post a silly lil selfie when i go to therapy but clearly you don't know that#i literally am around children all day i know what is like to be a mom what do you know tho?#i actually REALLY hate when people compliment me when I'm just saying i don't like something is really annoying I'm just being polite#but you think you know everything and love to ride my dick so#anyway have a great day even tho you're really pathetic and i should know cause I'm also really pathetic#also can't spell 🫵 think you said something important 🫵
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I wish there was more space given for fat people to talk about their own personal experiences of struggling with body dysmorphia without fearing the body positivity community is gonna vilify them for it
#this isn't about encouraging self hate#it's about being free to open up about how body positivity is really fucking hard#and sometimes non existent for yourself#without being decreed fatphobic for it#feelings about urself does not equal feelings about other people like cmon#and expecting people to just pretend those feelings away and to just get over it and love yourself--#--just results in those feelings getting bottled up inside and never actually addressed healthily so you can genuinely grow away from them#i would love to not hate my body but treating all lack of self confidence in fat people as a moral failing--#--literally has only ever made me hate myself and my body more#like if I hate my body it must be because I'm Bad right? i must be fatphobic and a moral failure right??#instead of the more logical conclusion of no I just have body dysmorphia and that is not the sort of thing you easily will away--#--with good vibes
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you are legitimately built like the penguin from the 1992 film batman returns
Tell me you’re fatphobic as fuck without telling me you’re fatphobic as fuck
#also not you going out of your way to say this anonymously to a stranger online#like you must really hate yourself
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Want to actually kill myself :-/
#not really 😿#i just. i feel that i am making a mistake 😿 and it's horrible because the mistake i am making is the only thing i have ever really wanted#its fucking worth it i guess. is it? apparently love is worth it even when it makes you want to die#maybe love shouldnt make you want to die. maybe its me thats broken. if its good and beautiful i dont deserve it but if it's hard and ugly#then you just hate yourself because it must be your fault and you must be able to do better#and i just love her so much but what if she cant get better. i know she can. but what if i cant save her#what if i end up so much more doomed for my efforts. what if i spend another two years trying to keep my head above water trying to solve#unsolvable problems and fighting a loosing battle against someone who?#should be my partner my friend my equal#trying to fill someones head with love and goodness in vein because they wont let go or loosen their grip on their trauma responses#will i really be able to live the life i want to live if i keep promising her the world. what if i just fail once again for thebillionthtime#what if i make her hate me what if im still not enough.i am setting myself up to get my heart broken in themost spectacular worldending way.#and its actually horrifying. i want to live under a fucking rock forever and never make any fri3nds ever again because maybe I'll finally#feel safe that way. yay#who up catastrophising with me tonight. yippee. lets all hold hands so tight
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JK could've performed the song without slut-shaming lyrics, but these lyrical choices are something he approved of and that says something about his beliefs. As do some fans' mental gymnastics going into defending "thot" and "whoring" as progressive (?!?) lyrical choices. Spaaare me.
Women's safety and self respect >>>>> a male idol's right to use "thot" in a song. I'll always choose women and girls over Some Guy and it's not even a tough choice.
I don't care if JK and Harlow sing about consensually gangbanging 100 women in human centipede formation, they can sing about it without using misogynistic slurs.
#a fun song ruined by a shitty rap break and jk chose... harlow for this song??? intentionally???#jungkook#jungkook 3d#misogyny#if you try to gaslight me about these lyrics again i'll become a full anti just try me#i've been a jk fan for 5 years but if i hear another 'i mean this is just how men ARE they can't help it'#you must hate jk if you really think he can't do better or that a grown man can't tolerate feedback#there's nothing sexually liberated about calling yourself or women wh*res just stop#i resent how obsessive harlow simps will get on anyone's case who doesn't like this song he can freaking take it#there's a serious internalized misogyny in a fandom that can't be critical of ONE SONG by their oppas#sorry about the sudden wank mutuals
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I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year
#idk y but i suddenly realized that im an adult and could potentially buy the goth bullshit at hot topic#that 12yo me desperately desired. and then i was like oof but i like the contrast of color#like i think i really wanted to be somewhere between scene and emo really#but thrn i was looking at scene outfits and im like woof. this is the kinda cringe i love. all thr fucking patterns. all thr colors#i even have thr 1nvader z1m graphic tees in my closet... i think#i just dont kno how tf to do that to my hair and also i dont have actual makeup lol#but i must be a scene kid for Halloween. i want the most ostentatious outfit. oh god im gonna have to go to the mall#i havent been to the mall in ages. i need to go to hot topic and claires. is pacsun still around? do they still sell skinny jeans?#i feel like everythings all bland now in stores. where tf do i go to get early 00s and 2010s clothes#good will maybe??? oh god. its like 3.30am and my hormones r all fucked up so i was experiencing like the type of fear you have when youre#like a little kid in a dark room by yourself. its not fair. when my hormones shift it goes: im so depressed to im full of rage ill kill u#to the world is so fucking beautiful im gonna kill myself. like in a not worrying way idk how else to express the feeling. to the type of#unhinged and undirected fear that belongs to a kid who doesnt kno shit. also lil heart palpitations and sometimes feeling like im gonna die#its bullshit. y does my body hate me? ugh. at least ive got a Halloween plan now#unrelated#oh god. dont let me cut myself bangs. im trying to grow my hair back out lol. im an emo with no bangs
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Two years later and on the other side of major depressive disorder, I don't remember ever crying for maandag 11:03 like I did today.
#like don't get ne wrong I've cried a lot like A LOT watching Sobbe.. an insane unhealthy amount even#over the littlest of things but#not over maandag 11:03 as far as I can remember#Sander breaking down.. his broken cries in Robbe's arms and I couldn't hold my tears anymore#somehow I relate to Sander much more much much more than I went on the hiatus and it's funny because I already related to Sander more#than Robbe before as well#I just felt what he must feel on a very deep and personal level... to think he can never be loved or be treated normally again to always#feel like a victim of his illness a shadow that's lurking always and can anytime overshadow what little happiness or normalcy he tries to#reach and then have someone to tell you it's okay I'm here you're safe you're good we can and we will get through this together ...#to feel anchored and not like you'd fly off any time to have the stability of a loving caring person even through the worst of times when#you hate yourself#oooffff#a crying mess it made me#the way Sander trying to be strong otherwise but breaks down as soon as he realises Robbe really loves him he's really staying ...#not the cruelty it's the tenderness that makes you break down#just how horrible Britt must have been to him nobody deserves that shit#wtfock#don't know if I want to tag this but I'm keeping travk of my posts this way so anyway tag is bereft of people of sorts
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Tumblr's recent ai scraping posts and admitting that they'll partner with programs to scrape users, manually having to opt out of it on each individual blog just to try to dodge it, and general woes have really put a damper on how much I want to draw and share. Easy to feel hopeless in these times right with just about everything happening in and around the world but I settled that I'll still share things here for the time being and until tumblr really becomes completely unwelcome to artists.
#not art#text#been just so defeated by it all lately and my will to draw and share it with others has tanked significantly#I just want to meet others who love the things I do and to make meaningful art of things I enjoy#as opposed to having everything I've ever done scraped by someone on the internet who hates artists and wants a shitty generative image#if you really want to put yourself down (I don't recommend it) go to a pro generative ai reddit and see how much they actually hate artists#It's insane over there how they can talk about art and artists like its trash and yet they cling and defend to what they're doing so much#want to use and abuse us but don't want us to stop yet won't respect us? wack#anyhow if you've gotten this far reading me ramble I hope you are living well and surviving these times#the world is suffering right now and my little art troubles are nothing compared to the magnitude of human suffering happening#but we must keep going
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