#aee you hearing yourself?

[000marie198]

So Hamas’ strategy worked on you. They never thought they could defeat Israel militarily. They want international sympathy and they have been using propaganda to accomplish that.

Hamas *celebrates* its casualties. Think about that.

Buddy, I grew up on the news of what's been happening in Palestine. All of this isn't recent development for me to believe the 'hamas bad, Israel defending itself' propaganda . Especially since most of the things said to be done by Hamas or Palestine are always debunked with solid proof as something Israeli occupation has been doing or ends up doing. One of those solid proofs being their own words and TikToks. I don't give a flying fuck about militia groups of any place.

I care about the people. Millions of innocent civilians being put through countless atrocities by Israel and it has been happening for decades. Hamas here is also a scapegoat at the moment for Zionists to point at with no basis to distract from or try to justify the genocide

Do you condemn the killing of babies?

Do you condemn bloody gory massacres and no mercy raids?

Do you condemn forced famine? Holding back life supporting supplies?

Do you condemn the use of white phosphorus bombs?

Do you condemn armed soldiers attacking children?

Do you condemn terrorism and rape?

Or are you gonna come in my inbox next saying it's all fair game when it's on Palestinians? Then you'll just contradict yourself, like you all always do, with your own words.

As for the last line of your ask, allow me to remind you, to remind EVERYONE, about the videos Israelis made of cheering when bombs were blasted upon Gaza in October, about the TikToks Israelis made of mocking those dying and they included their children in the mocking, videos of an Israeli man opening and closing his taps and turning off and on his lights with a cheery smiles when Israel first cut off the water and electricity in Gaza, TikToks of IOF soldiers hanging private clothing of Palestinian women as trophies on their tanks, so many videos IOF made of stealing toys and private property and laughing, all the witness accounts of IOF soldiers forcing family members to watch each other get shot like it's a game.

Who's the one celebrating?

I didn't fall for any strategy, I've been in the know before any of this, particularly the event that is consistently being used by Zionists to use as a scapegoat, even started. Find someone else to ragebait, it's not gonna work here.

[kitsu-katsu]

I think my biggest issue with fabriz as a concept is the fact that not only do people do the classic "this character is aro but it's ok if while shipping him I call the relationship a qpr!" And just make the relationship the SAME as with any allo character and have no consideration of Riz's canon uncomfortableness and fear towards the idea of romance, but also the motivation of "but they have so much chemistry!! What if I just want the to be soft and grow old together?" Because... That's such a big tell on how you see things.

It's a big tell on you not getting what Baron said to Riz. Why is it that you can only envision the "growing old together", maintaining closeness and companionship as the years go by, only by having them be paired up? By having it be exclusive, it be them two as a monogamous relationship where they live and sleep together and kiss every day?

Why is it that you look upon the character who's biggest fear was "your friends will all pair up and leave you alone because the romantic relationships are worth more than your friendship and you will be forgotten because you don't want to parttake in this. You are most unlike your parents in a happy union", and say "he can only grow old with one of his best friends and be happy if they're in an exclusive, monogamous, amatonormative romantic relationship "qpr"?

[interact-if]

Day 3 of interviews! Let’s hear it from the lovely Bianca :chinhands:

Bianca, author of An Elemental Existence and Exiled from Court

Latino Heritage Month Featured Author

After spending the last 18 years of your life locked away in a mansion by  your abusive mother, you’ve finally become a normal teenager.

The only problem? There’s nothing “normal” about you. You have the rare power to control all four elements.

Will you be able to learn how to live in the outside world, or will the  memories of your mother continue to haunt you in this slice of life, urban fantasy tale?

An Elemental Existence Demo | Exiled from Court Demo | Author’s Kofi | Discord | Read more about [AEE] and [EfC]

Tags: urban fantasy, historical

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: So, tell us a little bit about the projects you’re working on!

Well, I currently have two personal projects: Exiled from Court, on Itch.io, and An Elemental Existence, on Tales: Choose Your Own Story.

EfC takes place in the 19th century, in Albarzia (a country heavily inspired by Brazil). You play as The Hedonist, a young, selfish noble who’s never had to worry much about the consequences of their actions, or other people in general. It’s mostly a lighthearted stoey, poking fun at the clueless, ostentatious wealth while still trying to explore the inherent weirdness and inescapability of family bonds.

An Elemental Existence, meanwhile, follows a scarred, traumatized 18-year-old with the rare power to control all four Elements recently freed from the grasp of their abusive mother. It sounds dark, but it’s actually a fun slice-of-life written to help people escape from reality and immerse themselves in a world where, at the end of the day, your friends always have your back, and, as long as you do your best and let the universe help you, a happy ending is absolutely guaranteed.

I also work as a freelance writer, mostly for Interactive Fiction! I’m a writer for Lovestruck, and I have a few things coming up I can’t talk about yet (very mysterious, I know!).

Q2: What excites you most about using interactive fiction? What are some of the biggest challenges?

I’ve always appreciated how IF readers seem to be much more emotionally invested in IF than in more linear works. I’m not sure why; I think it has to do with the fact you’re not just playing as the main character, you’re made to feel like you are the main character. People get intense about their ROs because the connection formed between the reader and the character feels so real.

As for the biggest challenges, branching is hard! I feel like people who have never written for IF don’t realize how difficult it is to write branching paths that feel fulfilling no matter which way the player goes while still adding in choices that are actually meaningful, especially towards the ending of the game.

Q3: What has been something in your project you’ve had to do a weird amount of research for?

You’d think it wouldn’t be relevant, but I’ve googled “did they have bathrooms in the 19th century” too many times now for Exiled from Court. The last time I searched it, I was describing a character’s living quarters as the MC was invited to their home for a hookup. After realizing this character, who is low-income, would most likely not have a bedroom, I decided to just quietly not mention it. I imagine mentioning a character having to do their needs outside is too much of a mood-killer!

Q4: Which of your characters is most like you? How?

Evie, The Hedonist’s little sister, is definitely similar to me! Just like her, I’ve grown accustomed to being the younger, quieter, bookish but more responsible younger sibling in contrast to the older, extroverted, partying older sibling. (Between you and me, though, I’d like to think I’m much less uptight than her!)

Q5: Does your heritage influence your characters as you create them? (How? Why or why not?)

Well, considering Exiled from Court takes place in Brazil, for sure! It’s not hard to notice the IF market is severely lacking in settings that aren’t European, or the United States. I decided it was time I let my country shine, while still trying to be honest about its shortcomings and its messier side. Also, a character in An Elemental Existence, Dani, is a Brazilian immigrant. It’s definitely interesting to explore a foreigner in an American setting trying to settle in while still feeling like an outsider.

I also have plans, in the future, to make smaller IF projects so I can write them in both English and Portuguese! Brazilians, unfortunately, don’t tend to be big readers, and you’d be surprised how many functional illiterates we have; but I do believe IF might be a good way to introduce them to lighter, more fun reading. I believe the interactive aspect is an untapped market that could certainly shape new readers.

Q6: What is something you love to see in interactive fiction?

Main characters who aren’t blank slates! I personally think IF is much more fun when you’re able to play as someone completely different, with a strong personality that naturally clashes with the other characters as the story goes on. Too many IFs, in my opinion, excel in writing interesting, complex side characters, while accidentally letting the MC be out-shined in a story that’s supposed to be theirs.

Q7: Any advice to give?

Write for yourself first! There is no point in following trends if your heart is not set on what you’re writing; you may think otherwise, but trust me, people can notice when you’re doing something out of passion, and when you’re only doing so because you feel like you have to. Remember your value as a writer is not on numbers, or followers, or likes – as long as you’re still having fun, then it’s all worth it. Of course it’s great to have your talent be recognized (and I’m sure it will be!), but remember why you started writing in the first place. It wasn’t to please other people, right?

Also: get in touch with other IF writers! There’s a wonderful, funny, helpful community just waiting for you to trade tips, give advice and let out frustration when needed. And, of course, I’m always available to talk! :-)

[heyimboredtalktome]

Look they’re not completely in the right, but honestly your responses are not what you think they are. Maybe idk use some media literacy skills and figure out what they’re saying first.

“These people make me uncomfortable”

And why? Might you ask, why do those people make them uncomfortable?

They’re 14 they’re going to make mistakes and some of those mistakes are going to be not communicating in the way they need too. You as the adult (regardless to how long you’ve been an adult, you still have a responsibility to act like one) need to ask yourself what and why they’re trying to communicate.

I don’t think you should be calling a 14 year old toxic, nor do I think you should be telling them that they’re in the wrong for feeling like these people shouldn’t be in the fandom in a community where they’re going to be inevitably interacting with people like you.

You could be “new” to being an adult but you still have a responsibility to act like one. You may be right in some of your arguments but that correctness is overshadowed by how poorly you handled this.

number 1) "these people make me uncomfortable" BLOCK instead of whatever the hell they do on their blog

number 2) "they're 14 they're gonna make mistakes" they haven't admitted AT ALL to making any mistakes in fact from what im hearing they're quite happily giving people laughing material by embarrassing themselves, believe me had they admitted to their mistake i would've left everything at that

number 3) im the adult that's why i talked to them in as civil of a manner i could, them being younger than me doesn't mean they can say/do whatever the fuck they want and when the consequences catch up them they can't just play the "grown adult harassing me" card iv just turned 18 im not an ancient person

number 4) i didnt call them toxic from i remember i said something about propagating toxicity in the fandom those aee two different things

number 5) i did try to tell them i wasn't being as polite as i would normally be because of the tone of their post

number 6) some of my arguments?? pls tell me which one of my arguments is without a base

number 7) i handled this with as much honesty i could and i did not resort to lies and ive answered every single question that has been asked of me

thanks for being polite <3

[rubysunnday]

hmm maybe shelby sister's first kill & her emotional reaction to it along with the boys reaction (can we make it self defense if that's okay) 🖤

You couldn’t stop staring at those dead eyes on the floor in front of you. On the dead body in front of you. There was blood on your face, but you hadn’t even made a move to wipe it off. You were stuck to the table, your hand gripping the leg tightly as you tried to stop staring.

He’d broken into the betting shop when you’d just been about to leave for the Garrison. He’d waved his gun about, threatening to rape you and kill you. He’d attacked you, thrown you against walls and tables. The window to Tommy’s office was smashed and most of it was in your hair.

He’d managed to get you on the ground, pinned down. You reached for the first thing you could find as he unbuckled his trousers and shot him in the face, blood splattering over your face and onto your dress as he landed on top of you. You quickly shoved him off and scrambled away to where you were now.

You really ought to stand up and call someone. Tell them that you had killed someone.

You’d killed someone.

Someone’s blood was on your hands (and face). You’d watched them die, you’d been the cause of their death.

Was this how it felt? Just, numbness inside. No emotion, nothing. You’d cried, but not because you’d killed someone. Was this how your brothers felt every time they took a life? Just nothing? Complete emptiness inside where emotions were meant to be.

You blinked and your eyes stun. You blinked again. The man hadn’t moved. And you were still clinging to the table like it was a life raft in a storm.

Glass kept cutting your neck and back every time you moved and you knew you’d probably bruised a couple of ribs. But, you felt no pain. There was nothing to feel.

Slowly, you forced yourself to stand up, leaning on the table as your knees threatened to throw you back to the floor. Carefully, you climbed over books, paper, chairs and all manner of stuff on the floor from your fight.

You stepped through Tommy’s doorway, glass crunching under your feet. Every step was painfully slow. You could still see the man’s eyes as his life left him.

Hand shaking, you picked up the phone and dialled the number of the Garrison, praying that someone would answer.

You wanted to vomit.

“Hello?” Harry’s cheery voice answered and you could hear people in the background, laughing and joking. How could they be so happy? Everything was empty.

“Is,” you began, pausing to clear your throat, “is John there?”

“Yeah, who shall I say is calling?”

“His sister.”

“‘ello, y/n!” You nearly collapsed to the floor when John’s voice came through the receiver. He sounded happy. Why was everyone happy? “Are you ever joining us?”

You couldn’t answer. You’re eyes wandered over to the dead body on the floor and you wanted to hide under the table again and never come out. You wanted to die yourself. How did they do this?

“Y/N?” John asked, his voice concerned. “You ok?”

“I killed someone.” It came out a whisper, but John heard.

“Where are you?”

Bless your brother for not asking questions. “The shop.” You sounded like a child. Not a 17 year old.

“Five minutes, ok?” John told you and you vaguely heard people asking questions in the background.

“Ok.”

The phone line disconnected and the phone fell from your hand. For some reason, you made your way back over to the table, sliding under it. You could see the man still. You couldn’t stop staring at him. His blood was on your hands. Maybe the emptiness inside was your punishment.

You kept staring at the man’s eyes, hands clenching the table leg tightly. Five minutes must have passed because the door flew open and you’re brothers marched in, stopping short when they registered the mess.

You still didn’t blink.

Someone crouched down in front of you, blocking your view of the man. You forced yourself to blink and focus on the person in front. Everything seemed to speed up again and voices hit your ears.

“Y/N?” John said again and you blinked, turning your eyes to your brother. Someone who was alive. But who you could kill like you killed that man.

“Hey, y/n/n,” John said, gently grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. “Why don’t we come out from here and get you cleaned up?”

You nodded but made no effort to move. John looked over at Tommy sadly as Arthur and Finn covered the body of the man you’d killed.

“Carry her upstairs and get her clean,” Tommy said quietly. “Don’t leave her.”

John nodded, bending down and gently lifting you into his arms. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his chest. You could hear his heart beating and suddenly realised how quickly it could all go.

John set you down on the toilet seat lid, tucking your hair behind your ear. Someone was running a bath, somewhere. Everything was a dream. Nothing was real.

Aeeing that you weren’t with it at all, John lifted you into the warm bath with your clothes on, knowing you’d hate him if he undressed you. He’d leave that for Polly and Ada when they arrived.

You’d said nothing the entire time he’d carried you upstairs and filled the tub. You were silent as he gently wiped the blood off your face and neck, taking each hand and washing it carefully.

“I killed someone.”

Your voice broke the silence and your brother paused and looked at you. You were looking at him with tears in your eyes. His heart broke at your face. You were his little sister. He was meant to protect you, look after you. He was meant to stop this from happening.

Yet it happened anyway.

“I killed someone, John.”

“You killed someone, y/n,” John confirmed, squeezing your hand. “Someone who would’ve killed you. You saved yourself.”

“I still killed him. His blood is still on my hands,” you said softly, shaking.

“And it always will be. It never goes,” John said, moving so that he was closer to you. “I wish you’d never had to do that.”

“How do you do it?” You asked. “How can you go around killing. How do you still feel?”

“Every person I kill, would’ve killed me or you. I still feel because I’ve learnt how to. I hate killing, but it’s necessary. The war exposed me to a lot and taught me a lot, that’s how.” John sighed. “It never gets easier.”

You fell silent again and John gently lifted you out the tub, wrapping you in a blanket and carried you into your bedroom.

Polly and Ada walked in, John hovering outside the door, just in case, as they helped you out of the blood stained dress and into something else. You didn’t say a word to either of them.

It wasn’t until you were seated on the sofa in front of the fire, a blanket around your shoulders that you actually snapped out of your trance.

Tommy sat on your left, a hand in yours as he smoked his cigarette, quietly chatting to Polly. John sat on your right and you’d unintentionally curled up against him, resting your head on his chest. Arthur, Ada and Finn sat next to each other on the other sofa. Arthur had an arm around Ada, gently rubbing up and down as she leant against him. Finn had dozed off in Ada’s lap and she was running a hand through his hair.

“He tried to rape me,” you said quietly and the entire room froze. “That’s when I shot him. It was the first thing I found. I just fired. I didn’t mean to kill him.” You swallower, feeling the tears burning your eyes. “He broke into the shop as I was about to leave, waving his gun about and yelling. Said he was going to rape me and then kill me. I tried to run which is when he threw my against the window and the table.

“He pinned me on the ground and went to...that’s when I found the gun and fired. I watched him die. I killed him. And I know it was self defence...but I still killed someone. I still took a life that wasn’t mine to take.”

“Some men are just bad,” Arthur said quietly.

“Not all men,” you replied, looking up at him. “He just happened to be bad.”

John had pulled you tighter against him as you’d spoken and now kissed your forehead gently.

“It won’t get any easier.” Polly’s voice was gentle and you moved your eyes over to her. “It never does. It’ll be one of those things that haunt you.”

“I know,” you replied, thinking about Tommy’s nightmares, Arthur’s suicide attempt, John’s mood swings. “I know.”

“But, you’ve got us to help you,” Tommy said, squeezing your hand. “We’ll always be here.”

“Always,” Ada added and you smiled over at your sister.

“Shelby’s have each other’s backs, no matter when or why,” John said softly and you relaxed against him.

You were still scared. You were still thinking about his dead eyes. You knew it was going to be a long time before you felt ok again. But, at least your family would be by your side every step of the way.

[scurvgirl]

*throws at @justanartsysideblog*

Probably fits best with Muppet AU but it can honestly be any AU where Mel and Kass have All The Babies.

**

Asaaranda always had the dreams. They were nightmares when she was little and unable to protect herself from the dark visages of the Fade. Nanae figured it out quickly, though, and they helped her. She has lots of nice dream memories of them showing her the Fade, their dark form a comforting pillar that kept all the actually scary things away from her. 

As far as discovering if one is a mage, Asaaranda was discovered early. At two, she was waking up screaming from the terrors. Nanae would whisk her into their and Mama’s bed and curl around her. She remembers a shadow sliding over her like a blanket and being eased back into a much more peaceful sleep. 

At seven, Asaaranda has learned how to keep her dreams nice almost all of the time, and when they’re bad, she can usually fix it. She knows she is very lucky to be able to do this and to have a nanae and older siblings who are so good at helping. Well, sometimes. Aelynthi and Selene are in college now and can’t help her as much as before, but they did when she little! And Ash helps with what she knows, but her magic is so different that she doesn’t get it a lot of the time. Nanae gets it, though. They know tricks and things and it makes Anda feel safe. 

Nanae has said that out of all their kids, her magic looks the most like their own. It makes sense, Anda thinks. Nanae adopted Selene and Ash and Aelynthi has two other parents. It makes Anda feel special to be like her nanae. Not that her siblings aren’t also special! Ash and Selene have the prettiest fires and Aelynthi is very good with his Super Secret Magic. But Anda is like Nanae, and she likes that. 

When Nanae said her magic was the most like theirs, she beamed. Later, she got to thinking - could she do things like Nanae? Making lightning at her fingers turned out not to be hard, but she thinks Aelynthi can do that too. She wants to do something only she and Nanae can do. The only thing she can think of is shape-shifting. 

Anda saw Nanae do it once. Normally they come out of their room looking a little different, but she saw them do it once. She was playing dress-up and Nanae has the best jewelry. They have a box full of stuff they said she can use if she’s careful and Anda is always careful. She was in their closet, going through the box when they came in, talking to Mama about...something. She looked up and saw them take off their shirt. They had a bra on like Mama wears, and Ash and Selene. They undid the bra and then they began to change. There was a ripple of magic around them and their chest changed until they almost looked like Aelynthi. 

Then their ear twitched and they turned to see her covered in their jewelry.

“Playing dress up again, da’len?” They asked and she nodded, still staring at them. 

“Does that hurt?” She blurted and they shook their head.

“No, because I know how to do it correctly.”

“Oh.” 

That image stayed with Anda for the last few weeks. She doesn’t know many mages who can do that. She thinks one of Aelynthi and Selene’s friends can do that, but she doesn’t know for sure. Maybe some people are just born with pointy teeth.

She thinks about their Nanae shifting a lot. They said it doesn’t hurt and she knows they do it a lot. Or it seems like a lot. She thinks about her nanae shifting and how her magic is the most like theirs.

Finally, Anda plucks up the courage and locks herself in the bathroom she’s supposed to share with Ash. She climbs up on the counter and stares at herself in the mirror. She needs to pick something to change, something small. So she stares long and hard at herself, picking at herself, trying to think of what will be best to change.

One of her teachers once told her she looks like a doll with her big eyes. Anda doesn’t think she looks like a doll, she’s never seen a doll with horns. Sometimes she sees a doll with elfy ears, but her ears are smaller than her nanae’s and Aelynthi and Selene’s. They’re bigger than Ash’s and Mama’s, though. She’s all in-between, she thinks. 

Mama is always saying Anda is so beautiful and pretty. Nanae says it too, but not as much. They say she’s smart and clever and observant. Anda likes to think she’s all of it. She’s elfy and Qunari and smart and pretty and clever and beautiful. 

She doesn’t want to change her ears. She likes them, and she thinks it’s a bad idea to try and change her horns. Nanae goes to the salon to get their hair done, so she doesn’t think she can change her hair. She thinks about her nose but remembers that awful game when she was little where  adults liked to pretend they stole her nose. She...always believed them and screamed. So no nose. The mouth won’t work either because what if it goes away and she can’t eat? She needs to eat! Mama is making cookies tonight and she wants them. 

Anda stares and stares and ah-ha! Eye color. It’s perfect, it’s small and if it won’t go back, she doesn’t think it will be that bad. 

She takes a deep breath and leans forward, focusing completely on her eyes. Mama told her that they named her Asaaranda, which means thunderstorm, because of her eyes. She said they  reminded Mama and Nanae of a thunderstorm at sea, with the grays and blues and greens all together. They’re nice eyes, if big. She blinks slowly and thinks about her stormy eyes becoming darker, earthier. She imagines them turning brown like her friend’s. She can see it in her mind, the gray-blue-green giving way to brown. Almost like her pupil expanding so that it overtakes her iris.

After she has the picture in her head, Anda brings up her magic. It’s not difficult, her magic is never far away. It feels thick and strong, like syrup. It moves inside her and she feels it tickle her eyes.

She blinks slow and she pauses with her eyes closed and counts to ten, picturing her eyes being brown when she opens them. There is a tingling sensation behind her eyes and when she reaches ten, she cautiously opens her eyes. 

Anda screams. It worked! It more than worked, her eyes are now black! As in the entire eyeball! Black! She looks like a demon!

She scrambles away from the mirror and falls off the counter.

“Ah!” She yells as pain shoots through her body as she lands on the tile.

“Asaaranda!” She hears her Nanae yell and then the door is yanked open, the doorknob cracking as it swings into the hallway. 

“Nana-a-a-aee!” Anda sobs on the tile.

“Baby what hap - your eyes,” they exclaim, getting on the floor with her and pulling her to them. 

“I-I-I wa-a-anted, to, be....li-ike you-u-u,” she cries, gasping as she leans into them. “Maake it go away!” 

“Shh, take a deep breath, da’len. It’s okay, shhh,” they whisper, holding her close. “I want you to think about your eyes, your beautiful, green-blue and gray eyes. Do you remember what they look like? Here I have a picture,” they say and somehow pull out their phone and open up the pictures and select one she had taken of herself the other day in one of her outfits. 

“See? That’s you. Look at yourself, look at your eyes. It’s working, da’len, the black is going away, keep looking.”

They keep coaching her, telling her to look at the picture and to think about the specific color of her eyes. Her sobs slow and she feels her magic swirl inside of her again. She squinches her eyes shut and when she opens them, Nanae smiles.

“There, back to normal.” They smooth her hair back and she leans into them. She pushes the selfie button on their phone to look at her eyes to see that they are back to normal. 

“Did you try to change them on purpose?” Nanae asks and she nods. “You wanted to be like me?” She nods again, feeling a little embarrassed. She really messed this up, didn’t she?

But Nanae just sighs and holds her close, “That is very sweet, da’len.” They kiss the top of her head, “And I am very proud of you for figuring out how to change your eyes on your own, but you need to be careful about shifting. It can really hurt you if you’re not careful.” They pet her hair like they do when she’s woken up from a nightmare and slowly she starts to feel herself relax from the scare of her eyes. But now she feels bad about not being smart and doing something so stupid. 

“I’m sorry, Nanae,” she whispers.

“You are a very talented little mage, Asaaranda. I can show you how to safely shift so you you don’t scare yourself or hurt yourself.”

Anda shifts in their lap to look up at them. They’re looking down at her, their silvery eyes all soft and nice. 

“I’d like that,” she says. 

They smile and kiss her forehead, “Good.”

“Did you scare yourself when you tried it the first time?” She asks and they tilt their head slightly like they do when thinking.

“I have scared myself before. Sometimes your own magic can be scary, that’s why you have teachers who can help make it less scary.” 

“Oh.” All calm now, Anda’s mind starts to whirl and questions start to fill her head. She has so many questions now! She wants to ask Nanae about their teachers and what they’ll do first, and how much she’ll have to practice, and -

“Let’s go see if Mama can make the cookies now. Your tummy is about to be very hungry.” They pick her up and start walking down the hall while Anda’s eyes go wide with excitement.

“Cookies!”

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So as of now we will not cancel the NHRA races but we will drug test Friday morning and Sunday morning and before you leave.

It is only like the search warrant on homeless teens -- for your records only.

So you can keep track what is happening in your body.

Were not gonna lecture. We're not gonna look if we can't. We're not gonna kick you out unless we already decided to... Y'all know i been waiting to kick some out.

And it's just for you. Its something you don't know what is going on inside and so it's just the drivers to test that much.

Mechanics are every Friday or Saturday night. And you must test for your educational benefits.

That's all.

Like "does it really fucking matter if I do am 1/8 or a 1/3?" You'll find out.

Then you'll keep a little diary how you feel when you test and your levels.

Excited and .01

Crappy and .01

Could not be related to the cocaine or meth or THC but it could. So it's up to you to judge yourself.

Its only providing tools.

Every one will test initially. For the first 3 weeks. Even John Force who used to do cocaine bad In the 80s and has since quit for 26 years. Since he adopted Brittany. His first child.

So that's how that is. If it's clean that's the only tike we ask to see it. Friday clean test will pass for the weekend.

Then its for 3 weeks. But only one test per weekend.

So no testing this upcoming weekend. Do NOT give yourself a fucking heart attack because you're all free dope No one will know! My bitches we will fucking know if you die from a drug overdose.

We really don't want to see your tests, if you need help on the math then certainly ask us and show us your data and tell us your methods. If you wanna brag, gloat, ask for pets or prizes, then show us.

But you never ever have to. But if you really need help ask someone and show them the tools to fine tune your addiction use the tools that we are giving to you.

We don't want to use them and we don't want to give them to a medical examiner and say we know they were on this much self medication.

We will have drug counselors at the track for the public and for private chats in your private chambers. You don't have to talk to them. But we want them available for you. And for the public.

And we will see if y'all are interested in private NA, Narcotic Anonymous meetings at the tracks with each other like Thursday or Monday. Those aee usually ran by a counselor just to keep things moving but its a free discussion that goes around the room

I've been to rehab and ive been to NA. So I never talked at NA but I felt better to be around people that handled their lives despite their addictions. It helped me. I was only 19 years old.. Well.. Legit 15 years old... So to see older people my age struggle and say they been om drugs forever and just trying now. It made me feel better to be young and trying. And made it feel right. And she would say "there's no right age to stop. You can stop any day" So it was very encouraging. I rarely talked at rehab either. I just listened. Alan got kicked out. But i didn't. I was 19. I had to go to NA as part of rehab.

My best friend she went to rehab, too. So its kinda normal I guess. I don't feel bad. It really helped.

So. I think hearing others stories helps.

I used to go into a Yahoo chat group and Every one smoked weed. I didn't. But i felt fine. It helped me to be in a social,setting where everyone smoked weed but me. And i didn't want to smoke weed. Sometimes i did but how could i smoke in a virtual chat room? Impossible.

Yet i was around people who talked about it and did it. So it was normal and i didn't feel like i missed out on any part of life.

Of course one guy was a,rapist and another guys son became a serial killer... So... Great.

No wonder i didn't wanna smoke weed with them.

But after that i could go be around pot and smell it and all that see it and I didn't crave it or want it or feel i was missing something.

I got over thwt already in a safe place.

I'm a genius... Held in captivity...

So.. Tricks for you.

[henderson70casey-blog]

BMR Calculator, basal Metabolic Rate Calculator

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