#Why the fuck doesn't this girl have a name

[trainnster]

A Message for our Dearest Friends ✨

[[ Before anything, I do give a TRIGGER WARNING for those who may not want to read about anymore of Nirmal's escapades, and also who may not want to look into discussions of z!on!sm, harrassment of children, and just general nasty ass behavior from Karen Supreme over here. If you do read though, I very much thank you! ]]

So y'know unfortunately I was not added to The List™. Really sad, might just piss and die from it all. HOWEVER, I care about this fandom and I'm always for being petty, so I guess I'll take the bait and send a nice little message to our dearest friend @gordontheengineswifenirmal and her little bestie boo @drackara for trying to fuck with MY friends!! 😁

FIRST OFF, I am not nor will I ever take shit from some bitch who named herself after that fugly ass grey cat from Garfield, so no I am not scared of you and actually I'm SO happy you chose a fandom I happen to be in to try and be a little prick to so I can go into some of the shit you've done!! Like omg thank you SO much for this opportunity, girl! 😊✨

SECOND, you are old enough to be the parent to about 60% of this fandom yet lack the simple maturity basics that even a 5 year old has, so like idk but maybe you should look into going back to school and doing something with your life, since it's obvious you're just rotting in your friend's basement and don't have any sort of diploma or certificate to your name teehee!! 😘

THIRD, going on with how grossly uneducated you are at your crusty dusty ass age, let me remind you that nobody, I mean NOBODY- Actually, here, lemme add the definition so you can get it:

NOBODY [pronoun] / ˈnoʊ.bɑː.di / : not anyone

(SOURCE: Cambridge Dictionary)

Yeah, so that? Yeah, nobody owes you shit over actual families who are going through one of the worst mass humanitarian disasters we've seen in modern history! There's this other thing called "independence", yeah, and THAT means that we ALLL get to choose where our money goes! Isn't that so great? Yeah so that means… People get to choose if they want to monetarily support you!!! 🥳 Isn't that just so lovely?

And y'know, maybe it's just me, but I dunno if people would want to use their independence over their money to send it to a random 42 year old over helping people escape literal genocide. Doesn't sound so great does it? Yeah, maybe it's kinda like people have hearts and understand that genocide is far worse than some random 42 year old who spews z!onist rhetoric, disrespects sex work, and demands monetary gain from literal kids who she not only calls slurs but also actively exposes to NSFW content on her little confessions blog!

Y'know… maybe THAAAT'S why people don't send you money! Yeahhh it's cuz you're a basement-dwelling prehistoric z!onist toad who actively threatens the safety of literal children in online spaces!! I got it figured out!! And y'know, I got you figured all out too, darlin', because I sure as hell know this ain't your first rodeo and this post sure as hell ain't mine!

And y'know I could just keep going on and on, but considering you're probably red in the face and sobbing like the infant-minded subhuman creature you are over lil ol me simply going over just one single little atrocity you've committed on this fandom, I think I'll spare you from holding you to the mirror for ALL that!

Anyways, I do hope this all finds you just SO well, and maybe you can understand just a teensy bit why people y'know… Don't like you! Yeah, so uh hope your holidays go great, hope the new year treats you better than how you've treated ANY of us, and I do hope that poor single braincell gets some friends in the incoming year because he sure is real lonely in that hollow head of your's! Anyways buh-bye hon, hope you have a fantastic day 🥰

[diazpatcher]

s15 let's go.

I'm.not ready to end the show but fuck I wanna see how it ends

I forgot that Cas still has his powers so that caught me off guard lol

what the fuck?????????????????????

"he didn't deserve this" a minute ago you were ready to kill him 😐

"I wouldn't starve 😐" CAS I LOVE YOU

Cas just doing this 🧍‍♂️ while Dean and an injured sam try to find a way out of the mausoleum 💀

JACK????????????? HELP WHAT 💀

"I'd do the whole eyes thing but uh, no eyes" lmao bestie go off 💅

"with that stupid dumb trenchcoat"💀

s15 is starting off strong 💪

"were twinsies" the gen z slang is finally there

loving that Demon already

oh those poor girls

so, it's s1 but 10 times worse.

Crowley Jr.😞😭

"big bag of salt" "and a human heart."🧍‍♂️

"Sam" WHY IS HIS HAND SO.CLOSE TO HIS CROTCH.

"move your exquisite ass, please."

DEANS HELL.MENTIONED "it was art." BRO

"You shoot me.😐"

Rowena wanting to fuck Ketch slay

DEAN RECOGNIZING CAS FOOTSTEPS 🫠

Mom come pick me up the angel and the hunter are fighting help

"We'd call it live." BABES "we ran our own moves"

Why is it giving divorce era 😔

"That we actually had a choice" Just fuck already.

"Whag about all of this is real. We are." AHGGGAGGG

Ketch wanting to fuck Rowena is also such a mood

KEVIN???????? what is this season 💀

Chuck is so embarrassing help. and Amara smelling his bs and knowing he wants something big sister go off

Dean knowing that fake Jack is behind him is so !!!!! baby you're so smart

THAT WHAT

"typically minellial" lmao

"souls go down to hell, heaven can't take em." BESTIE YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT

s15 is so weird 🤨

WHAT IS THIS FLIRTINT EMBARASSING HELP why is ketch grunting like that 😣

ofcourae Rowena knows Jack the ripper 🫠

KETCH NO he died cause he was horny

"Mr. Ketch." 👀

Kevin the soul catcher 😭

Are they sacrificing Keving once again, Ah no. okay.

The demon is so funny I love him <3

Cas not being able to heal ketch, did did Dean use God's gun.....

Belthagor I keep forgetting his name. 😔

Amara being done with Chuck is so funny. Amara go off queen 💅

But what I don't get is if Chuck can do anything why can't he just make another Amara... like a different Amara

Episode 3

Rowenas plan sounds nice but idk it can't be that easy..

Belthagor constantly yawning cause hes bored I love that for him

Rowenas pretty eyes <3

Oh no. no no Rowena????????????

Rowena being scared is so scary cause she is immortal 😔

Dean acting like he doesn't have a flask on him lmao

tbh atp I would kill myself if i was in spn

Wait, don't ghosts turn into demons after a while in hell.....

Rowena and Sam <3 MY SWEET BABIES 😭😭😭😭

Dean's gun <3

Dean being a soldier through and through SOMEBODY SEDATE ME I BEG

Ghostpacolypse LMAO "glorified fanboy" DEAN 😭 💀💀

"You don't have eyes" 😡

Liliths WHAT

ARE THEY GOING TO HELL OMG

Healing spell <3 babes I lovey youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

"DIBS ON SAMUEL" WITH THAT LOOK 🫣🫣🫣

oh it's gonna be Dean again isn't it....

"Yeah Cas will go, you've been to hell before" news flash Dean, all of you have

Is, is belthagor evil? ....

KETCH NO.

Cas going to hell not knowing if he's gonna come back....

ARE WE FINALLY GONNA SEE HELL

Cas and Bel DEAN YOU PETNAME LOVER

FINALLY HELL OMG

"I wanted your company" 🥹 Kill me now.

"Sam and Dean are using you, don't mistake that for caring about you." KILL ME NOW

CAS????????????????????????????????

enochian in hell???????? omg

Belthagor is giving major evil guy

"It's not working🧎‍♀️" lmao "their verses Cas I think they need to be sung😃"

AND WE DONT GET TO HEAR IT ARE YOU SHITTING ME RN

"You're voice is like an angel" 😃

CAS BABY NO.

I KNEW IT I KNEW HE WAS EVIL.

"heard there was a vacancy" lmaoooooo

Dean actually getting away unscathed is this real?????

SAMWENA HOLDING HANDS KILL ME

Cas you have to go please. please please. NO. NO no

QAIT NO. No IS THIS.

JACK?????????? WHAT WHAT WHAT. omg. Cas having to kill his son KILL ME NOW.

anytime anyone on this show cries all I hear is "pretty when you cry."

ROWENA No. NO NO No. PLEASE NO. PLEASE BABY NO. "death is an infinite vessel."

"Because dear," KILL ME NOW

I BEG PLEASE. "AND IT HAS TO BE YOU THAT KILLS ME."

"I don't care about anything enough to take my own life." HELP ME.PLS

Why WHY GOD WHY. Oh no. ROWENA NO.

I CANT EVEN TBINK WHAY FBE FUCK.

Also Dean parenting Sam once again im.gonma chew off my arm

Destiel Divorce era 😞

"Why is that something always seem to be you " I DISNT WANT TO BREATH ANYWAY "you used to trust me." KILL.ME

"my powers are failing and you don't even care. I'm.dead to you." KILL ME WHILW YOUR AT IT WHAYVTHE FUCK

IM PHYSICALLT UNWEL THIS IS THW WORST

lowkey Dean looks so good in thay last shot omg

i caved and started watching supernatural and Jesus fucking christ why are they so funny

[3ris-imag0ddessfrr]

Guys since Disney's refused to give our girl a name, can we as a fandom just start calling her Vicki after her voice actor

[spacedace]

Found this old snippet and don't really remember of the context for it outside of being a joking exploration of how weird the Fenton/Phantom family tree would seem to outsiders (not even getting into how relationships might be classified differently between the human side & the ghost side)

Anyway gonna drop it here as a prompt lol

Mind the quick reference to dismemberment, there's no gore or detailed description and no one is actually hurt, it's more there for comedic effect, but still wanted to give the heads up on it 👍

---

Nomad motioned to the towering, vaguely vampire-looking buff dude with literal flaming hair what the fuck, “Dan, this is everyone. Everyone this is Dan. He’s my…” Nomad trailed off and blinked, a look of confused befuddlement on her face as she let the sentence hang for too long.

“Huh…” She said considering, looking up at vampire-dude, Dan apparently, with a confused furrow on her brow. “You know this is the first time I’ve ever had to try and explain our relationship to each other and I’m drawing a blank and what exactly to call you. Uncle? Dad? Brother? Like, I think you could technically be considered all three.”

What the fuck did that mean??? Kon snapped his attention over to meet Tim’s masked gaze, the look of wild confusion Kon was sure was on his own face mirrored there. Around the meeting room confused and worried looks were being shared by the rest of the League. Which like, yeah, what in the Habsburgs was happening here for all of those terms to be applicable?

“Well, you’re Danny’s Mirror, so if you consider him your dad then it stands to reason I’m also your father.” Dan said, hand coming up to his - literally flaming, how did that work? - goatee thoughtfully.

“Yeah but like, I call Danny dad just to piss Vlad off.” Nomad countered, toying with her severed arm with her still attached hand. Kon didn’t think he’d ever get over how casual she was about being literally disarmed and just…not caring. “And I definitely don’t see you as a dad. Uncle?”

The giant of a ghost shook his head with a frown, “Implies that Danny and I are brothers, which could work but gives our relationship kind of a weird vibe. I feel more like his father than anything.”

“Gramps, then?”

“No.”

Nomad laughed, “Fair, wouldn’t want to take the title of Grampa away from CW. Besides we’re both half Vlad, so I think brother works best here.” She frowned, looking thoughtful, “Maybe half brother?”

Dan considered, “Half-brother could work. Though it gives Vlad more credit than he deserves.”

“Oh come on, can you imagine the look on his face if we went in together on suing him for child support?” Nomad asked, fanged grin wicked. Dan’s face lit up at the idea, and Kon felt like they were rapidly heading towards the two ghosts running off to go and go torment whoever this Vlad guy was rather then them help deal with the current demonic problem at hand.

“Can you please explain what any of that means?” Kon asked, more a squeak than anything else. He was starting to get a headache.

[galedekkarios]

"how could anyone ship bloodweave they make no sense at all" did you think about their stories, their motives, their ailments, their shared hobbies, the subtle progression of their relationship throughout the acts, and how very similar they can be despite being different. i know that you didn't but if you had then perhaps you would understand why some people might ship them, especially since a) you can successfully romance them in an origin run thus making it possible, b) astarion already tries flirting with gale unprompted in act 1, and c) you can romance astarion with a good-aligned pc and romance gale with an evil-aligned pc. so, like. what's not clicking

[spiderdetentionaire]

Young Goetia is huddled next to Lilith who is trying to comfort the teenager. And in the process Octavia receives what is known as affection from a mother figure.

Octavia: Seriously, I heard her. Besides wanting to kill my dad, she wants to kill me *wipes away tears and looks at the Sins* And it's all your fault! You took my father's powers away. Mammon: Okay. We fucked up, yeah. And we're paying the consequences, what else do you want from us? Lucifer takes a pillow from Belphegor that he used to get some sleep, and buries his face in it to start throwing a tantrum to vent the anger that he doesn't hide at all. Belphegor: Brother, calm down. Lucifer: Do you see what you caused, you bunch of idiots? Now this girl is in danger *presses the bridge of his nose, even though he doesn't have one* Tell me kid, where do you think your father could be? Octavia: Well, the only place I think about is my friend Loona's house. And she lives with her adoptive father, Blitzø *turns to look at Beelzebub* She told me about you and said you were friends, why didn't you do anything to help? She was going to answer but Satan intervenes. Satan: Very well. It was my fault, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I screwed up the most than them, okay? Lucifer: Well, that's a first step to admit your mistake… Amenadiel. Satan: gets upset That's not my name anymore��� Samael. Lucifer: *thinks a bit* Let me see, that Blitzø lives in the Imps' neighborhood, right? *Octavia nods* Ah, damn myself. I'll have to go through that angry mob again. I'll have to modify the Hierarchy and do what my beloved wife suggested. So Sinners, I'm sorry but now you'll be at the bottom of Hell. Angel: Great.

Lucifer heads for the door to leave, feeling the gazes of the Sins.

Lucifer: sighs Okay, you can go back to your rings now. And yes, I'll leave them clean for you. But if you do something stupid like that again, you'll see what's going to happen to you. I have plenty of imagination for punishments. *opens the door but Alastor stops him* What do you want, Bambi? Alastor: Wait, Your Majesty. I can't let you go to that place alone after your humiliating event. So you must be accompanied by someone who supports you. Someone who watches your back. So… Charlie, go and accompany your father. Charlie: For a moment I thought I had achieved something with you Alastor. Thanks because I thought I was dreaming *said somewhat disappointed* Come on, dad. Let's look for that Goetia.

The King and Princess leave the hotel in search of Stolas. Meanwhile, Octavia is still sad and can't stop hugging Lilith.

Octavia: Please excuse me, Queen Lilith. I just needed this. Lilith: Poor little thing. It seems you never had a mother's love *in her mind* Although I'm no better mother than she is. Octavia: Try as I might, I can't remember a time when she's ever done anything for me or shown genuine love. It was always me and my dad.

Curiosity overtook Lilith.

Lilith: Nothing? Not even a small detail about her or a simple "I love you, my beloved daughter"? Octavia: Just for show.

Lilith's "Mama Bear" mode turned on. She gently separated from Octavia and headed for the door.

Vaggie: Ma'am, where are you going? Lilith: I think I'll go have tea with this girl's mother and have a warm chat with her *and left the hotel*. Husker: Now she's pissed *goes to the six sins* So you're fallen angels? Satan: Why would we respond that to a sinner? Angel: Okay. Charlie's dad brought you here to insult us, or what? Besides, you can go back to your circles now, why are you still here? Vaggie: I think I know why. *addresses the Sins* Charlie told me a lot about you. About how her aunts and uncles took care of her when she was a little girl. I guess that's why you haven't left yet. You want to spend more time with her.

The six of them exchange glances, Vaggie isn't wrong, they enjoy Charlie's positive attitude and joy. They even like the Hotel, they like what she achieved and what she wants to achieve even though it seems impossible.

Mammon: It's true *he admitted* She's a special girl. Asmodeus: Yes. It's just that we didn't know what time would be right to spend time with her. Satan: It seems like she's fine without us. Belphegor: I remember when I made myself a giant and she slept in my wool when she was a baby. Leviathan: *both heads talk at the same time* Although we think she might need help with her plan. She wants to redeem the sinners to avoid exterminations, the problem is that she wants to redeem them all when that's impossible. If anything she could only redeem some, only if they want redemption. But not everyone deserves it. Octavia: *a little calmer* Once, when we were still a family, let's say functional, we watched her commercial on TV.

-FLASHBACK-

It was a quiet morning where the Goetia family was having breakfast when on TV they showed a commercial about a place in Hell founded by the Princess of this same Hell to redeem sinners so that they go to Heaven and thus avoid the annual exterminations. Stolas: That… sounds like an interesting idea. Stella: Pfff! Please. Does the little princess really think that sinners will want to go to her hotel or whatever to be better? They are just scum that enjoy being here. Octavia: Well, at least she tries to do something. I mean, her father lets those angels come here and cause a massacre every year. I have even lost some friends. Stella: Honey, they are souls that chose to be here and now they must suffer the consequences like the scum that they are. I have also told you to look for friends more on our level. Stolas: I think Octavia has a point. I even know sinners that deserve a second chance. Sure, there are a few of them, but… Stella: Ha! Of course. The day that girl manages to get a sinner to go to Heaven, then I'll… Umm… *thinks a bit* I can't think of anything. But that won't happen *puts food in her mouth* Nuh uh. Stolas: Don't talk with your mouth full, please.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

Vaggie: We'll make Stella eat her words. But you're right. And I tried to make her see that but I was looking for a way to do it.

Then the Sins exchange glances and nod to each other.

Bee: Araqiel. Alastor: Excuse me, your highness? Bee: That was my name before the fall. Araqiel. Asmodeus: Semyazza. Mammon: Gadreel. Leviathan: *both heads* Tamiel. Husker: And did you always have two heads? Leviathan: *both heads* We had one. But when we got the power of Hell that head split into two and two were formed. Belphegor: *yawns* Azazel.

In the end everyone sees Satan, who at first regrets the idea but gives a hot sigh.

Satan: You just heard it *groans* Amenadiel. Mammon: Considered as Father's favorite son. Although I think it's Michael now. Satan: Don't start. And we weren't just angels, we were archangels. The best archangels God has ever had among his children. Hmmp! I'm the oldest of all and Samael is the one who punishes us and all that. Bee: I wonder how Lucifer and Charlie are doing with that Goetia.

Mastermind Aftermath (ft. Lilith)

Charlie was watching TV with her mom when suddenly they show a summary of the trial.

Charlie: Oh shit.

Lilith: If your father sees this…

Lucifer arrives with a bowl of popcorn.

Lucifer: Hi my loves, what are you watching?

When he sees the summary on TV he drops the bowl to the floor. And although he seemed to be smiling, he was actually very pissed off with his horns visible.

Charlie: Dad?

Lucifer: I'm sorry but I have to take care of some things to do.

And without further ado he disappears.

An hour later. Vaggie turns on the TV and…

Vaggie: Puta madre!

Everyone is going to see the gossip.

666 News: Breaking news! Lucifer beats the shit out of the sins. Just like you hear it. The king of Hell made it snow in the ring of Wrath, put limits on consumption in the ring of Gluttony, put 100% discounts in the ring of Greed, applied parental control in the ring of Lust, made everyone happy with what they have in the ring of Envy and prohibited sleeping at all hours and laziness in the ring of Sloth. And now he is reportedly looking for the former prince Stolas to give him back all his power. The king of Hell was interviewed and this is what he said.

Lucifer: It's just not fair. I'm helping in my daughter's project, and these people are causing a mess with a lawsuit behind my back… it's not fair.

Reporter: Will things go back to normal in the other rings after what he did?

Lucifer: Until further notice and when I say so. And no more questions. I'm looking for Stolas.

Husk: He's pissed off.

Angel: Look what it says on my phone. It says that Charlie's dad has taken control over the rings and sent the sins to a specific place until he gets over with their mess and gets over his anger.

Lilith: And where does he plan to send them?

The hotel bell rings. Niffty goes quickly and comes back quickly.

Niffty: Charlie, they're looking for you.

Charlie goes and finds her uncles and aunts all scolded and punished.

Mammon: Your dad sent us here.

Beelzebub: And he will be in control of our rings until he says so. And all because of you, Satan!

Azmodeus: As some Imps would say: You fucked up!

---

In Stella's house, she throws the remote to the T.V. breaking it after seeing the news. Needless to say, she's just as pissed off as the time she found out Stolas was cheating on her with an Imp. Right next to her is her brother.

Stella: He can't do that, right?

Andrealphus: Oh dear sister *he takes a sip of his tea* Of course he can! Is fucking Lucifer we're talking about. Didn't you see what he did to the Sins?! Of course he can return your ex his powers.

Stella: *growls in frustration* And to think that all my plans are finally coming to fruition, only for that damn dwarf to show up and ruin everything. And yes, it is Lucifer we are talking about.

Under the table, as if it were a cartoon…

Andrealphus: But what a clever and original comment.

Whatever. Stella pulls out a huge folder with many plans against Stolas to claim absolute power. Andrealphus sees the folder and is shocked to see Octavia's photo in it.

Andrealphus: Are you thinking of plotting to kill your own daughter? Would you be capable of such a thing?!

Stella: Andrealphus! What are you saying?! OF COURSE I am capable, but it's not the time yet, silly. One step at a time.

Suddenly, she closes the folder and makes it disappear into a strategic location.

Stella: There's no other option. We have to kill Stolas before His Highness gives his powers back. *she laughs evilly*

Andrealphus: Let me think in a good plan for it. But I assure you, it will be done as you wish, my hot sister.

Brother and sister laugh evilly and madly, as if they were two kookaburras, and Andrealphus turns his head back maniacally.

Stella: But now I must step into my role as a devoted mother and go see Octavia to her room and tell her to come for dinner. That girl is skin and bones.

As Stella leaves, Andrealphus sees a picture of Stolas with a malicious look.

Andrealphus: I hope you've enjoyed your pathetic Imp, Stolas. Because soon you'll be--

Stella: Andrealphus!!

The ice bird gets up from his seat and runs towards his sister's scream. When he arrives, he finds Stella standing in Octavia's bedroom doorway.

Andrealphus: What's happening?!

Stella: Octavia's gone!

The young Goetia had escaped and took everything she could with her; clothes, phone, etc. Seeing the scene, Stella becomes thoughtful until she concludes something.

Stella: Changes of plans, brother. We have to kill her, too.

---

It had been about 5 hours since Lucifer left to look for Stolas. At the Hotel Charlie does everything possible to make her uncles and aunts feel comfortable, which is not easy since they already have a state of life and comfort zone already established. And of course, there was no lack of criticism or at best certain observations about the redemption plan that she wants to impart in her Hotel and the possible failure that this can entail.

But all that is interrupted when Lucifer appears at the main door all hurt, his clothes torn and tired. Lilith takes him to their room at the Hotel to take care of his wounds, for example she cleans the wounds on one of his legs.

Lucifer: Hey hey hey it burns it burns.

Lilith: It's incredible that you, being the king of hell, a simple demon, could have done this to you.

Lucifer: Demons in plural. And if I ended up like this it's because they piled up against me.

Lilith: Well, what kind of demons were they?

Lucifer: Imps.

Lilith: *not believing it* IMPS?!

Lucifer: But with impressive forces. I don't understand how they could do this to me. As if I had done something to harm them.

Lilith: Well, maybe it was because you put them at the lowest bottom of the Hierarchy in Hell.

Lucifer: Maybe that's why, right?

Lilith: I told you that that place was meant for Sinners.

Then Mammon appears at the door.

Mammon: Dear sister-in-law, are you still going to take your time to heal the wounds of poor Luci who was attacked by some fierce Imps? *laughs* Speaking about losers, bro.

Lucifer: Laugh, you fatso. I'd like to see you face those Imps who seemed to be full of sterols.

Lilith: Why do you say that?

Lucifer: Because the poor bastards jumped so high that they would surpass Sera's height... And how do you know they were Imps?

Mammon: They are broadcasting your humiliating event on Vox TV.

Lucifer: Damn bootleg plasma TV. Not only satisfied with trying to ruin our daughter's project... I'm going to close down his business and his partners' to see if he finds it funny.

Lilith: Mammon, why don't you kindly ask Niffty to prepare you something to eat *takes out a sewing needle* while I sew it up?

Lucifer: Are you going to sew my wounds with that needle?!

Lilith: No, your pants.

Lucifer: Ahhh

Lucifer takes off his torn pants. And yes, hus underwear has printed ducklings.

Lilith: And you, Mammon, go and ask Niffty for something to eat.

Mammon: Greaaaaaat. Okay, Luci, I'm leaving because my hunger is as fierce as some dangerous Imps *laughs again and leaves*

Lucifer: Let's see if you keep laughing, knowing that I control your ring.

Lilith: Please, Luci. Don't be angry anymore.

Lucifer: And how could I not be angry after the stupid thing they did behind my back? Speaking of stupid things, what an idiot I am for not having found Stolas yet, Oh My Father. I've already checked every corner of the rings and that Goetia doesn't appear. Well...

Lilith: Well, what?

Lucifer: I checked every corner, except the Imps' zone when they attacked me. And I'm still an idiot because it is said that he is having an affair with an Imp.

Lilith: The ex-prince of the Goetia having an affair with an Imp? This has become a soap opera.

Lucifer uses his magic to dress himself in better clothes and leaves the room. In the lobby, the rest of the sins, including Alastor, did not hide their desire to laugh after seeing on television how some simple Imps attacked the king of Hell.

Lucifer: Keep laughing, you fuckers. You won't see your rings in a long time. But now I have better things to...

But when he opens the doors of the Hotel to leave again, he finds a young Goetia about to knock on the door. It seemed that the girl was crying.

Octavia: King Lucifer?

Lucifer: Umm... yes?

Octavia: I need your help.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck

[iftitah]

.

[mrfunnyinthebank]

the narrator of this song is definitely sleeping with Johnny's girlfriend as a way to indirectly share intimacy with Johnny. he wants Johnny to put his hands on him so fucking bad, he doesn't even care if it's to smash his face in

[twpsyn-who]

Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.

Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.

Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.

'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.

Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.

[hauntingblue]

ZORO LORE FINALLY ⁉️

[ishikawayukis]

people know they can still use a side part even if they're not "in" right. like you don't have to dictate every single thing about how you look based on what's "in" or trendy or whatever, you can make your own decision and express yourself whichever way makes you more comfy, like people know this right

[mooblybloom]

WHAT IS HER NAME

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

SHE'S LITERALLY SO PRECIOUS AND I CAN'T FIND HER NAME ANYWHERE IT MAKES ME CRY

WHO ARE YOU YOUNG FOX WOMAN LET ME KNOW ALL OF YOUR SECRETS

[sugaroto]

Zjdbjzjd

If someone tells you their name is [name], then that's their fucking name. Stop trying to find out what "their actual name" is

So-

I'm having a birthday party this Saturday, (it's also a friend's nameday and we decided to celebrate it together) So we made a group chat with everyone to invite them.

We mostly have common friends so like, approximately 10 of the kids are our common friends, 5 are mine and 5 are hers

But it's cool cause we all go to the same school so yknow, not everyone is that close but we'll manage

Except one person, I invited someone that my classmates don't know, actually 2 of them know this person and have been friends for years (I met this person through them) and my best friend has also met this person one or twice

So we're gonna name this person Bob, so, Bob is not a greek name.

Today one of my friends was like who is this "usernameman guy?"

And she was talking with my friend who's met the guy and my friend was like his name is Bob

But she was like "There's no way his name is bob" so that's why they called me and asked me what usernameman's name actually was and I'm like "it's bob"

"But how can it be bob? His parents named him that?"

"That's what he introduced himself to me as. I guess it may be a nickname but that's how people call him so"

"Well I'm gonna call him Mpampi then"(or something very greek starting with the letter of the guy's actual name)

"His name is Bob"

...

Like. Ok. I know- I can tell, Bob is not the name he was given by his parents, I know his very greek last name. I've overheard people calling him by a different Greek name.

Still. He introduced himself as Bob. Their Instagram bio has "Call me Bob, they/she/he" and fanart with the non binary flag as a photo profile

In greek you can't really refer to someone with they/them so they're always referred with he/him pronouns (tho I've noticed sometimes they use feminine words for themselves like καλή) honestly I've been meaning to ask if they would also like to be called η Bob instead of ο Bob etc

My friend dropped the subject assuming I just don't know "his actual name"

But later as we were waiting for the bus one of their friends (I mentioned above I met this person through 2 other people) was there so my friend was like "oh he must know! [Dude] do you know what is usernameman's name?"

And all 3 of us(me, dude and my best friend) replied together that it's Bob

"That can't be his name! Dude whats his name?"

Dude: "it's... Bob"

"Are you kidding me how can it be Bob?!"

At that point my best friend snapped like "What's gotten into you my[girl]? Can you just drop it? The human is named bob" (Μπομπ τ��ν λένε τον άνθρωπο, sounds more friendly in greek)

At that time Dude's parents arrived so he left but I saw his face. He didn't want to have that conversation

I'm sure he knows "his actual name" since they've been friends for years

But if the person introduces themselves as fucking Bob then call them Bob, why you gotta ask everyone

[theood]

s/o 2 my cousin for actually having my.back and lying to my.mom abt if im on anything. Real actual mvp thanks for that ily keep it up

[anyknotrants]

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck