#YES I REMEMBER THE EXACT BOOK BECAUSE ALL THIS SHIT WAS SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 16

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

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Word Count: 1,850ish

Summary: You and Logan struggle. Stryker raids the mansion.

Warnings: angst (sorry, not sorry), Stryker, the raid on the mansion, kidnapping

Notes: I promise there will be fluff... one day.

Reminder:  I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

Logan couldn’t remember another time in his life that he had been this nervous. He couldn’t even understand why he was feeling this way. It’s not like they were going on a date… right?

“Shit,” he muttered as he paced his room. 

Was this a date? Did you think of it that way? Did he want it to be a date? Yes, Logan was having feelings for you, but it was all confusing. He couldn’t separate current feelings with past feelings and what maybe him just getting attached because you had known him before his memories disappeared. Logan couldn’t lead you on. Not when he didn’t know where he stood. You deserved so much better than that.

Maybe the nerves were that Logan wasn’t ready to know the truth yet. He didn’t want to put you through the trauma of talking about your past. Logan sighed, running a hand down his face. He was definitely over thinking this. But how could he not?

Besides, did you want anything to do with him? Logan had left you for twenty-two—almost twenty-three years. Maybe you were ready to move on. His stomach dropped at the thought. What would he do if you didn’t want him anymore? He couldn’t stay here, that’s for sure. So did he really want to know what the two of you had if you weren’t going to want him anymore? Logan was sure that would only hurt you more.

~~~

You were nervous about meeting up with Logan. How was this going to go? Was this a date? Did Logan want you do to all the talking? You wanted to know how his twenty-two years without you were, but you didn’t want to press if it was going to be too hard for him. You needed to make things as comfortable for Logan as possible. 

After putting the younger students to bed, you got to work. You threw together some snacks and retrieved some beer from under your bed. You set up in the common living room, anxiously moving items around and grabbing blankets. This had to be perfect. You wanted Logan to be comfortable as well as yourself. Eventually, you allowed yourself to sit down and wait with a book.

The time ticked away, with no sign of Logan anywhere. Sadness and frustration boiled within you. You ended up having to throw your book away after it caught on fire. Unable to sit still, you began pacing. You knew that Logan was still upstairs and it was taking so much of your energy to not go upstairs and chew him out. You couldn’t let yourself do that though. The two of you hadn’t set an exact time anyway. Maybe he was making sure that the students were in bed? Or maybe Rogue snagged him away for a moment?

Eventually, you found yourself sitting down, staring at the fireplace. Your hands nervous played with the dog tags around your neck as you dimmed and enlarged the flames in the fireplace. Slowly, though you fought against it, you fell asleep.

~~~

Logan hated himself. He knew that you were downstairs, he could hear you moving around and smell the smoke from your flames. He knew that you were waiting for him but no matter how many times his hand found the doorknob, he couldn’t twist it. Glancing at the clock by his bed, Logan sighed. It was late and he hadn’t heard you move in a little bit. He didn’t believe you had gone to bed because he would have heard you as your rooms shared a hall.

With a deep breath, Logan finally got the courage to open the door. Whatever he found down there, Logan knew he would need to fix. He would beg on his hands and knees if he had to in order for you to forgive him for being a dick. Logan’s hands grew clammy as he headed downstairs and towards the living room. His heart dropped when he stepped into the living room and found you asleep on the couch. 

Looking around, Logan saw the fireplace was dimmed to embers and there were snacks and beers sit out on the coffee table. Guilt gnawed at Logan. He hadn’t showed up and you had everything ready for him. He needed to fix this, if you’d ever talk to him again anyway. Grabbing the snacks and beers, Logan headed to the kitchen to put everything away.

When he arrived in the kitchen, Bobby was already in there.

“Hey,” Bobby greeted. He noticed the snacks and beer in Logan’s arms. “Did you have a party?”

“No,” Logan gruffly responded as he began to try and find a home for the snacks.

“Are those beers yours or Y/N’s?”

“Y/N’s.”

“I saw her asleep on the couch… Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her?”

“Yes.” He opened a beer bottle and chugged some.

“I’m sure you had your reasons and that she’ll forgive you.”

“She shouldn’t.”

“Oh, trust me, she’ll whip your ass first. But she’ll forgive you.”

Logan nodded, thinking about you. He wanted to know you more. But did he truly deserve that? “How long you been here?”

“Couple years.”

“And your parents just sent you off to mutant school?”

“Actually, my parents think this is a prep school.”

“Oh, I see. I suppose lots of prep schools have their own dorms, campuses—“

“Jets.”

“So you and Rogue, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s not what you think. I’d like it to be, but it’s just… It’s just that it’s not easy when you wanna be closer to someone… but you can’t…. You know, I’ve seen how you look at Y/N… You have the chance to be with her.”

“It’s complicated.” He took another drink.

“I’m sure.”

Logan’s head snapped to the side as running footsteps caught his attention. He suddenly stood up, trying to hear them again.

“What it is?” Bobby asked, only to be shushed by Logan.

He moved out into the hallway as he continued to hear footsteps. A soldier slipped into the kitchen while Logan wasn’t looking, but Logan quickly jumped back into the room. He grabbed the soldier by the arms.

“You picked the wrong house, bub,” Logan told him.

A tremendous shrieking sounded from one of the students upstairs, hurting everyone’s ears. The soldier Logan had grabbed began shooting, forcing Bobby to duck and Logan to drag the soldier down. The soldier and Logan began fighting, with the soldier pulling out a knife. He cut Logan’s face but was shocked to see it quickly heal. Logan roared as his claws came out and he stabbed the soldier. He turned to check on Bobby who was peering over the counter.

“You alright?” Logan asked. Bobby nodded. Logan pulled Bobby into the hallway, but quickly stopped when they saw soldiers lining the halls. “Stay here.” He screamed as he began to fight off the soldiers.

~~~

You woke up with a gasp, your hands quickly covering your ears as the screaming pierced them. Something was wrong. Looking around, you noticed soldier’s coming towards you. You grunted as you threw a fireball at one of them. Without looking behind you, you jumped off the couch, only to be stopped by ramming into a chest. Before you could use your power, a collar was placed around your neck. Suddenly you felt weaker. 

“Tell the Colonel, we got her,” the soldier ordered. The soldier put his lips to your ear. “Stryker’s going to be happy to see you.”

“NO!” You screamed, fighting against the soldier. You couldn’t go back to Stryker. “JAMES!” You tried as you struggled against the soldiers who joined in trying to restrain you. “LOGAN!”

Your scream died in your throat as a needle was jabbed into your shoulder and a toxin was pressed into you. The edges of your vision began to blur before you lost consciousness.

~~~

“NO!” Logan’s head spun at the sound of your screaming. “JAMES! LOGAN!”

“Y/N!” Logan yelled, trying to fight through the soldiers to get to you. How could he have forgotten about you? You had been asleep on the couch, totally unprepared for the attack. He should have gotten to you.

With more rage in him, Logan took out the soldiers. He helped the students he could to a hidden tunnel while still trying to make his way to you. It terrified him when he realized that he couldn’t smell your smoke. That meant that you weren’t fighting.

Hearing the front door slam open, Logan saw that Bobby, Rogue, and Pyro were standing there. Logan leapt off the railing with a roar, cutting down the soldiers in his way. 

“Let’s go,” Logan said, once the soldiers were down. He led them to another hidden passage, making sure the three students were in before shutting it.

“Logan!” Rogue yelled as she noticed Logan not following them.

Logan stood in the hallway as more soldiers came, claws out. “You wanna shoot me? Shoot me!”

“Don’t shoot him!” William Stryker ordered. “Not yet.” He walked down the hall, towards Logan. “Wolverine? Well, I must admit, this is certainly the last place I’d expect to find you. How long has it been? Twenty-two years? You haven’t changed one bit. Me, on the other hand,” he motioned to himself, “nature.”

Logan tensed, not recognizing the man. He looked over were he heard someone being dragged closer. It was you. You had a collar around your neck and unconscious. Logan’s jaw clenched as the man in front of him ran a finger down your face.

“She hasn’t changed a bit either,” Stryker said.

“Let her go,” Logan demanded. 

“It’s not surprising to find her here. But I didn’t realize Xavier was taking in animals. Even animals as unique as you.”

“Who are you?”

“You really don’t remember?” 

Flashes of memories played in his mind. You, Logan, and Stryker with other men, fighting. Stryker standing above Logan as he prepared for experimentation.

Stryker held your face in his hands. “Do you remember her?” He taunted. “How you cried over her body when I faked her death? Maybe this time it will be real.” He smirked. “Maybe, this time, she doesn’t come back from this.”

Logan roared but before he could charge, a thick wall of ice was separating him from you.

“No!” Logan yelled.

“Logan!” Rogue said, running up to him. “We’ve got to go!”

“They have her! They have Y/N!” He went to punch through the wall, but Rogue stopped him.

“We can’t do anything about that right now. We have to get out of here.”

“I can’t leave her!”

Stryker grabbed a bomb and connected it to the large wall of ice. Rogue pulled at Logan more urgently.

“We don’t have a choice! Come on!”

Logan glanced back at the wall before following the students into the hidden passage before the wall came crashing down. Stryker was angry to find Logan no longer there when the wall disappeared.

“Come on,” he ordered. “We need to get what he need and get out of here. It’s time to continue what we started Weapon XII.”

next chapter >

[im-out-of-it]

season 1, episode 11 continued

25. this is cutting towards Alec asking Magnus for help.

26. Magnus: you literally told me you’re getting married alec and here you are asking for help. whatever, I’ll do it 😭 FUCKING HELL HE IS SO FINE HERE

27. “it’s not about me or any of THAT (you mean you having an attraction to Magnus, alec) but it’s about my sister”

28. “are you referring to how your adorable fiancé is having Isabelle on trial for treason?”- ok Magnus is here to help but he needs to sort his mood out on Alec first 😭

29. but also can we talk about how this must make Magnus feel? it’s not Alec’s fault if he isn’t ready but Magnus just started opening his heart after centuries and he is basically just getting hurt all over again. no one is at fault here. Alec isn’t trying to hurt Magnus and Magnus understands that Alec is a traditional man who is trying to save his family’s honor

30. honestly funny how shadowhunters were so prejudiced (I mean it’s not but) against downworlders they would never have dreamed of a shadowhunter asking a downworlder for help. I just love how Magnus says this 💀

31. Magnus: you may be getting married but I have one more flirtation left in me

32. also Magnus makes literally everyone pay so heavily for his services but anytime alec needs his help, he’s like well it’s free of course. the only time Magnus didn’t want to help Alec was when he was “Magnus” (YALL know if you’ve seen the show)

33. Magnus at it with his flirting once more 🔥

34. Alec: I’m straight I’m straight I’m straight I can marry Lydia I can do this all I have to do it not look at Magnus that long and think of him and I will be fine (Alec’s internalized thoughts probably)

35. Magnus is like how the fuck did that not work? I’m clearly telling Alexander I like him but he’s just?????? he’s denying me again?????? in this attire?????

36. Magnus: fine. can’t say I didn’t try 🥹 “what else is important to you? what else tells me that your sister means enough for you to make a real sacrifice? oh I know” 😌

37. honestly though, give Magnus the A at least. he’s out here trying. he’s never getting angry with Alec for not being ready (cough cough book Magnus) and he’s never making Alec feel ashamed or that he has to come out (cough cough book Magnus) which I admire. this is why I’m glad they didn’t start “secretly dating” before they got together. I like this mouse and cat game a lot better. (and yes, I like the wedding scene alot better because it’s better than not even having a pov in the books and having it like one sentence. the wedding scene will always be more iconic in my rightful opinion)

38. because 1. you shouldn’t get into a relationship if you’re not ready. 2. Alec clearly has priorities he has to handle. and 3. it’s not fair on magnus if Alec dates him and makes him hide if he’s not ready and it’s not fair on Alec if Magnus makes him feel that he needs to come out

39. so yes, I will always shit on the books because they did Malec dirty

40. there is like one occasion where Magnus gives it one last effort but I don’t think he ever pushes Alec too far. he’s not saying shit like (I don’t remember the exact wording) but you have to come out alec because if you don’t, then you don’t love me and our love isn’t real” or whatever

41. I’m glad the show gave Alec the time and space to decide if he was ready to come out, be with Magnus, and also be with a downworlder

42. because there’s a difference between being a shadowhunter and dating a shadowhunter and dating a downworlder and also dating a vastly powerful warlock who can be a lothario. (Roberts words, not mine)

43. when you’re head of an institute and dating a powerful warlock, you’re obviously going to have issues that come up (cough cough season two)

44. and I’m happy the show was like: let’s give Alec time to decide if he’s ready to do this. but let’s not make him feel that he has to come out

[pureseasalt]

traces of ink (sydney x carmy)

made after seeing the post by @theladyvalkyrieskyeart​ . feeling insane over the idea of carmy drawing syd. i dont believe that he has never done it after meeting her the writers and cast are lying to us. 

posted on pureseasalt on ao3, but posting here again. no beta. i wrote this in one go and blacked out after.

Summary: He lied when he said he’d never drawn again until Claire. He did. Once. (Set pre-season 2. Carmy has a panic attack. Guess who he remembers to help him cope.)

Words: 1.7k

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It was probably the middle of the night. Carmy couldn’t be exact about that. His memory’s kinda fucked– been fucked, since Mikey, or even before that. There were times from high school when Mom would go full apeshit ‘cause she told him to get the phone, to make some calls or just to embarrass Sugar by letting her hear the fights she picks with the phone operator. “No- no, sweetheart, I said don’t fucking put me on hold ever again– yeah? Alright! Go fuck yourself!” Something like that. Anyway, Mom would get mad at him ‘cause she told him to get the phone and somehow, he’d just forget that she did. He’d insist, “I didn’t hear you, Ma!” And he’d believe that; that he didn’t really hear her because in his head it never happened. 

But somehow it always did. She’d tell him things that never seemed to have happened.

This one, he just couldn’t remember when he did, or why. 

Carmy does a lot of things that he could only truly understand the reason behind after the fact he’s done it. All he knew, at that time, was he couldn’t sleep. He’d woken up in cold sweat after having one of those nightmares. He was in the middle of the stage and there’s a stove right in front of him and Chef was there. At the very middle of the seats. No audience but him. The smell of gasoline pervaded but there was no fire burning. No one else in the theater but Carmy and a man who smiled at him like he was the only one who knew the lines. 

And just when Chef was about to say it– “You are an excellent chef,” Carmy’s hand collided with the coffee table, jolting him awake.

You are also a piece of– 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Carmy hissed as he cradled the smarting joints. He sat up feeling as if the world had ended in his sleep and he was the only one left. In many ways, at that point, he actually was. His sous and pastry chef had walked out on him without any notice. Carmy knew that it was only a matter of time until the rest would do the same, even Richie, because Carmy was Carmy and making people stay had never been his specialty. Look at Mikey. 

The lighter wasn’t anywhere to be found so smoking was out of the window. He couldn’t calm himself down. His heart was running ahead of him and he was practically lugging his body around the room, pacing around looking for a destination. Not there, he reprimanded as he thought about the restaurant. It all still felt so raw. If he went there now he might still hear his own voice, the same way his mother’s voice echoed past the kitchen and into the living room, invading whatever silence it finds and staying there. 

So he settled for the floor, next to the stack of cookbooks. The wood creaked beneath him as he crouched down, eventually sitting to fiddle with his thumbs and grip his hair by the roots. His breathing was still messed up, but at least he could see clearly. One book strayed from the rest, he even noticed. Fish Plate by Michelle Rhimes. Its hardbound cover was sticking out and didn’t lay flat like the last of its pages, on the account of something stuck inside. 

He picked it up and flipped through the table of contents; through honey-glazed tilapia and fish florentine. There was a pen clipped to a blank piece of paper. Well, not completely blank. Someone had scribbled 1 tbsp dried thym and didn’t bother finishing it. Must have been him. He knew it was him. That was the funny thing about memory.

His was fucked, yes, but there were details that his brain permanently latched on, sometimes whispering to him in bed like Angry Annie, his bully from first grade, recounting all his mistakes for the entire class to laugh at and refusing to just let him have a good night’s rest without wanting to hit himself. Carmy recalled that he’d written that note for his next door neighbor back in New York. This old couple that routinely asked him for a good trout recipe after they found out that he was a chef. Both of them were hard of hearing, so Carmy thought of writing it down. 

By the time he’d gotten around to doing it, they’d already moved out. 

The rainbow trout on page 79 stared back at him and Carmy blew air out through his nose. 

His brain had a knack for comedic timing.

The pink bellied fish looked exactly like the one on Sydney’s scarf. 

The one that seemed peach-pink sometimes under the midday sun. “I feel like I’m owed one,” she told him on one of those days when she wore it (Trout scarf, he’d labeled it in his head) (Nice scarf, looks beautiful, he sometimes wanted to say, but that was just weird). She ribbed him that time at the back of the restaurant, which he so rightfully deserved. 

What boss leaves the wrangling of a batshit, toxic system to a new hire so that he could attend an Al-Anon meeting and make sense of his brother. Who also happened to be dead. 

Asshole. 

Syd should’ve called him an asshole that day. 

She should’ve left that day.

Instead, she laid out her heart– “This place could be different,” in a manner so concise and cogent and honest that, by the end of it, he’s surprised he’s not wiped out on the floor mouthing, like the crazy that he is, "What the hell just happened.” Because that was more than he ever deserved at that moment. When she talked to him like that it was as if Carmy had been brought back to earth. Sobered up after a long life of passing through doors on nothing but frantic energy. Talked down, excluded, not called, shouted at. Then all of a sudden somebody sits him down and levels with him, tells him, “Hey, dude, I’m with you. Give me the respect I deserve. You’re not the only one in here. I’m with you. ”  

All he could do was nod to everything Syd was saying. 

And she laughed with him and she said, “Fuck brunch.”

Fuck brunch.

He shook his head. In the middle of a fucking panic attack and he’s chuckling. He looked down and realized that he’d been pressing the pen cap, leaving dashes of blue ink on the paper. Sydney did that too sometimes. 

She would repeatedly press the cap as she pondered over that little notebook. He always took notice of that when it happens, even from his office, because she did everything with precise intention. Her writing had a decisive rhythm; hurried, but it knew its destination. Never one to waste time. That was Syd. So those few minutes of her just… idly playing with the cap would make him pause and listen (Never look because that was weird). 

Carmy often wondered what she was thinking about.

Eventually, the clicking would be a steady white noise among the rattling of pots and pans. If he actually stills himself, mutes everything else in a way that he could only do when he’s cooking, he could hear her humming. Just a faint sound trickling through the grooves and corners of the kitchen. Carmy would then resume bookkeeping, feeling lighter about the world. He connected the dashes on the paper with uneven lines. Carmy never looked but he could see . 

Her brows scrunched together when she was deep in thought. Her lips slanted down in a pout. Trout scarf wrapped around her hair. 

It never occurred to him that the last time he’d drawn was in high school.

He only looked at what he’d done– Sydney leaning against the countertop– and thought:

I gotta do more . 

Sydney had a number of scarves, so it only made sense that he did everything, didn’t he?  Besides, it was a puzzle to him every morning what her criteria was for picking and choosing, because of course Sydney would have one. The one with the rays and orange leaves, he decided, is when she wakes up feeling giddy. Probably has an idea she wants to pitch. 

She came to work once in that, beaming. Her smile reached her cheeks. The sun was in her hair. She snorted loudly when she laughed. 

Carmy etched her head with lines that reached to the sky, like a halo. He felt good looking at it. 

Then, he decided to draw some more, even the ones that he knew would make him feel worse. It felt like disrespect to only put to paper the ones that made him feel good, because Carmy had made her feel bad too. More than she deserved. He had shot her down about the short rib and risotto, without the same grace that she’d decided to give him when he made mistakes. Syd wore that same orange scarf that day. 

Her eyes flinched. The light of promise died in there, darkening them. Her braids fell to her shoulders as they sank to Carmy’s rejection. 

Cross hatches made shadows around her face; although having finished it, Carmy found that he didn’t feel as shitty as he thought he would. Only, oddly determined, like he was telling himself, I gotta do more. I gotta do more. I gotta see her again.  

The blue scarf was for when she’s determined enough to knock down walls. Her gaze was sharp, straight ahead on the prize. Carmy drew that one in the middle of the paper. 

Fatigue knocked him down after the fifth…or was it the sixth? (It was the tenth.) (The side profile of her face, earrings dangling like stars.) When he woke up, it was already 11:30 AM. He was on the floor with his slacked fingers keeping the pen from rolling to the floor. 

The cookbook was open.

Different faces of the same woman were sketched on one sheet of paper, and some more on the spaces between the pages. 

—

The next time Carmy tells himself that he won’t draw again will be after Claire.

He will lie again.

The next time, however, Carmy will remember when he does it, and why.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Three Students pt 2

We are in (probably) Oxbridge and have a potential cheating scandal (quelle horreur!), three suspects and a "forgetful" servant who left the room to the papers unlocked.

Our suspects are: the hardworking 'manly' scholarship student (who needs the money), the Indian student (who knew the papers were there and may need the grade, but didn't get a lot of description so I think we're mostly supposed to suspect him because racism and opportunity??) and the rich lazy kid (who needs the grade because he hasn't done the work).

Place your bets, please.

“I should like to have a peep at each of them,” said Holmes. “Is it possible?” “No difficulty in the world,” Soames answered. “This set of rooms is quite the oldest in the college, and it is not unusual for visitors to go over them. Come along, and I will personally conduct you.”

You just let random strangers into your students' rooms?

There were some really curious pieces of mediaeval domestic architecture within. Holmes was so charmed with one of them that he insisted on drawing it on his note-book, broke his pencil, had to borrow one from our host, and finally borrowed a knife to sharpen his own.

I love how even in his later accounts, Watson pretends not to know that Holmes is putting on an act. Yes, he was taken with the architecture, this had no ulterior motive and absolutely wasn't to scope out the pencils and knife of the student. It was purely architecture-based enthusiasm that led to this.

The same curious accident happened to him in the rooms of the Indian...

Really? The same thing happened in that room!?

Also, I'm not going to bother comparing the descriptions of the two students because that way lies racism and I think we can all see it.

Only at the third did our visit prove abortive. The outer door would not open to our knock, and nothing more substantial than a torrent of bad language came from behind it. “I don't care who you are. You can go to blazes!” roared the angry voice. “To-morrow's the exam, and I won't be drawn by anyone.”

Honestly, good for you. They've got no business coming into your room anyway. And also, good for you for studying (if you're telling the truth) I don't remember your name random rich student, but so far as actually meeting you goes, I fully support you. Keep that door closed. Fuck the lot of them.

“A rude fellow,” said our guide, flushing with anger as we withdrew down the stair. “Of course, he did not realize that it was I who was knocking, but none the less his conduct was very uncourteous, and, indeed, under the circumstances rather suspicious.”

Or... not suspicious because he's the only one actually studying when there's an exam tomorrow that seems to be vitally important. (Sure, he might not be studying, maybe he has someone in there with him... in which case, also good for him, I guess).

“Can you tell me his exact height?” he asked. “Really, Mr. Holmes, I cannot undertake to say. He is taller than the Indian, not so tall as Gilchrist. I suppose five foot six would be about it.”

You what now?

He has a name! I don't remember it right now because you haven't mentioned it yet this section (I also don't remember the rich kid's name), but he has a name. You literally teach him. You know his name! Seriously? Seriously?

(His name is Daulat Ras, I checked the first part of the story. If it turns out to be him (which it won't because it's Gilchrist who doesn't appear to be studying even though he clearly has the most riding on this exam) then I am hereby pre-emptively pardoning him on grounds of his teacher being shit because he cannot be bothered to remember his name.)

Our guide cried aloud in his astonishment and dismay. “Good gracious, Mr. Holmes, you are surely not going to leave me in this abrupt fashion! You don't seem to realize the position. To-morrow is the examination. I must take some definite action to-night. I cannot allow the examination to be held if one of the papers has been tampered with. The situation must be faced.”

Calm down, my dude. It's really not the end of the world. Have a sit down, get a glass of brandy. Keep the brain fever at bay.

“The foul-mouthed fellow at the top. He is the one with the worst record. And yet that Indian was a sly fellow also. Why should he be pacing his room all the time?”

Thank you, Watson, for validating my suspicions by disagreeing with them. I always feel better about my ideas when they don't match yours. No thanks for the racism, but at least you didn't just choose Ras, and you're also giving a secondary reason for suspecting him.

“He looked at us in a queer way.”

... ahem.

“So would you if a flock of strangers came in on you when you were preparing for an examination next day, and every moment was of value."

Also that.

“Why, Bannister, the servant. What's his game in the matter?”

IKR, Holmes, you get me. You understand. Clearly the guy is overly worried and who walks all the way across the room to sit down when they're feeling faint.

But Bannister would have to be working with someone. Either one of the three, or a hypothetical fourth student he is related to. He could be related to Gilchrist, I guess. (What is rich boy's name? I still can't remember, luckily I am not his tutor, so I don't have to feel bad about it.)

“He impressed me as being a perfectly honest man.”

Watson, my sweet summer child. Apart from all your many faults, biases and prejudices, you are so naive and trusting.

All were agreed that one could be ordered, but that it was not a usual size of pencil and that it was seldom kept in stock.

Does Bannister have, like, some illness that means he can't hold standard-sized pencils? Arthritis of some kind? But everyone seems pretty sure that he's not directly lying about anything. Unless he is cunning and running a whole business of copying translations then selling them to students.

"By Jove! my dear fellow, it is nearly nine, and the landlady babbled of green peas at seven-thirty. What with your eternal tobacco, Watson, and your irregularity at meals, I expect that you will get notice to quit and that I shall share your downfall"

Yeah, Watson. This is clearly your fault. How dare you! The poor landlady making you peas when you're dragging Holmes out to stationers at all hours. You should be ashamed of yourself.

At eight in the morning he came into my room just as I finished my toilet.

Yet again, I know toilet had a different meaning, but picturing Holmes walking into the bathroom while Watson's literally sitting on the toilet and the two of them carrying out a perfectly normal conversation is hilarious to me.

"I have put in two hours' hard work and covered at least five miles, with something to show for it. Look at that!” He held out his hand. On the palm were three little pyramids of black, doughy clay.

Ah yes, the random clay, which all I can think of is putty eraser or some sort of carbon copy thing.

“You will kindly close the door,” said Holmes. “Now, Bannister, will you please tell us the truth about yesterday's incident?”

Yeah, Bannister. Are you secretly the head of a cheating ring?

“Well, then, I must make some suggestions to you. When you sat down on that chair yesterday, did you do so in order to conceal some object which would have shown who had been in the room?”

Ah, yeah, that makes sense. Whoever did do it was kind of rubbish at covering their tracks clearly this is not something they do often.

“There was no man, sir.”

So it's either a girl, or Odysseus...?

He was a fine figure of a man, tall, lithe, and agile, with a springy step and a pleasant, open face.

Seriously, Watson, we get it, you think he's hot. You've been very lonely since your wife died. You don't need to describe how hot he is every time we see him.

Wait, it was the tutor who had that weird use of 'manly' the first time around, wasn't it?

If Gilchrist turns out to be a girl in disguise that line is going to be so funny.

"We want to know, Mr. Gilchrist, how you, an honourable man, ever came to commit such an action as that of yesterday?” The unfortunate young man staggered back and cast a look full of horror and reproach at Bannister. “No, no, Mr. Gilchrist, sir; I never said a word—never one word!” cried the servant.

Well now you have. People really need to get better at committing crimes. After it's happened, you know nothing about anything. No matter how much people ask or how much they claim to know, you know nothing. You are blissfully ignorant of the whole affair. What affair? Oh, someone's cheating? How terrible!

“No, but you have now,” said Holmes.

Is this the first documented use of this trope? Because it can't have happened much before now.

The Indian I also thought nothing of.

His name.

Is.

DAULAT RAS!

"Such an idea was absurd. I was measuring how tall a man would need to be in order to see as he passed what papers were on the central table. I am six feet high, and I could do it with an effort."

So all Watson's descriptions were just to point out how tall Gilchrist is? That's all?

"He put his shoes on the table. What was it you put on that chair near the window?” “Gloves,” said the young man.

Dude. My dude. You wear the gloves. I know this story was published a year before the first use of fingerprints in a criminal case in England, but my dude. You do not leave your gloves on a chair.

“Yes, sir, I have, but the shock of this disgraceful exposure has bewildered me. I have a letter here, Mr. Soames, which I wrote to you early this morning in the middle of a restless night. It was before I knew that my sin had found me out. Here it is, sir. You will see that I have said, ‘I have determined not to go in for the examination. I have been offered a commission in the Rhodesian Police, and I am going out to South Africa at once.’”

...well that's a twist.

You're seriously going to leave the country and go be a colonialist police officer in Africa. Because... you cheated on a test. Leaving the country seems a bit extreme.

"Time was, sir, when I was butler to old Sir Jabez Gilchrist, this young gentleman's father. When he was ruined I came to the college as servant, but I never forgot my old employer because he was down in the world. I watched his son all I could for the sake of the old days."

So not related to him, but associated with him. Yeah, that tracks. Servants are so loyal in these stories (apart from when they aren't, I suppose).

Another person called Jabez.

"As to you, sir, I trust that a bright future awaits you in Rhodesia. For once you have fallen low. Let us see in the future how high you can rise.”

I mean... I'm not entirely comfortable with this turn of events. I feel like 'police officer in the colonial British Empire' is pretty low, in the grand scheme of things.

And I never was reminded what the rich kid's name was, and I think I'm going to leave it that way. ACD needs to stop forgetting character's names, it makes it far too easy to guess who the culprit is. Also, it makes all your characters more racist.

Is it that guy, that guy, or Mr Diddit?

Next time, The Solitary Cyclist, which is one of my favourites, so I probably won't be speculating as I've read it a lot.

[arcplaysgames]

yeah because Mitsuo is not the killer, I know this, you know this, we all know this

if finding a fake killer gets me tuna tho i'm in, i'll frame a man every day, i don't care

WAIT WAIT THE STORYBOOK FROM THE SUN LINK IN P3P GOT PUBLISHED? Man its a dark children's book. Beautiful but nihilistic. You know the kids who read that are going to have a lot of difficult questions their parents do not wanna answer. Good, though.

Summer Festival! Nanako is adorable. AND GET THIS. BRACE YOURSELVES. MAKE SURE YOU ARE SITTING DOWN AND HOLDING ONTO SOMETHING.

DOJIMA ACTUALLY SHOWS UP TO TAKE CARE OF HIS DAUGHTER. I KNOW. I KNOOOOOOW. Shocking. Usually this girl is being raised by six teenagers and the human personification of a mascot character.

A STUNNING turn of events!

Teddie is such a manipulator lmao. First he suggests everyone pair off to enjoy the festival bc That's What You Do At Festivals, then gets the boys deliberating who should go with who, then while everyone is all turned around, he swoops in to take all the girls out around the festival so no one is 'left out.'

lmao. i love Teddie. I'm actually trying to pin down why Yosuke's horny boy bullshit annoys me but Teddie does not. It may be because he's SO flagrant about it, he's SO over the top, you know going in its a Yes, And scenario. Or, you can slap him, lmao.

After, Rise invited me out to a one on one date to the festival. She's very funny and boisterous but I think I'm friendzoning everyone in this playthru. I haven't found anyone I wanna date. And I know there is one more option coming so I don't want to accidentally pen myself in, like with Akihiko and late-comer Aigis. Poor Aigis.....

Not about to let anyone begin to assume he's a good dad, over in the Hierophant SLink, Dojima reveals that his wife died in a hit and run while Nanako was in nursery school. Which explains why Nanako barely remembers her.

Dojima's whole deal is that he's still working that case, still trying to find out who killed his wife. He claims its for Nanako, that someday in the future, she'll appreciate it.

And listen. The trauma of your spouse being murdered is not a joke. That's really heavy stuff. Your life falls apart as a pillar is just suddenly taken out, and surviving the loss of that kind of load-bearing structure is very fucking hard. I got zero judgement there.

However. Nanako doesn't give a shit. Her mother is a distant figure that doesn't affect her life anymore but via her absence. There is zero doubt in my mind that Nanako would remember Dojima more fondly as a man who stepped up to be her fucking father rather than having the closure for, sorry, a woman she has likely already forgotten the face of.

So again: get your shit together, Dojima.

SUMMER BEACH EPISODE. lmao poor kanji on his bike. also, Teddy is in bear mode. WHY is Teddie in bear mode? That seems much harder to travel with.

I'm not even gonna squint at Yosuke. Yosuke, someday, you will look back on your youth and feel so goddamn embarrassed at yourself. You are the very model of a modern repressed bisexual.

LMAO irl cackling. his response is so blaise. "why would i????" hahaha

lmao i missed it but chie and kanji were racing at like mach speed.

Of course because we need shenanigans, Teddie has been pulling at swimsuits to no avail. Well, almost no avail.

Hey, what is with the lightning bruiser boys and their tiny swimsuits, lmao. We are creating such a Specific trope here with them, it's bemusing. The venn diagram is something all right.

(Wait i JUST fucking noticed that Kanji has a fucking scar in the exact same place Akihiko does. What the fuck. That is a WILD coincidence.)

FUCKING YOSUKE AND REVERIE'S AVERTED GAZES LMAO. gdi teddie.

the voice acting here is a fucking treat, i cannot tell you enough.

everyone's doing amazing, sweetie

compared to the spring camping trip, this is a ten out of ten

[knowlessman]

just start watching a new anime season at 1 am knowless, that's a normal person thing to do. (bnha s5e1-e6)

(recap, prominence burn) yeah that's gonna do the ole ozone a frighten. I think exxon-mobil is jealous -- oh yeah I forgot mineta was in this show. that was nice while it lasted.

"emergency drill, hypothetical villains have infiltrated ua grounds" hypothetical villains you say? they let gentle thief out of jail that early?

"About 80% of the human population -" have taken and failed the hero course and become shitty villains about it, yes, we know

ooh, new opening… I think? or maybe it's just been that long. -- shinso! it's shinso the homestuck! yo, it's all of class B! there's the dark souls helmet person, and the geico caveman, and the goomba girl (who apparently does have mushroom powers, judging from the outfit)! -- does shinso have attack ribbons like Eraser Head now? huh

(character intros) didn't realize heroes needed a special adjective in addition to their hero name

part of yaoyorozu's costume includes a book? an encyclopedia of some kind, I guess. in case she has to do physics-y problem-solving stuff on the job and create complex rigs. neat.

aoyama definitely doesn't have the kneepad lasers and stuff he did in the movie. maybe he gets 'em this season? maybe I or whatever site I got the watch order from was completely wrong about when to watch it? who knows

oh shit it's 2-D, y'all are fucked

just realized, I don't think we know what Hado's quirk is. (eh, more likely I just forgot)

pffft bakugo still couldn't figure out a name 'XD "if you won't let me call myself God Explosion Murder I will turn to face god and walk backwards into hell" -- welp, amajiki's dead. gorillaz needs a new lead -- wait did bakugo actually just kill him

(fucking marvel after credits scene) "that's the same pose all might did, isn't it" "no, I used my left arm, it's different" frowny man in a nutshell I guess -- also dancing boy's here, how about that

"episode 2: vestiges" after code vein that word is never not gonna make me think of spiky red crystals that put you in long-winded it's-a-small-world-ass memory lane dealies. so annoying they made you walk through them when they could just be cutscenes. at least when fallout 4 did the same exact thing, you could activate specific things in the scenes for additional lore.

"I heard you killed Snatch" I don't remember him either, but with a hero name like that, I could miss him more

"that's a bad scar." …ohhhhhhh shiiiiit 'XDDD damn, last time I remember this "oh-shit-somebody-just-waved-the-flag-at-the-bull" feeling was reading that one bit in, uhhhhhhhh I think it was the second Inheritance Trilogy book. …I don't interact with stories that do that very often okay, most stories that do that are probably too traumatic for my tastes

oh yeah, the thing with the Avatar spirits. the Allvatar spirits. -- (all for one showing off) "this one longing to be thinner, this one wants to get the girl and I help them! yes I do" -- "vestiges of the previous owners" wait so this is literally like the vestiges from code vein then

…I thought shinso was in class B? eh, idfk

…lolwtf it's capture the flag but the flags are the players, this is wild

oh so asui can turn invisible now. she just… can do that. fancy.

k so shiozaki is poison ivy. I remember her vs kaminari being funny, but I forget why. could be she used feminine wiles, he doesn't make that hard to do -- is shiozaki's hero costume white robes because something something crown of thorns something something jesus, or am I reading too much into it

…bahahahahaha 'XD THAT's how shinso's quirk works! I forgot! they just gave him a voice changer!

"you used me as a decoy… what a sinful act" okay I was right about the jesus thing then. "now I must whip you" o-kay, potential weewoo tier then

(flashback to like the first ua invasion) …huh. froppy mentioned the toxic mucus thing way back then. also they are 100% gonna make her use that stomach thing someday and everybody is going to regret it

come to think of it, eraser head mentoring shinso does make a lot of sense. both of them have quirks whose only application involves taking agency away from other people, so there would've been an assumption that they must either be a hero or a villain. both chose hero, but still can't escape the correlation and the fear that other people would have of them.

ditto's costume (a fancy suit, it looks like) is pretty stupid for a guy who might have to accommodate for who knows what kind of new quirk on the fly. what if he needs to be able to grow wings or other limbs? what if he has to create materials out from his skin? he needs a teenage-sized version of Jack-Jack's onesie. "I didn't know the baby's powers, so I covered the basics."

okay so tokoyami and this kuroiro guy is a ship that just builds itself, huh -- (dark shadow's glitching out) "what is it? what's going on?" disagreeing with something he ate -- aw, kuroiro doesn't have a hero name yet… come to that, I forget what tokoyami's is

(flashback) "if you're not even letting me do anything, why did you pick me?" "we're birds of a feather." okay no yeah this hawks guy sucks

(tokoyami flying) deku: "it's as simple as columbus's egg idea!" columbus had an idea? wonder who he stole that from. … "an apocryphal story in which columbus, on being told that finding a new trade route was inevitable and no great accomplishment, challenged his critics to make an egg stand on its tip. columbus did it himself by tapping the egg on the table to flatten the tip." so, allegedly, columbus cheated in order to justify talking his stupid ass up. also the story's a ripoff of an earlier story about an architect, so that answers my follow-up question.

…and do these mushrooms, like, do anything? granted, they foil hagukure's invisibility and that's pretty neat, and I guess they give cover for kuroiro, but unless they also do cool weird shit they seem more like a nuisance to clean up after than anything else.

and how did they even find out kuroiro can control dark shadow without meeting tokoyami?

aoyama's hero name sucks

the mushrooms really don't do anything then. they aren't poisonous, they don't, idk, mind-control people or sap energy, they can't even grow really big…

kunikida wishes he had yaoyorozu's brains

"hey DM, I can cast Create Mushrooms targeting the space inside his lungs, right?" ah k so they do do anything at all

wait damn that was six episodes? uh, yeah, guess I'd better give it a rest

[midnightxscape]

i'm reading a book rn which is the sequel of another, but it's the exact same story, except that it's from the other lover's perspective. And basically, one of the main things that character goes through is the loss of his grand-father, and how close he was to him. So, now, in this book with his perspective, there are flashbacks of moments with his grand-father, going out for ice-cream, exploring parts of the city they live in together, listening to music, just spending time together and his grand-father being so full of love and care. And the more i read, the more i want to cry. Because i constantly see these tight-knit relationships that grand-kids have with their grand-parents be it in the media or in real-life, and that makes me ache so badly. Because i never had that, and maybe i'm romantizing the living shit out of this, all the while being aware that it's not always perfect, but i feel like i'm missing out on one of the purest forms of family love that can exist. My paternal grand-parents died when i was quite young and i have very few memories with them. My maternal grand-parents were always there when i was growing up, and i'd stay at theirs when my parents were at work, and quite frankly, i think my love for walking and nature has been instilled in me by my grand-mother. But other than that? Yes, i had a roof over my head, but i think that's when i first started feeling out of place. I recall never being able to talk, fearing my grand-father's snarky remarks, the ways they'd always compare my cousins and i, how they'd constantly criticize everybody. I remember walking on egg-shells when my grand-father was there, staying as quiet and discreet as possible. I remember his angry demeanor, his angry words and the ways he'd judge everything. I remember how strict he was and how i just wanted to disappear every time he was home.

And now i'm well into my twenties, and every now and then, i'm struck by how much my grandparents don't love me, or at least, i don't think i have ever felt loved by them. My grand-mother says "i love you" when she hangs up the phone, and i don't believe it. I can go months without seeing them, and i don't even miss them. I'm angry at them all the time, for the shit they pull, and the drama they refuse to see and/or cause. When i'm left alone in the room with my grand-father, i don't know what to talk about, and then i see how easily my sister makes conversation with him.

I think more than anything, i always long for the feeling of belonging, of being loved for who i am, and not masking that in any way. So when i read a beautifully written storie about a queer boy whose grand-father was his biggest supporter, i ache in ways that feel like tiny paper cuts on my soul.

[sukirichi]

closer | gojo satoru x reader

a/n: aaah my first ask and it’s a request! thanks so much this is so kind and sweet of you 🥺 and here it is! I’m not sure if it’s exactly what you wanted but I hope you like it anyway! 

summary: in which Gojo has the need to be closer to you after a long day of hard work

pairings: jealous! Gojo x reader

warnings: none, other than this isn’t proofread! (This is just a fluffy domestic short fic!)

masterlist ! 

The best part about being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer isn’t the power (although Gojo basks in that too) but rather the fact that he allows himself to completely tear his walls down and be putty in your hands once he comes home from work.

Gojo would never say it out loud that the best part of his days is waking up next to you, pressing kisses in your still sleepy face and you whining for five more minutes, then watching as you wobble like a penguin to the shower so you can start your day. Although he doesn’t really ask much from you, his heart still swells every time you make him a sandwich, kiss it and claim that it’s “made with love” before he proudly shows off his ‘breakfast’ of the day to his students.

Even in work, he still thinks of you. It’s quite impossible for this man to stop thinking of you; you and him never left that honeymoon phase even after two years of marriage and a much longer time of dating.

He could be exorcising a curse then get distracted afterwards after seeing an Italian restaurant that he just knows you’ll love. Next thing you know, Gojo flicks his wrist and exorcises the curse in a flash before hopping into that restaurant to look at the menu. Loving is knowing; Gojo takes the time to see if the restaurant would be respectful of your allergies every time before booking reservations.

It’s no secret that this man is completely enamoured with you, if his sappy good morning kisses accompanied with light, teasing touches down your legs is not an indication already. Gojo is confident and feels safe in your relationship and he’s never the type to get jealous because Gojo is Gojo – who else would be better than him for you?

Or at least that’s what he used to believe, until he comes home with a bag of pumpkin spice bread for you, arms wide open and a “Darling~” about to leave his lips when he sees your current predicament.

Nanami is leaning against one of the chairs in your cafe downstairs from your home, the usual stoic man’s lips and cheekbones slightly raised in laughter as you tell him something about your day. Gojo can’t exactly understand the worse falling from your lips because he’s too focused on the way you’re leaning forward, eyes absolutely crinkled into half-moons while you share a strawberry tart with him. Gojo sees the cups of tea have already been emptied, meaning Nanami has been here for a much longer time than he is welcomed.

Gojo clenches his jaw. He’s told you many times you should get a bell so you’d know when a customer comes in, but now he’s thankful you’re stubborn and refused to have one because he can hide in one of the propped up tables and chairs hidden in the darkness.

He can’t help the sigh he releases. He’s late – like he always is.

You’re a regular human who isn’t able to see curses. You’ve only ever known about their existence ever since you started dating Gojo, but other than that, you’re completely unaware of how these things work. It doesn’t bother Gojo. In fact, he quite likes that he can be just a regular man around you, and he basks in the comfort of not having to worry about your safety if ever you were also like him.

He met you when you were just still a barista who helped your boss bake from time to time. Gojo was only a student then who hopped from one cafe to another in search of the best delicacy, but he got more than what he bargained from when he met the fresh-faced and bubbly young woman standing behind the counter whose smile was sweeter than the most sugary dessert you’ve ever made.

As the two of you grew older, Gojo supported you in building your own cafe since you’re so passionate about it and it’s been your dream since childhood.

He still remembers how you’d spend hours in the kitchen trying out new ingredients, so much so that you forget to eat on most days. Gojo is left with the task of literally hauling your ass up upstairs and force you to shower with him. You lie that you’re not really tired, but the moment his skilled hands roll the tension out of your shoulders, a contented and grateful sigh paints those lips he loves to kiss.

One of the things Gojo loves doing with you is taste-testing. He’s not around the house most of the time when you work since he’s a busy man himself, but on the days he actively chooses to annoy Principal Yaga and go AWOL, he’d sit obediently on the counter and let you use him as your own taste experimenting dummy.

When night falls and you’re just about ready to head to bed; satisfied and proud of another day of hard work, Gojo comes home early to help you clean up the cafe and prop the furniture so you don’t overstrain your muscles.

Or at least, he wants to come home early to help you. It’s just that he often gets carried away on his missions and stays behind a lot longer than he’d like because the world of curses is extremely demanding. After seeing that you probably already lifted all these heavy chairs and cleaned up everything by yourself even when you’re tired, and you still have the ability to smile and laugh like that in Nanami’s presence when he should be the one on the receiving end, Gojo is unable to fight back the twisting feeling that pools in his stomach.

Forcing a huge grin on his face, Gojo loudly smacks the paper bag in the table between you and Nanami, his hands resting on the blond’s shoulder who only groans at his presence. “Yo!” He greets, winking when your eyes gleam brighter now that your husband is home.

There’s no trace or hint of anything that could indicate you’re upset with him because he didn’t come home early. Instead, you bow and excuse yourself while picking up your cups and the small plate where remnants of your signature tart had been, and Gojo watches with longing eyes as you disappear in the back room.

Now that you’re gone, Gojo drops in your seat, takes off his blindfold, and glares at Nanami. “Nanamin,” he drawls out. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here – getting chummy with my wife, no less.”

Gojo knows he’s being petty and childish. Of course he is. This is Nanamin we’re talking about; the man is as frigid and stone and he’s as interested in romantic relationships as much as he respects Gojo Satoru. Plus, it’s you, and you have eyes for Gojo and Gojo only, but it’s also Gojo Satoru who’s mixed in the formula, and he’s not the least bit ashamed that he’s being immature right now.

Of course he’s jealous. Of course he’s possessive.

You’re his sweet, little wife – of course he doesn’t like it.

As if reading his mind but couldn’t be bothered to deal with him, Nanami slides an envelope across the table. “Ijichi took a sick leave so he couldn’t give this to you. I was tasked to hand it over to you instead so I came around. It’s not my fault you come home late and your wife insisted I have a short meal before I came home,” Gojo opens his to retort something stupid when you emerge from the back, pretty face tired yet still patient as ever.

“Leaving already, Nanami?” You smile up at him, hand slipping through Gojo’s bigger and rough ones. He doesn’t know why the gesture leaves him stunned, especially when you step close enough that he feels your heat on this sudden cold night. He’s so entranced by everything about you he doesn’t even notice the blond bidding his farewell.

Gojo watches as you turn to face him, smaller hands reaching up to caress his face. Now that his blindfold is gone, his hair falls down to forehead, your dainty fingers brushing them away from his eyes so you could marvel in its beauty.

Like a little kid, he melts into a puddle when you do that exact eye-smile he’s seen you do with Nanami, only this time, it’s reserved, private, and intimate.

Gojo shuts his eyes in the process, nearly stumbling forward, which he doesn’t really let happen with anyone because he’s the Gojo Satoru; strongest jujutsu sorcerer. But you don’t mind, you never do, and if anything it only makes you laugh when he pretends to be deadweight by collapsing into the crook of your neck.

“What a big baby,” you tease with your hand rubbing up and down his back in a soothing motion, all the tiredness and exhaustion from his day disappearing into thin air.

“Yes,” he concedes as he follows you up the stairs where you both change into your pyjamas and settle in for the night. “But I’m your big baby.”

The nickname makes you laugh, head thrown back as giggles erupted in your chest. You’ve already removed your makeup, hair down from your work hairnet and flowing in loose waves. Gojo stifles a gasp then, because you’re in his arms, in his bed, smelling like him, and you’re so soft, so free, so vulnerable and the way you lean into his shoulders while he rubs his cheek on the crown of your head makes him feel like he’s falling in love all over again.

He’ll never get tired of this – of you.

The mere thought of seeing you with someone else that isn’t him doesn’t sit well with Gojo. Now he understands why he’s so jealous and immature – it’s because he hasn’t wanted anyone or anything as much as he loves you.

He can’t imagine a life where he’ll wake up to his mornings without your limbs sprawled across his longer ones, or how he may never hear your sleep talks about birds and butterflies; which is utterly ridiculous, but because it’s you, he finds it adorable. Sometimes Gojo wonders how he ever even lived before meeting, but of course, those were days filled with nothing but him doing weird stupid shit.

Not that he’s stopped doing that, but now at least he’s doing those weird stupid with you.

And he only ever wants to share those with you, so he doesn’t and will never allow anyone else to take what’s rightfully his. You’re his wife, the love of his life, the sunshine in his mornings and the sunset of his beautiful dusk.

He doesn’t care if he’s petty – he’s got every right to be jealous because Gojo Satoru never shares what’s his.

When his mind races back to the way you smile for Nanami again, his hold on you grows tighter. You don’t complain when Gojo suddenly presses his lips into yours, a breathy moan blessing his ears once he finally moves on top of you. Gojo runs his hand under your – his – shirt, letting those talented hands of his roam upon the expanse of his skin like an artwork he’ll never get tired of looking at.

“Missed you,” he mumbles in between the lip-locking, leaning closer when your nails start to scratch his scalp as a way to soothe him from the night. Nothing about the kiss is hurried or fervent; rather, it’s calm and steady, slow and passionate, much like how everything he feels for you is similar to a calm, rainy day where he’ll stay in with a hot cup of chocolate.

You’re home – warmth and comfort – and you know you’re his just as he knows he’s yours, but it doesn’t stop him from kissing you like he wants you to never forget that.

You shiver when Gojo’s fingers tickle your ribcage, that spot always having been sensitive. Your husband swipes his tongue over your lips that still tastes like strawberries from your lipbalm, and he groans, falling forward when you allow him access into your sweet, sweet mouth. Meanwhile, you travel down from his hair into those broad, strong shoulders that always seemed like a fortress to you.

Gojo was so big and strong compared to you. There’s no denying he could easily break you if he wanted to, but he’s nothing but gentle – perhaps a little eager – when he holds you like this.

There’s no memory of how you end up on top of his lap that night with the covers barely strewn across your bodies, Gojo’s back pressing into the bed frame that’s witnessed endless nights of passion. His hands then run over your hips, squeezing it a little too hard until you rut against his hips.

“Hmm,” you moan into his mouth at the friction, while Gojo only smirks at your reaction. Even after years, you’re still so sweet, sensitive, and responsive – he just can’t get enough of it. “Satoru,” the way you say his name is so breathy, almost as if it’s a secret only the two of you should know, so he listens intently at your next words. “You’re a little needy tonight. Did something happen?”

“No,” he lies, smiling to himself once he sees your lips are red and bruised. He’s sure he looks the same, but your eyes are glossed over with love that he can’t resist you pulling you to him as if the space offends him. He trails his lips down to your neck to leave red patches of marks that claims you as his – not that the gold wedding band on your fingers wasn’t doing the job already.

Like the good girl you are, you tilt your head and allow him to do as he pleases. He sucks, licks, kisses and nips at the skin, all the while careful to not hurt you or push you over to the edge since both of you are too tired for the day to ever do anything.

Your head drops to the crook of his neck then, arms wrapped around his shoulders loosely as if you trusted him to catch you whenever you fall – and you know he will. He always will.

Later on, you grow sleepy at the way he starts to pepper kisses into your skin that addictingly smells like cinnamon and vanilla all at the same time. Gojo chuckles to himself at how peaceful you look in that moment, draped over him like a tiny puppy who lives in a world too big for themselves, but that’s not true.

You’re bigger than the universe itself, larger than the vast galaxies he held beneath those eyes, and Gojo finally stops being jealous.

There’s no need to be, after all, not when he’s the one you trust wholeheartedly to tuck you in bed while your soft breathing lulls him into slumber as well. Gojo flicks the lamp off with his finger, not wasting another second before he scoots closer, closer, closer until there’s no more recollection of where you begin and where he ends.

He stands corrected in his statement.

He’ll never get tired of this, of you, for you’re bigger than the universe itself and there’s still a lot of space between the two of you that he can’t wait to cross until your worlds crash and burn.

“Next time,” he promises before kissing your eyelids, “I’ll come home earlier.”

[messers-moony]

Tomorrow | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Wife!Reader

Summary: James is nervous to marry Lily so he asks his best friend how he managed to marry his wife.

A/N: I know that this is vote number one instead of number two (which won) however, I decided to scrap what I had for number two because it wasn’t good. This is better and I’ll continue to rewrite number two until it’s to my standards. I hope you understand.

His hands were sweaty. He was nervously pulling his hair which received multiple slaps from his best friend for ruining his hair. James stepped foot in the full-length mirror readjusting his bow tie while Sirius stood behind him, chuckling at his nervous best friend.

James sighed, “How’d you do it, Pads?”

“Mm?”

“How did you marry Y/n?”

Sirius chuckled, “Have you turned daft?”

James tilted his head in confusion, “You were my best man! You were there the entire time.” Sirius replied playfully.

“No, no, I mean, how did you really do it? Like step on the altar and marry her?”

“I just did?” Sirius answered, and James gave him a look, “Bullshit.”

“Okay, fine! Fine!” Sirius relented, “I was practically shitting myself. Y/n means a lot to me, ya’ know?”

James was silent, letting his best friend rant about his wife, “Y/n means everything to me. She’s been with me through thick and thin. There’s nothing more I wanted than to marry her even if it was in the midst of this war.”

“You’ve been chasing Lily for years, mate. I can promise you that she wouldn’t have said yes if she didn’t really want to.” Sirius assured.

“You’re sure?” James inquired insecurely, “I’m one hundred percent sure.”

A knock resonated on the door with a soft voice on the other side, “It’s just me!”

The female voice on the other side of the door walked in, styled h/c hair and makeup placed upon her face. She was greeted with Sirius, and a hug pulled tightly into his chest. She saw James looking at them nervously, and she let go of Sirius to hug James tightly.

“You’re going to be okay? I promise.” She stated, pulling apart to look at his hazel eyes, “Lily loves you. Godric, she loves you more than anything!”

“Thanks, Y/n.” James smiled softly, and Y/n pulled her lips to his ear to whisper, “Lily’s liked you since second year.”

James and Y/n laughed as they pulled apart, “But that stays between us!”

“Oi!” Sirius interjected playfully, “Taking my wife, are you?”

“Never.” James replied smiling, all nerves having left, “Thank you both for being here. Seriously it means a lot to me.”

They smiled, “Anytime.”

Someone cracked open the door and spoke, “We need the maid of honor and the best man so we can start.”

“Suppose that’ll be us?” Sirius questioned teasingly, “I think so.” Y/n smiled.

Y/n kissed James’ cheek, “You’ll do fine, and we’ll see you soon.”

“Of course, Mrs.Black.”

Sirius wrapped his arm around Y/n as they walked out to the aisle and altar. Sirius took his spot on the right and Y/n on the left. Smiling at each other from the side, remembering what it was like only a few months ago when they got married. When Lily was in the maid of honor spot and James was in the best man spot. Now roles were reversed.

James stepped out, gaining a reassuring smile from them both. Lily following not too far after with her father. James and Lily looked like lovesick puppies. It was adorable. Vows were exchanged, and tears were shed, especially from James and Lily. On the alter, someone took pictures of the four of them together. Sirius told an absurd joke making them all laugh. A picture was taken at the exact moment.

It was nice. Y/n and Sirius sat at a table together. His arm was around her shoulders as they watched their best friends dance together and laugh together. Sirius took the clips out of his wife’s hair and scratched her scalp, causing her to move into his hand. Multiple hours of clips in Y/n’s hair gave her headache, and Sirius was relieving it.

“Feel nice, love?”

“Yes, these bloody clips. Make sure you save them. I’m going to throw them at Lily later.” Y/n stated, and Sirius chuckled, “Mhm, okay.”

Hours later, James and Lily began to act like fools. Y/n picked up one of the clips from the table, aiming precisely with some help from Sirius - a former Quidditch Beater - and threw it at her. At first, she didn’t notice, but after the third one, she did. The smile on her face was unmistakable.

Lily picked up the three clips and turned toward her maid of honor with her hair down completely. Another one was thrown at her, and Lily laughed loudly. Then one was thrown at Y/n and Sirius. Fortunately, Lily threw it and missed Y/n completely, instead hitting Sirius right in the face. James, Lily, and Y/n were laughing like the only people in the building.

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, “Control your wife, Prongs!”

Y/n stood up, reaching a hand out for Sirius, “C’mon Siri. Let’s go join them.”

Sirius smirked and took her hand, joining their best friend dancing together, jumping around like fifth-year Gryffindors in the common room. They looked like complete idiots, but that didn’t matter. Lily and Y/n holding hands, twirling each other around, laughing together. James and Sirius began to throw the clips at each other. Remus and Peter were on the side watching the idiots.

Lily and Y/n traded. Y/n danced with James, and Lily danced with Sirius. The girls could remember back in sixth year complaining about their boyfriends in the girl's dorms but always remembering that they love their idiots. When the night was over, just the four of them at Godrics Hollow, they just laughed the night away.

“So, Mrs.Potter, how’s it feel?” Y/n teased, “Surprisingly, it feels great.” Lily replied.

“How about you, Mrs.Black?”

“Being married to Sirius is a dream.” Y/n joked, “No, no, but in all seriousness, he’s delightful, sweeter than I imagined.”

Lily’s eyebrows quirked, “What’s he like?”

“Perfect?” Y/n replied, “Does laundry, cooks, cleans, makes my coffee every morning before order stuff?”

“Mother of Merlin! I never would’ve expected-“ Lily exclaimed, “I know! It’s crazy!” Y/n interrupted.

“We got lucky, didn’t we?”

“Indeed we did, sister.”

They clinked their glasses of firewhiskey together. Both girls finally married, finally together. Lily and Y/n hit the motherload with their husbands. Both were gentlemen and chivalry experts. Both girls fell asleep together on the couch, leaving both boys to bring them to bed. Sirius and Y/n in the guest bedroom. James and Lily in their bedroom.

The following morning the four of them woke up. Lily and Y/n were making breakfast while the two men tried to help despite having no knowledge of cooking. Two hours later, breakfast was made and being eaten at the dinner table. Clinks of forks and sounds of chewing were the only sounds coming from the table.

Until Sirius spoke up, “So, how was yesterday, newlyweds?”

“Perfect.” James answered, Sirius then turned to Lily, “Despite everything going on, I think we really needed it.”

Y/n nodded, “Completely agree. It was nice to let loose for a couple of hours.”

The conversation then went quiet, “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” Said James solemnly.

“Yesterday was great, but what we don’t know is the future, and I know that right now it’s a dark time. It’s probably one of the lowest points I’ve been in my life. My parents being terribly sick, the Dark Lord on the rise supposedly. Everything seems to be going in a downhill spiral.”

“But for the first time in months, yesterday I felt like a first-year at Hogwarts performing my first prank. I felt like that second-year who blew up Y/n’s cauldron for fun. The third-year who decided it’d be a brilliant idea to dye Sirius’ hair pink.” James stated as everyone laughed, “Let’s just say I didn’t have hair for a week.” He murmured.

“Fourth year when I stole Remus’ book, and he nearly killed me. Fifth-year, when I turned into an animagus for Moony. Sixth year when Lily finally decided to give me a chance. Seventh year when we blew up fireworks in the Great Hall for the graduating class of 1978.”

“Not knowing what tomorrow brings leaves us anxious and nervous. But there’s one thing I’m sure of.” James informed, “That if anything ever happens to me, just know, that every second we’ve spent together, every memory we have together, I hold them close to my heart. They all mean something to me. Even if it’s as simple as sitting in the common room together.”

“James-“

“I’m not finished.” He interrupted, “This is a scary time, but I’ve always been certain of one thing, that thing is you guys. You guys have always been constants in my life. Always been there for me through thick and thin. Sirius being my brother, Lily being my wife, and Y/n being the little sister I never got and my shoulder to cry on.”

Y/n chuckled, “Hey!”

“I still love you.” James replied teasingly through his tears, and she smiled, “I know, Prongs.”

“I’ll eventually have to repeat the same speech to Moony and Wormtail, but for right now, I haven’t felt happier. I wanted to say all of this at the wedding, but Lily didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood, which I understand. Yesterday was a breath of fresh air for what’s to come.”

“But tomorrow, we will all go back to our Order missions and meetings. One thing I can be sure of is that I can always trust you guys, through and through. If for some reason something happens to me, just know I love you guys.”

“We love you too, James.” Lily replied.

Sirius sniffled and smiled through his teary eyes, “Nothing will happen to you guys. Not with me here. You guys have given me too much to let you guys go without a fight.”

“And that’s why we love you, Padfoot.” James stated, smiling at him.

“Everything will be okay. We’ll get through this.” Y/n said with hopeful optimism that would always brighten her friend's days.

[shesamreads]

Ok, first of all, "Finding God, that mischievous imp. Hiding where we least expect it. Not in a church, not on a slap, but inside us. Right there, next to our hearts." How dare you write this absolute banger in a monster romance.

There's so much that reminds me of the movie, obviously, but it was interesting to see behind the movie. I enjoyed seeing more of the characters, and their motivations and thoughts. Everything was written with care, and even if you didn't like the character (looking at you, Strickland) you still find them intriguing, and you understand them.

Giles retelling the Tantalus hurts, but hurts even more knowing what happens next in the movie.

-

I would HATE being married to Richard. What a dick husband.

-

I don't really drink, but now I'm a little interested in a Bandy Alexander.

-

I was told, from one of my facebook book groups, that we'd get more background about Strickland, that' he'd get more fleshed out and we'd have more sympathy for him.

And we do get background, and he does get fleshed out. But I really don't have any more sympathy for him.

-

NOPE. Still a garbage person. Interesting, but garbage.

-

I like Eliza's some of dreams. They seem soothing? I like water.

-

God, I love this movie. I love the interactions between the Amphibian Man (the asset?) and Eliza.

-

You know what Strickland needs? THERAPY.

(what is likely PTSD, the attraction to things that repulse him, the anger, the possible addiction. The general *gestures at everything*)

-

"All feminine minds were fragile."

Get fucked, doc.

-

You know who else needs therapy? Timmy. Good god, Strickland. What are you doing to that boy? What are you doing to this family?

-

"Accepting a woman's lure is like taking an enemy's bait."

Goddamn, Strickland. This is your wife! It's not gross or weak to be attracted to your wife!

-

Once again, Strickland:

"Maybe she can learn to like it, too." Baby, you don't deserve this. You deserve a better man. I'm so sorry that this is your life. I'm so proud that you got that job.

-

"She looks around like this is a trap. Why would she think that?"

Because it is, asshole.

-

"If she's not wearing them for his enjoyment, then whose?"

Women enjoy things, you know. Even shoes. All on their own. It's true!

-

Strickland went from "I'm gonna park here to show off my car." to "Oh shit, my car!" real quick.

-

oh no, it's The Asset's point of view. 😭😭😭

-

the narrator has been great this whole book, but goddamn she is FABULOUS as the Asset.

-

I was driving when this part happened so I don't remember the exact words but "his parts, right where they should be. her parts, right where she left them" is my absolute favorite.

-

"Finding God, that mischievous imp. Hiding where we least expect it. Not in a church, not on a slap, but inside us. Right there, next to our hearts."

How dare you write this absolute banger in a monster romance.

-

It's weird to see Strickland redeemed and not redeemed at the same time. I'm glad that he felt at peace for once, and that the Creature helped him move on.

-

"Yes, she has arrived! She is full, she is perfect. She reaches out to him, to herself. There is no difference. She understands now. She holds him, he holds her, they hold each other..."

-

One last time as The Asset, The Creature, The Amphibian Man, The Devonian.

"we welcome you. come with us."

What a dreamy, lovely ending.

I absolutely adored this movie.

[maybeoneday2121]

Crashing And Burning

Prohero Touya X Reader Part 1

So I wanted to make a AU with pro hero dabi, basically this AU has a lot of the current pro hero’s and I will add some villains but instead their on the path to be hero’s at UA, in these AU let’s just pretend that the characters I add our the same age so it makes sense. Basically in this AU dabi doesn’t have any of the trauma because his body was strong enough to handle his quirk 😌 and also the readers quirk is is basically the ability to call onto animals that she has gotten tattooed on her, Ihavent really come up with a name but yeah, I didn’t really proofread this so please ignore the mistakes.

“Watch it (Y/N)!”

“Touya Todoroki, would you stop yelling at me.”

“Then stop getting in my way.”

Rolling his eyes as he landed right down beside you.

“Then control those stupid useless flames of yours better.”

“Useless?”

Raising a eyebrow at you he looks at you unimpressed.

“Yes they are useless, how can you be a proper hero with them if all you do is burn shit.”

“I can fight villains better then you.”

“Your an asshole Touya.”

Simply not wanting to waste any more brain cells talking with the hotheaded hero you walked of to finish the task at hand. He threw his head back in frustration as he began to walk towards you.

Your goal was basically a different version of capture the flag. You were against your classmates, Hawks and Mirko.

You wanted to actually form a plan that would compliment your quirk and his, but no he wanted to just charge forward and take all the glory for himself, and you being you you weren’t going to let that happen. Since you were out against Mirko you knew that she was incredibly strong when it came down close combat, and so both of your quirks were suited for long distance you thought that she would most likely beat both of you, That left Hawks to scout and find your exact location which would not be hard for him.

So many different scenarios and plans we’re going through your mind, and Touya had grown bored and sat down on the ground waiting for you.

You were taken out of your mind as a sharp red feather swiftly wizzed right by your ear as Touya pulled you into him.

“Look at what we have here.”

Hawks smirked as he slowly floated down to you.

“What’s taking you guys so long, Its getting boring.”

The winged hero expressed in tired tone.

“(Y/n), leave him to me, find the flag.”

He demanded you as he sent daggers towards the bird.

You knew that you would be successful if you listened to him but something in the tone of his voiced annoyed you once again.

“Just so you know, I am only listening to you because it makes more sense, but if you ever boss me around like that I’ll make you regret it.”

You looked him dead in the eyes to show him how serious you were.

“Ok, jeez calm down,teamwork remember.”

“Yeah I remember.” Rolling your eyes as you went to search.

Activating your quirk you pulled your arm out and summoned the lion drawn on your inner forearm.

“Hiya, kiddo.”

He spoke with a deep yet soft growl.

“Hey, Peanut.”

You spoke to the lion that towered over you.

You told your companion what’s was going on and what you needed from him, as he lowered his body for you to get on. Peanut was faster then the average male lion making him a valuable animal in this situation. It didn’t take you long to find your other teams flag but Something made you uneasy as Mirko was no where to be seen.

“Where’s that rabbit?”

Speaking to yourself as you carefully slide off of peanut and grabbed the flag. Surveying the area you saw no sign of her. You eventually got back into peanut and slowly retreated the way you came.

Maybe they had the same kind of plan that you and Touya ended up doing in the end.

“Catch anything peanut?”

“Nothing.”

“This doesn’t make sense.”

Then you realized the stupid mistake you made, Touya was closer to the flag and hawks was most likely a distraction meaning that Mirko was probably close by and you just missed her.

“Shit.”

With that you urged peanut to book it to back to the two boys you left.

Your partner was getting his ass beat, in short. Hawks and Mirko were sending him back and forth like a pinball, Touya was not that great at close combat and he was paying the price the boy never even had a chance to use his flames as he received another punch and kick from Mirko and then red wings pushed him hard onto the ground.

“Oh, you’re back?”

“Hawks if you don’t shut up.”

“Well what kind of hero leaves her own teammate?”

He condescendingly spoke you you as he hovered just out of your reach.

The goal of the exercise was to get the flag and get to the safety with your team mate so you couldn’t leave Touya and head their on your own because the class was focusing on teamwork.

The birdbrain had your flag as well, so you quickly summoned the hawk and eagle that sat on your right shoulder. “Dakota, Dallas, can you keep him busy?”

You asked them as they flew out, “no problem they squawked out.

Every animal that you summoned was bigger, stronger, faster and smarter then the average animal, so basically that left Hawks to deal with two human sized birds.

“Have fun with them.”

You smiled as his focus went away from Touya leaving an opening for him to gain some advantage.

Touya quickly took his opening and used his flames to form a huge wall of flames, stoping Mirko from causing anymore pain for your partner.

You quickly jumped off of peanut and ran to him hoping that he wasn’t to hurt.

“Are you okay?”

You asked as you got closer to him.

“Just fine.”

He explained to you as you watched him with concern in your eyes.

“What’s making you switch up so fast, I thought that just 20 minutes you wanted to rip my head off.”

“This is just concern for a teammate nothing else, genius.”

Touya’s flames began to calm down a bit and suddenly the duo that your were fighting didn’t want to back down as Mirko jumped over the flames and hawks flew towards you guys at the same time, your birds were still on his tail.

“I think that’s our queue to run.”

Touya said as Peanut ran towards you.”

You both hopped onto the animal with your flag.

At this point it was a race towards the finish line considering that both of you had each other’s flags and you just need to see who would cross the line first.

“Come on, can this giant cat go any faster?”

“Ok if you want you can get off and see if your any faster then him.”

You liked at him with a challenging stare.

He didn’t say anything as he looks towards the front. In the end it was a tie. All four of you finished at the exact same time.

Your teacher told you four to have a seat and good job and wait for the rest of the students to finish. You sat down next to Mirko, you and her had grown really close over the time you were classmates.

“So how was working with him?”

She asked with you with a smirk knowing how much you hated the fire user.

“Do you really have to ask me that, it was annoying and frustrating.”

“Well at the end there you guys seemed in total sync.”

“That was only because we needed each other to win.”

“Anyway I got to give him a pretty good beating.”

She says with a sparkly in her eye.

“He’s definitely not that good at close combat, and he seems like he never wants to work on it either.”

You exclaim to her.

“Well you got through it so it can’t be as bad as you thought it would be.”

“No it wasn’t as bad, but we’ve been partners for the last three things, and I know what the teachers are doing but it’s not working.”

“Well if you think about it every time you work together, you two never seem to reach the potential you both obviously have, just maybe if you put aside the differences and actually work well together they might switch you up again.”

Mirko was completely right, you’ve thought about it more then once, but there was just something about him that made you lose your cool.

“I know your right, but I just don’t like him.”

You spoke as your eyes searched for the very man you were talking about. He was being terrorized by Hawks and Shigaraki.

He looked completely done with the two of them but he always seemed to tolerate them since if you found one the other two wouldn’t be to far away.

You continue to glare at him after you make eye contact with those deep cyan eyes.

He simply smirks and sends you a wink.

Your suddenly baffled, you knew his playboy tendencies after being around him for a long time but e never really did anything like that towards you.

Your eye twitches, as slowly turn away from him.

“Who does he think he is?”

You mumble out.

“(Y/N), ignore him

Bringing you back to her you continue to talking to your best friend.

[crossdressingdeath]

"Boys will be boys" logic is interesting since WWX himself basically uses that exact excuse in the book when he tells LWJ not to take JC's homophobic rant/assault seriously in the ancestral hall bc that's just how JC is, as if WWX himself wasn't furious when JC targeted LWJ in that scene. A lot of WWX's famed unreliable narration is rationalizing the crazy shit JC does but sometimes people tend to take it at face value.

Yes, exactly! That is such a huge thing. WWX spends so much time telling himself (and through himself the audience) that oh, it can’t be helped when JC mistreats him, JC is just like that, it’s totally fine, he doesn’t mind, and we see how that viewpoint was encouraged and strengthened by the people around him, especially JYL (sorry Shijie but it’s true). Hell, you could argue that this particular aspect of his character was entirely her doing, given YZY just thinks he should be subordinate to JC in all things and JFM mostly ignores JC’s behaviour; it’s just JYL going for the “oh boys will be boys, you’re strong and always smiling, you can take it” angle.

...Actually, let’s go into that a bit more because it very much gets buried under the “best sister” shit; I am prepared to argue that JYL consistently taking JC’s side did serious damage to WWX. Like, she was the only Jiang who consistently showed him affection and support and he convinced himself that it was unconditional! But the “unconditional” aspect was an illusion entirely based on his ability to consistently and convincingly pretend that JC wasn’t hurting him. WWX isn’t stupid, I don’t doubt for a second that he knew JYL would take JC’s side if it came down to it. She always takes JC’s side from day one. Literally; she hears WWX say he’ll take the blame for JC chasing him out of Lotus Pier and getting WWX’s leg broken while all JC did was come out looking for WWX personally (instead of doing the smart and more helpful thing and getting adults to help) because he was scared he’d get in trouble and he got a little scrape because he was running through the woods like an idiot because, again, he was too scared of getting in trouble to GET ACTUAL HELP THAT WASN’T A CHILD and she’s like “Yeah, that sounds reasonable and fair and not like a really, really bad precedent to set with a kid whose safety relies on my family liking him”. ...There’s also an aspect of “Sure, it can’t hurt to let the kid my mother very clearly hates take responsibility for something that he could be punished for by someone with a motive to take everything possible as a wrongdoing on WWX’s part”, but to be fair at this point she doesn’t know YZY will whip WWX for literally anything she can even slightly suggest is any sort of wrongdoing on WWX’s part. And let’s not pretend WWX wasn’t punished for JC getting hurt; come on, it’s YZY, she punishes him for sunbathing.

This is a running thing going forward in their dynamic, too! JC does something horrible, JYL immediately starts in on the “Oh, boys will be boys, A-Cheng might get upset if you call him out on his shit” shtick if WWX shows the slightest trace of dissatisfaction with being treated like garbage, WWX smiles and forgives JC for whatever he did without question, there’s a period of calm, the cycle repeats. JYL very much teaches WWX that he cannot EVER show any unhappiness with JC’s threats and insults. If he ever shows so much as a shred of anger or sadness or generally being upset at the way JC mistreats him JYL takes JC’s side. At most she’ll tell JC that maybe he should back off a little while basically telling WWX to grin and bear it because JC might be slightly upset if anyone ever calls him out on being horrible to literally everyone. And don’t even get me started on the whole “Oh you’re always smiling” bullshit, talk about teaching a mistreated orphan that he has literally no right to look sad about anything ever. Like, let me put it this way: WWX doesn’t even feel he can go to JYL about JC TRYING TO KILL HIM. That’s a lot? It’s a lot? And it never really gets discussed in any way? WWX doesn’t feel like he can tell his supposed sister who supposedly loves him unconditionally that her brother tried to murder him like three times and when the third time comes up JYL takes JC’s side because JC’s arm got broken in the process of the staged fight where JC stabbed WWX in the gut and that’s fine and healthy apparently. Stan WQ, the actual best sister (god I love WQ).

Anyway, now that I’m done enraging the fandom with my tangent about how much JYL sucks as a sister to WWX... Yeah, WWX insists that JC’s attitude can’t be helped because JC’s just like that even when he very clearly doesn’t buy that? He’s obviously pissed when JC goes after LWJ to the point of genuinely going after JC for it... but when they get away from JC he goes into the “Oh, he can’t help it, don’t get mad at him”. And in this particular case part of it is him panicking because JC’s homophobic ranting (and LWJ’s clear anger at it) left him questioning his and LWJ’s feelings and the mutuality thereof, but it also... really does throw every other time he insists JC’s behaviour is fine into question. Like, we know he’s not buying his own line in this scene! He was furious at JC! He’s still furious and upset! But he feels the need to cover for JC. Even after he’s realized that JC’s behaviour wasn’t okay, he still feels like he has to protect him from anyone else getting angry at him. WWX knows JC’s behaviour isn’t okay and that it’s not fair that JC treats him the way he does and I’d argue (especially at this point in the story) that he deserves better than JC’s treatment... but he still insists that JC is just like that and it’s fine.

That throws every single time WWX smiles through JC’s mistreatment into question, I’d say; we know he’ll react this way even when he knows that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay, so who’s to say he ever isn’t aware that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay? In CQL XZ does an excellent job of showing that at least in that continuity he is extremely done with JC’s shit even from when they’re fifteen; the novel is as far as I remember a little less clear, but it’s still pretty obvious that he’s not enjoying the way JC treats him. He knows that the way JC treats him is hurtful and upsetting and sometimes even frightening (think of the times JC threatens him with dogs and he’s clearly scared, which is a whole other thing because either he’s so scared of dogs that even the threat terrifies him or he has zero doubt that JC for sure would set dogs on him, which is a big thing either way and also I’m still not over how CQL JYL laughs when JC threatens WWX with dogs even though WWX is clearly scared and she totally would’ve laughed if that happened in the novel too but showing it so blatantly and then never actually getting into how messed up it is is just unnecessary), but he feels like he has to smile through it and cover for JC, just like when they were nine.

Anyway yeah, for a fandom so obsessed with WWX being an unreliable narrator the MDZS/CQL fandom sure does miss a lot of times where WWX is actually being unreliable, huh.

[creatingnikki]

What 2020 has taught me

1. Those things that seem like content for sci fi or pure fiction are actually things that can happen. To the entire world. Like a pandemic. And to you. Like a seizure.

2. Everyone is sad. Everyone is struggling. In different ways and in different measures. Makes no one special. But you still get to feel sad for yourself and be compassionate towards others. But it's also okay to draw boundaries because you're everyone too. Remember, not special? You're sad and trying to deal with it too.

3. Every job you have will not add value to your life. It will not teach you new things or give you people you'll want to stay in touch with. Sometimes some jobs will only be a season of your life. Even if the season lasts for over a year. It's okay.

4. You know how you thought picking a college and picking a major and picking your first job and picking a specific industry were all the career decisions you had to make? Yeah, no. It's never a one time thing. You could have a job as a marketing strategist for two years and then want nothing to do with it. And then you'll have to make another decision and work towards it. So I'd like to call it moves. It's like chess. You always have to make a move. And it always has to be strategic, yes. But the truth is in your 20s it probably won't. Even if you try. And as long as you're trying, you'll be fine.

5. You may have different sorts of friends like the one you only talk to about kdrama with or the one you met when you went book shopping alone and the friendship is all about books really. That's normal. But irrespective of why and how you became friends with them, if you consider them a friend then there has to be this basic sense of care, respect and empathy for each other. I don't care what people want to say. If you're faced with the worst trauma of your life, the least your friends can do is check up on you regularly. On text. And if they don't even do that then guess what? They aren't friends. They are acquaintances. Social media and quick promises make everyone seem like your friend. But they are not. They are just nice people who will be nice to you for specific periods and then wander away like you are a speck of dust floating in their journey.

6. You speak a lot and write and you express yourself and you’re emotionally mature but oh my god. You still hold in so much. You’ve known that at a subconscious level and over the last year people - experts - have told you that. You have also realized that you make your pain and sadness about pettier things because dealing with them, admitting about them, sharing that with your friends, is easier. You do that so that you don’t have to deal with the real stuff. Because it’s so damn painful. And you don’t know how to do it. Yet. Acknowledging is the first step anyway right? I know you’re confused about how exactly to let go of all this pain and sadness and feel lighter, and you know that talking to people really isn’t the solution, but I also know you’re smart enough to figure it out. 

7. Talking about being smart...you know you’re different than others. Better. Special. Smarter. None of these are the right words. And you never voiced this out until this year because you knew it would make you come across as narcissistic. Some would say it’s because you’re an INFJ. But my mother once said that this may be the first time we are consciously living life but our souls are old and so our instinct and the things we know but can’t explain are because this isn’t the first time for our souls. The connections we feel with certain people, the reason we are so different from our siblings who grew up in the exact same environment with the exact same opportunities, our sense of right and wrong...it’s all because our souls learn and grow with each time and that’s why we are who we are. I think that’s probably how I can explain what I have always felt. That I am living in a different universe than everybody but I have to pretend to be in this one and dumb my emotions and thoughts down. Maybe that’s because my soul has lived through thousands of years while most around me are living their 100th life. Or maybe I’m just narcissistic, who knows?

8. You shift between talking in first person and second person but that’s because that’s how you think in your head and talk to yourself and live your life. You ask yourself things and you accuse yourself of things and you apologize to yourself and you comfort yourself. I think that seeps into your writing and the changing of the voices. 

9. You always genuinely thought that you’d not be afraid of dying. And then what happened this October proved you shockingly wrong. I know it’s not so much being afraid of dying but the unbearable pain of knowing what that would mean to your family. So you have to be more prudent and less reckless with your life and the choices you make. 

10. Regret is not something that plagued you but this year the realisation and pain of giving away your favourite books from your own personal collection to people you care about as a show of affection and them turning out to be ass holes or losers has hit you so hard. So, yes. No more of that shit. I really fucking want my copy of The Perks Of Being A Wallflower back. UGH. With the childhood picture of me inside it! 

11. Sleeping at 5 am in the morning stops being fun or romanticised when you realise just how much harm it does to your body and mind. Literally every single disease and disorder can be traced back to a shitty fucking sleep schedule. It’s not just the hours you sleep but also the quality of sleep and the time you sleep at. So yes sleeping for 8 hours is healthy but not if that 8 hours is from 5 am to 12 pm. ‘Not a morning person’ is just another construct of capitalism and you don’t realise how many industries profit from having you believe that and staying up late or all night. Entertainment. Food. Alcohol. Pharma. Biologically and naturally you are a bloody morning person. And you don’t need 3 cups of coffee to begin your day or your phone notifications to get you to open your eyes and brain to wake up. 

12. Sometimes you really have to stop taking people so seriously. I know the idea of treating people as casual friends or entertainment makes you want to fight that concept but you know what? Some people like Pineapple are ever only going to be good for that. No matter how much they ‘grow and change’. So keep them in the background for whenever you want some entertainment or drama. But please don’t clear up your busy schedule to meet them or send them gifts on their birthday. 

13. If you don’t have the fruit juice or green juice within half an hour of making it then you are losing out on its most optimum health benefits. Or when you remove the white stringy stuff from oranges. That’s where all the actual nutrients are.

14. I am privileged and so are most of the people I interact with. The global pandemic has been hell for a lot of people around the world. Health wise. Financially. Losing people they care about. But I was blessed enough to be safe at home and have a job that I could smoothly do from home and not have a pay cut or 4-hour long Zoom meetings. So honestly when my friends tell me 2020 has been bad I have to stop and ask them why? Yes, the crippling uncertainty and anxiety is not something that can be undermined. But most people I know had very great positive life-changing milestones this year like moving away to another country for college or taking their first solo trip or getting married. So I have to ask them. Because I am not going to agree that everybody’s 2020 and pandemic narrative is the same. 

15. Money gets spent really quickly. When I left my job earlier this year because of personal issues, I thought I had enough savings to last me a year. Full disclosure - I mean to last my personal expenses because I live with my parents. But it didn’t even last me 3 months. And so to use money wisely and buy things that provide utility than instant gratification is something to follow. Also buying one pair of really expensive but quality shoes is better than buying 5 pairs of affordable but low quality shoes that will have a very short life and force you to buy more. I know that higher price doesn’t always mean better quality but sometimes it does. And as an adult now I want to do the whole quality > quantity thing even with things and not just people. 

16. Everyone in their 20s went through a crisis of what they should do with their lives and their careers and it’s not unique to the 21st century and the challenges of today. Whether it was Vincent Van Gogh in the 19th century or Sylvia Plath in the 20th, every single person, as brilliant as them went through the torture of making these decisions and living with their consequences. You may think I picked wrong examples for they both killed themselves but you know what? They were the people who really want to live more than anyone. They knew what life meant. And maybe if mental health help was more accessible back then their lives would be longer and more peaceful. 

17. Telling people everything is overrated. You don’t have to talk about every single thing that’s on your mind or that’s going on in your life. The good and the bad and the mediocre. You have to be mindful about how much of yourself you’re giving away. 

18. Re-watch Suits when people at work feel intimidating because the confidence + negotiation tactics that they show can actually work irl cos at the end of the day no matter in what position you’re dealing with people who have emotions and fears and insecurities and desires. You understand how to leverage that nobody can get the better of you. 

19. You belong to yourself. No matter how much you love someone or how much they have done for you or how much you owe them - you belong to yourself. You can’t live your life for someone else. Everyone belongs to themselves first. No relationship, no promise, no circumstance should make you feel like you have to give up your life and make it all about them. If and when the time comes to die for them, go ahead. Take a bullet. Donate that kidney. Write them in your will. But live your life for yourself. And let them live theirs. 

20. Twenty three was a challenging year. When it started you claimed the age 23 sounds boring and insignificant. Guess it proved you wrong. It hurt so much now. But that only means you’ll look back on it later and see how it added so much wisdom and resilience to your being. It doesn’t mean that it makes all the bad things that happened to you okay. Or that you should be grateful to them. Fuck no. It means that you should be kinder to yourself because at the end of the day, your mind and body find it in themselves to deal with whatever is thrown their way. They have your back. It’s time you learn to sit straight. 

[suicidalslasher]

𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒚 ➤ 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆

Here's one of three Carrie White fics!! :D This is honestly short and sweet, plus simple... compared to the other two. But.... it's here and I'm very much happy with the way it came out. I hope you all enjoy it, as well.

Although, the gif is of Sissy, you can pretend it's either version of Carrie.

(Chloe or Angela's. I, personally, just prefer Sissy's. Although, I love all three.) And despite it being Sissy, too, I took inspiration from the (2002) adaption with Angela whereas Carrie never died in the accident of her house.

Instead, she lives and runs away. And yadda yadda. Enjoy!! xx

Warnings: None. Unless you count fluff and love confessions UwU.

“I know she was your friend but c’mon, (Y/N). She was nothing more than a piece of shit… Grow up. Move on.”

“She was a monster, (Y/N). Do you really think she wasn’t? After all she had done? She destroyed everything and hurt so many people… she killed several hundred people, too… if that isn’t a cruel, heartless bitch, I don’t know who or what is.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just like her…. are you a demon in disguise, too, (Y/N)?”

They said the same exact thing. The statements were always said by different people but the topic of the subject remained the same - Carrie White.   Carrie White was the devil. So on and so forth…

It was a constant reminder she no longer was here with us - with me.  

 The tragedy that struck on prom  night wasn’t my fault. Nor, was it Carrie’s.

Carrie had so much anger built up within her, she was bound to explode with rage eventually. And that day just so happened to unravel at the dance. All thanks to the students (and some teachers) of Bates High.

They constantly bullied Carrie for no real given reason, they harassed her for things she couldn’t quite control, either.  Not me, though.

I’m not crazy, even if there are people that  say I am and even if there are those that put words in my mouth I never said to begin with, too -

It’s not true.

None of it is true.

Everything you’ve read about Carrie White is false. Everything you’ve, more than likely, heard about her is furthest from the truth, also.

She’s not a monster. She never was one. She was just an ordinary girl, begging to be loved,  to be happy. And I loved her.

I just… I wish more than anything she realized how much I loved her.  I was in love with Carrie White, truly, madly, deeply…. in love with her.

And nobody could ever change how I felt - how I feel - towards her.

The night I was going to confess my feelings, believe it or not, was before the dance. Before everything happened.

The moment I arrived to the dance, well…by then, it was too late.   I hadn’t known it yet but almost everyone  was trapped inside the gymnasium, nails digging through the doors as they tried - and failed - to escape.

Their blood curling whines and agonizing moans were silenced by the music that played out on the speakers which echoed outside of the windows and bounced back and forth from the building to the parking lot.

I didn’t realize something terrible had happened until I smelled an intoxicating scent that caused my eyes to blur over with tears and caused me to grimace as the odor only grew stronger, thicker.

I winced and gazed around the parking lot which still remained full of different colored vehicles.     Confusion struck but after a moment or two later, realization hit like a ton of bricks.

From where I had stood, I saw a huge  cloud of gray smoke lingering around the building, only growing more and more thicker in the sky.

When I first arrived, the sky was crystal clear.  Not a single   speck of white was seen from above.   Now, that beautiful shade of blue was replaced with dark and haunting clouds of gray.

Even the moon was no longer hanging in the air for the smoke had it hidden.

The odor that swarmed the air, I realized, was people’s flesh burning.   One by one, people within the school were dying and suffocating to death.

Call me whatever you wish, as I’ve been called every name in the book, but I mean it when I say that I could care less  about the students and teachers of Bates High. If that made me an insensitive bitch, so be it.

The only reason I even attempted to try to get inside the building was because I remembered Carrie had gone to the dance with Tommy Ross.  And I’d do anything to save her.

Expect… I couldn’t.

Every area of the school was locked. Every entrance and exit doors were shut tightly. No matter how hard I tried to open them,  the damned thing wouldn’t budge.

I even tried to go through the windows but they were shut, too. There was nothing I could do.

Nothing expect fall to the ground and bury my face in my hands as tears began to fall, one by one, a tear dropped and soaked my hands and stained my cheeks.

Everyone said prom was a night to remember… but I doubt anyone wanted to remember their prom like this.

*~*

The following week after the incident, I heard a knock at my door. Slowly making my way out of bed, I walk down my too small and narrow hallway and open the door once I’ve reached the entrance,  glancing at the  person behind the screen door.

Sue Snell stood there, hands in her pocket and a look of sadness painted across her face.

“(Y/N),” She began.  “Can…. can we talk?”

“About what?” I snarled, not caring if I came off as rude or ignorant or any other definition.  I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to sleep and never wake up. I already knew where the conversation was going and what the main subject was going to be about. And I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to talk about it.

“It’s about last week…  It’s…. it’s about Carrie.”

“I already know. She’s dead, okay? She’s dead and she isn’t going to come back, you don’t have to remind me.” I go to shut the door but Sue sticks her foot out and stops me from doing so. I narrow my eyebrows at her and give her a questioning gaze.

“Please…” She but all begged. “Tonight. Meet me at her headstone, tonight, would you? Midnight. I’m being serious. Trust me on this, would you? I know you have no reason to… but please.. if not for me, for Carrie.”

“Fine. I’ll think about it. Now, I have to go.”

“(Y/N), wait-”

Before she could finish her sentence, I’m  closing the door in her face and storming back to my bedroom, falling onto my mattress with an ‘ugh’ leaving my lips.

For the past few days, I didn’t do anything expect cry and scream into my pillow.

The moment I got back under the covers and buried my face under several blankets and two of my pillows,  the tears came rushing back down.

I was surprised I still had tears left in me from all the crying I had done, truth be told.

I tried, really, I did… to be strong but it was so hard. Especially when Carrie wasn’t here to make things better.

It was so difficult to live when  the one person you kept yourself alive for is no longer around…. it’s hard to live when your heart is no longer beating.

The day Carrie White died was the day a little part of me died, too.

*~*

It was 11:50PM.

The house was eerily silent. The only noise, from where I was at in my bedroom, was the whistle of the wind and the gentle knocking of tree limbs outside on my window.

I glance at the clock by my bedside table. It now read 11:52.

I sigh and sit up, my feet touching the cold hardwood floor. I rub my hands over my face tiredly as I try to come to a decision whether or not I wanted to meet Sue at Carrie’s gravestone.

I came to the decision… yes, I should go.  After all, I wanted to make sure nobody wrote any more harsh and ruthless slurs on Carrie’s grave.

Even in death, they wouldn’t let her rest and wouldn’t stop picking on her.   Carrie should be able to rest and yet there’s hundreds of people who forbid her from doing so. It was a shame.

People say Carrie White is a monster or the daughter of the Devil himself but in reality, the only monsters are the ones  that won’t leave that poor girl alone.

"If you look in the face of evil - evil's going to look right back at you."

*~*

The time I got to the cemetery  it had just turned midnight.  As I exited out the car, it seemed as if the howl of the wind grew louder upon my arrival.

“Hello?” I call out. My voice seems loud against the empty area and I grimace; I didn’t realize how wobbly it sounded until I had spoken.

(I blamed that on all the off and on crying sessions I’ve done recently.)

“Sue? Are you there? Hello?”

Nothing.

I groan and face palm, shaking my head from side to side. I should’ve known not to come. I should have known better and yet-

“(Y/N).”

My eyes dart forward and I feel my knees begin to buckle out underneath me and all the air in my lungs is snatched away from me.

“(Y/N).” She repeats, walking toward me and gives me a wry smile. “Hi.”

“C-Carrie?” My voice shook and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There she was, alive, breathing and all.

And she was right in front of me.

“You… I thought you were dead.” I was speechless. I could barely form any sentences without stumbling over my words.

“That’s why I’m here,” Carrie explained, stepping closer to me.  She rests the palm of her hand across my cheek, fingers brushing over my skin and I shudder, goose bumps prickling ever so softly across my arms.

“I didn’t know how to tell you….” She continued, sighing as she moves a loose piece of hair back and out from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

“I didn’t want anyone to know but Sue found me  on the side of the road when my house collapsed… she took me under her wing and helped me out.” She informed.  Carrie looked up and gave me a shy smile, her cheeks turning a bright rosy red.

“She insisted I should tell you, too… I was wanting to tell you, regardless but… I had been so scared. I’ve been terrified recently…. and with everything that happened, I only got more scared and… well, I thought you’d be like them and laugh at me or go on and tell the world where I was at and-”

“Carrie, I love you.” I blurt, unable to stop the words from forming out my mouth.

“I’d never, in any way, hurt you. I’ve loved you for the longest time and I thought…. I thought you were dead, Carrie… and it truly felt like I lost a piece of myself, too.”

The blush on Carrie’s cheeks grows darker, deeper as she nods. Tears swell in the corner of her eyes and she laughs softly, taking her hand away from my cheek as she wipes her eyes, sniffling quietly.

“I know. Sue told me, too… and I didn’t believe her. How could anyone love a freak like me? The laughing stock? Everyone’s personal punching bag..” Carrie smiled sadly as she shook her head.

“Mama told me it was a sin, you know? Love only is shared between a man and a woman. Not two men or two women together but… I realized I’d rather burn in Hell and be with the person I love than to go to Heaven being the person I’m not. I love you, (Y/N).

“I prayed every night for a friend and you came into my life at the time I needed you the most. You’re not only my best friend but my blessing, too.” By the time she’s finished talking, I’m crying and pulling her into my chest, hugging her tightly.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” I repeat.  “From the moment I met you in the library and we bonded over our favorite novels together at the start of school, I knew I wanted to be your friend. I could care less what others thought.

And then when we went to the park that Saturday evening and had a picnic, I knew I loved you then…. I knew that no matter what, whether we were friends or more, I always wanted to make you happy, Carrie White.”

“And you do,” she reassured, voice cracking as she buried her head in the crook between my shoulder and neck. “You make me the happiest girl alive. I’ve never known true happiness until you came into the picture, (Y/N).”

I pull a little bit of ways out and take her face, pressing my hands across her cheeks and with little to no hesitation, I press my lips hungrily against hers.

Carrie, almost instantly, kisses back.

“I love you.” I murmur into the kiss, not daring to pull away.

“I love you.” She muttered. Through the kiss, I can feel the corners of her lips curling up into a smile. A grin finds its way across my face, too.

“Let’s go… let’s get out of here.” She said, pulling back as she looks up and into my eyes. “Let’s leave Chamberlain and never look back.”

And so, well, we did.

Carrie White wasn’t your average or your typical ordinary girl. She had powers, as I came to find out. I knew there was something unique, something special about her and now I knew what it was.

Carrie White wasn’t a demon. Or the daughter of the Devil or none of that sort.

Carrie White was simply just a girl, ready to start her own life and accomplish her own goals and seek happiness.

And I, (Y/N) (L/N) would do anything to help her achieve that.

Carrie White deserved better than to live in fear and shame.

Carrie White, just like anybody else, deserved to be happy.

So, whether you believe me or not, I don’t care.

If you still think she is a monster in disguise or whatever; I do not care.

I know the truth. Sue Snell knows the truth, too. Carrie White is anything but a monster.

Carrie White is, and forever will be, my girl.

And that’s just that.

End of story.

[micheswife]

Confessions

MICHE ZACHARIAS X SHY CADET

Miche finally tells his crush he likes her. That's it

Miche watched her from Erwin’s office as she left the headquarters to enjoy a well-deserved break. The evening sun highlighted her brunette curls, stopping just below her delicate shoulders. It was a shame really, her hair used to touch her waist when she first joined. She was so incredibly shy and anxious back then, struggling to find her place among younger people that were much stronger than her. He remembered back when she declined the promotion for the sake of her happiness. It had been 3 years since y/n joined the survey corps at the age of 20. She was a late beginner, but her analytical skills, a fateful emotional meltdown and a background in research had soon gotten her a place under section commander Hange. Y/n was not good as a fighter, but she was observant, more than Erwin and Hange. Miche could not help but notice her, she was cute after all. She had flaws, just like everyone else, but the veteran soldier was drawn to her in particular. He couldn’t remember when he felt like that for the first time. Maybe it was when he saw her for the first time, clutching a soiled handwritten application and trying her hardest to put on a brave face. Who knows? Who cares? The important part was that he liked her, she did not know and he was not going to tell.

“What are you looking at Miche? “

“N-nothing, Erwin. Go on…”

Miche went back to focusing on the meeting. y/n had already disappeared in the next lane, so there was no point looking outside. The meeting would go on for hours, as usual, veterans had no holidays.

Meanwhile, y/n made herself comfortable near the quiet riverbank. It was one of the few attractions in the little land of Paradis, especially after the fall of Wall Maria. The serene river glowed red under the now darkening sun rays. Y/n had about 30 minutes to draw something, after which it would get too dark. Problem was, y/n had no idea what to draw. So she just sat there, wondering about her life. It seemed self-indulgent to refuse work only to get out and ponder about herself, but she needed it. The chaos inside the headquarters hardly did her any good. She wanted quiet and peace, but what she had right now was just pure loneliness. Y/n had friends, but nobody close or free enough to sit under the open night sky. So she sat all alone over the wall, the cold breeze ruffling her hair. If only there were someone to hold her.

“Bottomline, all of you must prepare your squads for next month’s expedition. We can’t afford to compromise manpower. Pay attention to the weak members, we need them to come back alive. You all are dismissed.”

Miche walked out of Erwin’s office and went straight to his room that he shared with Dieter, another squad leader. He felt tired, as though he knew what was about to come. A lot of action and a shit ton of casualties, not to forget all the rigorous training he was about to deliver on the cadets.

“What a long day..”

“Tomorrow’s going to be longer, Ness.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you will make it through the expedition?”

Miche scrunched his nose at the odd yet totally reasonable question. Him and Dieter served the scout regiment since their teenage years, yet they never quite got used to the anxiety before impending doom. Against his overbearing stress, Miche gave him a positive answer hoping to lift his spirits.

“I will make it out alive, Ness. The most damage I will end up with is a lost limb, after which I will retire and live a peaceful life. Don’t worry.” Miche finished with his signature scoff, masking his true emotions. The shameless, pretentious display of cockiness was all worth the little chuckle from Ness, the most sociable, tender man among veterans.

They made their way to the dining hall after chit chatting and freshening up. Their tables had the usual serving of bread, soup and vegetables. His eyes scanned the place for the owner of those beautiful, crazy curls, y/n, she should have been back by now. He couldn’t see her anywhere. Usually it was so easy to spot her in her corner seat. Perhaps Hange assigned her some work, but he couldn’t risk revealing his crush by asking the overly-energetic squad leader. So he quietly finished his plate, feeling just a little hint of emptiness because he missed y/n.

“Nifa, find y/n and tell her I want her in the lab tomorrow at 6am sharp.” Mike overheard Hange speaking from a couple of tables away.

“Yes captain.” Nifa quickly finished her meal and left the dining hall and eventually the headquarters. Her face made it clear that she had done this several times now and Miche was not surprised. Y/n was often in her own head and stayed out for a long time. Miche just found it unusual for her to stay out this late. It was cold outside, no person in their right mind would stay out past 8pm. He wished he knew what was going on inside the girl’s head that made her personality so withdrawn, but he did not have the time. He needed to draft a schedule for this week’s training and tests for the cadets. Just the thought of sitting in an office doing paperwork with a candlelight flickering throughout the night made him feel calm. He was extremely skilled on the field, but he liked doing paperwork too. His studious side was something only his immediate squad and other veterans were familiar with. Sometimes he couldn’t help fantasizing about sharing his study with y/n. Aside from his feelings, y/n had the brains to draft a perfect test that tapped into all the necessary skills for the next expedition. After all, that was what she had been doing before joining the survey corps, albeit in a different field. Miche stopped in his tracks as an idea struck him. He felt dumb, so dumb. He had drafted so many tests, all by himself, fully knowing that there was someone that could probably do it better than him. Fully knowing that y/n had been a psychology student, and she had perfected the theory subjects after joining the survey corps. He turned around and approached Hange.

“Would you mind if I borrow one of your soldiers for a while?”

“That depends, Miche, who are you talking about?”

“Y/n, I need her help drafting the tests tonight. I think she can do a good job.”

“You are right.. I’ll let her know.”

“Tell her to be in my office by 9;30 tonight.”

Miche left for his office to begin work, he wanted to finish as much as he could before y/n showed up. Because work was not the only thing he was concerned about. He knew exactly what he was doing, it was dubious, but he needed to do it. It was funny how a few hours ago he thought he’d never confess his feelings, but later created an opportunity to do that exact thing. He couldn’t believe himself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was 9;30 sharp, and Miche heard a soft knock on his office door.

“Come in, it’s unlocked, and take a seat before me.” He said without lifting his head.

Y/n made herself comfortable and glanced over three open books and a single page. Miche was writing down questions.

“Alright y/n, I need your help drafting the question papers for tomorrow’s tests. Of course, you will be exempted from actually taking the test as a reward.”

“Understood, sir”

“Good, now I want you to create 30 questions that combine the concepts of formations, weaponry and strategy. Make them difficult, and make sure to base it upon the last 5 expeditions.”

“Alright-”

“You have 2 hours to finish this.”

“Okay..” y/n walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a heap of books. Miche raised his eyebrows in confusion,

“How are you going to refer to that many books and finish it within time?” Miche questioned her.

“I will, don’t worry.” y/n’s sudden confidence took him aback.

“Well good luck.”

Time flew by quickly as both of them were engrossed in their work, the only sounds coming from the candle and turning of pages. It wasn’t peaceful to be precise, y/n was turning pages with such aggression it made the section commander steal glances at her. She would flip through the pages and write down important points, constantly checking the time as she worked. Her handwriting got messier as time flew by and Miche couldn’t help but notice. He could tell that y/n totally had the plan to give those cadets a hard time. She had a weak, but cocky smirk the whole time, and Miche was just glad that he was not one of the people that would need to take the test. He knew that expression and aggressive handwriting very well. She always wore that smirk while writing exams, and everytime she came out on top. Miche knew she was overcompensating for her sub-par physique and iron-deficiency that interfered with her ODM skills, but that semblance of confidence on her face always turned him on. Her hair was still messed up, she struggled to keep that twisted fringe out of her face.

“Where’s the ruler?!” Y/n asked loudly, shaking Miche out of his trance.

“Wait…” He fished out a ruler from the clutter in his drawer and handed it to y/n.

“What are you drawing?”

“A wrong diagram of the latest formation.” Y/n replied curtly.

“I see.. Good.”

Miche was organizing his drawer after finishing his work when y/n handed him the tests. It was 11;30 sharp. The ink had somehow gotten between y/n’s fingers. Miche went through all seven pages of three extremely complicated tests and shot a glance at y/n, who looked like she was awaiting his praise. She was sitting with her back straight, wide eyed and messy hair. Miche chuckled, and y/n smiled. She knew she had done those cadets dirty with her questions.

“You have a naughty side, don’t you?” “Kitten” , was the term Miche refrained from using at the end.

Y/n nodded with a cheeky grin. The section commander squinted and got up from his chair, towering over her. A faint blush crept over her cheeks as she broke eye contact with him, staring down at her feet instead. Her delicate shoulders now looked tensed up under her transparent, embroidered shoulder shawl. The pile of paperwork didn’t allow him to notice her beautiful blush pink dress. She had embroidered little flowers to accentuate her figure all the way down to her hips.

“You look beautiful in that dress.” Miche blurted out, causing her to blush harder and breathe unevenly.

“Thank you, sir..”

“Look at me when you speak.”

“O-okay..” she slowly raised her head, still not wanting to make eye contact.

“I will be straight to the point y/n… I like you, not just as a comrade.”

“Understood.” y/n was taking quick, short breaths, causing the tall blonde to get on his knees. She had gone back to her timid mouse state and he could no longer read her.

“Are you scared right now?” Miche tried hard to not sound like a creep.

“No, I like you too!”

“That’s -” he began to speak but got cut off.

“More than a comrade, if you were wondering…” she trailed off shyly. Miche kept staring at her, dumbstruck at her honest confession. This whole time he had no idea about her feelings.

"When were you planning to tell me ..?" Miche asked, pulling a chair behind him. He was still leaning towards y/n with an expression of pure shock.

"I… Never planned on saying anything." Y/n's expression saddened as she looked at him with her doe eyes.

"I can understand.". he was telling the truth. The realisation that their confessions were a result of his impulsive decision dawned on him. He couldn't take his eyes off her form. She looked anxious, fondling with her pendant in one hand.

"Do you want to take this further?" Y/n asked with a shaky voice, and his answer was immediate.

"Yes."

She looked straight into his eyes and smiled.

"Can I kiss you?" The 35 year old man felt like a teenager trying to walk on eggshells. The woman before him giggled and nodded in approval, finally lifting her hand from the pendant. She was starting to settle down, although the butterflies in her stomach made it difficult. Miche was about to lean in when she stopped him and got up from her chair.

"I forgot to lock the door." She said naughtly.

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Okay, I really wanted to turn this into a smut, but I am too chicken. 🙈🥺

[nypmphetsbastard]

They Both Die in the End

Genre: angst...just angst

Pairings: Eren Yeager x reader

Timeline: season 4 Eren

Summary: SPOILER ALERT! They both die in the end.

Warnings: Smut, angst, major character death, emotional, season 4 warnings do not continue if you’re not caught up with the anime.

A/N: this story is also posted on AO3

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If you could go back to it all, would you? Before Marley, before the war, before the titan shifters, before the fall of Shiganshina, before everything — would you go back? Go back to living peacefully inside the walls of Maria watching eh our next door neighbor Eren and his two other friends run around, too nervous to ask yet watching their games of tag together. Go back to the day the youngest Yeager son noticed you from afar and invited you to play with them. Go back to those days. 

Those final days of peace. If you could go back to it all, would you? Before Marley, before the war, before the titan shifters, before the fall of Shiganshina, before everything — would you go back? Go back to living peacefully inside the walls of Maria watching eh our next door neighbor Eren and his two other friends run around, too nervous to ask yet watching their games of tag together. Go back to the day the youngest Yeager son noticed you from afar and invited you to play with them. Go back to those days. 

Those final days of peace. If you could go back to it all, would you? Before Marley, before the war, before the titan shifters, before the fall of Shiganshina, before everything — would you go back? Go back to living peacefully inside the walls of Maria watching eh our next door neighbor Eren and his two other friends run around, too nervous to ask yet watching their games of tag together. Go back to the day the youngest Yeager son noticed you from afar and invited you to play with them. Go back to those days.  Those final days of peace.

Before it all fell.

Maybe. Maybe you would go back. But you couldn't. No matter how much prayed and wish upon a star, it would never come to pass. You were stuck. You were all stuck. But in a moment like this, you didn't mind being stuck here.

Stuck in his arms, under his broad shoulders and wrapped in your own personal layer of protection. His soft eyelashes laid gently along to top of his cheeks, the dark brown locks you loved so dearly had now grown a little past his chin and his once short and skinny frame had grown significantly since he turned 18.

You tenderly tucked his long hair behind his ear, watching as his eyelashes fluttered open at the lightest touch. It was sad, honestly, how light of a sleeper he'd become. Anyone who knew Eren only now would've laughed at a time he was a heavy sleeper, it was sad, how quickly he had to adapt to constant alert. No longer enjoying his moments of peace and quiet.

A brown broke you out of your thoughts as Eren licked his lips and drubbed the tiredness out of his eyes before sighed and looking down at the person in his arms.

Eren couldn't help but remember the words Jean had once said to him when they were just 15. "How you managed to find someone like that, I will never know. But don't screw it up, because you never know if the next time you'll see them will be on the street or in a body bag." He sighed, reaching his hand over to your cheek, gently caressing the skin.

He knew the two of you would never have a moment like this ever again, that his future will always result in complete anarchy and chaos but that wouldn't stop him from basking in the light that was you.

"Good morning." You giggled, this gentle touch sending shivers up your spine.

"Morning." He whispered back. "We have to get up soon. Captain Levi says we have more Marleyan's coming from the port today."

You sighed and pushed your head closer into his chest, "That's boring...and morbid. I just wanna spend time with you." You whined, Eren chuckled sadly.

"I know...but that doesn't mean we can't make it count now." Eren mumbled, leaning into your neck. You hummed and relaxed in his arms as he began to suck the skin on your neck.

"No hickeys. You know what Levi said about them." You breathed out trying to keep your composure, Eren pulled away with a shit eating grin.

"Whoops." you rolled your eyes at him and let your lips meet in a hungry kiss.

Wandering hands roaming each other's bodies wasn't uncommon between you whenever you got the chance, but no matter how much he touched you, you couldn't help but flinch and gasp into his mouth as he cupped your clothed mound.

"Eren," you pause to take a deep breathe as another moan threatens to escape your reddened lips, "I thought you said we had somewhere to be." You joked lightly.

"Fuck that." He cursed, looking up at you with his dark piercing gaze.

'If these are what Eldian devils look like, I wouldn't mind being a sinner' you thought to yourself.

If Eren Yeager was anything, oblivious was not it. He was always attentive with everything he did. But when the lights dimmed and your legs spread for him, Eren Yeager never missed a spot. Twisting and turning, rubbing and spitting, he'd do anything and everything to hear you let out those breathy moans of his name.

Eren Yeager never had such a good ring to it.

It never took a lot of to have you screaming for him. Eren had mapped out every crevice of your body that sent you shivers, every infinity 8 that had your legs shaking since the first night. He always knew what would have you screaming out in blissful pleasure. Whether it be in pain or pleasure.

"Eren, ah," your shaky hands reach for the scarred back of his past. Nails scratching the surface and painting the once pale canvas a burning red color.

The burning of your thighs was nothing compared to the knot in your stomach that he wouldn't let snap. He massaged your thighs as they sat above his shoulders, finally lifting his head to hear your desperate whines to finish. Lips and chin coated in wetness, he grinned and went right back to work. Your mercy pleas finally reached his ears as one of his hand reached up to grab yours, his other stimulating your most sensitive area to get the exact reaction he wanted.

One that left his shirt and his sheets drenched in you. Words didn't seem to form on your tongue yet he understand everything you needed. Planting a light kiss on your clit, he gently and carefully closed your legs, bringing them back down to earth and laying down on your side.

Once your breathing returned back to normal all you could mutter was a simple, "wow." Eren smirked cockily and grabbed your cheeks, pulling you into a much softer yet passionate kiss.

"I know." not even trying to make a smart comment, you closed your eyes, preparing for your high to end and the uncomfortable feeling of stickiness that filled the sheets, your thigh and your boyfriend's face.

"You have a little something there" you pointed out, pointing to your chin.

"Mhm, really? You made a mess too, want me to clean it up?" A yes caught in your throat as you realized what he was planning and clasped your hand onto his wrist.

"Don't. We still have somewhere to be."

That smile. That damned smile that always caused you nothing but trouble. Trouble in more ways than one.

Mikasa and Armin being the first to arrive on time was never a surprise, however coming after Sasha and Connie was borderline suspicious as those two were never on time...to anything. Connie snickered at the sight of you rushing over to the bench with a piece of bread stuck in your mouth as you tried tucking your shirt into your pants.

You sat down between to Mikasa and Jean, trying your best to not sound like you had ran over here in a hurry, which you had. It was in your best interest to just act like you'd been there the whole time, especially with how meticulous Captain Levi was with scheduling and all that. So you struck up a conversation.

"Hey Mikasa, lovely weather we're having." You spoke up, Mikasa looked up from where her eyes were down casted on her lap and gave you a small smile with a hint of confusion.

"Yes, it is lovely...I guess." She mumbled as her voice trailed off.

You leaned on your arms to look next to Mikasa, "Good morning, Armin." You greeted the blonde.

"Oh, good morning. Have you been there this whole time?" Armin questioned, his answer only causing tithe two snickering twins to laugh even harder.

"No Armin, she was out having a much better morning." Connie mocked, sending Sasha into a laughing fest with a whole piece of bread still lodged in her mouth. Armin look confused but shrugged it off and went back to drawing in his sketch book, a stress reliving habit he'd picked up after that day at the sea.

You kicked Connie in the shins and smiled at his hiss of pain and dramatic leg holding, Sasha joining in on your laughs until you kicked her too. She whined and rubbed her shin.

"Hey! I didn't even say anything!" She protested and you laughed at her, not noticing Mikasa's sharp gaze on you.

"Where's Eren?" Mikasa asked

"Commander Hange asked him to stay behind to prep beforehand. Why?"

"So I can ask him to leave your fun in the bedroom, respectfully." She smirked, pointing at the hickey on your neck. Your eyes widened at Mikasa's amused expression and tried to cover the deep red and purple stain with your hand. Jean snickered from next to you, using the magazine he very clearly wasn't using to cover up his puffed cheeks preventing him from laughing.

Everyone's favorite duo however, did not get the memo as they bursted out into a fit of laughter. Their pale cheeks turning bright pink as they leaned on each other for support, nearly throwing the other off the bench. You groaned and dropped your head onto the hardwood table, drowning in embarrassment.

The scouts had always loved to tease you and Eren at any given chance. Connie and Sasha being especially guilty of this, but even Mikasa loved to poke and prod at the two of you, making jokes of her own.

Mikasa has been your best friend since childhood, her love for both you and Eren only doubled in size when the two of you officially got together when you were 15. She was there for you after every failed mission, after every argument, or even when you just needed girl talk. Even if she never seemed the most emotionally capable person, Mikasa Ackerman was never wrong. She's somebody everybody could rely on, whether that he for protection or just as a friend, she was always there.

Always there to buy the constantly hungry Sasha snacks as you and many other scouts arrived to Marley in disguise. While Sasha basked at the taste of new foods, your eyes roamed the crowded city, trying your best not to push anyone. Then, your eyes landed on a familiar head of hair that stood at the edge of the port, looking off into the distance.

"Hey..." you spoke up before gently sliding your hand on his shoulder, a habit you picked up on because of how guarded Eren constantly is. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." He mumbled, turning his body to face you directly and placing his hands on your shoulders, "Are you?" He questioned

"Mhm. This person dressed up as a clown mistook Captain Levi for a child and I think he actually might've traumatized the man." You joked, laughing at the past occurrence.

Although he didn't laugh, Eren smiled at your happiness, mentally taking a picture of this moment to hold onto later on.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" Levi interrogated, snatching the arm of a young boy who stood beside a clueless Sasha. You and Eren made your way through the commotion of people spewing out hateful words at the boy as they tried to figure out a brutal punishment for the child.

Sasha laughed nervously and lied for him, claiming he was just her younger sibling messing around, narrowly avoiding having the child nearly killed for his crime. The boy apologized profusely and thanked them for saving him from impending doom before running off with his younger brother. You smiled softly at the child as he ran off before noticing your boyfriend looking at him with longing and sadness.

"Eren? Hey, what's wrong?" You asked softly, reached over to place your hand on his cheek. He blinked and shook his head.

"Nothing, let's go."

Those next days, that very child had offered you and the scouts a place to rest your heads. Providing you all food, drinks and even alcohol which only ended in disaster and Sasha hunched over a bucket puking her guts out.

In your arms that night laid a tired Eren, his head on your chest listening to your heartbeat and feeling your chest rise up and down, mentally making sure you continued to do that. And as you slept soundly, the sharp burning sensation in his nose became too much to bear, Eren's tears silently fell.

They fell for the memories, or rather the premonition of his future. His cursed future.

They fell for the child he once was. A little boy who wanted nothing more than to prove himself and to his parents that he could go beyond, that he could be free in the world he was born into. A little boy who laughed and loved with his parents, his friends, and the little girl next door who he swore to his mother he'd marry. An innocent little boy.

They fell for his friends. The only people he couldn't live without no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise. Not just you, Mikasa and Armin — but Connie, Sasha, Jean, Historia and even Levi and Hange. He lived everyday of his life for the sake of them, for them to live their lives as freely as possible, for them to live the life he would never be able to.

For the days like before as they all worked on building the port. Sweaty, tired and burning arms as they all hauled ass into the half built train tracks and finally got a moment to relax.

"Make a base in Marley and infiltrate it, huh?"

"Hange sure has a plan for everything. I'll be able to show down on some real Marleyan cuisine." Sasha replied, her mind already lost a sea of new foods but you smiled at her enthusiasm

"Yeah? What should I bring? It would stink to get the runs."

"Stomach medicine, toothbrush, a taste of home..." Sasha listed off

"Did you even hear Hange's plan?" Mikasa questioned

"If the world knows that we want peace, maybe something will change." Armin suggested hopefully.

"Armin, you know I love the way you think but...not everyone thinks like you. Even the Marleyans we have here are still hot headed over us just existing in the same space as them, they don't seem like very peaceful people in my opinion." You spoke up, Armin sighed and nodded as a small moment a silence waved over you all.

"If only we had more time. I've got just over five years left. We're gonna have to decide who inherits my Titan soon." Eren brought up, a new point but not one that hadn't crossed all your minds.

"I will" Mikasa attempted to step up

"Not you. We still don't know what the Ackermanns are. And won't it hurt any plans with Hizuru if you become a Titan? No, for so many reasons." Jean dismissed, Mikasa looked down sadly, feeling as though there was nothing she could do to help.

"Then who will?" She snapped, you placed you hand over hers and gave her heartwarming smile before leaning your head on her shoulder in a means to calm her down.

"Me. First of all, I'm way smarter than Eren. Instead of a suicidal maniac, you'll have a gifted leader who shows good judgement in all situations. In other words, me." He concluded in his bashful statements. "I hate getting an Eren hand-me-down but who better than me?"

"Someone that amazing we don't wanna lose in 13 years, moron." Connie cursed, you snickered and nodded.

"He's right, Jean. All those things you just said about yourself are true, which is why we need you one hundred percent human and intact for over 13 years. You're too good of a leader to lose now." you explained, Jean groaned in annoyance.

"You're aiming to be regiment leader. I'll inherit Eren's Titan. It works out good, right?"

"Connie..." Eren faltered, slightly surprised at the high and dangerous position Connie was willing to take.

"That's not good at all. You're an idiot." Sasha replied

"Eh?"

"Don't 'eh' me. We can't leave such an important role up to an idiot."

"Eh?" Connie continued, still shocked.

"Doggone it...I'll inherit it. I've got combat experience...I'm someone you can trust...By process of elimination, it's gotta be me." Sasha divulged, you lifted your head from Mikasa's shoulder and raised your hand.

"Um hello? I'm still here." You said sarcastically,

"I know but Eren's your boyfriend and I find it pretty morbid if you were forced to eat your lover for the sake of humanity so, by default, it has to be me!"

"You guys..." Eren mumbled, going unnoticed as Sasha continued her rambling.

"I dun wanna. I sure dun wanna though." Sasha trembled, the mere thought of everything Titan shifters had to go through repeating in her head on loop.

"Wait, huh? Isn't that weird?" Connie spoke up again

"What?"

"Well you know...you said an idiot's not fit for the role." Sasha raised an eyebrow at him, still confused, "You're more of an idiot than I am, so you're contradicting yourself." As Connie finished his explanation, the two exchanged Huh's and watched each other dramatically.

"Moral of the story, you're both idiots." You stood up from the hard box, "I'll inherit the Titan. Who knows maybe I'll be the first super sexy female attack Titan. Like Annie." You thought out loud

"You think Annie's Titan is hot?" Jean asked incredulously, you put one finger up and shushed him, not wanting to discuss the topic further.

"No. I don't want any of you to inherit it." Eren stated, "And especially not you." He looked at you.

"Oh come on, once you die I'll have nothing to live for. Besides, I don't wanna be old anyway." You shrugged nonchalantly, Eren shook his head.

"No! You guys are more important to me. More than anyone else. So, I want you to have long lives and..." he looked at you again, "when I die...I want you to move on—"

You cut him off with a scoff and grabbed your makeshift seat, dropping it next to his. "No, that's bullshit. I won't accept that." You protested

"So, what? You're just gonna wallow about me the rest of your life without even trying to do anything better?"

"Yes! That's exactly what I'm gonna do." Eren scoffed at your answer and shook his head.

"I'm serious." He snapped

"So am I! I don't wanna start a family some random person I know I'll never love. I don't want a home if it's not with you, Eren." you objected, "So, if worse comes to worst, i'll inherit your Titan." Eren sighed, already knowing he would never change your mind once it was made up.

"Bleh, keep the cute sappy stuff in the bedroom guys." Jean complained, lightening up the mood in the cart as everyone chucked lightly.

"Best get used to it, Kirstein." You swung your arm over Eren's shoulder, "I'm not leaving this Earth without my man." You said proudly, the boy blushing at your words.

My man. That's all he ever wanted to be to you. Yours. For now and forever, he didn't care if he had to trample anyone and everyone in his path, Eren would do anything to keep that title in your heart.

There was a point in time once when he thought of growing a family with you. Even though he felt he wouldn't be the best father in the world, he couldn't help but grasp at any straws that led to a happy ending with you.  Maybe in another life, he always thought to himself.

Another life where you were all free. Where all of you could be real teenagers, go to a normal high school, have normal life and live a full life. Where Ymir, Bertolt, Erwin and everybody else didn't have to die for the sake of everyone else. Where all of you could get a full nights sleep without constantly having to watch your back.

Yeah...another life sounded like bliss.

But another life is not what you had, what you had now was war.

A war none of you were prepared for. None except Eren, who proudly and happily pounded into the face of the war hammer Titan, not leaving any room for full transformations. Even as he became outnumbered with all odds against him, he was granted his final words in which he uttered a simple.

"It's now or never, Mikasa."

Unleashing all scouts in hiding as they rose up, dropping thunder spears into the Marleyan soldiers and aiding Eren in his fight. Bodies and bombs dropped left and right as Mikasa crouched down next to her best friend.

"Eren...Do you have any idea what you've done? You killed civilians, you killed children, too. You've done things that can't be undone." She pleaded with him, trying to see even a glimmer of sympathy in his eyes and yet there was none to be found.

"She's mad at you...you know that?" She tried once more, finally getting a hint of a reaction out of Eren. That reaction lasted only a millisecond and the hurt in his eyes was once again replaced with a look of dullness and lackluster of his usual bright blue ones.

He looked away, "She can be mad all she wants, it makes no difference to me. The fight isn't over." Mikasa gasped at the sight of the war hammer she'd just took down moments before standing right back up on its feet. And a constant pitter patter hit the back of her head at Eren's words.

How quickly he shoved aside your feelings and put his own before it, a rare thing Eren had never done before. But for now, your job in all this was to stay alive.

You assisted in as much combat as possible before making your way back into the airship along with the rest of the remaining scouts. Being the first to arrive on the ship meant biting your nails in anxiety as you waiting for everyone else to reach it. Armin reached down for the boy he once thought to be his best friend, pulling him up into the ship.

Just like the old days, Levi Ackerman had a couple kicks in store for Eren, not hesitating to remind him of how much he changed. Even bringing up his past in the underground and the dirty look Eren had grown into, never expecting to see it on the boy he gave up everything for. As much as it much as it hurt to see Eren being kicked around like a rag doll, you wouldn't get in the middle, especially knowing what he'd just done.

The lives he ended, the irreparable damage he had caused, it all gave Levi more than enough reason to toss him around. You, on the other hand, didn't make an effort to speak to him.

And for Eren, that was okay. If it would change anything, Eren would make you hate him for the rest of your life. If it would change anything, Eren could've saved Sasha. If it could change anything, Eren would restart everything and never invite you to play tag with him. He would steer clear from you at all costs. He would let you marry some townsman, have a couple kids and grow old inside the walls, never to be a witness of all the atrocities outside of them.

If Eren can change anything, he will make sure you stay alive. No matter who or what gets in his way, whether he has to tear down every wall or speak to Ymir Fritz her damn self, Eren Yeager will save you from death.

Eren Yeager will not leave this godforsaken earth without his woman.