#Wtf is Smiler doing

[theinoculator]

Finding some random pictures and putting my oc's in that position pt 1

There may be no pt 2

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, everyone! When we left off, the trio had just hit Summer Monday, which I thought was a perfect day to spend selling things at their store --

-->But first – at the end of the last episode, Victor had just realized that holy SHIT did poor Shadow need a bath. XD So I had him take her upstairs to give her a scrub in the new fancy tub, while Alice (hanging out in Smiler’s room) got send to bed to top up her energy and Smiler finished upgrading their video production station with the “auto-update” upgrade that keeps it from breaking. Nice. :) They then studied the trends and discovered people were interested in tech reviews again, so I had them do a gadget review – and to my shock and amusement, the gadget they chose was what looked like an old early 2000s cellphone. You know, those “candybar” models that just had all the buttons and the little screen right on the front? Successor to the flip phone? That sort of thing. I promptly put “less of a review and more of a history lesson” in the description when they finished. XD

-->While that was happening, Victor finished up Shadow’s bath – and while I was clicking on her to see what I wanted to do next, I realized something: despite Shadow being an Adventurous dog, I had NEVER actually taken her on an adventure! And as Victor was feeling pretty darn good, I decided that 3:30 AM was a perfectly good time for them to dive down the rabbit hole. XD Literally – the “go on an adventure” option involves a Sim and their dog disappearing into a rabbit hole and having a little text adventure off-lot. Victor and Shadow thus headed down the front path, where – as per the pop-ups – they headed to Brindleton Bay and Whiskerman’s Wharf! Their adventure involved Victor and Shadow tracking an interesting scent past the still-hopping Salty Paws Saloon and along the edge of the harbor – only for the trail to go at an empty dock. Apparently whatever Shadow had sniffed out had already left on whatever boat had been moored there. Victor assured her it was all right, and when they got home, I had him give her a treat for being a good girl. :) It wasn’t anything spectacular, but hey – always good to engage with a part of the game I haven’t really messed around with before!

-->With the adventure over, though, it was time to start getting on with the business of the day! Victor went and hit the bathroom before going to tend his greenhouse (the new set of overgrown crops were looking VERY weedy), while Alice woke up, licked herself clean, then went out onto the front porch to call all their Free-Spirited cats home from their own adventures. And to finally take the cone off poor Surprise, who was probably sick of not being able to lick herself. :p She then set about cleaning the spoiled food out of the fridge and having a chat with Gino the MySim statue before getting herself a plate of berry waffles. Smiler, meanwhile, edited their “tech review” of the candybar phone, then went outside to feed the chickens and clean their coop –

[ask-alton-towers]

SMILER WTF DID YOU DO TO ALTON?!

Absolutely A-okay! Nothing to worry about here!!

(Also sorry I'm rlly slow with the asks recently ☹️)

[atomicc]

Not to have a psychotic moment on my tumblr dot com but accessed some sort of dimensional bubble today that wasn't not my own but wasn't my own either and Did Not Like it. And I say not necessarily not my own because I know that I'm ultimately most versions of myself and fluctuate between them but am I Every version of myself..? Or was it like an accidental peek into an alternate reality that could have happened or maybe did happen? But it didn't happen to me because it couldn't happen to me. Like. That's Not Me. Im Smiler and he wasn't because he never became Smiler which means it wasn't me. It's like bread isn't flour like flour can become bread but bread isn't flour and flour isn't bread do you understand. Like. If the guy that I came from, like this is literally so embarrassing I can't remember his name but that guy the guy, if he Doesn't become Smiler than I'm not him. I'm not any future version of him either I'm not anyone else but me so if he doesn't become me I'm not in that reality. Flat out. So it was weird yknow like being put in that bubble or pocket or whatever and being really confused and scared like wtf is happeningggg but it's just an oops wrong number thing yknow? It wasn't thta I was him I was just in his body and I was like fuckkk this sucks and is bad. and begged his poor friend to take me to the park and black hole was there instead of me and it's like HUH AREN'T YOU aren't you DEAD??? weird as hell like

Hm

Anyway it was weird and yet informative on the nature of my existence. And it's like how do I know tho if I was the actual ride itself too tho? I mean realistically no..? Right? Or yes maybe? Like the version from the lore but not the version from real life like as in this reality ok? I haven't eaten I'm sooo hungry

[astrxealis]

gna make a ffxiv oc based off lamorak fr bcs wtf

[mileycyrxsb]

ㅤ ㅤ 𝐁 𝐄 𝐀 𝐓 ㅤ𝐌 𝐄

ㅤ 𝐁 𝐈 𝐓 𝐄 ㅤ𝐌 𝐄

ㅤㅤ 𝐖 𝐇 𝐈 𝐏 𝐌 𝐄

ㅤ ㅤ 𝐅 𝐔 𝐂 𝐊ㅤ𝐌 𝐄

ㅤ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪʀᴛʏᴩɪɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ

ㅤ 𝐂 𝐔 𝐌 ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛɪᴛꜱ

ㅤ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ

ㅤ ㅤ𝐋 𝐎 𝐕 𝐄ㅤ 𝐌 𝐄

ㅤ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ

https://t.co/97x4RUazP8

[mysterylover123]

Mysterylover watches Bleach episodes 46-47

mysterylover123

1. MOMO FLASHBACKS! MOMO BACKSTORY!!! And more bb Renji and Rukia snarking at each other. OH YAS.

2.  We appear to be watching more of the Soul Reaper Academia part of the series. So good, good. + special guest star Momo. 

3. And Renji gets a rival immediately, because Shonen has it’s tropes and it’s gotta follow em goddamit. And of course because “Shonen Rival” is basically code for “lover”, blondie immediately starts quasi-rival-flirting with Renji beneath a tree. Hurry up and get him back Rukia blondie here is stealing your man.

4. OK there she is. They immediately start arguing, of course and comparing powers and encouraging each other slyly in the way that Shonen rivals tend to do. Hey, “Rival” can be code for lover even if they are of opposite sexes!

5. OMG so they split into trios of 2 guys and a girl? Wow. that’s just so Naruto I can’t even. And Renji and Blondie’s 3rd is Momo? OK let’s see how this goes.

6. Ooh boy. Renji’s Team 7 or 8 or whatever runs into a really big and evil hollow who kills their redshirt classmates on their first dummy mission. Wowsa.   And Holy Shit MOMO is the one to try and kill it like an idiot instead of one of the two hot-headed rivalls?  (OK they immediately followed but this is clearly her idea.)

7. I do like that GlassesCap (Aizen) and Creepy Smiler show up to save them. Like, it would be kinda unrealistic for a buncha rookies to pull out a win at that point, and it’s nice to see the formerly sinister characters be heroes (SMILEY FACE’S SWORD IS CALLED SHINSO?! OH GOD YES.)

8. I’m noticing that GlassesCap is kinda hot. Like, absurdly hot. Can definitely tell why Momo has such a crush on him. And also WTF did she just do the guard?! MOMO THIS IS A VERY DARK SIDE OF YOU THAT I DID NOT SEE COMING

9. So Momo has broken outta jail and thinking about how “IT WAS TRUE” without specifying what was true and it’s driving me outta my mind. WHODUNIT WHODUNIT DAMMIT MOMO TELL ME

10. Ooh Abarai (Renji) has escaped? YAS. Did Momo break him out? Apparenrtly. Because Momo has snapped. Ooh boy YAS. She sure does like to snap.

11. Ichigo and Yoruichi? Wow, I honestly did not expect to see them again. I kinda forgot that Ichigo was the Actual Main Character after all these episodes where he basically is offscreen. 

12. Ooh GlassesCap’s death has to do with Rukia’s execution date?! Well gang, it looks like we’ve gotta mystery to solve. Momo you be our Velma. (Orihime shall be our Daphne, Ichigo I guess is Shaggy, Ishi Fred and Yoruichi Cat Girl Scooby. Cause Cat/dog). 

13. OK I hope hardcore Ichigo fans don’t at me too hard for this, but I’m finding his training montage here to be kinda boring? Like, maybe it’s just cause he’s been doing training montages constantly throughout this whole arc and it’s starting to feel like he’s just doing the same thing over and over again without growing at all besides getting powered up. But I’d really rather follow the other cast members right now because Ichi doing the same thing a lot is getting a little dull.

14. Though him freaking the f out at the possibility of naked Yoruichi bathing with him is pretty funny. “please don’t show me your boobs I’m too gay for that”

15. Ooh and Yoruichi and Urahara have a Past. Yup shipping them now. Again, childhood friends weakness. 

16. Smirking Face be all like “Ah but I knew that you would do that and you knew that I knew” and Momo of course be like “I be the crazy one” and apparently she thinks white hair killed him? Yeah right. I’m pretty sure that’s a lie. 

17. OK apparently The only reason Ruki’s bein executed is to unleash a REALY REALLY POWERFUL sword. OK Folks we got ourselves A MACGUFFIN. An EVIL MacGuffin.

18. SmirkFace definitely seems to be the Secret PuppetMaster here. Dammit looks like there’s no Orihime this week. I mean, I guess lotsa Momo and Rukia/Renji flashbacks make up for it. But still. 

[yiqiie]

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E2 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: sorry this is late! i forgot the episode was released yesterday welp but tbh saturday night is probably gonna be my upload day anyway 

start time: 10:42 am 

my internet is experiencing problems woooooo so this will be interesting 

so many goddamn ads 

wait who’s the team who were playing like instruments and shit??? they sounded AWESOME

oh damn recap of zyx being pissed off 

MILK ADS 

that chewing gum is actually pretty good ngl 

also the theme song is getting catchier so don’t be surprised if i start liking it 

i still feel so bad for the kids who are sitting out IN THE COLD 

[break while my internet decides if it wants to continue being an asshole]

MC JIN YOU’RE HILARIOUS I LOVE YOU 

‘if you’re a rapper, PLEASE LEAVE’ i’m dead 

zhang pd is sighing lmao 

chen si jian leggo 

IT’S A RAPPER I’M CRYING AHAHAHHAHAAH 

*awkward silence* 

he’s shaking omfg poor baby 

also minghao is really cute ily i never said it before 

HE WROTE THAT?? oof you got talent boy 

he got a zyx serious nod 

wtf he was so quiet??? and now he’s just rapping the shit out of this song 

HE CAN SING YES YOU GO BABE 

oh damn those lyrics 

is it an A? i saw in the description there might be an A today 

IT’S A B YOU GO SWEETHEART 

IT’S THE SMILER FROM LAST EPISODE 

i love their suits 

LI ZHENNING BABE YOUR SMILE 

black pearl i’m crying his skin is GORGEOUS 

HIS POUT 

ALL OF THEIR SMILES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL 

zyx and mc jin talking about shi mingze being similar to kris wu 

LOOK AT ZYX’S FACE MY EXO FEELS 

he looks like my uncle I SPIT MY WATER OUT LMFAO 

jia yi’s CLAPPING I AM IN LOVE 

THAT ENTRANCE 

HIP WIGGLING I LOVE IT 

the song was damn good 

mc jin lmfao HIS SOUNDS 

even the trainees know that their bets on other trainees’ grades are probably gonna be wrong lol 

YOU’VE SCARED THEM ZHANG PD 

jia yi why are you so fcking cute 

NO ONE IN C EITHER 

well their prediction wasn’t wrong they said all of them would be D together 

but :( i really liked their perf 

HE WANTS TO GO ON STAGE JUST TO SEE ZHANG PD 

what a precious bub i shall protect 

stretchy bendy boi

xu long han uwu 

WAIT 

HE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED ZYX A DIMPLE LIAR 

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

[pls excuse as my wifi loads again]

LI RONGHAO NOT UNDERSTANDING THE JOKE 

i actually love him 

oh jesus this song brings back the memories lmfao 

THIS KID IS FCKING HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM 

stretchy bendy boi again woooooo 

I’M CRYING HE’S SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM MUM 

we already knew he was F but still ;; 

YOU MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION THOUGH GORGEOUS ILY 

YAO MINGMING ILY HE’S SO CUTE 

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE ALSKDJALSD

6 years as a trainee damn boi 

oh shit 

how is being this good at dancing fair holy goddamn 

THEY CAN SING TOO WTF THIS IS NOT FAIR 

[wifi cut off again so guess what i GET TO WATCH THE PERF AGAIN] 

zyx has his serious face on 

wait they just got up from that position WITHOUT THEIR HANDS 

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE

uh oh they ain’t getting As or Bs 

A C AND A D NOOOO 

okay i agree with his comments but c’mon they were nervous 

don’t worry babes you have plenty of time to improve! ;;; 

zhou shi yuan oh god i need to remember names 

HE DOES BIOMEDICINE?? DAMN BOI 

deep voice holy shit damn 

VOCALS VOCALS VOCALS 

omg so many vocals today 

BROMANCING ALREADY SHARING MILK 

okay that sounds weird 

THE BOY HE CHEERS AT EVERYONE WHO IS HE 

others: :| 

this boi: :O

omfg he’s a fcking meme too 

[paused while my mother makes me watch a David Attenborough documentary on bamboo] 

MAVERICKS LET’S GO 

MR X’S SONG WHOOP WHOOO 

IDOL PROD S1 FEELS LEGGO 

IT’S ACAPELLA HOLY SHIT LET’S GO 

vocals damn holy shit 

okay the dancing may not be as on point because there was a bit where they weren’t doing anything 

BUT I STILL LIKE THEIR VOCALS 

YAO CHI WHAT THE 

WE HAVE A B BABES 

GUAN YUE FINALLY 

MY BEAUTIFUL SMILING BABY BOY I’VE MISSED YOU 

even yixing is in love with his smile i can tell 

those sharp dance moves though 

I LOVE GUAN YUE GUYS 

honestly that was my favourite performance i don’t care what other people say 

it’s probably gonna be a B 

even though i want him to get an A 

LIAN HUAI WEI MY FAVOURITE BUB 

li wenhan holy shit you are fcking adorable 

YUEHUA LET’S GOOOOO

he forgot to bow WHAT A CUTIE 

LI WENHAN BEING A LEADER I LOVE 

babe don’t say you don’t want an F because zyx can sense fear and he’s gonna give you one 

i’M PRAYING FOR YOU ALREADY 

wenhan is such a soft boy omg 

JIAYOU BABES I’M ROOTING FOR YOU 

oh goddamn these slow mo shots are killing me 

OOF WENHAN GAVE ME A LOOK 

picking up the rose petals I AM DEAD 

guys i still really love jolin she smiled at me and i just forgot about my love for all the others 

jks li wenhan is singing at me now 

i want him to get an A but my bet is on a B 

NO Fs OR Ds WE DOING GOOD 

hu chun yang is really cute just saying 

told y’all so 

even though i wanted him to get an A

YES IT’S THE BAND HOLY SHIT 

THIS WAS SUPER GOOD IN THE PREVIEW 

oof i love it i love it i love it 

probs not gonna get the results i want them to get but WHO CARES I’M STANNING 

all Cs i can deal with that 

LIKE MY DAD POOR LI RONGHAO

i really like this guy’s suit 

wait i forgot his name 

i’ll wait till zyx says it again lmfao 

ZHANG PD SAYS HE’S HANDSOME 

chen you wei THAT’S HIS NAME 

HE GOT AN F WHAT 

oh here we go gramarie

okay i gotta say gramarie is really good at picking songs 

like last year it was a really good song too 

when are we getting an A 

the accents are so cute AHAHAHAHA 

zyx is losing his shit 

i missed their names though and their company 

there aren’t any left????

are there seriously no As?

oh damn 

i just noticed that the new trainee clothes are from new balance 

I AM CRYING FROM LAUGHTER 

such a good reference to ‘balance’ 

they’re really not going to give zyx a break lmfao 

theme song practice leggo

IT’S THE SM PRACTICE ROOM 

MY SM FAMILY FEELS 

i really do love the new uniforms 

THE DORMS 

WE’VE MISSED YOU 

bruh the gifts are better than last year 

wenhan you’re adorable omg i’ve said this so many times 

SOMEONE HAS A YODA AHAHAHHA

XU MINGHAO YOU’RE A GORGEOUS BOI 

and you’re a cutie too 

he speaks so softly too ugh ily 

lmfao their hands look like jellyfish ngl 

but damn xu minghao you’re a good teacher 

wang jiayi ;;; working when everyone left already 

ngl i’m not feeling the broship like last season where people would go out of their way to help each other 

he’s literally by himself and it’s nearly 6am 

jesus this boy is hard working 

LMAO once one person comes in everyone comes in ahahhahha

okay okay previews here we come 

wait removing the centre decision 

TO WHAT

oh damn future stages what a look 

I LIKE 

sidenote: i took a ss of this beautiful boy but forgot where i was going to put it so i’m gonna leave it here anyways. enjoy :)

finish time: 9:47 pm 

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!

[doodleddrollery]

Would like to also add an opinion that goes with this one, and is also a “controversial” opinion:

The Douglas family aren’t “abusive” as much as stereotypical sitcom family dysfunctional.

Watching the show again recently, Douglas and Debbie are really fucking weird at both their kids?!  Like who proudly says their kid’s gunna be a high school drop-out and live with them into his forties? Yo what the fuck?

Being asked to do chores isn’t abuse?  And did we forget Duncan basically got wrestled by a blue “home-invader” in his bathroom and fled out of his house on Christmas?  Or that Douglas Douglas gives Debbie a look when she ate all the pizza rolls?  This isn’t a serious bit?  It’s a kids show? 

Yall...lighten the fuck up?

Controversial Freakafandom opinion:

Duncan Douglas isn't that bad a person,

You guys are just pulling straws for your woobie victim!Dexter tropes,

Duncan isn't that bad an older brother,

Dexter and Duncan fight, that's normal for siblings to just be dicks to eachother sometimes. It's not that deep.

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome -- to the Not-So-Micro Wedding Chapel! :D This is my own personal update of the "Micro Wedding" lot by TrimbleTwist on the Gallery -- that lot is a cute little chapel built to be placed on one of the smallest lots in the game (the 20x15 lot size), but as I plopped this one down in place of the rather larger rental lot in the Bramblewood in Henford-On-Bagley, I decided I could expand it out a little bit. :p Specifically, I made the outdoor patio reception area a lot bigger, adding in a proper buffet table and a fancier table for the cake, more tables for guests to sit at (with color schemes at least somewhat appropriate for a Van Alton wedding -- gotta have our black, yellow, and purple!), a dance floor, a fancier piano (that's actually the one you normally unlock through completing the "Musician" branch of the Entertainer career), a few more plants edging the whole thing, and a "photo op" area with backdrop and tripod (keep that in mind for later). I also updated the lot traits -- I kept Natural Light, as that went well with the photo area, but Homey became Romantic Aura and Great Acoustics to Party Place as I felt those better suited a wedding venue specifically. I mean, you're not coming here to do anything but have a wedding party, right? I didn't actually do much to the chapel itself, though, beyond recoloring the wedding arch inside, adding a few more lights to the interior --

And adding the True Colors Pride Flags by @itsonlythee-sims to the outside! This is an edit of a flag mesh from Discover University made base game compatible that features a bunch of pride flag variations (plus one Simlish BLM flag), and one of the ones included is a polyamory flag (the classic blue-black-red stripes with a yellow infinity heart). Given that what I was hosting was a polyam wedding, I had to stick that out there -- along with the "Progress" pride flag, as that felt like it covered most things queer. :) So yes, this was the lovely venue that Victor, Alice, and Smiler arrived at to have their big wedding event! I promptly sent them downstairs into the tiny basement to use its kitchen to make the wedding cake (a white and black cake, because fancy) as a group, as I thought that would be sweet --

And -- okay. Let's just get this bit out of the way now -- it took me three tries to get the wedding to go off the way I wanted it to. First time, they wouldn't even start making the cake -- there was just a lot of that Sim "okay, let's just stand around because something is stopping our AI from actually completing a queued task" bullshit that we all know and "love." Second time, they actually got through the cake and got to the ceremonies -- but while I got some halfway decent shots of Victor and Alice's vow renewal, Alice actually walked out of Victor and Smiler's wedding because for some reason the game decided that "attending the wedding" meant she had to go OUTSIDE, and that and an ill-timed "hey, should Alice officially Like Photography" pop-up meant that I missed capturing most of their ceremony both in in-game pictures and screenshots. *sigh* It's really fortunate that I saved the minute the trio stepped onto the lot, because otherwise...

All right, let's not worry about that anymore -- let's talk about the third attempt, which was indeed the charm, I'm happy to report! (Mostly because I'd learned from the mistakes of the previous two attempts.) As indicated, I sent the trio downstairs to work on the wedding cake together (Alice leading the group action because she has the most points in Cooking), and happily with me having already gotten all the items that could possibly restrict a Sim from helping off the counters, the trio WERE able to collaborate properly on their cake. And get real fancy about it too, as you can see :) Between getting them down there and actually starting off the process, though, the guests started arriving before they were actually done -- said guests being Clement Frost, Angela and Lilith Pleasant, Nalani Mahi'ai, Felipe Sisson, Rory Oaklow, and Angela and Lilith Pleasant! AKA all of Smiler's friends that Victor and Alice also know and are friendly with. XD The guests began filtering downstairs in search of their hosts as the cake was completed -- I quickly had Alice stick the wedding topper on it so no one could sneak an early piece, then let her get in a bathroom break as Victor used magic to fix the busted fridge (I dunno why getting cake ingredients out of it broke it, but it did) and Smiler sucked down a plasma fruit to prevent any Thirst issues. I then turned autonomy off temporarily to stop at least my own Sims from doing too many "forbidden activities," changed my trio into their wedding outfits, added as many guests to their group as I could, and marched them all upstairs to sit in the wedding chapel so at least a few of the guests would be in position to actually watch the ceremonies. And then it was just a matter of getting Victor and Alice into position at the altar, and Smiler into position (with Alice's super-nice camera in their inventory) to act as cameraperson...

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Meet The Family Edition Volume II: Van Dort Visit

Victor: [knocking on the door to Smiler's apartment, fidgeting anxiously] S-smiler? Are -- are you ready to go?

Smiler: [from the other side of the door] Yeah, just a second!

Smiler: [opens the door to reveal that they're wearing -- a plain black suit, white shirt, and black tie]

Victor:

Smiler: ...you okay?

Victor: [blinking and shaking his head] Yes! I-I just -- didn't expect -- [gestures to the outfit] I d-didn't think you owned -- d-don't get me wrong, it is p-probably perfect for visiting Burtonsville and m-meeting my parents, it's only...it looks d-downright funereal.

Smiler: [really awkward smile] Ah -- there's a reason for that...

--

[Context: the trio are being driven by the Van Dorts' chauffeur through the streets of Burtonsville to the Van Dort mansion]

Smiler: [takes a picture of the town and sends it to their friends]

Thirteen: [texting back] Ha ha. Take one without the black-and-white-filter, will you?

Galactica: [texting back] Yeah, be fair, Smiler.

Smiler: [a minute later, texts a picture of themselves and Alice in front of the window, showing that they're in full color]

Galactica: [texting back] WTF???

Thirteen: [texting back] HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY LIVES IN A TIM BURTON MOVIE?!

--

[Context: at the mansion, Victor is showing Alice and Smiler around]

Smiler: [staring down another hallway] Sheesh, how many rooms does this place have?

Victor: I'm honestly not sure. More than we could ever need, that's for certain. [rolls his eyes] Have to have room for all of Mother's "treasures..."

Alice: Yes, your mother in particular does seem to be into the conspicuous consumption. [small smile] At least you don't have a gold toilet?

[smash cut to:]

Alice: [staring at a literal gold toilet] Oh my fucking god.

Smiler: [also staring] Is it -- can you --

Victor: Of course not -- do you think my mother would ever allow anyone to befoul her beloved toilet?

Smiler: Rita is going to kill your parents if she ever meets them.

Victor: Please tell her to do so in a way that allows me a proper alibi.

--

[Context: Nell is holding court at tea and complaining about "this modern world"]

Nell: People just don't know their place anymore! Why, just a little while ago, I had the displeasure of dealing with the rudest, most incompetent barista I've ever met!

Victor: [not really paying attention anymore] Did you?

Nell: Yes! Cheeky little bugger didn't seem to understand anything about his job! All I wanted was a few little extras -- the sort a customer is entitled to -- and he couldn't even pour the coffee right!

Victor: [sudden horrified realization] Uh --

Alice: [calmly sipping her tea] That must have been terrible for you.

Smiler: [nodding] I bet you didn't even leave a tip.

Nell: Oh, we never leave tips anyway -- we don't believe in them, isn't that right, William? [William gets half a nod in before she continues] But we paid good money for that coffee, and I expected it to be done right! Not by some half-wit with dyed hair rolling his colored contacts at me!

Smiler: [completely deadpan] How dare they.

Victor: [muttering] Still drank the entire thing, though.

Nell: Not the point! [shaking her head as she returns to her own tea] At least you're not spending all your time with those sorts, Victor. If I knew you were carrying on with a barista I'd die of shame.

Alice: [under her breath] Can we have that in writing?

Victor: [trying very hard not to laugh]

--

Victor: [deep sigh as they all climb in the Van Dort's car to go home] Thank you both for putting up with that.

Alice: It's fine, Victor. They are your parents, and we were going to have to do that eventually.

Victor: I know, just -- I'm sorry. About them. They're -- a-a lot, I know.

Alice: [squeezing his forearm] I imagine you do, yes.

Smiler: Yeah, really. [pause] So, how do you think it's going to take before she finally realizes who I am and dies of shame?

Victor: Considering how much attention she pays to "servants" -- the heat death of the universe.

Alice: I don't think I can wait that long.

Victor: Please don't murder my mother.

Smiler: Yeah, Rita already has dibs.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark Vs Baldur's Gate III

Okay, so, yesterday I happened to mention that I'd gotten into Baldur's Gate III -- and that a certain Crime Trio of mine (based on an entirely different RPG, I might add), had decided to lay claim to it as a potential AU of their OWN AU. No, I don't know why I'm like this either. *sigh* Anyway, there's not really that much to it at this point in time -- while I have spoiled myself on the story (and seen a bunch of cutscenes thanks to my friend @gaydragonwizards), I haven't actually played that much of the game itself and thus don't know exactly how the trio would react to EVERY quest and NPC in the game. I do know some basics, though:

-->The AU starts with the Nautiloid happening to pop into the Valicer In The Dark universe by mistake while navigating -- the mind flayers decide they may as well abduct some people while they're here, and unfortunately Victor, Alice, and Smiler, walking the streets of Six Towers, are in range of the tentacles and taken aboard to be infected

-->Smiler wakes up in the canonical pod and finds their way to Us, saving them and immediately bonding with the little intellect devourer ("I'm a they/them too!"); Alice wakes up in a different pod nearby and is the first to meet Lae'zel, and helps her fight the imps; and Victor wakes up in the same room as Shadowheart, and is working on freeing her when the others arrive -- they get her out, get to the helm, and manage to fight their way to the transponder and connect the nerves

-->If you're wondering about potential language barriers, one of the good things about the tadpoles randomly connecting your mind to other people's is that it allows you to pick up Common super fast -- I basically see them getting a bit of an "information dump" on a few key things about the reality they're currently in during the initial connections

-->Also, in the process of freeing Shadowheart, the group find that woman in the other room and mess with her console, accidentally causing her to change -- a creepy moment made even creepier by Victor's Ghost Mind ability letting him briefly see the woman's soul escape...and then burn up as she transforms into a mind flayer. We will come back to this later

-->After the crash landing, Victor, Alice, and Smiler are very confused when they wake up to see a blue sky...and then, after waking up Shadowheart and being told, essentially, "it's blue because it's sunny?" are utterly GOBSMACKED to find themselves in a world with an ACTUAL SUN. Though shock and delight quickly turn to "oh wow, this is actually a lot hotter than we're used to, we need to find lighter clothes fast" XD

-->From there, they pick up the rest of the companions and work their way through the main plot, hoping to both find a way to get the damn tadpoles out of their heads and get home (because as nice as a world with a sun is, it's not Duskwall, and Smiler in particular would like to see their parents again plz)

-->Naturally, being pretty good-hearted people, they do the nice versions of the quests and help people out as much as possible -- though, also being a group of Shadows who nick things and sabotage schemes for their living, I can see them offering tips to the gang of tiefling children thieves and scam artists to help them in their chosen path. XD Also, Alice probably has to be talked out of killing Kagha right then and there when she threatens Arabella, and I'm not sure the snake survives THAT little encounter. Alice has a thing about people threatening children, as you might expect!

-->I foresee a lot of confusion on both sides about how different Duskwall and the Shattered Isles are from Faerun -- not just the sun thing, but also Victor having access to an entirely different form of magic (Gale in particular is like "wtf is this??? This is not Weave???"); the group not knowing what horses or cows are (both animals are extinct in their world) and having to be introduced to them -- while, on the flip side, being perfectly cool with eating rat; and the trio being briefly like "well, it's horrible what happened to that poor woman on the Nautiloid, but at least her ghost won't be slowly going insane and trying to feast on the life essence of the living" and the others being like "what." Leading to Victor, Alice, and Smiler learning that this world has an afterlife and being like D: as it dawns on them that the total destruction of the soul is not an accepted way to keep the world from being riddled from ghosts here. (The others are once again like "what the FUCK is wrong with your reality?")

-->Smiler spends a good portion of the early game looking for Us, before finally accepting sadly that the intellect devourer probably didn't survive the crash...and then they get to the mind flayer colony under Moonrise in Act Two and "Friend! You found the helm!" :D They are beyond happy to see Us and won't hear a word said against them from the other companions (who are naturally BAFFLED as to why Smiler wants an intellect devourer as a pet) -- and Us, for their part, is entirely loyal to their friend Smiler and all THEIR friends, because the kindness Smiler showed to them on the Nautiloid caused them to bond more closely with them than the rest of the hive :) Victor and Alice warm up to the little thing pretty quick, while the others...well, they get used to having a brain wandering around pretending to be a kitty. XD

-->Part of me would like Shar to somehow be responsible for the Shattered Isles no longer having a sun...and thus be real annoyed that people are still living in that world eight hundred and forty-seven years later (as Alice puts it, "you brought the darkness, and we just lit it back up again")

-->And in the "overpowered nonsense that wouldn't make it into any actual story stuff but is fun to think about," I enjoy pondering the possibility of the trio, when faced with the Avatar of Myrkul, using Victor's Whisper ghost-fighting stuff on it -- and successfully forcing it into a spirit bottle. I imagine the other companions would be like "how the FUCK did you bottle part of a GOD?!" while Myrkul would be just "...guess it beats dying again." Oh, and Withers finds it hilarious in his droll way. XD Bonus points for talking to Myrkul about what the damn plan with the Absolute even gets him, Myrkul realizing that he's somehow been had by the Netherbrain, and switching sides against his former compatriots because, yeah, this mind flayer invasion does NOT benefit him in any way, wtf.

-->Or, if you would like DIFFERENT godly intervention, I did have an idea where Mar-Mal is also able to access Faerun through the blessing they gave Smiler, and uses its influence to protect Smiler from the tadpole instead of Smiler having to rely on the Dream Visitor and the artifact. They task Smiler with spreading their influence and getting worshipers so Mar-Mal can do more on this plane, and Smiler happily talks up their god to anyone who will listen (also sharing what samples they have left of their Joy Serum). And fortunately for them, people are willing to throw at least a few prayers the way of a god of pure happiness...meaning that during the endgame, when it's time to fight the Netherbrain, Mar-Mal's gotten just enough power to come into Faerun, filling the sky with spiral clouds as they manifest. The gang still has to fight the Netherbrain, but it's easier as the Netherbrain is, um, a bit distracted trying to not be mindwarped by Mar-Mal! XD And once the threat is defeated, Mar-Mal is able to open up a temporary portal to bring Victor, Alice, and Smiler home. With the implication that they could get back eventually...like, say, in six months to catch up. :p

Whew -- bit more than I expected here! I don't know if anything is actually going to come from this -- I mean, I definitely have to get the REGULAR Valicer In The Dark stuff done first -- but it's fun to think about as I play the game. And it has inspired me to make a few not-incorrect quotes/shitposty scenes...

[victorluvsalice]

However, there are only so many puzzles you can do, as my family found out during the height of the pandemic. So it wasn't long before the gang started doing their own things again -- Smiler hopped back on their laptop to start modding Blicblock; Alice got back on the old travel easel and started painting again (first another surreal painting, then a flirty painting), and Victor went out in the rain to practice his Mischief magic -- and immediately learned Burgliate, the spell that lets you steal stuff. XD Welp then! Unsure what to do with him after that, and not wanting him to stay out in the rain (or, accurately, out in the THUNDERSTORM -- as you can see by that picture of the poor fried snorkeler, things were getting dangerous out there!), I had him go inside to use the toilet, then upgrade that and the sink because, hell, we already did the bed. *shrug* It's all Handiness skill! He then went to join Smiler at the kitchen table with some leftover fish for breakfast, and the two shared a few cute flirts as Alice finished up her flirty painting and discovered it was a masterpiece! :) Only a 5K one, though, so I decided she could keep that one to display rather than selling it. :p I was just having her go in and hit the toilet while Victor cleaned up his breakfast dishes --

When who should show up but one Leila Illes, to ask Smiler AGAIN if they wanted to be best friends. O.O WTF -- we established this yesterday, Leila! You're too new a friend to get that label! Smiler sent her packing a little more tersely this time, and she slumped out, all dejected. I can't say I feel too sorry for her, though -- I've never had a Sim who, after getting rejected for best friendship the previous day, and with the negative sentiments still active, showed up the following day to try again! O.o What the hell, game...

ANYWAY -- with Leila having learned a few things about boundaries (we hope), the cuteness continued with Alice getting her breakfast (some nice crumpets) and she and Victor chatting at the table while Smiler finished up their mods. Smiler, feeling peckish themselves at this point, then asked for a drink from Victor, which he was happy to give...

And then I was like "well, it IS their honeymoon" and sent them to woohoo again. XD What, it kept them busy! Much like showering in the rain kept Alice busy. *sigh* I got her dressed again, then -- once Victor and Smiler were done with their woohoo -- sent her in to have a nice makeout with Victor while Smiler tested their Blickblock mods with a game. Victor then settled in for a nap while Alice went outside to dance...

And once Victor's energy was mostly full, I was like "oh screw this -- I kind of wanted them home for Spookfest anyway" and had the gang end the vacation early and head home.

...and then I had to reload the save I had fortunately made right before that decision (right about when Victor went to bed) because I was like "oh shit, I left all their fish and leftovers and stuff in the fridge!" So I quickly grabbed all that and THEN sent them home. *whew* There have been a lot of moments in this game lately that emphasizes the importance of saving at key moments, haven't there? Save often, people! You never know when it'll save you!

[victorluvsalice]

Have you considered making a hypothetical forgotten vows version of smiler???

Oh, trust me, it was one of the first things I did. XD I've mentioned this more obliquely in other posts talking about my OT3 (notably the Thanksgiving "I fuckin' love Valicer" post), but here's a specific write up for my "Smiler in A Forgotten Vows AU" idea:

-->This would be one of those "Victor and Smiler knew each other first" AUs, with Victor and Smiler meeting at one of Nell's parties after she invited Dr. Kelman and his "son," maybe a year before the events of Corpse Bride -- the two end up hitting it off and becoming friends, then eventually lovers as their feelings take a turn to the romantic

-->They actually also experiment a bit with hypnosis during this time, because Smiler's actually a talented hypnotist in their own right, and they have some fun with it, with Victor enjoying the way Smiler occasionally fucks with his brain

-->Eventually, though, Victor's arranged marriage to Victoria Everglot is announced by Victor's parents. Victor, not wanting to marry a stranger when he's already in love, attempts to run away with Smiler, but it doesn't go off, instead revealing their relationship to their respective parents; Victor is dragged back to Burtonsville, and Smiler is sent off to rural Lithuania by Kelman to keep them apart. Victor, after an initial attempt to get back to Smiler, learns that they're no longer even in the country and, despairing of ever seeing them again, resigns himself to marrying Victoria

-->Cue the events of Corpse Bride (with Victor being briefly heartened by the fact that Victoria seems very nice and just like the kind of woman he could come to love, and then the whole "accidentally married a dead woman" thing happened, and then he's like "wtf I like the dead woman too the hell"), which lead into the events of the Forgotten Vows verse

-->Nell and William actually do ask Dr. Kelman to come in and make Victor socially compliant during the events of "Losing You"; Kelman, still steamed about Victor "corrupting" his "son," says no

-->When Victor ends up at Houndsditch and befriends Alice, he eventually tells her about his relationship with Smiler -- not all the details, of course, but enough that Alice knows that it was romantic (and that Smiler is a they/them); she asks why he doesn't try to run off to Lithuania himself to find them, and Victor admits that he's pretty sure he'd be caught before he could get any considerable distance away, and he has no idea where he'd start looking for Smiler

-->The rest of the events of "Finding You" and "Forgetting You" happen, along with the beginning of "Remembering You" (June, Dr. Wilson, and Victoria and Christopher White all showing up to help at Houdsditch/restore Victor's memories) -- and then, not long after, there's another knock at the door. Alice answers it to find an anxiously-smiling dark-haired green-eyed stranger on the doorstep, asking about Victor -- when questioned, they say they don't know if Victor mentioned them, but they used to be close: "I'm, uh -- well, I'm calling myself Smiler Alton these days--"

-->Oh Shit It's The Ex.jpg

-->Alice quickly realizes that maybe Smiler might have the best chance of helping get back some of Victor's memories and reintroduces them -- Victor DOES recall Smiler in bits and pieces, but of course Bumby's wall is making things difficult

-->Smiler also quickly picks up on the fact that Alice and Victor are in love now and stresses they don't want to come between them; they just want to have SOME presence in Victor's life (after spending quite a lot of time getting back from rural Lithuania to be with him again)

-->Smiler also smartly decides to tell Victor straight out "we had a relationship, it was sexual, hypnosis was involved" to get it out of the way -- Victor is initially furious ("YOU'RE the reason Bumby found me such a -- a--"), but soon realizes that Smiler of course isn't responsible for what Bumby did and never intended for him to get hurt :( They quickly patch things up, and Smiler does their best to help Victor remember more

-->However -- naturally, as they spend more time together, some old feelings start coming to the forefront. Smiler is awkward because they can see how much Victor and Alice love each other and really DON'T want to come between them (especially since they've become friends with Alice in the meantime); Victor is awkward because he's started having dreams where he's with Alice AND Smiler and of course he's feeling guilty about that

-->And Alice feels a bit jealous of their renewed connection, until Wonderland prompts her to examine her feelings in a little more depth; Alice does so, saying that what scares her is that Smiler will somehow take Victor away from her -- "I don't mind if Victor loves them, I just don't want to lose him! ...wait."

-->Oh Shit I'm Polyamorous?? I At Least Don't Mind Sharing?.jpg

-->Alice initially isn't sure how to bring this up, but then the whole "Victor's in love with both of us" thing comes up (maybe he has another nightmare, they both come to comfort him, and Victor ends up crying about how he's so sorry but he doesn't want to lose EITHER of them), and Alice explains her own feelings; Smiler is like "I don't mind sharing at ALL" and things get better as they decide to secretly have a V relationship

-->How Victor Regains His Memories -- while I love how I did it in the original universe, I feel like the fact that Smiler and Victor's relationship involved Smiler hypnotizing Victor needs to be involved. Specifically in the form of Smiler's old trigger phrase for Victor still working at least partially. Hmmm -- maybe instead of doing it alone in a dream, maybe Victor faces off against the wall while in a trance induced by Smiler, and Smiler and Alice are sitting with him in reality, offering encouragement as he busts his way through and kills the heart; cue delighted hugging and kissing when Victor awakes with his memories back

-->"Fixing You" is still a thing as Victor still has trauma after the fact to deal with, but Smiler comes along for the Wonderland ride (I'm thinking that, when talking to Fixxler about how "Travel Into Fantasy" works, Alice asks if they can somehow daisy-chain it to get it to work with three people (like she casts it for herself and Victor, and Victor casts it for himself and Smiler) -- Fixxler says "I have no idea but give it a try, love to hear the results"), and develops their own Otherland as Victor develops his. There would probably also be some stuff with Smiler dealing with the previous abrupt end of their relationship with Victor (with their anger at Kelman and maybe a little resentment that Victor didn't try harder to find them, even if they KNOW it would have been really hard for Victor to do) and their own worries about ending up an asshole like Bumby or Kelman

-->...Actually, them realizing "wait, Smiler's father is an evil psychiatrist too, even if he's not doing the extra-evil shit Bumby was doing" and somehow taking down him and his Sanctuary probably would be a whole extra story in this version of the verse

-->Endgame would have them all moving in together in Sandford, claiming Smiler needs the help getting back on their feet after returning to England -- if they never move out, and if they seem extremely close to Victor in particular, the people of Sandford mind their own business about it :p

...yeah, uh, definitely thought about this a lot more than I originally realized. XD But then again, producing dozens of AUs for my characters is kind of my THING on here...

[victorluvsalice]

What awaited them was -- not much. The unfortunate truth is that the Narwhal Arms is an EAxis build, and an EARLY one at that, from the second expansion pack. Meaning that while I got the general vibe they were going for, there just - wasn’t all that much to it. Beyond that one dance floor and those weird island counters that I GUESS were for sitting and having drinks? Seriously, wtf EA.

However, I refused to let this become a spontaneous building episode, so I decided NOT to try and do any major makeovers, instead limiting myself to upgrading the upstairs seating area with a better couch and a nice big TV so the gang could watch the New Year’s Countdown later. With that taken care of, I had everyone hit the dance floor to enjoy the DJ currently dropping the beat --

And had Smiler unleash Party Time! :D Yes, this time I remembered to have them take out their party bot and give it a whirl! It hung out near the edge of the dance floor, playing its own tunes and spraying confetti into the air for a bit of extra hype. And when the DJ ended their shift, not only did it become a convenient source of music --

It also became a convenient source of food! Yes, you can actually order food off the party bot! Its options are fairly limited, but it is free, so, you can’t really complain, can you? Alice ordered herself up a nice grilled cheese midway through the party, while Victor later followed with some classic mac and cheese. :) I kinda love how the food just appears on top of it like a hat. XD

Anyway -- dance parties are pretty simple, in that there is no goal other than to enjoy yourself. And enjoy themselves the gang did, dancing to the music (when there was some) and chatting with each other. Smiler inspired some party spirit with party horns and suchlike, while Victor retreated upstairs for a bit to watch New Year’s Eve TV. As did most of the other revelers. . .yeah, as it turns out, maybe putting a super-expensive TV right at the top of the seating area wasn’t the best idea, as everyone kept wandering up there to stand around and watch. Guys, come on, I invited you here to dance -- go and get hype with the new DJ!

[victorluvsalice]

-->And then, while having Smiler feed the chickens, I took another look over at the greenhouse as Victor finished up with his oversized crops and WTF HAPPENED TO ALL HIS PLANTS?! Seriously, almost his ENTIRE GREENHOUSE randomly reverted to dirt piles! *facepalm* They don’t really NEED the produce right now, but...yeah, I picked up a certain gardening fix off Little Miss Sam’s tumblr after this particular playsession. *grumble*

-->Anyway -- Smiler tended the chickens, then went and made another mechanism (still with no zappage! Hooray for that) before going back out to the coop and trying to get a couple of the hens to like them (as they needed a bit of attention). The chickens still seem largely uninterested in them, but at least none of them hate them?

-->Alice, for her part, wolfed out and went on a hunt because she was hungry, and this brought her over the line to get another ability point! After some thought, I put it into the “Tunneler” power, because a quick way to get places is always good.

-->It was around this time that I realized, “hey, wait -- where did all the gnomes go after Harvestfest? I haven’t seen them in a while.” So I went looking around the lot, expecting them to be somewhere in the garden...

Nope. Up in Smiler’s party barn. With fifty million seed packets around them. XD Oh dear. Fortunately Victor was only too happy to go upstairs and clean up the plants while I scattered the gnomes around the greenhouse and in front of the chicken coop. Mostly duplicates of stuff he already had, but if he wants to plant begonias or daisies in the future, he’s got them now!

-->The gang then settled into doing creative stuff -- Alice some painting, Smiler some guitar playing and clay molding -- but it wasn’t long before I came to a decision -- namely, that I had to get them over to Finchwick so Victor could finally deliver his eggs to Kim, and then to Brindleton Bay so they could have a shot at adopting Kelly the cat and Shadow the dog! And so I had Victor (who was already starting to feel tired) down some sleep replacement, and sent the whole gang out to Finchwick to drop off the eggs! Alice and Smiler kept themselves occupied chatting in front of the pub while Victor made his delivery -- Kim thanked him and gave him a grocery delivery coupon, a livestock pen upgrade part, and a free Fruity Treat, along with the recipe! Not a bad reward. Victor joined his loves in front of the pub, and I figured I’d be right off to Brindleton Bay...