#Who is a backend developer

[cyrsed]

i love when companies frame them wanting to pay fewer people as some kind of personal development opportunity or job title lol. 'we're looking for full-stack developers', 'we're looking for T-shaped developers'

yea ok so you're cutting costs by expecting people to be able to do everything

[myconetted]

something ppl often forget when it comes to software: the reason it doesn't "just" do something that seems really easy is cause there are dozens of other such things, and also every time you add a new thing to your software, your software gets more complicated. sometimes you're barely treading water with the systems you already have, and adding this simply-looking thing would actually require re-architecting a bunch of other stuff to be able to support it

why is it like this? well first of all, software is Bad. but have you ever played a game where you have so much shit going on the game starts to slow down? yeah. imagine that but it's happening on the backend servers, and the backend engineer's job is to secretly rearrange shit in the background to fix it without you ever noticing. they probably had to do some cool tricks to keep it fast and reliable, and those tricks may or may not work when you introduce your proposed new feature

so feature development has to include the part where you tell the backend engineers about your cool idea and then they start sweating and drawing boxes and muttering about qps. then you put them in a cage match with the product manager who has spreadsheets about how much people really really want the feature and you have them fight to see who wins

oh yeah and make sure this doesn't break anything for people visiting the website from their toaster because otherwise you'll make the one engineer obsessed with toaster compatibility really mad. and we need her happy because nobody else knows how to fix the main database when it hits the funny error nobody else has ever seen before in their lives

anyways welcpme to software

[failbettergames]

hello mr fail! Question: when you say ‘us’ how many people is that referring to?

You'd think this would have a short answer! But it's fun to illuminate a little about how this works, because basically nobody knows how game development happens (even other people in the industry would be surprised by our team's composition, because every game has different demands). :D

The the Fallen London team: Bruno heads up the creative side, with James and Luke on Fallen London design and writing (with a little bit of George and a crumb of Chris), Stuart heads up Fallen London business/production with Jim on the backend, and Paul, Toby and Erion on art (Toby and Erion are mostly on our unannounced project but do the occasional Exceptional Story poster or icon).

This is the current makeup of the team, and doesn't include the stable of freelancers we've worked with over the last 14.5 years or the team members who've come and gone during that time. The credits are extensive!

On the unannounced game we have Adam as game director (who is also CEO), Olatz and Séamus on programming, Toby leading art with Paul and Erion, Chris and George on story and writing, Stuart on production, Les on QA (who is leaving! We love you Les!).

Last but not at all least we have Helena who looks after all of our operations, and me, Hannah, on comms for everything.

So there are 16 of us, sort-of divided in half but with lots of moving around from project to project. :)

[bellysoupset]

Some palate cleanser after the previous story 😭

------------------------------

"What was her name again?"

"Allison," Luke answered without missing a beat, his cheeks tinted pink, maybe from the wine. Bella leaned back uneasily as she watched her husband swirl the remaining bit of his drink and finish it off, catching her eyes.

Lucas was all smiles tonight. That one million buck smile that turned her off more than anything, a brilliant reminder that in another life he'd be a Forbes cover.

They were having dinner with Sylvie, Luke's boss, as well as the mayor Mr. Joshua Till and his twenty years too young wife, Marylin. It was taking all of Bella's willpower to pretend she was even mildly interested in all the polite small talking.

The mayor's eyes had sparked her eye, ambition written all over his face, and since then he hadn't bothered to talk with her. His child-bride, Bella thought viciously, was nicer and she had attempted to start up conversation twice, in a tiny voice that could not be heard by anyone other than their table and at the moment they were too busy measuring dicks to pay attention.

"What do you do, Bella?...Oh, backend developer... Sounds so scary, what's that?... My god, Joshie, you gotta hear-" Marylin tugged at her husband's sleeve and he brushed her off easily, causing Bella to cringe in sympathy.

"Don't worry," she leaned in to whisper innocently, "people don't give much thought about backend dev, not until they need an app working. I'm used to it."

Marylin's eyes sparkled at the friendly interaction, clearly the poor woman was feeling as out of place as Bell herself.

Bella's mood was quickly tanking. She didn't feel well, there was a heavy sensation in her stomach and she was glad that the rich people's restaurant served those minuscule portions, because there was no way she could eat much more than those two forkfuls she had.

Luke was busy and tonight her role was simply to play the loving, smiley wife, who didn't mind the mayor's mildly sexist jokes, like when he had first seen her and said "now I know why Luke was rushing to get married."

"You alright?" Luke whispered, leaning in, snapping Bella out of her thoughts, squeezing her knee inconspicuously. Bella nodded, opening a small smile as he planted a kiss on her cheek and whispered, "we'll leave soon."

Soon ended up being nearly three hours later. Bella was feeling clammy and queasy, she wanted nothing more than her bed.

"One closing drink and then we'll go," the mayor said, ordering liquor for the whole table. Bella bit the inside of her cheek not to grimace, she couldn't say no to the mayor, not when Luke and his boss had spent the whole night charming the man, but goddamn if she didn't want to.

The waiter came back with mini liquor glasses, tiny flutes filled with amber liquid.

Joshua raised his glass, urging them all to mimic him, "to a long lasting partnership," he cheered, before gulping it down.

Yeah, right, until the election, Bella thought sourly, before gulping her own drink down. Her already unsettled stomach flipped at the burning liquid and she hiccupped, loud and suddenly enough that Luke and Marylin both chuckled.

"Oh, that was cute-" Luke grinned, leaning her way, he was slightly tipsy, the lightweight that he was, and Bella glared at him.

"Excuse me..." she mumbled, standing up and grabbing on the back of Lucas' chair to steady herself, when the ground swam around her. Bell took a deep breath, ignoring Luke's confused glance, then marched to the bathroom.

As soon as she got inside, Bella braced against the sink and groaned as she saw her reflection. The natural golden tone of her skin had become muted thanks to her paleness and no amount of makeup could cover up how lousy she felt.

She swished some water and spat it back out, splashing her nape and neck, trying to cool down and taking measured breaths to fight the nauseous feeling starting to take over her.

The bathroom door opened as Bella was patting her cheeks with some humid paper towels, trying to wipe the clamminess without removing her makeup.

Marylin walked in, then paused on her way to the bathroom stall, perking up, "it was really nice that you were here, Bella."

Bell couldn't figure out why, considering her mood had been less than stellar for most of the night.

"Thanks...?"

Marylin offered her a soft smile, walking inside the stall. Bella was about to leave when she heard the lady's voice, louder so she could be heard, "these dinners are always so boring."

Bell cringed, she wanted nothing more than to leave, but politeness now required her to stay put while the other woman peed, "they're alright," she lied through her teeth and heard a little scoff.

"Please. Josh cannot stop talking, we're basically here as scenery. It's even worse when it's one of his committee parties," she flushed, then stepped out, smoothing her beige dress and walking towards the sink, "it's like I'm a very pretty plant he drags around."

Bella raised her eyebrows, queasy feeling in the backburner as she collected the gossip, "really? I thought you two were- Picture perfect," no, she didn't.

Marylin rolled her eyes, grabbing some paper towels, "no, you didn't. You look just as bored as I am, you're just not as good pretending. Resting bitch face case?"

A cackle slipped out and Bella rushed to cover her mouth, suddenly amused, "oh shit- I mean, sorry, sorry-"

The other woman smiled fondly, leaning against the sink slightly, "your husband's sweet," she said after a minute, "he actually listens when you speak."

"I mean," Bella frowned, "that's the bare minimum. Wouldn't have married him otherwise."

The First Lady shrugged, balling up the paper towels and throwing it in the trash, "is it?" she said in a calm voice, stepping around Bella, "how long have you two been together?"

"Six years in September," Bella followed her out, letting out a small sigh of relief as she saw Luke was standing at the door already, holding her coat.

"I've only been with Josh for three," Marylin threw her a serious glance, "we should go out for coffee some other day. I'll get your number with Joshua."

Did the mayor have her number?

"Uhm- Okay-" Bella barely finished her sentence, before the other woman was walking away, whole demeanor changing as she entered her unassuming role.

"You're pouty," Luke said, as they finally got to the parking lot, after many thank-yous and goodbyes. He had an around her back and Bella was quietly walking alongside him.

"No, I'm not," Bella grabbed the car door handle, climbing in, "I'm fine."

"Uhm..." Luke leaned in, slotting himself between her legs, his nose nearly touching hers, "don't believe you."

"Too bad," Bella planted her index on his forehead, pushing him back, "I just wanna go home, tonight was exhausting."

"Have I said thank you for putting up with it?" Luke didn't pull back despite her pushing, turning his face so he could catch her finger and nibbling at it, "thank you. I know it was boring as hell, but you being here meant a lot."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure the night would've been ruined without me," Bella rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile as he wrinkled his nose and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"Mine would've," Luke pushed a curl that had escaped from her hairstyle back behind her ear, "thank you."

Her cheeks burned and Bella shrugged, unsure of how to take the honest thankfulness, "let's go home, I don't feel so good." She cringed as soon as she said it and caused Luke's eyes to widen, sobering him up immediately.

"You're not feeling well? What's wrong?"

Bella sighed, pulling her hand from his hold and rubbing her stomach lightly, "just feeling a little gross, it's not a big deal. I think I just miss my bed."

Luke opened a small smile at that, then leaned in and stole a kiss, "let's go home, grandma."

"Real weird calling me that right after kissing me," Bella grinned, but she happily kissed him back.

The drive home was uneventful, although Bella was muffling little burps against her fist for pretty much all of it. She couldn't get rid of that queasy sensation, not strong enough to make her pukey, not faint enough to let her forget it.

"I think the First Lady wants to be my friend," Bella said, once they got out of the car and she started stripping at their front door, using Luke's shoulder as support as she unclasped her heels.

"She's our age, I wouldn't be surprised," Luke shrugged, unlocking the door and stepping aside so she'd go in first. These little spontaneous bursts of chivalry never ceased to make Bella all melty inside. "Besides, you're like... The coolest girl."

"Aw, I'm flattered, babe," Bella teased him, draping herself over his back and letting out a sigh when Luke planted his hands over hers in his chest, keeping her put, "you think I'm the coolest girl?"

"Yep," Luke turned his head to smile at her, "you got that mysterious-dont-really-wanna-be-here thing going on. Got me smitten on the spot, I don't see why it'd be different with anyone else."

"Marylin called it a resting bitch face, but I love the way you see me," she muffled a little burp against his shoulder blades, stepping in rhythm with him as they waddled to the bedroom.

"What's the point of a hot woman if she doesn't look a little mean?" Luke smiled, grabbing at her forearms and throwing Bell in the bed. She fell with a pleased noise, sinking against the pillows, and squirmed as Luke promptly crawled over her.

"Don't- Luke," she shoved at his arm, "don't lie on top of me, my stomach hurts-" she rolled her eyes as Luke slid down on the bed, rolling her black dress up, "what part of my belly's hurting was an invitation to eat me- Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Luke snorted, placing a kiss against her belly, as he pushed her dress up enough, and starting to rub it gently, "doesn't feel bloated to me."

"It's not gas," Bella blushed and used this moment to pull her dress up and out, balling it up and throwing it across the room. She started removing the pins in her hair, "it's just bleh."

"Bleh," Luke repeated, smiling and pressing another kiss near her navel, "like you're gonna be sick?"

"Sorta," Bella tilted her hip, so Luke's next kiss was to the side of her belly, near her ribcage, "not really pukey, but I guess? I don't know, I just feel gross."

"You're a gift with words," he mumbled against her skin and Bella flicked at his ear. Her stomach churned once more and she groaned, turning her face to muffle a sickly burp against the pillow.

"Dinner's messing with you, uh?" Luke said quietly, resting an elbow on the bed and continuing to rub her stomach in soothing circles, seeming completely hypnotized.

"No," Bella's mouth started to get a sticky quality and she gulped down the weird sour taste, "felt like this all day."

"What?" he glanced up, surprised, "why didn't you say anything! Isabella! I wouldn't have-"

"It was a important dinner," Bell shrugged, poking his knuckles to get Luke to start the belly rub back again, "I almost threw up at lunch, but I persevered."

"You're impossible, Bell," Luke pouted, putting a bit more pressure in the slow circular motions, his thumb pressing on her side, "we could've rescheduled."

"With the mayor? Yeah, right," Bella sat up slowly, feeling a weird pressure in her throat. She pressed her lips in a line and Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"Bell? Do you need the trashcan?"

Maybe. Bella shook her head, letting the nausea wash over her and gulping down, goosebumps springing all over her.

"You're really pal-"

She hastily shoved him off of her and leaned over the side of the bed, but instead of vomit, only a small wet burp came up. Bella groaned, head hanging, as Luke went to hold her hair back and let out a small scoff.

"You're always so dramatic when you need to burp," he planted a kiss to her temple, "are you gonna puke?"

"No," Bella gulped down, collapsing on the pillow once more, "but can you get in bed and rub my belly?"

"Aw, pooOor baby," Luke teased her, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "yeah, let me just change first."

Bella was feeling more than a little drowsy by the time Luke slipped under the blankets, promptly pulling her closer to him and burying his nose in her hair, "are you sleepy?"

"Took you forever," she mumbled, grabbing his hand and moving it to her stomach, draping herself on his side, "Lu?"

"Yeah?" his mouth was pressed to her temple and his breath tickled the top of her ear, causing Bella to smile.

"Thank you for not treating me like a very pretty plant."

Lucas let out a cackle, throwing his head back and causing the bed to shake, "you're welcome?"

Bella smiled, pressing her nose to his neck and tangling their legs together, "I'd be a venus flytrap."

[askagamedev]

Summer 2025 Game Development Student Internship Roundup, Part 1

Internship recruiting season has begun for some large game publishers and developers. This means that a number of internship opportunities for summer 2025 have been posted and will be collecting applicants. Internships are a great way to earn some experience in a professional environment and to get mentorship from those of us in the trenches. If you're a student and you have an interest in game development as a career, you should absolutely look into these.

If you know of any game development internships that aren't listed here, please tell me! I'll try to collect another batch when EA posts theirs as a follow-up.

Technical Artist Intern (Remote!)

Sound Design Intern (Remote!)

Game Design Intern

Game Engineering Intern

Data Analytics & Data Science Intern

Localization Production Intern

Environment Art Intern

Animation Intern

VFX Intern

3D Character Art Intern

Site Reliability Engineering Intern

Concept Artist Intern (Canada)

Animation Intern

VFX Intern

Game Engineering Intern

Technical Artist Intern

Threat Intelligence Analyst Intern

UI/UX Design Intern

User Research Intern

Computer Graphics Intern

Software Engineering Intern

Production & Project Management Intern

Concept Artist Intern (California)

World Designer Intern

3D Artist Intern

Animation Programmer Intern

Animation Technical Design Intern

Audio Design Intern

Backend Engineer Intern

Balance Design Intern

Character Artist Intern

Engine Programmer Intern

Environment Art Intern

Game Design Intern

Game Security Intern

Gameplay Programmer Intern

Gameplay Systems Engineer Intern

Salesforce Developer Intern

Software Engineer Intern

Environment Art Intern

Game Design Intern

Gameplay Programmer Intern

Tools Programmer Intern

Technical Artist Intern

Technical Character Animation Intern

Technology App Portfolio Intern

Tools Programmer Intern

Concept Artist Intern

At time of writing, Electronic Arts was performing maintenance on their recruiting site and should have new openings posted on November 12th 2024. I'll do a second round of internship opportunities once they post, along with Ubisoft and any others I missed.

Brush up your resume and focus on any game dev work you've done. Amateur game dev work counts! Tabletop game mastering counts! Amateur board and card game design counts! Making your own CCG fan sets or draft cube counts! Game jam work counts! These make a bigger difference when it comes to hiring than most other kinds of work experience.

If you need assistance with your resume/CV, cover letter, or have other questions, join our discord and ask. The server is full of experienced developers who can help review your materials and give you suggestions. I also suggest taking a look at my Game Career FAQ. There's a lot of answers in there already. Best of luck out there.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[genericpuff]

The LO TV show isn't happening, and here's why.

Now, before I begin, courtesy to /u/Princess_Space_Goose because they're one of the driving forces behind these observations concerning stuff in the entertainment sector and they were the first ones to make a comprehensive post about it over on reddit shortly after we got into it in the Discord and compiled everything we knew. But I also REALLY wanna talk about this and I'm surprised to see I haven't yet. They've covered reddit, so I'm covering Tumblr LMAO

Disclaimer: Long post ahead. Much of what I say below is speculation but there's a lot of damning evidence to support it. Take it with grains of salt.

Rachel has vague-posted about the show a couple times over the past few years, but very sparingly so, always stating that it's "in the works" without anything to actually show for it. This would have been fine back in 2020 or even 2021 (the pandemic did bring a lot of television/movie development to a crawl) but we're over halfway through 2023 now.

So where's the show? Who's running it? What is it gonna look like? Which streaming service is it going to be hosted on?

We literally do not know any definitive answers to these questions because nothing has been revealed and at this point in the game, that's basically a death sentence. LO has been on a noticeable decline in stats over the past year, while we obviously can't access the backend numbers (and neither can Rachel as far as I know because WT guards them with an iron fist which is a whole other topic for discussion) it's still very clear by the comic's rating slowly but surely dropping and the like count average lowering (obv the like count isn't indicative of view count but if the ratio has remained the same, that means if the like count lowers, the viewership is likely lowering too). There's also been certain behavior from WT over the past year that hints at the comic not doing well, such as its VERY aggressive ad campaigning which often undercuts other series on the platform that are far better than LO and deserve the spotlight, but lose it anyways because WT just wants to keep its golden goose on life support even after its heart has stopped beating.

So the fact that we don't know the answers to these questions still after 4 years is NOT good. We don't know anything and while that was excusable 3 years ago, at this point, it's more indicative of the project being at a standstill or dropped completely, and what we dug up and discussed in the ULO Discord (and what was later posted to reddit) proves it with some very telling information dissected from LinkedIn and other sources.

So far, the only people we know connected to this project are Rachel Smythe (the creator of LO) and Stephanie K Smith (the appointed showrunner). Showrunners are the lifeblood of television series, remember this. Here's a little bit about her:

Lore Olympus still doesn't have a network, this means it has no definitive spot to air, which is not good at this point, because the network is what primarily funds these projects. Think of "Netflix shows" - they're not necessarily made by Netflix, they're made by studios that Netflix funds and as such they're given the Netflix branding because Netflix is their proprietary distribution network and benefactor. So LO has no network or streaming service funding its production. All of her other credited works have affiliated networks/distributors, but LO doesn't.

"But what about Jim Henson Company?" Jim Henson Company bought the rights to LO in 2019 to produce it, that doesn't necessarily mean they were onboard to fund the entire project. Again, these studios need networks to back them, not just for monetary purposes, but with the promise that their project will have a place to go when it's finished, whether it's Netflix, HBO, etc. Think of it like a movie theater - the movie theaters aren't the ones making the movies, but they have deals with the studios to air those movies with the agreement that both sides will be making money.

Jim Henson Company is a production studio, not a network. Not only that, but they're primarily for-hire for puppetry/animatronic projects, they're not the same kind of studio as, say, Laika, or Disney, or Warner Bros. Much of their work is done on the backend, creating animatronics and puppets for kids' productions, monster movies, etc. Currently they're working as the animatronic designers for Five Nights at Freddy's, but that movie isn't a JHC movie, it's a Blumhouse production, which has hired JHC to create animatronics for them.

So, the fact that they were the ones to buy out LO for production rights is... very odd. Because for starters, they don't tend to buy out production rights like major studios, they're typically for hire, but they're also not an animation studio. Any animation projects they've worked on were for concept art and design, such as Word Party, but the folks at JHC primarily specialize in conceptualization and practical effects. That's their whole shtick, it's what they're selling, it's what they get hired for.

That's all early stuff though, stuff we've been speculating on for ages. What came to light recently that spurred on this whole essay was discovering this one section on Stephanie K's LinkedIn:

There are a couple things we can glean from this. First, we know this has to be LO even if it isn't being named, because LO is the only one that was bought by JHC.

This also confirms that LO did end up with a distribution network, specifically HBO Max.

But it also confirms that Stephanie K Smith, the showrunner, is no longer on the project, either due to willingly quitting or being removed. According to the time stamps, she left in April of this year.

This is especially not good because without a showrunner, there's no leader. Showrunners are essential to these projects. So without a showrunner, and without any sort of announcement of a replacement, LO's television show is a ship without a captain, a car without a driver, a Hell's Kitchen without a Gordon Ramsay.

There's mention of an "animated presentation" but as mentioned in that reddit post above, that's not necessarily a pilot, it's more likely it was this. Which can't even really be called "animation", it's just video editing, rigging and tweening, but I digress.

There's a lot more in that reddit thread that dives into some of the details of Stephanie K's stuff, including the HBO Max affiliation and how that potentially connects to the Sydney Sweeney trailer, but ultimately, all of these breadcrumbs add up to one of two things:

LO's television show is in severe development hell which it likely will not come out of for quite some time, especially right now with both the writer's strike and streaming services gutting their animation connections.

LO's show isn't happening at all but with LO's numbers declining and its audience growing more fed up with the series (look no further than the comments on Instagram about LO's recent Eisner win, people are PISSED) Rachel and WT are trying to do as much damage control as possible by dangling a carrot in front of the audience they have left in the hopes that they'll stick around long enough on the promise of a TV show happening to keep siphoning cash and views. After all, there are two things many readers are still sticking around for - the SA plotline, and the TV show, and both of those things are being unnecessarily dragged out in the vaguest way possible with no real resolution in sight.

Neither of these are good, but I think what's even more telling is that, since that post was made on reddit, Rachel has attended SDCC and taken part in a new interview from Girl Wonder Podcast, and when asked about the show, all she had to say was this:

"Um, it’s been really interesting. It’s been educational for me. So, what I—what has been done so far is beautiful. Like, if I could share it, I would. But I can’t. Because it’s very naughty."

IDK if the "naughty" bit is referring to the show or just her revealing info about it, but the fact that NOTHING was shown at SDCC is just. Y'all, I'm sorry, but the show is not happening. If you're gonna show off previews for television ANYWHERE, it's SDCC. It's like the E3 of comics and entertainment media. So the fact that she's STILL VAGUE-POSTING ABOUT IT EVEN AT A MAJOR EVENT WHERE IT'S COMMONPLACE TO REVEAL TRAILERS AND PREVIEWS OF NEW PROJECTS, like... it's just not happening. Jim Henson Company bought the rights to produce LO as a TV show in the summer of 2019. Since then, we haven't seen a SHRED of news, if you google "Lore Olympus TV show" it'll still be the same 2-3 articles from 2019 talking about JHC buying the rights and that's it. If you do further sleuthing, all you'll find is Rachel saying "yeah it's still happening but I can't say anything!" which means fucking nothing at this point. The only 'hope' I have left is that they'll announce it at NYCC which has Rachel in a top billing spot in its advertising, but I'm really not holding my breath at this point.

Animated productions take a while, sure, but LO wasn't the only comic bought for TV production in that late 2010's/early 2020's era. Heartstopper was bought in 2019, and it made it to Netflix by April 2022. And it was live action, a medium SEVERELY affected by the pandemic, unlike animation, which wasn't affected as much because a lot of animation development can be done from home. What did affect the animation sector was streaming services like Netflix gutting their connections to animation studios and putting animated projects on the chopping block... which also doesn't bode well for LO.

It's 2023 now and we still don't even have anything beyond those initial announcement articles and Rachel making empty promises. It's not happening. Don't fall for the "it's coming soon but I can't say anything" nonsense. It's far less genuine now than it was 3 years ago and it has nothing to support those claims that it's actually in development, and ironically far more to support mere speculation that she's lying or doing damage control.

And, if it actually is happening, on a shred of belief in that being a possibility, then it sure as shit isn't being marketed well. Knowing how to build hype in a product is an entire course of knowledge. Marvel is practically the king of building hype, they're why people sit until the very end of the credits now in the hopes of seeing an after-credit scene, even in movies that aren't made by them. LO's numbers are bleeding right now, so to not show anything at even the major events like SDCC is a blatant misfire. Almost like there isn't anything to show in the first place.

You can take all of this evidence as you will. Some of it you may dismiss as "overthinking" or whatever have you. And a lot of it is speculation based on the crumbs we've picked up along the way.

But let me pose you this as a final thought: how can it be a good sign when everything being asked about the show, by fans and critics alike, comes down to "Is the show still happening?"

The best time to reveal proof of the LO television show was 3 years ago. The second best time is now.

[mythaura-blog]

Development Update - July 2024

Hi everyone, hope you're having a great summer!

The July 2024 update showcases some extended gameplay footage! In our April 2024 update we showed a clip of a building in 3D space and a player character speaking briefly to Pollis. In just a few short months, Koa and Sark have totally crushed it on the backend development and UI/UX. Plese read on for more info!

We also cover the winners for the Summer Quarter rewards on Ko-fi and Mythauran astrology for the month of August.

Don't forget, we've got a Custom Color Contest! More details below.

Gameplay Demo

We're very excited to share a 3-minute video demo of some gameplay and UI!!

Hopefully you enjoy this brief demonstration of lots of features we've been working on. We'll go into more detail on each feature below!

Please note that these are WIP and not necessarily representative of final gameplay.

New Game Screen

Whether you're starting your first, second, or third playthrough of Mythaura's storyline, you will always begin at the starter screen, where you will be able to customize your starter Beast. Each run you will pick:

Base, Top, Bottom, and Eye colors

Up to 3 Special markings ( up to 1 in first playthrough, 2 in second, 3 in third)

Species (Tier 1 in first playthrough, Tier 2 in second, Tier 3 in third)

Class

Birth element

A Beast's Element and Class will impact its stat distribution, with each one modifying one of a Beast's stats--improving Speed, Hit Points, Attack, Defense, Barrier, or Focus. Additionally, players will have a certain amount of skill points to allocate as they would like to their Beasts' stats. Whether you're opting for more of a roleplay focus or trying to build a more "optimized" build, the character creation system allows players to create the exact Beast that they would like.

New Game +3 and onward will not feature the character creation screen. Instead, players choosing to play through additional times will gain access to a different reward pool. Please stay tuned for that in a future update!

Party Screen/Codex

The party screen will functionally act as the player's home screen. From here, you can check out the Beasts in both your party and Abode, your inventory, the Codex, and more. Your Beast's stats will also show up on the right-hand side of the screen.

The Codex houses pretty much all a player's in-game information. Active and completed (and maybe failed...) quests, player achievements, lore gathered from around the world, and info on all the characters, places, and enemies you encounter in Mythaura are all documented in the Codex.

The base Codex will be a simple, elegant book. Different Codex themes can be earned through various quests, achievements, seasonal rewards, both in-game and premium currency purchase, and other opportunities.

NPC Dialogue

There will be many, many NPCs in Mythaura. Some may not have much to say--a stranger you cross paths with at an open-air market, a merchant's busy apprentice, a parent at a park with their children--but some NPCs have full, fleshed-out storylines of their own. Maybe your character would prefer to keep mostly to themselves, but you will find that engaging with NPCs will uncover information about the world, rumors about other characters, quests, gifts, and more.

Skill Tree Screen

Skill Trees will determine the abilities and moves that a Beast can utilize in battle. Each Beast will have either two or three different Skill Trees that they can invest in, dependent upon their Elements and their Class. Beasts who have the same Element twice--when its species Element matches up with its birth Element--a Beast will have access to a Mastery Tree, which will feature a branch that borrows from other thematically relevant Elements, demonstrating the Beast's complete mastery of their Element.

If a Beast with a Mastery Tree changes to a Species that would give it two separate Elements, all Elements-related Skill Points will be reset in order for the player to reallocate them between the two new trees. The same applies for Beasts that change their Class.

Mythauran Astrology: August

The month of August is referred to as Ghostlight's Pall, representing a pale, ghostly green aurora that stretches across the Northern sky at this time each year--supposedly attributed to the souls stranded by a war that came to a decisive, bloody, and treacherous end during an August many, many lifetimes ago. This month is also associated with the constellation of the Widow and the lepidolite stone.

Those born under the sign of the Widow are resilient, compassionate, enigmatic individuals. There may not be a sign more dedicated to self-discovery and growth. They radiate a quiet strength and boundless compassion that uplifts those fortunate enough to share their journey.

At their best, Widows are soothing, magnanimous, and generous. At their worst, they can be withdrawn, excessively melancholy, and reproachful.

Ko-fi Summer Quarter 2024 Winners

Thank you to all the Ko-fi sponsors who voted for the Summer Quarter 2024 rewards. Next month we will show the finalized artwork for the Venomous Stalker Companion and the Corona Dragon Glamour. Stay tuned!

Custom Color Contest Reminder

In honor of the new color change that we made to a Beast's tongue/mouth, we're opening another Custom Color Contest. We want to offer the opportunity for you to make a permanent impact on Mythaura's color wheel!

This contest is free to enter, and only has the following parameters:

Only one entry allowed

Fill out Google Form by Friday, August 23, 2024 at 11:59pm PST

The dev team will reach out to the winner on September 1 to begin the color design process. Winner will have until September 23, 2024 to complete their color design. Please feel free to use our PSD file, if you'd like!

Winner will also receive 3x copies of the Empemeral Ink that matches their color's base hue (Red, Orange, Yellow, Blue, Green, or Violet).

We're so excited to see what you come up with!

Mythaura v0.30

Over ten new query conditions were added to support dialog and quest complexity.

An interact endpoint was added, allowing players to interact with NPCs using the query builder to power dialog selection.

The game state was refactored to be global, allowing things like "current health" to be maintained outside wild areas.

Query actions have been added, which allow things like dialog to trigger actions in-game.

Various bug fixes made to beast party, beast creation, and beast stats.

Voice types were added to NPCs and beasts.

Beast expression generation was implemented.

NPC tools were added to allow the generation of NPCs from beast codes.

Beast backgrounds have been added.

Thank You!

Thanks for sticking through to the end of the post, we always look forward to sharing our month's work with all of you--thank you for taking the time to read. We'll see you around the Discord!

[arimiadev]

Visual Novel Fest - Steam's attempt to show good will to VN devs

it's August 14th, 10AM CST as I write this, just a couple hours shy of the end of the first Visual Novel Festival held by Steam. I want to take a look at how sloppily this event was handled and how I hope (but doubt) things will change in the future.

Steam has realized since the start of Covid that, because they have the monopoly on PC gaming, they can and should go further with promoting games on their platform. when all of the gaming events were canceled in 2020, Steam took this as an opportunity to launch an idea they most likely had on the back burner for years-

festivals.

these festivals are events hosted on Steam where games that are submitted (and accepted) are promoted on the front page of Steam, a highly coveted spot for developers. these events are all themed like the puzzle games fest or the visual novel fest or the now multi annual steam next fest which features a variety of demos.

to put it in layman's terms, Steam now hosts festivals because they (are supposed to) give a big boost in visibility to games on their platform, a lot of which that will be discounted and sell a lot more copies than on normal days. developers want to get into these festivals because of this added visibility and increase in sales. it's a win win for both groups.

so now, in August 2023, we find ourselves at the Visual Novel Fest. for context, I have been an indie visual novel dev for almost a decade and have been a verified Steam developer for 5 or so years. Steam has held various VN-themed sales and such (namely publisher sales, like Sekai Project's occasional publisher sales) but not a festival just for visual novels. this is a wonderful chance for us indies to get a tiny bit of extra visibility, as selling VNs is hard!

the first problem- we can't get in.

festivals on Steam are opt-in. these themed sales are limited to games that can fit the themes, but these limits are put on the backend- that is, to say, only games that their Algorithm determines should get in can get in.

we think that this Algorithm checks for tags- if the mystery games fest is coming up, it sends out an email to games that have the "mystery" tag on it as games that can enter. however, this system is... it's broken. it's just broken. it was broken for the horror fest, it was broken for the mystery fest, and oh god was it broken for the visual novel fest.

lots of indie visual novels that were properly tagged as "visual novels" with the tag as one of the top tags for the game were never emailed about the fest. instead, we had to reach out to Steam and file an appeal.

these appeals took several weeks.

I don't know of any devs who submitted an appeal that were denied, but it is quite frustrating to have visual novels that are clearly visual novels not be invited to the festival and then have to wait several weeks before someone accepts the appeal.

but once we got invited to the fest, it was all blue skies from ther-

what do you mean they overpromised on features

Steam does additional promotions for their festivals on social media and such, namely making a trailer for the festival that gets shared to a lot of people- there's a lot of eyes on this trailer and they create it from games invited to the festival.

Steam reached out to several western developers and localizers about being featured for this event, including a visual novel I worked on. these features were much more stringent and required us to do more, such as requiring our games to be on sale during the fest (for normal submissions to fest, discounts are not required but encouraged).

one thing some of us skipped over, though... their wording was specifically "we may feature your game". not that they will feature the games that they specifically emailed and followed their stricter requirements, but that they may.

but I'm sure they'll pick some great representations of the visual novel mediu-

what do you mean the walking dead got featured

(click through this embed to find the video)

Steam had emailed several developers of actual visual novels and instead went with the cash grab option since they realized most VNs don't make money and decided to throw the "visual novel" part of the festival out the window.

the real kicker- the walking dead shouldn't have been allowed into the festival by Steam's own guidelines.

in the eligibility guidelines for the visual novel fest (edit: this page is now defunct because I guess they deleted it now that the fest is over??), they specifically mention that games that allow players to free roam will most likely not be eligible.

a ton of actual visual novels weren't invited to this event but don't worry, an interactive game without visual novel elements got featured.

so how did the festival go?

let's talk about the actual fest now.

the walking dead pretty much stayed at the top of categories for the entire festival, overpowering actual visual novels like ace attorney, steins;gate, ai: the somnium files, clannad, and many, many more.

Steam uses sub-genres to help players find more specific types of games easier, but very, very few of these are actually useful for narrative elements as they're mostly geared towards gameplay elements.

on the left is genres and on the right is sub-genres on Steam that were used as tags on games entered into the fest. as you can see, these fail to let players easily find the kinds of visual novels they might be interested in- what if I specifically want to find fantasy yuri? or boys love with trans characters? by in large, these tags are meant for gameplay oriented software, not narrative oriented software like visual novels.

Steam attempts to remedy this by adding categories on the page that has similar games together, but these ultimately fail because of how few there are.

first we have detective as a category. not too bad.

next is psychological horror and puzzle. again, not bad.

after that we have dating sim. most of these look to be dating sims by both the more traditional term (dating sim = a stat raiser with romantic elements) and the broader Western version (dating sim = romance game with multiple routes). I haven't played these specific ones so this is just a cursory glance.

we also have an otome category, wonderful! I wish these categories had a description underneath them, as if we want more people to get into visual novels then they need to have a way to learn these terms easily- "otome" does not immediately tell you "this is a game intended for women where romancing men is typically the goal", so I wish they had included some kind of descriptor for non-VN players glancing at the fest.

last but not least, we have the lgbt+ category- wait that's it?!

yes, those are the only categories highlighted as part of the festival, 3 of which are mystery game-oriented. want queer games, games with lesbians, games about trans experiences, and more? they're all in 1 category despite the wide array of queer visual novels on Steam.

it's extremely sad that one of the most diverse mediums out there always gets pigeonholed by Steam and the gaming community as a whole time and time again. I had good hopes for this festival but it was an extreme let down.

some developers I talked to were able to get a fair amount of visibility from this event, some barely hit more than average views. I hope Steam fests continue to evolve and Steam will expand their sub-genres, but I don't have much hope that they'll be half as good as itch.io's searching functions.

yes its time to shill itch.io

have YOU browsed the indie darling site itch.io recently?? why not??

itch.io is a website for sharing and playing indie games. it's completely free to use, easy to find games you might like, and pretty versatile for devs who might want to sell games, DLC, digital content, and more.

want to find visual novels that are dating sims with female protags and queer? that's easy to find!

want otome visual novels that are only about an hour long? here you go!

want visual novels for windows that are cute and have multiple endings? there's almost 200!

itch.io has a much, much wider range of tags that can be inputted by developers and allows you to search for platform, price, average game length, accessibility features, and more.

Steam will probably never be toppled as the place to get PC games unless they drive their company into the ground, but that doesn't mean we have to settle for it. there are other platforms we can find new indie visual novels and it feels like we're on the edge of a visual novel renaissance for localized VNs on consoles.

so yeah that's my recap of what I've seen from Steam's messy visual novel fest. you can find my own visual novels over here, I make queer games with a focus on fantasy. I also work at Studio Élan, an indie studio making yuri and other lgbt+ focused games.

[piosplayhouse]

Horse Isle 3: The Yandere Sim of Horse Games

(or, an extended study in how to hate your own playerbase as much as humanly possible)

(or, or, tldr there's pretty much no updated information on just how ridiculously bad this game is so here's a writeup on how I got banned and all the subsequent information I found during my time playing for documentation's sake)

Part I. The Backstory

My beloved followers will know that a few months ago I began playing Horse Isle 3, a horse-raising MMO surprisingly released in the year of our horse 2019 despite its 1997-era website and Runescape-esque graphics. Some of my play through (mostly just horse pictures) is chronicled in my tag #homophobic scum horse chronicles ¹ if you want to see how drippy my horses were before they killed me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have endless respect for small teams of game devs that manage to create insanely impressive products-- which HI3's elaborate real-genetics breeding system, its main draw, certainly is. Coding is hard, modeling is hard, moderation is hard. Tip a coin to your local small indie teams that work hard to make incredible art.

However, HI3 is far from an admirable success story about a small dev team that triumphed over its obstacles.

The game is known for a variety of things, chief among them being the staff's rampant homophobia (which has earned it the moniker "the homophobic horse game"), hilariously uncharismatic mods (to the point where one of the main moderators, Connie, is mentioned by NAME in the majority of poor reviews of the game), the dev team's unrepentant rejection of criticism, and racism with a side of downplaying war crimes.

(Screenshots taken from Sitejabber, here)

Now, it's marketed as a game for ages 8+, which, as I've briefly talked about before, is unfortunately a rarity in today's hostile internet climate. I grew up on a variety of typical child friendly MMOs like ye olde Pixie Hollow and PetPet Park, and truly lament that so many of these have been shut down over the years. As such, I have no issue with strict rules or word filters in games, with the caveat that they are effective and genuinely intended to keep people safe. Kids are naive, and can and will say things that they shouldn't (I, for example, got kicked from a Minecraft server when I was 8 because I posted in chat that my mom told me sex wasn't a bad word. things happen). Filters are a very appropriate tool to aid manual moderation of chat features, especially in an environment where mistakes will be made.

However, HI3's, as shown below (words that are forbidden from chat are marked in red), are... questionably selective.

(Screenshot taken by Alice Ruppert, from here)

This appears to be attributed to the fact that along with having horrible moderators, HI3 also seems to have a remarkably horrible developer backend, which is a trend that you'll see pop up quite a lot in this post. Taken straight from the horse's (haha) mouth, the lead developer is the only person who seems to be able or willing to add to the filter list, and for whatever reason only wants to block the "most common inappropriate words"- because saying transgender is more of an issue than nazi and gulag I guess.

(Screenshot taken from Top R.'s Sitejabber review, here)

¹ I'm not sure how far this will reach out of my audience, and since people have already assumed weird stuff about me I thought I should probably clarify-- I'm not calling the game "homophobic scum" ghghg, my play through was focused on making horse versions of characters from a novel called "scum villain", so I took the scum and added horse (I actually have another tag for a different horse breeding game called "scum horse chronicles" so I needed to distinguish them easily but am not very good at tagging). That's it.

Part II. The Game

The game itself is, putting it simply, a mess at best and openly hostile towards newcomers at worst. The game's UI is comparable to your average petsite with 20 thousand things to click on but if you tried to navigate that while also watching the Pilgrim's Progress movie by Scott Cawthorn on 90% of your screen. This is a very good overview of what your experience first logging in will be like, with the added caveat that talking in global chat costs in game currency and that the game doesn't tell you this at ALL until you try to type in chat, and that depending when you log on it's entirely possible that you'll spawn into a completely dead town miles away from anyone who can help you, wilderness survivor-style.

To make things more complicated, information about the game is split between the game itself and the laughably horrible website/forums. Spectacularly enough, the forums, which provide vital game information and rule elaborations, cannot be searched in any way (not via Google or any hard-baked search bar) and are regularly purged by admins to erase evidence of scandals and poor moderation complaints.

Now, something you will find to be generally people's biggest issue with HI3 is their strict no "date-speak" rule, which sounds ok on paper but is worded *just* vaguely enough to give the moderators full jurisdiction over whether or not they think you're breaking the rules. Selective moderation is a major theme in the HI3 chronicle, but it is perhaps most documented with regards to this rule, because what the hell does "boyfriend/girlfriend talk" even mean?? Outside of vagueness, this rule has also been scrutinized extensively by others due to the fact that a pair of previous moderators were openly married with the igns "FrogLips" and "MrsFrogLips". I don't personally think this is super condemning, since kids usually address adults by Mr/Ms etc whether or not they know they're in a relationship, but regardless it's clear that the complete lack of elaboration on what this rule means can be easily manipulated to lodge any number of complaints against people.

(Screenshot from the Horse Isle website rules page, here)

What I will say, however, is that this rule would probably hold more water if the game wasn't literally about breeding horses.

You can pimp out your horses, you can pay others to breed your mares, you can put any number of special (real life currency-bought) amulets on your horses to make them more fertile/have twins/give birth faster. I paid $1000 to castrate Jiang Cheng. The word "stud" (which btw, is another word for a black butch lesbian) is used constantly. Perhaps most shockingly, horse inbreeding is very common and accepted among the community, to the point that it is explicitly mentioned and EXPLAINED in the game guide; the only penalization for it is that your incest product foal will have a lower intelligence stat. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel as though implementing and acknowledging that horses can breed with their own relatives is hmm perhaps more harmful than another player saying the word gay, but what do I know.

(Screenshot from the Horse Isle website game guide page, here (only accessible with an account))

Well, you might ask, after you breed and sell a horse, is there any way to put a brand on it so you know it's from your ranch? That's where the "prefix" system comes in. Prefixes are bolded titles that appear in front of a horses name in lists and in the overworld, and are described in the official game guide as follows:

(Screenshot from the same Horse Isle website game guide page as linked previously)

I think you can toggle them off if you don't want to see them, though I could be wrong. They're basically just 1-5 letter titles you can put on your own horses (nobody else's, importantly). There's no way to search prefixes, and you won't see them in game unless either a horse with a prefix is listed in auctions or you actually encounter someone in-game and see their horse.

In fact, I would learn later that not even the moderators monitor the prefixes, and apparently have no way to mass-delete them. At all.

(Image taken from an anonymous friend)

Now, it's not unusual that a game as complicated as HI3 would inevitably have a pretty taxing server-side code. Millions of multifaceted assets and features is really nothing to scoff at. However, the notion that your lead developer has to perform a manual search in the game's code to delete the equivalent of a stamp from every instance individually is hilarious. I'm not going to pretend to be a game developer, but there HAS to be a better way of coding a feature that intakes user-generated content that should probably be monitored regularly than that, right? Or, at least, there should be a robust filter system that could prevent any issues from occurring before they would need to be fixed so tediously. You might think.

On December 29th, 2022, I discovered how to register a prefix. It's very common to headcanon the characters I was naming my horses after as transgender, and I thought it would be cute to attach "TRANS" to my horses as a nod to this. However, a filter blocked the word. I was disappointed, but not surprised², and then tried to think of another word that was under 5 letters. To my complete and gay surprise, "GAY" was not filtered out, and henceforth, this worked as my prefix.

As you can see on the popup here, there are scant guidelines for what the requirements for a prefix should be. And, in this moment of apparently utter foolishness, I was under the impression that since "GAY" was NOT filtered out despite there clearly being a filter on this function, it was ok to register. Possibly it's not filtered because it's a synonym for "happy", I thought, which is also cute because I do like when horses are happy. Perhaps the staff had learned from their past criticism and had loosened the restrictions slightly because they felt restructuring was appropriate now that gay marriage is legal in the US, I imagined.

(My original post)³

What I could not imagine, however, was that the only reason the word wasn't filtered out, despite being possibly the most common sexuality-related word, was just because the lead dev couldn't be assed to add it to the filter list. And that apparently I was supposed to know this because it would lead to a permanent ban on my second offense with no warning.

² Hence typing "eat shit lol". Admittedly childish of me, but I didn't put a lot of thought into the post because it was just part of a casual silly live blog I was doing to blow off steam. The "if I get banned" tag surprisingly was not referencing "GAY", as I genuinely thought I was in the clear for that for reasons stated above, but because I tried to register "TRANS" and then posted about it online. You don't have to believe me, but I feel the need to defend myself since some people have wildly extrapolated that my actions were malicious instead of just a split second decision I made because I was bored one morning.

³ Despite the pop-up box saying that prefixes cannot be removed, they actually can at any time, given only that the person that owns the prefix unregisters the horse from it. The unregistering mechanic is for whatever reason not told to the player upon registering the prefix, but is mentioned in the official game guide linked above.

Part III. The Ban, The Report

I will preface this section by saying that I played the game normally. I do like being outrageous sometimes for my followers' entertainment, but I really don't like dragging random people into my antics if they aren't interested. Because of this, I really didn't interact with other players unless we were mutuals on some other platform. I rarely used the chat feature except to participate in server-wide events that required team participation, and I typically just explored on my own for fun. In general I think I was a pretty ok player, objectively, which lines up with my user trust score.

You see, the way moderators of HI3 allegedly keep track of rule breaking is through a "user trust score" with points added if you use features in the game, help people, etc, and points deducted if you violate rules. Anecdotally I've heard that around the -10 total points mark is when moderators put you on a sort of list to be monitored for suspension or punishment, which is pretty reasonable.

By the time I was banned, I had a score of +31. The -10 offset was a part of this debacle. The only thing I had ever done in the game which warranted any kind of violation was, as you will soon see, literally just naming about 30 of my own horses "GAY", a sin egregious enough to apparently offset about 200 hours worth of playtime with no issues.

Because of this, I was a little bit confused on multiple levels. For one, I had never even seen a moderator in game, nor been informed of discipline at any time before. On top of that, their permanent ban notification is extremely strange and vague. The text pop up when you try to log in just reads "Account currently banned -1 minutes ().", which is probably just copied straight from the server-side code for things and just wasn't translated into user-side comprehensibility. You'll also notice there is a "()" section in the notification, which I would assume is where they put the reason for bans, except for the fact that mine was completely blank.

The website which allegedly would hold more info just repeated a near identical code: "BANNED! -1min. Reason:".

So, with nothing else to go off of, I messaged support on the jankiest help center submissions I've ever seen on a website with this:

"Insisting" and "total disregard" are very strong words to use for a situation in which I just typed a word into a textbox because the game let me, I'd think, which is why I tried to reason with her. The prefixes mentioned in my message are well-known amongst the userbase and are much older and wider-spread than mine, so I would think that there would be at least some sort of precedent for this. The "geldings and yearlings" reasoning was mostly a joke, but also intended to express that the nature of an acronym (as the majority of prefixes seemed to be) is that it can be interpreted in many ways. Intent was thrown around a lot when I was discussing the issues of prefixes with other users, and it seemed to have been used to excuse previous behavior in situations where mods liked the users in question better.

I also cannot emphasize enough how much they did not warn me about my prefix being removed. When I logged in and saw my horses' names did not include it, I was suspicious that the moderators removed it just because of the history of their behavior. However, I had no hard evidence because they did not inform me at ALL. Not through in-game mail systems, not through server messages, not through the website. Complete radio silence except for the addition of an unexplained "-10" to my user score. I did complain to some people that I thought it was removed, but a combination of things suggested that it wasn't a huge deal, so I mostly let it lie. For one, I had over 100 hours of playtime and was mildly worried that one of my chat messages had been flagged without my knowledge. For another, my profile text had also mysteriously disappeared, probably because of a glitch, so who knows what could happen in this game. Lastly, I went to the prefix registry again just to check and hilariously enough, they didn't actually block "GAY" from the database. Yeah, they apparently individually deleted it from all of my horses, but couldn't be assed to add such an "inappropriate" word to their filter system.

So I just registered it again and publicly told people that I would do it again if the mods didn't actually tell me to stop. I didn't really care about the prefix because to me, the feature was purely cosmetic. All I wanted was transparency from the staff.

Well, anyway, I assume Connie couldn't think of a comeback, so she just closed my report. I was annoyed because quite literally none of my questions were answered and she didn't even refer to anything in specifics. It would take less than 1 second to type the number of the rule I violated, but I guess that was too much work for her.

I tried to give them as many outs as possible to just apologize about poor communication, but they didn't even take the bare minimum. I would also like to mention that this support ticket process is the ONLY way to directly communicate with any staff. There's no ability to upload files or images on this system, and no email listed that you could contact. So essentially, there's no way to give actual evidence for anything you say even if you want to.

Kat, who is known as the slightly-more-reasonable-but-still-pretty-bad mod then picked up the case. Her response actually provided specific information, which made it leagues above Connie's, but still included some very strange elements for sure.

The notion that this game is intended for a worldwide audience is especially funny to me because you would really think if they cared about other countries they wouldn't violate their own rule one by using a slur for Europe's largest ethnic minority, but ok. It's a weird hill to die on considering how USA-dominated the staff's opinions towards rules are (Connie justifies the usage of a slur for Rromani people based off the opinion of a single roommate she had who reclaimed it, Joe defends a store in-game being called "The Gulag" because Americans don't think gulags are that bad (discussed and cited in the conclusions section)). But then again, picking and choosing what parts of other countries' customs you want to respect is very American, which is why I think they should add an extra star rating for its patrioticness on the website.

As I mentioned before, the prefixes I included in my response are definitely older and more commonly-used than mine, so I'm not sure how they wouldn't have seen them before. This comment also ties back to the suggestion that the moderators have very little control or insight over a distinct feature of their game, which is not a great thing to admit so casually.

Kat has a strange habit of immediately contradicting herself in the same paragraph, as can be seen here. "The glitches never happen and bugs were quickly fixed, but games still have bugs". "People that break the rules usually write in to ask what was wrong, but most people usually never ask". At this point I think we can confidently say that they don't even make an attempt to proofread any of their responses, to be honest.

Her 7th paragraph has one of my favorite lines in this exchange. "If we had to notify players every time we made moderator changes to their account we would spend 24 hours a day" is giving huge Yandere Dev "stop emailing me because I have to spend 24 hours a day reading all my emails instead of coding" energy. You really have to wonder why these people that seem to hate moderating so much are moderators.

You can tell by my response, but I do not like the use of "most" and "usually" in this at all. What's your standard isn't others' standards, and this is a topic which needs to be navigated gently, especially when kids are concerned. I never played the previous Horse Isles. I had no experience with the mod team, or with violations, or with anything because no one bothered to take five seconds to send me a message. No, I did not know that you would permaban me for typing a word that's in one of the most popular traditional Christmas songs in a place were only people who interacted with me would be able to see it. Most games would not do this. To take a lackadaisical approach to your literal job of community management because you want people to moderate themselves is contradictory to your claims of keeping children safe.

I will admit I was being a bit cheeky here as a subtle hint that perhaps they should take feedback, but I also would have taken a genuine response. I try my best to be as polite as possible to tech support staff because not everyone is! But they're people too and a simple thank you is worth a lot in customer service, even virtual. But Kat... you're not really giving me anything to work with here! If anyone reading this has feedback for how I could've rephrased things, feel free to comment them honestly. I actually ran drafts of these messages through a few people before sending them to make sure I was as concise and polite as possible, even if support clearly wasn't interested in reciprocating the effort ("following out rules using the the GAY to begin with"...?).

Part IV. The Backlash

I won't go too into depth in this section because it's more personal than documentarian, so feel free to skip to the next section if you want!

After this, the girlies were not happy with me. The one saving grace of HI3 that I've heard pop up over and over again is that the community is great. And a lot of users are! Don't think I'm disparaging people who play the game because I'm not-- it's a really fun experience with the right people. I was in a Discord server with a lot of people who were extremely helpful and kind.

However, within the community, there's also a pervasive culture of silence. According to Alice Ruppert of The Mane Quest, a lot of people will refuse to go public with their complaints about the staff due to fear of retribution, which I feel is unfortunate but understandable. There's a pressure to shut up and eat your food lest you be seen as someone causing controversy for the sake of it and ruining the sanctity of the game, which is an attitude explicitly encouraged by the staff (discussed more in the next section).

I liveblogged my entire correspondence with the support team to a group of other players for the 2 days I talked to them, and did have a lot of acceptance from people who appreciated someone speaking out. After the 2020 Mane Quest article, public information had sort of just gone dark as the community was pushed further into niche seclusion, despite things not improving at all. However, towards the end of my messaging, a group of people that I had never even spoken to or seen online before accused me of a variety of things ranging from "displaying my sexuality to children" (note: all I ever did was name my horses "GAY". I never once talked about my own sexuality in-game, nor did I say the word in chat ever) to "joining the server to cause drama" to "mocking the lgbt community by throwing around the word gay" (actually I'll attach a picture of this one even though I don't want to put people on blast in this section just because its so funny).

I think most of this can be attributed to the game having gained such a notoriety that longtime players, especially those with strong nostalgic feelings, have become completely desensitized to it. And this compounds with the fact that the game is so niche it doesn't yet have a good alternative to turn to to create a toxic cocktail where people tell themselves that they have to be loyal to the staff to play this one of a kind game-- and that anyone who doesn't follow them just doesn't understand. It's really sad, honestly.

Part V. Conclusions

I don't necessarily think the devs of HI3 are legitimately consciously homophobic-- unfortunately LGBT rights are still controversial amongst the largely southern and rural population of horse enthusiasts, and I could understand if they felt it necessary to skim the line towards conservatism to maintain a userbase. It's cowardly and dumb but it's not a sin to do what you have to do to survive in a capitalistic hellscape as cutthroat as the game industry.

However, what I do think the devs are is power-hungry and hypocritical. They have failed at every turn at community management because they're unwilling to admit they make mistakes, instead choosing to issue non-apologies like "[we] regret you guys got so upset and did not realize neither our true intentions nor motivations nor the whole situation [that we said it's ok that a player has a shop called The Gulag because it's 'not direct or violent']". To respond this way to a userbase filled allegedly with young children as a fully grown adult with a wife and kids is laughably out of touch. 'Sorry your fee-fees were hurt by our adult moderator responding to a serious complaint about inappropriate user-generated content with "lol", but actually you just misunderstood us and we're going to ban anyone who brings this up again' is the sort of response you'd see from the teenage mod team of an Undertale amino, not the supposedly responsible head dev of a 'rare oasis of kid friendly content'.

Telling an audience of impressionable kids that the fact that their feelings are hurt is their fault for not intuiting the intentions of 40+ year old adults is unbelievably toxic, and it's no wonder why people are so nostalgia-bound to feverishly shut down criticism about the games. They've been guilt-tripped into believing the mod team can do no wrong and any controversy, even if valid, that springs up is just extrapolated by people that haven't been laboriously groomed to know what the mod team wants to hear.

Countless times throughout my time researching and playing the game, the number one advice I've heard has always been "suck up to the mods or they won't do anything for you". It's crystal clear that the moderators care more about the joy they get from having power over some 200 users who will kiss their ass if they say a buzzword more than they care about you, your child, or the game itself.

It's essentially a model scam Kickstarter's wet dream, a game propelled to release and popularity by its singular defining feature and left to fester on the shelf as the only game in its niche market. Because of this, I believe there's truly no better way to describe HI3, with its messy backend, refusal to improve, narcissistic moderators, broken features, poor visuals, and inefficiency than as the Yandere Simulator of horse games.

[appolojustice]

Okay I think I'm actually going to say something about this because I have thoughts now that I think are coherent enough to be worth putting together.

But the thing is. I just do not feel like Lucanis being unable, under any circumstances, to forgive Rook for Treviso is congruent with his character as presented to us. At least not because "oh, he's passionate and complex!"

To be clear, I think there are circumstances where he would find it hard, if not impossible to forgive. I think certain role-play choices in that moment and the moments after would be hard for him to move past, because he does care about Treviso so deeply. I think there SHOULD be versions of that quest that end in a lockout.

I just think there are other scenarios where the situation is completely different. And I'm thinking specifically of Shadow Dragon Rook here, partly because I'm biased as a Shadow Dragon player, but also because I think it's the clearest example of the logic of the whole thing falling apart.

Because there are Shadow Dragon Rooks who, depending on how you want to role-play them, love their city as much as Neve does. As much as Lucanis loves his. Who go to their city because they are scared and need to be with their family. And, by the way, the Shadow Dragons are decimated by the decision to help Treviso. They are all but wiped out in the aftermath, so it's not like Rook is wrong to worry, to be afraid.

The reason Rook's decision on which city to help actually matters is because of Solas' dagger. That's the only deciding factor in the two fights, the only thing that makes the dragon engage and actually fight the veilguard was that the gods saw that dagger. And this was a subtle enough change in the tides that a lot of PLAYERS didn't realize that's what was happening. There's no way that Rook or any of the others could have known that Rook's presence would make or break either city.

So you're telling me. That with the heart he has. Lucanis, who has in him the capacity to forgive Caterina. The capacity, under the right circumstances, to forgive ILARIO. THAT Lucanis. He would look at a Tevene Rook. Who made the same choice, really, as Neve did. As he HIMSELF did. And he'd never be able to forgive them for that? No matter what came after?

And the frustrating thing is, if they wanted to make the lockout convincing, they could have. If they had said that the Treviso disaster left him distraught enough that romance is the farthest thing from his mind, if it locked ALL romances for him, I would have believed it. At least then you're committing. If they'd chosen to lean into the fact that Lucanis has a SPITE demon in his body, a demon that could have latched onto Rook as the cause of the destruction and fueled Lucanis' resentment, I could maybe see that. But they didn't really do that either???? Spite doesn't come into play at ALL with how Lucanis feels after Treviso, except in that he's even LESS willing to hear the demon out.

It just....it feels so obvious that the lockout was a result of lack of resources or time to devote to creating two different romance paths, and then they tried to find a narrative reason to cover that on the backend. Which isn't necessarily a problem in itself, given what Veilguard's development was like. I'll never fault the devs here for not being able to execute certain things, because by all accounts it's a miracle we got what we did.

But I wish, if it was the case (and I guess it's possible it wasn't, though I REALLY suspect it was) that the lockout was for mechanical reasons, they would own it. Say, "oh, we just couldn't make it work on the development side, so here's what we think the narrative reason might be." Instead, we get "He's a complex character". And I'm sorry, but....it's kind of the opposite here. You kind of have him written as seeing this issue very black and white, when it's a complex, emotionally fraught decision for Rook to make.

And yeah, real people are complex. They do things that are contradictory to their nature, their beliefs. But fiction works by different rules than real life. It's the "he would not fucking say that" rule, right? If you're going to have a character do something that seems contradictory to who they are, you have to make the audience feel that.

And if you wanted, if this was really a narrative choice and not a "reality of game dev" one, you could have fleshed it out. You could have had him be furious. You could have had how he feels about Rook after Treviso super dependent on the context— where Rook is from, how Rook handles the decision (Did they send at least some people to Treviso? Or did they take everyone to Minrathous? That could have been a call you make), how Rook justifies themselves afterwards, how they make amends. (Do you do all of the Crows quests in the aftermath?) I hate to be that person but in Origins we wouldn't be having this conversation, yeah? Because in Origins there would have been Six different things you could say to Lucanis after the mission, and two of them would have locked his romance completely, one would have made him leave the party, a few would have been neutral, and maybe one or two would have set you back on the path to recovering the trust that had been broken.

Talking with @baneoftoasters about how like. Actual complexity would have been an arc. Actual complexity would have been him being furious, hurt, betrayed, but having the option to either grow from that and regain some or all of that trust, or spiral further into resentment and maybe even hate.

I like the veilguard characters a lot!!!! I do. Most of the time the loss of some of the complexities of the role-playing we got in Origins doesn't bother me all that much, because I think it's a fair call if the devs WANT to move in a more streamlined direction. But it does feel sort of wack to not see where people are coming from when they say that the lockout doesn't make sense as it is. It could have made sense, but it doesn't.

I don't think you get to use the "complex character" card when you're not putting in the work to make that true.

[chamiryokuroi]

hi! any advice on getting your first software developer job?? I've been trying but it's hard and tiring 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I've barely got two internships but they kind of feel like they're just using me for free labor rather than try to teach me sth like they say they will

Hi sure here are some suggestions!

First of make sure you know exactly what you’re interested in working on, do you want backend or front end? Older code maintenance or newer technologies? Make sure to let interviewers knows what you are interested in, saying you’re willing to learn is good, but showing interest on what you want to work on is also great.

If you lack the experience look up companies that offer trainee positions, and then research the company before applying, a trainee is different from a internship, you are expected to have background knowledge but they usually do not require any experience and they’re actually paid (less than an actual development job but is a good starting point to get the experience).

Look up interview questions online, and study them, DO NOT memorize them, but take them as a starting point, trust me I have done interviews myself for my company and it is pretty obvious who memorized the 100 core java interview questions and who actually understands what they’re talking about.

Logic is very important for development and it might be possible they ask you some during your interview, they did in mine and it wasn’t even code related.

“If you have a 3 gallon jug and a 5 gallon jug how would you measure 4 gallons exactly?”

“You have a cake, how would you divide it into 8 equal slices with only 3 cuts?”

These kind of logic questions, never hurts to try some of them on your own, there are many online quizzes.

But above all be confident, know your worth and don’t give up!

[blbl-official]

Hello, everyone!

As progress continues on BLBL, our BL library website that will catalog original English BL (M/M) webnovels, novels, ebooks, graphic novels, visual novels etc.., we’re looking for more volunteers!

(Thanks to everyone who voted on the names 🥰)

If you’re interested in the following and have time to complete the task(s) (with at least one other person, in a team), then please contact @bafflinghaze:

Branding: logo design

Marketing: art/graphic design for marketing purposes

Wireframing/Web design: help iterate and finalise designs

Web development: backend and frontend (need to be able to work with others)

We also need data collectors (gathering information from novels and uploading it to our to-be-created system) and website content copywriters (writing all the miscellaneous text that a website needs), but this is less urgent. If you’re interested, also contact bafflinghaze.

[chomuggaacapri]

mojang releases a buggy mess with terrible balance and godawful visuals as an april fools prank

"oh my god how come mojang puts so much effort into their april fools jokes but barely tries with their full releases???? this game is so bad."

Mojang spends months polishing big new additions and modifying the backend of the game to be more adaptable and run smoother, all while keeping it visually, mechanically, and technologically polished

"ugh this game has gone so downhill I cant believe they barely add anything every year they're so lazy why not just add all of the mobs its so stupid"

Minecraft is a great game with a great development team who has to release updates for a playerbase that generally hasn't paid for their game in upwards of a decade. Just because you don't spend an extra 1,000 hours on the new thing every year doesn't mean the updates are terrible or that they're lazy. Just because they have a little vote to have community engagement doesn't mean they're lazy. (In fact, adding all three mobs would REMOVE COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT ENTIRELY because Mojang chooses the mobs that go in the mob vote. How do people not realize that. It's one mob. Chill out.)

[bellysoupset]

I cannot find the ask who requested for sick Wendy + Bella caretaker, so maybe it never existed at all.... Anyway, have some pure sick bromance between my girls.

--------------

"You think I should cut it?" Bella frowned at her reflection, glaring at her hair. She was standing inside of the changing room of the store, in just a swimsuit, so Wendy could help her pack for honeymoon.

"Your beautiful lion mane?" Wendy scoffed, curling up on the puff she was sitting on and absently minded going through the rack of reject bikinis standing next to her, "are you crazy?"

"Sometimes I feel like it stands out more than I do," Bella pouted, hands on her waist and then sighed, tugging on the swimsuit, "so what do you think?"

"I liked the blue one more," Wendy studied her from head to toe, "but I also think you're going to give Luke a stroke."

Bella opened a big, smug smile, looking over her shoulder to stare at her ass in the mirror, "good, then I'm taking it as well," she walked over to the private part of the changing rooms in order to get back in her clothes, "so how's the extra class you were gonna start taking coming along?"

"Which one of them?" Wendy asked, getting up and checking the price tag of a cute little pink bikini with a matching skirt.

"How many classes are you taking!?" Bella opened the curtain of her changing part, unbothered by the fact she was just in her bra and panties, "aren't you also doing the neurology residency!?"

"Well, you see, I have a lot of free time," Wendy shrugged, "and a lot of energy."

"You should join my boxing class then," Bella zipped up her black leather pants, "Jonah's there and I'm kicking his ass."

"No, you're not," Wendy giggled at the transparent lie, "no coach would ever match you up with Jonah, Bell, he's huge."

"Please," Bella rolled her eyes, putting on her band t-shirt and grabbing her purse as well as the picked swimsuits and bikinis, "I could kick his ass, I know I could," she walked over to Wendy and grabbed the smaller woman by her shoulders, "come up for a class."

"I'll think about it," Wendy wrinkled her nose in distaste. A gym wasn't exactly her idea of fun. Sure, she did hot yoga, but there was none of the loud upbeat music and shouting at each other to do more and better.

"So what else are you studying then, Tink?" Bella walked to the cashier part. Wendy handed her the piece she was planning to buy for herself when her friend flashed Luke's black card before her eyes with raised eyebrows, wordlessly putting it on his tab and Bell didn't comment besides snorting at it.

"Interior Design classes every Monday and Thursdays, yoga every Saturday morning, fashion drawing every Tuesday night... I wanted to try ballroom dancing, but my partner is in freaking Doveport and Jon said he already knows and it would be no fun."

Bella wrinkled her nose and shook her head when Wendy opened her mouth as if to ask her, "absolutely not."

"Boo," Wendy sighed, "I think we should take some class together, it'd be cool. Babs is in my hot yoga class and it's a lot of fun."

"Sure," Bella picked up the bags and they started to walk out of the door, "but not ballroom dancing, thank you. I'm actually participating in a coding challenge right now and-"

"A coding challenge," Wendy raised her eyebrows, "what's that?" They walked the short distance between the store and Wen's apartment building.

"Basically I have to try and design a mockup app with the monthly theme," Bella explained and Wendy frowned at that.

"I thought that was your job...?"

"No," Bell followed her inside the elevator, "I'm a backend developer, a frontend does the design and thinks the interface, I do the math that makes it work. But I like UI design, so that's why-"

"God, you're so nerdy," Wendy grumbled, resting against the metal and grimacing slightly as the movement made her stomach lurch, "I can't believe you didn't get shoved into lockers when you were younger, Bell."

The ginger rolled her eyes, "that's because I was always hot," she showed the other woman her tongue like a five year old, running a hand through her curls and then frowning, noticing Wendy's face had lost its usual pink tone.

Bella opted for not saying anything and they kept chatting, walking into Wendy's apartment. However, the longer they talked, the more Bell realized she was the one doing most of the talking, Wendy getting quieter and quieter.

"Wen," Bella pouted, after spending a good thirty minutes talking basically on her own, "do you want me to go? I don't need to spend the night if you're tired-"

"No!" Wendy exclaimed, shaking her head and moving on her spot on the couch, "sorry, no, I don't want you to leave. We planned you'd spend the night, I was looking forward to that, it's just-"

"It's just?" Bell leaned in, confused and Wendy grimaced, moving again as if she couldn't find a comfortable position, "what's wrong, Wen?"

"My stomach is bothering me," Wendy's cheeks turned a deep shade of red, "I don't know what's wrong, I know I didn't eat anything off, but it's all gurgly and kinda crampy."

"Oh," Bella raised her eyebrows, "do you think it could be hunger?"

Wendy shook her head, "no, definitely not hunger, I feel a little queasy..." she pouted, hugging her knees, "I'm sorry, its just my stomach- I- It's a bit of a sore topic."

"Your belly?" Bella frowned, more confused than before, "you feeling sick to your stomach is a sore topic?"

Wendy nodded, pouting and resting her cheek to her knee, "yeah..."

"Why?" Bella crawled on the couch, moving closer, "because you're chubby? That's silly, babe-"

"No," Wen scoffed, before pausing, "I mean, sorta? I used to have issues with my weight back when I was a teen, which led to becoming bulimic and, well, I don't have an eating disorder anymore, but every time I feel like I'm gonna barf, it makes me feel disgusting-"

"Okay," Bella raised a hand to interrupt her, "your order of priorities is a little skewered, Wen. You should've started by telling me you think you're going to puke..." she opened a small, amused smile, "let's go sit in the bathroom, c'mon."

"No," Wendy curled up more, "I'm fine, it's gonna pass- You're not gonna say anything about..?" she raised a judgmental eyebrow and Bell shrugged, standing up from the couch.

"I don't have anything to say," she said in a nonchalant manner, "I'm happy you don't do it anymore...?"

Wendy let out a snort, noticing how uncomfortable Bella seemed being in the emotional caretaker role. She rolled her eyes, "okay, Bells," but the humor quickly vanished, as her lunch flipped yet again. Wendy let out a sigh, curling up in a smaller ball, "I feel gross."

"You're not," Bella patted her head, "c'mon, let's go sit in the bathroom before you ruin your pretty rug."

Wendy didn't have the heart to tell Bell that sitting in the bathroom waiting to throw up really made her feel more awful, not less. She fidget uncomfortably as Bella rummaged through her cabinet drawers until she found a good claw clip to pull Wen's hair back.

Then she sat down as well on the cold ground and planted a hand on Wendy's back, "you feel a little warm, Wen."

"Isn't that just grand," Wendy groaned, leaning forward and staring at the still water of the toilet. She pushed away, fanning herself, "can you go sit in the living room? I don't want you to see me like this..."

"Nope," Bella popped the P at the end of the word, pulling Wendy to lie against her, "sucks for you, but I'm not going anywhere. Come here- Come here-" Bell pulled her closer, draped across her lap and planted a hand on Wendy's unsettled tummy, "I do this for Luke all the time and it helps."

"That's because your husband is an overgrown puppy, I'm not," Wendy groaned, but she couldn't help but melt at the soft touch. Even if her whole face was aflame, Bella was being really delicate, moving her fingers to the sorest spots as if she already knew them by memory.

The ginger slid down slightly, muffling a yawn and pressing the heel of her hand to Wendy's tummy. The pale skin was pushing out, bloated, and every time Bell pressed it she could feel a string of gurgles under her fingers, traveling up-

"Oh, you silly idiot," Bella scoffed, flicking at Wendy's ear, "the belly rub doesn't help if you don't burp. That's the entire point of it!"

"You're killing me," Wendy groaned, pressing her face to Bell's leg and hiding the angry blushing overtaking her cheeks. Bella snorted at that, continuing the rub.

"I'm trying to help," she whispered, "tell me know if I'm making it worse."

"Not worse," Wendy squirmed, then a burp rushed up before she could muffle it and she let out a whine at the loud noise, covering her face, "oh God- I'm sorry-"

"You're so silly," Bella chuckled, "that's nothing, Wen.”

Wendy cringed, pressing her face further to Bella’s thigh and continuing to burp, trying to muffle them. The burps, that at first were making her feel better, got progressively wetter, until one brought her lunch with it and Wendy scrambled up, slapping a hand over her lips and rushing for the toilet. 

She didn’t vomit, it went back down, but left her feeling shaky, nausea causing cold sweat to break on her forehead and over her upper lip, flooding her mouth with a horrible taste. 

“Wen,” Bell planted a hand in the middle of her back, “what do you need? What’s wrong?”

Wendy groaned, lifting herself slightly so she could press her sick stomach against the porcelain and resting her forehead on her hand, elbow on the seat, “can’t puke… Wanna puke, I feel-” she spat again, the act of speaking causing more saliva to come up, “feel sick…”

“Okay,” Bells continued to rub her back, short nails making a scratching motion, “do you think drinking something might help it come up?”

She felt so horrid, talking about vomiting like that. Wendy nodded, before letting out a groan, almost a sob. Not quite crying, but close. At least this time it wasn’t her fault she was sick, silver linings. 

“Babe,” Bella sighed, returning from the bathroom sink with a glass of water, “hey, you’re okay, it’s just a stomach bug. Happens to everyone…” 

Wendy took the glass with shaky, sweaty fingers and forced herself to gulp it down. The first sip was actually good, pushing back the horrible taste and the stickiness in her mouth, only for the throat to seemingly close up, tongue curling with disgust, making it incredibly hard for the to swallow more-

“Fuck,” Wendy haphazardly shoved the glass in Bella’s general direction, not even sure if she took it or not before letting go and her whole back arching with a violent heave. Nothing came up, but it set off a chain reaction, her belly squeezing before she could catch her breath and another two gags, until a wet burp brought up a huge gush of half digested french fries and a milkshake.

The sheer volume made her feel like she was drowning and Wendy coughed, hacking again and letting out a string of moans as even more puke rushed up, splashing on her fingers, and making her head swim with the lack of oxygen.

“I got you, I got you,” Bella said softly, cupping her forehead and flushing the toilet, helping Wendy lean over it, “get it up, Tink, you’ll feel better soon.”

“Urgh,” Wendy spat in the now clear swirling water, struggling to breathe. Her nose was stinging and it felt blocked, she felt cold all over… “Can I have more- More wa-” she never did finish that sentence, her stomach contracting violently and more puke rushed up, this time actually choking her. 

Wendy folded almost completely with a coughing fit, feeling Bell thump her back and force her to straighten up in order to clear her airways, “big breaths, babe,” Bella tipped her chin back, forcing Wendy to look up, and some clear air to make it through. 

The smaller girl groaned as oxygen came back, her spine giving up on her and she fell back, only for Bella to grab her by the wrists and stop her from swan diving and hitting her head against the porcelain. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck — Hey, Wen? You with me?”

“Uhm,” Wendy closed her eyes, dizzy and nauseous, still gulping for air. She leaned to the left, her cheek meeting something soft, so Wen let her weight drop against it, “feel…” a little burp interrupted her, “really shitty.”

She heard Bella let out a relieved sigh at her being responsive, then the ginger’s hands on her face, something wet wiping her lips and chin. Wendy frowned, a new wave of humiliation washing over her, “don’t do that…”

“Shush it,” Bell scoffed, pulling her to lie against her, “you’re done? Surely you must be empty…”

“Don’t know…” Wen mumbled, planting a hand to her tummy. Bella had pushed up her top and it was still up, which made Wendy feel even worse. She must be a sight. Under her hand, there was a string of bubbles and gurgles, rushing up and causing her to let out a little sickly burp, “don’t feel done.”

“There ain’t no way,” Bella scoffed, but there was an amused tone to her words, “well, okay, do you want to just wait it out here or-”

Wendy forced her eyes open, feeling more than a little dizzy. It took her a second to realize she was pressed against Bella’s side, her cheek against her friend’s boob, causing her whole face to turn pink with embarrassment. She pulled back, then leaned forward over the toilet once more and shoved a finger inside her mouth, only for Bella to yank at her hand. 

“No, absolutely not,” Bella’s voice was harsh now, none of the previous lighthearted air, “you’re not doing that.”

“I don’t feel good…” Wendy whined, spitting in the water, “I want it out…”

“I don’t care, you’re not doing that,” Bella scoffed, then in a calmer tone she said, “let me rub your tummy, okay? Maybe it’ll help.” 

“No, Bell, I-” Wendy heaved, a mouthful of watery vomit falling in the water and leaving her panting, “I need to puke, my stomach feels sour and like it’s burning…” 

“Alright,” Bella had a practical tone that caused Wendy to groan, like she was a little engineering problem for her friend to solve. The ginger got behind her, pushing the glass of water back to Wendy, “big gulps.”

“Not- Not gonna-”

“Big gulps,” Bella repeated, voice firm, “c’mon, Wendy.”

Wendy sighed, blowing out another airy burp and then forcing herself to drink the rest of the water. It landed in her stomach like acid, causing more of the burning sensation that tickled her throat and Wendy groaned, leaning more-

Bella touched her belly, her fingers no longer that soft, pressing the heel of her hand to Wendy’s bloated upper stomach, right where it rounded out of her rib cage. The pressure caused a gurgly burp to come up and Wen moaned, squeezing the toilet seat with both hands, as Bell continued to literally squeeze her tummy. 

She couldn’t breathe properly, making a slightly wheezy sound, and then her stomach contracted once more, sharply, and Wendy moaned her way as another gush exploded out of her mouth. This time it was mostly sour, salty water, but the first gush opened the gates for the rest and she continued to gag, puking little mouthfuls of chunkier stuff, until she finally let out a deafening heave, whole back curling as her stomach forced up the last of it.

Wendy groaned, her knees giving in and she felt Bella wrap her up with an arm, flushing the toilet, “there you go,” the ginger pressed a kiss to the top of her head and Wendy would have started crying, if she wasn’t half convinced she already was. 

She whimpered, pushing her face against Bella’s stomach and falling into an awkward position across the woman’s lap. Bell seemed unbothered, combing her fingers through Wendy’s hair, then moving her hand to her tummy.

“How are you feeling?”

“Pathetic, disgusting, horrible-”

Bella glared at her, “that’s all bull,” she said sharply, “I wanna know how’s your belly.”

“Ah… Better. Not settled,” Wendy sighed, curling up her knees, “I think it’s the flu.”

“I think it’s the flu too,” Bell agreed, “you’re really warm. Think you can stand up? You need to get out of these clothes and into bed.”

“Not now,” Wendy mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut when shaking her head no caused the bathroom to blur, “I’m sorry you had to-”

“Madre de Dio, Wendy!” Bella cried out, “babe, you didn’t gross me out or whatever, just stop fucking apologize. It’s fine, you got sick, that happens.”

Wendy let out a whine, forcing her eyes open, all feverish and emotional and wanting to die, “you don’t think I’m gross? I mean, I-”

“Wendy,” Bella grabbed her cheeks, forcing their eyes to meet, “what world do you live in where we’re running beauty contests on the bathroom floor?”

The phrase caused Wendy to let out a chuckle, pulling back and forcing herself to sit up. She wiped at her forehead, desperately wanting out of her the clothes that were sticking to her, “I guess.”

“You guess,” Bella repeated, dryly and rolling her eyes, “that’s a ten for Wendy Marshall for puking her guts up with class and elegance, minor sobbing and almost no mess.”

Wendy’s cheeks caught on fire and she glared at her friend, “shut up, Bella.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Bell scoffed, getting up and extending her hand to help her up, “c’mon, let's get you in a shower and then in bed.”