#YEESH. hit me up guys

[as-the-stars-foretold]

someone send me doodle/sketch/drawing requests I've been drawing too much serious stuff this summer

I'll do aru shah, sanders sides, PJO/HOO/MCGA/TKC, trigun stampede, the atlas six, and the lunar chronicles. you have options guys come on lock in

[mammonscheeks]

obey me brothers reacting to a malnourished mc

⤑ a/n: I feel like this is the most canon writing I’ve ever done yet... enjoy! 

⤑ warnings: none 

obey me masterlist | requesting rules 

DEMON BROTHERS REACTING TO A MALNOURISHED MC 

“Hey, MC! You’re lucky because you get to go out with The Great Mammon tonight! We’ll hit the casino n’ leave with our pockets stuffed, and then we can go clubbing! What d’ya say?” 

“...”

“MC?” 

Mammon put his warm hands on your shoulders and shook gently, not used to your lack of response. He furrowed his eyebrows as he caught sight of the dark bags under your dull eyes. 

“Yeesh, MC! Did ya get into a fight or something?” Mammon joked, trying his best to hide the fact that he was worried about his human. 

“Huh?” you blinked as you realized you had just been zoning out. “I, uh.... Shit! I forgot my potions textbook in my room, I’ll see you all later!” 

“Language,” Lucifer sternly reminded you as you haphazardly scurried out of the classroom, your mind "lagging” as Leviathan would put it. The demon brothers watched you leave, shooting odd looks at each other. 

“I don’t think MC’s been getting enough sleep,” Belphie yawned.

“As much as I hate to agree with Belphegor, he’s right. They seem quite fatigued.” Lucifer said, staring intently at his brothers. “Leviathan, did you force MC to play video games with you all night again?”

“Don’t accuse me first,” Leviathan grumbled. “But no, I was catching up on some anime alone last night.”

“Maybe MC needs to eat some more,” Beelzebub said, snacking on some chips despite the ‘no food’ sign in the front of the classroom. “Oh, I have an idea! Let’s get Luke and Simeon to cook a celestial feast.” 

“You obviously only want that for your own self interest,” Satan rolled his eyes. “I’ve read a book on this. Maybe MC’s malnourished? Humans are fragile, of course. Additionally, the Devildom provides little natural light from the sun like in the human world.” 

“I know just the cure!” Asmodeus gasped, pulling up Akuzon on his D.D.D. “Aaand it’s ordered!” 

“You better not have used my Akuzon account for whatever beauty product you bought,” Leviathan raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh hush, Levi. Trust me, this will fix MC up right away!” 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

The package arrived by the end of the school day, thanks to Levi’s Akuzon Prime subscription. 

Mammon held up a colorful piece of gelatin in his hand, inspecting it thoroughly. 

“So this... Vitamin gummy... Is gonna help MC? This tiny little colorful thing? Seriously?” He grunted. 

“Wow... Humans are weaker than I imagined,” Satan frowned, squishing one in his hand. “They have to eat these to stay alive?”

“Beel, don’t you dare think about eating MC’s gummies,” Belphegor scolded his twin. 

“And don’t forget, I also got MC a sunlight lamp!” Asmodeus’ eyes glittered. “Apparently, these provide light therapy by tricking the human body into thinking they’re receiving natural light!” 

“It seems that humans have weak minds then,” Lucifer sighed. “Either that, or we’ve been fooled.” 

You walked into the HOL, stifling a yawn. Your entire body felt heavy from fatigue. It seemed like you had taken the human world’s abundance of sunlight and Vitamin D for granted. Solomon had helped you by casting a energy spell for the first few months you had lived here, but even that was starting to wear off.

“MC!” Mammon basically tripped over his brothers to rush to you. “Take one before you die!” 

Startled, you looked up just in time to see Mammon basically shoving a gummy in your mouth, before you were immediately blinded by Asmodeus holding a warm light in your face. 

You covered your face and squinted your eyes, seeing the eager and expecting eyes of the demon brothers. 

“Guys, what are you doing?” You questioned. This was pretty unexpected, but you were used to the brothers pranks and shenanigans. 

“We just wanted to help! We heard you were malnutritioned because it’s always dark in the Devildom!” Mammon said. 

“So we bought a sun lamp and some vitamin gummies for you,” Belphegor yawned. 

“Aw, guys... Thank you!” You smiled happily. Even though you hadn’t told the brothers explicitly what was wrong, thinking you could take care of it yourself, they had of course, noticed. Your heart swelled with appreciation, until you noticed that the brothers were still staring at you expectantly, like you were about to turn into some mutant creature. 

“Uhh.. You guys do know that it’ll take a few days for my body to recover, right?” You shrugged. 

“Oh..” Satan sighed, as the brothers looked disappointed. “I thought the effects would have been immediate.” 

“Laaame,” Leviathan said. “A power-up type feature would have been way cooler! Like, imagine if MC ate that thing and grew 10 feet in size to defeat the final boss!” 

“That’s fine, MC. Just focus on resting. I’ve excused you from classes for the rest of the week,” Lucifer said. “This is an quality of humans we should have researched more during the planning stage of the exchange program. Diavolo also sends his apologies.” 

"Thank you Lucifer, but it’s no big deal,” you smiled. “Well, I’m going to go take a nap now.” 

"I’ll come with,” Belphegor yawned. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Mammon yelled, running after the two. “I’m the only one allowed in MC’s bed!” 

“Hey, don’t forget about me! I’m bringing the lamp!” Asmo cried, waving it in the air. 

“You know, I also read that cuddling with a partner can help fatigue,” Satan blushed, following behind. 

“I’ll bring some snacks for us,” Beelzebub called after. 

“I’ll bring my TSL movies so we can have some background sound!” Leviathan ran after. “Don’t you dare start without me!” 

Lucifer sighed, looking after his brothers scrambling to get to MC. From having spells backfire on you, battling unique health concerns, and getting preyed on by lower-ranking demons, your acclimation to the Devildom had faced many obstacles. However, Lucifer knew that he and his brothers would do anything to ensure you had a support system. 

As you fell asleep with the weight and warmth of your favorite people around you, you couldn’t help but feel loved and cared for. 

[theemissuniverse]

COMEDIC RELIEF! FEM!READER INTROS WITH MK 11 CAST PART 1

SUMMARY : You are a powerful Earthrealm warrior with the ability to pick up peoples fighting styles. (Basically Shujinko.) and shapeshift into them. You were once a part of the Black Dragon and dated Kano but left.

WARNING : Suggestive dialogue.

A/N : This was fun. I missed doing this.

ROMANCE FLIRTY DIALOGUE

Kung Lao

Fujin

Scorpion

Kitana

Nightwolf

Shao Kahn

Probably more that I forgot. main character wants to f with everything tbh

FATALITIES

Rock, Paper, Scissors

(Y/N) will shape shift into Scorpion first. She’ll throw the spear at the opponent and yell “Get Over Here!” She’ll pull you over towards her. She’ll shape shift into Sindel and use her scream, making all the skin pull off her opponent. Then she’ll change into Liu Kang and preform his bicycle kick to go right through her opponent.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

(Y/N) will change into whoever her opponent is. Then hit her opponent in the face repeatedly saying, “why are you hitting yourself?” The manically laugh and do a spin kick to kick their head off.

FRIENDS

Kung Lao

Scorpion (one sided on her side)

Nightwolf

Noob Saibot (one sided on her side)

Kitana

Liu Kang

Cassie Cage

Fujin

ALLIES

Sheeva

Sub-Zero

Raiden

Jax Briggs

Johnny Cage

Jacqui Briggs

NEUTRAL

Rain

Mileena

Jade

Erron Black

Kabal

Baraka

Kotal Kahn

ENIMES

Cetrion

Frost

Shao Kahn (one sided on her side)

D’Vorah

Geras

Kano

Skarlet

Sonya Blade

Shang Tsung

Kollector

Sindel

DIALOGUE

(Y/N) #1 : Who’s hotter? Kung Lao or NightWolf?

(Y/N) #2 : Shao Kahn.

(Y/N) #1 : There’s no hope for you.

(Y/N) #2 : Okay round two. Who’s hotter? Kitana or Sonya?

(Y/N) #1 : Skarlet.

(Y/N) #2 : Dear god, what is wrong with you?

(Y/N) : Is it hot in here or is it just you?

SCORPION : It’s me.

(Y/N) : I can’t tell if you’re going along with my flirting or if you mean that literally.

(Y/N) : *shape shifted into Scorpion* Get over here!

SCORPION : How many times are you going to say that?

(Y/N) : *back to normal* Until it gets old.

(Y/N) : *imitating Smoke* Where there is Smoke there is fire!

SCORPION : I do not say that.

(Y/N) : One of you ninja freaks do.

(Y/N) : *shape shifted into Sub-Zero but with Scorpion’s voice* Get over here!

SUB-ZERO : I do not say that.

(Y/N) : *back to normal* It’s not my fault you don’t got a cool catchphrase.

(Y/N) : Come on, Kuai, don’t give me the cold shoulder. Ha! Get it? Because you got frosty powers?

SUB-ZERO : Yes. I get it, (Y/N).

(Y/N) : Cool. Glad we’re on the same page.

JADE : You and Johnny Cage are a headache.

(Y/N) : Yeah but I’m the funny one right?

JADE : By the gods…

(Y/N) : You’re cute when you get all fiery.

JADE : I am not nor will I ever be interested,

(Y/N) : Are you Outworld women conceited? I was trynna be all girl power and compliment you.

(Y/N) : 50 bucks says I beat you.

RAIDEN : I do not wager money.

(Y/N) : If you’re broke just say that.

(Y/N) : Come on, Raiden! Hook me up with Fujin.

RAIDEN : I will not play matchmaker with my brother.

(Y/N) : So you’re broke and not a matchmaker? What are you good for?

LIU KANG : Are you ready for training?

(Y/N) : Not if Kung Lao isn’t here.

LIU KANG : You know you’re the only person to utter that.

(Y/N) : Double or nothing!

LIU KANG : *laughs* I have already beaten you twenty times, (Y/N).

(Y/N) : So??? I will be the last one standing!

(Y/N) : Is it hot in here or is it just you?

LIU KANG : Didn’t you use that line on Scorpion?

(Y/N) : Give me a break. I can’t keep track of everything I said.

(Y/N) : Do your bicycle kick into Shao Kahn. He won’t leave me alone.

LIU KANG : I pity that you have to deal with that.

(Y/N) : The chosen one pities me? I must be dead meat.

(Y/N) : I’m not the bad guy anymore, Sonya.

SONYA BLADE : You were with Kano. Bad guy still stands with you.

(Y/N) : Yeesh. If you want to fuck him, go ahead.

(Y/N) : *shape shifted into Sonya but with Kano’s voice* ‘Ello baby, did you miss me?

SONYA BLADE : That’s not funny.

(Y/N) : *back to normal* Don’t be jealous cuz you can’t do the voice.

KUNG LAO : How come you haven’t trained with me?

(Y/N) : I’m scared I’ll hurt you.

KUNG LAO : Oh, sweetheart. That’s just not possible.

KUNG LAO : You dated Kano?!

(Y/N) : Are you judging me, Lao?

KUNG LAO : I just didn’t know your type was losers.

KUNG LAO : It seems like all the men want you.

(Y/N) : I know right? I’m a total catch.

KUNG LAO : None are better than me.

(Y/N) : You know the Darth Vader thing you got going on is kinda hot.

NOOB SAIBOT : I will bring you to death.

(Y/N) : Okay on second thought….

NOOB SAIBOT : Your fighting is impressive for an Earthrealm woman.

(Y/N) : Why thank you dark shadow thing.

NOOB SAIBOT : That doesn’t mean you can beat me.

(Y/N) : Come on, Bi-Han. We were buddies, remember?

NOOB SAIBOT : I tolerated you. I do not like you.

(Y/N) : We’ll that’s just hurtful.

(Y/N) : Come on. Say it. Just once.

KANO : *sighs* Throw a shrimp on the Barbie.

(Y/N) : Aww. You do still love me.

KANO : That bloke still hitting on you?

(Y/N) : You know how many men I have lined up? You’re going to have to be more specific.

KANO : The one with the stupid hat.

KANO : Your last chance to come back to me.

(Y/N) : I’d rather be with Shao Kahn than you.

KANO : You got yourself a death wish.

MILEENA : Come dance with me.

(Y/N) : How about no?

MILEENA : Then I’ll make you.

(Y/N) : I’m kinda into the whole vampire thing.

SKARLET : I am no vampire you mistake.

(Y/N) : Ouch. That wasn’t even necessary.

JOHNNY CAGE : You and me would make the hottest couple in Hollywood.

(Y/N) : I’d rather die than be caught dating a white American man.

JOHNNY CAGE : Death over dating me? Seriously?

(Y/N) : Now that I think about it, Takeda is kinda cute.

JACQUI BRIGGS : Don’t even (Y/N).

(Y/N) : What? I said I was thinking it.

JACQUI BRIGGS : Don’t say it…

(Y/N) : Okay I won’t….your dad’s kinda hot -

JACQUI BRIGGS : Stop it!

(Y/N) : To what do I owe this displeasure?

D’VORAH : The Kahn wants you. Alive.

(Y/N) : The Kahn will be disappointed then.

(Y/N) : *shape shifted into Shang Tsung* Your soul is mine!

SHANG TSUNG : I sound nothing like that!

(Y/N) : *back to normal* Sure you don’t…

SINDEL : You are too weak for Shao Kahn.

(Y/N) : And yet…he wants me more than you.

SINDEL : A fatal mistake he has made.

KITANA : Tell Kung Lao I am not interested.

(Y/N) : Because you’re going to admit your undying love for me right?

KITANA : *laughs* You amuse me, (Y/N).

CASSIE CAGE : So do you like girls or boys?

(Y/N) : I like whatever looks good.

CASSIE CAGE : That is such a ‘you’ answer.

CASSIE CAGE : Come on, admit it. You like him a little.

(Y/N) : He keeps sending human hearts at my door. No!

CASSIE CAGE : Who knew Shao Kahn was a romantic?

(Y/N) : You know you want me.

JAX BRIGGS : Tuh. Not exactly my type.

(Y/N) : What I gotta do? Get a cheap blonde wig?

KABAL : Fighting me won’t make you gain all my moves.

(Y/N) : That is literally how it works.

KABAL : Ah shit.

SHAO KAHN : I will kill all my concubines just to have you.

(Y/N) : Why doesn’t anyone normal want me?

SHAO KAHN : You did not deny me.

SHAO KAHN : Earthrealm is wasting your power.

(Y/N) : Let me guess, you have better use for it?

SHAO KAHN : More than you know.

(Y/N) : Tell your scream queen wife to leave me alone.

SHAO KAHN : Her jealousy is its own weapon.

(Y/N) : How the hell did the tyrant want me?!

(Y/N) : Stop sending me human hearts in a box. It’s weird.

SHAO KAHN : What would you like for me to do?

(Y/N) : Not send me human hearts???

(Y/N) : How come you’re not my mentor and Raiden is?

FUJIN : Because we wouldn’t be able to go through one lesson without you flirting.

(Y/N) : I can’t help it if you’re hot.

(Y/N) : I’m ready to be blown away Fujin. Get it? Because you control the wind. And stuff…

FUJIN : Yes, (Y/N). I get it.

(Y/N) : Good. Let’s tussle.

(Y/N) : 50 bucks says I beat you.

FUJIN : Are you sure you want to lose all your money?

(Y/N) : Oh you think you’re the funny one here?

FUJIN : Ignore Shao Kahn’s advances, (Y/N).

(Y/N) : You say that like I’ve been hanging around with him.

FUJIN : After finding out about Sindel, I don’t know what to expect.

FUJIN : Your power is most impressive.

(Y/N) : *giggling* I take that like you’re flirting with me.

FUJIN : You take everything I say as me flirting with you.

NIGHTWOLF : You are a powerful warrior, (Y/N).

(Y/N) : *giggling* You make me blush, Nightwolf.

NIGHTWOLF : Show me what you can do.

(Y/N) : If your name isn’t Nightwolf then what is it?

NIGHTWOLF : I will never hear the end of it if I tell you.

(Y/N) : Aw. Don’t be shy, Nighty.

OTHER INTROS MENTIONING YOU

LIU KANG : (Y/N) says she likes you better than me.

KUNG LAO : Smart and beautiful. What doesn’t she have?

LIU KANG : The sense to realize I am the better one.

SHAO KAHN : I will have (Y/N) and take over Earthrealm.

KUNG LAO : Tuh. Don’t think you’re her type.

SHAO KAHN : Says the one who gets rejected for Liu Kang.

LIU KANG : You know…(Y/N) doesn’t seem like your type.

KANO : She wasn’t personality wise but body wise she was.

LIU KANG : You are truly insufferable, Kano.

SINDEL : That pretender has gotten under your skin.

SHAO KAHN : I don’t need you of all people to tell me that.

SINDEL : That rat will die where she stands.

SCORPION : Your ex will not stop showing her affections for me.

KANO : She’ll fuck anything with a pulse.

SCORPION : She dated you. I expect that.

RAIDEN : (Y/N), keeps asking about you.

FUJIN : Really? What has she said?

RAIDEN : Do not fall for a mortal, brother.

JOHNNY CAGE : We all know you wanna bone (Y/N), dude.

NIGHTWOLF : I can’t tell if you’re (Y/N) impersonating Cage or if that’s really you.

JOHNNY CAGE : Really? We act that much alike?

JADE : How are you friends with (Y/N)?

KITANA : She’s not as bad as you think she is, Jade.

JADE : I highly doubt that.

FUJIN : Stay away from, (Y/N).

SHAO KAHN : I am not threatened by an air bender.

FUJIN : You should be.

SONYA BLADE : (Y/N) is not your friend, Cassie.

CASSIE CAGE : Can’t you put your beef in the past? She’s cool.

SONYA BLADE : Once a black dragon, always a black dragon.

TOWER ENDING

I’m pretty much a badass so it was expected that I was the one to defeat Kronika. There was one thing I wasn’t sure about. The hourglass.

Changing history would mean the relationships I’ve made along the way would be forgotten. And I would go back to being the evil bitch in the Black Dragon.

In the new timeline, I made it exactly how it should be. Liu Kang and Kung Lao heroes. Shang Tsung, Shao Kahn, and the others casted away like they never existed.

Everything was supposed to be peaceful.

I started to feel a newfound boredom. Because there was no chaos and I made everything perfect, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The people I’ve once cared about had no recollection of me and I didn’t know what to be. The only reason why I was one of the good guys was because of the people that were near and dear to my heart.

So I did what I do best, I played the bad guy.

And damn does it feel good to be the bad guy again.

A/N : part 2 or mk 1 next?????

[vaaaaaiolet]

A broken backspace key, two rival magazines, and love letters sent through email. It’s the 2000's and Raccoon Mag’s prize photojournalist lands himself a secret admirer. 

You. 

gn / m, fluff, romance via email love letters, how to lose a guy in 10 days-esque, just a cutesy romcom, reader works a stereotypically female job but no pronouns mentioned!

word count: 2.4k // read on ao3

a/n: title inspired by the alicia keys song ofc. thank you to the lovely @kennedysbaby for the prompt inspo and endless support while writing this! this isn't my usual writing style so i'm kinda nervous AHGH but i thought it was cute LMAO. i <3 u!!

From: howtodept@starsweek.com To: lskennedy@raccoonmag.com 

Subject: You Don’t Know My Name

Dear Mr. Kennedy,

I hope this email never finds you well. 

No, no, that came out wrong, I swear! Gosh, I’m not sure how to work the backspace on these new computers. What I mean to say is that I hope this email never finds you.

I’m the new hire for the How To column at STARS Week magazine. They haven’t quite set up an email address with my name yet: I’m using the one readers mail their questions to. It’s a bit of a blessing to not have my name attached to this mortifying message now that I think about it. 

You must be wondering, why does an Agony Aunt columnist from your media rival have your email in the first place? You, the top photojournalist at Raccoon Mag, the highlight of all newsstands. You must think I’m crazy. 

But the thing is that I think you’re simply wonderful.

You visited our office last week. Surely you remember walking into the great big glass doors of the STARS building. Aren’t they glamorous? They make me feel like a hotshot movie journalist when really I just write back to teenage girls and help them pick out the right nail color, or tell middle-aged moms how to dress less like they rolled out of an outdated Sears catalog. I’m eternally grateful to get to work here – Ms. Hunnigan really did a favor taking me on – but I can’t help feeling like a bird with its wings clipped, stuck in a glass cage. I could be doing so much more with my talents. And don’t tell me that I already am; I know my advice articles don’t work because my own mom still wears stripes with polka dots.

Yeesh.

So when you came by last week with your great big camera filled with pictures of all your travels around the world, you caught my eye right away. 

You weren’t wearing a suit like all the other big shots in the STARS office. Mr. Kennedy, you came to what Ms. Hunnigan would consider “the biggest business risk of your life” dressed in a polo and slacks, still looking sharper than our Man of the Month, with not a word extra to say because your photos spoke for themselves.

Mr. Kennedy, I was working my measly little column when I overheard Ms. Hunnigan’s surprise at your refusal to take a dime for the photojournalism you brought to our office. Your manila folder was filled with pictures from a recently hurricane-hit island, one I’m embarrassed to say I only learned of from your spirited tirade. You didn’t care that Raccoon Mag and STARS Week were sworn enemies. All you cared about was combining readers’ donations for disaster relief. I thought it was mighty noble of you.

You didn’t flinch once at Ms. Hunnigan’s unforgiving stare and I know how hard that can be because I got the same one when I asked to switch to a journalism department instead. Ms. Hunnigan isn’t too keen on putting effort where there isn’t turnover. But you came anyway, and you left victorious simply because you wanted to help people that badly.

I think you can assume why I scrapped my article this week about getting over crushes. There’s going to be a horribly empty space in my column if I don’t figure out how to type something other than your name soon. Hence this email. 

(You left your business card on Ms. Hunnigan’s desk, if you’re still wondering how I’m sending this to the right email address. I’m not too shabby at snooping around, in a journalism kind of way, of course.)

I don’t think this counts as getting over a crush. I don’t suppose you have any ideas?

Yours sincerely, You Don’t Know My Name

> Saved as Draft (7/7/2003)

> Continue Saved Draft? YES

From: howtodept@starsweek.com To: lskennedy@raccoonmag.com

Dear Mr. Kennedy,

Did you see the smiles of the children who got their school rebuilt thanks to your disaster relief proposal? I’m sure you did: their pictures, along with all the other photos from the donation effort, got printed front and center on this week’s issue! I nearly sold out the newsstand from all the Raccoon Mag copies I bought the morning they came off the press. Had to hide them from Ms. Hunnigan too; she wasn’t too happy about my less-than-juicy column last week. 

But that’s not for you to worry about, Mr. Kennedy. I’ll figure something else out. Like what color fabric makes your eyes pop, subtle ways to tell a coworker you’re interested in more than just drinks after work, what to eat to look and feel your best in less than two weeks.

On a completely unrelated note, I can’t help but look forward to when you come back to STARS Week in less than a month (according to Ms. Hunnigan’s desk calendar).

You’ve inspired me to get back into journalism; put my degree to use. I didn’t graduate top of my class just to tell people what hairstyle goes with what neckline! I’m clumsy with cameras and not too nifty with technology (I still can’t figure out where that backspace key is!) but I’m a sure hand with a pen. I go to the library after work now and spend hours researching global issues to write about when I get home. My collection of research articles is coming right along. Kind of like your manila folder. I flatter myself.

I wonder what you write, what you read. What makes Leon Kennedy laugh? What does he read before bed, what makes him think? I wonder if we laugh at the same bad jokes. 

Email is a strange mode of communication. There’s an awful lot of dishonesty involved. You get to pick and choose what you leave out. I suppose I don’t get that luxury with my lack of backspace, but it’s the same in conversation when you don’t get to backtrack on what comes out of your mouth. Would it be silly of me to dream that I’m having a conversation with you like this? Through my keyboard?

I’d much rather hear you in conversation, I have to admit. You’ve got a lovely voice. The rest of us are just lucky you decided to use it for good and speak out about the problems of the world despite what may or may not sell (sorry, Ms. Hunnigan). I might even be lucky enough to hear my name fall from your lips one day. Are…oh gosh, this is making me shy. Damn you, backspace key. But I wonder what it feels like to kiss you, Mr. Kennedy. 

I hear tying cherry stems with your tongue makes you a good kisser. I’ll be sure to learn. Maybe if we ever hit the town and we get drinks, I could show you? I’m not even sure what kind of drinks have cherries on top. That’s more a milkshake or ice cream thing. I’d be delighted to get either with you; I even know a trick to cure brain freeze in a second! I hope that’s incentive enough. I’m quite partial to cookie dough if you’d like to share. Not so much if you’re a fan of rum raisin.

And then over ice cream, we could talk about everything under the sun. Your pictures, my writing, bad jokes, good jokes, your favorite rom-coms, important questions like that.

(I’m kidding, promise. The rom-com one is important though. I hope you understand.)

There so much I’d love to talk to you about. But for now, I’m content with sitting in my cubicle in the corner, hiding behind my potted plant and hoping for a glimpse of your golden hair through Ms. Hunnigan’s office doors when you come by. But as all good things must come to an end, here comes the end of this email to my Raccoon Mag Romeo. 

Looking forward to your nonexistent response, You Don’t Know My Name

> Saved as Draft (8/12/2003)

> Continue Saved Draft? YES

From: howtodept@starsweek.com To: lskennedy@raccoonmag.com

Dear Mr. Kennedy,

You used to be in the police academy before you worked for Raccoon Mag? 

Gosh, I hope my snooping doesn’t come off untoward, truly, I don’t mean to – it’s just that you’ve been coming to STARS Week so frequently this month and you didn’t visit in the last few days and…well, I missed seeing you. So it seems I’m remedying that with novice-level stalker work. Er, journalism. 

I’m marvelously impressed by you is all. Your sense of justice runs deeper than I thought. I wonder what made you choose this line of work instead of the force? 

For what it’s worth, digging up your past work introduced me to several fascinating topics. If Ms. Hunnigan lets up on her workload, she might even have time to look at the piece I’ve been drafting all month! You’ve inspired me in more ways than one, Mr. Kennedy, so you understand why I’m eager to see you again in the hope of showing you what I’ve written. I could slip my article into your folder, leave it in an envelope next to the cup of coffee you always let cool on the receptionist’s desk before going into the copy room…

But there might not be a point avoiding you anymore. I’m afraid you’ll run into me sooner than later with the number of errands Ms. Hunnigan sends me on around the office.

Worse yet, I think someone’s caught on to me. 

Claire from Sports is starting to ask about all these emails I type up while my How To assignment of the week sits by its lonesome next to my potted plant. I wish these keyboards weren’t so loud and cranky! They rattle up a storm when I type these emails to you, but turn quiet as mice when it comes time for me to work on my dreadful How Tos. Snitches get stitches, don’t you know?

But I’d never snitch on you, Mr. Kennedy. A tiny part of me hopes you’ve caught on to who hides an extra donut in the fridge for you from our office breakfasts. Rest assured that I can do much better than slightly stale office donuts, though. 

So if that ice cream date doesn’t work out, we could head downtown to Marvin’s on a Thursday for the best chocolate donuts I swear you’ve ever tasted. Thursday is when they bake them up fresh and I know a table by the street where the sunset looks the prettiest. A treat for you and a treat for your camera, how’s that? 

You don’t even know what you’re doing to me. I feel all crazy inside, giddy and smiling over my research like unpaid overtime I’m all too happy to take on. I really hope to show you my article soon. There’s nothing more romantic to a journalist than setting your facts straight next to somebody who smiles like the sun, like you, Mr. Kennedy. I might even dream of my article being printed next to your pictures one day.

But as short as today’s email to you might be, I hope our time together isn’t. The security team is redoing the How To department’s computers after Ms. Hunnigan’s keyboard started acting up – something about manufacturing issues. Remember that pesky backspace key of mine? They’re fixing it later today! 

Actually, they’re fixing it right now. The team’s coming over to my desk, so I’m going to have to enDKJJL

> Send Email? SFHALFNO

> Input detected. Email sending… NJOS NON DON”T SEND 

> Email sent successfully! (9/16/2003)

From: lskennedy@raccoonmag.com To: howtodept@starsweek.org

Subject: RE: You Don’t Know My Name

I’m submitting an answer for July’s How To: how do I get over a crush?

If I’m being honest, I’ve written and rewritten this email a fair number of times. I’m not good with my words. That’s why I take pictures: they say everything I leave unspoken. But it’s also why I’ve grown so fond of a certain How To columnist because they’re not afraid to put their feelings to pen, rather, keyboard. 

It’s just a shame that their name isn’t on any of the sweet emails they sent me. And it’s not like I can just go up to my boss and ask. If I’m their Raccoon Mag Romeo (see what I mean when I say they’ve got a way with words?), they’re the Capulet I’m after. 

So I took a page out of my admirer’s book and went snooping. It’s what a journalist does best, right? 

Marvin’s an old friend of mine. I went to his shop last Thursday to find out who comes for donuts and stays for the sunset. His donuts taste better than the office ones for sure, but there’s something a little sweeter about the thought behind the latter. FYI: my lips are sealed.

All this donut and ice cream business makes me think my admirer’s got a sweet tooth. I’m willing to share any ice cream that isn’t rum raisin either. Cookie dough is a close second to my personal favorite – mint chocolate chip – but that brain freeze trick is enough to convince me to have both. What do you say we try out all the flavors? You might even come across a scoop to write about, you never know. (RE: your question about bad jokes, how was that?)

And last but not least, Claire from STARS Week Sports isn’t too tight-lipped. She was perfectly charming when I asked about any deskmates with clunky keyboards who’ve been quite busy recently, so it really wasn’t that hard to find out who this kind, endearing, and incredibly talented admirer of mine is. 

You needn’t sneak your article into my folder because I found a copy of it on your desk with my name written on the bottom. You say you’ve only been working on this since I came for the disaster relief deal? That’s only two months!

Color me impressed. Ms. Hunnigan would be a fool to miss out on the untapped talent sitting in her How To department, so I think it would be a great idea to bring your article to her together. I’d be honored to straighten out any facts with you, though I doubt there’s much I can add to what you’ve compiled. My camera is at your disposal.

Let’s talk details over those donuts, then? It’s Thursday. I’ll wait by the bench outside the STARS building. I have a feeling it’ll be a nice change from sending emails. 

Yours sincerely (and I do know your name), Leon

(P.S. Personally, I hope this isn’t a crush you need to get over.)

(9/18/2003)

psst, find more of my work here!

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!

[astaroth1357]

Flipping the Script: Leviathan Meet-Cute (Human World AU)

So what if you met the demon boys in the human world instead? You’re not magic. You’re not special. You’re an average little human that came crashing into some demons one day. Good luck!

Contents: Pretty new format for me, second person (you), forgive any wonkiness

Part One (You are here), Part Two, Part Three (Coming Soon...)

~♡♡♡~

You’re a hardcore otaku influencer with a niche in creating and sharing cosplay. You’ve befriended a lot of other enthusiasts pursuing your passions, but there was one guy that you met at a recent convention that stood out from all of the rest.

The Seven Lords was just having yet another milestone anniversary, so several friends in your circle all decided to get together and do a group cosplay for the fans, you all were even offered space for a panel and locations for meet-and-greets! Your whole fanbase was ecstatic, and so were you, but there was just one problem…

The friend that agreed to be your Third Lord backed out at the last minute! His baggage was totally lost on the flight there and suddenly your whole group was without a member to complete the set. Though you knew it wasn’t a huge deal, you hated to disappoint your fans who were looking for a full group photo-op…

But then you saw this guy waiting around your hotel lobby-

“I can't believe Wess had to cancel on us…!” You thought to yourself while tapping your foot furiously against the hotel's linoleum floor. You were waiting for check-in last night when your collaborator sent his text to everyone, and your team still hadn’t found a suitable replacement… How could you guys have a TSL photo event without a Lord of Shadows?? Especially when you're the one dressed as Henry! What self-respecting group TSL cosplay doesn’t have those two together?? They're the closest pair in the show! The Sun and Shadow shippers were going to start a riot…

You were all still double-checking your gear and supplies down in the lobby. Months of work had gone into planning and prepping for this event… Your friends were trying to calm you down as best as they could, but your nerves weren’t on your side… You hated letting down your fans, even if it was entirely out of your control. But without a replacement, what exactly could you do? Just as you were about to throw in the towel and get dressed, a bunch of shouting from the hallway entrance caught your attention.

“Why the hell am I stuck carryin’ all your crap, huh Levi?! Ya got two working hands!”

“Because this outfit is heavy, Mam-er-Malcom! I need help, or else I'll get sweaty and gross!”

“You're already gross, so what's it matter?”

“Shut up, scumbag!!”

'Yeesh, what a loud pair...' You turned to look their way with a visible frown to show your annoyance only for your jaw hit the floor. Two men walked out of the hall and into the lobby, one being a dark-skinned male with the whitest hair you'd ever seen, and the other… Sweet kami-sama above, the other guy…!!

He. Was. Perfect!! The dark, shadowy armor, constructed fron what you could only guess was EVA foam and faux furs, combined with his violet hair made him look like the spitting image of the Third Lord! It was almost like the character himself had climbed off the page!! You had to cover your mouth to contain an audible gasp of shock while glancing at the others in your team. Only a few of your friends had noticed the man's arrival, but those who had all shot you back the same kind of look, “Go get that guy. NOW!” Who were you to refuse?

The god-tier Third Lord cosplayer was still arguing with his companion when you first made your approach, allowing you to sneak up pretty close without getting noticed. By the time you were in speaking distance, you were already marveling at the craftsmanship of his cosplay up close. The foam pieces looked flawlessly metallic and there were no patches of hot glue mishaps, frayed stitching, or painting mistakes. It was truly something else!

“Hey, what'cha gawkin’ at??”

The white-haired male caught you red-handed, leading the cosplayer in his company to turn in your direction. Though, amusingly, the moment your eyes met he seemed just as star struck as you were. You wasted no time thrusting your hand out towards him with your most “camera-winning” smile.

“Hi! Uhm, I’m Y/n L/n and I'm-"

“-the most popular cosplay model on Instagram, three-time champion of the WCS competitions, and the host of the ‘TSL Today’ fan podcast-!”

You froze from surprise as the cosplayer slapped his mouth shut with his own hand in a bid to stop rambling. His cheeks instantly tinged pink as he must have realized that he was spitting your own resume at you in excitement. It was hard not to feel a bit flattered at the sudden eruption of joy, so you smiled back more genuinely.

“That’s right! You've heard of me?”

You waited for his response with a patient, maybe even endeared, gaze. Seeing that you weren’t immediately weirded out by his hyped babbling, he uncovered his mouth to respond shyly.

“Y-yeah, of course I do…! I uh… came here to see your meet-and-greet today…”

He winced, face getting hotter, and looked like he wanted to double over from embarrassment, but honestly, you couldn’t have been happier. A creator of THIS caliber was one of YOUR fans?? Talk about a “diamond in the rough” moment!

“Really? That’s awesome!! Because I couldn’t help but notice that cosplay you're wearing… Did you make it yourself?”

How his face recalibrated from flustered to ecstatic in just a few seconds could have made your heart melt. After he confirmed that his cosplay was his own handiwork you began to gush about the design, asking rapid-fire questions about the materials he bought, what patterns he found, and his different sewing techniques. You both were so caught up in each other's passion that you hardly even registered the other guy standing next to him until he finally cleared his throat insistently.

“Yo Levi… This crap’s gettin’ heavy. Are we going or what?”

The cosplayer, who you guessed was Levi, turned to the man reluctantly, which sent a surge of panic through you as you still hadn’t asked him to stay.

“Wait!!”

Both men flinched a bit at your sudden exclamation, making your cheeks flush with color, but you pressed on regardless,

“Um, Levi right? My team and I could use your help… Our Third Lord just dropped out on us today because of baggage troubles and we really need a replacement for the shoot. Your outfit is fantastic! Do you think that you could step into the role for us? I have early access badges to the vendors room, so we can take a look together if that uh… if that…? Um. Levi...?”

The man in front of you looked like he was moments away from breaking down in tears, but somehow holding them back through sheer force of will… and his closed eyelids making a decent dam.

“H-hold on… I think I need to pinch myself because this can’t be happening. Is this actually happening?”

His voice wobbled while the man next to him, Malcolm(?), rolled his eyes behind his gold-tinted glasses.

“Hey, that doesn’t answer their questions, ya know?” He elbowed Levi while looking at you with a serious expression, “Are ya willin’ to take him AND his stuff with ya?”

“Of course! It’s important to have everything while yo-”

“Great. You can have’em.”

You were taken aback just a bit by the speed of his response, but not as much as Levi because he quickly leapt back into the conscious world in a panic!

“Wha-wh-Whaah?? You can’t just answer for me!!”

Malcolm shrugged his shoulders, letting several bags he had on slide to the ground but cushioning the fall a bit with his foot.

“Why not? It’s clear ya wanna go with them. Unless you wanna leave them hangin'…”

“N-No!! I mean, yes! No-er UGH!”

You watched Levi cover his face in frustration feeling a twinge of sympathy. Does he get tongue-tied like this often? After a few seconds to compose himself, he finally straightened up to give his true response.

“Y-yes, I want to go with you…! Being able to help one of your online idols is like a dream come true for any fan! What can I do to help?”

You could feel your smile grow twice as wide from the combination of relief and gratitude. Maybe the shoot would go alright after all…

“Give me your hand.”

Levi stuttered watching you reach your hand out towards his, using your other one to pull out a black marker that you always kept on your person for fans. His skin was soft, but strangely cold, when he rested his knuckles into your upturned palm. The icy jolt even made you jump a bit. Holy crap, was he cold-blooded or something?? When he flashed you a concerned glance, you quickly recovered uncapped the marker between your fingers. With years of built up practice, you ran the black ink over his pale skin, but instead of a signature, you left one of your burner numbers that you used for interacting with collaborators.

“Here. We still need a bit of time to get ready, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the con. Text me your name and I'll send you back where to meet up once we're ready to go.”

Levi was staring at the black marks on his hand like you'd just handed him a key item in a video game when one of your team shouted back from behind you.

“Y/n! Why aren’t you dressed yet?? We gotta go!”

“Shit, I’m coming!” You turned to head back, but you spared just a second to smile at Levi over your shoulder. “Thank you so much, Levi, you're going to be a huge help! Don't forget to text.”

“I won’t!”

Levi's promise made you grin lift even higher. With a wink and a wave, you made your way back to the others with a brand new pep in your step. Mission, saved!!

Meanwhile…

“… Did ya seriously just score a number in that getup?”

“I swear, I’ll never wash this hand again...!!”

“Fuck's sake, Levi, stop being so gross! At least put it in your phone before your sweaty palms wipe it off!”

“Gah, you're right!!”

[collywobbles-n-whatnot]

Extra Extra! (various Yandere x reader)

Reader x Hendrix

(Tabloid journalist! Reader x Rock god! Yandere)

“That was the last time. I can’t keep doing this,” Your breathing evened out as you stared at the ceiling. 

“You said that last time,” Hendrix chuckled and zipped up his jeans. The rockstar sat at the edge of the bed, your dorm was the best spot for your evening escapades since you were one of the few with a single. 

“But I mean it this time. I need to focus on my studies. This also just isn’t me. I mean it’s hot what we’re doing but I’m just not a hit it and quit it person,” you pulled the blankets up over your chest. 

“Could’ve fooled me. We’ll see how you feel next time, huh?” He places his arms on either side of you on the mattress to hover. 

“No next time. No sex. No flirting, not even a wink,” you don’t waver as you look him dead in the eye. It would be all the harder to write about his deepest secrets if you were all tangled up in his life and his legs between the sheets. If you wanted the check you’d have to make some sacrifices. To be fair this is not normal for you at all. You like cute dates with cappachino with latte art and buying each other books you’d think the other would love. But when opportunity knocks and it happens to be one of your top ten celebrity crushes… maybe an exception or three could be made. 

“No fun. What if I promise to do that thing you like,” he sticks out his pierced tongue and you just stare at him. “Yeesh, okay prude. Can we still be friends?” He asks and your face softens into contemplation with no immediate answer. Hendrix adjusts to pin your wrists into the mattress, “Let me rephrase that, I’ll accept your terms if we can still be friends. Otherwise, no deal. We’ll never leave this bed and you’ll never be unsatisfied until we both die of hunger or dehydration or something,” his tone is teasing but his grip was firm. 

“Of course we can still be friends. I just don’t know how you’ll be able to resist all this if we’re hanging out all the time,” You hum brattily. 

“Lord give me strength, I’ll probably need it,” he released you and put his hands together in a little prayer. 

“Ha ha. I’m sure you have a rolodex of hotties with way more experience and curves than me. You’ll survive,” you patted his bare chest and sat up with the sheets in hand. 

“Is that someone talking bad about my best friend. They better be careful, I might have to rough ‘em up,” he leaned his nose into the crook of your neck. You take his chin and swivel his head to the other direction. 

“Woah there, I didn’t say best friends. You might need to work your way up to that,” you stand to find the missing pieces of your uniform on the ground and Hendrix takes a moment to appreciate your butt and get lost in thought. His stomach has been in knots and he couldn’t remember the last time he was this genuinely nervous. He also isn’t sure of the last time he’s been rejected either. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all. He didn’t like that each time he came over for a little fun there was littered evidence of other guys around. Clayton’s varsity jacket rested on your desk chair, Arthur’s specific brand of note tabs filled your textbook, Brayden’s little bobbles sat on a shelf. Was it true? Did you not normally have casual sex like you did with him? And if so, why did it make him grip the edge of the mattress until the veins popped out of his hands. 

“You coming’? We share Econ next block,” You adjusted your blazer in the mirror. 

“Nah, I’ll just blow it off. You go,” he fell into the mattress with a squeak. You left with an ‘ok, just lock the door before you go.’ He felt something graze his fingers and inspected it. Your underwear. He brought it to his nose and inhaled. He stopped because he knew if he kept going he would be ready for another round, his body was already starting to have a mind of its own on the matter. Fans would throw their bras on the stage during his performances so what’s a little underwear theft between friends. A momento. He shoved it in his pocket and put on his shirt before realizing the much bigger problem at hand. If he has your underwear then you just left commando in that stupidly short skirt the school calls a uniform. He flew out of there with your cardigan, tying it around your waist would give a little more coverage. He could hope at the very least. 

[goldkirk]

Places I’ve successfully used my rollator so far

• some of the sidewalks, not all, and they’re usually not equal quality on both sides of the street if sidewalks even exist on a street at all

• Target (except the numbers inside the elevator don’t at all match the numbers of the floors in the shopping center? They’re off by like 3 in any direction? So that went wrong the first couple of times, and it wasn’t just me who hit the wrong floor lol). I was able to get everywhere but some areas were tight maneuvering and I caught my wheels on edges. Idk how people get through those spots on the borrow-able scooters that are wide and long

• QFC. No notes. Zero issues using the rollator there or in its parking lot. Thanks QFC

• the construction zone detour, which led through some spots with no curb cuts and also narrowed sidewalks in places due to fencing and equipment

• Barnes and Noble, which was fully accessible and had a surprisingly huge elevator (I assume for loading book carts and pallets from the shipment-receiving basement level or something)

• the creek walk outside the retirement community that’s wide and fully paved with even smooth concrete. Delightful except for that one guy who stared directly in my eyes for the whole seven seconds I walked into and out of his view from his living room (I assume?) window while I kept checking to see if he was in fact still staring me down. Like what do you think I’m doing that requires you to watch without even a break. Do you think I’m gonna rob you or something just because I’m doing something weird for my age dude

• the intersection by my apartment building. yeesh. Those crosswalks are bad on foot so it was an extra-rattle-y ride with the rollator (but less work thab crossing without it!)

Places I need to try using it still

• the Light Rail, I just am waiting till I need to use it to run an errand next

• the bus system, I already need to run an errand via it but I cannot for the life of me find an answer to what you’re supposed to do if you’re not specifically in a wheelchair but you’re using a wheeled device that’s bigger than a tiny wire mesh rolling shopping bin. So at this point I’m just hoping and praying for a minimally full bus when I do go and a bus driver who can tell me if I need to strap it in or fold it or just hold it or what. Like it’s not a wheelchair or a baby stroller. What are the rules. What is the expectation. I have searched websites and YouTube and Reddit and tumblr and I still haven’t found an answer 🥴.

• Eliott Bay Book Company. This place has internet sites saying it’s wheelchair accessible. I’m confused. I haven’t seen an elevator in it and there’s steps to get in and steps to get up to the second floor and the aisles seemed like some of the corners might be hard, and impossible when it’s crowded. I have doubts. I’d love to find a secret elevator or something but I can’t find the information anywhere on their actual website or Yelp or whatever, it just says “accessible” sooo?

• Parks. I need to figure out which parks are passable with a rollator and which trails or paths are too narrow for it.

• the library. I know it’s accessible already, so it should be simpler than many places. they’re still dealing with that ransomware attack though so I’m not using them frequently aside from though Libby rn

• Pike Place Market. Internet says it’s accessible. my personal experience says I’m willing to be surprised and I’ll be happy if I do see full accessibility. But also that I’ve had a hard time navigating that place when it’s not like, empty, just on two feet soooooo. I’m guessing it’s going to be very hit or miss despite there being some elevators just because of tight areas and weird floor changes and stuff. I do hope I’m pleasantly shocked though when I go!

• the craft store. any craft store. I need yarn and I haven’t been able to make my mind up about it so I need to just go in a store and physically experience the yarn skeins and choose. I don’t expect to have issues there but it might be an adventure in terms of bussing and walking over lol, we’ll see

[flyingspicerack]

Inside Job Pt2Ep3 Myc Analysis Pt1

ALRIGHT FUCKERS! AS THE OFFICAL CEO OF MYC ITS TIME i GIVE YOU MY BREAKDOWN ON EP 3 BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!!!

THIS IS GONNA BE A BIGGUN AND PRETTY MUCH A PLAY BY PLAY SO STRAP IN!!!

The way he's clinging to the rope here? Oh so cute. But also! Very telling of how he's able to distribute his weight? Body and tendrils seem much like.... idk squid/octopus like? Also in this scene, all of the insults he throws around <3 He's such a catty little bitch I also love that Gigi is the one he doesn't insult the most through the ep? Like I know everyone is like OMG ANDRE AND MYC are such good 'friends' and all that (yes i am one of those too) but we see in pt1 that Myc and Gigi hang out a fair bit and I like to think he's got like, a respect for her? Idk

The fucking way the little itty bitty orb inside his orb gets smaller when the flashlight from the security guard hits him is so brief but oh so important to me, oh my GOD this little bit of detail has me HGFUIEOHGFOI:SGHJIO

HHHHH OK FIRSTLY! Reagan tells Myc to, and I quote "Spurt on that guy!" And he refers to himself as a soft serve machine that needs to warm up and cannot just jizz on command, which definitely makes sense. He also says for no one to look at him so.... hes shy

SO THAT leads me to believe, that his jiss doesn't actually need to be processed at all to become the stuff they put in the memory erasing guns, so, they can just erase minds... SO what does that mean for sex with humans, as well as that one time Andre licked Myc's flagella on the yacht during the wedding, he didn't get erased.... thoughts thoughts thoughts

REAGAN YELLING AT HIM AND CALLING HIM A WASTE OF SPACE FUCKING HURT ME

OH MY GOD BABY! NO DONT CRY!!!!!!! UAOGH WHAT THE FUCK

Reagan: Okay I was not ready for that" ME NEITHER BITCH????? MYC CRYING????? WHY WOULD HE CRY????

WAS ANISE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING IN THAT MYC IS ACTUALLY A DWEEB???? UH YEAH?????? IM AS SURPRISED AS YALL ARE

god ok you guys im never gonna stop talking about this, we got so much mushroom lore, we have so much mushroom plot, we have so much MYC LORE AND I AM HERE FOR IT!!!!! AND IM WRITING IT ALL DOWN IN ONE PLACE!! RIGHT HERE!!!

Myc LIED about how old he was prior to this. In Pt1Ep3 we see his RightSwipe profile says 4041 for his age, but this here is his 5000 year reunion, so he's says he's younger than he really is.

He's from "A million year old mushroom hive cluster from the center of the earth" MILLION!!!!!! HES OLDER THAN WE CAN EVEN COMPREHEND

FIRST he apparently lied and said that everyone was jealous of his "huge dong" and he left, THEN JUST IN THIS SCENE, he says that they kicked him out because he was too much of a rebel, AND THEN AT THE END OF HIS RANT he finally comes clean and says that he never went to prom, graduation, AND no one signed his yearbook BECAUSE HE WAS A FUCKING DWEEB THAT LOOKED LIKE THIS:

(yeah honey i'd hate you too)

he was .... a fucking DWEEB! HE WAS A NERD!! THE BRACES?! THE PIMPLES! THE.... somehow.... FACIAL HAIR?? The hat.. yeesh boy ouch

WHEN HE LEFT HE WANTED TO PROVE HE COULD BE SOMEBODY! oH MY LORD!!!! HE CALLS HIMSELF A SINGLE MIDDLE AGED LOSER.... HOW OLD IS HE IF HES MIDDLE AGED IM GOING INSANE OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!

also his name, can we take about the name we have a real full name for him its not Magic Myc, its fucking MYC CELLIUM im going feral here and frothing

This uh.... this makes me..... hes so.... PATHETIC!! He's crying!!! HES FUCKING WHIMPERING AND CRYING AND SNIFLING CAUSE HES SO ASHAMED ABOUT GOING TO HIS REUNION LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HES LITERALLY BABYGIRL I DONT UNDERSTAND???????????????????

why are you so moe? WHY ARE YOU THE CUTEST GUY EVER! HIS GASP! Also like, Reagan, you REALLLY think this dude is never gonna insult you again? I thought you were a super genius? How can you literally be this stupid.

SORTA MUCUS SORTA JIZZ CALLED JUCUS!!!!!!!

I think it is SO AMAZING that the hole down to the mushroom hive is in Oregon, cause like, the worlds biggest mycelium network is under there.... hehe

FRUITY FLAILING ASS BITCH!!

OK If you go to 4:40 and look in the bg, you can see Myc get on the elevator down and he is fucking TREMBLING!! HE is SO nervous!! IM FUCK NGKJENSfewtgfwsg

Myc confirmed leftist, so thats a W but an L for thinking u can ge a nobel prize in podcasting... then again hes a mushroom and doesnt care so he is always a W in my heart

Look how far his flagella can stretch

HOLLOW EARTH! OH ITS SO LOVELY! AND I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT IT

I am very curious to know, if when Myc tells the hive to put a 'psychic metaphor' over the place, is that... only for the characters in the show or is it also for the viewer? It has to be, because we are also human and therefore wouldn't be able to comprehend the societal differences of mushroom dynamics! RIGHT?! SO I will also touch upon things as they happen later with this mindset.

FUCK!! RIGHT HERE!! Myc's asking Reagan if his BREATH smells bad!!!! He touches the top little frills and then puts his tentacle under Reagan's nose!! Does he... His scent glands?? WHAT?? AHHHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???

... I got one thing to say about stem-mantha... myc sure does love pink bitches .... makes eye contact with anise

LOOK AT HIM ALL.... NERVOUS!

Okay so then... Stem-Mantha asks if Myc was the guy who did puzzles with her parents so she could go have sex... SO, yes, the fucking mushrooms DO fuck each other, AND they have like, parents They dont just grow?? (As seen from Myc wanting to be a mommy in Pt2Ep7)

THEN Myc gets fucking pelted with a goddamn football and we are now included on the information that Myc ran out at graduation before everyone merged consciousnesses and became assimilated. SO It is OH SO interesting to see that each of these mushroom clusters are there OWN individual personalities but THEN they all are joined and have a shared consciousness thats a part of the hive!

Stem-Mantha then asks if the gang are Myc's parole officers, so does that mean that everyone was under the impression he went to like, jail topside after he left hollow earth??

HIS TENDRIL HEART IM FUCKING LOSING IT AHHHHHHH

ALRIGHT!!! FUCKERS FIRSt things first. Yes he wore that stupid fucking "NO FAT CHIX" hat but are we talking about it? NO, well YES, in that he wore it because he was in denail thats it thats the story thank you very much

SECONDLY here is were I'm touching upon the psychic metaphor thing again right here. I am thinking waaaay too deeply about a silly little cartoon and i feel very much like 'charlie pepe silvia meme' right now in idk how meta this whole thing is supposed to be? Like I don't think Myc was actually into dragon ball Z considering it was 5000 years ago and dbz didn't exist then, and we're just supposed to believe dudes was the mushroom equivalent of a little itty bitty pathetic nerd with pimples and acne, right??

but im also crazy coo coo bananas insane in thinkiing how fucking funny would it be if dbz was some kind of true space epic and myc is like, the equivalent of a greek mythology nerd in that hes a little fanboy.

THIRDLY. MY MANS GOT EXTRA STRONG POWERS THAT MAKE HIM EXTRA SENSITIVE?????? HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NURSE

His fucking signature babygirl i loooove you its so cute what the FUCK!! and look at how he carried himself like a fucking .... beanie babie, hes full of beans or whatever, i just love how this fucker carries his weight its so cool to look at wtf

HES NERVOUS AGAIN IM JUST GFJHEL"GSGJ"LG I KNOW ITS NOT IMPORTANT BUT IT IS TO ME

They are SO fucking mean to him. But also this scene, you can see that not everyone is on board with Reagan doing this, like they're all really uncomfortable when she pulls this picture up, and Brett isn't even there

Why is there so much jucus... was he tearing up about getting found out? OH LAWDY I HOPE NOT ILL FUCKING CRY?????

HAHHA SO this post has gotten waaay too long so i think i'm gonna make it two parts, so part 2 will be post assimilation!!! Also because posts can only have 30 images and we at the max babes

[ask-fgod]

Coming back from after he fell, Error was expecting a lot of things. He can't say he didn't expect this, but somehow it still makes him angrier than he's ever been.

hey guys... guess who just finished their one-shot instead of working on their other fic!!! it me. text under cut if you dont want to click on the link.

Error didn’t know what he was expecting when he landed back into his multiverse.

But it wasn’t this.

A figure resembling him stood over Ink, a hammer hovering above him. The only reason he hadn't struck yet was the fact that Dream was holding him back. None of them had realized his presence yet, minus…

Nightmare. Unlike the others, his gaze was solely focused on him. He wasn’t doing anything to stop the figure. 

That figure, though… Who…?

“E- Error…” Nightmare breaks him out of his thoughts, and with that, all attention is placed on him. Error holds his two children, Null and Void, closer, ready to defend them at any cost. 

He isn’t holding them close because of NIghtmare, of course, but he knows Dream and Ink would do everything in their power to take them away from him. Him being the “God of Destruction” and all, surely to them he can’t be safe.

But right now, he has to deal with the fact that all eyes are on him.

“Is that…” 

“WHAT THE SHIT???”

Dream loosens his grip, and the hammer bonks Ink on the skull, hard enough to make a crack drip ink from his skull.

“Owowowow… Yeesh Blue, did you have to hit me that hard?” Ink retorts.

Blue just hits him again in response.

“AGH! Error’s here now, so you can stop beating the absolute everything out of me! I’m gonna die if you keep this up!!!”

Blue shouts back. “Do you think that I care?! The whole point is to leave you dead!!! You made it to where I kind of have to kill you because little mister ink blot won’t stop overflowing this multiverse with his bullcrap!!!”

Oh…

Oh.

Error realizes what’s going on right at this moment. Who this person is, who their role is, it’s all obvious.

And it makes him very, very angry.

He knew Ink didn’t stop when he left. He knew that someone was forced to take his place because of that. But seeing it with his own eyes is something else.

In the millenia he has lived, never before has he been so fuming.

“Void, Null.” He tries to hide the anger in his voice, pointing at Nightmare. “Go to the goopy man over there. I have to do something real quick.”

‘But Roro…” Null shyly replies.

Error looks down at him, faking a smile on his face. “Don’t worry, He may seem scary, but he’s a really nice man. He’ll keep you safe, like I do.”

Both children run off to Nightmare, Null leading Void along the way. 

With that done, and the comfort that his kids will be in safe hands, he approaches Ink.

"You." He growls at Ink, inching closer by the second.

Ink looks from one side, to the other, and points at himself. "Me…?"

Error spreads his strings through the air, and tangles up him. In his surprise, Ink doesn't run away fast enough. "Yes, you! Do you have no respect for other people? Other life???"

"Y- Yeah! Of course I do! I create things, you're the one with no respect for others!!!" He shouts back.

"Then explain," Error gestures at Blueberror, "him!!!"

"I don't know what happened to him to make him that way! Honest!!!"

The strings tighten around Ink. "You must at least know that you are a part of the reason why that happened, shouldn't you? Or are you just going to lie about that too!!!"

"Error!!! Stop!" Dream shouts.

"Keep going!!!" Blue yells.

Error keeps going. "You didn't stop when I left, even though you knew that it'd doom this place! The only reason that this multiverse hasn't collapsed yet is because of Blue!!!"

Ink just stares at him like he's stupid. Like he's making stuff up. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"You have," Error shakes Ink in his grip, "every idea what I'm talking about! Just admit it!!!"

"I don't know what to admit to you, Roro! I dunno 'bout anything you're saying!"

"So who made him like that, then? He retorts. "What made it to where this place needed another thing like me???"

"Uh… Hm… Erm… I dunno! Maybe ya did somethin' to him! It'd make sense, since you always blame me for everything wrong that you do."

The world goes silent. Everyone, Dream, Nightmare, Blueberror, Void, Null, and Error… especially Error, just stare at Ink.

Error closes his eyes, and takes a breath in and out. 

Calm down. 

He isn't worth your time.

Calm down. 

How could he say that?

Calm down. 

Stop thinking about it.

Calm down. 

Why did he say that?

Calm down. 

He shouldn't snap.

Calm down.

But he's going to.

"Void, Null, look away. Plug your ears. Roro is about to do something he probably will regret later." Error commands.

Nightmare blocks both of the childrens' eyes, and the both of them put their hands over their ears. 

"Wh- Whatcha thinkin of doing, Error bud? I didn't say anything bad! I'm just- just layin' it to you straight! Roro c'mon!"

Error doesn't listen. It's like he doesn't even hear him. He slowly raises his hand, high up to the point of his face.

Blue and Nightmare watch. Dream stares in horror. 

And as Error balls his fist, the strings tighten around the other God, slowly cracking him apart. 

Bit by bit, til the tension is so high that the strings quickly tie up, breaking him into pieces. 

The ink from his body stains the ground, and for that moment, Ink is gone.

Error had just killed Ink.

And for him…

It was the first time ever.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S3Ep3

We start with a dude dramatically running away from war... EW. ARES. He just keeps getting uglier

Damn strong armour. Is the armour possessing the guy?

MEDAL OF HEPHESTEUS!?

Cheerful start really

Damn they wanna hurt some guy. Was that Gabby

YEEES XENA AND GABRIELLE

Gosh Xena and Gabrielle are so gorgeous

Is she gathering criminals for a mission XD

OHHH GORGEOUS.

"I am no lady" either way gender.

Xena introducing them

"Just men?" 😂 Gabrielle asking the good questions

Going up against Ares... Blergh. Ares can go choke on his own ego.

Oof, village laid waste

The armour looks so stupid honestly...

Rude!???

Love how Xena's SWORD broke but not Gabrielle's staff 😂

Oh fuck the pretty one was hit

Oh. METAL! Not medal... Yes that makes more sense (auditory processing issues hu)

Blacksmithing fancam

Hate that pretentious guy

CALLISTO SHOUTOUTTT <3

"Wow, nice ceps!" He is GAY. He is so down to suck Ares's dick...

BOOMERANG (Sokka is foaming at the mouth in jealousy)

"Cos I'm gonna kill her" no you won't. Shut up and suck Ares's dick you war simp

Gabrielle commanding them as she should.

Boo for them ignoring her.

"Murderers guarding murderers"

"Were they murderers before they met you?" OUCH

THEY WERE LIKE ME

AAAAAAH

"Am I really who I am, or am I what you made me?"

They're playing their funny guessing game again

Jesus can these murderers CHILL

Gabrielle looking, then going NOOOPE

Please these idiots are still standing there

Ahaha they're guarding each other cos none trusts the other to not kill them

RISE AND SHINEEE

"But what are you here for?"

SO VALID. STAB THAT GUY DEAD.

"You know what men are like" lesbian

Ahaha he just fell asleep

"But you're going to buy them"

Yuck, I wouldn't wanna be stuck with that guy either

"I think I've never been part of a true disaster before" "Cynic"

URGH the sexist prick can go die in a ditch

Ew what kinda straight sex shit is this

"Men are so easy" shdhshd

Gosh he's annoying.. Why r all the men in this annoying

NOOOO HE WANTED TO HURT GABRIELLE

And he grabbed Xena...

DID SHE KILL HIM-

Oop

"That's gotta be uncomfortable" 😂

GABRIELLE MY BABYGIRL

"Is this a private get together or can anyone join in?" Oh she knooows

She's happy they're working together

AHAHA She sensed Ares

Why is Ares' beard so fucking UGLYYYY. Like it literally got worse

Ares you snitch. Why are you telling her. Bro as if THAT isn't also interfering?? 😂

Uhhhh... Whomst?

Damn they throw bombs

Gabrielle ur so amazing

Xena I love you sm

Damn. She's defyyying gravity

Mmmmm, dudebro sexist is sus af

Urgh... They tricked her...

GABBY

YUCK. DISGUSTING. I hope she gets to murder him

I love Gabby

HOLY SHIT. HER SHOVING THE OTHER WOMAN AGAINST THE WALL (Gabrielle 🤝 Jenny)

Glaphyra?

Yeah true but y'know, a bit too many men for my liking, and a whole bunch of others stand around doing nothing about it

They really just want money, hu

Is he gonna free them

Ayoooo double double crossing

Ahsdhsh she used the Doctor strategy. Get captured cos breaking out the cell is easier than breaking into the whole thing

EW. ASSAULT. DISGUSTING. Someone give her a wife

"Hey that's not how a princess fights" gosh get some perspective, man

"Amazon Princess" YOU TELL HIM

OH FUCK. GABRIELLE IS JUST SEEING XENA MURDER WITHOUT RESTRAINT

Something something the old Xena showing for a moment

"Why does everyone wanna kill me?" Honestly it's very understandable

"I'm not leaving!" "Like she said"

Ares is like lmao bye have fun dying, loser

All the steaaaam, brilliant. Gotta be pretty hot in there

YEESH That gotta hurt

Kabooooom

"Look after Xena, okay?" awwwww

"I'd sooner fall for a toad" valid

THEY'RE SO GAAAY

"You're Gabrielle" AAAAAH ❤️

"Question is who would I be without you?"

Ahaha them bickering

Ok so as a whole the episode was very, very meh. I liked the Xena/Gabrielle moments tho

[stringsnwires]

were you born while your father was working at mann co?

Nah, Mother was pregnant before my dad went off to work. He took after my grandad after the guy worked himself to death. I wanna say he got to workin' just before he hit 35. I remember havin' Daddy around frequently for the my first few years, so I wanna say they probably had me around his early 28-30. Yeesh... I really missed my slot, huh?

Anyway, yeah, he was workin' on BLU right after I remember buildin' tents with him outta PVC pipes n tarps at prolly 5ish. I just know I grew up with that influence, but still had plenty of time with him.

[zenmom]

This scenario is based off the Draw Your Squad that angelle and Sunny brought up. And as usual, Donald is the victim….. with a dark twist😟

Also I made this without the ipencil (I don’t feel like refining this one) while I was waiting for my brother to bring me the ipencil. Well I didn’t expect myself to explain the gruesome details that the cold Thinner Queen has done. Yeesh…. I don’t know how you guys will feel about it. I’ll try and redo it if it’s too much.

So the gang met Thinner queen and GOOD GRIEF she is very cold! Ice cold I tell you! She insulted everyone here (she made sure the insults hit them right in the heart) and then Mickey challenged her to a game. She accepted it and sets down this game. Donald was being too confident with this because it’s the only game with no luck involved, only skill and logic. Anyways Thinner won and now she prepares to take Donald out. Everyone’s reaction is of extreme alarm. Sunny didn’t think her friend (yes, she thinks Thin’s her friend and wouldn’t hurt her or her friends but unfortunately they’re on big boss’s bounty list) would hurt Donald. Oswald couldn’t afford to lose another friend after they lost Zen. (how she left this world, I’m making a comic about that soon👀) Teri didn’t think Thinner would willingly do it, and better than her. Goofy cannot believe that Donald lost at this game for the 5th time (they’ve played many times with this game before Thinner Queen) Mickey could not really act out in shock. And Donald… oh no…

Donald cannot believe that his life is going to end.

[cherrythepuppet]

The Sewers

TW: Killing, general violence, gun violence, explosions

Dante, Rigel and Cen: ZeddyZi

Gram: Me

Dante hops over a barricade carrying Gram but the two reach the broken end of the bridge; a cliff “Oh shit” “Oh fuck!” Dante set Gram down to leaned up against an an old stop sign “How many bullets do you have left?!” Dante asked

“They're gonna kill us!” Gram exclaimed “What other choice do we have?!” Dante replied as Gram points over the bridge “We jump” He said “No, it's too high and you can't swim. I'll boost you up; you run past 'em” Dante told him

The Humvee hits one of the trucks on the bridge, causing one of the cars to fall over the edge “You'll keep me afloat-” “Gram” “No time to argue” “Gram!” Gram jumps off the bridge and Dante quickly jumps after him

Both submerge in the water and the current overpowers Dante and Gram “Dante!” Gram coughed as Dante swam towards Gram and grabbed ahold of him “I got you!” Dante shouted but pauses upon seeing anincoming rock “No- no, no, no!”

Dante wraps himself around Gram and is slammed into a rock which causes him to get knocked out…

-

Dante regaining consciousness, lying on a sandy beach where Gram and Cen are standing over him as Rigel is a short distance from them, holding his pistol “Rigel! He's awake!” Cen called out

“Hey, you. We're alive. Okay” Gram helped Dante up and Dante made sure Gram was okay before looking over at Rigel and Cen “See? What'd I tell you, huh? He's good. Everything's fine. You know, Cen's the one who spotted you” Rigel said

“You guy's had taken quite a bit of water, when-” Dante pushes Rigel to the floor, taking out his gun “What the fuck's wrong with you!?” Rigel yelled “Rigel!” Cen exclaimed but Dante points the gun at him

“Get back, son!” Dante demanded “It's fine- HEY, hey, hey, hey…” Dante points the gun at Rigel “He's pissed, but he's not going to do anything” Rigel replied “You sure about that?” Dante scoffed

Gram froze then put a hand on Dante’s shoulder “Dante” “He left us to die out there!”

“No. You had a good chance of making it, and you did. But coming back for you meant putting Cen at risk” Rigel told them “If it was the other way around, would you have come back for us? I saved you” He added

“He saved me too” Gram mumbled “We woulda' drowned” He said as Hesitantly, Dante put the gun away while Cen kneels at Rigel's side and watches Dante turns to Gram with a slight glare

“Now that radio tower is on the other side of this cliff. Okay? Place is gonna be full of supplies. You're gonna be really happy you didn't kill me” Rigel chuckled getting up and strechting “Um, do you trust him?” Cen asked

“Yeah, I do. Hey, don't worry about it. We're fine now, okay?” Rigel replied “You gotta believe me on this, Cen, all right?” Rigel said and Cen sighed while Gram played in the sand “Gram, Stop that” Dante muttered

As Gram played in the sand, Rigel and Cen climbed up in the side of the cliff finding a large sewer gate “Hey, Gram. I think we found something!” Cen called out “C’mon” Dante mumbled pulling Gram up

Dante and Gram go over to the two boys “Hey, I bet this goes all the way through” Rigel muttered “Alright move…” Dante said and everyone backed up allowing Dante to open the grate open “All right, c'mon, kids, go” He added

Rigel follows Gram and Cen inside then they all hold the grate open so Dante can climb in too. Dante then carefully closes it after climbing inside “Fhaslights out” Rigel replied and the four split up going onto different sides of the sewer

Dante finds a blooked fence gate area and a loose vent cap “If you can get it open, I can crawl through and clear that door” Gram suggested while Dante pries the vent cap off, letting a rat scurry out into the water “Oh, yeesh. That is a big rat” Gram climbs inside and proceeds to the other side of the door “And… voila”

Gram opens the door and Dante scavenges supplies within “Do you think they'll join us all the way to Sora and Stone’s?” Gram asked “Well, I don't know. We're just gonna have to see how everything pans out” Dante shrugged

“This way. Yeah, looks like there's a path up ahead. Right here” Rigel called out and the two make their way over and regroup where they reach a flooded cistern “Can we get out this way?” Cen questioned

“Nah, there's no way to reach that” Rigel replied “Well, I can't swim” Cen sighed “That makes two of us” Gram frowned as Rigel heads over to a turning wheel for a big gate and tries too open it but the gate was jammed

Dante jumps into the water and dives underneath to unclog the sluice then He then returns to the surface “Rigel, give it a shot!” He exclaimed as Rigel turns the wheel agian and the gate opens, Dante swims under the gate and looks around finding a wooden pallet

“Oh- this thing again” Gram groaned slightly before carefully getting onto the pallet and having Dante push him to the other side “Ahh, I can't wait to get outta this place…” Gram grumbled “Rigel, cant you swim?” Dante asked “Kinda” Rigel shrugged “I can keep myself afloat” He added

“Better than nothin’ Get over here, Ill help Cen” Dante replied swimming the pallet back over to them and Cen got onto the pallet, Once all of them were on the other side, Gram helped Dante onto the ledge

“Huh. I can't believe that actually worked…” Cen mumbled “Yeah, don't jinx us” Rigel chuckled before The group come to a door with childish drawings by the door “Uh… what's up with this?” Gram asked

“You think there's people inside?” Cen added and Dante grabbed a stick pushing the door open slightly causing a trap that drops glass bottles “It's a sound trap” He said “It's a sort of alarm” He explained

The four go into the room and look around as They reach a corner with a soccer net drawn on the wall “Cen, stand by those posts over there” Gram chuckled picking up a nearby soccer ball from a under a bench

“Ready?” Gram asked and Cen nodded then Gram kicks the ball which Cen catches it with both hands “I caught it!” Cen exclaimed rolling the ball back to the corner “Dude, sick!” Gram laughed while The group press onwards to a gate

Then they all pause “You hear that? Infected” Rigel said as The group open and pass through the gate where several runners and clickers charge at them from the next room “There's three more heading our way!”

Gram pulled out his pistol and shot the runners that got to close while Dante shot the ones futhur away, They all were silent when they were gone and continued going ahead looking around when suddenly Dante pushes open a door with drops another sound trap in front of him

Straight after, a large bang above it heard. Dante looks up to see a large metal barrier descend from above “Oh shit. Get back!” “What?” The barrier lands, splitting the group up. Dante is with Cen while Rigel and Gram are left together

“That was me. I must've triggered some sort of safety gate or somethin'. Rigel, see if we can lift this” Dante sighed trying to push the thing open with Rigel “So… this is awkward” Gram chuckled

“Yeah, I know. It's like every time-” Cen was cut off by Gram shouting “Clickers!” “Hey, this thing isn't budging, man!” Rigel exclaimed “Just go, get outta here!” Dante replied and Rigel nodded dragging Gram away from all the infected on their side

Dante and Cen watch as Gram and Rigel free from a pack of clickers, Dante walks forward to encounter several stalkers and clickers and With some assistance from Cen, Dante kills the infected

“We're gonna keep going. You good?” Dante asked “Yeah. I bet there were a lot of them here. People, I mean” Cen mumbled “Looks like it” They venture further into the compound where Dante notices a ladder on a ledge ahead

“You think you can knock that ladder down?” He asked and Cen nodded, Dante boosted Cen up and Cen pushed down the ladder allowing Dante to climb up “Good job, kid” Dante said “Fucking thing!” A voice shouted in the distance

“Is that Gram?” Cen asked turning and quickly going into the direction of the voice as Dante followed jumping down below into another section while Gunshots sound in the distance, Gram and Rigel race around the corner then A horde of infected soon follows

“Doorway- over there! Cen!” “Run! There's too many of 'em!” They flee into a new room, Dante forcing the door shut once through and The infected pound against it “Gram! Get away from the door!” Dante demanded

Rigel and Dante start trying to open a blocked door pushing on it before Cen crawls through a duct “Cen! He just crawled through!” Gram shouted “He what? Cen, what the hell are you doin'?” Rigel exclaimed

“Getting us outta here!” Cen replied unblocking the door and opening it for them then blocking it again, The group run upstairs to the higher levels, reaching a disused maintenance office where an emergency exit door outside is

The group reach the door but Rigel is unable to open it “Damn thing's stuck!” He groaned “Gimme a boost! I can get through that window” Gram said then Rigel nodded boosting Gram over through the window

Dante placed a nailbomb at the entrance while Gram focused on the door soon getting it unblocked and opening it “All right, move! Let's go, let's go!” The other three quickly slip outside and barricade the door again

“Fresh air…” Rigel sighed out of relief while notices a graffiti warning on the exterior, warning of infected inside “Wha- Look at this” He scoffed “Oh, are you fucking kidding me? Thanks for the warning on the other side, guys” Gram groaned…

Prev / Next

[nutzworth]

DAY 5: JANUARY 31, 2024 (i got to start reading more consistently.)

STATS: read for ~3 hrs pages read: 1052-1359. 307 pgs. act 4! slur count: 8 + 1 = 9 (john r slur on 1 of his defaced posters) silly count: 11 + 0 = 11 (i might have missed some. to be honest) piss count: 1/3

THOUGHTS: today started with john's alchemizing spree! i really like the alchemy even though i can NOT understand how the binary and codes quite work. john does though. johns really smart about alchemy in sburb specifically. this section also has a lot of funny john faces. i love this guy

FINALLY the end of dave and bros strife! jesus! been 2 sessions sicne it started! i said this last time but i think its SO INTERESTING how bro doesnt cut or stab dave in any way during the strife. they clash and lil cal gets torn up and daves sword gets 1/2ed and daves SYMBOL gets scratched but when hussie shows dave after the fight hes winded and bruised and battered but hes NOTABLY NOT BLOODY! obviously being bruised cus youre FIGHTING! WITH YOUR DAD! is bad and your dad (bro) is a criminal but. man. how much restraint was bro USING. to be SO PRECISE! did he have to choose between slashing dave and slashing cal in that split second? why else would he possibly have slashed cal? for paradox reasons? i really like dirk strider

the unofficial homestuck collection website is bugging out SO BAD for me. for so many flashes today the music just did not play. it SUCKS! but its fine i just play the music in another tab. i hope they fix that but i know its not priority

i really like the few dave logs i read today. dave is sooooo sad puppy on the other side of a cracked door that sees you and wants to get in the room but cant figure out how to push open the door so he just whines. "hello" "what are you doing" "man where are you" "are you there" he is so cute. in contrast the other dave log today was DAVE AND TAVROS!!!! HOORAY FOR TAVROS! and dave in this one is really funny hes so nonchalant and like "no man. if you want to have sex with a 13 yr old boy okay dude. im on board. time and place." and tavros is like UM! NO! IM GOOD! HAHA! }:) ! they are so funny. the striders are SO internet troll. dave does it flawlessly

KANAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE KANAYA! SHES MY FAVORITE TROLL! shes so awesome in the kanaya/rose log she is so funny. start talking to this girl like "humans cant understand time travel when its really so simple youre all kind of dumb" and ending with "hey we should be friends". i literally love her

EXILES! not much happened with the exiles. introduced to aimless renegade. what a cop. pa harley heart! thanks for your guns pa!

THE FLASH WHEN ROSE ENTERS THE GAME IS SO COOOOOL!!!!!!!!! i really really like it unfortunately the sound didnt work so all the beats didnt hit quite right but they hit ENOUGH. SO COOL! I LOVE ROSE!!!! theres so much going on all the time for that girl. i love you rose

INTERMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really like the intermission i think its so fun trying to parse what the hell is happening. i have GOT to read problem sleuth because so many of the things i find funny are straight up just problem sleuth bits

hussie averting the readers expectations with the like You have a deck of cards. ==> play solitaire With what cards? Dumbass? Fuck off. You only have your WAR CHEST. i think this is hussie like softdropping his rivalry with his audience. it starts with silly banter and then hes like im going to make a character representing the fandom and im going to kill her off (calliope)

the felt are SO COOL! if anyone knows all the pun names for them lmk. i only know a few obvious ones.

the intermission is SO gory. theres so much blood and death and guns and knives. like ok dude i get youre in mafia gangs or whatever but cool it on the blood and yucky faces! yeesh! there is also more crude jokes in it than normal i think. maybe cus these are real adults with pornography in their briefcases than like 13 yr olds. "jack king off" "you beat it(your heart) pretty often" "fist full of penis" etc

you kjnow what drives me crazy. the ACTUAL REAL TIMELINE of the intermission. or at least what it means for the rest of the comic. obviously the intermission is foreshadowing (esp when slick gets his eye and arm cut off; mentioning lord english; etc) but like. its MORE. when i first read homestuck i was under the impression that the intermission was just some other timeline in some universe. granted i dont remember slicks eye and arm getting nixed or karkat vantas reveal or lord english mention or anything that foreshadows anything. but NO! its NOT some other timeline! but it IS another universe. its ALTERNIA!!!!!!!!!!!

the story of jack noir (spades slick) as i know it is as follows: jack noir spawns in derse ==> commits a crime (probably shittalking the queen) ==> gets exiled to... um. somewhere. ==> i assume he meets karkat here? and stabs him. and karkats blood is revealed and then theyre friends ==> slick (now scurrilous straggler) is left on the green moon? exiled in rags ==> he builds a city ==> the felt's mansion is there also. they form gangs and become rivals ==> intermission starts; midnight crew infiltrates lord english's lair to get the vault prizes ==> slick goes in the vault and begins commanding karkat. if im wrong about any of this correct me im so curious

i really like clubs deuce and diamonds droog. i wish crowbar was in the intermission more. clover is just like nagito komaeda. trace and fin are insaaaane. i wish i knew more about the felt

ACT 4! GAME!!!!! game on lowas. its really cool i didnt get to play it my first readthrough. love the salamanders and love the captchalogue nonsense. it is so fun. thats all for today folks

[tyo-mimt]

1/36. @tmnt-event-blog

Everyone gets sick. Including Raph.

"Thanks for fetching the meds for us, Raph."

"Ohh, you got takeout for us, too?"

Hmm, what time was it?

"Aww, should've let me tag along. I bounced back fast~!"

"You were the one who got us sick in the first place, Nardo."

Only six? Man, Raph needed to get more sleep.

Leo put on a veneer of faux hurt, his hand to his plastron, "Oh, how you wound me, Don Ton. Alas, I never asked you to help."

"Scoff, if we didn't help, you'd whine about us not nursing you back to health."

Were their voice getting more fuzzy or was it just him?

"Excuse you! I am perfectly capable of being independent, even if I'm horribly sick."

"Okay, anyone who's still sick, go back to bed," Raph groaned.

"I'm surprised you haven't gotten sick."

"I'm Raph, and Raph doesn't get sick when his brothers need him."

Leo inched to Donnie's side, voice intentionally loud enough for everyone (including Raph) to hear, "Two pizza slices says he'll flop over and pass out when he leaves."

"I heard that."

"What? That's what happened to everyone else!" Leo raised his hands in defense.

"Well, unlike everyone else, Raph's responsible for all of you. No one's dying on my watch!"

"Raph, chillax! It's just the common cold."

"Yes, the common cold... On superpowered mutant turtles with a vastly different immune system from humans."

"Yeah, what Mikey said, it's still just a common cold," Raph affirmed, arms crossed; he ignored the growing nausea from the sudden motion, "And Raph won't rest until all of you are back in tip-top shape!"

"All right, whatever you say, big brother," Leo grinned, hopping up from where he sat on the bed to give Raph a pat on the shoulder, "I'll get us all some water."

"No, you stay here; Raph's got it!"

As he stood, a sudden burst of vertigo struck him. He wobbled a little, failing to steady himself on his feet. His head hit the ground, much faster than he's used to.

There was darkness...

Then...

"Raph."

No. Sleep.

"Raph."

Weird, he was feeling a little hot.

"Raphie!"

Why was breathing so hard?

"Raph-a-doodle!"

The next person calling him is getting decked.

"Bossman!"

He punched upward only for his fist to flail in the air.

"Hey! As if your sick butt's coordinated enough to find my face," Leo's voice was even more disorienting when muffled, "No more faking sleep, up-up: it's soup time."

"Yeesh, this is the last time we're letting you take care of us when we get sick," Leo sighed, "Come on, big guy."

Brearily blinking the drowsiness out of his eyes, Raph sat up.

Oh, no, that was too fast.

Leaning back on the palm of his hand, he steadied himself before focusing on his limited, blurry vision. On his left, he made out a silhouette; a lighter shade of green, blue mask, red and yellowish stripes, holding a red half-circle. Oh, Leo holding soup. He could suddenly recall what happened before.

When he balanced himself enough to hold himself upright, Raph took the bowl of soup from Leo's hand, feeling the same limb reach out and pat him on the shoulder. "There we go, you feeling better?"

It tasted bland, a far cry from the soup he was used to Mikey making. The snapping turtle put the bowl down, finding it difficult to form his words through a sore throat; it's a miracle he managed to murmur some semblance of a "yes". Maybe that was enough.

Leo sighed in relief, taking the empty bowl. "All right-y, back to bed. Try not to punch Donnie when it's his turn to give you Mikey's soup."

The snapping turtle nodded, grunting a quiet affirmation, drowsiness flooding his mind once again. As he heard the sound of footsteps leaving his room, Raph let a grateful smile carry him through his rest.

[invisibleraven]

Oooh, scooby doo au with the combo of your choice!

Luke grinned as the Phantom-Mobile pulled up in front of the abandoned looking club. "Alright gang, we've got to see if we can find this ghost that is driving away all of nice Mr. Covington's customers."

"If you ask me," Alex said, as he triple checked their supplies, "Mr. Covington did not seem all that nice."

"Nu-uh," chorused Willie. "Totally not nice."

"It's like chill man," Reggie said, tossing a few more snacks into Alex's bag when he wasn't looking. "We don't have to like the dude to help him out or accept his money."

"Reggie's right," Julie said with a nod. "We get in, we find out what's really happening, we get out, we get paid-"

"We fund our demo!" Luke finished. "Let's go Phantoms!"

Look, it wasn't their fault that Mr. Covington thought their band was a group of exorcist's, given their name, but money was money when gigs had dried up and jobs were slow. None of them really believed in ghosts, so they figured it was just some disgruntled employee out to stop the business in it's tracks.

They crept into the club, which was dark, and hitting the light switch did little to illuminate the situation, given the bulbs had gone dead for the most part. "Yeesh, I thought this place was supposed to be swanky," Alex said with a whistle as he lifted a streak of dust with his finger.

"I suppose cleaning isn't high on your priority list when you've got a poltergeist," Julie said with a shrug.

"A whater-geist?" Willie asked.

"Ghost man, keep up," Reggie replied. "Gestalt entity, spectre, spirit. I know all the lingo."

"You hang out with Carlos too much," Julie said with a fond eye roll.

"Not my fault the little dude looks up to me!" Reggie repled.

"And we all love that he does but I think you guys bickering has effectively scared everything but the spiders away!" Luke hissed. "Trying to get paid remember?"

Then they saw it-a white figure off in the distance. The creak and groan of stairs, a moan, a rattle of chains.

"Can we like, make like a tree and leave?" Reggie asked.

"Shush dude," Alex cautioned. "It's probably more afraid of you than you are of it."

"I thought there was no such thing as ghosts," Julie said, a tremble of fear in her voice.

"That's witches," Willie replied.

"So we're not going with witch," Luke nodded resolutely. He nodded towards the figure. "Let's gp."

"Are you crazy?" Alex whispered. "We're not equipped to deal with an actual phantom!"

"It's probably some homeless guy squatting here who's trying to stake his claim," Luke replied.

"I say we let squatter's rights stand then," Reggie said. "We all know how tough it is to sleep rough."

"We don't get paid that way, unfortunately," Julie said, reaching out to squeeze his hand, then nodded to Luke.

"Alright boss, let's go." LUke crept closer, and then tackled the spirit. Only he went through the image, almost landing on the projector that was displaying the image.

"Ha, told you there was nothing to be scared of!" Alex crowed.

"Now we have to find out who turned it on," Willie replied, the rest of them gulping rather audibly.

The rest of their trek was a rather twisty turny maze, including a corridor of rooms that all seemed to lead back to one another, until finally they found a dark figure in the control booth.

Willie and Reggie circled him in rope, while Alex called the cops and Julie looked around to turn off any more projectors and on the lights.

Luke approached the figure, who was wearing a large rubber mask. "Now let's see who's really behind this whole thing." He pulled off the mask to reveal...

"Mr. Covington?" the group chorused.

"I almost had this place as a tax write off you fools!" he scowled. "You weren't supposed to actually come, just take the money. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

"Well, crime doesn't pay," Luke replied. "But we will be sending you our bill."

Everyone rolled their eyes at that, and laughed. Well, everyone except Mr. Covington that it, who just groaned. But no one could blame him-it was a truly awful joke. Thanks goodness that wasn't Luke's forte.

But hey, maybe if this music thing didn't work out, they could actually go into ghost hunting?