#Why is it always 9 chapters?

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Complications and Solutions: Chapter 8

Summary: Something is distressing Jake and the ripples are being felt through the system. Can Layla figure it out or will she be doomed to fight with him forever? Can Jake learn to trust her?

Pairings: Marc x Layla. Steven x Layla. Jake x Layla.

Warnings: Lots of food (they eat breakfast), trauma talk, trauma memories, child abuse talk, emotions, some dissocaiton and potential DID system switch triggering problems.

Word Count: 5782

Previous Chapter: HERE

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Sleep was the only time Layla could not truly tell one from the other. 

But only when the sleep was sound. 

Marc was prone to night terrors. He would toss and turn, fists clenching and thrashing as he fought off things from his past. He would sit up gasping with arms raised in defense as he stared into the darkness. 

The first time he had done this, it had terrified Layla. She had asked him what was wrong and he had simply shaken his head and gotten up to wash his face and clear his mind. 

Only now did she really understand why it happened. When it did, she would let him walk it off till he was calm. If it was a bad one, Steven would be the one that returned to bed, curling up in her arms for comfort. If Marc could shake it off, he would slip back into bed and soundlessly wrap his arms around Layla and nuzzle into her hair as he reminded himself where and when he was. 

Sometimes Steven would wake up from a dead sleep and sit bolt upright, looking around in confusion. He’d grasp a hand over his heart and give a small laugh as he fought off the bad dreams. He would often flop back down and find Layla’s hand under the blankets, slowly tracing his fingers over hers until he felt calm and grounded. 

Sometimes Steven would just get up and go to his desk as insomnia set in and he would work through the night. Come morning she often found him with his head on a book and a pen limp in his hand. Occasionally Marc would take over and force their tired body to climb back into bed with a grumble. 

She was growing used to their sleep habits. She had theories about Steven’s reluctance to sleep. He had been in a state of sleep for so long that it was possibly his own way of clinging to control. 

What she was not prepared for was the first time she woke up to crying. 

It was soft, little gasps and whimpers. The form next to her shuddered and trembled as he tossed back and forth. 

Sitting up she could see the tears streaming down his cheeks, his mouth pulled down into a painful frown as emotions rolled over the sleeping face. 

Should she wake him? Who was the one dreaming? 

Gingerly she reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. “Hey… Love? It’s just a dream.” 

She shook lightly and he took in a deep gasping breath as he flinched awake. 

Eyes blinked in confusion in the darkness then looked up at her, slowly focusing in on her worried face. 

“You alright?” She gave a small reassuring smile. “It’s okay. I’m here.” 

The eyes blinked hard and her heart sank. “Jake?” 

He brought up a trembling hand and wiped the tears from his face. A deep sigh escaped him and he rolled over onto his back. There was a flinch and Steven let out a tired and confused mumble. “Wazzwrong? What’s going on?” 

Steven sat up and looked down at his wet hand then over at Layla. “Oh wow. I feel terrible. Hold on…” He sat still for a moment, hands clutching at the sheets as he focused on his breathing. 

Layla waited. She had learned long ago not to bother Marc when he woke from these dreams. He often flinched or stumbled away, not quite in the present. 

Steven shuddered and wiped more tears from his face. “Wow. That’s a bad one.” He looked back at Layla and gave a small smile. “Sorry. Sometimes emotions carry over. We don’t know what caused it or where it’s coming from, but we can get overwhelmed by it if it’s strong.” 

Layla held out her hand and Steven took it gladly, squeezing it before moving to snuggle into her. He curled up tightly, burying himself into her like a small child seeking comfort and she wrapped her arms around him tightly. 

“It looked like Jake was having a bad dream.” She stroked his back gently and he slowly relaxed. 

“Was it Jake?” Steven looked up at her. “I thought it was Marc for a moment. I’ve never felt anything from Jake before.” 

“Yeah. Pretty sure. At least, he’s the one that woke up first.” She brushed his hair back out of his face. 

Steven thought about it for a moment. “Marc’s still out. Has to have been Jake. It… It felt so sad. Just… Grief. I think it was grief.”

“Is he okay?” She pulled him closer. 

Steven was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know. He won’t talk to me. He just keeps pulling away. Communication with him is harder than it is with Marc. I can’t really talk to him unless he’s willing. He just wants me to leave him alone right now.” 

“Don’t force it.” She sighed and kissed the top of his head. “Bad dreams are hard sometimes.” 

Steven nodded. “I wish he’d talk to me. I could help. When Marc gets overwhelmed he lets me know.” 

“How long did it take Marc to actually trust enough to tell you, though?” Layla smiled. 

Steven grumbled. “How old are we?”

“Hmm. Jake isn’t used to needing help… Or having help there when he needs it.” She stroked down his back softly. 

“I’d really rather not have to wait another lifetime to get him to trust me, though…” Steven made a frustrated sound and finally rolled over and sat up. 

“Hopefully he isn’t as stubborn as Marc is.” She sighed and sat up with him. 

Steven gave her a very worried look. “I’m not putting up with that again. I’m going to find a way to get him to talk to me. He isn’t going to like this. Marc isn’t going to like this. None of us are going to like this.” He put his face in his hands for a moment then got up. “Go back to bed, Love. I need to wash my face. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep again for a bit.” 

Layla watched him head to the bathroom then looked at her watch. It was just past three. 

She flopped back and stared at the light under the door to the bathroom. 

She kept seeing the look on Jake’s face as he first looked up at her. Was it just a bad dream brought out by stress and fears? Or was it a memory of a feeling from his past? Something hidden from the other two that had somehow worked its way into his dreamscape and caused him unexpected harm? 

She could hear talking from the bathroom and wondered if Marc was awake. She doubted that Jake was about to show himself any time soon after that. 

The door opened and Steven wandered out looking refreshed and determined. He sat at the desk and pulled out some paper. He started to write with full concentration, sometimes scratching out things and sometimes tossing the paper into the trash and starting over. 

She knew that once he got started there was no stopping him. Curling back up under the blankets Layla let herself drift back into sleep. 

When morning came, she found Steven passed out at his desk. 

She got up and moved to wrap a blanket over his shoulders and pull the pen from his hand before he covered himself in ink again. 

She couldn’t help but glance at the paper as she set the pen down. The paper was covered in notes all addressed to Jake. It looked like Steven was trying to come up with the best way to talk to him. 

“Oh Steven…” She kissed his temple and moved to start breakfast. 

She was partway into buttering some toast when there was a thump at the desk then a crack as a hunched spine popped and straightened. 

“Buddy, you have got to stop doing this. Our back can’t handle it.” Marc grumbled and limped out to the kitchen. “Hey.” 

“Morning.” She grinned and slid a plate of toast across the table to him. “Want any eggs?” 

He looked down at the toast then picked up a piece and took a big bite, eyebrow raised in a ‘look, I’m eating’ expression. 

“Sure. Over easy.” He had talked to Layla a bit after the last incident. Admitting that perhaps he didn’t have the healthiest of habits and he promised to at least talk to Steven if he was feeling like things were falling out of his control. 

She smiled and moved to start some eggs. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like Steven forgot we have a spine.” He cracked his neck. 

“Did Steven talk to you about what happened last night?” She popped in more toast for herself and stared down at the eggs, watching them fry up. 

Marc was quiet as he chewed on his toast. At last he shrugged. “A little. Said there were some bad dreams. I have bad dreams all the time. Kinda figured it was normal at this point.” 

She sighed and flipped the eggs. “Maybe Jake isn’t used to them. He isn’t used to taking the front a lot. Maybe it’s affecting him. I wish he’d stick around a bit more. Learn to talk to me even just a little.” 

Marc stared down at his toast. The look on his face suggested that he was looking inward and in a deep conversation. His face pulled down into a frown and he looked up at Layla. 

“Uh…I was thinking…” He cleared his throat and shifted. Something was bothering him. “Steven seems to have this crazy idea that… Jake is avoiding you because… Look, he… Jake doesn’t talk to me. When he takes over he just sort of shoves me out and I often have little memory of what goes on when he’s out. Steven has been working on opening up the communication line between himself and Jake and he tells me that Jake… Well he doesn’t see you as a threat anymore.” 

She turned to stare at Marc, spatula in hand. He stared up at her, eyebrows raised as if he had just laid it all out in front of her and was waiting for her to pick it up and run with it. 

“I’m….Glad?” She picked up the pan and plopped the egg down on his plate. “I suppose I don’t see Jake as a total jackass anymore either.” She smirked to herself and moved to push the hot sauce closer to Marc. 

Marc laughed and grinned. “Not a total one. I’d like it if he stopped freaking out at me any time I do anything. Went from radio silence for our whole lives to now any time I go out without a jacket on he starts yelling at me.” 

Layla mulled it over then moved to get her own meal, sitting down next to him. “Jake has been working hard behind the curtain to keep you safe from all the big shit for so long. Now that the big stuff is behind you, he’s not sure what to do. Gun fights aren’t the same as catching a cold, but in his books, it’s still a problem. Jake might have a hard time figuring out how to handle the smaller things.”

 Marc shrugged. “That’s what Steven is for.” 

Layla glanced up at him. “Steven forgets how to sleep, misplaces his keys, wanders into the rain without a coat on, and eats a lot of sugar.” 

Marc winced and went back to eating. “You don’t like eggs. I want to finish the eggs.” He muttered to Steven as he made an egg sandwich with the leftover toast and bit into it. “You can argue with her about your sugar intake later.” 

Layla smiled and leaned in to kiss Marc on the cheek. “Good morning, Steven.” 

Steven’s face brightened as he pushed through, happily leaning into the kiss. His face instantly changed to one of disgust as he realized he had a mouth full of egg and toast. He was gone in a flash and Marc winced as he was tossed back out to finish the meal. 

He sighed and looked over at Layla grumpily. “I’d love it if both of you didn’t do that.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn't think he'd pop out. Does it hurt?” She gave him a worried look. “Sometimes it looks so seamless and sometimes it looks like you’re in pain.” 

Marc finished his breakfast then got up to make some coffee. “Steven and I can hand off easy as pie when we’re having a good day. Talking and planning for it. It isn’t always a plan and sometimes we just slide in and out without any rhyme or reason. No problem there, just sometimes it can be annoying. Especially if one of us wants to be present and we can’t hold it. If we try to force it it can lead to a lot of confusion and headaches.” 

“What about when Jake takes over?” She watched him pour the coffee. His hand was shaking ever so slightly. Something she had noticed from him now and then even from the beginning. 

It was odd how before she had just accepted everything as being part of Marc. Now that she knew that there was more, she was starting to notice everything she had missed. 

Marc stared at his coffee cup for a moment. “You know when you walk into a room and you forget why you’re there? You just kind of stand there trying to remember?” 

She nodded. “It just disappears and I just have to hope that I remember or that it wasn’t important.” 

“It’s a lot like that. When he just takes over, I have no memory of what he does. I just wake up in strange places or with a vague sense that things happened and time has passed and I hope everything is alright.” He sighed. “Sometimes I can feel him there. I start to lose connection to what’s going on around me and I feel myself slide away. It’s never like that with Steven. With Steven I always know when he is and isn’t there. I don’t always know what he’s doing or what’s happening, but he keeps me informed if I ask. Right now, Steven is right behind me. He’s always got running commentary or opinions. Sometimes he’s quiet. Not often.” 

She tried to imagine what it was like to always hear someone in the back of her head or always feel someone there. It didn’t seem like something she’d find very comforting. 

“If you could take it all away, would you?” She looked down, instantly ashamed. “I’m sorry. That was an insensitive question.” 

Marc shrugged and grimaced. “Not something I haven’t thought about before many many times.” He shrugged again as if trying to assure himself that it didn’t matter. An act she noticed he did when it mattered a lot to him but he didn’t want anyone else to know. “I could never be without Steven. Even when we fight. This is how we are and there’s nothing I can do about it and Steven tells me that we are like this because it was the best way we could come up with to protect ourselves. Sometimes I just need a reminder…” 

Marc looked away, sipping his coffee. “I wish I could talk to Jake more. I really resented him at first. Didn’t think I needed him. I said some pretty bad things to him. Steven and I have been talking and… He has some good points.” 

Layla moved to Marc and gently held out her hand, letting him place his hand in hers. He wove his fingers with hers and patted it with his other hand. 

He squeezed her hand and she felt the tremmer there. A sign of insecurity. Of vulnerability. Things Marc was not used to being open about. 

He looked down at their hands. “He must hate me. Everything I do and put him through. Do you think that’s why he won’t talk to me? Why he is starting to have bad dreams?” 

She squeezed his hand tightly and moved to get his attention, looking him in the eye. “You watched over Steven all these years. You didn’t interfere and you made sure he stayed happy. Why did you protect him?” 

Marc didn’t say it but she could see it. Marc loved Steven and would do anything to keep him safe and content. 

“Jake has been watching you all this time too. Keeping you all safe. He certainly doesn’t do it because he hates you.” She lifted his hand and kissed it softly. “I think he does care about you.” 

Marc frowned. It was hard for him to hear that he was cared about. In his view of the world, everyone hated him and he had done nothing to earn anyone’s love or trust. When faced with the idea that someone did care about him, he often pulled away. 

She clung to his hand, holding him tightly in place. “It is possible to love someone and be unable to say it. Or even recognize it.” 

Marc nodded, though she wasn’t sure if he was agreeing with her or simply acknowledging her. 

He gave a slow blink and she recognized the dazed look. A look that often followed many of their more intense fights or conversations. She wondered how often back then Marc had wanted nothing more than to step back and let someone else handle the situation, but had been forced to stay because he had not wanted her to know about Steven. 

“Hey?” She patted his hand again and tried to get his attention. “Are you alright?” 

Marc gave her a dazed look and she suddenly wasn’t sure if she was talking to Steven or Marc. 

“Sorry.” His accent blended and he nearly slurred the word. “Feeling really mixed up right now.” 

He blinked again then looked around, trying to get his bearings. She had never seen him do this before. Or had she? 

Marc, or perhaps Steven, rubbed his eyes. “Hell. We’re going to have a real headache later.” 

A memory came back to Layla and she recalled Marc coming home late one night. She had thought he was drunk as he stumbled a bit and slurred his words. When she had tried to talk to him he had stared at her like he didn’t know who she was. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” She lay a hand on his shoulder and rubbed gently. 

They shook their head. “Just need a minute. Oh I don’t like this. I really don’t like this! Hold on.” He pulled away from her and started to pace the living room. “Oye… Hermanos…. Just let me do this.” 

Layla blinked as she heard the spanish. 

Their face turned from one of confusion to one that looked utterly exhausted. 

Jake’s posture took over and he stumbled to the couch and sat down heavily. “I don’t want to be here.” He flopped over and lay on his back, his arms over his face. “Fuck.” 

Layla hesitated then slowly walked over to the couch and knelt down next to it. “Hey….” 

He glanced over at her, made a face of utter annoyance then covered his eyes with his arm. “Lo siento. I messed us up pretty badly, I think. Marc is dissociating heavily and Steven is having trouble taking front. They got blended.” 

“I don’t understand.” Layla tried to give Jake his space, sitting down on the floor fully. 

“Sometimes you don’t know who you are.” Jake tapped his fingers on his arms heavily. Another thing she had seen what she thought was Marc do late at night. Another clue she had missed. “Both of them were fronting at the same time and weren’t sure who they were. It’s not a good feeling. Especially for Steven. It’s new to him and he hates it. It.. It used to happen to Marc and I a lot when we were younger. He doesn’t remember.” 

“How is that your fault?” She hugged her knees to her chest and watched him as he tapped his fingers. 

“I didn’t pull Marc when I should have. He wanted to stay even though I knew he was struggling.” Jake gave a heavy sigh. “He did want to talk to you. He just isn’t ready to face those emotions yet.” 

“We were talking about you.” Layla eyed him. “Were you listening?” 

“Ever been in a crowded room and heard someone say your name? Draws your attention pretty quickly, doesn’t it? Doesn’t matter how loud the room is, you can’t help but hear what they are saying.” Jake muttered. 

“Sorry. I didn’t think you were listening.” She pulled her hair back in a nervous gesture. “So you know that Marc wants to start opening up communication with you.” 

Jake muttered something then turned his head to look at her. “Maybe he should try listening.” 

She frowned. “He also said you were avoiding me.” 

He looked at her, slowly taking her in. He at last looked away and she just knew that he was trying to give Steven the floor. 

“Alright.” She caught the relaxed posture and accent as Steven looked over at her with a big smile then he frowned. “Nope. Sorry.” He slipped away and Jake was back. “Fuck!” 

“I can go if you like.” Layla moved to get up. “Do you want some time to get sorted?” 

He wanted to say yes. She could see every part of him wanted to tell her to go. Yet… Something crossed his face and he shook his head. “No. This is about as sorted as we’re going to get right now.” 

“We don’t have to talk. I can put on a show or music or something. Or you can sit here and I can do some dishes.” She glanced over at the kitchen. 

Jake shifted on the couch and made room for her silently. She took the invitation and sat down, leaving plenty of space between them. 

“I had a bad dream.” He leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees as he looked down at the floor. “Rare for me. A bad memory, really. When I realized that I wasn’t….That we weren’t normal. I thought I was Marc for a long time. I was aware of things being different but I didn’t understand. I didn’t know who I was. It took me a while to be aware that I was someone else. Then I accidentally met Steven. He won’t remember it. He remembers very little of those early days.” 

Layla looked down at his hands as his fingers tapped against each other, trembling ever so slightly. She wanted to take those hands and hold them. To squeeze them like how Marc liked. To slide her fingers between his the way Steven liked. 

The corner of Jake’s lips twitched up slightly and he almost smiled. “Steven got a glimpse of me. Maybe he saw me or felt me. He said hello the way he does. A stupid little wave and big smile. He asked if I wanted to play with him. He had so few friends… We all had so few friends… We were so alone. I wanted to be his friend and then…” 

“Is that when you knew?” She imagined them so small. She had seen a picture Marc had shown her once. Something old he had gotten in the mail from his father when they got married. Marc had tried to throw it away but she had stopped him and kept it. 

He had been such a small child, delicate looking and hardly looking his age. His eyes had been large and the smile had been forced. She wondered who was in the picture. It certainly wasn’t Steven, but the smile was far from Marc’s usual grimace. 

“I knew I was someone else and so was Steven and so was Marc. I knew that Marc didn’t know about me and that Steven didn’t know about either of us. We shared a body and life but we were alone.” Jake shrugged. “It was just a stupid memory to come up at a stupid time. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

“You're Not alone anymore.” Layla shifted to get a better look at him. “Jake, you’ve been taking care of them for so long without anyone knowing you. Maybe that’s what you think you want. Maybe you don’t want anyone to know you and you liked being in the background… But that sounds lonely to me.” 

“It was easier.” Jake clenched his fists. “No one expected anything from me. I couldn’t let them down. We didn’t fight. No one yelled or fought back. We just existed.” 

“No one talked to you. Thanked you. Asked if you needed help. Cared for you. Loved you.” She lightly leaned in and at last caught his attention, looking up into those dark eyes. 

His hands clenched till they were shaking. She could see his jaw muscles flexing as he clenched them tightly. He looked anywhere but at her. 

“They want to know you. You love them, don’t you? I can see it in everything you do for them. You’ve loved them for a long time. I don’t think you have to be afraid of them not loving you. I think they already want to love you, if you’ll let them.” She offered him a kind smile. 

Jake let out a shaky breath and a large tear slipped down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away and turned away so she could not see the tears welling up in his eyes. 

She placed a hand on his lightly, afraid that he might pull away. She didn’t know if he needed space or if perhaps too much space was the problem. 

His hand opened and slowly slid into hers. She inched closer and delicately draped her other arm around his shoulder. 

Jake moved and he was suddenly leaning into her, both his hands clutching at hers tightly as he slowly curled up against her till his head was resting on her shoulder. 

Another shaky breath left him. She stroked over his fingers and shifted to let him get closer. His tears were silent and she could feel him fighting to contain his emotions with each forced slow breath. 

She thought back to all the times Marc had teetered on the edge. The times when he started fights on purpose. When he flinched with every raised voice. How he would look at her, both desperate for something and also determined to push her away. 

Now here was Jake, reaching. He had always been reaching. Since that little boy had smiled and waved, asking if he wanted to play. 

Jake took a slow breath. “In the thick of it… She would tell us she did it because she loved us. Love was painful. Then she would tell us that we would never be loved. She was the only person in the whole world that could love us, and her love was toxic. When you married Marc, I thought he did it to punish himself. Considering who you were and what he did… I thought he expected you to hate him and leave. You didn’t.” 

“No. I didn’t.” She squeezed his hand gently. 

“Then he left and I thought you would hate him. It was good he left. He would find a way to make you hate him. To make you blow up at him. You kept calling. You searched for him. You tracked him down.” 

“I did. I needed to find him. To know he was alright.” 

He took another slow breath. “Then you found out about our problem. I thought this was it. You would leave. You wouldn’t know how to deal with someone so broken. You’d think we were crazy or too much.” 

“Jake…” She wanted to tell him that of course she stayed. She wanted to tell him how much she fell in love with Steven and still loved Marc. 

He squeezed her hand and shook his head before she could start. 

“Your persistence scares me. Your love scares me. Scares Marc, too. He doesn’t think he deserves it most of the time and is always waiting for that moment when you might realize it was all a mistake.” He closed his eyes and she could see the tension clinging to him. 

“And you?” She asked quietly, afraid to startle him away somehow. “What are you afraid of?” 

Another tear rolled down his cheek and followed his jawline till it splattered on her shoulder. “If she had screamed it or said it with hate or while beating us, maybe it would have been easy to forget. She would pull us close while we lay bleeding and crying on the floor and hold us. She would tell us that she loved us with every fiber of her being. That she did it because she loved us. How sorry she was that she did it. And she would…” He clenched his eyes closed and flinched hard. He was fighting the pain, the memories, and the trauma response to fall away from it. “She tended to the wounds sometimes. Kissed them and made us cookies or hot chocolate. Sometimes she was the best mom in the world after being the worst.” 

Layla felt rage towards this woman she had never met but that had ruined and taken so much. She wanted to go back in time and find that little broken boy and protect him. To wrap him up in her arms and never let go. 

She moved and wrapped her arms around Jake tightly, pulling him close. “That wasn’t love, Jake. That was evil. It was cruel and if she wasn’t dead I’d… Well it wouldn’t be pretty. You deserved better. You deserve a love that isn’t conditional on your pain. You deserve someone to be with you no matter what and to always tell you how much you matter. You deserve someone to protect you and let you feel safe.” 

Jake made a small sound and she realized that she had been clinging to him so tightly that she had squished him into her chest. She released him with an apology and blush. 

He relaxed but did not pull away. “I can’t ask you to love me and I can’t promise that I’ll love you. I’m not sure I can handle that or trust it. I can trust you with them. I think I have that much figured out. Steven doesn’t understand that part of the trauma and I hope he never does. Marc only hates himself and doesn’t remember the poison she told us. I plan to keep it that way. But I can’t handle hearing it. I can’t hear promises that I can’t believe. Words that make me remember every impact and gash she left behind.” 

Layla nodded, tears running down her own cheeks. “Can we be friends?” 

Jake made another sound, his hands working into her shirt and clinging tightly and he curled in on himself and her, his breath shaking as silent sobs left him. He somehow managed to nod, glancing up at her once as he swallowed hard and tried to get words out. 

“You aren’t alone.” She stroked his back and pushed his hair out of his face. “You never have to be alone again.” 

She held him for some time, letting him cling to her as tears streamed down his face. Eventually the tears stopped and he lay in her lap, his breathing deep and even. 

“I’m alright.” He mumbled softly. “It’s okay now.” 

She glanced down at him and realized he was speaking to one of the others. 

“Hmn.” He looked up at her then nodded. “Steven wants to check on things. I think he felt the distress. I think he’s got a hold of things now.” 

Layla nodded. “Thank you… For talking to me. I’m here if you ever need to tell someone what you went through… I know you can’t tell them sometimes so you can keep them safe.” 

Jake thought about it a moment then nodded. “Thank you, Layla… I… I think you will make a good friend.” 

She smiled and brushed his hair back. His face cleared and Steven blinked up at her. 

“Wow… Every time I wake up I feel like the body was just hit by a truck. What on earth is going on out here?” He slowly sat up and rubbed at his red eyes. “Have we been crying? Oh! Layla you’ve been crying too!” 

“Good tears.” She laughed and took his hand. “Good tears, Steven. I promise.” 

He looked at her hand skeptically for a moment. “Is everything okay? Really? I felt Jake in so much distress but I couldn’t do anything about it.” 

Layla kissed his hand and held it tightly. “Jake and I talked a lot. He told me about his past. Things he can’t tell you.” 

Steven nodded reluctantly. “Because of the trauma… I wish he would tell me. I deserve to know what happened.” 

“Not this. Not just yet, anyways. I think it would hurt him more than it would hurt you.Telling me was hard enough on him.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “But he wants to talk to you both more. He’s tired of being alone.” 

Steven brightened a bit at that. “What about you? Are you two still… You know, grumpy?” 

Layla laughed. “I think he and I are going to be good friends. Who else am I going to gossip to when my husband and boyfriend are being difficult or sassy?” She kissed his cheek. “Or amazing.” 

Steven grinned. “I think I’ll feel better about letting him out alone around you more. I hated when you two fought.” 

She smirked. “He’s still got a lot of attitude. But no one is sassier than you, Steven. I think that just runs in your system. We should call you the sassy system.” 

“Uh, No.” Marc cut in quickly. “Not happening. Don’t give either of them ideas.” 

Layla wrapped her arms around Marc and kissed him softly. “I love you.” 

Marc blinked then smiled and kissed her back. “I love you, too.” 

She moved to lean into him fully, letting out a deep breath as she relaxed. “I love you I love you I love you.” 

“One for each of us?” Marc looked down at her curiously. 

“All for you. When I see Steven again, he will have his own. When I see Jake again, I will love him in our own way. But for you, Marc Spector… I love you.” 

[volivolition]

DAY 4: DRAMA - Put on your prettiest face for the masses!

gonna start adding silly captions actually. [POINTS ACCUSINGLY] MELTY FUCK (AFFECTIONATE)!!

[ontosgold]

hi! first off i wanted to say that i love your art so much its so so pretty and secondly i was wondering, since youre like the ceo of ryomina, if you had any good ryomina fanfic recommendations ? :>

THANK YOU :D !! and hehe thank u for giving me the chance to ramble abt the two ryomina fics that have been consuming my brain lately (that are both written by my lovely fellow ryomina ceos <3)

first off !! the twilight wants him back by @chatlote

it's a canon divergent fix-it fic that takes place from november onwards featuring sees ryoji :> I think my favourite thing abt this fic is the way lina characterises both ryoji and makoto, like I genuinely adore how she writes them in this fic. both of their inner worlds feel so rich and detailed and i adore how the pov switches give us a look into makoto and ryoji's different outlooks !! seeing makoto and ryoji's different perspectives on the same events is so interesting and it adds so much depth of their interactions. it's been such a joy so far to watch those two slowly get to know each other while also exploring how makoto's dealing with everything he's experienced up until then (the way she shows how makoto's been dealing with loss is so. augh <3) and I'm so excited to see where this fic is headed ^_^ every update has me kicking my feet in excitement hehe

and then there's persephone's curse by @sweet-sirin

this fic took me on such an emotional rollercoaster that it hasn't stopped rolling around in my brain since I read it. it takes place post canon and if u know abt persephone than u can probably take a guess as to where this fic is going. I don't wanna say too much bcs I think this fic is best experienced knowing as little abt it as possible but its just a beautiful exploration of ryoji and makoto's characters and just how stubborn they can be in their own ways, especially ryoji. there's so many scenes in this fic that are just stuck in my brain. it felt like every single scene and every piece of dialogue has some sort of underlying/second meaning and it was a ride unpacking everything as I was reading. everything feels so purposeful and meaningful its just so. augh. it emotionally destroyed me and I don't think I'll ever recover <3 it'll live in a special corner of my brain forever

Also !! I haven't really gone down the ryomina fic rabbit hole myself yet so if you or anyone reading has some fic recs of their own please send them my way !! 🙏🙏

[arialityy]

Honkai writers try not to make every important piece of information sound extremely vague and convoluted challenge: Impossible

[jayyydez]

600 words added to my Wicked Game planning doc and you should all be worried lol

It's gonna take me at least two years and probably more to get there, given my current posting speed, but BE WORRIED

[imwritesometimes]

me: this is too much exposition. you should not directly tell all the time. let dialogue and tone/body language descriptions do some of the work

also me: this isn't exposition it's literally the second paragraph of chapter one you're setting up the plot you gotta drop a little exposition

also also me:

[bronzetomatoes]

My 2 literature classes w assigned readings looking at me as I pick up a random 400 page novel for no reason

[kvroii]

what's the point of going to computers school if i'm not gonna draw weird stuff about it

[girl4music]

Watching LEGION Season 2. Chapter 9.

Gods this show is so experimental. I love it.

It’s all about the mind and the power it can have once an idea takes ahold of creative and idiosyncratic people. It’s why it so heavily ties into mental health.

I said I wouldn’t do any commentary on my rewatch of this show but it’s just so damn thought-provoking, I can’t help expressing myself on how brilliant it is.

It’s stuff like this that really makes my INTP mind wild. And I’m just soaking all knowledge up like a sponge.

You know it pays well to be mentally predisposed because your preferred currency is information. And it’s always best when that information is open for interpretation and is given very little exposition.

It’s something for me - as the the person I am - to do because I care very little about crazy expensive CGI graphics and all the clever effects and tricks in the book if it’s not giving me anything for my mind to do.

That’s what I care most about with art/entertainment. The mental stimulation and consciousness expansion.

[anoelleart]

Ethereal Excerpts - Duty

“Well, I was never good at spreading the good word.” As he took a bite, the patter of a light rain began.  “Looks like you were right, though I wouldn’t call it a storm.” “Anyone can do it, predict the rain. Us humans can smell it from leagues away.” “That’s certainly not true.” “Oh, but it is. Find a book at the college on noses and come back to me.” He waved his fork at her. “I love to remind myself that when great sharks can smell just one drop of blood, we can smell the rain. We weren’t made for war.” “Your holy mission,” she corrected. The temple preferred certain verbiage. “The war.”

114 words

[The Protolith, Chapter 9]

[orcelito]

I went to bed suuuuper early & now I'm bored with sleeping but it's 3 am and I do need another like. Hour or two of sleep. At least.

I did this to myself 😔

[xreader-writing]

Still here | Lando Norris

Sumarry: Y/n comes to her ex-boyfriend Lando Norris' defense when he's being canceled, and Lando couldn't be happier about it.

Pairing: Ex!Lando Norris X Actress!Reader

A/n: So this will probably become a series lol English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.

The next chapter will be WRITTEN, so tell me if you approve this for series or not, thanks :)

Liked by user1 and 965,495 others

F1news Some internet users are questioning and disapproving of Lando Norris' behavior with Lewis Hamilton, and even pointing out other times when the driver acted rudely with other people around him. What do you think about this?

—

User1 Disrespectful, that's all.

User2 I think the fame went to his head.

User3 That's probably why Y/n broke up with him.

User4 I bet he was toxic to her.

User5 Y/n is so sweet, how did she put up with him for 2 years?

User6 Wow completely disappointed

Liked by user1 and 985,765 others

F1news Old photos of a fight between the former couple Lando and Y/n are circulating on the internet again after the cancellation of the pilot, some internet users are saying that he took out his frustrations on his partner.

—

User1 This is getting worse every day...

User2 Unfollowing Lando.

User3 I think the haters are taking advantage of this.

User4 I've always suspected this

user5 That's because he was born into a rich family and she wasn't.

User6 What does this have to do with anything?

Liked by mclaren, carlossainz55 and 1,680,593 others

Youruser Okay, I wouldn't say anything about it, but I think things got a little out of hand, and that's not right, some people have been saying how bad and rude Lando is, and how apparently he "was terrible" to me during our relationship, those people couldn't be more wrong.

Lando is the kindest and most kind person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and the two years we spent together were nothing but magical and happy with him, the photos that are circulating say that he's taking his anger out on me, my dears... rest assured that on that day the one who was taking the risk was him lol we had a normal fight like any other couple, don't blow it up or make too many theories about it.

We ended our relationship for other reasons, but we remain friends, he has all my affection and love and I know I have his too, so please stop this gratuitous and completely unnecessary hatred towards him, it hurts me too.

Thank you for your attention, Y/n.

—

Comments have been disabled.

Liked by user1 and 905,035 others

F1news Actress Y/n came out in defense of her ex-boyfriend Lando Norris, after all the theories and the cancellation of the pilot, she wrote a very cute text clarifying some speculations about the life of the former couple "Lando is the kindest and most kind person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting" says the actress in a part of her text that was posted in a publication on the actress's Instagram.

—

User1 Oh my God, I miss them so much 😭😭😭

User2 I love this woman

User3 McLaren liked it, they may have paid her to post this

User4 Oh, fuck you

User5 We never found out why they broke up

User6 I still think what he did was disrespectful..

User7 I think Lando is happier than ever now lol

User8 Hadn't she been with Pierre before dating Lando?

User 9 They have only been seen together a few times, they might be friends.

User10 Yes, nothing was ever confirmed.

───────────────────────NEXT

[svnnw]

WHEN YOU SMILE — mark smau

after barely passing your recent exam you're now desperately looking for someone to tutor you so your friends wouldn't worry about you and your grades.

or in which you find yourself making a deal with mark lee, a top students who seeks for your help. mutual benefit right?

fake boyfriend!mark x fem!reader

GENRE — fluff, angst, slowburn, comedy, humor, fake dating, non-idol au, college au

WARNINGS — a little bit of cursing, reader is kind of mean to mark, mark is REALLY nice, reader gets teased a lot, features other idols : xiaojun (nct); jaemin (nct); giselle (aespa); natty (kiof); haechan (nct); chenle (nct); ningning (aespa); minji (nwjns)

STATUS — ongoing

PLAYLIST — wildflower – billie eilish [02:14] ; sure thing – miguel [02:16] ; iris – the goo goo dolls [00:11] ; nobody gets me – sza [00:38] ; 200 – mark [01:04] ; godspeed – frank ocean [00:33] ; infrunami – steve lacy [00:32] ; intro (end of the world) – ariana grande [01:08] ; margaret – lana del rey [03:57] ; we can't be friends – ariana grande [02:27]

TAGLIST — open

A/N — soo excited for this smau especially because i've been wanting to post a mark smau for soo long!!

profile 1 || profile 2

1 ) how can you fail the easiest class

2 ) does this mean we're friends

3 ) just you wait

4 ) haechan's birthday party

5 ) officially fake dating

6 ) she's my friend

7 ) y/n is missing??

8 ) crazy fangirls

9 ) showing off while you're sleeping is crazy

10 ) does she hate me?

11 ) ILL FIGHT FOR YOU

12 ) i need advice

13 ) i guess i can forgive you..

14 ) mellowed out like crazy

15 ) YOU HAVE A SON???

16 ) bro tweets like a poet

17 ) why do i have to study even if i passed

18 ) this is a set up i just know it

19 ) 7 minutes in heaven

20 ) i bet his name starts with m and end with ark

21 ) i'd do anything to see her smile again

22 ) my angel

23 ) mark is down bad

24 ) it's not that important huh?

25 ) are you at a photoshoot

26 ) mark you're just jealous admit it

27 ) you're lowkey speaking facts..

28 ) this is what i call mandela effect

29 ) is that your secret man cave

30 ) my pretty angel

31 ) so was i ugly yesterday?

32 ) you're so easy to gaslight xiaojun..

33 ) what did i tell you?

34 ) since we're already here..

35 ) and that kids is how we kissed.

36 ) matching shirts with my new best friend

37 ) you've always been cute

38 ) crazy how you broke haechans record

39 ) so i'm that important to you?

40 ) you're a very socially awkward guy

41 ) just go and check twitter

42 ) i'm gonna rip my hair out

43 ) ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY??

44 ) WELL YOU THINK WRONG ❌

45 ) when you smile

bonus chapters :

who does he think he is?

dude yk i didnt mean it like that..

© svnnw

[yumeka-sxf]

Are we finally heading into the long awaited Desmond arc? 👀 It's hard to say yet, but my first thought upon reading the new chapter was that, like, 9 out of the 23 pages was just awkward silence at the dinner table 😬

Another thing that stood out to me within the first few panels was how different Damian seems at home than at school.

When he's rejected and inconvenienced by Demetrius and Max respectively, he keeps calm and doesn't get mad. On the contrary, he's very understanding and considerate. It's quite different from how he acts in similar situations at school where he's quick to lash out, especially at Anya of course. I'd like to think that what we're seeing in this chapter is more of the "real" Damian; a basically nice kid who longs for a normal childhood with a normal family, but unfortunately was born into the opposite...and because he's not free to openly express his frustration about this due to how uptight and estranged his parents are, he lets out a lot of his negative emotions at school instead. Anya is often the brunt of this due to how often she tries to interact with him in ways that he's not used to.

But anyway, back to the chapter itself, we're also introduced to a new butler at the Desmond house, Mary Jane.

Not sure how prominent of a character she'll be, but the fact that Endo gave her a name (which he doesn't always give to reoccurring characters) makes me think we'll see her again.

We also finally get to see Max and Damian interact. Despite being a German shepherd (I think), I like that Endo made him look distinct from Aaron. Though it seems like he has longish fur...maybe he's a mixed breed? Endo provided this cute illustration along with the chapter release too.

Among all the "Desmond family being awkward at dinner" panels we got, the one that stood out the most to me (and probably others) was this two-page spread.

Showing all of them in separate corners against total darkness, each seemingly in their own little world not looking at any of the others. This is very contrasting to how the Forger family meals are conveyed...

It really makes you wonder - which is the fake family and which is the real family?

A more subtle thing to note about the Desmond dinner is that Melinda never actually eats anything. Throughout all the panels, she's only seen drinking wine and never using her silverware. When she leaves, her plate hasn't been touched.

What I interpret from this based on what we know so far is that she has such an aversion to the Desmond house, and probably Donavan in particular, that she can't even bring herself to eat in his presence.

And lastly, I wanted to touch on the word that Donovan uses when describing the family dinner. In the Japanese version, he uses the word 有意義な which means "significant," "valuable," "useful," "of interest," etc.

I got the impression that Damian doesn't know what that word means, which is why it's written in katakana when he asks Jeeves. He says "Hey Jeeves, what's ユーイギ?"

The English version makes it seem like he knows what the word "worthwhile" means, but not what Donovan meant by it in this situation, so slightly different nuance between the two versions.

That about wraps up my thoughts on the new chapter! Like I said in the beginning, I think it could be leading to a new arc focused on the Desmonds, or it could simply be a standalone chapter, and we'll focus on something else next time. Gotta wait and see~

[arminsumi]

First request ever: Can you make a story about Gojo, where their both in a relationship but gojo had to end it because he was afraid that she would be in danger?

Thank you! Keep up the good work, I love your stories!!!

LET ME MARRY YOU

↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader

The risk of dating you his too much for him to handle, so he breaks it off, only for him to come back to your doorstep years later and ask: "Let me marry you."

2k

Note : istg each time i edited this... the wordcount grew lol. i hope u enjoyyy 🥹💗 tysm for enjoying my work it means everything

Warnings : angst -> fluff (?) -> happy ending trust me, Shibuya arc spoilers (Ep 9), manga spoilers (chapter 221)

🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open

The risk of dating you is thrilling when Satoru's just a teenager in puppy love. But as he grows older, and heads into those dreaded 20s, the risk makes him more and more nervous.

What if something happens to you?

He presses kiss after kiss to your forehead and feels his chest tremble, feels his lips quiver, as he refrains from telling you the truth about the Jujutsu world. Satoru just can't do it.

There are so many instances of him saving you from curses that you're oblivious about. He just smiles strangely, and you wonder why he looks like he's just seen a ghost. Because he has, those pretty eyes see ghosts. But those pretty eyes also see you, "What am I looking at?" he responds after you ask why he's looking at you so tenderly, "I'm looking at my future wife." he flirts just to fluster you.

That's at the cafe, when things are still simple. He keeps thinking to himself, as he lays with you in bed some nights;

I want to marry you.

I'm going to marry you.

Please let me be your husband one day.

As if he's trying to manifest it.

Everything is okay-ish... until he gets pangs of fright when your name starts to be known outside of his closed circle of friends.

It's October 11th.

Gojo Satoru breaks up with you.

He leads you to believe that the two of you are just "right person, wrong time". It all hurts an incomprehensible amount for him, to finally cut the string that tethers the two of you together.

He sits on the stairs, head in his hands, mourning.

He starts many mornings with crying spells that last until midday.

He destroys evidence of you and him. In case anyone ever finds it and thus finds your apartment, or work, or college... or anything.

But he can't part with a very special photo. It's you and him in Okinawa, sharing a cheesy kiss at the beach. In the moment this photo was captured, Gojo remembers having whispered some dirty joke in your ear and that's why you smiled so big into his kiss.

He drifts to sleep to the lullaby lovesongs that defined your love.

Years pass, he refuses to even talk to you. The heartbreak worsens with time, he laughs when he realizes that on his 27th birthday.

Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Someone said that to him once. Well, they must have been lying without realizing it.

The day Gojo Satoru is sealed, he looks into Suguru's eyes, and remembers you through them. When he resides in that awful prison realm, he only thinks of you you you you you you you oh god he misses you so much that it feels like the very thought of your smile stabs his chest. Every memory is painful. Every flashback puts one more crack in his heart.

"Can't I ever catch a break...?" He laughs to himself, chattering skeletons making their eerie symphony around him.

He thinks. Ponders. Wonders. Broods. Daydreams. All about you. Always about you. Never anything else. Just his first love, from the late spring of his 17th year.

His earthly goddess.

The purpose of his benevolent actions.

He cries. And sobs. And weeps. Because no one can hear him but the skeletons and he's sure they don't mind the sight or sound of a 27 man howling in pain over a lost lover.

It's not just your relationship that he's mourning. But the fact he can't feel you in this cube... that he can't feel your presence in the world... that's worse than the heartbreak. At least through all these years, he's been able to sense your existence. Feel the subtle ripples of your soul no matter how distant you are; you'd be stood in a coffee shop, he'd be at Jujutsu High teaching, and yet feeling you.

Because as he promised to you at 17, "Half my soul is yours. And half your soul is mine. I'll always be with you even if I'm not there."

He has the biggest breakdown of his life in that little cramped suffocating claustrophobic eerie creepy box.

It's 19 days later. He's out. He's back in the world. And he feels the sense of you, your existence, swelling in his chest, tickling his mind, prodding his heart.

"Gojo sensei, where are you headed?"

"I'm gonna go find my other half." he says cryptically.

It's a stark bright day.

Gojo Satoru knocks at your apartment door.

You open it.

He looks at you, and you look at him.

"Hi."

"...hey...? Wow. Haha... you grew into your features, huh?"

Your voice fills his heart with life.

"You too... glad you still live in the same place... I was worried you might have moved out..."

"... Ah, Satoru, you'd be able to find me no matter what corner of the world I resided in."

Your laugh fills his mind with pleasant memories.

There's an a magnetism between you and him just like there always used to be. It feels like two magnets connecting at last, after feeling the distant attraction throughout all these years of distance.

"You're right." Satoru says after a silence of just staring into your eyes.

"I'll always find my way home."

A silence ensues after he says this.

"...haha... don't cry... or I'll cry..."

"... Satoru... I thought of you every day after you left me at the station."

"... me too."

"... why did you leave?"

He stares at you.

"... I was scared of you being in danger."

He gulps.

"Me? In danger? But you're the strongest, why would it matter."

Oh god that's right. You said it then when you were 17, "You're the strongest" and he carried that title with him from then. And now you've said it again. He's reminded. He feels a bit stupid. A bit ridiculous. A bit...

"You're right..." he chokes up. "I am. I could have protected you I guess..."

"... yeah, duh."

He smiles meekly.

It was more complicated than that, sweetheart. But I won't tell you.

He hesitates. He contemplates.

"I have to tell you everything... will you promise to believe everything I say even if it sounds insane?"

"Of course. What is it?"

He inhales deeply. And instead of blurting out his whole life story of being a sorcerer in the Jujutsu world, he just leans in and kisses you hard and truthfully. Cups your cheeks. Closes his eyes. Tastes you like a sweet from his childhood that he hasn't had for years. Presses to you. Takes in your scent.

Yeah yeah... he'll tell you everything in a minute.

But for now just let him kiss you until he runs out of breath.

Let him just...

"Hey..." he pulls away, gasping, "Let me marry you."

"Haha, Satoru..." you take it as a joke and laugh, because it sounds as bizarre and unexpected as one. Then you realize there's that serious look on his face. "... Satoru?"

"Can I?"

"... what?"

"Can I please?"

"... huh??"

"Can I marry you, please?"

He looks at you and waits for your answer. His poor heart. It's palpitating. His whole chest cavity inspires with love for you. This man that you haven't seen in years has just asked if you'll let him marry you — with very specific wording.

Can he? Will you let him?

It's funny in a way, because you think to yourself; this is such a Satoru thing to do... show up unannounced years later on your doorstep and ask for your hand in marriage as if no time has passed, as if you know the full story.

"Satoru... what happened to you throughout these years for you to come back to me and ask for my hand in marriage?" you ask, genuinely baffled.

He swallows slowly. "I know I sound like I've lost my mind. But I promise I haven't."

"That's hard to believe. The Satoru I remember was always on the brink of mania. A bit insane but not quite."

You make him laugh. "Yeah..."

"So are you asking to marry me out of insanity?"

"No."

"Well alright then. I guess I'll marry you."

You make him laugh again, with that funny tone. He hasn't laughed genuinely in years... it's always been that plastic laugh. But this is his genuine laugh. Silky and quiet. The opposite of his demeanor.

"I guess I should be explaining everything to you properly... before I ask you something like that."

"You're damn right..."

"... don't scold me too hard when I tell you all the reasons I left. Or, if you do, then at least hold me while you scold me. And run your fingers through my hair like you used to."

"Satoru."

"Yes?"

His heart throbs. He looks at you.

"Stop standing at the doorway and come inside."

"Oh."

You sigh. He smiles. Then he bows his head so it doesn't hit the top of the doorframe. Damn tiny Tokyo apartments. Your archway always had it out for the crown of his head. You laugh when he bumps into it just like he always used to.

So the two of you sit down and just talk. And talk. Maybe cry a bit. Actually, you cry a lot. And he holds you. And he says he's sorry. He says sorry over and over, as if the word is a bandage he's trying to wrap around all your heartbreak wounds that he caused.

"I'm sorry."

Satoru's apologies aren't easy to come by, and when you receive them, they nurse your heart. It's the gentleness with which he says it, and earnest too. Each successive sorry means more than the last.

"My angel..."

When you call him this after he vents to you about his time in the Prison Realm, and his overwhelming duty of being the strongest, he breaks down completely and just weeps in your arms.

He sobs like you've never heard him sob before, like a dog.

Finally. At least for a moment. He could be weak. Let down his guard. Be raw. Be emotional. Not a teacher. Not a sorcerer. Just your boy. Your Satoru.

Your consolation is all he wanted throughout these years. He looks up at you, eyes red and sore, nose sniffling, and stares at you like he can see your soul.

"...Satoru?"

"Marry me."

You chuckle again.

"If that will stop your tears..." you joke.

He sniffles loudly and swallows, composing himself.

"I thought about marrying you so much when we were together... 'n I tried so hard to bite my tongue when your name nearly rolled off it while talking to my students some days. I was always..."

On the verge of saying your name.

He sniffles long and hard and waits for your hand to weave into his hair.

"Will you think about it?"

"I will."

There's a silence. Satoru feels hopeful. He lays on your chest, arms around you like you're his whole world that he won't dare let go of again.

"There." you say with finality. "I thought about it. Let's get married."

"That took you, like, ten seconds."

You laugh with him. "Yeah... I already knew in my heart when you asked me at the doorway... you know... Satoru... it's funny. When you left, it felt like half my soul was gone. And when you knocked on my doorstep, it felt like I was whole again. Does that sound freaky, or does it tie into all this... Juju... Jujutsu stuff?"

He's silent.

"I have no idea."

"Wow. My future husband isn't knowledgeable at all." you joke.

His heart flutters at 'future husband'.

"Sorry." he says, smiling softly, "My mind is blank when your fingers are running through my hair."

The two of you go on and on, until you're laid in bed sleeping at each other's side. Resting. And god, did Gojo Satoru need a good rest.

In your arms, he's no longer an insomniac.

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[oceandolores]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | masterlist!

Dbf! Joel Miller x female reader

"God loves you but not enough to save you,"

summary: In the small town near Austin, Texas, you are trapped in a life of rigid expectations and silent suffering. As the preacher's daughter, you endure the mental and physical abuse of your father while your mother, bound by obedience, offers quiet love. Your longing for a father's warmth finds an unexpected solace in Joel Miller, your father's best friend and neighbor. In Joel's presence, you discover a forbidden sanctuary, where your yearning heart is met with a gentle strength you've never known.

warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, ped0ph!l1a, cann1bal!sm, human traff1ck1ng, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡

❝ to my love, Joel.

,...found you just to tell you that I made it real far, i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did.

while you were torn apart, i would still wait with you there.

don't think about it too hard, honey. or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.

and don't worry about me and these green eyes,

baby, just know that i love you. and i'll see you when you get here.

i love you forever, Joel... ❞

THE PLAYLIST! (on spotify)👰🏼‍♀️

the preacher's daughter ▪️ dbf! joel miller

MASTERLIST!🐇

Chapter 1: "But I always knew in the end, no one was coming to save me,"

Chapter 2: "Because that's how my daddy raised me,"

Chapter 3: "I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue"

Chapter 4: "He looks like he works with his hands, and smells like Marlboro reds,"

Chapter 5: "Because for the first time since I was a child, I could see a man who wasn't angry,"

Chapter 6: "Let him make a woman out of me,"

Chapter 7: "You wanna fuck me right now?"

Chapter 8: "The fates already fucked me sideways,"

Chapter 9: "Christ, forgive these bones I'm hiding,"

Chapter 10: "and that's why I could never go back home,"

Chapter 11: "I don't care where as long as you're with me,"

Chapter 12: "If it's meant to be, then it will be."

Chapter 13: "Beautiful people, beautiful problems."

Chapter 14: "You put your hands into your head, and then smile cover your hearts."

Chapter 15: "Something's bad is 'bout to happen to me,"

Chapter 16: "Tag, you're it."

Chapter 17: "If he's a serial killer then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?"

Chapter 18: "He's cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed"

Chapter 19: "Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise,"

Chapter 20: "You poor thing, sweet, mourning lamb. There's nothing you can do."

Chapter 21: "If we die tonight, I'd died yours."

Chapter 22: ENDING

read it on wattpad!

the preacher's daughter by babyvenoms

ENJOY! and if you guys have any like visuals to this, or art that you made for this I would love to put it here, just let me know! thank you!! 🩵