#YOU KNOW I’M SCREAMING RIGHT
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THE WICKED POWERS TITLES
The Last King of Faerie
The Last Prince of Hell
The Last Shadowhunter
#YOU KNOW I’M SCREAMING RIGHT#the wicked powers#the dark artifices#the shadowhunter chronicles#kit Herondale#ty blackthorn#dru blackthorn#ash morgenstern#the last king of faerie#the last prince of hell#the last shadowhunter
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A lot of people think my autism is “getting better” but I think a lot of it has to do with being an adult and being able to make my own decisions. I used to have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns and on the outside seemed more “obviously” autistic. But I’m 19 now, so I have a lot more say in my life. I only buy one brand of socks. I only own 2 types of shoes. All of my clothes are the exact same. I only eat what *I* want to eat and think feels safe. I can drive and can choose when to leave for appointments and obligations. If I were still a child and forced to wear socks with seams in the toes or clothes that fit me wrong or foods that trigger my sensory issues or have my routine thrown off by other people, I would have A LOT more issues. But since I’m an adult, I have control over most aspects of my life. I’m not “less autistic” now, I just have more free will and know myself well enough to avoid triggers.
#autism is a neurodevelopmental condition#you’re born with it#it can’t ‘get better’#BUT!!!!!!#and this is a huge but#you CAN learn ways to deal with it better!!!!#you can learn how to cope#and how to work with autism instead of fighting it#let me tell you. if someone forced me to eat peas right now….. I would scream and cry and throw up from a sensory issues meltdown#but I’m an adult so I just. don’t buy or use peas.#and my mom knows me well enough that if she makes a dinner with peas#she just pulls a portion out for me before adding the peas#actually autistic#actually autism#autism#autistic#neurodivergent
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“Nya and Jay both never say a word to the other ninja about Skybound” are you telling me Nya doesn’t TELL KAI THAT SHE DIED. ARE YOU TELLING ME NYA DOESN’T SEEK OUT HER BIG BROTHER AFTER A NIGHTMARE OR MENTAL BREAKDOWN OR IF HER CHEST IS A LITTLE TOO TIGHT THAT DAY. ARE YOU TELLING ME KAI CAN LOOK AT THE PERSON HE CARES ABOUT MORE THAN ANYONE IN THE WORLD AND NOT INSTANTLY KNOW SOMETHING IS DEEPLY, HORRIBLY WRONG??
THESE TWO RAISED EACH OTHER. NYA WOULD NOT KEEP THIS FROM HIM I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF BELIEVING THAT
#‘alright grandma let’s get you to bed’ I’M RIGHT AND Y’ALL KNOW IT#look out Han’s Skybound posting again#I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ALL THE TIME#BBNB UPDATING ISNT HELPING IM KINDA IN AGONY ABOUT KAI RN#I’m losing my mind y’all KAI SHOULD KNOW. KAI SHOULD KNOW THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIS SISTER#sniffles they just mean so MUCH to me dude#kai#Nya#kai jiang#Kai smith#Nya Jiang#Nya smith#Skybound#ninjago#spinjitsu screams
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youtube
#It's actually impossible for me to express the emotions I experience hearing this song#it came out when I was 19 right around the time my dad died and it was just like a primal scream into the void of a song which i needed#gang of youths exploded onto the local music scene where i was living and there was this cult buzz around them and their live gigs#and then they blew up and became one of the most iconic bands of the 2010s for me and a lot of other australians my age#i saw them 3 times - at an outdoor festival a large indoor gig and once in this tiny venue with about 50 people#actually make that 4 times cause there were two separate big indoor gigs#they were incredible every time#i know some people know them because achilles come down went viral on instagram or some shit but you don't know them like i know them#lmfaooooo jokes jokes#I’m glad Achilles come down got the attention it did but I wish people would dig into the rest of their discography#gang of youths#music
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“On the night of my death,
your despair was so loud
that I could hear it
clawing through the earth to find me.
All the men screaming, begging,
still could not drown out the
wailing of your hands.”
—Caitlyn Siehl
#so here’s the thing about satosugu and lawlight#and also specifically this poem#which is called Patroclus to Achilles if you’d like to read the whole thing#and it’s vice versa companion piece#i don’t know which one i like more#i think that lawlight might seem like an outlier#compared to the transparency of satosugu’s mirroring to Patroclus and Achilles#but if you go just a little deeper and take one more bong rip you’ll see that Geto and L’s deaths are complete foils but also prfct mirrors#Gojo [assumedly] with his bare hands#and Light with his right hand man - REM in this case#‘the wailing of your hands’ bit sends me into a FRENZY#it is not that Light screamed#or even vocalized his despair#but i like to think that his hands betrayed his snide smug smile#and that they were wailing#clutching his body in complete utter denial#truly Achilles Gojo Light you don’t know what you have until its gone#I’m not being very eloquent here#when i reread these it isn’t giving what i want it to#but maybe that’s why i write stories and doodle instead and I’m not an essayist!!!#i cant tell u like ‘what it is’ only ‘what its like’ and then use fifty thousand metaphors to be like ow pain#love IS the most twisted curse of all fuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i had veryyyyyyy sappy intercourse last night and I’ll be fucking damned if i don’t appreciate what i got before it’s gone#bazpangoart#jjk x dn#dn x jjk#death note x jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x death note#satoru gojo x light yagami#gojo x light
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Also I just had a Thought about ElQuackity’s second death.
We know that cc!Bad really wanted q!Bad to lose a life in the explosion, and therefore to some extent q!Bad also wanted to die but…
But Bad wasn’t holding a totem like ElQuackity was and well, a totem presumably repairs any lethal damage done to its user’s body - just enough to keep them living and nothing more - so ElQuackity must’ve still been heavily injured and near deaf from being blown sky high even after popping a totem.
But Bad wasn’t holding a totem, and he also got caught in the middle of the explosion alongside ElQuackity - the difference is that none of the wounds Bad sustained healed at all. Bad survived the initial explosion on 2 hearts (which is insane) and then was attacked by ElQuackity who brought him down to half a heart - HALF A HEART - before Max finished him off. One more hit and Bad would’ve gone down, and I don’t think ElQuackity would’ve given him the chance to get back up.
Except as ElQuackity was slowly but surely killing him, Bad barely fought back. He swings his sword half-heartedly a couple times, but out of those attempts he misses quite a few.
My Thought? Maybe it wasn’t just that q!Bad wanted to sacrifice himself and that’s why he didn’t fight back as q!ElQuackity ignored q!Max in favor of trying to kill him - maybe it was because he physically couldn’t defend himself. Maybe he was too injured, maybe there was blood in his eyes and he couldn’t see. Maybe he couldn’t hear past the ringing of his ears and couldn’t think past the spinning of his head. Maybe it was all he could do to stumble backwards away from q!ElQuackity (which he does if you watch his POV - he stands there stunned in the aftermath and then turns just in time to see q!ElQuackity slam into him).
Maybe it was all he could do to just blindly call out to q!Max for help and hope he heard it.
#my headcanon is that q!Bad was okay with dying in the explosion because that’s a pretty fast and flashy death#but he wasn’t okay with being slowly beaten to death by ElQuackity in a giant crator after the fact#which is why he tries to backpedal away as elquackity is attacking him#and that’s why he screams at max ‘kill him you need to finish him’#it’s not a ‘do it max hes weak nows your chance’#it’s a ‘you need to get him off me right now because I’m about to collapse and if he’s still alive when I do he’ll murder me in seconds’#this is all just headcanon by the way i know that q!bbh did kinda intend on dying and that definitely played a factor#qsmp#qsmp analysis#q!badboyhalo#q!elquackity#qsmp elquackity#qsmp badboyhalo
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and if i said that i’m on lip’s side in season 4?
#the answer is i’d be right#i don’t condone the whole screaming in fiona’s face shit#but he wasn’t wrong… fiona was refusing to take accountability or responsibility for her literal kids#and then lip calls her out and he’s the bad guy#like ‘i’m not guilty’ ‘it’s never about me’ like- no- liam literally almost died in your care… you’re guilty#fiona also wasn’t the only parentified one- lip was as well#i don’t blame him at all for his reaction and i honestly think he was being incredibly generous#because if i were in his position i wouldn’t want her around liam and i know that’s controversial but you can’t blame him for it#he’s protective as he should be because there isn’t really many people protecting the gallagher kids#actions have consequences and there’s no point in being angry about the fact that fiona needed to face consequences#it would be an injustice to liam if she wasn’t arrested and charged and i stand by that#shameless#fiona gallagher#lip gallagher#liam gallagher shameless#4x05#4x06#4x07
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i actually feel so incredibly uncomfortable and isolated in this space right now and i know that’s silly because of how many people there are just like me who share the same feelings but idk…the fact that people even think this is defensible behavior is making me feel sick
#nothing quite like being reminded how disposable you are#during the pandemic that set the stage for everyone to show exactly how much they don’t care about disabled people#i’m tired of people not taking this shit seriously and i’m incredibly angry about it#because i know y’all who are reckless and ignorant and think you’re invincible are going to be the same ones begging to be let in#when they ultimately become disabled too.#and you know what? i’m not ready to give those people grace yet#been screaming it for years but nobody listens until it’s too late#have already had people with obvious long covid who spouted ableist rhetoric this entire pandemic#come to me asking for advice#and honestly? i don’t think you deserve advice#i have so much empathy but i’m TIRED#i don’t fucking care anymore i get that we’ve been lied to this entire time but if you actually wanted to do the research you would#and since i know nobody cares about protecting others#i think you would at least care about protecting yourself considering how selfish you’ve proven yourselves to be#this is at the entire world and everyone who refuses to wake up to the fact that we are screwed#disabled people have been telling you this entire time and it’s still a fuckimg joke#and it will only become serious when it affects them directly#i’m so angry right now#and honestly? if you feel like this is about you at all? in any way? that’s your sign#do fucking better. TEST WHEN YOURE SIXK#stop fucking going out when you’re sick unless it’s necessary#i’m so so tired
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history 101 💛
This was originally just supposed to be me having fun exploring what Ephemer would be like as a teacher but it got a bit out of hand in a good way (but I think I spent way too long on this lol)
Notes:
I wholeheartedly believe that teaching is Eph’s true passion. While writing Overmorrow, I came to realize that his role as a teacher/master is necessary in ensuring that light and the will of the keyblade lives on, but it’s also something he would just genuinely enjoy doing on a personal level. Aside from being able to infodump to his heart’s content (that’s a big deal! 😄), he can also help, inspire, and lead as a teacher! I think if he does actually establish the Keyblade order/academy in canon, it would be his pride and joy
Eph’s actual classroom may not have looked like kh3/dr’s, but I like to believe it was probably similarly designed. (He learned a lot about teaching from Hestia 🥰)
Lyra first appeared here :) the rest of the students are new, I made them up on the spot
my ass could not have handled making Overmorrow as a webcomic
#khux#khml#ephemer#overmorrow tfs#but can also be canon!#my art#my posts#timeless child#lyra oc#ok ok secret tags:#I sound very normal about it in the body of the post but I screamed when I realized eph would /adore/ being a teacher#idk what it was; maybe I was just generally emo at the time but#like obviously you know he would have students and all as a master but. it’s different when you’ve lost everything and don’t know what to d#in order to move forward from there#teaching just feels /so right/ for him#the kid who questioned everything; who reached the truth; who was chosen to lead and survive and succeed#the kid who helped and cared for everyone around him#that’s teacher material! he’s a teacher!!!!#and honestly after he spent so much of khux doubting himself the fact that he can do /this/ with his whole heart makes me a bit teary eyed#ok I’m done that’s my blorbo dump for the day thank yooouu
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agh agh okay … i know I’m supposed to be on a break (and I have been! And enjoying it at that) but this little moment !!!!! I needed somewhere to scream about it quick because !!!!!!!!!! Do !!!! You see!!!!!! Dorothy’s face !!!!!!!!!!!
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN.#she just. like melted? *completely melted*???? oh boy.#I’ve never seen her react that way with one of her dates. correct me if im wrong obvs. but that was quite the Look she and Blanche shared#:’) I’ve never seen Dorothy look so genuinely soft before. her face *really* softened & how many times do we get to see that ??!!!!#I’d argue exactly once and it’s this moment right here /hj#& the way Blanche looks at her … that quick up & down taking in her smile I just !!!!!!!!!! WOW !!!!#like okay Wow. that was incredibly intimate. i know what you both are. holy#be still my heart#i was actually kicking my feet and screaming a little#okay i feel better now that I’ve yelled. but know that I wasn’t over this moment the first time i saw it & i still am not now#i really cant get over Dorothy there. like that is such a specific expression I’ve never seen from her before?#blanches hand lingering there … she did not need to pat her cheek in the first place and then she proceeded to hold her face like that???#911 yes hello I am actually about to faint#Dorothy getting all fidgety !!!!! her hands !!!!! she almost seemed a little nervous LIKE#HELLO !!!!!#okay okay I’m done for real#hoping to draw something i love enough to post soon 🫶🏻#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#dorothy zbornak
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#it’s 6am… I haven’t slept more than two hrs… I feel destraught and destroyed… I feel sad and scared and I feel like what’s the point?#I am amazed by the level of hatred and ignorance in this fucking country… because honestly it does still amazes me.#I know it shouldn’t… rationally what happened shouldn’t be shocking… I’m still left with a hole in my chest#I feel numb. but I feel like I want to cry and scream and I am so angry right now!!!#I am so fucking angry. it’s 6:09am… I need to get ready for work and I don’t think I’m ready to face the world#I don’t think I’m ready to go outside and have to witness the devastation of last night’s result#it’s 6:11am… you guys… I… don’t know what to do…
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It still blows my mind that Onew - ONEW!!! LEE, JINKI!!! - is the SHINee member with not one, not two, but THREE Waterbomb appearances this summer!!! 🤯🐰
#shinee#onew#lee jinki#dubu leader#waterbomb#he does know what waterbomb is all about right???#watch his ass show up wearing a yellow raincoat and matching rainboots#with a cute little rain hat and umbrella to match#a wet jinki i’m SCREAMING!!!#come on kibum get on board#can you imagine how EPIC it would be if all four did waterbomb performances#shinee officially claiming summer as theirs#they did release the ultimate summer bop after it#it seems fitting#jonghyun#key#minho#taemin#ot5#5hinee
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Can’t a bitch have a mental health day without someone immediately trying to make it theirs instead!
#the shitty thing about suddenly having all of these followers that interact with me now#is that I used to use this blog to scream into the void#like a little diary or something#but now I have an audience and it’s weird#anyway THATS WEIRD HUH GUYS#I’m like#hey idk im feeling really upset by these things going on in my life right now and I think I need some time#and THEYRE like#oh no yeah for sure#anyway suddenly I am also so sad and I cried myself to sleep and I really need your support right now#WHAT LOL#whatever whatever whatever#I guess I get to continue playing mom to my friend group#personal#I know I always play support#for you guys#and I know I’m always the DM#and I always listen to your problems and help fix them#and I’m always making you presents and packages and whatnot#but please#sometimes#just sometimes#I want to be able to be taken care of too
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The Three Caballeros say polyamory deserves more rep and acceptance
#its 6am and I’m making this#the three caballeros#three gay cabarellos#stamps#da stamps#polyamarous#maybe this is kinda a vent post because my family be saying so much misinformation regarding poly relationships and I’m like DUDE IM RIGHT#HERE#YOU KNOW IM POLY#screaming#anywau the sillies
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So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:
youtube
He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.
Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….
spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]
@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit
#The fucking banana. I was talking to him through the screen like#“…a banana??? You keep bananas in…. there? You good man? A—are you okay?#What the hell are y—” [cracks up but quickly stops laughing] “Oh— oh honey… you’re not right are you?#No you’re not right. Uh…. Why don’t you sit down; your breathing sounds awful. You sound like you’re gonna die…#OH GOD [loses my shit laughing/cringing ] “Oh— oh ouch. No no no— I’m not laughing at you I just— I like your actor…#a lot… too much probably#and he’s just good at what he does and the timing of it all… this is exactly how I act when I’m home alone#I swear I’m not laughing at you… I just— PUT THAT BANANA BACK YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF”#John Hurt#stage acting#Krapp’s Last Tape (2001)#Samuel Beckett#Yeah… funky stage play. Very moving and dreamlike#[This is me gently holding Mr. Krapp and rotating him in my mind like a bowl of ramen in a microwave]#Screaming crying throwing up beating the walls#I am unwell#Ough ough ough#It’s not difficult for me to watch per se#but I’m very much the kind of person who HAS to help when someone’s having a hard time doing something#— especially if they’re old or otherwise infirm — or I’ll feel like a piece of shit for weeks… and this fucking man#this fucking man is so good at being frail and pitiful that I feel genuinely agitated that I can’t reach into the screen and help him#It’s like the torture scene in 1984 all over again where he just barely manages to wrench himself upright on the table#then immediately falls off onto the concrete floor with the most tragic sickening bone-grinding splat you’ve ever heard#AND HAS TO HOIST HIMSELF UP ONTO HIS FEET ALL BY HIMSELF WHEN HE’S MALNOURISHED AND EXHAUSTED#Like ughhhhhh let me pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and carry him somewhere warm and safe and make him an omelette#And I know I write whump and I shouldn’t be this sensitive#but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MR. HURT YOU ARE KILLING ME#Youtube
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Watching Stampede with my family made me realize how genuinely insane I have turned thanks to it
Like wow the actual physical EFFORT it took me to not randomly start explaining the composition of a scene, the color choice, the framing, the voice directing and the choreographies of certain scenes, as well as some of the lore behind it I should not explain because spoilers.
No, sorry. I lied on my résumé . I can’t like anything a normal amount. I’ve liked this for less than 4 months and I’m very deep into the trenches. And it will unfortunately become everyone else’s problem as well, because this one will stick around for a long time.
#being a lil mentally ill again guys#that’s right. finally managed to make the third rewatch with my binge watcher family in one night#I call it having fun at the expense of my mental integrity#to be fair Trigun is *gestures the air* right there for me to delve into deep analysis for no real reason#other than I’m obsessed with media that explores morally and ethically challenging topics#and the cool ass designs and badass weapons and super great characters#and I mean Trigun is just made to be loved tbh head full or head empty is so enjoyable either way and I think that’s a great charm it has#though at one point itll force you to THINK and I LOVE THAT#I want to scream with someone about Trigun and I do with my friends but it’s not the same when they haven’t watched it yet#and since I’m that.one.friend that looks to much into it because HAHA STORY CREATOR BUT#yeah. I want to talk about Trigun so bad…it’s…it’s a little embarrassing. but I obviously don’t fucking care the enough#because if I did that one person I didn’t know wouldn’t have said the ‘ah the Trigun girl’#somehow I became a synonymous to it. and I couldn’t be prouder.#trigun#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#lenssi rambles#trigun maximum#in my defense. I have adhd. which doesn’t really make up for much but at least it explains some extent of it
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