#Yeah. uhhh cooking yes

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

So me and @koymoa are making ocs based off songs and I made a bunch of notes for two and uhh:

I’m cooking I swear.

[nullians]

It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello

[shxxmisafreak]

okay so for us this has a bit of a story attached

so our current favorite is the heathen option (back right) but it USED to be the front right until one dark and stormy (quite nice out) day

my mother has a deeply engrained ritual with her tea drinking , every single day she drinks it the same time, every morning and every afternoon .

i , around this time , was going through every girls obligatory witch phase (which I think was just a channel for mild pyromania) and my closet was full of hung up lavender and crystals and what not .

SO . This day my mother was somewhat distracted , she was anxious or worried or maybe it was just so radiantly gorgeous and beautiful out that she was gazing out the kitchen window into the sun while putting the kettle on .

now, at the same time , I had been researching something called “black salt.” it was supposed to be deeply protective, and it was a mix of salt, ashes of protective herbs, and some other magical ass shit that I didn’t have in my closet . so I researched what the most protective ass herbs there were

what I came back with was some miscellaneous leaves and herbs, but what is most important is the red pepper flakes. (I think there might’ve been cayenne too ? but I’m not so sure abt that one)

so I take this little piece of paper, I draw my little home brewed protection sigil on there , I wrap my little spices up and I burn that shit right at the table next to the kitchen

so immediately, my asthmatic mother smells the fucked up shit happening and comes in like what in living hell are you doing . and I’m sitting there with my increasingly irritated eyes and I hack out like “it’s for protection ! :)” or some shit

and so obviously she is like BABE you CANNOT burn CHILI FLAKES you will Cough up a Lung . so im like awww :( and i take my little burning parcel of hell out on the porch and I stomp it out .

so we both come in and we like breath a sigh of relief right . like all the choking fumes are outside now, she opens a window to air out the room , everything’s fine .

until my mom smells something kinda weird . something that smells a bit like … burning plastic ?

so she turns around and looks at the front right (her favorite) part of the stove .

one important thing about our household is that our kettle is electric.

so my dearest mother put our plastic electric kettle on the STOVE , which was now MELTING and letting out fucking carcinogenic fumes or whatever the hell plastic does when it burns on your favorite goddamn stove top .

so we are like HOLY SHIT and we have to LEAVE our HOUSE while we wait for the fucking FUMES to dissipate so we don’t PASS OUT or something !!!!!

after we deem it safe to come in , the damage is pretty rough . we bought a new kettle because ours was obviously totaled, and now the burner had a thick layer of melted plastic stuck to it . we picked off most of it , even having a cleaning person come to try , but even to this very day , we still can’t use that burner because of the thin layer of plastic still permanently stuck there .

and that is the story of the day my mother is convinced we invoked some kind of vengeful fire spirit .

Ok look. I’m an Elder Millennial and I know we have our quirks but I honestly want to know something.

[arc-misadventures]

Emerald: Hey Cinder? MFK Me, Watts, and Jaune?

Cinder: MFK II

Emerald: H-Hey, Cinder?

Cinder: Yes, Emerald?

Emerald: MFK between, Jaune, Watts, and me~?

Cinder: Excuse me?

Jaune: Watts? The devil is that?

Cinder: I’d kill, Watts! Brutally, painfully, and slowly! I would absolutely remove his presence from this plain of existence, and the next! I would burn every fragmented memory of him so that their was nothing left of the fucker! I would DESTROY HIM!!!

Jaune: …

Emerald: …

Jaune: Y-You know what… N-Never mind!

Emerald: So… W-Who are you going to fuck, and marry then…?

Cinder: Well, for starters, you’re gonna fuck, Jaune…

Jaune: WHAT?!

Emerald: Excuse me?

Jaune: That’s not how the game is pla…! No, that’s not important; Why do you want me to sleep with, Emerald?!

Emerald: Yeah, why do you want me to do that?! A-Are you into that…?

Cinder: No, I’m not… But, well… Watching, Jaune turning you into his personal toy does sound oh so tantalizing~! Mmmm~! Perhaps we should try that later~!

Jaune: What?!

Emerald: Okay, what’s going on here, I’m so confused.

Jaune: Same here, what’s going on, Cindy?

Emerald: Cindy?!

Jaune: Uhhh…?!

Emerald: Since when did, Cinder have a nickname?!

Cinder: Since we became a couple.

Emerald: You’re dating?!

Jaune: Yes…

Emerald: The fuck did that happen?!

Jaune: Well… remember that time we were sent on that survival mission, j-just the two of us for team cohesion training?

Emerald: Yes?

Jaune: Well, Cinder was butting heads with me trying to be a leader, and all that.

Emerald: Yeah, she’s always been upset that you were chosen for team leader than her. But, that training mission sorted that out. It did sort it out?

Jaune: I-It did… just not in the way they intended…

Emerald: What happened?

Jaune: Well, you see… uhh… W-We kinda…

Cinder: Fucked.

Jaune: Yeah… That…

Emerald: WHAT?! The fuck happened?

Cinder: Oh, the usual: Me gloating on how great our team would be if I was in team leader. Jaune stating my arrogance would get us all killed if I was team leader. Then we both started arguing even more, and since none of you were their to stop us we really went at it. I was going to slap him for…? For something he said, It doesn’t matter anyway. He caught, my hand, and then we started wrestling, we fell down, and rolled across the dirt for a bit until, Jaune pinned to the floor, and the next thing I know I’m shoving my tongue down his throat, and learning how much of a bottom truly am.

Emerald: S-Seriously?

Jaune: P-Pretty much…

Emerald: So the whole reason you two started getting along together, and stopped fighting one another, is because you had sex?!

Jaune: Yes…?

Cinder: And, the disciplinary spankings. You mustn’t forget about the spankings~!

Emerald: Okay… Fine? You’re dating, I take it you’re ’married’ then?

Cinder: Oh absolutely. I genuinely hope to become, Cinder Fall Arc one day.

Jaune: Best not tell mom that, she could at least wait until after I ask you to marry me before demanding grandkids…

Cinder: Wait…?! You’re actually going to ask me to marry you?!

Jaune: Uhhh…?! S-S-So why do I have to fuck, Emerald?!

Cinder: Oh well, since I’ll be the bread earner, and you the house husband…

Jaune: What?! Why do I have to be the house husband?!

Cinder: Cause you can cook, clean, entertain guests, buy the necessary groceries for a meal. And, you know I can’t do that regardless of how hard we try, I mean to remember what happened the last time I tried to cook?

Emerald: They’re still repairing the kitchen…

Jaune: Shit… I am the house husband. But still, where does fucking, Emerald come into all of this?

Cinder: Oh she’ll be the sexy maid who helps you clean up around the house that you also bend over the table, and spank her because she did a ‘bad’ job cleaning everything.

Jaune: So she’s my mistress?

Cinder: Yes.

Emerald: So you want me to fuck your boyfriend to see if I’m good for him?

Cinder: Yes. I will be testing you on your ability to pleasure him, ability to take his massive member…

Emerald: How massive?

Cinder: Your endurance, and your…

Jaune: Endurance? Oh, I get it, you want help so you don’t tap out again.

Cinder: Can you blame me?! You can last twice as long as I can! And, I’m always walking with a limp every time we do it! I NEED HELP!

Jaune: Hence, Emerald?

Cinder: Hence, Emerald. So, you up for it, Emerald?

Emerald: …

Emerald: If I do this… D-Does that also mean I can sleep with you too…?

Cinder: That’s a definite probability.

Emerald: W-Will I get spankings from you if I misbehave…?

Cinder: Most likely.

Emerald: I’ll do it!

Cinder: Wonderful! Okay, let the test begin! Emerald, lets see how long you can last, and if you need help, or are about to tap out, we’ll have, Neo rake your place.

Jaune: Neo?! Neo doesn’t like me like that!

Cinder: Yes she does. She’s asked me on multiple occasions for a threesome with you.

Jaune: Bullsh-Aaaahhhh?!! Neo?!

Neo: 😈

Jaune: Neo?! Get your hands out of my pants?!

Neo: 😙🎵

Jaune: Get your hand off my dick!

Cinder: Neo, wait your turn.

Neo: 😠

Cinder: Emerald, what are you waiting for, get to it.

Emerald: …

Emerald: Okay… Let’s do this!

~~~

Emerald: …

Neo: …

Emerald: I can’t feel my legs…

Neo: 🤕

Emerald: Worth it~!

Neo: 🥰

[just-jessiejames]

the pure chaos in this video is just. wow. the bark of fucking laughter that escaped me when the song crescendo'd, oh my god

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

[animadi888]

One Piece: Turn Right At Holtzman Street

Sanji: *Opens the sugar jar* Shit, we ran out of sugar. Zoro: So? I'll go buy some. Sanji: Uhhh… no. Please just don't. Zoro: What? Why not? Come on I'm not a kid I can do this *Frowns*. Sanji: Come on, you know that you get lost all the time and then you call me, and I need to start to explain to you where you are… it's very annoying. Just forget it, I'll go buy some soon. Zoro: Bullshit! Sanji: Alright then, the grocery store is just across the street *Points to the grocery store through the Sunny's kitchen window*. Zoro: Stop rambling, in the time we were talking I already could have left and come back. Sanji: Fine, okay. But… just do me a favor, at least go with a map. Zoro: What, the grocery store is just across the street. I can handle it it's not like I'm a kid! Sanji: *Raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms*. Zoro: Half a second and I'm back! how dumb do you think I am?! *Leaves the kitchen and heads to the grocery store and slams the door behind him*.

-A few minutes later-

Sanji: *Answers to the Den Den Mushi* Hello? Zoro: Okay, so I got lost. Sanji: Where are you now? Zoro: I don't know, there's… trees, and… a road… I don't know. Sanji: *Looks out the window and sees Zoro at the end of a road leading into the forest while the city is literally right behind him* First of all, turn around, you idiot! The city is right behind you! Turn right at Holtzman street and then straight until the end. Zoro: Ah, right at Holtzman street. Sanji: Just open a map. Zoro: Never! I can already see the grocery store from here, bye. Sanji: *mutters under his breath* Sweet mother of the sea...

-At breakfast time-

Sanji:*Answers to the Den Den Mushi* Hello? Zoro: Yeah, so somehow I got stuck at the top of a mountain. Sanji: How the freak did you get there? It's on the other side of the island! Zoro: Just tell me how to get there already and shitty cook. I don't need your patronizing attitude. Sanji: *Sigh* You turn around and go down the mountain and then turn southwest to the city light and then turn right at Holtzman street and then straight until the end. Zoro: Ah, right at Holtzman street. Sanji: Yes, yes, for God's sake. Zoro: Bye. Sanji: *Rolls their eyes and is about to put down the Den Den Mushi but then it rings again* What? Zoro: Okay, I'm in Water 7. Sanji: How the hell did you get to Water 7?! Zoro: Come on, do you want to fight or do you want your sugar? Just come on already. Sanji: Take the Puffing Ice Sea Train to Sabaody Archipelago From there you will take a boat to Fish-Man Island and then request a special boat transfer to the islands that come now and then turn right at Holtzman street and then straight until the end. Zoro: Ah, right at Holtzman street. Sanji: Okay, now do me a favor, and just open a freaking map- *The Den Den Mushi rings again during the conversation with Zoro* Hello? Zoro: Okay, so I got lost in the future. I am in year 3406. Sanji: Find Doc and steal his Delorean, accelerate to exactly 88 miles in order to create a rupture in the fabric of space and time, come back to the same point in 1524, and then turn right at Holtzman street and then straight until the end. And for God's sake open maps already. Zoro: Ah, right at- Sanji: Yes, yes just shut up already.

-While washing dishes-

Sanji: *Answers to the Den Den Mushi* Hello. Zoro: Uh, I'm in the Matrix. Sanji: Search for Morpheus, take the red pill from him andthen turn right at Holtzman street and then straight until the end. And for God's sake open maps already.

-While reading a book-

Sanji: *Answers to the Den Den Mushi* Hello. Zoro: Okay, so i'm in Hogwarts. Sanji: Talk to McGonagall, take the floo powder from her, come back here then turn right at Holtzman street, and then straight until the end.

-While preparing lunch-

Sanji: *Answers to the Den Den Mushi* Yes? Zoro: Uh, so I'm in a Rick and Morty episode… Sanji: Combine Shlib and Bazorbazorb together with Glibglob which will open a gateway back to dimension C-1997, then turn right at Holtzman street, and then straight until the end.

-In the middle of the night-

Sanji:*Answers to the Den Den Mushi while half asleep* Zoro: I'm here! Sanji: What… really? Zoro: Yes, and there's a ton of sugar for free! and the government is working for the sake of the citizens and the World Nobles don't just steal money from you and actually give you something… Sanji: Yes, okay, you're in the opposite world. Fly at the speed of light against the direction of Earth, then turn right at Holtzman street, and then straight until the end. Zoro: Ah, right at Holtzman street.

-The following morning-

Sanji: *Calls Zoro* Come on, where are you? I want this dem coffee. Zoro: I'm at… *Looks around* Know what cook? I give up. I give up! I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am. Okay? Happy?! Every time I think I get closer, but I get further away. Okay? I don't… I don't know! I'm not good with directions. Alright? Is that what you wanted to hear!? Sanji: *thinks a little* Okay, know what? Now that I think about it, it's… it's left at Holtzman street, not right. Zoro: What?! Sanji: Yes. Right at Holtzman street just takes you through the intergalactic gateway to parallel universes in time and space. Usopp/Brook: *Overheard Sanji and Zoro's conversation* Well, it's looks like this day took a turn in… a different direction! Zoro: I hate you.

[mystwrites]

Hi, congratulations on reaching 200 followers! You're a very talented writer and artist and worked hard to achieve this milestone!

If you would like for your follower event, could you do 🍉 and 🌊, with lee!Geto and ler!Gojo? I guess I'm basing the scenario where Geto and Gojo took Riko to Okinawa island to relax.

Again, congrats on this milestone and may many more come your way!

My 200 Followers Event is still open!

The beach was really great. Geto was downright enjoying himself. Of course, this was a mission he was supposed to be on with Gojo but Gojo’s idea of a beach day was incredible. The smell of the salty sea, the calming sounds of the waves hitting the sand, the warm sun on his body. It was all so relaxing.

While he did say he was opposed to the idea, he now has no arguments. Sunbathing was really nice and relaxing. A perfect change in scenery as well as atmosphere. Before, things were tense and now the mood was lifted, everyone smiling, laughing and genuinely happy.

“God…I love this…” he mumbled, Gojo next to him lying on his back, enjoying this fresh dose of vitamin c.

“I told you this would be fun!” Gojo sang, pointing to Riko and Kuroi going for a swim. “They’re having a lot of fun and I can tell you’re having a good time tanning.”

“Mmm. I did wanna get a tan at some point in my life.” Geto replied, comfortable as ever on his stomach. “Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

“Is my back burning?”

“Uhhh…ooh! Yes, I see some redness.”

Geto groaned and sat up. “Shit. Really?”

“Yes! Right here! It’s red.” Gojo added, pressing down on Geto’s shoulder. He hissed as Gojo’s finger pressed into his skin. It did hurt slightly.

“Damn…that was quick.”

“Well, we were here for like…an hour and thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, but while I do wanna tan, I don’t wanna become a cooked lobster.“ Geto joked, tossing a bottle of sunscreen to Gojo. “Help me out and put sunscreen on my back will you?”

“Roger!” Gojo saluted, suddenly squirting a whole glob onto Geto’s back.

“OIY!! Take it easy with the sunscreen!” Geto gasped.

The sudden temperature change from hot to freezing cold startled Geto so much his foot kicked Gojo’s back. Apologizing, Gojo went to work, probably applying too much sunscreen but more is better than too little. Geto was grateful that his best friend would do this for him.

Geto’s eyes closed since it felt as if Gojo was massaging him but before he could completely relax, he felt two single fingers start to drag up and down his sides and swirl in a circular motion. Tensing up, Geto let out a loud inhale and whined, fully aware that Gojo was absolutely grinning behind him.

“Satoru!” he hissed. “That tickles!!”

“Dude, I’m not even trying to tickle you! I’m just doodling on your back with the sunscreen.” Gojo snickered, a mischievous grin appearing on his face much to Geto’s horror. “I drew a cat on your back hehehe! Let’s draw some more.~”

“Don’t even think about it you ass.” Geto barked.

“What? You don’t want a nice tattoo?”

“Hell no! Especially not if the “tattoo” is super painful tomorrow, then starts to itch and peel in a few days.”

“Oh well…it’s your loss. It was a very cute drawing.”

Geto laughed at the sad sigh Gojo let out and shook his head. Sometimes his friend could be too much. He still enjoyed being around Gojo nonetheless.

All was calm after Gojo finished applying the sunscreen to his back. The sounds of Riko screaming and laughing with Kuroi as a wave knocked them over was music to Geto’s ears as he continued to happily sunbathe. That was until he felt Gojo’s finger run up the back of his leg from the sole of his foot to the back of his knee. Jerking, Geto whipped around so fast he could’ve gotten whiplash and threw sand at Gojo’s face.

“GAAAH!” Gojo shook his head and giggled, smiling playfully at Geto.

“I swear to god, Satoru!” he growled, glaring at the white haired teen. “If you don’t stop…”

“What? If I don’t stop then what?~” Gojo teased, brushing the sand off of his cheek before suddenly tickling Geto’s spine.

“I will not hesitate to unleash the kissy cu-AAAGHHH!!” Geto couldn’t find it in him to spit out an angry remark as Gojo started to gently scribble at his hips. “Dahahammit Satoru!!”

“Hehee. Oh this is good!” Gojo snickered, sitting on Geto’s lower back. “Let’s have a little fun then, Suguru!~”

Geto shook his head, slapping the beach towel he resided on as Gojo’s hands connected with his armpits. While he wouldn’t normally be against a sudden Gojo tickle attack, they were at the beach, not in their dorm rooms where they had privacy. Anyone could look at them and think they were crazy. And worst of all, Riko and Kuroi might possibly join in the fun.

“Thihis is chihildish!! Quit th-this nonsehense!! Sato-RUUUHUHUHU!! IHIHI’M SEHERIOUS!!” Geto wheezed, reaching back to push Gojo away once his hands settled on his hips.

All that came in response was Gojo humming, happy to just tickle his friend to pieces. Giggling, Gojo suddenly lay on top of Geto, going for his ribs, hips and armpits all at once. Laughing, Geto flailed about, kicking up sand before he submitted to the sensations plaguing his body.

“Is this still childish?” Gojo snickered, rolling Geto onto his back. “Tickling my best friend and making him laugh is childish??”

“Y-YEHEHES YOU GOON!” Geto cried, wheezing as Gojo dusted the sand off of his stomach. “KNOHOHOCK IT OFF!!”

“Make me stop, Suguru!~” Gojo taunted, smug as ever. “Why don’t you make a curse stop me?~”

Gojo let out a yelp as Geto kicked him in the back. Seeing his opportunity, Geto bucked his hips as hard as he could, successfully dislodging Gojo from his waist. Without hesitation, he ran into the water to join Riko and Kuroi, Gojo hot on his heels.

“Amanai! Kuroi!!” he wheezed, shivering as his feet, thighs and then hips were submerged in the water. “Please help me!!”

“What’s wrong? Is Gojo being a turd?” Riko asked, clearly not surprised Gojo would be starting some chaos.

“Yeah! He’s engaging in childish activities!!” Geto cried, hiding behind Kuroi.

“What kind of “childish activities” are we talking about?” Kuroi asked.

“W-we don’t talk about that…” Geto stammered, pointing at Gojo and trying hard to ignore the burning of his cheeks. “You back the fuck up!”

“C’mere Suguru!~ I’m not done with you yet! Don’t hide behind Amanai and Kuroi you wimp!~”

Thinking on the fly, Riko let out a battle cry and kicked water into Gojo’s face. Geto saw this as his moment to put the sudden tickle attack to an end and grabbed his friend by the waist. Gojo shrieked, feeling his feet levitate out of the water and into the air. Snickering, Kuroi and Riko watched, wondering what Geto would do.

“There!” Geto said, suddenly tossing Gojo over his shoulder and into the water. “Problem solved.”

Sputtering, Gojo resurfaced, scoffing as he searched for his sunglasses that fell off in all the chaos. Riko and Kuroi both snickered as Geto loomed over him, his arms crossed.

“You done with these childish antics, Satoru?” he asked, Gojo laughing and putting his glasses back on.

“Pffft! Nah but I won’t do anything for now.” Gojo sang, poking Geto’s tummy.

“For now?!?” Geto squawked, splashing Gojo once again. “Don’t you dare tickle me again!”

“Aaah.” Riko snickered, nodding her head at Kuroi. “That’s what “childish activities” meant.”

A/N: Thank you for the request!🩷I loved writing for Gojo and Geto so much! It’s refreshing to start writing for other fandoms.

[oneiroy]

Ryssrael Waenwyn

B A S I C S

Name: Ryssrael Waenwyn

Nicknames: Ryss (for all her friends), and a few pet names for Fornax only (like sunshine or captain)

Age: 26-32 (ARR>EW)

Nameday: 1st Sun of the 5th Astral Moon

Race: Sea Wolf Roegadyn

Gender: Butch

Orientation: Bisexual

Profession: Warrior of Light (for non-WoL AU: either mercenary / freelancer or pirate)

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C  T S

Hair: Black, ranging from short to shaved, always messy (well, unless it's shaved. but still messy in spirit vjkfnvjsdf)

Eyes: Rich brown that almost looks reddish

Skin: Green pulling towards yellow (yes technically green... the shaders never do it justice though. i need to come up with a fix that doesn't mess the rest of the coloring)

Tattoos/scars: A wide variety of scars all over her body, with a higher concentration on her left arm. A small red tattoo under her right eye.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Unnamed sea wolves, former dockworkers, who she is not in contact with anymore. Probably still alive somewhere in Limsa.

Siblings: She would say that the friends she grew up with are her siblings. Swynfyr, Servan and R'osen, three adoptive brothers.

Grandparents: I didn't get that far tbh

In-laws and Other: Uhhh yeah idk. Most of her blood family isn't that relevant to her current story tbh. But! Other, spouse: Fornax :)

Pets: No pets, she doesn't feel like her lifestyle is compatible with that.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Fighting with pole and axe-based weapons of all kinds. She is very athletic and maintains her body as strong as it can be. She also pulls from her inner rage, or from the strength Midgardsormr grants her, depending on the situation.

Hobbies: Hiking, swimming, fishing, training. Cooking, but mostly eating good foods.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Her contagious confidence

Most Negative Trait: Her impulsiveness paired with the fact that she's quick to anger

L I K E S

Colors: Black, green, red

Smells: Ocean breeze, blood and metal, rain, broth

Textures: Worn leather, calloused hands, wood bleached by the sea and warmed by the sun

Drinks: Beer, rhum, water

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: Sometimes but not often, only if offered.

Drinks: Often in good company. She can drink a lot before being visibly affected by it.

Drugs: Recreationally but not regularly

Mount Issuance: She still has her black chocobo! But when it's not conveniently around, she often goes on foot or hitch a ride.

Been Arrested: So many times when she was young. She stole a lot, and got in trouble for doing "jobs" for less than reputable folks. Now less, in part because she's less struggling with gil, but also in part because she got better at it.

Tagged by: @hazelkjt, thanks!

Tagging: @elliewiltarwyn, @viiioca, @necro-man-sir, @chadhunkler, @fantasmagoriam, @elf-simp, @sealrock, and you if you want to do it!

[donutz]

Bive x reader fluff alphabet[1/16]

A/N|| This has over 3000+ words, I think I like Bive🤔

Affection(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

— Uhhh, I'm not sure! Oh nevermind, she's really affectionate

— And that usually applies with quality time, it can apply to physical touch(not so much giving, but loves receiving), gift giving, words of affirmation(She receives), and acts of service

— So basically, quality time is her thing receiving or not, physical touch is something she prefers to receive, doesn’t mind giving but prefers getting, she loves giving gifts and loves receiving

— I gotta make another part because that’s a lot to type out. She isn’t too good with words(verbally, she can have AMAZING poems), but LOVES receiving words of affirmation, also very much appreciates acts of service

— If you hold the door open for her, she might just blush from your kind act

— Sorry for going on a rant, but anyways she usually shows affection with quality time and physical affection(holding hands)

— Hugs are a little too intimate for her, but holding hands are just right

Best friend(How would they be as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

— It would start with you talking to her first

— “How come you're made of hair?”

— “... I… DON'T KNOW…”

— “Ah. Well I think your hair is cool.”

— “... REALLY?”

— “Yeah, you’re probably fluffy too.”

— “...”

— “Sorry, was that too much?”

— “NO. IT’S.. FINE.”

— From there on, she actually started talking to you first, usually it’s about her theories or the government

— “BANK ACCOUNTS ARE A SCAM MADE BY THE GOVERNMENT.”

— “Hm?” Basically you were asking how

— “WELL… I’M NOT FULLY SURE, BUT I KNOW THEY ARE.”

— That’s the first time she’s ever told someone she was unsure about her theories, you may just be special to her

— She’s an interesting one, but she’s a great friend.

Cuddles(Do they cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

— Hmm.. Maybe?

— Depends, she’ll cuddle if she’s sad or down, but regularly, she doesn’t cuddle too much, if you don’t ask

— She’ll hesitate the first few times you ask her to cuddle, but after the 5th or 6th time she’ll say yes

— Cuddling with her can get pretty itchy(if she hasn’t brushed her hair in a while), but let’s pretend you can’t feel that

— When she’s in her fluffy stage(aka just being fluffy), cuddling will be the best! She’s so warm too, she naturally absorbs heat so if she sits out in the sun for a while and gives you a hug, you’ll feel the warmth on her

— She prefers being the little spoon, it’s not that she likes being more submissive(not in that way), she just likes your warm(or cold, doesn’t really matter) embrace around her

— May or may not cuddle while watching something, if it’s like documents stuff, sorry, she NEEDS to sit up straight and watch it

— But horror movies or like a cartoon, she would like to cuddle at those times

Domestic(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

— She prefers settling down, well, studying and looking at information on the internet

— Sometimes when she’s more bored, she looks at facts and info about characters

— She probably wants to be the type of person who always researches things about their favorite characters, but doesn’t because she just forgets about it

— When it comes to cooking and cleaning, she probably likes just simple food

— Did I mention she hates cleaning? No? Oh okay, CLEANING IS DISGUSTING.

— SHE HATES IT. Especially when she kind of sheds around the place, she hates sweeping it, not only does it affect her back, but also the fact she has to sweep up her OWN hair!

— She has texture problems

— Also hates cleaning with any cleansing products that has a strong smell

— Like bleach, ewwwwwww, I feel like she’d melt if she touches bleach(considering the fact she’s made of hair💀)

— PLEASE, if you are cleaning with bleach do it for her, she CAN NOT handle the stench OR the effects of it

— I kind of ignored the cooking thing, but she really can’t handle spices.. Well, the smell of it and if it drops on her or something

— If the seasoning drops on her, she might just rush to take a shower

— She doesn’t mind the spices in food! But she’s very careful with it to make sure they don’t get on her

Ending(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

— It will probably be a bunch of stutters or a few stutters, it depends on how she feels at the moment

— “I um.. I would like to.. Separate. From each other.” She was very unsure with what you'd respond with

— Bive wasn't able to make eye contact with you, at all, or any contact for that matter

— She was just looking at the ground, hoping you were okay with what she just said

— “Oh. That's fine. I don't mind.” You said(I'm trying to give you a more chill personality, mainly because everybody's personality isn't the same. Some may cry from this and some may yell because of it)

— She looked up at you, internally happy from you accepting her, but still sad at the fact you'll both no longer be together

— “You're not mad, are you?”

— “No, I'm not mad at you or what you said. I may be sad about our separation, but it's your choice and I won't stand by it.”

— She went silent at what you said.

Fiance(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

— Wow, this section is a big switch

—  Anyways, Bive wouldn't actually mind getting married

— Would be very nervous in front of a whole crowd though

— Could you… Do it for her? Because well, buying the ring is a lot of money, proposing would also be A LOT, and she is really afraid of you rejecting it, she'd never do it in front of a crowd so you don't need to worry about that

— Honestly, she wouldn't mind if you chose if she wears the dress or suit

— If she wants to feel pretty at that moment, she's wearing the dress(No, I'm not saying that only pretty people wear dresses)

— But if she wants to feel handsome, she'll wear the suit(I'm not saying only handsome people wear suits either)

— But I can picture her looking wonderful in a white dress!

Gentle(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

— VERY, at least with you

— There’ll be times where she’s unaware of how strong she can be(I’m not saying she’s like Toji buff, but I mean like when you accidentally hug someone too hard, you know what I mean?)

— So when she hugs you first(pretty rare), she is very gentle with you, as if you’re delicate as a dandelion

— “You can squeeze me a little when giving me a hug, y'know?”

— “Oh. I guess I can..”

— She wasn’t speaking in anxiety-filled caps, so you asked her if she was okay

— “WHAT? I’M FINE.”

— “Oh okay. Just askin’ Bivey”(No, I’m not stealing what Split said, I just thought the nickname would be a good idea)

— “BIVEY.”

— Emotionally, she’s trying to not seem rude or pushy. But she can’t help it.

— If you’re venting to her or something, she’s trying to not say, “JUST CHEER UP.”

— She did that one time, and you MAY have been mad at her, internally. You understand that she didn’t mean it that way and just doesn’t know how to comfort

— If you actually want to be comforted, you’ll have to tell her the ways you prefer to be consoled

— She’ll actually remember that part, and comfort you using those tactics

Hugs(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

— Mmm….

— Uhmmmmmmm….

— Not necessarily..?

— She’s— okay with them.

— Only really if you ask or if she hugs first

— Like is an overstatement

— She’s cool only with you, and maybe Split

— SHE doesn’t do it often, but if you’re the person who’s always hugging or touching somebody, MAYBE she wouldn’t mind how touchy you are

— You’re the only person she’s okay with to touch her 24/7(NOT that way)

— Her hugs can be shaky, they’re never really still

— But most of the hugs feel gloomy, because she usually hugs you when she’s feeling sad(like I’ve said)

— But when they’re(the hugs) not gloomy, you can really tell how nervous she is

I love you(How fast do they say the L-word?)

— Just give her 5 minutes and she can spit it out

— She can’t say really it on the spot

— Too much pressure goes on, and people can’t really operate under pressure

— Especially someone like her(I’m not judging, promise)

— She hesitates sometimes, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you!

— She really does! Just verbalizing the words can get uneasy!

— “I.. I LOVE YOU.”

— “There you go, great job. I love you too Bive ;)”

— You always praise her when she can finally spit it out, maybe just motivating her to say it a little more faster the next time

— And of course, you give her a little kiss on her glasses, you can‘t really on the cheek because… Well, there isn’t really one..

Jealousy(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

— She gets really jealous, but tries to hide it

— But if you’re around Split, MAYBE she can get jealous

— She’s really cool with Split, so it’s very less likely for her to get to the middle point of jealousy

— But maybe if Split's getting too touchy(never going to happen, but let’s just make this up) Bive’s going to step in and just hold your hand or something

— Kind of like a warning, not as if Bive’s saying she’s going to beat her up, but just to say, “I’ma need you to calm down a bit”

— She doesn’t want to come off as too aggressive, trying not to ruin her friendship with Split

— But after you separate away from that person, and it’s just you and Bive, she gives you a hug, putting her head of hair(get it?) on your shoulder

— “You don’t.. Like them, do you?”

— (As a friend) “Not romantically. I like them as a friend, Bive. But I like you way more than just a friend.”

— (As a stranger) You chuckle, “No Bive. I could never, that’s just a random stranger. I’m pretty sure I’d love you more than just a stranger.”

— “... You’re pretty sure..?”

— “Oh my god—” You ended up giving her a bunch of kisses all over her face, and picked her up, spinning her around

— Like the happy couple you both are <3

Kisses(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

— Hairy

— Uhm.. Not to be weird or anything, but I think Bive can open her teeth(Because I guess she doesn’t really have lips..) and she has a snake-like tongue

— NOT IN THAT WEIRD WAY IT’S JUST A HEADCANON!!

— But she kisses with her teeth, she doesn’t like lick you or anything(💀?)

— She actually, well probably, enjoys kissing you on the mouth! But she mainly kisses on your cheek

— Maybe even the neck, sometimes she doesn’t realize how intimate it is

— She did it one time and if you’re ticklish there, she might(or not) just take advantage of how tickly you are

— Once she realizes, she grins pretty wide, just happy she could make you smile

— She occasionally likes a kiss on the teeth(her own ��lips’ I guess), but loves forehead and cheek kisses

— She gets all giddy

Little ones(How are they around children?)

— There’s actually another process for this to happen(even with nm[non-men]) somehow, so if you want that process to happen with her, go ahead.. I guess??

— But anyways

— Kids probably are scared of her

— They think she’s freaky

— Sorry Bive😭

Morning(How are mornings spent with them?)

— She’s always cuddled up to you, usually with her head on your chest

— She’s definitely the little spoon

— Bive can’t be the big spoon for THE LIFE of her.

— I’d like to think she’s the one who wakes up first, even if you’re a person who wakes up at 5 am, she’ll wake up even a minute before you

— She really enjoys your warmth, so sometimes it’s hard for her to get up in the morning

— Sometimes she just stares at you while you’re sleeping, not in the creepy way, but just to admire your sleeping face

Night(How are nights spent with them?)

— To answer possible questions, she takes off her glasses when sleeping, and I personally think she doesn’t really have eyes so…

— She’s kind of a black void, and you could probably reach through her face

— Anyways! She sleeps after you’ve fallen asleep

— She wants you to get as much rest as possible, she doesn’t make you go to sleep early or anything but she justs wants you to function correctly in the morning

— I don’t think she really snores, just a thought! MAYBE she purrs, even if she’s not really a cat

Open(When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

— She’d open up far into the relationship

— I’m sure there would be plenty of things she’d reveal about herself, even if I’m not aware of her lore

— She really wouldn’t want to get rid of her relationship with you, or just you in general, so she’d wait

— Maybe, just maybe, early into the relationship she’d want to say ALLL of the things she wants to

— But hey, you might just dislike her a week into the relationship, find her weird, or quickly lose interest

— She can’t just trust people that easily.

— If you were ever to say that opening up to you is just fine, she’ll ask if you’re serious

— Just wanting to make sure you were telling the truth, I mean A LOT of information is going to be dropped on you so just prepare

— “Yeah, you can drop all of the lore you want to. Or piece it by piece. I wouldn’t mind Bivey.”

— She wanted to drop everything on you, just wanting you to hear her out

— But she really didn’t want to overwhelm you or drive you away

— So she said it piece by piece

— You held her hand and told her, “It’s okay, I’ll take all the info you spill on me. I won’t find it weird, or you. You can tell me whatever you like.”

—  She basically just stared at you for 30 seconds, thinking about how she really scored.

Patience(How easily angered are they?)

— There are times where she can seem angry, but isn’t, it’s just her tone

— At least it seems that way to others

— She’ll speak in caps, but not yelling or screaming

— I don’t think she’ll ever really be mad at you, if so, she’ll keep her feelings inside

— She doesn’t want to express it, she doesn’t want you sad or mad at her

— She keeps a lot of negative emotions to herself, when it comes to you

Quizzes(How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

— Her memory is bad, and she hates that about herself, she’s kinda insecure

— ‘I wish my memory wasn’t so bad.’ She would think about herself

— She tries really(I’ve noticed I said ‘really’ a lot, I’m sorry) hard to remember what details you provide her that’s about yourself

— Her memory is so bad that she puts your birthday on a calendar, just so she doesn’t forget at that time

— Like sure, you can ask her out of nowhere and she’ll say it

— But on your birthday? She relies on her calendar

— Buttttt, she’ll usually tell you the second it strikes 12! So her calendar doesn’t matter, unless she somehow forgets what day it is

Remember(What is their favorite moment in the relationship?)

— When you said you were fine with how she talks, accepting the way she is

Security(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

— Don’t blame her for this, but she isn’t good with protecting

— But she’s good with running away, clumsily

— Anywho, she can get jealous but isn’t too protective

— She isn’t too strong, she has the average ‘human’ strength

— Based on the person, she’d say, “OKAY. We need to leave. NOW.” Because number 1, she wants you away from that person and number 2, if it’s going to get physical, she doesn’t want you hurt

— If you would protect her, she get pretty flustered by it

— Like, you’re protecting her? From someone else? Because you care about her?

— Holy moly :O

Try(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

— She wants the date to be and look as professional as possible

— She puts a lot of effort into it, and hopes that you’ll love it

— It can look kind of messy, but you know she put many attempts into getting the date just right

— For anniversaries, she put it on her calendar, but didn’t say it the moment it striked 12!

— Because she forgot allll about it! Even the day you two got together , she forgot what an anniversary was, and just collected data

— Which led up to a specific day, and that day is what she believes both of yours’ anniversary!

— She rushed out of the house early in the morning to get you a bouquet of flowers, appreciate her effort please

— “Bive you actually did this?!!”

— And you see your bed decorated with many gifts of your favorite things while Bive stands in a corner with your favorite colored balloons

— Everyday tasks are handled by the both of you, which is always an amazing experience for her

Ugly(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

— Maybe how her tone can sound at times? She doesn't really notice it either

— But me too girly, I can’t judge🤷‍♀️

Vanity(How concerned are they with their looks?)

— Isn’t really, just wondering why she looks so strange

— Why is she made of hair?

— Just like the first question you’ve ever asked her.

— But no, she’s not insecure because of you, she just wants to find an answer to your question

Whole(Would they feel incomplete without you?)

— She’d probably feel less on edge, finally getting rid of that negative gut feeling

— I wouldn’t say she’d be happier though

— She’ll still crave your touch and your loving words

Xtra(A random headcanon for them.)

— She HAS to have anxiety, and I’m not even making fun of her

— I really think she is uneasy with things, when she’s in public, but in private(like at home), she’s more chill but still on edge

Yuck(What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

— Maybe if you make it seem like you don’t love her

— It would make her overthink, a lot

Zzz(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

— Being the little spoonnn♡

[idkanametoputhere]

I BROKE THE CODE-OH OH OHHHHHH

sorry I love nemo. uhhh yeah more spam WOOOOO

HOLY SHIT! THE SPADE? THE HAT? THE EVERYTHING???? DAMNNNNNNN

YES ORTHO I WANT US TO MATCH SWEETIE I LOVEVYOU YOURE MY LITTLE BROTHER AHHHH

I don't remember why I screenshoted this....

ItS aMamAziNg oHHhH. FanTAsTiC aHhHhH

I don't remember this either. but I love ortho being a little mischievous piece of shit

OKAY WOOOOO OFF TO NEW BOOK 7 CONTENT (I'll separately post my pulls)

HERW IS THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

BAUL....OR BAUR....CROC MAN

I FINALLY FUCKING WON HOLY SHIT FUCK YOU LILIA I SPENT IVER 20 MINUTES ANALYSING WHAT MOVES AND DEBUFFS HE HAD SO I COULD WIN ANSHJSKDKDBDHS

LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! IM GOING FERAL. ALSO I THINK THATS HES REACTION TO BEING CALLED FATHER??!!!! LMAO REMINDS ME OF MY TEACHER-

SON OF A BITCH TF DO YOU MEAN 1HP????!!!!!! SUCK MY GIANT IMAGINARY DICK

BABAHAHABBSBS I LOVE HOW THEY REDUSE TO LWT HIM COOK

BROTHER GOT SO OFFENDED WHEN THEYBWERE AHOCKED HE HAD A SENAITIVE PALLET SNSNSBNSJSJ

[kxizoku-ou]

I saw the Sanji was at the top of your list for One piece characters you were interested in tormenting and I got so excited. Most of the Sanji content/head canons I've come across are all about him as a Dom/top (except when he is paired with other men). But I think he (and plenty other one piece characters ) would be a great candidate for your type of writing. If you ever have any thoughts on them, I hope you post it!! I always love hearing what you come up with!

Yeah, Sanji is wayyyy too pathetic for me to see him as a dom (in terms of reader-insert stuff, at least). XD And uhhh... I've had MANY thoughts about him already. Since we're already on the topic of smut, you get a (partial/current) list of his (somewhat concerning) kinks. XD

. . .

• An obvious one, but Sanji's desperation to be useful absolutely ends up as a sex thing for him, too. The idea of wanting fills him with shame and self-loathing, and the best way he's found to swallow that is by making any intimate situation entirely about the other person. Even in his fantasies, he's always the one serving his partner and earning whatever indulgences he's given, his own pleasure coming second to fulfilling their needs (if it's acknowledged at all, even).

• Being extremely susceptible to praise seems to be a near-universal character trait in One Piece, but Sanji has it worse than most. He puts up plenty of emotional walls (especially when kind words come from anyone but a safe pretty woman), but especially once someone's opinion matters to him, a simple "good boy" would haunt him for months. Doing things right was such a foreign concept for most of his life, after all, how could he not still so badly want it?

• Whether his partner actually has a size advantage over him or not, Sanji likes feeling smaller. It's definitely a factor that well-fed people tend to have more weight on them, but even simply being pinned down or manhandled is undeniably (and sometimes embarrassingly) arousing, for potential reasons that he really doesn't want to dwell on.

• Though he's stubbornly refused to entertain the idea even in his most unthinking fantasies, certain parental figure-oriented titles are bound to slip out sooner or later. Yes, both. The "mommy" version comes right from some very emotionally vulnerable parts of his psyche, but even though he dreads acknowledging that, the "daddy" version (rough, physical associations and all) is far worse.

• On that note, Sanji is definitely something of a masochist. Most of the love he's experienced (or hoped for when it wasn't really there) has come hand-in-hand with pain, and that definitely got a few wires crossed in his head. Between that, the adrenaline high, and the subconscious need for self-punishment... yeah, it can get messy.

• It's an entirely hypothetical fantasy (and a vague, emotion-driven one, at that), but Sanji has come back to the thought of being eaten more times than can be considered quite normal. To quote a particular source, Sanji "has a complicated (i.e. insane) relationship with self-sacrifice"— combined with the stranded-on-an-island experience and his overall fixation on food and cooking, it's all added up to a warped sort of fixation on (sometimes erotic) cannibalism.

(^^^Bonus source for that one!)

[bigolbadblog]

uhhh i'm back on my bullshit

thinking bout. stuffing mr. the duke

okay first off. the capacity on that man? absolutely unbelievable. you can fit SO MUCH good food in that bad boy

he loves eating for pleasure. naturally. but most of the time he's eating for mouth-pleasure more than belly-pleasure, if that makes sense. the flavors, the mouthfeel, even the aromas. he also enjoys the heavy, warm, slightly achy feeling of a true stuffing; it's just that he can put away so much food without even beginning to feel it, so much so that reaching that state of feeling overfilled takes WORK. a feast that would leave you stuffed to the gills is just about enough to bring him to "comfortably full." which is really the most he has time for, on a typical day. what with travelling all over and running a small business and all, he's a pretty busy guy.

but when he does get the chance to fully and i mean fully indulge his appetites.... oh boy. Oh Man. oh boy oh boy oh boy

most of the time i imagine him more as a feeder or a self-feedee. (as a side note, yes he does find an element of vicarious pleasure as a feeder in seeing his partners / playmates get utterly stuffed on a fraction of the food it'd take for him. it's not the same as experiencing it for himself, but it's still lovely to hear them panting and burping and moaning, as well as getting to rub their poor little bellies. plus, it's kind of adorable to him. aw, that's all it takes to get you so full you can't even think straight, much less get out of your chair? how sweet.)

when he wants to get stuffed, though, he gladly welcomes assistance. like i said, it's a big job. if you're cooking for him, prep will take you days. if you're with him at a restaurant or a banquet, it's gonna be your job to make sure his plate is never bare and his glass is never empty.

he's a man of taste. he likes variety in what he eats. he's not a snob- if it's good, he has no issue with polishing off an entire roast ham or a cook-off sized cauldron of chili, repetitive though it may be- but if you truly want to win his heart, offer him multiple courses of many different foods. it's the best way to keep his interest piqued and his palate entertained.

either way, it's gonna. take. hours.

he will notice how flustered you're getting as you bring him plate after plate. and he WILL tease you about it.

you couldn't possibly keep up with him, and you're too busy to try, but there will be several points where you do need to sit down and eat with him. all your meals and all the space in between them go by while he's still eating continuously.

he's a pretty chatty guy, but while he eats, he likes to focus on eating. he's surprisingly quiet, except to praise the food (and tease you, of course).

maybe about seven or eight courses in, you start to notice he's resting his free hand (that is to say, the hand that isn't constantly ferrying more food and drink to his mouth) on the curve of his belly. but he still keeps up the pace as he eats.

because he's so big, he doesn't show the bloat of a stuffing as obviously as smaller people would. which contributes to the impression that all this food is genuinely going into a bottomless pit. but sometime after you lose count of how much food you've brought him, you look at him and notice subtle changes in his silhouette. the curve of his belly gets perkier, with more bulk higher up, and he leans slightly further back in his chair to give himself room to breathe. and still he keeps eating

he's a very civilized eater. cuts his food into dainty bites, chews thoroughly, takes delicate sips of his drink, etc. because of those habits, he doesn't get super gassy super fast. but even so, with the amount of food he's packing away, yeah, there's going to be some air that'll need to get worked out as all that begins to digest.

civilized burper, too. surprisingly quiet, yet a true baritone. at first, he favors letting out several smaller burps rather than singular long belches. he covers his mouth with his napkin each time- at least, he does until he gets so full that a belch surprises him in the middle of a sentence.

at that point, he does take a break from eating to have a cup of hot green tea and let his stomach settle. if you ask nicely, he'll let you rub it. it takes you a while to find the sweet spots amid all that bulk, but you will absolutely know when you get it right. a few more longer, louder burps, but more than that, the sighs that man lets out when you rub him right... 🥵

and then dessert, of course! he'll let you hand-feed him at this point, as it's getting difficult for him to sit forward and reach the food. but he absolutely expects you to keep to his own standards of civil dining. no mess, no rush, no oversized bites. that black forest gateau is so lovely - it would be a shame for any of it to go to waste.

when the feasting is finally concluded, his face is flushed, his breathing heavy, his already massive belly pert and swollen. like any classy gentleman, he likes to finish his meals with another cup of tea or coffee, a cigar, and conversation. (this next part is for those of y'all who like some recognizable sex activities in your feedism:) but you've been so attentive and eager, and he knows how badly you've been wanting him this whole time, so while the water is heating up for that drink (and okay, you set the heat so low that it's gonna take a while), he'll give you your dessert. you might have to get a little creative with positions, though, because...

that man is not getting up when this is done. wherever you are, he's made his seating space comfortable (or instructed you on how to do so) ahead of time. cuz he's gonna be there for a while. after you share a post-meal drink, smoke, and conversation, he drifts off into a food coma right where he is.

just. a truly delightful time to be had by all.

[silverwarewolf]

🥀 - Favorite unusual compliment? (ie "You're crunchy")

💎 - Favorite thing about yourself? (Appearance, personality, etc)

and

🎀 - What character do you feel represents NPD best?

:3

Yes, yes, thanks for the ask!! For the many questions!! I love answering questions!! Ask game here.

I have the same energy as a hamster who is being studied, sometimes. Which does tie into the first question.

🥀- Well, I love compliments in general. Surprising, right? (/sarcasm). But this is about unusal compliments. There's one that I have gotten textually which was "you need to be studied in a lab," and honestly, yes! It reminds me of that one scene in b99 where Gina has the attention of an entire group of professionals.

There's also the category of compliments that are normal ones but said in a freaked out tone. For example, when I mention some strange and unusual fact and people are like "you're so knowledgeable" but they have visibly been dealt psychic damage by what I just said. It's fun!

Last but not least, frogboiling. "You talk so much about [strange and unusual topic] that I like it now / am desensitized to it / think about it sometimes" is HELL YEAH from me. Alas, I suppose it starts to veer away from "unusual compliment" territory.

💎- I feel like a cat who has been given a sack of catnip?? Hello?? Mm, well. is it cheating when I say "my vibe"? Perhaps if I specifically say "being reliable / dependable / a role model," which I know I am.

I've taught people how to cook / bake. I've taught people how to paint and write and sew. I am always ready to offer good advice, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, etc. I have very sharp senses so I can help people identify smells / flavors / sounds from really far away / who is walking nearby. I know various methods of healing! And uhhh I also think I'd make a great parent someday teaching so many skills - and singing, boy I can't wait to sing lullabies I know they would love my lullabies.

🎀- hmm! hmm hmm hmm let me think... i rarely retain information about characters who are canonically disordered, and there's also the whole "good representation" nuance aspect... not to mention that i'm sure my other disorders also change the ways i act, lmao!

all this to say that this comes from a personal feeling of "oh yeah it would be so tasty if this character had npd, they own it, i love it."

of course, shout out to my boy narcissus who was so upset about the inexistence of clonefucking that he died <- GREATLY EXAGGERATED SUMMARY OF THE MYTH at least the version i know

Okina Matara, from Touhou Project. Ah, I could ramble for hours about this series if given the opportunity, but I shall not. Instead, quote the wiki, she has no mercy for disrespect and graciously blesses those she favors, is ostentatious, prideful, confident, self-centered, a mastermind of incidents, has connections to MANY parts of the lore and mythology, and ultimately her first appearance was all about drawing attention and reverence to herself. Plus, she has a canonical connection to disabilities!

Yukari Yakumo / Maribel Hearn, also from Touhou Project. Ditto, I will mostly quote the wiki. She is a mastermind, has incredible intellect, very abstract and private goals, a facade of whimsy and deceit while also actively enjoying making others fear her, and is generally considered as someone who calls the shots. She also has quite the flowery language. Furthermore, as Maribel, she is othered for her tastes / demeanor / abilities, and textually calls herself a celebrity who should be indulged.

Asuka Langley, from Evangelion. Mainly Soryu, as I've yet to watch the rebuild movies, but from what I hear, they don't change her personality that much. Anyhow. The very explicit need for attention and praise, and huge dependance on her self worth (and others' acknowledgement of her worth) is very npd to me. Granted, given the nature of Evangelion, going in depth about the characters' psyches is... a complex venture.

Lapis Lazuli, from Houseki no Kuni. Oh boy oh boy I LOVE HnK, it has such WONDERFUL themes of body horror and existentialism and peace. Anyway. Quote the wiki. He has a charming, leading personality, extremely smart, curious, and at times manipulative. They have been called surprisingly deceitful (could conceal secrets for centuries). So yeah, I love him.

Ahaha, I rambled on quite a bit, didn't I? Again, thanks for the ask!!

[nomsfaultau]

dunmeshi and sbi!fault :DD

I did briefly consider writing a normal sbi crossover cause ohhh my God it would be good. Honestly Laios did bleed into my Techno in Worth far more than your weight in gold cause Techno also gets into that hyperfixation on creature details (although in a lot more 'to kill them better' way). They are ON that grindset. Although polar opposites on Techno 'eating the same potato recipie for 12 months' vs laios 'new dish every meal'. The Blade is such a lazy cook see: cooking headcanons. Laios would openly speculate on how his meat differs from actual pork. And Wilbur would start explaining the flavor profile/texture difference very accurately to everyone's fascination/horror. The Blade also straight up doesn't know Chilchuck is part of the party because he's so tiny he's like 100% in The Blade's blind spot. Like yeah he can smell and hear him but he just keeps forgetting Chilchuck exists. Also confused that the orphan meter isn't pinging but whatever. Marcille constantly bribes him to get access to his long luxurious mane. Senshi is cool with him bc he's familiar with orcs.

I think Senshi and Philza share one brain cell in that regard. Agressively taking care of everyone else. Cause you cannot tell me Philza hasn't seen so so so many people starve to death in famines...not so much worried about cannibalism. Also. Technically Philza isn't in the mental place for more adoption (read: he's mentally stable rn), but it would be soooo funny if he looked at Chilchuck and was like. Another child? Baby? But that's mostly because I love tormenting Chilchuck so very very much. Probably radiating disappointment the second he finds out Chilchuck is not really in his kids life that much currently due to the adventure. Appreciates Marcille's fireballs and black magic. Philza cannot distinguish between Izutsumi and 14 yo Wilbur that's just the same kid.

Wilbur ADORES all the food omg yes this is fantastic. And Marcille is cringing as it eats increasingly inedible dishes and sarcastically teasing her for not eating it. But Wilbur CANNOT handle Laios 'man I wish I was a monster' like he just can't he will punch Laios if he tries that. Him and Izutsumi have the nastiest kvetching sessions it's fantastic. Instant bonding over being distrusting brats that are desperate to be human. Cannot fathom the picky eater thing. Likes how paranoid Chilchuck is, although Chilchuck is convinced a mimic is going to pop out of its head at any time.

Tommy gets even worse dish duty than normal, but these crazy adventurers like. Are really amazed about his power? About how it can be used to sanitize stuff?? Like passionately going on about the health implications and Tommy is just staring at his hands as a wholesome anime monologue is happening in the background while he's having flashbacks to murder. [Marcille and Tommy would be most insufferable duo imaginable. I think they’d constantly butt heads given how bossy yet insecure both of them are. Tommy would eat mud in front of her and Marcille would have an aneurism. And he’d blow a fuse about her thinking he’s essentially a toddler by elf standards. however. Tommy would be extremely encouraging of her explosion magic to a degree that would cause structural damage to the dungeon.] Tries to show off and impress Izutsumi because GIRL!!1! And is very cringefail about it, she and Wilbur team up to bully him. He thinks Senshi is weird and groans about having two Philzas. Constantly riling Chilchuck up about his height.

Tubbo is like thank God normal people who aren't crazy murderers at first. And then decides they're all weirdos but not Problematic to the degree of Fault crew peoples. Thinks Marcille's magic is freaking awesome, and helps her control her meat dragon homunculous guys a lot better. Grand/kid talking with Chilchuck. uhhh ngl having trouble with Tubbo for some reason lol.

Also. On a very big note I think the world building re: monsters could lead to massive angst and tension between the groups. Especially with things like Laios crossing lines on 'humanoid monsters' as food. Like the entire group is constantly talking about eating monsters, and for the Fault crew that's very dehumanizing, racist, offensive, traumatizing, etc. Very high chance they end of fighting each other, however, the funny dynamic trumps all so that's what I went with.

[firefly--bright]

b99 au has me like this can we have some more hcs pls pls pls pl

see u get me

U ASK AND I DELIVER here is part two to the headcanons (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡ (+complimentary moodboard because I Feel Like It)

- ok so after the first date (which goes surprisingly well), you start hanging around the precinct more, and at first Connie and Sasha are ELATED because you didn't do it that often before jean. like they didn't realise that it was because you wanted to see him, sasha was just happy that you'd bring mid-day coffee to her and Connie was happy to just rant to you about how "no-one here trusts me ugh" (he's like a mix of Gina and Charles istg) and ur like mhm yeah it's totally not because you file your paperwork wrong everytime. totally, king. MHM.

- and jean usually grabs some lunch outside (which you notice!) and at this point you're not in an Established Relationship, aka you haven't had the "what are we" talk yet so it's mainly just you guys hanging out. right and eren recognises you and like jokes around with you and it pisses jean off SO BAD and eren (the little shit) KNOWS THAT. so he's just trying to get under jeans skin. and you become like this unofficial part of the family :3

- which, by the way, let's do this. who's who. Reiner is the sarge (yes he goes with the suspenders and yes eren and Connie objectify him because of his boobs). Connie and Sasha are partners because they work really well together since the beginning of Time and they're also really good at acting so they get assigned alot of undercovers. CAPTAIN LEVI it's in the name guys c'mon. hange is the autopsy..person. idk the actual name of it. but you get it. Erwin is Levi's husband and it's the whole arc of them basically adopting the precinct :) Mikasa and Armin are partners, jean and eren are also partners (most of the times) because they also work really well together. jean applied to be a lieutenant but that comes way later in the story. so hang on. for rn, tho, Armin is the lieutenant, and marco is the office assistant. ANYWAY

- right so. uhhh cue the Thanksgiving shenanigans. Levi (begrudgingly) invites the whole squad + hange, and asks everyone to bring your own dish. here's what happened

reiner ; guys ok we have to impress the captain and his husband-

eren : his name is Erwin. don't reduce him to just captain Levi's husband

jean : I don't think that's a reduction to his title

eren : stop bootlicki-

sasha : I don't know how to cook anything

Connie : she burnt the packet of ramen once.

....

Mikasa : the...the packet?

Armin : like, the plastic....covering?

sasha : mhm. I've solved alot of crimes.

Connie : yes she has

sasha : feminism isn't a joke.

jean just nods aggressively.

Reiner : right so....to avoid that... do you, can you possibly get someone to help you?

eren : YO WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIEND

jean : their friend has a nam-

eren : what about titles now, horseboy?

sasha : YES WE SHOULD. WE SHOULD ALL GO TO THEIR PLACE TO COOK BEFORE GOING TO THE CAPTAINS PLACE

Connie : IM GOING TO TEXT THEM RIGHT NOW

Reiner : right. that could work.

marco : it really won-

jean : I THINK YEAH WE SHOULD ALL GO TO THEIR PLACE. MHM. yeah I think we should..... uh. yeah.

Armin : I'm sure the captain won't mind inviting them over as well

- yeah anyways that's how. it happened. long story short your apartment almost burned down but hey atleast you got the job done! with like twenty people in your small cube of a house!

- jean is the first one to arrive at your place (for no reason, haha) and you're like "oh good ur here Im babyproofing the apartment just in case." and he doesn't question it and just helps you and tells you about his Thanksgiving stories thoughout the years and you guys connect alot and he opens up alot too :3

-anuway. HALLOWEEN HEIST IS ALSO REAL AND IT HAPPENS. and you participate. the first year is pretty mild for you, you're jeans accomplice as he tries to beat eren's team to steal the captain's cup of tea. and it's a whole Thing and you do the thing you do best - distract the captain. again, surprisingly, you get him to open up a little while jean gets in through the office's ceiling and you're talking to the captain, sweating, "oh yeah no, totally, the DMV is crazy....MHM!! the lines were so bad when I went last." anyway. at the end, eren and jean are tied, back to back to a chair while the captain (very menacingly) asks them if they're proud of what they accomplished. turns out the captain won. (i have headcanons for this too but this post is becoming too long so,,)

- enough about the squad, more about you and jean. right, so soon after Thanksgiving, the two of you finally have The Talk. after a particularly long day at the precinct, jean is slumped over his desk doing paperwork and everyone has almost already left. Connie had come over to ur place to tell you about the shitty day he had, and you fed him some dinner after that, and he fell asleep on your couch while watching a show (not an uncommon occurence) and his situation got you thinking about jean. you usually tried not to bother jean too much by sending too many messages or calling a lot, so he knows it's important when he gets a call from you. and he takes a break from work and answers and he swears you breathe life into him after he hears you ask him how he's doing. he tells you that "these muscles aren't for nothing" which gets a sigh and a laugh in return. "how long are you gonna stay at the precinct?" you ask him. "i don't know, the works never ending." he says and you've already made up your mind, taking a Tupperware of the dinner you had made, along with a thermos of coffee and head on over to the place. when you're downstairs, you call jean again and tell him to come down too and he's like "what are you doing here holy shit it's late" and you're like "yeah I could tell u the same thing. i got u sum food open up slut" and he leads you to the balcony to get some fresh air while eating (also because if he were to spill even a morsel of food on his desk after the cleaning crew had gone home, the captain would have his head on a plate. anyway. the terrace/balcony. do u see the parallels.

and you and jean get to talking, you tell him about your day and then are like "I'm sorry if I'm distracting you." "no I like the distraction. i don't mind it." and you smile but then just come out and say it "hey so what are we?" and jeans like "??? have I not asked u to be my partner yet?" and you decide to tease him a bit and are like "partner? are u recruiting me to be a detective?" "no! i mean, if that's what...your passion is, then yes, but please be safe. oh ur fucking with me. okay." and u laugh and kiss him on the cheek and he's like "no that's not gonna cut it" and then he grabs your face (GENTLY) and kisses you so softly and helplessly that you're glad he's holding your face otherwise your bones would've just fallen to the ground without structure.

uhh yes. thats all. if you'd like angst headcanons. hmu 😈 I'm not kidding this is so fun for me to think about I've been Thinking About It for like a month now

also! moodboard time!

:D

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep3 "Dead in the water"

more rewatch notes/commentary I have while watching!! :9

Ew Wisconsin okay...

“guys don't like buff girls.” WHO ASKED?? dumbahh person of the week. I don't even REMEMBER this episode and honestly, I blame you pal. I. Blame. You.

“be careful.” Okay so she's going to die then.

I wish I lived on a lake :(((

HELP THE SLOWMO... uhhh rip girl?? Ig..

Why does Dean look actually insane. He has like 100 newspapers, and his scribbling out faces and circling others 😭😭 i'd call the cops tbh..

Episode three, and second chick we see hitting on dean. It's just bc of his long eyelashes I bet.

LMAO “can I... get you anything else? 😏” “just the check please ☺️” LOVE YOU SAM.

The way dean immediately gives up trying to convince Sam about hookups bc lil bro is still distraught about jess. Like yeah... no way is a hookup gonna seem "fun" to a grieving man

The side eye Sam gives dean when he's telling him about how the people had a funeral for a missing person.

“a funeral?” “yeah for closure or whatever” “closure? What closure. People don't just disappear Dean, others just stop looking for them.” WOAH NELLY... I get it. Bro wants to find dad, dad to find monster, monster to be KKKKKKKKKILLED‼️

vaild.

Okay so Sam is tweaking because he wants to find John, and Dean is— NO WAY HE JUST SAID THAT. “im sick of the attitude.” DAD DEAN CHAT!! also no way he pulled the "I've been with him everyday for the past two years while you were off at school—" BRO.

Great more depressed. old. MEN.

does the loch ness monster exist?

Oh shoot broke dam!! More like... Dam I'm BROKE!!

Dean being good with kids part 1!! Also this is why I have a hard time believing he's so bad with Jack like... LOOK ST THIS.

Dean and his 3 woman in three episodes.

“must be hard with your sense of direction.. trying to find your way to a decent pickup line.” HEYOOOOO!! she ate that.

“‘i love kids’?? You don't even like kids.” “yes I do!” “name 3 kids that you even know.” LMAO NOT SAM GATEKEEPING KIDS LIKE ITS AN INDIE BAND!!! also yes he likes kids, he literally raised you Sam wtfdym?

Wait so late monsters do exist?? THE LOCH NESS IS CANON?? just not here..? Damn I thought since bigfoot was fake that would be too.

I'm pretty sure it's some ghost chick.

Yikes more dead...

“no wonder that kid was so freaked out, watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over..” DEAN :((( I always forget he watched Mary die, cause like Sam too, he just doesn't remember it.

Dean is so good with kids :(((

STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE.

“when I was your age I saw something... anyways..” FUCK.

DWAHHH LUCAS TAKING THE PICTURE DEAN DREW ☹️

AWH HE GAVE DEAN A PICTURE!! they made a connection.

Oh shoot.. that man is so dead. “im gonna make some dinner”

OH SHIT ITS IN THE PIPES

your dead kid. D E A D. IDC tho you ain't Lucas

Ew don't dig in the dirty water. HOLY SHIT HE DROWBING. HE DROWBNIN

Damn.. and in dirty water. I could never.

Bill Carlton is cooked. Literally everyone he knows is dead now.. like damn. Wtf did he DO.

“my children are gone..its worse than dying..” MORE SAD OLD MEN OMFG.

Lucas drawing is important!!

Why don't these people ever be like “yea.. serial killer man..” LIKE A BELIEVABLE BUT STILL CRAZY LIE. "Why the FBI here?" "Serial killer." ITS THAT EASY.

Dean getting help from a kid AHHHHHHHH!!

“your... scared..? I understand.. you see when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared too.. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see my mom.. I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day.” FUCK. JUST TEAR AT MY HEART STRINGS THEN DEAN. “and I do my best to be brave.. and maybe your dad wants you to be brave too.”

LUCAS YOU THE GOAT!!!

so now they are looking for the house Lucas drew and Dean like "man where tf is it?" And Sam's like "uh.. maybe let's look for the church?"

“ohhh collage boy thinks he's so smart!!” Dean the goat of this episode

Sam twitching because he doesn't know if or how he should bring up deans speech. Honestly now that I think about it Sam digs into deans personal stuff alot, mostly because Dean is jaded and hides stuff but IDK it's interesting.

“oh God we're not gonna have to hug or anything are we?” like you wouldn't enjoy that..

The churchhhhh

OMG THE BIKE. IT WAS BIG IN A DIFF DRAWING AND HERE IT IS AGAIN. omg wait it is important.

He's missing.. the kid with the bike.

HOLY COW. all the parents talking about how losing a kid is worse than death, and hey I know what canonically happens in death and uhh, idk if your right about that. Hell? eck.. ghost life?? yikes.. heaven? good but.. mehh...

Rip lil kid. Rip

HE KNEW BILLY. holy cow. Dead kid knew billy. Billy Carlton knows something is going on?? WAIT WHATS HAPOENING.

So wait is the dead kid the ghost..?

HOLY COW THAT BOAT FLEWWWW!!

Lucas having another vision??.. OH SHIT YEA THE GHOST GIES AFTER HIS MOM OR SMTH RIGHT??

THIRD TIME GETTING CAUGHT LMAOOO. “and your not really wildlife service..” HELP.

this cop made sus. Why you so mad these guys are investigating a murder?? They weird but like..

LUCAS KNOWSSSS..

This is kinda like a call forward or uhh foreshadowing to Sam's visions, which is kinda dope

LADY DON'T TAKE THAT BATH. NOT JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA SEE YOU NAKED..

deans going back to town even after being threaten because lil kid was scared. GOAT. the goat I tell you.

“who are you and what have you done with my brother??” it's really not out of character for him Sam😭

DON'T TAKE THAT BATH LADY. YOUR DEAD. DOOMED.

oh whatever. I give up. EW MURKY WATER. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT LADY.

poor lucas.. lil bro bouta become an orphan.

LMAO DEAN THREW LUCAS OUTTA THE WAY. and Sam actually saved her 🤷

So wtf is after them. I DON'T REMEMBER.

Oh shoot puppy dog eyes Sam is back. “tell me what happened. Everything. 🥺”

More Lucas visions..

THEY FOUND THE BODY. or no? THE BIKE.

THE SHERIFF DID WHAT NOW.

No dead ghost Peter LEAVE LUCAS ALONEE!!

oh shit he did kill someone.

OH SHIT.

YOU WERE A BULLY?? EE. I HATE YOU. YOU KULLED HOM?? WTF.

dude no your daughter should stay away from you you freak.

LUCAS IS DROWNING.

Mermaid Dean 🧜

Sacrifice yourself for Lucas? Valid sheriff. Valid.

WOOO ITS OVERRRR!! MYSTERY SSSSOLVED!!

AW LUCAS IS TALKING AGAINNN!!

Dean teaching random kid his morals and tastes in music LMAO.

dean pulls yet NAOTHER woman. Are you fr?

One of my least favorite episodes tbh..