#YAAAY THOSE GUYS

[hideousvampire]

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

[cathalbravecog]

my first daily roller (and friends!) before april first ! who knows where hr waits before april anyway?

not guaranteed daily. originally intended for my main, but i do have a toontown blog for a reason so i'll use it. training myself to be okay with shittier art that just gets the point across without the need to be perfect as well. also this is an actual sc i took going into the farlands before my minecraft fucking bricked itself by being there

[namelessprince]

MY BEAUTIFUL RIPTIDE OCS... their names are catalina and milo avery <3 catalina's a water genasi, and milo's a tiefling :] !!

[c10v3r]

refs for my gijinkas cuz like i wanna put them on my art fight profile 🫡

theyre like my ocs atp so it counts !!!!!!!

[ranvwoop]

I've been listening to a lot of music lately, clearly, which is an original thought nobody's ever had

[oughhowo]

LOOK AT MY GELFLING BOY

finally finished the head so now u guys can see it :)

been working on a gelfling for the past few weeks, hes a dousan gelfling inspired by Dune (started reading the books & theyre good fun lol)

his bigass braids temporary itll come out when im done building the rest of him lol

[mattsjuul]

GRAVITY. chris sturniolo

༣ summary: chris is on tour and misses his girlfriend .ᐟ ♡

༣ pairing: clingy!reader & tour!chris

༣ warnings: suggestive, just a cute lil oneshot tbh, pet names ( i think only one tho ), long distance ???? idk

༣ authors note ♡: ok i rlly didnt know what to do for this tbh i js wanted to write for chris lol!!!! this MIIIGHT get a pt 2 tho. so twoshot!

you stand in your kitchen, your mind constantly filled with thoughts of your boyfriend while he's off on tour. is he sleeping? maybe he's eating something. i hope he's enjoying it. is he gonna call me? isnt he in new york? thats three hours ahead. three whole hours. so if its six pm here then its... seven... eight.. nine. nine pm there? so is he asleep? i dont know if tour's got him sleepy. gosh. can he call me? i bet he looks so good right now. fuck. then your thoughts are interrupted by a very specific text tone. it's chris! "Hey" "R u busy imy" you read, causing you to almost start jumping for joy in front of your open fridge. although you do a little squeal instead. "definitely not" "call me im begging" you reply. "I like that" he replies, making you giggle to yourself. seconds later, your screen lights up with a picture of chris with a big smile holding your dear friend, madison, 's cat.

"well hellloooo" you answer with a smile far too big. "hey sexy" he smiles back just as much. "i've been waiting for this call" you admit. "yeah? you been thinking about me?" he asks in a cocky tone. but it was lowkey doing things to you. well. highkey. "you'd like that wouldnt you?" you ask. "yeah." he proudly says. "i was actually about to rub one out since im alone. show me your tits" he jokes. "don't tempt me" you giggle. "i mean.. you're free to do whatever you want. you're an adult with free will in your own home" he babbles on. you take a deep breath, honestly debating it. why not? he's seen them pleennttyy of times. more so, touched them plenty of times.

"ya' know." he interrupts your debating. "i've had lots of time to think. especially to think about you. and ya' know, we're never really apart for longer then a week. and it's made me realize that you really hold me down. i feel like i need at least one night with you every week to function. not like night.. i mean one sleep. i feel like it's made me sleep not so well. is that crazy? i'm not making sense. but then also, it'll be like 10 am here and i'll argue with nick or matt and i cant run to you. you'd be asleep and i dont want you to be upset the moment you wake up. i hate this seperation. i hate making you wait.. like what if you stop liking me before i get back. fuck. you're not hanging out with that actor guy you like, right?" he goes ooonnn n on. well boobs wouldnt be too appropriate right now. "okay.. no" you reply for starters. "and i dont think it's crazy. i get it. but you're veeeryyy cute for thinking all this. i love you chris. i miss you so much." i say. "i love you. can i see your boobs?" he asks, a giggle escaping your lips at his very stupid words.

yet you lift your top up, getting a shocked look from chris. "oh.. i like those.. a lot." he says, a big smile on your face as you shake 'em a little. "just.. stay there for a second" he says, seeing him moving around, clearly pulling his sweats down. "join me, yeah?"

a/n: ohhhhh em geeee.... idk if i like this tbh lol. but lmk if u want a part two w phone sex hehe. im sorry its so so short sad face.. i actually rlly liked writing this tho idk. yaaay hope u like :') ♡ lmk if there r any mistakes pls i didnt proof read!!!!!! (im in class..) ��‍❄️

[solarmorrigan]

In honor of the approaching summer, have this Incredibly Silly A Goofy Movie AU that I tormented my poor friend in the chat with. It's been sitting in my drafts for months

-

So, like. Eddie fails senior year. And is dealing drugs, probably, because they need the money, but not a lot of people want to hire him. The school administration can't prove that he's dealing, but they do know he's failing, and the principal still calls Wayne all "Your son nephew is a delinquent and is going to end up in jail just like his dad" and Wayne's like. Well, we can't have that. And he's got a lot of time saved up at the plant, he's been there for years, he's a loyal employee, so he decides that they can take the hit and he'll take some time off and HE AND EDDIE ARE GOING FISHING

And Eddie's like, great, that's great, glad you want to bond, BUT. No can do. Because (and this part he does not tell Wayne), he finally got Steve to agree to go on a date with him (and by "finally got him to agree" I mean "he finally fucking asked," because it's not like Steve would've said no - at least not since going from being kind of a popular idiot to a much more down-to-earth guy in the last year or so). And he can't miss that. But Wayne is adamant. So Eddie's finally like, I promised my friend Steve that I'd spend time with him this summer. And Wayne's like, he can spend time with his family this summer. And Eddie tells him, no, actually, he can't, because his parents are dicks and are going to be gone all summer. And he'll be alone 🥺 ALL ALONE, WAYNE. THE WHOLE SUMMER

And, like, Wayne's not thrilled, but this is one of those soft, caring little pieces of Eddie he's been worried about losing so he's like, "Okay, invite your friend Steve along, then." And Eddie's brain does the record scratch thing, because this was not what he was angling for. He would not be OPPOSED to going on a road trip with Steve, but not one chaperoned by his uncle?? But now he's penned in. He can't back out or Wayne will suspect something is up. So he goes and talks to Steve, saying that Wayne sprung this trip on him, he doesn't want to miss their date, but Wayne said Steve could come along, yaaay...? Except he assumes a (formerly) Cool, (currently) Rich guy like Steve won't want to go on just a fishing trip, so he spins up some story about how they're actually going to some big concert (which actually happens to be taking place very near to their actual fishing destination). Eddie knows this is An Incredibly Stupid Idea, but he thinks maybe he can swing it. Also the words kinda came out before he could really think about them

Of course, he didn't need to lie to Steve because a) Steve would probably follow him anywhere anyway at this point, and b) the boy would be fucking thrilled to go on a family bonding road trip. He would eat that shit up. He's never been fishing before. It sounds kind of terrible, but in a good way

So now Eddie's in a pickle, but it all works out. Bonding shenanigans and brief romantic moments that are accidentally crashed by Wayne and some actual fishing and they also get to see the concert and they all end up closer for the trip etc. etc.

[uinatic]

"Those" problems - Minicomic part 2/2

Yaaay minicomic completed~

You guys may have noticed by now that i like to draw cute things, and big men 😳

[rebouks]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉

I ignored the brief and just did a fun round up of some fave screenies/posts from this year cos apparently i can't read and rules are LAME anyway!! weeee 🤸‍♀️🧡

January - Oscar scared the shit out of baby Levi and we finally found out where Triss had been hiding 🥹

February - Robin met his bestie Alex on a camping trip and had enough of Levi's bullshit upon returning to school ffkfgjfk

March - Kian got out of prison (ew) and decided to inconvenience his unsuspecting half-brother.. who didn't last long before telling him to shove it.

April - Oscar pissed Ivan off on a road trip of doom and Joey is still Joey..

OH.. and Triss is hot af (no literally.. he's at the beach but also 🥵) also also.. him n' Tilda finally bumped uglies and were very cute

May - Robin saved Levi from a soggy fate and spoke to him for the first time and the Finch's pretty much adopted him, whether he liked it at the time or not!

June - I clearly took a break I forgot about in June so.. random edits woo 🤸‍♀️

July - Oscar reminded us that addiction never truly goes away... (i think if i had to pick my fave post of the year this would be a top contender!)

August - The Finch family kidnapped Levi and went camping! 🤸‍♀️🌲 (MR CROWBAR WAS THERE TOO!)

September - School was shit and Levi betrayed Robin's trust :c

October - Things got tense and spooky in Robin's Until Dawn flavoured dream 😱 (probs the highlight of the year in an otherwise shite month for me tbh so yaaay for you guys for making it so fun! 🧡)

November - Alex moved to the Bay!!! in contrast we also spent a few miserable days with Levi and Wren was her savage self and called Penny Budget Barbie which.. was iconic tbh go ginger queen go! 🧡

December - Robin was sick of Levi's stupid "friends" picking on Alex and let loose his inner Oscar, speaking in front of Alex for the first time (rip Aster for missing it tbh like what a time to take a whizz) buuut.. Robin still broke first and decided to stop snubbing Levi cos he felt bad for him ;-;

tyyyy for the tag @zosa95 @hannahssimblr @sirianasims @simvanie @theplottdump 🤸‍♀️ i'm tagging everyone cos i think we should all look back on our work with a tear in our eye and a slap on the back, srsly go do it and blame me pls ty

what a year! i've spent most of this year feeling a bit overwhelmed and like i've not been getting anywhere/as far as i wanted to ffkfj but looking back i suppose it was pretty jam packed so maybe i should give myself a break (ahaaaajsdkj NEVER) anyway.. good times 🤸‍♀️ i've no idea what 2025 will have in store for me tbh but long live the Finch's i guess! 🧡

thank you to anyone who's been around with me this year, and those past! love you all 😘

[hunieday]

Osaka Sougo - Drama Collection vol.2 Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Osaka Sougo: Thank you for your hard work, Momo-san. And thank you so much for going out of your way to host a delicious catering lunch for us today despite your busy schedule.

Osaka Sougo: Thanks to you, I was able to focus even more during the shoot. I am once again very grateful. I will continue to do my best not to hold anyone back, so I look forward to your continued support.

Momo: Sougo~~ 😆🫶🫶 Thanks for the lovely rabbichat!!!!

Osaka Sougo: It’s nothing at all! You found it lovely…!?

Momo: It’s so Sougo-like that I could practically hear your voice through the screen, which is super lovely 🥺💕

Momo: Not only that, but you thanked me in person on set so you really didn’t have to go out of your way to send a message! ✨ I just wanted to enjoy some good food with you guys so don’t worry about it‼🥰

Osaka Sougo: Thank you for your kind words…! I wanted to properly express my gratitude, that’s why I wrote you a message.

Osaka Sougo: I think your rabbichats are wonderful as well. I can hear Momo-san's tender heart and gorgeous voice permeate through the letters.

Momo: Wonderful…? 🥺 ba-dum…

Osaka Sougo: Yes! It’s one of your many charms.

Momo: Does that mean you like me…? 🥺

Osaka Sougo: It might be a bit presumptuous of me to say, but yes!

Momo: Yaaay~~! 🫶 Momo-chan and Yuki will sandwich you and turn you all squishy! 💚💜🩷

Osaka Sougo: S-squishy…!? 

Osaka Sougo: I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness…! I’ll make sure to train my core regularly so that I can withstand any unexpected situations (being turned into a squishy mess for example).

Momo: Unexpected situations LMAOOO

Osaka Sougo: I respect Re:vale a lot after all…

Momo: You’re too cute, Sougo 🤩✨ I’m glad we could chat since our break times didn’t overlap today (*´艸｀) 💕

Momo: We mainly had Chinese food for today’s catering, what did you like the most? 🍜

Osaka Sougo: Everything was delicious, but if I had to choose one dish, I’d say the tantan soup (1)! Being able to choose the level of spiciness was fun.

Momo: Yours was super red though!? lolol

Osaka Sougo: Yes, I’d say it was about the same color as Scarlatto Veneziano.

Momo: What the hell my eyes just glazed over trying to read that lolololol

Osaka Sougo: It’s a reddish-orange! It may even resemble the color of a fully ripe persimmon.

Momo: Hoho…! Glad the catering was up to your tastes! The spice handle went from 1 to 10 🫣

Osaka Sougo: Yes…! I went with level 8.

Momo: 8!?!?!?

Momo: Wouldn’t your lips swell up from the spice and turn puffy!? 😭 Your character’s gonna end up being “that guy with the lip filler” instead !?!? 😭😭

Osaka Sougo: Oh, I was totally fine! I actually toned the level down since I have a secret code with Mitsuki-san.

Momo: Dude you keep dropping some crazy lines lololol what’s you guys’ secret code!?

Osaka Sougo: When Mitsuki-san asks, “How spicy is it?” I promised to reply, “Just a little!” especially when I’m eating outside, so we don’t alarm those around us.

Momo: What the hell, that’s so cute!!! It’s like a call-and-response (2)! I’m totally asking you “How spicy?” next time 🤩

Osaka Sougo: Yes…! And I will respond with “Just a little!”

Momo: I’m kinda sad that the shoot’s gonna be over soon~~! 😭

Osaka Sougo: Likewise, I really loved the set... The atmosphere you create is so warm, Momo-san.

Osaka Sougo: I apologize for the mistake I caused on the first day, the reshoot must’ve been an inconvenience…

Momo: Oh youuuu, stop worrying about that! 🥺 If you’re gonna say that, then I messed up a bunch too! You had to carry wine for so long because I kept reshooting lolol

Osaka Sougo: No, that situation was out of your control since your costume didn’t flow the way it was supposed to…!

Momo: Yup! Making it look like I was floating was much harder than I thought it’d be! 🥺 

Momo: That’s the scene where your character, who works at the hotel the ghost lives in as a waiter, yells out “Why do you keep interrupting me during work!? You cruel ghost, get out!” right? 🤔

Osaka Sougo: Yes… I’m not used to yelling, so my voice cracked a little… It’s an important scene too. The ghost was interested in my character, but I couldn’t stand the pranks he pulled on a daily basis anymore and I exploded…

Momo: But I really loved your acting! You were blushing right up to your ears, your hands were shaking, and so was your voice. You exploded with emotion.

Momo: That’s why I got more into my own role than usual, I think! I ended up responding to the waiter’s anger with extra sass, and I went, “What do you want me to do to pass time then, you stupid brat!” ✨

Osaka Sougo: Thank you very much… Your playful and mischievous tone was also very wonderful, Momo-san! You embody every role you play so well…!

Momo: Ehehe, thanks 🤗 I really like this role since it’s cute! 

Momo: It’s so endearing how he ghost actually wants to be friends with the waiter, but he just can’t be honest about it 🥺❤

Osaka Sougo: He’s a bit of a tsundere, isn’t he. If only he asked the waiter to play with him, things wouldn’t have escalated to that degree…

Momo: They keep misunderstanding each otherrrrrr! I totally relaaaaate!!!

Osaka Sougo: You and Yuki-san always seem to understand each other perfectly, but it sounds like you’ve had moments like that too…

Momo: Yeah, for sure! All the time actually. Yuki does so many things I can’t do, I can’t even begin to grasp some of it. I want to support him too, but sometimes what I think is helpful isn’t what he actually needs… and vice versa.

Momo: Most of the time, it’s just us trying to do something good for each other that backfires LOL

Osaka Sougo: I understand………………………….

Momo: you relate in a way huh LOL

Osaka Sougo: May I ask, how do you resolve those misunderstandings…?

Momo: We argue to the bitter end! We talk!

Osaka Sougo: You argue!? Is that okay?!

Momo: Of course! Leaving things that way is actually the worst! Though I’ve only learnt that from spending so many years with Yuki so I can’t be too high and mighty about it

Momo: We fight because we wanna understand each other, share what we feel, and cherish one another

Osaka Sougo: I see how it is

Osaka Sougo: Tamaki-kun and I cherish each other too, right?

Momo: Yup! You can lose sight of something that obvious when you spend so much time with someone.

Momo: Thanks, Sougo! Talking to you made me reflect on myself and how much I wanna keep working hard, together with Yuki.

Osaka Sougo: Oh no, I’m the one who should be thanking you…! at first I only wanted to thank you, but I’m grateful you listened to me for this long!

Momo:

Momo: Yuki’s stuck composing something right now so I didn’t wanna bother him, but I’ll reach out and make sure he gets some fresh air. Even if I have to drag him out. 😤

Osaka Sougo: I see, then I’ll try to reach out to Tamaki-kun even when he’s busy with choreography or school. I wanna talk to him about work even more!

Momo: That’s awesome 😤 😤 Let’s catch up again soon, Sougo! 😤

Osaka Sougo: Yes…! I’m looking forward to it 😤

Tantan soup: Tantanmen soup, inspired by the Chinese Sichuan Dandan noodles. A spicy and creamy noodles dish. (via kitchenstories)

Call and response: a form of interaction between a speaker and an audience in which the speaker's statements ("calls") are punctuated by responses from the listeners. This form is also used in music, where it falls under the general category of antiphony. (via wikipedia)

[daeva-agas]

Oh ok, so I was completely wrong. The crazy one is Matsunaga Hisahide, the guy who exploded himself with a teapot... That checks out for "crazy", I guess.

Yaaay it's not Magoichi!!!!

Like, Matsunaga has this reputation of torching this grand Buddha statue for no reason. Plus, up until recently if you search for pictures of Matsunaga you'd get these pictures of a deranged old dude smashing up a teapot so he just looks really psycho.

But the other one... is... SHOGUN YOSHITERU???????? Aw man, it's another one of those unreasonable "we thought he was dead but he wasn't".

Like, Yoshiaki became the shogun because his brother Yoshiteru died. So if Yoshiteru is not dead, then where'd he go? And he just sat there doing nothing while Yoshiaki made a big mess of everything???

Matsunaga being un-killed is fine, because he died in a siege and blew himself up with the teapot. So just say that the teapot exploded and nobody actually died, and that's fine. Or maybe the story will be "actually the teapot bomb thing is not true".

But Yoshiteru???? HOW???? WHY????

Unless maybe the wormhole kidnapped Yoshiteru however many years ago that was, and then spat him out in the future, so because he "disappeared", he was proclaimed dead?

Anyway, it's the ex-shogun and some high brow (albeit psycho) Kyoto court official. I guess we're gonna start doing more ~whacky Sengoku politics~ and, I dunno, maybe they'll involve the emperor again and stuff.

[melikedraw]

Hello good evening how are you? Msy I ask for more gaolang headcanons pretty please w a cherry on top?

Pre-dating Gaolang headcanons

Gaolang x gn!reader

FUCK YEA I love him he's my little meow meow goodeveningtoyoutoo I /gen don't give a fuck if it's ooc I think this is funny

~~~~~

- he is so dense yet so observant at the same time it's actually crazy how he does that

- as in, he'll remember your birthday, your favorite colour, how you like to style your hair, even down to small stuff like that one object you looked at from afar, he takes note of all of it

- but when it comes to you dropping hints? He's so ignorant about it it's as if he's doing it on purpose

- it's a little bit of that, he doesn't think you would actually want him romantically, and therefore ignores when you say something like "that could be us lol" and point at a couple. He just came to the conclusion that you're silly like that

- he thinks he isn't suited for romance, and tells himself that he's too busy, that he has too much going on in his life, and he wouldn't be able to handle more

- you gotta be reeeal patient with him, it'll take a while for him to actually start considering you as a possibile romantic partner

- for a very long time, he just thinks of you as a "special friend", not quite a lover, but definitely not a run in the mill buddy of his either

- probably gets a bit annoyed when someone asks "what are you two?" And he has to answer with "just friends." It irritates him to have to say that but he doesn't understand why it feels so off to him

- he's also much more lenient with you, letting you do stuff he wouldn't let just a friend do, like touch him, his hair, his face, his hands, just him in general

- he also tends to talk about you to other people. Like if something brought up in the conversation reminds him of you he'll just be like "oh yea, y/n does that too."

- has one of those middle of the night eureka moments where he's like "oh... I like like her."

- after which he will start distancing himself from you lol (seriously, he avoids the shit out of you) thinking of excuses to tell himself about why he shouldn't date you

- he doesn't want to be burdened by love, he's much too busy for that (someone please teach him that love isn't a burden) (cough cough y/n cough ahem)

- soon enough he'll realize on his own that ignoring you isn't working (he misses you :( ) and switches to plan b

- FINALLY pursuing you (yaaay, congrations guys, milestone moment)

- he is suuuper formal with it, probably sends you invites to dinner via mail...

- he treats asking you out like a job, taking it very very seriously and often robotically as if he's just following a set of rules or steps

- first few dates are painfully awkward

- the dates themselves are actually pretty perfect, classic fancy dinner date, very romantic vibes, he's nice, as always

- it's just that, him going from avoiding you to straight up telling you he plans on pursuing you was quite the jump

- also he does actually straight up say "I will be pursuing you. Be ready" Yikes (rizzless /j)

- he only asks you to be his bf/gf/lover/partner after date 5 because he wants you to be absolutely sure that you want to be with him romantically (sigh took him long enough istg)

- rama knew from the start btw (you're the only person that gaolang actually talks positively about to him)

[eli0004]

I was hoping someone would ask for this! Yaaay!!!! I hope you enjoy @chinchillaerwin

Summary: further information on french kissing with Levi

Gn!reader

Warnings: slight nsfw implication

I think in most cases, Levi becomes a little nervous when trying something new. French Kissing, in his head, is one of those things that takes more skill than regular kissing, and he’s always unsure whether he has that necessary skill. He never wants to disappoint you, or do something wrong and fuck up the moment.

I think this will probably happen with most of the firsts in your relationship with him. Even the first kiss was strategically planned. His sweet little brain loves to follow order and routine, and going outside of that has to be on his terms more often than not.

Additionally, you have to admit french kissing does not sound appealing at all. And he might be unsure at first about having your tongue in his mouth, or vice versa. Essentially, Introducing new things into your intimate relationship takes time.

Eventually he’ll go for it. When everything feels right and the circumstances all add up, when he feels comfortable to explore, he’ll decide he’s ready and he’ll initiate.

In this particular instance, you’re probably touching him nicely. Not too aggressive or eager, just taking your time with him. Like i said in the previous post, he’s just an awkward lil guy so he isn’t sure where to put his hands when you two first get started. He’s likely holding onto your forearms or searching for your hands to hold.

You’re kissing him sweetly, gently, and that’s always a boost to his confidence. He likes knowing that you place importance on handling him with care sometimes, especially since most people assume he’s invincible.

With that newfound confidence, he’ll decide to go for it. You’ll feel the tip of his lil tongue poking at your lips in between your kisses, caress his cheek softly with your thumb and let him in.

Levi discovers that he quite likes the passion and eagerness of open mouth kissing. He lets out these soft breathy hums, and his hands move from your arms to your hair, his nimble fingers tangling themselves into the roots.

His body is more lax and pliable now, and he’s really into the moment. If you decide to touch him below the belt, be prepared for things to escalate quickly. I believe that kissing with tongue is likely something that turns him on quite a bit.

[howlingday]

Nora & Jaune's Road Trip

Get up... Hey...

Jaune: ...

C'mon... Get up...

Jaune: Huh... That voice... Who is that?

Jaune... Get up...

Jaune: Hnngh...?

Nora: Wake up, loser! We're at Waffle House!

Jaune: Huh?! What?! Waffle House?!

Nora: You said you wanted waffles, and you're getting waffles, dammit!

Jaune: Nora...? What time is it...?

Nora: IT'S FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING! YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING FOREVER, NOW GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND GET SOME WAFFLES WITH ME!

Jaune: Was I really asleep for that long?

Nora: I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN WAITING TWO FUCKING YEARS NOW LET'S GO BASK IN THE HOUSE OF WAFFLE, MY BROGHEE!

Jaune: (Sighs) Fine...

Nora: Yaaay~!

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: Loooooook, Jaune~! Look at the magnificence of the Waffle House...

Jaune: ...Yup. That's definitely a Waffle House, alright.

Nora: Isn't it so wonderfully quaintly shitty? Doesn't it just scream, "I'm going to have a massive coronary when I turn fifty if I eat here even once?"

Jaune: I... guess? I'm honestly just here for the waffles.

Nora: THEN LET'S GET YOUR GENEROUSLY FRENCH ASS UP IN THAT BITCH!

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Coughing) Augh! I can't breathe! This place stinks of syrup and cigarettes, and it feels like I'm inside of a sweaty armpit! (Wheezes)

Pyrrha: Oh, hello, Jaune~! What are you and Nora doing here?

Nora: I was gonna ask you the same thing!

Pyrrha: Oh, this is just me working my sixth job. I don't need sleep because I'm a perfect 10 goddess and I spend all of my time on that sigma female grindset. I want men to be financially dependent on me because financial-domination, or findom, is one of my kinks~! By the way, Jaune; what are you doing later~?

Jaune: Uh, right now, I'm trying to get a fuck-

Pyrrha: Hold that thought, Jaune. I need you to duck.

Jaune: Wha-

Pyrrha: (Throws Jaune to the ground, Immediately kicks chair through window) YEEEAAAH~! DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?! THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME~! I AM THE BEST GIRL EVER BECAUSE I AM QUEEN SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF CHAIRS~!

Jaune: Yeah... Cool... Uh, can we order something?

Pyrrha: Like what?

Jaune: Food? Like, waffles at Waffle House?

Pyrrha: Oh, we don't serve food here. People just throw chairs at me because I'm the Waffle House's new hostess. Oh, speaking of, here comes a wooden one! Hit the deck, Nora~!

Nora: (Dives to the floor)

Pyrrha: HEEEEEEEE-YA~! HOH YEAH~! Did you guys see that shit?! I was so badass just now! If we had animators, I bet I'd look so fucking sexy just now~!

Nora: Hmph! Stupid Pyrrha... Thinks she's sooooo great just because she practices martial arts. Too bad for her, I have a hammer. Isn't that right, Baby Girl? Time to show Mama Thicc Thighs who's Queen Bitch around here! Kekekekekek~!

Jaune: Are you seriously going to murder her just because she did something cool?

Nora: And how! I'm best girl here, NOT HER! GET READY TO DIE, YOU DC-REJECT BITCH~! (Lunges)

Jaune: DC? What the fuck is a DC?

Pyrrha: (Kicks hammer to the stratosphere)

Nora: NO~! My best hammer! I only have one left now! I can't let her take my other hammer! WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

Jaune: What? C'mon, I wanted a waffle! Wait, where are you even keeping all those hammers?

Nora: Um, excah-you-se me! Where EVERY lady keeps her hammers! Geez! Get with the program, Jaune!

Jaune: Ugh... Fine... Can we go to Do-

Nora: YOU CAN'T SAY DOMINOS!

Jaune: ...Wait, why? Like, I can mention Waffle House, but I can't say Do-

Nora: JAUNE.

Jaune: Uh... Can we go to, uh... the legally-distinct-but-still-Dominos pizza place?

Nora: Ah, yes~! Salvarelli's~! A lot of people prefer Burchin's, but I fucking hate that place! The food there sucks! Salvarelli's is where it's at! Let's go get greasy, diarrhea inducing pizza from there~! This place is already crampin' my style...

Jaune: Alright~!

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HELLO THERE, JAUNE~ IT'S ME; THE OVEN AT SALVARELLI'S~

Jaune: Uh...

I WANT YOU TO PUT A BIG PIECE OF MEAT INSIDE OF MEEEEEE~

Jaune: Uh... I-I... I don't see any meat anywhere...

PLEASE, JAUNE... I WANT YOU TO PUT IT IN... I'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR TOO LONG~

Jaune: M-Miss Oven... Are you trying to seduce me?

I'M ALL WARMED UP OVER HERE... I JUST NEED YOU TO GIVE IT TO ME... SO WE CAN CREATE SOMETHIN' NEW TOGETHER~

Jaune: Stop.

JAUNE, BABY, PLEASE... DON'T KEEP NEGLECTIN' ME... NOBODY GIVES ME ANY LOVIN' ANYMORE~

Jaune: You're an oven! How am I supposed to even...

PLEASE, BABY... PUT IT IN! I'M BEGGIN' YA, HONEY... PUT IT IN ME... I NEED IT~

Jaune: NOOOOOOOORAAAAAAA! The pizza oven is sexually harassing meeeeeee! It keeps asking me to "put it in", but I don't know what they're talking about! What do they meeeeeean?! What do they want me to do?!

C'MON, BABY... DON'T BE A TEEEEEEASE... JUST GET OVER HERE AND GIVE ME THAT SATISFACTION I NEED~

Nora: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OVER HERE?!

Jaune: The oven keeps flirting with me!

. . .

Nora: ...

Jaune: ...

Nora: Jaune?

Jaune: Y-Yeah?

Nora: That's an oven. Ovens are incapable of human thought, speech, communication, or cognition.

Jaune: But-

Nora: Now order a pizza or we're going to Burchin's, which is a fate worse than death, so you should probably get a move on.

Jaune: Y-Yes, ma'am!

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Nora: ...Hey, what's that thing say on the car in front of us? I can't read it.

Jaune: Does it really matter?

Nora: JAUNE...

Jaune: Alright, alright... It says, uh... "Shortstack b-words should be riding my d-word instead of driving." Ugh... That's so gross...

Nora: IT SAYS WHAT?!

Shortstack bitches should be Ridin' my dick instead of drivin'

Nora: Oh, he's a dead motherfucker.

Jaune: What?

Nora: BUCKLE UP AND HANG ON, JAUNE!

Jaune: WHAT?!

Nora: (Flashing her lights, Revs the engine) HEY, YOU CANDY ASS! GET OUTTA THAT FUCKIN' CAR AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE LIKE A MAN!

Jaune: OOOOOOH GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Nora: C'MON, PUSSY! (Tailgating him)

Jaune: NORA, KNOCK IT OFF OR WE'RE GONNA CRASH! AGH! YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN!

Nora: I AIN'T SLOWIN' DOWN FOR SHIT! (Merges onto interstate, Chasing) GET BACK HERE, MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Jaune: NORA, HE'S GOT A GUN!

Nora: DO IT, YOU FUCKING PUSSY! I DARE YOU!

Jaune: (Sees other guy shoot out truck tire) TRUUUUUUUUCK!

Nora: (Swerves around rolling truck)

Jaune: (Hyperventilating) Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod...

Nora: (Sees machine gun poke out) SHIT, LOOK OUT!

Jaune: (Ducks) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Nora: (Rams guy's backside repeatedly)

Guy: STUPID FUCKING CUNT!

Nora: (Whips out pistol, Fires at car)

Guy: YOU CRAZY BITCH! (Speeds up)

Jaune: NORA! THE BRIDGE IS OUT!

Nora: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JAUNE! (Stops) WHAT, DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING BLIND?!

Jaune: Oh god... I... I think my heart's gonna give out...

Guy: (Rockets off bridge, Car explodes)

Jaune: Wait, why did his car explode?!

Nora: I DUNNO, BUT IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME~!

Jaune: ...Are those sirens?

Nora: ...Shit. Cops.

ATTENTION! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!

Nora: We gotta go!

Jaune: It's too late, Nora~! They've got us surroundeeeeeed~!

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Officer: Nora Valkyrie, you're under arrest for grand theft auto and murder.

Nora: YOU FUCKING CROOKED COPS! I'LL GET YOU! YOU WON'T ESCAPE! MY! WRAAAAAAAAAAATH!

Jaune: Phew! What a day... I learned what ass actually tastes like, admired the beauty of the female form, bought myself this neat watch, had an oven sexually harass me, AND got into a car chase?! This is probably the best half-day of my life~!

Officer: And you're under arrest for actions as an accomplice!

Jaune: Wuh-oh...