#You gotta earn that trust motherfucker

[secretcherimaybe]

[shiratamahatsumiyo]

Guys, being Leona's sibling and dating Malleus and then coming out gay to him be like--

Sibling! Kingscholar: "Leona... I gotta talk to you about something."

Leona: "The hell do you want?"

Sibling! Kingscholar, pulls Malleus out of nowhere and holding his hand: "Me and Tsunotarou are dating!"

Leona: "...... Sibling! Kingscholar, what the fuck?"

Sibling! Kingscholar: " I-i know that we're both guys and--"

Leona: "WHY HIM?!"

Sibling! Kingscholar: "...what?"

Leona: "Out of all the bastards in this sevens-be-damned school, you picked this ugliest, scaliest, and prissy lizard-looking piece of shit??"

Sibling! Kingscholar: "So you're not angry that I'm gay?"

Leona: "ANGRY? IM HELLA PISSED! WHY NOT THE GUYS FROM SAVANACLA--actually, nah they're shit too.... What about Ruggie? There's Jack???"

Sibling! Kingscholar: "Leona-nii!"

Leona: "I'm just saying--"

Malleus: "And I'm right here..."

Leona: "Shut it, lizard. Ok, last chance to earn back my trust. Who tops?"

Sibling! Kingscholar: ".........⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄"

Malleus: "...........⁠(⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)"

Leona: ".....We are siblings no more."

Sibling! Kingscholar: "W-we're still--"

Leona: "First the throne, then the Spelldrive trophies, and now YOU?! Just how many times do I have to lose to assholes like him?! Malleus-motherfucking-lizard-Draconia is railing MY SIBLING. That's it, I'm disowning you, you fucking disappointment. I'm out!"

Malleus: "..... I'll take that as a sign of approval to court Sibling! Kingscholar."

Sibling! Kingscholar: *sigh*

[children-of-epiales]

On Edge

     Of the few things Reaper allowed herself to take pride in, being a member of the Nightmare private military company took first place and kept it. 

Only after a couple missions with Nightmare did her insecurities loosen their chains on her mind; it didn’t take long for her to go with the motions, to nod when she agreed with a plan and to expect helpful feedback when she asked about something, to be able to trust her team and know they trusted her. 

This wasn’t real. She volunteered to go undercover, to help the team like usual. 

So why couldn’t she avoid the old feelings-the negative feelings she knew didn’t mean anything to her-from returning? 

With that came the loneliness, the isolation when the Canadian worked with and among so many people; it didn’t matter how hard she tried to hide it from the others, how she snapped at them when they reached out to her. 

Reaper had been sucked so deep into the darkness that she forgot the most simple rule of going undercover: don’t draw attention to yourself.

It all happened too quickly, she didn’t have enough time to correct herself: the team left the plane, made a beeline for their target's location and engaged. Reaper followed Hutch around back, entered after he breached the building through a door and covered her while she searched for the target. She heard shouting and turned, rifle up at eye level, and shot at the last person she could have shot at.

 It was another day with Nightmare, she desperately tried to convince herself prior to leaving. It could have been just another day, considering the job; her new teammates made the difference, cutthroat as they were. But that wasn’t a good excuse.

“ Fanculo!” Stiletto shouted, her arm placed in front of her head just a second too late, the bullets having lodged themselves into the wall above her beret. Her arm fell and Reaper stared into the enraged Italian’s eyes. “ What the fuck are you doing?! Cazzo cagna-get outta my way!” 

She shoved the brunette aside with one arm, forcing her way out of the room. That no one had Stiletto’s back covered happened to be a tiny bit of fortune for Reaper. 

The team succeeded without her help, so she boarded the plane first when it landed and found a place to hide as close to the cockpit as possible. 

Stiletto’s voice stood out among those that exchanged words on the way back to the base; the way it sounded coming from her, Reaper mistook her for a hostile. The Canadian knew she didn’t even get a glimpse of the older operative before firing at her, that her nerves got the best of her. 

She just didn’t have the strength to speak up nor did she care to at the moment, which meant the situation would remain whatever Stiletto swore it was.

Usually Reaper could take a hit or two: words behind her back or, nowadays, a fist or a knife in her face. It didn’t occur to her how outnumbered she really was until Coyote got her alone in the hallway, his teeth bared in frustration. “ What was all that about keeping my mouth shut huh?” The French Canadian hisses at her, earning him a slap across the face in return.

“ It still stands, motherfucker.” Reaper bites at him.

Coyote glowers at the brunette, his lips pressed tightly together. “ It was an accident,” Reaper continues through her teeth. Her jaw soon loosens on its own and she lowers her voice. “ I was on edge-I don’t know why-and I fucking shot as soon as I saw that someone was there. I didn’t know it was her, Jody.” 

“ But she already opened her mouth to everyone-I know she’s pissed but she didn’t give me a chance to explain!” The Canadian throws her arms away from her sides, her eyes growing as Coyote’s narrows. 

“ So you didn’t say anything? Will you say anything-you gotta say something, Rouge. They’ll think twice about sending you out again if you don’t.” Coyote reminds her. The KorTac private military company didn’t allow mistakes, let alone give their soldiers slack for screwing up when they were stressed out. 

Reaper lets out a low ‘hmph’. “ Oh yeah, Moron! Such a great idea, let me go tell them about my mental health and-” 

The brunette cuts herself off, her arms folding to put more distance between her and her friend, her enraged stare downcast. 

Coyote’s shoulders slump in response. The conversation’s over for the time being. 

Reaper keeps herself busy by training; practicing at the shooting range, stretching, working on cardio, lifting, anything she can do to improve her physical condition so she doesn’t feel the need to beat herself up for nearly putting a bullet in a teammate’s head. 

A teammate that didn’t care for her before, probably despises her now, and there’s nothing Reaper can do to fix it-

“ Trying to make up for something?” Reaper’s head snaps up, eyes set into a nasty glower that instantly falls apart the moment her eyes meet Stiletto’s blue ones; she can’t help the awe that washes over her every time she’s able to see the older operator’s face. 

The Canadian is not religious, hasn’t been in a very long time, yet she fights with the urge to fall to her knees before Stiletto, her judgment personified, and beg her for forgiveness for every sin Reaper’s ever committed. 

“ Always.” Reaper answers instead. 

A silence falls between and around the women. She watches Stiletto take a seat on a bench close to her and rest her arms on her knees, and isn’t prepared when the Italian launches herself at her. 

Reaper moves fast too, just not fast enough, and finds herself pinned by an unforgiving hand on her throat. Her eyes flicker to a knife-the stiletto knife-being whipped open. She grabs onto Stiletto’s wrist before the edge of it can find her jugular. 

“ Cazzo idiota! I could have-I should have shot you right then!” The Italian spits at Reaper. 

“ You fucking should have! Augh-Instead you chose to cover your face-” Teeth find Stilettos forearm, during the time Stiletto tries to tear her arm away, the Canadian uses her knee to give herself some space and moves without thinking. 

She was so used to seeing the deadly woman from afar or above her, never did Reaper imagine she would be on top of Stiletto. Even if it was to keep herself from getting stabbed. 

Stiletto spits in her face, her gloved fingers are buried in Reaper’s thigh. “ What’s your problem?!” Reaper screams at her, “ I’m motherfucking sorry, okay!” Everything suddenly seems to settle, except for when Stiletto pushes her away and shuts her knife; it doesn’t go unnoticed how shocked she is, somewhere in her stare there’s fear too. 

“ I’m sorry-” Reaper repeats, her arms extended defensively “-it was my mistake, but-but what the fuck?! It was an honest mistake, I don’t think I deserve to be killed for it!”

Her brows raise when the Italian stands. “ Don’t let it happen again.” Stiletto responds dryly. The words come out so fast, she doesn’t leave the younger operator any time to acknowledge it, her boots on the floor outshine any other noise in the room as she leaves. 

Something upset her, they both know. 

If only Stiletto knew she wasn’t alone.

Translation(s):

Fanculo- Fuck you (short form)

Cazzo cagna- Fucking bitch

Cazzo idiota- Fucking idiot

(yes Reaper's getting cursed out in this)

Tagging: @poisonedtruth @shegetsburned @voidika @scentedcandleibex

[cosmicangst]

olympia soiree review after 100%-ing the game... general consensus of my brain worms is that the premise, its themes, the japanese cultural context, and the lore are its biggest strengths. but it needed a heavy editing hand. writers gotta trust their audience more bc we really do not need flashbacks to a thing that happened three minutes ago. it just felt like some great solid bits that were bundled up way too much w superfluous padding. as such the pace suffered and what should have been devoted to developing further why byakuya and her li would fall in love is spent on filler and revisiting info we already know

the spiciness and the sheer romance of the cg scenes are so good but sometimes it was whiplash when byakuya and her li were suddenly in soulmates mode. the individual scenes were chefs kiss but the relationship development overall felt less earned which made those scenes less impactful than it should have been. i know it's just the two weeks but cmon ive been sold less believable absurdity in less that time

anyway in terms of each route:

himuka - tbh he really didn't leave a lasting impression besides his place in the lore. my fave thing is his character design and i spent most of the route pretending this was a yuri game lmao i think his was the one where i rly questioned why byakuya fell so hard and fast (and she does that in every route but his especially i was like.... but why are you suddenly so ride or die??)

tokisada - cute! but im not typically a fan of the little bro type. when he talks about walking into the ocean tho i did cry 😢 his bad ending main menu speech is so good. i love it when men break down despondently 😌

yosuga - loved him up to That Scene. i love possessive dubcon stuff in otome but this was a character who was established to be someone who prioritizes consent and safety for the female citizens of yomu so it just seemed so out of left field and uncharacteristic. did enjoy the hades and persephone analogue vibes tho

riku - such a fan of this nerd. for some reason i felt his angst more than i did the others perhaps bc his biggest obstacle in returning byakuya's love was his own self. rly related to his desire and anxiety to live up to other people's standards and his general ineptness in romantic situations. bc it often ends w byakuya being the most forward one which i always enjoy whenever the mcs take the lead in otome. had fun w him but he and byakuya felt the most whiplash along w himuka

kuroba - enjoyed his personality for most of the game and was honestly thrown off that he ended up being the most yandere of the bunch. which is interesting considering the reveal of who his birth father actually is. was not a huge fan of how they treated sexual assault in this route. like i intellectually understand why the good ending is like that but they rly should have let that motherfucker choke. handkerchief callback was adorable tho

akaza - BIG FAN of bbq dad. his was the one i was looking forward to the most bc he was the one byakuya was the most resistant in giving a chance. and im just a sucker for decent men who give off a bad first impression bc they take things too seriously. i love his insistence of asserting himself and byakuya as singular entities and not bound by the fate of their roles which is a deft way of tying the relationship with the game's overall themes. his route felt the most believable in selling why they're compatible and why they fell in love because they went to intentional multiple dates where it truly felt like they were learning about each other. i would have liked some room to explore his faults and fears outside of byakuya but i enjoyed his route the most so i can't complain too much

other scattered thoughts

the short stories are great esp the memoirs by the supporting cast. made me appreciate them more bc it gave them nuance and complexity

SHURA 🥰 complicated women my loves. wish tho that her bitterness against byakuya wasn't also rooted in her infertility. not that the motivation is inherently bad but as one of the few female dynamics byakuya has it isn't great

hairi devolving to villainy was understandable but disappointing. wish tho that there was one character based in yomu who wasn't on byakuya's side but wasn't also a villain either.

douma reveal just doesn't sit right in the end like they're trying to establish this grumpy dad vibe when douma spent the majority of the games not just being grumpy and stoic but actively being an asshole and almost resentful

kanan i was generally annoyed with until i got through the bad endings and read his memoir and i did a complete 180 on him. earnestly really enjoy this asshole now and i find him fascinating as a villain

tsukuyomi's memoir is my absolute fave "now i water the cherry tree" just the existential resignation of it all....

don't have much thoughts on the obvious allegory and how it explores oppression as a theme namely bc im missing the cultural and historical framework w my largely western lens and i think context here is absolutely imperative to do this justice

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

holy cow that sc old guard au is so good!! 😍 pls continue it if ever you'd be so inclined,,, I like the idea of lena finding family with the old guard and navigating her relationship with kara and the superfriends in canon 😊

Okay, then how about we think about the fact that when Lena and Kara finally exchange secrets, Kara is eloquent and apologetic and hopeful, giving a beautiful speech that ends with "I'm Supergirl."

And Lena's response is "I'm dead."

Cue season finale break.

But then we immediately pick back up with "Except I'm not. I mean, I'm alive by any measure known to science, I've checked. But that doesn't change the fact that the night before I moved to National City I woke up in a warehouse in Metropolis and spat two bullets out of my skull."

Kara just stares at her like whaaaaat is happening.

"And those people, the ones in the lobby the other day, I think they're like me, because I've been having dreams about them ever since it happened and I think they're old. Like older than time old and honestly I've been trying not to think about it because the idea of living that long terrifies me and--"

Lena cuts off when Kara wraps her in a hug, squeezing her tight. After her momentary shock, Lena relaxes, abandoning her train of thought in favor of melting into Kara's embrace.

"It's okay," Kara promises. "We'll figure it out. Together."

Lena gladly accepts the fact that she doesn't have to go through her journey of immortality alone. And it's not just the superfriends she has to lean on, but also her new family of fellow immortals who have gone through the exact same thing she has.

She doesn't have to go into hiding like Nile did. So far, no one but Corben knows her secret, so the risk of being identified and studied by the government is minimal. So the focus of everyone's work becomes keeping it that way.

Andy and the rest of the old guard set themselves up as Lena's new ace security team. Andy is the brains and occasional sniper, but stays out of the direct line of fire. Nicky and Joe are the public facing bodyguards who go with her everywhere, while Nile is the last line of defense, posing as Lena's assistant.

The two groups don't really mesh at first, despite the superfriends' curiosities. The old guard has been too long alone and too long with death to know what to do with the superfriends' youthful exuberance. But eventually their mutual attachment to Lena brings them into each others orbits.

Joe and Nicky adapt first. They come to love game nights, and Nia adores their blatant love for each other. Nile is the closest to them in age, but game nights and giggly girl parties isn't exactly her scene. She and Lena share plenty of scotch though, on the nights when they're alone in the office and have nothing to do but talk.

Andy remains an enigma. To her, the people around them are all children, and she can't truly connect with them the way she does with the old guard. The only member of the superfriends she can connect with is Supergirl. 

There's something about being the last of her world that makes Supergirl relatable, something about being earth's mightiest hero that creates the same invisible wall between her and her closest friends that Andy recognizes.

And Lena. Lena suddenly finds herself in a drastically changing landscape. Her apartment  fills first with bodies and go bags, as the old guard camps in her living room and spare bedroom. Then slowly Nicky's drawings find their way to the walls, and knick knacks come to rest on every available surface. Weapons fill every nook and cranny, a fact Lena grows more accustomed to as Nile starts training her.

She's familiar with guns and can hold her own in hand to hand combat under normal circumstances, but it doesn't flow through her muscles like it does with the old guard. Each of them but Andy teaches them their own specialty, relentlessly, until Lena feels her body change, her muscles coiled and ready to explode into motion using nothing but reflexive memory.

When Lena asks about training with Andy, the others laugh.

"Give it another century," Joe says, smiling warmly, "then ask."

But Lena picks up fighting as quickly as she does everything else. Sparring with Nicky and Joe is the most fun for Lena-- she surprises them with her skill in bladed weapons, courtesy of her near-olympic level proficiency in fencing. But even with them Lena can barely hold a candle at first. She's good, better than good, but Joe and Nicky don't fight to earn points. They fight to kill. They move with their whole bodies, with power and momentum behind every strike.

Lena does all she can to catch up. She loves a challenge, and this is a matter of keeping her life the way it is-- something she'll cling to until it's ripped out of her warm, undying fingers. She wants to keep L-Corp, she wants to keep game nights, and movie nights, and... she wants to keep Kara.

And Kara.... Kara supports Lena through it all, but the truth of Lena's new reality doesn't really sink in until one day she and the old guard don't move fast enough. They're lucky, in the sense there's no one else to see the bullet that rips through Lena's sternum and blasts out of her back, taking chunks of flesh and bone with it.

Kara's heart stops, barely hears the gasping wheeze as Andy puts a knife through the shooters windpipe. All she can see is Lena, unmistakably dead.

But then Lena blinks into a grimace, a curse rising to her pinkening lips.

"Fuck."

Then, "Ow. Motherfucker."

Nile pulls Lena to her feet, putting her gun back in Lena's palm. Lena deftly checks the chamber and nods the okay, and Nile moves on. Only then does Lena see Kara standing stock still, eyes wide and chest locked against a burgeoning panic attack.

"Hey," Lena says softly. She takes Kara's hand in hers, letting Kara feel the warmth of her skin, the pulse of her veins. She even pulls her blouse aside so Kara can see the flesh knitting itself back together. "I'm okay. See?"

There's a word for what Lena is, but Kara's pretty sure it isn't okay. Still, its enough to get Kara's legs to move again. With a nod, she bounces on the balls of her feet then launches into the air, speeding through the remaining gunmen and piling them aside unconscious for the police to deal with later.

"Still gotta get used to that," Andy mutters under her breath, coming to check on Lena. "You good?"

Lena nods again. "You were supposed to stay in the van."

"Fuck off with that garbage." Andy glares at her. "One of my team goes down, I'm going to make sure they get back up."

Lena smiles. It feels different, to be so readily accepted into the guard. Even with the Superfriends, she's had to work to earn their trust, and slowly eased her way into becoming one of the group. With Andy and her people, from the moment they saw each other there's never been any other thought. Lena was theirs, and they were hers.

"Let's get going."

[imemeyoumemeweallmeme]

Quotes from “Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier” as starters

But today could be the day I finally make a difference!

Where are you off to today, you no good piece of shit?

You’ve got to dream a little harder!

It took you long enough, you shit-eating dog.

Oh, so you think you're better than me just because you can read?

Just try to keep your fat face out of that motherfucking book.

Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?

Oh, ___, sometimes I feel you're my only friend in this world.

Today, things got a little out of hand and a lot of good people are dead.

Did we get the loaf of bread back?

Why do you even bother visiting us commoners anymore, you aristocat?

I sure hope you haven't goofed this one up, ___.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, look at this mess. Dead bodies in the street.

Did you know in this barbaric country they only give you money if you work?

Who would seek employment when life offers such enjoyment?

You're only in trouble if you get caught.

My father says that you must marry me now, or I'll bring dishonor to my entire family.

I can't give up on my dreams and settle down just 'cause your dad's being a dick.

‘Cause you stole my daughter’s hymen!

That’s completely fair, but in my defense - dude, your daughter’s hot.

My ass cheeks…they're hanging out.

And what's this? Blood. Blood on my ass cheeks. Tell me, ___, how the fuck did it get there?

Oh I am grateful for your tiny ass, ___!

This really is an act of war, ___!

Do not feed me shit and call it couscous, ___!

Well an hour free is better than a lifetime in a cage. Being fed and pampered and cleaned up after. What kind of a life is that?

When are you going to learn that your actions have consequences?

One of these days, you're going to learn that life isn't about dreams coming true. It's a series of compromises and disappointment.

That's supporting a corrupt system. You're a part of the problem.

I want everything, and more!

My secret is simple, really. Anyone could do it. I just follow the golden rule!

Always treat others like sisters and brothers and they’ll do the same for you.

I get back what I give!

My hunger blinded me and forced me to act like an animal.

But we're not animals. We're gifted with minds to reason and hearts to love!

I think that's enough fun for one day, eh, ___?

Well, we have our own golden rule here. Whoever has the gold…makes the rules.

The gold that my neighbor earns through his labor is gold I’ll never see.

So keep your mouth shut and your palm open, and you may just get...filthy stinkin' rich!

You could start by telling me your name.

I suppose this will be the end of me.

I am a servant to the people, and therefore your servant.

Magic does nothing if not touch the soul.

I want to know your story, I want to know your past, I want to know your future too.

Fill my days and nights with the tale of you.

I never cared for stories until you entered mine.

Let’s make ours the story with no end.

Their mouths aren't fit to hold a donkey's shit.

Many years ago, I took my finger…and I pushed in my penis…and it hasn't come out since.

A very wise and enthralling tale, ___. We can all learn a lesson from it, I expect.

Where's my opium?

Speak now, ___! And don't fuck it up!

Well, maybe I have a new purpose now.

That is what your story is about.

I wish I had the power to rewrite this tale.

Never stop wishing it, ___.

We will be reunited one day, and unlock wonders beyond your wildest dreams!

After all, I must be pretty great, if you believed in me.

I only hope you haven't fallen prey to some sex-crazed ruffian!

Right this way, babe.

This is so unfair! Poor people need slaves just as much as rich people do! Maybe even a little bit more.

Of course it's a free thinker like who's struggling to get by. And all because of our totally corrupt class system.

I hate the class system. That's why I said, "Fuck it, I'm never going to school again."

So, you abandoned everything, to be free? That is so brave.

Brave? Me? Yeah.

All my parents ever did was support me. Give me a place to stay, tell me they loved me, no matter what. They were really bad parents.

How's a thirty-three-year-old kid supposed to know how to survive on his own?

But that is not fair! ___’s a victim of circumstance!

Don't look at me like that! These are my orders from ___.

Wait, wait, what? You slit people's throats? I didn't tell you to kill anyone! This is awful!

___, no. That is just an expression.

I'm gonna have so much gold I could swim through it! Like a pool. Do you think people can really do that?

Once I get my mind set on a chick, I just can't move on until I get this nut out.

I can’t wait to be a rich dude!

Stealing is so much easier when you’ve got already tons of gold.

We’ll get our happy ending tonight.

We weren't sure if you were ever coming back, ___.

Everyone, look at my ass!

You received the manhood of a badger?

Those are stretch marks, they happen.

Oh, I see! You received the manhood of a tiger!

Did you hear that, lads? ___ made love to a tiger!

Tiger fucker! Tiger fucker! Tiger fucker!

I DID NOT FUCK A TIGER!!!

Am I not a thing of beauty? Don't you want a piece of this? Wouldn't you gladly give up all of your worldly possessions just to greet me when I come home from a one-sided massacre, and bathe my sweaty, bloody body with your tongue?

Oh…you. Aren't you busy ruining my life?

I noticed you weren't at dinner, but I saw you tried to poison my wine. Usually when you do that, it means you want to talk. What's up, are you mad at me?

You ripped my heart out and smashed it into a million pieces. And don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.

He/she/they was perfect! Like if you cobbled together all the best features from all the best guys/girls/people, and then gave them a tragic backstory! It's like he/she/they was designed specifically to appeal to me.

I knew everything about him/her/them! He/she/they was my soul mate! My -- my -- God, I am freaking out, what was his/her/their name?

Believe it or not, I care about you.

I don't want to be prepared. I want to expect the unexpected.

Look, you're young. You don't exactly get how things work yet. And, while I don't appreciate any of your ideas, I do appreciate the fact that you HAVE ideas. Maybe one day you'll have some GOOD ones.

Sexual predators the lot of them! Their tactics target vulnerable, young girls, and build up false senses of trust and then isolate them on magic rides of sorts. And when the moment is right, they whip it out. You know... their songs.

Be wary of young boys who whip out their songs. A song is often a prelude to a dick.

A song is a dick in sheep's clothing.

Can't you see I'm trying to impart a life lesson?

I feel like you only come to see me when there's bad news.

I counted thirteen dead before the peacocks got to them.

How the fuck did you know it was me?

Because it IS you, you're just wearing different clothes.

Wow. Pretty AND smart. You're the whole shebang, babe.

Everything I told you the other night was a lie. Don't you trust me?

Ugh. Oh no. Okay, um, now I'm kind of feeling like everything about you that was attractive to me before isn't really there anymore.

No! No, I'm just being indecisive. It's still you.

I've just got to get back on that high that I was on before.

Look into my eyes and talk to me some more about the world's injustice!

Sure. Just let me roll this blunt first.

But I don't want her/him/they to love me. I just want her/him/them to fuck me.

You guys know there's a way to get people to think about sex without even talking about sex? You just gotta do it subliminally.

Hey, babe, it's such a beautiful night -- take off your clothes.

But…let me ask you this: is your penis an innie or an outie?

___ explained everything to me. He/she/they was just pretending to be a ___. For fun.

I bet the ___ is under that ___ sized hat!

Bullshit! Why would I pretend to be a ___? Just to get laid? That's not me.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Why are you picking on me, ___? Afraid I'll reveal your little secret?

Whoa! I thought I was just bullshitting you guys!

What made me think that I could get away with such a plot?

How does the golden rule apply in such a situation?

Whichever road I take, I will only encourage someone’s wrath!

‘Til now I’ve always traveled down the straight and narrow path.

But which way do I turn when the road’s become so... so... twisted?

You think you know me, as others think they know you, but there are two sides to every story.

I was prepared for anything, except for what ensued.

They weren't ready for my ideas.

Fortune favors the beautiful.

My only crime was love.

But the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes what it wants, is twisted.

I only wished to reclaim what was mine!

I only wished for equal rights for all!

I only wished to save her/him/them!

I only wished to be invited to the party!

I only wished to improve relations between the races!

I only wished to teach ___ responsibility… so he/she/they wouldn’t end up like me!

I only wished to give the people a voice… To help the miserable, lonely, and depressed!

I never knew my father!

It's an unfortunate situation…But you do have a choice.

What remains of a man when that man is dead and gone?

Why protect my reputation? I’m a dead man/woman/person either way!

How will they tell my story? How will they tell my tale? Will anybody even care?

Is it nobler in the mind to be well-liked but ineffectual, or moral but maligned?

If I hide to save my life, what has my life been for?

The road ahead may twist, but I will never swerve!

I’ll give them all the unsung antihero they deserve!

I’ve nothing left to lose, to the only path to choose is twisted.

So let them twist my words, let the people scorn me.

Who cares if no one will ever mourn me?

Let them bury the side of the story that they’ll never learn!

Let the truth be twisted!

Let my life be twisted!

I’ll be twisted, it’s my turn!

Your armies have abandoned you. Your ruling class is corrupt and we have come to put an end to your tyrannical rule!

You'll never end our tyrannical rule!

It is I who will be doing the fucking today.

It appears that ___ has cold feet!

Yes I am talking to you! Now get your ass over here!

I've got to become a sorcerer! Can you do that?

Yes, I do feel lucky. I've got a ___! But I think he might be a fucking moron!

My fuse is about this long right now.

You either need to back me the fuck up, or shut the fuck up. Got it?

And what's the last thing you wanna do before that happens? Take off your clothes. That's right, have sex! Hurry, take off your clothes.

I'm not going to take off my clothes in the middle of a battle!

My skin is melting!

Would you stop acting like an asshole for one minute?

I'm not a tease. I'm just…not a freak.

You're making sex seem gross and lame.

You got that, ___? We are not a thing anymore, okay?

We're just having our first fight. Maybe after some make up sex…

You're the guy who killed my parents. Where have you been?

Okay, Jesus Christ, I don't know what's going on here.

That's the trick! You just really have to believe your own bullshit!

It takes someone who believes they can change the world to actually do it.

This isn't fair! Life is supposed to be fair!

Your youth and your passion, and yes, your naïveté -- these give you power.

When I was your age, I thought I could accomplish anything I ever wanted and more! But I didn't. Perhaps no one does. But you have to think you will or you won't have the strength to try.

Maybe you won't make any big changes, but a few little ones that pave the way for the next generation. And then they'll make small changes and leave it to the next and the next! It's a bit like a carousel of progress. Always spinning towards a great, big, beautiful tomorrow. And tomorrow is just a dream away.

But what if tomorrow never comes?

Tomorrow always comes. Even if it comes without us.

What will I do without you to guide me? When I am lost, where will I turn?

You remind me of someone I knew long ago.

You’re the one who put it there -- the power in me.

The power to love one another is the greatest power of all.

No matter where life leads us, we’ll never be apart.

Through thick and thin, success or ruin, I’ll carry you in my heart.

I will treasure forever what the world will never see.

You are kind, and that’s enough.

I wish you didn’t have to go when our story’s just begun.

Then I wish you every happiness.

It was more money than I had ever seen. But I was able to count it.

And that's the end of the true story.

[gallavictorious]

Fic: Pressure

He is eleven and Sandy tells him keep still while she trims the hair on the side of his head with a look of outmost concentration on her face. He is seventeen and tells the wide-eyed kid before him that he'll cut his fucking tongue out if he tries to kiss him. He is twenty-three and wakes up to bright sunlight in his eyes and someone's arm draped over his waist.

Mickey, being touched. It's complicated.

---

He is six and he can't hold back the tears because his foot really hurts and he wants his mom to come pick him up and hug him tight until the pain passes, but his mom isn't there and his dad tells him to stop with his goddamn whining and just put some fucking ice on it. Milkovich men don't go running to their mama like some fucking faggot over a twisted ankle anyway, they man the fuck up and deal with it. Mickey's not a man yet, he doesn't think, but he's pretty sure he's supposed to be one soon, so he doesn’t stop crying but he limps to the freezer to get the ice.

He is nine and walking home from school with Joey when they spot Jimmy Linetti and Sarah Sengupta under a tree in the park. Jimmy is lying on his back with his head in Sarah's lap and she's putting flowers in his hair and they're laughing and there's something about the whole thing that makes Mickey feel... Well. He dunno. He feels something and he doesn't like it, it's weird and he needs it to go away. Joey follows him without question – does that already – as Mickey cuts across the grass and at first there's only curiosity in Jimmy's trusting eyes but it soon gives way to confusion and hurt and Sarah runs off and as Mickey aims a final kick at Jimmy's curled up body he feels a rush of something that, for a moment, is stronger than fear.

He is eleven and Sandy tells him keep still while she trims the hair on the side of his head with a look of outmost concentration on her face. He's not sure she knows what she's doing, and maybe he'll have to shave his whole fucking head once she's done, but whatever, she asked if she could and she's his favourite cousin, so yeah. Occasionally her fingers brush over his scalp; her arm rests on his shoulder for a moment; she grabs hold of his chin to tilt his head this way or that, and he bites his lip, hard, and he sits very, very still and doesn't make a sound.

He is still eleven and Stephen isn't exactly a friend but they've been in the same class for years and years and now there's a science project and Stephen's mom is having a party with her friends or something so they're at Mickey's house. Maybe they do try to study for the first half hour or so but it's a hot day and there's ice cream in the freezer and the walk there somehow turns into a race, with them jostling and pushing at each other, playfully, the way real friends would. They end up on the kitchen floor, rolling around, and they're laughing between insults when his dad walks in and tells them to cut it out because they look like a couple of queers tangled like that. Terry grabs a beer and disappears again. Mickey and Stephen climb to their feet in silence. They don't get ice cream and they don't talk to each other outside of class again.

He is thirteen and he's always been small for his age but it's never really been too much of a problem until now, until his first stint in juvie. The Milkovich name offers some protection and some measure of notoriety here but it offers challenges, too; people who want to see if he can live up to it; if he's as tough as his brothers and his cousins and his father. It's the second day and the boy behind him in the cafeteria line is several years older, almost twice his size, and he didn't actually push Mickey, just put his hand on his shoulder to get his attention, so maybe Mickey could let it go – except, no, he really fucking can't, can he? He ends up with bruised knuckles, the other kid in the ward, and they give him another month for it, but as he walks down the halls and no one moves to stand in his way, as people moves out of it instead, he knows that it was worth it.

He is fifteen and Iggy tells him that maybe he should go down to the clinic because the gash in his arm is pretty deep and he's not real good with stitches, man. Mickey swears at him and tells him to get the fuck on with and stop being such a pussy, it's just fucking stitches. It hurts like a motherfucker when the needle Iggy's boiled goes through his flesh, but he's had worse, and cursing helps with the pain, somewhat. Mickey can tell that Iggy's doing his best to be quick about it; doing his best to gentle when he's put the needle away and is wrapping up the wound. ”Jesus Christ,” Mickey snaps before chugging the beer Colin hands him, ”quit it with the goddamned concerned nurse shit and finish the fuck up.”

He is sixteen and Mandy is laughing as she breaks the embrace by poking her fingers into his ribs, hard. He laughs too as he moves to retaliate. They don't, like, hug a lot, because what kind of pussies go around hugging their fucking siblings all the time, but sure, if he's getting out of juvie or she's back from a summer with their aunt in Springfield, like now, they'll wrap their arms around each other and hold on tight for just a moment. Nothing weird about that. Mandy's his baby sister, and he's gotta look out for her, because that's what you do, you look out for your family. And girls, even tough ones like Mandy, they need hugs and that sort of shit, 'cause they have all these emotions or whatever. So yeah, he'll give her a fucking hug when they haven't seen each other in a few months, why the fuck wouldn't he, it's not like he's got anything to feel insecure about, so you can fuck right off if you have a problem with it.

He is seventeen and tells the wide-eyed kid before him that he'll cut his fucking tongue out if he tries to kiss him. Sex is one thing – even if it's the kind of sex his dad would kill him for having – 'cause that's just fucking urges, right? Goddamned biology or whatever. Everybody wants to get off. Kissing though... That's different. That's some fucking gay shit, and he doesn't fucking do gay shit,  and if Gallagher puts his hands over Mickey's when they bang in the Kash 'N' Grab back room a few weeks later and Mickey doesn't tell him to fuck right off, that's still just sex. It's just sex.

He is eighteen and he kisses Ian because fuck you, he ain't scared of shit, and Ian's lips are dry and soft and there's a jolt of something warm and thrilling that feels a bit like horniness and a bit like somethinge else entirely.

He is nineteen and he's been sharing a bed with Ian for weeks but it's the first time Ian's wrapped his arms around Mickey from behind, full-on spooning him, and Mickey stiffens for just a moment – but then he relaxes into the touch, into Ian's arms, because he's fucking earned this. Bought the right with blood and broken teeth and if the whole fucking world is gonna know he's gay anyway he might as well have Ian's chest pressed against his back, Ian's leg pushed between his, and the soft press of Ian's lips against his shoulder before they both close their eyes and drift off to sleep.

He is twenty-two and the inmate moonlighting as prison barber hums while he works. His hand is hot and heavy on Mickey's forehead and Mickey wants him to take it the fuck away because... because it's fucking hot and heavy, that's why. Makes him feel like he's got a grilled fucking pork chop pressed to his face, real sexy, and he's sent people to the infirmary for less. But there's another part of him that doesn't want the barber to take away shit, and well, he'd look pretty stupid throwing a fit over it anyway, so he keeps quiet. Returns for a haircut the next month, and the next.

He is twenty-three and wakes up to bright sunlight in his eyes and someone's arm draped over his waist. It takes him a moment to realize that the weight is wrong, the smell is wrong, this isn't Ian behind him. He starts then, violently; sits up to stare down at... Gabriél, who's staring back at him with a frown. ”¿Que pasa?” he murmurs, sleepy still, but Mickey doesn't answer because how fucking drunk was he last night if he didn't only let Gabriél come back to his place but let him fucking stay there once they were done banging? He likes the guy okay, sure, he's got a nice cock and is fine to hang out with for a few drinks before they fuck, but Jesus. ”Yeah, you need to get the hell out of here,” he says, reaching for his cigarettes and ignoring the hurt look in Gabriél's eyes. ”¡Sal! ¡Vamos!” That fucking faggot better not make an issue out of it, because Mickey is this close to punching him in the face. Maybe Gabriél senses that, because he leaves without another word. Mickey doesn't call him again.

He is twenty-five and his husband shifts slightly to accomodate him as Mickey plops down next to him on the couch. Ian's arm snakes around his waist, his hand settling on Mickey's stomach as Mickey leans back against him and turns his head slightly for a quick kiss. ”If you two gonna make out the whole time again I'm leaving,” Carl warns from the armchair. ”Yeah, no one cares, fuckhead,” Mickey replies, even as he is smiling, even as Ian assures his younger brother that they'll be good, fingers momentarily digging into Mickey's flesh, not quite painfully. On Mickey's other side Debbie's got Franny on her lap and Liam propped up against her legs on the floor, and the smell of beer mixes with the smell of popcorn and of Ian, and Mickey breathes it in, once, twice, as his left hand finds his husband's, their fingers intertwining, hands rising and falling with every rise and fall of Mickey's chest, slow and steady and sure.

---

I treated the timeline like Shameless treats the timeline: with extreme liberty.

This fic was partly inspired by this discussion and my current obsession with Mickey's complicated relationship to touch. If you want to read different, smuttier and less vignette-y takes on Mickey, touch, violence, and love, I heartily recommend sadwhale's love, let your hands be tender and Captain_Jowl's Almost there.

[asgardian--angels]

Recommend some good folk metal music please

:D i never thought i’d see the day when someone actually wants to know more about the music i listen to *cracks knuckles* my time has come

I apologize in advance for this novel. Feel free to skip to the recommended tracks lol.

Most folk metal comes out of northern Europe (Finland, heavily) though you can find it all over the world (Hu Band comes to mind but I mean, it’s on every continent). I am one of those people with like, a small handful of favorite bands that I listen to mercilessly so I am sure that I am only representing a miniscule percentage of what’s available out there. What’s great is that folk metal is much more versatile than many other genres in its sound; the essence of folk metal is simply to 1) utilize traditional (or rather, in the sense of a metal band, non-traditional) instruments such as violin, accordion, brass ensemble, bagpipes, what have you, and 2) have lyrical themes which revolve around regional folklore, mythology, cultural heritage, or place (what I particularly like is a frequent reverence and respect for nature). Other genres of metal (death, black) have the second element but not the first, and tend to incorporate darker overall tones and consistently harsher or lo-fi vocal styles and sounds. Folk metal can be a gateway genre into metal and can often be quite hopepunk (if you will). Because of these criteria, the actual sound of folk metal can range from sea shanties to ‘spooky walk in the midnight woods’ to scathing social commentary to SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SH

Basically you can find a range of styles within the genre that fit what you’re looking for, from those that have an orchestral, ballad feel, to things that border on death metal but have a hurdy-gurdy in there. There’s also a much higher percentage of female-led folk metal bands than other metal genres.

I’ll go through my top picks.

Turisas. These motherfuckers. My boys.

Turisas is based in Finland, but sing primarily in English (with occasional Finnish, a smidge of Greek and Swedish too). Four albums out to date, fifth in progress. Sound is absolutely fucking bonkers god tier shit, if I may say so myself. Every single song sounds like you’ve been transported into an Iliad metal musical. Heavy use of a full orchestra and choir, along with sick violin and accordion solos. Their lyrical themes focus heavily on ancient Greco-Roman and Viking military history - but before you raise any red flags, rest assured they’re liberal as fuck and trust me the tea is scalding when Mathias feels like making a Point about Then and Now. No seriously, I don’t know how to express the beauty and depth of his songwriting - Mathias Nygård is an incredibly talented composer, musician, and songwriter (nay, POET), and an extremely intelligent and down to earth guy. There are plenty of bands that are happy to write Viking songs about pillaging and glorious death in battle and all that (Alestorm comes to mind), those are a dime a dozen. Turisas makes history come to life in a way that transports you back in time and thrusts you into the living breathing world of the past. They deal with the horrors and tragedy of war from both sides, consequences and motivations, fears and pride and loss, home and family, despair and hope. They write songs about people, big and small, and their role in weaving the great tapestry of history. And the best part is that it’s informed - Mathias does his damn research and the tales he tells are rooted in fact. He brings them to life so we can experience what it must have been like for those real living people, with the goal of forcing us to confront our own selves in them. He’s a modern Homer, I shit you not. 

Did I mention there’s a song about pirates that’s actually really complex and nuanced, about how the hypocrisy and vile colonialist deeds of emperors makes them no different than the criminals they persecute?

Or that they do a badass cover of Rasputin?? yeah?????

Anyway enough gushing. Their second and third albums (The Varangian Way, Stand Up And Fight) are consecutive concept albums that follow the story of the Varangian Guard (the legendary Viking battalion that defended Alexander the Great) so the songs are actually chronologically linked to tell this epic tale. It’s a fucking listen, lads. The Varangian Way is probably my favorite album. But all their albums are top notch. 

My favorite songs: End of An Empire (this one comes for 2020 hard), Piece by Piece (AKA die fascists 2k20), Cursed Be Iron, Among Ancestors, Greek Fire, Miklagard Overture (you gotta earn this song tho, it’s the finale)

Good first listen picks/hits: Battle Metal, To Holmgard and Beyond, March of the Varangian Guard, Ten More Miles, One More

Finntroll. These other motherfuckers. My other boys.

Another big name in the Finnish folk metal scene. As you can see, their band revolves both aesthetically and musically around Scandinavian troll folklore. Yall weird elf-fuckers who like the really big ears? Here you go. Look at those ears. They’re good friends with Turisas. Both love their facepaint.

Musical style leans much more towards black and death metal influenced, with a heavier, fuller sound and growling vocals. But it’s an incredibly rich and creative aural tapestry, with layers of masterfully executed sound that’s a real delight to lose yourself in. Use of fiddle, brass, keyboard, accordion, and banjo, and strong folk melodies make their sound unmistakable and unique. They are known for their ‘black humppa’ beat, which basically gives the effect of feeling the primal need to stomp around loudly to their music. It’s great cardio. They also utilize orchestra in some great intro tracks. They know their stuff.

The majority of their songs are sung in Swedish (they do some English cover songs which are FANTASTIC holy SHIT), but don’t let that stop you. The mood and power and emotion of their music transcend language, and you can be sure the lyrics are about either trolls, witches, the dark woods, spirits, or something of that ilk. I think Swedish as a language works very well with this kind of music, and honestly having it in English would lose something. 

They have been around a long time and so have many albums, but I personally have only listened to the last three which feature their current singer, Mathias Lillmåns, whom I adore. Those albums are Nifelvind, Blodsvept, and their recent release Vredesvävd (that i’ve had on repeat since I got it three weeks ago). I’m sure their other ones are great too, I just can’t make a personal recommendation since I haven’t heard them. 

My favorite songs: Galgasång, Tiden Utan Tid, Ylaren, Skogsdotter, Två Ormar, Ett Norrskensdåd, Skövlarens Död

Good first listen picks/hits: Forsen, Under Bergets Rot, Häxbrygd, Trollhammaren (older song), Solsagan

I’ll go through these other ones a little faster, I haven’t heard quite as much from them but I do love them.

Korpiklaani. 

Great, full folk sound, utilizes a lot of folk instruments including some less commonly seen ones like hurdy gurdy. Songs are mostly in Finnish but plenty in English too. Jonne Järvelä has a really unique voice that grows on you, but it’s not for everyone. The band started as Sami folk, and Jonne is trained in Sami yoik singing, which makes an appearance in a few songs. I prefer the Finnish tracks, as a lot of the English ones are drinking songs lmao. But again, really well-executed music with layers of sound that keeps you hooked. I haven’t heard enough of their discography to really recommend enough to cover everything. 

Song picks: Minä Näin Vedessä Neidon, Metsälle, Ämmänhauta, Lempo

Moonsorrow.

Definitely a darker, black-folk band. Probably not a great pick if you aren’t accustomed to black metal - very long tracks (8-15 mins is standard), growling/shrieking vocals, a ‘thinner’ but encompassing wall of sound usual of black metal, but with the benefit of wonderfully entrancing dark folk elements and chants. It’s done really really well. Sung almost entirely in Finnish (apart from cover tracks). Lyrically, focuses on themes of Norse mythology, man vs nature and similar elements. Definitely one of those bands whose music gets you into a zone. I can lose serious time just putting a whole album on and letting my mind wander elsewhere. My favorite album is Jumalten Aika. 

Song picks: Ruttolehto Sis. Päivättömän Päivän Kansa (my fucking FAVORITE), Suden Tunti (well known hit), and also uhh check out their cover of Non Serviam cause it’s a fucking banger

Other bands that I like what I’ve heard but really can’t say much about them, whoops - Tyr (from the Faroe Islands, great stuff, Faroese is a baller language), Ensiferum, Nightwish (female-led).... I’m open to suggestions. Like I said, there are folk metal bands all over the world, and each is intrinsically linked to a sense of place and cultural identity that makes them unique. I’d love to hear about more tbh. 

[belovedmuerto]

not!fic

Every time I watch the end of CQL I decide I want something different. This time it’s this:

So Meng Yao doesn’t kill the Nie captain but leaves the Nie for reasons, saves LXC and goes undercover with the Wen blah blah blah. Sunshot goes the same. WWX still gives his brother his golden core, saves the Wen Remnants, etc.

Meanwhile, JGY is acknowledged by his dad and gets to know his older brother a bit. 

JZX in the meantime has perhaps figured out his shit a little better, realized he doesn’t want to do things the way his father does, adores his wife and new babe, really likes his clever ass new didi. Starts making quiet noises about finding his other half-sibs because he wants not much more than a big family and he figures if there’s one, there’s probably several more. His dad is gross. He is at heart a simple and lonely man.

JGY quickly realizes that no, actually he isn’t quite willing to do whatever it takes to earn his father’s approval? His father is actually a huge power hungry asshole not really any better than WRH, just like. Less insane. Probably. He might… need to die?

He’s not averse to a bit of murder, but he also thinks perhaps he’d rather be useful and appreciated by his brother than powerful at all costs. 

Also, JYL lets him hold the baby whenever he so much as looks longingly at little A-Ling, which is nice. And she also appreciates him and how clever he is. She tells him all the time and asks him for help navigating the viper pit. She seems to... trust him? It’s a new feeling.

Basically JGY goes team “my siblings ” instead of team “me against the world”.

JGS dies mysteriously. What a shame.

JZX takes over as sect leader, cleans house. He’s not here for the backstabbing and machinations. And he’s so happy. He has his very smart wife at his side. She might be a little sickly sometimes but turns out those Yunmeng Jiang are not to be fucked with, esp. when it comes to family.

NMJ shows up like “yo, XY needs to die for his crimes” and JGY and JZX look at each other and go, “yup here you go fam”. XY is publicly executed.

(Somewhere in the countryside, a couple of rogue cultivators somehow accidentally adopt an urchin girl? Yeah, Song Lan’s not sure how it happened either, but she’s fiesty. He likes her.)

JGY becomes his brother’s staunchest defender and advisor, and in return JZX can and will banish anyone who says shit about JGY. (Zixun is the first to go.) (They both listen to JYL, because she’s the best.)

Together, they find MXY and QS and welcome them into the family. JZX is ecstatic! He went from no siblings and an asshole dad to three siblings and no asshole dad! 

So things are pretty good. They missed JL’s one month celebration because whoops JGS died right before, so they do a one year.

Just beforehand, JYL comes to her little brother in law like “look A-Yao, we gotta sort out this shit with my didi. He can’t keep living on a mountain of corpses with a bunch of old people, a doctor, a zombie, and a baby. Help me, pls.”

And JGY is like “how do u know, everyone says he’s got an army.” He’s not evil but he is cautious. There are plenty of rumors still, even if JGS isn’t the one starting them.

And JYL is like here, and hands over the increasingly desperate letters from JC she’s been getting, cuz JC has visited a couple times and cannot convince WWX to leave w/o the Wen but clearly they’re going to starve.

So it comes out that JGS was even more full of shit than everyone thought. JYL and JGY go to her hubs and JZX is like “wtf dude no that’s super not cool” and they take a small contingent of mixed Jin who are now decent people and Jiang so WWX doesn’t freak out, and JC goes, and JYL insists on going and taking A-Ling, because she knows if WWX sees her and the baby he’ll know that it’s not a war party and won’t come out swinging.

Along the way LWJ shows up, because chaos (it’s early for that but shhhhh), and everyone is like “sure, whatever”.

WWX is waiting at the barrier with a buncha black mist swirling around him like “these motherfuckers are finally trying me” right up until he sees his didi, his zhiji, his shijie with his nephew and her hubs at the font of the small contingent, and then he more or less breaks down crying. It ends up being a nice reunion. They all troop up to the camp, where everyone is horrified and the Wen are like “join us for dinner. We have radish soup” and A-Yuan is clinging to his Xian-gege and his rich-gege and then insisting upon meeting the baby. He gets to give A-Ling the bracelet that he made for him.

JGY is lowkey like “sure am glad I killed my dad, he super deserved it.”

JYL is like “sure am glad my brother in law killed my father in law, he super deserved it.”

JZX is like “sure am glad my dad died under mysterious circumstances i am not thinking about and that my didi is awesome and likes me.”

LWJ and WWX circle each other a while after things are settled. The Wen have moved down to some land around Yiling and are starting to thrive. WQ and WN have more or less been absorbed into the Jiang, WWX is back home and bickering with his brother. 

Wen Qing wants to throttle them both.

A-Yuan is with WWX and doing great. He already considers A-Ling his cousin.

LWJ eventually writes to JYL about WWX like “pls help, ur brother is an oblivious dumbass” and JYL goes to her brother in law like “how do you feel about matchmaking?”

So they wrangle LWJ and WWX together.

Along the way JYL sees the way JGY looks at LXC and NMJ and then happens to catch NHS’s eye and they come to a swift and silent agreement regarding that situation, which is also resolved to everyone’s satisfaction and basically JGY gets to spend the rest of his life being useful and appreciated with a large family and getting dicked down on the regular by two sect leaders the end.

[actingwithportals]

More HK family headcanons: Mom Herrah Edition

Herrah is the BEST mom you cannot take this away from me

She loves Hornet with her whole heart and would do absolutely anything for her I mean it’s fucking canon

Her bargain with PK was out of her desire for an heir who was half Pale Being, which would mean certain benefits for Deepnest (powerful heir to contend with Hallownest), but that didn’t in any way lessen her genuine personal affection for Hornet as her own individual

She knew she wouldn’t get long with Hornet so she put as much time as possible into raising her, and when she would no longer be around she ensured that Hornet would be cared for by the people she most trusted (Midwife, Vespa)

She is a FIERCELY protective mother and is not afraid to cut a motherfucker Pale King (I had to make the joke I’m sorry) who dares hurt her daughter in any way (but of course she raises Hornet to be able to take care of herself too)

She’s not really physically affectionate, but she isn’t standoff-ish either; she puts more weight into actions like what needs she provides, how she regards others, what knowledge she imparts / skills she teaches

It was very important to her that she be the one to teach Hornet how to hunt, whereas other skills like weaving and crafting she left to the Weavers

Herrah was totally That Type who could threaten anyone efficiently and with no sympathy while also holding onto a very fussy little spider that wants to play. She’s more than capable of running both Mom.exe and Beast.exe

To quote a friend “Herrah may have fucked the Pale King but is team fuck the Pale King” just because he’s technically dad does not mean he gets automatic parent privileges. He’s gotta earn that shit for her to trust him with her daughter

Herrah wasn’t always the most available when Hornet needed her because of her own responsibilities as Queen of Deepnest, but she put in a damn good effort to make sure that Hornet never felt neglected, whether if just to play or to learn or for comfort

Upon meeting THK all of Herrah’s Mom Instincts immediately got set off because “this is a child who has never been mothered and since they’re my daughter’s sibling I Am Going To Change That”

There wasn’t much she could actually do to mother Hollow because of PK, but damn if she didn’t put in an effort to let them know that they were family to her, no matter what

Delving now into AU territory for a fic I’m working on but Herrah (and the other Dreamers) still being alive after the Embrace the Void end and getting to reunite with Hornet

It’s emotional as fuck and Hornet has her own hangups to work through, but it’s ultimately a happy reunion, and Herrah is just so proud to see who Hornet grew up to be

Herrah can still rule over Deepnest (what’s left of it) but she continues to prepare Hornet for when ruling will be her duty

She wants to make up for all the lost time, but she isn’t really overt about it, sticking to more subtle things like a word here or there, or entrusting Hornet to things that she hadn’t otherwise while Hornet was still young

She absolutely 100% adopts Hollow now and though she’s still not much for affection she is going to make sure this poor child knows that they have the ability to be loved and they should have been loved all this time

Just. Mom Herrah. Herrah being a mom. Why were we denied this, Team Cherry why??

[mediculling]

💘 👀🍓

💘 …someone my muse has a crush on.

😔😔 Nobody right now. You gotta be a level four friend to earn his unprofessional interest much less be eligible for feelings. 

👀 …someone my muse likes, but doesn’t trust.

Kyrril don’t trust any of you motherfuckers whether he likes you or not. But! @equiuszahhak is prolly the one with the highest ‘likes to talk to them’ to ‘doesn’t trust them as far as a grub could throw them’ ratio.

🍓…someone my muse has never met, but wants to meet.

That’s. A surprisingly tough thing to think abt. He’s not rlly social so he doesn’t actually really care to properly meet anyone he talks to. But uhhhh.  He would not mind meeting @infiniteproxy! If only to see if he’s as egotistical in person.

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Sixty-Four

I bobbed my head to and fro. Then I decided to practice my speech in front of the designated villain:

“So you have me in your sights. Nowhere for me to run. You can complete your goal, become all-powerful, and more than anything, be satisfied.”

“Something doesn’t feel right,” he muttered as if he were in a Tom Waits song. “I’m supposed to work for this. You’re just giving in.”

“Are you mad that I haven’t experienced the full extent of despair and hopelessness? But you should have known that me having Euphoria within me, that it would be impossible for me to feel anything other than happy.”

“That’s not it. I need to earn it.”

He spoke with such clarity as if all of his jumbled thoughts had been formed because during every moment of his existence, he longed for the one he found himself in.

“You have! You’ve worked very hard and your efforts should go rewarded! You should know, vore isn’t one of my fetishes, but I’m open to try new things.”

“Heh,” his smile once again rest plastered on his face, and I could make out a faint whiff of a chuckle. “It’s as if our personalities have reversed.”

“Not at all! I am, after all, the blank slate!”

“I don’t get it. I must have won. I already know you won’t try to resist. I’ve done everything up until this point and once I devour you and take your power, I can finally rest. But then...why does it feel like I’ve lost?”

I shrugged my shoulders. I almost wanted to shout with glee, but it wasn’t quite time yet.

“I’d say ‘sometimes you just gotta take that L’, but...it’s not really like that. As we speak, The Flashbulb is dissolving. They were an enemy of yours, weren’t they? And if not for the events which you orchestrated, their plans for this world wouldn’t have been foiled. So you won.”

In fact, seeing as things were about to end, I was more than a little curious how things were going back there now that I wasn’t able to support Velvet or any of the other friends I might have made along the way.

That was it, huh? Blanc was gone once again, and in their place was the reality of the situation: that things weren’t quite over yet. No, I already knew that. I was a fool to believe that things would be so easy. As soon as Blanc left, the fight was back on, with a glint of smugness in the eyes of the Flashbulb members. I knew I had to act, but I was still trying to process everything. My friend, gone once more. How many times has it been? Hell, it didn’t even matter. The impact was the same each time.

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go ahead and turn back time,” Dr. Humble declared, and that was the moment when I was broken from my trance. I jumped in front of the two Flashbulb members, and whether they were in charge of the whole operation or not didn’t matter much to me. In its own twisted way, it seemed like every member was equal measure all powerful and powerless against the other members. Less a check and balance and more two magnets in the same direction, unable to connect.

Look, the metaphor was better in my head.

Either way, I snatched it out from Dr. Humble’s grasp, and while Dr. Asparagus (or Modest. Potato, tomato. Same difference) tried to fight back and restrain me, I fought back and shoved my elbow into his stomach and stomped on his shoe. Both of them gasped now as I held their device in my hands, and I retreated back toward Coriander.

“What’s the deal?” Dr. Humble protested. How ironic, considering the position of power they held.

“You said yourself that you couldn’t turn back time until the ‘celestial’ or whatever you wanna call it this time is dies along with Earth!” I fired back at them. I didn’t know how to use their time travel device, nor did I care to. Perhaps if my endeavor proved fruitful, however eventual, Coriander and I could work together to find a new purpose for the device. As much as I didn’t want to fixate on it, there was a certain air that things were much less certain ever since Blanc departed.

“Please, that world of yours will come to an end whether we create a new timeline or not, so why not just start now?” Dr. Asparagus argued, his voice with the same smugness one would expect from a moldy piece of asparagus.

“I’ll be the one to decide that!” I declared, and maybe I didn’t have a reason to and maybe he was right, but damn it, this wasn’t just a battle over time preferences, but a battle over power.

When Coriander finally spoke, having been in the background the whole time, motionless, just as dazed as I was sure that I was, she sounded the least confident of all.

“What are we supposed to do now?” She asked. “I wanted to be able to return to the world.” She sounded like she was about to get choked up.

Now’s not the time to lose confidence, I wanted to tell her, but it wasn’t like I was any more hopeful.

“Velvet?” Her voice came in once more.

As soon as Coriander said that name, a screen popped up in the air with my likeness, as well as a series of writing.

“Ah, so that’s who you are,” Dr. Humble was now the one to sound smug. Quite a big deal of humblebragging, I’d say. “You’ve been a nuisance throughout your adult life, haven’t you? Governments have embellished stories of you, making you out to be some larger than life threat, when really, you’ve just spent much of your time with reckless impulses. All of your feats seem to be nothing more than lucky breaks. So insignificant to us, that when figured into the dangers of humanity, you’re not even a thought.”

Sheesh. You get your own Wikipedia page and all of a sudden everyone thinks they got you figured it out. Much of what that profile says about me could be applied to The Flashbulb themselves. Embellished? Check. Larger than life? Check. Nothing but lucky breaks? Also check.

“Is any of that wrong?” He asked me, as if he already thought himself correct.

“I mean, sure, I’ve definitely thought that way about myself,” I shrugged. Maybe it was the whole “nothing left to lose” attitude, but hearing such an amusing report gave me quite the ego boost. “People thinking I was some badass secret agent, when really, I just got where I was through a series of fuck ups. It could be that everything that has brought me here was due to countless lucky breaks, as well.”

They both laughed. I didn’t dare look through the corner of my eye, but I suspected there was a great fear and apprehension from my dear lover.

“I can’t believe this! We were scared over nothing! Nothing!” Both of the two men began to cackle, less like witches and more like they just discovered fire. An ever-widening crooked smile crept on Dr. Humble’s face as he spoke: “I’ll tell you two, hell, if Dr. Katsushika can hear us, I’ll tell that damned wild card as well! We as an organization are eternal! Countless others before you have tried to defeat us, all ending in utter failure to the point where we started to view having enemies as routine! And with that in mind, you thought you had a chance?”

True, they had an impressive track record against their opposition, but something about their speech of villainy just irked me.

“You’re right on that count, too,” I conceded. “We may not survive, either. Hell, I’m willing to bet our chances are slim to none.”

“Velvet!” Coriander scolded. Or maybe that’s what I interpreted from her tone. My head could be a real mess sometimes. But I knew why she would have scolded me, if that was the case. I mean, she didn’t want to die. Nor did I. Plus, it probably sounded to her like I was giving up or admitting defeat. Easy mistake to make, especially when I was less focused on communication and more focused on what should come next.

“That said, even with low chances like those, I’m still going to try and I’ll keep trying so long as I live. You’re probably thinking that all my luck has run out, but I have to ask: are you willing to test yours?”

Without so much as a reaction, Dr. Mumble (err...not Humble, but the other one) reached for one of the buttons on their console and spoke into it.

“Guards, dispose of these two intruders at the front.”

“Loud and clear,” a guard at the other end responded. At once, my heart both ceased to beat, for even just a second, and then it beat way too fast.

“It shouldn’t take them more than a few minutes to get here,” Dr. Microbe (like hell I was going to dignify that Flashbulb goon with their name) explained. “Especially with their numbers. You made a valiant effort, but when all is said and done, it won’t be so much as a footnote in a small section of our history.”

“How?” I balled my fists. They shook and I had to be careful not to crush the time travel device I held in my hand. It wasn’t like I knew how to use it, nor would I turn back time. As lucky as I may have been at times, I still preferred to do things on my own terms. “Popsigirl should have disabled all communications!”

“You’ll find that much like the code to Dr. Etna, much of our system constantly rewrites itself and corrects any errors along the way. Even if communication was temporarily cut off, it was never going to last long.”

Tenser than before, Coriander once again asked, “what do we do now, Velvet?”

I turned to her. As I did, I noticed something else. Call it keen eyesight, or potential for yet another lucky break, but I had to take any chance I could.

“I’m not going to ask you to trust me,” my words were just as shaky as hers had been. “Not when things are looking the way they are. But I will ask for you to check that wall next to you. If you find a panel, well, you know what to do.”

At first she gave me a baffled look, like “English, motherfucker!” But then she nodded.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“You’re as capable a hacker as I.” While I knew her specialty was more hardware than software, there was a certain amount of blind faith that I had to employ. Not to say I doubted her abilities, but that I had my doubts that anything could have helped us at that point.

While Coriander got to work with visible frustration, it appeared that Humble and Modest (screw it, just this once) weren’t living up to their names.

“Even if you two manage to figure a way out of here, what then? Like always, the predator becomes the prey, and here you are, on the defensive,” one of them spoke. Did it matter which one? I sure as hell didn’t think so. “Even if we were to lose all of our members, we could just recruit new versions of those same people in another timeline! You could kill us right now, in fact, and so long as one of us lives to bring new members in, what can you do? You’re fighting a losing battle!”

Talk it up. Every second you guys waste running your mouths gives me that much more time.

“Got it!” Coriander declared. I turned to see an opening beside us. Hell, as soon as I saw that, I couldn’t help but show off a sly grin.

“Well, not to be as cliché as you guys have been, but as they say, ‘we’ll deal with you later!’”

I shoved the time travel device into my pocket and ran into the opening along with Coriander. As we did so, the wall closed behind us and the two of us were surrounded in darkness. I’ve spent many nights by her side with the lights off, so that moment seemed like nothing to me.

“Good job, bae,” I put my thumbs up. Being as dark as it was, I had to be careful not to stick my thumb up her nose on accident.

“I’m surprised I managed to figure out something, I mean, it was tricky and even then, if we hesitated even just a second more, it might have closed on us.”

“Ugh,” I felt nauseous with what I was about to say next.

“What?”

“It really is the case that every second counts,” I said, just as I knew I would. Oh, the cliché. Oh, the disgust that was mediocre dialogue.

“Oh yeah. Gross,” she dismissed. “I think we’ve got more on our plate than rhetoric.”

We continued to move forward as we spoke. Any second, those guards would enter the room, and I was sure that both her and I knew that it would only take an instant on their end for that same wall to open up for them. We had to be on the move and figure out a strategy. I was aware of the real possibility that they could hear and catch every word we said, but I think our greatest asset was that we didn’t really know what we were going to do next. Really kept them on their toes.

“We can’t return to the world we knew,” her worries spilled forth. “It will still end, regardless of what we do. We can’t even get rid of the angel without having the world be destroyed in the process. I can’t stop thinking about this. How there’s nothing we could do. Bitterly, I already knew that, but I wanted so bad to believe there was a solution where we could reverse course and come out victorious. So what now?”

I gulped. My, how easy it was to give in to despair. I didn’t think she was quite there yet, but I wouldn’t have blamed her if she was.

“It’s easy,” I spoke up, at last thinking that I had an answer. “I know we didn’t get the most satisfying outcome, so now we try for the next best thing.”

I couldn’t tell whether she nodded in agreement, or if my words didn’t inspire much confidence, as with the total darkness, there was any number of ways one could interpret silence. Regardless, we continued to move forward.

We were on our way to bear the bad news when we both heard the announcement. It meant nothing to me, but it shook Dr. Hepburn to her core. She did a little jig, then turned to me and began poking my shoulders with such intensity and I was left wondering why I kept letting her.

“Hey. Psst! Hey.”

“Yes, HR lady?” I smiled. I couldn’t help but imagine that if I were in her position, I’d act the same way.

“You know that feeling when you go around giving people false hope but then you find out that hope is even more false than you realized?”

I shook my head.

“That’s how you’re feeling right now, huh?” I replied.

“Yeah!” She pumped her fists. “Everyone wants to be Grandmaster Flash, but there is no Grandmaster Flash, so everyone’s been vying for a false position at a false top!”

“Right, and I only like true tops,” I joked.

“Sorry,” she looked down and shook her head. “I’m not a fan of hierarchy. In fact, in some ways, this is quite a relief to me.”

“How so?”

“Because now everyone’s morale will be shifted from super low to super high...in your guys’ favor! They’re probably all pissed right now, like they’ve been cheated! Well, the ones who weren’t driven to despair, anyway.”

“Hmm...that’s one way to look at it, I suppose,” I wasn’t sure if that’s how things worked with people, but it seemed like a possibility.

“You know, I was always rooting for you guys,” she snapped her fingers.

“You were?”

“Well, once it turned out you guys were winning, anyway. If you guys were on the losing end of things, I’d be like ‘I wish they’d protest in a way that didn’t affect us’.”

“Gee, thanks,” I scoffed.

“Don’t mention it!” She held her thumb up and grinned.

Soon we entered a room and Dr. Hepburn had me sit next to her as she addressed a group.

“Greetings, I hope all of you in the Design Department are well,” she began. “I regret to inform you that going forward, your department will be laid off. The Flashbulb wishes you all the best in your future endeavors.”

All around the room were blank stares. I’m pretty sure I could be counted as one of those blank stares.

“All right, Hepburn. Cut the bullshit,” one member finally spoke up. Some gruff guy with a gray pompadour haircut.

“No, no, she’s serious,” I waved my hands out. That proved to be a mistake as the guy turned his attention toward me.

“First of all, no she isn’t. Everyone knows none of us get fired or laid off here. We’re stuck here ‘til the day we die, which usually entails us getting killed by someone. Second, who are you?”

Before I could answer, Dr. Hepburn tapped her pen away at her clipboard until his attention turned toward her instead, to which she took over.

“She is my auntie assistant,” she explained.

“What kind of sick roleplay…” I heard him muttered. I wanted to defend myself and go, “It’s not sick! It’s perfectly healthy!” But why would I when it wasn’t even roleplay?

“Anyway, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with such an excuse when we already know the big secret. Hell, now that the cat’s out of the bag, a big lot of us are asking ourselves, ‘what was ever the point?’ I mean, the obvious point should have been, ‘to help each other improve one another’, but with this sham of a competition, it’s clear we’ve not really been a help to anyone, let alone ourselves.”

Hepburn’s tapping continued with such a frenzied intensity that I imagined she would make a great drummer, if she wasn’t already one to begin with. Maybe if I got the chance, I could convince her to take up the drums. But then maybe she wouldn’t be into that sort of thing. It’s the thought that counts, anyway, right?

Then the tapping stopped and she smiled a big smile.

“Good! Now you know why you’re being laid off!”

“Oh for crying out loud!” He got up from his chair and flew into a rage.

“Anyway, now that you’re no longer with the company, wanna burn it down?” Dr. Hepburn suggested.

He froze in place.

“You know what? Yeah. I do. I’m sick of all the micromanaging and the way every department can’t seem to help but do more harm than good. Worse, I’m sick of hearing ‘Grandmaster Flash told you to’ when no, no they didn’t. That’s just an excuse to make me do something you didn’t want to do.”

I was glad he seemed to be on our side. Now there was just the matter of the rest of the Design Department…

I shot my hand up.

“Hey, is there someone here named Dr. Oz?” I looked around and asked. One of the members, a sheepish looking young man with mutton chops and a wool sweater turned to me.

“That me,” he bleated. I couldn’t help myself, I was beaming at the prospect that I could be a matchmaker.

“I met Dr. Phil!”

His eyes widened, like he had just seen a wolf. Jeez, I didn’t mean to put him on the spot like he was some sacrificial lamb.

“Did he say anything abaa-t me?”

“Yeah! He said that he thinks it would be great if you two worked together to rally up more departments! He said his department’s sick of this shithole and he bet he isn’t the only one!

“Did he really say that?” The pompadour guy interrupted, ever the skeptic.

He said some of those things. Look, I’m improvising here.

“Sure did! Who are you, anyway?”

He grunted. “I’m Dr. Toto. What about you? No more games, either.”

I bless the rains down the yellow brick road – no, now’s not the time for that. I have to think of how to answer. Probably not a good idea to make something up, but what else can I say?

“Dr. Hepburn, go ahead and tell them the truth. I’m still a little shy,” I tugged on her sleeve.

She looked down and smiled. She must have known just what to say.

“The truth is, Juniper is best girl.”

I just about fell back in my chair. I was rooting for you, Dr. Hepburn! We were all rooting for you! “Back in her original timeline, there was a contest all around the vote all around the world, and it was decided at the end that she was best girl. The company caught wind of this and just had to find out what all the hype was about, and so she was brought here. There was a raffle in the cafeteria with the grand prize being to meet her. Needless to say, I won.”

That had to be the among the top ten most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.

“Yeah, okay. Seems legit,” Dr. Toto grunted as he nodded.

There were two other members of the Design department, one of which had long, flowing fuchsia hair, and the other had short, iridescent indigo hair. Both of them were pretty, but if I had to choose one over the other...no. That wasn’t what I was there for.

The one with fuchsia hair turned to me.

“How did you do it? Become best girl?” Fuchsia’s voice was soft and soothing.

Way to put me on the spot, Hepburn.

“By starting a revolution!” I declared. Hey, if Dr. Hepburn was going to make a bold claim, so was I.

“Cheers, sis, I’ll fucking drink to that,” Indigo added, and if Fuchsia’s voice was beautiful, then Indigo’s voice was hot, with the way it was husky and self-assured. Still, I didn’t mean to compare the two.

“Anyway, we gotta get a move on and lay more people off. If you guys can work on getting the word out, we should at least have a few more departments on our side,” I explained. Dr. Hepburn gave me a pat on the head.

“You did well as an auntie assistant,” she told me.

“Thanks,” I blushed, though really I didn’t want my hair messed with.

As we left the room, we heard the siren call of an alarm.

“The guards…” I heard her mutter, and before I could react, she took me by the hand and we ran.

Well, wasn’t that just swell?

I mean, I should have expected it, really. If it happened just as planned, then I wouldn’t have found it to be such a masterpiece, just a simple work of art, instead. So revise, improvise. After all, you couldn’t spell painting without ‘pain’ and you couldn’t spell drawing without ‘aw’ and without a doubt, you couldn’t spell revolution without ‘vore’.

Once the alarms outside of my head went off, the alarms inside my head did as well.

Soon, I could hear the click-clack approaching the door to the command room I was in. Which command room? Did it matter? Why did we have so many command rooms? Beats me, but I was sure going to miss this place once it was all over. Which, ‘over’ was just an anagram of ‘vore’. I felt that was worth pointing out.

“Wah! Ha! Ha!” I let out a proud laughter as the door to was busted down and fine chiseled armored specimen stormed in with their suits of shiny metal and their heavy weapons. Each of them fell before they could even pull their itty bitty triggers. Turns out I was right to hold on to Cilantro’s laser backpack. That thing could pack a PUNCH with a capital ‘UNCH’.

As the three guards lay on the ground, I stood over them in triumph and announced:

“It’s just like the tools of the ruling class to be anti-creator. Well I’m here to tell you that I’m pro-creator, and I plan to procreate for as long as I live!”

I couldn’t just stand there over them, as much as that would have made for a fine work of art, as I wasn’t quite sure if they were dead. Yes, I could have fired another shot or three, just to make sure, but there was a beauty in the uncertainty of it all that I just had to relish in. I sniffed the air, which mostly smelled of the smoke produced from that laser blast.

“I was really hoping to catch the whiff of a charred corpse,” I sighed with disappointment. That mood didn’t last, and soon I was back on the drawing board. “Anyway! As they say in Spain, Seeyanara!”

If my calculations were correct (and while some may have thought calculus not to be my strong suit, they would be wrong, as not only was I not good at calculus, but calculating was an art, so being good or not was irrelevant) then Velvet and Lil C should be close. Good! I could return the cute backpack to its rightful owner.

We were still alive, but at a disadvantage. Sure, I could hack into stuff as well, although if someone were to ask me, Velvet was still better in that department. She could roll with the punches and think fast on her feet. Me? I needed total concentration.

At the moment, as we moved forward in pure darkness, concentration was the one thing I did NOT have. It’s not like I wanted to admit it, but it was the reality we were in: at any moment, the walls we found ourselves between would be blasted open and the two of us, shot down. It got me thinking about what our impact would have been. The “close, but not cigar” in terms of success stories of those who went against The Flashbulb? The little clone that could, until she didn’t? It’s not like I cared how I was remembered, if I was remembered at all, I just expected a little more.

Well, my worst fear came true: in front of us, a blast tore through the walls and we both jumped back.

We’re gonna get raided and we’re gonna get shot down without so much as a fight and we aren’t going to have any romantic last words between us it’s just going to be violent and bloody and –

Instead of an army of guards, only one figure entered, one who I wished I didn’t have to see again so soon: that mad artist.

“Smart thinking, you two! Making out while the enemy’s looking for you!” Were her first words upon us meeting, and I was not amused. In fact, I’m pretty sure I growled without so much as a word.

“Ha. I wish,” Velvet joked back, though by now I could tell that was just how Velvet acted when she was tense.

“Anyway, you two should get out of there. Don’t worry, I took care of the guards that were after you. Though there’s going to be a buttload more.”

“Is that the scientific term or…?” Velvet shot back.

Disregarding the useless small talk, we walked forward, through the new hole that was formed. Velvet first, me just behind her. There was no way I was going to trust that popsicle stick lover. Then again, she hurt Velvet before, too. Ugh. Just the thought of either of our wounds was enough to send shivers.

Light illuminated us (get it? Because...oh, who gives a shit?) as we stepped out. I still wanted to keep as much distance from that...you know. I selfishly wished that Velvet would do the same.

“Jeez, I can’t believe you guys didn’t defeat the bad guys yet? How hard could it be?” You-know-who (or you don’t, and if you don’t, lucky you) began questioning. Although not quite accusatory and more playful in tone.

“Gee, I don’t know. Army of guards, code that self-corrects, time travel devices, the list goes on,” Velvet was incensed, no longer playing around.

I didn’t look that artsy fartsy helper in the eye, but I was still compelled to speak up.

“I-It’s not just that!” My fists were balled. We didn’t have time to stand around and argue, but dammit, someone had to set the record straight gay. “So long as one Flashbulb members wishes to stay in power, then we may as well consider the whole thing a loss! They can always go back in time! This is the problem with the organization as a whole! Those guards may as well be members too, because even if they aren’t official members, they have a vested interest in killing anyone who threatens their power! What’s to stop them from forming a new Flashbulb? We can’t just go 75%!”

I began to huff and puff. Hyperventilate. Even though I didn’t see her face, as I refused to, I could just tell that she smiled in return.

“I see your point, and that’s why I’m saying, it’s easy to beat them! You just gotta send them back to their own time and leave them nothing in their possession! I don’t see what’s so hard about that!”

I didn’t give her a reply. I never wanted to speak to her, or around her again in the first place. But I spoke once and that was already too much.

“Now, this is a big organization, so there’s bound to be plenty of departments that don’t care about the lack of a Grandmaster Flash. In fact, they might have been elated when they heard that! You guys will probably have to deal with them. Well, you guys, or the ones who defect. I suspect there’s been a few departments who have been unhappy with this company for a while now, and probably want to tear the whole thing down. So you got that going for you.”

I heard every word, but none of them meant anything to me. Maybe they held significance, but I just let them flow in and out.

“I’ll be real with you guys, you’ll probably still need to kill some guards, unless you can strip them naked and send them flying to some deserted island. Either way, their bodies will have to go somewhere. I’m going to go help out these other departments who are on your side! I’ll be sending plenty of doctorates flying home!”

I looked down and noticed Velvet reach into her pocket and pull out the time travel device that she stole from Dr. Humble.

“I see what you’re saying, but I don’t even know how to use this thing,” she must have pointed to said device as she told Dr. Popsicle.

“Well gee, I’d help you figure it out, but I can already tell there’s more guards approaching.”

That was weird. I didn’t hear any. But then, I heard a little tap-tap sound in the back of my mind, and that could have been them in the distance.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re good at figuring things out under pressure. In fact, you should go back in that room you were in and kick those two men out.”

“Really? After we just left with our lives?” Velvet interrupted.

“What better way to practice a craft? As for you, Coriander…” Popsigirl spoke, and I felt like screaming for her not to say my name, but instead I said nothing. “I’ve come to return your backpack.”

I didn’t take it. Instead, Velvet took it and handed it to me. For what seemed like an eternity, I stood in place. Then, arms wrapped around me, the familiar arms that I’ve felt many times before, and I looked up.

“I get it,” Velvet whispered while still in her arms. “She’s gone now. You’re safe.”

“Right,” I nodded. “Let’s just go back there and show those two what’s what.”

At least if Twee-humble and Twee-modest wanted to put up a fight, I could fire my lasers. So for their sake, they should have played nice if they knew what was good for them.

In all my years, I never understood the hype with Audrey. Katharine, however, she was worth all the hype and then some. Really, where was the Katharine fandom when you needed them? If they wouldn’t show up, I would just have to be Special K.

Okay? Okay. Focus. OK? Right. Rikki-tikki...tic-tactile.

My auntie (no relation) assistant, Dr. Not-a-Doctor Juniper was right beside me as someone who just happened to be right beside me. Where were we? I think we were in hiding. In a closet or a broom room. Something about guns and guards and not wanting to die. That sounded about right.

“You look scared!” Junie B. Jones commented. Really, I heard that name somewhere before. Probably in a newspaper somewhere during some time period.

“I’m more than scared,” I assured her. “They probably don’t like traitors, just like they don’t like intruders.

“Well...that makes sense, I guess,” she gave it some thought. “I’ll be honest, I wish I had some kind of plan. I thought things were going pretty well back there with the Design Department, but now I’m losing hope again.”

“I know what you mean. It’s like a civil war here. Flashbulb vs. Flashbulb. It’s like we’re trying to pin each other down, but neither of us wants to be underneath the other.”

“...Did you have to phrase it that way?” She sounded concerned. I didn’t understand, and more than that, I didn’t think there was any other way to phrase it. It was just the reality of the situation.

Even in the darkened room, I could tell Juniper was sullen.

“The truth is...it seems like everyone’s doing their part, but I feel like I haven’t really done anything.”

“Don’t think of it that way! You came up with suggestions that probably wouldn’t have been implemented! I can tell you have a desire to help others, and sometimes that desire is good enough!”

“Gee, that’s real nice of you to say, but…” she looked away. “Is that really enough?”

I shrugged. “Who knows, but sometimes it is, so maybe one of these days, it will be!”

I pressed my ear against the door. From the sound of things, it seemed like all the commotion died down. Though the alarm kept sounding, there was nary a threatening aura to be heard.

I opened the door.

“I think we’re safe for now,” I told her.

Then, as if I just tempted fate (which hey, if I did, that’s pretty cool, I mean, it would have been bad for us, but it would also be just like one of those ironic lines in a movie), other faces met ours.

“Dr. Phil?” Juniper noticed one such face. Some chubbyish guy who looked ready to hit the hay. That was, until he smiled a big smile and right next to a human-shaped hay pile was Dr. Oz.

“Hey! Dr. Juniper! Look! Dr. Oz and I are a couple now!”

Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz shared a passionate kiss and everyone in the Marketing and Design department cheered.

“Don’t worry, I’m not a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” Dr. Oz reassured us. “In fact, Dr. Phil and I have been spreading the word, just like you suggested, Juniper! We’ve got the Agriculture, the Housing, and the Clothing Department coming over to help us with possibly others on the way!”

Juniper smiled and I thought I saw a tear roll down her cheek, but she wiped it away, whatever it was she wiped away.

“I’m glad for you guys. I’m glad to have made some friends, even when I thought I’d make enemies and be scared for my life.”

I watched as those two departments and Juniper shared a hug with one another. Meanwhile, I had a No. 1 pencil in my mouth (a rarity. Most of them had been eked out of existence in favor of the inferior No. 2).

“Yeah, yeah, soak it in,” Dr. Toto cut the heartwarming moment short with a cross of his arms. “But we still gotta deal with those guards, as well as the departments that don’t want to defect.”

“Right. Good thing Dr. Glinda and I have constructed a shield to block any artillery,” Dr. Ozma declared.

“Dr. Glinda?” Juniper asked.

I pointed my tender pencil at the member of the design department with fuchsia hair.

“Oh! Fuchsia! So who is indigo?”

I wanted to burst into laughter. I never thought to call Dr. Ozma ‘Indigo’ before. I couldn’t help but think, “my name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to –” but I didn’t know where I was going with that.

“That’s Dr. ozma, Junebug.”

“Oh! Junebug! That’s a cute nickname!” Juniper grinned. With much brighter spirits, we charged on. I thought to let everyone know that it seemed like none of us had a clue where we were going, but I kept my mouth shut because nobody liked a buzzkill.

Anyway, things seemed to be going pretty fine and dandy. Some guards rushed in and after warning us to go back to our departments. Dr. Glinda and Dr. Ozma raised the protective barrier around the two groups. The next logical thing was the guards opening fire, but after their artillery was depleted, Juniper seemed to gain a new set of confidence and declared:

“We have gay and anime on our side!”

Those same guards ran up to us and tried to break the shield down by bashing their weapons against the shield. It seemed like that was actually working as I noticed our shield start to break. But before it broke fully, each of the guards fell to the ground. Dr. Toto looked confused, but once everyone saw who had taken the guards down, we all froze in fear: the dreaded Dr. Katsushika stood, with several giant marionette dolls beside her.

“Who let her out of her cage?” Dr. Glinda asked as she trembled.

“Coming out of my cage and I’ve been...doing...just…” Juniper muttered, her teeth chattered. Must have been a nervous tick of hers. Cute.

“Nice revolution you have there. Shame if something were to happen to it,” Dr. Katsushika grinned. We all got ready to scream and run, until that same artist laughed. “I’m just messing with you guys! I’m on your side! Let’s go!”

Relieved, we followed behind her. I recall Juniper asked Dr. Katsushika something like, “why’s everyone so scared of you?”

To which Dr. Katsushika replied, “People tend to think I’m evil, that’s all.”

“Aw, I’m sure you’re not that bad. You’re probably just misunderstood.”

“Right!” Dr. Katsushika agreed. “Just give me five, no, ten years, and I’ll be a full-fledged artist!”

It was really nice to see everyone come together, even if it was for the purpose of making us all break apart. Would our organization really be no more? And if so, what would that make me, then? That thought was fraught with a frailty I couldn’t fathom. Some eternal entity, falling. I hoped at least one of us could see the end, if not me, but for the moment, I chose to close my eyes and wait for whatever outcome.

Two figures sitting. Both of us humanoid. Both of us eager for it all to end. Neither of us human. Well, one may be, but at times I knew better. Then at times I knew worse. Even to the bitter end, I couldn’t keep myself consistent.

“I never really cared whether The Flashbulb was defeated or not,” I said once I managed a split hair of clarity. “I always considered them too easy a target. Anger was fine, but anger wouldn’t last me. My true frustration was finding something that would.”

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, or none of the above, looked down on me. Not with pity, not in contempt, but just because they sat on a rock while I sat on a flat surface.

“Is it frustrating?”

“I can’t...be happy...if I don’t find something...that will last me...until death...but...being immortal...makes things...all that more...difficult.”

I didn’t need to space out all of those words. I think I just wanted to for dramatic effect.

“I see, then!” That bright light beamed.

I couldn’t help but smile, even after everything that happened. All that I caused, and all that I didn’t. What I let happen and what I perpetuated. I still never found what I thought to be happiness. Soon, even the dissatisfaction would be gone.

[halitophobia]

Blind Eye - Two

Parings ⟶  OC x Hank’s Daughter! Reader (TEMPORARILY) , RK800! Connor x Hank’s Daughter! Reader (EVENTUALLY)

A/N ⟶ Thank you so, so much for the notes from the first chapter ! Btw, I’m really sorry this is a little late. I’m hoping for late weekly chapters? Every 10ish days or so...(I’ve gotten super busy, but I’m trying my best!)

Disclaimer ⟶ still don't own any characters from DBH

Warnings ⟶ swearing, violence, mentions of death, stubborn reader, stubborn Hank, spoilers...?, slow burn, sLoW bUrN, SLOW BURN, alcohol abuse (Hankster), angst, toxic relationship, eventual....fluff, happiness, cute stuff, flustered Connor, flustered Reader, all the gushy-ness, and ?????smut?????

Word Count ⟶ 3023

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 

----

NOV 6th, 2038

AM 12:41:04

"Why'd you kill him?"

"What happened before you took that knife?"

     Pursing your lips and narrowing your eyes, you watch the HK400 through the one-way glass. Your arms are crossed, face still as marble except for the bouncing of your right leg.

"Anderson. Are you cold or having a muscle spasm."

     You blink, glancing down at the one and only Gavin Reed's hands leant on the desk, but as quickly as you do, your eyes are glued back to the window.

"Let's make a bet. Like the good ol' days, yeah?" that same sandpaper voice sounds again, making you frown.

"I say," he pauses, "they had a bromance. Carlos and Andy over here." he gestures to the android. "Carlos brings home this smokin' hot 'robette' babe wanting a steamy, squeaky threesome. Attic boy gets mad and," his right arm comes up, and he stabs the air while pulsing to a beat of 'nn-s, nn-s, nn-s...', "...kills'em." So many things I didn't miss about working here...

     That fowl scent of sweat, old leather, and cheese also known as Gavin wafts your way, and you do your best not to gag. I mean, does this hobo shower? Wash his hands after shitting? A loud bang draws your attention to Hank, who's clearly gotten frustrated.

"Fuck it. I'm outta here." he grumbles, entering the observation room seconds later.

     You slowly clap watching him scowl at you.

"I'm impressed, Pops. You really stated your ground in there." you nod, earning a chuckle from Gavin. "My turn." you smile, and scurry out of the room. You hear Hank's voice yelling at you to come back, but you're already halfway through the door to the interrogation room.

     The droid doesn't move an inch as you shut the door behind you. You grin, feeling a wave of déjà vu wash over you. You've done this plenty of times before. How hard can a life-sized moving Barbie doll be?

"Alright, you piece o' shit." you can physically sense your father slapping his face behind the glass.

"I'm gonna jump right into it, okay? Okay." you drop yourself into the chair across from it, leaning back and crossing your arms and legs. "I don't know how it works in your...command center up there, but you gotta tell us what happened."

     You watch it avoid your gaze. A painful silence dances around you, only to make your skin crawl with frustration. You swing your leg back over and let it drop below you. Your arms come onto the table and you lean down, to get into its view.

"Pssst. I'm not leaving until you spill." you whisper, staring into its eyes even though it doesn't return the contact. You push back abruptly and revert to a normal volume, "So we can just skip all this," you motion between the both of you, "and you can obey, like a good little bot."

     Immediately, you see the change of energy from the suspect. Your brows lift, amused at the reaction. "Oh? Not into the whole submissive thing? I can see you got mad there. If that's even possible."

     It shifts again, seeming to get more worked up. This is perfect, you just need to push it around. No better way to let off some steam.

"You wrote 'I AM ALIVE' on the wall, like a jewelled crown atop Ortiz's lifeless head. That's what he said to make you upset, right? You were quoting him? Because, well...I mean, how on earth could you think of that? You aren't capable of...thinking for yourself." you wait, and decide to amp it up. "For all we know, that man was innocent. Just enjoying his life, wanting...a friend? And you come along? To do what? To stab him."

     There's a warning knock from the other side of the glass. You brush it off and examine the android. Chest heaving, hands clenched and jaw rippling. The lips on its face quiver, words just waiting to break the dam. And without looking back, you chimmy-changa your way across the line.

"Twenty. Eight. Times."

     You hear the tapping once again, more urgent, but still, you ignore it. Can you shut up? You're a millisecond away from confession and they choose to cut you know? Your old man probably wants to slip in and take credit.

     You're brought back to your senses as you watch the scene in front of you. The battered automaton is now writhing under the chords which bolt is slowly lifting off the table. "Hey, hey, hey. No need to cause a scene. Suck it up, and tell me wh-" your vision goes black. Well fuck me...

     The second your sight leaves, it's back but doubled. Your forehead throbs, as if a pump were behind your eyes. That motherfucking thing head-butted you. You can't help the weight sloshing around your brain, making your head pound harder. You move to stand, but stumble into the wall behind you. Get. Up.

     You feel arms hook under yours, and start to get dragged towards the door. "Get off of me!" you snap.

     Your view seeps back into HD and you ignore the sting in your head. "I'm fine! Let me finish this!" your voice is a harsh growl, and you lash around in the person's grasp.

Who is this anyway?

     Then you smell it. Oh. Reed tightens his grip, practically lifting you from your waist, and before you know it, your dropped into a computer chair facing the interrogation room. Just as you start to collect yourself, another smack is planted on your skull.

Okay what the fuck.

"Ow."

     An ice pack falls off your shoulder and into your lap. Wow, do I get a massage too?

"Nice going, Y/N." Hank spits.

     You roll your eyes, pressing them into the ice pack. With your voice muffled, you reply with 'thank you'.

"No, I really mean it. You just jeopardized this whole cross-examination. You brought that thing near to self-destruction!"

     Your brain is hoola-hooping within your skull and this ancient dick lecturing you is just hollering encouragement.

"Y/N, take this seriously. You really fucked up." Gavin chimes in.

Oh give me a break.

     You groan loudly, hoping it'll make them stop. You really don't need this. You just need five quiet minutes, and you can go back in and get that confession. Easy-peasy.

"Earth to Y/N. You may have been bumped in there, but I know damn-well you can hear me." Hank aggressively taps your shoulder and the water in the pot just boils away.

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

     You're fully turned around, eyes ablaze with fire. You're cooking both men alive from your eyes and the pain from your head disappears for a moment. A silent breath escapes your parted lips, and you almost whisper.

"Will you, shut up."

     The air is thick as fog. Your sight clogged with angry-exhaustion, their's with vigilance, for they now tread on very thin ice.

"My name is Conner, what about you. What's your name?"

You're. KIDDING.

     Spinning your chair right around, you're faced with an image of pure disaster. Sir Smiley-Bot is seated across from the HK400.

"You let the fucking android interrogate the fucking android!"

     It hasn't even been twenty minutes and for the second time, you're blood is racing around your body like a jet. Running circuits in and out of your shrinking heart. Does no one have common sense in this fucking facility?

"What do we have to lose, Y/N. You've already ruined a proper examination, what's so different in sending in the thing?"

     Hank's voice destroys every sense of calm in your veins. You're going fucking bonkers now. It's like they worship this brown-haired robot. Prancing around its steel feet, praying to the android gods above. You've come to a conclusion; you are officially the only sane human in this police division. Everyone's brains are being melted by the second and they'll all just become slaves for the androids. Yup, I’ve solved the case.

"Shh, shh, shut up. Listen." Gavin lays his hand on your right shoulder, which you quickly brush off.

"I was fucking breathing."

     He replies with a grimy finger to his lips, staring forward. You sulk in the chair, intertwining your fingers atop the desk. The ice pack is balanced on your head and you stare forward. King-Droid seems to be calming the defendant down. Seriously?

"I could have easily calmed the thing down, this isn't all that fantastic." you scoff, adjusting the cooling pack.

     Hank flicks your head in response. It sure shuts you up. I am getting favoured over a bottle cap. I leave for one year and all of Detroit's been fucked in the ass by Alexa, Google Home, and Cortana at the same time. This is absolute bullshit. Choosing these things? Over trusted humans? This is surely humanity's last stra-

"No!"

...come again?

"No, please don't do that!"

     All three of you are now leant toward the glass, your nose virtually pressed on it. All that stupid popcan had to do was threaten to probe its memory ooooh spooky!

"What..."

     A beautifully awkward sound of leather, wood, and the chair squeal in harmony as your trio incline forward again. If it weren't for the one-way glass, there would be three sources of breath in their own designated spots.

"What are they going to do to me?"

Baby bye, bye, bye, BYE BYE.

"They're going to destroy me, aren't they?" its voice is in a panicked hiss.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

"They're going to disassemble you to look for problems in your biocomponents. They have no choice if they want to understand what happened."

     This goes on for a little while, the honoured golem teetering between comfort and warning. You just watch soundlessly, intrigued for the outcome. Cold droplets trickle down your neckline, for the pack on your head had started to melt. You can't resist the urge to shiver, swiftly wiping away the excess water.

     Your attention is slowly dispersing and you're starting to lose interest. You notice your stomach grumble - right, you'd forgotten to eat before all of this. Come to think of it, you're starving. Your gut agrees and wails to you again.

"Shh!" Gavin jeers.

Oh please.

     You start to lift onto your feet, wanting to grab a snack, but are interrupted by a voice that has been heard to the very minimal. Seriously though, vending machine cashews would kill right about now...

"He tortured me everyday..."

     Your ass is stapled back into the chair, holding your tongue as its mouth finally starts to move. You listen intently, watching the emotions.

     You're amazed at how...real these androids look. This...suspect. Its..his eyes were saying something. His face held...pain. The way he says he was scared makes your breath falter. For a moment, you could really believe they're humans...with their own lives...own problems.

     But your eyes move to the annoying one and the funky lighted circle gives it away.

     Connor no, that hurt to say... asks more questions. And that's when you feel shivers crawl up your spine, vertebrae by vertebrae. The dark-skinned bot falls into a trance, speaking of ra9. Claiming it will save them all...that they'll no longer be slaves. You swallow hard, feeling regretful...and alarmed. You blink. You never know what these two could be doing in there.

"What if they're secretly communicating to each other? Through their...biocompo-nents...? you ask under your breath.

"As if. They can't mind...speak." the brunette scoffs behind you.

"Yeah? And how would you know." you bark back.

You're interrupted by Hank, smacking both of you.

The RK800 turns its head toward the mirror; harsh and precise. "I'm done."

     You jolt up. Goosebumps on your skin, hairs on your arms standing tall and attentive. That interrogation gave me the creeps...

     All three of you flood out the main door, heading to the one just a foot away. Officer Chris Miller tags along who you literally hadn’t noticed until he cleared his throat, preparing to move the aberrant. No...that's just weird to say. Suddenly, the room feels a lot smaller. Six of you is six too many.

"Chris, lock it up." Gavin commands gruffly. You notice how he eyes the RK800, the model obviously ignoring his warning.

     Officer Miller detatches it from the table, but it jerks from his grasp. Your eyes narrow and you lean against the door, feeling drowned from the new energy in the space. Like defusing a ticking bomb.

     Gavin interjects aggressively, hassling Chris to move it. You watch awkwardly as they struggle, both of them pulling completely opposite ways. You push off from the wall, starting to get impatient.

"You're making this harder than it has to be." you state, trying to get its attention.

     Gavin yells once again, only to get the same in return. Your childish ass chimes in, telling Reed to back down, and now it's just a trio of toddlers crying for their candy. You're telling the cheese-smelling douche to hold his temper, while he's bitching about being tired. Chris yells at both of you two shut up when you notice the thing across you grab the officer's gun.

Fuck.

      In less than a second, blue...blood has coloured the ceiling. The HK400 is crumpled on the floor, gun laying loosely amoung its fingertips. Nothing stirs in all six of you. Your lungs have paused, muscles and eyes too. Your gaze is cemented on the one now pressed to the ground. The eyes still and wide like any other human lying dead. It stares off into another realm, mouth frozen in time, halfway through an inhale.

     This is what you forgot about. This part of the job. This raw, ferocious beast that gnaws at your gut. Chewing, ripping, tearing your meat agonizingly slow. Always hungry, always eating away at you.

"Holy shit."

     You whip your head at your father, revolted that the same words escaped his mouth...at the same time.

----

AM 1:34:48

     Gulping down two pills of ibuprofen, you stare at Hank talking with his plastic buddy. You're leant against his desk, fiddling around with his pens and sticky notes. You sigh as you feel someone slide up next to you.

"How've you been, fucker. You looked like shit walking into the building cuffed. 'Thought you were the one being arrested."

     The grey-eyed dickwad chuckles at his comment, anticipating your snarky retort.

"Reed, I'm not in the mood." you grumble, wiping your eyes with the underside of your fingers.

     You can sense his frown and disappointment. There's a small pause, but sure enough, he doesn't leave you alone.

"Another fight with Ben?"

Your stomach inverts and you feel the need to throw up. "Excuse me?"

     He raises his hands defensively. "Woah, woah. Just asking. You just always seem to be having problems with that guy."

"Where did you get this from, huh?" you threaten.

"Last time I saw you, you were whinging about him on the phone. You weren't being discrete."

     Sure...you weren't, but that doesn't mean he had the right to listen. He's a nosy, intrusive, grumpy old prick and you have never felt so disgusted in his presence.

"Stay out of my life, Reed. You have no right to ask me that. You have no right to assume things about me, and you have no right to be a...fucking asshole!"

"That last one isn't even-"

You slapped him.

     There's a sliver of regret, but your choler has clouded your mind. Do I have anger issues?

     Next thing you know, Hank is lecturing you about having manners, controlling your actions, thinking before you do, blah blah blah. You've heard this all before, it's like you're thirteen again, getting pestered at for feeding the dog your lasagna. Or cutting off that stupid girl's ponytail. She was a wicked shrew...

     Behind Hank, you catch Gavin start to snicker. Absolutely not. You push past the bearded man and start to pummel the brunette's chest. And I mean pummel. Beat. Punch. Slam. Not one giggle leaves his toxic mouth. Poppa tries to pry you off, but he gets an elbow to the nose. Respect your elders, am I right? All this anger...is barely even from Gavin's stupid words. This is the rage from the past two hours. Tonight has been hell. Trudging through disaster after disaster. It's all too much. Your gums start to ache due to the tightness of your jaw. Your hands begin to shake, each blow somehow impacting you. It's like you're just beating up yourself.

     A pair of arms wrap around your sore body, ripping you from your poor...punching bag. Gavin's face is already swelling. Black and blue covering his skin. Blood as the cherry on top. He's dead quiet now, breathing heavily as he lays on the ground. But then...you notice Hank on the ground too, blood spilling from his nose. If Hank's on the ground...then that means...

     You look down and see grey sleeves, detailed with black and silver. No, no, no, no...

"LET ME GO YOU CLUSTER OF RUSTY NAILS."

"I'm sorry, Detective Anderson, but you need to calm down before I can let you go."

I hate his voice, I hate his voice, I hate his voice...

"I'm calm." your voice like honey flowing over chocolate mousse.

     You drop every emotion in your face. All of your tensed muscles fall and you seep into its chest. Its arms fall from your torso. You wait a beat, then completely turn around.

You punch it square in the face.

     You watch in delight as its face snaps back. It stumbles, just once, which truly is enough for you. There's a burst of relieve and triumph, followed by a sting and numbness between your knuckles

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, fuck. Fucking fuck. Okay, so worth it, though...

----

[skold]

aight so here’s tim’s partial chart which you don’t have to know how to read i’m just putting it here for the people who do

putting a read more for length

sun in sagittarius - yr sun sign is the one most people know cuz it’s by birth date and you can just google it. the dates don’t change year to year the way others do. it’s yr sense of self, yr individuality, yr outward personality. sag suns tend to be rly social, active, honest to the point of hurting peoples’ feelings lmao. known to talk Too Much. impulsive. bad at foreseeing the consequences of their actions. bridge burners. HAAAAAATE being restricted in any way.

moon in capricorn - moon sign is more your internal self and people can often feel more closely aligned w/ their moon sign than their sun sign. moon sign can tell abt someone’s sensitivities and their instincts and where they find security. moon in cap generally indicates somebody who finds fulfillment in being useful to others and has an insane work ethic. has trouble cutting loose. cap moon folks tend to have a lot of insecurities wrt feeling ignored or useless. they want outside approval but can’t depend on it.

mercury in sagittarius - mercury rules over communication and intellect. indicates how someone interacts with other people. ppl with merc in sag fucking love traveling which y’know, considering tim travels for his job AND as a tourist. checks out. mercury in a fire sign can make them seem like they constantly have a fire under their ass pushing them forward. merc in sag have a talent for languages (tim speaks two fluently and at least two more enough to function).

venus in capricorn - venus is yr love language planet. it indicates how ppl feel and experience love/sex and also their feelings on what they find generally pleasurable in life. people with venus in cap can be rly withdrawn and often aren’t up front with their feelings in general but especially wrt relationships. this is PROBABLY why tim doesn’t talk abt his marriage much at all. they want loyalty and stability over all else. often attracted to partners with venus in a fire sign bc they tend to be more forward and initiate things and venus in cap doesn’t want to risk getting hurt. really slow to earn their trust.

mars in libra - mars is abt action and energy and assertiveness. it’s about drive - sex drive, ambition, what gets ppl fired up. ppl with mars in libra cannot make a fucking decision to save their lives but y’know, this is libra we’re talking about. libra placements suck at making decisions. i can say this as a libra moon who cannot commit to anything but i digress. mars in libra folks aren’t usually very social. they want permission from other people to make big moves. tend to be submissive in relationships both in general and in The Sex Way. ppl with mars in libra tend to attract more aggressive/forward/energetic partners.

jupiter in leo - jupiter symbolizes growth and expansion and how someone’s faith and ethics are. also sometimes associated with luck and fortune. ppl with jupiter in leo tend to have healthy self-confidence. they can be kinda arrogant but depending on other placements that arrogance is often not backed up. this can look like delusions of grandeur and often leads to people disliking their attitudes. as a fire alignment, there’s a lot of energy there, but it ends up being misplaced sometimes.

saturn in pisces - saturn is a bitch ass motherfucker. rules over restriction/order and maturity over time. saturn is basically that planet who will hurt you to teach u a gd lesson. the leather daddy of the planets if u will. people with saturn in pisces wanna make other peoples problems their own problems because they want to offer their emotional support, but it happens at the expense of wearing themselves thin. often really secluded private people. they have to find that balance between prioritizing themselves and prioritizing others, and if they can’t find it saturn will hurt their gd feelings.

uranus in virgo - so uranus is such a slow planet to orbit it doesn’t move sign alignments very often and can remain in the same sign for years and influence an entire generation. uranus rules over originality and freedom and revolution. ppl with uranus in virgo can be perfectionists. can be interested in things like ecology, the wellbeing of animals, and alternative medicine. gestures at tim’s 800 rescue animals and the fact that he goes to an acupuncturist. often left leaning to the point of seeming radical (this depends strongly on other placements though). big on social justice.

neptune in scorpio - neptune is also one of those slow planets. neptune rules spirituality and fantasy/imagination. ppl with this alignment can be into the occult. a huge amount of creative potential is there. this is why we saw a lot of rly influential art and music coming out of gen x folks!!

pluto in virgo - the slowest of planets. pluto is abt power and transformation. ppl with pluto in virgo can be critical and analytical. super methodical abt how they do things.

so those are the planets. there’s also a lot of other celestial bodies and points in the chart we look at also!! here they are

north node in taurus south node in scorpio - the nodes are mathematical points opposite each other in the chart. south node indicates your comfort zone and north node indicates what somebody wants out of life and has to go out of said comfort zone for. this alignment indicates somebody who struggles between holding onto things and letting shit go. TRUST ISSUES. also rly strong sexual energy that fucking asshole.

lilith in pisces - lilith is a fictional point opposite the actual moon. in mythology, lilith refused to submit to adam, rejected the world of adam & eve and decided to go chill with satan instead. which, lilith did nothing wrong but whatever. so yr lilith alignment can show what you have fascination with and what you reject about yourself. lilith in pisces people often have a fascination with self-sacrifice and often feel connected with EVERYTHING, which then leads to a lot of suffering. vulnerable to alcoholism/drug issues. people tend to find ppl with this alignment captivating but also can be intimidated/unsettled by them.

chiron in pisces - chiron is an asteroid btwn saturn and uranus. in mythology, chiron was an immortal centaur who was a healer and a teacher. he was injured by a poisonous arrow by heracles and it should have killed him but due to his immortality, he was suffering in excruciating pain but couldn’t die. he gave his immortality for prometheus and upon being sent to the underworld, zeus showed mercy on him and raised him up into the heavens as a celestial body. chiron symbolizes unhealable trauma but can also indicate how one can accept their suffering and move forward. people with chiron in pisces tend to feel the weight of the world on their shoulders and feel they’re all too aware of the suffering of other people and things like violence and injustice. these people often respond to this by helping others in some way.

SO NOW I’M GONNA GO INTO ASPECTS. which is basically how certain planets align in the chart and interact with each other. i don’t have time to describe what these terms mean cuz i’ve already been writing for an hour so just use google lmao

sun conjunct venus - highlights feminine characteristics of all genders and sexes. artistic, creative, optimistic. often fashionable. 

sun square saturn - folks with this alignment either give up at the first sign of a challenge or power thru that shit and learn from it. if this person has lower self esteem it’s generally improved by the fact they’re gratified by their own hard work.

sun square uranus - individualistic, eccentric. independent. can be inconsiderate of others. NEED to be different and NEED people to see they’re different. issues with authority.

sun square pluto - stubborn assholes. tend to be bossy and subconsciously manipulative.

moon sextile saturn - emotionally stable, reliable, helpful.

moon trine uranus - needs considerable emotional independence and freedom in a relationship and within ones family. often lead unconventional lifestyles (read: don’t work a 9-5, have polyam/open relationships, etc). MOOOOOD SWIIIIIINGS

moon sextile neptune - these folks want explanations for the world and will turn to things like religion or the occult to get answers. self-sacrificing and people tend to take advantage of them. messy home. perceptive and sensitive, especially wrt the arts

moon trine pluto - experiences emotions very fucking deeply. will express their opinions even if it’ll hurt the other person’s feelings. often closer with their mother than their father.

mercury sextile mars - quick thinkers. analytical, fast, practical.

mercury trine jupiter - open, sensitive, optimistic, kind. often into philosophy. big on traveling.

venus square mars - impulsive and enthusiastic. can be prone to losing their temper. often want impossible things.

venus square uranus - this aspect tends to complicate relationships because they literally see relationships as a loss of personal independence and autonomy. unconventional, eccentric, very original in their artistic/creative pursuits.

mars sextile jupiter - GOTTA GO FAST. always wants to be learning new things.

saturn opposition uranus - oof. these folks are often big chaotic and unpredictable. their logic sometimes only makes sense to them and it can seem they look down on other people unfairly, but it’s only because others don’t understand their thought process behind why they dislike someone.

saturn trine neptune - these people try to turn their dreams into their careers. spiritual but not necessarily religious.

saturn opposition pluto - DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY FUCKIN WANT. they have big ideas but don’t know how to get them going. can be a difficult personality type to deal with.

uranus sextile neptune - reinforces one’s sense of fantasy. can influence inspiration and originality and innovation in one’s creations.

uranus conjuction pluto - a generational alignment due to both planets being slow moving. strong, original personalities. big ideas.

neptune sextile pluto - also a generational alignment. depending on other alignments, it influences big transformations on a global scale. see: gen x

there are parallels and contra-parallels i could go into but like i have already been at this for forever and i think We Get It. and this is only half his chart without going into the houses cuz i don’t have his birth time!! that’d give us 12 more alignments to look at and tons more aspects!! so like!!! astrology is more than just yr sun sign folks. this has been me reading the fuck outta tim skold for 1600 words see ya

[kallypsowrites]

I know we talk a lot about stuff the show screwed up from the book and like, I get it, stuff was bound to get lost in translation in any adaptation. But I wanna talk about a few of my favorite show-only scenes:

1. Cersei and Robert’s conversation in season 1

In this scene we have two non POV characters discussing the state of the kingdom and their marriage. We never get a perspective from Robert in the books and nothing from Cersei until book four. At this point in the books, Cersei is a pretty unsympathetic character. We know her relationship with Robert is pretty bad, of course, but it’s filtered through Ned’s perspective.

Here, Cersei and Robert have a rare moment of truce and we get some of the best dialogue in the series. They’re not fighting. They are...resigned. Cersei puts away her hatred of the Starks to admit that Ned is a good choice for hand and she recognizes that Robert shouldn’t have dismissed him. She asks about Lyanna, something she has avoided for a very long time out of spite, because “what harm can her ghost do to us?” Robert admits that he doesn’t even remember what she looks like, which reveals that his “love” for her was probably just infatuation.

And then my favorite set of lines--

Cersei: Was there ever a chance for us, ever a moment?

Robert: No...does that make you feel better or worse?

Cersei: It doesn’t make me feel anything.

Here, two broken people confront the mess of their lives and wonder if they ever had a chance to have something good. But they didn’t, because Robert has always been his stubborn, prideful self and Cersei is just as proud and stubborn. And Cersei is resigned to it. If it made her feel something once, now that feeling is numbed.

When I first saw this scene, a scene between two characters I didn’t particularly like, I was struck by the humanness of it. Humanness we did not get at this point in the books. And it informed how I saw her afterwards. For every terrible thing she did, I wanted to know more about her.

2. Tywin and Jaime

Our first introduction to Tywin in the books is Tyrion. Understandably, Tyrion and Tywin have a complicated relationship and Tywin is always much more of a dick whenever Tyrion is around. In the show on the other hand? We first see Tywin interacting with Jaime.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Tywin is still an asshole in this scene too. It is an inherent part of his character. But it is one of the most powerful character introductions for him, and one of the first humanizing moments for Jaime.

Tywin is skinning a stag in some wonderful foreshadowing of Robert’s death in that same episode. When Jaime tries his usual quips, which we have seen work well on others, Tywin shuts him down because he sees through them. Jaime is weaker here in the presence of his father because even if he can appear unbothered to the rest of the world. And we see how many expectations Tywin puts on Jaime which he does not want, because he is supposed to be the “golden son”.

More than anything, this is Tywin’s grand entrance. For all of the damage we’ve seen in the three Lannister kids, this is the motherfucker they got it from. So many of these kids insecurities and faults trace back to Tywin being a shit dad with the emotional availability of rock. You see this scene and you’re like...ah...yep...this makes sense. And of course, we see how differently Tywin treats Jaime (someone he has high expectations for) vs how he treats Tyrion (someone he has no expectations for).

3. Robert, Barristan and Jaime

I’m sorry but there’s more than one Jaime scene on this list. Obviously like him. But his season one scenes are great on rewatch partially because of what we learn about him in season three.

So in this scene, Jaime, Barristan and Robert tell war stories, mostly on the drunken king’s request. We see that Jaime is not at all fond of Robert but also some of his admiration for Barristan Selmy as he compliments his battle techniques. He starts to let down his walls a bit during this conversation because its talking about what he’s good at: fighting.

Then Robert asks about his killing the mad king and Jaime’s wall shoots right back up.

Robert: What did the mad king say when you stabbed him in the back?

Jaime: He said the same thing he’d been saying for hours...burn them all.

We don’t know the context of this last line but when you rewatch the scene you can see what Jaime is thinking. That he killed the Mad King and saved king’s Landing, but he has only ever been scorned for it. He’s very bitter. And his bitterness shows in the next scene (which I promise is the last Jaime scene)

4. Jaime and Jory

Jaime has a brief conversation with Jory, who tries to deliever one of Ned’s messages to Robert while he’s whoring. We see how Robert makes Jaime mind the door while he’s insulting Cersei with as many women as possible. But despite the Stark and Lannister animosity, Jory tries to make conversation about when they met during the Greyjoy rebellion. Jaime’s wall starts to drop again because talking about fighting is the one thing that makes him comfortable (which is why losing his hand so shatters his identity later). It seems the two men have come to some sort of understanding.

Then Jory brings up Ned and back comes the bitterness! Jaime resents Ned so much for judging him on that day for killing the Mad King and that bitterness all comes to a head later during the street fight. Again, we don’t know why he’s so bitter yet, but it all comes across so well in this scene.

5. Sansa and Shae

Sansa and Shae have many scenes together  and I really like their friendship. The show goes a long way to develop Shae more than George ever did (only to kill her in the same way but...we can’t all get what we want). Her more genuine relationship with Tyrion is okay, but it sours for me with the season four result. But it’s her genuine friendship with Sansa that I love. 

Shae becomes protective. She gives her advice. At first Sansa snaps at her because she doesn’t trust her and she is still traumatized but eventually the two become very close. I like so many of their conversations, especially in season two and three. And Shae never blames Sansa for any part of her marriage with Tyrion which thank CHRIST for that.

6. Arya and Tywin

Anyone who has talked to me for two seconds knows how obsessed I am with these scenes. Because they are...basically the only humanizing scenes that Tywin gets at all. The very smallest bit of vulnerability. I think it really shows how much of a people person Arya is, sort of without even trying. And she really holds her own with one of the most powerful men in Westeros. She’s smart and capable and she manages to slip under Tywin’s nose even though he could have used her as a valuable hostage if he figured her out. He was starting to catch onto her toward the end, but fortunately did not. Good scenes. Love them. Very good.

7. Catelyn and Tailisa

In season three, Catleyn tells Tailisa about the time she made a wreath for Jon Snow. Now I’m a very team Catelyn sort of person. I don’t think she abused Jon so much as she just ignored him. But I think this scene is very telling. Because despite Jon not being her son and also being a potential threat to her own son as bastards often were, despite Ned’s betrayal still being fresh, Catelyn fought to keep this child alive. She prayed for him and he lived. And yes, she didn’t treat him as a son afterwards because it was still a very complicated situation. But I think this goes a long way to show that Catelyn is not the evil, Jon abusing woman that a lot of people paint her as.

8. Ramsay’s new introduction

Ramsay has a great intro in the books, but his intro in the show genuinely caught me by surprise. He seems to be completely helpful to Theon and listens to him talk about his regret. He kills the people who are after him and he seems very genuine. But then, it’s all a ruse. This scene so perfectly illustrates how Ramsay uses mind games to toy with people. I thought the number of torture scenes in season three was excessive, but this one I thought was a GREAT intro to Ramsay.

9. Arya and Lady Craine

A lot of Arya’s Bravos stuff in the show is very meh. But I love her stuff with Lady Craine because it shows that Arya is not the ‘emotionless killing machine’ that the show sometimes tries to portray her as. Arya does not kill Lady Craine because she can see that she is innocent and she does not want to kill people who haven’t earned it. Later on, her kindness drives Lady Craine to help her and they share a scene in the woman’s house. It’s really sweet and it’s nice to see Arya smile again. Beneath it all, she’s still a child and a traumatized one a that. One who lost her mother and father in a brutal way. And lady Craine gives her just a bit of maternal energy again, before dying horribly because Arya’s life is a nightmare. Still, liked this character.

10. Varys and Littlefinger sass offs

Gotta love some Varys and Littlefinger and I do love how they dance around each other all throughout seasons 1-3. They’re the kind of enemies who respect each other but still want to see the other choke. And it also because clear that while one of them is a more neutral figure who doesn’t covet the throne, the other is driving toward it with his ladder of chaos. We got a great sense of both of them in these scenes and it was great.

Look, the show has some messy parts and even some straight up bad ones (thanks Dorne arc). But it also did a lot right and even some show original scenes are worth quite a lot in my mind.

[nancylou444]

The Mandalorian 1.08 reaction

As I’m watching it......

Stop hitting the Baby, motherfucker.

Baby bit his finger. Good.

Punching babies???? What the fuck is wrong with you?????

Nurse Droid, love it. 

That’s a mighty big gun, what are you overcompensating for?

Gotta love bad guys who love to hear themselves talk. Blah blah blah

Mando’s backstory. Poor wee Din. 

Baby Yoda getting all excited on the radio. Mando thinks the worst, but IG-11 is on a rescue mission. 

Oh Shit, Mando uses the big gun on the Stormtroopers as if it weighed nothing. Badass.

OH shit. MANDO!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN, don’t want to fuck with Baby Yoda. All Hail. Then he lands on his tiny butt, exhausted. Poor baby. 

Nurse droid is not a living thing so we finally see Din’s face. 

M!Amara still lives. \o/

Damn, M!Amara is badass. 

Damn, IG-11 may not be human but he has balls. 

Mando putting his new toy to use. 

NO, she puts the Baby on the ground and he walks over to Mando, holds his leg and waits to be picked up. Too freaking precious. 

Baby looks happy to be safe in Mando’s arms again. 

She put the Mandalorian pendent on a cord around the Baby’s neck. 

Gideon has a black lightsaber, this can’t be good.

----------------------------------

In a word:

AWESOME

Mandalorians as a whole are badass, and this episode showed why. 

Baby Yoda was adorable and badass. His little coos at Mando are too precious. 

IG-11 redemption was well earned and I’m sad to see him die. 

Karga, on the other hand, I don’t trust. It wouldn’t surprise me if he backstabs Mando next season. 

I hope we see more of Cara next season. And more M!Amara, I mean the Armorer. 

RIP Kuiil.