#Why is a fictional character my type ?
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Ellis Mayfield is giving you a Thumbs Up!
#blind man's bluff#ladyredms#l4d2#i'm sooooo normal about him AAARGHHH#i can't start typing about why i love him so much or else this post will be 98% tags LMAO#he's just so strong and empathetic and kind and ooooh my god thinking about pre-gay realization ellis KILLS ME bc i can relate so hard#i also thought “hmm i'm just not sex/intimacy crazy like the other girls. and movies totally exaggerate romantic love its not that deep.”#and then realizing you DO like those things but just not in a straight way#anyways to keep it short i've never wanted to hug a fictional character so hard before LMAOO#i actually don't know why i doodled him like this i just did it without thinking
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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wAIT
hhh headcanon that kevin is atheist and raised by atheists 💞
because he doesnt know about holy water. AND. thats what i am. and my family. yay for projecting onto fictional characters <<<333
#IDK WHY BELIEVING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IS ATHEIST MAKES ME HAPPY BUT IT DOES#LIKE I NEVER THOUGHT ATHEIST REP MATTERED UNTIL I FOUND OUT GRUNKLE STAN WAS ATHEIST AND I FELT HAPPY IDK WHY#yk what. if christians get nice pleasant search results so tf can we.#i dont want “atheist” to always yield “haha were better than you fuck religion” NO SHUT UP THATS RUDE ASF#i fw theists 💪#and kevin. he's my boy. i love him#kevin spooky month#spooky month kevin#spooky month 6#hollow sorrows#atheist#atheism#giggles and kicks my legs#idk#atheist rep#reddit type atheists fuck off ♡
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OMG GUYS THEY FINALLY UPDATED THE WINDBREAKER WIKI YAYY I HAVE BEEN WAITING!
Chika is 183 cm tall 🎀 Hmmm cute mmmmm 🎀 Having a description of his personality won't stop me from writing fluffy things about him, nuh uh, he is going to show his more 'human' side to you and only you. I said what i said :3
#✧* ꜝ kiki's rambling#✧* ꜝ takiishi chika#windbreaker#takiishi chika#takiishi chika being that one toxic lover who doesn't even know how he is even in a relationship#it just happened that he tolerated you#somehow magically you make him feel things he can't describe#its okay everyone is learning#even evil people#SATORU NII DROPS HIS BACKSTORY I WANNA KNOW IF HE HAD SOMETHING TRAUMATIC HAPPENED OR HE IS JUST BORN LIKE THAT#dw chika i will show you all love in the world#quick note that i dont tolerate abusive people i mean noone should#but its a pretty fictional character so please let me like him even if he is the most awful person#if the author even drops his past like is there a chance of him having abusive parents like his dad maybe?#where are the parents in this type of fiction i wonder everytime#like if endo was loved by everyone in his childhood without feeling any emotion#is there a chance of chika being hated by everyone in his childhood and being emotional about it#just a theory i don't know#why i do ramble so much someone please stop me#like chika is a total psycho#a tall good looking psycho#i love tall boys actually they are my weakness#hoping for a tall bf someday in university life we trust#anyway back to chika I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#NEXT CHAPTER BETTER BE A FOCUS ON HIS FIGHT WITH UME#also i have to make a video with voice actor who will be a perfect match for him
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why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.
#i should've just bailed and written another story when i had the chance#i'm not joking i've never fought a fiction piece this hard before. usually because i'm not writing for specific deadlines#and not a piece so big. and not one that's gonna be workshopped. i wanna blow them away but if things keep going the way they are everyone'#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK#i'm the type to do about 15 passes before i let someone see my 'first draft' and i'm just not gonna be able to do that if i want to get it#in time for a workshop. every day i delay is making things harder for my classmates y'know?? but i've been writing like 1k words a day#and it's still not done. GUHH#I DON'T LIKE WRITING THESE CHARACTERS THAT MUCH THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR ENDEARING AND THAT'S MY LIKE.#MAIN SKILL AND VIBE WITH SHORT STORY DUOS. BUT NOOOO I HAD TO MAKE THEM DIFFERENT CUZ I WAS SICK OF DOING#THE SAME DYNAMIC OVER AND OVER. BITCH THIS IS YOUR FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIED AND TRUE GETS THE BLUE (RIBBON)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head#going to work on it some more. fuckk#the voices aren't consistent and i'm trying to make it clear that this is toxic bird yuri and not a mother/daughter thing but the maternal#themes are kind of fucking with that but they're important and i don't wanna get rid of them but it feels forced cuz im forcing it#sigh. i'm gonna have to cut the yuri. these two don't work romantically at all. what a waste of time.#i watched the entirety of mnthly girls' nozaki-kun in the past two days while avoiding writing. did you know that? the lengths to which i'l#go? anyway it was fun i appreciate fellow creative agony and i uh never knew how they did screen tones and wasn't expecting that somehow#so i learned something new (hooray). anyway back to. fucking. bird story stuff#i'm so mad i hate these two (<- lying. just pissy) i hate this story (<- mostly exaggerating. throwing a tantrum)#eughhhhhh i just wanna lie on the floor and cryyyyyyyyyy (<- completely deadpan irl. not That upset just kind of sick of shit)#i'm so burnt out and it's only gonna get worse. ughh#why can't someone just come in and write it for meeeeeeeeeeheheuhhh (<- would hate that)
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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i need to start a collection of spideypool fics that are awful fanfic because they bare no resemblance to wade and peter but in fact scratch the house wife inch in my brain for trashy romance novels
#if your fanfic can be turned into original fiction it wasn't a good fic in the first place#i made a tiktok video about this the two types of bad fanfic#but i think this is why a lot of people only ship fanon spideypool because the fics are good fiction they're just bad fanworks#these fics are my guilty pleasure though#i haven't found anything remotely similar in other fandoms#like nothing so out of character but so strongly written
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i’m not arguing with a brown eyed, dark + curly/messy haired transmasc. like ok pretty boy whatever u say. wanna kiss?
#after reviewing the fictional characters i tend to develop crushes on + some ppl irl i find pretty ive concluded i might have a type#also gonna tag some characters this fits cause why not-#jim jimenez#good omens beelzebub#dazai osamu#(< “hes not transmasc” he is to me !!)#gay#queer#trans#ryan shut the fuck up#also this may or may not be my tentative return to pining-#still gonna keep that shit in dms tho for now
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I’m so tired of ppl making art of trans characters and they literally just look 100% cis but with different genitals like how are we not grasping the problem here
#I see it A LOT with the kny fandom which is what inspired this post#like first of all you’re drawing characters from fucking taisho era japan….#no one is on hrt or getting top surgery like it’s just not happening#and like on the one hand I kiiiinda get the ‘but it’s wish fulfillment!’ argument but. when that’s ALL the art that there is of trans#characters…. yeah it’s. not great#i also don’t like the implication that the only conceivable way a trans person could be happy is if they pass perfectly/look 100% cis#even in a fictional setting#ALSO ALSO the fact that y’all seem to be allergic to bottom surgery????#or if you’re using some hand wavy magic thing nobody is swapping their vagina for a penis or vice versa???#like you make them look 100% cis somehow someway but then…. no change to genitals at all….#it feels fetishy imo lmao like idk#there’s a lot of layers to this and my point is that it honestly feels kiiiinda transphobic in a lot of subtle ways#like the fact that we can apparently only depict trans ppl existing if they look cis BUT not their genitals cuz genital change = bad or w/e#and again no even if it’s a trans artist or writer I really don’t think that absolves you from thinking about why this is the only type of#trans character you depict#wish fulfillment or ‘personal representation’ or whatever aside#I think this is a pretty good indicator that you’ve got some internalized things to unpack one way or another idk#kaz rambles
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i need a little notes section to be added to all block list functions in social media bc my goldfish memory having ass don't always remember why i blocked someone
see i looove blocking ppl and curating my online experience with wild abandon, but that means it can be anything from 'this person is a fucking terf' to 'this person is harmless but has annoying opinions about fictional characters i like' to 'this person once said mango was disgusting and i took it personally'
so now tumblr or whatever is telling me i have a mf blocked and i gotta sit there and wonder if they're a bigot or just have bad opinions on cheesecake
#like are they a rabid bigot? do they think liking x fictional character means ur evil? do they spout 'no kink at pride' bullshit?#do they think thoughtcrimes are real? do they have the habit of woobifying ur favorite character?#were they a little too excited about the death of some random anime character and it put u off?#did they reblog one of those 'have you heard this song' polls and have utter dogshit opinions on your favorite song?#are they kind of a dick with a bully type sense of humor that rubs u the wrong way? do they just rly fuckin hate cheesecake for some reason#all these and more are reasons i can remember off the top of my head for blocking someone lol#i rarely remember why i blocked someone but i often remember the feeling of 😒 that inspired it lol#so i can usually trust past me even if i don't remember why i blocked someone#tho if i take the time to rifle through an acc i blocked the reason why usually eventually becomes evident#i am at least consistent lol#sketchy speaks
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because 99% of the time "dont be mean to men" translates in practice into "dont talk about your gendered experiences"
#i was talking to a man recently about how a specific type of man can be scary to me before doing anything wrong#because of my past experiences w this type. and how i had to work Past that to like a FICTIONAL character#and when i tell you this man started defending why that actually isnt a gendered experience at all#and i could not have been more thorough or calm in explaining. which btw his ass was not even reading my messages at this point#more stuff happened i cant share for legal reasons but like this guy thought i was being MEAN to men. as a concept#they dont recognize a difference being not being mean and shutting up about your experiences#that is why we cant 'not be mean' to men#rambles
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Clockwork is literally just a personification of fanfic writers.
He knows everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen
Is aware of all the different versions of reality
And can manipulate details and events to create/prevent realities
Just like anyone who's watched the show is aware of everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen (anything important anyway, but headcanons fill in the gaps)
Anyone in the Phandom is aware of all the different versions of reality (fics/AUs)
And fic writers/artists change details/events about cannon to fit their story
What the fuck.
#danny phantom#clockwork#typing it out it's like#yeah duh#kinda obvious#but it felt like such a revelation#comparing Clockwork to my idea of the Fiction Multiverse#and how Authors Artists Game devs and everything else i can't think of rn are like gods to other realities#how the team sees Clockwork is how I imagine characters would see their authors#like#why would you do this?#it's for your own good
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i think I'm starting become vi and I've come across this realization in the shower
#yk how vi is with baizhu?#yeah.#ermm ajax is the only fictional guy ive ever had consistent dreams about ..??#and like i see him and smile#like he IS a comfort character and i love him he gets me all warm n fuzzy#but#i think this is more than just an affection 😦#nono i think im ATTACHED#holy shit#like#baivi. type of attached#i think its why i get sooo pressed when i see someone mischaracterize him and proceed to hate him#it can be in the SMALLEST way#this is actually kinda scary given how i feel ab romance 😞#i dont talk about him a lot on main but fuck i know i love him#IM TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE I JS GOT A GIRLFRIEND OR SMT PIPE DOWN#this is horrifying.#i need to go on vis like#selfship account or whatever#and take notes#this is scary how does one deal with this#ok i might be being dramatic#(terrified why do i feel like thissdeduhh)#💙 my knight 💙
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vibrating at supersonic speed and obliterating into tiny pieces
#i've been scrolling through rp blogs for no reason what so ever at all#nostalgia brain tells me rp was so much fun and it clings to the one long rp i did with a girl where my oc rescued her oc from some big bad#and the oc rp i was doing with remy was also rad..... basically coop writing a fic for that one lmao#for months i've been like. just make a random rp blog and see what happens but for who. what. where. when#i have a lola sideblog and i've been considering making that also a rp blog for her bc that could be fun but idk 😔#i just wanna be unwell about fictional characters and put them in situations collaboratively#why do i gotta put em in situations all by myself all the time huh !!! just cuz i made them and they live in my brain and my brain alone !!#anyway if u need me i'll be staring at the ceiling contemplating and passing out without making a decision#nadine is typing...
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"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"
I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.
#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore#unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth#My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I#am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to#ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr#user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because#they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao#and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a#direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases#like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence#but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that#women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already#telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them#and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because#if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again#no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things#inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found
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not saying shit in the tags cause im not a bitch on people's gifset but like. look at the gifset. now try to explain to me what's funny about the snl joke
#last post about this i think i need to ignore that both of those women in hacks are played by actual real life versions of themselves#or else i wont be able to enjoy s4 when it comes out dhsjsjs#like woman why. those types of deb stand ups were miserable to get through#and i only did cause its a fictional character and this is a set up for her arc of unlearning her bullshit#why would i enjoy seeing that outside the tv show im just so?#i feel insane seeing ppl on my dash happy abt this if youre a lesbian fan of her youre the butt of the joke here im sorry hdbshsjs
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