#YOI was not far from the truth apparently

[blairamok]

tonight’s research (aka me diving into the recesses of twitter and reddit for scraps of information while bored at work) was on the banquets after galas because i had the bright idea of writing one into the fic… gotta put these boys in all the situations. anyway i found this photo of daisuke takahashi getting down in heels and i think this is a fair depiction of what happens at these parties

and of course it made me think of crowley

[quagmiremarch]

The Lies We Tell to Find Our Truth, Part 2/3

[This is for Day 2 of YOI Regency Week ( @yoiregencyweek) -Forbidden Love. And yes, I know it’s Day 4. Life happened. Cross-posted to AO3. ]

Mr. Victor Nikiforov tapped his tight pensively as his carriage wove the long path to Yu-Topia Katsuki, the inn apparently run by the parents of one Mari Katsuki. And also, Victor had discovered in his inquiries about the young lady, of a son, Yuuri Katsuki, a fact that had Victor most confounded, and if he were so bold as to admit such, hopeful.

It had long been at issue that Victor’s station came with a series of obligations, most notably those to marry and produce heirs. Truly, such expectations should not have bore so heavily upon his shoulders as they did, for they were reasonable accommodations to meet.

Were it not for Victor’s disinclination towards those of the feminine sort. He bore no ill-will for women, of course. Many were perfectly delightful company. He simply found himself lacking in any romantic notions in their direction. A truth that would prove most scandalous in society were it to be known, but one he bore no ability to change.

Mari Katsuki. He’d seen the woman looking perplexed at the table and simply sought to aid her in navigating the unfamiliar societal currents. He had known, of course, of her essentially common status, the honorary title granted her family hardly sufficient for her attendance at the ball. The gossip of her invitation had therefore spread like a blaze through the event, marking her something of a curiosity, and lamentably, a target, for the less gentlemanly of nobles.

Finding her to be charmingly shy one moment and delightfully passionate the next as they moved from polite courtesies into topics of conversation familiar and fond, Victor thought, perhaps he had finally stumbled upon a match. Perhaps the exchange of a rise in station paired with a genuine enjoyment in her company might make a marriage, even if it remained chaste one, between them, something other than a chore for both parties.

That as the night lingered Victor found himself appreciating the depth of her eyes, the shape of her smile, proves a much unexpected and confusing surprise. But, not unwelcome. While heirs might be managed without a true sharing of the marriage bed, or so he’d heard whispered among the few other nobles that shared his inclinations, life would be made much enriched should such lengths prove unnecessary.

Victor felt it most prudent to act upon such good fortune and ask to call upon the young Miss Katsuki, but even as he’d attempted to gain permission to do so, the young Lord Chulanont had intruded. That he did so while addressing a ‘Yuuri’ had not, in fact, slipped Victor’s notice.

What circumstance, however, that might have led to the young Master Katsuki attending the ball, Victor could not imagine. But, he found he dearly hoped that just that had happened for it would explain much about that evening.

Regardless, in less than an hour’s time, he found himself on the steps of Katsuki Yu-Topia. The first person to greet Victor is a tiny older woman with a round face and familiar smile. It is most obvious that Mari, or perhaps it is Yuuri, inherited much in their appearance from their mother.

Victor offered a polite bow. “Good morning. My name is Victor Nikiforov. I know this to be perhaps improper given the lack of notice, but I had hoped I might call upon your daughter?”

Already large brown eyes went wide, but the woman merely nodded as she wiped her hands on a towel. “Mari is tending to the guests. Can I make you some tea to tide you over until she might be free?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

The woman nodded, gesturing for Victor to exchange his shoes for comfortable slippers before proceeding further inside. Victor followed quietly as she led him to a quiet room with a low table and cushions on the floor. It was a foreign style, but one Victor had seen before in his travels. He took the indicated cushion with another polite bow.

“The tea will be ready in just a moment. I apologize for the wait.” “Please,” Victor said, waving off the words, “it is I that should offer apologies for arriving without notice.”

The woman smiled kindly with a nod and bustled away, leaving Victor to enjoy the quiet of the room and the delicious smells that found their way to him from parts further in the inn. Perhaps he should take lunch while here as well. Should his marriage prospects not pan out as he hoped at least the trip would not be completely wasted.

Much sooner than he anticipated, Victor heard the scuffling of slippered feet, a sound that pulled him from his daydreams of new foods, and looking up, to fall into the depths of dearly missed vibrant brown eyes. Eyes that most definitely did not belong to a Miss Mari Katsuki, but to a lovely bespectacled young man. A most flustered and red-faced young man at that.

“Ah.” Victor said, smile bright. “Yuuri. You will come and join me, won’t you?”

Mister Katsuki went most still, hands trembling and setting the tea tray he carried to clattering softly. “I..Mister Nikiforov, I--” “Duke Nikiforov, most technically,” Victor said as he stood and took the tray from Yuuri’s hands. If he perchance happened to brush his fingers against the other man’s as he offered his aid, well, that was, of course, mere happenstance. “But, I think we have perhaps moved past such formalities, have we not, Yuuri?” He spoke the name with emphasis, tone soft and tinged with a hint of longing for the boy had been lovely in a dress and curls, but radiant here with his silken soft hair ruffled and the coat and pants of his uniform leaving little of his strong thighs and trim figure to the imagination.

Yuuri seemed to collapse inwards, head bowed and the beautiful face hidden. “I am most sorry. I never meant to cause offense or to--” Victor caught his chin in one hand, lifting the down-turned face up so that he might meet those beautiful brown eyes. “I am not angry. Simply tell me truly, it seemed some attraction had been shared between us. Was that also a ruse?”

A vibrant blush overtook Yuuri’s face, starting in the cheeks and flowing both upwards to his ears and down, past the long line of his throat. Victor found his gaze most entranced, his mind wandering quite improperly to how far the flush might extend, and in what other circumstances he might see it form.

“Ah...” Yuuri looked away in so much as Victor’s hold on his chin allowed. “I mean, such a thing would be most scandalous, of course, and I would never wish to besmirch such a noble name as--” Victor pressed firmed on the warm, soft skin under his palm, bringing the other man indecently close, close enough that their noses nearly touched and their breaths mingled as one. “I care not for what the gossip-mongers might say, tell me, yes or no, my Yuuri. Was it real?”

A gasping hitch of breath and a long swallow filled the silence before Yuuri managed a gentle, barely whispered, “Yes, it was real. But it’s forbidden.” More words might have followed, but Victor stole them away, pressing his lips gently to Yuuri’s own. At first, just a gentle touch, it soon grew more fervent, both men caught in the warmth and passion of the moment.

A moment most rudely broken by a rough cough from the doorway. There stood a solidly built woman with short cut hair clad not in a proper dress, but the same garb adorning Yuuri himself. “Am I to assume then, Mister Nikiforov,” the woman drawled, voice amused and dry, “that it is my brother and not myself you have come to call upon then?”

Victor felt warmth rush to his cheeks, but managed to keep his expression unaffected as he turned Yuuri in his arms, his back to Victor’s front, so they might both address the woman. “Miss Mari Katsuki, I presume? A pleasure to meet you. Tell me, how do you feel about getting married?”

Mari and Yuuri bore identical expressions of surprise at those words, and it tickled Victor to see. With a small laugh he held Yuuri ever the more tightly, and met Mari’s eyes. “I believe, Miss Katsuki, that you and I might be able to help one another, if you will listen?”

A raised eyebrow was his only response, but she did not leave, nor did she chastise them for the affection on display, which Victor took as a most hopeful sign. And so, with a deep breath, he began to lay out his plan, one he hoped would end with the beautiful man he held, forever allowed to say within his arms.

[nyerus]

Hey I originally followed you for YOI stuff and since that seems to be on haitus, I have seen you and a lot of people rebloing stuff about a different anime or manga (i think) with different mlm relationships? I think they're two diff shows and I've heard about mdzs before. But lately youve been reblogging stuff from a manga tagged tgcf and it looks pretty cool--so i was wondering how I could get into it and what its about? Does it have actual gay charas?

Hello! I’m sorry for the late response! This morphed from a simple answer into a beginner guide of sorts, so I hope you don’t mind! I know there’s like 500000 guides out there, but I figured I’d give it a shot too! ❤

So the stuff you’ve been seeing everywhere is indeed MDZS or related to it–including on my own blog! (I promise when YOI comes back from war, I’ll be all over that again ;o;!!!)

So these works are all by the same author, Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù (MXTX) and they are separate danmei (i.e. Chinese BL) novels, though they share a lot of similarities between them:

MDZS (Mó Dào Zǔ Shī) – Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

TGCF (Tiān Guān Cì Fú) – Heaven Official’s Blessing

SVSSS – Scum Villian’s Self-Saving System

All of them are complete and fan translated, and I’ll answer your last question first: yes, they have actual gay characters! In the novels, the main couples end up canonically married! \o/ In some of the adaptations, their romantic relationships are also maintained (e.g. the manhuas (Chinese graphic novel)), though censorship is present.

Links will be added below this post! Grab some popcorn, this is long!

･:*:･ﾟ’★🐇MDZS🐇★･ﾟ’･:*:･

MDZS《魔道祖师》is definitely the most popular work by MXTX, as it has the most adaptations. You’ve almost certainly been seeing gifs and photosets from its donghua (Chinese animation) or live action the most. However, it has a manhua and audio drama (in both Chinese and Japanese) as well!

Synopsis: Reviled as the infamous Yiling Laozu, Wei Wuxian harnessed the forbidden dark power of demonic cultivation. Once the cultivation world decided he was too dangerous to leave alone, he was hunted down, and a terrible battle ensued that cost Wei Wuxian his life—and the lives of many others. 13 years later, he is resurrected under mysterious circumstances into the body of the pariah Mo Xuanyu. Now with this second chance at life (and while hiding his real identity), Wei Wuxian has to uncover the truth about a powerful malevolent spirit. It may just be the key to revealing a series of heinous secrets hidden from the cultivation world for years. And while the world may still hate him for crimes he didn’t commit, there’s one person who’s on his side—the illustrious Hanguang-jun, Lan Wangji—and is willing to stand by him against all odds. The two have a long and complex history, and Wei Wuxian is unsure of Lan Wangji’s motivations for helping him. But it couldn’t be more simple: respect and love.

Scene from the donghua.

Still from the live action, called “Chén Qíng Lìng”/“CQL”/”The Untamed.”

Panel from the manhua.

Art from the Chinese audio drama.

The great thing about MDZS is that you can really pick your poison in terms of what adaptation you want to get started with. If you are absolutely brand-new to the danmei scene, then starting with the donghua or manhua may be your best bet (both are ongoing). The novel of course is the most beloved, being the source, but all the adaptations have their own charms! They’re all worth checking out, and will keep you busy for quite a while.

･:*:･ﾟ’★🌸TGCF🌸★･ﾟ’･:*:･

Now, for TGCF《天官赐福》—that’s where my photosets are coming from: the ongoing manhua that started in October. There’s a donghua planned for late this year, and a live action in talks (info about that is largely unknown, but is slated for production sometime after the donghua release). TGCF actually has the same deal structure as MDZS apparently, so we’ll be getting an audio drama as well if that’s true.

Synopsis: Talented and virtuous, Crown Prince Xie Lian first ascended to the heavens when he was only 17. Once the darling of the earth and heavens for his boundless skill and purity of heart, he ended up falling from grace—not once, but twice! Subsequently, he became the laughing stock of the three realms. Spending almost 800 years roaming the earth and collecting scraps, he becomes known as the pitiful “rubbish god” and “god of misfortune.” No one could have expected Xie Lian to ascend for a third time, but fate seems to have something in store for this disgraced yet compassionate immortal. Thankfully, he is not alone, as the widely-feared ghost king, Hua Cheng, seems to have a special interest in helping him. The two of them embark on a series of adventures that unravel the secrets of their world, and of themselves.

Panel from the manhua.

Scene from the Donghua PV.

The novel for TGCF is a great place to start, especially considering how the manhua is still in it’s early stages (just starting it’s 2nd arc as of writing this post). The novel is long, incredibly well-written, and well-translated. The manhua is absolutely stunning, and follows the novel very closely thus far.

･:*:･ﾟ’★🎋SVSSS🎋★･ﾟ’･:*:･

The underrated sibling of the three, SVSSS《人渣反派自救系統 》has only the novel to interact with for right now. A donghua is planned for this year. There was a manhua, but it was cancelled due to some problems with the publisher afaik. Word on the street is that they’re searching for a new team for it, so we’ll continue to pray!!!

Synopsis: Shen Yuan is an avid reader of the web novel Proud Immortal Demon Way. The novel revolves around the protagonist Luo Binghe, a kind child who is tormented endlessly by his Shizun (teacher/mentor) Shen Qingqiu, until he turns into a powerful demon lord and exacts his violent revenge. While initially a fan of the story, Shen Yuan hates the unsatisfactory ending. Upon dying suddenly, he finds himself transmigrated into the novel, at the behest of The System—a sci-fi interface which gives him missions and directives. Unfortunately, he ends up in the place of the cruel Shen Qingqiu out of all people! This new Shen Qingqiu now has to use his knowledge of the novel to navigate around the plot, within the restrictions that The System has implemented. He has to find a way to ensure a better ending, if he wants to keep this second chance at life. His plan for doing this is to be as kind and encouraging as possible to the innocent Luo Binghe, who quickly takes a shine to this new Shen Qingqiu. Even after forced to the dark side, and despite the tension between them after this, Luo Binghe won’t let anyone else touch his beloved Shizun.

Cover of the Thai release of the novel.

SVSSS only really has the novel to interact with as of right now. There’s currently an excellent re-translation in progress by tumblr user Faelicy! If you want to get started now, however, you can read what she’s done so far and then swap over to the old translation afterward.

･:*:･ﾟ’★NOTES★･ﾟ’･:*:･

• ALL three novels are intended for an R-18+ audience ONLY. Other adaptations are safe for minors over 16 years of age.

• Please be aware that the novels may contain potentially triggering content. Feel free to ask me for content warnings if you need them.

• All three of these are totally different from one another and only share common themes typical of the wuxia/xianxia genres.

• The original Chinese raws of MDZS and SVSSS are no longer available for purchase on JJWXC (publishing site). You can find print versions on Taobao. TGCF, however, is still available!

• If you’d like more info on anything, please reach out to me! I’m happy to help.

• LINKS WILL BE ADDED BELOW THIS POST.

[dailydoseofbeautiful-image]

1) IT’S OKAY TO FAIL

I’m not sure how other 34 year olds feel when their 35th birthday is coming up. As for me, I felt like my failures grew more apparent. Celebrate what you HAVE accomplished and be grateful for another day.

2) CRAVE TO BE A BEGINNER AGAIN

I’ve been wanting to try something new for a good minute. Like point number one, it’s okay to fail at something! This goes hand in hand with being a beginner. I strongly believe in being a student of life. I always wanted to learn a new language.

3) LOVE YOUR PARENTS

We are often so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old! If you needed a reminder to call your parents, this is it. Do it now! My mom is my world. She was my worst enemy as a teenager but now my best friend as an adult <3

4) MOVE AT YOUR OWN PACE

Fuck what everyone is doing on Instagram. Fuck what your high school friends are doing. Fuck what your college friends are doing. Live your life at your own pace. If you had kids or want kids before marriage, fuck it. If you chose your career before a man, FUCK IT. You will move at the pace that is meant for YOU.

5) SO LIVE THE LIFE AND TAKE EVERY CHANCE TO BE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN BE..

Being true to yourself takes guts. First, you’ve got to face everything around you and figure out what is important; what you think really counts ;). second, you’ve got to interact with a lot of people who may see things differently.

6) RELATIONSHIPS

No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater... The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. and that’s the key. it’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.

7) SOULMATE

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah.. too painful. soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then Leave.

8) 30S ARE BETTER THAN YOUR 20S

It’s the same! Except we’re still young enough to have fun without making dumb decisions. We’re also more mindful financially! We always have experienced and seen things and know what not to repeat. I feel a little more at ease at 30. I’m caring less about what other people think. I really don’t have energy for it anymore!

9) WEAR THE FUCKING SUNSCREEN

My mom always told me to wear sunscreen on my face. I never listened. I have a lot of sunspots on my face now! Wearing sunscreen helps protect you from skin cancer, wrinkles and sunspots/freckles. If you aren’t listening to ya mama, listen to me! lol I wear Glossier’s Invisible Shield, but they’ve been sold out for a good minute. So, I’m currently using Super Goop’s Sunscreen Moisturizer. So far, it hasn’t made me break out!

10) TAKE OFF YOUR MAKE UP BEFORE BED

At the very least, keep some make up removal wipes beside your bed! I know we’re tired af at the end of the night, but you’ll be doing your skin a huge favor in the long run. Just know that make up wipes don’t take off everything, you’d be surprised how much is still on your face! So always try to go further and do your skin care routine.

11) LIFE

This Life is what you make it. no matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes. it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girl’s will be your Friends - they’ll act like it anyways. but just remember, some come, some go. the ones that stay with you through everything- they’re your true best friends. don’t let go of them. As for Lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And i hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if yoi give up, you’ll never find your soulmate, you’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will? so keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.

12) GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT

Everyone on social media posts their highlight reels but only a few share the grit and grind behind it all. Don’t forget to give yourself credit even for the smallest things that you don’t think is “post worthy”. Pat yourself on the back!

13) BE MORE SELF AWARE OF HOW YOU REACT TO OTHERS

I strongly believe in the butterfly effect. How you treat others can leave a positive or negative effect on them. I always try my best to be kind to others. If I can’t be kind, I’m very quiet! Even if people are mean to me, I think deeper like are they having a bad day? Maybe my kind act can help them change their mood.

14) BE NICE AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

Best recipe to live by. So many people offer a lending hand but expect so much in return.

15) DON’T FORCE THINGS – LET IT FLOW ORGANICALLY

Someone who forces shit to happen is ignorant & aggressive. You can’t force relationships or friendships to work out. It doesn’t work that way if it’s ONE SIDED. Sometimes, TIME helps a situation out. Let it play out, what’s destined to be yours will be yours!!! All relationships should be bloomed organically. Always try to understand one another. Some people don’t move like you and that’s okay.

16) YOU DON’T TOLERATE PEOPLE OR SITUATIONS LIKE YOU USED TO

Enough said. Ain’t no body got time for that.

17) IT’S NORMAL TO SEE A THERAPIST

You don’t have to be “crazy” to see a therapist. I did and it was life changing. There’s a huge stigma with mental health, but it’s actually more common than people think. People struggle with it daily but hide it because of the stigma. I also found out that students who are trying to become a therapist offer free or very affordable services to those who don’t have insurance! Check out any college and I’m sure you’ll find something fitting!

18) MEDITATE.. DO THAT SHIT PLS

Practice your breathing too! Headspace is really helpful app that concentrates on various subjects: anxiety, depression, stress, etc. I don’t meditate long! It can be as little as 3 minutes. Taking a moment to find yourself again can help you in the long run.

19) NOW’S THE TIME TO SEE THE WORLD

BITCH, you better be planning to travel!!!!! I can’t emphasize this enough. If you’re a woman reading this, we MUST DO IT NOW. Before you have kids, just do yourself this favor. You won’t regret it. Seeing parts of the world has broaden my perspective immensely!

20) MARI KONDO THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR LIFE: CLOTHES, BOOKS…PEOPLE

I’m at this point in my life where I’m looking at everything and everyONE and ask myself, does this spark joy?! It’s completely necessary for you to start fresh and say thank you to things and people who no longer serve a purpose in your life.

21) IF YOU DON’T HEAL WHAT HURT YOU, YOU WILL BLEED ON PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T CUT YOU (@THEASLAYWAY)

You can’t rely on someone else to fill the void you were supposed to heal yourself first. Don’t be selfish and make sure that you are completed healed when moving on to the next partner!

22) DO WHAT YOU WANT, POST WHAT YOU WANT, LIVE HOW YOU WANT!!!!

WE AINT GIVIN A FUCK IN 2019 & MOVING FORWARD. Go ahead and post what you want. We’re not living for the validation of others.

23) DON’T LIVE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM

Currently trying to get through this right now. lol

24) MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

This goes with 17 & 18. If I sound like I’m repeating myself, then it’s because I really am adamant about it! I didn’t always have GAD, but when I realized I had it, I learned to take the necessary steps to control my anxiety. I realized working out in the gym is not the only “exercising” I should be doing. I should be practicing affirmation, gratitude & meditation.

25) BE CAREFUL WHO YOU GET CLOSE TO

Some people really just in it for the gossip. Keep your circle tight and you’ll be aiite. For me, being in the social media industry has led me to meet several people. It’s rare to meet someone genuine, so I always make sure I keep my distance but still always show respect and give them an opportunity to open up.

26) OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE TOXIC IN YOUR LIFE, BUT MAKE SURE YOU’RE NOT THE TOXIC ONE

As you get older, accountability will help you grow. Owning up to your actions towards others can help you realize how you react towards others or situations. Before pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. I’m a strong believer of what you give this world is gonna come back to you.

27) PLEASE DON’T WORK OUT ON ONLY BOOTY AND ABS

I remember signing up for the gym and telling the membership counselor my goal was to grow a bigger butt and get abs. I’ve learned that your body works as a whole unit, not in isolation! Overall strength over aesthetic is the wave! I love being strong <3

28) RESEARCH HOW YOU CAN IDENTIFY PERSONALITY DISORDERS

You’ll come across people in your life that you can’t see eye to eye with. It could be family, your partner or your friends. I think it’s important to grasp a better understanding of personality traits/disorders such as narcissism, bipolar, emotional abusers, psychopaths, etc. They come or are in your life more often than you think! Not only do I suggest to gain insight on it, but also I recommend researching how to DEAL with it. I promise you things will come to light once you do.

29) LOVE YOURSELF – YOU CAN’T SERVE FROM AN EMPTY VESSEL

Your 20s are your selfish years. Remember to put yourself FIRST. We cannot love someone successfully without loving ourselves first. Our first love should be ourselves to know how WE want to be loved. We must feel secure before stepping into anything serious. Live life for yourself, be gracious and love yourself wholeheartedly.

30) BEFORE YOU ARGUE

Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives? Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.

31) NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

never take responsibility for ppl not seing your worth. There was nothing u could have changed them. No perfection would have made them loyal. No sacrifice would have them made committed. Stop taking blame for decisions that aren't yours

32) Success is never owned.. it’s rented, and the rent is due everyday. -pacman

33) SOMETIMES

I care too much, I trust too much, I think too much, I love too much, everything about me is just too much. But even so I wouldn’t want to change that about me. Just holding onto the hope that one day my “too much” will be everything someone could ever want.

34) FROM GOOD THINGS TO BAD THINGS

From good things, we learn to be a thankful person. From bad things, we learn to be a strong person. Remember that everything will not go the way you want it to. It's a matter of learning that life isn't handed to you. Stop worrying about what others want. Think about what you want, if you listen too much to what people say about you, you will never be who you really are.

[mindlessly-meme]

This was requested as a drabble but i started writting and now i just decided to make it a one shot.

~

He was in shock. He was absolutely astonished, amazed, stunned, and about a thousand other synonyms for shocked. The object in Steve’s hand had the power to change his entire life, and the lives of those around him.

Could it be? Was it possible?

Stumbling into the living room, he stared forward, barely processing the questions being thrown at him from his teammates.

Bucky, Tony, Sam, Clint, and Bruce all exchanged concerned glances with each other. What could have possibly brought the practically unstoppable super soldier to a gaping mess?

The object in Steve’s hand was heavy despite it being made of only thin plastic, and as he finally managed to get this thoughts in some sort of order, a smile graced his lips, and he held up the object.

In his hand was a positive pregnancy test.

~Approximately 12 hours earlier~

You howled in laughter, holding onto your friends arm to keep yourself upright as you stumbled in your heels into the club. The lights flashed to the beat of the loud music and you could hardly hear the voices of your friends as they gestured towards an empty booth.

Sliding in, someone ordered some shots, and the party went on.

What had started as an innocent dinner with your old college friends, turned into drinks, which turned into wasted bar hopping.

And everyone knows when a group of girls get past a certain point of drunkenness, the good stuff starts coming out.

“C'mon (Y/n) you’re the only one left, don’t hold back any details.” Your friend called over the thumping music.

You snorted into your drink. The drunk part of you wanted to tell them everything, I mean who didn’t want to brag about how amazing their superhero boyfriend was in bed, but the sober part of you (as small as it was) still new better.

“Well, lets just say, he is not nearly as innocent as people like to assume he is.” you smirked as the girls lets out whistles and shrieks of laughter.

Your best friend, (f/n), did a fake overdramatic swoon, “Ugh, what I would give. Me and my man got in a fight the other week and he hasn’t touched me since.”

“Damn girl what did you do?” you laughed.

“Oh, (Y/n) you’ll get a kick out of this,” she chuckled, reaching into her purse and tossing your something across the table.

You eyes widened at the positive pregnancy test in your hands, “Oh my god, (f/n) are you- “

“No no, its fake!” she cried shaking her head, “I tricked my boyfriend and he did not find it as funny as I did.” she chuckled.

Suddenly one of your other friends cut in, “Oh my god, (Y/n), you have to do that to Steve!”

The table erupted into shouts of agreement and you tucked the test into your bag, quickly forgetting about it as the subject shifted to the topic of the bartender who had apparently been giving you looks since you sat down.

Hours later, you stumbled into the tower, hardly remembering how you arrived there, and tried to make your way to the room you shared with Steve. You barely made it to the living room before flopping down onto the couch, content with sleeping there that night, but luckily FRIDAY let Steve know of you position.

When he walked out and saw you face down on the couch, your hair a mess, your dress riding dangerously high on your thighs, and heels hanging off your feet, he couldn’t help but laugh before he gently shook you awake, “(Y/n), doll, c'mon I’m gonna take you to bed.” he whispered.

“How romantic,” you purred looking up at him.

He laughed and scooped you up into his arms as you giggled into his chest, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He mumbled, kissing your forehead as he set you on the bed before slipping off your shoes. He managed to slide off your cocktail dress before you latched onto him again.

“Are you trying to initiate something with me Captain?” you hummed.

“If you’re still feeling up to it in the morning, then I’d be happy to initiate, but for now you need to sleep.” he said, and while he was almost positive you didn’t hear a word he said, you let him help you into your pajamas. All while looking at him with those beautiful (e/c) eyes and a sensual smirk, like you had something planned.

The second he joined you in the bed, you jumped onto him and passionately pressed your lips to his.

Crawling ontop of him you deepened the kiss and ran your hands through his hair.

“Mmh, (Y/n), you need, to, sleep.” Steve mumbled through the kisses. After a few moments, you pulled back with a satisfied look in your eyes, flushed cheeks, and swollen red lips. It took all of his self control not to pull you back into another kiss.

Placing small smooches on his jaw and neck, you snuggled into his side, “G’night Steve.”

He smiled down at you, “Good night (Y/n).”

When Steve woke up again, it was due to a combination of your moaning and his alarm clock. He quickly rolled over and shut off the beeping, causing you to let out a sigh of relief and pull the blankets over your head to block out the morning sun.

“How are you feeling doll?” Steve chuckled as he sat up.

“I think I’m dying,” You groaned in response.

“So I’m guessing you don’t want to join me on my morning run?” he asked.

“Just the thought of that it making me nauseous.” You grumbled, your face pressed into the pillow.

He placed a gently kiss on the back of your head as he got up, “I’ll be back in a little bit, ok?”

All he got in response was another groan.

Walking out of your room, Steve made his way into the living room, smiling at Natasha who was sitting with her coffee.

“Morning.” she smiled, “How’s (Y/n)? I heard her stumbling in late last night.”

“Not good,” he said shaking his head.

“I’ll take her to breakfast, get her some fresh air and hangover food.”

“Thanks Nat.”

“No problem Cap.”

Hours later, after a long run, Steve returned to the tower to find his and your room empty. Walking in, he stumbled over your purse, which was laying on the ground where you had dropped it last night. And out of it came the small stick that cause Captain America to completely freeze up. And that brings us to where we are now.

The men in the room all gaped at the pregnancy test.

“Is that…” Sam mumbled.

“Steve, is that (Y/n)’s?” Tony asked, taking the test from his hands, only for Steve to grab it right back.

“It fell out of her purse…I mean, why else would she have it?”

Bucky chuckled, slapping his best friend on the back, “Congrats punk.” he said, beaming with happiness for him.

“God, can you imagine, having a little baby crawling around here? Ohh, I can make it a little suit!” Tony said.

“No, my kid is not going anywhere near your suits.”

“What names are you thinking of?”

“Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?”

“I call being the godfather!”

“Ha, we both know I will be the godfather!”

The group gushed over the possible baby like a group of middle aged women which was a very weird sight for you, Nat, and Wanda to see when you walked back in from breakfast.

“Uh, what’s going on here?” Wanda asked.

“I have no idea.” You said back.

Suddenly, Bucky’s eyes met yours, and he quickly spun Steve around so he was facing you.

Your boyfriend’s face absolutely lit up when he saw you standing there. He always looked at you with eyes full of love and adoration, but this was a whole other level.

“(Y/n).” he said in what was a mix of a sigh and a laugh. He scoops you up into his arms and hugged you tightly, but gently.

“Nope, still hungover, don’t squeeze me too hard.” You laughed, and he set you down, “What’s gotten into you?”

“I, uh,” he took a deep breath, “I found this.” He held up the pregnancy test, and you physically felt your soul leave your body.

“Oh…Oh no no, Steve that that’s not-” you stammered.

“(Y/n)! Why didn’t you tell us!” Natasha asked.

You were bombarded with questions from the team, ranging from how far along you were, to whether or not it was from that time Tony walked in on you gettin it on while you two were skinny dipping in the hot tub (but that’s a whole story on its own).

Looking around the room, your eyes met Wanda’s, and judging by the nervous look on her face, she knew the truth.

“Guys.” You said, but it was lost in the commotion, “Guys listen!” you shouted.

They quieted down, and you looked hesitantly at your Boyfriend, the look of excitement in his eyes broke your heart, “Steve, that’s not real.” you sighed, closing your eyes so you wouldn’t have to see his reaction. But you didn’t need to, you could hear the heartbreak in his voice.

“What…?”

“I’m sorry, my friend gave it to me last night as a joke and I completely forgot about it and…” you trailed off, looking into his eyes, “I’m sorry.”

It was silent for a moment as what yoy said sunk in. Then he spoke up, “Th-that’s ok (Y/n),” he said with a sad smile, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have made a big deal about it. I should have asked you about it first.”

With a tight lipped smile, he awkwardly left the room.

The team stood in a stunned silence, and you sighed rubbing your face before following Steve.

It took you a bit to find him, he wasn’t in your room, or in the gym, or anywhere else you could think until you finally found him on the balcony looking out over the city. The fake test was sitting next to him.

“Steve, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even brought that home.” You stood next to him,  melting into his side and he put his arm around you.

“It’s not your fault. I just got excited I guess.” he said, laughing a bit.

“I didn’t know you wanted kids so bad.”

“Either did I. I guess when I saw it there and thought you were pregnant, I realized how much I love you. And thinking of it all, it just made me excited. And…if you want to, I love to have kids with you.”

“I would love to have kids with you too," you smiled up at him, and he leaned down to kiss you, “And you know, we do it so often I wouldn’t be surprised it I really was pregnant and just didn’t know it.” you winked up at him, “But, just to seal the deal, maybe we should recreate that time in the hot tub.”

~

Not really feeling that ending but whatevs. I am slowly getting through all my requests so there should be more coming soon. Hope you enjoy!!

[fencer-x]

Hi fencer! I wanna start off by saying thank you for all the work you put into the fandoms you're passionate about (both by scanlating stuff and by sharing your thoughts and views on the shows). I loved coming to your blog after each new ep of yoi and reading what you thought about it. ^_^ I see you're a fellow fan of drarry, and that you (like me) read a lot of fanfics. Do you have any favourite authors or fics? Also, I agree 100%, Ron and Hermione being together is a must for me as well. :)

I’ve been reading a lot of great ones lately, though I’m wondering if most haven’t already been read by you and/or others hoping for good reccs XD I’ll include some of my favorites here anyway! A “warning” that I pretty much only recommend really long and really porny stuff, so all of this is mostly novel-length fics or longer with boys touching one another :3

Any Instrument by dicta_contrion [NC17] | “Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.” -- [my thoughts: really long, really a great bit of lore, especially if you’re interested in expansions on how wands work and interact with wizards. Draco lives in France after the war and specializes in how magic interacts with human biology, and he gets called in as an expert to treat Harry when his magic starts going haywire. There’s a very good reason for the haywire magic, and it’s a doozy. Slow build, just like I like it]

Helix by Saras_Girl [NC17] | “Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again.” -- [my thoughts: this is a fic with a really weird and quirky premise because how can a fic about Harry and Draco babysitting mating snails be all that good?? But???? IT IS??? It’s really quite adorable, and I guarantee you won’t regret investing your time in it.]

At Your Service by Faith Wood [NC17] | “Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There's only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.” -- [my thoughts: I LOVE “eighth-year” fics, and this one was really good and quite a head-scratcher (so if you like plot in your fic, here it be!) It gets particularly intense near the end, but I implore you to stick with it!]

Lumos by birsofshore [NC17] | “Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.” -- [my thoughts: this one gets pretty porny pretty early on, and probably banks more on that for being a good read than in-character-ness. Nevertheless, I did enjoy it and expect others would too. Also, it’s rare to see Ron react so casually to the idea of Harry and Draco together outside of fics set well into adulthood, but you get that here! How IC or otherwise you find that, I leave to your discretion, but at least it was one less bit of drama to address. Lots of fun with wandless magic and intense bickering :D]

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound [NC17] | “Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.” -- [my thoughts: My two favorite setups in H/D fic are ‘eighth-year shenanigans’ and ‘auror partners’, so here we have the latter beautifully done! But GOD is the build-up nigh-torture at times.]

The Shape of the World by bixgirl1 [NC17] | “Five years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco's life is finally getting back in order. Until, that is, he sees a familiar face that has been missing since that last awful morning of the war. When has knowing Potter done anything other than complicate his life? Although, for two people such as Potter and Malfoy, how can they fall in love except to put aside their preconceived notions about one another?” -- [my thoughts: the summary doesn’t tell you much, so a better short summary is ‘Harry went missing years ago, Draco happens upon him in California where Harry has been, suffering from apparent amnesia, and has to help him get back to the Wizarding World, whether he wants to rejoin it or not’. There’s some discussion of dubious consent, and it’s addressed in the story, so hopefully that allays some worries about the idea of ‘draco knows who harry is but harry doesn’t know who draco is and therefore cannot give informed consent to a relationship with him’]

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop [NC17] | “It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?" [my thoughts: GOSH this has definitely been one of my FAVORITES of these recent ones I’ve been binging. It’s got kind of a ‘Fifty First Dates” feel to it, which I love, and just seeing Draco lose himself as he gets deeper and deeper into Harry is really...heartbreaking, but also so lovely. Definitely a must-read]

What We Pretend We Can’t See by gyzym [NC17] | “Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.” [my thoughts: another terrible summary, lol; the premise of this one is that Harry decides to sell Grimmauld Place in order to put the terrible memories of it behind him, and unbeknownst to him, Draco buys it and turns it into a sort of museum. It becomes...KNOWNST to him when there’s a break-in at the museum, and they have to work together to figure out who’s behind it and what they want. This is one of my absolute favorite Dracos; he’s very mouthy and snarky and unapologetic but also worried about how much of that Harry will be able to put up with and therefore tries to keep him at arms’ length. This thing is packed with hurt/comfort too, so if you’re a sucker for that, click immediately!]

I’ve still got lots more in my to-read list that look good, so I may make another recommendation post later. I hope maybe there are some here that my followers who are into the ship haven’t read and are about to have their day made :3 Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts!!

[accio-transcript]

Mod R: Hello, welcome to the oneshot accio-shitpost podcast. I’m Mod R, otherwise known as Roxie, and my pronouns are she/her, thank you very much. And you are?

Mod H: And I’m Mod H, otherwise known as LH, and my pronouns are they/them.

Mod R: Um, so, we’re going to be asking some of your questions!

Mod H: We’re going to be answering some of their questions. We’ll also ask them!

Mod R: They’re fresh off the…question mill, being made by our lovely question workers, in the question mill.

Mod H: In the question mines.

Mod R: theshieldswordandcrown.tumblr.com says ‘If y’all’ – nice Texan shit there – [in bad American accent] ‘If y’all could go to any magical school, which one would it be? Doesn't have to be in the HP universe, either.’ So I don’t know about any other universes apart from the Harry Potter universe that has magical schools, apart from the Worst Witch, which I doubt you know about!

Mod H: Yeah, I’ve got an even more obscure one, but I’m not even gonna mention-

Mod R: Tell me, tell me.

Mod H: Okay, so, do you know Anthony Horowitz? The horror writer?

Mod R: Yes.

Mod H: Well he wrote a horror, erm, couple of horror books for kids about a magic school called Groosham Grange, where basically all of the kids were fucked up. But to actually answer the question, I guess it’d have to be Hogwarts.

Mod R: Hogwarts. Like, I wanna be, like, special, and think of another magical school-

Mod H: But honestly…

Mod R: Are there any other magical schools?

Mod H: No…

Mod R: Um…the Bureau of Balance.

Mod H: Good one.

Mod R: Um, do they teach? I guess they do, don’t they.

Mod H: I mean, Angus learned magic there.

Mod R: From Taako.

Mod H: So it’s like a magic school because of that.

Mod R: Yeah…the Bureau of Balance is from the McElroy brother and father’s The Adventure Zone.

Mod H: Which, check it out if you haven’t.

Mod R: Check it out. It’s good. You’ll like it.

Mod H: Check it out if you like magical fantasy stuff that starts out totally silly and ends up giving you emotions.

Mod H: Anonymous said, ‘Five questions for your 100k thingy. 1) how do you come up with your clever post ideas like how its not fair 2) um... 3) lemme think 4) I... 5) yeah, I’ve only got one question.. never mind.’

Mod R: Yeah, so this is, it reads as bad as it sounds.

Mod H: Yeah. Sorry, anon.

Mod R: No offense anon, I’m sure you’re lovely.

Mod H: But to actually answer your question…

Mod R: Um…

Mod H: Straight off the dome.

Mod R: Straight off the dome-piece. One hundred percent.

Mod H: There are two methods – one of them is ‘oh no I haven’t filled up the queue, um, um, let’s make a post about…lamp’.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah. Like sometimes if you look through the posts, um-

Mod H: You can totally see a thought process.

Mod R: Yeah yeah, so like there was one about a unicycle and a Segway straight after each other in the batch that just came out.

Mod H: Two about Godzilla, recently, as well. I had Godzilla on the brain.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, sometimes we reorder them so it doesn’t look like…but it’s totally obvious. If it’s from within twenty four hours it’s probably from the same.

Mod H: The other method is that…when we phone call each other, we just brainstorm.

Mod R: Yeah yeah yeah, and here’s one, I’m not sure if you do this anymore, um, but, I certainly used to do this and whenever I make posts now it’s um, I go to the Harry Potter wiki.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And like, I haven’t done this for a while.

Mod H: I used to do that too, yeah.

Mod R: Because Cursed Child and we didn’t want any spoilers.

Mod H: Heh. I knew the spoilers. I’m trash.

Mod R: You knew the spoilers.

Mod H: You didn’t.

Mod R: And we just used to click ‘random page’, and whatever – okay, here’s the bad bit about this. There’s a page for every day of the year.

Mod H: Everything.

Mod R: Every day of the year in – like, you say ‘did anything happen on January 21st in the Harry Potter universe?’ You can look it up!

Mod H: I don’t know but we can check!

Mod R: We can check!

Mod H: The third method we use to make shitposts, of course, is asking someone else. Shoutout to Mod K, who gives me-

Mod R: Yeah, that’s fucking true.

Mod R: Okay. Next question is from anythingcanonwillbeshipped.tumblr.com, who appropriately asks, ‘Drarry, Scorbus, both, or neither??’ And-

Mod H: Well, there’s an obvious answer to this.

Mod R: There’s an obvious answer to this. Scorbus. One hundred percent Scorbus.

Mod H: Scorbus.

Mod R: Like, no offense to all you Drarry shippers, it’s – okay right, I’ve never been a Drarry shipper.

Mod H: Me neither.

Mod R: Despite – despite some of our posts.

Mod H: We have made jokes about it.

Mod R: I do think that Draco Malfoy might have had a crush on Harry for a while.

Mod H: It’s totally a viable thing, like it would be interesting to see a well-developed dynamic between them.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah. There’s some good fics out there about that, but I’m just not about them being in a relationship.

Mod H: Yeah, personally.

Mod R: Until at least they’re adults.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And by then, they’re both married. Which is fine, you can still ship them, but like –

Mod H: The Cursed Child versions of them, it’d be particularly interesting to see them together.

Mod R: Yeah. I was about to say, the closest I’ve ever come to shipping Drarry – and I did ship it a lil bit.

Mod H: A lil bit.

Mod R: Is when I watched the Cursed Child. And you, most people listening to it probably haven’t watched it.

Mod H: Yeah, uh, we’ve been quite lucky to have the privilege of seeing Cursed Child-

Mod R: Yeah, because we’re both local to London. Not, we’re not really, I mean you’re – you live very far away-

Mod H: You’re more local.

Mod R: I live kinda far away. daq – as in d-a-q – litterqueen.tumblr.com, no dashes, says ‘#accio100k firstly, congrats!!!’ Thank you!’ :D secondly, combine the color of the t-shirt you are wearing and the name of the last food you ate and WALLA, reveal your unique spell!’ Okay so…mine’s…blue and I last ate – I had pizza, so I’ve got blue pizza, blueizza.

Mod H: Bleetza.

Mod R: I’m gonna say blueizza, because I’m not a fucking scrub.

Mod H: My shirt’s dark blue, like I guess navy, yeah, so navy chips.

Mod R: Nips.

Mod H: Oh God. Nips!

Mod R: It’s nips.

Mod H: Okay. Anonymous asked ‘time is an illusion that man made up to understand the fourth dimension’.

Mod R: More of a statement than a – but this is something I like to talk about. I know a little bit about physics, I dropped physics in GCSE but I’ve still remained very interested in it, and I still read up on it, I’ve read a lot of books about physics…er, I know this sounds like I’m bigging myself up but I’m really not, I’m kinda trash.

Mod H: But you know a bit-

Mod R: People say a lot, time isn’t real, humans made up time. That’s strictly not true. Time is a measurable thing, and we made up the measurements for it, and we’re like ‘oh half past four’ – half past four is made up, that’s not real.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Time itself is a real dimension that plays into the universe. If time didn’t exist, nothing would happen. That’s how-that’s how it works. Time is just the way we describe things happening in an order.

Mod H: It’s sort of like time is a thing, but our measurements of time is an illusion.

Mod R: Yeah yeah, like people could say space is fake. That’s not true. One metre is fake, we made that up, but like space is definitely real and the distance between me and, like, the bed in front of me might be a metre, and that’s fake, but it’s still in front of me, like it still exists.

Mod H: Yeah. It’s still that distance away, no matter how much-

Mod R: Same for time. So thank you for giving me this. Time is an illusion that man made up, to understand the fourth dimension, is closer to the truth but not quite. Anonymous asks ‘How old are y’all’ [in fake American accent] ‘How old are y’all and what do you do. Are yoi students?’ There’s an upside down question mark there-

Mod H: We are Yuri on Ice students.

Mod R: We’re not.

Mod H: We’re not students or Yuri on Ice.

Mod R: It’s spelled y-o-i, it’s a typo apparently. Are you students? I’m…technically on a gap year I might go to uni in a year or so. You’re not a student anymore.

Mod H: I’m not a student anymore.

Mod R: You’re in the in-between place between getting a job and going to uni.

Mod H: Yeah. I am unemployed!

Mod R: I’m between coming out from education to either going to further education or a job, or both. So we’re both sorta floating right now.

Mod H: Yeah, we’re sort of in a transitional phase.

Mod R: Ha ha ha. donutmesswithme.tumblr.com-

Mod H: Good name.

Mod R: Good name. Says ‘How was your day?’ Eh, it was okay.

Mod H: You had a hot dog. It was a good day.

Mod R: Okay, yeah, I had a hot dog, that was good. Good day-a good day.

Mod H: Gourmet hot dog, good day.

Mod R: pantless-wonder.tumblr.com, shout out to you, says ‘Thoughts on My Immortal (the original fanfic, people behind it, web series, and unrelated YouTube videos claiming to be the authors)?’ So, first of all, the original fanfiction, I have not read the entire way though.

Mod H: I have read the entirety of it, ‘cos I went through a very bad Harry Potter fanfiction phase when I was younger.

Mod R: Do you believe-are you one who believes that it’s fake, that it’s a troll fic, or do you think it’s real?

Mod H: I believe it’s a particularly well-crafted troll fic.

Mod R: Really. I’m not sure? Okay, I think the biggest-okay, right, I was so sure that it was real because fanfiction used to definitely be like that, back when they used the word ‘lemon’, you know.

Mod H: Back in those days. I remember those days.

Mod R: It used to be like that! And I know kids who could’ve written that.

Mod H: I could’ve written that.

Mod R: Strange kids, yeah. What ticks off for me, and makes me think-and I’ve talked about this a lot of time, that it’s a troll fic-

Mod H: Yeah I think we’ve had this discussion.

Mod R: We’ve had this conversation a lot. Yeah. At one point, she accidentally calls Tom Riddle Tom Bombadil?

Mod H: Yeah, there’s no way-

Mod R: And here’s the thing, here’s the thing. Right. That’s not a typo, and autocorrect didn’t exist back then, okay. Tom Bombadil was a very minor character in the book The Lord of the Rings, not the movie, the books. Like, the fact that she would know such a character, like, implies-cos she said she didn’t even read the Harry Potter books and just watched the movies, she would not have read Lord of the Rings if she had not read Harry Potter.

Mod H: She would not know who Tom Bombadil-I mean, I think for me, like a lot of the language is ridiculous and over the top, and a lot of the supposed spelling errors are so-

Mod R: Like, okay, there’s a couple of thing that are like, could definitely be real but probably aren’t with the context of Tom Bombadil, like, such as, ‘I ate my Count Chocula with blood’.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And that’s the thing that like, some emo scene kid in 200-whatever would have said, but like I think that she was just very ahead of her time in terms of like staging a fic.

Mod H: Yeah, I mean, in a lot of ways My Immortal was very much the prototype on which all previous-all later trollfics even were based.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: Like, it became…

Mod R: It’s like the proto-trollfic.

Mod H: Basically. And one thing that I really like in myself is how well they really characterised that behind-the-scenes narrative going on, with like the friend and writing the character based on their friend out and then back in.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: And then when the fic got ‘hacked’, and suddenly everything was all preppy because some troll had hacked them on the internet. And the way the grammar broke down as well after the supposed proofreader stopped doing it.

Mod R: But of course you’d just like delete the prep fics, wouldn’t you, if you hacked it back.

Mod H: Yeah, you wouldn’t like keep it. I mean, the whole thing’s gone now. But there’s archives. You can find it.

Mod R: Yeah, you’ll find it. Webseries. Have you seen the webseries?

Mod H: I haven’t seen it. I know it exists, but-

Mod R: Being someone involved in webseries, hint hint nudge nudge, check out the Uncanny Upshurs on youtube.com, but erm I’ve watched that with the creator of the Uncanny Upshurs, well, the co-creator, with Ingrid Nixie Greep herself, and I very much enjoyed it.

Mod H: The legend.

Mod R: I haven’t seen season two, so don’t spoil that for me. But I really liked it! It was very bare bones special effects. What they did was, when they had a wand fight near the end of it, um, when they like cast a spell, they would do like star effects, like the shape of like a star, and it’d make like a crack noise, and it was really nice because it was like stylised. The, er, unrelated YouTube videos claiming to be authors…you’ve sent me one I haven’t watched.

Mod H: I, yeah, I found one.

Mod R: That claims to be.

Mod H: It wasn’t that, it was that…the girls behind it were supposedly called Willow and Tara, and there was something with two girls saying they, like, ‘New Years 2007, but I don’t know why you celebrate New Years cos we’re all gonna die anyway’. And the fact that they had the same names as the supposed authors of My Immortal was like…people were wondering whether those were the same people.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mod H: As for people coming out later saying that they authored My Immortal-

Mod R: Unless JK Rowling comes out and says it, I’m not-

Mod H: Same.

Mod R: Until Jo says it.

Mod H: But like all of them are probably riding on the popularity of the fic.

Mod R: shitlordanakin.tumblr.com says ‘How did you feel the first time you saw a post of yours screenshotted on HP instagram accounts?’ We didn’t. We don’t use Instagram.

Mod H: No, neither of us actually do.

Mod R: And I’ve never seen any of our posts on Facebook. We’ve seen them on Buzzfeed?

Mod H: I’ve seen…I’ve seen a few of them on Facebook.

Mod R: I might have seen a couple now…

Mod H: Some of my friends linked me to them.

Mod R: But like, what happened usually is our friends that know about us send us screenshots before we see them. We’re fine with it, because, as long as they source us – usually, if we find someone who isn’t sourcing us we talk to them, and we’re like ‘hey, can you do that’, but like if they’re not sourcing us, we’ve made so many posts that we forget which ones are ours.

Mod H: And a couple of people have even come to us like ‘I want to set up an Instagram with and use your stuff, is that okay’ and like, it’s fine!

Mod R: And we talk to them, and we’re like, yeah, it’s cool. They had more followers than us then.

Mod H: That was good.

Mod R: But they weren’t just posting our stuff, so, it was original content as well. And Instagram, I think, is a whole different ballgame to tumblr.

Mod H: Yeah. I don’t understand it.

Mod R: Neither do I.

Mod H: lunaloveboook says-

Mod R: Aw, that’s a good-three ‘o’s, by the way.

Mod H: lunaloveboook. ‘For the podcast: 1)How did it started? 2) And I really loved when Something Big And Bad happened and you put all your efforts in reassuring people’

Mod R: So that’s one question and a statement, and-I’m gonna answer the question first, and then talk about the statement.

Mod H: Ok. Do you wanna tell this story, cos? You kinda instigated it.

Mod R: Yeah, so, I was just sending like bad Harry Potter jokes to LH.

Mod H: This happens sometimes.

Mod R: I remember walking from my school to Subway and back, to get a Subway-

Mod H: She was just sending me all these jokes, and I was replying with some.

Mod R: Yeah yeah, and we were like ‘we can make this into a blog’, and then we decided to post ten a day, we posted a few off the bat, made a tag – back then we tagged everything with ‘dank memes’ and stuff as well, so, to get to the target-

Mod H: We really didn’t know what we were doing.

Mod R: We didn’t know what we were talking-to try and get to the biggest audience.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Nowadays, since we don’t need any help with that, we just tag with the characters involved and hope there’s some fans looking through the tags maybe.

Mod H: Yeah. Cos I mean we tag the most obscure-and we tag like full names as well, that’s obviously not, like nobody’s gonna be-

Mod R: Like, if we make a post about Draco Malfoy, then somebody might-

Mod H: But like nobody’s going to be tracking Xenophilius Lovegood – or like not a lot of people. But like ones who aren’t usually referred to by their full name, like Pomona Sprout, we tag her as that.

Mod R: Oh fuck, I didn’t even know that was her name.

Mod H: There you go.

Mod R: ‘And I really loved when Something Big And Bad happened and you put all your efforts in reassuring people’

Mod H: Thank you!

Mod R: For those of you who don’t know, this is referring to the [cough]election last year.

Mod H: [cough]America.

Mod R: Yeah, um, of a country that we’re not – that I’ve been to, a bunch of times.

Mod H: I haven’t.

Mod R: You want to go there, because you want – I’ve actually been to the theme park.

Mod H: I wanna go to Disneyland.

Mod R: Which I am incredibly privileged to have been to. Thank you? I mean like, we felt like it just wasn’t the time for jokes, you know, instead we…what happened was, Donald Trump got elected, and we were like, this is a bit crass to post jokes today, because people are going-and people sent us messages like ‘you’re overreacting’ and maybe we were a bit, but, there are a lot of people who are genuinely afraid.

Mod H: And we basically had a conversation about it that morning and we said, we’re gonna keep posting regular content but we’re also just gonna say, you know, our askbox is open. And a few asks started trickling in so we started answering, and a whole lot of asks started trickling in.

Mod R: Because we answered hundreds that day.

Mod H: Yeah, I mean, I remember having to give up at one point because my hands were cramping because I’d been typing that hard?

Mod R: Yeah, and-like, I don’t wanna big myself up. We feel like what we did anybody in our shoes would have done. Like, this isn’t something that I feel proud of – I mean, I’m proud that I’m a good enough person to have done it-

Mod H: It’s not like a huge-

Mod R: I don’t wanna be, like, praised for it, you know, like anyone in our shoes would have done this. But thank you for the question.

Mod H: And thank you for the compliment.

Mod R: wizardingviolet asks-

Mod H: It’s a good question.

Mod R: ‘Do you ship any LGBT pairing or headcanon that isn't one of the "classics" ? (like Wolfstar, Drarry and’…how do you say ‘Deamus’? Day-mus?

Mod H: Dee-mus, I go for.

Mod R: Like, Dean and Seamus, Day-mus, Dee-mus…um-

Mod H: Well, there’s an obvious answer to this one, that we both have immediately.

Mod R: Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley.

Mod H: Luna and Ginny.

Mod R: Luna and Ginny!

Mod H: Luna and Ginny.

Mod R: Ginny and Luna!

Mod H: Linny-Linny.

Mod R: Guna?

Mod H: I just made that up by accident but that’s the ship name now! Other than that, probably-

Mod R: Headcanons though. I have a bunch of trans headcanons.

Mod H: Oh yeah, yeah.

Mod R: Like, I like to see Luna as a trans girl but that’s only because I relate to her a lot – I don’t like necessarily think there’s any evidence for that. Not that you need evidence to believe, but like there’s no other reason for me to believe that other than I really identify with her.

Mod H: That makes sense, though.

Mod R: But like we all do that. Neville’s bi, as far as I’m concerned.

Mod H: Oh my gosh, that’s really cute.

Mod R: Neville’s bi, and like he had a crush on Harry for the first three years.

Mod H: I’ve now decided that Neville’s in like a weird polyamorous relationship with Dean and Seamus.

Mod R: Someone said, ‘RONALD WEASLEY. HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! YOUR FATHER IS NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU DO SO MUCH AS PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, YOU WILL BE SENT STRAIGHT. HOME Oh, and accio-shitpost, dear, congratulations on reaching 100k followers. Your father and I are so proud!’

Mod H: Thank you, Molly Weasley.

Mod R: Thank you, mam! Mam!

Mod H: We didn’t know that any-

Mod R: Does this mean that we’re in a relationship with Luna Lovegood, because I’m okay with that.

Mod H: We didn’t know that any fictional characters from the Harry Potter universe were following our blog, but like-

Mod R: Nice. It’s good to hear that my mother, Molly Weasley, is a real person.

Mod H: It’s good to hear from you guys!

Mod H: Okay. briarrosebydayaurorabynight asks 'What inspired you to start the shitposting? Besides Harry Potter obviously.'

Mod R: Um.

Mod H: Honestly?

Mod R: Memes.

Mod H: Yeah, we just sort of started.

Mod R: We’ve sort of answered when we started and what caused us to start, but like what inspires us? Like, just honestly those big other shitpost accounts. Like, I’m not sure if we knew about others at the time but um, like just-shower-thoughts is a famous one that everybody sees. Um. Anonymous says ‘Have any of you ever been in love?’

Mod H: NO.

Mod R: ‘Also one of you must be gay, so who is it?’ Ok so, why must one of us be gay, and also how did you know that?

Mod H: I mean, like every other post we make is about how Ginny and Luna should be together.

Mod R: That’s true. But like, you believe that and you’re not even gay.

Mod H: I mean. Full disclosure.

Mod R: You’re also not straight.

Mod H: I am super aromantic, so like…I think that lets them know which one of us is gay here.

Mod R: I’m…a lesbian.

Mod H: But erm. Speaking for me, I’ve never had the romos.

Mod R: No. Um, I’ve been in love multiple times.

Mod H: You’re a big old softie.

Mod R: Yeah. Uh, I have a-well, I’m polyamorous and I have just like a bunch of girlfriends. Just a bunch. I’ve been in love multiple times and it sure is a trip!

Mod H: Anonymous asked, ‘How do you keep your shit posts fresh and steaming and avoid posting stale ones?’

Mod R: We don’t.

Mod H: We really don’t.

Mod R: Is the answer, we just don’t.

Mod H: We’ve definitely, by this point, repeated ourselves a couple of times.

Mod R: Right ok, there’s definitely a post we’ve done at least three times, and that is ‘I can’t believe that the reward for beating the dragon in Goblet of Fire is a screaming egg’. We’ve done that one like three times!

Mod H: But erm, to actually answer the question, there are a few times that we like, go back and-because we think we’ve made this post before, and we find that we have made this exact same post before. Word-for-word.

Mod R: Also, um, usually.

Mod H: So that’s embarrassing.

Mod R: I’m not afraid to admit that it’s you usually making shitposts these days.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And I usually deal with like asks and stuff instead.

Mod H: I mean, we both do make shitposts, and we both do answer asks.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: But like, primarily those are-

Mod R: Um, yeah, and what we often do it, I’ll look through the shitposts you make, and I’ll like edit them. You can-there was this one a long time ago that-

Mod H: Oh, that one’s a classic example of that happening.

Mod R: There was one that was like ‘Ron: You’re a girl right Hermione’ and Hermione was like ‘No, I’m a lizard Ronald’ and then LH had put like ‘she turned into a lizard and scuttled away’

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And I was like, that’s like, there’s a funny gag in there but the way you put it-

Mod H: Yeah, and I posted that thinking ‘there’s something funnier in here but I just can’t unlock it’?

Mod R: Yeah, so before it posted, when it was in the queue, I edited it to say like ‘No Ronald I’m a Weasley [she meant lizard]’ and then ‘blinks sideways’. Like, because like that’s what lizards do, and that’s way funnier!

Mod H: Some of the posts come out of conversations we’ve had and I’ve worded them, that’s-

Mod R: Pretty much.

Mod H: There’s my counter-example. Like, you’ve come up with an idea when we’ve been talking-

Mod R: Like I often, we’re often just talking about Harry Potter, and then you’ll be like ‘oh shit that’s good’ and then type that down.

Mod H: Yeah, and I put it into words, and actually make it into a post, so-

Mod R: Yeah, it really is a teamwork thing.

Mod H: Yeah, it’s a team effort! Moreso than we think it is, sometimes, I think.

Mod R: whimsicalfangirlthings said, ‘How do you like your macaroni and cheese?’ Like, together.

Mod H: Cooked.

Mod R: Like, cooked.

Mod H: In a microwave, usually.

Mod R: Like, no offense whimsicalfangirlthings.tumblr.com, are there many ways to have macaroni and cheese?

Mod H: If there are, I don’t know them.

Mod R: Like, in my mouth, that’s where I like to have…I really like-Mac and cheese is maybe one of my favourite pastas. Anonymous asks, ‘How many apples does Draco eat a day?’ I don’t fucking know!

Mod H: What-what kind of?

Mod R: I know that’s a reference to like, the gif where he’s eating the apple.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: I don’t know! What does that mean, like-ok, I. Here’s, you want a funny answer? Sixty nine. There you go. Jesus Christ.

Mod H: Is that a funny answer?

Mod R: ig-ign…

Mod H: ignativs-weasley, that’s Ignatius spelled with a v instead of a u, dash Weasley-

Mod R: .tumblr.com

Mod H: Says ‘Hey! Ignativs here. I was wondering, why 1965? Your bio, I mean? Thanks. #accio100k’

Mod R: Um.

Mod H: This is-this is a long-held secret. It’s not really a secret!

Mod R: Nah, people have worked it out before.

Mod H: Many people have worked it out.

Mod R: People have asked us this, people have sent in ‘oh, I get it’, um, it’s when JK Rowling was born. Which is a bit-a bit of a nod, just to like say actually, actually we’re JK Rowling. Which is not true, we’re not actually.

Mod H: We’re-we’re not.

Mod R: ‘Which Harry Potter character(s) would you most like to have a slumber party with?’

Mod H: I mean, I think it’d be really fun to have a slumber party with Dumbledore?

Mod R: Yes, my man!

Mod H: But that would go places.

Mod R: That’d go places.

Mod H: That’d go weird places, and probably end up in death.

Mod R: The places it’d go would be like, like Voldemort Cave.

Mod H: But uh, I wouldn’t like to have a slumber party with but I’d like to have a drink with Aberforth. That’d be quite fun.

Mod R: Well no ‘cos-he’d end up fucking a goat at the slumber party. I always said Ah-ber-forth, by the way.

Mod H: Ah-ber-forth, Ay-ber-forth, I go back and forth. Eyyyyyyy.

Mod R: Eyyyyyyyy. Um, Slughorn, by the way.

Mod H: Slughorn! Slughorn-

Mod R: Because like, he does such good midnight parties!

Mod H: Let’s just have a professor party! Snape leaves, get McGonagall in here-

Mod R: Snape’s dead.

Mod H: Yeah, Snape’s dead, get McGonagall in here-

Mod R: No, I’m too scared of McGonagall.

Mod H: Ah, I think-

Mod R: I’m too scared and sexually intimidated by Minerva McGonagall.

Mod H: Ok, fair, fair. Flitwick! Flitwick would be a riot.

Mod R: Luna, by the way.

Mod H: Luna, yeah.

Mod R: And the Weasley twins.

Mod H: The Weasleys. Just all of them.

Mod R: All of them…apart from Percy, that wanker.

Mod H: I didn’t-what’s a Percy?

Mod R: Yeah, who’s Percy?

Mod H: Apologies to all Per-

Mod R: [gasp] Arthur Weasley! Because we’re Muggles, he’d love-

Mod H: That’d be really cute!

Mod R: [high voice] ‘What the fuck’s a lightbulb?’

Mod H: Let’s have a slumber party with Dobby.

Mod R: No, that’d be shit. Have you seen the one time Harry’s been asleep, and Dobby’s been there? It was Chamber of Secrets, and it was awful.

Mod H. nuevojesus-blog said, ‘What is your favourite HP book and film?’

Mod R: You go yours, I’m not sure about mine.

Mod H: Mine would be Order of the Phoenix for book, and Prisoner of Azkaban for film.

Mod R: Prisoner of Azkaban definitely for film, um, despite the fact that it misses out some of the important details, it’s definitely one of the better directed in my opinion.

Mod H: Well, I think it was definitely the last one before the books were getting far too long to adapt.

Mod R: Yeah. No offense, but the first three movies are the best.

Mod H: Yeah, the first-well, I mean, it’s-they’re different types of movies.

Mod R: And the last two are both far too long and too short, simultaneously.

Mod H: Yeah, I get what you mean by that.

Mod R: Like they put in too much stuff that they don’t need in, and they keep out too much stuff that they do need in, like a proper goodbye to the Dursleys wasn’t in. But Harry and Hermione dancing while Ron fucked off was in there.

Mod H: Yeah, like, they really left out some things that they should have had in and put in a lot of things that weren’t necessary?

Mod R: Which might be to do with the way that-I feel like the directors changed over?

Mod H: The directors did change from the first three to-

Mod R: Really. ordinarylittleme.tumblr.com asked ‘Who are you guys, also what made you decide to make this blog?’ So we’ve also sort of answered one of these, so, ‘who are you guys’, we’ve also again sort of answered. ‘What made you decide to make this blog?’ Um, for once, I had one of my wild ideas. The relationship that we have is very much-you’ll be asleep at like, to be fair at like eleven pm, okay? I used to phone LH up in the middle of the night saying ‘I’ve got this brilliant idea!’ And then every time, of course, they’d be like ‘no, that’s an awful idea.’

Mod H: To be fair, you haven’t heard some of the ideas!

Mod R: Yeah, they’re pretty bad. But this time, I was like ‘you know those jokes that we’ve been sending each other today, the Harry Potter jokes, why don’t we do a blog? Like, we could get popular!’

Mod H: And I, of course, being the practical one, I was like ‘no, that’s a terrible idea, we should never do that’

Mod R: I don’t think you were like that though, I feel like for most of the things you were like ‘uuuuh maybe’. But I think for this one you were like ‘actually, that sounds like a cool idea!’

Mod H: Well, I’m always more reluctant about a lot of these things.

Mod R: Yeah, that’s true.

Mod H: Like, I’ll admit that. Then, we just sort of did it. Like, we saved the url, after a little bit of haggling over what exactly that would be – I think whatever is our blog description, I think ‘Mischief managed’, mischief something, I can’t remember what it is, like that was gonna be the url for a bit, but then we decided on accio-shitpost, which was a good move.

Mod R: Right.

Mod H: Shitpost managed, that was what-that was what we were gonna-

Mod R: It was gonna be that for a while.

Mod H: I think that was my suggestion, and yours was accio-shitpost, and we went with accio-shitpost. So we compromised on that, and I think that was the better idea. Then, you know, we spent about a day setting up the theme.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: And then we made it live! We just went for it! And the rest, as they say, is history.

Mod R: drearncatcher37.tumblr.com, that’s ‘dreamcatcher’ with an rn as people often do-

Mod H: So it’s like drearncatcher, technically.

Mod R: Yeah, says, ‘I have a question for the podcast. Why.’

Mod H: Good question.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, that’s a good question.

Mod H: Good question.

Mod R: Because we’ve got nothing better to do, and we-okay, that’s a lie, we have so many things better to do, we honestly do. Anonymous said, ‘(You're my favorite blog)’ in brackets, thank-

Mod H: Thank you.

Mod R: sciencekilledmypurrmaids.tumblr.com said-

Mod H: ‘CHEESE?’

Mod R: Cheese. Um, I wanna interpret this as ‘What’s your favourite cheese?’, so – what’s your favourite cheese?

Mod H: I don’t-I don’t have a favourite cheese, I’m not a cheese connoisseur-

Mod R: I like all cheeses.

Mod H: I mostly just have cheddar cheese.

Mod R: Yeah, I mostly just have cheddar cheese.

Mod H: Or like Lancashire cheeses.

Mod R: Oh, yeah, ‘cos you’re from Lanc!

Mod H: I’m from Lancs.

Mod R: You’re a Lancer.

Mod H: That’s not-that’s not what we call it. Also fun fact! Lancashire/Yorkshire is where Neville Longbottom is supposed to be from.

Mod R: Really?

Mod H: Yeah, cos-

Mod R: He’s got-he’s got a northern accent in the movie, doesn’t he?

Mod H: In his hilariously abusive childhood, as well, he mentions getting dropped off Blackpool Pier, so-

Mod R: And of course…Harry mentions…train stations that I’ve been to.

Mod H: I still think that’s so ridiculously redundant, having to go all the way down to King’s Cross and then all the way back up to Scotland.

Mod R: Yeah, like-why don’t you just fucking Floo Powder it, you know?

Mod H: What if you already live in Scotland?

Mod R: Yeah, what does Minerva do?

Mod H: I mean, I assume Minerva just kind of stays there.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: Although I think that is at least partially based on the childhood assumptions that teachers live at school. But in Hogwarts’ case it might actually be true! Anonymous asks, ‘'Tbh I legit expected you guys to be a shitpost account where literally nothing makes sense and it's the most ridiculous thing ever but half the things you post make Sense and ????'

Mod R: Yeah, um-the reason behind this is that anybody – and people have literally made robots to do this – can be like ‘the Marauders Map but it has a big dick’, and like-

Mod H: And we do make posts sometimes like that, that’re just like words and nonsense, but-

Mod R: But like, it loses its charm pretty quickly.

Mod H: Yeah, I-I think part of the reason we’ve had as much staying power as we’ve had is because we don’t actually make-

Mod R: We’re not actually shitposts.

Mod H: We make jokes, we make observations, like some of our posts…

Mod R: It’s observational humour.

Mod H: But some of our posts are just like, things we wanna talk about.

Mod R: What if Dobby had a big dick, you know.

Mod H: And sadposts. I-I do get a lot of joy out of making sadposts, I think most if not all of them have been mine.

Mod R: Yeah, we drain the happiness out of people.

Mod H: I-I enjoy this. I enjoy your suffering. I’m sorry.

Mod R: fangirlsneedmorebooks.tumblr.com says, 'What would you do if you were confronted by a hippogriff/dragon combo?' Poo myself.

Mod H: Probably die.

Mod R: Yeah, like, die. I’m not a wizard, I’m a muggle.

Mod H: Probably get killed by it.

Mod R: Yeah, I would die. fictionale934.tumblr.com said, 'When did you start this blog?'

Mod H: July the 6th.

Mod R: We started with my first post, ‘I name you after the two bravest men who tried to eat me, Aragog Student Loans’

Mod H: That’s still-I’m so glad we picked that one for the first one.

Mod R: And then your first one, which is my favourite one of yours ever.

Mod H: ‘Ah yes. Werewolf Werewolf and his boyfriend, Dog.’

Mod R: 'Other than this blog, what's the biggest way HP has impacted you all?', asks ronweasleywrites.tumblr.com.

Mod H: That’s an interesting question, actually.

Mod R: And also I’m gonna-I’m gonna have a bit of a segue here, people seem to think a lot of people run this blog?

Mod H: Yeah! They seem to think either there’s a lot of people-

Mod R: There’s two and a half.

Mod H: Or like one person. There’s two of us, who are the main-Mod K, who is a friend of mine, who I know in real life, and Roxie only knows from the internet-you’ve met, you’ve met once.

Mod R: The moniker ‘Mod K’ has always pissed me off, because we chose Mod R and Mod H because H and R-so like my first name begins with R, Roxie, and your last name which we’re not gonna say begins with H.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: And also I’m in Ravenclaw, you’re in Hufflepuff. There isn’t a house that begins with a K!

Mod H: I think-that’s, that’s part of the rationale, though, because she’s not a main mod, she doesn’t get a main mod name.

Mod R: That’s true.

Mod H: She’s also a Slytherin, fyi.

Mod R: Is she?

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Well, that makes sense.

Mod H: But um, what’s the biggest way HP has impacted us?

Mod R: Um.

Mod H: You have a good one for this, so I’ll let you go first.

Mod R: So, um, I’m autistic, a lot of you know this. I’m very very involved with autism advocacy and autism rights. I never really found many characters to relate to as a child? And, upon rereading Order of the Phoenix for the first time as an adult-because usually I just read my favourite ones, and Order of the Phoenix isn’t really my favourite book, and it’s quite long, and I’ve got a really bad attention span, so I never get through it. But this one time, I was reading it, and I got to the bit where Luna was first introduced, and just the way she was described was very similar to my experiences as an autistic teenage girl, and I just started crying and crying because for the first time I’ve seen a character who was like me. And I’ve met other people who’ve said the exact same thing about when they saw Luna in Harry Potter. And I think that’s the way it’s impacted me the most apart from, like, my wallet.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Like, I’ve bought a lot of Harry Potter merch.

Mod H: For me, I think, one of the biggest ways Harry Potter impacted me was-when I first came to secondary school…because I am a very nerdy, introverted person, I don’t really-I’m not good at like talking to people and making friends and stuff, and…I can’t remember exactly how it happened, but it definitely helped me bond with Megan. I’ve been friends with her for like ten years plus, now, and that was one of the things that we definitely built our friendship on, being a couple of dorks who really liked Harry Potter a lot, so like that’s a nice thing it’s done for me. sadie-bug82, that’s sadie dash bug 82, asks ‘What’s your favourite book and how many times have you read it?’

Mod R: Fuck if I know.

Mod H: I mean, is this like Harry Potter book?

Mod R: I don’t think it’s Harry Potter book.

Mod H: Or book forever?

Mod R: I’ve definitely listened to – because again, I’ve got a bad attention span – I’ve definitely listened to the audiobook of Philosopher’s Stone, which isn’t my favourite book, like a dozen times maybe. And my favourite book would probably be Prisoner of Azkaban, which I’ve listened to maybe five or six separate times.

Mod H: What about your favourite non-HP book?

Mod R: Fuck if I know, though. I really like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but I haven’t read that in years.

Mod H: I mean, for me, as I’ve already said, Order of the Phoenix is my favourite Harry Potter book. My favourite non-Harry Potter book?

Mod R: The Book Thief.

Mod H: The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak.

Mod R: I knew that one!

Mod H: We talked about it the other day. If you have the time, and access to a copy-

Mod R: Don’t watch the movie.

Mod H: Don’t watch the movie. The movie’s not a good adaptation. Go read the book, because it’s amazing and it changed my life, I swear to God.

Mod R: ‘I have so many questions’ says – what, what?

Mod H: takes-one-to-no-one-cares, with dashes between each word.

Mod R: Ah, right. I get it, I get it. Takes one to no one cares, that’s clever. 'I have so many questions! I'd love to know how y'all’ [in American accent] ‘I’d love to know how y’all met! J’

Mod H: How-how did we meet?

Mod R: Um…

Mod H: Let’s…

Mod R: We’re actually at the place we met.

Mod H: Yeah, this is…

Mod R: Four year anniversary.

Mod H: Four year anniversary, high five.

[High five noise.]

Mod H: We met…in this place, and for those of you who are-

Mod R: I don’t really wanna say what it is, because it’s like a bit personal.

Mod H: Yeah, but for those of you who are not listening in at the window right now, it’s like an event that we went to a couple of times.

Mod R: Yeah, it’s like-it’s not like a convention or anything, it’s nothing embarrassing, it’s just a bit personal.

Mod H: Yeah, we’d just rather not go into it.

Mod R: We met, because, um, a girl who I’d met the year before, who I was in a relationship with for a year, she’d just broken up with me, because she didn’t feel it was right, and I was like ‘yeah that’s fair’, but I was still very sad about it, you know, and I saw somebody with a Homestuck t-shirt across the room.

Mod H: And that person…was Albert Einstein. Funnily enough that was actually the second time that had happened within like ten minutes, cos – this is the way I tell the story – I was just kinda hanging round waiting for the thing we were at to start and two girls came over to me like ‘hey, I like your t-shirt’, you know, ‘is that a Homestuck thing?’ and we got chatting, and that wasn’t Roxie, and then another couple came along and that was Roxie, and we have been talking ever since, basically.

Mod R: We had a pun-off.

Mod H: We had a pun-off, that cemented our relationship. I have a vivid memory of sitting in a restaurant with my family, texting you bad puns under the table.

Mod R: 'Hope I'm not being annoying & clogging up your asks' You're not, anonymous. 'But what are your opinions on the drama of OoTP with Molly and Sirius duking it out on 'Who is the Less Problematic Replacement Parent for Harry?' Got those receipts. ‘I'm personally on Team Molly Needs To Chill, but my friends are on Team Sirius Is Literally A Criminal Who Thinks Harry Is James.' Okay so, the criminal bit isn’t so bad because, by definition, Molly is also a criminal.

Mod H: Also like Sirius was imprisoned for a crime he literally did not commit, like we know this as a fact.

Mod R: Molly is married to somebody who was infiltrating the government. That’s a fact. And she has children who are infiltrating the government-

Mod H: She was also, herself, involved in a resistance movement against the government, like, they’re criminals the same.

Mod R: And like even before Deathly Hallows this is the case.

Mod H: Yeah, yeah.

Mod R: But the issue is Sirius does think Harry is James. The problem with their relationship is both Harry and Sirius are using each other as a replacement for James.

Mod H: Yeah, absolutely. And like in that situation, Sirius cannot encourage Harry to be like James. Sirius shouldn’t encourage Harry to be reckless, because he in some-because he is in some genuinely dangerous situations.

Mod R: And don’t get me wrong-not only, when we’re saying James we don’t just mean Dad James, as a replacement for Dad James, we mean as a replacement of the cool lad James that Harry would have wanted to be friends with.

Mod H: Because like-

Mod R: However, right, Harry is using Molly as a replacement for Lily, or James, like gender doesn’t matter I guess-

Mod H: Generally parents.

Mod R: Here’s the thing – Molly isn’t using Harry as a replacement for a dead child or Percy or anything, even though Percy does leave, she’s just a mum, and she feels-she has a profound motherhood for Harry.

Mod H: I mean, I think my personal opinion lies somewhere between the two because like-

Mod R: Oh sure.

Mod H: All of the things we’ve said, but in the context of that specific scene, Molly was withholding information from Harry that was relevant to him, and it’s not like that’s ever been a problem in Harry’s past before, am I right?

Mod R: And Molly’s done some shitty things before to Hermione, in er Goblet of Fire-

Mod H: Personally I really like that scene, just for showing like the depth of Molly.

Mod R: Everyone sins, yeah, she’s a very deeply written character.

Mod H: None of these people are perfect, like her heart’s in the right place, she’s just sometimes overprotective.

Mod R: And same for Sirius! But-

Mod H: The other way.

Mod R: Even that, but-he’s missing out on this context of Harry’s life, and Molly said this, like this obviously isn’t Sirius’ fault but, and the ways she said it kind of implied that it was, but Molly saw the later years of Harry’s life. Sirius was introduced very late into Harry’s life.

Mod H: Sirius has known Harry for two years at this point, Molly’s known him since basically the start of when we first see him, at age 11.

Mod R: Like, as far as the wizarding world is concerned, yeah.

Mod H: And that does make a difference, and that’s not Sirius’ fault obviously.

Mod R: And of course Sirius has technically known Harry longer, but it’s not the same.

Mod H: I also think the problem, as well, is that Sirius is still in that mindset he was in when he was like twenty one. Because he’s lost all of these years to Azkaban and he basically comes out and there’s James 2.0. So naturally he goes back to the way he was acting.

Mod R: Like he comes out and there’s this kid who looks exactly like the boy who died, his best friend who died, and probably the man he loved who died. Give me that story instead of Snape loving Lily, by the way, give me that!

Mod H: JK Rowling! But yeah.

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: But thanks for that question, anon, because that was really interesting to talk about.

Mod R: Now, here’s a question responding to one of our posts, anonymous asked, ‘But was there anything specifically saying Voldemort /wasn't/ wearing a party hat?’ Uh…

Mod H: Technically no.

Mod R: There probably is actually.

Mod H: Yeah. ‘The light glimmered off his shiny bald head’.

Mod R: Yeah, exactly, lines like that, and also he can’t wear it under Quirrell’s turban.

Mod H: Oh. What if Quirrell was wearing a party hat, like at Christmas?

Mod R: Well it wouldn’t be a party hat, it’d be a Christmas hat.

Mod H: Okay. Like, Dumbledore’s birthday party-

Mod R: Also, bringing in some very very-

Mod H: Oh, here we go.

Mod R: Minute lore of Harry Potter – they don’t have Christmas cracker crowns in the wizarding world-

Mod H: That’s true, that’s true.

Mod R: They have regular hats that come out of crackers. And actual mice and stuff, and explosions.

Mod H: But they could’ve-I really wish they’d brought that in the movies, to be honest.

Mod R: Oh, fuuuuuuuck.

Mod H: That scene would’ve been so good.

Mod R: So goooood! antifacistmutsuki says, 'what are yall hogwarts and ilvermorny houses and wands' Hogwarts are Ravenclaw.

Mod H: And Hufflepuff.

Mod R: And Ilvermorny, fuck off I don’t care.

Mod H: I remember I got the Hufflepuff of Ilvermorny.

Mod R: I was like-I was really interested and then I saw the name and was like, I don’t care anymore. Thunderbird, that’s what I remember.

Mod H: I can’t remember my wand. I think mine was laurel?

Mod R: kimpossibleandme said 'Can I become a mod on here?' No. Sorry. We don’t take admissions. We don’t take submissions-we don’t even take submissions, you can’t be a moderator.

Mod H: We’ve made it a policy from the start that we only post posts that we make ourselves, or sometimes that our close personal friends do. It’s not really-it’s not anything against you.

Mod R: And when we say close personal friends, we’re not even saying favouritism, it’s like someone’s come up to us and said ‘hey, here’s a thing’ and then we’re like ‘can I use that as a shitpost’.

Mod H: Yeah, often that is the case, or like we’re talking about it or something like that.

Mod R: So no, you can’t be a mod on here. Sorry. Uh. Anonymous said, ‘I like my gilrs’ not girls, gilrs ‘how I like my Dumbledore. Headmasters.' Okay! Let’s leave.

Mod H: Let’s leave.

Mod R: I didn’t need to know that. Um, ihazgiantcheezburga.tumblr.com, that’s haz with a z, cheez c-h-e-e-z, b-u-r-g-a, ‘Draco Malfoy was a Mary Sue.’ No he wasn’t.

Mod H: No, not really.

Mod R: That’s like, done.

Mod H: Not at all, actually.

Mod R: Here’s your Harry Potter advice segment! ‘Draco Malfoy was a Mary Sue’ No, he wasn’t.

Mod H: No.

Mod R: He had many character flaws. He was incredibly rich…Harry Potter was a Mary Sue, absolutely.

Mod H: I mean, the concept of a Mary Sue-

Mod R: Is bullshit, it was just misogyny, wasn’t it. It was just, here’s a female character that I don’t like because she’s got so many-

Mod H: Well, no.

Mod R: People say that about Rey from Star Wars, and what they mean is that she’s as good at the Force as Luke was.

Mod H: The-the original meaning of Mary Sue though was a fanfic character who was impossibly perfect and probably dating Captain Kirk, or whatever.

Mod R: Me too.

Mod H: And that slowly just sort of became a character who I think is too perfect regardless fo anything-

Mod R: Well, Harry is a bit too perfect, he’s got a lot of character-

Mod H: He’s got a lot of flaws, like-

Mod R: He’s got a lot of those things that people in fanfics give them, like you don’t even need to give Harry an immense fortune for your, like, Bastard King fic, because he’s already got that, you know, he’s already got-

Mod H: Where he’s a secret Pureblood king, well…

Mod R: pixycaterino says, ‘Have y’all’ [bad American accent] ‘Have yall ever cosplayed? oh anD WHAT ARE YOUR WANDS’ We can’t do the wands one. I don’t know!

Mod H: We…yeah.

Mod R: Like, everyone’s like ‘what are your wands’, it’s not a question like ‘what’s your MBTI type’ or ‘what house are you in’.

Mod H: ‘What sign are you.’

Mod R: Or like ‘What’s your God Tier’ in Homestuck, or like what Pokemon Go team you’re on. It’s not like that, it’s like what piece of fucking wood do you use to cast magic, oh wait you don’t because you’re not a fucking wizard and you don’t have one of those. Like, Houses are sorted into-like, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry to whoever asked this, I’m not angry at you, I promise. But like people ask this question, and I don’t get it because there isn’t any like basis – there might be, like, subtext but there is no basis like personality and intellectual traits on what kind of wand you get. There isn’t houses-so like, if you’re very loyal, chances are you’re a Hufflepuff, if you’re very friendly, you���re loyal, you stick true to your friends, you’re probably a Hufflepuff.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: If you’re very brave, you’re courageous, you like justice a lot then you’re probably a Gryffindor. If you think things through, and you might not be smart but you’re like, you spend a lot of time thinking about things-

Mod H: Not like intellectual but you’re like wise, logical.

Mod R: Yeah, like you think things through, or you place a lot of emphasis on waiting things out then you’re probably a Ravenclaw, and if you’re ambitious, and like maybe you put the team before the person, then maybe you’re a Slytherin, you know.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: But for wands it’s just like ‘oh like I’m good at Transfiguration’.

Mod H: Like me and my friend both did the wand test, and we got almost identical results because we’re about the same height, age…

Mod R: Yeah, exactly.

Mod H: Physical appearance…it is pretty much a randomly generated thing, it’s not like deeply based. Like you could argue that the Hogwarts house quiz is based on actual stuff, but-

Mod R: I’m sure there’s some subtext to what wands characters get, like red wood means something in-

Mod H: Well are in characters, but the thing is like if you use the Pottermore-

Mod R: In the movies, in the movies, Dumbledore-uh, Voldemort’s looks like its bone. And of course that’s because he’s a deadly character, he’s very spooky, but like I don’t have that, I’m not an important character in the Harry Potter universe.

Mod H: Yeah, that’s the movie characters.

Mod R: I don’t have an arc.

Mod H: Like, the Pottermore wand test is just-

Mod R: How tall are you, what hand do you use, how many fingers do you have on your right foot.

Mod H: What?

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: As to the other, ‘have y’all ever cosplayed’…

Mod R: Yeah.

Mod H: Yes. We have.

Mod R: I’ve cosplayed as…I mean, I wore Ravenclaw robes last time I went to a convention. Other than that, I’ve cosplayed Chell from Portal, Roxie Lalonde…who have you cosplayed?

Mod H: I’ve cosplayed Jane Crocker from Homestuck.

Mod R: That was by accident, wasn’t it?

Mod H: No, I did it deliberately once. Booker DeWitt from Bioshock-

Mod R: That was good.

Mod H: And Doctor Linksano from Atop the Fourth Wall, which-

Mod R: Yeah, well that’s awful, that’s awful.

Mod H: For anyone in our audience who knows what that is…

Mod R: Hit me up.

Mod H: Hit me up. Cos, guys. Guys.

Mod R: brighterthantherain said 'I'd love to see some the MBTI types as x posts' Well, here’s the thing. No?

Mod H: No.

Mod R: Like, I’m sorry, we don’t mean to be rude.

Mod H: That takes a lot of work, that’s the only thing as well.

Mod R: If we sound rude, we’re just trying to be funny, and honestly we’re sorry if we offend people. Um, but like, it takes a lot of work-I don’t really understand all of the MTBI types.

Mod H: No.

Mod R: And also people are more likely to call you out for that kind of thing?

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: People will be like ‘oh you don’t understand the MBTI things’ like no I don’t! I didn’t major in Psychology!

Mod H: Like, that would take a lot of time and effort and dedication just for one post, which we don’t currently have, or-and we definitely don’t have the motivation to do all that research.

Mod R: ‘Surprise beautiful person!’ says anonymous. ‘Once you get this, you must put it into at least 8 people’s asks (anonymously) who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing bad will happen, but it’s nice to know that someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. Help spread anon love, not hate! Love you. <3’ Thank you! We appreciate these-we never pass them on.

Mod H: We don’t pass them on.

Mod R: I never pass on these.

Mod H: Yeah, my days of passing on stuff like this are long gone.

Mod R: I’ve never done them.

Mod H: I did a while back.

Mod R: Nuh uh. Um, this is an interesting question, anonymous said – and they’re asking this as if we’re some like, we’re the figurehead of Harry Potter, which is really nice.

Mod H: Like we have any say in it.

Mod R: We’re JK Rowling. Anonymous said, ‘Idk if you can answer this but, can exist a three headed dog's patronus?’ Yes, probably.

Mod H: Probably.

Mod R: Somebody-I read on the wiki somewhere that somebody I know historically had a giant as their patronus.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: So like, a three headed dog isn’t that unlikely. Like, wolves can be. A werewolf can be.

Mod H: Like, a three headed dog is a creature in the Harry Potter universe.

Mod R: Anonymous said, ‘are you a feminist?’ Actually, I hate women. I fucking hate them. No, we’re feminists, yeah.

Mod H: Yeah, I-I think we’d identify that way.

Mod R: Pretty much. If anything I wouldn’t want-the only reason I wouldn’t want to identify as the label ‘feminist’ is because we have some views so far left wing that even feminists often disagree with them. And that’s a particular thing, like because I’m a trans woman, there’s a whole huge sect of feminists – and I’m not generalising – there is a huge group of feminists who exclude trans women called trans exclusionary feminists, there’s a bunch of transmisogynistic feminists who think trans women don’t deserve a place in feminism or anywhere belonging to women. Which is one of the only reasons we wouldn’t want to label ourselves feminists. But if someone was like ‘oh feminism’s about this, like, only these kind of people can be feminists’, I’d be like, ‘I’m a feminist and that’s wrong.’ Like I use that label sparingly, but when I need it. And I don’t not use it because I’m embarrassed, because I tote my beliefs strongly.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: freaki, with an I as in f-r-e-a-k-i, freakithechaos said ‘uh.. hello! *waves awkwardly*’ That’s cute. ‘uhm.. I'm not sure if this was discussed already but, why doesn't Umbridge love McGonagall? I mean, Umbridge LOVES cats and McGonagall's animagus is a cat ... so she basically IS a cat, isn't she? o.o’

Mod H: I mean, that’s not quite how that works.

Mod R: That’s not really how that works.

Mod H: I mean, cos Umbridge represents all McGonagall hates-

Mod R: Because Umbridge isn’t just a furry!

Mod H: And vice versa.

Mod R: McGonagall’s meant to be Umbridge’s foil, she was portrayed as that.

Mod H: Or, well, the other way round, because Umbridge was introduced later, but you know.

Mod R: Well, like, I mean, as the villain.

Mod H: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Mod R: Like, Dumbledore is not Umbridge’s foil – I think narratively, that’s one of the reasons they get Dumbledore out of the picture?

Mod H: Umbridge is basically evil mirrorverse McGonagall, like-

Mod R: Yeah, yeah.

Mod H: McGonagall gone completely wrong.

Mod R: And this is literally true in the Cursed Child, like, Cursed Child spoilers coming up here.

Mod H: That is quite interesting.

Mod R: In Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Minerva McGonagall is the headmistress of Hogwarts, but in – again, spoilers coming up so like skip forward – but in the alternate universe, Umbridge is the headmistress, and she is, like, she has very little regard for but great interest in Scorpius, whilst the opposite is true for McGonagall, where she actually goes out of her way to not be interested in order to maintain Albus and Scorpius’ relationship, mainly because she’s seen generations of Potters falling in love and not getting their way. Um, anonymous said, ‘I always see yall’ [American accent] ‘using ur powers of being a popular blog with lots of followers’ I always do that with y’all, by the way, I’m not just doing that for a random reason, ‘and high visibility for good. thanks A+ keep up the good work’

Mod H: Thank you!

Mod R: Thank you, we really appreciate it.

Mod H: We were a bit iffy at first, about like starting to post more politics and signal boosts and donations and stuff, initially at least, but we basically decided that we’ve got a lot of followers, we can’t really not. We’ve got an obligation to, in this political climate.

Mod R: Another thing is – we get a lot of questions like this a lot, and we don’t answer them, and it’s not because we don’t like them. We love them.

Mod H: Yeah. They fuel us!

Mod R: Yeah. One, we don’t want to tote how great people we are. It’s quite narcissistic to be like-cos we get plenty of people who are like ‘fuck you’ as well.

Mod H: Yeah.

Mod R: Like, it’s not often, but there are people, but like whatever, you’re you, I don’t care. But like one, we don’t want to clog it up with that. Two, we want to keep relatively interesting asks being put out, compared to like ‘ah you’re great!’ ‘ah you’re great!’, again which is a bit narcissistic.

Mod H: Usually, the asks we answer are like admin-related, like we’re introducing a new tag or whatever, or interesting questions, or occasionally like funny things that pique our interest.

Mod R: Yeah, and um the third reason is, um, we like looking at them!

Mod H: Yeah!

Mod R: Like, our inbox doesn’t fill that fast, we don’t get dozens of asks a day, we get a couple-

Mod H: We get a fair amount a week, I’d say.

Mod R: We get five a week at least.

Mod H: Yeah, about that, on average.

Mod R: But-but when stuff happens, we get dozens.

Mod H: Yeah, when we ask for asks or when it’s obvious that we’re answering them we get quite a few.

Mod R: Yeah, yeah, so like we like seeing them! So when we refresh our inbox, if there’s nothing new in there, we get to see that one again and that’s nice. 'Someday,' says anonymous, 'I would like to know who's ran this blog and their personal tumblrs.' Too bad.

Mod H: We’re telling you nothing about us!

Mod R: I might eventually reveal mine, Mod H is not so keen.

Mod H: I don’t really wanna reveal my personal tumblr just cos, like-some people who follow me can probably guess because I make it quite obvious on my personal. But there’s about like five people I actually know on there.

Mod R: Mine’s pretty easy to work out, if you’ve got all the clues, which-all the clues are on the blog, if you go back far enough and look through all the tags…

Mod H: I think if you specifically went sleuthing through the blog to find out who we were, you probably could find that, with a bit of-

Mod R: And probably like, our close friends as well, from the beginning.

Mod H: Yeah, like our close friends and people we know.

Mod R: Luckily, a lot of the first posts – this wasn’t an intentional effort, but we’ve reblogged them in events and stuff, ‘hey look here’s our first post’ and we’ve washed out all the original reblogs which would have been to ours and our friend’s blogs, to promote the blog. Anonymous said ‘ALEXANDER HAMILTON!’ I don’t understand that.

Mod H: I probably made-I’m the one who’s seen Hamilton – well not seen it, I’ve listened to it.

Mod R: You’re going to see it.

Mod H: I’m going to see it!

Mod R: Lucky shit.

Mod H: I’m quite excited about that! I got really lucky with that.

Mod R: Okay, so, anonymous said ‘They do. It’s called Hogsmeade.’ So, like, I’m sure this was a response to a post, but here’s the thing – we don’t know what post this was a response to because we make ten a day.

Mod H: And by the time your ask has come in, it’s like a day later at least.

Mod R: From context of another ask, I think it’s–did we have a Starbucks, that Starbucks hasn’t opened a-

Mod H: Possibly. It might have been something along those lines, I can’t remember. I know that is a specific one, but I can’t remember what it was.

Mod R: Because someone asked us another one about magical instant coffee. Shout out to you, authoraiya. 'Which ships do u ship? like either canon or noncanon xx' Uh, all of them.

Mod H: Well, not all of them.

Mod R: Scorbus, sort of, but like also I don’t like shipping kids. Like I wish that they would-

Mod H: In a very-

Mod R: Have gotten together. I wish that Credence would have gotten a boyfriend. Because I think he was coded gay in Fantastic Beasts.

Mod H: I mean for me, erm, I don’t really ship generally. I ship Wolfstar kind of, Scorbus kind of-

Mod R: Wolfstar-well, I think I ship Wolfstar, a lot.

Mod H: Ginny and Luna.

Mod R: So that’s all the asks that we got, and a couple more.

Mod H: And a few more that we found from the archive.

Mod R: I’m gonna, just like the McElroys, I’m gonna leave you with another ask. Anonymous says, ‘What’s with y’all and micropigs though?’

Mod H: And with that, we’re out.

[rithsu-chan]

DAYS is now a new favorite and Tsukushi is such a cinammon roll don't me

One of my friends introduced DAYS to me when it was exam week and I honestly cannot thank her more for doing so.

This freaking anime is just so refreshing and wonderful and gaaahh, I just love it so much.

And so we have our main protagonist, Tsukamoto Tsukushi, unbelievably unathletic, completely uncoordinated, but healthily sincere and dedicated, and inconsistently honest and straightforward.

His encounter with Kazama is what changed the course of his whole life thus far, and really, it’s amazing to see how a spur-of-the-moment decision affects your life greatly, as seen when Kazama asked Tsukushi of all people to play soccer with him for no apparent reason except he was there.

What I like about this is that it’s obvious that Kazama and Tsukushi come in a pair, yet the anime doesn’t focus on just that. The anime explores the main protagonist’s relationships with almost all of the people around him, and even the relationships outside of that. Unlike in KnB wherein Kuroko and Kagami are almost always seen together, even amongst the Seirin members, and in YOI where Yuuri is obviously close with other figure skaters but is usually seen talking about and/or interacting with Victor, Tsukushi is seen in the different stages of his development interacting with varying characters, and yet it is still apparent that he and Kazama hold a special bond.

Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love KnB and YOI with all my heart and soul, but I honestly feel that Kuroko’s and Yuuri’s relationships with the other people around them aren’t expounded enough, left in the dust by the relationship they share with the person they’re most often shipped with.

Probably, those relationships were developed off screen, but in DAYS, Tsukushi’s relationships with a lot of other people are developed on screen. Like, we can see that Tsukushi and Mizuki are… I honestly don’t know, but there’s just something between them, and we know that because we saw the two of them practicing kicks together, and we saw Mizuki specifically giving Tsukushi a message in the middle of one of their games, as well as Tsukushi’s promise (“We’ll win. I promise you, we’ll win!”) to Mizuki when the three arrows of Seiseki weren’t able to play. And then there’s Kimishita and Ooshiba, who probably hold a grudging respect towards Tsukushi but don’t explicitly express it (repairing the cleats + headbuts); Usui, who looks out for him as a senpai and was starting to envision Tsukushi as the captain (tHAT TRANSITION FROM TSUKUSHI TO MIZUKI IN THE ANIMATION THO DJDKDLFHF); Ubukata, who encourages Tsukushi and makes him see the truth (tho she does that to everyone in Seiseki, actually – also, I THINK she kinda… sorta.. maybe, low-key likes (???) Tsukushi?????); Kurusu, Nitobe, and Shiratori, who genuinely consider him a friend (that time in the festival + when they join him for extra practice); and– and– just, I could honestly list some more but I am honestly getting tired of typing on my phone right now.

And you see, these were all shown on screen and that makes it so much easier for me to ship him with characters apart from Kazama because the moments are there, the moments are existing, and it’s all so natural that I could just cry aaaaa.

I’m pretty sure that I could ship him with a lot of characters, just like how I ship Kuroko with basically everyone in KnB, but then this might be worse (or better, depends on how you look at it) because there are legit proof of the bases of their relationships and I just- asdfghjklbckdkf.

[ P.S. I’m the kind of person that ships the MC with everyone if I can, and currently, the MC x everyone ships I have are: Kuroko (KnB) Hinata (HQ) Tsuna (KHR) Yuuri (YOI) Natsume (NatsuYuu) and the most recent, Tsukushi

I also have MC x almost-everyone-of-the-same-gender, which are: Natsu (FT) Ichigo (Bleach) Rin (AoEx) Eren (SnK)

And, also, I just noticed now: MC x everyone: mellow/smol characters MC x almost-everyone-of-the-same-gender: intense characters

:0 ]

…I’m sorry this became so long.

[fisukisuki]

People always thought Chris at least had a crush on Victor because how he look up on him. But WHAT IF his actual crush is not and never toward Victor, but a certain Male Ice Dancer?

Because how close Chris and Victor are, and Chris did admit to media before that he (and almost every skaters) look up on Victor, even the Fans/Fandom in YoI Figure Skating Universe think they at least have a thing going on between them. Even when Victor dating someone, they still think so.

Of course when Chris and Victor find out about it, they can’t help but laugh. Especially because they are good friend, even before Chris told him, he noticed that Chris keep looking at that one certain Male Ice Dancer who is also his rinkmate and train under the same coach, with fondness and dare he says “love”. Chris told him one day when they drink together that he had been crushing on the Ice Dancer since the first year they met. When he was only 13 and the Ice Dancer was 17. But because the Ice Dancer is far older than him that Chris find it hard to make him fall for him even when he’s already 18 and finally allowed to skate Eros by his coach and secretly think of the Ice Dancer.

Chris finally date him right on his birthday aka Valentine Day when he reach his 21th birthday. And that’s because an unfortunate event become blessing in disguise. A year ago before his 21th birthday the Ice Dancer had just broken up with his lover right two days before Valentine. When Chris trying to comfort him the day after, and it had worked, but left bitter taste to him. The one who he had been crushing since forever had just said that Chris was like a nice little brother to him. So broken heart he goes drink with Victor who happen to visit him for his birthday (because he had nothing to do expect training for World and just break up from his another fast lover like a month ago and rather than going to spend Valentine alone). He get do drunk that he need Victor’s help to even stand up. And because of how close they were by helping and helped, from someone’s stand point of view they happen to look like they were kissing. And that someone happen to be a fans and took a picture of them and put it on internet with hastags “OMG Vichris/Christor is Canon!!!” and explode the internet.

If that was on the usual day, Victor and Chris would just laughed and joke about it and even trying to oiled it more with pictures of them together or innuendo on public conversation where fans could see. But since it wasn’t on unusual day, Chris get more depressed especially when ‘He’ congratulate him about it.

Things happen after that. Chris angry at him and avoid him for months and made the Ice Dancer so confused because they were usually close. Their rinkmates was confused too. Victor trying to tell the fans in the nicest way that while the picture was real, it wasn’t what it 'looks like’. Half the shippers agreed with him because it’s not like the picture really show them kissing or lips meet lips thing. But other half still rather persistent and said Victor just didn’t want to admit that he’s in relationship with a rival skater. Since Victor’s past lovers that had the media caught has never been a skaters so far.

Chris get drunk again but he was alone until a bartender ask him nicely if he could borrow his phone to call someone who can help him to go home. Chris’ coach who answers the call order the Ice Dancer to pick him. Too drunk and too upset Chris let out the truths. The next day he confront him if what he said was true. Chris finally confess. And then everything gets better after that. They get more closer especially since he was not rejected and his feeling is being considered. Months later Chris’ next birthday came. The Ice Dancer come to him in the morning with flowers and finally ask him if they could try. Chris would deny it later, but he almost can’t stop his tears when (finally. Finally!!!) his love is being accepted. Chris never tell the media though, because he know that his now boyfriend is quite private person. If people ask if they are lover, no one going to deny it. But when fans ask if fans ask if he has a lover, Chris would just wink at them and humming.

The rumor between Chris and Victor calmed down a bit when someone caught Victor have lunch with a cute red hair male who won gold with his partner at Pair Skating (the internet explode because apparently even when Victor had said mentioned rather clearly that he like people with no gender based, people had never seen him with another male alone with romantic setting or something that show them like 'together together’), on Valentine day. And the media caught Victor kissing (or more like being kissed) by another male on the new year under the streetlight. But what make the media more sure that Victor is a Playboy was when some fans happen to sneak inside the hotel building that had been rent by sponsor for the skaters, their coach and family for a big Ice Show in the middle of May, happen to take a pictures and short video where a women happen to came out from a hotel room with Victor, and there was an obvious hickey, bite mark, even nail scratches on his skin that shown by his unbuttoned dress shirt. Not just internet, even reporters and paparazzis were hunting him about it.

Years passed. People outside of the figure skating world still oblivious about Chris’ boyfriend. Chris were fine with that even when people still ship him with Victor or thinking that they probably doing friend with benefit thing. Until Yuuri came to Victor’s life and almost break the internet by the even in the Cup of China, fanfiction and fanart are thrown everywhere and damn if Chris is not envy that Victor can read cute story about his love life but he can’t because none of his fans know his real love life. And being understanding about it, Chris’ boyfriend finally agree to sit with him on the Kiss and Cry at the GPF in Barcelona and let him took a picture of them kissing at the Banquet to post it on Internet. Almost every Chris’ fans who were sad that Vichris/Christor was not real because Victuuri conquer the world (lol) was suddenly cry in tears of relief and happiness that Chris actually were never broken heart by Victor’s feeling toward Yuuri and surprised when Chris mentioned that had love and dating his boyfriend much longer than Victor love toward Yuuri. (And people only find out about Yuuri’s long crush toward Victor when they were interviewed after the World)

[rainbowravioli]

hi again, yes about the interview in particular and if you have new thoughts on S2 (because i know you already wrote some predictions and problems that could occur) that would be great!!

Alright then.

So this trainwreck of an interview. This was a wild ride. Just when you think there is no possible way to be more disappointed with the YOI staff, we get this. After this interview, Yuri on Ice can’t claim praise over representation. It can’t.

I’m going to cover the points that I found more…distressing, let’s say. If there’s anything I don’t touch upon that people want me to comment on specifically, feel free to send me an ask. All the bolding in the quotes will be my doing for emphasis of certain points.

Let’s start with this really, really worrisome thing:

Regarding Yuuri and Victor’s scene after the FS, I was fine with it being interpreted in any way. However this is the part that had more response from overseas, I was even directly asked “which one it was”. And then I heard from Japanese people too that some had an argument with their friends over whether they kissed or not, or they just hugged. I was surprised that people would want to know the truth. Up until then I had always thought that people wanted to be able to interpret fiction how they preferred. But seeing the reactions that this episode received, I realized that even if it’s fiction, inside people’s mind this series exists as a world of its own and so they believe that there must be a correct truth, an exact answer somewhere.

First of all let me say that I am very glad there’s finally been mention of the Japanese fandom asking about the kiss or hug thing because I was getting very tired of the whole “lol silly westerners~” thing. That said…how is she surprised that people want to know? If she’s writing this story about two male characters being in a romantic relationship, especially amidst the sea of fanservice bait and toxic yaoi bs, people are going to want confirmation that these two characters did kiss! Mind you, I am team “it was a kiss” and have been since the episode aired, but it’s highly irresponsible of Kubo to just adopt this nonchalant attitude of “I’m fine with any interpretation.” She shouldn’t be fine! This to me says that she was never actually concerned at all with giving anyone representation. 

Victor is asked whether he would like to fight Yuuri as an athlete, but he really doesn’t think that. Actually many people were expecting to see Victor and Yuuri confront each other in a match eventually, however Yuuri is also “trying to win to prove Victor’s skating”. The director and I shared this same opinion when we wrote the series.

Yeah this one is just here for me to go, thanks for the further evidence that Victor was originally meant to retire! Miss me with that “Yuuri skates for Victor” thing though, Yuuri deserves better than that. 

Yurio’s FS is still incomplete, but I wanted to show how he was able to obtain a new strength and elegance thanks to the presence of Lilia, Yakov, his grandpa and JJ as a rival. I also depicted his aggressive side when he changes the composition of the program to win, and the fact that he still isn’t able to win against JJ, which is another trial that he needs to overcome.

This is here as an example of what I mean when I say that an author’s intentions are all well and good but the work needs to speak for itself. In this case, JJ was never a trial for Yurio to overcome. He was set up as such, but Yurio never actually had to win against him because JJ ended up self-destructing in the end.

In a meeting with the director I asked her a very basic question: “Why does Yuuri want to win?”, and she replied “Well, he has never won a gold medal so far, of course he wants to win!”. I thought that made sense. Yuuri, who has never won an international competition, wants to win a gold medal before retiring. The “origin” of his desire to win is in fact pretty simple. He has been able to work hard so far because he wants to win a gold medal and is confident that he is good enough to succeed. I inserted that monologue because, even though Yuuri might look weak, he actually has been fighting the whole time.

First of all WHAT? You’re the main writer of the series! You should know your main character’s motivations! How do you not know? How could you have been writing him without knowing it? That’s basic character building! Second of all, she apparently doesn’t know her own characters at all. Because Yuuri Katsuki is not confident! This is a character trait AND a plot point, that’s repeatedly mentioned by other characters and by Yuuri himself! W H A T?!

I was told that the words “please take care of me until I retire” are actually something that real skaters say when they ask someone to be their coach. When I heard that, I thought that this was the perfect timing for Yuuri to tell Victor. At this time, Victor doesn’t take these words in the sense Yuuri really means, which is “until the end of this season”. He left Yuuri fighting alone in a tournament, so I think he was very torn about whether he should apologize and about what he should tell him when they met again. But then Yuuri told him “until I retire”, and I think Victor was probably really happy because it meant that Yuuri still needed him even when he was far away. Victor didn’t think that Yuuri would retire after the end of the GP Final, and he didn’t clearly decide until when he would continue being Yuuri’s coach, therefore I believe that he was happy to hear Yuuri’s feelings, to know that Yuuri too wanted him to be his coach until the end.

Absolutely no mention of Yuuri and Victor’s relationship being anything beyond that of coach and athlete, absolutely no mention of “that sounds like a marriage proposal”. 

What Yuuri bought is pair rings. When I looked it up I found out that buying a pair was cheaper (LOL), and I also thought that if they were going to wear something matching this would be good. There are actually many real skaters who wear accessories as “omamori”, protective charms. More importantly, Yuuri has been giving Victor fresh surprises until now, and I wanted him to get a new item, a weapon to fight in the final match. When I suggested the rings to the director she was like “Yes, that!!” (LOL). We were like, “yeah, a cornered athlete would do something like that!” More than implicating something like a wedding, it’s similar to members of the same circle deciding to have a matching item.

I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING GUYS! LAUGHING AND CRYING!

Platonic! Wedding rings!

But wait wait! It gets worse! Because we have this to top it off!

Victor is surprised by Yuuri’s action but understands him, so he makes a wish upon the ring telling him “show me the skating that you like the most”. In the China tournament he said things as if he was testing Yuuri, he “broke” his heart, so here he finally vows to the ring that “he will completely trust what Yuuri decides” and is determined to do what he can as a coach.

That entire scene was a platonic scene between coach and athlete, it’s what this is saying. It was never meant to be a proposal on Yuuri’s part! So there actually was no canon Victuuri proposal. Victor announcing they are engaged is not a proposal, it’s an announcement. One that Yuuri doesn’t even confirm. And then it’s never brought up again. ARE THEY EVEN ENGAGED?!

Platonic wedding rings! How do you pick wedding rings as a platonic symbol for your characters to share?! Remember how people joked about the rings being platonic because people still didn’t see Victuuri as canon? Those ‘just a bro buying wedding rings to another bro’ things? Well Kubo says they are platonic! Canonically platonic wedding rings! This is even better than #trancendental 

There’s also a moment where Yurio thought Victor was smirking looking at the ring. Like Yurio says in this scene, people tend to believe that athletes “die as competitors” when they stop and “become stable”. But I think that Victor, more than anyone else, is sensitive to this topic and is worried that people will say that about him, or that he will actually become like that. In this scene Victor wasn’t smirking, he was starting to think about his future.

Pray for Victor’s lost characterization. He’s truly dead.

Yuuri makes an attempt at adding a quadruple flip in his SP, but actually in the beginning I wasn’t planning to have him jump so many quads. The increasing level of real life competitions prompted me to add a realistic feeling by showing how you can’t win if you don’t have multiple quads in your programs. The reason Victor jumps a quad flip together with Yuuri during his performance is, more than something he does as a coach, something that comes from his feelings as an athlete.

The flip means absolutely nothing for how Victor feels about Yuuri. Nothing.

The reason Yurio could pull off his best performance is that many elements like his experience and the environment surrounding him all blended together perfectly right at this time. From an external point of view young and strong athletes somehow tend to look like they are “destined to win”, like they are performing a program prepared to win. However, every single second of their performance is the result of their efforts. I wanted to show this with Yurio’s SP.

Gonna quote @soobaki on this one “maybe bc theyre literally always the protag in every other series and yoi was supposed to subvert that but then didn”. If you wanted Yurio to be the protagonist so badly, you should have just made him the protagonist from the get-go. 

When Victor is watching Yurio’s performance we cannot see his expression because I myself haven’t decided what the truth is, like whether he is frustrated because Yurio beat his record, or he wants to surpass him again, or what else.

Lady. LADY! L A D Y!!! You! Are! The! Writer! If you don’t know, who knows???

In the end I’m really portraying every character thinking that I want them to win, and especially in JJ’s case, he has a power that makes you want him to win.

JJ won bronze because author favoritism. There. It’s explained now. Honestly, read the way she talks about JJ in the entire interview. At this point I’m sure she likes him more than Yuuri. Hell, at this point I don’t think she likes Yuuri that much.

I could touch upon every single point of episode 12 believe me, but here’s my top offenders.

What Victor told Yuuri right before he starts is performance, more than something that he really thinks deep down, is what he came up with when thinking about what could encourage Yuuri Katsuki the most, so basically it’s “Victor playing the role of Victor as Yuuri expects him”.

……………….

I have no words.

No, wait, I have many words. Starting with, what the hell? So…I really dislike that scene. I think I made my feelings for that scene obvious. This just makes that scene worst. So Yuuri tells Victor to be true to himself and Victor…acts. He’s not being sincere. Victor goes back to playing a role, the role he thinks Yuuri wants him to play. This is utterly heartbreaking. And really unhealthy as far as their relationship goes! There is not positive way of reading this. 

Regarding the scene where Victor hugs Yurio before the competition, he didn’t do it because he was begging for his help to stop Yuuri from retiring, or because he was asking him something. He just wanted Yurio to skate at his best, it was his genuine feelings of support for him, as if he was saying “go and do your best!”. After all, until this scene we never really saw Victor support Yurio. It’s an action that cannot be explained with logic. 

Ok well, you didn’t convey that, did you? Some basic scene set-up and character acting was sorely missing from that scene. Still, RIP manipulative!Victor theory. Small blessings.

That said, here’s Kubo forgetting her own canon again. We never saw Victor support Yurio until this scene? You sure?

Are you really sure about that?

She also keeps saying that certain character’s actions or thoughts or feelings “can’t be explained through logic” and all I have to say about that is this: cheap excuse. You’re the writer, you should know how to explain your characters.

The selfish decision ultimately taken by the selfish Yuuri Katsuki was to continue competitive skating. I think there were many reasons that led to this conclusion. Not only what Victor gave him, but Yurio’s performance in the FS also managed to pull Yuuri back to the ice, and maybe he was influenced by the other athletes’ performances too. 

Yuuri Katsuki? Selfish?! Yuuri who spent most of the series thinking about people other than himself? Yuuri who had a mental breakdown over the idea that he was keeping Victor from happiness? Yuuri who had “accepting and admitting to his desires” as part of his character arc? Yuuri who had to be pushed by other to do the things he wanted for himself? Ok so she clearly doesn’t know her characters.

She “thinks” there are many reasons that led to the conclusion of Yuuri continuing to compete? Please enlighten us. Other than “we wanted a s2 and didn’t know how else to pitch it, also give us your money”, what other many reasons were there? Narratively, I’m pretty sure not even Kubo knows, considering the “MAYBE he was influences by the other athletes’ performances too”. 

This interview guys. I’m pretty sure it shortened my life span. Character derailment, retcons, continuing to insist on the at this point blatant lie that the finale was planned from the start (I would still be furious about it, but I would respect the staff so much more if they admitted they changed it at the last minute), and still no confirmation of a romantic relationship between Yuuri and Victor, on the contrary. I don’t really have new thoughts about s2, other than the fact that it’s not looking great. Not looking great.

Platonic wedding rings.

[i-read-good-books]

yoi lotr au

this is from several centuries ago but i think i never made a tumblr post for it and it’s my favourite fic that i’ve written so you know fuck modesty ayy

Title: "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky."

Word Count: 4k

Summary:  Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov [...] //

Day 95: Caught Nikiforov writing love poems. Am appalled at bad writing more than anything else. Example: “I really like your dark eyes / and all the other parts of your face. Your butt is the perfect size / and I would love to see you in lace.” Hope the Hobbit cannot read, or am afraid this love story will not have a pleasant ending.

Alternatively: Elf!Yuri talks shit about Elf!Victor and Hobbit!Yuuri in his diary.

Link to ao3: here

Actual fic under the cut:

"The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky."

Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than  giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov, as Plisestky was his protégé and closest friend. It is also, admittedly, an incredibly honest read, compared to some stories that overglorify Nikiforov and paint him as overworldly. The beginning of his relationship with Yuuri Katsuki, famous hobbit adventurer, is also illustrated in the book.

- Excerpt from "Victor Nikiforov: Legend and Truth", by scholar and famous entertainer Minako Okukawa.

Day -24: Nikiforov barges into my room in the middle of the night, wearing a pink frilly nightdress that I am quite convinced belongs to Mila, and announces, terribly loud, “Yuri! I have found my next adventure!” Proceeds to leave the room immediately, leaving glitter on my floor. My brethren and I have had our sleep disturbed for no conceivable reason. If this happens to be similar to the Human Pleasure Device Incident, will slit Nikiforov’s throat in the night.

Day -23: Nikiforov appears to be convinced that his adventure will be worthwhile. He has promised me he will not request me to undress a human female again. I have politely asked him not to ever mention the Incident again. Might have to invest in more of my daggers, as they have proved to be extremely useful. Nikiforov cheerfully informs me this adventure will involve hobbits. Do not see how this is supposed to encourage me to join him in his mad tourist trips across Middle Earth. Will ask Mila if hobbits are edible. Am unsure if she will know either.

Day -22: Hobbits are not edible, Mila is a terrible tattle tale, and Yakov is considering bringing me to a “place with other elves your age, lad”. If I am found dead come morning, Grandfather, ensure my fellow warriors find a safe place.

Day -21: Nikiforov will not consider my polite request to “leave me the fuck alone”, and continues to bother me at weapons training with plans for his reckless endeavour. He tells me there’s a magic hobbit in the Shire who can attract ancient creatures. Am glad, maybe this hobbit will get devoured before Nikiforov tracks him down. It would be fortunate.

Day -20: The Devil Himself (Yakov, Grandfather, I mention him sparsely, as I rather dislike him. He is too loud and much too tall) has declared he considers the idea of me joining Nikiforov’s wild trips marvelous, instead of repugnant. Do not know if simply stupid or just senile. Will consider murdering him to avoid leaving. Rivendell is not terribly disgusting at this time of year, and my warriors are comfortable here.

Day -19: Got caught trying to sneak into The Devil’s chambers. Mila informs me that “killing is not nice, baby”. Am not a baby. Am nearly 50 years old, you wrench.

Day -17: Neither threats nor pleading have persuaded my instructors. Am supposed to leave in two days’ time to get to the hellhole called “The Shire” to kidnap a prepubescent hobbit and force him to do our bidding. Have informed Nikiforov this sounds remarkably like “sexual harassment”. Nikiforov replies that I should stop reading Mila’s psychology novels. Am offended. I only read them for the plot.

Day -16: Hobbits are apparently smaller than dwarves. Cannot wait to be taller than someone. Am properly excited.

Day -15: Nikiforov apparently packed his whole wardrobe for the journey. Cannot truly say I did not expect this. My warriors hide in my cape, ready to spring on unsuspecting enemies and claw their eyes out. They are not “so cute!” as Nikiforov implies. He is an ignorant, and must be eliminated as soon as possible.

Day -10: Nikiforov has run out of natural glitter. Have never seen someone so utterly devastated. Must make sure to steal the glitter more often back in Rivendell.

Day -5: Nikiforov tries to tell me about the mysterious hobbit we’re supposed to abduct and manipulate. He says I will be happy, because the hobbit is slightly younger than I am in human years. I tell him I will not be happy, because I will be with a hobbit. Nikiforov has nothing to say to that.

Day -3: Arrival at The Shire. It is disgustingly cheerful. Nikiforov tells me to “keep still” until he finds the our target. I tell him to “go fuck yourself”, and proceed to wander around the Shire. Have discovered that hobbits are, in fact, quite shorter than me. They also eat ridiculous amounts of food. I approve of both these facts. Have written down several interesting recipes for Grandfather to make when I am back in Mirkwood.

Day -2: Nikiforov comes back with our kidnapped hobbit. He does not look like much of a magical creature. He is also, indignantly, called “Yuuri”, which amuses NIkiforov to no end, and ignores my attempts at being at peace, alone , insisting that I eat far too little. Am astounded he thinks I consider his opinions about me relevant. Believe the disgusting hobbit and Nikiforov are carrying on an illicit love affair, if their repugnant longing looks are anything to go by. I fear for my virtue.

Day -1: Hobbit: “Well, Victor, I don’t -” Nikiforov: “Did you...did you just call me by my given name?” Hobbit, while an alarming shade of red: “I’m so sorry, please, excuse me -” Nikiforov, the same shade: “No, uh, it’s fine.” I wish for the sweet relief of death.

Day 0:  After a day of making eyes at Nikiforov, like only the blind do, Frighteningly Cheerful Hobbit invites us to sleep at his ��hobbit hole” before our journey… I do not know what his “hole” refers to, and do not wish to know. Grandfather...hobbits are such deviants.

Day 1: We set off. Hobbit has forgotten his Pork Cutlet Bowl knife. We return to his “hole” (a type of house in the ground, I was mistaken, Grandfather, although it was painful for the height of the ceiling. Nikiforov, I am happy to say, was hurt much more badly than I was. But he did share a room with the Hobbit, which is a greater punishment than any creature needs) and get it. We set off once more. Nikiforov has forgotten his hairbrush. I throw one of my warriors at him to end his life. Warrior just meows. Am tired of this journey already.

Day 5: Have finally reached Bree. Easily Terrified Hobbit fidgets incessantly and clings to Nikiforov’s arm like a pest. He, disgustingly, seems to enjoy it immensely, smiling besottedly at the creature and making the hobbit get flustered in increasingly obvious ways. Have decided to find some poison in case they act any more smitten around each other. Bought food and blankets for my fellow warriors, although it was of an abysmally low quality. Strangely, miss Rivendell, in a It-was-terrible-but-familiar way. Must make sure to never grow attached to any place again.

Day 12: Hobbit has learnt about elven mealtimes, and is horrified. “How dare you, Victor?” he shouted at Nikiforov today, “Yuri is a child , he must be fed much more than this! I can’t believe you’d be so irresponsible! How many meals does he have a day, huh? Huh?!” Nikiforov, looking terrified and backing up, even though he is almost twice the hobbit’s heights, replied, “Um...three, four times per day?” This is my only source of entertainment, Grandfather. The Hobbit is currently not speaking to him, refusing to even look at him, and treats me like a newborn elf, which offends me greatly. Am glad he has seen the light regarding Nikiforov, although he is completely mistaken. I am not a child, and do not need feeding.

Day 17: ....the Hobbit’s cooking is surprisingly edible. Am fine with being a child for him. Hope Mila never finds out. Must destroy all evidence. Hobbit is elated, and calls me “dear”. Must kill him, too.

Day 18: After reflecting on it for a day, cannot believe hobbits are so advanced in the culinary department. Although they lack many other attributes (like basic intelligence and a sense of common decency), they certainly have a great amount of talent and ingenuity regarding sustenance. Truly remarkable creatures, these hobbits, even if they are inferior to us. They eat seven meals a day, Grandfather. Must market this. Inform the Financial Advisor, Yuri Purrsetsky.

Day 19: As of today, have been attacked by orcs, most of them riding drooling wargs (utterly repulsive), trolls and several unpleasant inebriated humans. Nikiforov is ecstatic that Hobbit attracts them to us. The Hobbit does not look as pleased with the confrontations, and has resumed his desperate clinging to Nikiforov, apparently forgiving him for starving me. I enjoy myself while making clever jokes about how the hobbit should learn to handle Nikiforov’s “sword”, and cackle evilly when he flushes.

Day 35: Mila has sent me a letter. It says: “LOL VICTOR SAYS YOU EAT HOBBIT FOOD YOU FUCKING NERD”.  Nikiforov will die tonight. Am prepared to run from the law.

Day 48: Hobbit insists my brethren are “adorable”. I inform him it is a slight on his part, as they are fierce warriors who could kill him in his sleep. Warrior Dreaded Claw discredits me by purring while the Hobbit pets him. Feel betrayed by my comrades.

Day 50: The Hobbit keeps touching my warriors. Get your hands off them, you filthy mongrel .

Day 53: Nikiforov has joined the warrior shaming, most likely to get points from Hobbit, who is delighted someone supports him.  Nikiforov takes advantage of this by putting his hand on the Hobbit's shoulder and walking him everywhere to "get stuff for your kittens, Yuri!". Hobbit makes a point to coo every single time he sees me with my warriors. Am offended this behaviour is allowed to continue without any repercussions, and consider it a baseless infantilization of my noble and solemn partners. EDIT: Must remember to heat the milk I bought for Sharp Fang, as she is sensitive to cold liquids and too young to be risking her health.

Day 60: The Hobbit Yuuko (AKA The Least Unbearable Hobbit I Have Ever Met) has sent me a letter. It is three feet of parchment long, and she explains in great detail how goats are raised in different climates. Am unsure what she means by this. Will ask Hobbit if this is part of some sick courtship ritual between these creatures.

Day 62: Not As Annoying As Most Hobbits has sent another letter. Apparently, the first one was for somebody else. In my letter, she tells me how to take care of my “luscious, glorious hair, Yuri!” and gives me advice on proper elven fashion. ...do not know which of the two was worse.

Day 73: They have not kissed. They very pointedly do not sleep in the same tent. I can feel the gods’ anger. Cannot deal with the residual traces of sexual tension in the air. Am unable to sleep for fear of them starting to become... intimate while I find myself in deep slumber, ignorant of the horrors happening next to me. Am considering calling the Furry Wizard to take me in, such is my desperation.

Day 80: Fought a dragon. Meh, could’ve been better. Hobbit rewarded us for saving his life by giving us some of its Pork magic dish.

Day 95: Caught Nikiforov writing love poems. Am appalled at bad writing more than anything else. Example: “I really like your dark eyes / and all the other parts of your face. Your butt is the perfect size / and I would love to see you in lace.” Hope the Hobbit cannot read, or am afraid this love story will not have a pleasant ending.

Day 105: The Hobbit has sewn pockets into my Tiger Monster cape to keep my warriors there as we travel. Hobbit is extremely worried for my health and that of my brethren, so I allow him to live one more day. Must use him as blackmail against Nikiforov.

Day 110:  "I wonder about all the eros you can give me." The hobbit thinks this is an intercultural thing, and is blushing in a ridiculous manner. I am concerned about the education received in the Shire. I fear for Nikiforov’s blood pressure. Do not know if I will escape to a safe place before he inevitably jumps the Hobbit.

Day 117: Fifty Shades of Gandalf visits us. He says, “Victor Nikiforov, the greatest fighter in the realm, whose name is feared and revered alike. What is your destiny, what dream are you chasing with this strange ensemble of companions and felines?” Nikiforov tells him some bullshit about becoming his better self and chasing something to challenge himself. Am convinced he thought, “Getting da booty.”

Day 134: Am sitting on a moderately comfortable rock, because this is the luxury a young, outstanding elf can find near the Misty Mountains. The Very Hungry Hungry Hobbit comes up to me. “Yuri,” he says. He is clearly nervous, fidgeting and glancing around us to see if anyone is in the area. I understand this because the Hobbit is incapable of surviving on his own (it is a miracle he has reached his age without being murdered) and I feel for him, the same way I do for small rodents, cockroaches, or Victor Nikiforov. “Yuri,” he says again, while I daydream about squashing him immediately after making him reveal the ‘Most Glorious Katsudon’ recipe, “Do you think Victor likes me?”

I…

I am going back to Mirkwood.

I cannot be expected to stand this. I’m out. Grandfather, I’m coming back.

Day 141: “But, like. Do you think, um, an elf and a hobbit would like, work ? Cause, um, I’m just… very out of my depth? I really appreciate you listening to me, Yuri.” I hate my immortal existence.

Day 158: Yuuko The Most Tolerable Hobbit sends me a portrait of her minuscule hobbit triplets with straw in their head and wearing animal skins, and writes below it, They have a new idol! Am unsure if I should be pleased with this or not. Must write to them about how to improve their fashion skills. Hmmm. On second thought, might be a good idea to have some minions.

Day 173: Nikiforov has decided to teach the Hobbit how to dance, and thinks that the best way for it to go is to educate his worryingly tiny mate in some elven dancing and rites. He has failed to take into account that the Hobbit’s head barely reaches his waist. Watching them flail is the best fun I’ve had in ages.

Day 174: Nikiforov has decided that, since I am only slightly taller than the Hobbit (a fact that I am immensely proud of) we must dance together. Although I thought it terrible and meaningless at first, am now greatly entertained when Nikiforov flinches the moment I put my hands on the Hobbit. Cannot control the urge to smirk. The Hobbit is, of course, completely oblivious.

Day 192: Wake up to the sounds of the Unpleasant Hobbit moaning Victor's name. Proceed to whack them with a stick and scream, yelling profanities at them. Human raiders attack us because of it. I regret nothing.

Day 193: Hobbit is sheepish and refuses to make eye contact with me (good for him), flushing and turning away, giggling, every time That Wretched Elf touches him. Nikiforov, on the other hand, enjoys pulling his undershirt down to show the disgusting marks he left on him. Retreat to eat dinner with my brethren, huffing.

Day 206: “I hope you know that… it won’t change things, that me and Victor are together. I know you two are close, and I don’t want to get in the way of that, Yuri. It would be great if you could come to like me, too. I think you’re a great warrior, and an even better elf.” I fucking hate Hobbits and I do not tear up, no matter what Nikiforov claims. I long for the day I can murder him without repercussions.

Day 218: Nikiforov decides to adopt some rabbits. Do not know if Hobbit will be okay with having children so early into their relationship. My warriors are not unhappy with the development, although Obscure Fur is still on the fence about the bigger one.

Day 219: Hobbit grows a spine and makes Nikiforov release the rabbits. “Victor, they need to be free!” “But you let Yuri keep his kittens!” “They’re his family , Victor, and they are adorable !” Am growing to like the Hobbit more each day. What a pity that he is such an inferior creature.

Day 226: Nevermind. Must remember to always sleep with my whacking stick in hand to avoid a repeat. Will be scarred forever. Did not expect the Hobbit to be this... adventurous . Will stop thinking about the Hobbit in that context.

Day 248: "Yuuri, I...I think you've changed me. I've never felt like this before, never wanted to be with someone else so badly that my heart ached. You're...you're a shooting star across the dark night that is my life, lighting my path." "Uh...yeah, um, me too, Victor." Do not know how hobbits are still alive, if that is their standard reproductive behaviour. Will inform Grandfather not to invest in the hobbit gardening industry, as it might end in the near future because of hobbit shortage. My stick has been graced with another whacking, and Nikiforov coincidentally has another bruise, this time not because of his disgusting deviant tendencies, which are quite unbecoming of an elf of his breeding.

Day 253: I…

Another dragon found us today, while we were travelling. I was not worried, as I have grown used to Nikiforov handling every monstrous creature thrown our way without trouble. The Flamboyant Elf didn’t disappoint this time, of course, but he took longer than usual. Hobbit, in his stupid panic, tried to help. Hobbit...Yuuri (I might call him by his given name, as he might be dead by tomorrow) got injured. I… Saw Nikiforov crying for the first time. Do not want to see it again. Grandfather...have you seen this before? The way an elf fears for their mortal lover? Is this pain the one the stories talk about, woven in the songs? Will Nikiforov, too, die with the Hobbit? ...Will I be left alone?

Day 255: The Hobbit hasn’t woken up. Nikiforov does not leave his side. The ingredients for the past two nights’ dinner are still in the Hobbit’s bag, but I am not hungry. My brethren refuse to eat, as well. That wretched Hobbit should die, as stupid and careless as he is. He will do nothing but bring us grief.

Day 279: After weeks of fever and incessant worrying, the Hobbit is once again healthy.  I tell him it would be a shame if he died before I could torture him to punish him for his misdeeds and insults to my person. He insists on fussing over me, as I am, apparently “too skinny, oh god, did Victor even feed you?”. His desire to take care of me (as if I needed it, the self-centered bastard) must wait, given the fact that Nikiforov hasn’t let go of him for the past twelve hours. Am shocked and repulsed to find that I do not find it as disgusting as I once did. Must be a side effect of living with these deviants.

Day 284: Send poison, Grandfather, I beg of you. My dutiful army of terrifying kittens, it is time to fulfill our destiny and end the suffering in this world. I cannot bear this any longer. Grandfather, you might be disappointed in me if I become a murderer, fleeing the law and taking refuge in the dwarven mountains, but I will not witness the Irritatingly Red Hobbit feeding Victor that Precious Katsudon once more. No more .

Day 290: The Hobbit insists on us visiting the Shire for some time. He says he must give news to his family, and it has been too long since he was home. Nikiforov immediately agreed with the Hobbit and disregarded my protests, because he is whipped. Heard the Hobbit talking about introducing Nikiforov to his family. Am slightly impressed with how manipulative he can be.

Day 302: One of my warriors gave birth to more of our troops last night. Hobbit is delighted, and helps me care of them. I watch him carefully to make sure he does not try to harm them, although I doubt he has enough of a brain to have ulterior motives. Nikiforov enjoys teasing me about them, “Weren’t they supposed to be fearsome warriors who needed no assistance, Yuri?” I retort with, “Weren’t you supposed to be pretty , Nikiforov? People lie.”

Day 305: Nikiforov is still sulking about the comment I made. Hobbit tries to reassure him he is pretty with an endless stream of compliments, and kisses an unnecessary amount of times in my presence. I do my best to ignore them, and fantasize about  tearing them apart limb by limb.

Day 317: Have finally arrived at the Shire, and am quite excited to see Yuuko, The Almost Pleasant Hobbit once more. Perhaps will enjoy my time with my “fans”, the triplets. Have received a letter from Mila. It reads: “Is it true Victor’s banging that Hobbit? Omg, take pictures!”. Did not reply.

Day 319: I take all my nice words about my fans back.Children are demons and I cannot wait to leave the Shire. Why must they exist? When I voiced my complaints to Nikiforov, who looks like an extremely suspiciously happy elf after leaving  Bumbling Fool Hobbit's room in the morning, he cackles very unattractively and says, "But you are a child, Yuri." Grandfather, this is harassment.

Day 321: Have caught a ‘cold’ from the fiendish triplets. I fear for my life. Grandfather, it has been good knowing you. Must say goodbye to my brethren. Wish to die surrounded by them, in proper elvish attire, while Nikiforov’s body burns on a spike.

Day 324: The Hobbit has established himself as my own physician, and pretends to know any knowledge about basic medicine while sharing his observations with an actual medical professional in the Shire. Have made peace with the Hobbit’s overwhelming stupidity. Nikiforov tries to  help, but Hobbit hisses at him and possessively calls me “his patient”. Am overjoyed that this makes the Drama Queen Elf pout.

Day 328: Am feeling much better, and do not think I will die soon. Yuuko brings me pie, which I feel is the least I deserve after her devilish children got me infected.

Day 330: Today, the Bondage Wizard With A Pointy Hat came to the Shire. He informed us that the Hobbit  does not in fact attract any magical creatures at all, and it was all his doing. Therefore, this journey was a road to self-realization (except I somehow got strung along. Funny how it is never wizards that get caught up in “destiny”.). Nikiforov looks slightly annoyed, but is disgustingly happy with the Hobbit. I am not blinded by these trivial matters, and proceed to whack the Bondage Wizard with my stick. Cannot believe I wasted a year of my life on this useless adventure. Will be back soon, Grandfather.

Day 373: Am back in Rivendell. Mila is calling herself “a huge Nikatsuki shipper”, which could possibly be her new cult name. Yakov yells at me, which is normal. Miss the Hobbit’s cooking, if not his presence. Definitely do not miss Nikiforov, not in the slightest.

Day 458: Have received an invitation to the Hobbit and Nikiforov’s wedding. Have advised Mila to bring arsenic in case they engage in intimate activities while in the presence of others. Will consider taking Grandfather with me, so he can inspect the culinary developments in the Shire. Yuuko says the couple is “so adorable, Yuri!”. Poor deluded hobbit.

fin

[dialogue-with-varyu]

SUPERNATURAL THE ANIMATION: A Dissection of Dean’s Failed Characterization & Design (PART 1 - The Technicals)

I have a lot on my chest about the anime that I couldn’t really get into in both of my last posts since the topic of what makes the anime series so cringe-worthy is a very intricate one, making the explanation of it all become a SERIES OF ESSAYS. So please read my previous installments before getting into this one because I will be referencing those a lot:

SUPERNATURAL THE ANIMATION: A THESIS OVERVIEW ON JAPANESE ANIME PRODUCTION & CHARACTER DESIGN

SUPERNATURAL THE ANIMATION: THE IMPORTANCE COLOR DESIGN BRINGS TO VISUAL TONE

But anyway, let’s talk about Dean. I’m gonna talk about Dean.

I will talk about Dean because Sam was portrayed pretty okay in the anime and it’s really Dean’s characterization that strikes a chord with a lot of fans of the original Supernatural series. (However I will consider a separate Sam essay to those in favor of it.)

But I haven’t really seen a lot of people put into words about makes them feel the way they do. So what’s the problem with Dean?

Refresher:

While I understand this distinction, I think that we can all agree that the overall interpretation of Dean suck balls and I’d like to argue that:

rather than misinterpreting Dean’s character, the writers were more focused on one of Dean’s major facades and ran with it.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, I’d like to address the elephant in the room: Why an anime series?

Why did Supernatural garner enough attention to GET an anime series? What is so special about Supernatural AND anime that a large group of creatives and investors were willing to marry the two?

Honestly, that question is big enough for another essay on it’s own. But the bottom line is:

Anime is watched for the melodrama.

Nuance and subtitles are more akin to live action film since the culture around the different intricacies of a story have larger factors that contribute to it. (i.e, it doesn’t matter what’s written because an actor may just ad-lib it, Murphey’s Law, etc.) 

So basically, when you have an animated show what you see is what you get by convention. There really is no use arguing over what is canon and what is not because, unlike an actor, decisions and change of mind can’t be attributed in the moment when it comes to character performance. People are more likely to question the mindset of a decision behind a scene when it’s animated more often than leaving it to the death of the author.

But it’s because of this that anime often has namely traits of exaggeration: screaming characters crying about their passion in the heat of battle, long ass internal monologues, “-dere” archetypes, the works.

Which means that anime characters are usually walking talking hyperbolic symbols. (Whether or not you enjoy this is usually the deciding factor between anime fans and those who are not.)

And this ties directly into Dean. 

Because Dean in the anime series is an exaggeration of himself from the original show.

Rather, an exaggeration of one specific facade:

The facade Dean pulls up in season one episode 1. The fake Dean that tends to overcompensate his insecurities with bravado.

WHY this scene in particular is one that actually makes sense. 

Mostly because this scene IS a if not THE root scene that cemented Dean Winchester’s starting point launching endless possibilities of character traits to be explored for seasons to come. It’s a highly impacted scene that’s very memorable, both in it’s first impressions and as a point of reference for his development. 

I infer that the writers of the anime series saw this and built upon their own impressions of it. Namely, they saw this facade and thought this was the True Dean Winchester. (Which, to those who have watched past season 2, know is very far from the truth.)

So how did they write Dean Winchester?

Dean Winchester is perceived to be like a generic anime bad boy

(I say “perceived” since by all means the Supernatural anime is a reinterpretation with very deliberate changes.)

What I’m talking about are those “thug” type bullies in every school centered anime show.

And while I make the claim that the writers may have built off of the scene from the pilot in painting a picture of Dean’s character in their heads, I’m also led to believe that this decision to have Dean come off as a “thug” is less of a conscious choice...

...and more of a conventional one.

Because nothing fits Fake Bravado Dean like Generic Anime Thug Dude when it comes to a script laden with anime-like tropes.

(To make a more compelling dissection of the writer’s true interpretation of Dean SPECIFICALLY would require me to rewatch and analyze ALL of the anime’s original standalone episodes.

...for the sake of brevity and the fact that I don’t want to rewatch any of the anime’s episodes in it’s entirety because I can’t stand even 5 seconds of this animated drivel I Am Not Going to Do That unless a lot of people ask about it or if people just wanna see me suffer.)

But okay, it’s sort of weird to gauge the errors of Dean’s characterization when this anime series nearly follows the original show’s 1st and 2nd season’s storylines verbatim. 

Now that I think about it, it’s even weirder to be so allergic to an interpretation of a character when the source material is being 99.9% faithfully adapted--especially with the same lines and set up. So what gives?

What makes anime Dean’s characterization so off from the original to a drastic degree?

The “mischaracterization” is greatly tied into Dean’s character design and the way he emotes--which affects him greatly on the narrative of the anime series as a whole.

I already criticized the character designs in the lack of coherence in color design as well as execution narratively, but the latter still stands to be a huge major problem since it does just that. 

Affect the narrative. 

Which means it also affects the characters and the themes.

Which ties back again to Dean being perceived as an anime thug. 

And I know this because Dean makes the same goddamn faces as an anime thug.

(In this case I’ll be referencing Space Dandy since I can’t find generic anime examples of side characters that embody this profile despite this stereotype and it’s mannerisms invading vast amounts of shows. However anyone who has seen enough anime will know what I’m talking about. And again, the “look” given by the artistic nuances/techniques of the character design of the anime series is not very original.)

You know what, as an aside I’m just going to throw in the fact that Space Dandy’s “look” is very similar to to the spn anime down to the BL shadows in which Dandy is compared with Redline

And that Jessica is totally generically designed

Anyway, this extends further than Dean’s facial expressions alone. 

It extends to his wardrobe which totally starts to unhinge Dean’s persona. oddly enough. 

So here’s a round of nit-picking

Why in god’s name is Dean wearing sunglasses indoors? He already went through an entire spiel about ineffectiveness at night

and it’s not like having it indoors makes it any less ridiculous. And yes, he does wear them again in later seasons both unironically and ironically

But these cues of character insight (that people have written far better meta for) is in the context of later seasons and I highly doubt the anime production team could’ve predicted any of this so I’m just going to have a giant ????? over this.

Back to this awful screenshot again. 

But seriously, anyone shirtless in the snow deserves to die of hypothermia. 

Dean is the last person to feel comfortable with minimal clothing due to years of sexual harassment/assault from CREATURES more often than not

Even more so whenever Dean is naked, it’s used more for vulnerability over titillation:

I hate this stupid screenshot. 

It is awful, why? Because anime characters rarely stray from their trope mannerisms unless the story calls for it, or the animators dedicate some time to create impressive sakuga for novelty’s sake. If Dean has body language like this now, that mean’s he’s likely going to exhibit it again no matter what the context is in terms of story or character.

Leading to this abomination. 

I know what you are doing. I get it. I KNOW. 

I KNOW YOU’RE DRAWING DEAN THIS WAY BECAUSE APPARENTLY TO YOU DEAN IS AN ANIME THUG WHICH MEANS ANIME THUGS EXHIBIT THIS KIND OF UNCARING BODY LANGUAGE BUT NEED WE FORGET THAT DEAN LOVES HIS CAR MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

HAVING HIS SHOES AGAINST THE SEAT OR ANYWHERE NEAR THE LEATHER IS THE SAME AS DEFECATING ON IT. ARE YOU SERIOUS RN??? THAT’S LIKE THE ONE THING DEAN WINCHESTER IS ALL ABOUT AND IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD NOT BE FORGOTTEN ESPECIALLY WHEN IT CAME TO DEVELOPMENTS OF DEMON!DEAN 

This...this shit I can’t forgive. This is so absent-minded it physically hurts me. I can’t be the only one bothered by this.

Addendum: I don’t even really care if that’s NOT the impala (in this episode of the anime Sam and Dean were thrown into the backseat of a police car.) I still don’t think Dean would EVER exhibit this sort of body language in any car. 

It also still doesn’t excuse the lack of variety in Dean’s emoting and body language as a whole. You could do so much storytelling in his body language (since Jensen Ackles is a master at that) but they instead chose to stick with a template of a character and never strayed from it.

But...I digress.

Incidentally of all places Yuri!! On Ice has closer character designs of Sam and Dean that for some virulent reason exists (Also incidentally, if you so much as breathe the title of YOI you will be immediately blocked I am not joking around. Don’t test me.)

As does Yami Shibai

So it’s not like a competent/more modern design tailored to anime is impossible. 

It is very possible. So if you have your defense that the character designs of the spn anime are inherently horrible BECAUSE it’s supposed to “look anime” you’re probably just suffering from media illiteracy.

However, again, I made claim that the “style” of the Supernatural anime character designs are not what make it fail. 

It’s the execution of nuances that killed it--both visually and narratively. And I still stand by that.

To form examples, that means more design redraws!!!

However, the redraws this time around will have it’s own separate post since the inner working of what can make or break a design will be discussed and demonstrated there.

SEE YOU IN PART 2!!!

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 3

So I dropped off the face of Tumblr for awhile, sorry guys! I also rewatched the entirety of Yuri on Ice with my boyfriend and he now likes ice skating anime so that took some time lol But I am back JUST IN TIME FOR YUMOTO’S BIRTHDAY OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS CHILD. So, have a liveblog/collection of my stupid thoughts about one of the more ridiculous episodes! Yay! 

Also, I apologize in advance- some of this episode’s subtext led to an impromptu dissection of the boys’ sexualities/orientations and there are some brief mentions of unsavory teachers (because what kind of teacher holds a pretty boy contest???) so if any of my terminology/speculation is incorrect or you find any of my discussions potentially triggering or in need of tags PLEASE inbox me and I will tag the post as such/correct any misinformation! I am a literature student- I like to analyze things. Sometimes I get carried away~

I SAW THE PREVIEW IMAGE FOR THIS EP ON CRUNCHYROLL AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT ‘HERE WE GO I REMEMBER THIS EPISODE IT’S GONNA BE A TRASH PARADE AND WTF CITY LET’S GO’

Okay- I always wondered about the pretty boy contest… like why? What purpose does it serve? Why are there posters put up in a fucking BATHHOUSE advertising the local boys’ high school’s PRETTY BOY CONTEST. .3 seconds into the episode and it’s ridiculous. 

What do you mean ‘weight with the ladies’ c’mon man I have a hard time believing you care ANYTHING about ‘the ladies’ -eyebrow waggle-

He’s doing pirouettes in a towel… okay seriously bro I danced ballet for like 10 years and I never pirouetted in a towel OKAY THAT’S PROBABLY A LIE BUT YOU CAN’T PROVE IT OTHERWISE

"EWWWW TEACHER DICK”

Aww Yumoto. So innocent. So naive. So willing to point out he just saw his teacher’s penis-

...well that’s an odd question. Yumoto why would you ask-

Oh, shew, it’s because you’re not ashamed of bodies! How sweet and innocent and refreshi-

WAIT BACK UP NEVERMIND YUMOTO WTF THAT’S CALLED VOUYERISM

Those are the faces of some senpais that just came to the realization that their kouhai has probably been checking them out.

Well he got dressed fast.

How do you hire someone by accident?

Took the words right out of my mouth, Atsushi.

This is disturbing on several levels. Pedo Principal? -shudders-

FEET SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY

GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. AKOYA AS A BALLET DANCER OMG. IMAGINE. HAS THIS BEEN DRAWN? THIS NEEDS TO BE FANART SOMEWHERE. HE’D BE SO PRETTY JUST IMAGINE HIM IN TIGHTS BEING THE PRINCIPAL MALE LEAD IN SWAN LAKE OR FUCK EVEN IN A FUCKING TUTU BECAUSE HE’D BE GORGEOUS IN EITHER ROLE I CAN’T EVEN AWKEJFLASJFASLDJFOSIJFOAJ -Cupkayke Explodes-

Arima speaks truth

Io why do you have an exact copy of the calculator I use at work that’s terrifying.

RYUU YOU ARE LYING YOU GO TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL THAT IS APPROXIMATELY 0% WOMEN TRY AGAIN

Io looks so disappointed he can’t talk numbers with Ryuu

THEIR CHEESY CATCHPHRASE AGAIN

Side note I feel like the quirkiness of the school got toned down in later eps but perhaps that’s my faulty memory. Which is why I’m rewatching it lol.

Pretty and savage AF

PINK RIVALRY! I mean seriously, “you can’t seem to take your eyes off of me?” Maybe not even a rivalry but something else ohohohohohoh I’m alone on this ship

Okay this creepy teacher apparently calls all the boys ‘sweet honey’ which is disturbing on its own level but that got cranked up to 11 on the creep scale when he referred to YUMOTO as sweet honey. 

Yumoto is a precious cinnamon roll you freak

Paper airplane contest lololol why do I feel like this happened at my school back in the day?

Wombat sounds like a jealous lover lolol

OH BOY! PUNS!

RYUU AND AKOYA TIED FOR THIRD???

HOW DOES AKOYA NOT WIN IN THE LINEUP OF THE SC???

LIKE SERIOUSLY KINSHIROU????

AKOYA IS TEN TIMES PRETTIER!

This school must have a thing for ice princes I s2g

En's boredom is dangerous. I mean... the face says it all.

Ryuu is all “this is NOT up my alley”

A bit slow on the uptake, Yumoto.

Io that’s so sweet... I guess? Well Ryuu seems to think it is- look at his face!

...nevermind. His expression is all “Thanks... I guess...”

Either Yumoto was hoping his senpais would teach him how to be popular with the ladies, or he’s just confused as to what in the hell it is that older boys want. This entire scene is just a clusterfuck of innuendo BUT I’M GONNA OVER ANALYZE IT ANYWAY.

The surface meaning of En and Atsushi’s statements here- or what the audience is supposed to get- is that being popular with girls will only get you so far. It may get you ‘love’ but having a girlfriend means jack squat if you don’t have guy friends (most likely to brag to). 

It also could be taken that En at least would rather appreciate women than exert his energy into making them lust after him, which is rather sweet if you think about it.

Atsushi’s point also draws attention to the fact that stereotypical displays of machismo are much more well-received by other men than women- ie outward displays of strength, aggression, bragging about sexual encounters... er- yeah. No need to go on, there.

So. In order to be a well-rounded man, a man needs to be popular/be admired by other men! So you aren’t a lonely loser the rest of your days.

Buuut... because I’m me... LET’S LOOK AT THE SUBTEXT IN RELATIONSHIP TO THEIR SPECULATED SEXUALITIES 8D

En basically says straight up it’s more beneficial to be admired by men. Putting aside the above statements about admiring women... En’s likely gay. Fosho.

And the top screencap of Yumoto, instead of just clarifying his senpai’s intentions, that could mean that he’s more interested in girls. HOWEVER-

With a c: face, Yumoto admits his heart flutters watching rugged young men!

Bi Yumoto anyone? (He also unironically uses the word ‘flicks’ but that’s either a translator thing or another example of a mysterious dialect but ON TOPIC-)

At least within the context of this scene, Yumoto implies he’d be interested in being popular with girls and he is attracted to at very least a certain type of man. Buuut the rest of this episode (which I will get to later) potentially directly contradicts this implication as to Yumoto’s romantic and/or otherwise attraction.

It’s too bad that we don’t get Ryuu or Atsushi’s opinions on the matter- although Ryuu makes his attractions pretty clear just from his character (and then the subtext with Io). Atsushi is a bit of a mystery, for now. 

As for Io, we get this  exchange-

Le sigh. Io is moneysexual. Anyway...

Wombat so salty- I guess helping Ryuu win a contest is more entertaining than being superheroes.

Me about halfway through this post

En's expressions in this scene are great.

Tho does anyone else now headcanon En as really into athletics when he isn’t being lazy?

Like him really liking competition just fits so well but without a goal he’s just like ‘why bother’

Atsushi sounds so awkward calling him Yufuin

“I can’t just announce him as Enchan that’s weird but I don’t think I’ve ever said his last name ughhhhhhhhh”

Io is NOT playing by the unspoken one urinal in between rule

ALSO I JUST NOTICED YOU CAN SEE THE GUY ON THE LEFT ACTUALLY PEEING WTF

Water go swoosh swoosh

Also their bathrooms are fancy AF

GDI why does Io make the best seduction face

Even tho it’s more predatory here still...

THEY WERE REALLY HEAVY HANDED WITH THE INNUENDO IN S1

The triplets WHY ARE THEIR EYES SO WEIRD

WHAT IS IT WITH THIS SHOW AND SIDE CHARACTERS WITH WEIRD EYES

Ryuu so destructive lol

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT EN BEING ATHLETIC RYUU DOES FUCKING KARATE

Sparkles

Ibushi is still savage AF

I had to giggle and cap his character card because the image of Atsushi doing gigantic jigsaw puzzles was adorable

YOU’RE A TEACHER WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A PRETTY BOY?

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE VALIDATED BY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

Did he get scorned and that’s why his self esteem is in the toilet???

1579th pretty boy contest??? Damn Pedo Principal is thirsty AF I am still shuddering at the implications

Tho seriously that’s -does math- ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY ONE YEARS OF PRETTY BOY CONTESTS WHAT THE FUCK

And that isn’t taking into account there would probably be a month or two where school isn’t in session on the 27th to have the pretty boy contest. Like December wouldn’t they be on break? And don’t they have a summer holiday at some point?

IT ISN’T JUST ONE PEDO PRINCIPAL IT’S A DYNASTY

EWWWWWWWWW.

YUMOTO AND RYUU BROTHER RELATIONSHIP I FRIENDSHIP IT LOOK RYUU IS BLUSHING

Yumoto knows he’s a lil shit

What the fuck kind of sound effect is swan swan???

I’m suddenly reminded of Kronk doing his own theme music-

Ryuu so salty he wanted to know the winner

Yumoto that writhing mob of students is pretty gross I agree

SO ZUNDAR WANTS THE ENTIRE WORLD TO BE GAY

THAT’S HIS EVIL PLAN TURN EVERYONE GAY

HE SOUNDS LIKE A SHITTY GROSS POLITICIAN

With that shot angle I was just waiting for him to lay a fucking egg but thankfully that didn’t happen

The subtitle is inaccurate- he actually said ‘GIMME HUG’ which is slightly more unsettling.

EN YOU WANT TO MARRY IT WTF

Yumoto still just like c: “I have no idea what’s going on”

I NOW PRESENT TO YOU THE BEST BOUEIBU SCREENCAPS IN THE HISTORY OF SCREENCAPS 

ATSUSHI SO GRACEFUL

SO ROMANTIC

EN IS JEALOUS

THEY’RE ALL RIDICULOUS

Speaks for itself

And here is where Yumoto contradicts his earlier implications. Okay. 1) Writers make up your minds, although 2) ...shades of gray here.

Perhaps Kurotori’s feather spell represents sexual love (Eros for all you YOI fans~) and Yumoto is either a) too young/innocent to understand or b) somewhere on the ace spectrum. The others were affected because they are either simply older than Yumoto/past puberty or allosexual to the point where the spell could manipulate their feelings despite their existing attractions whatever those may be.

Yumoto’s earlier comments, then, could be taken to mean simply romantic attraction, even though his wording of his “heart fluttering” thanks to Yakuza men is a bit misleading in that respect. (Disclaimer: I am not on the ace spectrum so perhaps I am misrepresenting/misinterpreting here- please correct me if I have made a mistake in my understanding of asexuality- I definitely do not want to offend anyone! Just analyzing~) 

Though to play the other side, En’s comment about marriage, even though he’s under the influence of a spell, also indicates that the spell has romantic components as well as potentially sexual ones. If the spell plays to BOTH- wouldn’t Yumoto be affected as well, based on his earlier assertions?

OR PERHAPS- if it is both, Yumoto is ALSO potentially aromantic and his comments were purely of an aesthetic nature or self projection (that is, he wants to be a dashing Yakuza heartthrob, not necessarily date one). Or he was simply trying to relate to his senpais and was bluffing the entire time.

Damn, this episode can seem REALLY deep if you squint hard enough. Headcanons, abound!

Moving on- WHEN IN DOUBT, HUG THE ENEMY!

Now I’m starting to see some cleverness on the part of the writers- hear me out below- but first- MORE CUDDLES

With this, Yumoto can be read several different ways. 

On the surface and probably most importantly, regardless of what Yumoto’s personal attraction/orientation is (if he’s even figured it out at this point), he knows love at its purest form. He loves his brother. He loves his senpais (even though at this point they barely know each other- Yumoto probably latches on quickly). But more importantly, he is so in tune with his own feelings he realizes that self love is at the core of any type of love. That if you aren’t secure in yourself, if you don’t care about yourself on some level, how can anyone else care about you either?

This is another reason why I love Yumoto even though he can get a bit heavy-handed at times and seem like a one-note character; HE ISN’T.

Yumoto is incredibly introspective and even though his senapis make comments about how he just kind of shoves everything together to fit the situation he really does understand the monster-ified characters’ insecurities.

(Which can lead to some sad headcanons about how Yumoto has probably felt all of these things at one point or another... oh no...)

But back to my over-analysis of Yumoto’s orientation- with this... it’s really up to interpretation.

He can be read as a young character who hasn’t figured things out yet, he can be read as interested in romantic relationships of any variety but not necessarily anything else, he can be read as only interested in platonic relationships- anything. And while the inconsistency in his portrayal can be a bit maddening- it’s GREAT headcanon opportunity.

Thus, unless s3 gives Yumoto a canon interest- he’s whatever you think he is. Which is AWESOME! DO YOU SEE WHY I LOVE THIS SMOL CINNAMON ROLL?

Aaaand some closing, not very deep thoughts to wrap up-

SO BLUSHY. MUCH ANGELIC. WOW.

En you’re always tired

Kinchan... why do you want people to grovel at your feet...?

That’s certainly a random question, En- but for shits and giggles; these are their responses if I’m hearing their voices right:

Atsushi - My neck, I guess?

Yumoto - My arms

Ryuu - Armpits

Io - The nape of the neck.

My brain hurts so I have NO idea what these could mean but I highly doubt they’re throwaway lines- SO YOU GUYS TELL ME. Over-analyze what parts they wash first LOL

OKAY WOW THAT WAS LONG AS FUCK AND I GOT TOO DEEP. Again, let me know if I fucked anything up or need to add tags~ And let me know what you think/what your headcanons are/if there’s something from another canon source that could add to this!

I’ll try to get ep 4 up today as well since it took me forever to get back to this but this shit takes longer than I thought. I watch the ep first and take notes, then go back and re-watch and screencap and take more notes, then copy/pasta everything into tumblr and add more thoughts and make it readable. Shew.