#Wilson:2 Child:0

[wilsonthecrimepossum]

After eating my fair share, I can confirm that every bite of the birthday cake was delicious, thanks for inviting me.

[striveattemptfail]

You'll be there to push me up the hill | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 5.4k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 30 – Treasure

Summary: Five times Logan finds out something new about Wade's friendships, and one time Wade finds out something new about his relationship with Logan. Spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine deleted scenes. Mentions the extended cut of Deadpool 2. Rated for language. Takes place some time after the movie's events; assume Logan and Wade are back-up X-Men. Read on Ao3

A/N: This was just an excuse to write about Wade's movie friendships because I adore all of them lmao. Un-beta'd and I wholeheartedly apologize—this is a Mess™ y'all. Title is from Aretha Franklin's You're All I Need to Get By.

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My neighbors and my friends / are very dear to me / They are always there / whenever there is a need

We talk to each other / and we borrow and lend / Such treasures they are, / my neighbors and friends

How lonely and cheerless / a place my soul would be / Without such neighbors / and good friends as these

My Neighbors and Friends Edited Poem by Ellen Bailey

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0.

Ever since he moved to Wade’s timeline, Logan takes to his new world with relative ease. There are minor differences here and there—pieces of history that shook out differently, random names of things that are slightly altered, everyone he once knew just smells different here—but by far his biggest learning curve has just been integrating himself into Wade’s life. Deadpool out of his suit is as chaotic as he is in it, just with marginally less violence.

(Only marginally less because Wade never leaves home without at least one pistol and Baby Knife.)

But it’s not that Wade has the eating preferences of a child addicted to hot sauce, or that he can’t function without a quarter of a boner, or that he literally never shuts up (ever) that confuses Logan the most.

It’s Wade’s little mish-mash group that he calls a family.

Individually, everyone is fine. They don’t blink twice at Logan moving in with Wade and Althea, a dog in tow and a teenage quasi-daughter following shortly after. They’re all wonderfully kind people who welcome the three of them into their little fold of found family.

But he is pretty confused by how this eclectic group is friends with someone like Wade. Between Yukio’s bubbliness and Peter’s awfully mediocre lifestyle, half the folks Wade saved his universe for are some of the last people Logan thinks would hang out with Wade.

Willingly, at that.

Much less actually maintain a friendship with him.

It takes Logan a while to figure out that they fit into Wade’s life the same way he does.

Everyone stays because they somehow, some way, really do love Wade Wilson, and he gives them all the love he can possibly give in return.

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1. Dopinder

Dopinder’s driving Logan and Wade to a drop-off point where they’ll meet the X-Men for their next mission. When they first left the apartment, Wade had loaded up with Logan in the back. After about five minutes of highway traffic, the idiot decided to get into the passenger’s seat to sit next to Dopinder.

On the one hand, Logan’s pissed that Wade is pulling this shit. Getting kicked in the face by one of Wade’s boots when he squeezes through the taxi’s partition certainly doesn’t help.

On the other... well, it’s a great view of Wade’s ass.

(He will never admit that he kind of, maybe likes sitting next to Wade; finds his presence comforting before big missions like this one. But he’s not a fool. They may be dating but Logan’s never going to admit anything out loud, lest Wade starts to annoy him even more than he already does.)

Logan tunes out Wade and Dopinder easily, his mind occupied by mentally reviewing the details of their mission. He only tunes back in after another five minutes of traffic because Dopinder says something that piques his interest.

“But why does Peter get to go on X-Force missions and I don’t?” the cab driver whines, and Logan’s ear twitches at the name.

Dopinder can’t possibly mean Peter W—

“Because sugar bear is a bit more insane than you, my little toaster that could,” Wade answers easily.

Which means, yes, the two are talking about Peter Wisdom, Wade’s middle-aged ex-coworker from the Drive Max car dealership. Even though Peter had shown up in an ill-fitting Deadpool suit while fighting the Deadpool Corps, Logan still has no idea what the hell Dopinder’s talking about. He thought Peter’s interference during the Time Ripper fiasco was a random one-off thing. Does that mean Wade lets Peter tag along on missions regularly?

”I can be insane!” Dopinder retaliates. “I ran over than pervy orphanage headmaster, didn’t I?”

Wade nods. “That you did, Dopinder, that you did.”

“He fuckin’ what now?” Logan interjects, because the cab driver did what?

“Don’t you worry about it, honey badger,” Wade waves him off easily. “It was in the second movie—I’ll give you the run down later. It was actually pretty hilarious though, I’ll admit—”

“And I’m great at humour!” Dopinder points out. “You just said it yourself!”

“You don’t need an excellent sense of humour to become a hitman, but it does certainly help, in my very humble opinion,” Wade concedes. He looks out the window. “And yes, I said humble, not honest—you can pry that from my dead body, which is fucking never.”

Logan’s getting whiplash already and their mission hasn’t even started yet. What the fuck are they talking about? Dopinder wants to be a hitman? And is asking Wade for advice?

Logan can’t dwell on his questions for long because Wade turns back to Dopinder with a sigh. “Listen, goose, I already told you what you needed to hear last time: You’re an eagle and you gotta spread your wings! Seize the opportunity! Carpe that diem and all that jazz!”

He catches Dopinder’s confused expression. “I-I don’t recall you ever saying that...?”

“I agree that the metaphor was severely lost when I said it but I did say it!” Wade insists.

“O-okay... But then how am I supposed to seize it, Mr. Pool?”

“Just like you did with that pedophilic shitstain at the orphanage!” Wade pats Dopinder’s shoulder reassuringly. “When the time comes, you’ll know, my young Padawan.”

“I suppose...” he trails off with a nod. “Thank you, DP.”

Wade bows his head regally. “I am but your noble Jedi master.”

Logan almost feels dizzy by the exchange that just flew past him. Between Dopinder admitting he ran over a pedophile and Peter apparently being more insane than that, he almost misses the sincerity in their conversation. Dopinder looks genuinely comforted by Wade’s advice, which itself was surprisingly honest and helpful.

Who would’ve thought?

“Okay, we’re here!” Dopinder presses a button on the fare counter, where Logan catches the $38.19 price tag before Dopinder resets the machine back to zero. Logan’s about to ask why he did that even though they haven’t paid yet when Dopinder says, “Put it on your tab?”

“As always, my favourite cabbie.”

“Your tab?” Logan asks.

“Oh, DP doesn’t bring his wallet on missions,” Dopinder explains. “Ruins the lines of his suit.”

Wade shoots finger guns at him. “You got that right!”

“Are you fucking serio—you’re a dickhead, bub,” Logan sighs, reaching for his pocket. “Dopinder, I’ll cover the fare this time.”

“No, no! It’s okay, Mr. Wolverine, sir!” Dopinder shakes his head. “DP always pulls through when it comes to paying me back.”

“Peanut, I’m insulted you’d think I wouldn’t pay this earth angel,” Wade gasps, hand on his chest. “What kind of man do you take me for?”

“A mooch who also doesn’t pay rent on time.”

“How dare you! I always make things work.” Wade turns to caress Dopinder’s ear, and Logan suppresses the urge to start growling. “Don’t listen to him—our system is perfect and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

Dopinder laughs.

Wade unlocks his seatbelt. “High tens until next time?”

Dopinder raises his palms to meet Wade’s. “Until next time!”

As he exits the taxi, Logan wonders if he even wants to know what the hell just happened in front of him. Wade and Dopinder seem content though, so he leaves it be.

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2. Peter

Logan finishes jogging with Mary Puppins for her morning walk when he strolls up to their apartment. He’s not sure why Peter is there, just that the man greets him at the door when Logan comes home.

“Hey, Logan! Miss Puppins!” Peter says cheerfully, opening the door for the two to step in.

“Welcome back, honey badger!” he hears Wade call from the kitchen. “And welcome back to my little princess, too!”

Mary immediately skitters over to Wade’s open arms. Logan nods his hello before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. Once he’s done and changed, he steps into the living room to find Peter and Wade talking over coffee at the kitchen table while Mary naps on her bed in the corner. Logan walks over to pour himself a cup before grabbing the morning paper off the kitchen counter.

“Pfft, you’re such an old man,” Wade teases.

Logan doesn’t even bother dignifying that with a response and simply kisses Wade’s temple to properly greet him now that he’s cleaned up. Taking a seat, he lifts the broadsheet to his face after sipping his coffee.

“Hey, don’t make fun—I read the paper too!” Peter pokes Wade on the arm. “Anyway, did you give Agent B-15 my email?”

Logan isn’t even looking at him, but he can hear the utterly baffled face that Wade is making when he says, “Why the fuck would she need your email?”

He doesn’t expect Peter’s response at all.

“We kissed!”

He nearly drops the newspaper.

“Excuse the fuck outta your beautiful moustache?!” Wade exclaims.

“Didn’t I tell you?” Peter sounds honest in his confusion.

“No, the flying fuck you did not!”

Logan does his best to continue reading, but between the close proximity and Wade being loud as ever, it’s hard to ignore their conversation. He at least tries to make it look like he’s not blatantly listening to them, only peering over the top edge of the newspaper when Wade and Peter aren’t looking at him.

“Oh!” Peter pauses, and Logan catches a sheepish smile crossing his face. “Well, yeah, we kissed.”

Logan can’t describe the high-pitched noise that escapes Wade—he’s not entirely sure there are words in the English language that can.

“I’m so happy for you, sugar bear!” Wade cheers, leaning over to wrap Peter in a hug. If they were standing, Logan’s positive that he’d sweep Peter right off the floor. “Way to land a babe!”

When he releases a now laughing Peter, Wade punches him in the shoulder. Peter’s laughter quickly turns into a yelp.

“Ow!”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Wade demands.

Rubbing his shoulder with a whine, Peter says, “I really thought I did! I told—oh.”

“‘Oh’?!”

The appalled expression on Wade’s face is so hilarious that Logan has to cover his face with the paper again to hide his own laugh.

“Maybe I didn’t tell you,” Peter agrees. “I forgot I only told two people.”

“Before me?!”

Logan subtly drops his newspaper again just in time to catch Peter’s pinched expression. He takes another sip of coffee while Peter tilts his head side to side in a so-so motion.

“Um, technically you? Kidpool and Headpool live with me now—”

“WHAT.”

“—and I guess I mixed them up with you, ha!” Peter scratches the back of his head with an apologetic grimace. “Sorry.”

Wade takes a very deep breath, resting his elbows on the table to fold his hands together with a dramatic flourish.

He then begins to count with his fingers as he asks, “One: Did you fucking adopt two AU versions of me? Two: Whatever. I’m still so happy for you!”

Peter’s smile returns, growing even wider. “Thank you!”

“Now,” Wade squeals, “spill the tea, sugar bear! I want all the deets.”

He grabs both of Peter’s hands, practically vibrating in his seat like a high schooler listening to the latest gossip about the popular kids at school. It reminds Logan of the students at the X-Mansion back in his old world, way back when.

“Was there tongue action? Hand action? Groin action?” Wade waggles his non-existent eyebrows.

“Oh, gosh, Wade, I—”

Wade’s face splits into a scandalized grin. “There was?!” Even Logan’s eyebrows jump at that.

“No!” Peter immediately cuts in. “But, um, she was the one that kissed me.” His smile turns more bashful, red now colouring his face.

Wade nods at him encouragingly. “And...?!”

Peter squirms excitedly in his seat. “And she waved me goodbye.”

“FUCKIN’ SCORE!” Wade reaches a palm out that Peter meets with a high-five.

“Thank you, buddy!”

The two continue to talk about Peter’s apparently budding relationship with B-15, as well as how the hell he ended up with Kidpool and Headpool. All the while, Logan continues to read his paper and drink his coffee, confused but appreciative of Peter’s grounding presence whenever Wade starts going off the rails.

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3. Althea

At first, Wade’s friendship with Althea baffled Logan. But within 24 hours of living with them he realized why they’re thick as thieves: Neither of them takes the other’s bullshit. It’s apparent when Wade steers Althea into making better choices than spending a whole afternoon snorting cocaine, and Althea yells at Wade to act like an adult human being.

“Motherfucker, I wish left your sorry-ass homeless all those years ago,” she had hissed after Wade, yet again, said something stupid. Logan immediately became on edge—was this really happening at his first dinner here?

But Wade didn’t bite back. Instead, he had calmly asked, “Then who would be the one paying for the Hulu account?”

“Bitch, do you think I can’t swap out Disney for Hulu?”

“No, I think you wouldn’t realize that I cancelled your D+ subscription six months ago because you hated the mid-rolls.”

“Oh, right.” Althea had made a face, apparently remembering she said that. “Well, shit. Thank you, baby.”

“Yeeeup, that’s what I thought,” Wade had replied easily, shovelling more food into his mouth. “Also,” he muffled around a mouthful, “you’re welcome.”

“Don’t talk with food in your fucking mouth!” she chided, smacking her hand in Wade’s general direction.

Wade just stuck his tongue out at her with a disgusting mound of chewed up food, making a taunting noise as he did.

“The dipshit is sticking his tongue out at me, isn’t he?”

Logan could only nod. “Yes, he is.”

And that’s how their banter goes.

It especially turns up when they watch reality TV together. Logan doesn’t get the appeal, probably never will, but he does find it amusing to see how passionate both Wade and Althea are over who wins this week’s challenge, or who gets eliminated from the island, or who takes home the grand prize at the end.

“I swear to god,” Althea grouches one evening, “if that bitch Claire gets a rose and Tamia doesn’t—”

“You fuckin’ said it, Al!”

“My ass is blind and I can still see that she’s gonna divorce that boy two months in.”

“Exactly!”

The two argue over the contestants they like, shit-talk the contestants they hate, and argue during commercials over why their favourite deserves to win with an intensity that would probably count as verbal assault in the legal system. Whenever Wade gets up for drinks and snacks, he never asks Althea if she wants anything. He automatically grabs her favourites from the kitchen and sits back down without missing a beat of whatever heated debate they’re in. Althea wordlessly passes Wade the tissue box when he starts pulling down his sleeves to cover his face because a kid/widowed spouse/senior contestant tells their sob story during solo interviews.

Neither of them ever hesitate to lean their head on the other’s shoulder, or hold hands when things on screen get intense.

Once the show is over, Wade allows Althea to berate him for keeping her up way past my bedtime, goddamn it, I’m gonna be late for bingo again. And Althea allows Wade to bid her goodnight by calling her a geriatric cunt who can’t hang out with young things like me anymore!

(This is, of course, regardless of how late they actually stay up, because Althea never gets out of bed before 10am. Bingo starts at 9.)

They do this every night when Wade isn’t on a mission. In fact, Logan eventually realizes that Wade is usually the one who reminds Althea when their programming is on, mostly because when he and Wade are gone for jobs, she’s more than happy to catch up on their shows by herself.

Logan suspects that Wade not only enjoys their routine, but probably needs it more than Althea does.

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4. X-Men

At the next mission, he’s waiting with Negasonic and Yukio at the X-Mansion while Wade runs off to find Colossus. Logan just rips the Band-Aid off.

“Why the hell are you two friends with him?” He jerks his head towards the direction Wade left in.

“I’m not,” Ellie says.

“She is,” Yukio says. Ellie rolls her eyes and playfully pokes her girlfriend in the side. “Also,” Yukio continues with a sincere smile, “Wade is always nice to me.”

Logan grunts his acceptance at that—this universe’s Yukio is so friendly to everyone, he’s not surprised Wade took a liking to her. What she sees in Wade, he still has no clue, but he’s less perplexed by their friendship considering that (to Logan’s knowledge) Wade’s interests align with hers.

Eloise, on the other hand, he is still confused over. So Logan presses on, undeterred. “I’m surprised you haven’t blasted him to smithereens,” he says to her.

“I have.” After a pause, she tilts her head with a pinched expression. “Well, kinda.” At Logan’s concerned silence, she explains, “He was on top of a raft and I blew him up to the sky to help him save Vanessa.”

Logan has no idea what to say to that, so he goes back to his original point: “That doesn’t explain why you’re friends with him.”

He and Ellie stare at each other in silence.

“This ain’t an interrogation, bub,” he eventually says, voice soft. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t wanna.”

Ellie continues to stare at him, clearly trying to figure out if Logan has an ulterior motive. As curious as he is, he’s honest about not pushing her if she doesn’t want to tell him anything.

Finally, she sighs, crossing her arms. “He didn’t make fun of my codename.”

That... is not the answer he was expecting. “Really?”

Yukio wraps an arm around Ellie’s waist as she says, “From what I’ve heard, it’s actually quite sweet!”

“No, it isn’t,” Ellie refutes. “He just happened to be the first one to tell me it wasn’t weird or stupid.”

Negasonic Teenage Warhead is a mouthful, Logan does not say out loud.

“I thought he called it ‘the coolest name ever’?” Yukio asks with an innocent look on her face. Ellie rolls her eyes again but doesn’t dispute anything.

Then, she adds, “He also changed the labelling system in the kitchen from tape to velcro labels.” She looks away, but Logan can see the fondness cracking through her expression all the same. “But I’m pretty sure he only did that because he saw me bitching about people stealing my shit all the time and ripping off my labels.”

“Wade’s super nice,” Yukio confirms with a nod.

Logan mulls over this information with a quiet hum and a nod of his own.

Later, once the mission is completed and everyone is scattered around to help victims or talk to the authorities, Logan manages to corner Colossus alone.

“NTW tells me you are ‘grilling people’ about Wade, yes?” he asks in lieu of a greeting. Apparently, the Russian has been expecting him.

Logan doesn’t give a spoken answer but Piotr accepts his silence as one nonetheless. He places his hands on his hips, looking away to nod at Wade in the distance. Logan follows his gaze to find Wade with Laura, the two of them sitting with a little boy and girl—siblings, if Logan had to guess. It looks like Wade is trying to teach the three of them a hand-clap game.

“Wade is... not always good man,” Piotr starts, “but he can be. And he always give second chances, even to people who may not deserve it.”

Logan recalls Wade telling him about his misadventures with X-Force after their ride with Dopinder. “Like that Russell kid?”

“Yes,” he concedes, “but also me.”

“Hm?” He turns to look up at the giant again with a raised eyebrow.

Piotr meets his gaze. “He has told you I left him to Ice Box?”

“Hrm,” he grunts in assent. Logan knows better than to comment on that whole situation, even if he did get super pissed when Wade told him that the X-Men punished him and the kid so harshly.

“I did not give him second chance after his first and only mission as trainee,” Piotr admits with a regretful shake of his head, “but he still came to me for help with Russell, even after I betrayed him.

“He believed that I, a hero, could still save someone after I refused to save him.”

Piotr’s eyes wander back over to where Wade is, whose hands are in the air as he enthusiastically elaborates on something to a very patient Laura. The two siblings laugh at something he says.

“Wade is not perfect,” Piotr finally rumbles, “but perhaps what he is doesn’t need to be.”

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5. Vanessa

Civilian life does not suit Wade at all. Logan’s barely been in this timeline for a year and even he knows how goddamn awful Wade is at anything resembling normalcy. However, the one thing he apparently kept from his brief stint at it was game nights.

(Logan supposes there are worse things Wade could’ve continued doing, like using that god awful toupee that Wade still vehemently denies is a toupee.)

The majority of Wade’s game collection is of the tabletop variety. Logan knows the popular board game classics like Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Candyland—but there’s also card games with names like Exploding Cats and Cards Against Humanity.

(Wade and Althea have strict rules to never bring Monopoly, Settlers of Catan, or Uno into the apartment. Logan never asks why.)

Tonight they settle on Pictionary, with teams split into pairs randomized by an online generator: Laura and Yukio, Dopinder and Negasonic, Peter and Colossus, Vanessa and Logan, Dermot and Wade. Althea opts to be the referee and time keeper.

It’s unfortunate that Wade isn’t drawn as the pair’s illustrator (he’s surprisingly competent with crayons when given the chance) because that leaves Dermot as their artist, and he starts drawing god knows what as Wade yells nonsense guesses.

“A donkey? A horse riding a donkey! Donkey on a princess carriage?”

“No!” Dermot cries in despair.

Wade puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, fine! Not a donkey at all, what the fuck—”

Logan doesn’t even try suppressing his fond smile at his boyfriend’s increasing frustration. Wade looks ready to flip a table with each passing second—though, to be completely fair to him, Logan also has no idea what the hell Dermot is supposed to be drawing.

Since he and Vanessa already finished their turn (they got “chess” as their prompt, for which Vanessa drew the board and pieces easily), they sit next to each other on the sofa, watching their struggling partners with amusement.

“Last minute!” Althea calls out.

“Fuck!”

“Oh god, shoot, okay—”

Logan gently nudges Vanessa’s side with an elbow. “Shouldn’t you be saving your boyfriend from this? I think Wade’s about to pull out Baby Knife.”

“Nah,” Vanessa giggles, waving a dismissive hand. “They’re both adults—they can handle a round of Pictionary.”

Logan shoots her a skeptical look. “I disagree with Wade being an adult, but sure.”

Vanessa giggles again, her laughter turning into a cackle when Althea calls time, and Dermot and Wade groan in defeat. Then, Wade looks at the prompt.

“THAT THING IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GODDAMN BICYCLE?!”

“I’m sorry!”

“For fuck’s sake—”

The two argue (more like Wade bitches about losing while Dermot apologizes profusely for his lack of artistic skill) as Laura and Yukio get ready for their turn. Dermot tries to explain the exact parts of the bicycle he had drawn, and Logan lets out a snort at Wade’s appalled reaction.

“So,” Logan says as the next round begins, “Dermot’s okay with this?”

Vanessa turns to him with raised eyebrows. “‘This’...?” she trails off.

“You and Wade still being close enough for game nights?”

That’s an understatement to say the least. The two meet each other for coffee once every other week and maintain a long text thread filled with gossip and life updates. Vanessa always kisses his cheek hello and Wade never hesitates to hug her goodbye.

Her expression softens. “Dermot’s the most patient and understanding guy I know. I could never just abandon Wade, and he gets that.” She shrugs. “Game nights are nothing.”

“Hrm,” Logan grunts.

“Besides, Dermot likes hanging out with us,” she says. “I know Wade thinks he’s super boring, but it just means that whatever the fuck is going on in this apartment is already more than enough entertainment for him.”

Logan grunts again.

“What I’m surprised about is how chill you are with me, big guy,” she admits. When he makes a sound of confusion, she bumps her shoulder with his. “I could ask you the same thing, you know? Wonder why you’re okay with me still being close to Wade.”

Ever since he and Wade became official, Logan has managed to keep his simmering jealousy under control, if with a fair amount of difficulty. It’s not like anybody would be okay with their partner being best friends with their ex-fiancée, and Vanessa is still a huge presence in Wade’s life. Perhaps they’re not as inseparable as Wade and Logan are, but they’re still much closer than most would expect. Their casual physicality used to bother Logan to no end, even though both of them have reassured him that they really are nothing more than friends now.

Truthfully, Logan doesn’t know how the two manage to keep such a comfortable friendship after breaking off an entire engagement, but he doesn’t have it in him to worsen their relationship. It’s not just because Wade basically saved the entire universe for her, or that Vanessa is always so kind to him and doesn’t deserve Logan’s ire. He knows that Wade and Vanessa are good for each other in ways that he might never understand. And, at the end of the day, Logan is the one Wade will always come home to.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes he made in his old world and lose his family all over again.

Which means letting go of his pride, reigning in his possessive streak, and letting his boyfriend’s ex and her new boyfriend hang out in their apartment on game nights.

“You make Wade happy,” he answers honestly. “That's enough for me.”

Vanessa gently pats his hand, flashing him a small smile, and Logan knows that he’s doing the right thing because she stays in Wade’s life.

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+1. Logan

Wade and Logan are just outside of Who Gives A Fuck Town in It Doesn’t Matter State on a non-official X-Men mission. Charles had let them know about yet another Weapon X branch that popped up, blah blah blah, everyone knows the plot from here. The most important part is that the facility is so small that it technically doesn’t exist—even in a super secret underground government capacity—so dismantling it is out of the X-Men’s jurisdiction.

It’s a good thing Deadpool isn’t an X-Man then.

Wolverine tagging along on a freelance basis just happens to be a lovely bonus. Besides, Wade is all for letting his boyfriend take a much deserved slice of revenge pie against the program that tortured him.

Before they left, Hank gave them everything they needed to shut the shit down. From what X-Men’s intel could gather, the facility is laughably tiny and understaffed, with less than five so-called “test subjects” (gross) being experimented on. Once he and Logan subdue all the baddies and free the patients, all they have to do is plug in a USB to download the facility’s files before activating a trigger that completely corrupts their digital infrastructure. Typical superhero shit.

When they arrive, they’re met with what appears to be an abandoned specialty clinic about half an hour away from the closest town. The building is dilapidated and depressing as all hell—Wade is going to thoroughly enjoy fucking up the place and the shitheads in it.

Once they handle the expected group of gunmen that try (and hilariously fail) to stop Deadpool and Wolverine, they do unfortunately hit one snag: one of the patients apparently mutated into a slightly smaller, femme Juggernaut. Subduing her takes considerably more time than expected. Luckily for them, she isn’t wearing any protective gear—just her Weapon X uniform. After Logan gets thrown into the ceiling, Wade telepathically yells at Charles for help to take her down, and before long she’s passed out on the floor.

(Thank fuck old Chucky-boy can do that, to be honest. Wade almost wishes he could do the same, but he knows he enjoys violence too much to take the easy way out.)

He runs over to where Logan is groaning under the remains of the ceiling. After uncovering Logan from the debris, he’s able to stand up on his own when Wade pulls him up by the hand.

“You good, honey badger?” he asks, patting him down and assessing for any major injuries.

(If he happens to cop a feel of Logan’s giant arms and tits, he’s just trying to be thorough!)

“Yeah,” Logan says, slapping Wade’s hands away before wiping off excess dust and debris. “Just knocked my head a bit.”

Wade lifts his mask just enough to smack a kiss onto Logan’s cheek. Elbowing him playfully, he says, “Good thing your skull is made of metal, huh?”

Logan just shoves him with a dismissive noise in response, making Wade laugh as he pulls down his mask again.

They split up after that, Logan going to the holding room where the other patients are while Wade skips over to the control room to download this shithole’s entire digital existence. He quickly finds a computer and plugs in Hank’s USB, letting the device do its thing. In the distance, he can hear Logan easily taking down another group of armed men, presumably the guards in charge of keeping the patients in their fucked up prison test tubes.

When the computer beeps at him in completion, Wade hums as he pulls out the USB and makes his way over to where Logan and the others are. He’s about to turn the corner when he hears Logan talking to someone.

“I gotta ask,” a male voice (likely one of the guards) says, “are you dating Deadpool?”

Now that makes Wade pause in the middle of his stride. He stops at the room’s entrance, standing in the hallway because he doesn’t want to interrupt the conversation taking place. It’d be rude, after all.

“That’s none of your fuckin’ business, bub.”

“It’s just—I heard him flirting with you the whole time before you walked in here, man.”

“Still none of your fuckin’ business.”

“That’s not a no.”

Nope, Wade readily agrees, it certainly isn’t!

“The fuck is it to ya if I was?” Logan grumbles.

“I mean, really?” the guy says in a tone a little too incredulous for Wade’s liking. “What the hell do you see in that asshole?”

If he didn’t already ask himself the exact same thing a dozen times a day, Wade would be even more pissed than he already is at how disgusted the dickwad sounds. Give him some fucking credit!

He’s about to announce his presence—and extreme displeasure—when Logan growls, “He makes me laugh, you shithead.”

The statement is followed by the familiar sound of someone getting punched, a pained yowl, then silence. Wade stands quietly in the hallway, chest filling with warmth as he smiles to himself like an idiot in love.

(Well, he is an idiot in love. God’s perfect idiot, actually, and very much in love with Logan Howlett the Wolverine.)

“Hey, peanut!” he finally calls out, stepping into the room as he holds up the USB. “I got everything Hank asked for.”

They easily wrap up the mission from there but, to Wade, that’s not the biggest success he walks away with that day.

He makes me laugh, you shithead.

Oh, Wade cannot wait to unleash that tidbit one day.

——————————————

(More notes on Ao3.)

[all-pacas]

DIAGNOSTIC OLYMPICS, SEASON 3, EPISODES 1-12

S1: part one, part two, part three

S2: part one, part two, part three

Hi! I was curious about who on House (besides House) gets the most diagnoses right. Other folks have already run a tally (it's Chase), but I was curious how other factors would influence the tally — whose ideas get run with, who manages treatment, who screws up… So I thought I'd keep score.

1 point for getting the answer. This is almost always going to be House.

.5 points for Valuable Contribution — stuff that isn't the final answer, but either is thought to be the final answer or is valuable to the solving of the case. Stuff like "noticing something on the MRI" doesn't count; things like "figuring out how to treat" does.

-.5 to -1 for Mistakes — stuff that delays or prevents diagnoses, injuring or killing patients, etc.

MEANING DIAGNOSES: Scurvy for patient one, Addison’s for patient two

+2 HOUSE: One for curing scurvy girl, and one for Addison’s guy. That said, not a lot to say about this episode; the fellows didn’t do much besides follow orders and most of the episode was just about House. Which is fine, just boring for the purposes of this project!

CANE AND ABLE DIAGNOSES: Chimerism

+1 HOUSE: Still manages to pull it out in the end, despite being off his game. +.5 CAMERON: Is the one to figure out why the patient keeps having different results on his bleeding time tests (that isn’t “Chase fucked up”). Also has the idea to tag the foreign DNA in order to target it for removal. +0 CHASE: Yet another episode where he really bonds with a child patient, and he even tells off the parents for not being supportive. He doesn’t do much in terms of diagnosing, although he does a lot to take care of the kid. CHASE DID IT: Chase is blamed for screwing up a bleeding test: this is the second time him making a mistake has been the operative assumption. This time, Foreman really jumps on the bandwagon.

INFORMED CONSENT DIAGNOSES: Amyloidosis

+0 HOUSE: Sure, he solved it. But putting the patient in a coma against his will and insisting on treatment against his will is… shady. I mean, I get that sometimes patients don’t know what is in their own best interest and it’s a gray area, but we can all agree that this dude knew what he wanted and House utterly ignored it. -.5 CAMERON: She loses points for refusing to work on the case at all, which does count as “bad medical practice;” not to mention hypocrisy. She doesn’t want him to die, but refuses to treat him when House doesn’t kill him? She doesn’t lose points for the actual euthanasia: the patient was terminal and begging for it even before it was clear he was terminal, and that means she doesn’t get demerits for killing someone. +5 NURSE BRENDA: Watching her give everyone the stink eye this episode made me remember how great she is.

LINES IN THE SAND DIAGNOSES: Eye worms

+1 HOUSE: As per usual, figures it out. +.5 FOREMAN: His bedside manner is not winning him any points this episode. I don’t think it harmed anything, but his impatience and general rudeness wasn’t helpful, either. That said, his tricking Wilson into doing a biopsy for him was pretty great, and he gets his points for deciding a brain tumor is most likely, deciding he’ll biopsy and proceed under the assumption, and challenging House to come up with a better idea. House doesn’t have one, and so Foreman gets a merit for Leadership. +0 CAMERON: Did she do anything related to the case this episode? +5 NURSE BRENDA: Did they write her off the show because she went to jail for trying to murder House? I love her

FOOLS FOR LOVE DIAGNOSES: Genetic disease. And incest!

+1 HOUSE: Comes up with the genetic explanation after an episode of foundering. +.5 CHASE: Comes up with a diagnoses of salmonella based on pot use, which is a stretch but House likes it and they run with it; it’s wrong but it’s the only idea they have for a while. +.5 FOREMAN: Because they’re not thinking genetic, they really struggle to come up with a diagnosis. Foreman insists it must be two different diseases, and gets his way on a biopsy when House doesn't have a better idea. +50 UHHH: Foreman comes out really strongly pro-incest in this episode, and like, I understand his basic point (they didn’t know they were siblings and even though they are genetically family they don’t have a familial relationship), but what a wild take from our guy.

QUE SERA SERA DIAGNOSES: Lung Cancer

+1 HOUSE: Finally realizes the dude has cancer after noticing clubbing on his hands. +.0 CAMERON: Manages to break the MRI and get away with it, which should honestly be worth more points. But loses those points for drugging the patient because she didn’t think he could make his own decisions about his care, causing him to crash through a window. -.5 CHASE: Exiting the entire episode when House tells him to “keep sitting on his ass” is honestly super funny of him. However, it’s also putting his whiny fatphobia ahead of helping the patient, sooo…

SON OF COMA GUY DIAGNOSES: Genetic disease, but mostly heart failure.

+0 TEAM: IDK man. This is a good episode, but it’s also one with fake medicine and no real diagnosing because it relies on fake coma fixing medicine. The fellows work hard while the grownups have their road trip.

WHAC-A-MOLE DIAGNOSES: Genetic disease

+.5 HOUSE: House figures it out, but loses some points for keeping his team from helping Wilson, which in turn endangers Wilson’s patients. He also loses like five friendship points, but we’re not judging on that. +.0 CHASE: When House challenges the fellows to run a single test, Chase’s first guess is a virus, and he points out that the vomiting could have caused the heart attack. House’s theory is Hepatitis A, and he agrees with the heart attack/vomit idea. Chase ends up testing for bacteria and not a virus, but he was by far the closest of the three -- Foreman thought neurological, and Cameron thought a weakness in the heart. Chase doesn’t get points, because he didn’t actually figure it out, but I thought it was interesting to mention that he was by far the closest.

FINDING JUDAS DIAGNOSES: Light allergy

+1 CHASE: Honestly, part of me wants to give him more than one point for this. We’ve had a few episodes now where someone else has figured out the diagnosis moments before House, or after House, but this is the first time someone figures it out instead of House. Chase is about to go on a bit of a hot streak, though, so he’ll make up the bonus points later. CHASE DID IT: Both literally solving the case, and, when House starts to question the treatment, Chase preemptively (and angrily) suggests that maybe he screwed up, since that’s always where House ends up.

MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS DIAGNOSES: Autoimmune cancer

+.5 HOUSE: Figures it out, but steals oxy. From a dead patient, so I guess technically he didn’t do any medical harm, but… IDK, I’m counting it. +0 TEAM: Foreman comes the closest to being useful this episode: Cameron is too busy being mad at Wilson, and Chase is largely silent, I guess still smarting over being punched. But most of the episode is about House.

WORDS AND DEEDS DIAGNOSES: Meningioma

+1 HOUSE: Figures out just about every twist of the case, even while pretending to be in rehab. +.5 CHASE: Realizes the patient is hiding symptoms, which makes them realize he’s been having a whole series of heart attacks. Even Cameron and Foreman give him credit for the ‘breakthrough.’ +0 CAMERON: She correctly diagnoses broken heart syndrome, but misses the fact that the patient is delusional; that his partner and brother aren’t involved. This leads him to electroshock treatment and permanent literal brain damage. I don’t think she deserves to lose a point, since the electroshock was House’s idea and at the time it was the only solution they could think of. But it’s still a big thing to miss.

ONE DAY, ONE ROOM DIAGNOSES: N/A

RUNNING TALLY:

HOUSE: 44 (+8) TEAM: 5.5 (+0) FOREMAN: 3 (+1) CHASE: 6.5 (+1.5) CAMERON: 4 (+0)

Foreman has started to get himself into his niche of "able to successfully get his way over House," giving him such much needed points. Chase is about to go on one hell of a streak, starting of course with Finding Judas; even with a couple of demerits, he keeps having and getting credited for Good Ideas this season… which gets him fired, oh well.

[agereoneshots]

Other than Wilba, what do you think the age range of regression would be for the characters you think would use agere? If you want to, you could do this by itself but if you really want to do another one shot with it, that is okay as well.

For Wilson, I can see is range being anywhere from baby/toddler to teen/pre-teen so like 0-15 maybe?

For Willow, I think child so probably 5-10.

Maxwell is baby. Itty bitty. 0-2. (The more powerful they are, the more baby they are)

Wolfgang's probably an older regressor, so 10-17.

[circusgoth-dotcom]

𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛

The clown that once ran @painted-piggy-ships-archive has now taken up residence here after feeling exhausted with my very first self ship blog. It served me well for almost three years (the blog itself turns 3 in February of 2023). Can you believe I only joined Tumblr in 2020?

Anywho, the name’s Gabriel/Corey/Clownie and I am mostly attracted to a vast selection of fictional villains, but my other consistent interests include the arts (particularly film and writing) and the horror genre. This blog will be a mix of self shipping content and personal ramblings. I don’t often post straight up ns//ft content but my sense of humor can be raunchy at times and the content I’m interested in often tends to be gory/violent if not also sexual in nature so viewer discretion is advised.

Current Pronouns: They/Them, It/Its, Hye/Hymn/Hymnself, He/Him, Glow/Glows, Halo/Halos, ⭐/⭐s/⭐self, 🎄/🎄s/🎄self, ☎️/☎️s/☎️self, 🪓/🪓s/🪓self

Other Blogs: Horror Content - @phone-in-the-attic Film Reviews/etc - @cinephile-inc Batman Content - @the-jokers-husband Harry Potter Content (For people who hate JKR and aren’t terfs/bigots/etc only, of course) - @that-transsexual-slytherin (previously “americannslytherinn”) FNAF AU blog - @wheretheresaway-theresawilliam Sheep & Goat blog - @sweetness-of-the-lambs Stim blog - @carnival-stims Main/Dump - @offbeat-the-clownlord 18+ Blog - Ask for link if of age and interested ;0)

DNI: Terfs, bigots (racists, homophobes, etc), Joker/Harley shippers, proshippers, generally hateful people

F/o list below the cut (Short version) | See the complete version here!

Key: 💗 = Main | 💞 = Secondary | 💝 = Tertiary | 🏡 = Familial | 🌻 = Platonic | ✨ = Main Focus | 🔒 + bold = Not Comfortable Sharing

Structure: [f/o name] [source] | [relationship status or type] [marriage or engagement date if applicable] | [tag]

🔒✨ 💗 The Joker [DC Comics] | Married (12•04•21) | 🃏A Joker and His Ace🃏

💗 Wade Wilson/Deadpool [MARVEL Comics] | Married (07•12•22) | 💣Bulletproof Boys💣

🔒✨ 💗 Jack Torrance [The Shining] | Married (12•31•22) | 🪓Darling - Light of My Life🪓

🔒✨ 💗 Charles “Chucky” Lee Ray [Child’s Play franchise] | Married (03•19•20) | 🌈Foul-Mouthed Little Fucker🌈

✨ 💗 Betelgeuse [Beetlejuice] | Married (10•01•20) | 🪲Two Bugs in A Rug🪲 [🐞Two Bugs in A Rug🐞]

🔒✨ 💗 Severus Snape [Harry Potter Franchise] | Married (date n/a) | ⛅He Saw a Glow in The Darkness⛅

🔒💞 Michael Myers [Halloween franchise] | Dating | 🔪The Night He Came Home🎃

💞 Anton Chigurh [No Country For Old Men] | Dating | 🐮Sugar Bully🐮

💞 Dr. Otto Octavius [Spider-Man 2 (2004)] | Dating | 🐙6 Arms to Hold You Tight / Does That Make You an Insect???🐙

💞 The Metatron [Dogma] | Dating | 👁The Metatron🪶

🔒💝 Hannibal Lecter [NBC’s Hannibal] | Dating | 🍽️Ella et Porcus🍽️

🔒💝 Sweeney Todd [Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street] | Married (08•19•21) | 💈I Will Learn to Love Again💈

💝 Dr. Frank-n-Furter [Rocky Horror Picture Show] | Dating | 👠Material Girl👠

💝 Ashley “Ash” Joanna Williams [Evil Dead franchise] | Dating | 🍂Good. Bad. He’s The Guy With My Heart.🍂

💝 Scott Pilgrim & Ramona Flowers [Scott Pilgrim series/franchise] | Dating | ❗Multiplayer❗

💝 John Kramer [Saw franchise] | Married (08•17•23) | 🧩The Missing Pieces🧩

🔒 🏡 Pamela Voorhees [Friday the 13th] | Adoptive Mother | 🧸Mama Voorhees🧸

🔒 🏡 Jason Voorhees [Friday the 13th] | Adoptive Brother | 🧸Jason🧸

🏡 Morticia Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Mother | 🥀Black Is Such a Happy Colour🥀

🏡 Gomez Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Father | 🤺Either Way What Bliss🤺

🏡 Wednesday Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Sister | ☠️Poison Sister☠️

🏡 Pugsley Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Brother | 🧨Explosive Brother🧨

🏡 Fester Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Uncle | 💡Uncle Fester💡

🏡 Addams “catch-all” tag: 🕷️*Snap Snap!*🕷️

🏡 The Sawyer Brothers [The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Pt. 1 & 2] | Cousins | 🍖Sawyer Family Shenanigans🍖

🏡 Glen & Glenda Ray/G.G. [Child’s Play franchise] | Step-kids/kid | 🎸Rebel & Rhinestone🎀

🏡 J. Jonah Jameson [Raimiverse Spider-Man] | Uncle | 🗞️

🏡 Fairy Godmother [Shrek] | Adoptive Mother | 🔮Just a MA! Away🔮

🏡 Prince Charming [Shrek] | Adoptive Brother | 👑Charming Siblings👑

🏡 Lydia Deetz [Beetlejuice] | Step-sister | ☔My Whole Life Is One Big Dark Room☔

🏡 Harry James Potter [Harry Potter Franchise] | Adoptive Son | ⚡👓

🌻 Tiffany Ray-Valentine [Child’s Play franchise] | 👰Living Dead Girl👰

🌻 Barbra & Adam Maitland [Beetlejuice] | 🌻👻 [🌻]

🌻 Peter Parker [MCU & Raimiverse] | 🕸️Spiderboy🕸️

🌻 Nellie Lovett [Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street] | 🥧Try It! (You Might Like It)🥧

🌻 Jay & Silent Bob [View Askewniverse] | 🧢The One That Talks (Jay)🧢/🧢Cute Motherfucker🧢

🌻 Dante Hicks [Clerks Trilogy/View Askewniverse] | 🏒What Are You Looking At Ya Hockey Puck (Dante)🏒

[discount-limeade]

Slipknot vs. Batman

This is clearly the natural progression from my last Knot review.

So how this is gonna go is, Slipknot are Touring during the Iowa Cycle. Tonight's show is in Gotham City. On the way to the venue, Several things go Awry.

Enter Batman.

Shout out to this Dome shot.

It's Robert Pattinson's Batman Because Slipknot could ONLY exist in The ReevesVerse.

0. Sid Wilson

Shriek

(I'm also gonna give them Villain Names)

Is Shriek the name of the chick from Venom? Guess we'll never know.

Stepping off the buss, Sid is immediately reeking of weed. Batman Took a D.A.R.E. course in grade school and knows that saying 'no to drugs' is Cool. Sid is Taken down With a Swift kick to the back of the Legs. He does not put up a fight.

1. Joey Jordison

Porcelain Prince

You know you like the name. Let's get this going.

Scavenging for some food Around the city, Batman sees Joey playfully punch Corey on the arm. "Violence is Wrong," The Dark Knight Whispers. Stalking his way towards the pair, He swoops in and Punches Joey in the Face. Dazed, Joey Let's out a "What the fuck, Are you Batman ??"

Another punch.

"Why the fuck are you on me?" The Smaller man Asks, Fear in his voice.

"Justice." A third punch is administered and Joey is down.

Corey is stunned as Fuck.

2. Paul Gray

The Filth

There's Already The Pyg.

Paul was Actually Caught up in a Case of Right place, Wrong time. Deciding to Tour the historic City, the Band Was Booked to Visit the Famed Wayne Manor. A few of the Men showed up Early to get a closer look without all the supervision. While the others were busy looking around, Paul was digging inside a Silver closet.

In that moment, the back wall shifted.

Batman emerged from the Shadows.

He'd heard of this new guy from the locals but didn't Quite believe the legends.

He introduced himself.

Batman Swiftly Tased him.

3. Chris Fehn

The Liar

Original, I know.

Stuck in Gotham due to harsh weather conditions, Chris found himself Playing Golf with The Social Elites. Alfred was in attendance that day, a rare day off from watching his Man Child Subordinate.

On a particular stressful hole, Alfred found himself glancing around, quickly spotting the long-nosed mask.

Chris was Jerking his nose nervously.

Seeing an older, clearly more experienced man struggle with the course was not a good sign of things to come. Had his mask been unzipped, he'd be biting his fingernails in anticipation.

Alfred doesn't like the way this guy is looking at him and making obscene Gestures.

After the game is over, he informs Bruce.

Chris is taken out from behind.

He lands one punch Batman's collar bone before he gets absolutely Folded.

4. James Root

The Collector/ Puppet Master

At this point I don't even Care if they're Iowa Era Pictures, you get the idea.

On the night of the show, Jim went into Gotham town Square To get a few Supplies (Tape and Beer).

Walking through the dim Streets, He happened upon a Robbery in progress.

Being a man of Substantial build, He Stepped in.

Taking the Purse from the Would-be Robber just as Batman pulled up.

Using his expert Detective skills, Jim was Obviously the robber and it definitely was NOT the guy running down the alley.

Batman begins his Assault.

Jim put up a good fight, his Ultimate Downfall being a nightstick to the Neck.

5. 133

Iron Spike

Sorry about the filter, I love this picture.

Walking through a crowded area, Craig was Shoved into a few people behind him.

Like a hungry shark, Batman smelled the blood.

Craig Stood no chance, Not that he even wanted to Try.

6. Clown

Reminds me of Chop Top With that hanger, scratchin his head.

Shawn was walking through the city talking at his Normal Loud Volume.

Some guys told him to Shut up.

This was met by audible winces from the accompanying Band Mates as The Clown made his way across the street To Fuck these guys up.

It took almost every tool on Batman's belt to get the man down.

Eventually he was thwarted by the Shark Repellant. It has some sort of chloroform like Agent in it.

7. Mick Thomson

Leather Devil

Once again just going with the mask name because it fits.

Trying to avoid the general public, Mick Found himself in a Quaint bar in the Narrows.

Unbeknownst to him, famed Kingpin Penguin had been tracking the band since they arrived in the city and was Currently approaching the Man.

"Long Night?" A hefty man sat on the stool Beside him. Mick grunted in agreement.

"Do you have a pen?"

Mick was getting Aggravated, he wanted to be left alone, Not sign autographs. Does it look like he has a fucking pen.

A disheveled looking Batman stubbles out of the bathroom at the same moment Mick stands up from the bar.

Penguin claps him on the back. "Maybe next time Micky."

Cobblepot in Cahoots with Slipknot? Time to step in and save the Day.

Mick Simply walks out of the bar before Batman can even think about an approach tactic.

8. Corey Taylor

The Creature

The famed creepypasta "Creature".

Back to Joey's entry.

Corey put up a fight to keep his friend from being beaten up. He jumped on The Bat's Back and tried to draw as much attention as possible to the scene.

He escaped this encounter relatively unharmed.

Taking note of Where his bandages had last been seen, he made it his Duty to get revenge on The Batman.

To be Continued...

Love Bad Fanfic. This didn't go nearly the way I thought it would but that's okay because It's still Exactly what it needs to be.

[thepringlesofblood]

so in the odyssey, the phaeacian king has some divine heritage, right? classic shit, royal justification, etc. but the divine heritage in question is fucking bonkers.

so. let’s start with The Giants. after the Titans, they’re kind of the next “evil more powerful versions of the gods that get defeated by the gods, yay olympus!”

The king of them, Eurymedon, is a huge dickwad. he kills a bunch of people and then dies. only his youngest daughter, Periboea, survives. “Poseidon slept with her. She had a child.” series wrap on Periboea.

The kid is Nausithous, the first king of Phaeacia. He’s just sort of a great king, not a war hero or magic boy or anything, just a good ruler which is WILD considering he is FULLY NOT HUMAN. he’s the son of one of the most powerful Olympian gods and a Giant, and he lives his life out as king of a mortal, human city-state with a mortal family. good for him.

Nausithous has 2 kids, presumably with a mortal human woman (or women) (otherwise they probably would’ve said), Alcinous and Rhexenor. Rhexenor dies young, before he can have a son to inherit all his stuff. He does have a daughter though, Arete.

Alcinous is all set to inherit Nausithous’ title and become king (idk if he steps down or dies? i mean his parents are both immortal its very possible he just sort of retired), but Arete is kind of a loose end in the line of succession. How do they solve this? Pick your answer below.

A. Alcinous adopts Arete, his niece, as his daughter, and becomes king.

B. Arete’s mother (who doesn’t even get a name rip) inherits her husband’s title, Alcinous marries someone else and has a son to inherit his title and thus the crown.

C. Alcinous marries and has a child with Arete, his niece, and they become king and queen of Phaeacia.

Did you guess C? I’m sorry, you were right! Gross!

so let’s do the math here on divine heritage bc it is. WILD.

Nausithous = half Poseidon, half giant. 0% human, 100% divine.

Alcinous & Rhexenor = 1/4 Poseidon, 1/4 giant, half human. 50% human, 50% divine.

Arete = 1/8 Poseidon, 1/8 giant, 3/4 human. 75% human, 25% divine.

Nausicaa (the child of Alcinous and Arete) = 3/16 Poseidon, 3/16 giant, 5/8 human. 62.5% human, 37.5% divine.

this is all extrapolated from the description of Alcinous’ heritage on pg 210 of Dr. Emily Wilson’s translation of The Odyssey.

i been studying classics for over half a decade now, and shit like this still sneaks up on me sometimes.

[finduilasclln]

I posted 12,208 times in 2022

309 posts created (3%)

11,899 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@princessfbi

@littlespoonevan

@woodchoc-magnum

@justsmilestuffhappens

@reyescarlos

I tagged 12,184 of my posts in 2022

#0 - 7,035 posts

#eddie diaz - 4,081 posts

#buck - 3,971 posts

#evan buckley - 3,969 posts

#buddie - 2,837 posts

#911 spoilers - 1,510 posts

#911 cast - 790 posts

#chimney han - 645 posts

#the avengers - 618 posts

#hen wilson - 587 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#as a father he can't actually leave his child alone and he can't get carla or buck or whoever every time he wants to go for a run

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I saw the angel in the marble...

Ko-fi

Companion piece

337 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

#4

358 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#3

This one has been giving me such a headache. I've been working on it off and on for weeks. I can't decide whether I am pleased with it or not. Lol. So I've just decided to post it, so I can stop working on it.

Uncropped version and colored version under the cut.

Reblogs are love!

Ko-fi

See the full post

387 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#2

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free

Ko-fi

I was asked to post them together, so here you go... :)

562 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

...and carved until I set him free...

Ko-fi

Companion piece

589 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[h50fics]

Spark

by knightkid

spark /spärk/ noun 1. a small fiery particle thrown off from a fire, alight in ashes, or produced by striking together two hard surfaces such as stone or metal. 2. a trace of a specified quality or intense feeling. "a tiny spark of anger flared within her"

In every universe, Buck becomes a firefighter, they find that spark within themselves that is dedicated to helping as many people as they can. This just happens to be the universe where Buck is a woman.

Words: 72, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV), Hawaii Five-0 (2010)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Steve McGarrett, Danny "Danno" Williams, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Athena Grant, Howie "Chimney" Han, Original Male Character(s), Original Child Character(s)

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Maddie Buckley/Doug Kendall, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

Additional Tags: Female Evan "Buck" Buckley, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Autism Spectrum, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

via AO3 works tagged 'Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams' https://ift.tt/LYxbXRB

[rosalieplots]

Rosalie plot page

TRIGGERS ON PAGE: Mental Health

Name: Rosalie Lauren Cooper

Age: 29

DOB:08/09/1994

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Straight

Hometown: Cleveland, OHIO

current home: Los Angeles

occupation: Photographer/Model

3 pos traits: Super Loyal, Loving, Reliable

3 neg traits: Insecure, self deprecating, Defensive

Bio: Rosalie grew up as an only child and was raised by her dad and grandmother due to her mother being ill and in and out of the hospital alot of her childhood, causing her to have quite a bit of issues with a hard relationship with her mother. She moved to LA when she was 21 and has made her way up in photography and modeling. she is unfortunetly very defensive due to being more sensitive than she will ever admit, and she can be very closed off with other people when it comes to letting them in. She has a huge heart and would do anything for those she loves but doesnt like letting anyone help her she is stubborn, heard headed exterior with a soft interior.

BASIC PLOTS

FWB (0/3)

BEST FRIENDS/PARTNER IN CRIME(0/3)

POSSIBLE HALF SIBLING (0/1)

PLOTS BASED ON SONGS:

(0/1)MORE THAN FRIENDS BY LUKE NELSON AND LAINEY WILSON-Let’s “pretend we’re more than friends tonight,Let’s pretend and let each other Forget tomorrow ”- someone that Rosie is good friends with that maybe both have feelings for one another but dont want to ruin their friendship along the way but then one night happens and well we can go from there.

(0/1)THICC AS THEIVES BY LAUREN ALAINA-’Thelma and Louise and some faded blue denim’- this is basically Rosalies Ride or Die and she is theirs, someone that she would do anything for and is her entire best friend/life and knows everything about her.

(0/1)SHE NEVER CRIED IN FRONT OF ME BY TOBY KEITH: ’How was I supposed to know,She was slowly letting go,If I was putting her through hell,Hell, I couldn’t tell,She could’ve given me a sign,And opened up my eyes,How was I supposed to see,She never cried in front of me’- maybe this is where your muse was closed off in a relationship with rosalie and they were on and off for awhile before she finally has enough of it and let them go.

(0/1)HELL OF A MAN BY ELLA LANGLEY:That somethin’ about me can’t stick around,He’s all the way in, and I’m on the way out,Am I just a runner runnin’ from another?“- being closed off makes it harder for Rosalie to trust someone else, so this could be someone who is actually a really good person and tries hard to show her that trusting can be an okay thing.

(0/1)INSIDE YOUR HEAD BY WARREN ZEIDERS-I wanna know what’s goin’ on inside your head,Are you thinkin’ about him when your clothes are on my floor?”- rosalie had a bit of a rough past and made some decisions she isnt proud of, but this could be someone that rosalie cheated on a partner with in the past or they cheated on theirs or both, this could be someone who is her kryptonite and she falls into the same pattern whenever they are around.

OTHER PLOTS BASED ON PLOTS:

(0/1)**MARRY ME under the stars- Rosie moved to LA when she was 21 and was sort of just surviving trying to find her identity and escape her past, this could be a muse who she met and things moved quickly, to one night they just decided to get married at a small chapel somewhere and then things ended and either they signed divorce papers or have just been seperated for years we can brainstorm things for this~

(0/3)Best friends to enemies- This could be someone whom rosie trusted with all of her heart, but they lost her trust and she turned cold and maybe both did things that they didnt find themselves proud of.

(0/2)ENEMIES TO LOVERS-this could be someone that Rosalie literally despises and they also despise her but the chemistry is insane and the sex is better, but maybe they can work out their differences .

(0/1)**BABY DADDY PLOT: This could potentially be a one night stand type of plot, or added to any of the above plots, even the husband plot they could have a night of reconciliation, again open to brain storming this!

(0/?)Colleagues- this could be someone that she coordinates her photography with and can be anyone!!

ESCAPE THE PAST: Rosie grew up with a dad who worked to much and a mom who was in and out of Mental Health hospitals (TW mental health) and a grandma who raised her alot of the time, but they didnt have alot of money so when she was18 she started as an escort going on dates with men for money, to help her dad with the bills. she doesnt tell people this and maybe this is someone who actually knows the truth about her life before she got it together.

Exes

[hadaad]

░ BASICS .

NAME. ░ Zafar David Younis NICKNAME / ALIAS. ░ Zaf AGE. ░ 28 CURRENT RESIDENCE. ░ London, England SPECIES. ░ Human GENDER. ░ Male PRONOUNS. ░ He/Him ORIENTATION. ░ Demisexual ETHNICITY. ░ Asian PROFESSION. ░ junior case officer for mi5 / former junior officer/researchist for mi6's north african desk EDUCATION. ░ graduated from manchester university with a BA in geography and a masters in international relations. ALIGNMENT. ░ Lawful Good ZODIAC SIGN. ░ aquarius  SPOKEN LANGUAGES. ░ Fluent in English and Urdu. PARENTS. ░ Mahmed and Sarah (nee wilson) Younis SIBLINGS. ░ The middle child out of seven, he has 4 sisters and 2 brothers. His sisters are Fatima (age 32), Clare (age 25), Lucy (age 22), and Layla (age 19). His brothers are Robert (age 35) and Yasser (age 30).  SIGNIFICANT OTHER. ░ Adam Carter. CHILDREN. ░ Of his own? None. But he is a fantastic uncle zaf when it comes to Wes. PETS. ░  none but he has a huge soft spot for dogs.

░ PHYSICAL .

FACE CLAIM. ░ Raza Jaffrey HAIR COLOR. ░ Black EYE COLOR. ░ Dark brown HEIGHT. ░ 6′0″ MEDICAL CONDITIONS. ░ None.

░ PERSONALITY / OTHER .

HOBBIES. ░ Cars (especially the fast ones), tabletop games, graphic design/photoshop, photography    POSITIVE TRAITS. ░ Clever, loyal, compassionate, optimistic, funny, charismatic, selfless NEGATIVE TRAITS. ░ stubborn, brash, too trusting, cocky, occasionally prickly, thinks cats are awful LIKES. ░   Adam. video games. horror movies. pizza. his car. work DISLIKES. ░ bullies. being stereotyped. people who are close minded. ants. toes. not being taken seriously. religious idealism FEARS. ░  dying alone, dark enclosed spaces, weaponized ignorance. FAVORITE MOVIE. ░ Prometheus  FAVORITE TV SHOW. ░ Top Gear SMELLS LIKE. ░ sea air and sandalwood. he has a vaguely lemonesque smell WHAT’S IN THEIR BAG. ░ its a rucksack. theres a gun, a knife, cords for technology .. anything he might need on the job. WHAT DO THEY DO TO UNWIND. ░ play videogames.

░ DETAILED BIOGRAPHY .

Zaf was born in Croyden on February 2nd to Mahmed and Sarah Younis.

tbc bc i'm so fucking lazy lmao

[writersmilex]

My dumb ass didn't read the guidelines, I requested the cute daughter headcanons so can you turn it genderless? Like cute teenager child? Love your writing <3

Slipknot and Teenage children. Sure thing, i was gonna make it genderless anyway. Sorry for taking so long, it was kind of challenging. thanks, i really love it that you love my work. Enjoy~

___________________________________________

0# Sid Wilson :

- A 'cool dad'

- You watched a lot of transformers when you where little.

- As you're going through puberty, you get a little snappy at times.

- which he understands why, but there i really no need to yell at your dad.

- You introduce a new phase you have, he will be like "cool." And move on.

- you inherited the energy of him. ADHD and bouncing around, having a hard time focusing on one thing.

- luckily you got some therapy and behavior counseling. Medication had more negative than positive results so that was scrapped.

- He's your best friend.

- his fans also love you, but you never really got in touch with that paparazzi, lucky you.

- And even now that you're older, Sid still doesn't allow you to touch his DJ gear. ~~~~

1# Joey Jordison :

- A 'caring dad'

- "Please just watch yourself, okay?" He says, every time you leave to go out with friends.

- do as he says and come home on time, he gets paranoid easily when it comes to you.

- He teaches you to go your own way and not follow the herd like a lamb. But if you want to be a trend-follower he's fine with that.

- He will support you in any path you decide to take. Want to be a lawyer? Go ahead! Want to be a garbage cleaner? he will root for you!

- You inherited his artistic talents.

- He found out that you're in a little garage band, he was over the moon when he heard that.

- He is your biggest fan. And hopes to see you thrive in music like him.

- Teachers always seem surprised when they figure out who your dad is.

- "Just put that Talent you have to good use." He says.

- You have gotten taller than him... ~~~~

1.2# Jay Weinberg :

- A 'understanding dad'

- He understands that you're growing and discovering yourself. And he gives you that freedom to do so.

- one of his enforced rules is to just come home on time. And don't skip school.

- You inherited his gentleness.

- In your group of friends you're the 'parent friend'

- Actually doesn't try to embarrass you in front of your friends. You're grateful for that.

- he can tell when you're being a moody teenager, all he has to do to calm you down is just to say "come and sit down with me."

- He was really supportive when you went through your first break-up. You sat there crying on your bed, he sat next to you embracing you and teaching you some life lessons like a good father he is.

- Seeing how that break up hurt you so much, he's a bit weary of the next date you bring home. He just doesn't want you to get hurt again.

- He's is very proud of you, and loves how much you have grown. ~~~~

2# Paul Gray :

- A 'good' dad

- You are his pride and joy. He will do many things to make you have a good life.

- At this age, he still pinches your cheeks.

- You inherited his kindness.

- He taught you a little bit of bass. A quality way to spend  time together.

- He understands that as a teenager, your negative emotions develop. But there is really no need to yell at him like that. Really unnecessary...

- You're the best sibling to your younger sister; October.

- The two of you are the best of friends. Paul is so proud of his kids.

- When you're playing with your sister, Paul loves to just watch over the two of you. This look of undying love in his eye.

- Parenting is a cycle, just like him, you turned out great! ~~~~

2.2# Alessandro Venturella :

- A 'little rough' dad

- he ruffles your hair a little too hard.

- He has always been a little to rough with you. Like 'throwing you in the air to cheer you up' type of deal.

- He has a hard time letting you go and explore the world on your own. But he knows it has to be done.

- If you pick up the bass, he will make you his protege and teach you everything he knows.

- You got a little bit of a British accent going on. Only a certain type of words and terms you learned from your dad and things you picked up on.

- However, you do swear like a true Brit!

- He tells you off for swearing so much. But he is secretly proud.

- to this day, he still slaps you on the back a little to hard.

- But made you a touch cookie, so his little rough handling payed off.  ~~~~

3# Chris Fehn :

- A 'Embarrassing' dad

- In a very typical sense, he like to embarrass you just for that reaction he loves.

- When he picks you up from school, he likes to loudly announce that you're almost late for the sport or hobby you practice.

- He loves it when you go golfing with him. He likes to teach you techniques and overall spend quality time with you.

- You inherited his humor.

- He has a hard time dealing with your emotional tantrums. He hates yelling at you, so he just leaves you alone with your feelings.

- But is you come to him for support, he'll be there for you of course. "dad is here..."

- He's almost like a stereotypical dad, slippers and all.

- You and your siblings live a good life really.

- If you wish to go to college, he will have a really hard time letting you go out and make something of yourself. You're his baby, please stay :(... No, your life, your choice. ~~~~

3.2# Tortilla man :

- A 'goofy' dad

- So you developed a crazy sense of humor because of him.

- At this age you go out with friends and do crazy stunts for kicks. He can't be more proud.

- In your friend group at school, you're known as 'tortilla child' You take pride in that. Some kids tried to pick on you with that nickname, but it didn't work.

- You like to climb things, ever since you were little. You're dad had to pull you out of the Christmas tree one time when you where little.

- Being the emotional teenager you are. Your first reaction to pressure is screaming.

- Your dad got you checked out for it. Maybe you're autistic?

- But as you got older you mentally developed and got better actually.

- Tortilla gives you so many hugs.

- He is proud of his little tortilla spawn.

~~~~

4# Jim Root :

- A 'laid back' dad

- Personality wise, you're just like him. People meet you and say 'yes, like father like daughter'

-  You inherited the 'y'know' tic. When people hear you say it, they can't stop smiling at you.

- When your were a toddler, Jim would put you on his lap while he also plays guitar. It seemed to comfort you back then.

- Now you side next to him and do something else while listening to his playing. It still calms you today!

- He had the perfect angle to ruffle your hair.

- You're his child and he wants to protect you. You have to remind him that you're 17 and need to be let go and explore on your own.

- oh you have also gotten his height. Top tier gene pool baby!

- though, you reach his neck, which is still very tall for someone your age.

- If you do plan to learn guitar like your dad, he will have a instant 'proud dad' moment and melt to the floor. ~~~~

5# Craig Jones :

- A 'strict' dad

- He just has to look at you a certain way and you know you fucked up.

- You're a good and smart kid.

- And your dad loves you so much, he can't find the words to express it.

- you inherited his silence and dark humor.

- you have joked about becoming a serial killer more than once...

- Despite what people think, Craig is very good at teaching you life lessons.

- He likes to teach you about software and ambiance soundtracks.

- You have become that quiet voice of reason in your group of friends.

- Some people are straight up scared of you.  ~~~~

6# Shawn Crahan : - A 'do whatever, just some home at eight' dad

- also that kind of dad to embarrass you in front of your friend, but in an endearing way.

- He is the kind of dad to judge every date you bring home harshly.

- He does this with your siblings also.

- He would be that father to lift you up so you can see the footage of a store camera up close.

- He likes to scare you with his masks, it works every time.

- But you got back at him a few times. What they claim are true, being inside one of those masks is like a hell.

- Shawn likes to watch you play those video-games. The technology has gone so far.

- You have become a bit weird also, with a high tolerance for pain. At school you're that weird kid that puts paperclips through their skin just to freak everyone out.

- Shawn is proud of his little monsters.  ~~~~

7# Mick Thomson :

- A 'struggling' dad

- He loves you, of course but the way you act is hard to deal with for him.

- When you were having an typical outburst and you yelled how you 'hate him and he doesn't understand you' that was kinda painful you know?

- Stacy would be like "don't take it personally, they're going through puberty"

- A little later you come back downstairs and apologize to him for snapping like that.

- You're his little sunshine, he would burn down a hospital for you.

- He let's you watch horror movies at a young age. Maybe that's why you can't sleep very well.

- You have actually gotten more talkative than your father.

- "Excuse me sir, my dad asked for no pickles."

- Eventually he learned not to take your outbursts to seriously, just be supportive and talk back when needed. ~~~~

8# Corey Taylor :

- A 'doing his best' dad.

- It took him a few days to find out what year he lives in. You were only 6 years old yesterday!

- He reads books on how to deal with a teenager, don't blame him. Teenagers are tough and complicated.

- He wants you to have the best childhood, be a good father unlike his own who was absent while he was growing up.

- He has been joking around with you so much. He rides your tricycle sometimes while playing outside.

- You and your brother Griffin are weird. You like to prank your dad with him.

- Which often ensues a full on prank war.

- Sometimes Corey feels unsure about his parenting methods. But you're there so assure him that he's doing great and tell a little joke to make him laugh.

- "You're fine, i'm still in one piece as you can see!"

- That one always makes him laugh.

- Being total geeks together is a given. He let's you read his old comics, just be careful okay?

- You're very proud of him, Corey is a good dad! :) ~~~~

___________________________________________

Thanks for reading~

[mighty-mations]

inspired by @lord-ozymandias (sorry for the ping lol)

DST CHARACTERS I COULD BEAT IN A FIGHT

10/10- i could kick their ass easily

0/10- they would absolutely demolish me

wilson 8/10- he is a frail nerd have you ever watched old high school movies i can throw this goose into a locker. he would fight back tho.

willow 0/10 you think i'm going to fight a deranged arsonist???

wolfgang 5/10 i am small. i will scare the giant man. he could definitely turn me into a pancake though

wendy 3/10 i could beat the living one. she's just a child but the ghost would send me to the aether

WX-78 7/10 they'd hurt my feelings but i can simply spit in this walking tin can and they'd explode

wickerbottom 0/10 i would never harm an old lady......... depends...

woodie 1/10 DUDE ABSOLUTELY NOT if i did tho i can just conjure the might of a tree guard

wigfrid 0/10 she would make quick work of me

maxwell 5/10 depends if he's satan or not if he's not then i can feed him a sour patch kid and he'd proceed to drop dead on the spot

webber 2/10 his spider lackeys would eat me alive

winona 3/10 would beat me up 1920s boxing style

wormwood 0/10 i can just set him on fire but i never would he'd say sorry then i'd immediately feel bad

wurt 7/10 sushi

warly 2/10 he can just feed me pork and i'd drop dead immediately (i'm allergic to pork)

wortox 0/10 dude he's satan no way

wanda 0/10 have you ever watched the finale to jojos bizarre adventure part 3? she'd za warudo my ass

wes infinite/10 do i have to explain?

walter 8/10 his dog would maul me but i can just unleash the night of bees on this CHILD

woodlegs 10/10 i can just stand on top of a flight of stairs

wagstaff 5/10 he's old i can kick his arthritis shins inward but then again he can probably conjure up some mecha iron giant shit and that'd turn me into paste

wilbur 0/10 MONKEY AAAAA

wilba 1/10 she could punch my ribs inwards making me look like a bear trap

walani 4/10 she can beat me up with a bitten surfboard

wheeler 0/10 doesn't she own a gun or something

if i missed any oh well

[music-daily]

HALLOWEEN 2020 🎃 🧟 👻 🧡 🕷 🍬 🏚

Saweetie as Destiny’s Child Ciara as Cardi B Ciara as Nicki Minaj Lil Nas X as Nicki Minaj Saweetie as RuPaul Flo Milli as Left Eye Marsai Martin as Rihanna Ciara and Russell Wilson as Janet Jackson and Busta Rhymes Ryan Destiny as Ms. Lauryn Hill Ciara as Megan Thee Stallion

[writerdream22]

Attack On Titan

You’re Levi Ackerman’s wife

“You own my heart” with young!Levi Ackerman 

F.r.i.e.n.d.s.

“Is the cat in a onesie?” and “Uh,no?” with Chandler Bing

“Okay, where are all my jumpers?” and “Oh, you���ve started stealing my socks now?” with Chandler Bing

“Can we get some food?” with Joey Tribbiani for @moonlit-imagines writing contest

“I had a thought” “Oh no” and “I swear it’s a good one this time!” with Chandler Bing, Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay

“Did you just... agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I would take -” “Nope! You said it! No take-backs” with Chandler Bing

Harry Potter

Imagine being hired by George to work at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes

You’re Harry Potter’s best friend turned girlfriend

“At the end of the day, it is what it is” with Harry Potter and sister!reader

“Detention?Again” and “That was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done” with George Weasley

“Are you going to eat that?” and “Apparently there’s a bet going around” with Fred Weasley for @nebulablakemurphy‘s 500 followers celebration

Lucifer

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole” and “Is that blood?”“....No?” with Lucifer Morningstar

“Oh, you’re jealous!” with Lucifer Morningstar

Imagine finding a puppy at a crime scene, and it taking a liking to your partner

LOTR

Imagine fighting at the battle of Helm’s Deep

MCU

Imagine being Steve Roger’s teenage daughter, and meeting Bucky for the first time

Imagine being Deadpool’s teenage daughter

You’re Wade Wilson’s daughter, and the latest Avengers recruit (Headcanon)

“You interrupt my reading once more, and this book will become a lethal weapon” with Loki Laufeyson

“You owe me a kiss” with Steve Rogers

“You’re a very rare person to come across, I think-” with Steve Rogers

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Noo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?” and “Are we on a date right now?” with Peter Parker

My Hero Academia

“Let’s go for a walk” and “It’s 2 am!” with Aizawa Shouta

Peaky Blinders

Imagine young Thomas Shelby proposing to you, and your family being against the marriage

“So science proves that a human being’s pupils enlarge when they see something they’re attracted to. So that’s what it means when you do it while looking at me” with Thomas Shelby

Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse with Thomas Shelby

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?” with Michael Gray

Imagine being the leader of a rival gang and Thomas Shelby falling in love with you

“He can be a little dumb sometimes” and “I’m sitting right here!” with Thomas Shelby

“You said to be honest stop hitting me!” with John Shelby

Imagine being John’s wife and a writer

“You’re not very intimidating” with Thomas Shelby

“I love you” and “A horrible decision, really” with Thomas Shelby

“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry. I don’t have my glasses on” with Thomas Shelby

“Dance with me” with young!Thomas Shelby

“Let’s go for a walk” and “It’s 2 am!” with  Thomas Shelby and daughter!reader

“You punched him in the face” and “Look, he deserved it” with Thomas Shelby and daughter!reader

“Okay, where are all my jumpers?” and “Oh, you’ve started stealing my socks now?” with Thomas, John and Arthur Shelby

“I think I just ripped my pants” and “I’m too sober for this” “You don’t even drink” “Maybe I should start” with Alfie Solomons

You’re John Shelby’s significant other and you come from another country (headcanon) 

Imagine being the true reason why Thomas Shelby’s heart is broken: part 1 part 2 part 3 finale

You’re Thomas Shelby’s twin sister (headcanon): part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 finale

Jujutsu Kaisen

“There’s no such thing as a stupid question” “What’s in mango salsa?” and “I stand corrected” with Satoru Gojo

Riordanverse

Imagine being a child of Hades and trying to find your place at Camp Halfblood

You’re Percy Jackson’s twin sister and you have hurricane powers (headcanon)

Imagine being a child of Persephone and arriving at Camp Halfblood

“Well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead” and “That was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done” with Percy Jackson

“If being clumsy was a currency, I’d be a bloody billionaire” with Percy Jackson, Grover Underwood and Annabeth Chase

You’ve lived at Camp Halfblood for years but you still don’t know who your godly parent is part 1 part 2

Stranger Things

Imagine that you’re cuddling with your best friend Will 

You have a sleepover with your best friend Jonathan (Headcanon)

You’re Eddie Munson’s best friend (Headcanon)

You’re Steve Harrington’s sister (Headcanon)

“I love this song!” and “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified” with Steve Harrington

“Oh, hi.” “Hi!” “Hi.” “You already said that” “Right” with Steve Harrington

“Control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about” with Billy Hargrove

“A date? I’m sorry, but I have to go home and laugh at that idea” with Billy Hargrove

Sherlock (BBC)

You live at 221b, Baker Street, with the boys and Mrs.Hudson (Headcanon)

“You’re insane” “You love me” and “Not right now, I don’t” with Sherlock Holmes

“I hate you” and “Why? I’m lovely” with Sherlock Holmes

“Did you sleep last night? At all?” and “God no, what do you take me for?” with John Watson

The Breakfast Club

Imagine being a cheerleader and meeting Brian Johnson in detention

The Hobbit

“Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture” with Thranduil Oropherion

The Umbrella Academy 

The Shelbys meet the Hargreeves (One-shot)

“Can you shut up for once in your life?” with Klaus Hargreeves

“Why the hell is there glitter everywhere?” and “Yeah, well, if you weren’t so drunk maybe I would” with Klaus Hargreeves

“Why is the tree on fire?” and “This is breaking my heart” with Klaus Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves proposes to you (Headcanon)

“You could have gotten yourself killed” and “But... I didn’t?” with Diego Hargreeves

The Sandman (Netflix)

“You humans are most amusing” with Dream of the Endless

“My kingdom is in danger. I’ve come to ask for your aid” with Dream of the Endless

You’re Morpheus’ consort (Headcanon)

“I’m an insomniac. This is just normal” with Dream of the Endless

The Witcher (Netflix)

You have a daughter with Jaskier and the little girl has a strong bond with her father (One-shot)

“I don’t know why, but there’s some days where you feel like more than a best friend” with Jaskier

“Please don’t cry” and “I’m here for you” with Jaskier

Imagine being Triss Merigold’s sister, and her finding out about your crush on Jaskier and setting you two up on a date

No Time To Die by Billie Eilish with Geralt of Rivia

Titans

Imagine patching Dick Grayson up after a fight

Vikings

You’re Ragnar Lothbrok’s younger sister (headcanon)

“Maybe not” and “Maybe in another world” with Ragnar Lothbrok

“The battleground is my kingdom. The Queen can keep her throne” with Ivar The Boneless

“Well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead” with Ivar The Boneless

You have twins, but you get sick after birth and Ivar takes care of you (gif imagine)

The Ragnarssons discover that you have similar powers to those of the scarlet witch (Headcanon)

You’re a princess, praised by people because of your rumored kinship with the gods, and Ivar takes a liking to you when he visits your kingdom with his brothers (gif imagine)

[tempestaurora]

FANDOMS: Marvel, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The 100, Harry Potter, The Raven Cycle, Community, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Umbrella Academy

NOTES:

i tagged every tumblr i could reasonably find. if you have more than one fic on this list, i have tagged you more than once. some people may be tagged like five times. i’m not sorry.

where relevant, fandoms have been split into general (platonic) centric fics, and romantic/slash fics. this is just because it’s easier than splitting it up into specific relationships.

at the end of every fic title/author line is a list of core relationships; fics are split between gen and romance depending on what relationship is considered centric. otherwise, fics are in no particular order. All fics are completed unless otherwise specified.

i added a read more because there’s over 100 fics listed here.

anyway, enjoy, thanks for the 3k followers

M A R V E L

gen centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

K.I.D. by blondsak @blondsak | Tony&Peter

summary: “Hi K.I.D. Glad you’re awake. Do you know your primary objective?”

“To always look for ways to remind Mister Stark - that’s you! - that Kindness Isn’t Dead.”

“That’s right, K.I.D. Good job.” 

forty miles by peter_stank @peter-stank

summary:  the one where Morgan is sick and Tony is in way over his head, so he calls his spiderson for a little bit of help. Tony&Peter

from now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr |  Tony&Peter

summary: Peter’s sure that Tony and Pepper’s wedding will change everything. 

Machine Wash Hot; Tumble Dry Low by alice_in_ink | Tony&Peter

summary: Do you ever fall into sewers and then need your billionaire mentor to wash your super-suit? Peter Parker does too. 

Captain That by maddo | Tony&Peter

summary: Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.

Here's to all the new beginnings by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: Peter gets a job. Tony is less than pleased. 

to know, to protecc, and to fuck with by peterstank and floweryfran @peter-stank @floweryfran | Tony&Peter, Natasha&Peter, Sam/May

summary: peter parker convinces the responsible adults in his life to join him on the world’s stupidest stake-out. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

i used to have nothing and then by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Clint&Natasha

summary: “Clint,” Natasha said. “You’ve got to let me go.”

“Clint,” she said, and he let her go. 

the hearth by sagemb |  Tony&Peter

summary: What to Do When Your Wife Is Out of the Country: A Guide by Tony Stark

1) Gain partial custody of a child 2) Sleep on the couch 3) Have the child gain partial custody of you.

Love in Ones and Zeroes by forensicleaf @forensicleaf | Tony&Peter

summary: a boy, a bot, and a bond through the years. Tony&DUM-E

call you home SERIES by Madelinedear | May&Tony, Tony&Peter

summary: sometimes family is who you're born with. and sometimes family is a spider boy, a rich not-dad, and a kickass aunt. (or; tony, may, and peter find a place in each other's lives) 

Not-Uncle Tony by Jen27ny @jen27ny | Tony&Peter, Happy&Peter

summary: Happy is Peter's biological father, and Tony is there for the entire ride. 

Between how it is and how it should be by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers | Peter&Bucky, Tony&Peter, Steve&Bucky

summary: ''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''

Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''

The Unfortune Teller by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Tony&Peter

summary: A woman in a carnival booth predicts Peter's death. 

all the things yet to come (are the things that have passed) by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Peter&Morgan, Tony&Peter

summary: The first time Peter sees Morgan is at the funeral. 

tony and peggy’s big day out! by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Peggy

summary: “What’s happened this time?”

“Just a bombing,” says Peggy.

“At three in the afternoon?” says Jarvis. “Frankly, how rude.”

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst @ambivalentmarvel | Flash&Peter, Tony&Peter

summary: Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all. 

aiding and abetting: a peter parker saga by floweryfran and peterstank @floweryfran @peter-stank | Peter&Avengers

summary: 5 times peter parker runs into the rogues separately + the 1 time they work together as a team. 

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man (and friends) by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Harley&Peter, Harley&Tony

summary: in an attempt to help Harley beef up his college apps, Tony offers Harley a remote Stark Industries internship to help Spider-Man. It easily becomes his worst nightmare. 

Allston Christmas by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter, Tony&Peter&Rhodey

summary: “You guys didn’t have to do this,” Peter says from where he sits squeezed into the middle seat of the U-Haul, sweat running down his back. The air-conditioning in the truck they’ve rented is broken, and even with the windows rolled down it’s hellishly hot inside.

“We wanted to,” Tony replies as he blasts the horn at a minivan with a “Harvard Mom” bumper sticker that is attempting to cut into his lane.

so happy together by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Ben

summary: ben parker calling tony stark a twink for 13k words

LONG (20K+)

An Unofficial Introduction to the Avengers SERIES by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so @isnt-it-pretty-to-think-so-tr | Tony&Peter

summary: The Avengers meet Spiderman via the online world, and then meet Peter Parker in Stark's living room. It takes them longer than it should to put two-and-two together. 

what is and will be (is you and me) by momentofmemory @momentofmemory | May&Peter

summary: 5 times May was there for Peter, +1 time he was there for her. 

dear mr. fantasy by iron_spider @iron--spider | Tony&Peter

summary: He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room.

“Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.

timshel SERIES by justanotherblond @blondieewritess | Bucky&Peter, Steve/Bucky

summary: The soldier doesn’t remember his son’s birth or how he came to be. He doesn’t remember bedding a woman and watching her belly swell, but they said the boy was his. He does know that he will protect and teach the boy within the confines of their cell walls. Even when the handlers berate him. Even when the good guys take him away. 

odd couple buddies SERIES by bysine | Peter&Bucky, Sam&Thor, Tony&Peter

summary: "You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. A pipe. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."

i understand (i’m a liability) by floweryfran @floweryfran | Harley&Tony, Harley&Peter

summary: “I… am not being challenged in the right ways here,” Harley says slowly, carefully.

“Then move here,” Tony says, and Harley’s heart drops straight into his feet. 

Roundabout by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: In which Peter attempts to survive long enough to graduate, Tony moonlights as a semi-professional party planner, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan. 

Uncle Steve's Fix-it Freelance Gig (and friends) SERIES by whowhotellsyourstory | Steve&Morgan, Tony&Steve, Bucky&Peter

summary: "You ever need help, and I'm not there-""Why wouldn't you be there?""You call Uncle Steve."

notes: probably my favourite post endgame fix it fic/series in existence

Dumpster Fires Verse SERIES by deniigiq @deniigi | Peter&Wade&Matt

summary: A collection of Team Red stories because they are all hot messes. Except Peter. Two-Thirds of them are hot messes.

Impression, Sunrise by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter&Morgan

summary: In Peter Parker's eyes, Morgan Stark is a lot of things: a terrible pancake chef, a top notch negotiator, the world's cutest six-year old. But above all, she is his family. He hopes he's enough. 

The Room Where It Happens by notapartytrick @notaparty-trick | Tony&Peter

summary: At 7:36 pm on the 12th of May 2016, Tony Stark is put in the Room.

A twelve-by-twelve-foot shed, soundproofed, double locked. It becomes his home. It has to be, because there’s nowhere else.

At 4:22 pm on the 15th of June 2017, Peter Parker is put in the Room.

They make a living under duress, fearing at every moment the entry of their captor. Confinement halts their lives in their tracks, changes them both for good: breaks them and brings them together simultaneously.

“If someone has everything they need, but nobody, do they have everything? Or nothing?”

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

written in the star(war)s by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter/Michelle

summary: Michelle looks at the nurse one more time, and despite the evidence, asks, “Are you sure it’s twins?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” the nurse points them out again. “One boy, and one girl. Due...May 4th.”

It only takes Michelle 2.3 seconds to realize the horror of that sentence. 

Steve Rogers is (Not) A Good Influence by stevergrsno @stevergrsno |  Steve/Bucky, Steve&Peter

summary: Steve Rogers' American Tour Of Waiting For His Brainwashed Boyfriend To Come Back And Blowing Up Hydra is interrupted when Tony Stark dumps Peter Parker into his lap.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Steve/Tony, Steve/Tony/Bucky

summary: It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again. 

Soft Spot for the Hell Raisin' Boy by ifeelbetter @ifeelbetterer | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier takes an interest in Sam Wilson. Bucky Barnes wants to tell him how to be Steve Rogers's best friend.

Cat’s Cradle by Traincat @traincat | Peter/Felicia

summary: The test was positive.

Felicia tilted it idly this way and that, sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the cupboard. The floors and the counter tops were marble, and the shower door was glass. Every one of Felicia’s moves seemed to echo in the large room, even though she knew that she was making no sound.

The test was positive. She didn’t bother to check the box to make sure she’d gotten the little symbols right. She’d known before she took it.

“Well,” she breathed out, tilting her head back to inspect the ceiling. “Damn, Spider.”

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

cross this river to the other side by defcontwo | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base. 

Tony Stark Googled The Thing by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Tony/Pepper, Tony&Peter

summary: When Morgan is six months old, Pepper goes back to work and Tony takes over as stay-at-home dad. Discovering the mommyblogosphere is the inevitable next step.

Winter Soldier Program by NocturneByChopin | Steve/Bucky

summary: Here’s the thing: he’s got a bit of a secret. It involves a boy that went and became famous when Steve wasn’t looking. 

i was found and now i don't roam these streets by hipsterchrist | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky relearns himself and how to be on a team, the rest of the Avengers try to get answers, and everyone watches too much Criminal Minds. 

Between a Rock and a Hard Place by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Michelle/Peter, Michelle&Happy, Tony&Peter

summary: Ever since her mother died a few years back, Michelle's relationship with her father became strained in their grief. One night, after she's forced to show up at Peter's covered in bruises and in need of stitches, she remembers that even the most unsuspecting dormant volcanoes can erupt.

Brooklyn by togina @toli-a | Steve/Bucky

summary: "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk | Steve/Bucky

summary: Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

Project: Get Bucky Barnes a Dog by ruxian | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky Barnes does not have a dog. Bucky Barnes does not want a dog. Sam thinks that should change. Bucky does not agree. 

On My Radar by sprinkle_of_cinnamon | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier first noticed it when he was on the helicarrier.

The blonde’s shoulders were broad, incredibly broad.

They stretched the blue uniform in a wide span, drawing down to a narrow waist. It was a distinctly triangular silhouette. It was entirely improbable. And somehow it was strangely familiar.

The Winter Soldier raised his gun and fired. He didn’t have time for distractions, or Steve Rogers’ shoulders. 

LONG (20k+)

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter @praximeter | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.” 

notes: may i say a massive fucking HOLY SHIT??????????? incredible. iconic. life-changing.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices and radialarch | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Associated Press @AP Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE 

Bucky Barnes: Former Disney Channel Star SERIES by mambo @whtaft | Steve/Bucky

summary: "The question the entertainment world is asking themselves today is... Who is Steve? Hollywood superstar Bucky Barnes was spotted at a wrap-party last night, serenading someone named Steve onstage.” 

Not Easy Conquered SERIES by dropdeaddream and WhatAre Fears | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.

In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.

In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

notes: if you’ve read stucky, you’ve read this series. i know this. just like i know that its the most GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL series ever written. no topping it. it’s number 1.

Strays by snarklyboojum @snarklyboojum | Steve/Bucky

summary: After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America. 

hold me until we crumble by queenklu @queenklu | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

notes: one of my favourite standalone fics i’ve ever read

half awake in a fake empire SERIES by idrilka | Steve/Bucky

summary: In the aftermath of Steve's return to the world of the living and the battle of New York, the academia and the Internet react.

by the river potomac i sat down and wept by peterstank @peter-stank | Steve/Bucky

summary: bucky barnes atones.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell SERIES by AnnaFugazzi | Steve/Bucky

summary: Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that. 

Out of the Dead Land by orphaned account | Steve/Bucky

summary: Someone is building machines that look and act like people.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.

V O L T R O N:  L E G E N D A R Y  D E F E N D E R

romance centric fics

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

called out your name (but it was too late) by arahir @arahir | James/Keith, Shiro/Keith

summary:  An old classmate watches Keith fall in love with someone else. 

so much for the after party by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: Shiro gets his groove back.

i breathe disaster by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: After the wedding, Keith leaves Earth in search of something he can keep. 

notes: what doES THIS M E AN?!!!??!!?!?! i cried over this ending. i cr i e d. actual real tears. it was so upsetting somehow. and i am so confused. and i went and found the author’s imagined ending in the comments to help understand the open one and it just made me SADDER. i think this is one of those fics that tries to teach me to read the tags and back away at the word “angst”. anyway, excellent, everything i’ve read from this author was incredible

LONG (20K+)

Alien Sex Fiend by Glossolalia | Shiro/Keith | WIP

summary: It started at a drive-in in the 1980s. Unfortunately, this is a love story; a love story about the frontman of Quantum Queef, a punk band, and a boy who rides a red motorcycle. Also, they fight aliens. 

notes: i’m OBSESSED with this fic. i have read it many times. shiro as a punk singer of a band called Quantum Queef????????? and the fact that it’s the only fic on this account???? absolute POWER MOVE.

T H E  1 0 0

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

golden gunned girls by littlearrows | Bellamy/Clarke

summary:  They’re not good girls. They have no reason to be. 

notes: i think about this fic approximately twice a week despite reading it five years ago. there’s a song called gold gun girls by metric that makes me absolutely feral and would be the dream theme song for the intro sequence of the girl gang tv show of my dreams

and then my soul saw you by synchronicities | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Lexa tells Clarke that love within the cluster is the worst kind of narcissism. Bellamy begs to differ. Sense8 AU.

givers prove unkind by emullz | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: a modern au in which bellamy is in a band, he writes an album about clarke, and she is his ophelia. also, marriage.

she sounds like sex on the radio by lecornergirl | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Wait, hold on,” Clarke says. “Are you suggesting I—in the booth?” But her tone is a lot sterner than she feels. Against her better judgement, she’s into it. 

notes: idk what to tell you. i have only bookmarked like three smut fics in my life. it deserves it ok.

the kids aren’t alright by opensummer | Multiple Relationships

summary: The Pacific Rim fusion seven ways. 

notes: probably???? my favourite? pacific rim au? i’ve ever read??? does so much with so little

Haven’t You Heard? The World is Coming To An End by Jenye @likcoln-blog | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: So where would you rather die? Here or in Jaeger? Pacific Rim AU. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

three points (where two lines meet) SERIES by PinkCanary | Bellamy/Clarke/Raven

summary: Clarke wears the two names on her skin like a badge of honour. 

Icarus Lives by karusarchive @cluelesskaru | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: No one could ever have predicted the kaiju were coming.  Clarke Griffin was in need of a new Co-Pilot. Bellamy Blake had just graduated. You can guess how that goes.

notes: if anyone knows me at all, they know i’m a MASSIVE pacific rim fan. like, own all the books and graphic novels and have multiple pacrim t-shirts kind of fan. THIS FIC was my first experience with that franchise. my first ever. i watched the movie BECAUSE of this fic.

Pony Regrets SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Octavia drags Bellamy to a My Little Pony tournament. Bellamy is deeply upset about the whole thing, but then the girl running the tournament is really cute.

The Internet Is Forever SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Apparently, the internet has been shipping Bellamy Blake (of Team Arkade) and Clarke Griffin (of Craven Cosplay). No one told Bellamy about it. 

Nothing Like Old Times by LayALioness @filmnoirsbian | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Clarke killed some guy and stuffed him in the trunk,” Jasper says delightedly. “Your cousin’s dark, dude.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy nods, trying to backtrack. Sometimes he wishes she was actually better at making things up. “She’s a…closeted Goth.” Terminator AU. 

the feel-good hit of the summer by disco_vendetta @errorofyourways | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake are sleeping together. (aka ROCK BAND AU) 

notes: i think about this fic an OBSCENE amount. it’s been five years since i first read it.

LONG (20K+)

Your Mess Is Mine by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: modern AU, Clarke grows up with Octavia, and Octavia's brother. 

notes: the fic that got me into fan fic in the first place. top tier. 42k.

Love Will Come Through by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: AU. Clarke winds up in an arranged marriage with Bellamy. 

Neeeeeeeeeerds by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke joins the Junior Classical League for two reasons: to appease her mother and to annoy Bellamy Blake.

Our Time Now SERIES by TazmainianDevil | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: The Ark may have been short on all resources vital to sustaining life but one thing they never ran out of was guns.On an Ark that has always been defined by violence, Jake Griffin manages to save his daughter's life and Clarke joins a gang to change the world.

Disney Channel You by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Bellamy only goes to the open casting for Clarke Griffin's new Disney Channel show because Octavia begs him. He never thought he'd actually get the stupid part. 

And You Understand Now Why They Lost Their Minds and Fought the Wars by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke doesn’t understand why they say that soulmates are one soul in two bodies. Her soul has five other bodies and she would give her life for any of them. Sense8 AU. 

notes: probably my favourite sense8 AU i’ve ever read?? and i have read Many

build this fire higher, higher toward the sky SERIES by adelicatepeach | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke's jaeger goes down on a Thursday. Pacific Rim AU. 

H A R R Y  P O T T E R

gen centric fic

LONG (20K+)

yer a wizard, dudley by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Dudley&A Lot of People

summary: Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I've come to deliver this,” she said, “because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort." 

notes: i have only ever cared about two harry potter fics in my life. this is one of them.

the family evans by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Petunia&A Lot of People

summary: What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in? 

notes: this is the other one

T H E  R A V E N  C Y C L E

gen centric fic

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

Helter Skelter by Anonymous | Ronan&Blue

summary: In hindsight, a road trip with your step-brother and his best friends in Gansey's dying Pig is not an ideal way to start summer break. Sargent-Lynch siblings AU.

meet hennessy by izzylizardborn @gaybluesargent | Hennessy&Jordan

summary: Hennessy had seen movies. She knew how this went. When it came to clones, there was always a good one and an evil one. She didn’t need to wonder which was which.

life is not a movie, maybe by coyotesuspect | Ronan&Blue

summary: Ronan gets kicked out of Aglionby and enrolls at Mountain View High for his senior year. The only problem is, no one remembers to tell Blue. 

Honeymoon by vexmybones | Ronan&Blue

summary: Blue and Ronan living together, no buffers, no bullshit, this is how they cope. 

the bugs and alphabet by Pi @rhea314 | Ronan&Blue

summary: In which Blue babysits Chainsaw, Ronan & Blue make angry art projects, and some conversations are almost had. 

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

Pretty Good, Right? by suddensingularity | Ronan/Blue

summary: Blue wants to have sex before her true love dies. Ronan helps out. Ronan/Blue

notes: yeah ok this is one of the three smut fics i’ve bookmarked its fun ok

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

It Had To Be You by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam

summary: Ronan hates basically everything about their business, or that's what he tells Blue, but the worst part is that he's constantly meeting cute guys and none of them are single. 

darling, don’t make such a drama by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam, Ronan&Henry, Ronan&Declan

summary: "Straight answers are boring," Cheng says, "and yes I do mean that for all values of straight. I do not need Ronan to share his tragic backstory, I would much rather deduce it on my own."

"Who says I have a tragic backstory?"

"With your fearsome glower and troubled good looks? If you did not have a tragic backstory it would be a waste."

 C O M M U N I T Y

romance centric fic

LONG (20k+)

Playing House by itsactuallycorrine @itsactuallycorrine | Jeff&Annie

summary: Six years ago, Jeff let Annie go. She never returned to Greendale, and he moved on. Now, he's a single dad to a one-year-old and he needs her help.

A V A T A R:  T H E  L A S T  A I R B E N D E R

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

call it dreaming by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Gaang

After the war, Toph has nightmares. The screeching of metal, Sokka and Suki's screams, the snap of Sokka's leg as it broke from their fall. It's usually his confession that they aren't going to make it that makes her wake up in a cold sweat. She's anxious all the time now, unable to find peaceful sleep.

The cure is apparently to try and hold all of her friends hands for all hours of the days and hope that they're cool with it. 

what’s in a name by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Sokka

summary: At her request, Sokka teaches Toph to write her name.

He learns a thing or two about the weight his own name holds in the process.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain @captainkirkk | Zuko&Gaang

summary: “I’m so proud of you, my nephew.” Uncle cups Zuko’s face in his lined hand. The gesture is so tender, his palm so warm, that Zuko has to take a fortifying breath against the sudden swell of emotion in his chest.

“I want to be a good leader, Uncle,” Zuko says. “I want to look after my people.”

“You will,” Uncle says. “You are, nephew.”

In a new era of peace, Zuko works to be a very different Fire Lord than his forefathers.

the scope of blindness series by littlelionlady @thelittlelionlady | Toph&Gaang

summary: There are just some things that Toph's feet can't see.

Her hands can though.

Or, Toph learns what her friends look like by tracing their faces. 

notes: geniunely how goddamn beautiful is this. like. i cried. this is so soft and so cute and it made me feel SO MANY things

All The Gentle Creatures by Haircrescendo @sword-and-stars | Iroh&Zuko

It’s said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Zuko may be loud and stubborn and sharp but all the woodland creatures love him. 

LONG (20K+)

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris | Zuko&Gaang

summary: Some people are born with soulmarks. Zuko has them, but his grandfather burned them off because they "make you weak."

Team Avatar has a few things to say about that. 

such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 @andromeda3116 | Katara&The Fire Nation, Katara/Zuko

Katara's ambition, so long set aside for the good of others, breaks free and sets fire to her soul. Or, Katara has a vision of her canon future, casts it aside, and becomes a world-changing politician instead. 

and love will be your teacher SERIES by Ford_Ye_Fiji @ford-ye-fiji | Iroh&Zuko

summary: "And you will know the pain of losing a firstborn son." Ozai loses Zuko. Iroh gains a son. And the future changes.

notes: excellent excellent excellent excellent makes me very happy indeed

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

on commitment by jdphoenix | Zuko/Katara

summary: “Just explain it to me again.”

“There is no way you can pass as my brother and we are way too conspicuous as two unrelated people, from different nations, traveling together. So we’re pretending to be married.”

we hold our hearts in silence by psychedelic_aya | Zuko/Katara

summary: Seventy years later, Korra tries to figure out Zuko and Katara. 

oracle bones by orphaned account | Zuko/Katara

summary: The foreign, pictorial characters that bracelet Zuko's left wrist have never been covered in any of his lessons. He cannot read them. And then he turns thirteen, and his father burns his wrist along with his face.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

late nights/early mornings SERIES by shmulia @shmuliawrites | Zuko/Katara

summary: Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara’s shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. 

the thing about dancing by anodymalion | Sokka/Zuko

summary: The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

LONG (20K+)

Fate Deferred by catie_writes_things @catie-does-things | Zuko/Katara | WIP

summary: Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. He awakens to a very different world. 

The Sparrowkeet SERIES by audreyii_fic | Zuko/Katara

summary: Ba Sing Se has fallen and Katara has been captured by the Fire Nation; a more adult take on the potential progression of S3. AU series of interconnected one-shots. 

notes: i would die for this series, particularly the last instalment. i enjoyed every single fic and it was just such a GOOD STORY.

T H E  U M B R E L L A  A C A D E M Y 

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

you from yesterday by questors (sieges) @softpunks | Five&Siblings

summary:  The difference between who his siblings once were versus who they are now. 

Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope | Five&Klaus

summary: Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off. He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself. 

Then There Was Two by AnneKatherine | Five&Vanya

summary: Reginald Hargeeves finally decides to allow Grace to name the Academy. Unfortunately, he's only willing to let her name the Academy, which Seven is unfortunately not a part of.

[or how Five gave away his name]

(he definitely didn't want one anyway) 

i tiresias (have foresuffered all) by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes | Five&Siblings, Five/Delores

summary: Five misses sharing his birthday, but Five has missed a lot of things.alternatively; number five, coffee, and the art of taking back. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

The Five Vetting Process by jaz_hop | Five&Siblings

summary: In which Five is incredibly invested in the love lives of his siblings, because they're obviously too stupid to choose anyone worthy enough to be their partner. Otherwise known as Five being stupidly over-protective, and incredibly invasive in the hopes of keeping his siblings safe and happy... even if he is being a stalker and a dick about it. 

LONG (20K+)

You and I Together Forever SERIES by Ace_of_Spades_400 @ace-of-spades-400 | Vanya&Siblings

summary: What if it hadn't only been Five, what if it hadn't been Five at all?

A series of stories about what would have happened if Vanya had chosen a different sibling.

Sometimes the choice isn't hers.

Timeliness 1-2.1 SERIES by dgalerab | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: As the world ends, Five takes his siblings back into their child bodies on the day he originally left. With the knowledge of how the world ends fresh in their minds, the Hargreeves siblings do what they can to leave clues for their past selves on how to grow up a little less fucked up before returning to the present.

A present where they all have different lives they can't remember, there's a fun new apocalypse on the way, and Reginald Hargreeves remembers the day where all his children suddenly and inexplicably lost their minds and all respect for him at once a little too well.

Rare Birds SERIES by Cryptix23 | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: An alternate 2019 brings with it new problems and new dangers.

The two sets of Hargreeves children mix like water on a greasefire. It's hard to tell which group is unhappier about the situation -- the Sparrows, trying to navigate the minefield of their new siblings' many traumas, or the Umbrellas, trying to carve their place back into a world that forgot them.

Plus the whole saving-the-world thing hanging over them all.

Whether they like it or not, they're going to have to learn to work together. 

Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale | Diego&Klaus

summary:  Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.