#Yes it's the barney song

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

I love Hroo Hroo love me We're a spooky Hraamily With a great big scare, And some toxin from me to you, Won't you say you Hroo me too?

[thepandalion]

the universe doesn't feel appreciative/grateful enough that I never commit to making the horror webseries I can think up

[sunny-rants]

ok hear me out hEAR ME OUTT…Clint Barton is Preacher’s Daughter coded

[love-and-deepspace-incorrect]

MC: I love you

Xavier: You love me

MC: Yes, what the heck? You're supposed to say it back!

Xavier: Oh. I thought we're singing the song from Barney

[dont-offend-the-bees]

The Scenic Route

More dead boys! Post-canon, Payneland, pre-slash/getting together-ish, bestieism, bickering, sex talk/innuendo and soppiness. 2k. Enjoy!

Also on Ao3 (need to be signed in to read)

~

"Cheer up, Edwin," said Charles, brightly. "Might never happen."

Edwin gave Charles a look so haughty it had its own title. "It very much has happened, Charles." He sniffed and straightened out his newspaper with attitude, the rustle of it loud and sharp as a whip crack. "I don't see why we couldn't have simply hopped through the mirror and met Crystal there."

"At this point, Edwin, I'm in total fucking agreement," said Crystal, not opening her eyes. She was burrowed under her coat like a blanket, doing her best to make the uncomfortable upright seat look like a cosy bed. Fortunately this train car was basically empty, so she had space to stretch across two seats – and no one close by to comment on the floating newspaper across the table and the fact she was having a barney with it. "You're like, the worst person to travel with."

"He's just not used to taking the scenic route," Charles joked, nudging Edwin's shoulder. "Whole world out there if you look up from the crossword, mate."

"I've already finished the crossword," said Edwin.

"With my help," Crystal pointed out.

"I died in nineteen sixteen. How am I supposed to know which songstress recorded 'Strike Me Once More'?"

"’Hit Me Baby One More Time’," said Charles.

"Atrocious name for a song," Edwin muttered. "I was given to believe violence against women was frowned upon in this day and age. And yet here you are, making popular songs about it."

"It's a metaphor, innit?" said Charles. His brow furrowed. "I think. Haven't heard it."

"We get it. You're both old ," Crystal groaned. "Now shut up, I'm trying to sleep. Some of us still need to do that."

"You would've had more luck in my day," said Edwin, wrinkling his nose in distaste at their surroundings. "Decent benches, private compartments. Of course, travelling without a chaperone might’ve raised issues. I hardly think Charles and I count, given that no one but you can see us."

"And we're lads." Charles winked at her. "Fit, single lads."

Edwin gave him a withering look over his paper. "Yes, that as well." He flipped through to the personal ads, voice dry as a bone. "Lord only knows what tomfoolery we could be getting up to without supervision."

"No offense, Edwin," said Crystal. "But I don't see you and me getting up to 'tomfoolery' no matter what century we're in."

"Hm. Something else we can agree on."

"Well, I'm game," Charles grinned, folding his arms on the table and waggling his eyebrows. "Never done tomfoolery on a train before."

Crystal snorted. "Don't. Not fun. And don't ask me how I know that,” she said, cutting Charles off sharpish before he could quiz her. “Anyway, without Edwin's fancy private compartments your options are the bathroom or risk a sneaky handjob in your seat."

Edwin perked up. "There's that word again. Charles, you never did tell me what it means."

Charles winced. "Didn't I? Um. Right. Basically, yeah, it's when you..." 

"If you're gonna sit here giving grandpa a sex ed class, I am definitely getting up for coffee," Crystal muttered, throwing her coat aside and levering out of her seat. 

"Sure you don't wanna weigh in?" Charles called after her. He fully expected the middle finger she flipped him before stomping off down the aisle.

"So," said Edwin primly, newspaper set down in exhange for his notebook. He was poised and at the ready with his pen in two seconds flat. "Handjobs."

Charles squirmed. "It's not exactly arcane knowledge, mate," he said, struggling to look Edwin in the eye. "It's when you..." he made a strangled noise, and a descriptive hand gesture. "Y'know. For another bloke."

Edwin watched his hand, and realisation dawned. "Ah,"  he said, slowly tucking his book and pen away. "Indeed." He sniffed. "Crude name."

"Well, what would you call it?"

"Well. I haven't an equivalent term for the act as... bequeathed to another, so to speak.”

Charles bit his lip, holding back a grin. Who the fuck else in his life would use bequeathed in normal conversation? In a sex conversation? He crossed his arms before he could do something stupidly soppy and fond, like drop his head onto Edwin's shoulder and ask him to list his favourite words.

Edwin carried right on, oblivious to Charles' little moment. “But my father would've referred to the solo variation as ‘self-abuse’."

Charles snorted. "'Course he would."

"Yes, it was... a different time." He picked up his newspaper with an air of rigid discomfort. "People are certainly much more liberal in that regard nowadays."

"Yeah. Nowadays." Charles watched him closely. He'd always been a buttoned-up sort of chap, but. Since all that stuff in Port Townsend, with Monty and that bloody Cat King he'd... opened up, sort of. Wasn't going out snogging people or reading dirty mags in the office or anything, 'least not as far as Charles knew. But there was a curiosity in him, now. Something in those keen eyes that sparked up, latched onto certain things. All still wrapped up in good old fashioned Edwardian manners, of course, but Charles knew Edwin like the back of his hand – and he knew what his face did when he was interested in something. Just so happened what he'd been interested in lately was, well. Blokes. Some more than others. "You never try it then?" Charles teased. "The old, uh. Self-abuse?"

Edwin couldn't exactly, literally blush on account of being dead, but Charles could spot the signs. "Privacy was hard to come by," he said, carefully measured.

Charles raised his eyebrow. "But not impossible?"

"...No. No, not impossible." He cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should change the subject. Crystal will be returning shortly. Impolite to discuss it in mixed company."

Charles chuckled and sank back in his seat, casting his eyes out the window. The countryside rolled by, arid and golden. "Never been to France before."

"I suppose we haven't had any cases lead us here," said Edwin. "Nor have we had the need to travel through it," he added, voice clipped and curt. "Up until recently , that is."

"Got a right bee in your bonnet about the bloody travelling, haven't you?" said Charles. "C'mon, mate. Not like you and me are short of time, innit? Got all eternity to sit on bloody trains if we want to."

"I can think of better things to do with our time."

"Well – think of Crystal, yeah?" Charles reasoned. "I mean, she's alive. She's got what, eighty years or something left to be alive. How d’you think she feels 'bout having to spend half of it on public fucking transport?"

Edwin sighed. "Being alive was rather inefficient, in retrospect."

"I'm just saying... don't hurt to keep her company, eh?" He offered his best winning smile – and he had a good winning smile. “She's one of us, in't she?

Edwin rolled his eyes, but for once he didn't argue – Charles had him, and he knew it. "I'll... endeavour to be lenient," he offered.

"That's right big of you,” said Charles. He let their knees knock under the table. "Don't worry, not saying you have to be nice or anything. Just give the grumbling a rest for a bit, yeah?"

Edwin smirked. "Very wise of you to manage your expectations. 'Nice' is not a particular specialty of mine."

"I know." Charles grinned. "That's alright. I like it when you're a rude prick."

Edwin looked at him, and the hard lines of his face softened some. "Yes, you do seem to," he said; light, fond . "An ailment for which I fear there's no cure."

Charles ducked his head, smiling something daft. "We should do France properly sometime,” he said. “Go to Paris. Bet there's a load of old bookshops and that in Paris.”

Edwin brightened, with a little happy hum. "Capital idea, Charles. I haven't had reason to practice my French in some years." Then he sighed, proper dramatic. "Though I suppose we'll be taking the train again."

"Depends on if Crystal wants to come."

"Why wouldn't she?" Some of the stiffness had returned to Edwin's shoulders, but he was doing an alright job of hiding it. Anyone who wasn't Charles might not've noticed at all. "I daresay you two will want to take in the romantic sights while I peruse the booksellers."

Charles chuckled. 

Edwin flashed him an annoyed look. "It's a fair assumption."

"Yeah, well, we're not exactly like that."

"Is that so?"

Charles shrugged. "Had a bit of fun, but. She's still figuring some stuff out. Not looking for anything serious."

Edwin hummed, tightly, eyes fixed on the newspaper. 

Charles swallowed the lump of anxiety in his throat, and flicked the corner of the paper to get his attention. "Besides: had some stuff to figure out myself, too, haven't I?"

Edwin froze, the paper rustling in his hands as his fingers tightened on it. "Oh." He glanced furtively to Charles, while obviously trying not to look furtive. For a detective, he was a right crap actor, sometimes. "Yes. How is that... progressing?"

Charles rolled his neck, tilting his face in Edwin's direction. Edwin looked right strange, perched all prim and proper on the polyester train seat with its bowling alley fabric pattern. Charles could almost squint and see through time, to how he would've looked on a train in the nineteen hundreds; surrounded by wood panels and velvet, by family who wouldn't touch him unless it was to fix his hair, straighten his bowtie. He looked out of place here – but he was right next to Charles, so actually, he was exactly where he ought to be. And the afternoon sun on the yellow fields looked dead pretty scattered across his cheekbones and his nose and that neat, handsome sweep of dark hair from his temple.

Yeah. Charles was figuring a thing or two out, alright.

He looked away and fidgeted, trying to shut his eyes and settle back in his seat in a way that looked relaxed, unbothered – and not like he was trying to avoid looking too closely at his best mate's lips or his eyes or his long, clever fingers. "Let's make it just a you and me thing," he said. "Paris, I mean."

There was a moment of quiet, then the sound of Edwin's newspaper coming to rest on the plastic table. "...Yes. Yes, I'd like that."

Charles smiled, and let the rhythmic motion of the train roll over him – if he had a heart, it'd be thumping in time to the clickety-clack on the tracks. He couldn't sleep, not even in the dark behind his eyelids, but he could daydream. Imagine that he could feel the sun on his face, the vibration at his back.

And while he was at it, he could reach out, just a little, and hook his pinky finger through Edwin's. Just 'cause.

A very, very small laugh escaped Edwin – almost like a runaway gasp. "I suppose," he said, mildly. "The scenic route has its charms."

 ~

Soon, the thud of Crystal's boots rejoined them, along with Crystal herself. Charles didn't even need to open his eyes, so he didn't bother.

“Charles,” Crystal greeted – and then, curtly: “Edwin.”

“Crystal.” Edwin replied, with matching coolness. But the ice soon broke on an audible, weary sigh. “Truce?” he offered.

She took a loud, long, deliberate swig of coffee before answering. Her and Edwin were peas in a dramatic, petty little pod, much as neither of them wanted to admit it. “...Truce.”

Edwin cleared his throat. “Yes. Very good.” Then, after a moment: “Thank you for your patience.”

The sounds of Crystal getting resettled stopped abruptly. Charles opened his eyes and found her half in her seat, hand and coffee cup on the table, staring at Edwin like he'd grown an extra head.

"So you're in, like… a good mood, now?” she said. “That was almost an apology. What'd I miss?”

Charles glanced sideways. Edwin had his face angled to the window – and a small, soft smile barely tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Oh," said Edwin lightly. His finger twitched around Charles’, just a little. Almost a squeeze. "Nothing of import."

Charles fought – and failed – to suppress a grin.

Crystal looked between them. "Charles. You didn't like..." She made the same crude handjob gesture he'd done earlier. "Give him a demonstration ...?"

Edwin squawked in indignation, Charles burst into surprised, sheepish laughter; and the golden fields outside the window gave way to row upon endless row of lavender and grapevine as Provence rolled alongside them, painting the plodding hours in green and purple.

And Edwin only complained about it ten, maybe eleven more times. New record, that!

~

Hope you liked it! Consider dropping us a comment or a reblog if you did 😊

Wrote this in part to distract myself from a horrifically busy train ride, in part as wish fulfilment while daydreaming about a world where the British public transit system isn't in shambles and I can get on a cross country train that isn't cancelled and sit in my pre-reserved seat as planned. Written and posted on my phone so apologies if that's reflected in the form and formatting!

Til next time!

[harunayuuka2060]

MC: Barney.

Mephistopheles: *breathes in* What?

MC: ...

MC: *beams* Can I hug you?

Mephistopheles: Are you going to sing that stupid song again?

MC: Yes. It makes the hug special.

Mephistopheles: Then no.

[reginageorgesgirlfriend3020]

Caitlin Clark as your girlfriend headcannons (Part 2)

Even if it’s for a late night drive or even during a nice cold day during the weekend she will pick you up and just drive around while you play the music

When she was just starting to get over Connor she played the song foolish by Ashanti and you and her stared singing with the music loud

And at that moment she knew that you’re the one for her

She felt so uneasy with Connor a lot. But with you she felt at ease. Like she can tease you playfully and joke around with you and playfully call you Barney because of your purple hair

And speaking of teasing and poking fun at you she loves to poke fun at you because you really can’t sing and neither can she

But y’all don’t care when the music is on it makes you and her wanna do a little karaoke in the car

One night at midnight she picked you up and you and her were talking about how you wrote stories about her on tumblr

And how Caitlin reads your stories and loves the way you tell a good story and how strong your imagination is for her and about her

She made you blush! She’s been trying to make you blush for a bit now and she finally succeeded in doing so hehehehe

She stopped by a gas station and got you and her something to drink after she put gas in her car

You slept over at her house that night. You and Caitlin were cuddling and she kissed your forehead. “I love you”. She said to you

You smiled hard. “I love you”. You said

And you and Caitlin fell asleep cuddling each other (With her as the big spoon).

You were still sleeping. She woke up and made coffee. She gently grabbed your face and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Wake up pretty girl!!” Caitlin said

And you started giggling.

“By the way I have a request. I wanna be your girlfriend”. She said confidently

“You already are”. You said

Caitlin stuck her lip out and pouted. “But I wanna ask you agaaaiiiin!” She said

You chuckled. “Yes I’ll be your girlfriend”. You said

And Caitlin gave you a huuuge huuuge kiss on your lips.

Waking up like this and waking up with someone as kind and beautiful as Caitlin isn’t such a bad thing. But an amazing thing

[ravisinghs-wife]

Could i request ravi singht dating headcanons?:)

Ravi Singh dating hc

words: 0.7k

warnings: mentions of eating, includes spoilers (let me know if I missed anything!)

a/n: English isn't my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes Masterlist

You met through school

You never really talked to each other until you were assigned for a biology project in ninth grade

You met at his house to work on the project

You don’t get it done because you and him can’t stop talking and laughing 

When the project is done and you turned it in you remain friends 

He asks you out after you guys had to run home because it suddenly started raining

It’s like straight out of a cliche romance movie

You (of course) say yes

Your first date takes place at the roller skating center

If you don’t know how to drive them he’ll teach you

But I you do, you drive together in peace while smiling like idiots

But anyway

THE CUDDLES

This man gives amazing cuddles

He will literally hold you so tight that you can’t escape 

You always listen to love songs while cuddling 

He’s a clingy man

You guys are like a fluffy ball when you watch a movie with Pip and cara

They find it disgusting

He loves to bake

You have this weekly ritual with him in which you bake something every Saturday afternoon so you have something yummy to eat while watching a movie on Sunday

It often doesn’t survive until the next day because you eat it earlier <;33

He is obsessed with marvel, because I just decided that

So when he finds out that you never watched a marvel movie, he makes it his mission to watch every movie/every show with him 

(If you already watched them, you guys still watch them together and fangirl over Wanda)

You always watch the new movies on the release date in the cinema together 

On time you aren’t able to watch them directly together because your exams and he’s super overdramatic about it

„Are you really choosing chemistry over antman??😟“

He’s just joking tho

Ravi will help you study and you guys are able to watch the movie together a few days later

He’s your biggest hype man

You would be just standing in the corner and watering the plats and he would be amazed by your presents

READING DATES<333

In the summer you always prepare a picnic basket, a blanket, a good book and go on a biking or hiking date

The main fokus of the date is the reading (besides spending time with eachother) so you take a break every few beautiful stops to sit down to enjoy the view and read a bit

Dating Ravi also means being best friend with pip<3

Sometimes you would borrow barney and take a walk through the park with him

(Let’s just pretend that Jason never killed him)

Over the time you do it more often and it becomes a ritual for you both when you are stressed over something are just need to get outside

Pip pretends to be annoyed over it for some times because she „isn’t able to walk with the love of her life anymore because her stupidly in love friends just recently found out about how amazing dogs are“

Her words 

She actually doesn’t mind that much about it since she’s been stressed more and more because of her podcast and Cambridge and you two are just too adorable to stay mad for too long

Comforting him over sal<3

Everytime he gets anxious or sad about it you are there to give him comforting hugs and prepare him his favorite tea

PET NAMES

He’s obsessed with him

He will call you love, darling et cetera et cetera 

When your native language isn’t English he’ll suprise you by learning some words in your native language and also the pet names from your native language 

It will take him a whole day to learn some sentences and words in you native language on duolingo, but it’s worth in the end

He would do anything for that smile you showed him when he called you by a pet name in your native language, perfectly pronounced

When you move out and get your own home you decorate it super comfy and gorgeous

You’re getting a cat<33

It’s a  beautifully orange cat that loves to cuddle<3

You call her Betty, inspired by your favorite Taylor swift song 

(No one of you guys cheated on another, you just love the song lol)

[izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin]

Hi moots I was you all to listen to these songs in the EXACT order that I put them in, I'm only asking y'all to do this cus THERE SUCH BANGER SONGS!!! AND INCREDIBLY AWESOME AT GIVING INSPO WHEN YOU DESPERATELY NEED IT!!!!

Oh and pls watch Dead End Paranormal Park!!! It's a really good show that I think y'all will like :] oh and it's on Netflix btw, and yes the songs are 20 times better when you actually watch the show :D

@random-obsseser @mrfellsans @cutechan555 @keylimepizzapie @gummy-axolotl @chaotichyperfixations

[nostalgic-woodwind]

It’s Okay to Cry

CG!Husk, CG!Fat Nuggets, and Regressor!Angel

Plot: Angel has been crying nonstop, and Husk doesn’t know why.

Request by @yourneurodivergentlady

Heavily inspired and based on “The Crying Dame” from The Loud House

“It’s Okay to Cry” belongs to Barney and Friends

Husk looked at his phone to check the time as he held Angel in his arms. The spider regressed to a headspace equivalent of a newborn and had been crying for about two hours. Husk didn’t know why or what had gotten Angel so upset. The caregiver tried everything to stop his tears. Angel didn’t need a change, he wasn’t sick, and he wasn’t hungry. Husk tried putting Angel down for a nap, but that was also unsuccessful since he wasn’t tired either. Fat Nuggets tried cheering the little spider with his comfort items (Angel’s Rainbow Puppy and Twinkle stuffies and favorite Blue’s Clues paci), but to no avail.

“I know, today’s just not a good day, is it?” Husk comforted in a soft, hushed tone as he rocked Angel from side to side.

Husk put Angel down on his bed to text Charlie for advice. Angel instantly bawled louder because of this.

“It’s okay, Legs. I just gotta text Charlie,” Husk said as Fat Nuggets climbed on the bed and walked over to Angel, nuzzling his cheek to calm him down. “She’ll help us understand why you’re feeling sad.”

Husk then texted Charlie on his phone.

Husk: “Hey, Charlie, I need help.”

Charlie: “Sure thing, I’m on my way.”

The winged cat sighed with relief as he put his phone away. He picked Angel back up and gave him a gentle bounce. A few minutes later, Charlie arrived.

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked.

“Do you know how to get littles to stop crying?” Husk questioned. “Fat Nuggets and I’ve tried everything for Angel and nothing’s working.”

Charlie scratched her chin as she thought long and hard about Husk’s question.

“How long has Angel been crying for?”

“Two hours,” Husk replied. “I just… I don’t know. I feel like I’m doing something wrong here.”

“No, no, it’s not that at all,” Charlie reassured Husk as she put her hand on his shoulder. “You and Fat Nuggets are doing a good job taking care of Angel while he’s little. I think it’s because littles who regress to an infantile headspace are similar to actual babies. Sometimes, babies cry for no reason, no matter what we do to soothe them.”

“So, what should we do?”

“Just let Angel cry it out and continue comforting him for as long as he needs it. No matter what age, we all need a good cry every now and then. I promise you, it’s nothing that you’ve done.”

Husk smiled a bit as Charlie rubbed the still-wailing spider’s back and walked out of the cat’s room. The caregiver then carried Angel to his rocking chair and sat down.

“You hear that, kiddo? We all need a good cry sometimes, and you know what? It’s perfectly okay to cry,” Husk said as he began slowly rocking Angel in his arms. “Just let it out. I’m right here, and so is Fat Nuggets. We’re gonna be here for you, no matter what.”

Fat Nuggets walked over to the rocking chair and climbed onto Angel’s lap to join in comforting him. Husk cleared his throat and began to sing.

When you feel a tear in your eye,

it usually means you want to cry,

So if you've hurt and it hurts real bad

Or if you have feelings that are making you sad,

Then it's okay, it's okay to cry.

‘Cause I know that when I'm done crying,

I can talk about what's bothering me

And though my face gets wetter,

I feel much better

If I talk about what's bothering me.

Crying is nature's way

Of helping bad feelings go away.

So if you've been hurt or are feeling bad,

Whether you're a kid or a mom or a dad,

It's okay, it’s okay to cry.

‘Cause I know that when I'm done crying,

I can talk about what's bothering me

And though my face gets wetter,

I feel much better

If I talk about what's bothering me.

Yes, that works for me.

Angel sniffled after the song, his cries subsiding to whines and whimpers.

“Shh, it’s okay, kiddo. You’re gonna be okay,” Husk smiled softly and continued rocking the spider until he felt better.

[taschamonnii]

Enchanted

You x Wanda Maximoff (MCU WandaVision - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Angst/Smut

Summary: Enchanted strap because Wanda wants babies. There is still a plot and big sad energy because I have many issues. You get a back story so that things matter more and hit harder. Yes I am ridiculously adding feelings to some weird smut. 

TW: SMUT, 18+, Enchanted Strap, Impregnating, GP!

Here is the title song: Enchanted By Taylor Swift 

AN: I don’t want to talk about it. We are all going to hell and I am just dragging you all along with me lol I just have been seeing a lot of GP! With Wanda but most of the time it is Wanda with the GP! & I thought about how much she craves a family and got a weird idea. What can I say? My brain is a strange place. I really hope you all like it I surprised myself and really enjoyed writing it. I may want to write more of it but I just don't know if anyone else wants to see it.

Before you say anything just look at her and tell me you wouldn't do anything she asked!

Word Count: 2,632 

Imagine This:

You are married to Wanda Maximoff. You both escaped the hero and villain scene after a close call. Wanda refused to lose you like she had lost everyone else she loved. You live in a cabin in the woods that is at the edge of a small town. You live a normal life. Well as normal as you can be with a witch as a wife and your own powers of hypersensitivity and mind reading. You both were part of the Avengers for a while. You were there after she had already lost Pietro. But you witnessed first hand losing Vision. 

You were friends, all the avengers cared for each other that is what made you a team. However, you had a crush on Wanda the instant you saw her but you were always on different missions and Natasha told you her and Vision were a thing so you pushed your crush aside. You didn’t have time for it anyway Natasha was training you on basically everything and she consumed most of your time. Nevertheless, you became close friends with Wanda and Vision because Nat really cared for Wanda.

You may or may not have had a fling with Nat but it was supposed to be strictly physical even though half the time it ended up being cuddling. Things all changed when that ugly purple asshole came to earth and fucked everything. You had arrived with Nat to try and help even though your powers are practically useless in the battle scenarios. You end up trapped with Nat as Thanos surrounds you both by the earth with a stone. You watch helplessly as everyone tries to fight the Barney looking bastard. Until there is no one left except Wanda who is falling apart as she slowly destroys Vision's mind stone and in turn Vision. You can feel her pain even from where you are trapped. Her thoughts are so loud, it is as if her soul is screaming and crying and it shatters your heart. You watch on as she has to fight off Thanos as she continues to destroy the stone. The flash and force of her destroying the stone blinds you for a moment and when you look again she is on the ground and Thanos is touching her head. You have to watch as he turns back the time and throws her aside as he takes Visions stone. Wanda’s soul only screams louder to you. You watch as people start to turn to dust all around you and you grab Natasha’s hand squeezing it for dear life. You watch Wanda fade into dust into nothing and hear her soul's last strangled cry; it sounds like relief. 

Natascha squeezes your hand harder. You look at her and both fight to escape and manage to get free running right to where Wanda just was. Nat gasps and folds in on herself grabbing at her sister's vest. You catch her before she falls to the ground. You know her sister and all the lives just lost weigh heavy on her. Her soul cries and you hold her thankful you still have her. She is your best friend and honestly all you really have. Especially now. 

You work with Nat and the others that remain to figure out a plan to fix this, to bring everyone back. The plan was good. The plan worked but not without great sacrifice. You didn’t get to time travel, you had your own part to play. You hugged Natasha before she left and you wish you had never let her go, not that you could have stopped her. 

Your mission was to retrieve people who come back if it worked. You went and waited in Wakanda. You brought Wanda and the others back and you consoled her the best you could. You understood the grief you’d lost all your family long ago and this whole thing just brought all that pain back to the surface. Wanda’s grief was the most painful thing you’d ever felt. Well except for the pain and grief you both feel when you return and learn Natasha sacrificed herself.

 You both fell to the floor in a pile holding each other like your lives depended on it because well they did. You stayed practically hooked together barely ever letting go of some kind of physical contact. You share Nats bed and fall asleep crying wrapped up in each other. The team builds on the original plan to destroy Thanos for good. You and Wanda are on autopilot. You both have no one left. Sure there is Clint and the others who care about you both but no one else understands. The night before the epic end-all fight you confess your fears even though you know Wanda can hear them and you can hear hers and they are the same. You are afraid you will lose each other. You decide to voice your locked away feelings and kiss her. 

The kiss is everything, it is life altering and she feels it too. It slows down time. It makes you both gasp for air and cling to each other harder. Like finding the last piece of a puzzle everything suddenly fits and makes sense and you can see a future with her something you’ve both never had the chance to dream of let alone have. 

The battle is epic. Wanda almost kills Thanos all on her own. You think she would have if he hadn’t sabotaged his own soldiers to escape her wrath. You’ve never seen her so angry. You were stationed on a ship with others that didn’t have battle powers. Unfortunately the ship wasn’t a safer place and it got hit. Wanda barely got to you in time as it went down. When she did get to you she didn’t let you go. The way her soul spoke to you refusing to lose you. You locked your gaze on hers and had to fight tears getting lost in her tear filled emerald eyes. A silent promise was made between you. Your souls promise to never let go and never leave the other. 

The battle ended soon after. Tony’s self sacrifice overshadowed everyone else especially Natasha’s and it was the extra solidification for you and Wanda to finally leave this life to go live a peaceful one alone. 

That is how you ended up here in this little cozy cabin in the woods on the outskirts of a precious small town you call home. Happily married to Wanda. It’s been a few years and you both have never known peace like this. She is so happy and you are determined to keep her as happy as possible for the rest of your lives. So when she starts to talk about this aching feeling of missing something you try your hardest to understand. 

She wants a family, a real family with you. She wants babies. More specifically, she wants to be pregnant. Even more specifically she wants you to get her pregnant and that you thought was pretty impossible but you have learned not to underestimate her powers. She wants everything her comforting sitcoms have and she is determined to have it all with you. 

And that is how you have found yourself in this situation. 

You are laying on your shared bed naked and flat on your back. She is naked on her knees in-between your legs. Her gaze is focused and intense; her green eyes map out every inch of you. 

She nibbles on her bottom lip, a nervous habit. "I trust you, Wanda." 

She glances up and meets your gaze, you're confident in her and trust her with your life. She moves to lean over you and lowers her lips to yours, capturing them in a searing kiss. A promise shared to be cautious as you both proceed. She leans back and smiles down at you. "I love you, y/n."

"I love you too, Wanda." 

Her gaze falls between your legs and red illuminates the room as she begins to manipulate reality. You hold yourself up on your elbows to watch completely in awe as a penis forms between your legs. You never thought this would be something you'd want. You admit you'd thought about what it would be like to be a man but never pictured you'd ever be like this. 

Her magic fades and she slowly takes it in her soft hands and fuck her hands are softer than ever as she gently touches it. Touches you. You can feel everything. You can't help the soft sigh that leaves your lips and her gaze shoots up to your face. 

"y/n, are you okay, my sweet girl?" 

You nod "MMMM mmm hmm"

"Can you feel it?"

She runs her slender fingers up to the tip and slides her thumb softly over the slit there. 

"Yes fuck Wanda that feels way too good. I don't know if I will be able to handle being inside you like this. It's so sensitive." 

"I'll go slow." 

You can feel it twitch and move on its own in her hands and as her deep raspy voice surrounds you. God you love her! 

She leans down and you watch in awe as she just ghosts her lips against the tip. It feels like when she teases your clit with soft kisses only 100 times stronger! You can't help the whimper that leaves your lips. 

She smirks and you can hear her thoughts. "I can't wait to taste you!"

"Fuck Wanda!"

She softly licks the tip and you throw your head back with a moan. 

It feels so hard it's almost like it's pulsing like when your clit throbs begging for friction. She reads you and wraps her lips around the tip bringing it into her warm mouth. 

"Fuck Wanda I can't! I'm gonna ah!" 

She sucks gently and flicks her tongue and holds the rest of the shaft in her long slender fingers that you usually love inside of you. It's overwhelming, it's too much and you can't stop your hips from gently bucking. Your hands fist the sheets. 

She sucks harder and squeezes you in her hands and that's it you erupt tumbling over the edge. A sort of plus runs up the shaft as you feel yourself cum and it's intense and weird to feel it shoot out the tip. It's short squirts pulsating. She moans and the vibrations have you whimpering. She sucks the tip dry with a pop and licks her lips. "You taste the same. Absolutely delicious!" 

The way she talks and looks at you while she licks her lips has you twitching for more. You want her more than anything else. You run your hands through her hair and tug her up. You kiss her lips nipping softly at her lower lip. "Sit on my face. I need to taste you." 

She whimpers as she kisses you harder. She moves effortlessly to hover over you and you can see how wet she is. You hold her hips and guide her closer. You latch onto her sucking and flicking your tongue. She moans breathlessly and you can feel yourself getting hard again. You can't get enough of her. You suck harder and she pulls your hair as she rocks her hips. Her legs squeeze around your head and you moan into her, sending her over the edge and making her crumple forward. She pulls away far too quickly but you can see it in her gaze as she slides her wet core against your abs. She leaves a trail down your body and you feel yourself twitch hard. 

You groan as she lowers herself. She runs her slick heat against you and you twitch even more, getting harder she slicks your entire member and lifts herself up. Her gaze is locked on it so she can line herself up and your gaze is locked on her. 

She glances up to check in and you nod before you both glance back down to watch her slick wet heat surround you. She goes slowly. She squeezes you tightly as she lowers herself all the way. You both sigh with relief. 

She lifts back up halfway and slowly goes back down and you have to throw your head back as a moan escapes your throat. She's so wet and as she slowly moves she feels hotter. She bottoms out and just gyrates her hips for a bit and you can feel that you fit perfectly inside her fully. “You hit every spot baby. AH! You feel so good!” 

She leans over you slowly coming down to kiss your lips. The position has you only half inside her and your body reacts needing to be inside her more. You bend your legs and move your hips sliding all the way in. You both moan into the kiss being able to feel so much pleasure with her whole body on top of you breasts pressed together and lips locked is fucking phenomenal! The angle also allows her to match your hips and soon you both find a rhythm that feels far too good. “I can’t do this for long. Wanda your so tigh-FUCK! You feel so GOOD!”

She hums happily against your neck and bites down sucking hard to leave her mark on your neck and it’s too much to have her all over you to feel her blazing skin and sweet sweat and hard nipples. Her hot breath against your skin, her tongue on your pulse all while being inside her tight soaking wet heat. 

You buck your hips out of rhythm and she sits up putting her hands on your breasts as she looks down at you. She smirks and then you feel her tighten around you. You can’t stop the whimper that leaves your lips as she continues to purposely contract around you. You grab her hips hard. She sighs and moans and squeezes your boobs hard as she constricts you and slightly moves her hips up like she is trying to milk you and it works. You erupt even harder than before. Hot strings of your cum shoot inside her and have her coming hard pulsing and contracting around you even harder. She presses her hips down hard holding onto you making sure you fill her up as much as possible. It is a sight to see. Your hands grip her sides harder and she squeezes your breasts harder. Her own nipples are so hard you want them in your mouth desperately. 

Her gaze finally meets yours after you both catch your breath “fuck that was so good baby I feel so full.” 

She leans down and presses her lips to yours and moves her hands to tug your hair. Her hard nipples graze yours and you are so overwhelmingly sensitive that your body jolts and she bites your bottom lip. You whimper as she releases your lip from between her teeth. “Next time will be even better I want to fuck you so many different ways like this Wanda.”

“Mmm you have no idea baby girl I have so many ideas. I love coming with you!”

She sat up and bit her bottom lip before fidgeting with her fingers. You know she wants to ask something but she is blocking you from hearing her thoughts and she is hesitating. You sit up and suppress a groan at the feel of moving at all while still deep inside her. You  caress her cheek softly with concern written on your face. “What is it, love?”

Her gaze locks on to you and your gaze softens. Her emerald eyes are so full of love.

“Would you let me get you pregnant? We could be pregnant together. We could create our family faster.”

AN: Who wants to see Wanda get the reader pregnant in the same way? Should I continue this or was this a horrible idea? 

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

I fear you, you fear me We're a spooky family With a great big injection, and some violent dancing from me to you Won't you say you fear me too?

[quietlyimplode]

Clintasha Advent (8)

Prompt: Clintasha - Christmas Lights

For/Prompter: @oceanspirit9

Warnings: fluff(yes I know)

Word count: 711

A/N: this had the option of going two ways. I think I liked this one more. <3 thank you for the prompt, I hope that it’s something like you were thinking.

.

8am.

The house is small, but it doesn’t dissuade Clint. Natasha arrives at 7pm and he’s convinced he can get it done. Grinning, he cups his coffee and sips it slowly, the plan forming in his head.

First, he needs to shower and get rid of the cobwebs of sleep, then fold the clothes they’d left strewn everywhere.

Both had left in an emergency mission, on opposite sides of the country. Natasha travelling further to Maine whilst Clint travelled to California.

She’s promised she’s be back by Christmas, knowing how much it meant to him for them to be together on a day that religiously meant nothing but sentimentality meant a lot.

He takes out the lights and stares at the tangle.

10am.

Plugging in the first set, he decides that these are the ones for the trees. The two little Christmas trees that stand at their front door, are easily dressed.

He stands up and looks to where he wants to hang the house decorations and wishes he’d asked Steve for some help, maybe even Tony.

Some super strength and the ability to fly would really help.

But it’s just him.

And he will have to do.

The next set of lights are larger. More tangled.

He sighs and gets to work.

12pm.

Rubbing his hands together, Clint begins to climb the ladder, focusing carefully on each of his steps as he adjusts the string of lights in his hands.

He thanks Barney for teaching him how to step easily and lightly on high platforms and then starts to place the lights.

He smiles to himself, a song in his step as clips them on the lights, focussing on placing them all along the side of the house.

Clint slips, steadys himself and focuses on the next.

He ticks off in his head what’s next.

Roof done, small trees, he thinks he wants to place the the little tiny light up trees on the path.

Deciding on doing that first, before lunch, he climbs off the roof and turns them on.

Heh, he thinks, he doesn’t need super strength or the ability to fly.

He’s got mad skills.

2pm.

Clint looks around the house, he feels himself losing steam. He’s done so much in the opening hours of the day that fatigue pulls at him.

He’s ready for a nap.

4pm.

He doesn’t want to get up, the warm sun making him feel like a cat in a patch of light. Thirty minutes, he thinks, then he’ll start making dinner.

5.30pm.

Clint awakes with a start.

Shit.

He’s overslept.

He wanted to make her favourite to go with the lights.

He turns them on anyway, the sky darkening as if to invite the lights on.

Tiny little light globes light his world, their colours making the outside and the inside of the house glow.

He loves it. He knows she’s going to as well.

Starting on dinner, he puts on Christmas music, letting it echo throughout the house.

He gets a message on his phone as he puts the dinner in the oven, with two words that makes him grin.

“Almost home.”

7pm.

Natasha yawns.

Paying the driver, she steps out and pulls her bag with her.

All she wants is food and a shower.

She knows Clint has the former sorted as he’d sent her photos but the latter felt like a marathon.

Until.

She sees the house in all its glory.

Bright lights adorn the outside, outlining the house. Thousands of lights shining. She walks the path of small little lights in the shapes of trees and then finds Clint standing at the door with a Christmas hat on.

“What do you think?”

She has no words.

Maybe it’s that no one has bothered to do anything like this for her before. Never had made something for her.

“I love it,” she says in awe.

“Thank you.”

She kisses him at the door and he grabs her bag helping her inside.

“I made your favourite,” he smiles.

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I get to spend it with you.”

She can’t help but smile, hiding her face, overcome with emotion as tears well at the gesture.

“Go shower,” Clint prompts.

“I’ll be waiting when you get back.”

.

1/ Clint/Nat/Laura + traditions

2/ Clintasha + temporary blindness

3/ Clint/Nat/Maria + traditions

4/ Natasha and Yelena watch the stars

5/ Clintasha - stab wounds + wrapping presents

6/ Clint/Nat + Maria - gift buying (early shield days)

7/ Clint/Nat - taking lucky for a walk when it starts to snow

[punk-chicken-radio]

are you cool?

i think both @theoldsmelly and myself are far too old to care much about this question anymore. i mean the universe has certainly decreed by now that we obviously are...but that's neither here nor there.

you might think that 'being cool' has pretty set parameters that you must align with to earn the moniker. you'd, of course, be wrong. here at ye olde pcr we are firm believers that being cool is just being yourself. even if you are truly weird, square, or heavens to betsy, a real fucking nerd.

what we have done today that is pretty cool, is get a bunch of songs about being cool, and a bunch about being uncool, because honestly, cool is in the eye of the beholder. one person's 'this mf is watching barney miller reruns and dancing to a nkotb song what a total spaz' is another person's true love and the coolest person on the planet to them.

you know what's next if yer cool....

love (fixed it so you can see) axiomatic and the old (cool 😎) smelly

[the-badger-mole]

Can We Talk About Peggy?

In this weeks episode of Shows I Watch, But Don't Talk About Online Much, I want to visit the perennial cultural zeitgeist that is King of the Hill. Specifically, I want to talk about Peggy Hill.

I have seen King of the Hill the entire way through at least 3 times, and also watched it in bits and pieces over the years. There is one thing I don't understand. Why do people hate Peggy? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she's a moral paragon, she does do some pretty seriously crazed up nonsense. But that's the point. The point is that Peggy is an absurd character. Do people not understand how boring the show would be without Peggy there sprinkling her special blend of chaos? What would the show be without her having an existential crisis because her son is a better homemaker than she is? What would be the point of tuning in if she didn't occasionally become an accidental fetish star? If she didn't take things too far in the name of the people she loved? Let me tell you how loud I cackled when she almost murdered that singer that stole her song.

To me, Peggy Hill is right up there with Barney Stinson and Bender as monsters who mostly mean well. Yes, they are awful, but they are also hilarious and we love them for it. I feel like people don't like Peggy because she's not the stereotype magic homemaker wife and mom who always knows best and is the one rescuing her dumb man-babies out of a jam with her down home mama's intuition. To those people I say, your version of Peggy is boring. Let Peggy live her best chaotic neutral life!

[animated-white-canvas]

Color Wheel Challenge (Orange)

Funnily enough, I grew up on Barney more than this lovable bear. But I love him and his friends and I've grown to appreciate the calm nature of this show as I've gotten older. Also yes, the 'Goodbye song' is so sweet, but I'm partial to the 'bear cha-cha-cha' myself!