#Why that period? why not...though i also want to do other periods so thats what's stopping me

[kwiecista]

I'm this close 👌 to creating a 19th-century Magda sideblog so that I can scratch that historical itch in my brain

[nezz-cringe-crib]

growing up is realizing that dipcifica was actually a pretty damn good ship and holy shit i totally misjudged this pairing.

i never really liked dipcifica mainly because of how it got represented by the fandom, but looking back on it, it would've made a lot of sense and it would've been beneficial for both of them to date each other. and even in a completely platonic sense, their dynamic worked well enough that they could've done a lot more together.

dipper is a very nerdy awkward guy, clearly. he likes solving mysteries and sometimes he gets a little in over his head because of it. and his silly little awkward teenage love life reflects all of these things. that little shrimp was disney's #1 simp, it's actually insane. whenever he'd start to fall for a girl it'd end up going pretty terribly because he'd have no idea how to just act like himself and he'd also become a little bit of a jerk. (i'm not trying to like dog on dipper btw. he's just a kid and these are all understandable flaws, especially at his age and at the time period gravity falls took place in). however, with pacifica, a lot of these flaws are manageable solely because of how they're introduced to each other. dipper hates pacifica at first and wants nothing to do with her, but eventually they're forced to work together and realize "huh. we actually make a really good team." for dipper, this gradual building of a relationship is really beneficial to him. he wouldn't just go head-first into simping for some random girl and he'd also learn to respect her as a person and realize when he's being a little bit of a dick. being with pacifica, platonically or romantically (though personally i think romantically would strengthen their pros more but thats just my personal taste), would've helped dipper become a better person.

this goes for pacifica as well. pacifica's homelife is extremely controlling and it's what groomed her into becoming the mean girl that she's first presented as. as the show continues though, it's clear that she doesn't really want to be mean to anybody. she only acts spoiled because she doesn't know what else she can act like. she wants to connect to people but she's been so forced into this fake rich life that she has no idea how to be genuine with anybody. that's why her having a connection to dipper is so important. dipper is a little blunt, and he especially won't hide that from pacifica because he initially hates her and her family's lifestyle, so this'll eventually help pacifica realize "oh shit. i'm kind of a dick. my family are kind of huge dicks." and we do end up seeing this from her in "Northwest Mansion Mystery". she learns how to be herself, learns who "herself" even means, and learns to stand up for who she is when she figures that out. also pacifica's pretty damn smart???? especially socially???? she could absolutely help dipper do a lot of things when it comes to mystery solving, and with her status it'll most likely be things that dipper could never pull off and never even thought about because that's just what he's used to. they'd both end up learning a lot from each other because they'd be dragged into environments that they're not familiar with, but the other is. and their different perspectives/lifestyles would help the other view their environment in a new light.

not only is their relationship genuinely really beneficial to the both of them, but i also just know that their dialogue and scenes with each other would be so damn silly i can't not say yes to it anymore. i also just personally like headcanoning them both as bisexual so that's a plus for me.

anyways, tldr: i was wrong about dipcifica and its actually really good, i just think people should really analyze their relationship more since the way the fandom presents it (or how ive personally seen the fandom present it) is a little icky and shallow at least in my opinion. yay for dipcifica being silly little goobers :3

[tokidokiomi]

Tw: Blood(menstrual blood)

Imagine Simon; trying to woo his lover, those lingering gaze, not so subtle touches, and other body language he can make to give you a hint he wants to do it- as we all know he's not the type to brazenly ask he wants to fuck- thats a you thing, his shameful lovie.

And when the hints didnt work like he thought it would, he starts giving more of a obvious hints, clearing his throat as he caress your knees, slowly moving up to your thighs till the tip of his fingers is already easing its way in under your shorts, diving deeper in to reach the garter of your panties.

Though as soon as his fingers made contact to you panties, his fingers retreated, back to settling on your thighs. He knows thats more of a way to work you up, get you to ask him instead.

But this time, nothing.

Confused, he looks your way, with you focused on the tv, munching on some pepero stick. No care in the world

Now you knew it, since before his hands settle on your knees, the look he is giving you is enough, but this time you wanna tease him- a double tease if you may.

"What?"

You ask, as hes been saying nothing but just look your way.

"Nothing...just, looking."

His gruff reply followed by the shift of his hips, bulge on sight- as if turning it to show you- tell you what he needs.

"Mhm." A small nod from you is all he get of a reply, not the look of mischief like he always get when he shows you his bulge.

His moves are out, can no longer get you to ask him, so he is left to say it straight on.

"You in the mood for it?"

He ask as he looks at the tv then back at you, eyes needy. "For what?" "Fuck."

His reply is fast, his need for you undeniable

"Cant." Your reply made his head tilt. "Why cant you?"

You shrugged a reply. "Im on my period."

The moment you utter that word to him, he looks soooo offended. A look of both betrayal, disbelief, and major offense.

"So?"

You blink at him. "...so its bloody..?"

"And what about it?"

He leans in, breath heavy as he glares at you. "So what if its bloody? Its still your cunt- my cunt."

"I.." A reply of his thats both unexpected but also expected, he is kinda posessive but this? Youre not even sure anymore if its disbelief or lust youre feeling.

"You think bloods gonna turn me off?" He scoffs, holding your chin to look him straight in the eye, thumb caressing your cheek.

"I work with blood, can even taste it from a smell alone, i deal with it everyday. If anything, its no different from water to me from seeing it so often- and you think itll gross me out? Never."

Simon moves his thumb to caress your bottom lip. "Will you let me? Ill be soft, given youre sensitive, yeah?"

He leans in, nuzzle his crooked nose on your neck as he lets out a soft whine.

"Please?"

(Sorry bout this one. No proofread just wrote this down on a whim for fun)

[twstfanblog]

Oki Doki, I know that this may sound a bit charged, and you can tots ignore this if you want to, but I wanted to just throw this in there

The overblot boys with an anarchist reader/Yuu. They simply don't like nor understand the reason for a hierarchy and don't believe that one person should be in charge of a whole kingdom, be it a hereditary "god given right" or not. They got mad at their society that failed them back on their world, and are very hesitant to trust the boys due to their status, since they don't know if TWST's ruling class is different from the ones back at home.

That's all, take care, hydrate

Overblot Boys React to Anarchist Reader

Overblot Boys & Reader

Riddle

Why would you start this fight with him?

This boys entire spine and personality is built on the concept of rules and hierarchy, the concept of anarchy is madness to him. And not the good kind. He firmly believes that a governing body is simply a byproduct of forming a society. You can't have one without the other.

Debates. He will be there every time you start talking about your societal ideals and how you believe things should be. It's entertaining for others to watch because even with Riddle's character growth, he believes in there being a governing body that works for the betterment of the people. Period.

Though with your debates, he starts to learn more about anarchy and the actual ideals of it. He does find the idea of a direct democracy to be appealing, but he also runs a dorm full of people whose first choice is chaos. He needs to be the voice of absolute authority.

Leona

Why would you do this to yourself?

Leona goes against the grain himself, so he'd understand the appeal of anarchy. Plus if you talked about your world's messed up ruling class with him, he'd completely understand your stance. Leona, self-serving as he is does believe that the ruling class should look out for everyone under them. And if they aren't, change needs to happen.

That means nothing, he will still debate you on it. Leona is a good leader, wild as his dorm may be. But he doesn't believe a completely ungoverned society is something that could be achieved on a larger scale. Small communities can operate as anarcal societies easily. But the more people you add, the higher the number of variables grow. He finds people too easy to manipulate.

He agrees with the concept of anarchy, but he will debate you on whether the practice of it would actually be plausible for a real society. Savanaclaw can self-govern itself, but it's also prime for internal conflict all the time.

Azul

He's from the sea, thats the closest thing to a functioning anarchist system he knows. They still have a royal family that filters through their requests and works to keep the kingdom happy. But, whatever happens in the water, stays in the water. People kind of do as they please with the only threat being someone bigger and badder coming along.

But even with that system, they still have a ruling class of royalty and nobility. He can't really wrap his head around the concept of actual anarchy. Voluntary services are still a service; that's still a group of people commanding some type of respect for their actions.

There are no real laws in the sea, and people maim and murder each other pretty freely down there. Land society is much more...safe compared to what he and the twins grew up with.

He thinks it's kind of cute that you want anarchy. As if more than half the students in the school wouldn't instantly choose murder and deceit to get through life if they didn't have someone to answer to. Octavinelle is a dorm of cunning and shady people, trusting in the goodness of his fellow men isn't something he knows.

Jamil

He'd lowkey look at you like you're dumb. He'd never say you are, but he's looking.

Even bottom of the pyrimand he is, Jamil believes in there always being someone above someone else. He's not as power-hungry as he was before his overblot, but he very much still dreams of being 'above' others.

While Jamil deeply understands your stance, he thinks instead of throwing the whole system out, you should first try to fix the system you have first. If its truely beyond saving, then yes, start over. But true anarchy isn't something he finds possible.

He feels even if you get rid of the old system, you'd simply form a new one. It's human nature. Certain people are better than others, offer skills no one else can. That gives them a sense of power and they then gain authority on how they choose to share those talents. Government systems come in many forms for a reason. It's human nature to form heirarcy. Scarabia is a political battle field, people follow Kalim because his family is rich and influential with all they've done to help their community through trade.

Vil

What are you talking about???

Are you're gonna look this benevolent queen bee in his perfectly winged eyes and say that you don't believe hierarchy and governing bodies are needed for a peaceful society? It's 11am, what are you smoking?

Of course, someone has to be in charge. That's just how things get done. Tiebreakers are a thing for a reason. Yes, he understands that your world's system has failed you. It was a shitty system. But, the idea of simply having no one in charge isn't possible. People who govern are charismatic and persuasive. They lead with words and logic, something that people follow.

He believes, even in an archarchy, someone will rise up as a 'Voice of the People'. People can be easily influenced. It'd be easy for someone pretty or silver-tongued to rise above and place themselves as a ruler of smaller communities. It's basically what Pomefiore is, Vil proved himself to be the best at what everyone in the dorm strives for so he is their leader.

Idia

Sounds cool, what do you do what the crazy people?

Insensitive, but he's kind of serious. Like-minded people group together, that includes people with less-than-savory ideals than others. If everyone is on an equal playing field protection and decision-wise, with the only thing they have to fight back is numbers, that can get dangerous real quick.

It's basic MMO rules. Newer players latch together to protect themselves from older players who make a habit of picking off newbies as soon as possible to maintain a sort of control over areas.

He trusts the idea of the system, he just doesn't trust the people in it. People are too easily cruel to someone they deem weaker because he's guilty of it himself.

Malleus

He lowkey can't even really understand how it'd even work.

Briar Valley is a small-scale society land-wise, but Malleus rules over an entire species. The very idea of there...not being a hierarchy is laughable to him.

Hierarchy in the Fae is purely power-based since it's in their nature to do as they please anyway. The only way to get them to listen is to simply be stronger than them. As such, the strongest of whatever fae speaks for all of them. Their whims are normally the same anyway, doing whatever they please.

His family has ruled as an absolute monarchy for literally millenia. To not have a ruling class seems odd to him. Who makes the choices? Who sorts the concerns of the citizens? Who decides what and which issue is more important? Who will mediate conflicts between opposing parties?

[zoesmp4]

WARMTH “and so, you drifted into sleep, finding solace in the warmth of his presence.” daryl dixon x fem!reader

tags: hurt to comfort, ass ending (i tried 💔), swearing, reader is on her period, short

a/n: first daryl fic woop woop!! everyone say thank you gracie cs she requested yet another good fic idea 😵‍💫 so it was supposed to be a fluff but it ended up being a htc.. oopsies.. but hope ygs enjoy!!

there were many perks that came from being a female. but periods? not one of them. you don’t know why your younger self was so eager to get it. to put it simply, periods sucked. they made you feel awful. 

before the apocalypse it was already pretty hard for you. but now, it was incomparable. after all, it’s not like you had shit just laying around to help you. 

so, whatever you thought was “rough” back then, it was way rougher now. when it was your time of month. you would get cranky, a stark contrast to your usual bubbly demeanor. on top of that, you also had to deal with the fatigue and endless mood swings. 

the worst thing though, was the cramps. the constant waves of sharp pain pushed you to your limit. 

they were also the reason you were currently perched on your bed, back leaning against the headboard, with your knees held up to your chest. 

honestly, it had been a decent day until now. you did some stuff to help out, and caught up with your friends. you were able to partially take your mind off of the discomfort you were feeling. 

but of course, the stupid cramps ruined it all. you had to excuse yourself before hastily making your way back to your room. you practically collapsed onto your bed the second you walked in. 

and that’s how you found yourself in this situation. if anyone walked by your room, they would assume you were dying. or atleast, that’s what your countless groans made it sound like. 

to your luck, you suddenly felt the urge to cry. “suck it up.” you told yourself, knowing that this was another dumb mood swing which was a normal occurrence during your period. but, you lost the battle between your emotions and you. 

with the pain coming from your cramps, and the sudden sadness you felt, you couldn’t stop yourself. tears welled up in your eyes and cascaded down, mimicking a waterfall.

only a few moments later, you jumped slightly when you heard a loud knock at your bedroom door. the person didn’t even wait for your response before barging in. that sort of thing would’ve annoyed you if it was any other person, but it was daryl. 

you felt slightly embarrassed that he was seeing you in this state, but he was your boyfriend. he’s seen you at your worst. he quickly walked over to to your bed, his footsteps echoing. 

“what’s up with ya? heard ya weren’t feeling too good.” he said, sitting down on your bed. he placed the back of his hand onto your forehead, checking to see if you were sick. after noticing you didn’t have a fever, he wiped his thumb under your eyes to wipe away the hot tears.

“no fever. why do ya look like yer bout’ to hurl?” he asked. the vision he put in your head didn’t make you feel any better. daryl didn’t know that much about periods, but you couldn’t blame him. 

you opened your mouth to reply, but instead you let out another groan. he looked at you with concern in his eyes. “what do ya need? what’s wrong?” he grunted out. 

all you needed was something that would relieve these fucking cramps. you needed a heating pad, but of course, you didn’t have one. so, you did the only thing that could help you in that moment. 

you gently pulled your boyfriend’s head down to rest on your lap. you sighed in small relief. the feeling of his warmth coming into contact with your body felt nice. 

meanwhile, daryl on the other hand was full of confusion. “the hell ya doin’?” he asked. “shut up, just give me a minute.” you mumbled, closing your eyes.

he wanted to protest, but he held himself back. he knew this was helping you, and thats all he really cared about. “get to sleep angel.” he quietly muttered.

and so, you drifted into sleep, finding solace in the warmth of his presence.

[honeytonedhottie]

what i learned during my reflection period⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧖🏽‍♀️🎀

as you may or may not have noticed, i've been hiatus for most of the month now. and i disappeared because of personal reasons, and one of those reasons being that i felt i needed to reflect. here are some things that i've learned and realized during my reflection time.

this is quite personal to me, but i wanted to kind of have a heart to heart with you guys and im sure that someone is probably struggling with what i mention in this post so i hope this is comforting...💬🎀

WHY I FELT STUCK IN MY LOA JOURNEY ;

i was literally doing the most and it felt like such a chore at the time. i would force myself to affirm in ways that felt unnatural, i was letting myself get bullied by the 3D, even though i KNOW i dont have to do a thing. i was putting way too much effort in the wrong way.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i took a step back and RELAXED. i did what felt natural again and enjoyed manifesting again and because of that i've had success story after success story...💬🎀

DOING A SELF AUDIT ;

i wanted to take a second and expose toxic behaviors and patterns that i noticed i exhibit and that have started to affect not only my physical but my mental in a very very negative way.

i'd been struggling with regulating my emotions and managing them so i was a walking ball of stress 💀. a beautiful ball of stress but stress nonetheless. i just felt so stuck.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went through the motions and after having a total meltdown and doing a bit of journalling i released everything, giving myself a completely clean slate once more.

i did a bit of a refresh and did miscellaneous things to make myself feel like im starting again. things like self concept work, changing the theme of my phone, taking an everything shower + bubble bath, having a pinterest makeover and getting a trim on my hair.

i forced myself to drink more water, and go for long walks not only to get some sunlight but to get my heart pumping and push myself out of the depressive rot that i had been in for months internally, but had pushed itself out as soon as summer started.

THE DEATH OF A SITUATIONSHIP ;

i got really attached to this boy 😭 but he was such a piece of work. like he did that hot and cold shit, but i rly rly liked him so i ignored the obvious red flags. but i got to a point where i just felt used and embarrassed. upon further reflection i think i didn't wanna let him go because he was so fine 💀, like 6'5 muscular kind of fine.

no matter how handsome a guy is if he has an ugly personality or if he just treats u badly then hes not fine at all...💬🎀

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went no contact. thats like the easiest way to get over someone i think lol. i went no contact and i just manifested better things for myself. like being asked out by a bunch of guys and wingstop to comfort myself 🧋

also i focused on what i got out of the whole thing. i got the redirection that i wanted, PLUS i was filled with inspiration for my song writing.

SONG RECOMMENDATIONS ;

i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - kali uchis

eternal sunshine - jhene aiko

let you go - clara la san

needy - ariana grande

AT THE END OF THE DAY ;

i wanted to include this section as a reminder that everyone goes through shit. things happen. its okay to be affected by it and its okay to be sad. the most important thing is to not dwell on it too long. remember that you are not a victim and remember how amazing you are BECAUSE YOU ARE. you are amazing and no matter what happens, regardless of anything your gonna be okay and your gonna be in a much better place, it starts with putting one foot in front of the other...💬🎀 (love honey)

[callistocalavarni]

hey girlie! hope you're doing well<3 also, love the new blog theme♡

i read this post (https://www.tumblr.com/hrrtshape/782835465002926080/read-this-if-youre-confused-about-persistence-if?source=share) by hrrtshape recently...

do you think that our reality not changing 'instantly' depends upon whether we're fully committed to our consiousness/accept it as a fact or not? putting aside all the desperation, etc, after you're certain that you've shifted in your mind?

I just wanted to get your views on this because tbh I may or may not have understood her poetic prose ;(

thank youuuu!!!🫶🏼🎀 lots of love!!!!!

Hii, I hope this makes sense, it might sound like something everybody has said already but then again thats just the shifting community so who cares, also thanks !

Also this might not make any sense at all.. actually fuck the human language for not allowing me to communicate my abstract thoughts about reality and how time works….I wish I were telepathic.

Quantum mechanics tells us that particles can be in several places at once. If the particles can be in several places at once and we are made up of these particles we should be able to be in several places at once as well. This is were Hugh Everett proposed his many worlds theory, stating that wave functions never collapse. ( stay with me ) Collapse implies that the other states in super position disappear, so that only one position remains. This would be the idea that there is only one true reality, this one that you are experiencing, but with many more theories coming out about how reality works that notion becomes more distant.

The many worlds theory suggests that there is a third level of parallel realities you can experience by making certain choices. Now you can say his many-worlds theory was widely ignored for his time, and you would be correct, but recently it has caught attention of the physics community. I'm not saying that Everett was right about everything and that is theory is the "manifesto" of how we perceive reality but it can certainly be a jumping point of understanding.

Small changes in our thinking can lead to different outcomes. I've had certain realities relay what my mind has picked up, I've noticed that even though you think you are in a stagnant period relating to shifting your mind is still projecting what you are thinking onto the world. For example, many of my dreams are just jumbled non sense of what I do and think throughout my day. Same goes for realities I shift to, even though I haven't experienced certain situations it still shows up.

We don't know a lot about the mind, and (to an extant) we don't know why the mind tends to delay things; learning, developing mental blocks, etc.

Take a piece of paper, look at it fully and imagine that its your consciousness in its entirety. At the top of the paper, measure a centimeter then take your pencil and draw a line horizontally all the way across. See? Thats a sliver of the paper ( your consciousness ) Thats about all you are using. Only that tiny bit is what we are aware of at this moment.

Ever single human has a different way of being aware. Thats why so many people shift in different ways. Its the levels in which you think that make up what you are ware of.

For example, one persons way of shifting could be pacing around in their room daydreaming about their dr and thats how their mind understands shifting, thats how their mind knows when to shift. Another person could use the method between being awake and being asleep to shift and thats how their mind discerns this reality from another.

Our brain is stubborn, fulling accepting something as fact is one thing, being fully aware is another. Desperation or any of the such will not stop you from shifting.

Ok so, to dumb it down, there is no past, there is no future, the only true thing is what you experiencing now - and with the concept of shifting you can choose to experience anything you'd like. The essence of being where you are is deciding what you are aware of. Whenever I shift It feels like smooth, like your in the zone of flowing thoughts, it comes in this abstract state of awareness.

im done looking at this obsidian doc I have three months of homework i need to finish by june so this is all you are getting from me so sorry, ( i have no idea how emma does all that I have so much respect for her )

[boopshoops]

Common sense doesn't feel all that common when coming from a fella such as this.

template by ai-kan1! dividers here! sound on :)

Alias: Creek

Nickname(s): Cricket, Piranha

Gender: Xenogender

Pronouns: Any with they/it preference (they>it). Also prefers masculine language/titles (i.e. lad, mister, sir, etc.)

Sexuality: Unlabeled

Birthday: June 1 (Gemini)

Age: Somewhere close to 200, they've stopped counting

Height: 5'8 or 172cm, though the height of the doll is adjustable.

Voice Claim(s): Yuri Lowenthal, Keiichi Nanba

Twisted From: Jiminy Cricket

Unique Magic: None! It's magicless.

Job: Playful Land Owner

Hobbies: Terrarium making, architecture, entrepreneurship, bug collecting, raising bug colonies, reading, violin, creating soundscapes, fashion.

Likes: Bugs, spiders, nature, Italian roulade, their doll body, cricket song, old locomotives, leaving large impressions on others, seclusion.

Dislikes: Existentialism, extreme pessimism, extended periods of boredom, drawing in an unwanted crowd, unrewarded extended efforts.

Fears: Being completely numb, feeling nothing, being stuck in one place for too long.

Summary: The eccentric yet secluded benefactor of Playful Land, both feared and loved by many for their charities. The owner is known for exploring many different business ventures, to the point where their company is behind a startlingly large amount of big names and faces. It's been around for a suspiciously long amount of time... at least others find it suspicious, Creek's lifespan isn't that much of a secret to their close circle... that circle mostly consisting of a bunch of insects, but still.

Creek, evidently, is more so focused on doing their own thing and finding constant sources of emotion rather than living up to the standards their business has risen to. After all, once you reach the top, it has to find out just what else life has in store for them. That, and what life has in store for others. Whether that is dangerous or not is up to you, long as you stay on your toes.

Playful Land's owner is known among their hires - even in avenues outside the amusement park - as being oddly generous, if not even incredibly intelligent. Guidance is something they are almost always willing to offer, in any topic or field. Don't get it wrong, though. They're not kind or overtly rude. What you see is what you get, even if it gets you sent straight to hell. Thems the facts, lad.

CHARACTER PLAYLIST - CREATION STORY - DEATH STORY

Author's note: koisdghdosieeee theyre so sillayyy! theyre just sooo sillay guys trust me guys its just a sillay lil geek mk! wym they abandoned isola and stole whats practically her skeleton. what could u posibly mean i jhave no idea what you're talking about :) they just like little critters theyve never done anything wrong no human trafficking into labour here noooooooooooooooooooooooooo pal!!!!!! perfectly legal lived a perfectly normal amount of time totally is NOT a peepaw and has not fed ANYONE to their massive supply of crickets.

anyway ernesto/fellow bombing their giantass ship was the most entertaining thing thats happened to them in a decade <3

mr. "why are you charging those two for the destruction of the park" "i just wanted to see what would happen lol" Creek

Tag list :)

@skriblee-ksk @lowcallyfruity @justm3di0cr3 @kitwasnothere @cecilebutcher

@distant-velleity @thehollowwriter @techno-danger @scint1llat3 @the-trinket-witch

@beneathsakurashade @kathxrat-01 @qsoap @twsted-canvas @prince-kallisto

@gimmeurmoneyagh @tixdixl @sillyslipperybananapeel @twstinginthewind

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[crownedhades]

im having a killer sans and my own personality disorder fixation so i might as well talk about them both. and also share how my symptoms and love for killer overlap.

ill also be talking about color and swap sans.

.°• ੈ♡₊˚•.

so for reference i have covert schizoid personality disorder. covert meaning that you would not initially expect me to be szpd upon first meeting me unless youre a psychologist that understands how my inner mind works.

anyway. szpd is also commonly compared to autism, depression, avoidant and anti-social personality disorders due to a variety of reasons and overlapping symptoms.

short comparison explanation to quickly dumb it down: autism? shared social ineptness. depression? chronic anhedonia. apd? we... avoid people. aspd? most schizoid's have limited or no empathy.

for a quick szpd description, read this brief mayo website. keep in mind, though, that while mayo clinic is mostly credible, they do reference the dsm-5. schizoid specialized psychologists are known for having beef with the dsm-5 and constantly shit on it in their introductions in schizoid related research papers.

as another thing, schizoid's have this thing called a "safety person." not all schizoid's have one, but its a clinical term used for when a schizoid trusts someone enough to rely on them for things. i guess. (similar to the term "favorite person" for bpd? but obviously not as extreme since we can easily cut our sp off if theyre deemed unsafe. we're not that attached.)

why am i explaining all of this? because i know damn well most people reading this have no idea what szpd is. from lengthy experience.

moving on!

what you have been all been waiting for... killer sans.

yeah, honestly, i love the dude. i kind of see him as a son more than anything, so outside of me projecting myself onto him, hes kind of like a son to me.

an adult son that i have not been able to kick out of the house for a millenia bc he spends all of his money on random shit that he collects and trophies in his room. type of vibe.

anyways, i know people usually headcanon killer as having aspd. and im not gonna take that away from anyone because honestly, i 45% agree with it. its not my cup of tea, but theres definitely some convincing signs.

but then do i headcanon him as having szpd, if not aspd? fuck to the fucking no. he is closer to aspd than szpd for sure, even if i dont fully support aspd killer.

but as someone with szpd, i do heavily relate to killer in quite a few things. such as the general emotional supression that comes with being a schizoid. the absolute indifference that embodies us. the lack of reaction. the lack of feeling. the lack of identity. having to mimic other people just to blend in and avoid confrontation because we dont want any kind of attention. good or bad attention.

sure, killer is much different than us when it comes to attention. honestly, from the looks of it, im pretty convinced he has periods of craving attention.

schizoids do not crave attention.

but on a lot of other things.... its easy to relate to him. its easy to see myself in him. its easy to pick apart his mind and psychoanalyze his character when you've already done half the work just by observing yourself.

a schizoids observation of the self can be described by this fellow tumblr user.

so its very easy to understand killer. stupidly easy. like a predictable animal under the influence of "classical conditioning."

classical conditioning... this does not help with my more cruel, angst-driven headcanons.

but anyway.

color sans in specific almost feels like a safety person to killer. because like... in order to be a safety person, you have to respect a schizoid's autonomy and independence. you cannot force us to rely on you. you cannot force us to open up to you.

so i make this comparison because i feel like thats exactly how it works between killer and color, too. they go at each others own pace. color only makes emotional demands when its important, but otherwise keeps a reasonable space as to not overwhelm or threaten killers autonomy. mutual respect and effort kind of thing.

i also make this comparison due to killer's absolute hatred for swap sans. how hes depicted to always be bullying or releasing his anger out on swap. and for what? because swap wants to help killer?

another trait that happens to relate to schizoid.

schizoids easily feel disgusted by reassurance and people going out of their way to "help them." mostly due to the schizoids innate superiority complex (but has a stable ego, uneffected by praise or criticism) and because schizoids "already know" what theyre being reassured on.

its like youre insulting our intelligence and logical reasoning, essentially, since we are not intune with our emotions enough to accept emotional reassurance.

which i think killer also feels when it comes to swap. swap's attitude feels more like an insult than anything, which is different from color's laid-back approach.

"how dare you tell me something i already know?" kind of thing.

.°• ੈ♡₊˚•.

this is all for tonight. i might make a part 2 post tomorrow. its time for bed for me.

again tho i do not think killer is szpd. this is just a comparison for funsies.

edit: heres part 2

[prettyboykatsuki]

i wld like chigiri lore bc i have the most insane brain worms about that guy and i need to understand him on a fundamental level so i can get him inside of me . anywayz

uhmm i feel like i've spoken about chigiri a lot so i do have some other posts about him if you're curious on my particular perspective on him.

i think the most notable one is this one where i talk about what animal represents him though so ill link that here from my old blog. i do think understanding that is like a crucial perspective on him because it adds a lot of context to his design.

chigiri is . tricky. sdkjfnsjsd. my perspective on him has changed a lot during the neo egoist league - but i get most of my chigiri characterization from his 1. light novels and 2. his growth period in NEL. but again it's ... Tricky because like. it's not that chigiri is invulnerable. i depict him a certain way and i do agree with that depiction of him.

calm, cool, collected and playful - while generally having a strangely strong feeling of masculinity to him are all things i think of as canon. i just think that sort of thing is pretty present in his behavior. he's just very cheeky and he's the type of person to do what he wants no matter what other input people have. and he like canonly likes to mess with people. the younger brother in him surely.

but even with that, he describes himself as intense emotionally. his preferred type is someone whose more collected then him - and i think my characterization and writing does not properly expand on this nuance which is why i'd like to write him something more fleshed out someday.

for the most part and as professional player especially - i think chigiri is a lot more confident which is another reason i usually focus on those aspects of him. but he also has like... surprisingly strong emotional attachments when he forms them.

there's like. a whole bit in chigiris light novels where he's trying to feed a black cat - and given the description, i think the cats personality is meant to be a mirror of chigiri himself. it's described with the same word people use for him. cheeky but curious. but thats unrelated djknskjd

MORE SPECIFICALLY THOUGH - CHIGIRI GOES TO VISIT THE CAT A LOT AND LIKE?? TEASES IT??? like he's trying to feed the cat but it's trying to trick him and chigiri basically playfully messes with it before ultimately just feeding it to him. it's clear chigiri has an immediate like and fondness for the cat too (he says he would spend the last day on earth petting a cat) but he also enjoys pushing it's buttons!!!!! and later, he like vents to the cat. like his attachment to it is very strong.

IN ANY CASE IT'S LIKE...i think chigiri IS the type of guy to mess with and tease you. i write him as very masculine and usually domineering bc i like the contrast but even submissive he's very bratty and like described. but i think it's missing the specific nuance that that is kind of a way for him to taper the intensity of his like... genuine desire and affection for you.

because that aspect of him is really Fucking intense. i dont think he forms connections like that very easily bc he was rather isolated in his talent and says he hates being envied for it. in fact, i dont think we've seen him do it in bluelock though kunigami might be the closest we've gotten.

but i think a romantic relationship, like a really genuine serious one - makes his personality like ten times more intense which is why i write him Like That. he is playful and everything but that's why i depict him doing stuff that feels extreme. it's out of affection, like a cuteness aggression - and it grows rather gradually. and makes Him Worse

[rabbitbandit05]

Head-canon: Mizu/Reader while on their Period

First official post for BES fandom, thats exciting!

I have recieved a few requests and have started working on them, so those will be posted very very soon! Reminder that if you have a request to please either comment or to submit an ask on my page (anonymous is on if that matters).

Ok, now getting into the actual post: Im not sure why I wrote this, could be because I was on my own period and it seemed like a fun topic to cover since it isn’t always talked about. These are all my own personal head-canons and may differ from what others think, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

I feel like Im also not sure weather to use You when refering to you, the reader, or to use Y/N, so for my first post I kept it very general (I use reader in this post isntead of 'you' or 'Y/N'. please give me feedback on this and weather you would prefer me to use something different.)

Warnings: Mentions of Blood (duh), Mensuration, and NSFW

🚫Minors DNI!🚫

Mizu on her period: 

Her periods are irregular, mainly due to her inconsistent diet and stress she is usually under

But when they do come, she can usually handle them pretty well. She doesn’t mind the blood and the pain isn’t terrible either (considering the pain she has felt before)

It does bother her though that she is slightly limited in movement and has to wrap herself either 1.) very very well so that she doesn’t bleed through or 2.) rewrap herself every other hour, which is annoying and costly of time

She also hates that it’s an indicator of her gender and one wrong move could expose her

During the worse days of it, might just stay at an inn for the night rather than staying outside (if that’s an option)

Reader is particularly attentive during this time for Mizu and is doing anything to comfort her (even if on the outside she doesn’t show that she is in pain, reader still knows she must be) 

Reader heats up water, messages her tense shoulders, ect. Really anything to ease the pain (reader usually does this, but does it more so while Mizu is on her cycle)

Reader also helps to clean her wraps, since it would look suspicious if Mizu did it herself and wasn't injured. 

Reader on Their period:

Not gonna write too much for this section since everyone's periods are different and don't wanna generalize

When reader is on their period, Mizu is more attentive for sure, and more affectionate since she understands reader is struggling a bit

Might make sure to take longer breaks while traveling, so that reader has more time to gather and situate themselves 

Mizu gives lots of hugs and cuddles while reader is on their period, especially at night when everyone else is asleep

NSFW: 

depending on weather reader is inclined to sex while on their period or not is up to readers interpretation 

If yes, then Mizu doesn’t mind fingering her partner while they are on their cycle

In fact, I think she rather likes it, considering the only other time there is blood on her hands is when someone has been killed or injured, or it’s her own blood- 

She finds it almost ironic that the same hands that have shed so much blood can also be covered in readers blood (for a good reason)-

I don’t think she would mind eating out reader either, not finding it disgusting at all

When Mizu is on her period, she doesn't mind being touched, but also doesn’t exactly initiate it 

She still views it as something to be ashamed of 

And just generally wants to ride it out before being sexual/ sexually involved with reader again (at least on her part) 

But I’d reader initiates it, then Mizu is happy to go along with it, though it’s still limited and mainly just cuddles 

Suggestions and feedback is appreciated! Thank you for reading!

-Rabbittea🐰

[rin-and-jade]

Home Sweet Home..! : A Post about Your Inner-world.

That's right, it is no other than your own comfortable place to rejuvenate and meet your beloved parts.. We all want to access the inner-world as sometimes, the outside world can be daunting, right?

Come and take a seat on this imaginary, velvet textured, freshly imported sofa, i'll tell you what's this about:

to each and every one of those who yearns to visit its own mental home, this post is for you! And also for those who are front-stuck, or wanted to see--and build its world as a better place. This is also a well-rounded discussion regarding today's topic for those seeking general information on worlds.

TLDR PASS: AVAILABLE

-- This post will be long, and be split into three different sections, 1. The Basics 2. How to create a World 3. Ways to access your World So, make sure you sit somewhere comfy before reading. --

1. The Basics

Okay, but why is it called "inner" world?

Well, in general it constitutes things around emotions, sensations, memories, or other intangible things. There is no defined meaning for the inside world, as everyone experience them differently:

"The Inner World is full of choices wherein we choose what we want to do and what not, our emotions, expectations, our perception of things, expression of our attitude, our inner thoughts and our self-concept." - LinkedIn

Though for systems, our usage for the inner-world is similar to daydreaming, or in another name, mental visualization.

This is as to how the mental mindscape is used to express different part's thoughts or feelings, and also develop a sense of appearance which is often disconnected from the biological appearance for better expression and sense of cohesion/alignment for each alters.

Hm.. does everyone have one?

If you're asking wether all system has this mindscape by default? No.

Apparently, there is a common belief where all systems have inner-worlds, but thats due to the expectations of what a system "normally" has or do. Everyone manifests their own disorders differently, there is no right or wrong way, or things that makes you more or less of a system through this topic.

How should i use my world, though?

There's more than one way to use or interpret how it is utilized. Inner-worlds isn't only about imagination,, in fact, it is a mental palace where all internal processes like processing feelings, generate thoughts, or where you also create an artificial interpretation of the outer world for a better perception.

Inner-worlds are also made of literal and symbolic elements. Both shapes how your inner-world looks like, or work like.

Some utilized the mind's world through a storyline or a simulation to navigate it's experiences, some focus on world building to portray how they perceive its own life or state, and others express mainly through feelings or inner monologue without spending time and effort to create a visualized mental world scape. Anyone can do a little bit of those, or all at the same time too, this is about how the world is utilized.

Here are some examples:

Use it as a meeting spot for better communication and identify other speakers easier

Use the imagination to explore how every alters feel with their identity, appearance, and preferences

Use it to depict your state of mind through the areas of your innerworld, that can represent values or beliefs or emotional experiences Your world can be as simple or complex as you want--go wild!

Do i need a world?

It depends on what you want to do. This isn't a yes or no answer, but i would always recommend people to spend more time creating its own mental world to create a stronger gateaway for system communication and self expression.

You can still live a good system life without having or accessing the inner-world often, you know?

But i can't see internally!

Aphantasia is a condition where you cannot imagine mental images--or keep them clear for long periods, lack of color or foggy lines can also indicate a lesser degree of the condition. For this remedy, step back and remember--your mental senses isn't bound to images only, what about vibes? Or tactile sensations? Utilize your other senses to good use, it's still possible. The mindscape is all about memorization and familiarity, you can still navigate the world, although blind, because of this.

2. How to create a World

Before we get into the steps, here is a reminder that mental sensations are reflected from real-life sensations you remember.

For example, think how you can recall that one moment with your favorite food: you can remember how warm it felt, what the texture is like, what layers of flavor it has.

The innerworld works the same too, by reliving or replicating that same detail, projecting it again within the mind's eye.

--

First phase - starting from scratch

For those who hadn't started, the area would look bland or devoid, interpretation can differ greatly for others. Take this moment to think momentarily, and select a theme or vibe you're going for, example: a house if you want to make it the world feel homey / comfortable.

Start from how big you want the floor to be, how tall the walls are, what about the color or pattern? Would you like a plank or a ceramic tile? How much of natural light do you prefer, that can answer how many windows you want to map out later.

Then the furnitures, invoke whatever you want--the perfect fluffy sofa you wish to sleep on, or that huge circular stairway you often see in the movies. Feel them, touch them as if you're currently on it,, things might look foggy at first, which is normal for developing a new item you wish to add.

Tip: laying a groundwork with the 3d interior maker or a sketch (either paper or digitally) can help you plan and visualize better when this first phase is challenging for you to finish mentally from scratch.

Second phase - getting more personal

Now that you've laid the foundation, practice recalling them and remember every crook and cranny of each rooms or paths you have mapped out even more. This will help the ease of visualization whenever you want to access your innerworld, needing minimal strain to immerse fully in your own mind.

Resuming from your previous progress, its time to add your own personal touches (for each alters)! What kind of items or belongings would you want to own? Do you like a specific decor theme? It's best to start with the things you had seen/touched due to the reason explained previously.

When you're confident and had memorized how the main place, try branching off by adding the external background. (E.g. city scenery/forest/mystical). You can even make them as floating islands, there is no bounds to this.

Tip: its best to write out what each alter likes and their preference to personalize their room/area better while also keeping track of any details of the mindscape.

Third phase - room for expansion

This is where you often stumble into uncharted areas in your world, often discovering them without proper visualization. These often get created from qualities / states that you have internalized on the outer world, they can even represent different parts of your own perception (for example, you stumble into a cemetery, where you associate dormant alters resting at) or wellbeing (for example, the weather changes depending on your mood or stress levels). Often times you'll meet interactive elements--or already did so in the earlier phases.

Expanding an area usually means it is built within a different border, separated from your main area and often has a 'transition tunnel' to access the new area. This can be expressed through magical doors, portals, teleportation, or walking. You can also redo phase one and two to expand more areas as you wish, and connect them through a transition tunnel.

As the conclusion, this phase is done through introspection, through deciphering your own well-being. This is because your innerworld is a subconscious reflection of how your mental and emotional state, and vice versa. This can also manifest in ways like designated areas or interactive elements from the world.

Tip: let your mind wander around freely. Your expectation and prediction kills abstract creativity, which your mind is designed for. This can sometimes happen when you least expected it, don't use this as a time to rush, go slow!

3. Ways to access your World

Behind the scenes

Every system processes, including your world, happens in rest mode-- this is because our brains operate through sets of programs/functions that transitions depending on demands.

There are many sets your brain operates in, but for the sake of simplicity i will educate you on the necessary ones:

DMN - activates when relaxing, exploring creativity, or performing low cognitive tasks. You don't process a lot on this state, and usually related with creative thinking moments.

Do you know why you get creative solutions when you're in the shower but not at the heat of the moment? The DMN does just that. Annoying, i know... i wish it came earlier and not when the argument is over.

VAN - activates when exposed to threats, or sudden change of stimuli. This mode is mainly tasked in selective attention, focusing on what is deemed important depending on your values. Operates in fright factors

Suddenly jerked your head to the falling sound of a plastic cup from the other room whilst focusing on your activity? VAN is the culprit, sudden yells or getting your name called also counts.

CEN - activates your directed focus and controls how long you commit to a task. It is responsible for cognitive demanding tasks that requires problem solving or decision making. You are in a state of action or processing, which is the opposite of rest.

Like how time passed without your awareness, or when you ponder less while committing all your attention to that one difficult combo you have to pull of in the game because you can't risk any distractions or disturbances until you absolutely made it to the next level after the 11th try? Now that's a CEN for you.

--

Now that you're all on the same page, time to get into the details:

The only way to access your world is to look inwards -> inwards mean you engage with thoughts and images -> thoughts and images usually pop when you're calm and not distracted -> a calm state is achieved in a safe place or non-busy environments.

So if you ever thought of being busy, or feeling stressed makes talking to your alters more difficult, you're not making that up! That's exactly what your brain modes are doing even if you are never aware of it.

Tips to facilitate better communication & access

Find videos or songs that promotes calmness

Retreating to a less bustling room, silence is your friend

Balance your emotional state to feel more stable

Tune out any distractions if any

Focus to any subtle signs or alter thoughts you've missed

These tips help you connect to your DMN state easier, which will make it easier to retreat to your innerworld or talk to your other parts.

Now it's time to bring you to your world;

(Important. Only do this when you're calm, because the only moment you can do so, is within the DMN. It is not effective nor recommended to attempt this within high stress or busy moments, and for reasons on how frustration and added stress on not being able to retreat mentally blocks your ability even further.)

Start closing your eyes, and recall a specific place you want to be in your world, determine your position, are you sitting or standing somewhere? What are you doing inside there if you can notice? Pour all your attention as your mind creates a mental picture, which brings you to your world.

Designating a real piece of furniture or item you own in the real world and associate it as an item in your mental world would also create an easier short cut to transition between two dimensions, it can be your bed, or a chair, or even a hanged painting.

Im stuck outside for a long time, help!

This phenomenon is when you are stuck within the threat-detecting mode, as your brain thinks the danger has not passed away--and should not waste time or be vulnerable to return to DMN.

When you have been struggling to access or communicate to your alters, think back on what is keeping you anxious, paranoid, or scared, as all these negative emotions keeps you away from a calm state.

Chronic exhaustion or stress also plays a role into this. In conclusion, when you have been stuck for long periods and unable to notice system activities--or happening less often, it's time to dig deeper to the root of cause.

This post right here will help you educate and prepare solutions for your stuck troubles. Here, is another post for all about system communication.

But if you need help from an experienced person, or if the posts are just not cutting it,, you can always DM me to overcome your struggles regarding this situation, im here for you!

Takeaway - What a Tour!

(this post is subjected to tweaks and add-ons in the future)

Here's two questions to end the post: what phase are you at on your world-building progress? When is the usual time your system activity peaks at? Feel free to share your experience or questions in this post, i would love to hear what you have to say and answer any concerns you might have!

I hope this post has been worth reading, this totally took longer than it should be, thanks to @starburstsystem for helping me perfect this post for everyone within this community, give some love to the bro <3

- chrono

--

TLDR SECTION

Inner Worlds: Imaginary mental spaces used by some people, especially those with dissociative disorders, to rejuvenate and meet their alters. They vary greatly in form and function, similar to daydreaming or mental visualization.

Usage: Inner worlds can be used for communication, expressing emotions, and creating a sense of cohesion among alters. They aren't necessary for all systems but can be beneficial for those who have them.

Creating an Inner World:

Starting from Scratch: Visualize basic structures and themes, like a house with specific details (floors, walls, furniture).

Getting More Personal: Add personal touches for each alter, including their preferences and items they would like to have.

Room for Expansion: Explore and expand new areas that represent different aspects of your mental and emotional state.

Accessing the Inner World:

Use techniques like relaxing environments, calming music, and focusing on subtle signs to access the inner world.

Understand brain modes (DMN, VAN, CEN) to know why relaxation is key to accessing inner thoughts.

High stress and exhaustion can block access; addressing these issues can help regain access.

Takeaway: The inner world is a useful tool for some people to communicate and process emotions. It's personalized and can evolve with introspection and creativity.

[cupiohearts]

I WISH YOU LOVE ! - reminiscing with gun.

(cant catch me now series). GUN VER. dg ver. goo ver

they see you everywhere. james, jonggun, joongoo. they find bits and pieces of you lying around in their pockets, their houses and memories. it depends on which one it is which scene they see you in.

for GUN, he cant figure out for the life of anyone why they would wish someone that moved on in life the best of luck. he was a selfish man. when you disappeared from him, he mutters bitterly to himself wishing curses upon your name. the tear drops on the letter you wrote to him being the symbolism behind it all.

why would he want you to do well without him? why did you have to leave him?

did you not care as much as you said you did? he furrows his eyebrow. taking another drag out of his cigarette while he watches the stupid couple on the street pick out matching items for each other.

"jonggun! jonggun! look come here! hurry up!" you hiss at him as you press your face against the glass of a window. it was the pet adoption center. a calico cat taking a nap in the window as you cood at it.

that was the ugliest cat hes ever seen. it's eyes looked a bit too similar to the one you always give him when you want him to do something ridiculous for you.

"its cute" he gruffly says. you raise an eyebrow at him and made a face "youre a big fat liar. when we grow old with joongoo and james! we should all get a cat together!"

you giggle as you wiggled your finger at the cat. your breath fogging up the glass and when you pulled away he could see a slight bit of lipgloss- or lip tint- or whatever you were wearing on your lips that left it all glossy and shimmery left on the window.

he didnt say anything about it. he probably shouldve. you left the window dirty with your makeup. the same lips he imagined himself kissing from to time.

he thinks again. gun is a selfish man. when he read the letter you gave him, he thinks to himself for a far longer period of time than what he would appreciate.

he picks up the small camera you left behind in your apartment. he kept it with him for some reason. it was to keep videos and photos of yourself so he wont forget all of the times hes had with you.

"gun stop! stop! stop- what in the world happened here?!" your voice can be heard from behind the camera. the camera work a bit shaky as you walk closer to the restaurant.

there were a lot of bodies on the floor. a lot. "did you take them all down by yourself?" you ask him. you already knew the answer. he didnt need to respond but he did "yes"

you let out a deep sigh "this was supposed to be a cute video! you just ruined it. i wanted to send my mom and dad videos of me while im still here!"

you never sent it. he almost wished you did. so your parents knew what your friends were in korea. gangsters hanging out with the most.. sane one. sane is a strong word. hed think more like you were the glue.

you held everyone together, but at the same time. you were the one keeping them in the past.

that wasnt what he thought as he read your note though.

while he reading the shaky lines with splotchy text. the tears you left on the paper made it all crumbly and the words were hard to read.

he could only wish you the worst time without him. you better not be happier than you were with him. thats how you made him feel. he felt like the vines growing around the fence around you. his growth was hindered by the boundaries you had. if you werent there, he wouldve probably never grown in the first place, but you were also the reason he couldnt get better.

even as he read the lines 'jongun, you are the one who destroyed me the most.' he felt a small smile come to his face. he really is the most selfish person he knew.

sooooo... im here. I DID THE SECONDPARTY YIPPEE 😋😋 is it messy idk

i havent proof read so im assuming its ok. if its ooc mb brother.

their personalities are hard to capture anyways live laufh love the lookism blondes <3 the hottest in the game frl

[enchantedsword]

okay im going to try and do as many headcanons/ideas i have for this au(now named stone twin au because i cant think of anything else and im bad with being original obviously) most of these are about wukong since hes the one i think about constantly but i guess i have to start somewhere(also i have a few of my headcanons in here that dont just pertain to this au plus a few things from jttw but i didnt feel the need to have them on a separate post), this is mostly just about sunny's(wukong) relationships with others, not everyone but the ones i can think of for now. i also finally figured out how to do read more.

obviously wukong(sunny) would be the more monkey like of the two, hes about a few inches shorter then mk, he's very clingy, loved to cling to pigsys back growing up and still occasionally does especially when not feeling well, also clings to tang and mk and occasionally mei, when the twins were first found he couldnt speak human(he understood it just fine the same way any other toddler would) and while mk couldnt speak monkey he could understand it and played translator until they taught him how to speak human, he still slips into monkey speach when hes really sick or upset/distressed, he prefers it when others play with/style his hair for him(the whole monkey socialization), loves climbing and being in high places and has very high energy when his health isnt acting up, this has caused a few heart attacks

loves both his dads but is closer to tang(we know why even if he himself cant remember) loves to spend time with him learning new things, always begs for stories of tripitaka and what he can of macaque. tang is the one that taught the twins the basics of what was needed for school, and actually does a lot of sunnys lessons himself when hes to sick to go to school, i dont really have a set job in mind for tang yet but i was thinking a historian of some sort that can work from home especially since he has a sick child. its also because of tang that sunny as such a love of reading and learning

with pigsy he's still pretty close, mk being the one closest to him, but hes still loves spending time with him. sunnys not very good at cooking, but he loves clinging to pigsys back and watching while he cooks(as said above its something he never grew out of), pigsy has made sure that sunny can make the foods he actually can eat though. sunny also shares pigsys love of singing and they will have mini concerts when no ones watching.

mk and sunny are very close and slightly co dependent, mk has a lot of anxiety about leaving sunny alone for long periods, sunny has a lot of guilt about this and self blame for mk not having many friends outside of mei and himself, and while hes just as codependent as mk he does make an effort to encourage mk to go out without him. it used to be worse when they were younger, but they both started going to therapy around 10 at sandys suggestion, they still struggle with it but they do have lives and hobbies outside of each other. obviously since sunny doesnt have his memories he cant exactly teach mk how to use the staff and powers, his advice is more of the sibling "well remember when you tried *random thing thats similar to current situation* when we were kids just try that" sunny is the one that eventually pushes mk to try and find an actual teacher at least to teach him to fight properly.

both twins are very talented artists(a canon fact that i just cant get rid of), like i said sunny loves singing and acting/performing but he does have stage fright bad enough to prevent him from doing so outside of his small group of friends/family(this stems from the trauma that always seemed to happen in front of large crowds in jttw poor baby getting affected by everything even if he cant remember). sunny is also the one that gets the better grades of the two despite missing way more school. due to not being able to run off his energy a lot he channels it into his studies and art and writing, he wants to eventually become a professional artist.

mei is obviously just as close to sunny as she is to mk, both of them are chaos and adrenaline junkies, shes his partner in crime when it comes to pranks, she makes sure that he's not alone even on days he doesnt feel well enough to get out bed or hes in the hospital. they both love cute things, and if mei gets a dress she doesnt want she gives them to sunny, especially if its pink(he has a lot of them). she keeps sunny up to date on all the shenanigans that happen while hes in the hospital, including the stuff mk wont say in fear of worrying him.

sandy is the one sunny goes to when he's feeling suffocated and overwhelmed by his familys hovering and overprotectiveness, he finds him to be a very comforting presence and hes a good listener for whatevers bothering him. sunny also likes to help train the therapy cats.

sunny does have a mean streak, especially when its something negative being said about his friends/family, uses his pranks to get back at whoever wronged him, since he's to weak for a physical fight(hes tried once it didnt end badly only because the other person was to shocked to really retaliate sunny did end up breaking the kids nose and his own wrist). the pranks themselves are never cruel or outright harmful just enough to make the person think twice about doing it again

PIF actually manages to figure out who sunny is pretty early on having seen the small family out and about one day, she does assume wukong has reincarnated into a new life, and as much as shes upset with him over what happened with DBK thats still her husbands little brother and one of the ones that help her son, so she leaves them be, looking in from time to time

for DBK he's still got some lingering resentment for being trapped for 500 years. his first thought on seeing sunny is that wukong is just faking and toying with him, his wife does inform him that that is not the case. after that he cant figure out if he's happy about this or not. on one hand he gets to see sunny be the happy carefree person that wukong used to be though he's upset that it's at the cost of his health, but on the other hand he's lost his little brother and never got to make up. sunny does feel oddly drawn to DBK though hes not sure why but he deems him as immediately safe(much to the concern of everyone else)

red son was obviously very young the last time he saw wukong, so he has no idea who sunny really is, after the initial being enemies thing and getting a few good pranks in on him, they actually get a long well, both being sassy and sarcastic enough to keep up with each other(everyone else is happy that sunny has a new friend even if that friend is kinda of an asshole). red son grew up to hearing stories about wukong both good and bad so he does have some complicated feelings about him, that does carry over to sunny once hes told hes wukongs reincarnation and further complicated when it finally comes to light that he is actually a sealed wukong, in the end red son decides that sunny is sunny and still his friend even knowing who he actually his.

the whole macaque situation goes mostly as canon except macaque thinks sunny is just playing around and pretending not to know anything. mk meets macaque the day before sunny is released from the hospital, he follows mk to the hospital to pick him up which is the first time he sees sunny. the fight goes mostly the same but not, in the fact wukong isnt there to fight him and protect mk, but sunny is basically used as a hostage and accused of playing pretend, its sunny being in danger that helps mk get the powers macaque took back. sunny doesnt really know how to feel about the situation at all, hes had a crush on macaque since he was a kid and that same person tried to kill both him and his brother and claims hes someone that hes not. continues to antagonize his friends and claim he's wukong, and a large part of him still does have feelings for macaque even after all that. hes got a lot of complicated feelsing about it but he is still incredibly pissed that macaque tried to kill his brother and tried to use him to do so. macaque is in for a world of hurt when it comes to the eventual pranks. macaque for a while refuses to believe that sunny isnt pretending, since the alternative is accepting the wukong reincarnated and isnt coming back. overall its very complicated and the family disapproves.

as for sunnys powers and memories and immortalies, they are all under different types of seals and of those there are many keeping them all wrapped up tight. like he could unlock one or two powers but his immortalies and memories seals would be uneffected and vice versa. he does unlock 2 powers during the whole spider queen thing that being his strength and his cloud, however he can't use them for very long without exhausting himself. DBK was the first to notice that sunny had powers during their imprisonment with spider queen, he was able to trigger sunny into activating them which got them free. though DBK did get punched for his efforts, sunny broke his wrist again and immediately passed out, DBK getting them the rest of the way out and bringing sunny to his family

[asmutwriter]

The Gangsta's Wife (Part 7)

DESCRIPTION: You decide to give Tommy some big news at the reopening of the Garrison

WORD COUNT: 2721

A/N - I had a dream about Thomas Shelby last night. He was chasing me through a mansion and I had to hide from him. It was very intense. Guess thats what happens when you watch Peaky Blinder highlights before going to sleep

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WARNINGS: swearing, talk of violence, mild threat of violence, pet names (love), drinking, smoking, pregnancy, smoking whilst pregnant (social norm for the time period), Inspector Campbell being himself

DISCLAIMERS

This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

This story does not follow the timeline of the show

Not been proof read

It had been a couple of months since your meeting with Harry Thompson. He kept his word. Leaving Birmingham soon after your blackmail. Since then the Shelby family has been more kind towards you. By that you mean you don't feel like they want to kill you every time you enter a room.

You'd attended a few more family meetings as well. But most issues or problems were being resolved within the main family circle. You were appreciative of attending the discussions though. They were certainly more open towards you. Polly even asking how your day has been - on more then one occasion!

But then Thomas got attacked. Horribly. Brutally. You’re surprised he’s still alive to be honest. So sure that he’d die at the hospital where you sat with him until he gained consciousness. When he did, he told you to 'stop fussing and fuck off'. Glad to know that the attack didn’t change him. You left him to heal.

He went to London for a few days. You weren’t sure why. But he left Polly in charge of all Peaky business. You tried questioning her on why Thomas had left but she only responded with 'its none of your business'. Looking back on it you don’t think she knew.

It was a Tuesday morning. Scrubbing the mud from your sister's dress (she had fallen over right into a puddle) in your kitchen. Opening the back door you go and hang the newly washed dress up on the washing line in the garden. Going back inside the house you shut the door. Turning around to go back to the living room, you jump as you see a figure. Gripping at your chest as your husband stands in the door way. A smile of amusement coming over his face as he realises he made you jump.

"Jesus no need to scare me like that"

"I’m sorry love. Wasn’t my intention". A silence filling the room. You go over to a cabinet. Taking out a whiskey bottle. He grabs out two glasses, placing them down by you. You speak as you pour.

"I’m glad to see you looking better"

"I don’t think I could’ve looked much worse" you chuckle slightly. Putting the lid back onto the drink before sliding his glass to him. Him standing next to you but sideways on as he picks up his drink. You take yours. Turning towards him as you hold your drink in one hand. The other folding over your torso.

"Where did you go?"

"Did Polly not tell you?"

"I know you went to London but that’s all she told me” he nods. Taking a sip of his drink. “I just wondered why?"

"I had some business to attend to regarding Ada"

"Is she ok? I know that she got attacked too"

"She will be. She’s a strong willed woman. Plus I’ve given her a new home and protection for her and her son" you nod. Watching as he downs his drink. "I also had to do some business with Alfie Solomons". You furrow your brow at the name. It ringing a vague bell from when you lived in London

"Runs a Jewish gang correct?" he nods. Turning to face the counter as he places his glass back down on the side. Taking the whiskey bottle and pouring himself another drink.

"Have you met him before?"

"No. I only know the name in passing. Got told to stay away from him as he bad news and couldn’t be trusted". Tommy pauses in his actions. Hand around the glass but still on the counter top as he takes in your words. He goes into his pocket. Taking out a few coins and placing them stacked up on the side near you. You look at the small pile.

"I want you to buy a new dress"

"For what occasion?"

"The grand reopening of the Garrison" you stay silent. Thinking over your words before speaking.

"Mr Shelby... is opening the pub a good idea given the recent events? Would it be best to wait until the current threwat is dealt with before rebuilding?". He sips his drink again.

"I want those to know that the Peaky Blinders can rise from any downfall they have" he turns to face you. Drink still in hand as he points in the direction of the pub. "This is the way that we show those fuckers that it'll take a lot more to take down the Shelby family". He downs his drink. Placing the glass onto the table.

"So I’d like you to go out and buy yourself a new dress for this special occasion" he brings a hand up. Resting it onto your cheek as he meets your eyes. Yours soft as you watch his piercing blue orbs. "Lets show those bastards not to fuck with us, eh?". A soft smile comes over your lips as he drops his hand.

It took about a month to rebuild the Garrison. It was hard work but my goodness it payed off. Tommy had shown you it before anyone else. Before the big reopening he took you to see the grand building. Standing tall and proud.

It was the day of the reopening. You’d done as your husband had asked you to do. Gone out and bought a fancy new dress. So here you were. Sitting at the bar. Cigerette in hand as you watch your husband talking with his guests. You snuff out your smoke in the ashtray nearby before going over to him. Gently resting your hand on his arm. He looks at you. His smile softening in feature as he meets your gaze.

"Can I talk with you? Alone?" he nods. The smile seeming to fade marginally at your request. You take his hand. Leading him to a back room. Shutting the door. He watches you. His eyes filled with a confusion as you take his hand. Leading him to a table. You sit down. Him sitting opposite you.

"What is it love?". You look down. Fiddling with your wedding ring. His hand gently takes your chin. Bringing your head up to meet his eyes "what’s on your mind?"

"I’ve been thinking about it and I-" you cut yourself off. You dart your eyes over his features before asking "Can you teach me how to fight?". The request seeming to shock him. Before he can respond you carry on talking. "I saw what they did to you. I know what they did to your sister. And she lives hundreds of miles away. I’m concerned that myself and my sisters are at risk here. I’m sorry I’ve only just brought it up now but given the current situation I-".

"Hey" he moves his hands. Cupping your face as he makes you look at him "So long as you remain a Shelby then you have the protection of myself and the Peaky Blinders. I know I was gone for a while but you will always be safe. I promise you that"

"I would feel safer if I could fight... rather then relying on you to keep me safe..." his eyes dart between yours. Trying to read your expressions. Before he can say anything else you speak again. Quieter this time. Voice barely above a whisper. "I’d like to be able to keep the baby safe...". He stays silent. His eyes flashing with emotions. So quick you can’t read them. Them darting downwards to look at your stomach before coming back up to your features. Mere seconds feel like hours as silence consumes you. You bring your hands up. Holding his wrists as he continues to hold your face. "Please say something".

"It is my duty as your husband to keep you and our child safe. So long as I live I will ensure that. If you wish to learn to fight after our child is born then I will teach you. But you won’t learn whilst you are carrying my babe". He leans forward. Kissing your forehead. You shut your eyes. Nodding as you feel him watch you again. "You are safe Mrs Shelby. I promise". You open your eyes as you feel him stand. Looking up at him as he drops your face. Taking your hands with his. Pulling you up. "Shall we go and tell everyone else the news about the new family member?" he smiles. You nod. Taking his arm as he leads you back out into the crowd.

You wait for the other guests of the party to leave before informing your in-laws. Your sisters are the first to hug you. Wrapping your arms around them both. Tommy's siblings congratulate him first. Ada coming over to you and hugging you too. After your sisters finally let you go. Her giving you affection isn’t shocking. What does surprise you is when Arthur hugs you.

"Well done girl" he says. Genuine joy and happiness in his voice as he hugs you close. You smile at his affection. More due to the symbolism of them accepting you as a family member rather then the hug itself. He moves away. Seeing John Boy practicly hitting Thomas's shoulder as he congratulates him. Your youngest sister takes your arm in hers.

"You know, Mary is a very good name" you roll your eyes

"You can’t suggest your own name” Luz says. Turning her attention from the youngest sibling back up at you “But, on the topic of names, Elizabeth is a very good name" Causing you to laugh.

"You two are as bad as each other" you say. A smile on your face as you contiue to talk with them. You meet Polly's gaze. Cigarette in her hand as what appears to be sadness glazes over her eyes. She nods slightly at you. You give a soft smile and a nod in return before your sisters drag you back to their conversation.

The time flew by. You were around 5 months pregnant. At a small party that was hosted by one of Tommy's aquaintences up in London. You knew your purpose for this party. An accessory to make your husband look good. To make him look approachable. So you stuck by his side the whole party. Your arm linked with his as people came and chatted with you both.

That’s when you noticed a shift in his demeanor. His friendly persona he had on changing. Feeling his arm tense under yours. Although you were getting better at figuring out your husbands thoughts and feelings you still found him incredibly difficult to read. You look at him. Following his gaze. It falling onto a middle aged gentlemen with a cane. You look back at him. You may struggle to figure out what’s going through his head. But you knew that he must know this man.

"Mr Shelby? Is everything ok?"

"We should be going Flo" he turns his back to the man. Forcing you to turn with him as your arm remains on his.

"Who is that man?" you whisper.

"Someone who I reluctantly do business with. Who I'd much rather put a bullet between his eyes then engage in small talk". You look at your husband. Mild shock filling you. He rarely uses violent language around you. He swears a lot but he never talks about violence or commiting violent acts towards people whilst in your prescence. Not even in a joking manner. So for this to be said you know he must be quite a character.

"Lets leave then. If you’ve finished all the other busniness you need for the day" before either of you can make a decision you hear an Irish voice speak.

"Thomas Shelby". Turning to face the man. Him having walked over to you both. You follow suit. Standing slightly behind your husband. Arm interlocked with his as you feel his body tense mildly. "I'll be damned to see you here. You’re a long way from Birmingham aren’t you?"

"I could say the same about you" the man smiles. His eyes falling to you. Raking over your body.

"And who is this pretty thing you’ve got with you?". Thomas clenches his jaw slightly. Watching the man as you cling to him more.

"Inspector Campbell this is Florence Shelby. My wife" he holds a hand out towards you. You take it. Shaking it as a way to deem polite.

"Its a pleasure to meet you ma'am” his eyes fall to your stomach before meeting your eyes again “I can see that a congratulations are in order. What with the marriage and the pregnancy" he motions towards your belly. You half smile.

"Thank you Mr Campblell. We really shou-"

"I never pictured you as the marriage type though Mr Shelby. Not with your reputation"

"Time changes people" he says. Eyes boring into the man. You could feel the testestorone start to build. Turning slightly to your husband. Your hands tightening around his arm.

"I need some air. Come join me" he drops his death glare off of the man. The stare softening as they meet your calming eyes. He nods. Excusing yourselves from the man as you head outside. You sit on a small bench. Hand resting on your stomach as you shut your eyes.

Hearing the soft strike of a match you open your eyes. Tommy lighting a cigarette. Resting it on his lips. You hold your hand out. Him taking a puff from it before placing it in your hand. Watching as you inhale the smoke. Resting your hand on your knee as you exhale. Looking back at the room where the party is.

"Do we have to stay for much longer? Im growing tired"

"We'll stay for a little bit longer. It’s not ideal the detective being here’s but I still have some business left to do” you hold your hand up. Letting him take the smoke from you as he takes a drag from it before speaking again. "If you’re tired then stay out here. You’ve done more then your far share today. You should rest for a little while" you nod. Half smiling at him

"I'll come back inside in a bit. Just want to have some fresh air" he nods. Gently squeezing your shoulder before handing you the cigar. Heading back inside as you take a few more puffs. Placing the butt on the ground. Snuffing it out with your shoe. You watch as you see the crowds of people inside. Spotting your husband talking with someone. The main person you know he wants to make a deal with.

You go to stand up. Wanting to go and help make a good impression. Struggling slightly as you push yourself up. "You ok there Mrs Shelby?" you hear a familiar voice say. Turning you see the inspector. You nod, a soft but half genuine smile on your face

"I’m fine Mr Campbell. If you excuse me I need to go find my husband" turning away you hear him speak.

"You know" he comes over to you. "I can help you". You talk as you turn to face him again.

"Excuse me?". A few more steps. Any closer and he’d be touching you.

"A young, pretty woman such as yourself being dragged into the world of Thomas Shelby. I can’t believe that it was due to your love or affections for him" you go to say something but he cuts you off "I know what your going to say. That you love him and that he cares for you. But I know the truth. That he somehow pulled you into his world of fighting and gangs and you can’t get out” another step closer as his voice darkens “I can give you a way out. Let me help you" he brings a hand up. Going to stroke your cheek. You step back. Shocked by his forward tone. Your hand going to your stomach as a form of protection to your unborn child.

"You know nothing about me or my husband and the life that we have together. We trust each other wholeheartedly and I would never do anything to get rid of that"

"He'll never love you. You do know that, right? You might think he does. Or that he will. That you can change him. But you can’t. You will always be just an object for him to manipulate to his own advantage".

"And what? You think you could give me a different life?" You keep your eyes steady and fixed on his. His eyes remaining on yours as you keep your ground.

"I could give you the affection and love he isn’t capable of showing you. Care for you in a way that a man like him won’t"

You take a step towards him. Anger flashing through your eyes as you spit your words at him. "I am going to go back to my husband. The man who’s child I am carrying. I will be leaving with him back to our home. To our shared bed. Do you understand me Mr Campbell?" He watches you. Nodding. "Good. Goodnight" you turn. Walking back to your husband as he continues to chat with his soon to be new business partner. Linking an arm with him as he introduces you as his wife.

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