#YOU'LL MAKE ME CRY

[projectbluearcadia]

Just Mix Up And Down

[ Trigger Warning - Self-Hatred, implied s**cid*l tendencies You're not perfect, and you're only one person. People care about you.

Reader Discretion Advised ]

Lucifer: And?

Here we go...

Annelie: And what?

Lucifer hands Annelie a cutting board. 

Lucifer: You know what. 

Annelie: No idea what you’re talking about.

Annelie starts cutting vegetables while Lucifer restrains a mandragora root. 

Lucifer: Annelie, it’s not often that I see you genuinely angry. 

Annelie: ...the memories I have of Lizzy aren’t good ones. 

Annelie stops her knife. 

Annelie: Honestly, this is kind of a nightmare for me. She says something off-the-cuff, and I’m reminded of the phonecalls, that asshole that called himself her father, h-her desire to show me what she did to herself... 

Annelie starts shaking, her voice rising up and down. 

Annelie: I get so angry, and then I hate myself for getting angry at her because I’m supposed to be her friend. I was always listening, for years I was listening, and she was in so much pain all the time. I wanted to help her. I wanted to, but everything I ever did only seemed to make it worse, and I just... 

Tears spill from Annelie’s eyes. 

Annelie: What was I supposed to do? I was her anchor, and I couldn’t even return the love she had for me. I couldn’t even help her. I was powerless!

Lucifer rushes over to hug her.

Annelie: DON’T TOUCH ME! 

Lucifer flinches, and Satan, returning with fresh meat, stops in his tracks and drops it on the floor. 

Annelie: I’m... I’m a foul person. I pretend, and I pretend and I pretend some more that I care, but I don’t. I pretend that I’m some kind of saint that wants to save people, but if I really cared about her, she would have felt better. She wouldn’t have been the one begging for my attention. If I’d tried a little harder, I could have held her in my arms and kissed her and told her that everything would be okay. I couldn’t let go of myself for just one second for her. 

You fucking selfish bitch. You just wanted to get rid of her. Was it too much to handle for you? You think you’re such an exemplary human being when you’re the one that left her to die.

Satan: Annelie, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but stop it. Lucifer’s close to breaking point. 

Annelie jolts as she looks at Lucifer, who seems as if he’s going to cry. Satan’s demon form starts to come out. 

Lucifer: ...I’m fine, Satan.

Satan: You’re clearly not. Neither of you are fine. I pretend to smile enough, so don’t treat me like an idiot. Annelie, there is no one in this goddamn house that thinks you’re a bad person, so stop crying before I or someone else kills that woman. If Lucifer starts crying in front of me, which I do not want to fucking see, you’d better make sure I don’t see her face in here again. I don’t care what her reasons are, because as far as I’m concerned, she’s an outsider and doesn’t belong here. 

Annelie: Satan...

They... all get so angry for my sake. If something hurts me, they always come running. No matter what. But... wouldn’t I do the same? In the end, for them, I...

Annelie sniffles and walks over to the two boys and hugs them both as tightly as she can. Satan blushes. 

Satan: Wait, woah, I just had my hands on raw meat—

Annelie: Oh, shut up. 

Annelie kisses his cheek before she kisses the corners of Lucifer’s eyes. 

Annelie: I’m sorry. I didn’t want to drag you into this mess. I’m just... It’s a lot for me. I don’t want to snap at her. 

Satan: Then take your own advice and take a deep breath. 

Annelie: Ass. 

Annelie fluffs Satan’s hair, and he swats at her. 

Annelie: I should start calling you Catan again. Haha. 

Lucifer: Are you flirting with Satan again?

Annelie: No, you jealous idiot. Besides, when he talks about BDSM play, he scares the shit out of me.

Satan: Eh? I do?

Annelie: I mean, Lucifer’s into some rough stuff, but he doesn't do anything too hard. I mean, he’s never, y’know, choked me until I passed out or put me in a cage and degraded me to oblivion... 

Lucifer: And why were you talking about Satan’s preferences?

Annelie: Ah, oh, we were reading Diabolic Lamb, and there’s a really abusive and horrifying relationship between one of the characters and their mother—

Lucifer: Stop, I read that one. Fine, I’ll give you a pass. 

Satan: I might like some... more rough things sometimes, but you’re just as bad with that NSFW ASMR obsession.

Lucifer: You’re into what now?

Annelie: Uhhh...

Satan: She didn’t tell you about that? I’ll be damned. 

Lucifer: Tell me about what? What’d she say to you, Satan?

Satan: Haha. Not telling. 

Lucifer: Annelie, what is that?

Annelie: Not telling...?

Mostly because it already drives me crazy when he uses my voice kink against me.

Lucifer: Okay, Karasu, what the flying hell is “NSFW ASMR”?

Karasu OS: ASMR stands for “autonomous sensory meridian response.” This is a subjective experience which some humans feel when their ears are stimulated by certain sounds, often described as a tingling or electric sensation. NSFW stands for Not Safe For—

Lucifer: Annelie, we’re going to have a talk after dinner. 

Annelie: Just a talk... right?

Satan: When is it ever just a talk with him?

Annelie: ;;;;

[simplywrong]

EVERYONE SHOULD FOLLOW YOU SINCE YOU'RE SWEET AND KIND AND FUNNY AND AMAZING !!!!!! AND NO I WON'T STOP YELLING BECAUSE I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU HEAR ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, I don't know what to say ♥️🥺 You are the best <33333333

[i-am-pinkie]

There is no life without hope. That's why Tolkien's works resonate with so many people and remain relevant. 😊

tbh nothing is weirder to me than manly grimdark dudebro lord of the rings bc it’s just??? the epitome of light and love to me???? no narrative embodies hope and gentleness and healing like lotr does why must you insist on talking to me about badass aragorn vs. useless frodo. that’s not the point brad

[dailywilliams]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs to spread positivity 💜🧚🏻‍♀️

asdgfhgksj dilan stop it!! you're the nicest and sweetest person everrrrrrr 🥺❤️💗✨

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[ryanthel0ser]

Welt: so is anyone going to take in this kid who's running away from home with barely any time to say goodbye? Going once....going twice...yeah I already decided to before I asked

[sanjiafterhours]

Can we talk about how normal and incredibly human Luffy was in this scene?

His earth shattering grief didnt awaken any supernatural haki or abilities within him, instead it overwhelmed him, it was destroying him. The bleeding from his throat while his eyes lose focus and his body goes into shock - grief is ugly, loud, destructive and it tears you apart and leaves you vulnerable out in the open- thats what happening to him.

This was Luffy's, a 17 year old kid's moment of overwhelming realization that humans are powerless and weak on the face of death as his brother bled out in his arms while he (and world's most powerful pirate whitebeard) watched it helplessly. This was the biggest loss of his life as he understood that sometimes no matter how hard you try, things don't work out for you. This was when Luffy witnessed the consequence of the path he (and ace) had chosen, that a pirate life was actually much harder than just adventure and freedom and that there was a heavy price to pay, that death could take anyone anytime.

This wasnt just sadness, this was the end of the world for Luffy and he wasn't the same person after this moment.

[cheesecake801]

Throws WIPs and low effort doodles at you

cries why is it so hard to finish wips

[flamingtoads]

Toad they’re out here hating on your girl Athena.

WHA-? WHAT NOW?! (911 s8e8 spoilers in these parentheses: but if it has anything to do with telling that woman to fucking return the cart I will lose my damn mind lol)

Okay, listen here my sweet jellybean! We both know those who are hating on our drop dead gorgeous and talented Queen are some straight up silly-billy goofballs. And we will celebrate their collective wrongness by re-blogging and posting more positivity about the lovely and oh so precious Athena! You agree? I agree! We AGREE!! IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND CHERISH ATHENA GRANT NASH!!

[tehnakki]

Had to have another frustrating convo with a white guy who started his introduction at a sex party I was hosting with "i'm lonely/recently divorced/widowed and haven't had sex in a couple years" and then afterwards reached out to me that he had a good time but couldn't figure out how to initiate anything more than surface level conversations with people.

This is like a regular trope of straight white dudes in a bunch of the sex communities I'm in and I just want to take them all and shake the fuck out of them and scream in their faces "YOU GET BACK THE ENERGY YOU BRING TO AN INTERACTION"

You come in with your mopey ass vibes and then wonder why no one thinks your sexy???? You started the interaction off with "hi, i'm pathetic and sad". Of course that is a vibe killer for almost everyone! Also, you didn't ask for sex! You said that you haven't had sex in a while, which implies that you either don't want to have sex or you don't know how to ask for what you want, both boner-killers.

We give explicit instructions during opening circle to ask for one specific thing you want and these dummies never do. They just say what they don't have and then are surprised that it hasn't changed by the end of the night. And I always model it by going first.

(read more for those who don't want to know what gets me off lol)

"Hey, I'm Nakki, they/them pronouns. I'm a pain slut and always open for pain play with new people. Tonight I would like to be fisted." And guess what, I got fisted by 3 different people, and caned/whipped by 4 others. Super fucking easy.

Thankful one of my cohost is a older cis white man and he has infinite patience for talking these dudes through how to behave like a normal human being at a sex party. So if they reach out to me I give them a quick read of their intro and why it didn't encourage me to ask them to play, and then pass them over to my cohost to have the manly heart to heart about actually listening to what people are saying and asking for what you want.

And over time some of them do get better at interacting and participating. I had one older divorcee guy who was beyond awkward at 4 or 5 parties last year and then showed up a couple weeks ago at one and just said his name and pronouns at opening circle (which impressed me, because normal he mentions he was divorced, and had misgendered me a couple times before) and came up to me immediately afterwards and said, "I've been learning electroplay because you mentioned it last year. I've been practicing it on myself and others and I'm really good at it now. Can I hurt you sometime tonight?" Apparently I got so wet so fast that my top (who had her hand between my legs) started cackling uncontrollably.

Anyways, that guy now has my full consent to choke me on his cock while he electrocutes the shit out of me whenever he wants. And he also has a bunch of regular play partners out of the group because people saw me losing my mind and wanted to take him for a spin as well.

Bring your sexy vibes and you will get sexy back. Bring your sad vibes and you will get sad vibes back. It is so easy. Stop making sex awkward.

[charger-lens]

[shikai-the-storyteller]

[slytherin-syon]

i made the mistake of listening to the pjo musical while also being on a spy x family kick and came to the horrifying realization that Damian is so Annabeth-coded, particularly combining their ambitions with the trauma of being seen as invisible and their determination to prove themselves....

so, here is a damian-centric amv to the song "My Grand Plan"

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[garvalhaminho]

i have a visceral reaction everytime i think of max lightwood, so young, so lively, nine years old, and nine years old forever. and this is crucial information btw i want you all to know this

[ryanthel0ser]

Imagine if the next adventure for Nero is him having to deal with Vergil's messes from his period before DMC3

Just the enemy says something about Vergil and getting revenge through Nero and Nero's like "I ONLY GOT TO KNOW THE GUY FOR LIKE A DAY, HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I EXISTED"