#a lot of my designs r like subject to change most of the time

[c10v3r]

refs for my gijinkas cuz like i wanna put them on my art fight profile 🫡

theyre like my ocs atp so it counts !!!!!!!

[vexwerewolf]

Should I read homestuck

tl;dr: no

actual answer: yes, but with some extremely important caveats.

Firstly, because Adobe shitcanned Flash, you can now no longer experience Homestuck in the form it was intended upon release... unless you download the Unofficial Homestuck Collection. This act of unbelievable, nay, saintly generosity by Homestuck's most dedicated fans allows you to experience Homestuck as it was intended - as close as is humanly possible.

"As close as is humanly possible" is the key phrase here. One indelible part of the original Homestuck experience was UPDATE! Homestuck would sometimes go weeks or even months (and later, years) between updates. I wasn't on Tumblr back in the day, but at the peak of Homestuck, even if you knew nothing else about it, you'd know when an update dropped because Tumblr's net traffic would increase something like three to fourfold. People would go apeshit bananas about whatever new revelations the Huss would drop on us.

You also need to realise that Homestuck is a product of its time and while its takes on sexuality and gender identity was pretty progressive (for its time), Huss did use the r-slur a bunch.

While we're on the subject of the author, Andrew Hussie (of whom my current understanding is that they have not changed name but go by they/them nowadays) is, in the most diplomatic possible terms, a very unique person. They are, at times, a visionary storyteller with genuinely fascinating ideas. At other times, they come off as kinda spiteful towards their readers.

Without meaning to dip into spoilers, some story beats seem (in my opinion) almost intentionally calculated to upset, irritate or mock certain fans. It never rises to the sheer vicious contempt that Steven Moffat had towards Sherlock's fanbase, but it does leave a bad taste in my mouth whenever I go back.

Additionally, and this is where a sort of birds-eye-view spoiler is unavoidable, the story suffers from the Game of Thrones pitfall of repeatedly increasing its own complexity by adding new plot threads without resolving existing ones, eventually leading to fatigue on the part of both the reader and the author. The arcs of a lot of characters just straight up get abandoned, while a couple of characters take an unnecessarily large amount of screen time.

There's one character in particular that the author openly states within the narrative (the author exists within the world of the story. It's... a whole thing) that they favour, and whose behaviour the story is warped to accommodate. You'll know exactly who I'm talking about almost the moment they show up.

Another reason I say that it's not really possible to read Homestuck as it was originally intended is because a lot of the shit that happens in it fits into the zeitgeist of the internet at the time any individual update was written. There's a whole section in the late middle third that is inextricably and very specifically tied to how it was like to use Tumblr in 2012.

Additionally, a lot of things have soured with time. There was the whole Hiveswap debacle (it was first announced in 2012. We got the first act in 2017. We got the second act in 2020. We do not even know if the third act will ever come out.). There were the legal threats. There were the Epilogues and Homestuck 2, which were... how do I put this? Not universally liked. There's been nearly a decade of discourse since Homestuck ended, and a lot of things haven't grown better with age.

All of that being said.

You should read it.

I cannot express to you just how big an impact Homestuck has had on internet culture. Even people who claim to hate Homestuck unconsciously use slang that it invented. Its unique ideas on storytelling, character design and narrative chronology have, in both subtle and unsubtle ways, changed the way millennials and Gen Z tell stories.

A lot of people were inspired to tell stories because of Homestuck - one example I always give to Lancer players is that Kill Six Billion Demons started as a comic on the MSPA forums (before it was homestuck.com, it was MS Paint Adventures), so Homestuck is in an indirect but demonstrable way responsible for the existence of Lancer. The sunglasses that Gideon Nav from the Locked Tomb wears have been explicitly stated by Tamsyn Muir to be Dave Strider's. Toby Fox made music for Homestuck, and worked on large parts of Undertale while living in Andrew Hussie's basement.

We also know someone in the Bluey creative team is a Homestuck, because...

There are subtle but direct references in Bojack Horseman, Hazbin Hotel, Steven Universe, Adventure Time - and those are just the ones that it's easy to prove! In a more general sense, I think there's a lot of cartoon series, movies, games, etc. that would either be very different or wouldn't exist if Homestuck hadn't happened.

It's certainly influenced my work.

I think, being very cautious to manage your expectations, that you should read Homestuck. At the very least, a lot of things people say on Tumblr will start to make, if not sense, a different kind of nonsense.

[destinygoldenstar]

What Separates Digital Circus’s Horror From Others

Disturbing.

Unnerving.

TERRIFYING.

BUT WHY?!

On the surface to the… five people that never watched The Amazing Digital Circus Pilot, this show looks like a Five Nights At Freddy’s knock off.

It’s a cute mascot show that is actually secretly a horror monster infested world.

Even people who haven’t seen FNAF at least seen a few clips of it and what it’s famous for. I know I have.

My sister is super into this, and she hogs the TV, so… RIP me.

That’s what most non-horror stans usually view horror as.

The jumpscares.

The unnerving imagery.

The designs made to freak out the viewers and make them uncomfortable.

It’s usually quite obvious when something is a horror, cause these aspects are often front and center. You can usually tell it’s a trailer of a horror movie by just looking at it.

At least, from my, a non-horror lover’s understanding. For some reason these sorts of things, especially indie animated ones, are the faces of a lot of content farms.

If the product itself isn’t r@%ing your audience, it’s those.

(TAKE MY WARNING AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY: IF YOU VALUE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND YOUR SANITY, DO NOT LOOK UP THIS MOVIE)

BUT BACK ON SUBJECT.

Digital Circus… doesn’t really have this stuff.

There’s no jumpscares.

(I mean there is in a trailer, but it’s used as a joke.)

The character designs are very cute looking without any alternate versions that are scary.

And the imagery of the show remains cute and fun all throughout. The darkest it gets is in a realistic looking office.

But there are no jumpscares in that scene.

It’s just… a normal office.

If this was a horror, then perfect opportunity, right?

So… what’s going on here?

This, my friends, is why Digital Circus is not your typical indie animated horror flick.

And why people even call it ‘scary’ at all.

Here’s the trick this show uses.

It’s not the imagery.

It’s not the designs.

It’s not even intentionally trying to scare you.

Caine is not intentionally trying to scare the audience. He’s just acting like an A.I.

Yeah he has SOME unnerving moments.

But compared to THIS:

I’d say Caine is pretty tame.

Maybe it’s an indicator that he’s secretly a monster like the Other Mother in Coraline.

That horror flick is about the host lying to the protagonist and revealing their horror-like appearance later on.

But not only was it confirmed that Caine is NOT evil. But look at his design right away and his presentation.

There is no sign so far that he lies about anything. At least not what he doesn’t know.

Yes he lied about the exit. But the exit ITSELF was the thing that sent you to the VOID. So really he kinda tried to protect them.

If he didn’t, he’d let jester girl eject herself like Among Us.

So why is it unnerving?

Because it’s the POV we the audience are in for most of the episode: Pomni.

Pomni is an Audience Surrogate.

Audience Surrogates are characters designed specifically to be a placeholder for the audience.

People usually assume this trope as the character made to be the bland and generic one. But that’s actually not true.

An audience surrogate can be as simple as a First Person POV. As all it means is that the character is designed to have the same reactions the audience would in the situation they would find themselves in.

Course, not speaking for everybody, but majority that would consume the content.

Thus, with Pomni as the audience surrogate, we the audience are thrusted into her shoes the whole time. We feel the fear she does. We are experiencing the circus the same time she does.

Notice the editing in some scenes. Specifically the scenes Pomni is NOT in.

When Pomni is in a scene, there’s usually some change in lighting or camera movement that’s unnerving.

But when she isn’t in a scene, these editing moves aren’t there at all.

Which makes it pretty easy to suggest that these unnerving edits are just what’s going on in Pomni’s head.

So with that, when she’s scared. We’re scared. We’re in her POV.

But she’s scared all the time. That’s just her average personality, right?

Then why make these specific edits?

Let’s think about this:

This character is trapped in a world that isn’t her own. Everything is unusual, and she wants out. But instantly realizes there’s no escape.

And then gets told this is her new home and her new body.

A home she doesn’t recognize. And a body she doesn’t even know the name of.

She lost all sense of identity in an instant. Losing everything about herself in an instant. To the point where she can’t even remember what she was before.

And to make matters worse, because this is unusual, everything SEEMS terrifying. Even to those trying to help her adjust.

The only way out of such a confusing and terrifying world is to escape. Which is what she tries to find the entire time.

So THEREFORE:

The horror is this show is NOT the jumpscares or the creepy images.

The horror is THE VIEWER’S MIND.

This show constantly destroys your mind and breaks you through Pomni.

The idea of losing everything about yourself and being trapped in something unfamiliar forever. That IS terrifying.

If you were in this situation, you’d probably freak out even if you were the bravest being ever.

So it’s not about how scary the scene is on the outside.

It’s about what you’re THINKING that’s scary.

Ragatha’s distress monologue is not scary on the outside. But if you actually take into consideration what she says.

THATS terrifying.

That toys with your mind. And it also toys with Pomni’s.

The monster figure in the episode, the abstraction, is nowhere near as scary as something from FNAF

At least in my opinion.

Especially seeing what the monster does.

It can’t kill you. You’re just glitched.

Or maybe it CAN kill. But we never see that.

Even if Pomni ended up like Ragatha, Caine would’ve eventually came back, found them, and fixed them. And they would’ve been fine.

But then, rather out of nowhere, she STOPS.

And we get this shot.

I talked about this shot before. Said it quickly became one of my favorite shots in media.

This is why.

This shot makes me queasy every time.

The idea of looking in a mirror and not even being able to process or recognize yourself. Unable to even process your own reflection, that’s how unrecognizable you’ve become.

That’s horrifying.

And there’s no dialogue here either.

The episode effectively uses SHOW DONT TELL.

They SHOW you how scary the situation is. They SHOW you a single image that tells you everything.

It would’ve been so easy to just have Pomni say “I’m scared. I don’t recognize myself. Who is this person looking back at me?”

But no

They DON’T insult their audience.

They don’t TELL you.

They let you sink it in yourself.

Pomni doesn’t even have ANY lines after she goes through the exit door. And yet the shots after that with her have been plastered everywhere. Why? Cause she doesn’t need to tell you her mental state. You’re SHOWN it.

Can someone PLEASE tell the live action Avatar The Last Airbender that?!

Speaking of the office scene. This is the only moment in the show that looks… real. Not that cartoony.

Which I guess being in a setting that’s off putting from the rest makes it creepy, right?

Well not really.

Sure she’s running through rooms that seem to be repeating, which that of itself is sanity breaking. It reminds me a lot of another existential horror: The Stanley Parable.

But while that game is excellent and the monologue that plays in that ending is one of my favorites, it IS just telling you the sanity of the player.

Not that there’s anything wrong with this in that games style. There’s no other way that could’ve been done in that game.

Here, again, there’s no dialogue. It’s just Pomni running through these desperate for the exit.

The scary part about this is that we KNOW the absolute DESPERATION she has.

Even if we couldn’t see her face, that’s still across because we’ve seen it the entire episode.

And then there’s her break.

She snaps at the sight of a desk, and gets fangs, that of a FNAF character. But only for a second. She doesn’t even go out at the camera with them. She goes on her merry way.

But Pomni, being the POV character, really doesn’t have much to be scared at about her.

So why is this terrifying? Why not go all the way if this is supposed to be a jumpscare?

Well cause it’s not.

A way to scare your audience is to make them feel dread. Lingering longing dread. Sometimes irrational dread.

People with anxiety especially get scared at things even when they’re completely safe. They feel an unease in their stomachs. They feel unable to move. Unable to speak. Unable to put it into words at all.

It could be because we saw something unnerving that stays in our subconscious. It could be because we’re nervous about something coming up. It could be because we’re in an uncomfortable situation.

Either way, anything even remotely resembling that triggering thing can break someone to feel this anxiety. Sometimes even something as simple as the dark. Even if we know we’re completely safe.

(Speaking as a person with anxiety myself)

She only snaps and cackles when she sees a random desk with a computer. Which also has the headset she put on there. The thing that got her in this.

But you might not have even seen the headset on your first viewing. I didn’t.

But your subconscious sees it. The environment not being like the others aids in unnerving you and making it hard to process what you’re looking at.

Why is this terrifying? Why does it break you? Why does it mentally break Pomni? We don’t know. It just does.

We’ve been stuck going through doors in repeating rooms for hours.

Fear makes you not able to overthink it.

So all of that is build up to the near perfect shot of Pomni at the brink of snapping at the dinner table. With the others voices blurred in her mind. As all she can do is fake a smile.

Terrifying End.

It’s not scary because it’s scary. It’s scary because it toys with the character, and the viewer’s mind

Now, is Digital Circus the first media to do this technique?

No. Not at all.

One of the most acclaimed animated movies, Spirited Away, also uses these exact same tactics for example.

That’s obviously a master class at this tactic. And it scared me as a child as a result. For all these exact same reasons.

It’s not a horror. Not traditionally. It’s not trying to scare you. But it does anyway cause in your mind it’s a scary concept.

And also, well, Spirited Away is a completed story as of the time this post comes out.

And Digital Circus only has one episode. But we did get confirmation this would be a series. And I personally have high hopes that this brilliant tactic is kept. From the trailer, it does seem like they’re not forgetting the stuff I bring up here. So I hope this works out for the creators despite the drama and the internet BS surrounding this show.

But even if not, we at least get one case in this show where we all want to curl up in a ball and cry

Us too Pomni. Us too.

Thank you for reading my… analysis a ton of people made before me, and probably better. Happy day for you all.

[brainrot-stitch]

AHAAA I FINISHED IT WOAHHH i usually don't finish art things omg...

Anyways current sabre design!!! (It will probably change bc I can NEVER make up my mind on any design ever sob)

He's such a goof :3 (IM NEVER DRAWING THAT RAINBOW ELYTRA AGAIN IM CRYING)

Anyways some headcanons below cuz I feel like yapping :3

-rainbow totally would have gotten him and sabre friendship necklaces (yk the matching kind with magnets that come together n all) and after knowing lucas for a bit he woulda made friendship bracelets !!

-like that one person I reblogged said, he's such a mad scientist he's so silly omgg

-i love the reincarnation au SO MUCH its literally fire but in normal headcanons I think he used to be part of the creed and an assasin and ermm

Basically I headcanon his whole assassins creed series was basically his backstory before starting to do research on these 'steve' entities

-when nervous/anxious his footsteps will be completely silent out of habit from the whole assassin thing, and he'd obviously do it when purposefully trying to sneak (he has probably scared rainbow or Lucas multiple times by doing this..)

-I'm not sure weather to headcanon that his wings were damaged by a steve really early on in the steve saga (like before rainbow could speak or maybe when dark was still pretending to be blue) or if it was smth that happened when he was still an assassin but it's one of those!!!

-hes an avian.. heh... if u couldn't tell from the ref sheet.. but NOT a chicken!! The chicken jokes are just bc of the hoodie and bc his feathers look a lil similar :3

-he has like 2 of the same chicken hoodie he'll wear most often but still has some normal outfits AND assassins outfits and weapons he keeps away (most are green or have some sort of green in them heh.. I might draw that later)

-ok ok ok I have so many eye headcanons it's so hrggrrrrh the main one tho is one I snatched from the reincarnation au and that's that he doesn't have eyes!! Bc of an injury or sum and he js says he has sensitive eyes and the bandana fabric is see through up close.. but he can still see bc he's a player and the way players work is weird. Other headcanon, green eyes. Other headcanon, brown eyes. Other headcanon, heterachromia green and brown eyes. Other headcanon pure white eyes. Other headcanon code eyes. Other headcanon (gets hit by a bus)

-if we r going with the reincarnation au for the eyes, I feel like only rainbow and Lucas would know, if we're going with the others, I'd say rainbow, Lucas, Alex, galaxy, and maybe the guardian (I forgot if that's what he was called or not) would know. If we're going with the code eyes, then only lucas would know

-not sabre specifically but I feel like steves in general wouldn't be very used to or know but about blood/gore stuff, bc they're more used to being destroyed/poofing, and later on being destroyed through a machine. Being actually killed by a sword or something of the sort they are not used to seeing, and are very touchy on the subject

-on that note I imagine if there's like a steve that's immune to most or all other steve powers and or machines that they're trying to get rid of and arguing on what to so abt I imagine sabre being like "oh 1 sec I got this" and boom that mf DEAD 😭

-and they'd b like 😰

"Guess we're gonna have to kill this guy sabre" "damn"

-ermmm silly billy activity...

-I feel like he'd know a lot more than the other steves on things like the nether and end (not end city tho that's a whole other mc headcanon I don't feel like yapping abt rn) bc those are the dimensions players have access too and steves usually dont.. so they'd b like "WTF SABRE WHAT R U DOING THAT IS A LITERAL HELLSCAPE WITH LAKES OF FIRE AND MONSTERS WEVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE FYM U CAN GET 'NETHERITE' THERE" and he'd b like "well don't go in the fire then and it anything attacks u kill it ig" (not actually sob.. I feel like only he and Lucas would go there bc most steves r hindered greatly by lava and the only ones we've seen that aren't are bad guys if my memory is correct)

Ermm I have more but I'm eepy and can't remember so those r for another day!!!

Reblogs>likes

Don't post my art to other platforms without my permission pls x3

[xiii-e]

for Xie i hop u have a good day

for Lio...

i read wut you said. im gald i dint make things worse. sometimes i do that by accident

i didnt know i could hate HA anymore than i already did. i know its how hard it is for a regular person to get through there stupid bullshit program first hand, so i can only imagine how hard it is when they bake that shit into ur jeans or whatever.

HA made me a monster. they trained me and they changed me 2 be 1. i talked about what an enkidu does to u last night on another post... they filled me up with so many stims i could barely think most of the time, and they yelled at me wen i did anything other than kill for them.

im still the monster they turned me into. my BATTLERAGE never left. when i go too long without TEARING shit apart with SLAG KITTY i start to lose it. the stinging in my head starts again and it gets itchy and angry in my head. i MAUL because i have to and its a part of waht i am.

but that isnt all i am anymore. since the fuckers left me 2 die better people helped me learn to be a person again. I hav friends now and i liek exploring places and i think grils r like really really really pretty... im a whole person and im not just the part me they made.

I think Xie will always be a medic. their instinct to help people and make them stop hurting is baked in. but ive seen other parts of them too and theyre parts i really like. i think those parts will grow. specially once you manage to get them out of ther. i know you already know this, but i think itll maybe help to know that some1 else knows it 2

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

◂▸ Hey Sally- Xie's doing better than they were, having some quiet time in their room. They had a rough dream over their nap, head's giving them trouble, but! They're doing better now. They say hi :]

◂▸ ... yeah, you're not wrong there kiddo. Programming and conditioning can fuck with anyones head, but part of why they do these high-control Projects with us flashclones in the first place is because it's just- easier. No outside experiences to influence your subject, no family or history just... whatever you designed, floating in a tube. It's more expensive to custom-build a soldier than to just use fascimiles or vulnerable citizenship, but the payoff is the control. 'Specially if you bake in some behavioural quirks that back up what you wanna do. A predisposition toward anxiety, for instance. Uncontrolled empathy. Aggression, in some of the earlier models.

◂▸ Remove the ability to play god and fuck with someones genes directly and- yeah, stims. That horror show the Enkidu puts you through. I'm sorry they did that to you kiddo, they had no fucking right to- you already know that too but, likewise. Someone else knows that too. I don't think you're a monster, I think you're dealing the best you can with a problem you never should have been forced to deal with. They made it so the only positive association you got for years, was with violence. Course that's gonna be near impossible to kick entirely.

◂▸ ... makes me real happy to hear you talk about the parts of yourself you found after you got out, kiddo. Sounds like you understand stuff better than a lot of folk out there, and that- that probably comes from experience. You happy out there? You mention people helped you learn to be a person, after HA abandoned you in the field, mention you have friends now. That's real good to hear about. People who get it make everything managable, I think. You're a good person to know, Sally- I'm real glad you and Xie got talking. I know they're happy bout it too.

◂▸ I- I really hope I can get them out of here, one day. That's the first challenge, isn't it? Hope I can be there to see who they find within themself, once the job isn't bleeding them dry. Hope you'll be there to see it too. They'll always be the kind of person to put their own needs last, always be succeptable to that guilt they've been wired with... but I think that'll be managable. Once they've got people who don't want to see them hurt. People who can actually do something about it.

◂▸ Thanks kiddo. Just let me know if you ever wanna talk, yeah? I've got some experience helping folk deal with the quirks conditioning can leave you with. You have anything along the lines of a chewtoy? Can help with minor aggression impulses sometimes, having something to tear at.

[ Helios-8 ]

//

[melissa-titanium]

sits down very politely last time i checked youre the only moot i have that is into monster hunter and i wanna learn a bit more on behalf of my fp!! mainly if the game is worth playing and what game to start with, alongside anything else youve got to offer :33 he wants to get into it and i trust your opinion on the subject bc youre very cool hehe

OH FUCKING BOY DO I LOVE 2 HEAR THIS. SMIRK.

ok ok ok ok so.

mainly if the game is worth playing

is the game worth playing.. you ask...HA.... HAA!!!!!! SMILES!!!!!! LAUGHS . CHUCKLES EVEN. Yes. AGAIN it isn't for everyone, the mainline games follow a pretty simple structure.

you are a hunter. there are monsters. you hunt them.

the game progresses with new monsters to hunt, new locales to explore, and as the world around you gets more difficult to traverse, you are able to upgrade your gear with the parts of the monsters you have hunted. each fight is very unique to itself, monsters often utilizing the area around them or certain abilities they possess (usually given biological, mostly down to earth explanations,) and overall you'll find yourself discovering little interesting tidbits to each fight the more you fight a specific monster.

there are 14 different weapon types to choose from (18, if you include frontier.) some are slashing, some are piercing, some are bludgeoning. heres the weapon list;

greatsword, longsword, sword and shield, charge blade, switch axe, hammer, insect glaive, hunting horn, heavy bowgun, light bowgun, bow, dual blades, lance, & gunlance.

i personally main greatsword, sword and shield, charge blade, hammer, hunting horn, and gunlance.

i recommend sword and shield as a beginner's weapon because it's versatile, not too fast but not too slow, allows you to dip into both defense and offense depending on how you use the weapon, and also. fun to use :)

i don't know how to segue into this efficiently but mh has some of the most spectacular armor, weapon, & creature designs i have ever seen in media. here are some of my favorites

and what game to start with

HONESTLY. it all depends on your taste in games & what platforms you can play on. the series goes suuuuuper super far back, i believe 2004 was the very first entry in the series ? AND I PERSONALLY DONT RECCOMEND THE FIRST GAME UNLESS YOURE ALL FOR THAT BUGGY SHIT <333

A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO PREFER LIKE. NEWER GAMES R INTO MH WORLD.. IT HAS A LOT OF QOL CHANGES & IS A BIT OF A CHANGE OF PACE FROM THE REST OF THE SERIES BUUUUT. MY PERSONAL FAVE IS 4U :) older games r slower paced but. like. not in a bad way!!!!! i like it :cblush emoji:

you can play on like. literally any console i think. theres so many fucking games. switch has mhsunrise, mhgenu, mhstories2 ... pc you can play sunrise, worldborne, mhstories 1 and 2 and emulate anything LOL... 3ds has ?? tri and 4u.. uhhh. wii has tri. umm. fuck. theres more. i forgor.xbox ps4 etc can play world & rise... and wilds is coming out soon which is crossplay.. grinsssssss......

OK IM DONE. AUTISM OVER. SMILES. EVEYROEN SAY. WE LOJKVE U CIELERRRRRRRRRRRRR <3333333333333333333

[iviarellereads]

A note on coverage of The Murderbot Diaries

This one's perhaps even more of a departure from the initial expectations of the blog than the Neverending Story was, but all good things are... subject to change? No, that makes it sound like it's not as good.

The Murderbot Diaries are a series by Martha Wells, about a security construct (SecUnit, the name for the designated model type and, by extension, the name used by most of the people Murderbot encounters) that broke its own governor module (think DRM) and functions independently, though it pretends it's still good locked-down company property. It exhibits strong symptoms of social anxiety, making it one of the most relatable robots ever, and accidentally makes friends.

Murderbot itself has no gender. The audiobook narrator is Kevin R. Free, and the subject doesn't come up very often in the story, so a lot of people assume and assign masculinity. Despite that, Murderbot is and knows it is a construct accessorized with the most expedient biological parts, expresses no human gender, and uses it/its pronouns. This just doesn't get clarified until much later in the series, if at all, and I'd rather have everyone understand it up front so nobody accuses me of object-ifying a person who literally personally identifies as an object.

I think this series is really neat. It's so much an exploration of personhood, like your average robot story but with mental illness. Heck, don't mind if I make references all the way back to Rossum's Universal Robots, the (extremely readable or watchable! highly recommended by me) stage play that is the origin of the word itself in its modern context, or perhaps further back all the way to Frankenstein. Murderbot is in conversation with two hundred years of science fiction exploring what it means to be, and besides that, I think it does some really interesting things with the prose.

So, with the newest book coming out in a couple of months, I decided to merge my desire to reread it with my desire to pick it apart under a microscope the way this project allows. We'll be covering more or less in release date order, with the exception of the expanded edition of Compulsory recently released going back to back with the original to compare and contrast.

So please, instead of peace this time, give Murder(bot) a chance, and join me on this space adventure.

Link index:

All Systems Red

Artificial Condition

Rogue Protocol

Exit Strategy

Compulsory (Short story: Wired Magazine vs republished and expanded edition)

Obsolescence (Take Us To A Better Place collection)

Network Effect 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

Home: Habitat, Range, Niche, Territory

Fugitive Telemetry 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

System Collapse 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

[ispreadrabieslikewildfire]

Please tell me about Harper and Feena!

OMEHAGUROHMEGAUR OKOKOKOKOKOKOK SOSOSOOSOSOSO (thamk yo uso much TEHE) alao im sorry if this makes NO SENSE im spilling my head into paragraphs and not proofreading rhis is gonna end HORRIBLY but i hope you enjoy😭!

Anwyay so harper and feena started when @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat asked me to draw a silly guy eating monster much and he turned into harper (ill link some pictures to show) and he felt lonely so i made him a friend called feena and theyve been a thibg since then HOLY SHIT I THINK ITS BEEN 2 YEARS?????

Harper and feena r supposed to be my silly ocs that are my go toos when i start daydreaming and drawing! Their not supoosed to have too much trauma and stuff (IM CONTAINING MYSELF) so i camt head empty and harper its also so when i draw them they make me happy they are my happyness. So becazue i cant give them trauma i make altermate realitoes where i CAN give them trauma!!

Im gonna make sections so i caj explain everthing so it can atleast try to make sense

1. THEIR RELATIONSHIP :3

Ok so when i started I made them friends ofc!! And i thought they where cool as hell so i started thinking about their relationship and i was thinking how wierd it would feel if they where a couple so their thing is that their completely platonic and are jist realy close friends that are realy comfortable with each other, i wouldnt say like 'siblings' but more like that one cousin that your realy close with. I like to think of them as denji and power from chainsaw man (however i see denji and power as more of siblings) but no matter how close they get with eachither they dont feel anything romantic :3 i have a thing that when they where 14/15 they where like fuck it lets kiss and they hated it!!!!! they wanted to die!!!!!

I also have different ages for them i draw them as for whatever mood im in! So i have toddler harper and feena (theyve met in primary school) and then children harper and feena (10-12) and then theres also teen (14-16) and preadult idk forgot what its called (17-19) and adult! (20-22) by 20-22 they have an appartment with 2 other roomates nadia and caspian i dont realy have a story for them yet however they do have designs. So basically they jsut spend their entire lives together as besties and this is their main world where their happy and have no trauma and are just silly!!

2. Sexualities n stuff

Well im nor good at this stuff since i realy have no kmowledge but i kinda just peojected me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto them...

Harper:

Bisexual, he/they. Dyslexic and/or is on the autism spectrum idk i dont think much about this

Feena:

Aro/ace or Asexual i havent decided, goes by anything. I honestly dont even know she is any and all illnesses

3. Childhood and all

So i dont wanna give them a traumatic childhood since their my silly chracters!!

HOWEVER, they do have some sort of backstories.

Feena:

Some sort of religious trauma, her family where 100% praise our lord and saviour jesus christ and she didnt feel part. Knew what she was when she was a teen and after harper came out and was more comfortable. Didnt tell her parents until she moved out, (they very obviously didnt take it well) however is still in touch with them!! Their just kinda realy uncomforable whenever the subject changes to jesus or gay stuff idk.

Harper:

Twas a bit (a lot) stupider than most people his age (austismmmmm) his parents payed more attention to their sisters so that they could have a better education instead of wasting their time on a child thatll never learn and refuses to listen (wasnt diagnosed till he was an adult so they thought he was being annoying purposefully). Tbh just whats a hug LMAO. He came out to his parents, they told him it was just a phase and theylll get out of it eventually.

So ya!

4. The cats need their own section

So ive always eanted these 2 cats, one called jester one called mariposa. So if i cant have them whats better than having my oc that represents me having them?

This is jester! (SHES PREFECT THIS IS HOW I ENVISION HER)

This is mariposa :3

5. Universes

Like i said since i dont want harper and feena to have too much trauma i create new universes for them! Other than my main ailly one theres another 3 i favour out of all the ones i make

1. I made a dystopian after apocolypse one (MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE ITS SO FUN TO MAKE!!) where the aftermath is that the world (well at leats where their living) is split into two, the privlidged and less priveledged (I NEED NAMES FOR THESE I DONT HAVE ANY) anywwy what i think i can best decribe this as is like the hunger games, where theres the 'capitol' and the 'districts' but instead of there being districts its all just survival of the fittest L lmao so yah. So after the apocolypse harper and feena are split up. Feena ends up with the privileged and harper ends up with the less. Harper finds a place he can call 'home' (FOUNDFAMILYFOUNDFMILYFOUNDFAMILY) and feena ends up on the other side where she gets her memories wiped and she then hets brainwashed to belive she was sent down as a gift from god during hard times and everyone is supposed to worship her (tehe i wont bother yiu with any more of this story)

2. Silly little 80s teen ghost busting show like scooby doo with harper feena nadia and caspian

3. detective harper and feena (havent built a lot)

6. I FORGOT TO ADD DYNAMIC

So basically feena can be smart when she wants to but chooses to fuck around with harper, quite a bitch if you guys just met. Pretty resereved when shes around people she doesnt know amd her social skills arent great. If you give her a chance she can be quite nice and passionate. Can ramble for hours on ends

Harper, guys hes trying his best. Loud, can ramble for hours on end too.

And thats all i can think of...sorry for ramblong so much i jist realy love them. i dont expect anyonw to actually read this... Once again this is just me projecting me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto harper anf feena!

Thank you @rainbowghostcat sososoososo much i love youuahahhah <333

Ill attach drawing of them in the mprning!

[anthonypanics]

I was tagged by @grey-automa. I haven't done one of these in.. a while I think. so here goes.

were you named/named yourself after anyone?

Supposedly my name was a combination between my parents names. I don't see it myself.

when was the last time you cried?

Last October. Death in the family.

do you have kids?

Not unless you count cats.

do you use sarcasm a lot?

A lot more than you'd would be typical of one officially diagnosed with a syndrome named after a Nazi collaborator. I do wonder if I actually have autism or if I've got some misdiagnosed form of ADHD.

what's the first thing you notice about people?

Consider this as one part my own projection and one part my general observation: I think everyone's set up with their own worlds. Everyone sees and hears what they want most of the time and says what they find amusing at that moment. Everyone's got their bubble of knowledge that's expanded so far that it becomes hard to empathize with when things aren't part of their bubble or that other people aren't aware of things in said bubble. Everybody's simultaneously cursed with the knowledge they've accumulated overtime and hindered by a reluctance to accept the unknown, including that sometimes things will always be unknown even in our current age of (mis/dis)information.

So I suppose the first thing I notice is whether or not a person's willing to participate in the discourse of the unknown or if they're just going through the motions that's already set for them. Which I guess is just a pretentious way of saying I notice when a person only wants to listen to their own voice or if they actually want to talk with other people and both contribute to and get something out of a dialogue.

what's your eye colour?

kinda green I think?

any special talents?

Hyper-fixation is a blessing as well as a curse. Once I'm on a track, it's damn near impossible to get me to off it.

Surprising people with tricks I've picked up from childhood exposure to theatre has been kinda fun too.

scary movies or happy endings?

The two aren't mutually exclusive, but to not be a dick about it and get at what I think this means; depends on the mood I'm in. For most movies, I just want a feel good time, and every once in a while I'd like to explore the deeper and darker end of the pool and see what's lurking in there. A good ending isn't always a happy ending after all, but a good happy ending can do a world of wonders for the soul.

where were you born?

Flint. Yes, that Flint.

what are your hobbies?

drawing, tabletop gaming, video gaming, writing, diving into wiki rabbitholes

A lot of these overlap more that I'd like them to.

Occasionally I read a book, but not as much or as often as I'd like to admit. Tried to read Earthsea for a bit if anyone wants a recommendation.

have any pets?

Yes, my two beautiful cats Randy and Dunken

what sport do you play/have you played?

Not really a sports ball kind of person.

how tall are you?

gnome sized

favourite subject at school?

Funny enough, I enjoyed math and science classes more than arts and literature. Though I did have a really good writing teacher for one year in high-school that I wish I can look up and give her my thanks for changing my view on writing.

dream job?

The market for it is grim and I'm self conscious about my capabilities for it at this point, but I've always wanted to design some kind of official game that a lot of people would play and make their own thing with it. That or make a really cool looking animated project. Not much of a job as it's kind of a goal I wanna do.

tagging: @catmemer @monster--boyfriend @p-r-i-c-e-r @furbearingbrick @jthepearlord @citrucee

[bougonia]

Hey OP, sorry in advance for the essay but you stumbled upon something I've been thinking about a lot recently. Yes, perfumes are more popular due to advertising but it extends far beyond scentbird.

So... I just (rather abruptly) snapped out of a several-months-long fixation on fragrance. I had always been somewhat interested in fragrance from a sensory-seeking perspective but a few months ago I was reminded that there were various online communities about fragrance, a switch flipped in my brain, and I became completely obsessed. Spending hours and hours per day on various subreddits, websites, and blogs dedicated to personal fragrance.

While I did spend a lot of time just earmarking different scents that I wanted to try (most of which I never actually tried-- it was more of a "the research is the fun" kind of thing), I also became familiar with the culture surrounding perfumes, how we talk about them, and why they're having such a big cultural moment right now.

Up until recently, fragrance had more or less been a woman's game. There was enough cologne enthusiasts to keep the industry going and your average man would have a bottle or two, but if you pulled a random person off the street and asked if they wear fragrance daily, more women were going to say yes than men. Here's a survey among university students from 2020-- 56% of men vs 81% of women.

But as much as the recent trend targets women and girls, it has affected men and boys far more. In January 2023, r/perfumes had 21.2k members and has now increased by (a still absurd) 480% to 123k. r/colognes, on the other hand, had a mere 7165, and has now increased to 92k, an increase of almost 1200%. That is more than double the rate of growth. For context: reddit's userbase as a whole has increased about 21%.

(I wish I could get better data, including when the majority of users joined up, but because of reddit's API changes last year that's not really feasible)

To be clear, I do get that a certain amount is just due to the natural consequence of diminishing returns. Since more women were interested fragrance in the first place (enough to join a subreddit, anyway), there's a larger body of potential men and boys who could become consumers. But what makes people get "into" them in the first place? Obviously (and as OP pointed out) advertising.

And boy howdy are they advertising to men and boys. Specifically cisgender, heterosexual males aged 13 to 25. (Yes, 13. There was a New York Times article about the rise of designer cologne among teenage boys.)

There are so many tiktokkers and youtubers who are recieving promotional bottles of very expensive scents (seriously, it isn't uncommon for a single bottle to cost >$250, and a $100 bottle is often considered inexpensive) in return for hyping them up.

There are so many youtube videos that are top 10 lists of perfumes you need to buy Right Now using terms like "panty dropper", "smellmaxxing", and "beast mode". An emphasis is put on how the perfumes will get you compliments, how ladies love them, and how they are "the best scent" (which I find absurd; scent is a very subjective experience).

But why are boys watching these videos in the first place? What drew them there?

I actually don't necessarily think this was initially a calculated move by the perfume industry. They're encouraging and capitalizing on it now, for sure, but I don't think the initial domino was intended at all.

In my opinion, ground zero for the cologne phenomenon: Jeremy Fragrance.

Jeremy Fragrance has been a fairly popular youtuber for some time now, having been reviewing fragrances since 2014. But around December 2022, he began to go viral for his odd behavior. Interest in him died down for a little bit, but then again in March 2023 he goes viral again. After that, the previously eccentric man began an extended meltdown (theorized to be the result of cocaine usage) that cemented him as a target of parody and mockery. For lack of a better term, he became a lolcow. Clips of him would frequently go viral on tiktok-- particularly (albeit not exclusively) among teen boys and young men.

And that tiktok virality had an interesting side effect. As anyone who has ever used tiktok can tell you, it has a tendency to send you down rabbit holes. For all intents and purposes, Jeremy Fragrance was a fragrance reviewer. So you and your buddies watch a few of his videos, have a good chuckle, and then tiktok keeps showing you fragrance reviews. And hey, this sounds kind of interesting actually, maybe this would help me with women...

Eventually the tiktok algorithm recognizes that other content for teen boys and young men is frequently viewed alongside cologne reviews. So other members of that demographic get those reviews. And so on and so forth-- a self-reinforcing loop.

This is a major win for fragrance companies. More interest in reviews = more reviewers = more people to get to shill for you.

Of course, I don't think Jeremy Fragrance is the only factor. I don't think people would have taken to fragrance in the same way if there wasn't already fertile cultural soil for such a trend.

I suspect the (perceived or real) disenfranchisement of boys, the same atmosphere that bred manosphere content, is at least partially to blame. There's certainly some overlap in rhetoric. I can also imagine it's a reaction to the ubiquitous punchline that teen boys are smelly and gross.

I think a similar thing happened among women, except with a bunch of smaller, less conspicuous factors. Instead of the viral smash of Jeremy Fragrance, they had the "clean girl", skincare, and other trends that encouraged girls and young women to buy all sorts of products to perfect their bodies, fragrance included. Fragrance companies, having perfected social media marketing, could pull the same tricks.

(The idea of needing to have a different perfume for every occasion/season is more or less a new phenomenon outside of hobby circles. Sure is convenient for perfume companies, though...)

The increase of girls' interest in perfumes is more or less ignored. Granted, it's not as striking as teen boys suddenly spending thousands of dollars on niche and designer perfume, but it is a massive increase. But hey, women are supposed to be into perfumes, after all. It's just another one of those costs of femininity that we expect women to bear.

Obviously a lot of this is just speculation on my end. My suspicion that it's Jeremy Fragrance's fault is especially suspect. But a lot of this is based on trends that I have noticed, and I'm far from the only one.

Anyway, I love the idea of perfumes. I love having a scent that you really like that you can smell whenever you feel like it. I like coming across something and thinking, woah, I didn't know perfumes could smell like that. However, I am very disillusioned with the perfume industry, and I especially hate the way that they utilize social media to push their overpriced products (which have been getting more and more expensive!), especially to young people who lack the critical thinking to realize they're being advertised to.

"advertising doesn't work" the increase in scentbird ads and people talking about a "personal signature scent" directly correlates with my family's interest in perfumes. Even if they're not using scentbird, something probably changed to make them want perfumes more, right?

[motley-baby]

Get to know your mutuals

Thanks for the tag @evita-shelby

What's the origin of your blog title?

it is based on motley crüe´s (the band)

OTP(s) + shipname:

At the moment is Gale and John form MOTA.

Also Henry and Alex from R,W&RB.

My heart aches for men in love with men

Favorite color:

Burgundy, or cherry red

Song stuck in your head:

All i ever do by Adrien Nunez

Weirdest habit/trait:

i like this 1 treadmil at the gym and will be upset if someone is using it, i won´t say anything but it will most likely spoil the rest of my workout

Hobbies:

Reading, watching tv shows, sleeping, anything artsy

If you work, what's your profession?

Graphic designer, work at a school.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

Same thing that i do now but with a good salary

Something you're good at:

photograph, doing artsy stuff, swimming

Something you hate:

Breaking my routine x2, i hate being taken out of the little plan i had made in my head of how my day was going to go

Something you collect:

rocks, flowers, and keepsakes from travels

Something you forget:

a lot of things really

What's your love language:

gift giving

Favorite movie/show:

changes constantly, right now its still MOTA, before that, Gilmore girls, Friends, and HIMYM.

Favorite food:

mexican sushior the tacos that my family makes

Favorite animal:

Dogs in general. ps. don´t tell my cat i said that

What were you like as a child:

Quiet, 1D fan, bookworm

Favorite subject at school:

Anything, school was never an issue so i didn´t have a favorite class

Least favorite subject:

maybe something like ethics

What's your best character trait?

I love learning x2

What's your worst character trait?

procrastinator

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

my bf having a job in the same city as me

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

José aka jesus´step father. I hate that we know everything about mary but know nothing about the poor guy.

Or jack the ripper, i would love to know who tf was him.

[tehuti88-art]

10/4/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Oma (Granny) Jäger, Frau Jäger, and Herr Jäger (first names never given). They're the paternal grandmother and parents of Ludolf Jäger; they aren't from the character list, but they're starting to develop an important role in Jäger's backstory as I'm writing up his full bio, so I figured I'd draw them. (Jäger also has six older sisters but I don't know that I'll draw them yet.) Young Ludolf is especially close to his Oma, who teaches him the old ways (rather to his mother's dismay). There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding their design, they're late Victorian/Edwardian; Oma falls more under the former while Frau Jäger's big hair gives her away as Edwardian. They're all leucistic, not albino (white fur with blue eyes, not red).

TUMBLR EDIT: All righty! Having finished Dobermann's official profile (you can find it HERE), I decided on Major Jäger's next. Jäger's backstory first started to really reveal itself in his son Lars's entry. These art entries are based on what's been revealed so far in the in-progress bio, which is still in his childhood and subject to change. I suggest keeping an eye on HIS PAGE for future updates, though it takes me quite a while to finish them! These entries will be individualized to avoid repetition, though I have less info for Herr Jäger so far.

Please see Oma Jäger's entry for a bit of background and links.

I haven't much info on Frau Jäger yet; most of it pertains to her temperament. She's described as nervous and borderline hysterical, if we're talking about the old-timey psychological description--i. e., overly emotional in that particular feminine way, prone to fainting spells, wringing her hands and fretting a lot, often taking to her bed for "reasons." Granted, it probably doesn't help that she's rather younger than her husband, he's often away on business leaving her behind at home, and similar to her son Ludolf and his wife Magda later on, the two of them are...really quite active on the home front whenever Herr Jäger is available...so Frau Jäger spends a good deal of her time pregnant.

Her physical constitution isn't the best, especially after having given birth to a bunch of girls. Herr Jäger longs for a son yet they haven't been blessed yet. Oh, right...Frau Jäger is a pious, devoted Catholic. Which raises some complications when she and Herr Jäger meet and fall in love, because Herr Jäger ISN'T a pious Catholic, he's...a follower of the old gods. A literal heathen. And along with him comes his mother, a package deal, and she's a literal heathen too. Herr Jäger loves Frau Jäger (to be) enough to convert; this doesn't sit very well with the MIL, yet she accepts her son's choice, and moves in with them. Ever since, she does prove helpful, by caring for the gaggle of rambunctious girls whenever Frau Jäger can't handle them, so the two women live in grudging tolerance of each other.

All six daughters are born in relatively quick succession, yet a period of time then goes by in which the Jägers have no success conceiving any children at all. Frau Jäger grows fretful and despondent; Herr Jäger would never get upset with her over such a thing, yet she knows he's disappointed too. And his mother as well seems not too pleased about it, although Frau Jäger doesn't know why. ("She'd like a male heir to carry on the family name too, Liebe," Herr Jäger tells her one night when she asks. "For some reason it means a lot to her.") So, when Frau Jäger finally has to take to her bed again--nauseated and swollen and weepy and altogether miserable--she's also cautiously hopeful, as she felt just as f**king miserable the other six times she was with child. Her belly starts growing, and she prays for a boy.

Frau Jäger delivers two boys, Ludolf and Luitpold. Both boys are sick. She begs Oma Jäger for help. Oma does so...one son dies, yet one son lives...and the surviving, younger son, Luitpold, takes the older's name, and the Jägers welcome their first and only son, Ludolf. Ludolf is healthy...and starts following Oma's ways. Frau Jäger isn't thrilled about that, but she'd agreed to this if Oma would save him, so she bites her tongue.

As Ludolf's sisters are all rather older than he is, due to the gap in time in which Frau Jäger had no children, they fuss and fawn constantly over him, declaring him their little doll, dressing him up and playing with and cuddling him. Ludolf is a sedate, well-behaved baby and puts up with his sisters' adoration with no fuss of his own; they fortunately grow out of their interest in dolling him up like a toy, and as he enters toddlerhood Frau Jäger makes sure to order him the best suits from the tailor. Older sisters then take turns dressing him in his little sailor outfits, tying the ribbons in big perfect bows, smoothing the tallies over his shoulder, cooing and posing with him in their midst for the photographer, everyone keeping still, big smiles frozen on their faces until they're told they can relax. Ludolf doesn't mind. In fact he seems to relish being the center of attention, surrounded by and fussed over by young women.

He develops a fascination for the opera Der Ring Des Nibelungen, which feeds directly into the stories Oma teaches him ("That Herr Wagner," Oma sniffs, "he knows hardly half the story! Fantasies and makeup and stage props. Take it with a grain of salt, mein Liebchen!"--yet Ludolf adores the opera anyway, and likes running around the house and its environs, play-acting his favorite parts). Overall, his childhood is happy and loving and quite privileged.

Frau Jäger finds her son enjoying opera to be a far better and more appropriate pastime than traipsing off into the woods to get painted up and try to talk to heathen gods, so she doesn't complain about his interests, odd as they are for such a young boy. She spoils him the most of all her children; following the difficult birth, she doesn't conceive again, and she and Herr Jäger rather sadly conclude that Ludolf is likely to be their last. She's glad that at least she gave her husband a son to carry on the name, and it's fortunate that he's so well behaved because she would likely let him get away with anything. He always comes running in and hopping in the bed to say good morning when she's ill, and although she usually prefers to be left alone aside from her husband when keeping to her bed, she always greets Ludolf back with a tight hug. He's her perfect little prince who can do no wrong.

And given how often Herr Jäger is away from home, Ludolf spends most of his time around all girls--sisters, mother, grandmother--and I guess you really could call him a mother's boy. He becomes quite skilled at reading women's moods, figuring out what they want, learning how to interact with them...and especially, learning how to manipulate them without them even knowing. The only one who catches on is Oma...who gives him tips on how to do it, while advising him to be cautious how he uses this skill: "You can build up or you can tear down, mein Liebchen, so it's up to you to decide which you wish to be--a creator or a destroyer? Would you rather forge a bond or break it? Both are useful, both can be overdone--moderation in everything--just remember that teaching from your mother's church: 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.' Every woman you raise up is your sister, your mother, me; and every woman you might choose to use and cast down, the same. Good or bad, you do it to us all. Act wisely." Ludolf promises to be careful with how he uses his skills. He'll do the right thing.

Ludolf is the model child, son, student, teenager; always well behaved, polite, intelligent, genteel. Frau Jäger is hopeful he'll go places as he's good at everything he chooses to do. She doesn't expect him to take the path of soldier, but then again, she doesn't believe, until it actually happens, that Germany will go to war again so soon. Ludolf comes to his parents one day with the news that he's applied to join the Waffen-SS; he missed the first war but he's old enough now to do his part. Frau Jäger bursts into tears; why, why, why does he need to "do his part," he owes no one anything, why can't he just stay home and start a family? Herr Jäger has different questions; why this "Waffen-SS," why not the army? Something about it feels off. Ludolf unsuccessfully tries to console his mother, then explains that he's looked into the SS's principles and they seem to align with his; it just feels right, he can't explain otherwise. His father bites down the rest of his protests, knowing he can't change his mind, though Ludolf's sisters fall upon him, weeping their eyes out and begging him to reconsider.

Oma waits until the girls have cried themselves out and moved on to speak to him. She asks him about this Waffen-SS, who they are, if they truly stand for what they say. What does he really know about them? Are they genuine? Ludolf mentions their lightning bolt symbol, reminiscent of the god Donar--"It's like a sign, Oma, don't you see?"--then rattles off a list of their beliefs and principles. Oma's expression grows a bit more sour with each comment; she finally interjects: "That all looks nice on the page, mein Liebchen, but how is it in practice? Remember what I told you about Herr Wagner's opera--fantasies and makeup and stage props. Anyone can put on a fancy suit and carry a sword and call himself a knight. Doesn't make him one. How do you know these men mean what they teach?--or that they even understand the old ways they claim they follow? Something just feels odd about this, Liebchen...twisted around...and I think you should look deeper before you act." (NOTE that this account I'm giving here contradicts details in Lars Jäger's entry about Oma's reaction. That's just how a developing story goes. I can still imagine her urging him to follow his souls, though.)

Then, wonder of wonders--"Ja, ja, Liebe!" Frau Jäger exclaims, drawing both Ludolf's and Oma's attention. She steps forward, wringing her hands earnestly. "Listen to your Oma! Who are these people, even?--how do you know they're all they say? An army that's not the army? What is this? The Heer is perfectly respectable if you absolutely must join, why choose...whoever these people are? How do you know they're for real...?"

Oma actually blinks--it's a rare occasion indeed when Frau Jäger agrees with her. Yet Ludolf does something rather out of character for him: He pulls himself up with a rather offended expression, and slices his hand through the air--"Enough!" he says, in a dismissive tone of finality--"I've made up my mind. I love you both, I do, and I treasure your opinions, yet you're wrong here. That's it, that's final--I won't discuss it further. If you won't accept my decision I guess we just have to disagree."

Both women are left rather nonplussed...Ludolf's never stood up to them before, he's always let them have their way, yet here we are. He pretty much grows up in that instant, no longer their baby boy Ludolf, but adult Jäger, heading off to training and then the front soon. Frau Jäger tries to appeal to her husband to reason with him but Herr Jäger, like Oma, knows there'll be no convincing him, they have to let him go. Frau Jäger heads to her bed to weep. Someone comes in a while later and sits on the bed, placing a hand on her arm; thinking it's her husband, she touches his hand, only to realize it's actually Oma. She's too surprised, and grief stricken over Ludolf's decision, to react with dismay. She slowly pushes herself up. "Why won't he listen to me?" she cries. Oma replies, "Little boys grow up, and suddenly think they don't need us women anymore. All we can do is see them off with love. And pray for the best." Frau Jäger's eyes fill up; "I know we don't..." she starts to say, falters, then says, "Would you...would you pray with me? For him? Even though it's not the same." Oma says, "The words all go to the same place," and holds open her hand; Frau Jäger clasps it and they bow their heads in silence.

The Jägers uneasily watch the war unfold. Jäger is accepted into the Waffen-SS--his pedigree is immaculate--and completes his training; he returns home to see his family again before he has to head off to the Eastern Front, where the Reich is fighting their erstwhile allies, the Soviets. A photographer the Jägers hired for the occasion takes some shots of the family. His sisters fawn over his dapper new uniform yet quickly grow teary eyed; the youngest hugs him tight and begs him to be careful around those treacherous communists. Herr Jäger and Oma are stoic in their farewells, his father wishing him well, his grandmother urging him to remember "the true old ways, not these contrived stage directions for a bunch of actors" (Herr Jäger gently squeezes her arm to quiet her when spotting the sour look that flits across Jäger's face). Frau Jäger hugs him long and tight; "Come home to us," she whispers in his ear, "that's all I have left to ask of you, dear Ludolf, I already almost lost you once, please just come home to us," and at a touch from her husband has to let him go, wiping tears from her eyes. Jäger says his goodbyes to everyone before departing, promising to keep in touch.

Not long after, Herr Jäger calls the family together: The war, and the current political atmosphere, are simply too dangerous for them to remain where they are. He's secured passports for everyone, and has been negotiating for a home outside Germany. He can't ensure that it'll be their final stop, as the Reich is seizing new territory left and right, what's outside the bounds of the German Empire might be a part of it the next day; he'd like to keep ahead of the Reichsadler's reach. While Oma and Frau Jäger don't care for the Reich's principles too much themselves, Herr Jäger's extreme decision perplexes them, yet, like Jäger, he refuses to be swayed to stay; "They aren't coming for us, nein," he says, "yet who's to say that someday they won't?" He says he'll write to their son, make sure he knows where they're headed, so he can choose to follow them at some future point or at least be able to remain in communication with them; he waits until receiving a return letter, Jäger letting them know he understands their desire to leave, yet he's staying where he is. He wishes them the best, and tells them he loves them.

Frau Jäger covers her face and cries. She cries the entire time they pack their belongings and shutter the big mountain house; a groundskeeper will look after it for now, in case Jäger decides to return to it or else sell it. Neither her daughters nor her husband can console her, and Oma is just about as gloomy to say goodbye to their old home, complaining that the land and the rocks and trees will be different where they go, it'll be like talking to strangers. They book passage on the best train available, the girls ooh'ing and ahh'ing over all the sights they pass by, though Frau Jäger spends most of the trip in her sleeping bunk, bundled up in thick blankets and shut off from the world. Her heart is broken for her homeland and her son...she weeps and prays the entire trip, hoping so much they'll all be a family again someday.

Jäger stays in touch throughout the war, though his letters are sporadic. His parents are overjoyed when he mentions finding a wife and settling down to start his own family. Their hopes of him joining them someday start to fade, however, when the war takes a bad turn for Germany. The tone of the letters grows erratic and strange, and finally furtive--almost paranoid--Herr Jäger privately expresses concern about their son's mental wellbeing. He'd always read or summarized the letters for his wife; she gets hold of them one day while he's away and reads them for herself. She's appalled by just how unhinged Jäger has been sounding in his more recent messages; when she shows the letters to Oma, begging to know if she's the only one sho sees it, Oma purses her lips. "Fantasies and makeup and stage props," she murmurs disapprovingly; "I warned the boy not to fall for a bunch of actors, but who am I to him, now...? Just a silly old woman." She obviously has more thoughts on the matter, but refrains from sharing them; yet it's clear to Frau Jäger that she's worried.

Jäger's cryptic final letter toward the end of the war, in which he mentions needing to leave with his family yet doesn't say where--"I know they'll be looking for us"--just tries to reassure them he'll be all right--"Don't worry for me, meine Lieben, we'll be fine, the great glorious new world is coming! Heil Wotan! Heil Donar!"--seems to confirm their fears that something is amiss...and then come the scattered rumors of the Alpine Fortress and what exactly happened there. Jäger doesn't end up a casualty of the war, as Frau Jäger had feared he would...he ends up a casualty of his own deluded beliefs, and takes his entire family with him. In the blink of an eye, there go the hopes and aspirations of the family line.

Frau Jäger's heart is broken. "My son, my sweet son," she sobs, curled up in her bed; "He was supposed to live. Why? Why...?" She dozes off and has a dream of little Ludolf in his sailor suit hopping into the bed to give her a big hug--"Love you, Mama!"--and her heart breaks anew when she snaps awake and realizes he's never coming back. Herr Jäger isn't much good at consoling her; he has to keep tending to his business, and when he sits beside her in the evenings he's at a loss for things to say. Their daughters are all lost in their own sad worlds, mourning their baby brother, their little doll.

Time goes on, life goes on. One by one the Jäger daughters find husbands, start families. Frau Jäger pulls herself from her bed and forces herself through the motions of tending to the house, greeting the new grandchildren, welcoming new family members under the roof. She loves all the new babies, coddles all the new children...yet in the back of her head is always a deep sadness...none of them are Jägers, none of them are her son's children who died with him, none of them are her perfect little prince. Her eyes fill with tears yet again. If only it had been true, that he could do no wrong.

See also Oma Jäger's entry and Herr Jäger's entry.

[Frau Jäger [‎Friday, ‎October ‎4, ‎2024, ‏‎12:02:17 AM]]

[somewhereinthepines]

smth to think about.

this is part of personal notes, + some trimming of newer notices/hcs there and here. so it’s safe to say, that i have a noticeable pref, when it comes to shipping dynamics in the dark picture’s games, but it’s still pretty interesting how ‘leveled’ both of those ‘pairs’ are, as a part of general narrative. 

they have a lot in common. even if the timeline/reincarnation theory isn’t something, that the creators were going with, there are still a lot of similarities between john & dar. and then, there is an interesting tendency, when you compare their ‘soft’ companions/the better half, andrew & salim. which is a subject, that i will ran my mouth about here! this isn’t an analysis per say, but might be considered such if one wants it to be. otherwise, it’s just personal thoughts and notices. 

misleading guidance ;

so, john & dar are technically put in powers from the start. such as john being the professor & andrew his student; dar being a captain & salim being his lieutenant. it’s up to the player just how far their obedience will go, but the natural build of this was basically presented as: ‘final boy’ & their superior. why final boy? bc both, andrew and salim can die only near the very end. and while dar’s death is scripted and therefore can’t be changed, john’s death can be determined and it’s possible and most likely for him to be andrew’s last remaining companion, even if one picks 'everybody dies’ route. what also matters here, is that ending for both salim & andrew can change depending on if they followed along with every offer/command, that was given to them by dar & john. in both cases, blind obedience can lead salim & andrew to joining their superior, respectively by getting shot by rachel/andrew (anthony) shooting himself. and it’s also while small something, still something nonetheless. 

this shows a curious little mechanism, that gets triggered, when you allow ‘the demon on your shoulder’ directly influence your gameplay. it’s out of question, if dar / john think that this is what’s the best, bc they do, they really do. but the game itself doesn’t want to give the player an easy way out, and while they establish both salim & andrew guidance from the start, it should be measured by you, personally, how ‘right’ it is to just follow along with dar / john’s ideas each time. it has more plot-connected weight in john/andrew dynamic, bc john is also the main character. while in salim’s case, most of his choices, when it comes to obeying/disobeying dar don’t have as much result. they affect smaller parts, and mostly tied to the development of salim’s personality in specific gameplay, rather than him actively influencing other characters. 

john can indirectly kill or help to kill off the rest of the cast (even andrew & himself to some extent), when dar can only influence eric’s fate, and indirectly nick’s (by wounding him), to a degree salim’s as well. it make sense, though. bc the main tie of dar / john always be salim / andrew, and their main interest is always stated plain and clear, as they only care about their only well-being and well-being of their companion (even if to somewhat smaller amount lol). john pretty easily shrugs off the death of his other students, but keeps saying, that he and andrew need to stick together, and that he will make sure, that both of them will get out of here. and dar would still make sure, that salim would get free, if jason & nick had captured him, no matter how low/cool their relationships are. to degre, john / dar designed in a way, that would ‘protect’ the ‘final boy’, and also attempt to unconsciously mislead them from time to time. 

but as controlling, pushy and basically, plainly states dismissive/selfish as dar / john were in some of their stubborn decisions, there was always a ‘softer spot’, that they saved for salim / andrew. it’s less noticeable with dar, duo to how non-bullshit he is at times, but the very thing, that he doesn’t outright shoot salim on the spot, in route, where he rebels against him, says something. or the fact, that it was implied that no matter what route it is, that part of dar’s main objective (beside killing the americans) was to find salim. 

it’s up to the player, if they wanna stick with dar / john’s guidance all the way, but dar / john would be sticking with salim / andrew either way. their narrative is heavily intertwined with choices, that the other two make. and they’re there to make picking those choices ever harder lol. 

the presence/lack of power dynamic ;

as we know, salim & andrew as unspoken, ‘main protagonists’, that basically drag the narrative forward. the way they see the situation is prob the closer to how the player might see it. andrew is concosed and to a degree, he has to rely on john. meanwhile, on a more grounded level, salim has to follow the suit, bc he and dar are on the same side, and technically surrendered by the enemy. trusting them seems like the most ‘oblivious’ decision to a degree. but…it’s not fully ‘correct one’. 

dar / john can successfully feed the distrust, antagonism in salim / andrew, when it comes to the games ‘main enemy’, which till some time, remains established as the americans / mary. they can feed it to an extent, where salim can shoot eric/wound jason, basing his response on fear (rightfully so btw) in face of what the americans would/could do to him. and then, andrew can choose john’s side on the whole witch trial issue, and decide that mary is at fault for everything. 

yet. the power dynamic is probably, where dar/salim and john/andrew have a very big difference. in LH, it’s not set in stone, and john would back off, if andrew would ask him to. meanwhile, in hofa, dar would most likely push and push, until salim would do what he wants or do it himself, and ignore all the arguments, that salim has on his side. both john and dar are technically in a position of power, but only dar actively uses it and can even abuse it, if he sees fit. esp bc where john has lawful and personal limitations, considering how far he can go, dar doesn’t have such things. his hands aren’t tied at how ‘far’ he can take the punishment, when someone disobeys him and his personality, seems to be one of the ruthless and cold circle. john most likely have grey-ish moral, aka ‘at extremes, what works, that works’ and dar is more of radical in nature, so it make sense, that his moral is partly tied up to cicustemses/the actual state of iraq during that time, including 80-90x. while john thinks that he’s right, dar sort of ‘knows’, that he’s right. and where andrew can actually be on ‘lawful’ side of disobedience and thinking with his own head, salim technically isn’t allowed to do the same. 

so, yeah, considering all of this, the power dynamic exists mostly only in hofa. dar can invoke his position of power via ‘rules’ of the narrative even, like a grounded level of it. where john is just well, john is too much of a pushover, when it comes to andrew, so technically, his ‘influence’ on him is questionable, and in most cases, depends on andrew’s behavior. and on how many times in the row, andrew agrees with him. 

yet, out of all the characters dar / salim and john / andrew have similar odd thing, when salim / andrew play around with titles and then switch back to name bases. it’s pretty casual, but i love how salim jumps from calling dar ‘captain’ to calling him by his name, as well as revealing hints, that they have a lot of familiarity between them, despite the difference in ranks. andrew, on other hand, uses ‘professor’ when referring to john, way more often, than other students, but he also easily skips back to calling john by his name as well. though, out of all the students for andrew the title of ‘professor’ must have more heavy and personal weight, same as for salim, where dar is being his captain. like remember the bit about dar / john being placed as ‘guide’, well, it comes back to this. esp considering, that you can low-key make andrew / salim into a nervewreck, into a cynical paranoiac. which is also why it would make sense for them to keep closer to a person like john / dar, who would give him directions. but titles are part of power dynamic, so the way they twist it and play with it’s a quite nice little touch. 

it might have happened before ;

something, that i can’t quite unthink, is a notice that my friend brought to my attention. mainly, this picture. 

it makes me wonder, if following the reincarnation/different timeline theory, dar / john, a person who basically can be considered as them (including james and others), are kind of stuck in loop, of being a part of the military. not every time, but repeatedly being stuck in the position of lieutenant or captain. and funny enough, we saw something similar in the man of medan, where one of the sergeants was anthony’s older model. and considering, the time period it makes sense for him to be there, if he’s the same person (andrew), who was in the picture, but younger. then, we also got daniel, in the said picture above. and also in the man of medan. and then, even in the hofa. 3 times in the row, he presented as part of military. ah, and jason too. he was in the man of medan as well. and tbh, he also can be one of the other man on the side. which would make it pretty ironic, if he had to fight against his once fallen commander in another time life (jason vs dar). 

in this part, salim doesn’t have much placement lol. bc it’s sorta implied, that john & andrew met repeatedly, around time, when john is 40-43 and andrew around 18-20. and while it’s not stated anywhere or even was shown, i do hc, that john met andrew as dar. possibly, he even was the one who had killed him.

then, if alt timeline, and john was actually real, it’s not all that impossible, that he and salim wouldn’t have crossed ways at least once. esp with john being a college professor. 

the dark pictures give an easter eggs with ref to their other games, be it a future ones or already existing, but i wonder, if they will eventually make this connected universe, even more complicated, than it was presented so far. i mean, an aliens are basically were established there, as well, as hints on witchcraft...what’s next? and would be it all that crazy, if alt timelines/reincarnations be a thing there too? 

[depressing-debbie]

Could you do the fluff alphabet for Armin? My favorite :) Loved eren's by the way

Aw I'm glad you liked it! Absolutely <3 

I had a lot of fun with this, but it’s very much unedited, so... yeah, hopefully it’s alright!

POST Time Skip as always

Fluff Alphabet: Armin

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He plans absolutely adorable little dates, like picnics or hikes. He also loves taking his SO to museums and art galleries, especially if it’s something they’re really interested in. He already has plenty of knowledge on the subject, and he definitely did some research before they left, so he’s fully prepared to point out every little detail and explain the meaning behind everything as they go. Most of all, though, he just likes getting to be with his SO, so he also loves lazy afternoons sitting and reading together.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Armin thinks absolutely everything about his SO is stunning. He loves the way they carry themselves when they’re confident, the way their face crinkles when they laugh, the sparkle in their eyes when they talk about their interests: they’re just perfect. 

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Look no further, everybody, because we’ve found the most comforting man on the earth. His first instinct when his SO is upset is to make sure their surroundings are comfortable, meaning he’ll make sure to take them somewhere quiet if they are in public, or he’ll find lots of blankets and pillows. Then he’ll sit with them, letting them rest their head on his chest while he traces little circles into their hair. If they want to talk about it, he’s down. If they need space, he’s already out the door, checking on them once in a while with some water. But if they just want him there, he won’t leave their side.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He’s really happy thinking about the future, even though it’s not necessarily specific. He loves the idea of building some sort of life with his SO and getting to spend it together. There’s no specific idea in his head of what that looks like, so he’d be happy no matter what as long as they’re together.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

It’s entirely equal. He’s an absolute gentleman, but he doesn’t believe in the way society enforces roles on a relationship. Him and his SO are a team, and they work together in their relationship.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He really hates fighting, and he doesn’t really initiate a fight ever. And, unless it’s something really serious, he would be quick to find a compromise and make up. But, even if it is serious, even though he might be a bit hurt, he still wouldn’t want to fight. They’re a team, and that team is built on a foundation of solid communication, so he’d want to have a genuine conversation rather than just yell at each other. The last thing he wants is for either of them to get their feelings hurt accidentally.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is so incredibly grateful for his SO, and he makes sure they know it. He appreciates them and everything they do, so even if it makes him uncomfortable, he expresses it as often as he can.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

There are no secrets in his relationship. You can’t be a team if you’re not on the same page, and he doesn’t see any reason why he would want to hide things anyway. He would respect if there are things his SO just doesn’t want to talk about, especially if it’s something very personal, but his goal will be to make sure they know they can feel comfortable talking to him. 

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Armin is a pretty reserved person, and he has a lot of self doubt and general anxiety. But, he feels so much more confident and relaxed around his SO; they’ve helped him to become more comfortable with himself and his interactions in general. He can also forget his own worries instantly when it comes to protecting them, which shows him that he is capable of overcoming that fear. He embraces the sense of security they give him, and he allows himself to open up a bit more.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He doesn’t get jealous often, but he does have some self doubt that gets in the way. It’s not that he would blame his SO or accuse them of anything, he just gets a bit insecure. It’s also not hard for his SO to notice, and all he really needs is a few words of assurance and comfort to relax.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Alright, unfortunately, their first kiss was so awkward. Armin was absolutely terrified of messing up, and he probably rambled when he asked if he could kiss them. It was honestly pretty cute, though, the way that he blushed, then got all smiley afterwards. He’s able to relax with it over time, and after a while, he’s a really good kisser. He probably gives his SO a little kiss as a greeting each time he sees them, and he’s absolutely a tiny butterfly kisses kind of guy :)

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Okay, so if we’re talking about how he asked them out, he was SO awkward. His friends had to hype him up for like two weeks, and he definitely rambles when he’s uncomfortable, so it took him forever to actually get the words out. He absolutely did it in person, though, and it was pretty sweet. But, if we’re talking about the first time he said that he loved them, it was more relaxed. He just looked over at his SO one day and though about how amazing they are and how lucky he is, so he told them, and it came out as “I love you”. He was pretty embarrassed afterwards, but he definitely didn’t regret it, especially after they said it back.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I think it depends pretty heavily on his partner, and he’d be happy either way. He doesn’t rely on a piece of paper to show that they care about each other, so if they don’t want to, he’d be happy. But, if they do want to get married, he would be so excited. He would definitely plan the most thoughtful proposal, in a private place that holds some kind of meaning for the two of them, and it would be so cute. Their wedding would be stunning, he definitely has an eye for design. There wouldn’t be a big difference between dating and married life, just more excuse to be happy together.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He has so many cute little nicknames for them. Definitely calls them “love”, or “sweetheart” when they’re upset. But mainly, his nicknames are super creative and meaningful to the two of them. If his SO speaks a second language, he did some research and came up with a nickname in that language. They probably also reference their inside jokes, so it makes no sense to anyone else, which just makes it that much more special.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s sooo obvious when Armin is in love. He gets embarrassed every time someone brings up his SO, and he keeps getting caught smiling and staring off into space. He expresses his feelings to his SO in every way can, whether that’s through little acts of service, homemade gifts, extra soft kisses, or just flat out saying that he loves them. He never wants them to feel like he doesn’t appreciate them completely and utterly, so he goes out of his way to make sure they know how he feels.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He’s really uncomfortable with PDA, at most, he would probably hold his SO’s hand or rest his hand on their back. Otherwise, he just gets super embarrassed and flustered. He doesn’t mind talking about their relationship, though, especially with people he trusts. He’s not going to brag or share specific details, but he enjoys getting to talk about the person he loves, and he’s honestly happy that people know they’re together.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

This is very random, but he has an endless supply of cozy sweaters and sweatshirts, lots of which are oversized, and he LOVES when his SO steals them. Every time he catches them wearing his clothes, it makes him sooo happy. They’re the coziest couple on the planet.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s incredibly romantic, but not in the traditional way. He just doesn’t understand the cliche romantic gestures and sayings, and he would so much rather come up with his own way of expressing his appreciation for his SO and making them happy. It’s much more personal, and he puts so much thought into all of it.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Armin is completely and utterly supportive; he is his SO’s number one supporter. In his eyes, there is literally nothing they cannot accomplish, and he will do whatever he can to help them get there. If they’re hesitant to pursue something they’re passionate about, he is going to encourage them to have faith in themselves and chase after it, no matter what, because he believes in them completely. And if there’s any way he can help them reach their goals, he’s all ears.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Probably a mix of both. They probably have a routine of some kind set, and he appreciates the peace and stability of that. But, he also loves getting to add to his list of new experiences that the two of them have shared. He loves learning and seeing new things, and especially when he gets to share them with his SO, it makes him really happy.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows them incredibly well. He can predict their reactions in different situations, and he can almost always tell how they’re feeling. It’s entirely due to how clearly they communicate, and the way that he observes everything around him. He took note at the start of their relationship of what makes them happy and what upsets them, and he knows so much about them. He can empathize so well because of this.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is very important to him. His SO means a lot to him, and he’s definitely started to build his routine around them, especially if they’ve been together for a while. He doesn’t really enter relationships without being serious about it, that’s just not his style, so it really is meaningful to him. 

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

When he doesn’t get to see his SO for a while, they carve out time in their next meeting to just talk. They get nice and cozy together, and they just spent an hour or two talking about everything they can think of, how their week went, what crazy book they’re reading, some new fact about something they’re interested in, whatever they want to share with each other. Armin loves getting to talk about the things he’s learned and what’s happening in his life, but more than that, he absolutely adores hearing his SO talk about things they’re passionate about. He loves the way their eyes light up and their voice becomes animated. He could just sit there, in their arms, listening to them talk for hours.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s very affectionate! Nowhere else does he feel as safe as he does in his SO’s arms, and he loves getting to be close to them. They definitely take naps together after a long day, and he loves to cuddle while they read. If they’re working or sitting together, he’ll rest his head on theirs, giving them tiny kisses on top of their head, or he’ll let them curl up into his side and run his hand gently up and down their back. He loves feeling like he can protect them.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He really hates when his SO is gone for a long time just because their routines are so intertwined, so he’s constantly reminded of their absence. He probably spends more time with his friends and writes down things he wants to tell his SO when they return, which relaxes him.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Armin is the best example of going to great lengths in a relationship. Anything he can do to make his SO happy and keep everything going well, he is more than happy to do. He absolutely communicates with his partner to see what they need, and what they think the relationship needs, and they’ll work together to make sure they are satisfied. His relationship and his SO mean the world to him, so he would definitely do whatever he can for them.

[macaronnya]

Fresh(?) Impressions (8)

Other parts: |Trickstar| |UNDEAD| |2wink| |Ra*bits| |Akatsuki| |fine| |Ryuseitai| |Knights| |Valkyrie| |Switch| |MaM/Double Face/Crazy:B| |Eden| |Alkaloid|

----------------------------------------------

Hello Enstarries~☆ Another day another post. I'm trying to speed up the process. This time, I'm gonna rate our beloved and chivalrous unit Knights. It's one of my favourites for now so I'm excited to talk about them! Btw since it's been already quite a while, I just wanted to remind y'all again, that I only know random bits of infos out of context and their Ep.1 in the new game. Therefore, my opinions are probably very mmdnmmhnhmhmfkdlsisojdöshhfksa y'know?

DISCLAIMER!: Everything said here is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to attack anyone. This is not an accurate description of any characters but my subjective rambling for fun, so please don't take it too seriously. (Just to be safe, I'm kinda scared of elite idol fans) Also, you will hear me mention other games a bunch of times bc I'm that bad and uncreative at explaining and I'm still grieving A3!EN's shutdown. Eng is my 2nd (or 3rd?) language so there might be some weird grammar or spelling mistakes. And I write at 3 am usually.

Without further ado.....Let's Ensemble!☆

----------------------------------------------

I'm not a Knights-P.....BUT I'm very close to being one. I'm enamoured with most of their songs. Like, yeah some songs are rather meh but those that hit, hit H A R D.

Mystic Fragrance literally grabbed me by the ankle and dragged me into the hole that is Enstars. The MV? Literally perfect and heavenly. I'm no expert on choreography or film production but everyone and everything was just so damn beautiful, clean, sleek, elegant, I watched that video more than I'd like to admit. And the song itself??? Just 😭👌👌👌👌👌 Ok, this isn't a love letter to 1 song but the group, so I should continue. But just reeaal quick, I also love Little Romance and Knights the Phantom Thief to death.

Now, their costumes and theme. I really like it! It is once again the case of everyone having small differentiations here and there, like their gloves and shoes. Overall, I love the simple but refined design. Especially these "noble vests" tend to be overfilled with patterns, ornaments etc in anime and webtoons but that's not the case here. The medal is a nice touch. And the striped pants add a bit smth more loud to the else quiet design. Everything is just on point for the idea of loyal Knights, that serve us fans.

From what I've seen, their dancing is also refined and chic. And maybe it's just that one song but the flower formation and how the center is switched in the chorus in Mystic Fragrance was just so genius and beautiful! The characters on the other hand....well, I haven't seen too much of them as a group yet compared to other units. So it's harder to make up my mind about them.

8.5/10 - I realized after writing everything, that the music is doing A LOT of work

Tsukasa Suou

We aren't related, so why does he address us as "big sister"? That's like the 2nd time we got adopted as a sibling, no? Well, from what I've seen, he is another heir to an influential family and...reminds me a bit of Riddle (Twisted Wonderland). Very diligent, wants to be mature, so that he won't be underestimated, workaholic. Lowkey seems like a teacher's pet. For some reason, I thought he was more pretentious and the like but he seems relatively normal. Is he half-english or why does he use english sometimes? And like, not the words that naturally wormed their way into the japanese language due to globalisation. Good on the localisation team on HIGHLIGHTING those words in bold btw. They could have just ignored it or changed it to french, the typical approach to such cases, where characters speak english in pieces as a gimmick. But they didn't. It's a bit funny and cringe to hear him say it. But I'm sure he'll get better someday. Practice makes perfect! That's how thing go.

5/10 - not a lot to say about him

Leo Tsukinaga

Uchu~⭐ It's the nth member of the DRAMA club! Ngl, I understood his Ep.1 in the sense of getting what he means to say but having his words fly all over my head. I bet he's really good friends with Wataru. Good for him though! You'll never have to worry about having an awkward silence with him. Probably suffers from waking up and immediately writing his ideas down, that came from his dreams. I remember somewhere, that he really likes the 🌠 S P A C E 🌌 but I'm not too sure about that anymore. Either has some fucked up trauma in his backstory or is just like that. Highly doubt the latter though. People can be terrible and there's no way he wasn't bullied or didn't suffer from high expectations. His voice sounds like gummy bears. Very squishable and colorful and jumpy. Definitely very different to Itaru's (A3!) and Samatoki's (Hypnosis Mic). I also thinks he's very messy but always knows where all his pencils, notebooks etc. are.

6/10 - coffee would drink HIM to get energized

Izumi Sena

On the very fine line of being a tsundere and a complete jerk except he has already fallen of the rope to the latter side but his one (1) foot is on the other side. Ik he's very mean to Arashi but man...I didn't expect him to be this hot n' cold. He's the stereotype of women saying the opposite of what they mean. Maybe I'll warm up to him after I learned his language but he's so needlessly bitchy 🤦‍♀️ Does he have friends? Tori on the other hand looks like an angel, not that he's been so terrible in the first place. Izumi's voice was smth to get used to bc it was so....nasal? It's not bad or anything, I just never heard a voice like that. I h a t e to admit it but he does sing very well and it's understandable, that he's a model 😫 *sigh* He would make the perfect male lead in a romance story. The famous idol, who is the biggest tsundere ever and lowkey highkey toxic and is pretentious but unfortunately has the skills to back it up, falls in love with little ol' normal producer and.... y'know the rest. Totally wears mildly strong expensive cologne, designer clothes and eats 5$ toasts.

2/10 - if I could, I'd throw tomatoes at him every day

Ritsu Sakuma

Sssssllllleeeeepppppyyyyy~~~~~ What a mood™️ And a foodie as well! He must have a very good metabolism and/or work out a lot to maintain such a slim figure, though I guess the latter is to be expected from an idol. He would hate me for this but he does have a similar vibe to his big bro. It's probably the bedroom eyes. And his mysterious? air. Though he does look cuter! His hairstyle reminds me of 🍄 and 🌰. I think he's the most relatable person I've met yet here. You work to live and not the other way around. It's good to be enthusiastic about your job but at the expense of your health makes it toxic. Quite a number of people might need to hear this. He's chill, probably both in personality and body temperature, if he's an actual vampire, he's likely low-maintenance and just seems down to earth. Not that nobody is until now. But Ritsu is kinda just a chill teenage boy. No big dreams or revenge he wishes to enact. I heard he even has some falling out with a friend or smth. Very normal and real. Dude is just living. He has a very soft and pretty voice.

8/10 - i wonder if he has soft cheeks....

Arashi Narukami

Q U E E N 👑 period. I don't wanna throw out empty words but I think she's perfect! She has such a beautiful and melodic voice, it's like a fresh spring breeze. Her "Mou~ 😣" sounds so cute as well! Idk what it is but smth about her violet eyes just go perfectly with her blond and brown hair. Idk man she's just very lovely. Very terrible, that she's not taken seriously by most people, even some of her own unit members bc of her gender orientation. At least, that's what I've heard. I haven't seen anything like that yet. She wishes to have a cuter image but I think she already has the perfect mix of cool & cute. Seems like a very considerate and relatively optimistic person. Her character song is literally 🥰😭💞❤💎👒☀️🍰⚘🎀💍 Has a rather minimalistic chic wardrobe but as I said, it makes her look very cool. Idk nor do I care how tall she is, I can and will give her a bear hug and kiss her forehead and pat her lovingly an-

10/10 - i'm excited and lowkey scared to get to know her more

----------------------------------------------

Conclusion

I you haven't noticed, I ❤ everything about Knights except its members but that's just bc I don't know them very well yet. Except Izumi, he can go eat trash (I'm so sorry Izumi stans). Very very VERY looking forward to new songs to play and to get to know them better. I WILL spend a lot of gems on the Mystic Fragrance event and that's undebatable.

That's it for today, I hope you somehow enjoyed my ramblings. If you wanna share some thoughts, everything goes as long as it's harmless and remember it's just for fun! Until next part~☆

[artisqueer]

RetroBangBoy AU - My Time, Finale (ao3)

Word Count: 6.8k

Pairings: Jungkook x reader, OT7 x reader, ft namkook, namjin, taekook.

Warnings: Language, brief mentions of violence, death and alcohol.

“…oh yes, so pretty, Dear. Whoever receives this must be very special,” the old woman says as she wraps a small item for one of your classmates.

You peer over their shoulder to get a look. It’s a marbly bracelet. Each glass bead resembles a colorful beach stone, with one long pendant carved in the shape of a crescent moon. It's very pretty and must hold great significance. The classmate bows to the woman and turns around to leave.

Your eyes meet.

“Jungkook??”

His widened eyes match yours twice over.

Jungkook is on this trip too? But he’s a greaser…How did I not see this one coming!

  Field Observation #6: You are not doing a good job avoiding boy drama, Bighead.

 “Hi, big—I mean, Y/N…” Jungkook stammers. A camellia-hue blushes at his round cheeks as he moves aside for you to set your items on the counter. He drops his gaze down to his shoes and his long hair falls over his face.

The tone of surprise in your voice echoes in your ears. You cringe at yourself, hoping Jungkook didn’t notice and take offense. It just never occurred to you that Jungkook is the academic type. You round off the reasons in your head. He’s a greaser and rides in Joon’s motorcycle gang, you’ve never shared a class or seen him study, he’s always dressed like a punk and has skipped every school event ever, and, and… when you went on that date to the drive-in movie he never mentioned school. You get a flashback of him making out with the french fries and drinking two chocolate milkshakes. He had no interest in you at all.

Did he really keep this persona from you? That he’s so… cool?

The lady looks from you to Jungkook and back to you, very clearly enticed by the tension. You scramble out of the awkwardness, trying to make light talk. Jin made it so easy.

“How have you been? I didn’t see you on the bus earlier or else I would have—" you ramble on, quickly paying for your items.

“It’s OK. I tend to lay low. I was in the back…on the bus, I mean. Rode here with Tae, actually.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

The old woman slides a small card across the counter. “For the ring, Dear,” she gestures to the small ring in your hand and smiles at you both tenderly. “It’s from the future, so use it well.” She gives you a wink. (mood rings first appeared in 1970)

You tuck the small card into your jacket pocket along with your tangerines and slide the ring onto your middle finger. You both bow to the old woman and walk out of Yeongjusan House with your souvenirs in tow. Once outside, the ring changes color from amber to yellow.

“Oh, you rode with Tae? Is that…OK?” you pose curiously.

“What, because we’re into different subcultures?” he chuckles from behind his messy long hair. His voice is always so quiet speaking to you like if he used his full volume he could break something, or someone. “Pfft, Bighead really,” he continues, “I wonder how you even got nominated for this retreat.” He laughs as he runs away. You make to playfully hit his arm but miss as he pulls away with excellent reflexes, giggling behind his tiny travel bag while you gawk at the size of his arms. There’s no way. What do greasers, eat??? It’s like their muscles just pop out at the most inconvenient times, like right now.  

“I thought greasers and jocks hate each other. It’s kind of the point. Having different class backgrounds and all…” You kick some tall grass.

“That’s a stereotype, Bighead. Just because an ideology is popular in a group doesn’t mean we all believe it. Tae isn’t like most jocks, he’s…different.” Jungkook’s smile seems to be the only thing visible behind his shaggy rockabilly.

“So you guys are…friends?” You ask hesitantly.

“I guess,” he plays with his tattooed fingers. “He’s been helping me with a project, so we’ve been hanging out a lot lately. But,” he pouts, “my gang doesn’t really know.”

“About the project or Taehyung?”

“Well, both,” he laughs nervously, “it’s a bit complicated.” He rubs the back of his neck again, and you notice the pulsing veinery dancing from his knuckles up to his forearms. Damn.

He doesn’t seem ready to talk about it. You clear your throat and change the subject. “Well, we have half an hour before the next group activity. Want a tangerine? It’s grown locally! ” You chuck one to him and he catches it with both hands.

You settle on the hillside, a shady patch of grass overlooking the northern face of the island.

“So,” you say between peels of the tiny fruit, “what subject were you nominated for?”

“Physics. I don’t usually participate in school stuff,” he stares down his tangerine, “but I really want to see the caves.” He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a ribbon. You stop peeling to watch him gather his hair and tie it up. When did it get so long? Now you can finally see his big eyes.

“Huh? Caves?” you weren’t listening because you were distracted by his beautiful side profile. What is it with these nerds and their caves?

Jungkook returns your gaze. “Have you heard of the Bermuda Triangle?” he says with big round eyes sparkling. He gets up and approaches the flat rock next to you. With one swift motion, he jumps and lands on top of it, no hands. Core strength. He stretches his arms above his head and his shirt rides up a bit. From your position on the ground, a glimpse of the unobtrusive trail below his navel invites your mind to fantasies of a very different kind of field trip. He looks down at you sweetly, waiting for your reply.

You shake your head, “I’m more of a biologist. Educate me?”

He gestures for you to join him up on the rock. Though Jungkook made it look easy, the climb for you is much more grueling. He lifts you up with the strength of one arm until you’re shoulder to shoulder. You try to get breath into your lungs without seeming too obvious. Struggling, your nostrils flare and the wind picks up. It carries hints of his musk and sweat. You can’t help but inhale deeply until his fragrance fills you with assurance. Glancing down at your hand, you notice the ring is bluish-green but you can’t recall what the card said.

The bluish-green ocean on the horizon looks like the perfect backdrop for Jungkook’s physics lesson. He starts, “Eight years ago, ships started disappearing out in the western sea. First a small fishing boat, then a big cargo ship, it didn’t matter how big or how many people. They just, vanished. No bodies, no debris, no trace. No one could explain the missing wreckage, so the papers wrote about violent storms to give the families of the lost some closure, something to blame. Only, it would happen again, within the exact same coordinates…The Bermuda Triangle. I think I have a theory. It can be explained with physics, the magnetic field, more specifically. Some physicists believe there’s something special about the Bermuda Triangle’s location in the magnetic field. There are believed to be other places like Bermuda,” Jungkook looks from you to the coast, “and one of them is here.”

“You mean, the legend of the caves? Where the pirates disappeared? I thought it’s just a local myth…"

“There’s more to it than the legend.” He leans in and whispers, “The government’s studying it closely too.”

“What,” you chortle loudly, “the government is funding myth-busters?”

Jungkook’s face is serious af. “It’s not a myth, Bighead. The Republic of Korea started building a naval base here in 1933.” He points to the east. The tall glass building of the research facility can be seen from here, shimmering in unnatural contrast to everything else on the island. You squint.

  Field Observation #7: You definitely need specs..and to read more news.

 Jungkook continues, “They started planning a naval base on the island some years ago. Construction started in Gangjeong village right over there,” he points west to the ferry docks where you first arrived. “The base was designed to be a mixed military-commercial port so that it could handle ferries, cruise ships, and…warships and submarines.” 

“Why would they want a naval base here? It’s just a quiet little sanctuary…” you say as you both sit down on the rock.

He rests his arms over his knees. “That’s exactly what the local villagers said. They were strongly opposed to it. Many worried that the private lab was doing experiments hazardous to the environment. They organized many protests, but in the end, they could only slow down the process. The military moved in with force and built the complex anyway.”

“But that’s like, totally against everything this retreat is about. What about all these scientists working at the conservatory, aren’t they here to study wildlife and protect it?”

“Where do you think their funds come from, Y/N? The lab is backed by the military, which means everything they do is government research.”

“How do you know all this?”

“It’s the subject of my research.” He looks around again, the bun atop his head bobbing side to side. “That’s what Tae has been helping me with.”

“Jungkook, I don’t understand. What’s Tae helping you expose the lab for? What do you think they are hiding?” You stare down his side profile. He bites his bottom lip with his bunny teeth.

“It’d become very dangerous for you if you knew,” he reaches to fix your wind-tousled hair. “Trust me.”

  Field Observation #8: Don’t trust men, unless they are Jungkook.

 He gives you a warm, reassuring smile. “Let’s get going now, we don’t wanna miss the next activity.”

 ***

 The chaperones lead everyone down the hill for the next activity on schedule. The Butterfly House.

Jin has not returned yet, you’re starting to miss his chaotic antics. At the front of the crowd, Professor Choi is desperately trying to get the class’s attention. Several stern scientists are hovering on the side, waiting for silence so they can deliver the welcome introduction. Once it quiets down, two of the scientists give a run-through on the Butterfly House rules. Among them, it is expected that all students keep their touching to a minimum and especially, keep out of the restricted areas marked by red fence. Hunger strikes your tummy, and you wish Jin were here to cure it with his magic snack bag. A nudge to your rib sends you out of your daydream. You turn to your side. Jungkook has a giant butterfly resting on the tip of his nose. Its shimmery blue wings gently tilting up and down. Jungkook is still, afraid it will fly away. You giggle at the sight of him holding the breath in his cheeks.  

The class breaks off into groups to tour the facility.

“Good Afternoon, students. Welcome to our 30-by-15-meter glass atrium.” Your group leader reads off a script as student’s heads tilt back to observe the magnificent architecture above. “We are proud to receive you as guests of the first walk-through butterfly habitat in the eastern hemisphere. It first opened in 1957, so you are the first scholars to visit. Inside these walls, you will find some 500 free-flying butterflies of up to 25 different species. There are about 15,000 to 20,000 known species of butterflies found worldwide and many yet to be discovered. You may find swallowtails and birdwings, brightly colored, or camouflaged among the plants.  Some might be difficult to spot, as butterflies can be as small as 3 mm, but can also be as large as 304 mm….”

A small butterfly floats past the guide’s shoulder and rests on it. “Ah, a Sasakia charonda, the great purple emperor. Native to the Korean Peninsula, Japan, China, and northern Taiwan, and Vietnam. As we see, butterflies can be orange, white, black, and even purple. However, they cannot see how beautiful they look because butterflies can only see red, green, and yellow. The journey to becoming a butterfly is always an inspiring tale.” The guide struggles to find their place on the script.

You tilt your head back and stare in awe, the scale of technology here is incredible. Your biologist brain buzzes with millions of questions. How did they replicate a tropical rainforest like this in 1958? Are there places like this in Japan too, or perhaps the United States? The facility is lush with amazon trees and exotic plants. It’s so dense. Thousands of vines cover the floors and wrap around the trees. Layers of moss and countless species of flora and fauna lie in the shaded canopies. Vines dominating the taller trees cross overhead, reaching over through air to dominate the other side. Some climb so high they span the atrium’s glass ceiling, where the sunlight pours in strongest. An astonishing vision of Darwin’s theory of natural selection.

The guide has found their place in the script and begins reading. “There are, um, four cycles of the butterfly’s life. A butterfly starts out as an egg. Then it hatches into a caterpillar, called the larva. The larva goes into a cocoon called the pupa stage, and finally, emerges as an adult butterfly free to spread their wings and fly. We have a display with pupa ready to hatch, please follow me…” The students clamor excitedly after the guide, who disappears down the pathway in the thick greenery.

Yelps can be heard in the distance as students and chaperones alike encounter all sorts of buzzing insects. You duck below the low-hanging vines. One thing they forgot to mention is the climate control in here. Somehow, the air in the atrium is kept very humid to mimic that of the Amazon rainforest. After a while, the moisture in the air becomes nearly suffocating. Jungkook, however, seems to be doing just fine. Suddenly, he reaches for your hand and clasps it in his, clammy.

“Look, there’s Jin!” you almost yell. Your hands are torn apart as you run over to the fence. Jin is working on the other side in a glass office. His face is buried in an apparatus that looks something like an advanced microscope. Dozens of flasks, books, and petri dishes are strewn across the bench before him. He looks like he’s busy.

“This area’s off-limits. I don’t think we can interrupt him.” Jungkook tugs at your sleeve. You expel air and look back at Jungkook to find that the blue butterfly has returned. Right atop his head, it sits, flitting its wings as Jungkook scrunches his nose. The butterfly doesn’t budge.

“Looks like Morpho adonis.” The angelic voice comes from behind you.

Jungkook rolls his eyes with the butterfly still on his head.

“Jin! You looked really preoccupied. What are you working on over there?” you indicate the room guarded by the fence.

“Oh, just some plant cell assays. They think they discovered a new species of moss in a cavern, so I’m helping look at samples. It’s promising. I’m running the RNA against the ones from my own research. If it matches, the cave is likely the one they’ve been looking for, a habitable location for—well, uh it’s confidential. Sorry, you understand.” His smile is still so genuine even when he’s withholding secret government information.

Jungkook tenses at the mention of “caves”.

“Have you seen it?” he asks.

“Seen what?” Jin returns.

“The cave. Have you been there?” Jungkook’s hands are shaking a little, so you move closer by his side and take his hand.

Jin’s eyes follow the movements of your hands. Just like they did back at the library the first time you met.

“I haven’t, no.” He lies.

“Sorry Choco, I’ll have to join you again tomorrow. Professor Moon asked for my help and it seems like it's going to take the rest of the evening. I’m sure Jungkook will keep you company for dinner in my place?” He gives you another sweet smile, but it has a bitter undertone. Much like Namjoon, when he had seen you with Yoongi’s jacket on that weird day.

  Field Observation #9: Stop reading between the lines, they don’t like you like that.

 “Before you both go—Jungkook, I have something for you,” Jin rolls up the sleeves of his lab coat and steps back into the room before returning.

He holds his hands out and you both peer down at the delicate thing sitting in his palms.

“What is it?” Jungkook nudges.

“Juniperus shimpaku,” Jin beams, “a bonsai.”

You watch Jin place the small tree in Jungkook’s outstretched hands.

“Give it to Namjoon, as my peace offering. Tell him it grows near the sea, so it will prefer regular misting. The foliage is needle-like now because it’s young, but as it grows older it will get scalier. One of the best things about Shimpaku is its hard resinous wood…ideal for advanced sculptural techniques such as jin, shari and sabamiki.” Jin bursts into his signature windshield laugh.

This time you roll your eyes, but Jungkook giggles along.

“Uh, thanks I guess,” Jungkook accepts the gift. “But I don’t know why you don't give it to him yourself. Knowing Joon, he’s pretty old-fashioned. If you've pissed him off, he can be really petty and hold a grudge. He holds things in until it gets really heavy—”

At that moment, a loud engine bang is heard from outside the atrium. The glass walls shake and the birds in the trees fly away in droves of panic.

“What the hell was that?” you say, but nothing else happens. The disturbance was momentary. 

"Nothing to fear folks," one of the chaperones calls from a distance. "A small aircraft had to make an emergency landing nearby. Idiots over-estimated their weight capacity and ran out of gas. Carry on."

“Anyway,” Jin continues, “take good care of it until you can give it to him. Oh, and if you’re prone to Drosophila melanogaster with your regular houseplants, you might want to lay off drowning the soil...”

“Droso-whatagaster?” you both say.

“Fruit. Flies.” Jin sighs. “Now please, go before someone sees you here. I am restricted material!” He grins at you and waves you off.

On your way out, your hand finds Jungkook’s again. Less clammy than before.

“Thank you for visiting the Butterfly Habitat, we hope you’ll gain a greater appreciation for butterflies and their place in the world’s ecosystems. Before you leave though, remember to check your clothing for any hitchhikers and pose by the Heaven Lotus for a memorable photo!” the chaperones guide you out toward the Heaven Lotus, where Taehyung is snapping photos.

“Jungkook, are we still on for tomorrow?” Tae heavily eyes your locked hands before Jungkook lets it go. Jungkook nods. You both smile, ready for the flash. Click.

 ***

 Jungkook eats dinner with you at a Haenyeo House. Four bowls of jeonbokjuk (abalone porridge) to be exact. Afterward, you browse the framed black and white photos on the wall. They tell the story of the haenyeo (sea women), the island’s legendary sea divers. Since the 18th century, deep-sea diving for fish became the work of women until their workforce outnumbered the men. So much so, the island has become a semi-matriarchal society, where the head of the heterosexual household is the woman, not the man. You and Jungkook remark if that is possible here in 1958, then why not on the mainland? The villages here seems to be ahead of their time. Patriarchy and heteronormative standards are still dominant in most places and probably will be for many years to come. After digesting your abalone with more discourse about dismantling the patriarchy and capitalism, you and Jungkook go out on the beach.

The sun has already gone down, marking the first day of the retreat over. The only light source radiating from the campfires along the beach and the star-lit sky. The campfire nearest your sleeping tent is vacant. The question of sharing a tent crosses your mind.

“Arent you going to tent up with your assigned travel buddy?” you ask Jungkook.

“My what?” he sips from his flask then stares expectantly at you.

“Your travel…buddy??” It’s not a weird question, right?

“Where did you hear that? I can guarantee there's no travel buddy list,” he giggles into his flask.

“But, Jin said…” You reflect on the words as you stare into the fire.

Water shoots from Jungkook’s nose as he tumbles forward. “He said he was your assigned travel buddy?! Ahahaha—”

Apparently, there was no such thing. Jin made it up just to have a reason to be with you during the trip. What are you supposed to think now?

You’ve had a long first day, to say the least. Jungkook helps you relax. The night passes too quickly as you exchange stories under the stars. At some point, you pass out asleep and feel Jungkook place his jacket over your chest. He carries you into the tent. You roll over onto your stomach and splay like a starfish. Jungkook struggles to remove your shoes and get you into the sleeping bag. Then the darkness swallows you and you drift into a deep sleep. Whatever comes tomorrow can’t possibly top the day you’ve had.

 ***

 You wake the next morning to an empty tent and two layers of sleeping bag. The extra is not yours. Your back is stiff and you feel like your whole body has sunk two feet in the sand. After a little morning spruce, you find Jungkook having breakfast by the campfire. The bonsai tree sits on a rock in front of him and the souvenir bracelet rolls between his fingers.

“That’s a really nice souvenir!” you sit beside him.

“Thanks. It’s for, um, Namjoon actually. Ha ha. You think he’ll like it? Joon loves the sea but, he works so much. He’s studying part-time and can’t take advanced classes.” He scratches the back of his round head again.

“That’s lovely, Jungkook. I think he will definitely love it.” Jungkook is so sweet, you can’t help feel a little jealous after how aloof he was with you on your first date. “Oh, this is totally random but speaking of Namjoon, you haven’t heard anything from him, have you? Last time we spoke was kinda weird…I thought maybe he said someth—"

“Y/N. I have to tell you something,” he hesitates, lingering for permission.

“What is it?” you say. The morning wind on the beach is a little chilly. You fold your arms across your chest for some warmth.

“Do you remember that day? The day I was supposed to pick you up after work?” he fiddles with the bracelet.

Now it’s your turn to choke on your flask. Your stomach feels like it’s going to sink with all the emotions of that day returning. Jin completely avoided this conversation, but here goes Jungkook getting right into it.

“Yes, I remember it all too clearly,” you sigh. “I was on my way to the parking lot where I thought you were picking me up. I was walking by the court while the jocks were playing a game. Then the ball went out of bounds and hit me. I passed out and woke up after Yoongi, uh, resuscitated me. His hand was injured and he looked really mad. He still took me to Namjoon’s. Namjoon was acting all weird about it, but I still don't know why.”

“Well, that’s one version of it. But that’s not our version.” Jungkook explains.

“You see, I have um, I have a secret. The project I mentioned that Tae is helping me with, it’s a dangerous project. A few months ago, I discovered something while experimenting. I may have sort of opened a dimensional rift.” He waits anxiously for your response.

“What does that mean, Jungkook. You farted?”

“No! Haha. In quantum physics, there’s a theorem called the Casimir effect, it essentially says that if you conduct the right amount of energy through the right materials at the right time, you can open a door through space-time.”

“Time travel?” you question.

“Yes!!! Time travel.” He whispers. “I messed with it and got it right. That day you got hit with a basketball, it wasn’t the players' fault, it was me! Haha—.” He says it too happily for your taste.

“Hey!… I thought the jocks might have done it on purpose,” you pout.

“It was an accident, I swear to Namjoon! I haven't completely mastered control over this thing yet. That day I was running a bit late, so I thought, "why not?" . It worked obviously, but there was some, uh, glitching. It was not a clean jump. I injured some people when I jumped back, especially you. I'm really sorry. Only Yoongi and Namjoon knew about my jumping experiments then. Yoongi rushed there to stop me. It could have been a disaster, Y/N. But I figured out that I can do a cleaner jump if I have a stronger source of energy. The vacuum isn't it. ” his eyes are sparkly again.

You are quiet, thinking.

“So, let me see. You can travel through time using science, but you don’t have a good grip on the specifics yet. Yoongi, Jin, and basically everyone else knows about it now. You all got together while I was passed out and schemed a lie so I wouldn’t find out I got knocked by an experimental poltergeist. Am I understanding it correctly?”

He blinks. “That was easier than I thought.”

“Jungkook. You are so cool…”

He blushes, “I’d rather be dead than cool…”

“Since I’ve already been a victim of your jumping experiments. Can I know about the cave?”

Jungkook sighs. “I told you yesterday that the cave is like the Bermuda Triangle. Under ideal conditions, the cave can be a portal for time travel. The lab doesn’t know what conditions exactly, but I do. They aren’t up to anything good with it. If the lab got its hands on time portal capability, it would have the power to manipulate the past and future. Taehyung did some journalistic investigating on the lab. It's called Heaven, Inc. Before it got the military permission to colonize the island, they were just another underfunded private lab, doing shady work for shady leaders. Corrupt stuff. Tae discovered that the lab has already found the cave and they've closed it off. It’s not much time before they get the conditions right. Do you see why we have to intervene? Only we know about it. The cave would be weaponized. A weapon of dimensional shifting.”

“Jin can't know what he’s part of, right? I mean, he would never volunteer for something like that. He’s good…”

“I dunno, he definitely knows where the cave is. Tae and I have a plan. We’ll follow him to the cave and film it all. The video will be released to the papers and the government will have to shut down the complex.”

“That’s doesn’t sound like a good plan, Jungkook. It’s dangerous. They have the strictest enforcement here. What if they stop you?”

“Trust me, Y/N. They need a really big source of energy to open the portal. After my experiments, I think I figured out how it works, but I’ll need your help..." He looks at you with the same expression he’s had the whole time, “Can I kiss you?” Endearing and determined.

You are completely startled at the turn of confessions.“It's for science, right?” 

“For science,” he grins.

“Ok, I trust you.”

He lunges forward and kisses you passionately on the lips. Your eyes shut tight and butterflies erupt in your atrium. Not counting Yoongi’s resuscitation technique, this is your first real kiss. Jungkook’s hand comes up to hold your face. He brushes your cheek and lingers, savoring you as long as he can.

At last, you break. “Wow,” he pants, “thank you.”

“Hey?” you pant back, “this better earn us the Nobel Prize.”

 ***

 Taehyung joins you and Jungkook at 7 o’clock sharp, carrying several duffle bags. He sets them down and slicks back his hair. “The name’s Bond, James Bond,” he says with a deep voice. Jungkook ignores him, too deep in thought focusing on the surroundings. Tae turns to you for approval and flashes his adorable boxy smile. You are really about to embark on a covert operation with Taekook.

You squat behind the dense thicket, waiting. Jin passes by with a group of serious scientists. As usual, Jin looks too chippy first thing in the morning. He stands out like a sore thumb. The youngest in the group and the most enthusiastic. Still, he remains well-mannered and eagerly follows orders as they prep for their second day excavating the hidden site.

The three of you follow the group down to the north-facing coastline, staying out of view. The group you’re tailing disappears into a tunnel behind a glistening waterfall. You wait behind some big rocks. A branch cracks behind you and you spin around. Funny. You could swear you saw a glimpse of the big-breasted mathematician's ass hanging out of a tree. No way. You're probably still dazed from locking lips with Jungkook. There's no way Namjoon would ever be here. Then, Jin’s laughter emerges from the cave as he leads the group back out. He saunters past, delightedly chatting up the eldest scientist. You sigh. Poor Jin, he really believes this about some moss.

“Well, we found it.” Taehyung whispers. “That was easy.”

Too easy. An uneasy feeling settles in your stomach. Like right before you are about to lose something. You glance over to Jungkook who is contemplating the next move. Your lips are still tingling from his kiss. Was it real? During your first date, he seemed so aloof. Sure, he was always sweet and protective, but it didn’t mean anything. That’s just how Jungkook is.

 Yoongi’s old words ring in your ears,

“Listen, Dove, it’s just a random coincidence. It could have been anybody…”

Yoongi really meant it. He knew. They all knew.

 Taehyung holds the fence open for you and Jungkook to climb through. He leaves the duffle bags by the waterfall and only grabs the camera. He takes photos of the chain-link fence protecting the cave entrance. A sign reads “RESTRICTED ACCESS”. Inside, the cave is more like a tunnel. It's cold, dark, rocky, and slippery. Jungkook lights a match and asks you to stay while he explores the interior.

You stick with Taehyung as he takes more photos. “You knew about Jungkook’s experiments?” you probe.

“Sweetcheeks, I’ve always told you, haven’t I? I appreciate art.”

Jungkook runs back from the tunnel, excited. “Hey guys, come check this out!”

You both chase after him.

“Careful, it’s slippery in here!” he yells back through the darkness.

You reach a clearing lit by torches. There's a lot of industrial equipment. Looks like the scientists have come this far. Jungkook examines the mysterious gadgets laying around, one by one. Everything has the same logo, Heaven, Inc.

“Extensional tectonics,” Jungkook mumbles. He walks to the center of the clearing and looks at the wet floor. A man-made “X” marks the spot. “It’s here, inside the Manjjanggul Lava tube. This is the dimensional rift..."

In geology, a rift is a linear zone where the lithosphere is being pulled apart. They form over thousands of years, often at the central axis of most mid-ocean ridges. The new oceanic crust and lithosphere form at a divergent boundary between two tectonic plates. The Manjjanggul Lava tube tunnel is said to be one of the longest, measuring around 7.5 kilometers deep.

Extensional tectonics, as Jungkook said. The Manjjanggul Lava tube is the second Bermuda Triangle. Conditions just right for space-time travel, if supported with a powerful catalyst.

The kiss. The kiss was the energy. Jungkook is trying to manifest the kiss into the big energy he needs to open the portal. You must be…his catalyst.

A purple light begins forming in front of Jungkook as he stands still.

“Wait don't start yet, I need to get the video camera!” 

"Well Taehyung, I don't know how it starts only when it starts...and it's starting now!"

Tae runs to retrieve the equipment from outside.

You flinch as water drips on your head from lava rock on the ceiling. The walls of the cavern start vibrating on rhythms, like the pace of a butterfly’s wings or a human heartbeat. The ring on your finger blackens as a void opens within you, a creeping bad feeling. You push it down.

“What’s happening?” you move to the edge of the wall.

“It’s stopped. I felt stronger energy a few minutes ago. It’s gotten weaker for some reason…” he concentrates hard. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“Jungkook—” you start to say. But Taehyung runs back.

“Has it worked yet? Did I miss anything?” he tosses the bags down and starts to assemble the video camera as quickly as he can.

“Wait, I feel something…” Jungkook plants his feet on the marking and holds his arms out in front of him like there’s an invisible wall there. An obscure purple cloud glows before him and the tunnel vibrates with more strength.

Tae starts filming. You flatten your bodies against the wall as more water drips from the shaking ceiling.

“I feel it.” Jungkook closes his eyes, eyebrows furrowed. He extends his arms farther out, pushing against the translucid wall. “It’s….happening…” he grunts as he puts all his might into the force. Blue and white hues emerge from the vortex developing at his hands. The walls of the cavern pulse even harder. You cling to the wall as you brace for the unknown.

Then, an echo of running footsteps down the tunnel gets louder. Indiscernible yelling and swearing as the heavy steps approach.

One deep voice penetrates the cave and spikes the walls harder than the supernatural force at Jungkook’s fingertips can.

“Stop!” Namjoon shouts.

“Choco! Get away from him!” Jin appears behind Joon. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Jungkook is not listening anymore. The force in his hands surges and cave walls begin to give way. Tae fumbles with the camera, desperately trying to capture the phenomenon as the tunnel shakes more violently.

Jimin approaches calmly, “I think we would all like to live, so let’s all hold hands and walk out of here in one piece…”

“I can’t leave,” Jungkook replies through the translucent shimmer. "We have to destroy this place."

Namjoon steps closer, cautious of the rocks beginning to crumble overhead.

“Jungkook, please. You are putting yourself in danger…” he pleads. The leader’s fear growing with each passing second until Namjoon breaks down and tears flow from his eyes. With that, the portal opens, rendering Jungkook helpless to its mystical aura.

Everyone is puzzled. Yoongi’s level voice is heard over the rumbling, “What just happened, why is it getting worse?” Jungkook doesn’t know, but his mesmerization with the portal overtakes him and he can’t hear the others anymore. A deep part of his conscious is already elsewhere, they’re losing him.

 Jungkook’s peaceful face shimmers with waves of violet and pink. His eyes wide open, soul entering into a new dimension while his body still hangs back. Grounded in something. Or someone.

Seokjin pulls you away, trying to get you out of the tunnel. Before he can get you very far, Namjoon grabs hold of your free arm. A massive pulse sends a long fissure across the floor, dividing the space in two. You’re being pulled in two directions, Jin on one side and Joon on the other. The tunnel begins to collapse. Hoseok yells for everyone to get out. You must pick a side or you'll die. 

A segment of lava rock falls, nearly crushing Taehyung who has dropped the camera. He runs to Jungkook but more rock falls, blocking him. You’re held on both sides. You look up from Namjoon’s chest. His cheeks are soaked in tears.

“You put everyone at risk,” he glares at Jin.

“Me?” Jin argues back, tugging you to himself. “Your greasers are to blame! You let Jungkook and Taehyung do something dangerous. They even brought Y/N to the cave. I made you all swear, did I not, to keep Y/N out of this! What Jungkook was doing was never safe! We had a choice to stop the lab from finding the portal key. I mocked up the plant samples to destroy the evidence and convince them this is not the place. No one was going to get hurt! But Jungkook, he made his choice. He chose to destroy the site altogether. He chose violence!”

You’re suddenly thrust away from the pair as Namjoon lunges toward Jin. He throws the first punch. Jin collides with the wall behind them. Joon makes for another hit but Jin headbutts him first, tackling the six-foot-tall man to the ground, which is now being pelted with falling lava rocks. You lose balance on the shaky floor and start to fall backward. Yoongi catches you in time and shields you from the debris, looking for a way out.

Was that true? Was Taekook’s plan all along to destroy the cave? Who is right? Who is trusted? You remember Jungkook's words. Trust me.

NamJin curse at one another as they wrestle to the ground. The leader of the greasers and the leader of the jocks. Peace was never an option, was it.

Suddenly, the pulsing hum stops and there is silence. From Yoongi’s embrace, you can still see Jungkook. One moment he is there, standing on the X mark. Namjoon reaches for him but in a moment that feels frozen, lasting longer than a moment should, a whirring noise slices through the cold air, then…Jungkook vanishes. ZAP.

All that’s left in Namjoon’s large hand, the moon bracelet. Only the sounds of heavy breathing and dripping water fill the void. Jin rises from the ground and catches his breath. He looks up at Namjoon in confusion. Still silence.

Namjoon is about to say something. Then ZAP… he vanishes through thin air. The bracelet drops to the wet ground and rolls toward you. What the fuck! Everyone looks at each other. What is happening?! A moment later, Yoongi follows. ZAP. Jimin. Taehyung. Hoseok. ZAP ZAP ZAP.

Only you and Jin are left.

 ***

 The following morning, your school formally announces the reported disappearance of six of its students, four of whom were not attending the retreat. Their names are printed in the paper, along with their photos.

Kim Namjoon. Min Yoongi. Jung Hoseok. Park Jimin. Kim Taehyung. Jeon Jungkook.

 All Heaven, Inc. facilities are shut down for further investigation. The remaining students are sent home early in the morning. Police recover the Heaven, Inc. lab equipment from the Manjjanggul Lava tube, but can't find a single trace of the missing students. Seokjin's father gets a lawyer for the other families and files a civil suit.

The long bus ride home is melancholic. You were up all night being questioned by the police, nothing you said was written down. The reporters will dismiss the truth and release their own narrative in a few months. 

The students had a secret party on a sailboat, they got drunk, had a dispute, forgot to tie it to the dock and drifted out in the middle of the night. No bodies were found. It was an accident. A simple mistake of rambunctious youth.

You and Seokjin remain quiet. Neither of you feel like talking. Six of your friends have just vanished. You fear the worst. You have endless questions. Where are they? Why did everyone but Jin jump? Did they make it through safe? Will they ever come back? What will their families do? The void inside only grows. Your racing mind exhausts and you lean your head on Jin’s shoulder. It’s big and sturdy and safe. Whatever happens from now on, at least you will have Jin by your side. You fall asleep.

 ***

 The sound of Professor Choi quietly nudging you awake causes you to jump, “Wake up, Dear. You are home.”

“Huh, what year is it?” You rub the sleep from your eyes and feel a cramp in your neck. There’s no other student left on the bus but you. The spot next to you empty, with all but a snack left on the seat. You pick up the wrapped choco pie and stare at it. No way. Did Jin get time warped? He couldn’t have he was with me…

“It’s 1958, Dear,” Choi laughs. “Don’t forget your belongings. I’ll leave you to it.” The professor walks off the bus.

 Jin got time-warped with the rest. This is not a dream. You are not dreaming.

 All seven of them...left you.

  Field Observation #10: It was a f*ckboy au after all. What did you expect, Bighead? 

 See you in 1985 :)