#Yes I do! Made a bet with myself that if I had a 50 dollar bill with me (no more no less) I’d purchase it. So yea

[noctilionoidea]

sometimes in life you spend 40 bucks at an antique store for a 1920s replica of the Mycenaean origin vapheio cup.

My soul sings but my wallet weeps

[blubushie]

Tell us about Vegas?

YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE [BUSHMAN GUSSIED UP] ROUTE!

A TALE OF HIGH-ROLLERS

Warnings: Absolutely none! This a fun story. :]

So in November of 2021 (yes, a month before the Pig Incident) I went back to the US to see my family for a bit. I came back loaded with cash as a peace offering for my family (it didn't work) and so I left and went up to Oregon with a mate of mine for a few days to relax, recoup, and discuss work.

This went (mostly) ok minus a brief blue between us (I say "brief" but he's Still Mad About It, in my defence it was not my fault) and I left for Las Vegas, somewhere I hadn't been since I was very young. I got a flight out there and lounged for a bit and made my way to the only place I know would have me, a historical casino that's very popular (but not as much as it used to be.)

I went in the first night with $20k to blow away. I was upset because of the fight with my parents, further upset by the blue I had with my mate, and I wanted to be a little reckless and a little 20 and enjoy life for a week before I had to leave.

I have a quick meal in town at the Peppermill (incredible place), do some drinking there, then stop by Dream Exotics, rent out a 488 Ferrari, and head for the casino where I end up getting a cheap room.

It's $1500 per 24 hours, I had it for 3 days.

I head downstairs to the tables, sorta keep to myself and eventually I get to come up and play. If any of the you have read my fic, the scene in chapter 9 where Jess and Mundy play poker? Those were my winning hands. So we do a couple rounds.

Something that I didn't know, since I don't make a habit of high-profile gambling, or high-stakes gambling, is that casinos will comp you if they think you're rich. You put down a lot of money and they worship you. They'll spend top dollar on you in the hopes that you lose it all. It's fucking predatory, but it works. What's $20k spent on a gambler if he loses out $60k to you? That's still a $40k profit, and casinos are in the business of betting and winning.

They bet on the wrong bloke. I came in with $2k to piss away and bet $1500 first game. Lost it. Bet the last $500 and got it all back plus $2k more. Wagered that $2k, kept it and gained $1500 more. Bet the $1500, lost that. This repeated, maybe 12 rounds and until 2am, until I decided I'd had my fun and walked out with my $2k plus $6500 richer than I went in.

I'm an addict of one thing--alcohol. I am not a gambling addict. I know when to stop. I stopped. Everything after this was the casino wagering money on me in the hopes I'd come back down to the tables with more cash and lose it all.

I go back to my room. When I get there there's a bloke in a suit waiting for me and he says that the casino's "impressed" and has decided to comp my room and is upgrading me to a second-class suite, free of charge.

Who'm I to say no?

I get my shit and go with him. The suite's incredible. Spa Tower--a fucking two story suite with a spiral staircase, and it comes with a private chef! We're gonna call him C for Chef.

So I get there, set up, stare at this giant fucking bed, and wonder what kinda mess I just got myself into because everything has its price. I didn't get much sleep. Most of my time was spent cleaning my rifle very nervously as a soothing mechanism and muttering about "Oh we're really in for it now, Winnie."

But! I'm here for work. I want work. I love work!

So I finally head to bed around 4am, get a few hours of sleep, and dismiss the chef when he comes in the morning. He insists on making me something and I tip him $50 for some eggs and bacon.

We don't talk much, he's quiet and nervous and I remember where exactly I am and it occurs to me that maybe most people aren't exactly nice to him.

He comes around again for lunch--I don't remember what it was, think it was a panini--and dinner. Dinner was very very very good salmon. He's still not talking much, we mostly ignore each other, but I make him a martini as a courtesy and he seems to warm up a little.

(The suite has a wet bar and you can bet I drank practically all of that $700-worth of booze in it. This is when I first got into making cocktails, and I still enjoy making cocktails today. Thank god for fake IDs.)

Third day comes around, and this is when I get my arse in gear. I am in Vegas in a very high-profile casino. I'm playing with the big boys now and it's time I fucking act like it instead of hiding away in here. I've got impressions to make. I phone the front desk, as to speak to the hotel organiser, we get to talking and at my request he sets me up with a private barber and private tailor. Excellent. This will work. Chef comes in and makes brekkie (potato hash with eggs and chopped bacon) while I'm on the horn with the tailor and giving him the measurements I remember from the last time I had a suit tailored (for court, yay).

I tell the tailor to meet me at 6pm (giving 2hr for suit adjustments) and that I want something black and blue and very formal. I want to look like money. I ring the barber and tell him to come at 4pm, which gives us an hour to get my hair fixed before dinnie (because a mullet is NOT going to cut it here). I tell the cook to take off lunch, I'll meet him back here at 5pm for dinnie. I get dressed and dip.

Spend all day out on the town, seeing the sights and walking the strip and drinking for The Nerves. I head to Dream Exotics and rent out the Ferrari for another 2 days.

I don't get lunch on accounting for big dinnie. Eventually I get back to the casino, valet takes the car, and I head back to my suite.

4pm rolls around and 5 till, I hear a knock at the door. Scramble down the spiral staircase and make my way to the door. Answer it. There's my barber. He's short, very unassuming, older than me by about two decades, scrawny but with bony fingers that show he's been a barber for a long time. He has Those Kinds Of Hands--the kinds of hands that only people who work intricately with their fingers get; hairdressers, barbers, tailors, seamsters, artists, pianists... Wiry knuckles. You get it.

So I let him in and show him around the place. He comes inside and I ask to see his bag. We go through it. It's everything you'd expect. Ok, you're clear, I'll show you the bathroom. We head upstairs. Fifteen minutes later he's drawing the water up in the shower (yay detachable nozzles) and I'm trying my best to avoid looking in the mirror. And this blokes look at me and says my hair looks very thick. And that he likes this, because it means he doesn't have to use volumiser since my hair already has volume.

And then he says "You have hair like a woman's." There's a pause. "I mean that as a compliment." Thanks I guess?

I'm sitting on the edge of the tub and looking out the window and wondering why the fuck I even put this plan in action to start with when he asks me what I'm thinking. You know, in terms of style. And I say honestly, I don't know. Listen, I've got a meeting tonight, I know you should sleep on a fresh haircut but I'm a bit pinched for time. I have to look professional. I have to look good.

He looks at me, seems to have this eureka moment, and we get started. "I've got you." So I take my shirt off cuz it's just gonna get wet if I don't, my hair gets washed, and we head downstairs to the bar. I'm sat in a barstool we pulled from the bar at the eating bar in the kitchen and he gets to cutting.

And because this was pre-stroke I had a Texan accent at the time. So my barber, who I'm gonna call B, he gets curious and asks if I'm a Texas highroller. I tell him I'm a highroller but I'm not from Texas. A guessing game starts. I'll give you a $100 tip if you can guess where I'm from. The cunt guesses South Africa before he guesses Australia. Do I look South African to you? "No, you look like a cowboy." Pssh.

Eventually he guesses Australia. Ding ding ding, we have a winner. So we move on and chatter for a bit about this that and the other, he blows my hair to get the cuttings off but air dried hair is Special so we decide we'll let it air dry. Eventually C gets there, I let him in, and he makes us some steak and potatoes (FUCKING INCREDIBLE) and my hair dries as we all eat. This is the only time I've ever eaten wagyu steak. This shit was A5. Holy fuck the marbling. Melts in your mouth, absolutely incredible.

While all three of us are eating, I pitch the game to the chef. Barber and I are giggling as he thinks. His first guess is Oklahoma, because "Texas is too obvious." Buzzer. He guesses a couple of times. Gets them all wrong. He keeps guessing and he ends up getting a little red-faced in his frustration so I say if he can just guess the country I'll give it to him. He guesses South Africa. "That's what I said," goes B.

"Why South Africa? B guessed it too."

"There's a lot of rich white people in South Africa."

Fair. The game continues.

C names practiclly every European nation there is and then some. He names Canada, he names France and I wrinkle my nose. He names Spain. No. "You look Spanish." My mum's Portuguese?

To hand it to him, my freshly cut hair was drying, I was sitting at the dinner table shirtless and actually eating my steak with a knife AND fork, looking a bit professional despite my state of dress, and drinking a bottle of 1970-something Macallan off the spout. Plus I was freshly de-mulleted. I wasn't exactly the shining example of Aussie. More "American cowboy plucked fresh off the ranch."

But I get bored of the game eventually and I'd finished eating, so I say I'll give him the letter. Starts with an A.

"Aus-"

Yessss…

"-trian?"

NO!

His reasoning is that I'm drinking Macallan off spout for the past hour, it's not affecting me at all yet, and Germanics have a high booze tolerance?

"You know who else has a high booze tolerance? The drunkest nation on the planet."

C is confused.

"He means Australians," chimes B.

"Australians?" C looks at me. "You mean…" He grabs his knife, kinda points it at me but in the faux-threatening way. "'Now that's a knoife' kind?"

Sigh. "Yeah. Aussie."

"So where are you from? Sydney? Where's your accent? Have you ever seen a kangaroo?"

"Are you from Melbourne?" asks B. It's a good guess--there's a lotta rich people in M*lbourne.

"Someplace you never heard of."

The topic drops.

We yarn for a while longer about nothing in particular, mostly about food. I find out that B spent some time in Italy and really loves Italian food, C's favourite food to cook is Italian, they hit it off and I'm sitting in silence as I listen. Not in the third wheel kinda way, but in the intrigued kinda way. They're having a conversation that I'm glad to be a part of. It's interesting.

I make a mental note to have C cook me something Italian for dinner tomorrow.

B decides it's time for the dry cut, so we head back to the kitchen bar (I bring my whikky) and C goes about cleaning up the kish. He's humming as he tidies and eventually he looks over at me and goes "So nowhere Australia?"

"Woop woop, yeah."

"How'd you end up here? With the suite and us? How'd you make it?"

There's a hope in his eyes that's kinda sad. In that childish "I wanna be like him one day" kinda way. He thinks I'm something to aspire to be like. Sad.

"Cattle baron's son?" asks B. He's polite about it. There's no implications there. It's an honest question. He wants to know if I came into money or if I was born into it.

"Nah. Just know the right people."

Topic drops again.

It hits 6:30 and I say goodnight to C, tell him I'll see him in the morning, and he leaves. B is just finishing up with the last trims on my beard--he did a fucking excellent job, made my sideburns sharp and my beard looked perfect--when T gets there. We brush me off, he blows my hair and face and shoulders and chest, and he rubs up my face with an aloe-free aftershave before blotting it try. I get up and let T in and I can see the look on his face when he realises I am in fact as short as I said I was. Kinda funny!

B gets to watch, very amusedly, as T tries to get the bushman into a custom-tailored suit. T thought I was very strange at my initial refusal to wear undergarments (autism no like), but he insists that he can retailor the suit and reuse it for someone else if I do wear underclothes, so I agree and put on some trunks and an undershirt.

The suit was a little loose since this was the start of summer in Australia and I was down quite a few kilos. So some last-minute adjustments have to be made.

After an hour it strikes 7:45 and I'm now fully dressed in this suit. It's tight at the wrists in a way I don't like, but it's a pearl-buttoned jacket, pearl-buttoned dress shirt, pearl cufflinks, and black silk bowtie. I look good.

Black sleek suit, blue velvet lapel, all the pearl accents and everything else? I'm looking good. I get a little blue velvet handkerchief that goes in my breast pocket. I look built for a wedding. Or making connections.

Best $2k worth of clothing I ever spent. Except maybe the $150 I spent for my hat. But still. I'm rocking this shit.

So T is adding the finishing touches, tightening hems and adding little folds on the inside that you can't even really see so that the suit fits me just perfectly, and B is chuckling about this. I glare at him. He stops chuckling about it. Very amusing. T hands me my sunnies and explains that the piss-yellow of the sunnies compliments the black and blue nicely despite the contrast. And I might not be much an artist, but I am a colours bloke, and I can see it. I can understand it. Makes sense. I put them on.

B wets my hair a little, breaks out some hair gel and rubs it on his hands, styles my bangs over to one side, makes some quip about how I should've let him clip the sideburns, and the two fellas back up to get a good look at me. I Am Nervous.

T makes a comment about my hair, B agrees and walks up and fucks with my bangs until a little piece of them dangles at my forehead over my widow's peak instead of combed to the side like the rest. I cock my brow at him but then he steps back and dries his hands and puts them on his hips.

They're not saying anything.

"…How do I look?"

T asks B if he has a mirror. No no no, no mirrors, just tell me.

"Like a million dollars."

Aces.

I pay them, thank them for their time, agree to return the suit to T at the end of the week, and get on my way after they leave. Get my knife in my jacket pocket and my revolver in the other, head downstairs to the lobby, then get the lift down to the subfloors. I flash my card to the bouncer and when I walk in the smell of smoke hits me. In this casino you are not allowed to smoke inside. The highroller floors are an exception to this rule.

I get a glass of champagne off a waitress' tray and find my way to the bar and I sit there for a bit and start yarning with the bartender. The night's quiet, there's not many people in. Most are out at dinner. It didn't get lively until 10pm, and that's when the real fun started. I played a few more games, won $1500, went back to the bar to drink and people watch and wait. Work as usual.

And that's about it. Ended up walking away with a job that night and it was fun! I met people! I socialised! I didn't make an idiot of myself! Yaaay good impressions!

[strapskinkstories]

Mar 15 2023 - Punishment top + PROs Hiviz Stormjacket = Very punishing airlessness

PVC Punishment top, check, heavy as fuck raincoat, check, fun times ahead, OH YES!

I let it fill my mouth and enjoy the taste of the salty sweat

This session was a lot of fun, while there wasn't much time to relax let alone even watch TV with Mike I had a lot of fun struggling to breathe with the clingy hot wet PVC sticking to my face with every breath. My tracheostomy would have kept the session going without a single stop but I decided to make the MakeItKinky punishment top a bit more punishing by adding my heavy PRO's hiviz raincoat on top of it! In doing that I made the PVC stick to my chest and neck a lot easier, the weight of the raincoat made it much more intense. I might have to get a second punishment top some point so I can add a breathing hole to that one so I can have more relaxing sessions in it, but modifying this one I really don't want to do because it's so much fun! This devious little PVC shirt with no air holes has quickly become a go to item for having fun on vacbag off days. I'll have to think about doing a solo time trial in it on Friday since it is something that I can just pull off over my head and even easier than that if I really need air fast just pulling it away from my trach gets me air as long as I'm wearing it on its own with no added gear. Everyone remembers my breathplay hood time trials and those were in a hood with no air holes that sealed tightly to my trach too! I'm sure that the punishment top time trials will likely land in the 10-15 minute range before I need a break, maybe even longer considering I'll be wearing the punishment top on its own. Next Monday I'm going to try going in it with it inside out, why you might ask, that's because the inside is matte PVC and a totally different sensory experience and level of clinginess, the outside is shiny and super smooth and I bet it'll be way stickier faster. I tried it for a minute just to feel the shiny smooth PVC against my face and neck and oh did it feel good. One of these days I'll have to try it with no shirt on underneath, I'm pretty sure it will stick to my skin very fast and things will be ultra punishing hehe! For a $50 dollar item this thing sure is a freaking boat load of fun. Instead of buying AAA video games for $50 I get myself kinky gear to suffer inside of XD Because sufferin' airlessness is far more fun than dealing with the competitive toxic culture around video gamers.

22 photos are on Flickr HERE

Video is below via direct link and is in the general bondage & breathplay collection HERE

https://waaw.to/f/sCyJVwRahuvY

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 22

Hannibal and y/n arrive at Camp Big Brother and receive an unusual greeting.

@dovahdokren @deadman-inc-bikeshop @lov3vivian @wisesandwichshark @scpdragon

Trigger warnings: guns, threats of violence, cult stuff, brief mention of North Korea 

The car ride up to the mountain introduced you to a new feeling. You thought it similar to that of prisoners on their way to be executed. The comfortable numbness of accepting your rapidly-approaching demise. 

The road only brought you so far. It turned into a dirt path, which then turned into just the imprint of tire tracks. Your car wasn’t equipped for mountainous terrain, so you had to get out and walk. You weren’t ill-prepared for a hike; you made a point to change clothes before leaving the house, and your work shoes were worn-in enough to withstand a trek through the forest. You only feared losing one of your gloves.

It was Hannibal you were worried about. You’d never seen him in anything but a full three-piece suit and today was no exception. He’d taken off his jacket and vest, but having to hike in suit pants and dress shoes was far from ideal. 

You were in the middle of a game of ‘how many 12 gauge bullets can I fit on my person’ when you heard the rumbling of an ATV coming down the track. You loaded a shell into the gun and watched it turn the corner and stop in front of you. Hannibal stood behind you, looking dignified as ever. 

The driver dismounted the vehicle and took off their helmet. The woman beneath the helmet looked like she’d either lived a hard 20 years or an easy 50 years. You didn’t pay much attention to her face. She looked nourished and had a head full of hair, so she wasn’t one of Chase’s slaves. 

“Are you ‘prefect’?” You asked, squinting at her from behind the gun. “Or ‘Aunt Lydia’?” 

“You must be [F/N] [L/N].” The woman said. “Vanguard sent me to pick you up, but didn’t say anything about a guest.” 

“What’s to stop me from blasting your head off, taking that ATV and going up there myself?” You spat. 

The woman disregarded your question. She pulled a walkie-talkie from her belt and clicked it on. “Vanguard, [L/N] is here and she brought a friend.” 

The device crackled, then Chase spoke. “Is it a cop?” 

The woman scanned Hannibal up and down. “No.” 

“Let her off with a warning, then.” Chase instructed. “She knew the rules.” 

“You heard the man.” She pulled a pistol from her holster and pointed it at Hannibal with full intentions to shoot him dead. He put his hands behind his head, but didn’t seem at all fazed. 

You aimed the gun at the woman’s head. “I don’t think you want to do that.” 

“Don’t waste your ammo, love.” Hannibal said to you. “She’s obviously bluffing.” 

“You want to find out?” She pulled the hammer back. 

“Hannibal, she’s not bluffing!” Your voice started to shake. 

“Yes she is, darling.” He insisted. “Nobody would be stupid enough to fire off a shot this close to an active naval base.” 

She lowered her pistol. “What are you talking about, there’s no military base up here.” 

“Of course there is.” He refuted. “Camp David is within a few miles of here.”

For a moment, she looked genuinely fearful. You thought you saw her cult mask begin to slip as she remembered that there was a world outside of the one Chase cultivated. 

“Oh.” Hannibal feigned surprise. “That is, unless, Chase Mulvaney didn’t tell you.” 

The woman narrowed her eyes. “I’m his right-hand woman, he tells me everything.” 

Hannibal clicked his tongue. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems he sees you as just as disposable as Catherine Miller. He sent you down here to kill anyone [F/N] brought along with her, catching the attention of the military personnel on base and ultimately throwing you under the bus.” 

“He wouldn’t.” She snapped. “Chase loves me like a sister.”

“I’ll bet that’s what he tells the other girls.” You commented. 

Judging by the look on her face, you were right. And you struck a nerve. 

“But, if you are so inclined to do Chase’s dirty work for him,” Hannibal said, loosening his collar. “At least try not to get blood on my suit pants.” 

She held the gun out for a few moments, then dropped it. “He would want to kill you himself.”

“That’s more like it.” You said, mounting the vehicle with your gun slung over your back. 

“Vanguard doesn’t mind two armed strangers on his property?” Hannibal asked, having to yell over the revving of the engine. 

The woman scoffed. “It doesn’t make any difference. Bullets don’t work on Vanguard.” 

You furrowed your brow. “What?” 

“Vanguard is blessed with the armor of Christ.” She said, with 100% conviction. There wasn’t a trace of irony or sarcasm in her voice. “No bullets can pierce his earthly flesh.” 

“Do you actually believe what you’re saying, or is this all some kind of fucked-up extended metaphor?” You asked. 

“Vanguard proved it in chapel.” She insisted. “He fired a gun at his chest and it didn’t puncture him! The bullet just crumpled against his chest.”

“Wow.” You said, flatly. This person’s rationality was so scrubbed away, she could be fooled by even the lamest of magic tricks. 

“The people of North Korea believe that Kim-Jong Il is responsible for inventing the hamburger.” Hannibal whispered to you. “Because they don’t have access to any information that proves otherwise.” 

“Yeah, we’re about to ‘prove otherwise’ alright.” You muttered back with a smile. 

After a few minutes, the outline of a building appeared. As you grew closer, you saw a cheaply-constructed cabin made for quantity, not quality. Next to it was a chapel, but it was only identifiable as such because of the massive cross. With industrial metal siding and no visible windows, it resembled a bomb shelter. 

The woman unceremoniously dumped you both off the ATV at an opening in the razor wire fence.

"Morning devotional is at eight." She explained. "You'll hear the bell ring. You'll be expected to attend, of course."

"I don't give a shit what you expect." You shook your head. "I don't owe you fucks anything."

"But you owe Jesus everything." She said, matter-of-factually.

“What in the Midsommar fuck is this?” You said, squinting in the early daylight. 

“Come on.” Hannibal took your gloved hand in his. “Let’s find our Will.” 

The sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains off in the distance, coloring the sky as red as the blood on Chase's hands.

"It's going to be light soon." Hannibal whispered. "We only have so long before people start to wake up."

"So where do we check first?" You asked.

"At eight, the chapel will be full and the cabin will be empty." Hannibal pointed out. "That gives us fifteen minutes to search the chapel until people start filing in."

You nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

You snuck towards the entrance to the chapel and crept inside without a sound. One look and you knew you had a lot of ground to cover in only fifteen minutes.

The chapel looked like the inside of a shipping container. You knew that growing up Catholic gave you a certain image of how church should look, but this was hardly a structure, let alone a place of worship. Much like the outside, the only feature that identified this building as a church was the massive cross, which was not even mounted on the wall or suspended from the ceiling. It just laid lazily against the back wall. A couple of folding tables with some linens draped over them made up a bare-bones altar, decorated with nothing but a couple of candles. The high windows gave the chilling feeling that the room was underground.

"You'd think with ninety million dollars, they could afford some real chairs." You commented, looking disgustedly at the rows of folding chairs.

"This isn't a summer camp." Hannibal observed. "This is a military base."

Your foot hit a loose tile on the ground. You took a knee and grabbed it. A whole patch of tiles lifted with it, revealing a small secret door. 

“I think you might be on to something.” You said, looking up at Hannibal. 

You slung your gun over your back and carefully descended the ladder while Hannibal kept watch. 

“It’s dark down here.” You called up. You heard the striking of a match and Hannibal handed you a lit candle. You were about to thank him when the sharp tones of a bell cut through the silence. 

“Shit.” You cursed. “Hannibal, close the hatch.” 

“I’m not going to leave you.” Hannibal’s voice hardened. 

“This bunker is narrow as Christ’s asshole.” You said. “I can handle it. You need to investigate the cabin.” 

“Darling-” 

“Go to the cabin. Now.” You demanded. “I’m not asking.” 

Hannibal smiled down at you, feeling a sense of pride. He knelt down beside the trap door, and reached for your hand. He removed your glove and pressed his lips against your skin. “Godspeed, my indulgence.” 

You saluted. “And also with you.” 

[meowiemari]

-“She’s so Amazing I couldn’t even remember my real name”

•Fluff

Ok so I made sure to take my time for this so it gets better and more detailed( cause I want to make someone cry). I hope you love it!!!

Warning: Curses,Insecurities, embarrassing Spencer Reid, and some BAU girls adorable moments. I’d like to say thanks to the anon for being so sweet and kind!! Hope you like it!!

Please tell me if there’s any errors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you know her name?”

“Yes it’s (Y/N) (L/N). She works at the bookstore I tried out when the other had too many people and that’s when I saw her wonderful presence.”

“How pretty is she?!?!”

“Enough to be out of my damn league.” He muttered.

“FUCKING.REID!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did a girl advice with Reid, JJ, Penelope, and Emily come to being an interrogation?

Well simple.

Spencer’s favorite bookstore decided to be filled with people due to new popular books and as introvert he is, he was not going to deal with people. So instead of waiting, he goes to look for another store that could have the new books published for him to read. He finds one not too far from his, but it’s smaller and more old fashioned.

The sign says “Hamilon”. Simple but strange at the same time. The old fashioned has some benches outside but they’re small for one person each to sit on.

When he walks in, he’s greeted with the smell of raspberries. Like those bath and body work’s scents that you plug around the outlets of the room, cause he sees about five in every outlet. He’s even greeted with the most beautiful woman he���s ever laid his eyes on that he might die happily right there.

“Welcome!! Is there anything you need?”

Her voice is like music. A song he can play on repeat every day and let his hearing store her voice where he can play it again and again.

Her presence is so beautiful, he thanks Aphrodite for making her 100% successful with beauty. Her hair is so cute in a braid. Her eyes are so enchanting that he’s lost in them. He was in a love spell.

Until someone’s hand was waving at his face.

“Sir? Are you ok? You alright? Are you sick or something?”

“I-um w-wanted to look f-for a n-new book f-from the o-other s-store.”

“Oh? Well I can show you sir!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s where this happened. He quickly got out of the store when he went around the block and ask Penelope for advice, to which she answer sure since he only said that.

He went to her house and told her everything, and leads to her calling Emily and JJ too.

So this is what’s happening right now.

“Ok ok Penelope the Cupid is gonna save the day!! Get to know her as in her favorite books, likes, hobbies, and ask her out on a cute date and get to know her enough to be interested. It’s really important to show her love and affection.”

“Then be yourself so that she knows to like you by who you are, so then she’ll know what she likes about you!!” JJ adds.

“Also don’t rush it. Give her time until your certain she likes you back, then go confess and you’ll live happily ever after.” Emily adds last.

“Did you get all that Loverboy genius?”

If he’s honest, no.

“Let me clarify all of what you guys said in one small paragraph. Get to know her and be myself, then take my time until she shows signs of liking me back and confess. Am I right?”

They all nodded.

“What if she doesn’t like me back? What if she likes me only as a freind and not some boyfriend that’s not good enough—“

He didn’t even finish until Penelope hit him hard with a magazine.

“OW W-what—“

“Listen here and listen well 187!! I’ve known you since you couldn’t even look at strangers in the eyes and couldn’t even make a flirt on a girl. You were so scared and shy, but you kissed one of the most popular hot woman, took care of your mother, always put so much effort on everything, and always looked out for your family. Just being yourself and being the greatest genius in the FBI makes you Doctor Spencer Reid; the badass genius with the IQ of 187, reads 20,000 words per minute, knows so much about what is in his brilliant mind, does magic out of his own bare hands, and even tries his best to protect the ones that don’t deserve to suffer through the hell that the world gave them.”

If no one was showing tears, it’s all three of them. Spencer deserve so much. How can he say he’s not good enough? The whole BAU know how much Spencer deserves to have someone to love, to reply on, to hold when the most horrible events can happen, and to spend the rest of his life with. Derek knows that he doesn’t need to be like him to get someone. Spencer is wonderful just the way he his.

Spencer is lucky to even find these incredible people just by the one man that believed in him.

“If you say your not good enough, I will shower you with fucking love and kindness, and you will like it.”

JJ walks to him, hand on his shoulder to comfort him with a pat.

“If you say she’s wonderful, I don’t know why you think she won’t like you for what and who you are.”

Letting a small grin, he stands up.

“I will get to know her. Thanks guys.”

Leaving to the door of the apartment, the girls sit and relax.

“So you gonna tell Morgan he owes you 50 dollars for being the first one for Spencer to ask girl advice?”

“Hell yes I am. The look of betrayal of that handsome face when he finds out.”

She lets out a breath.

“My precious little chocolate thunder lost the bet he made.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you love it!!! I had time to finish it since I can’t be up after 9:00 (for school) so I’m waiting until 11:00 to use the bathroom :/

Sorry if it’s not good, but I tried!!!

I wanna say thank you to the people who followed me and thanks to the amazing writers that I started to chat with,follow, and read their incredible stories and fanfics for being fantastic!!!!

It’s short but later I’ll make longer stuff.(this reminds me of WattPad)

[imadeletingmysocials]

Things cheaper at Dollartree (after much research)

This is a big list I made for myself and anyone else who wants to know what is legit cheaper at the dollar tree and not just 1 dollar for the sake of there, some things might surprise you what is cheaper and even better at a dollar tree. I try to also pick the healthiest options and compare them to prices in places such as Walmart or a large stock place like BJs. I have also used fooducate.com to see which ones are more healthy, of course with things such as chips and snacks though don’t consider them to be healthy but in those cases I opt for the off-brand ones that taste better than the brand ones. Note: This is USA based.

Food:

Drinks:

Azul Coconut Juice, 16.5 oz. (cheapest and healthiest coconut water out there)

Gatorade Fruit Punch Thirst Quencher, 24 oz.

Stacker 2 B-12 Vitamin Shots is also cheaper.

Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice Energy Drinks (energy drinks are bad for you but it’s like 30 cents cheaper here than in walmart)

LaCroix Lime Flavored Sparkling Water 1 litter

(don’t even bother with any or all of the cheap soda it’s the worst, please drink water if anything else, all of the good soda is cheaper somewhere else also)

Snacks:

Cheez-It Original Baked Snack Crackers, 4.5 oz is cheaper at Dollartree.

Nabisco Cheese Nips Baked Snack Crackers, 7 oz is cheaper at Dollartree.

Nabisco Ritz Bits Cheese and Cracker Sandwiches, 3-oz. is SORTA cheaper at dollartree.

Island Choice Dry-Roasted Peanuts, 7.5 oz. (shelled nuts cheaper everywhere else of course in bulk)

Island Choice Honey-Roasted Dry-Roasted Peanuts, 7.5 oz

Pennysticks Mini Pretzels, 12 oz (pretzels the same, these cheaper)

Tropical Chips Plantains, 3-oz (30 cents cheaper)

Barcel Takis Fuego Flavored Churritos Stix, 4 oz (apparently, 9oz is 2,50 so 3 would be 12oz and 3 dollars, it would be kinda cheaper?)

Pringles Grab & Go Barbecue Chips, 2.5 oz (buying in bulk anywhere else is cheaper though, however, this single container costs 1,25 everywhere else)

Brim's Fried Barbecue Pork Rinds, 2.635 oz

Carolina Country Snacks Salt & Vinegar Pork Rinds. 2.75 oz

Sheila G's Chocolate Chip Brownie Brittle, 2 oz

Barcel Takis Crunchy Fajitas Tortilla Chips, 3.2 oz

T.G.I. Friday’s Jalapeno Cheddar Potato Skins Snack Chips, 4.5 oz

Snack Factory Original Pretzel Crisps, 3-oz (50 cents cheaper!)

PopCorners Kettle Flavor Popped Corn Chips, 3 oz. (better in bulk also)

Good Health Veggie Chips with Sea Salt, 2.75-oz (better in bulk also)

Stacy's Parmesan Garlic & Herb Flavored Pita Chips, 3 oz (better in bulk also)

Rudolph's OnYums Onion-Flavored Ring Chips, 3 oz (it’s off brand Funyuns but it’s actually BETTER and cheaper depending on where you buy them because they’re often sold more expensively at gas stations than Funyuns, fun fact)

Island Choice Banana Chips, 6 oz. Bags

Island Choice Sweet and Spicy Trail Mix, 5 oz (healthy!)

Breakfast Blueberry Biscuits, 7.93 oz.

Harvest Hill Quick Oats, 16 oz. Canisters (Top choice too)

Canned and Pickled

Pampa Tropical Mango Slices in Light Syrup, 15 oz. Cans

Bell's Pitted Olives, 6 oz

Green Giant Sliced Carrots, 14.5 oz (but mostly because I cannot find them anywhere else, all other Green Giant stuff is sold cheaper in bulk though)

Margaret Holmes Finely Chopped Spinach, 27 oz (TOP CHOICE)

Crider Premium Chunk White Turkey 5oz

Libby"s Sliced Pineapple, 20 oz (surprisingly!)

Margaret Holmes Seasoned Field Peas and Snaps, 15 oz

Cans of Pampa(R) Peach Slices, 15.25oz

Pampa Mushroom Pieces & Stems, 10 oz

Pampa Extra-Long Asparagus Spears, 12-oz (by the way Pampa is a really good healthy brand which is cheaper so these alternatives are great)

Libby's Premium Mandarin Oranges, 15 oz

Breckenridge Farms Pickled Jalapeno Slices, 12.5 oz (however Old El Paso Jalapeno Slices, Pickled 12.5oz is 1 dollar more expensive in other places and considered more healthy)

Van Camp's Chunk White Albacore Tuna 5oz (keep in mind this is the only canned tuna that is cheaper at dollartree, Albacore is very healthy and usually more expensive than Tuna, but dollartree sells white albacore in water on the same price as light tuna, this is a very good tuna brand as well)

Mc. Trader Tender Green Asparagus Spears, 10.5 oz

Pampa Smoked Oysters in Oil

Healthy Choice Chicken Noodle Soup, 15-oz

Beach Cliff Sardines in Mustard Sauce, 3.75 (top choice)

Beach Cliff Sardines in Water, 3.75 oz (top choice)

French Onion Dip, 8.5 oz (all onion’s dips the same as well)

Condiments and Spicing

Goya Sazon Seasoning, 8-Packet Boxes

Deli Market Yellow Mustard 20oz (not only is this the best healthiest mustard, but it’s cheaper if you buy it like this than any other mustard in stock size, I wish I had known of this before already stocking up buy buying a 2 pack of 20oz mustard at BJs which is enough to last a year for me)

Louisiana Supreme Hot Sauce 12oz (top choice too)

Kendale Farm Beef Broth, 32 oz (top choice, cheaper than most 32oz broths)

Heinz 57 Sauce, 5 oz. (1,50 cheaper than Walmart)

Hunts Tomato Ketchup, 20 oz (all ketchup is the same)

Deli Market Deli Spicy Brown Mustard (top choice)

Riverton Orchards Lemon Juice, 32-oz (lemon juice the same)

Kraft Bullseye Everyday Original Barbecue Sauce, 17.5-oz (80 cents cheaper than the same product in Target)

A.1. Thick & Hearty Steak Sauce, 5 oz. (SURPRISINGLY, not even in bulk is it as cheap as this? Weird, 5oz is 1 dollar right? 30oz for A1 is usually 8 dollars in stock supermarkets, but 5 times 8 would be 40oz! This is... Interesting. Especially considering it’s a well known brand as well, I wonder who is their dealer or are they just selling it cheap out of donation?)

Healthy Chef Canola Non-Stick Cooking Spray (this one’s pretty wild too, it only is sold at dollartree and is considered the healthiest cooking spray in the entirety of America according to fooducate)

Candy

Gonna go on a safe bet here and say that everything can be found for less and in greater quantity anywhere else. Hairbo Twin Snake is the same price at Walmart though. Most candies are sold 40% cheaper at bulk supermarkets though.

Office & School Supplies

You can probably find all of these at an Ebay auction, but it’s more accessible here.

Crayola Washable Glue Sticks, 2-ct. Packs (1.50 cheaper than walmart)

Duck Tape is cheap as hell

All-Purpose Krazy Glue, .052-oz. Tubes

Other stuff:

Laundry stuff, I’d recommend Ajax 40oz or Fab. Those are AMAZING brands and known as top quality in Australia. And it is insane how cheap this is, they must import it??

Scott Toilet Paper: Oh my god HOW IS 4 TOILET PAPERS THIS CHEAP HERE AT THE DOLLAR TREE???? TP is literally more expensive everywhere else.

Kitchen appliances, a glass salt shaker is like 5 dollars at Walmart but it’s 1 dollar at dollartree. All of the Betty Crocker kitchen appliances like spatulas are only a dollar too and so good. (They are 3 DOLLARS cheaper at dollar tree). IT IS INSANE HOW CHEAP this shit is here, like the can opener they sell for 1 dollar is 6 or 5 dollars everywhere else.

Fisher-Price Smart Care Aloe Vera and Chamomile Baby Wipes, 80-ct. Packs

All Arm & Hammer stuff including the Arm & Hammer Ultra Max 3-in-1 Fresh Scented Body Wash, Shampoo, and Conditioner, 12 oz are good choices. Deodorant too is good. All Arm and hammer stuff here is cheaper than on Walmart and a great brand.

Hand soap might be found for 97 cents at Walmart but it’s a small difference.

Not Cheaper, Best bought at a bulk store:

Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels

snack bars.

V8 Vegetable Juice

Potato Stix

Cereal

Canned Soup

Canned Tuna

Badia Original Complete Seasoning (this took a while to calculate but yes it’s cheaper to buy in bulk, dollartree has 2,5oz for 1 dollar, usually a 2 pack of 12oz each is 13 dollars. if you do like 2.5 times 2.5oz, it’s like 32oz which is more than 24oz for 13 dollars, but you can find 1.75 lbs. of this for 8 dollars)

Iodized Salt (get it at Great value honestly)

Dill Pickles in general, but Vlasic Kosher Dill Pickles is the healthiest choice

Cambell canned soups

Goya canned beans

Sunny Sea Sardines in Tomato Sauce, 7.5-oz

Here’s hoping me publishing this doesn’t crash the market or anything but seriously, you can live healthily and frugally like this. I literally survive like this easily, I just spend like 60 dollars a month max with supplies.

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by xxbieberburnham

A - Accidents Have you ever been in a car accident? No, thankfully. 

Do you have a lot of scars? Yeah, numerous scars. 

Have you been in a fist fight with someone? Nope.

Have you ever seriously hurt someone by accident? No.

Have you ever had stitches? Yes, several times. 

B - Beauty Would consider yourself beautiful? Not even a little. 

Are you self consicous of how you look? Extremely. I’ve gotten even worse these past few years. 

Do you wear a lot of make up? I haven’t worn any makeup in the last four years. 

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Nope. 

What do you think makes a person beautiful? There’s physical features, but it’s the inside and who they are as a person that really does it. It’s more than just looks.

C - Consequences What is the longest you've been grounded for? I think it was 2 weeks.

What would you do if you became pregnant? I’d be terrified, confused, freaked out... I’m a virgin and I also can’t get pregnant, so...

Do you ever think about how your actions affect people? Yes.

What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Take away my loved ones.

What is one thing you wish you didn't do because it wasn't worth it? Ignore things that I didn’t think would end up causing a lot of problems for me.

D - Dealing When you're mad at someone how do you show it? I’m short with my responses, my tone, and I’m distant. I’m not going to initiate conversation or any interaction. 

Name a time when you had to be strong. I gotta keep going despite how much I’ve been struggling these past few years. I don’t feel strong at all, though. I feel very weak. 

Have you ever dealt with divorce? No. I’ve never even been married.

When people don't accept you, how do you react? Hm. I don’t really know.

Have you ever lost someone to death? Yes, I’ve lost a few loved ones. 

F - Family Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? Yeah. There isn’t any beef or drama or anything, I just haven’t seen or talked to some family members in quite a long time. I have a big family and I was closer to some than others and also life just gets crazy and people get busy with their own thing and times goes on. I haven’t seen or talked to a lot of my family these past few years because I’ve just been a hermit crab and distant from everybody. I don’t want to see anyone looking and feeling how I do. :/

If you had to choose: friends or family? My family always.

Do you have any siblings? I have two brothers.

How often do you spend quality time with your family? I spend a lot of time with my parents and brother. We live together and we’re also quite close.

G - Growing How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I’m like 5′4. I do wish I was taller.

Do you think you've grown up in the past year? No.

Do you think you're mature for your age or still childish? I don’t feel like someone in their 30s. 

Are you scared to think that one day you'll turn 30, then 40 & 50? Well, I’m 31 now. I cried when I turned 30, not gonna lie. And the way these years fly by 40 isn’t that far away and that’s scary. And then 50... and what scares me about that as well is the fact that I’m not the only one getting older, so do my parents. I don’t like to go there in my thoughts cause that really scares and saddens me. 

Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? Oh, most definitely. A lot.

H - Hope Love - real or not? It’s definitely real.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? I’m definitely a pessimist.

Do you believe in fate or that everything happens for a reason? I do believe everything happens for a reason.

Do you believe that after we die, your spirit is still alive? I believe the spirit leaves the body. When Jesus returns we’ll be resurrected and believers in Christ will be given a new body and go to heaven. 

What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My family keeps me going.

I - Idols Who is your idol? My mom.

What makes this person an idol to you? She’s the most hardworking, loving, caring, generous person I know. She has a big heart and does so much for everyone else, always putting others first.  Has this person done anything good to help other people? Absolutely.  Does this person have good style? Yes. She always has new clothes, shoes, bags, jewelry and gets complimented all the time. What does this person do for a living? She’s a manager at Walgreens. J - Jokes Tell me an inside joke between you and your friends. I don’t have friends.

Are you usually the person to make people laugh or the other way around? Ha, definitely not me. 

Do you cry when you laugh hard? Yeah. I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time, though. 

Do you get in trouble for laughing or talking in class? No, I never did.

Are you good at making jokes? No.

K - Knowledge The prupose of school: learn, hang with friends or cause trouble? Uh, to learn obviously. It’s good for the social aspects as well.

Do people refer to you as dumb, smart or average? People say I’m smart, but I just feel I’m very average. 

What kind of grades do you usually get? I always got As and Bs.

What is your favorite subject to learn or talk about? English and psych.

L - Love Are you currently in love? Nope.

Do people around you show a lot of love? Yes.

Is love worth it? Worth what?

Do you hate it when people say "I love you" & they've been dating for a day? Uh, that’d be concerning.

Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone or is it just a word? I don’t take those words lightly and just throw ‘em around.

M - Money Do you believe money makes the world go round? It’s all revolved around money.

How much money do you have on you now? A little.

Are you saving up for anything? Nothing specifically.

Would you rather win 1 million dollars or find true love? This sounds bad, but I think I’d take the money at this point in my life. It would be a huge help and advantage for my family and I.

On a scale 1-10, how important is money to you? I can’t say it’s not important, I rely on it for a lot of things.

N - Nothing to lose Would you ever go on a game show? No.

Do you play the lottery? I have a few times, but not regularly.

Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever made a bet and then lost? I’ve never made a serious bet.

Do you give your all in a relationship? Yes. Even when we’re not in a relationship. I was devoted and invested in Joseph and we never officially dated. I put my heart completely out there and was rejected.

O - Openess How long does it take you to open up with someone? It takes me awhile. I have a really hard time with that, even with people I’m close to.

What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If I feel comfortable talking to that person and they haven’t given any reason why I couldn’t trust them.

Do you trust people too easily? I wouldn’t say that. 

Are you comfortable with everyone? No. And these past few years I don’t feel comfortable around people except for my family. I’m very self-conscious, embarrassed, and ashamed of myself. 

Do you tell your parents and friends everything? Not everything.

P - Positive Is your outlook on life positive or negative? I’ve had a very negative, pessimistic, bleak outlook these past few years. It has felt even worse lately

Have you ever had a moment with someone & it didn't end positively? Yeah.

Do you agree with: best to have loved than never loved at all? Yes.

Do you see most things as negative or positive? I think I’ve made it quite clear.

Has anything bad happened but something good came from it? Yes. Hey look, some positivity coming from me. Wow.

Q - Questions When faced with a problem, do you solve it on your own or ask for help? It depends, but admittedly I don’t go to others for help a lot and I should.

Do you like to take quizzes? I like surveys.

If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? Meh.

When someone does something wrong do you ask them about it or let it go? It depends, but honestly probably more likely to let it go.

Do you own plaid shorts? No. Or any shorts.

R - Respect How do you show respect for someone? By listening and being there for them, being polite, being kind... 

What can someone do to lose respect for them? Be rude, mean, arrogant, selfish, etc. 

Do you respect your parents, teachers or authority? I do.

If you're disrespectful to your parents, whats your punishment? I wasn’t a disrespectful, bad kid, but sometimes kids have an attitude and if I did they would tell me it wasn’t acceptable to talk to them that way.

If someone is mean to you, are you mean back? I’m sure I’d be short and snippy and then just not interact with that person anymore.

S - School If you're still in school, what grade will you be going into? I’m done with school. When will you graduate high school/college? I graduated UC back in 2015.

After high school, what do you plan on doing? I went to community college.

Do you like or hate school? I got very overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out quite easily, but there were aspects I did like. 

Have you ever been expelled or suspended? Nope.

T - Temptation Have you ever done something wrong but inside it was okay? Some things didn’t feel so wrong.

Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? I have felt pressured to do those things.

Did you ever cheat on someone? No.

Do you give into temptation easily or are you independent? No, I wouldn’t say I do.

U - Unique Do you do a lot of things because your friends are? I’ve felt that way with some things.

Do you follow trends or do whatever you want? I like what I like and it may happen to be trendy or it might not be. I don’t like things just because they’re “in.” 

Do you give in easily to peer pressure? No.

What makes you different from people your age? A lot of things. I feel very behind in my life at 31 compared to others I know my age and even younger.

V - Value What's the most expensive thing in your room? My laptop.

What's more valuable: your life or the ones around you? My loved ones.

What's something you value? Not because it’s expensive but it means a lot? Time spent with family.

If there was a fire in your house/apartment what would you grab? Oh man. I’d want to grab as much as I could. Definitely my laptop, phone, medicine, and medical supplies but I’d really try to get as much as I could.

Do you think the past or future is more valuable? Hm.

W - Wishes If you had three wishes, what would they be? Good health, financial stability, and... I don’t know.

Would you rather wish yourself to be happy or others? I want happiness and the best for my loved ones. They truly deserve it.

Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe? You have to put the time and effort in. And even then it might not happen. 

Have you ever had a wish come true? I’ve wished someone would bring me coffee and they did, ha.

Do you find wishing on things to be a waste of time? I don’t make serious wishes.

Y - You Are you more independent or social? I’m definitely not social. I’m independent in that I’m a hermit crab and like my alone time, but I’m dependent quite a bit on my family.

What's something that makes you mad when you see it? Abuse towards children.

Do you have potential to do anything you want? I don’t feel like I do. :/

Do you believe people are born a certain way? In some ways?

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Z - Zest Are you currently happy with your life? No.

When change occurs, do you get scared? Yes.

Do you like to try new things or meet new people? I’m so boring and basic and not adventurous at all, nor am I outgoing or social.

What is the most motivational thing on earth? Money, probably.

Do you have a motto? Nah.

Last questions Do you hate how the letters on the keyboard aren't in ABC order? I’m so used to how it is I can’t imagine it being any different. It’s never bothered me, actually.

Do you drink water? Yeah, kinda have to. I don’t particularly care for it, though.

What did you have for breakfast? It’s only 5:56AM, but I know I won’t have breakfast today.

Do you like convertibles? Sure.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? I like the British spelling for some words, like “grey.”

What colors are on your country's flag? Red, white, and blue.

Can you skateboard? Nope.

Do you like long hair? Yeah.

Do you like Fiber One bars? I’ve never tried them but judging from the name I doubt they would be favorites of mine. <<< Yeah, I’ve had no interest in trying them. Healthy snacks like those never taste good to me.

What does your sleeping bag look like? I don’t have one.

Do you like to save your results after a survey? Well, I post them on here. It seems kind of pointless to take them and then not save it. 

Do you like Sour Patch Kids? No. I don’t like sour stuff. If you could have your own show, what would it be about? I wouldn’t want my own show.

Ever rode on a jet? No.

[escapingreality1992]

Satisfaction Needed

Loki X OC - Mina has always finished herself off after meeting up with her fuck buddy. Her secret is revealed to Natasha and Wanda while walking. To make matters worse, she is told she needs to bring a date to an Avengers party. With her options limited, she chooses to go with Loki. She meets up with Emmett, her fuck buddy, before the party and again he denies her another orgasm putting an end to their relationship. Left with no time to masturbate, she changes and goes down to the party horny as hell. Once she lands on Loki’s thigh wrong, it does nothing to help her arousal. Loki pulls her aside and helps her deal with the situation.

Warnings: use of the word ‘slut’. Thigh Riding. Explicit Sex.

           Wanda, Natasha and I were taking a walk around the block, talking about life. We were best friends, enjoying each other’s company whenever we could. Somehow the subject changed from details of a future girls’ night to our love life; a secret of my own coming to life.

           “I thought I heard you masturbating the other night, Mina. Is Mr. Irish Eyes not doing it for you?” Natasha said.

           “Wow. Cut to chase Natasha. Don’t ease into the subject,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my tone.

           “Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d ask. I wanted make sure you’re being satisfied,” she countered. I rolled my eyes, avoiding the question.

           “Out with it. Does he keep you entertained? Or does he bore you?” Wanda demanded. I could always count on my friends to be bold with me. They didn’t care who was around or how private the subject might be. Both women nudged their elbows into my side, attempting to get me to talk.

           “Stop. Stop. Fine. If you must know, Emmett doesn’t exactly let me…you know,”

           “Hah! He has a name. He doesn’t let you what? Spill!” Natasha pressed.

           “Finish. He won’t finish me off. He gets off, sure. When it comes to my orgasm, though, he doesn’t care. Just pulls out, leaving me throbbing. By the way, he’s not Irish. He’s purely American like me. With emerald eyes,” I confessed. Heat flooded my cheeks, traveling down to my neck. Wanda and Natasha stopped walking and traded looks with each other. Shock was evident on their features and I almost regretted telling them. Almost.

           “I’m sorry. Did you say he won’t let you orgasm? Is this every time or on occasion?” Wanda asked. The heat intensified, only answering her question further. Another exchange of a look.

           “Why are you still with him? I mean, that’s downright awful. What kind of a man doesn’t let a woman finish? How can he call himself a great boyfriend?” Wanda continued.

           “Ah. Well, he’s not my boyfriend. Technically speaking. We’re only fuck buddies. I don’t mind, really. I manage to take care of my issue when I get back to the compound. Before anyone notices. Except for Natasha, apparently,” I replied. I linked my arms through theirs, pulling them along to finish our walk.

           “Don’t feel bad, Mina. Nothing tends to get past me anyway. You should remedy this problem. Get rid of Emmett and date a real man,” Natasha commented. I laughed, grateful to have her as friend. I truly admired her honesty.

           “No time. Hence the fuck buddy,” I commented.

           “You could always date one of the boys. I hear Steve and Bucky are single. So are Sam, Thor and Loki,” Wanda suggested.

           “Too complicated, I think,”

           “It’s not that complicated. We’re all in the same field of work and we all live together. I think it might be easier with one of them,” Wanda argued.

           “Unless we break up. Then it’s just awkward. And I wouldn’t dare be fuck buddies with one of them. Natasha would only spy on us,” I quipped. She burst out laughing, knowing I was right. “Seriously, though. I’m okay with it. I don’t need to be set up with anyone. I’m not ready right now,”

           “Not ready for what?” Tony asked as we entered the compound. He followed us to the kitchen while we got water, continuing the conversation.

           “A relationship. Not that it’s any of your business, Stark,” I said. I shot him a snarky grin, skirting past him to the fridge.

           “Okay, ouch, Mina. I only asked a simple question. I wasn’t trying to get all up in your business. Speaking of relationships or in this case a date, who are you bringing to the party next week?” he shot back. He feigned being injured in his chest, which set us off laughing again.

           “No one. I kind of wanted to go alone. No attachments,”

           “You might want to rethink your decision. Bringing a date is mandatory. We’re all supposed to be paired up with someone, regardless of being in a relationship with someone,” he informed me. I groaned in frustration, my nose scrunching up in disgust.

           “Why? I can bet you 10 dollars Strange isn’t bringing anyone. He never brings anyone anyway. Why do we have to?” I complained.

           “One, he’s too busy to meet anyone to bring a date and two, he’s not coming this time. He got called off to another universe, which interferes with the date of the party,” Tony stated.

           “I doubt it’s the real reason he’s not coming. He probably heard a date was mandatory and opted out of it because he can’t find one. I’d be willing to bet no one in their right mind wants to date a second-rate sorcerer like him,” a new person said, joining the conversation. We all turned our attention to the source of the voice; Loki, God of Mischief. He chose not to dress in his usual Asgardian garb. The leather suit with his signature green and gold were gone replaced by a black tailored shirt – two buttons opened to show off a portion of his chest – and black pants. His raven black hair curled around his shoulders, those green eyes sparkling with a sort of malice as he spoke.

           “Brother, I don’t know why you have an issue with the wizard, but you should be a little nicer when talking about him. Try to be a little more polite,” Thor’s booming voice chimed.

           “Do you ever wear a shirt? Or is that just for public outings and not in the compound?” Nat asked. She gestured to the half-dressed God of Thunder. He only beamed a smile of confidence, showing of his muscles more.

           “Enjoying the sight, Natasha?” he said. She rolled her eyes and I snickered at her.

           “What about Steve? Bucky? Sam? Are they bringing someone?” I asked, turning the conversation back to the original topic.

           “Steve is bringing Sharon Carter, I believe. Bucky is going with Natasha. Sam has a reporter friend he’s planning on bringing. You know Wanda is going with Vision,” Tony answered.

           “Bruce?”

           “Sitting this one out,”

           “Clint?”

           “He’s bringing his wife. I’ve got Pepper before you ask. Which now leaves you, Thor and…Loki without a date,” he replied. Loki, without a date, I thought, weighing my options.

           “Mina, you could accompany me to the party. No one could ignore the God of Thunder and his beautiful siren,” Thor offered. He still beamed with confidence, but my mind was still caught on taking Loki to the party.

           “It’s probably too late to ask some civilian right?” I asked, drumming my nails on the counter, deciding whether or not to commit to my decision.

           “What about Emmett?” Wanda suggested. I waved it away with the flick of my wrist.

           “No, he doesn’t like events like these,”

           “Who’s Emmett?” Tony and I spoke at the same time.

           “Someone who I like to call around to fuck. He’s not important,” I answered his question. Silence filled the room as Tony, Thor, and Loki stared at me. Tony’s mouth had dropped open, his eyes had widened while processing the information. Loki arched an eyebrow, a smirk stretching his lips. Thor looked like a deer caught in headlights.

           “You have fuck buddy?”

           “I think I’ll go with Loki,” Again, Tony and I said at the same time.

           “One more time, Tony and we’ll have to play jinx,” I warned. He gulped, putting his hands up in surrender.

           “Did you say you’re taking Loki? Why on Earth would you do that?” Wanda asked. Thor’s smile had dropped once I had picked Loki. I think he would have preferred for me to take him.

           “He looks good in a suit. Plus, no one ever invites him to formal events, and I’d hate to allow him to sit alone in his room,” I replied, deliberately walking up to Loki. I let my hand rest against his chest, stroking his skin with my thumb.

           “Oh, this is going to be fun,” he commented, flashing a mischievous grin. I think it meant to intimidate me, but I flashed one of my own at him.

           “Looking forward to it,” I retorted. I winked, squeezing his bicep as I passed by. A mistake. I’d be eating those words at the party when I found myself in a sticky situation during the party itself.

  1 Week Later

           “Keep going. Yes. Just like that. Oh, god,” Emmett grunted, riding his orgasm high. He pulled out of me, rolling over to dispose of the condom. What was I thinking hooking back up with him? He called a few hours ago, begging to have a little fun.

           I said, ‘Why not?’ I still had a few hours before the Avengers’ party. We were celebrating another anniversary of the team. Part of the reason why we needed dates for the evening. The other part was it was more of a formal event and those who were visiting preferred us paired up with someone. Thor had managed to call Jane Foster, a former flame of his, and invited her to join him; no romance required. We were also the highlight of the party, which made it very important to have a date.

           Emmett and I picked a time, a little close to the time of the party for my liking. I thought maybe he’d be able to finish before I had to return to the compound to get ready. Emmett, however, had other plans. A longer foreplay, a little tying up to lead up to us fucking our brains out. More aptly put, it was up to me to fuck his brain out. Like always, he didn’t allow me to finish, my pussy throbbing for more.

           “Thanks, sweetheart. I needed that,” Emmett said. I sighed and checked my phone. 5:50 p.m. Shit. I bolted up and dressed quickly to head back home.

           “Hey, hey, hey. Where are you headed off to? I thought we could have dinner. Do this again,” he complained.

           “I can’t. I’ve got a party to go to. I’m going to be late. It starts at 6:30,” I explained, pulling on my boots.

           “Party? Need a date? We could fool around in your beloved compound if you like,”

           “You wouldn’t like it. Too formal. Besides, I already asked someone else. Uh, I don’t think we should do this anymore,”

           “Wait, what? Why not?” Emmett asked, sitting up.

           “For starters, you won’t let me orgasm. Ever. Not since we started this relationship, which isn’t really a relationship. I’m sorry but you’re not doing it for me anymore,” I replied.

           “Is this because of your date? Who is he, Mina? Are you interested in him?”

           “It’s not any of your business. We’re not friends and we’re certainly not dating. I don’t need to tell you everything that goes on in my life,”

           “It’s one of your Avengers friends isn’t it? Which one? Thor? Captain America? Everyone says they’re both dreamy. It must be one of them,”

           “No. Not one of them. It’s not as if you care. For your information, it happens to be Loki,”

           “I’d like to know who else you’re fucking. I didn’t know you were such a slut. Is he good in bed? Is he the real reason you’re ending this?” Emmett snapped. My blood was boiling during this argument.

           “Oh, for heaven’s sake, get over yourself. And your tiny cock. I’m not sleeping with him. To be honest, I’d rather fuck him than be with you anyway. Goodbye, Emmett,” I growled. I left, slamming the apartment door behind me.

              Arriving back at the compound, I rushed to get ready. I had no time to masturbate, knowing I’d be extremely horny while at the party. I wiped down, getting rid of the sweat covering my body and changed into the dress planned for this evening. The dress in question was a floor length, dark green one, which had straps that crossed over each other to show off my back. It had an intricate gold design on it and would catch anyone’s attention.

           I chose it specifically to please Loki, a nod to his signature choice of colors. I matched my makeup to the dress but kept it subtle so as to not hoard the gazes of the guests. I had just finished strapping on my heels when a knock sounded at my door.

           “It’s unlocked. Come in,” I called out, standing up. Loki walked in, wearing an all-black suit, his hair slicked back from his face. It still curled slightly around his shoulders but in a nicer way, increasing my attraction to him. My body responded and I mentally cursed myself for not being able to satisfy my cravings.

           “Ready to go?” he asked, offering me his arm. I nodded, taking it and he led us downstairs to the party.

              It was a mistake meeting Emmett for sex, I thought. I was struggling to keep it together, I had to admit. The throbbing had intensified, and I had to fight showing any sign of my sexual frustration on my face. It had grown to the point where I was now fidgeting with my hands. Anywhere. Talking to people, waiting in line for dinner. Everywhere.

           “Everything alright, Mina?” Loki asked me, as we waited for tonight’s dessert; Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and chocolate shavings.

           “I’m fine,” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t see through it.

           “Stop fidgeting. You’re making people nervous,” he whispered. His breath was cold against my skin and I shoved down the urge to push him down on the table and taking him in front of everyone. He placed a hand on the small of my back, I guess as a form of comfort. It did nothing for my arousal. Fuck, this is not good, I thought. It was now my turn to get a slice of cake and I quickly found a place to sit down, preferably away from him.

           I found a spot next to Natasha, focusing on eating the cake in front of me. I clenched my legs together to stop the throbbing between my thighs.

           “Something wrong?” Nat whispered in my ear. Damn, nothing ever gets by her, I thought. I leaned in as if to hug her.

           “I met up with Emmett. As usual, he didn’t let me finish. I didn’t have a chance to rub one out,” I told her, low enough for her ears only.

           “Ah. Please tell me you ended things with him,”

           “I did. I’m trying to make it through the party,” Natasha squeezed me, releasing my body to throw away her plate. I did the same, wanting another drink to distract myself. Tossing it back, I went to sit back down; Loki had already stolen my seat.

           “Why don’t you sit on my lap, darling?” he asked, flashing a smile. I hesitated, looking around to find a different spot. All the other seats were filled, leaving me no choice but to accept.

           “Relax. I promise I won’t do anything inappropriate,” he told me. His arms coiled around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap. Instead of landing on my ass, I landed on his thigh; It hit me right between my thighs and I really regretted not dealing with my arousal sooner. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. This wasn’t normal circumstances.

           As I landed on his thigh, I had to bite back a moan as the friction jolted through me. I hid my face against his neck, my breath fanning on his skin.

           “Darling? Is something the matter?” Loki asked.

           “N-Nothing. Landed on your lap wrong, I think. That’s all,” I managed. I shifted to sit better on his lap; another mistake. My nails dug into his shoulder and a hushed ‘fuck’ escaped my lips.

           “Mina look at me,” Loki demanded. He lifted my chin with a finger, examining me. I knew what he might have seen. Pupils blown with lust, shallow breathing as if I was panting, flushed cheeks.

           “Will you excuse us? I believe Mina needs some air,” Loki addressed the group. They nodded and he helped me up, leading me to the third-floor balcony.

           “Tell me what’s wrong. Is it me? Do I get you all hot and bothered?” Loki asked. He shut the sliding glass door, shutting out any eavesdroppers.

           “It’s not you. Not really,” I responded.

           “Then, who? Oh. Don’t tell me. It’s the one you’re sleeping with isn’t it? Did you two not finish?”

           “He did. I didn’t have time to finish myself off,”

           “Finish yourself off? He left you unsatisfied. Is this the first time he didn’t get you off?” he asked. He pressed closer, pinning my body against the concrete wall. I laughed, pressing my legs tight together.

           “He never let me. I always took care of my own orgasm. In the privacy of my room,” I confessed. Thank god, I was already burning up. My face was already flushed from my arousal.

           “He…why did you continue meeting if he denied you orgasms? You should always be allowed to cum my dear. Unless you’ve been super naughty. Honestly, you should have come to me. I would’ve let you cum over and over again,”

           “I ended it today. I can’t stop the throbbing. It’s only gotten more intense as the night went on,” I said.

           “Allow me to help you,” Loki suggested. I nodded and he pressed his lips against mine. They were cool to the touch, yet soft. I kissed him back, wanting more of him. My hands clung to his waist and he nipped my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I let him slip past my barriers, his tongue dominating mine. I groaned, arching into his body, losing control. Never breaking our kiss, Loki bunched up my dress, draping it over his pants. He nudged my thighs apart with his knee, pulling me forward; his thigh brushed up against my folds and I moaned at the feel of it.

           “Loki…”

           “Ride it, sweetheart. Get yourself off on my thigh. I know you want to,” he ordered. He pressed down on my hips, the pressure eliciting another moan out of me.

           “But…your pants...will get soaked,” I panted.

           “Nothing magic can’t fix. Don’t worry about anyone seeing. No one ever comes up here,” he said. He rubbed against my aching core, coaxing me more. Caving, I ground against his thigh, creating enough friction to increase my pleasure. I gripped his shoulders to keep steady, moaning as I rode his thigh.

           “That’s it, my love. Keep going. I love the sound you’re making,” I rocked against him faster and faster until my orgasm rushed over me. I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing hard, my fluids soaking his pants.

           “Feel better?” he asked. I hummed my approval and he dropped his thigh, lifting my chin to devour my mouth with his own.

           “Let me show you how it’s really done,” he growled. He unbuckled his belt, unzipping his pants. He shoved them down along with his underwear, an item I had decided not to wear this evening. Loki lifted me up on his hips, slamming his cock into me. He held me against the wall, pounding into me. He would switch paces, making sure to pleasure me as long as possible. He worked me to my climax until it flooded over me. Loki kept thrusting, reaching his a few minutes later, while I reached my third orgasm of the night. We were both breathing hard, staying in place until we came down from our high. He put me down on the ground, redressing while I fixed the angle of my dress; he brought forth a new pair of pants to cover the evidence we did anything.

           “Anytime you feel the need to fuck, come find me,” Loki told me, kissing my lips again.

           “I might take you up on that,” I said, taking his arm to rejoin the party downstairs.

[purplesurveys]

1165

survey by xxbieberburnham

A - Accidents

Have you ever been in a car accident? Very minor ones that only caused small dents, and nothing that wrecked either car or put someone in the hospital entirely.

Do you have a lot of scars? I have some, not a lot.

Have you been in a fist fight with someone? Nope.

Have you ever seriously hurt someone by accident? I remember striking my ex in the face accidentally while we were horsing around. She was wearing glasses at the time so she ended up getting a cut in the area in between her eyes.

Have you ever had stitches? No and like I always say, I hope I’ll never need to get them.

B - Beauty

Would consider yourself beautiful? Not beautiful, but I will feel pretty on some days. Not always, though.

Are you self consicous of how you look? These days not so much, because I don’t even get to go out in the first place and there’s been little need to fix myself up most days unless I’ll get on a video call for work. I don’t get self-conscious around my family either.

Do you wear a lot of make up? I never wear makeup.

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Nope. I considered having my breasts done when I was a teenager, but the thought literally never crosses my mind anymore.

What do you think makes a person beautiful? Physically, I think it differs per person. More than that, it’s the things they do when no one is looking.

C - Consequences

What is the longest you've been grounded for? Maybe around a year? Due to issues at home and, honestly, poor parental skills on my mom’s end, I ended up being a rebellious problem child and wasn’t the easiest to temper or raise.

What would you do if you became pregnant? Keep it and try to seek support from family and friends.

Do you ever think about how your actions affect people? Always a people pleaser, y’all. Of course I do.

What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? I guess anything that involves taking away basic essentials, like cutting off access to food and water.

What is one thing you wish you didn't do because it wasn't worth it? Stayed in a relationship that I knew was going to end at some point. She always made it clear she’d end it one day and I was just too afraid of confrontation to face it sooner (and too stubborn to handle the truth).

D - Dealing

When you're mad at someone how do you show it? Cold shoulder.

Name a time when you had to be strong. The week of my grandfather’s death, wake, and cremation was on the same week of my entrance examinations for several universities, including the two toughest ones. I had already been in the headspace to just focus on the exams and shut out everything else for the meantime then the death happened, so my life turned into a rollercoaster of emotions quickly. I ended up entertaining relatives and fervently going through my review modules at the wake.  

Have you ever dealt with divorce? Well I’ve never been married and I also live in a country where divorce is illegal, so no.

When people don't accept you, how do you react? It will definitely affect my self-esteem to an extent. I imagine being bothered by it.

Have you ever lost someone to death? Yes. Just yesterday I found out one of grand uncles did from Covid. We are very close with that side of the family, so I am still in shock and have yet to process it.

F - Family

Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? I barely talk to one of my uncles and only do so when we greet each other at family gatherings. Still, I haven’t looked him in the eye for years now.

If you had to choose: friends or family? Probably my friends.

Do you have any siblings? Yes.

How often do you spend quality time with your family? Pretty regularly now with Covid still on the loose. We have dinner together every night, then after that we usually hang out in the living room doing our own thing. Also breakfast on weekends.

G - Growing

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I’m around 5′1″. I’m fine with this height.

Do you think you've grown up in the past year? So much. I think my surveys show that too.

Do you think you're mature for your age or still childish? I want to say I’ve matured in some ways, but I don’t think I’m fully there yet. For one, I’m still scared to learn how to cook lol and I can’t even light up a match.

Are you scared to think that one day you'll turn 30, then 40 & 50? Sometimes I’ll get in those moods because it makes me realize how fast life is and how quickly people turn old. But I hate getting stressed and mulling over things I can’t control, so I also immediately return to the present and just enjoy where I am now.

Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? I’m barely in my mid-20s, so I know that for a fact.

H - Hope

Love - real or not? I want to say it’s still real. Some people just get lucky early, I guess.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Realist.

Do you believe in fate or that everything happens for a reason? I believe whatever things that happen are consequences of, or are at least linked to, what’s happened in the past – wherever that falls under.

Do you believe that after we die, your spirit is still alive? I don’t believe in spirits, so no.

What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My next paycheck. Hahahaha

I - Idols

Who is your idol? I don’t have any.

What makes this person an idol to you?

Has this person done anything good to help other people?

Does this person have good style?

What does this person do for a living?

J - Jokes

Tell me an inside joke between you and your friends. “Packs a punch” is one of mine and Angela’s long-standing inside jokes. I think I’ve shared this story before, but basically in one lunch break in high school I was tasting this juice that one of our friends brought; I remarked that it “packs a punch” which no 16 year old Filipino student uses in a casual setting, so it quickly became a hit in our circle and now Angela brings it back semi-regularly to tease me.

Are you usually the person to make people laugh or the other way around? It’s mostly the other way around but occasionally I’ll be able to blurt out a joke that ends up working well.

Do you cry when you laugh hard? Haha yes. That’s the best kind of laugh.

Do you get in trouble for laughing or talking in class? Almost never. I hated causing trouble, and if I was ever called out in class it was always a classmate talking to me that I was just too shy to ask to keep quiet.

Are you good at making jokes? Depends on the person. I hold back if necessary.

K - Knowledge

The prupose of school: learn, hang with friends or cause trouble? Learn and gain new experiences, then gain friends.

Do people refer to you as dumb, smart or average? I dunno, you’ll have to ask them.

What kind of grades do you usually get? I mostly bummed around in high school just because I didn’t think grades from that early on in life wouldn’t matter in the long run, but I still did well enough to pass all my classes. I exerted a lot more effort in college since that’s when educational backgrounds start to matter, and got even better results from there.

What is your favorite subject to learn or talk about? History.

L - Love

Are you currently in love? Nope.

Do people around you show a lot of love? The people in my life who’ve chosen to stay, yes.

Is love worth it? Not always, but yes, mostly.

Do you hate it when people say "I love you" & they've been dating for a day? It might confuse me a bit since I personally don’t take that phrase lightly; but I wouldn’t be one to judge.

Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone or is it just a word? Like I said, it takes a lot for me to be able to say it. The two times I dated my ex she was always the one who ended up saying it first.

M - Money

Do you believe money makes the world go round? Yes, and that it can buy happiness.

How much money do you have on you now? I’ve been using paper money less and less frequently now, actually. I’m all cashless these days, so my wallet is literally all out of bills and the coins there are probably just piled-up centavos I’ll never use.

Are you saving up for anything? My birthday treat. I already somewhat failed lolol - I got BTS coffees, Ivy Park shoes, and four boxes of wings just this week, but I told myself I am no longer touching my bank account until it’s time to pre-order food for my birthday.

Would you rather win 1 million dollars or find true love? Give me the million dollars. 50 million pesos would last me like ten lifetimes.

On a scale 1-10, how important is money to you? 10.

N - Nothing to lose

Would you ever go on a game show? If it’s a game show I enjoy watching, like Jeopardy or Family Feud. I might not be interested  if it’s anything else I’m not too familiar with.

Do you play the lottery? Never.

Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever made a bet and then lost? Nah, I don’t really make real bets; I just use the saying with my friends but we never follow through with real money.

Do you give your all in a relationship? To a fault.

O - Openess

How long does it take you to open up with someone? It depends on how long it takes for me to be comfortable with them...some people can seem standoffish, so I’d be wary about opening up about my life to them out of shyness and uncertainty if they’d be down for such a conversation. Then others can be rays of sunshine who are very easy to talk to.

What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If they’ve proven to be reliable in crises. I’ve always said I’m more of a follower than a leader, so if I see that someone’s capable of handling any sort of issue that I can’t find a way out of, I will find it a lot easier to start trusting them.

Do you trust people too easily? Probably.

Are you comfortable with everyone? Definitely not. I like keeping my circle small.

Do you tell your parents and friends everything? Just my friends.

P - Positive

Is your outlook on life positive or negative? I like to keep it positive but still grounded to reality at the end of the day. I don’t wanna drag myself down with my mindset, but I also don’t want to give myself exuberantly high expectations.

Have you ever had a moment with someone & it didn't end positively? I’ve had very few negative one-off experiences with some strangers, but yes, they’ve happened.

Do you agree with: best to have loved than never loved at all? As negative as my experience turned out to be, I still think it’s better to experience love. I grew up in a lot of ways and also learned new things about myself because I loved.

Do you see most things as negative or positive? Idk, depends on how they realistically look like.

Has anything bad happened but something good came from it? Yes.

Q - Questions

When faced with a problem, do you solve it on your own or ask for help? Ask for help.

Do you like to take quizzes? Maybe not quizzes but surveys.

If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? When he plans to stop being a disgusting misogynist pig. And also if he has an actual Covid response action plan because I am not seeing anything fucking moving in the last year.

When someone does something wrong do you ask them about it or let it go? Depends on how close I am with them, or how attached I am to the issue.

Do you own plaid shorts? Not shorts but skirt, since I had to wear a school uniform in my old school and our school skirt was plaid.

R - Respect

How do you show respect for someone? I talk nicely about them, even (and especially) behind their backs. I also refuse to act or talk like a superior around them.

What can someone do to lose respect for them? If their stances on politics and certain advocacies are questionable; if I see them treating any employee under any industry shittily; and if they excessively badmouth people behind their backs.

Do you respect your parents, teachers or authority? Yeah. I’m afraid of getting into trouble and being reprimanded, and I always like looking good in superiors’ eyes so I’ve always been a bit of a goody two shoes.

If you're disrespectful to your parents, whats your punishment? I’m 23, have a full-time job, and give them a portion of my salary twice a month so they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lmao. I’ve definitely noticed they’ve cut back on sermons directed to me. The most that can happen these days is that I would get a mild scolding, but that’s it.

If someone is mean to you, are you mean back? Of course, but I do it very passive-aggressively. I want to make sure I get the last laugh.

S - School

If you're still in school, what grade will you be going into? Not in school anymore and no plans to apply for a postgraduate course any time soon.

When will you graduate high school/college? I graduated high school in 2016, college in 2020.

After high school, what do you plan on doing? I went straight to college, as is the common practice here.

Do you like or hate school? I honestly enjoyed it for the most part; the only thing I really had a problem with was the demanding schedule and workload – back in college, I frequently had classes at 7 or 8:30 AM (which required me to start driving by 5 or 6 AM) and then I had extracurricular activities that would end at 10 PM at the very latest; meaning I was usually in my university for 17 hours every weekday. 

The upside to all of this is that I got to attend my dream school and was surrounded with my close friends, so despite the taxing schedule I have little to no complaints about my college experience, even in retrospect.

Have you ever been expelled or suspended? Never.

T - Temptation

Have you ever done something wrong but inside it was okay? Sure, I’ve definitely had my sneaky moments. Some of them I felt guilty doing and decided I’d never repeat, like cheating on a test; some of them I felt like needed to be a part of my youth years to enjoy life a little bit more and so I was ok doing them, like skipping classes to go see my girlfriend at the time or hang out at a bar with friends.

Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? I never like using the word pressured because my friends were nothing but. They did invite me to try out drinking and smoking, but they never forced me to do anything I was uncomfortable with. My decisions were always mine to make at the end of the day.

Did you ever cheat on someone? Never.

Do you give into temptation easily or are you independent? I think I’m a good balance of it? like I will say I’m influenced easily, but I still have the self-restraint to refuse things I’m adamant about avoiding.

U - Unique

Do you do a lot of things because your friends are? That’s the case sometimes, but not for all.

Do you follow trends or do whatever you want? Again, I can be both. It’s nice to like things that can be my own thing, and it can also feel cool to follow trends because it’s easier to relate to others who are into the same things.

Do you give in easily to peer pressure? No.

What makes you different from people your age? I dunno if there is anything that sets me apart. You’d have to ask other people.

V - Value

What's the most expensive thing in your room? Right now, probably the laptop I was given by my employer for work. I never use it though because my laptop works just fine, and I’m already used to how my own laptop works like and feels like; I have little time to get accustomed to a new laptop, given how hectic my work schedule is. It’s also an older MacBook Pro model, so I don’t want to use it even more than it’s already been used by past employees. I had to sign some contract that basically tells me I have to pay for it if I ever do some damage to it, and the current value is a little above P50,000.

What's more valuable: your life or the ones around you? Others’. But I’m also slowly learning to value my own as well.

What's something you value? Not because it’s expensive but it means a lot? Handwritten letters and notes from friends. Ever since I got a corkboard for Christmas last year I’ve been saving up the ones I’ve received and putting them up on the board; I hope to one day fill it up.

If there was a fire in your house/apartment what would you grab? Kimi. Someone else in the family is in charge of Cooper.

Do you think the past or future is more valuable? I think the present is, actually.

W - Wishes

If you had three wishes, what would they be? A sushi platter, a box of macarons, and my bank account replenished hahaha.

Would you rather wish yourself to be happy or others? Again, others’.

Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe? Sure, but you also have to do something about them if you really want them to come true. Things won’t always come your way.

Have you ever had a wish come true? Yes.

Do you find wishing on things to be a waste of time? Not really; it makes me feel hopeful and gives me a reason to keep doing the things I’m doing.

Y - You

Are you more independent or social? Social. I love being around people. But I also like recharging by myself.

What's something that makes you mad when you see it? Animal abuse, more than anything.

Do you have potential to do anything you want? I hope so.

Do you believe people are born a certain way? No.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown.

Z - Zest

Are you currently happy with your life? I could be doing more if the pandemic wasn’t around, to be honest. But given how much has happened and what I’ve been through, I’m still happy with what I have for now.

When change occurs, do you get scared? Yeah, I’m very resistant to change and I try to avoid or outright deny it as much as possible. I know it’s a problem point of mine that I have to fix.

Do you like to try new things or meet new people? Try new things, yes always. Meet new people, not all the time.

What is the most motivational thing on earth? Money.

Do you have a motto? Nope.

Last questions

Do you hate how the letters on the keyboard aren't in ABC order? No, I’ve long been used to the QWERTY order and never found myself complaining about it either at any point.

Do you drink water? ...What?

What did you have for breakfast? I skipped it today, but this morning I did have a box of these chocolate Korean snacks that was part of the ~care package~ she had sent over to my house last Thursday.

Do you like convertibles? They’re cool. I don’t need to have one of them, but they look nice.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? I don’t have a preference in the sense that I dislike one of these, but I tend to follow American spelling.

What colors are on your country's flag? Blue, red, white, and yellow.

Can you skateboard? Nope, I haven’t even tried getting on one.

Do you like long hair? Sure, but not too long.

Do you like Fiber One bars? I’ve never tried them but judging from the name I doubt they would be favorites of mine.

What does your sleeping bag look like? I never need to use a sleeping bag, so I don’t have one.

Do you like to save your results after a survey? Yep, which is why I opened a Tumblr for it.

Do you like Sour Patch Kids? Just some flavors. I leave the other ones because I find them too sour for my liking.

If you could have your own show, what would it be about? Fooooooooooood triiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

Ever rode on a jet? Not yet.

[thedrunkdoc]

Daydreaming

XIUMIN X Y/N

Genre: It’s safe to say that this is fluff with a little bit of Angst on the side.

AN: Here I am again after a very looong hiatus. Only this time, I won’t be serving you guys some steamy smut. I wanted to write something cute for Xiumin since I’ve been feeling giddy these days. I hope this gives you as much excitement as the smut one shots I’ve done.

Alsooo, try listening to EXO’s Heaven as the background music for this. ^_^

----------

Today was a perfect day for a trip to the amusement park. It was in the middle of autumn- not to hot and not too cold, just right. The ice cream cone that you were holding started to drip on your fingers sending you a signal that you have been staring at a father-daughter tandem for too long.

You couldn’t help it. The sight reminded you of someone. You watched intently as the father carried his sleeping daughter to the bench. Guess this girl had a fun day at the park. He held his hand up in the air to shield his girl’s eyes from the sunlight and you couldn’t help but smile as flashbacks appeared right before your eyes.

--

It was your final year in Uni and you wanted to be remembered as the girl with the best glow up. You entered the cosmetics store in hopes of going back to your dorm with a bag full of new makeup to try.

You scanned the lipstick aisle and started picking out 3 different shades of red. Red lipsticks were your thing. Although you’ve never actually gotten it smeared all over your face because of too much kissing, making out, and grabbing just like what the myths told you about your stay in Uni. But that was fine. At least you were still on your final year and you still had hope.

And if you could make out with anyone, you would have definitely picked Kim Minseok from the Theatre Club. He was two years ahead of you and he was in charge of the recruitment of new club members during the Freshmen Orientation. And you’ve only had eyes for him ever since which is why you joined the Theatre Club even if you didn’t even have any acting experience or whatsoever.

He always landed the male lead. Which meant he always had big roles and big scenes, some of them you’d rather not watch because a sudden pang on your chest would pull you out of consciousness. Not even exaggerating this part. You literally fainted the first time you saw him kiss the female lead during practice.

You’ve always worked backstage and you were okay with that. After all, your goal in joining wasn’t to actually be on stage. It was to keep a close distance between you and the love of your life who you knew would never be yours. He never even looked at you, not even once.

Come to think of it, there was actually one time. When you pulled a different lever sending the sandbags, holding the props in place, in the air and landing on the acting coach’s head and knocking him out. You could’ve sworn he smiled at you that time because the acting coach annoyed the living hell out of him.

You finished picking your new makeup and went straight to the counter so you could pay. You watched as the cashier punched in the items one by one while the other lady put it in a paper bag. “That will be 256 dollars.” She smiled.

You reached inside your bag for your wallet. And reached even deeper. And deeper…

You gave the cashier an awkward smile after you realized what a sticky situation you were in. “Is there something wrong?” She finally asked.

You were still looking for your wallet inside of your bag when a thought finally hit you. “I’m sorry. It seems like I forgot to take my wallet when I switched my bags today.” You said with a mix of concern and humiliation in your voice.

The two ladies exchanged a look that said I-KNOW-SHE-DOESN’T-HAVE-MONEY-AND-SHE’S-TRYING-TO-PUT-ON-A-SHOW. You hated being insulted like that. Because you had no love to protect, all of your sassiness went into protecting your pride.

You took your phone out and landed it on top of the counter. “See this? This is the new Note 20 Ultra. I’m gonna leave it here and go back to my dorm to get my wallet and come back to pay the price of the items I picked out and maybe even give you a tip even if you’re trying to insult me right now.” You turned your back on them and headed straight to your dorm.

You walked back inside the shop when you finally got your wallet and you were startled to see one of the two ladies approaching you. She was all smiles and it gave you the chills because you were certain you’ve seen that smile in a horror movie before.

“I’m sorry that you had to go back to your dorm, Ma’am.” She greeted you while handing the paper bag full of the cosmetics you picked out and your phone. “A young man came in just moments after you went out and paid for everything. He just told me to relay a message to you which is on your phone.”

I took a look at my phone and an on-screen note appeared.

“Bet you’re curious about who I am. Come and meet me at the coffee shop across the street. I’ll be wearing a gray hoodie. I’ll see you.”

Okay. His message definitely spiked up some creepy vibes.

Is he a stalker?

Is he a murderer?

Is he going to ask for sex because he paid for your makeup?

You clutched your chest tightly as you started to make your way towards the coffee shop he mentioned. You were scared about who he could be. But you were actually raised right so you knew that the right thing to do was give him back his money.

Thoughts were dancing inside your head. Panic started to kick in the moment your feet landed in front of the door of the café.

If he’s a bad person, he wouldn’t ask to meet at such a crowded place right?

Besides, the ladies were in such a good mood after seeing him. Maybe he’s got looks?

You pushed the door and stepped inside immediately eyeing someone wearing a gray hoodie. As you started to walk towards his table, another guy joins him which sent you to a cloud of confusion. It was only then that you realized that almost 50% of the people inside the café were wearing gray hoodies.

Was he trying to toy with you?

“One Caramel Macchiato for Y/N!” The Barista’s voice snapped you back to reality.

Wait. You just got here. How the hell does she know your name? And how could you have possibly ordered your favorite drink without you actually ordering it?!

You stood in place and watched as a guy stood up from his seat and claimed the drink.

The Barista’s face immediately lit up when he saw the guy standing in front of him. Now you were even more curious. You walked towards the guy and felt your soul leave your body when you finally found out who he was.

“Kim… Minseok?” You asked in disbelief.

He handed you the cup of coffee with a shy smile plastered across his face. He still looked like a squirrel when he smiled which sent you down memory lane. That same damned smile was what cajoled you into joining the damned Club where you humiliated yourself a couple of times.

You haven’t seen him ever since he graduated two years ago. You started forgetting about him when you quit Theatre Club right after he left. And you were doing fine.

Until you saw him again.

The lingering feelings that you tried so hard to erase and suppress for two years resurfaced. Your love for Minseok was like a fungal infection- it came back no matter how hard you tried to eradicate it.

You joined him at his table and sat across from him. You spent a good 10 minutes staring at him and trying to figure out why he’d do such a thing. Because no matter which angle you looked at it from, the puzzle pieces just don’t quite fit.

“Are you just going to keep on looking at me?” He asked with a slight chuckle at the end.

You still couldn’t believe your eyes. And even though you wanted to answer his question, you couldn’t fathom the right combination of words to say. Excited was an understatement. You were ecstatic. You finally saw him after two years. So why couldn’t you speak?

He took a sip of his coffee and leaned forward locking his gaze with yours. “Yes, I paid for your makeup.” He blurted out which sent your back to your seat, digging as deep as it can into the cushion.

You composed yourself and finally mustered up enough courage to speak. “Why did you do that?” You asked out of complete curiosity.

“After I graduated, I found out that girls pretend to be clumsy to get a guy’s attention because I’ve dated quite a few. I’m not that ugly, you know?” He sat back and looked outside for a moment before continuing.

‘This conceited ass.’ was all you could think of.

“I’m just kidding.” He suddenly took back what he said and you felt your muscles relax. “Truth be told, I found you really cute the day you knocked that annoying acting coach unconscious. You looked so scared.” He laughed at the memory.

“So?” You asked hoping for a decent response.

He cleared his throat. “It’s not that I didn’t see you. And it definitely wasn’t because I had noticed that you had the biggest crush on me that I never approached you.”

“Wow.” You responded as you felt your muscles tense up again. He knew? Yet he chose to ignore you all this time? His reason better be valid.

“I knew how important your studies were for you.” He finally blurted out which sent your eyes right to his gaze. He was sincere. You knew he was sincere.

“There was one time that I almost approached you. But I was too scared. I saw you walking to the library right after practice and I mentally made a promise to myself not to bother you until you graduated so I won’t be a distraction to you.” His words sounded like a symphony to you.

Was he somehow confessing?

“I tried so hard to avoid you, Y/N. But I can’t wait another year anymore considering the fact that you planned to buy so much makeup so must be trying to look pretty for another guy.” He shook his head slightly and you could see that his smile was slowly turning to a frown.

You felt your heart race. Adrenaline was pumping all over your body, making your hands a bit shaky. Butterflies were flying in all directions in your stomach and the smell of coffee didn’t help at all.

You held your hand up in front of your chest signaling him to let you talk. “Alright, hold up. First of all, I wear makeup to look pretty for myself and not for other guys. Second of all, I’m going to pay you back. Third-”

He cut me off. “I don’t want you to pay for those. I intended to buy something for you before showing up in front of you. But this is fate? I guess?”

“I’m still gonna pay for them. You know that, right?” You asked with eyebrows raised.

“Well, you can pay me in the form of kisses and cuddles.” He smiled. Again.

His smile melted you. His smile was your kryptonite. His smile dissolved all sense of rational thought left in you if there were still any. His smile made your knees a good kind of weak. And if you weren’t sitting, you’d probably be down on the floor, in the fetal position, while smiling like a dork.

“Kim Minseok, did you just confess to me?” You asked before letting out a sigh to mask the fact that you were enjoying this. Oh how the tables have turned.

“Confessions are for kids.” He stood up and held your hand and pulled you up so you’d be standing in front of him. “You’ve been mine ever since. I’m just claiming you now.”

He slowly lifted your chin up and the last thing you saw were his eyes closing as the distance between your faces became shorter and shorter until you could feel his warm lips on yours.

You could feel your face getting hotter and cheers from the people in the café drowned the sound of your heart beating so loud it could practically escape your chest at that very moment.

You had no choice but to pull away because you couldn’t suppress your smile any longer.

“Now I only owe you 255 kisses.” You said before pressing your lips together because there were no words to explain how happy you were.

“Let’s finish our coffee and head somewhere else… boyfriend.” You said as you picked up your coffee and started sipping.

“Boyfriend? I’m your fiancé, stupid.” He let out a cute laugh and you had to hold yourself back so hard to not tackle him into an unending cuddle.

--

“Well hello there, Angel.“ Minseok pulled you out of your daydream and gestured for you to walk towards them.

You finally sat on the bench beside your husband who was still shielding your daughter’s eyes from the sun as she slept soundly on Minseok’s chest. Your had to share your favorite pillow with your daughter now.

You licked the ice cream that was supposed to be for your daughter. “Give me some of that.” Minseok pleaded as he watched you devouring the soft serve in front of him.

“I don’t want to.” You said before sticking your tongue out like a little kid.

You’d been married to Minseok for 4 years and you were blessed with a daughter during your second year of marriage. But you were both still young at heart given the fact that he insisted on pushing through with the wedding just 2 years after you graduated. Acting like little kids when your daughter wasn’t watching was your own little way of keeping the romance alive.

“Do that again.” He said before cracking a mischievous smile.

You closed the distance between your faces and before you could stick your tongue out, his lips were already on yours.

“Hmm. Strawberry.” He licked his lips.

He caught you off-guard with that little peck. Specially because you were right in the middle of an amusement park and you were dead sure that a lot of people saw what he did. But it didn’t matter. You were married. And you couldn’t care less about what people thought about you because at least you were happy. You had a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. What more could you ask for?

“Y/N.” He whispered and you stared at him while waiting for him to continue what he was going to say. “I think it’s time for baby number two.”

You didn’t even have time to respond to what he just said. He pulled you to the car, careful not to wake your daughter up so she could be put to bed immediately when you get home.

“You know what?” You looked at him as he started the car. “Maybe I am in the mood for baby number two.” You playfully tugged on his hair sending him a signal that you weren’t kidding.

You smiled at each other and held your laugh so hard that you both turned into tomatoes.

“I love you, Y/N.” He muttered before giving you another peck on the lips.

“And I love you, Minseok.” You answered with a smile.

He started driving home and you knew it was going to be an exciting night.

Oh and the cosmetics you needed to pay back? You both lost count of the kisses you shared three weeks into your relationship. You could already imagine him sweating on top of you and you couldn’t wait to actually do the deed when you get home. But first, a warm bath.

[knicole0527]

How Did I Fall For Unwritten History?

So I’m in a whole relationship right? Like a whole fat ass relationship. Like me plus her equals nobody else . Its kinda dope and kinda like coccaine . If she was a drug I’d take it . She grounds me . She makes love to my mind , heart , and then my body . Her way of words sometimes makes me feel stupid because she uses words I cant imagine using . My vocabulary aint that big . But ask me about math or science ? I’m definitely ya girl . She was my missing piece . If that makes any sense at all . We definitely have our rollercoasters but I’ll killl anyone over her and I stand on that . Best part its with who I chose and not who my parents chose or approved of. I actually dont care whether they approve of me or not. Mom didnt want kids anyways. As she put it, she likes “ a return to sender kid “ I know she used to joke about it but I later found it to be true. So at this point either you like my happiness or you dont. But anyways, So we met the first time at work, Afni Call Center to be exact. She was a bet. By bet I mean with green money with coworkers. So I bet that I would get smashed by this girl and they would each owe me 50 bucks. I mean who can turn down money. Plus she was kinda cute and I know she was watching my little booty when I would walk away . I was 80 pounds lighter when we first met .

But here lately things have gone to shit . I can admit I fucked up . Well in the beginning . I cheated . She found out . But I was honestly gone tell her everything but she found out I broke her heart all that and then some . Since I put all my business out there . Only reason why I cheated was because I wanted a kid . I wanted her for sure but I wanted a kid . As time passed us by I realized she doesn’t want kids at all . So I had to make a decision , kids or stick around for my one true love in my adult life . So I looked her in the face , I probably had tears In my eyes and told her I chose her . She looked at me with confusion for a little and I dont think she anted me to flat out give up kids. But I was gone doe what I had to do to keep her by my side .

Now before we get to me cheating . I had an apartment on Old Morgantown Road . I loved that damn space man . Hard wood flooring . Storage unit . I had a w/d hook up . I had a good apartment and I could afford it and be able to live my best life . Rent was 475 a month . Utilities and water ran me about 80 . So I was well within my budget . But my dumb ass got involved with this man who I thought I could change . I was trying to hear from nobody about nothing . I wasnt trying to hear that he was cheating because I felt like I gave him no reason to cheat . I was giving him everything and then some . Hell I let his stupid ass cousin stay on my couch . So they were living rent free right , I know stupid Kendra always doing dumb shit . I should have opened my eyes but I didn’t .

Well he and I are definitely no longer together . He got my little cousin pregnant . I dont know whats worse . That she knew he was still living with me . That she knew we was kin . That he knew we was still together , fucking and living together and I never ask for a dollar . Or that my bosses had to call me in the office with another one of my cousins and sit me down to tell and show me that he was cheating and she was pregnant . It even shocked me that she tried to question me about my niggas car . Like girl he and I live together so yes maam I’m gone drive his car . and she was in shock to see me in the drivers seat . huh . Aint that funny how it all played out though ? But you know , karma got took his dick for a minute . He got the worst news of his life . His heart was just as shattered as mine . His trust was screwed if not worse than mine . He found out that while he was too busy cheating on me , she was getting knocked down by his cousin . LMFAO SERIOUSLY . He did all that cheating and got that girl pregnant and ended up getting played himself . So while I was his woman , he had a side bitch who had a side nigga , but THE SIDE NIGGA HAD A SIDE BITCH . I hadnt had sex with him in a while because things started getting to me and I was becoming very suspicious so I was still going to get checked anyways . But yea . What a fckd up love hexagon . Crazy how we all worked together . But when I reached my snapping point . I became a little on the ratchet side and called his mom and told her come get her sons belongings because he was homeless again . My cousin didnt have her own spot so somebody had to come take care of him because by that time I was done pretending .

Shit got bad for me mentally . I had me fckd up . I lost my job and went broke because I drank and popped it away . I know definitely wasn’t the right thing but I just wanted to feel numb to everything . I didnt really care how I got high just as long as I as high I was okay and at peace .

Alot of time went by and my past came back . She made me feel safe . And she saw me ; like the actual me . She knew something was up . Hell I gained 50 pounds since the last time we seen each other . But when she came back . I dont know if I was more so excited to see her or trying to fuck her right there on the floor at work . I walked in the door and the moment I seen her ... I didnt care who I was talking to , I think Wanda , I’m sorry boo but I seen my old boo and just had to do it . I could not help myself I had to hug her before I did anything else . I had a little more weight on me too because during our last encounter , hmm hmm , I was a bit smaller and hadnt grown boobs yet . So when she seen me running 90 mph to her ; baby girl was in for a shock .

Time went by and we started seeing each other a little more outside of work . Then she started to spend the night . But when she started doing that , I think I made things a little complicated for her at her moms . I had no intentions of doing so but it kinda got weird because she wasnt coming home very much any more . But yall , when I had her all to myself . Do you know how many times I undressed this girl with my eyes . I mean she standing there fully clothed and I seen EVERY INCH of her thru them clothes . It was bad yall . lol . She kinda eventually sorda moved in ; even though I thought she had already moved in . Time went by and things were okay ya know . We were just in the “ talking “ phase and just filling each other out . She started to grow on me a little more than I planned . and then I wanna say it was my birthday or after ? Baby girl was so drunk . She , our mutual friend , and I went to go grab food and drinks . Weeellllllll , I trapped her into drinking and drinking and drinking . We got home ? and she drank and and got funnier as the night went on . I remember that day like it was yesterday and the videos I have are absolutely the funniest videos I have ever recorded . “ butt clouds “ and the car honk that about gave her a damn heart attack .

Anywho times have went on . We decided to go to hilltop and live there . Who would have thought we would live together because I was stern on not wanting to live with her . It was weird living there . Always wondering if or when we were going to get a roommate . Then ? Thats the first time I ever broke a heart . See , she was always wanting to like distinguish a title. Meanwhile I am petrified of titles and labels and shit . Plus I have labeled myself for so long I didnt want to put a label on she and I . So I waited and waited and waited and decided to test waters . By testing waters meaning , I caught baby fever BAD . LIKE BAD BAD . I wanted a kid so bad I didnt think about talking to her first , I was just hoping one day I could be like , surprise baby we are having a baby ; butttttt I was gonna tell her how I got pregnant IF if actually happened . But she kinda beat me to it . She seen the messages on her tablet and as you know it went to shit from there . I broke her heart . I wasnt sure if or when she would or could ever forgive me . ( its JAn232021 ) and I know she still hasn’t forgiven me for anything . Not sure if she will ever get past it enough to love me love me .

We made it official , May 2019. By that time the only things that mattered to me were building a life with her. Come August 2020 . We got a place together and as time went on, I knew something was wrong but I would rather ignore it than have to go to the doctor because that just aint my cup of tea. I hate doctors.. they always wanna diagnose people with shit. I just didn’t wanna be one of those people so I held out as long as I could before it got to the point of being unbearable . I lost yet another good job . At first they thought it was covid and it wasnt . I tested negative for covid . Then I had like 5 appointments that following week . I was put on all types of stuff . I was throwing up everything . I was crying non stop . I was doing things not in my normal regimen . Thats when things fell harder on her . Harder as in bills , and stress and everything . I became that burden . I became the thing in the relationship that puts everything on the line . I became the complete failure in the relationship .

I wasn’t able to help like I planned . in fact my checks were so small that every pay day because I had all my bills and people I owed money to on auto pay and I kept making promises, put me in the negatives . I was in the negatives for 3 to 4 months . So imagine being the one in the relationship who didnt feel welcome . Who didnt feel like I deserved the love and things like that . All I wanted to do was help out and I couldn’t . Made me want to pack up and wait until I knew she was gone so I could leave . I didn’t know what to do . But I knew I was pretty much of no use . I knew that she resented me . I knew it pushed things back so far it may never come back to normal .

But now , Im better than I was still struggling though .  But I have this amazing job . I have a job where I can do my part and not hurt . I have a job where I can finally help out now . But its not enough . I’m not enough . The love is not enough anymore . I have became disposable . I have become the one who broke and shattered her heart and trust in her adult love life . How do I come back from it ? How do I rescue something that may have already died ? Am I worth it ? Am I better off without ? Do I deserve her ? She deserves the world and I want to give it to her I do .

But idk , maybe my mom was right . just maybe the only things I’m good at are singing and laying on my back . Havent accomplished shit yet . Got banned from a job because I tried to put my hands on someone . Got fired from 3 good fucking jobs because of my health .

Im crashing at this point . My future is on edge . I am on edge . this is not cool dude . But I will play the hand I’m dealt . Maybe I will win and marry the woMAN of my dreams . Or maybe I will just fck it up once again . We Will See .

[tisfan]

(I can) Brew this all Day

Title (I Can) Brew this all Day Link https://archiveofourown.org/works/24408346/chapters/58881478 Square Filled C5: Bucky/Wanda Ship/Main Pairing Bucky/Wanda Rating Teen Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings none Summary Wanda works at a coffee shop. Clint does not understand why she’s crushing on a patron. Word Count 1559

for @buckybarnesbingo and @livewire28

“You’re a fright,” Steve complained as she walked in through the employee entrance at Brew This All Day coffee. “Did someone throw a bucket of water at you?”

“It’s raining,” Wanda said, scowling. She knew her hair looked terrible, practically plastered to her head. She’d had an umbrella when she left for work, but it had gotten snatched up by the wind and by the time she chased it down, it didn’t seem to matter. She was already soaked through. 

Usually, she kept a spare dress in her work-locker for just such occasions, but she’d had to wear one last week when a customer did a “prank” and chucked an extra large frozen drink at her (with extra whip) so he could film it for his YouTube channel.

Steve had put him on the not-welcome-back list, but it probably didn’t matter. She was sure that the asshole had gotten fifty million hits or whatever and collected his cash from YouTube and he’d go around the rest of the city doing it to other baristas.

Whatever. She was going to have to work in a cold, wet dress and soaking shoes today and her hair was a mess.

“Your boy’s here,” Clint added. “I mean, I don’t get it. I can’t look at a customer without feeling contempt, so the idea of flirting with them really just-- they’re customers, therefore, idiots.”

“You’re an idiot,” Wanda said, trying suddenly not to throw up with nerves.

Not that it mattered. The cute guy who came to Brew This to study wasn’t going to ask her out any more than the hot guy who came in at odd hours of the night (Brew This All Day was one of the few coffee shops that was decent and open twenty-four hours a day) was going to ask out Steve, no matter how many longing looks Steve directed at that guy’s ass when he left the shop.

Customers might all be idiots, but they often didn’t even see servers unless they made a mistake. And even when that happened, servers weren’t… people. Not really.

Even the guys that flirted with her didn’t see her as a human being; someone to date and enjoy their company. They saw her as a conquest or a cheap, easy lay.

So it didn’t matter that she looked terrible, like a drowned rat, and that her clothes were going to wrinkle and be clammy and nasty all day.

He was just a decoration.

Someone with a perfect face and amazing shoulders and lovely hair.

A work of art.

And as untouchable as the same.

“Oh, my god,” Natasha said, uncoiling herself from behind the desk in the manager’s office. Technically, Nat was the shift lead, but Steve mostly had her doing the books because she was better at it than Steve was. She also set all the schedules, approved vacation time, and worked shifts when other people were sick.

Thus, not someone you wanted to be on the wrong side of.

“You look like you’re gonna puke,” Nat said. “Come here, change shirts with me.” Nat tugged off her scoop-necked black shirt with red accents, completely unphased by the way Clint stared and Steve turned around, the back of his neck going brick red. Nat had no body-shame, along with everything else.

Not that she had any reason to have it. She was quite attractive. 

Wanda took the proffered shirt, but went behind the door to change, giving Nat her damp dress in return. So, now she was in Nat’s too tight, too short top. And leggings.

Well, she might not look better, but at least she wasn’t soaked.

Nat rolled her eyes at Wanda’s shirt and grabbed one of the tees with the shop’s logo on it. Technically, employees got a 50% discount off all shop merch, but even at half off, Wanda couldn’t really afford a new shirt right now.

She wondered if Nat could, or if she was just going to count the peep show as part of her compensation.

“Get on the clock, witchy,” Clint said. “I want to get the hell out of here.”

“Remind me why I pay you again?” Steve mused, scratching his chin.

Wanda didn’t stick around to watch the rest of the argument; she’d heard that particular song-and-dance a dozen times before.

Steve was, actually, a good boss. He paid at least fifteen dollars an hour -- as soon as Seattle had instituted that as minimum wage, he was right there behind it. Also, he let them keep all their tips and didn’t cut himself in on it, even if he worked a shift behind the machines.

As advertised, the hot guy was at his usual table; she could see him almost the whole time she was working, except when she was directly pulling a shot. Probably for the best, since she needed to pay attention to the steamer and not to the daytime television god who drank caramel lattes with extra whip while he studied from a pile of books.

Wanda thought he was planning to be a social worker, or something. She had trouble talking to people outside of actual work interactions, even on the best of days, and when dazzled by the man’s eyes, she barely remembered to ask his name to put it on the cup.

Worst, he never said his name. He sometimes used initials (JB) but mostly he used a series of jokes. Manchurian Candidate, Winter Soldier, Special Snowflake. (She particularly liked that last one, which he used when there was an entire cadre of bro-ristas in the shop, the kind of guys who liked to lean on their privilege and tell Wanda that she had no idea how to make coffee. People talked about Karens in their Target, but she thought those friends of hers could use an afternoon with a coffee-house Chad and see which one was worse. Those guys had looked up to mock the person calling themselves Snowflake, taken one look at JB’s body-builder physique and shut the fuck up. It had been great.)

Fortunately, there wasn’t much of a line; just before lunch when her shift started tended to be dead, aside from the occasional harried looking mom, or the perpetual student.

She checked the house pot, found it relatively fresh. The pastry cabinet was well stocked. She counted out her drawer, signed in. Watched JB from the corner of her eye. He looked up as she came into the room, smiled, and then went back to scowling at his papers and books and computer.

She did a round of the floor, picked up a few stray napkins and straw papers, wiped down the tables. 

“Get you a refill?” she chirped, just like he was any other customer.

“Oh, would you?” JB asked, sounding like she’d offered a drowning man a lifeline.

“Sure, what are you drinking today?”

“Double-double,” JB said. “I’ve got an exam in--” he checked his watch, “three hours.”

“Sounds fun,” Wanda said. “I have a short shift today, I’m off in six hours.”

JB looked up at her, eyes going wide. “Are--”

“I mean, are-- if you-- just saying--”

“Are you asking me out on a post-exam date?” The only thing good about the entire situation is that he seemed just as flustered and embarrassed as she did. And he hadn’t immediately told her he was in a relationship. Or gay.

“I mean-- if you wanted to, then, you know. Yes?” Wanda waved her hands around, wondering if a convenient hole would ever open up in the ground and swallow her. No such luck.

“Yeah, then, sure,” JB said. “I, yeah. I’ll either want to celebrate. This is my last exam before I get my degree, fingers crossed--” Wanda dutifully crossed her fingers for him “-- or I’ll want to drown myself in beer if it goes badly. In either case, company would be nice.”

“Yeah,” Wanda said. “Okay. We’ll do that, then. You can pick me up here, the red line’s just up the road, go anywhere you want.”

“Sure thing,” JB said. He jotted something down on a paper napkin-- when he handed it to her, it was a phone number. “Text me in a bit, then I’ll have your number and you’ll have mine. Just-- just in case.”

Wanda nodded.

She took the napkin, went back and got his double-double, and then got caught up in an entire busload of tourists from Maryland, none of whom had been in a coffee shop that wasn’t Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks in their life, and by the time she texted him, he was already gone to his exam.

Just sitting down. Wish me luck.

Wanda debated her list of emojis for a bit, and then sent him a snowflake, a four leaf clover, thumbs up, and several coffee and tea cups. Waited a few minutes, then sent a wine glass, a plate, and an OK.

OK Wine

“Somebody’s happy,” Steve commented, looking at her beaming at her phone.

“I have a date,” Wanda said.

“With Snowflake?”

“Yeah?”

“Good for you. Guess I owe Nat twenty dollars.”

“Why?”

“I bet that I’d ask Tony out before you’d get up the nerve to ask JB.”

“So, uh. You don’t happen to know his actual name, do you?”

Steve just laughed and walked away.

Awkward.

[bobasheebaby]

Amy Farrah Fowler Prompts

1 “I gave you one job! Keep an eye on him/her. How hard is that?”

2 “Thank you for understanding.” “Of course I understand. NAME, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just. I want you to know you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates —“ “I love you, too.” “You said it.”

3 “NAME does not get lucky.” “You and me both, brother.”

4 “Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh at a knock knock joke that starts ‘Knock Knock Knock, NAME. Knock Knock Knock, NAME. Knock Knock Knock, NAME’?”

5 “It's too late. He's/She’s been murdered by someone in this room. Welcome to another classic NAME murder mystery dinner.” “I'm leaving.”

6 [knocks three times] NAME 1, NAME 2, NAME 3. [repeats three times] “He's/She’s never going to stop doing that, is he/she?” “I don't mind. I'm hoping to put his/her love of repetition to good use someday.”

7 “Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?” “Yeah, but it's okay.” “How is it okay?” “I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.”

8 “You are aware that your ritualistic knocking behavior is symptomatic of obsessive-compulsive disorder?” “Is not. Is not. Is not.” “Denial. Denial. Denial.”

9 “What is your problem?” “It's Valentine's day. We're supposed to be having a romantic weekend.” “Oh, really? 'cause I remember you saying this trip was going to be something we could both enjoy. Did you mean that or were you just trying to trick me?” “Fine, it's true. I deserve romance and I didn't know how else to make it happen.”

10 “Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?” “Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters. I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.” “That's a big step.” “It's a big fort.”

11 “NAME, that was beautiful.” “If you didn't press record —“ “I pressed it!”

12 “Hi, NAME.” “Hello.” “Are you feeling any better?” “Physically, yes, but I'm upset because everyone's mad at me for no good reason.” “Why don't you tell me what happened, and in a gentle, loving way, I'll explain to you why you're wrong.”

13 “How's your life?” “Like everybody else's, subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. Thank you for asking.”

14 “Yes, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Which brings me to our next order of business.” [Kisses them] “Fascinating.” “I hope you don't take what I'm about to do as a comment on what we just did.” [Runs to bathroom and vomits]

15 “You know, its a tad old-school, but my father was not one to spare the rod when my brother would sneak into his truck and drink his driving whiskey.” “You want to spank me?”

16 “I don't have (Valentine's) plans, which is why I booked time on the big telescope that night.” “An evening looking at the stars, that's still kinda romantic.” “Except I'd be alone.” “I'm trying to put lipstick on a pig here. Work with me.”

17 “I have a sorta kinda boyfriend/girlfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.”

18 “You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular boy/girl now.”

19 “I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.” “Yeah, good call.” “But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.” “You're talking about the painting, right?” “Sure.”

20 “NAME 1, I think you might find the support you're looking for if you realize relationships are a give and take. He/She can only be there for you as much as you are for him/her.” “Thank you, NAME 3.” “And NAME 2, you need to be patient with NAME 1 and stop pressuring him/her into accepting intimacy on your terms.” “You should probably go.”

21 “You know if we did a shot every time they said something embarassing, this would be one hell of a drinking game.” “Little early for alcohol, isn't it?” [On the radio] “You know, I don't just say smart things about science, I also yodel.” [Yodelling] “I'll get the vodka.”

22 “And action.” “And cut! You realize I'm doing this for free, right?” “Yes, and so far we're still not getting our money's worth.”

23 “Stop it! Today is not about you, it's about NAME and NAME, and me!”

24 “Where are the kids?” “Oh, NAME’s helping NAME give them a bath.” “Hmm. So you really think you can trick NAME into liking babies?” “I slept with him/her. I married him/her. You want to bet against me?”

25 “Coming. Yup, that's good. Wine glasses should have handles.” [Answers the door] “Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake. Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.” “You heard what I did?” “I heard who you did.”

26 “I don't want five dollars, I want my dignity.” “So, what are we talking, like ten bucks?”

27 “Come on. Let's get you to bed. You've had a lot to drink.” “No more than NAME.” “That's what I'm saying.”

28 “How could you do that?” “I'm sorry, but you know what it's like when you're with your man/woman and one thing leads to another.” “I do know what that's like. I really do.”

29 “Is that book called ‘Lies I tell to get sex’?” “Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.” “Can I borrow it when you're done?”

30 “Then I met NAME and look at where we are now.” “You've kissed like once in three years.” “That's true. Do whatever you want.”

31 “Are you sure your moth-like personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself?” “More and more sure.”

32 “Your husband's weird and his clothes are ridiculous.”

33 “Did he/she say she didn't like you?” “Of course not. Nobody ever says they don't like you straight to your face.” “Heh, we have led different lives!”

34 “You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that.”

35 “You're acting odd. Why?” “I'm odd all the time. Everyone knows that. Just last night, I tried to see how many Fava beans I could fit in my mouth.” “Tell me the truth.” “28.” “Come on.” “56.”

36 “Uh-oh.” “What?” “I left the food out.” “You afraid it's gonna go good?”

37 “You know how, when you're sick, you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?” “Ooh. Gentle and loving. This is gonna be tricky.”

38 “Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?” “I can honestly say NAME.” “Aww, then I choose a janitor, because I'm about to throw up.”

39 “Please pass the butter!”

40 “Why can't there just be one week each month for famous people to die?” “Well, they've already arranged to die in threes. What more do you want from them?”

41 “I miss this.” “How can you miss a game you've never played before, silly?” “I guess sometimes I'm silly.”

42 “You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated. To have a desire build up within you and be denied any opportunity for release.” “Yeah, sounds like a drag.”

43 “Look, I know this is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want, but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor, then you're an idiot because you are my best friend.” “Too late, NAM—” [pushes person b out of the way, rushes to hug persona a] “Bestie!”

44 “You and I never hang out like this. Why is that?” “I know, it's weird, right?” “Yeah, we should do it more often.” “Oh, no. I mean this is weird right now.”

45 “It actually was kinda fun.” “You're just saying that.” “Yeah.”

46 “If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?” “Okay, if you are going to start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.”

47 “I made your favorite oatmeal — plain.”

48 “Hi, NAME. What's new?” “Our friends are jerks, and I'm mad at all of them.” “I said, ‘What's new?’ but sure.”

49 “FYI, I had a donut for breakfast, you jerk.”

50 “Can you stop breathing so loud? I can hear your nose whistling.” “I can hear your face talking, so we're even.”

[wolferals]

audition

Arón Piper imagine

*

saturday, january 18th 11:22pm • Today was Monday, August 22nd and all I've seen since 8am were wannabe actors reading their stupid lines to us pretending they were fucking Johnny Depp himself. God I was so sick of it, but since I've been grounded my dad made me cast people for this movie he was going to direct. Why were you grounded, you may ask. Well let's say, we just moved to Madrid basically to the end of the world since I grew up in America all my life. Yeah, my first days of school didnt really turn out to be super great, my english teacher was super racist in my opinion. She kept making „jokes" about my country/ and at some point i just snapped and told her how she dared to be so fucking racist. My class agreed with me yet my teacher didnt and put me in detention first and then called my dad. So yeah, thats why he's making me do this.

Some might think, its not a punishment to cast people for a „super cool movie" but have u ever been in a all white room for 10 hours listening to the same sentences over and over, being read by the worst people ever? No, exactly.

Its been exactly 4 hours now, its been around 12 when we decided to take a short break to get some food. I walked around the building for a while, grabbed a iced coffee at the bar and then sat down on a couch in the foyer to immediately text my friends from back home about how horrible i was feeling.

I didnt even get to text 5 words until my dad came around the corner saying something like:"Y/n, lets go. The people wont cast themselves. I mean they'd love to but that's our job." He then laughed loudly and almost couldnt stop. One thing about my dad: He thinks he's hilarious but in my opinion he's a little too full of himself. No offense, i love him of course.

Therefore I walked back to the cruel looking white room and sat down on my chair sipping my iced coffee. „Alright, next up, we have a Joshua Hamilton reading for the part of Jamey." I rolled my eyes. Yet again another Jamey. Ive heard the line:"No way Daniel, are you insane?! Have you even thought about the fact that you could get fucking killed?" about 50 times today.

And to be honest, the only person i'd like to get killed right now would be myself.

„Hello, my name is Joshua Hamilton, I'm 22 years old and I'll be reading for the part of Jamey." The tall, skinny looking guy then spoke after *extremely happy looking* entered the room. Well no offense but super happy people make me puke.

He then read his lines, horribly. He was just too enthusiastic and grinning through the entire thing. It was supposed to be a mad Jamey yelling at his brother who was about to attack his ex girlfriend's killer.

Dad then told him, they will call him. But lets be honest here, obviously they wont. • Alright so another 4 hours passed and we had almost all important characters casted, except Jamey. The crew was getting impatient and we were all super tired. „Dad how many are left?" I then asked because I wanted nothing more than this to end. „26." he answered, sounding annoyed. So was I. „Jeez, for fucks sake." I exclaimed and leaned back in my chair. „Y/n, watch your language!" He scoffed and took a sip of his water before leaning back as well.

„Okay next off we have a Arón Piper. He is Spanish-German, which wouldnt quite match with the way we pictured Jamey. But lets get the guy, kay?" Evan, the producer spoke after reading some reviews.

„Mhm." my Dad hummed. He seemed extremely tired and messed up to be fair.

As I said, I was annoyed and super damn hungry but the second this guy walked in, all my senses were on and I couldnt help but stare at him. He was tall, had curly hair, an earring on his left ear, chocolate brown eyes and a smile that could kill. „Hola,, I'm Arón." My dad seemed to like him too because he sat up straight scanning him up and down. „How old are you Arón?" Lucy, the executive producer asked him, smiling as well. „I'm 23." The handsome guy answered calm and sent me his billion dollar smile.

fuck • I smiled back and for whatever fucking reason I just said:"You must be working out, am I right?" Everyone looked at me but I didnt care, I just looked him right in the eyes and saw him laugh. „Y/n what the hell?" My dad whispered sounding pissed yet confused. „Jamey is a fit dude, he goes to the gym 6 times a week. We have to consider the fact that the actor has to be healthy and all as well." I tried to get out of the weird situation but actually I was just wishing for him to take off his shirt to show us -okay, me- his amazing abs I bet he had. „Uhm to be honest, I just dance, thats it. But you could call that a work out since Ive been doing it since I was 7 years old."

The others seemed impressed too, so Lucy cockily said:"So if acting wouldnt work, youd become a professional dancer?" Arón laughed again and answered:"Yeah, probably. But i havent even read my lines yet."

The entire time he was acting his lines, I was just staring at his god like face, every emotion, every move, every little change in his body language was perfect. My dad looked like he was impressed too and he then, after Arón had finished, spoke:"Thank you, Arón. That was amazing!" He smiled happily and answered fully paying attention:"Oh gracias, it means so much coming from you!" He walked up to my dad to shake his hand and then took back his portfolio. „Honey what do you think? Should we put him in round 2?" I looked over to my dad, took a glance at Arón who was smiling cutely at me. „Nah."

Everyone gave me a confused look and in Arón´s eyes I could see pure fear.

„I think we should give him the part.“

My dad smiled, nodded at me and then spoke:“Alright, Arón Piper, congratulations.“

Arón walked over to me and stuck his hand out for me to shake it. I slowly took his hand and, okay that might sound weird, but it felt so damn good to touch him. God I sound like a creep. No but for real his hand was a lot bigger than mine and really warm compared to my -always cold- claws. „Gracias." he said quietly and stared directly into my eyes while smiling. I wanted to say something like:"Of course, you deserve it, you were amazing." but i just couldnt, i wasnt able to look anywhere but into his beautiful brown eyes.

My dad saw that and cleared his throat loudly. „Thank you again Arón, we will call you next week for further information. But for now, since Jamey is the main male protagonist and we will be filming most of the scenes with you, we'd like to invite you and the other main actors to a dinner party tomorrow night. We hope you're free and we would text you further dates later on today."

-„Yes I'm free, that'd be amazing! Thank you so much! See you tomorrow then, bye guys." He grabbed his jacket from off the floor and left the room smiling brightly.

-„We've got it! We found, first of all the perfect Jamey, and we finally have all the actors, people!" Lucy shouted and sighed relieved. „Alright then, lets celebrate!" My dad exclaimed happily and the others stood up after him. „I'll be right out, I'll go to the bathroom real quick." I informed the guys and just simply hit the bathroom next to the audition room. When i checked back to see if the room had been locked, I noticed that a portfolio book was left on the table. I grabbed it, opened it and and noticed it was Arón's.

Right, he grabbed it before, then shook our hands and put it down again. Then he walked out without it.

So I quickly locked the door and ran through the building, past my dad saying:"Be right back." I figured, Arón couldnt have gotten very far, so I sprinted down the stairs, out of the front door of the building and i looked around if I might spot him. I then saw a guy that looked like him walking down the street towards a silver car and i ran as fast as i could to reach him.

„Arón!" I yelled and stopped once I finally reached him. „Yeah?" he was about to get in the car but turned around. „You forgot that." I passed him his book and tried to catch my breath real quick. „Oh god, thank you! I totally forgot about that. Gracias." He took it smiling.

While I was trying to breath, he opened the car door and said:"Just a second." Me, still dying from all the running, I was now leaning against a wall. „You okay?" -„Huh? Yeah. Im.. good." I was kind of embarrassed at how unathletic i was. „U sure?" he came closer and looked actually quite concerned. „Ya dont worry. Uhm.. See you.. tomorrow..at the.. party?" i tried to play it off and stood straight again Arón smiled again and answered:"Of course. Cant wait!" He then walked back to the car and sent me another smile before getting in.

Damn, this guy.

[murderfabrication]

Murder Fabrication incorrect quotes

For some non-canon hilarious [...] fun.

Chapter 1 spoilers!

Akiro: We need an adult! Alice: I am an adult! Akiro: … Akiro: Another adult!

Mina: I'm gonna strangle you. Neo: You're not tall enough. Mina: YOU’VE SUNK LOW ENOUGH FOR ME TO REACH.

Jan: *falls* Alice: Did you just fall? Jan: Psh, of course not. I just attacked the floor. Alice: Backwards? Jan: I'm skilled.

Andi: You know, you’ve got to stop sending me these mixed messages. Keith: “I don’t like you” and “go away” are not mixed messages.

Benjamin: Okay Neo, you have 5 seconds to name 5 famous disasters. And.. go ! Neo: Vesuvius, Chicago fire, dinosaur asteroid, Titanic, and... um... your haircut.

"I had to take a sick day, I’m so sick of these people." – Lois

Neo: Are you okay? Isabella: I'm going to start charging people money to ask me that.

"Andi sneezed earlier and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you"." – Chris

"Am I bitter? Yes. But do I try to move on and let go of past anger? Well, actually no." – Isabella Neo: I like your new pants. Lois: Thanks! They were 50% off! Neo: I'd like them better if they were 100% off. Lois: The store can't just give away clothes for free. Neo: That's not what I meant... Lois: That's a terrible way to run a business, Neo.

Chris: Okay. Stay calm. Stay calm. Neo: I am calm. Chris: I'm talking to myself.

Monokuma: Ssshh, do you hear that ? That's the sound of forgiveness. Lois: That's the sound of people dying, Monokuma.

Alice: Andi, don't say a word. Andi: … Andi: Fergalicious. Alice: I said no words. Andi: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it's not a word, and now suddenly it is a word because it's convenient for you.

Keith: I have feelings for you. Andi: You do?? Keith: Yes. I feel you’re a little annoying.

Andi: You have no style or sense of fashion. Benjamin: I think that depends on— Andi: No, no. That wasn’t a question.

Mina: Oscar and I have this kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-- Oscar: Sentences. Mina: Don't interrupt me.

"These so called 'feelings' are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch" – Lois

Akiro: Is there a word that's a mix between angry and sad? Jan: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated... Alice: Smad.

Neo: Hey, I'm going to Taco Bell, you want anything? Isabella: I want my girlfriend back. Neo: ... yeah I got like twelve dollars

Neo: I win. Noah: I have you pinned to the ground. Neo: I know.

Benjamin: That's a great dress, Lois, but I bet it would look even better on Neo’s floor! Lois: ... Neo: Are you...hitting on Lois...FOR me?

Emily: So I heard you like bad girls. Emily: Well, I'm bad at everything. Emily: *winks with both eyes*

Jan: Oh, dear. Alice: Jan, I told you, nobody our age says "Oh, dear". Jan: Oh, my. Alice: Or that.

Emily: So I've been thinking. Ciel: That's a first.

Lois: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Chris: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation!

Neo: It’s a package from Lois. Ciel: What is it? Neo: It’s heavy. Must be her disappointment in me.

Emily: Akiro, please teach me how to write ! Akiro: You just gotta... just pick up a pen... Akiro: Then cry for about four hours... Akiro: And then a book magically appears before you.

Emily: I made a marshmallow Chris ! Her arms are crossed because she's mad at all the other marshmallow people for annoying her. You like it? Chris: *choked up* It's fine.

Lois: Okay, emergency meeting! I need everyone to gather around me in order of how much I trust them. Benjamin: *gets close to her* Everyone else: *stays back*

Neo: Lois! You really do care! Lois: Yeah, I do. Tell anyone and I'll kick your ass. I have a reputation.

Keith: Andi? Andi: Yeah? Keith: Before we die, I just want to say... Andi: Yes? Keith: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Lois: I searched everywhere. Neo: What? Lois: I looked through hundreds of files. Lois: Searched through my text messages. Lois: I even searched my wardrobe. Lois: But I still couldn't find where I asked for your opinion. Neo: ...

Noah: It was for love! Mina: Cool motive. Still murder.

Neo: Am I supposed to feel intimidated by now? Because I kind of don't. Mina: Why not? Neo: Well for starters you're... what, fifteen years old? Mina: No! I'm fifteen and a half!

Neo: You broke into my room?! Benjamin: No, that would be wrong. I had a key.

Ciel: Emily, would you step outside for a moment? Emily: Why? Ciel: Because you irritate me.

Neo: Girls are so hot. Neo : Guys are hot too. Neo: Why is everyone so hot? Ciel: Global warming.

Emily: *takes a deep breath* Emily: I lo— Anyone who has spent five seconds around Emily ever: Yes, you love Isabella, we know, you love Isabella so much, she's the light of your life, your reason to live, you love her so much, you just LOVE Isabella, we KNOW, you love Isabella, you fucking love Isabella, okay, we know, we get it, yOU LOVE ISABELLA, WE GET IT.

Ciel: I need you to stay calm, okay? Chris: I'm just gonna stay angry. I find that it relaxes me.

Alice: Only geniuses can say these four words quickly. Eye. Yam. Stew. Pit. Chloe: Come on, no one's falling for tha- Emily: IAMSTUPID

Akiro : *softly but with a lot of feeling* Fuck.

Alice: Describe your ideal man. Akiro: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing, and he plays the organ. Alice: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.

Isabella: Oh, yes, I'll live. Isabella: But I won't enjoy it.

Neo: Hey Jan, what’s your biggest fear? Jan: Being forgotten. Neo: Damn. That’s deep. Mine’s the Kool Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

Benjamin: So I walked into Neo’s room while he was asleep and I knocked something over and he said “if you're a ghost or some shit please fuck off I'm too tired for this”

Chloe: You were happy once, Isabella. Isabella: I was never happy. I was just less pissed off.

Oscar: Have a good day. Mina: Don't tell me what to do.

Alice: A guy from work is going out of town this weekend and wanted to know if we could take care of his child. Akiro: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a big responsibility. What do we know about children? Jan: I'm leaving. Bag? Akiro: [Hands Jan his backpack] I swear you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on. [To Alice] I don't know the first thing about taking care of a child. [To Jan] Where is your jacket? It's very cold outside. Jan: Forgot. Akiro: Here, take mine. [To Alice] Kids are a lot of work.

Emily: Come on. I didn't drink that much last night. Chloe: You were flirting with Isabella. Emily: ... So what? She’s my wife. Chloe: You asked her if she was single... and started crying when she said she wasn't.

Neo: So, what's it like dating Chris? Noah: Once, I asked her for a glass of water while she was pissed at me, and she brought me a glass full of ice and said "Wait."

[texting] Akiro: nose Akiro: I just typed nose with my nose! Jan: heart Akiro: WHAT THE FFUKC ARE YOU OK

Emily: There’s something on your mouth *kisses Isabella* Isabella: There’s something on yours too *kisses Emily* Andi: What the fuck do we even buy napkins for ?

Akiro: *exists* Everyone: So blessed. So moved. So grateful. Can't believe this is my life. Never going to take it for granted. Always going to give back. Thank you.

Keith: You're pretty dumb. Andi: Thank you. Keith: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you. Andi: All I heard was "You're pretty". I'm focusing on the positives in life.

Isabella: *breathes* Emily: Flawless, fantastic, incredible, show-stopping.

Chris: Help! [Chris falls below the water, but Oscar pulls her up before she drowns] Chris : Oh Noah, you saved me! [She kisses Oscar on the cheek.] Oscar: Actually, it’s me. Chris: Oh… well… [chuckling embarrassedly] You can go ahead and let me drown now. Akiro: Some people give off a vibe of… right away it’s, “Don’t fuck with me” Akiro: My vibe is more like, “Hey, you could pour hot soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize.”

Lois: Anything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, starting right now. Chris: I think you're cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and don't think of anybody but yourself. Lois: But-- Chris: But what? I still have twenty-two seconds, and I'm not done.

Alice: I am not a mother, I don't even have any children ! Andi: *passes her* 'sup Mom ? Alice: Oh, hey. Jan: Mom, is it okay if Akiro and I see the new Star Wars tonight ? Alice: Yeah, just be home by ten. Alice: Alice: Okay, listen

Emily: *running with something in her hand* Isabella: Let me see what you have. Emily: *excitedly* A knife! Isabella: NO!

Chris: We're not scared of you, Monokuma! Emily: I kind of am. Chris: Emily, shut the fuck up.

Keith: I loved playing doctor as a child. *flashback to young Keith with stethoscope and teddy bear* Keith: The cancer has spread. Get your house in order.

[vonlipvig]

Fodder vs. Freelancers - Finale (Part 2)

(If you’re looking for past episodes, just check the “Survivor RvB” tag in my blog!)

Quick recap! The game got real intense last time after Church won immunity, putting Simmons, Donut and Doc in danger. All seemed to be lost for Donut, the outcast, but miraculously, there was a tie between him and Simmons, thanks to Doc voting with Donut! And then ANOTHER tie, which led to a tiebreaker challenge. In the end, Donut ended up victorious, and we had to say goodbye to Simmons. 

After many, many eliminations, we’re finally here. The game started as a fierce battle between Fodder and Freelancers, but now there’s only the 3 that survived it all. Church. Doc. And Donut. Each played a different game, with their strenghts and weaknesses, but each one managed to achieve what all the other failed to do, and that is get to the Final 3.

The simulation doesn’t do this, but I’d like to explain a bit what really happens in a Survivor game here, because it’s such a lovely moment of the show. Once the three castaways wake up, they’re greeted by a congratulations message and lots of food to celebrate their accomplishment. But there’s also one more thing to do before the last immunity challenge, and that’s the Rites of Passage. This is a little ritual done to remember all the competitors who didn’t make it, with the F3 thanking them for taking part in their journey. The F3 walk towards torches which have their fallen friends’ nametags and reminisce about their time together (Imagine them remembering Kai, the first one eliminated, and how she made the camp a little bit brighter, even if it was for a short time. Or them remembering Tex, which manages to get some tears out of Church’s eyes. Or Simmons, their friend who made it so far...). At the end of the journey, they gather all the torches and nametags and burn them, finally closing the Rites of Passage.

And, with that done, it’s finally time. This is where champions are made. It’s time for the final immunity challenge. Whoever wins this gets to decide who goes home and who sits beside them in FTC. Boys, best of luck to all.

And it’s Doc, with his zen attitude and incredible concentration, that manages to snatch the most important immunity win of all! You can say he has coasted along during the game, but he won what needed to be won, and there’s no denying he deserves his spot in the F2.

But with great power comes great responsibility. Now it’s up to Doc--and only him--to decide who gets the chance at the million dollars. Does he take his friend Donut, who he cares about, but will certainly get votes with the Jury due to his great performance? Or will he pick Church, who was in his alliance, and who has probably pissed off some people in the Jury?

Doc, I wouldn’t wanna be in your shoes right now. Or I do, I guess, you have a 50/50 chance at a million dollars! But this decision right here...this could be a million dollar mistake...

HOLY FREAKING SHIT. HE HAS SPOKEN. The eighteenth person voted off Survivor Blood Gulch is Church. Doc has voted against his alliance member (well, that alliance was done anyway), and has chosen to keep Donut around. That could be a good move or a disastrous move. On one hand, he shows the jury he’s not going to sacrifice his best friend and bring someone like Church to the Final, who he can win against easily. But on the other hand, Donut is a power player, and the Jury will certainly reward that. 

I honestly have NO idea how this is going to go. BUT OH MY GOD, WE HAVE DOCNUT IN THE FINAL TWO. THIS SIMULATIONS LOVES ME.

So Doc and Donut get to spend their last night in the island, together and happy that they’ve made it as far as they could. But the game’s not over, and now they have to face the Jury, who will eventually decide who gets to keep the million dollars. That means that, in Final Tribal Council, Doc and Donut will each get an opening statement, explaining why they should win the game, and then each Jury member will be able to ask any of them, or both, a question. Then a final statement can be issued, and then it’s up to the Jury to vote for who they think deserves the prize.

So imagine that. Doc and Donut sitting down facing Tex, York, Carolina, Wash, Caboose, Sarge, Simmons and Church (people who they’ve had a hand in voting off), and trying to convince them to give them money. I can also imagine the kinds of questions the Jury would ask. Church would ask a very loaded, angry question, maybe asking them if they truly think they deserve to be there when other, more deserving people (cough him cough) are sitting right there, and Caboose may ask...idk, for them to pick a random number, that stuff happens for real.

The thing is that all is ready, now it’s the Jury’s time to vote, and all Doc and Donut can do is hope for the best...

BUT, THE VOTES ARE NOT REVEALED RIGHT NOW, YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE REUNION EPISODE!

...But this is not TV, so we’re doing it right now. Just imagine that now everyone is clean and washed up and at a live studio in NYC. The pressure is on. 

So, yeah. Doc, Donut, tonight you wanna see your name on the votes. Tonight is the night. 

And the winner of Survivor Blood Gulch: Fodder vs. Freelancers is...

~ DONUT! ~

We have a winner! The man, the lightish red legend, it’s Franklin Delano Donut, who’s beaten the odds and done the impossible to get here! And by a 7-1 vote, almost an unanimous decision! How did the Jury vote, then?

Tex was the only one to vote for Doc, as she thought he had a more balanced game.

York, Carolina, Caboose, Simmons and Church all voted for Donut because they thought he deserved it after winning so many immunity challenges.

Wash voted for Donut because they had a strong relationship.

And Sarge voted for Donut because he liked him much more than Doc.

But that’s not all! We still have to give the award to the Fan Favorite! Drumrolls please...

THE WINNER IS CABOOSE! Guys, I swear to GOD I didn’t pick it myself, the simulation just did that, but I was THINKING IT. I bet he was such a fun, lovable character during the season, so yes, well deserved, Caboose!

And that’s the show! I can imagine Donut smiling with joy and bursting into happy tears, Doc hugging him and being tremendously happy about him winning because c’mon, he totally deserved it (and you can bet in the Reunion Doc’s gonna get asked if he regrets not picking Church over Donut, but no, he really doesn’t!), and everyone getting together and having a damn good time after all the excitement of the season...

And with that, we’ve reached the end of this wonderful, crazy journey. I still can’t believe how accurate this simulation ended up being, with all its flaws and problems, of course. It was such a joy for me to share this with you guys, and a BIG BIG million dollar thanks to everyone that liked, read and reblogged my silly posts. I do this because I’m a total Survivor nerd, but seeing other people enjoy it makes me so unbelievably happy. Of course, I encourage you all to try a simulation for yourself, either a Survivor one, or from any other reality show! (Please, someone do an America’s Next Top Model one, PLEASE), because they sure are fun.

Here are some statistics, if you’re into that! Judge for yourself!

And with that, this has been Survivor Blood Gulch: Fodder vs. Freelancers! Until next time!

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