#YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO BE THAT FUNNY WHAT THE FUCK SIR

[ladyisabelsblade]

My Live Reactions to X-Men Origins: Wolverine

A text thread between me and my friend.

---

Just watched the opening sequence and it’s so fucking funny when you’re high

Dude that guy with the two guns, his sequence kind of slapped

And then the other guy punched a tank. Yo….

This Deadpool looks like an idiot with the swords but he’s still pretty funny lol

Why does he know Swahili?????

Oh no! They’re colonizers!!???

But not Wolverine, he cares about black people, that’s how you can tell he’s the good guy

Little brother, breaking cycles of abuse

JIMMY

--wolverine says racism is wrong! --have u seen his cartoon claws yet?

They didn’t look that bad but I am high so I don’t care

The action sequences aren’t half as bad as in last stand

Or at least I’m too high to notice if they are lol

WOAH SGIRT OFF

--u see a lot of hugh jackman nipples

Lumberjack Wolverine, wow

Just wow he’s wow

"Your country needs you” “I’m Canadian”

Aw, I like this girl. She’s so gonna die

What the fuck is this stupid story?

Even Logan thinks it’s stupid.

Most clumsily overt foreshadowing ever

Oop, yep she dying

--lmao --yea she lasts under 10 mins thats hilarious

Damn fucking eviscerated

Manly man scream

He ruthless

LMFAOOOO AND THEN HE GETS HIT BY A TRUCK

--relatable tbh

He’s so oiled up

Damn the dramatic irony is dramatic irony-ing

The Adamantium looks like the aftermath of a lush bath bomb

--ooooh ur not at the cartoon claws yet --he’s still all boney

Yee

LMAOOOO THEY LOOK PLASTIC

HIS ASS OUT

--ASS ASS ASS

Cover up your tits you preening slut precursor

They look so stupid just do practical effects you idiots

YES THE JACKET

WHAAAAATTTT HOW COULD YOU KILL THAT OLD LADY WTF

I should have seen that coming

EXPLOSIONS SLAY QUEEN

--who exploded things?

Everyone but Logan exploding the helicopter was slay queen

--lol this movie is such a blur for me, i love reexperiencing in real time

Oh this is the bad part

Fucking blob omg

--ah yes --and will i am

I like will I am he ain’t bad

And boxer Logan, boxer Logan is saving this scene for me

--idr him good or bad, i just remember he's will i am

He is

I laughed so hard when his name came up during the opening credits

--its a great jumpscare

Local man discovers his girlfriend was fridged for his character development

REMY LA BOU

OH NO HES HOT

--is this the first time uv seen gambit in something? like have u seen him in the cartoons or stuff?

and poker? This is like combining every old lady white woman’s wet dream together: lumberjack, boxer, poker player

No I’ve never seen the cartoons man

--by far the most loved x-man

GRABBED HIM BY THE SPINE WHAT THE DUCK

gambit slays here dude

Will I am dead

--u have the best one liners omg

I’m over an hour in and I’m really enjoying this movie, being high is really elevating my experience

--its probably greaat high ngl

It’s just like fun moment after fun moment, I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense

--its my dad's favorite hated movie --its so fun

He’s right, I can’t believe you told me this was worse than last stand

--idr last stand at all ngl

Oh, well it was really bad

My man is more okay with jumping out of a plane than flying in one

SCOTT

YOUR EYES SCOTT

sir this is an operating room you can’t be here

Damn, this is freaky, I thought Stryker was a creep in x2

KAYLAS BACK

WHAT THE FUCK

oh it’s mystique isn’t it

NO ITS NOT WHAT THE FUCK

Damn that’s cold

No, poor baby he’s so sad

They were together for 6 years damn

Yo this is so dope

This fight

--have u gotten to deadpool

Kayla, now is not the time

Not yet

--thats THE thing

I know

But here he comes

HE LOOKS SO STUPID

XAVIER MY MAN

Yo the black around the eyes thing kind of slayed tho

Damn fucking sliced his head off

Oh shit damn

Do they look out for eachother because you kind of suck ass victor

YESSSSS GAMBIT

Kayla come on don’t die

Again

HOLY SHIT STRYJER

AYO WHAT THE FUCK

girl this movies good I don’t know what you’re talking about

That was so slay Kayla

But you’re still probably dying

PROFESSOR

I LOVE YOU EVEN THIUGH YOURE BADLY CGIED

LNAO THE MUTANTS RUNNING AWAY

he don’t even remember her that’s so fucking sad dude

damn wtf tear my heart out why don’t ya

This movies cheesy but it’s hitting all the right beats

Like this is a pretty good origin story movie

Probably a horrible stand alone movie, but if I pretend like I’m watching a bunch of flashbacks stitched together it’s pretty good

Oooo two post credits scenes

LMAO TEASING A DEADPOOL COMEBAJX BUT HE NEVER DOES

--he kiinda does

In Deadpool 2?

--yea lol

Comes back just to die

--good

lol he wasn’t too bad but I think I’d have a different opinion if he was sober and there weren’t already two other great Deadpool movies

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Never Date Your Celeb Crush (Homelander)

Description: Y/N is obsessed with Homelander....Until she gets him in bed.

Warning: Smutty

Word Count: 656

Request: I can’t find the actual request but it was sent in a while ago and they wanted one where the reader is obsessed with Homelander until they find out he is bad in bed.

Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes. The Homelander was looking at her in such a provocative way. Like he wanted her. Y/N thought she was dreaming at first but realized the entire night she was getting eye fucked by the man of her dreams.

She fantasizes about Homelander. The one and only thing she understood about FireCracker was the Homelander obsession. Though she was jealous of her and would die to be in her position and by the looks of it, She might be.

Homelander had never seen her around before and was nearly drooling at how good she looked. The red dress and the blue heels, was she trying to impress him? He had a big ego but he wasn’t wrong.

She laughed as she talked to one of the other party goers but her eyes kept drifting back to Homelander and he took note of that. It wouldn’t be too much later that he made his way towards her and she felt her heart stop.

He was much bigger and intimidating in person and up close. Homelander looked at her like she was a piece of meat but she didn’t mind one bit. “Hello.” He said and she struggled to keep herself together even though he was the one talking to her and started the conversation.

One thing led to another and she ended up back at his penthouse. He pushed her on the bed a little too hard but she shrugged it off as he got on top of her and started kissing her. The kiss was rough and hard, very sloppy and just not good.

She tried to set the pace but he wouldn't let her and kept doing his thing. She tried to ignore the fact that he was a bad kisser but once his hand drifted off to her pussy that wasn’t as wet as she would be if things were going good, she couldn’t hold back the laugh that had escaped her mouth.

He couldn’t even give her pleasure while rubbing her clit. Homelander pulled away from her neck with a very confused look on his face. Oh that was even more funny. “Homelander, have you ever had sex before?” That was a dumb question but his experience seemed to be leading towards that factor.

“Excuse me?” He was offended now. “Your kisses are too rough and sloppy and you can’t even rub my clit right.” His eyes were wide as she told him these things.

He was perfect in his eyes. He was the being of all and this mortal human with no powers was degrading him like this? “I am a god. I am the almighty. I am the Homelander and you think you get to say those things to me.” He gripped her face which caused her to freak out. “I’m sorry. I’m just not enjoying this.” She whispered.

“You should be grateful that I would even allow myself to you.” He growled. Wow he really was egotistical. “You’re right.” She said but he just rolled his eyes and got off her. She watched him as he paced his room, wondering what was on his mind.

“I’m sorry sir. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He rolled his eyes at her comment. Upset? Homelander wasn’t capable of feeling many things. He would never admit to such things.

“I want you to leave.” He told her and she stared at him in shock. She wasn’t upset like she thought she would be at his request. “Get out.” He yelled at her and she jumped up and got dressed. “Uh sir? I have no idea where I am.” She said and he sighed.

She looked at him as he picked her up and flew her back to the party.Before she could say anything else to him he flew off. She stood there repeating the past hour in her head and decided that there wasn’t anything special about him.

[squishy-lemons]

"So it feels good to be rich, you know, evidence.'

"That and a quarter will buy you a gumball."

MOTHERFUCKER THE WAY I W HEEZED-

[quietwingsinthesky]

of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:

rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)

i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.

donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.

[macadam]

Megop is such a funny ship it is so funny I want to know what was going through any of the writers heads when writing megatron talking to optimus the complete and utter obsession is so insanely visceral how can you write that and not see what you are placing down I just

[radioscientist]

Me: *delusional* Maybe when I watch Marineford this time Ace will be rescued and hang out with Luffy and Whitebeard

[geometricalien]

him, already with a girlfriend that he wants to marry: I wanted to kiss you when I saw you. I wanted to kiss you on the bridge as well.

me, externally: i- eh- what-

me, internally: soooo many red flags how can he just admit this??

[livvyofthelake]

love how there are so precious few women in arthurian legend and this movie declined to use literally any of them. yeah that tracks for this fucking idiot i guess (guy who seriously hates guy ritchie)

[fingertipsmp3]

The way I had to TA a class full of STEM bros on international women’s day 😭

[confused-wanderer]

It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.

The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.

No one fucks with Gothamites.

Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*

Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.

Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE

Or

Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*

Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*

Thief: .. what the actual fuck

Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D

Thief:

Dick: I’m from Gotham

Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones

OR

Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*

Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.

Shooter:

Dick:

Shooter:

Dick: .. Hi :)

Shooter: Are you Satan?

AND

In interrogation room

Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection

Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you

Murderer: .. what

Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-

Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you

Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.

Murderer:

Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.

Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.

But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.

Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.

Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven

Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.

Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?

Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!

Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?

Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.

Red Robin: Wait what did he do?

Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.

Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop

Red Hood: Well even I could do that-

Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.

Red robin *growing concerned*

Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!

Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.

*all nodding in agreement*

Red hood:

Red Robin:

Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick

Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.

*villains’ sobbing intensifies*

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Yes, I don't actually expect you to have the full use of your legs if you casually use my laptop.

There is a short in the power adapter I have so it is going to end up shocking you and making your legs quiver. In this case you can count on me to keep pushing you up to the desk even if you just keep sliding back down.

[educatedsimps]

— how hq men react to "i like you"

they like you back but this is just how i imagine them reacting right after you admit you like them

≪ back to fics masterlist

the NORMAL ones who’d just blush and admit that they like you too (with varying thought processes tho)

↳ suga and yaku on a good day, yamaguchi after a minor panic attack (tbh he doesn't know if it’s a panic attack or if his heart is beating so fast because of you), ennoshita, kenma, aone, kita, ginjima, komori

the ones who would panic immediately. like their brains would short-circuit trying to process what you had just said. like what do you mean, you like them? YOU like THEM??? the first thing out of his mouth is “N-NOW?!” like no shit, sherlock 😐

↳ asahi, tanaka, noya, hinata, lev, kogane, bokuto, tendō but he’s calm first then he’ll be like ‘eh? … EH??’, goshiki

the ones who CANNOT comprehend 1. what you’d just said, and 2. why anyone would like them romantically (the poor boy’s a lil insecure sometimes, okay?) so the first thing he says is “why??” with the most incredulous look on his face (except ushijima)

↳ kageyama (he’s dumbstruck tbh), unhinged kenma, kunimi, ushijima, sakusa

the ones who would ask “are you sick?” WITH ZERO HESITATION like, he’s in denial okay ✋ of course you’d get his protective and caring side out, and he doesn’t even understand what you said. i mean he does…? but again, he doesn’t believe it. yet. and yeah, he’s genuinely worried that you’d said that because you were high or something LOL

↳ daichi, tsukishima but he’s like judging you kinda, akaashi The Overthinker ™️, iwaizumi 100%, matsukawa but he'd probably say it in a joking way while he tries to process the thought of you actually liking him, kindaichi, semi, yamagata, kita

the ones who would freeze and believe it for a second before convincing himself that you’re joking. also follows up with "who paid you to say that?" with all the skepticism in the world. it's not that he doesn’t trust you, he’s just in denial 🤧

↳ suga and yaku on an unhinged day, shirabu, suna (he thinks atsumu’s pulling a cruel prank on him), osamu (also thinks it’s atsumu), aran, hanamaki and iwaizumi (they both think it’s oikawa)

the mfs who go "well, i can't fault you for having exquisite taste" or some egotistical shit like that, ALSO with zero hesitation. like sir puh-lease ✋ knock ur ego down a notch, you’re not all’at (he is, tho)

↳ kuroo, oikawa, futakuchi, MIYA FUCKING ATSUMU

a/n: idk why but in my mind i just group suga and yaku together because they just give me rlly similar vibes (except suga is a lil more cray cray) and yes the two of them def have hinged and unhinged days but anyway i churned this out at 1am so excuse the half assedness of this one, i hope it was somewhat entertaining! i tried to be funny okay 🤧

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[lewisvinga]

awooga | max verstappen x fem! wolff! reader

summary; in which y/n thinks she’s fawning over her boyfriend on her priv, until she realized she just exposed her relationship on her public account

fc; erika hasseur

warnings; suggestive comments, cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3

note; requested ! awooga is so funny

masterlist !

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liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: AWOOOOGA🤤 i wish i can post him on the main all the time looooook at him😩 but i guess i’ll stay on the priv😔😔😔

yourusername: i wanna sit on those thighs tho

yourusername: imma call him, make him my booty call🥴

username: HELPOAKDKSND

username: uhm…..

username: HOLD AWNNNN

username: does toto know??😃😃

yourbestfriend: oh,,,, girl…..

yourusername: i am just a girl thirsty n horny for her bf on her priv😪😪😪

yourbestfriend: that’s the thing… it’s not your priv

username: she doesn’t realize this is her public account IJBOL

username: MAX??? MAX VERSTAPPEN???

maxverstappen1: wrong account, schat, wrong account !

yourusername: oh!

mercedesamgf1: answer the phone, now. - toto

yourusername: oh fuck

this post has been deleted !

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liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, and others !

yourusername: uhm…. anyways! photo dump w my boyf

tagged; maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: pls stop calling me ur boyf on the main im scared ur dad will find me.

mercedesamgf1: count your days, verstappen. - toto

yourusername: who gaf what he thinks ur my sexy boyf AWOOGA🤤🤤

georgerussell63: pls stop saying awooga it hurts

maxverstappen1: ur jealous 😂🫵🫵

username: she’s so chill abt accidentally leaking her relationship 😭

username: shes winning the idgaf war

username: off topic but her fits are always😍

username: how did toto and susie react pls tell🤔

yourusername: well susie was amazing! love herrrrrrr🩷🩷🩷🩷

yourusername: my father on the other hand…… let’s just say if we were on the paddock no headphones would’ve been safe 😆😆

mercedesamgf1: was not happy. - toto

yourusername: pls for the love of God make an instagram account i’d be soooo good at managing it!!!😞😞😞

mercedesamgf1: leave max then. - toto

yourusername: then no🙄🙄🙄

maxverstappen1: i was threatened a lot 😄😄

lewishamilton: well! that’s something !

yourusername: look away, lewis, look away

lewishamilton: i’m afraid your roscoe privileges are revoked

yourusername: NO PLEASE NOT MY ROSCOE😭💔💔 i know max has cats but please 😔

maxverstappen1: guess i’ll have to make y/n a cat person now😁

lewishamilton: anyways! roscoe needs a babysitter this monday!😆

yourusername: I’M IN!!

username: NOO LEWIS AND TOTOS COMMENTS ARE SENDING MEE😭😭😭😭

username: y/n ur so real for saying awooga to max😩

yourusername: have you SEEN those thighs? AWOOOGA

yourusername: i’m afraid i cannot speak on his thighs any further 🥴🥴🥴🥴

georgerussell63: STOPPP

charles_leclerc: please stop we have children here

oscarpiastri: 😨😨😨

maxverstappen1: the lady can say whatever she wants! 🙄🙄

mercedesamgf1: no she cannot. not when it’s about you. - toto

maxverstappen1: you’re so right, sir! sorry about that, mr. wolff!🤗🤗

yourusername: oh nah my dad got mad max scared asf of him

maxverstappen1: his threats are working, schat, help….😰

[verstarppen]

omfg i love your fics they’re so funny 😭😭 i had an idea for a max fic that i think you would do so well 🫶 so like she’s his teammate and she has a bf (no idea who but prob another athlete or something since they tend to kinda be fboys 👀 but not another driver please because those dynamics make me cringe in second hand embarrassment 🙏) then he like cheats on her publicly, but she decides to live in idgafistan and max helps her make her ex jealous 😝 but he’s like actually been into her for a really long time and everyone ships them and stuff and then he bags her with his irresistible chronically offline awkward white boy rizz 💋

summary; cheaters deserve to get cheated out of their career, or at least that's how max justifies destroying your ex's life

pairing; max verstappen x fem! red bull driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]

warnings; suggestive language, swearing

a/n; DISCLAIMER the boyfriend is made up and also a sims 2 reference, if by chance there is a real tennis player by the name of Dominic Lothario im so sorry sir this was not written with you in mind ALSO this is my VERY sneaky way of telling everyone my favorite song is trophäe by paula carolina so naturally i had to shove the word trophy everywhere to justify using lyrics as the title I HOPE I DID YOUR PROMPT JUSTICE also i skipped over singapore because we don't talk about singapore

liked by ynln7, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 2,104,962 others

maxverstappen1 The only time I've cheated.

view all 798,301 comments

feeltheorange WHAT DID HE SAYYYY

meepshoemaker the double take i just did cracked my neck

yukinator22 NAHHHHHHHHH

albogeant BRO DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HER TIME TO RECOVER LMAOOOOOOOO

ynln7 everyone has permission to laugh i came up with the caption

pierregasly Thank god charles_leclerc I'm going to hell I laughed before I saw your comment pierregasly Me too ynln7 assholes (affectionately)

liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 4,592,577 others

ynln7 anyway

view all 909,289 comments

christianhorner This is not the team bonding I was talking about

charles_leclerc Shut up, some of us have waited years for this pierregasly Seconded danielricciardo Third...ed?

simplyclerc LET HIM COOK

lionkingseb max verstapprizz

mcmango he saw an opportunity and he took it

redbullpapaya i manifested this with magic beyond the human comprehension

liked by maxverstappen1, ynln7, christianhorner and 2,102,094 others

redbullracing An immaculate performance today from @ maxvestappen1 and @ ynln7 that’s a 6th Constructors’ Championship for the team!! 🏆 CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD CHAMPIONS!!

view all 869,291 comments

super_max they know they ate

staraikkonen the blueprint for all powercouples

shadownorris LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

angelricciardo talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference

dominic_lothario 👎

redbullracing Shouldn't you be looking for a job? What are you doing in our comments.

kirbyvettel MAXY/N SWEEP

maxverstappen1 The trophy is not my only win this week @ ynln7

ynln7 ok now let me pass you maxverstappen1 No 🧡 You're pretty in p2

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 693,420 others

ynln7 celebrating the win the RIGHT way (playing f1 2023)

view all 108,003 comments

easportsf1 Amen

ynln7 LMAO

maxverstappen1 I let you win

ynln7 bruised ego alert

christianhorner Such a RESPONSIBLE team, aren't we?

orangleclerc THE T-SHIRT

strawberryrosberg Did they turn down the afterparty invite for this because mad respect

charles_leclerc Tell me your record, I'll beat it

ynln7 in your dreams, leclerc maxverstappen1 Beat us in real life first charles_leclerc First of all.

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

[taasgirl]

blame - driver!reader x grid

summary: driver!reader goes to war protecting her teammate and best friend, max verstappen.

a/n: this is NOT a romance smau!!

liked by user76, user98, and 6, 872, 014 others f1 Following a breach of conditions set by the FIA, Max Verstappen will serve a mandatory community service period.

tagged: maxverstappen1

ynusername just say ya'll can't handle him and move on!!!

user27 be careful y/n, they'll send you too user46 HAHA SHE'S SO REAL

user51 this is so stupid

user90 who decided this???

user75 Okay I understand him getting community service for the Ocon incident, but for swearing?

user21 they're treating max like he's a child

liked by oscarpiastri, redbullracing, and 2, 379, 918 others ynusername unbothered, moisturised, and definitely plotting to overthrow the fia!

tagged: maxverstappen1

user59 My dreams 5 minutes before my alarm:

user61 y/n and max are never beating the platonic soulmates allegations

user87 Get yourself a teammate that fights the FIA on your behalf @/estebanocon

maxverstappen1 I was going to say something nice then I saw the last photo.

ynusername pls still compliment me x

oscarpiastri I agree with the caption

landonorris ur too ashy to be moisturised

view ynusername's story...

caption only the FIA could ruin a beautiful flight @/alex_albon

liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, and 1, 256, 280 others ynusername me and bro suiting up to destroy the FIA

tagged: carlossainz55, landonorris

lewishamilton This is why you're my favourite on the grid

ynusername this is why you're the 🐐

oscarpiastri Hey I hope you were joking when you said you'd be turning into a grid terror haha (please be joking)

ynusername don't worry ur safe xx

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS Y/N???

landonorris If me and my gang pull up ahh post

ynusername yup you're now my number one target for unironically using 'ahh'

maxverstappen1 I hope I am bro

ynusername there's no one i'd rather serve community service with

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lewishamilton, and 3, 287, 3389 others ynusername don't worry I won't actually replicate crashgate. however, please know that I have free reign over my radio xx

landonorris Thank god u had me scared for a minute

user49 y/n is taking this too far 😭

ynusername oh i can go further if needed

lewishamilton HAHA this is gold y/n

ynusername when I have the praise of sir lewis hamilton then I know that I'm doing something right

user20 OMG Y/N GOING INSANE ON RADIO IS A NEEEED

user91 y/n is the only reason i'm tuning in this weekend

view ynusername's story...

caption: I have some business to attend to this sunday afternoon

liked by user62, user87, and 209, 557 others f1updates Not shy on the radio so far! Y/N on the formation lap, and she'd already quizzing her engineer.

user83 she's so unserious i love her

user90 This is my sign to strictly watch her onboard today

user41 y/n really is going to put on a show huh

liked by user 34, user75, and 1, 722, 981 others f1updates A few of the unhinged thing's Y/N was saying during today's race. Safe to say that she may be sporting a ban for the next race.

user38 her engineer replying with 'affirm' is so fucking funny to me

user92 And ya'll still wonder why she's my fave driver

user47 THE WAY THIS ISN'T EVEN EVERYTHING SHE SAID

user28 what else did she say??

user47 @/user28 she went on a whole tangent about how stroll is a prick that shouldn't be in f1 😭😭

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 3, 615, 248 others ynusername FIA knew I'd be too powerful for another race (hey at least bestie doesn't have to do community service).

maxverstappen1 You're insane I love you

ynusername dinner is still on you right?

landonorris NOOOOOO RIP Y/N

ynusername bitch i'm still alive

oscarpiastri Welcome back Kevin Magnussen liked by ynusername

redbullracing She might be crazy, but she's our kind of crazy!

ynusername pls keep me employed ya'll

view landonorris's story...

caption Yes, she still has the helmet on

view maxverstappen1's story...

caption Okay time for us to get to work

eeee i hope you guys liked this, please let me know if you did!

[cosmicpearlz]

seeing green

summary: realistically, you have no right being jealous but you couldn't help it. he is yours whether anyone knew it or not.

pairing: jude bellingham x reader

situationships were funny when it came down to being possessive over someone whose not yours officially. you and jude had been secretly seeing each other. calling each other at different times to meet each other's needs. it all started from a drunken kiss.

-the kiss-

"stop looking at me like that bellingham," you said, while slightly smirking at the boy sitting right next to you. you came over to jude's house because it was a stressful day. he suggested a couple drinks to unwind the day. leading you guys here.

"like what?"

"you know what I'm talking about," as you replied, jude slowly grew a grin on his face. he watched you with hooded eyes and licked his lips, taking in the sight of you.

"it's not my fault you're sitting here looking so fucking pretty."

"stop that."

"no. i'm really enjoying my view."

neither one of you realized how you guys shifted closer to each other on the couch. the soft sounds of the tv becoming background noise as you guys stared in each other's eyes.

"can i kiss you?"

"are you drunk?"

"nah, just tipsy. are you drunk love?"

"no sir, i'd say i'm just tipsy too."

"won't that ruin our friendship jude?" his hand inched up your thigh, caressing it. you looked down at his hand connected to your thigh and slightly smiled.

"just one kiss. then we'll be right back to the same y/n and jude that we've always been."

"just one kiss, right? it won't hurt us."

"it won't hurt us," jude echoed you. nose to nose now, jude seals the deal by kissing you.

the kiss starting off slow. his gentle touch paired with his soft lips, sent butterflies through your stomach. jude wraps his arms around your waist to pull you into his lap. once you settled in his lap, his fingers move under your shirt. brushing over the bare skin. you continued to explore each other as the kiss began to heat up. becoming more messy and eager. he licks your bottom lip and you were quick to grant him access. tongues fighting for dominance, causing you to grin into the kiss.

the kiss coming to end, jude lays a couple of pecks to your lips before you both pulled away. you shook your head with a smile and turned away from his gaze.

"that is the first and last time we kiss mr. bellingham," you hold up your pinky, to make a weak pinky promise.

"first and last time. scouts honor," he locks his pinky with yours and matches the grin you have. you giggled, making jude join into the laugher.

-

it wasn't the last time. in fact, you guys had share multiple kisses even without having drinks. which is why you held your drink tightly in your hand, as you watched him talk to another girl. seeing Jude smile and laugh with her, made your chest burn with jealousy.

"you alright mate?" you turn your head to find jobe standing next to you.

"of course, why wouldn't i be?"

"maybe because jude is standing there talking to another girl."

"we're best friends. definitely not together, so he can talk to who he wants."

"y'know i thought green would be your color. just maybe not this shade of green," you gasp and playfully slap the younger boy's shoulder. jobe chuckles and moves back, in hopes of not getting hit again.

"this is why jude's the better bellingham," you stick your tongue out and walk away from jobe with a small smile. jude takes this as a sign to excuse himself and follow you.

"fancy seeing you here."

"did you really follow me all the way outside?"

"well yes. did you really leave because you saw me with another girl?"

"maybe," you sip on your drink and turn your head away from him. jude moves closer to you and wraps his arm around your waist. bringing a hand to your chin, he turns your head to face him again.

"were you really jealous?"

"so what if I am?"

"ooo you wanna kiss me so bad, dontcha?" you laughed, pushing him away.

"shut up."

"c'mere, we're not done," he pulls you into him by your arm. you guys were chest to chest, as you looked up at him. brown eyes staring right back at you.

"i fear i ruined our friendship," you whispered to him, holding the intense eye contact.

"me too."

"what does this mean?"

"that i've been yours since we started hooking up."

"really?"

"yes darling. you literally have nothing to worry about."

"good, because i don't like to share."

"that's really funny because i don't either," jude pulls you into kiss. silently confirming that you guys are taking the steps to be exclusive. he was yours and you were his. although, he's really always been yours.