#Wish it was a lot different - I miss my sisters - I miss my mom

[sastielsfandom]

Five years ago I didn't think I'd just be shitposting majority of the time, occasionally dropping original works, but mostly just having fun writing fics for fun while also having a crushing weight of sorrow from my family falling apart and being spread out. Having to ask for help, pushing down the guilt and shame I feel everytime that only washes away for a second as it goes to my family and doubles when I have to rinse and repeat. Five years ago I barely had the confidence to post silly stuff and no one knew anything about me really and now whenever I post I see the same three tags that I can't touch anymore because it weighs to heavy for me. And so many people are aware of my name something I swore I'd never share, I went by a different name so it wouldn't happen and it's useless now. Five years ago my family was strong and thriving, now we're barely surviving and I don't know what it looks like anymore. In some ways I'm proud of what I've become and in so many other ways, it doesn't feel like me, and I'm tired of constantly living in survival mode. Life's a beautiful disappointment.

[traveler-at-heart]

Lessons of Love

Summary: So, Nerd!Natasha and Fem!R, their first date and everything fluffy. I just have a lot of thoughts about them and maybe this will be a series (and it will eventually contain G!P Natasha so if that's not your thing, you've been warned). Nerd!Natasha x Fem!Rogers Reader

Don’t count the days, make the days count.

Natasha’s father had told her that as if it was ancient wisdom and not a fortune cookie message.

It was also easier to say it when you didn’t have to attend high school. There were days when she couldn’t cope with it, like when the football team was agitated before a match, or there was some drama around the most popular people in school.

Those times were a stark reminder that Natasha had no one to talk to, a confidant to mock the jocks or a friend to share the gossip with.

Genius comes with a cost.

That one was her mom’s way of comforting Natasha.

She was the smartest person in school, miles above her peers. What she didn’t have in social intelligence, she more than made up with a sharp, quick and brilliant mind.

But as she entered the chem lab, and took a seat at the last table where she was always alone, Natasha wished that things could be different.

If only for a day.

“Morning, everyone” professor Fury greeted as people went to their seats. “You might have heard about an explosion during class” the few giggles that were heard were quickly silenced by Fury’s glare. “So, to keep this from happening again, we’ll switch the teams for the rest of the semester”

Natasha’s heart raced. What if people could choose and then she’d end up front of the class, everyone staring because no one picked her?

“So, alphabetically” Fury read the list, Natasha going over the name that was before hers…

Rogers.

She looked at you, sitting next to Wanda on one of the first tables. You waved at the twins when their names were called, laughing at Wanda’s annoyed stare. Being paired with her brother meant she’d do most of the work while he fooled around.

“Rogers and Romanoff”

Natasha saw you gathering your things and looking around. When you found her, a smile broke out and you walked to join her in the back of the room.

How does one greet the most popular girl in school? Head of cheerleaders, little sister of legendary quarterback Steve Rogers, not to mention the most beautiful girl in all of Shield High.

Not that Natasha was paying attention.

“Hey, Natty” you greeted, sitting next to her and looking around. “Wow, you can really see everything from here”

“I-I guess”

Natasha wanted to crawl under the table and hide. What was she supposed to talk about?

“Guess it’s my lucky day” you said, unable to deal with the silence. Natasha had a hard time understanding if you were being sarcastic. “I mean, you’re the capitan of the Science Club. So, that makes you the best partner anyone could hope for in Chemistry”

Natasha didn’t have time to answer, as Fury finally started with the lesson. Once he gave you all the instructions and wrote some exercises on the board, everyone went silent. Of course, Natasha was done in half the time.

“Show off” you teased and felt your heart beating faster when Natasha actually laughed.

“Want help?” she offered and you went over your notes, nodding.

“I think I got most of them except… this one?” you pointed with your pencil. Natasha leaned, reading again and pulling her chair closer to yours.

“You see, when you choose a coefficient, try to select one as low as possible”

“And that would affect all of the atoms in the molecule” you said and Natasha nodded. “Ok, I think I got it”

But the redhead kept staring as you began to write again, and you poked her side.

“Stop it, Romanoff”

You went back to work, missing the way Natasha blushed at the physical contact.

“Good. Now, I want you to get to know each other even better, so you’ll do a project for next class. Do not sass me, youths” Fury raised his voice as everyone began to protest.

“We’ve known each other our whole lives, can we skip this one?” Pietro said while pointing to his sister, and everyone laughed.

“No” Fury said, turning to write on the board again. “Do some research on why it’s important to balance chemical equations and what other parts of chemistry rely on this skill. Bonus points for concrete examples where it helped advance important research on other fields”

He dismissed the class, and everyone began to pack their bags to move to the next session.

“So… uh… how do you wanna do this? Wanna meet somewhere?” Natasha said, unfamiliar with team projects. Teachers would let her work alone, because pairing her with someone meant she’d do all the work and split the credit.

“Yeah, not my place though. The boys have their weekly pool game after football practice and they can get so loud” you rolled your eyes, walking out of the classroom next to the girl.

Natasha’s stomach turned at the idea of being anywhere near the school jocks.

“So, the school library?” you offered, giving her a way out in case her house was off limits.

“I think my mom has more books about it than the library”

Damn it, where did that come from? She couldn’t handle a class with you and now she was suggesting her place? Where would you even work? And Melina would make some embarrassing remark, or Alexei would ask a million questions and say something silly…

“Yeah, cool. I’ll stop by after cheerleading practice”

“Let me give you the address”

“Natty, I know where you live” you chuckled, surprised that she seemed surprised. “Remember your birthday party? I was there”

“That was like seven years ago”

“Yeah, so? I remember” you smiled. “Gotta run, see you later”

Natasha stared as you walked to History class. You turned around one last time, smiling shyly and waving at her.

Natasha waved back, her cheeks turning red at being caught staring.

Crap, she wasn’t going to survive this assignment.

—

You went up the steps, fixing your hair before ringing the doorbell.

God, how were you going to manage this afternoon with Natasha? You were barely able to keep it together during class.

You were still torn on how to manage your fight or flight response when the door opened.

“Y/N!” Natasha’s sister practically shouted your name.

“Hey, Yelena. I’m here to…”

“You know my name” the girl said.

“Well, yeah, you’re Nat’s sister”

Speak of the devil.

“Yelena!” Natasha went down the stairs in record time.

“What?” Yelena said, talking back as soon as Natasha switched to Russian. They went back and forth for a while, and you stood outside, wondering if you’d ever manage to get in.

“Sorry about that” Nat finally turned to you, Yelena leaving the room in a rush.

“No worries. I couldn’t understand you. Literally”

“My room’s this way” Natasha said, scratching the back of her neck.

A second later, she regretted letting you go up the stairs first. Your skirt moved with each step you took, toned legs in full display. Natasha had to pray she wouldn’t trip on the way up.

“Which door?” you turned to look at her, her ears red. You bit your lip, trying not to think how adorable she looked all flustered.

“The one on the right” she pointed and you nodded, waiting for her to tell you it was ok to open it.

“Wow” you said, looking around at the shelves full of books and scale models of different machines.

“You can take the chair if you want” Natasha offered her desk, and you were so busy reading the titles of the books you almost didn’t hear her.

“Oh, that’s ok. I can sit on the bed” you said, placing your backpack in the corner. You pulled out your laptop and opened a new tab. “I was thinking we can get all the info we need, and then decide how to organize it. I’ll write a draft and you can review it”

It was Natasha’s turn to be distracted, appreciating the way you leaned against her headboard, stretching your arms above your head.

“I-I got some books from my mom’s study.  Let me find the right one…” she sat on the floor and you laid on your stomach, your heads at the same height as you looked over her shoulder.

Natasha began reading and taking notes, while you reviewed some articles on your laptop.

“Ready”

“Ok” you said, changing to sit next to her on the floor. Natasha felt your shoulder against her arm, and your sweet parfume invaded her senses.

You always smelled good. And looked so pretty. It was hard to focus but she managed just enough to dictate some of the things she’d found useful.

“You don’t have to write this down, but let me know if you think any of it is interesting for the paper” she said, and you really wanted to pay attention, but your eyes kept drifting to her lips. “Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, I’m boring you” Natasha said, closing the book and looking dejected. She was about to put it away when you reached for her hand, sitting up.

“Now hold on. You weren’t boring me”

“It’s ok”

“Nat, look at me” you asked. The redhead seemed to forget you had moved closer when you reached for her hand, and when she turned to look at you, you were inches apart.

“I…”

Was she looking at your lips? Were you leaning forward? Did she want this?

You didn’t have time to find out, as the door to Natasha’s room opened and you jumped back.

“Oh! Yelena was telling the truth”

“Hi, Mrs. Romanoff” you greeted, hoping she didn’t notice your cheeks turning pink.

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you. Why are you sitting on the floor? Natalia, where are your manners?”

“Mom”

“No, that’s ok. I prefer the floor. Your hydrengias are looking spectacular, by the way” you tried to change the subject.

“Thanks to you! You were right about the change of place. Oh, I should have sent you a plate of cookies, you helped me with it and I didn’t even thank you”

“That’s ok, Mrs. Romanoff”

“Well if you want to stay for dinner, you’re more than welcomed” Melina turned to her daughter, with a more serious demeanor. “And you, remember to put those books right where they belong. I have a very particular system”

“Yes, Ma’am” 

“So…”

“I…”

You both spoke at the same time. 

“Sorry” you tried to breathe, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “You were saying?”

“I didn’t know you spoke to my mom about flowers?”

“Oh, that” you blushed and Natasha bit her lip, drinking in every word you said. “Yeah, Mom and I ran into her at the farmer’s market. They were talking about plants and we gave her some tips. That’s how we spend quality time, working on the garden”

Natasha nodded, but you still stared at her.

“Can I ask you something?” you said, looking at her lips. Natasha swallowed and nodded. “I… uh… why was Yelena acting weird when she saw me?”

That’s not what you meant to ask, but you had lost your courage.

“Oh…” the redhead looked disappointed. Or were you imagining things? “She’s obsessed with joining the cheerleading squad, and you being the President…”

“I’m not, anymore” you blurted out, surprising even yourself. “I mean, I’m still on the team… but I thought Pepper would do a better job” 

“But they won the Nationals last year because of you” Natasha protested, and you were taken aback by her sudden rage. “There’s no one better than you”

“That’s really sweet, Nat” you placed your hand on hers. “But it’s for the best. Trust me. I’ll have more time to focus on the school paper or… I don’t know, dating?”

“I guess you could do that…” Natasha said, looking at your hands. For the second time in the day, your eyes found hers and then traveled to those beautiful lips.

“Y/N!” 

Bucky shouted from the door. Damn it.

“My ride’s here” you said, disappointed. Natasha nodded, standing up and offering her hand to help you up. You took it, surprised at her strength. 

A gasp left your lips when you were face to face, inches away from her lips. All you had to do was step forward and stand on your toes…

“Y/N/N” Bucky insisted and you had to control the urge to tell him to go to hell.

“Sorry. I have enough notes to write something. Can I text you once it’s done?”

“Sure, let me give you my number”

“I already have it…” you blurted out, trying to hide your face.

“How?”

Now, this time you were grateful for Bucky’s insistence. 

“Coming, Buck! See you later?” 

“Yeah. I’ll walk you out” 

You nodded, allowing Natasha to lead you to the front door. Her father, coach Romanoff, was chatting with Bucky at the door.

“Good practice today” Alexei said and Bucky nodded.

“Thanks, coach” he then turned to you, offering his hand to get your bag. “Ready to go, doll?”

“Yeah. Thanks for having me, Nat. Say bye to your mom and Yelena for me?” 

“Sure”

An uncomfortable feeling took over Natasha as you walked next to Bucky, watching him take your bag and carry it for you. You laughed at something he said while he opened the car door for you and then drove away.

“They make a cute couple, don’t they?” Alexei said, but Natasha shrugged her shoulders and went back to her room, almost knocking Melina over on the way up the stairs. “Did I say something wrong?”

—

Natasha felt weird doing it, but she couldn’t help herself. 

She only opened an Instagram account to watch cool science videos. But she knew your username because Yelena followed you and now, she was acting like a creep, looking at your profile.

In search of what? She wasn’t sure. Maybe proof that you were dating Barnes.

“Hey” Yelena walked into her room and Natasha dropped her phone. “Ew, were you watching porn?”

“What? No! What do you want?” Natasha said, the blush in her cheeks only making her seem guilty.

“Well, just wanted to ask you if Y/N mentioned anything about this year’s tryouts?”

“No, we didn’t really talk about… that”

Natasha didn’t mention the conversation you had about stepping down as president. She had a feeling that was private.

“Ok, go back to watching porn” Yelena said, closing the door before Natasha could throw a pillow her way.

Then, her phone pinged and Natasha looked at it as if it was a cursed object. 

Unknown number: Hey, Nat. I have a draft ready. Lmk if I can send it to you

Natasha: Hi. Sure thing, I’m not doing anything

Damn it, way to be a loser, Natasha. 

She didn’t even wait a few minutes to reply.

Y/N: Ok, should be on your email now.

Natasha: Thnx, reading now.

Y/N: Gotta get ready for dinner. It was nice seeing you today.

Y/N: Outside of school, I mean.

Y/N: So… yeah. Anyway. I’m being weird, haha. Talk soon. 

Y/N: XO

Natasha’s heartbeat sped up with every new text. She caught herself reading them over and over again.

She didn’t have time to worry about what to reply, because her mother came knocking.

“Dinner’s ready. You can take your time… Yelena told me you were busy.”

“Oh, my GOD!” Natasha jumped out of bed, opening the door. “I am not… watching porn!”

“She said you were stalking Y/N’s instagram” Melina said, turning to find her youngest daughter holding a laugh.

“сука” Natasha screamed, running after her.

“Papa, help!” Yelena screeched, going down the stairs. 

“Language! And no running inside the house!” 

Melina sighed. With the way Natasha was looking at you today, she had a feeling that parenting was going to be even more complicated now.

--

Throughout the week, you never left Natasha’s mind. It was a strange feeling. She’d never dwelled on social interactions that much, thinking it wasn’t worth her time. 

But still, when Friday came, she was excited because you shared English class as well. 

And there you were, leaning against the door, speaking to Barnes. Again. Natasha sighed, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach at the way you laughed with him, smacking his arm playfully.

As usual, the redhead kept her head down and went to the last table of the classroom, where she could be left alone. Only, you walked straight to her as soon as Professor Harkness started the lesson.

“Hey” you greeted, sitting next to Natasha. 

“H-hi”

“Sorry, do you want me to find another place to sit?” you said, looking around the room. 

“No!” Natasha practically shouted, making you flinch. “I’m sorry. No, you can sit here”

You nodded, occupying the chair next to hers. It was going to be a slow day, as Ms. Harkness set up the projector to show a documentary about Patricia Highsmith. 

“You have to write a report about this so pay attention” the professor said, taking a seat to start the film.

While the documentary played, your mind kept drifting back to Natasha, sitting a few inches away from you. Truth be told, you had always found her to be beautiful, intriguing… but after spending an afternoon with her, those moments when you touched hands or locked eyes, kept replaying in your head. 

Instead of taking notes, you decided to execute a plan that was saved for the next Chemistry lesson. Drawing on a sheet of paper, you created a game of hangman, double checking the number of letters for each of the three words. 

Without looking at Natasha, you pushed the sheet her way. She looked at it for a second too long, and then at you. You were beginning to regret the whole thing, and then she underlined the letter T. You smiled, writing on the designated place.

Natasha took her time analyzing the sheet, but by the time the lesson was over, she had guessed some of the letters.

_o_i_   o_   _ _ tur _ _ y ?

The bell rang, and as the lights were turned back on, you looked at her, smiling nervously. 

“So… want me to tell you what it says? Or, you can take the sheet and text me if you figure it out?” 

God, you sounded so desperate. No wonder Natasha looked at you as if you had grown a second head. 

“I’ll take it” she smiled, placing it between her notebook and walking out.

“Actually, Nat…” you went after her. Why not just ask straight away and see what happened?

“Yes?” she said, turning to look at you. Truth be told, she was anxious to get out. Your proximity had distracted her during the entire class. And it only got worse when you slid that sheet her way, and she saw the way you were biting your lip nervously.

She had to force herself to look away from your lips. 

“I was thinking, if you’re not too busy…”

“Go on a date with me”

You were both taken aback by the interruption. The words were stolen right out of your mouth by a junior student, Peter Parker. He was staring at Natasha excitedly. 

“Never mind” you grumbled, rolling your eyes and walking away. 

Natasha flashed an angry glare at Peter, but you were walking down the hallway at record speed.

“What is wrong with you?” Natasha said. Peter was a year younger, but knew the redhead from science club. 

“Sorry, it’s just that I… those were the words that came out of my mouth to ask MJ out. MJ! And she said yes!”

“Yeah, start with that next time” 

Natasha spotted you across the hall, talking to Thor. Of course. 

“I have to go” Natasha pushed the boy aside.

She was so distracted, she never noticed where she was going until she opened the door to the computer room, where Barnes was making out with another senior, Sharon Carter. 

“Knock, damn it” Barnes said, but Sharon smacked his arm, looking stern.

“Don’t be a dick, James”

Natasha wanted to call Barnes a lot more than a dick, because who on their right mind would cheat on you? She stared at him a second longer, too angry to even speak, and then turned around, shutting the door behind her. 

You deserved so much better than Barnes. 

—

Y/N: Were you able to figure it out?

Natasha kept staring at her phone. She hadn’t replied to your message since yesterday and the longer she waited, the worse she felt.

Should she tell you about Barnes? Would you believe her? Or would you call her the worst name in the book and refuse to be in the same class as her? 

The girl was pacing around in her room, but of course Yelena chose that moment to play her music at full volume. Natasha let out an exasperated sigh, going to her sister’s room.

“Turn it down!” she yelled from outside, knocking several times to get Yelena’s attention. “Yelena? Your music is too damn…” let the record show she had tried to knock. Natasha walked into Yelena’s room without permission, ready to get into a screaming match with her sister. What she didn’t expect was to see you sitting on her bed, while Yelena showed you different things on her closet.

“I told you it was very loud, Yel” you said, smiling at the girl and then at Natasha, who took a step forward to shut the music down. “Hey, sorry about the noise”

“I don’t recall giving you permission to come in, sestra” Yelena said, examining a t-shirt and her favorite vest. She turned to you. “What about this?” 

“Yeah, that’s better. And hair braided, don’t forget that. Pepper and all the other girls love braids. I think the ones Natasha wears sometimes are really… uh, pretty”

You didn’t mean to sound like a creep, but of course you had noticed Natasha’s fiery hair braided from time to time. 

“So, since you’re standing there and made me turn off my music” Yelena turned to her sister, showing the outfit. “What do you think? Tryouts are on Monday and Y/N is helping me pick an outfit”

“That one’s nice” Natasha nodded, trying to avoid your stare. She thought she had today and tomorrow to figure out what to do over Barnes. But what if you came to talk to her and she just blurted the whole thing out?

So, she excused herself and thought it would be better to hide in her room. Peace didn’t last long, though.

“Knock!” Natasha grumbled when her sister got in. 

“Hey, you didn’t knock either just now. I wanted to ask if you got the tickets for the movie”

“Yes, of course I did”

“Good. I can’t go with you, so you should take Y/N”

“Wait, what?” Natasha hissed, trying to not lose it at Yelena’s ridiculous antics. “You can’t just cancel like that and she probably doesn’t even want to…”

“Ask her” 

“What?”

“Ask her. Or if you’re too afraid, I can do it for you. But honestly, Natalia. Just do it. You’re both driving me crazy”

Natasha didn’t know what Yelena meant by that, so she just rolled her eyes and sighed.

“I’ll ask her, I don’t want it to seem like my little sister has to arrange my outings”

“Fine. I’m getting some water, you should do it now. Don’t pass out” Yelena winked, knowing her sister could barely handle social interactions.

 Natasha felt her heartbeat strong in her chest, but didn’t wait too long before going back to Yelena’s room. She knew her sister meant it and would absolutely ask you out on Nat’s behalf.

“Hey, Y/N” she walked into the room, door ajar.

“Hey. What’s up? Want to try on outfits with us?” you joked. In spite of her nerves, Natasha smiled.

“I wanted to ask if you wanna go to the movies”

“Really?” you smiled. “What time?”

“It starts in an hour so… we can leave in thirty minutes if it works for you”

“Yeah. Awesome”

You didn’t think about asking which movie or anything else really. The fact Natasha had asked you was all you cared about. The redhead left the room once her sister came back, trying to hide her anxiety. Yelena gave her a knowing look, and kept chatting with you but wasn’t surprised to find you smiling out of nowhere, distracted and constantly checking your watch.

Once it was time to go, Natasha waited downstairs to drive you both to the movies. The ride there was quiet at first, until you reached out for the radio.

“Very cool” you praised when OK Go came on. “Their best music video is for I won’t let you down”

“What? No way! This too shall pass. That Rube Goldberg machine was insane”

“But what about all the extras and the umbrellas? Imagine the coordination it took. I tried to talk the girls into doing it for Nationals but they said I was insane”

Natasha laughed at that, humming along to the song, feeling more relaxed. You also smiled, and enjoyed watching her drive. She looked hot as she held the wheel. 

As you were arriving to the theater, you mentioned Barnes and how he always forgot to get the tickets and once again, Natasha’s anxiety came back. 

She was quiet as she parked and you both exited the car. 

“Wait. I’m sorry. I can’t do this” 

“Do what? What’s wrong?” you looked at her, searching her eyes. 

“Please don’t hate me” she pleaded.

“Natty, I could never” you shook your head, the term of endearment almost leaving Nat out of breath. 

“I saw… Barnes and Sharon Carter kissing in the computer room. I’m sorry”

“Ew. Yeah, they tend to do that anywhere they can. I’m the one who’s sorry you had to see it” you laughed, but the sound died down when Natasha looked at you as if you had grown a second head.

“Aren’t you dating Barnes?” she said, trying to understand everything.

“What? Gross. He’s like my other brother. Slightly less annoying than Steve, that’s for sure” 

“You’re serious?” Natasha said, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“I’m very serious and very much single… waiting for a pretty girl to come sweep me off my feet” you said, smiling as Natasha blushed. You took her hand, going inside the theater. “Come on, the movie is starting soon”

You waited in line for the candy store, her hand still in yours. Once it was time to get your stuff, you stood behind her, looking over her shoulder by standing on your toes. Natasha blushed at the contact, your chin resting against her shoulder while you asked the clerk for some chocolate.

“Let me” Natasha said, paying before you could give the man money. 

“Chivalry isn’t dead” you said, enjoying how much she was blushing. You smiled, helping her with the soda and finally going inside the room. 

“So, what are we watching?”

“It’s this new zombie movie, like found footage”

“Oh, cool” you muttered, feeling the palms of your hands get sweaty. 

“Sorry, I didn’t even ask if you were ok with that”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just a bit of a chicken” you laughed, settling in your seat. You hoped Natasha didn’t think you were lame and as the movie started, you really did try to be brave. And then a zombie came jumping through a window and you hid your face behind your hands. 

“Hey, it’s ok” Natasha took your hand. “We can leave if you want to” 

“No, I’m fine” you said, forgetting about the movie as soon as her hand let go of yours, arm going around your shoulders to comfort you. 

No way were you leaving now.

You leaned against her chest, hiding when something scary was about to happen. Natasha held you close, her hand going up and down your back in a soothing manner. 

Who knew all it took was some scary zombies to get close to her…

The movie didn’t last as long as you’d have liked, but still, you were happy when she kept holding on to your hand as you left the cinema.

“That was fun” you commented and Natasha let out a laugh. “What?”

“You were hiding half the movie”

“Maybe I liked that part the most” you challenged, pleased when she blushed again. “But next time, we’re watching a rom com or a sci-fi movie.”

“I’d like that” Natasha said and you were looking at her lips when your phone rang. “Want a ride home?”

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to”

“It’s not a problem. Come on” she walked next to you, opening the car door. 

“What else do you listen to?” you played with the radio, going from A-Punk, to Keane and Travis. “Really good taste”

“What about you?”

“Anything really. I have like 45 playlists that are completely random. I could send you one if you’d like” 

“Yeah, I’d like that” Natasha nodded. You smiled, enjoying the view (and by view you meant Natasha, her fingers tapping against the wheel) for the rest of the ride. 

Once you got home, she opened the car door for you again. You didn’t move from your spot next to her, enjoying the proximity.

“Nat?”

“Yes?”

“I like you” you said without a warning, and it was hard to tell who was more embarrassed, you or Nat. “I’m sorry for being so forward but I think I needed you to know. I’m thinking about kissing you and holding your hand and…”

For the first time in her life, Natasha did something without thinking. She pulled you by the waist, connecting her lips to yours. You groaned in surprise, but sighed against her mouth a second later. Your hands went up her neck, to keep her close to you as you moved your lips against hers.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself”

“Never apologize for doing that” you smiled, leaning your forehead against her shoulder. Natasha smiled, kissing your temple. “Are you good to drive?”

“Yeah” she nodded.

“Ok. I don’t want you to do it if you’re distracted or something. It could be dangerous, you know?” you rambled and Natasha saw genuine concern behind your words.

“I’ll text you when I’m home, how about that?”

“Yes, please” you sighed with relief. “Be careful. And thank you for today” without being able to help yourself, you stood on your toes and pecked her lips one more time.

Natasha got in the car, smiling as she drove back home. True to her promise, she texted you as soon as she arrived. 

She was expecting Yelena to greet her with a million questions, but the girl was back in her room, still listening to music.

Going back to her own room, she found the game of hangman you had done for her, now complete with Yelena’s handwriting.

Natasha was really clueless.

Movie on Saturday?

This whole time, you were asking her out. Natasha took a picture of the paper and sent it to her sister.

Nat: You went through my stuff.

Sestra: Ur welcome.

Natasha would never hear the end of it. Her phone pinged again.

Y/N: Glad you’re home safe. 

Y/N: Still thinking about that kiss.

Y/N: So… yeah. When’s our second date?

Coming to think of it, she was happy to pay that price. 

[lunajay33]

Mothers Daughter🕊️

Summary: Being the youngest of the winchesters had its ups and downs, but being the only girl made you miss out on a female figure, so the only thing you can do is ask the men around you about your mother

Pairing: Dean Winchester x lil sister, Sam Winchester x lil sister, John Winchester x daughter

•Masterlist•

You never got to meet you mother she died 6 months after you were born, well when you and Sam were born, he was older than you by 5 minutes and still treated you like his little sister but you couldn’t ask for 2 better bigger brothers, they were always there for you and made sure you were okay

Being the youngest and only girl in the family it got hard sometimes, when you were little it wasn’t as big of a deal, John treated you like his little girl and loved you dearly always reminding you that you looked like Mary, your brothers treating you like a princess and let you play with dolls, but as you got older and you got more woman problems it was hard to handle since there was no motherly figure to turn too

You woke up in the motel you were currently staying at with John, Sam and Dean, late at night you got up feeling groggy and your stomach aching so bad, nothing like you’ve ever felt before, you got to the bathroom looking in the mirror seeing how pale you had gotten, thinking maybe it was just something you ate you went to use the washroom but when you pulled down your pants all you see is blood and you panic

You pull your pants back up dropping to the ground when another wave of pain hits your lower stomach

“DADDY!” You scream out scared you might be serious sick

He runs in frantic looking around for danger, probably thinking something supernatural was out to get you, he kneeled infront of you brushing your hair back

“Baby what’s wrong?”

“Somethings wrong, I’m bleeding a lot and….and it hurts so bad” you say breathing heavy just wishing for him to take you pain away

“Oh princess, it’s your period every woman goes through it, I’ll run out and get you some pads and pain killers, drink some water I’ll be right back”

When he left Sam and Dean came and sat with you on the bathroom floor, doing everything they could to comfort you, but you were still confused on what was happening

That happened when you were 14 and after John explained to you what a period was you felt so different from your brothers, every month you had to go through pain while they carried on with hunting, having to go through bouts of random emotions was irritating but what was worse was having your body change and not knowing what to do

“Damn sis your legs are just about as hairy as mine” Dean laughed as we were all sat around in another motel, you felt so embarrassed covering your legs under the blankets

“Dean enough” John said as he saw your bottom lip tremble

“Daddy I don’t understand why do I have to change like this my legs are hairy and my boobs are getting bigger and I don’t feel comfortable”

“Come on princess I’ll take you shopping”

He took you to a drug store find a training bra that fit comfortably and some razors, the drive home was a little quiet

“I’m sorry daddy, I don’t mean to inconvenience you I know you have a lot on your plate right now with this werewolf case”

“It’s not your fault, and you’re not an inconvenience, just wish your mother was here to help guide you on this”

Your mother was a sore topic for the family which is all the more reason you wish you knew her, they barely talk about her

You got back to the motel room and Sam was already asleep but Dean was up watching tv still, John got ready for bed while you sat at the little table working on some homework Dean coming to sit with you, he was 19 so he didn’t have to do any schooling anymore

“Dean can I ask you something?” You sighed putting your pencil down

“Sure kid, what’s got your little head worrying?”

“Do you….i mean I never knew her but…..do you like mom would have liked me?”

He looked surprised not expecting that question, you saw John come out of the washroom seeing Dean expression and your nervous state

“What’s going on?”

“She…..she asked if mom would have liked her”

You were scared that he was going to yell at you, but you were just so desperate to have a mom or even a older strong woman figure to look up to

“Daddy I’m sorry I just…..I feel so different and you always say I remind you of mom, I just miss someone I never knew and it hurts”

“I’m not made princess, I’m sorry you and the boys don’t have your mother but I’m trying my best, and your mother would have loved you, I remember when she found out she was having twins she was so excited and when you were born and we saw you were a little girl she always said she felt this connection with you, how she’d cradle you and you’d immediately relax against her, she had so much planned for you Angel, she told me to wait till your 16th birthday to give you this but it’s close enough” he got up rummaging through his bag pulling out a little box

You opened it to see a silver necklace with a protection charm, just like the one John had tattooed

“I love it, thank you, I hope where ever she is she’s proud of me”

“Hey kid, we’re all proud of you” Dean smiled helping you put the necklace on

“She couldn’t have left me with better protectors, I love all three of you”

“Love you too princess, forever”

You were 22 now and on a run with all three Winchester boys, you had just finished getting the colt back from some vampires and trying to make a game plan so that John would accept you help, Sammy was driving and you and Dean were in the back

“Daddy please just take a break for a second, let us help I…….i miss you” bright lights burned you eyes before everything crashed and everything went black

You opened your eyes to see you were in a field full of flowers, not a worry in the world just the calming feeling of wind in your hair, bees buzzing by, no vampires or demons or anything just peace, then a woman in white appeared next to you

“You’re so beautiful” she smiled brushing your hair back

“Who are you?”

“I’m your mother dear, don’t tell me those boys haven’t showed you a picture of me” you shook your head but then you realized what she said, your mother was sitting next to you

“Mom…..it’s you!” You wrapped your arms around her feeling her warmth that you craved for

“But if it’s really you then…..am I dead?” You asked scared

“You got in a crash, the boys are waiting for you back there but if you want you can stay with me, we can be happy just mother and daughter, you can stay with me”

“But I haven’t lived yet, I don’t wanna leave Sammy or Dean and I can’t leave dad like that, I just got him back”

“It’s your choice baby, but either way I’m always with you” she said pointing at my necklace

A bright light above stung your eyes slowly coming into focus, seeing everyone surrounding you bed

“There she is, god sis you terrified us” Sam said wrapping his arms around you

“Princess why are you crying?” John asked worried your in pain

“I saw her” you whispered still in shock

“I think she still got drugs in her system” Dean laughed

“No I saw her, it was mom” everyone went still

“She said I could stay with her, wherever I was it was peaceful and free of evil but….i had to come back I just got you back dad and I can’t just leave my brothers you’ll tear eachother apart without me here” you smile

“I ain’t leaving anytime soon baby girl”

You went to sit up but pain shot through your body

“Good driving Sam, how is it you all look like you got in a little bar fight and I’m the one in this hospital bed…….any serious damage?”

“Doc said you got a concussion, broken rib and some nasty cuts on your face”

“But I’ll be okay?”

“We won’t let anything happen to you, never again”

Requests are open for supernatural or the walking dead:)🩶

[suuuupernovaaa]

kavuk si

kavuk si [English] vin. betray

Neteyam has chosen a woman, and you know it isn’t you.

1,471 words

Fishing was supposed to clear my mind and calm my nerves, but I was throwing my spear too forcefully, and it was making the fish almost unusable. Plus, I was missing a lot, and that was only serving to further fuel my anger and frustration.

“It’s just a rumor,” my sister said again as I huffed and pulled my spear from the sandy riverbed.

“It is not,” I replied. “His own mother is said to have confirmed it. He has chosen.”

Even without looking at her, I knew Kawti was rolling her eyes behind me. It had been my wish to come fishing alone, but there wasn’t much I had truly done alone since Kawti was born 13 years ago. Despite our seven year age difference, she was my best friend, and I was usually happy to have her along.

Just - not today. All morning, all anyone at home could talk about was how the eldest son of Toruk Makto was finally going to choose a woman, and he was going to make his declaration soon. I knew, in my heart, that Neteyam would have told me already if I was his choice. Just last night we had gone hunting together, and I had eaten the evening meal with his family - he had plenty of opportunity to tell me himself.

Even though we hadn’t exactly expressed how we’d felt, I thought I had been pretty clear in my affections and desires, and I’d thought Neteyam was just shy. Now I felt like a fool. He had not stolen any kisses, or any other affections, and I had been leading myself on. He simply wasn’t interested.

“Come, Y/N. Mom will be expecting us back soon.” Kawti hopped down from her seat atop a tree branch, and extended her small hand to mine.

I grabbed my meager bag of mangled fish, and followed her back to Home Tree.

--

When the rest of my family went to dinner, I stayed back. I wasn’t hungry, in fact I was feeling a little ill, and really did need a little bit of time alone. 

Kawti was annoyed, but her optimism was childish. Not only did she think it was just a rumor, but she claimed to be sure Neteyam was ‘completely in love’ with me.

As if she knew anything about love. She was just a kid.

I could only sit in our little alcove of Home Tree for so long before becoming restless. I was feeling ridiculous, too. If Neteyam did not want me, and had chosen another, then I would have to grow up and move on. There were many fine men in our village, and I knew one would choose me - and I would choose them in return.

I could only barely lie to myself, as dread gripped my chest at the thought of mating with anyone else. So I stood up, trying to shake the thoughts from my head, and walked outside. It was quiet, as most were gathered for the evening meal, and the quietness left me too much to my dark, depressing thoughts.

Without direction, I began walking towards the forest.

“Y/N!” a familiar voice called, and I hesitated before turning.

“Teyam,” I said through gritted teeth. I looked over my shoulder to see him jogging to catch up, a wooden bowl full of food in his hands.

He looked handsome, I thought before I could stop myself. Neteyam always looked handsome, but there was something different... he was wearing a large necklace made of leather that was reserved for special occasions, and his face was painted as if for battle or a ceremony.

“Your mother said you were ill. I brought you this.” He extended it to me, and something about the gesture turned my sadness to rage.

He could choose another woman, ask her to be his mate, and still pretend to be concerned about me? To bring me food? How dare he!

“Bah!” I said, waving my hand. “Leave me, Neteyam.”

He furrowed his brow in confusion and tilted his head to the side, his ears flicking back and forth. “Do you need the healer?”

“No. I need to be alone.” I stepped back, but he stepped forward to follow.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, his voice firm, and extended his hand to me.

I looked at him skeptically, tilting my head to the side, and sighed. It had always been hard to stay mad at Neteyam, and the look on his face was very serious.

I put my hand into his, noting how much larger his was, and we went back into my family’s alcove in Home Tree together.

Neteyam did not let go of my hand when we stepped inside, and I tried to savor it. If he was to belong to someone else soon, this might be the last time we were ever truly alone.

“Well, what do you need to talk about?” I asked, trying not to let my voice waiver. “My family will be back soon.”

This was not even close to the truth, and Neteyam knew it. My mother could talk for hours every night, and my sister was usually exhausted by the time they returned from their socializing. It would be at least an hour before they returned.

Neteyam looked everywhere in our modest home but at me, and I squeezed his hand. “Teyam, spit it out!”

“Damn, you don’t make it easy, Y/N!” he replied in a huff, and my eyes widened in surprise.

“Sorry,” I said, unsure of what I was apologizing for. He was the one who should have been apologizing to me.

Why had we gone on all those rides together? Hunted together? Taken meals together, spent time with each other’s families, if he had not intended to be mine?

“You are mad at me,” he said quietly, and I finally allowed myself to look into his eyes.

“Yes,” I said in a near-whisper. “I am.”

“Why?”

I took my hand from his and crossed my arms over my chest. “They are saying.. they are saying you have chosen a woman. Everyone is to celebrate the mating of the Chief’s son.”

His eyebrows rose up and his shoulders fell. “Well... this is true.”

I nodded, stepping away from him. “Who is she? Ni’awtu? She’s a fine hunter. Or... Petani? She has a fine skill on the loom, and would make a good mate.” I blinked hard to stop the tears rushing into my eyes.

I jumped with surprise when Neteyam laughed so hard that he threw his head back. “You are joking!” he exclaimed.

“I am not! Tell me who it is!”

With considerable effort, Neteyam stopped laughing and closed the gap between us again. He reached out, gripping my upper arms with his hands, and leaned in close.

“You are mad because you are jealous, but you are jealous of yourself, Y/N. Ni’awfu may be a fine hunter, and Petani weaves very well on the loom, but I do not love them. I do not love anyone else.”

Blinking hard, it took me a few moments to understand what Neteyam was saying to me. I stood, slack jawed and stunned, forcing him to continue speaking.

“I wish to ask you to be my mate before Ewya, to spend your life with me, to mother my children, Y/N.”

I took in a long, deep breath. My hands were shaking and the tears had filled my eyes, I could no longer hold them back. It was so hard to find any appropriate response. I had spent years pining over Neteyam, and all day today sure that my chance was gone and I was going to have to watch him with someone else - which would have been a fate worse than death.

“Neteyam, I... of course, yes. I, I have always...” I stuttered and stammered as tears fell down my face.

Graciously, Neteyam stopped our needs for words by leaning down and pressing his soft lips to mine in a kiss I felt as if I had waited so long for.

My body felt on fire instantly, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, deepening the kiss.

It felt like a long time before we pulled apart, both smiling like a couple of idiots.

“You are mine, Y/N,” Neteyam whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “How could you have thought I would choose anyone else? I have always been yours.”

Tears spilled freely now, and I put my hands on either side of his face. “I feel foolish. I have always been yours, Neteyam.”

He hugged me tightly, pulling my body completely flush with mine, and I breathed him in deeply.

“Always.”

[aliaology]

DOROTHEA

summary: jack and luke talking about their older sister, who they’ll forever cherish even if shes all the way in vancouver with quinn. their talk brings up memories that will forever be theirs.

almost a sequel of my “never grow up” fic 🤍

hey dorothea, do you ever stop and think about me?

growing up, jack always looked up to big siblings. each holding a special place in his heart. but both of them we’re different. quinn was the one he went to about hockey, girls, and school. y/n was the one he went to for almost everything else.

maybe it was because of how she was always overprotective of him, quinn and luke. he felt closest to her. it was clear she was the favorite, for each brother.

“do you think y/n thinks about us a lot?” luke asked when she went off to college. jack gave luke a look. “of course she does, moron. it’s not like she could forget us.”

luke shrugged. “i just miss her.”

when we were younger, down in the park, honey making a lark of the misery.

“do you think y/n stops to think about us? like— do you think she sees something like the color red and think about us?” luke asked, sitting next to jack.

jack held a picture frame of him, luke, quinn and her on her highschool graduation day.

“maybe not that much— but i like to think she does.” jacks eyes flickered to luke then back to the picture.

luke let out a sigh. “do you remember the summer before she went to college? almost every other day she would take us to the park to just, forget. forget that she would be leaving.”

jack quietly laughed. “i can’t forget that. highlight of my summer, along with you tripping every time you climbed the rock wall and fell”

luke slapped his brothers arm. “fuck off”

you got shiny new friends since you left town. a tiny screens the only place i see you now. and i got nothing but well wishes for you.

jacks shoulders moved along with his laughter. then it went quiet. “i miss her. i hate that we only see her through a tiny screen.” he spoke.

“at least we can still see her. im jealous of quinn though.” luke added.

jack shrugged. “i am but im not. we got her for a few years, it was his turn now.”

“yeah— but permanently.” luke told.

the two stopped talking. looking at the picture. their older sister smiling happily at the camera with her arms wrapped around jack and luke. quinn stood on the end, arm wrapped around jack.

she stuck out like a sore thumb in the picture. her bright blue graduation gown and bright blue cap was a huge contrast to the mix of whites, blacks, reds and greens the boys wore.

along with her height. the heels she wore made her tower over the boys.

hey dorothea, do you ever stop and think about me? when it was calmer, skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes.

laughter flooded through the quiet park. heels clicked against the sidewalk in a fast pace along with three other sets of feet running behind.

“moms so gonna kill you, sissy!” luke laughed.

you hunched over, hands on your knees as you caught your breath. luke leaned onto you, trying to catch his breath as jack and quinn stifled their laughs.

“she spent so much on this dress, and these damn— heels!” you spoke, struggling to get them off.

“not to mention the ticket!” jack added, grabbing your hand to help you stay steady as you took off the heels.

“i still don’t understand why you ditched, and why you dragged us along” quinn spoke.

“if a hughes goes down, we all do” you gave a toothy grin.

jack smiled softly as he helped you out. luke held your side, stabilizing you so you could get the heel off.

your long green dress clung to your body. the necklace you wore made its way into jacks pocket and was replaced with the necklace he got you for your birthday.

your ‘pearl’ bracelet was replaced with the bracelet luke made. and your ‘pearl’ ring was replaced with the ring quinn gave you. every nice piece of jewelry was replaced with one that actually meant something to you, whether they were pretty or not. (cough lukes beaded bracelet)

you pulled the pins out of your hair, along with the fake pearls and diamonds. you took the long clip that held your hair, out and shook your head.

“thank god im out of that. i love mom but god it felt like she was preparing me for a pageant.” you laughed.

in that moment, all brothers adored you. adored how you clearly cared for them. “lets head home now” you smiled.

but its never too late to come back to my side, the stars in your eyes shined brighter in tupelo. and if you’re ever tired for being known for who you know, you know you’ll always know me.

jackhughes

liked by ynhughes, lhughes_06 and 362,726 others

jackhughes vancouver may be fun, but i miss you, so come back.

tagged: ynhughes

comments

ynhughes i miss u more kid ☹️❤️

jackhughes so come back!

ynhughes its not that easy babes

jackhughes so make it easy lol

user14 im sobbing bring y/n back

user17 come back y/n jacky needs u

user97 BRING THE GANG BACK TOGETHER 😭😭

_quinnhughes i finally get my sister time and you want her back?

jackhughes yeah 😁😁

_quinnhughes gtfo

lhughes_06 this is true, i agree

jackhughes uh yeah id hope so

ynhughes guys pls 😞😞

user61 this is so 😭😭😭😭

trevorzegras bring hot stuff back!!!

jackhughes shes five years older than you, give it a rest 😒😒😒

trevorzegras never back down never what?

colecaulfied NEVER GIVE UP 😱😱😱😱

user73 i miss the hughes siblings together

user15 maybe vancouver will be good for her. maybe she’ll find a boyfriend

trevorzegras NO.

user82 trevor i love u 🥰

user27 i feel like any sad taylor song about growing up or even her friends like dorothea, could relate to them and y/n

tags: (perm) @hockeyboysarehot (just ask if you’d like perm tags <3 )

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

Family Gathering with Fernando Alonso

❃ FLUFFCEMBER 2024 ❃

day 05: family gathering — fernando alonso x reader

note: anticipated this one because yes i adored the concept (i absolutely do not fantasize about introducing nando as my bf to my family like who would ever do that !!)

fluffcember masterlist | main masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You and Fernando walked hand in hand to your old house’s door. The time eventually came: Christmas, the day you’ll be finally introducing your fiancée to your family.

You couldn’t help spending weeks being worried about it. Fernando was the best man you’ve ever met, but your age difference was very clear, and you feared your parents’ judgment. You procrastinated as long as you could, but they insisted to invite the two of you to celebrate together and you knew you couldn’t say no anymore.

Fernando sensed your worries by the squeeze of your hand in his. “Querida, don’t be anxious. I’m sure we’ll spend a wonderful day.” His hazel eyes, full of endearment, found yours.

His words reassured you just enough to make you woman up and rang the doorbell.

Your sister opened the door. She greeted you and let you in, but you didn’t miss her pupils widening imperceptibly when they lay on your new boyfriend. When he walked past her to get in, she turned to you and winked. “Well done sis.” She mouthed in your direction, careful not to be seen by Fernando.

You smirked, amused by her reaction.

In the living room, your parents were chatting while your brother was playing a videogame. They all turned around when you walked in. “Hello.”

“Here’s the new couple!” Your mom exclaimed, and wrapped you in a hug. “We missed you, Y/N.” The same did your dad.

Your mom gaze shifted on Fernando. He extended his hand. “I’m Fernando, a pleasure to meet you.”

Her expression was illegible. She shook his hand. “Hello Fernando, nice to meet you too. It’s so good to know our daughter finally found someone who can put up with her attitude.”

You blushed a little, shaking your head in embarrassment.

“Yeah, enough to keep up with mine.” He smiled in your direction. Could you ever have wished for a better boyfriend?

Your dad’s face betrayed his thoughts, but he too shook firmly his hand without a second thought. “Welcome in the family.” You couldn’t blame him, seeing his daughter with an older man must be a lot.

“Wait– that’s Fernando Alonso!” The voice of your brother interrupted the introductions. He jumped over the couch and reached you. “Oh my god, you’re in a relationship with a Formula 1 World Champion!” Your parents looked confused, then seemed to realize that just now. “How much do you make a year?”

“Y/B/N!” Scolded him your mom, casting him a bad look. “That’s not a question to ask!”

Fernando laughed. “Don’t worry.” He looked at the tv and noticed his videogame. “Are you playing Gran Turismo?”

“Yeah, but I’m stuck at this level.”

“Want a help?”

Your brother’s smile now was larger than ever. “Please!”

And that’s how your boyfriend, your dad and your brother all ran to the couch.

Your mon chuckled at the sight. “Alright then, we’re going to help grandma in the kitchen, if you boys don’t mind.”

Lunch was almost ready, you and your mom were finishing preparing the appetisers. “So… do you love him?”

The question took you aback. “I…” You thought about Fernando’s laugh, about the his gentleness, about the way he made you feel. Your lips curved in a dreamy smile. “Yes, I do.”

“And does he love you?”

Does he love me?

In your mind flashed suddenly all the times he had to run away for work during the week, and about the red rose he left in your house every time, to make you feel his presence, even in his absence. Every single time. And as soon as he was back, he was at your door, with a bouquet of roses, ready to take you out on a date. “He does.”

Your mother seemed satisfied with the answer. “Perfect. That’s all that matters.” She caressed your hair and placed a kiss on your head. “He looks like a nice guy.” She took the plate with the appetisers and headed to the dining room, before turning to you one last time. “And very handsome indeed.”

You rolled your eyes, grinning. “Mom!”

Lunch went wonderfully, to your surprise. You had fun, telling stories and making jokes (which some were about you, of course). Your grandma kept saying how charming Fernando was and how lucky he was to meet a girl like you, making you awkwardly flush from time to time. Even your dad was getting along well with him.

When you and Fernando left, driving back home, he couldn’t stop talking about how cool your family was.

“I’m so happy everything went well.” You said, landing a hand on his thigh and affectionately smiling at him.

“Told you, querida. How could they not like me?”

You chuckled. “Right.” You paused, thoughtful. “This is probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had.” Because of you, you implied. “Thank you, Nando.”

You reached a red light. He turned towards you. “No, thank to you.” He closed the distance between the two of you and kissed you deeply. Your hand on his thigh stroked it slowly.

He broke the kiss when the traffic light turned green. “You know, I loved your parents’ house, but right now I really want to go back to ours.”

[florsial]

you should totally talk about ur lily more😔 (pleasepleaplepleasepleaspeleaapleaase)

Sigh, I have a very love-hate relationship with Lily with how some of her fans can get. Unfortunately, I did post about her at some point but took it down. Truthfully, I do love her in my own personal way.

Anyways, here's some headcanons:

-She's from Spain and was raised Catholic. Her family moved to the UK and unlike Petunia, Lily settled kinda well while Petunia wasn't used to the sudden change in environment. They moved when Lily was 10 and Petunia was 12.

-I feel like people will hate me for this, but I think her friendship with Severus was one of the most important ones. First friend-first love kinda of thing. They were each other's first person and even when they part ways, Lily will still feel fond of him even when they both wronged each other (because there is no way in hell two lonely teens weren't gonna hurt each other one way or another). Modern AU version of them is just two teenage girls who don't know where the boundaries of romantic-platonic end and begin which causes a lot of weird feelings and toxicity (don't ask how I know that)

-She's like one of those people who are like "Stop doing that, you're making me stressed", and the other person just placed a book in a different place. There is always a certain way she likes things done because she feels like works better, so if another way is introduced, she will be skeptical about its efficiency

-I don't see her reading fiction books all that much. She would much prefer biographies to draw her life inspirations from, literature essays to validate her internal points, and poems for small readings to just relax with. I think if she would read nonfiction, they would definitely have an overall message that she obsesses over. However, I think she would LOVE magazines.

-Not all that into movies, I don't think she would have the patience to watch them.

-We as a fandom must never forget her skill for potions. I think in the muggle world, she was very into chemistry (I've always found this funny stereotype about religious people not liking stuff like chemistry)

-Much more easily agitated during the war. Her head was constantly filling with regrets and a back-and-forth desire to run back to Petunia or stay with the Order. Once Harry was born, she kinda had this melancholy look about her, she won't be able to return or try to make amends with her sister for a long long time, or if she's even able to. At every meeting, she had a frustrated look in her eye but when she was pregnant/after Harry's birth, she just looked like she was reluctantly accepting a terrible fate. She's happy with the family she's crafted for herself but also misses when she didn't have to go through the loneliness of making one for herself because she had Petunia and that was more than enough for Lily.

-I don't think she regrets helping muggles at all. That's not what I'm saying. I'm more in the thinking that she wanted to the comfort of her own family in a such difficult time. Jealously when Regulus dies, Sirius can finally mourn and put his family to rest while Lily fears for her family's life every day as they live, living in regret and feeling like an outcast. James and his parents and her desire for her mother when she's pregnant, yes Effie is kind, but she isn't Lily's mom. Remus has the comfort of knowing his family is safe because Lyall is a wizard, and the same can go for Peter. Lily's family probably doesn't even know what was happening.

-All that anger and frustration kinda boils over and I WISH that JK Rowling made her more angry before her death. Lily's life was unfair! She deserved to yell and scream, plea for her son's life but also cuss out Voldemort. Screaming and crying (literally), shaking with fear but also anger, and I know, female characters can be soft/sensitive/emotional, it's not a bad thing. It's just I wish she was more angry/a mess because she was seen as a witty, sharp-tongued girl! This stereotypical fierce redhead! I would've been fine with her simply pleading for her son's life even in the most pathetic way (no shame) but her personality was established as being very fierce by JK Rowling!! But this could honestly be just me and yes, I know, situations change people sometimes. I just wished there was more anger, or maybe I'm angry on her behalf lol

-Teenage Lily is the helpless romantic, the girl who reads real-life love stories to prove love is real, the girl who cheers her boyfriend on the field, and the girl with gum and finished homework notes that could be given to anyone who needed them. But 20-21 year old Lily the tired woman who cried for her mother when she had her first child, the tired woman who wanted her sister's hugs again, the tired woman with sickly green eyes and moved too slowly for a woman in her early 20s, and the tired woman who watched everyone like a hawk at Order meetings that talked of more death. She sits in the corner, the chair seemingly too big for her, or anyone for that matter, and watches with frustrations simmering under her eyes. Sometimes give a cutting remark that Sirius laughs to.

[poppitron360]

Lost Trio Week- Day 2: “Mortal AU”

@lost-trio-week

Piper:

Jason (5:00pm): My flight just landed.

Piper (5:02pm): welcome to the city!

Jason (5:02pm): Yeah, well, not ready to explore just yet. Gotta sleep off this jetlag first.

Piper (5:04pm): yh ive got stuff 2 do now

Piper (5:04pm): Im free tomorrow if u wanna tour

Jason (5:04pm): Great! Where should we meet?

Piper (5:10pm): i simply must to take you to this local coffee shop i found.

Piper (5:11pm): the barista is so your type

Jason (5:11pm): Colour me intrigued!

Jason (5:12pm): What’s the address?

“Well, if it isn’t one of my favourite regulars,” the barista nodded at Piper, “How ya been, girl?”

“Hey, Leo!” Piper replied. She gestured to Jason as if she was showing off a prize pig. “I brought a friend!” She announced, “This is Jason.”

Jason stepped forwards and scanned the menu on the chalkboard behind the counter.

“Umm… what’s your tea selection?”

Leo tapped the logo on the price sign, “This is a coffee shop, mi amigo.”

“Are you making fun of my dyslexia?” Jason quipped back.

Leo rolled his eyes, and tapped something on the register screen as he talked. “We do, in fact, sell tea,” he relented.

“What kind?”

He paused his tapping and looked up, “Teas have kinds?”

Jason huffed, “If it’s an option, I’d like Earl Grey, milk, two sugars.”

“Earl Grey? That sounds like a Grandpa drink.”

Piper snorted. “I mean, he’s got a point,” she remarked.

“You’re one to talk, you only drink that overpriced Pumpkin Spiced Latte crap,” Jason countered.

“Well excuse me for enjoying a little seasonal treat!”

Leo clicked his fingers, “Preach, sister!”

They high-fived. Jason rolled his eyes, “Can I just get my tea, please?”

“Yo! Julie!” Leo turned to his co-worker behind him, “Do we sell any Grandpa Tea?”

“I don’t f&^%*ng know, Leo!” Julie snapped, “Do your own f*&$%^ng job!”

Leo turned back and shrugged.

“I’ll have a look in the back for you,” he said, his tone a little more forgiving. Piper saw him snapped at by Julie a lot, “But find a place to sit and wait. You’re holding up my line.”

Leo then went back to nonchalantly tapping at his register, and Jason went to find an empty table while Piper ordered.

Piper found Jason sat in a booth by the window, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. They talked for a while when something caught their attention in the corner of the room.

A TV hang from the ceiling a few booths over. It was playing a news story. The reporter was talking over visuals of a man in a pinstriped suit shaking hands with someone important. Jason immediately blushed and hid his face. The headline scrolling across the screen read: “Politician Gary Jupiter caught in another Sex Scandal.”

“Great,” Jason muttered, “Hi, dad.”

Piper gave him a sympathetic look. Her dad was a disgraced Hollywood movie star, and her mom won Miss America three years running, she knew all about famous parents. She knew all about scandals and controversy. Her family was hit with bankruptcy a few years ago and mostly disappeared from the public eye, but she still had to avoid paparazzi wherever she went.

“I just wish he didn’t have to globally embarrass himself this often!” Jason groaned, “Although, what does it matter? I’ve only met the guy once, and to be honest he’d probably fathered about half the American public. Me and Thalia was just the product of another of his affairs.”

“That sucks, man,” she consoled.

Jason was about to say something else, but Piper quickly shushed him when she saw Leo walking over with a hot cup of steaming something in his hand.

“I got your tea for you,” he said.

“HE WENT TO THE STORE AND BOUGHT SOME!” Came a shout from behind the counter.

“Shut up, Julie!”

“I HAD TO COVER HIS SHIFT SO HE OWES ME!”

“I know, Julie!”

Jason took a sip, “This tastes different from store-bought tea. Did you do anything to it?”

Leo blushed, “I added a little bit of cinnamon. Sorry, I should’ve probably checked with you beforehand- allergies and stuff. They talked our ear off about it in staff training last week. I can take it back if you like-“

“No! No! It’s delicious, thank you.”

Piper smiled.

“Oh… okay…”

“HE SAYS HE THINKS YOU’RE CUTE AND HE WANTS YOUR NUMBER!”

Leo’s cheeks turned the colour of beetroot. He cringed, “Thank you, Julie!”

Julie flipped him the bird from across the room.

Leo didn’t make eye contact with Jason. “That’ll be 2.25,” he muttered in a small voice. Then, more confident, “She was only joking by the way. She likes to mess my life up like that. Ignore her.”

“Oh…” Jason said, his tone rather disappointed. Piper raised an eyebrow.

Leo looked like he was about to leave, but Piper saw how Jason was glancing at Leo out of the corner of his eye. She knew she had to intervene- get these two talking.

“So, Leo,” she said, “What made you come to work here?”

“Oh! Um…” Leo turned around, “I’m only working here ‘til I can scrape together enough dough to buy my own machine shop.”

Piper smiled, coyly, “Oh really?”

“Yeah…”

Stretching out her leg, Piper hooked her foot around a chair from a nearby table and dragged it over next to the booth. She gestured at Leo to sit in it, “Tell us more.”

She caught Jason’s eye and winked. Jason blushed.

Leo looked nervously back at the counter, “I’m going on break, now, Julie!”

“Whatever!”

Leo sat down.

“Why a machine shop?” Piper asked.

“Well… I grew up with machines. I used to help my mom down at her warehouse before it burned down.”

“So you’re good with machines?”

“Oh, sister,” Leo leaned back in his chair, confidently, “I’m the best there is.”

Piper glanced at Jason.

“Machines,” she mouthed. She pointed at her bicep, “Big muscles.”

“Shut up!” Jason mouthed back.

They talked for a while. After some time, Jason finished his tea and ordered another.

Leo had brought them four more rounds of drinks before Julie snapped at him to get back to work.

“Welp,” Leo patted the table, “I really gotta go. See ya, Piper. See ya, Earl.”

‘My name is Jason!”

“Nah. Your name’s Earl. Earl Grey,” Leo gave him a mischievous smile, “You know it’s a barista’s job to get your name horrifically wrong. It’s part of my contract.”

He turned to leave, but before he could, Jason called to him.

“Wait-“

“…yeah?”

Jason was blushing profusely now, “Did-Did you want my number?”

Leo grinned, looking way too happy about the prospect, “Okay!”

Jason grabbed a napkin and a pen and scribbled it down. Leo took it and bounded back to the counter, grinning.

Jason turned back to Piper, “Thank fuck- drank too much tea and now I really gotta pee.”

Jason stayed in the city for a few more weeks. He met with Piper almost every day at the coffee shop.

Leo would come and talk when Julie let him. It was obvious that he was smitten with Jason, and Jason liked him back. Piper had to repeatedly resist the urge to yell “ugh, just kiss already!” multiple times a day.

It was the day before Jason had to leave, and Piper was getting impatient. She was about to do something drastic, when…

“Hey, Piper! Sorry, I actually can’t stay very long. I’m just here to meet Leo- we have a date!”

“OH MY GODDD!!’ Piper, squealed, bouncing up and down, “Fucking FINALLY!!”

“I just need to wait for him to finish his shift-“

Just then, Leo came out of the store cupboard, dressed in a white shirt and suspenders. He ran his hands through his hair, nervously, then hung his apron on a hook.

“…Hi,” Jason said, his mouth open.

“Hi,” Leo replied, “You ready to go?”

“Uhh… yeah. What do you wanna do?”

“Hmm…” Leo scratched his chin, “How about… coffee?”

Jason giggled and blushed. Leo offered Jason his arm and led him out the door.

“Don’t fuck it up, Jase!” Piper teased after him.

“I’m a professional!” Jason countered.

Piper (8:01pm): Babe it finally happened.

Piper (8:01pm): Leo and Jason have a date!!!

Shel (8:02pm): OH

Shel (8:02pm): MY

Shel (8:02pm): GOD

Shel (8:03pm): FINALLY!!!

Piper (8:04pm): IKR!!!

Shel (8:05pm): Tell. Me. EVERYTHING.

Piper (8:10pm): still wating on a call from jason 2 know how it went

Piper (8:11pm): will keep you updated

At 9:30 in the evening, Jason called.

“Hey, Jase. How did your date with Leo go?”

Jason smiled, shyly over the video call, “He’s… really smart. And cute. And short. But, like, in a cute way. It’s a shame my flight leaves tomorrow.”

“Did… did you tell him you were leaving?”

Jason looked down, ashamed, “No, I didn’t. I probably should’ve, it’s just… things were going so well and I didn’t wanna ruin it. But I should tell him.”

They talked for a while about how the date went. She could tell that Jason was hiding something. She hoped he was planning some big gesture. Shel would eat that story up.

“It’s getting late, I’m gonna sign off,” Piper said eventually, turning over on her back and hovering her finger over the hang up button.

“Okay.”

“If you want, I can drive you to the airport?”

“No, it’s fine…” Jason had a faraway look on his face, “I have some… errands I need to run. I’ll see you around.”

Piper tried not to show that she was grinning ear-to-ear, “Alright then. Bye.”

She hung up.

Piper (10:34pm): jason’s planning something i can tell.

Shel (10:35pm): THE DATE WENT WELL??

Piper (10:35pm): SO well.

Piper (10:35pm): Idk what he’s gonna do but ill be there at the coffee shop tomorrow.

Piper (10:36pm): I wanna watch how this plays out

Shel (10:38pm): omigod lmk how it goes!!!!

Jason:

Jason watched the image of Piper’s face blink off the screen.

He took a deep breath, then dialled a different number.

It rang eight times, then went to voicemail.

“Hey dad…? I need a favour.”

Jason walked up to the counter the next day.

“Well if it isn’t Earl!”

Jason smiled, “Can I get-“

“Coming right up,” Leo cut him off, “Milk, two sugars. I know the drill.”

He set about making brewing the kettle.

“Can I take it to go this time?” Jason asked.

Leo paused, and looked up from his work, “You’re… not sticking around?”

“No, I’ve got a flight to catch. In about an hour.”

“A… a flight?” There was sadness in his voice. He looked like he was about to say something- but just then, the kettle made a loud ping!

“Tea’s ready.” Leo wouldn’t meet Jason’s eyes as he poured the boiling water into the heat-proof cup and added the sugar and milk.

“Did you add-“

“A bit of cinnamon. Yup.”

“Thanks,” Jason took the tea, and turned to leave, then stopped and doubled back. “Oh, I almost forgot-“ he took a deep breath, and pulled a the stack of cash out of his pocket, “Your tip.”

The giant wad was almost too much to fit into one hand.

“Wh-Wha-“ Leo spluttered. He reached out tentatively, but pulled his hand away.

“Here, take it,” Jason waved the cash at him.

“H-how much is that…?”

“Easily enough to put a down-payment on a machine shop. Take it.”

Leo’s mouth hung open in shock, “I… I can’t accept this. For one thing, it’s definitely against company policy-“

“Fine, then. Don’t accept it as a tip, but an investment.”

“An… investment?”

“Yes. From a future customer at your shop,” Jason shoved the wad at him, “Look, man, I’m holding up the line and my tea’s getting cold. Do you want the money or not?”

Leo grabbed the money with trembling hands. “Is this for real?”

“Yeah.”

“B-but you’re leaving.”

“I’ll come back.”

“A-and the money’s legit? You’re not, like, committing tax fraud just to give it to me?”

“No, I’m committing tax fraud anyway.”

“Oh…”

“That was a joke. I just called in a few favours. No big deal.”

“Oh!” Leo grinned, “So…”

“Yeah…”

“Thank you, Jason.”

“Hey!” Jason beamed at him, “You said my name right!”

“Yeah, that’s because I’m not a barista anymore!” He took off his apron and threw it on the ground, then turned to his co-worker, “Hey Julie! Guess what? I f^%$¡ng quit!”

“What-“

“Addios!”

“But-“

Before Julie could stop him, Leo marched out of the front doors, putting up the finger in her direction as he did so.

“YOU STILL NEED TO PUT IN YOUR TWO WEEK’S NOTICE!!” Julie called, but Leo was out the door.

“What are you doing standing there, doofus?”

Someone had stood up on a table at the back. Jason hadn’t noticed them before. They wore a leopard-print trench-coat and heart-shaped sunglasses, but Jason recognised the voice.

“Piper?? What’re you-“

She shed her elaborate disguise, and stared at him, “You’ve got a flight to catch, right?”

“Yeah, but I-“

“So?! Chase after him!”

“But-“

“Kiss him in the rain!”

Jason glanced out the window, “It’s not raining.”

“Doesn’t matter! Just don’t let him get away!”

Jason looked out at the busy high street. Leo, having doffed his barista’s apron was parading down the sidewalk, his head held high. He looked so cute- so unabashedly himself- that Jason swore in that moment that wasn’t gonna let Leo be the one that got away.

“Jason!! What’re you waiting for?” Piper insisted.

Jason turned to her.

“Piper?”

“Yeah?”

“Hold my tea.”

With that, he was out the door and running. Running down the high street. Running after Leo. Jason hadn’t felt this alive since… since he could remember.

“Leo wait-“ Jason yelled.

The former barista turned in shock to see Jason standing, completely out of breath, in front of him.

“I *wheeze* just wanted to *wheeze* say that *wheeze*-“ he spluttered.

Leo chuckled, “What is it?”

“Hold on… lemme catch my breath…” Jason stood with his hands on his knees and breathing hard, “I just wanted to say that… I’d like to go on another date with you.”

“Yeah that was kind of already implied,” Leo said.

“It… it was?”

“Look you’re leaving town- that’ll complicate things, sure. But we’d already established that you’re coming back. I’ve got your number. You could’ve just called me on the plane if you wanted to keep chatting.”

“…yeah.”

“So… what was this gesture meant to accomplish exactly?”

“That I… I like you, I guess?” Jason said, sheepishly.

Leo laughed, “But I thought we’d already established that, too?”

Jason threw up his hands, “I don’t know! I thought it was romantic. There’s always scenes like these in shitty rom coms on TV. Sue me!”

Leo grinned, “Well, it’s very sweet. But also stupid.”

“Okay, well, I just realised that I never got to say goodbye before I left. Yes- that! Good! I’m going with that.”

“Alright then. Goodbye, Jason. I’ll probably text you in the next half hour.”

“Okay then… bye, I guess.”

Leo walked away.

“Well that was awkward.”

“Gah!” Jason nearly jumped out of his skin. Behind him stood Piper, slurping on an iced latte. She had donned her sunglasses and trench-coat again, and had a big grin on her face. “Geez, I thought you were a professional?”

“That was your idea!”

Piper shrugged, “I’m an agent of chaos. Now you better run or you’re gonna miss your flight. Here’s your tea.”

“More running?” Jason groaned, as he took the cup and sprinted off in the direction of the airport.

— — — — — — — — —

Technically Valgrace and not Lost Trio, but I thought having Piper narrate and orchestrate most of it would even it out.

I’ve never even read a Coffee Shop AU before, let alone written one- could you tell?

Trying to subvert the stupidest romance tropes by just making it as stupidly awkward as possible. This might be unreadably cringe but hey at least I got something out before the deadline!! (And neglected all my irl responsibilities to do so!!)

Still learning how to write mortal AUs- it’s something I find difficult as someone who struggles with existing in real life anyway. I’m loving that this event is taking me out of my comfort zone and getting me to write in a style I wouldn’t usually write in. I can’t wait to see y’all’s responses when I get back from Hiatus.

Btw, Julie is a reference to Julie Powers from the Scott Pilgrim movie/show/graphic novels (played by Aubrey Plaza). There’s actually a lot of subtle references/homages to my favourite things in this fic.

I hope you enjoyed, and I’ll see y’all tomorrow for the next prompt!!

@euryvices-deactivated20241019 @deciduowl @lavenderfairiez @ottpopfic @ginnyluna @groverapologist @echo-stimmingrose @demigod-shenanigans @keefessketchbook @sleepyycapybara @123letsgobestie @kaleidoskuls @fairytalesociology @four-leafed-queer-gal @child-of-helios @green-tea217 @puzzled-pegasus @twomanyfandomshelp @lokiwiiiiiii @yoshuko-ew @frayna-of-the-hollow @via-rant @daonedaonlyskh @hadeslegacyhephgirl @siimplyapril @pjowasmy1stfandom @thetourturedwritersclub @m-for-now

[peachhcs]

sharks development camp

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

a blurb of macklin talking to will about samy and their breakup while at the sharks development camp.

i got inspired from that one post i saw where will and macklin are roommates at the dev camp, so i produced this short little snippet. it's actually kind of cutie because will's being like an older brother in a way :)

au masterlist

the two boys practically collapsed onto their beds as soon as they were back in the room. the few days they'd been in san jose were extremely fun, but also very exhausting. they were on the ice from sun up to sun down basically, so breaks were far and few between.

at least it was good for getting a full night's sleep because all the boys were out by the time the day finished. will rolled onto his side, reaching for his phone he stuffed into his backpack that was a little bit more than an arm's length away from him at the moment. he stretched a little bit farther and was able to wrap his fingers around the device in the side pocket.

he scanned down the list of notifications for anything important. there were a few texts from his mom and the family group chat, but other than that, things were pretty quiet on will's phone. it'd become a lot quieter now that there was no multiple messages from samy.

will didn't want to admit to himself that he missed seeing her name on his screen with about 10 different messages from her in the time he was at practice.

"can i ask you a bit of a..personal question?" macklin's voice broke will from his thoughts. the older boy rolled to the side macklin was on who stared up at the ceiling.

"what?"

"you're not a virgin, are you?" well, that definitely was a personal question. will's expression twisted for a second before shaking his head.

"uh..yeah, no. i'm not," shit. every. single. conversation. led will right back to samy. at least he didn't spiral this time unlike last time back at the combine where he pretty much made himself look super pathetic.

"okay, sorry. that was like..weird and personal. i don't know. i feel like every person i've talked to isn't and it makes me feel weird sometimes because like..i haven't done.." macklin trailed off realizing this was a weird conversation topic.

"no, it's fine. i get it. i was the same too for a long time," the blonde said and he felt like he was being some older brother right now.

"really?"

"yeah, i didn't like..actually do anything until i was 18," will said almost in embarrassment, but he knew that wasn't anything to be embarrassed about.

"oh. wow. was it like..a hookup or like.." macklin kept asking which will didn't mind. he kind of wished he had someone like himself when he was 16, 17, 18 to talk about all of this. none of his friends really talked about it a whole lot, or they did but it was always in a weird, gross way.

"no, it was with my ex girlfriend," will flinched saying ex girlfriend. it felt so weird calling samy that.

"wait, ex girlfriend?" macklin sat up, confusion on his features.

the blonde's face flushed a little, "oh, i guess we haven't really told people. uh, samy and i broke up."

he watched the brunette's eyes widen in shock, "you broke up? when?"

"like..early june?"

"wait, why? i thought you two were like..oh my god, is that why samy like avoided you when you came over and talked to us at the draft?" macklin's eyes widened in realization.

"yeah..basically. i don't know. i..i kind of realize it was a shitty decision on my part, but i don't really know how to fix it," the older boy admitted, sitting up some.

"did something happen? like what happened?"

"nothing bad..i just..i freaked a bit when i signed on last month. i think i got into my head a little too much and i made the decision without talking it out before i did. she won't talk to me really, though so i can't talk to her," will shrugged, a frown on his lips.

"oh, wow. i'm sorry. i didn't know," the brunette frowned too.

"don't worry. it's my fault and i kind of deserve being avoided."

"maybe i can talk to her? she kind of took beckett and i under her wing at the draft, so maybe we can talk her up," macklin laughed a little.

"no, it's fine. i'll see her anyway at our family vacation, so maybe i can..talk to her or something," will waved the boy off.

"well, if it's any consolation, i think she'd take you back if she heard you out. from what i knew, you guys really cared about each other," macklin shrugged a bit.

"thanks, i appreciate that," will managed a small smile.

the two started getting into talking about something else, but samy lingered on will's mind for the rest of the night. when macklin fell asleep will seriously thought about reaching out to her. his finger hovered above the send button and he deleted and retyped a bunch of messages, but he ultimately decided he shouldn't because why would she even want hear from him anyway?

[elizabeth-mitchells]

AAAAND I'M DONE WATCHING LOST! 🛩️🫶

here are some thoughts about the finale:

JULIET!!!! FINALLY!!!!! MY DEAD WIFE IS BACK!!!!!

i literally cheered when she showed up on the screen

kate shooting john was so hot. she should've done a lot more of that a lot more often

Juliet certified milf she's a mom now <3

Shannon!!!! Shannon is here!!!! babygirl!!!!!

JULIET IN THAT DRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the height difference between juliet and claire has what it takes to drive me completely and absolutely insane. i need more of these two together immediately

no mention of Juliet's life and sister or anything else about her in the flash sideways universe? :( rude. i think her kid has her eyes though. and ngl i do want to know more about the relationship between her and her fake son

Kate and Claire soulmates in every universe confirmed!!!! Kate is always the father of her baby!!!! she came back to the island for her and she got her memories back with her!!!!

i got so excited about that ^ that i literally had to stop the show to explain to my dad how important it was that it was established that Kate came back to the island for Claire (not for Jack or Sawyer) and that she got her memories back with Claire (not with Jack). idc if i looked insane or gay

being a weird magical entity protector of a weird magical island is a thankless job what do you mean neither of them was immortal tf

jack and john getting their memories back with each other was kinda gay, good for them

jin going :) !!! when he saw sawyer was too funny

MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ THE MACHINE ITS RIGHTS

juliet baby i missed you so much!!! she's still a little shit with an angelical smile!!!!

must be soooo weird to remember exactly how you died wow

did jack and juliet spend years together, got married, had a kid, and never once remembered anything together? talk about being a repressed homosexual huh

kate and claire seriously best couple in the show btw

didn't hugo say just on the last episode he was glad he didn't have jacob's job? i'm not sure how good this is

didn't widmore say he put more explosives on that plane? but anyway i'm sooooo glad the plane got to leave <3 yay <3

libby was there :)

i wish ana lucia and charlotte had been there :(

penny was there :)

i'm suing them because i didn't get a hug between kate and juliet at the end >:(

literally not upset in the slightest about all of them being dead like. what did you expect? most of them were already dead? they had to die eventually?

if anything i'm glad the flash sideways stuff wasn't entirely real bc i would've been more upset if the stuff on the island got erased or if that had been a dream

(or did i get it all wrong? lmao)

overall pretty happy with the whole thing! surprisingly not upset at the ending? sure i didn't understand some stuff, i didn't like some stuff, but it was much much better than expected!! plus, i have my priorities, and my girls were always great <33

[low-budget-korra]

My comments on Arcane s01

-Vi is the sister I wish I had, fr. And as an lesbian older sister myself, it wasn't hard for me to connect with her from the very first episode.And now that I've watched the show, I don't understand how some people blame her for wherever she did to Jinx. Yeah, Jinx was just a kid but guess what, so was Vi. Jinx lost everything? So has Vi.

"but Violet abandoned Powder" No! She was protecting her lil sister. And she just saw her sister murder their entire family, how y'all think she feels? And she was about to save Powder before she was kidnapped.

And the fact that she manages to be so soft and good besides everything she went through... Vi is THE exception.

-Powder/Jinx was just a kid and all but damn. Vi forgives it all she has done, and in the one time Vi needs her forgiveness, she's so quick to hate her for good. Did she really realize what she had done?

Well, now I see why some people compared her to Azula. The difference is that Azula never had anything like Vander or Vi, Jinx had that and still went nuts. And also, Azula never goes for the murder, not really when it was expected (like when she was betrayed by Mai and Ty Lee). While Jinx would give 2 shits about kill people for funzies.

Yes, I feel sympathy for her, just as much as I feel anger towards her. She is a complex character that's for sure. And mentally ill

And my hate for her is mostly for the way she treats Vi honestly

Anyway, there's this joke on Brazilian fandom that Jinx is homophobic and that's why she can't stand Caitlyn and can't stand seeing her with Vi, and I think it's honestly hilarious

-CaitVi is a wonderful ship. Nothing against the explicit and big gestures such as kissing and all but damn, I missed the subtlety. The minor and meaningful touches, the gazes...it reminded me so much of Korrasami

-I loved Jayce and Caitlyn's relationship. When united, gays and lesbians are strong.

And I still don't get why people keep pretending Caitlyn actions on s2(as far as I saw in the trailers) aren't justified. Her mom was murdered by the people she tried to help, if it was me, I would also raise hell upon them. Anyway, let's talk about s1 Caitlyn and she is just so adorable.

She really wanted to make a difference, to help. She got out of her bubble and got a taste of the real world, and I bet it hurt. She just wanted to help and to do what's right but she paid the high price and has all the right to me mad at s2

And from the way she flinched at Jinx during the "dinner" scene, at bet the hours she spent under Jinx mercy weren't nice

-Im sorry, I didn't care much about the hextec plot. I know it's important and it's what makes the character on the road but their inner struggles and their subplots are far better to watch.

The only interesting part of them was Jayce cuz he is such an interesting character. For the way I've seen people talk about them, I thought he was gonna be the worst but no. You can see he struggles with some decisions. He ain't bad, he just does bad decisions

-Ekko is such a G man. If something happens to him in s2, I will riot. I like how he is the exact opposite of Jinx.

Ekko also lost everything and everyone, but instead of Jinx, he turned his pain into something good, into helping others the way Vander and Benzo helped him and the other kids.

I wasn't expecting him to be friends with Heimerdinger but I love that for him

-Lets talk about something serious, Jinx was right in her anger towards the upper class but blowing things up was not the answer. Vander knew and saw things how it was, making deals is better than having innocent blood in the streets.In fact, I saw a lot of simplified comments about the politics and social aspects of Arcane and now that I've watched the show I see how damn immature and naive a lot of them are.

Do not get me wrong, we should rebel every time we need and violence is a part of that. No revolution happened without it. But we should be wise about the battles we pick.

Let's look at Caitlyn for example, she is born rich and a good person. It's naive to expect someone born with everything and disconnected with the lower class problems and needs, to all of sudden be an ally to social causes. Born rich and privileged doesn't necessarily mean you are born a bad person, just as much as born poor doesn't automatically make you a good person.

Now, do you think Caitlyn deserved to lose her mother like that? Do you think she deserves what Jinx did to her just because she was from Piltover? That's when you lose potential allies and gain strong enemiesIt's not that simple. Social problems such as class differences, poverty, violence...it's not something that you can fix that easily. Oh man, I wish it was but it ain't.

With all that said, Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko, Vander...none of them are evil and most of their actions (if not all of them) have a solid reason behind it, but this doesn't mean they were the best thing to do.

-Fuck you Silco. He is what happens when you put a "wherever it cost" mentality, cuz sometimes the cost is high. Too high. Also, he doesn't want justice or revenge, he wants power

-The animation and sound design is a masterpiece too. And the fight choreography? Damn shit was fire

[red-writes]

Enji Todoroki x Reader

Summary: With your marriage arriving so soon, you and shoto needed to gain the approval from his father but with his approval came the old todoroki tradition: the father must sleep with the child’s future partner

Warnings: dub-con/non-con, forced sex, fucked up family dynamics, step-cest (reader is enji’s soon-to-be daughter in law)

Red’s notes: I’ve had this in my drafts for uber long and it’s so fucked up yet so hot I couldn't not share 

You’ve heard little about your soon to be father in law from Shoto. Little hints about him were sprinkled throughout your conversations over the years—but nothing important or noteworthy was ever shared. Having no information about the man you were about to meet was, for the lack of a better word, scary. Enji Todoroki. His name was shroud in mystery. Shoto could go on and on about his mother, brothers and sister. But when it came to his dad, not much was said.

Shoto seemed restless on the drive over. His jaw clenched, thumbs tapping away at the steering wheel. It threw you off, knowing that your usually stoic and calm fiancé was so nervous. Even now as you sat on the couch waiting for your father in law’s arrival his leg was bouncing up and down anxiously. Anxiety was a virus, it spread so easily and infected anyone nearby. Fear that lie dormant in your gut before began to bubble, you could feel the bile rising in your throat as the only door in the room opens.

You heard several pairs of footsteps walk in and your head rose to look at who entered. It was all of the Todoroki siblings. A sigh of relief escaped you as fuyumi, touya and natsuo join you on the couch. 

“Nervous?” fuyumi asks, her face genuinely concerned and you let out a nervous chuckle, “Like you wouldn't believe, Sho doesn't tell me much about my almost father in law so..” 

Touya, who is seated next to Shoto shoves him playfully, “Jesus baby bro, you're scaring my sister in law” he jokes and Shoto says nothing, eyes still planted on the floor. Natsuo mumbles something under his breath before getting up and leaving the room. It seems as if no one else heard with the way fuyumi and touya carry on about how they wish mom could meet you. It seemed like you were the only one who heard Natsuo. 

you should be scared.

The topic of marriage arose and fuyumi casually mentioned how she tied the knot a few years back and touya did as well mere months ago. 

“Is marriage an important family value or something?” you ask fuyumi and she hums thoughtfully, “I wouldn't say that, our family is more traditional than most, before a certain age we must get married” her clarification only makes you more confused. 

“How come Natsuo isn't married then?” you wonder, the room is quiet, the air is stagnant somehow it feels as if gravity is pressing down on your very soul at that moment. 

“He doesn't want to follow tradition.” Shoto states simply. You're turning to face him, you're eager to know more. 

“What could possibly be so frightening about marriage?” You say, voice lighthearted and curious. 

“It’s not tradition he's afraid of, it’s dad” touya says, fuyumi  glares at touya from across the couch and at that very moment the door is opened rather harshly. The handle bangs against the wall and the jarring sound makes you jump. There he is. That monster of a man is standing in the doorway, arms folded in front of his chest as he walks over to where the two couches are settled.

He takes a seat in the one in front of you and the three todoroki siblings stand and bow, you fumble to follow behind them, your bow was late and sloppy while theirs was clearly organized and practiced. Enji Todoroki looks a lot different than you imagined. His hair was short and spiked upwards, blue eyes beady and cold, his frame muscular; outcome of having trained it up for years. 

“Shoto, I’m glad you decided to come, I’ve missed you my son” Enji says, his voice gruff and deep. It sends chills down your spine. 

“Father- there is much I want to say to you..” Shoto begins and Enji allows him to continue speaking, “I simply came here as a formality, I just wanted you to meet her, not for the ritual to take place” he says and you're confused, head turning to Shoto for some answers. 

formality? ritual? 

“If you think you intend to leave here without it taking place, you're mistaken.” Enji says, he stands and walks around the couch, his large hands rest on your shoulders.

“E-excuse me, Mr.Todoroki, what is the ritual?” you squeak out, you're sure if he was in front of you, you'd never have the courage to ask.

“Shoto, what the hell? You didn't even tell her about it before coming here?” Touya says, voice raising at his younger brother.

“I was trying to protect her..” Shoto whispers and that terrifying gut feeling you have is back, it gnaws away at your stomach until it twists into knots, you feel sick.

“The ritual, is one which takes place every todoroki wedding, to truly become a member of the Todoroki household you must become one with the name itself, to do that one must give themselves over completely to that names original owner” Enji says, his hold on your shoulders is released as your mind tries to desperately make sense of the words.

“What..I don't..”

“Put simpler, you must conjugate with me.” 

“Dad please...I love her..” Shoto begs and Enji huffs out an amused puff of air. 

“This is the only way, if you want to be married, then you’ll do as the tradition says”

Enji walks around the couch and stands in front of you, he holds out his hand and you place your smaller one in his, Shoto’s fingers run through his hair and pull on it anxiously. Enji slowly walks with you out the room. He takes you to a room that seems oddly placed compared to the others. You’re confused, you want to find shoto but his grip is so strong it silences any thought of rebellion instantly. He unlocks the door and inside is nothing, the room is completely empty except for a single bed.  

You’re completely unnerved. He let’s you go and shuts the door, he sits on the bed and pats the space next to him, encouraging you to sit. You do.

“Mr.Todoroki...I...I’m scared, what’s going on?” you ask, your eyes glued to your hands that stay perfectly folded in your lap.

“We’re going to have sex” he says straightforwardly and you lift your head slowly, waiting for him to say it’s a joke. But he doesn't.

“But- I’ve alway had plans on saving myself for Shoto...o-on our wedding night, I don’t want to disrespect your traditions but..I won’t have sex with my fiancé's father” you state, voice gaining a little bit of confidence at the end. 

He grips your chin in his hand, your eyes meet his and the look in them makes you want to run and hide, he isn’t a man. He’s a monster. 

“My dear, the moment you stepped foot in my house was the moment you lost your right to choose.” 

A knock on the door makes you jump as the Todoroki siblings file in one by one.  Shoto is last, his hair is messed up as if he’d been pulling on it relentlessly, his eyes are red and his cheeks are visibly wet. 

“Sorry..y/n I’m sorry, but this is the only way” Shoto whispers and he turns around, defacing you as his siblings approach where you're sitting and begin undressing you. Shoto flinches as he hears your screams of struggle and panic. He can feel his heart sinking into the depths of his gut and tears fill his eyes once more. You fight desperately to keep your clothes on but they tear them off of you, leaving you in nothing but underwear. Your eyes begin to water as you cover yourself up with your arms, trying to hide as much as your body as you can. 

“Now now, you should know who I am and what I’m capable of, surely you don’t think hiding yourself with those twigs you call arms will stop me” Enji gloats, narcissistically parading about his own strength. He tears your arms from in front of your chest and pins them above your head. The Todoroki siblings tie your hands with a dark red rope that feels itchy and rough against the skin on your wrists. 

Enji pries open your legs and leans down to be eye level with your pussy. The man’s serious face is enough to still your writing for a bit as he hums. One of his thumbs pulls at the lip of your cunt, exposing more of the sensitive flesh to the man’s beady cerulean eyes. His thumb presses down against your clit and you jump, a soft mewl escaping shamefully from your lips at the sudden touch. 

You hear a thud and see Shoto leaving the room and disgust for yourself fills your gut and all of sudden you could hardly breathe. You in took and exhaled shaky breaths and fuyumi takes a seat on the bed next to your head, she shushes you and pets your head softly. 

“It’ll be okay..shh don't worry” she says in a soft voice with a gentle smile and you look past her with tear filled eyes to see Touya standing against the wall with a hard-on pressing against his pants. 

“Please..help me I-fuyumi please” you beg and she presses a kiss to your forehead. Enji begins rubbing circles over your clit and your hips raise off the bed, against your own will. You shake your head back and forth with small pleas falling from your mouth as the coil of heat tightens in your tummy and just as you’re about to cum he pulls away and you whine. He chuckles, 

“Silly girl, don't you know you're only meant to cum for your husband?” 

You hardly get what he means but even so, the fact that you were going to cum just from having your clit played with a bit by the father of your soon to be husband was extremely humiliating and taboo, extremely taboo. And yet, here you were, cunt slick with your own arousal, pussy clenching anxiously around nothing as the desperation, the need, to be fucked was eating away at your morality.

Enji shuffled out of his pants and suddenly you felt a wave of anxiety pass through you. You peered down from between your legs and saw the monster that was his cock resting between your folds. It was huge. Thick, with veins lining the shaft. The head of his cock was cherry red and angry, it leaked a few drops of pre-cum from the slit and you could feel the bile once again rising in your throat. The previous haze of arousal you had simmered down into a deduction of pure horror. You squirmed. Fat globs of tears and snot running down your face as an attempt to stop what was happening. But your movements were meaningless as he pressed the head of his cock against your weeping cunt and pushed in. You yelled. You screwed your eyes shut as he pushed in until he was fully seated inside of you. It burned and it hurt, felt like being torn apart. You yelled out for Shoto. You screamed his name as his father began roughly fucking you, not minding the calls of his son. 

After a while however, you cried not because of the pain but because of the pleasure. His cock was so thick he had no need for precision because he seemed to hit every spot that managed to melt your mind into a puddle of goo. Shamefully, your cries turned into ones for “Enji! Oh gods! Enji fuck me harder!” and less for your beloved Shoto. 

It felt sinfully good, sex with your fiancé’s father, the thought alone had your cunt squeezing down on the girthy cock like a vice. Your vision was blurring from the tears that began form in your eyes, every thrust he made rocked the bed into the headboard. Slick drooled from your cunt and formed a pool under your ass, the head of his cock brushed against your g-spot with every thrust and you couldn't hold back the desperate plea to cum. Enji hissed as he announced the arrival of his own orgasm. You were teetering on the edge right as he came inside of you, leaving your cunt throbbing and unsatisfied as he pulled out. He stood up with and walked around the bed to untie you. 

He kissed your cheek, 

“Welcome to the family.”

[apollocabinrep]

Dear Bianca,

Writing letters is a lot harder than mamma made it seem. I think if the nymphs saw how much paper I've tossed away, they'd throw me in the lake. I'm staying at camp now, so I've made it easier for them. We have our own cabin, well I do. Annabeth said you would never get to be in it, because of joining the Hunters.

Some part of me wants to be mad at you for leaving me- both dying and choosing rebirth, but we both know I'm not, not anymore at least. I just really, really miss you. I took have mia sorellona for granted. I can't blame you for wanting to leave me though, I was a really annoying kid. And I didn't realize how hard putting up with annoying kids were until I got "stolen" by the Apollo cabin.

My boyfriend, yeah I have one of those now, Will has two younger siblings, Austin and Kayla. Between me and you, Austin is my favorite. They're not 10 year olds obsessed with Mythomagic but Gods, Bi, I have no idea how you did it. They're not bad, just exhausting to be around sometimes. Actually so is Will. Bi, he is making me catch up on films, though people now just call them 'movies'. It's a weird word, but apparently I'm old for preferring to call them films.

We have another sorella, too. Her name is Hazel and she's Roman. She's helped me through a lot. At first, I saw her as a replacement for you, but truthfully, I'm really happy to have Hazel as herself. You two are really different, but I couldn't be happier for it. That's a weird thing to think about, huh. Was I really a happy kid, Bi? After everything I've been through, it feels like I'm just now getting to be happy, but I know I was happy to have you in my life.

I really wish you hadn't gotten that stupid figurine. It wasn't worth your life. I would've much preferred my sister coming back alive, but I can't change the past. I have a best friend now, I think. His name is Jason and he's kind of annoying. He left with his girlfriend Piper to go find their recently undead friend Leo. He also builds shrines for the Minor Gods, which is pretty cool. It hopefully keeps them from trying to kill us, and he is really excited about it.

Gods, Bi, nothing this good ever lasts long for me. It's terrifying and I wish you were here to give me a hug. Healing is really hard and if you knew the language I've started to use you'd be grabbing soap with a horrified face. I wish you could meet everyone. Not Leo. I'm still mad at him for pulling his dying not dying trick.

Do you think you'll remember me after your next life? I hope so. You don't have to worry about me so much. I plan to fight for this life I have. Everyone is insufferable, but they aren't bad people.

Your fratellino,

Niccolò

---

[Italian translations:

Mamma - mom

Mia sorellona - big sister

Sorella - sister

Fratellino - little brother]

[stargazer-sims]

Heart and Home

CONTENT WARNING - mention of violence

____________________

"You ever regret becoming a parent?"

Victor Okamoto-Nelson wishes he was anywhere but here, doing anything but participating in this uncomfortable exchange.

He folds both hands around his half finished bottle of red Gatorade and tries to ignore the fact that there are a dozen other members of hospital staff and at least as many people in street clothes in here, potentially witnessing this. Maybe it's a touch of paranoia, but he feels as if every pair of eyes and ears in the large room is on him and Ellie, and he has to resist the urge to fidget under the perceived scrutiny.

The hard plastic chair he's sitting in isn't doing much to lessen his need to move around, nor is the uneasy sensation in his stomach. Riding down in the elevator from the paediatric unit, he’d thought he was hungry, but the smell of overcooked vegetable soup in the hospital cafeteria is putting his appetite off, and Ellie's terrible question is contributing too. He feels queasy and he wants to leave.

He gazes at his fellow nurse across the cafeteria table. By coincidence, they're both on day shift this week, and when she saw him in the hospital parking lot this morning, she asked him if he'd mind meeting up for a few minutes after work. Normally, he doesn't like to hang around the hospital after his shift, but Ellie said she needed to talk to him about something and her tone seemed to imply it was important, so he reluctantly acquiesced.

So far, however, he hasn't figured out what Ellie wants. For the past ten minutes, all she's done is complain, trapping him in what has felt like a never ending cycle of nods and non-word responses of "Mm-hmm," and "Uh-huh."

Technically, Ellie is Victor's step-sister — they were both in their mid-20s when her dad married his mom — but he hasn't thought of her as a sibling of any variety in a very long time. These days, he's not even sure 'friend' is the right way to describe their relationship. They've known each other since they were babies and they'd been practically inseparable growing up, but careers, marriage, children, changing attitudes and differing perspectives on navigating life have pushed them apart. Sometimes, he feels like he doesn't even recognize her any more.

One thing he does know, though, is precisely how to answer Ellie's question about parenthood. His sweet Caroline has given him joy since the moment they first met, even before she became his and Yuri's legal child. Adopting a kid with albinism came with a set of challenges they hadn't been entirely prepared for, and they've had to learn a lot along the way, but he can say with honestly that he's never had a single hint of regret. He loves Caroline as if she were his own flesh and blood, and the idea of not having her is painful. Caroline has added so much to his and Yuri's lives, he can't imagine what their existence would look like now if they hadn't adopted her.

"Never," he says emphatically. “It was like some part of me was missing, and I didn't even realize it until Caroline came along and filled up that empty space."

"Lucky you," Ellie says.

"We are lucky," he agrees. "I wake up every day thankful that I've got Yuri and Caroline."

"Must be nice. Generally, I wake up asking myself what kind of disaster I'm going to have to face that day. Nora and Elliot are pushing my last button, and Leo's no help. He thinks the solution is to take Elliot and move into his parents' basement."

Victor studies his step-sister. She's exactly four months younger than him, but her appearance is that of someone ten years older. Her wavy brown hair is streaked with grey, and he's sure the dark smudges beneath her eyes are permanent. She looks exhausted in a way that a few solid nights' sleep wouldn't be enough to fix.

"Have you talked to Mom and Julian about any of this?" he asks.

She makes a dismissive huffing sound. "Dad and Grace are no help either. Grace says it's none of her business. Typical of her, honestly. And Dad won't do anything. He says he's supportive, but then he goes and tells me that Leo and I have to work our family problems out between ourselves."

"Well, he's not wrong about that second part," Victor says. "Yuri's mom told me and Yuri a long time ago that the way to have a strong marriage is to have good communication and to not hide anything from each other. We had to figure out how to do that together. It wasn't easy, but I can tell you it was worth putting in the work."

"I was kind of hoping for better advice than 'fix your own shit'."

"Believe it or not, that is the best advice," Victor says. "Even when things were at their worst, nobody stepped in and sorted out mine and Yuri's problems for us. Mom and Julian helped us a lot with advice and stuff, and so did Rei and Kenji, but Yuri and I really did have to fix our problems on our own, and I think we're stronger now because of that."

"Having a charmed life like yours must be nice," Ellie comments.

"I'm gonna pretend that wasn't sarcasm."

"Got any other pearls of wisdom other than telling me to solve my own problems?"

"I get that you're looking for something specific, but—"

"I'm looking for a miracle," Ellie cuts across him.

"I can't do those,” he says.

"God, I wish I could wind back the universe," she says. "I never would've agreed to marry Leo. Or maybe I would have, but I would've said no fucking way when it came to having kids."

"But... why?" he asks.

"This is probably going to be hard for you to understand since your kid is so perfect, but parenthood sucks for the rest of us."

"I don't think it sucks for most people."

"For me it does," Ellie says. "When I had Nora, I realized I gave up a whole chunk of myself that I'd never get back. Then we had Elliot, and... yeah. I gave up my freedom for those kids. I gave up my happiness, my independence and my whole fucking identity as a person for them. I lost my ability to enjoy my life just to make sure they could enjoy theirs, and those ungrateful little shits don't even care."

Victor is momentarily stunned. He has never met anyone who harboured such resentment toward their own children, and he's shocked and horrified to learn that his step-sister feels this way.

As for himself, he wouldn't say that he and Yuri gave up much of anything when they adopted Caroline. They haven’t lost their happiness or their individual identities, and they certainly haven’t given up their freedom.

Sure, Yuri had a less than smooth transition into parenthood, but he’d eventually found his footing, and Caroline's presence hadn't stopped him from doing everything he wanted to do. Yuri has grown his business, written three children's books, volunteered in the community and enjoyed his hobbies while parenting, and Victor has worked, volunteered and played as much as he's wanted to while raising Caroline as well. The three of them have travelled all over the world together, and they've had countless adventures and made the best memories. Far from being stifled after becoming fathers, having Caroline around has enriched them and expanded the scope of their experience.

"I'm sorry," he says, because he has no idea how else he's supposed to respond.

"No, you're not," says Ellie.

"I don't know what you're expecting from me," he tells her. "I just had to sit here and listen to you go on a huge rant about Elliot and Nora, and now you're telling me you never wanted them in the first place? I don't know how you want me to react to that, but i really am sorry. For you and Leo and your kids."

"I'm expecting you to help me."

"By doing what? Do you want me to tell Leo not to file for divorce, or not to move into Aunt Millie and Uncle Stephen's basement? Do you want me to tell Nora to come back from wherever she is and... I don't know. Be more like Caroline?"

"I want you to support me, and maybe have a little empathy," she says.

"I do have empathy for you, and I'm willing to support you, but that's kinda not what I'm hearing," he says. "It really sounds like you want me to agree with you and take your side, but you know I can't do that."

"You're my brother. You're supposed to take my side."

Victor shakes his head. "We're not siblings, Ellie. I think you know that as well as I do. I love you and I want to help if I can, but I'm not gonna let you manipulate me by trying to use the sibling card, okay? I know how you really feel about Julian being married to my mom, so you claiming to be my sister when it's convenient for you isn't the best way to go."

It's Ellie's turn to stare at him. A few seconds pass and then she asks, "Literally who are you? The Victor I used to know would've stuck up for me, no matter what."

"Maybe I'm not the Victor you used to know," he replies quietly. "We've all changed."

"Apparently," she says.

"Look, I don't know what's going on inside your head right now, and I'm not gonna claim I understand, ‘cause I don’t. All I know is, this shouldn't even be about taking sides. It's not you against Leo or you against your kids."

"How can you say that?" she demands. "It very much is me against Leo. He doesn't give a shit about me or Nora. He just wants to take Elliot and get away from me."

Based on what Victor knows, this is a fair assessment of the situation, aside from the part about Leo not caring about Nora. From conversations with Leo, Victor knows that he cares very much about his daughter and is worried about her to the point of losing sleep. He's worried about his son too, which is part of the reason he wants to take Elliot and move in with his parents.

Of course, Victor can't say any of this aloud, even though some mean little voice in his brain wants him to say, Can you blame Leo for wanting to get away from you?

He pulls in a long breath, holds it for five seconds and then lets it out slowly. "Tell me something. If you could wave a magic wand and have the ideal family right now, what would that look like?"

"You're kidding, right?" Ellie scoffs. "Why would I answer a dumb question like that?"

"Just humour me."

"Okay, fine. My ideal family would be just me and my dog. But, if I'm stuck with the family I've got, I'd want a husband who listened to me, a son who didn't have special needs, and a daughter who wasn't a disrespectful, spiteful little whore."

It takes willpower for Victor not to comment on Ellie's description of Nora. He says, "Okay. At least part of that is achievable."

"What?"

"You want me to help, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"This is me helping," he says. "You can't do anything about Elliot's disability, obviously, but you can at least make an effort with Leo and Nora."

"Right. Neither one of them is going to change. Leo has pretty much mentally checked out of our marriage, and I could scream at Nora till I'm red in the face and it wouldn't achieve anything."

"That's one thing you can work on," Victor suggests. "You know how many times I've yelled at Caroline?"

"How should I know?"

"Zero. Exactly zero times."

"Because Caroline's so angelic, you never get angry at her?"

"No," he says. "Because Caroline is a thinking, feeling person who deserves to be treated with compassion and respect. I do get mad, and I get tired and frustrated, and I've had to raise my voice to be heard plenty of times, but I've never yelled at her in anger because my anger isn't her problem."

"How is it not her problem? If my kids piss me off, I sure as hell make it their problem."

"You blame your kids for your own reaction." It's less a question than an observation.

"They were the ones who caused it," Ellie says.

"No," Victor counters. "They do something that makes you feel angry, and then you choose to overreact and blame them for it. You know you can be angry and not take it out on your kids, right?"

"Maybe you can."

"I think most people can, if they make an effort," Victor says. "I mean, I don't look at Caroline and think 'I'm mad and it's all her fault'. It's more like I'm angry or annoyed about the result of some choice she made."

"But she made the bad choice," Ellie points out.

"Yeah, but the person who decides how I'm gonna communicate my emotions about that is me, not her. Plus, I still want her to know I love her even when she does something stupid, and I want the chance to teach her to make better choices next time. How much do you think she'd learn if I screamed and freaked out every time she did something I didn't like?"

Ellie's response is laced with scorn, "If I'd known the secret to having a perfect child was just to not yell at them, I would've stopped yelling years ago."

Victor sighs. "If you're not going to take this seriously—"

"You're not exactly offering anything helpful, are you?"

"I am, if you'd listen," he says, exasperated. "I’m gonna be brutally honest here. Before you start trying to fix your kids, maybe you can work on yourself, and you could do something about your marriage. Get some couples' counselling, and maybe take an anger management class."

"Leo's not going to go to counselling."

"Have you asked him?"

"No, but I already know he won't."

"Okay. Then I guess I'm out of ideas." Victor pushes his chair back and stands up.

"Wait," Ellie says. "You're leaving? Just like that?"

"Yes, because this conversation is going nowhere," he says. "I'm tired and I want to go home."

More than anything, he wants to cleanse his mind, not only from this awful encounter but from the entire stressful day he's had today. He wants a long hot shower and something more sustaining in his belly than Gatorade and a dried out blueberry pastry. But, most of all he wants Yuri to hold him. Yuri may be tiny and frail, but Victor has never known anyone with as much inner strength as Yuri has, and no one else can comfort him and make him feel as safe as Yuri can.

He imagines Yuri's little arms wrapped tightly around him as he starts to walk away. It's only a ten-minute drive between the hospital and their new house. Only ten minutes, and he'll be in Yuri's arms for real.

"Victor, wait," Ellie calls out from behind him. He doesn't stop. Not until he hears her blurt out, "Nora's pregnant."

That causes him to halt and look over his shoulder at his step-sister. "What?"

"Nora is pregnant," she repeats.

He tells himself he shouldn't go back, that it's a bad idea, but something compels him to disregard his own better judgment. He reverses his trajectory and returns to his seat at the table. "How do you know that? I thought she moved out and you didn't have any contact with her."

"I saw her at the supermarket," Ellie reveals. "She was with some boy, and he couldn't keep his hands off her belly."

"That doesn't necessarily mean anything," Victor says.

"Oh, it means something."

Victor thinks about standing in line with Yuri at their favourite café, hugging him from behind and giving him what Yuri likes to call 'secret belly rubs' despite there being absolutely nothing secret about it. Plenty of couples cuddle that way in public. He's seen people doing that exact thing in the checkout line at the pharmacy and supermarket loads of times, and he's never once assumed any of the recipients were pregnant.

"How do you know?" he asks again.

"She's popping out exactly the same way I did when I was pregnant," Ellie says. "Remember how big I already was at twelve weeks with Elliot? I don't think she's very far along, but it was noticeable to me."

"So... is this what you really needed my help with?"

"Yeah, it's connected to it," Ellie says. "I'm sorry, okay? I should've led with that.”

“Yeah.”

“I'm so done with everything right now,” she says. “I can't handle another crisis, and I don't want Nora bringing her problems back home. It was bad enough the last time she was under our roof, with the drinking and inappropriate videos and running off at all hours of the day and night."

"What are you saying?" Victor does not like where he suspects this might be heading. "I hope you're not about to ask if she can move in with us when she gets tired of being on her own."

"God, no," Ellie says. "I might be done with her, but I wouldn't push her over to you. She's made it pretty clear that she hates Caroline, and God alone knows what might happen if they were under the same roof. I wouldn't put your kid at risk like that."

"That's... something, I guess," Victor stammers.

"But I'm not about to put Elliot at risk either," Ellie continues. "I don't trust her to be around him, and I need to do something about it."

"Like what?" Victor asks, regardless that he doesn't really want to hear the answer.

"You know a lawyer, right?"

"Uh...yeah. Uncle Stephen," he says. "Otherwise known as your father-in-law."

"No, not Stephen," says Ellie. "Not Matthew or his son, what's-his-name, either."

"Arthur," Victor supplies. "Everybody calls him Artie."

"Whatever," Ellie says. "I mean Yuri's lawyer. The one for his business. She knows what she's doing, doesn't she?"

"Her name's Kadijah, and I don't think Yuri and James would keep hiring her to do stuff for the firm if she didn't know what she was doing. But, why do you need a lawyer?"

"Because Nora is turning eighteen at the beginning of November, and Leo and I won't have any control over her any more at that point. There'll be nothing to stop her from coming to the house if she feels like it, and I want a restraining order."

"You... you want what?"

"I don't want her being around her brother with booze and drugs and porn and God knows what else. He'll either end up getting hurt or he'll turn out just like her, only he won't be smart enough to keep from getting caught. I'm not having that."

"And you think getting a court order to keep your pregnant daughter away from your house is the answer?"

"I have to protect my other kid. What choice do I have?"

"I can think of a few," Victor says. "Like getting over whatever grudge you're holding and talking to her, for one. Maybe get her into a residential rehab program if you think she's actually using drugs. Set her up with either prenatal care or a termination if she's really pregnant. Anything except locking the doors and telling her she's not wanted."

"Nobody talks to Nora," Ellie says. "Leo and I gave up on that. We got tired of her screaming in our faces and putting her fists through walls whenever we said something she didn't agree with. You know she gave Elliot a black eye for telling us about the adult videos she was making."

"Before, you said he hurt himself falling in the kitchen."

"He did fall in the kitchen after his sister punched him. Leo heard him crying and ran in from the yard, and he had to pull Nora off him." Ellie elaborates. "She's out of control, and I'm done."

"You can't be done. She's your kid and she needs help."

"She needs help, but not from me. I don't want anything more to do with her, and I absolutely do not want her back in my house."

"Then, I guess you're on your own."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not helping you shut your own child out of your life," Victor informs her. "You don't have to be her best friend and you don't even have to let her live at home, but you can't give her the message that she's not loved or wanted. That'll guarantee you'll lose her for good."

"I think I could live with that," Ellie says.

Victor wonders if he's somehow slipped into a parallel dimension, because that's what it feels like. Although he's seen Ellie change over time, he struggles to reconcile the woman in front of him with the vibrant, cheerful and compassionate person he'd grown up with. When had she turned into this colder, harder version of herself? How had she transformed from the girl who had it all together and enjoyed helping others deal with their problems into somebody who seems as though she doesn't care enough to work on her own?

"You say that now, but I think you'd end up regretting it if you really did lose her." Victor says.

"No, I wouldn't," Ellie asserts. "You don't know what it's like to have a kid who hates you and does everything to spite you."

"No, and I'm glad I never will." This time, when Victor gets up from his seat, he has no intention of resuming it for any reason. "I'm sorry things are going bad, but please don't ask me for any more advice."

He barely notices anything on the short drive home. His sole focus is on getting there. When he pulls into the driveway, he's thankful to see the garage door open and Yuri's sporty little car inside.

Yuri is in the kitchen when Victor makes his way through the front door. Yuri's suit jacket is draped over the back of one of the stools at the kitchen island, and his work bag is on the island itself. He's in the process of loosening his necktie, but pauses at the sound of the door closing.

"Victor!" he exclaims. "What happened?"

Victor is flooded with relief at not having to explain that he's upset, or why. Right now, it's difficult to describe what he's feeling. It's more than one emotion. It's like anger, disgust and shock all tangled up with sadness, empathy and a crushing sense of helplessness. He's certain there isn't a single word for that, so instead of saying anything, he just holds out his arms.

Yuri comes to him immediately and slips his own arms around him. He leans into him and rests his head against his chest. Victor drops his arms around Yuri's shoulders and buries his face in his husband's hair.

"It's okay," Yuri murmurs. "You don't have to tell me now."

Yuri knows him so well, it's almost as if he's able to read his thoughts. The overwhelming gratitude he has for Yuri knowing exactly what he needs makes him want to cry, and he swallows painfully around the lump in his throat.

"I love you," he says against the top of Yuri's head. "I'll never stop loving you, and I'd never give up on you or Caroline for any reason, no matter what. I need you to know that, okay?"

"I know," Yuri says softly. "When you promised me forever, I know you meant it. I hope you know I meant it too."

"I know," he whispers.

"Whatever's going on, we're in it together just like always. You don't have to do anything on your own." Yuri tightens his hold, whether reflexively or on purpose Victor can't determine. "When you're ready, we'll talk about it, all right?"

He's fully aware there's no solution this time, nothing he and Yuri can realistically do to make it better for Ellie and Leo and their kids, but he'll tell Yuri about it anyway, if only so he doesn't have to carry the burden of his feelings alone. Perhaps Yuri can help him understand why this is affecting him so much, why it feels like a wound to his heart even though, in actuality, the situation has nothing to do with him.

He nods. "Okay."

"I love you," Yuri says.

All of a sudden, Victor can no longer fight his tears, but it’s okay if he surrenders. There's no judgment here. Yuri will shield him. Inside Yuri's embrace is the safest place he knows, and Yuri's quiet, steady presence is the perfect counterbalance to his flaw of being too sensitive and allowing his emotions to reside too close to the surface.

He tries and fails to take a deep, calming breath, only succeeding to produce a ragged gasp. Yuri strokes his back and soothes him with gentle sounds that might not even be real words in any language.

Yuri's voice is like an anchor grounding him, and his second attempt to settle himself goes better.

He wishes there were a bigger, weightier phrase to convey his gratitude for his soulmate and all he's done for him and for their amazing life together, but even if he doesn't have one, he's certain Yuri will understand.

After a few more deep breaths, he finds his voice and says, "Thank you."

[r1poutmygvtz]

longgg ramble/vent/whatever's on my mind, idk man i'm tired and should probably schedule another therapy appointment soon

also this is kinda just all over the place, idk my thoughts are kinda scattered rn for some reason

(tws: mental health talk, sh, suicide attempts, od mention, ed, body issues, weed + alcohol talk, medicine misuse, childhood abuse, pet + family death mentions, possibly more idk if i missed one lmk and i'll tag it and put it up here)

my mental health right now is so fragile i don't understand, like obviously i know i'm depressed, i've been diagnosed for nearly two years now but i should've been much earlier, maybe that's why it got so bad, i don't even remember why i was diagnosed tbh, i think it was my first time back after like a year and a half maybe two years of not being in therapy and obviously a lot of shit happened, in that time that i went without therapy i tried to kms three times, had an alcoholic phase, and got addicted to weed

it was also sometime around my birthday i believe, which would make sense on why i got diagnosed, im always super depressed around my birthday, i mean i was expelled on my 13th, my great grandma died the day after my 14th and the day after that i tried to kms and that was the most traumatizing one and it took me over 2 years to be able to take the meds that i od'd on again without freaking out, i was literally so high i can't even remember my 15th, 4 days before my 16th i graduated (horrible for me, i had a panic attack everyday leading up to it for like 2 weeks straight) and 2 days after that my cat that i had since my 12th birthday died, so there's literally nothing enjoyable about my birthday and it feels more like a curse than anything

anyways, i've been the same since i was like 8 or 9, i was depressed and dreamt/wished i would die or get seriously hurt, maybe i just wanted my dad to care about me for once or maybe i did really just want to die, im not sure, i can't really remember my childhood, my therapist says i most likely have ptsd from the abuse which would explain the memory gaps and dpdr (depersonalization & derealization for those that don't know, the derealization is confirmed by my therapist btw just not the depersonalization but that's probably only because i didn't bring that up)

i think the most fucked up part is the fact it took me 16 years to find out the abuse was also physical, i spent the entire time before that thinking it was only verbal towards me and my siblings but i guess not, also apparently all the times me and my sister went to my neighbors/aunts house was because we were hiding from my dad, i thought we just went over to watch cartoons because we didn't have them at home, idk it was just weird for me to find out 7 years after it stopped, it doesn't really bother me all that much tbh my dad was already dead to me and i've been mostly no contact with him for almost 3 years now

also speaking of me as a kid, that's when a lot of my problems started, i was 9 almost 10 for the dpdr and 8 or 9 when i started hating my body, sh came in later tho i was like 10 or 11 when that started, i actually remember being like 9 and writing down everything i ate on a piece of paper, and when i was 10 i kept a notebook full of what i weighed in the morning and night and would see the difference in it, i also vividly remember asking my mom how many calories were in something from mcdonald's and she told me i was too young to be asking that so i just kinda stopped after that which obviously ended up coming back, i mean just look at my account

anyways yea i just hate how back and forth my mental health is, one day i could be doing great and think i'm amazing and unbelievably pretty and smart and ill try to better myself by getting sober and staying clean, then the next day i'll hate myself and consider going back to taking my meds throughout the day just so i was loopy and hardly able to process anything

tbh i do miss it a lot, i started back when i was heavily addicted to weed and would take my meds when i couldn't smoke, actually i used to take melatonin a bunch throughout the day so i could just pass out if anything happened that i didn't want to deal with (literally anything at all tbf) but that started to not work as well as i wanted so i turned to my meds, i'd take my nightly dose (50mg instead of the 20mg i was supposed to take) at like noon and would be loopy until it was time to actually take it, i didn't do it much tbh, my sisters bf caught on after the third or fourth time because i had just met his family for the first time that day and their dog tried to bite my face apparently and i didn't even react (didn't even realize it happened tbh) and he asked what was up with me and i told him bc i've known him forever, anyways yea he yelled at me to knock it off and went on about how it's gonna kill me if i kept doing it, so i did it like once after that and it's been months since i've done it again

it's kinda funny tho, those meds actually could've killed me regardless, i was supposed to take them three times a day but only really did once at school and i still got a bunch of the more serious side effects because i wasn't supposed to smoke while taking them but obv i did bc i was addicted, like breathing was hard, i nearly fainted all the time, my appetite was nonexistent, my heart was starting to mess up, like i literally thought i had a heart attack one day because the side effects were that bad and my mom and sister started looking up symptoms of POTS because that's what the side effects looked like, anyways i got taken off those months ago but i still have them somewhere and i'm fighting the urge to find and take them just so i have no appetite and so i'll sleep through the day

i think that's really all idk, there's more i was gonna say but i can't really remember plus this is already super long jfc, i don't expect anyone to actually read this, i just wanted it off my chest and i don't really trust talking to many people about this kinda stuff

[generalhumancloudalmond]

Ducks

Platonic!Yandere!Tartaglia x Child!Fem! Reader

What a strange red-haired guy... You come once every three days, at the same time, to feed the ducks in this pond. He does the same thing, only he doesn't feed the ducks, but just watches. Maybe he likes ducks?

Today you came to feed the ducks again, but this time you came earlier, not that you did it on purpose, it's just that your parents started quarreling and swearing about some debt, and you just decided to leave. The decision was spontaneous and you didn't have bread for ducks, but there was that strange guy. After sitting by the water for a while, you decided to go home, maybe everything settled down there. Looking at the opposite side of the pond, you didn't find the red-haired man and deciding that this was a good sign, you got up and walked away from the water. However...

"Hey! Little comrade! Please wait!"

When you turned around at the scream, you saw the same person. He ran up to you.

"Sorry for taking so long."

He took duck food out of his pocket, and noticing your puzzled look, he instantly begged.

"Please, I'm so far from home and miss my family so much, and you remind me so much of my siblings. Please..."

If it were another day, you would probably refuse and go home. But the next quarrel of the parents and the friendly appearance of this man, as well as the food in his hands, did their job.

"Okay, let's go."

"Thank you very much!"

He immediately beamed and held out his hand to you. You accepted it with apprehension.

"My name is Ajax by the way."

"Y/n."

For a while while you were feeding the ducks, both you and he were silent, but then Ajax began to tell you a lot about his family and surprisingly it was pleasant to listen to him. You were the only child in the family, and your parents worked very hard. You can't blame them, but you also can't not feel loneliness and longing either, because today was the very rare day when they were both at home and you could spend this day together, and they just quarreled. Therefore, listening to Ajax, you involuntarily began to smile.

"I wish I had a brother or sister, too."

"Ha ha... I can be your brother, and Tonya can be your sister. How does that sound?"

It was... a strange suggestion.

"No, thanks."

"Ouch, it hurts. But I have already written to my family that they will have a new family member. Each of them is looking forward to your arrival. They've even prepared a room for you. Wait a second..."

You're shocked. Is he kidding?

Ajax took out a bag of sweets from another pocket, they were different. These were sweets from Snezhnaya.

"My mom put them especially for you."

He handed you this little package and, still smiling, put his hand on your shoulder.

"Come on Y/n, just let me and my family take care of you properly."