#Who Is Charlie Keeper

[ratasum]

HOKAY SO. Vezz and Tybalt.

If anyone was surprised to make friends, Vezz certainly was. Garrus was nice enough when they met, but Tybalt had an air about him that was oddly familiar to Vezz. It was something he came to recognize as time passed as that same sense of a lack of self worth... an inner bitterness towards one's self as a result of mistakes made in the past.

It's starting with this that the two of them find their first common ground. It's unusual for Vezz, finding himself encouraging someone else. But he can see in Tybalt that same doubt and uncertainty. Something bubbling under the surface.

They become good friends in a sohrt time, and Tybalt's constant striving to be and do better helps Vezz start to come out of his fatalistic slump. While not a death chaser, he would have welcomed death if it came for him, and it's with Tybalt (and Garrus by extension since they were both with him) that he realizes that there can be more to his life.

Tybalt's death was the catalyst. He believed what he was doing was right, and believed in his ability to do it.

And in turn, Vezz made a decision to start trying harder. To start actually pushing through instead of being a convenient hammer Zojja swung at her new problem.

He could do this. And he would do this. In memory of a dear friend.

Which just makes me having chosen the path of "letting someone down" as his fear all the more harsh. But it does come back to my mentioning of showtunes, because this particular song makes me think of Vezz reflecting on Tybalt, especially while they're dealing with the whole Syska situation.

Stupid hubris, no excuses I blew my fuses, I guess I'm just a ruse in my father's shoes Not amusin', no confusin' this streak of losin' Totally brutal and useless too How can I be the soul of a man, noble and wise Like the soul of a man who lifted me high? Like the soul of a man, heroic and true Like the soul of a man that I looked up to What else could I— Just when I'm reaching for that rung at the top I'm that broken heel unsteady, and ready, ready to drop When will I be the soul of a man, noble and wise Like the soul of a man who lifted me high? Soul of a man, heroic and true Like the soul of a man I looked up to What else could I do?

[marinerainbow]

Since I made his human last name Renfield, I keep thinking about that moment between Renfield and Mina from the movie, but with human Psycho and Poppy

[dream-with-a-fever]

ron weasley did not

come to privet drive to rescue harry from his abusive home after he hadn’t been replying to any of his letters and he was worried

almost back out of following the spiders bc they’re his biggest fear, but upon seeing hermione’s empty seat at dinner, find the courage to go

defend hermione from any and everyone who called her a mudblood

constantly worry about hermione’s workload (especially in 3rd year) and notice that whenever she disappeared

offer to teach hermione his entire family tree so that she could pretend to be pure blood to keep her safe from death eaters

defend harry to everyone (percy, seamus, half the school) when everyone thought he was lying about voldemort’s return

stand up on his broken leg in front of harry and say that “if you want to kill harry, you’ll have to kill us first!” to what they believed to be a raving lunatic mass murderer

gift dobby his newest weasley jumper and the new socks he got given for christmas

stand up against snape when he was bullying hermione (and got a detention as a result)

beg the deatheaters who were torturing hermione to “leave her alone!! take [him], have [him] instead!”

always check up on his friends when he notices something is up, even if it’s in subtle ways

immediately befriend harry on the train in ps and teach him about the wizarding world

write to charlie immediately so he could help hagrid out of trouble (re the dragon, norbert)

encourage neville to stand up to people, and praise him when he actually does it

help harry put on his pajamas after he broke his arm during quidditch

have to be physically restrained from attacking malfoy after he said he wished hermione had died in cos

worry about harry’s preoccupation with the mirror of erised and how it was affecting him

remind hermione to eat her meals and get a good night’s sleep when she’s studying 24/7 for their owl exams

display acute levels of emotional intelligence in the way he interacts with harry and hermione, essentially being the glue that keeps them all together

get splinched almost in half, lose blood and suffer agonising pain but seem more worried about the cattermoles and whether or not they were okay

realise his mistakes & own up to them, acknowledging his role in certain falling outs (especially in deathly hallows)

be genuinely hilarious and fun, and lighten the load in everyone else’s’ lives with the humour he brings to

write to his mother in ps asking her to give harry presents too because he doesn’t think he’ll received any

go to the department of mysteries to help harry without a second a thought

go on the run with harry to hunt for horcruxes without a second thought

run to hermione’s aid when malfoy hits her with a nasty hex outside snape’s classroom and take her to the hospital wing

help hermione with buckbeak’s appeal, spending hours upon hours reading up on the case

extend the first olive branch after fighting with hermione because of scabber’s “death” and apologising, after which she then apologises too

demand to re-try out for the position of keeper on the quidditch team because he wanted to earn it himself with no favouritism or help

choose to stay on the quidditch team despite the bullying from the slytherin team and his nerves about his flying ability

stand up to malfoy at every opportunity, when he was insulting him, but more importantly, insulting his family & his friends

save harry’s life in dh by pulling him out of the lake, and then kill the horcrux

remember the houseelves during the battle of hogwarts and worry about their safety

continue to admire and adore his older twin brothers despite the fact that they were sometimes cruel to him

become almost annoyingly protective of his little sister (ESPECIALLY after the diary situation)

single-handedly out smart and escape five armed and deadly snatchers

try his best to overcome his insecurities and feelings of being overlooked, in order to support the people around him

sacrifice himself without a second thought during the chess game in ps because he knew harry’s survival was more important than his

for y’all to speak on him the way you do. calling him cruel, evil, selfish etc??? open your fucking eyes

[pooks]

*at the first Quidditch team practice 1988* Charlie, the Quidditch Captain: Alright, let's welcome our new Keeper, Oliver Wood! Oliver, a wee second year: HAPPY TO BE HERE! :D Charlie: and...my little brother Percy, who's here for some reason. Percy, also a wee second year: I'm here as moral support and I got the first aid kit ready, just in case. :) Cassidy, the star chaser and second-in-command: Okay, that's really adorable. Are they inseperable or something? Charlie: *sighs* They are a package deal, I couldn't get one of them seperate.

[chaotic-toasters]

Crashing

AUSWNT x Teen!Reader

-------------------

"Hi, Macca!" You grinned, rushing into the Keeper's waiting arms. "I missed you!"

"I've missed you too, kid," she smiled, squeezing you tightly. "How's Spain treatin' you?"

"Good."

"What about me?" Alanna questioned. "I haven't seen you in a while too, y'know."

"Oh, hi Lani," you patted the defender on the shoulder. "Didn't see you there."

"You're so mean," the cityzen feigned hurt, all too familiar with your playful antics. "Kyra said to go and meet her and Charli in her room. They need you for something. Probably a prank."

"Alright," you gave her and Mac fist-bumps as you walked past. "If I turn up dead tomorrow, you know what happened."

---------------------

"Hey, Ky, hey Char," you greeted, eyebrows raised as you followed Kyra into the room. "What was it you needed?"

"Y/N, perfect," Charli was suspiciously gleeful. "We've got some Tim Tams that we need eaten, but Ky and I have already had too many. You mind finishing them for us?"

"Sure," you agreed instantly, never one to deny a Tim Tam (even if it was way too early in the morning. "I'm down."

-------------------

In short, you consumed three whole packets of Tim Tams. Kyra and Charli had shared a look, the former getting up and grabbing a coffee from otherwise empty desk. "You look kinda tired. Have some coffee, it'll help you get through the jetlag for now."

You hadn't thought much of it, so you'd graciously accepted it and finished it within the hour.

"Y/N! Kyra! Charli!" Lydia's voice called through the door, followed by a couple of knocks. "We've gotta head to training! Get ready to go!"

You rolled your eyes, much to Kyra and Charli's amusement. "Yes, mum!"

--------------------

"MINIMINIMINIMINIMINIMINI!" you practically yelled, barreling towards the surprised Midfielder excitedly. "LOOKLOOKLOOKLOOK!"

"Woah, kiddo," she sidestepped, glancing over at Alanna. "You're a lot stronger than I am. Careful."

Alanna was quick to pull you into a hug in a fruitless attempt to calm you down. "What's goin' on, Y/N? You okay?"

You were shaking, bouncing up and down rapidly in the defender's arms. "What d'you mean? I'm great!"

You bolted away, somersaulting across the pitch before slamming your foot into a ball that had been laying on the ground. "WHEEEE!"

"Y/N, Y/N, Y/N," Tony ran over with Steph in tow. "What's happened, kiddo? You just excited?"

"Yeah yeah yeah!" you did a random backflip for no reason other than you feeling like it. "I'm excited! Yup yup yup!"

Ellie looked severely ashamed for what she was about to whisper to Hayley. "Is she... is she high?"

"No, there's no way," the Madrid player shook her head instantly. "She cares about her career way too much to jeopardize it with something like drugs."

"Yeah, you're right. But if she's not high, then what?"

Across the pitch, Lydia and Mackenzie's eyes swept over each and every player like hawks.

Instead of being worried that a new, younger keeper would take their places when you joined the national team, they immediately took you under their wings and declared themselves as your team moms. It wasn't a secret that they'd kill anybody who messed with you.

"Mac," Lydia elbowed the West Ham captain. "Over there."

Mac's eyes zeroed in on two best friends, seemingly worried as they whispered in each other's ears. "Oi! Cooney! Grant! You got somethin' to share with the team?"

Both of their heads snapped up, fear written clearly all over their faces.

Two tall, angry Australian goalkeepers was a terrifying sight for anybody, but up until now, none of the Tillies had been on the receiving end of your team moms' wrath. Safe to say, no one was prepared.

"You give my kid something?" Macca demanded, rolling up her sleeves. "Why's she actin' weird?"

Charli gulped. "We— we, uh..."

"Spit it out," Mackenzie growled, ignoring the fact that you were currently clinging onto her leg like a koala. "What. Did. You. Do. To. My. Kid?"

"We gave her a bunch of Tim Tams," Kyra blurted out, caving as soon as Lydia dragged her thumb across her throat menacingly. "And... and... Charli gave her a coffee with, like, eight packets of sugar in it!"

"Me?!" Charli cried. "You literally handed it to her! And it was your idea! I only agreed!"

"Oh, you two are so dead," Mac glared, lumbering forward with much difficulty considering there was a 140-pound human attached to her right leg. "I swear to God, I'm gonna murder you both."

Lydia did it for her, seizing both troublemakers by the fronts of their shirts. "You think this is funny? Y/N can be fuckin' dangerous when she's hyper! She coulda run over Mini!"

Kyra looked past Lydia's shoulder to where you were snuggling into Macca's knee and babbling about racecars. "Uh—"

A smack to the back of the head shut her up real fast.

"Not now, Ky!" Charli hissed through gritted teeth.

"Tony!" Kyra pleaded as Lydia's grip on her training bib became tighter. "Tony, please!"

The manager held up his hands, walking backwards and almost tripping on the drinks cooler. "Nope. Not getting involved."

"Steph—"

The skipper looked around wildly. "I... I have to go plan your funeral! In the bathroom! Bye!"

"Ras, please—"

The Madrid player was gone before the gunner could even finish her sentence.

Lydia's eye twitched.

"Uh-oh."

----------------------

"Y/N, babes, you good?" Ellie asked, nudging you slightly.

You blinked slowly. "Huh?"

"I'm gonna go get Mac, I'll be right back."

True to her word, the Lyon defender returned a minute later with the ever-protective older keeper at her side.

"Y/N's kind of out of it," Ellie explained as your head bobbed slightly. "I think she's crashing from the sugar."

"Aww, kiddo," Mackenzie sat beside you on the bench, using a hand to place your head on her shoulder. "It's only three, you tired?"

"Mhmm," you murmured, only half-paying attention. "Sleepy."

She sent a cowering Kyra and Charli a death glare. "Go to sleep, kid. I'm sure Tony wouldn't mind. Right, Tony?"

The manager instantly agreed, giving you both an awkward and slightly terrified thumbs-up. "I— yup. Whatever you want, girls. It's- it's totally up to you."

Lydia walked over, brushing a flyaway out of your face. "I'll bring you up to your room when we're done here. Get some rest, kid."

[barblaz-arts]

Hi Barb

I seen your snippet and I have to say I look forward to it since not only you are a great artist but also a talented writer ! I wish something like this happened in the future (cannon).

Charlie jealous of the Carmines because she have Vaggie alone for around four years till the Carmines show up and take Vaggie away from her(not most of the time but still ) I mean she is an only child of powerful and richest being she have her things alone and spoils even when she move out of her parents place and spent her time alone she got Vaggie who also spoils her but not that much spoils compared to her parents since Vaggie have common sense and I headcanon that Vaggie discipline Charlie for years since they are together .

Imagine, you with yours girlfriend for ages you found her secret the she kept from you since the beginning now both of you make up and your bond is stronger than before but now her space is wider and have room for more people not only you and she spends less time with you because she give her time to others that she admire and found. Also she seems happy and more alive.

Charlie is a princess but She is a Hell’s Princess. She may better than people in both Hell and Heaven but she still a demon.

To be fair, I think Carmilla and Vaggie both have a lot of things in common (from my perspective I always open for another opinion I like to read yours since you don’t jump into the conclusion that Lilith is evil like some people here )

1.Both of them are Latina

Maybe came from different countries but still have Spanish(español) as their first language I can imagine if they are speaking in the heat or argument or a discussion they would speak in Spanish and nobody understands what the heck did they just say? also as someone that not having English as my first language talking in my language is help me expressing more than English specially when I let my emotions speak. I believe the same thing would happen to Vaggie and The Carmines. Maybe in the short time , She would open up to them more and quicker than Charlie or the crews.

2. Both of them are the worst liar.

In episode 3, I am certain that most of people in the room know Camilla was the one who killed that Exorcist look at her reaction in the meeting they just don’t know how. And Vaggie said that she herself is the worst’s liar .The only reason she can kept her secret that long because the person she live with is Charlie(Who don’t have a good observing skill and not the best as Zestial at confronting someone to give them answers ). I know Vaggie never lie to Charlie but she also not telling her girlfriend the whole truth which is still wrong , I guess.

3. Both of them are the Keeper and the Protector.

They have someone they love dearly and is their first priority if the threat comes to them ; Carmilla : Odette,Clara > Herself, Vaggie : Charlie > the Crew >…..>Herself(I think Vaggie will probably protect civilians or children and put herself in the bottom of a pyramid because she’s an Angel also a soldier that have common sense to serve and protect people not Country.

4. Both of them are Dancer .

I want more of their screen time in episode seven. Vaggie can follow Camilla after she gets herself together.

5.Respect.

I’m not sure about Latin’s Culture about respect someone that older like Asian . I think Vaggie quite a well mannered person and respectful but it’s something that need to earned form her.

She don’t trust Alastor and his actions since theirs first impression I would say completely disaster. ( She may give him more respect after episode 8 since he fought with them)

About this makes me think if Vaggie meet Zestial when she visits Carmilla she going to like him . Zestial have little screen time but He show us that he’s a gentlemen that respect people boundaries even though he quite a gossip (He’s cute) but if he is someone that the Carmines open up for He maybe the first man that Vaggie feel comfort to be around (about Lucifer,that her father girlfriend and a king of Hell it might be awkward at first but they will get along in different ways)

She called Carmilla ‘Miss Carmine’ I know before She enter to Carmine’s compound she blackmailed her to enter but hey! they get along now.

6. Weapons and Training

I think Vaggie like exercise and enjoy training it’s healthy if you not use it for killing souls once a years. Even she in hell she still training (look at her shape and how she parkour) but she don’t have someone to duel with her that can point her mistake like Camilla (sometimes Clara or Odette )maybe that how they bound .

I can see Vaggie stop by at the Carmines place because she want someone to duel with(there is another word but I forgot) with people who can improve herself to be better.

Camilla is a business woman so when she busy she might send hers daughters to send the angel off but instead three of them bond and ‘play’ together (play: weapons test , duel , Vaggie being a 1st Angel Subject and test what Angel can do etc.)

In conclusion, we need Vaggie and The Carmines bonding time and Charlie being jealous in the background.

Thank you, Sorry for rambling.

It will be more,I promise.

P.S. here’s the sketch that describes my view about this (Also I have writing a some comic but I’m quite busy If you want more context or more sketches feel free to ask because I would love to share 😂)

The bit about Carmilla and Vaggie both being terrible liars sure is interesting. I never considered that!

Their relationship seems to have always been planned to be quite important, if this previous concept for a Ball Episode is anything to go by("Maxine" looks a lot like a prototype version of Carmilla)

I'd love it if they could bond more in the next seasons.

I love the idea of Charlie getting jealous of Carmilla too but for like the wrong reasons. Just to reference the fact that Vaggie and Carmilla's voice actors previously played lovers for In The Heights. It would be so funny.

And omg those sketches are adorable! What a cute art style!

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead? [3/3]

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris

authors note: book a dentist app guys this shit is sweet !

yourusername 

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername 😭 🥺 guys I, I, I just won at my home race with my best friend alongside me. those two kids dreamed of days like these. lan you next 💓

to the tifosi for your unyielding support, to scuderiaferrari for helping me achieve things like this, and to charlie the best teammate a girl could ask for <3

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landonorris so proud of you luv but PLEASE let me win soon, we dont need another max situation

yourusername lando tries to be sentimental challenge: FAILED f1fan hahahaha mate please grow up and make a move !

danielricciardo incredible stuff mate! landonorris you were so cute, what happened?

landonorris ha ha ha 😑

​​taylorswift you are killing it girl !! I see you're stateside later this year maybe you could join us at the era's tour?

yourusername 😀😀😀 I need someone to confirm this is real, landooooooooo landonorris its real so please stop hyperventilating in you drivers room alex_albon do you forget you have millions of followers and a mega superstar yourself?? yourusername and what she's TAYLOR SWIFT. she writes works of art like folklore and i drive in circles. alex_albon AT A VERY INSANE SPEED learn your worth please ynfan1 you did so well with him lilymhe

maxfewtrell you know what they say couples who win together stay together !

[this comment has been deleted]

ynfan2 max you are not quick enough for me I saw that 👀👀

taylorswiftupdates

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taylorswiftupdates after a long time of online interactions the f1 ferrari driver yourusername was at tonights show!! it appears the driver was joined with fellow drivers lando norris,charles leclerc and daniel ricciardo.

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ynfan1 can you imagine your favourite singer of all time making that face at you 🥺

ynfan2 and she got one of tonights secret song dedicated to her aswell!!

ynfan3 no way really!! what was it ynfan2 it was randomly Crazier, the song taylor sang in the hannah montana film 😂

landonorris

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landonorris hope you enjoyed your birthday cause you're never receiving another birthday present again. why WHY is your favourite taylor swift song so obscure??

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yourusername you are the best of the best of the best of the BEST

​​taylorswift you guys are the most adorable 🥺

charles_leclerc cause shes a country girl at heart come you know this 😂

yourusername ahem country girls shake it for me 🤠

ynlando4ever GUYS HE GOT TAYLOR TO SING HER FAVOURITE SONG THEY ARE IN LOVE!!!!

yourusername posted on their story:

eras tour READY

I lied nothing could've prepared me for this ....

replies

taylorswift so glad you could come and enjoy 💓💓 that boy of yours is such a cutie.. yourusername he's a keeper for sure! hate keeping it all so secretive but like someone amazing once sang romance is not dead if you keep it just yours 😂 ❤️

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yourusername I dont do tiktok but I love the its all too much for little lando norris cause he falls asleep during my taylor swift rants 😤

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landonorris EHHHHH DONT THINK YOU MEANT THAT LAST ONE RIGHT BABE?

ynfan1 BABE?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMENTS yourusername oh fuck lan landonorris HA and you said it be me who would out us ynfan2 US? theres an us??

yncharlesshipper what happened to charlie??

ynlando4ever VICTORY

danielricciardo hahahahahah wait why does norizz look kinda ??

landonorris you can say it 😏😏

yourusername OKAY Y'ALL CAUGHT ME WE'RE NOT JUST FRIENDS! SHOOT ME LOOK AT HIM!!!

landonorris LOOK AT YOUUUUU ynfan1 k im obsessed with them even more now

landonorris

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landonorris since she messed up I can FINALLY show off how I got the girl 2 years ago 😎

happy to announce i'm accepting apologises for all those norizz comments cause LOOK at who's my girl

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yourusername thats right baby your girl !!

maxfewtrell FINALLY

danielricciardo agreed, and you're never hearing anything from me norizz alex_albon still in shock carlossainz55 can relax now, yn is scary

charles_leclerc we got there eventually! looking forward to not being shipped with you now yourusername 😂😂

yourusername I don't know what you're talking about I'm a catch!

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yourusername car failures are a teams worse nightmare and unfortunately my hard truth for today's race in Singapore 💔 being ruled out during the formation lap is something I hope to never experience again, so sorry for disappointing everyone and the team!

ON ANOTHER NOTE its time for a hardlaunch cause LOOK WHO JUST GOT HIS FIRST WIN! congrats bro 😎 👍❤️‍🔥 💖

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scuderiaferrari could never disappointment, we win as a team and lose as a team!

yourusername you guys xx ynfan1 the teams support never fails to make me emosh, all you that deserve!!

f1fan still a slay in my eyes!

landonorris the use of bro here is conflicting to all the pride driven kisses i've been getting 🤔🤔

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f1fanupdates gasly is once again providing all the drama for the viewers! after another dnf the alphatauri driver made a jab at mclaren's first driver, lando norris...

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f1fan1 why have one feud with a driver when you can have 2!! right pierre?

ynfan2 man is just realising he can't blame yn anymore so he's picking on lando

ynfan3 do you think its all related? like continuous beef that all links back to her?

landonorris

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landonorris the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake

japan its been real!

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pierregasly imagine being this cocky all while being overshadowed by your rookie teammate

landonorris imagine ruining your own career because a girl told you she didn't want to go out with you pierregasly if shes going out with the likes of you, think I dodged a bullet landonorris do you or do you not have a girlfriend rn? yourusername enough of this. pierre you are a broken record stfu and focus on your driving

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

ynfan2 men being men ugh

yourusername tay tay 🥺🥺 in your caption 🥺 love you

landonorris and the edit! i want all the brownie points baby 😏

danielricciardo MY EX-MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND SHE'S LIKE

yourusername "OH MY GOD," BUT I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE IT charles_leclerc AND TO THE FELLA OVER THERE WITH THE HELLA GOOD HAIR maxverstappen1 WON'T YOU COME ON OVER, BABY? WE CAN SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE landonorris wow wdc winner with the taylor swift lyrics in my comments??

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

yourusername posted on their story:

my man my man my man 💓

landonorris where gasly wishes he could be 👀 landonorris love love love you

AHH I hope this was worth the wait guys!! the beef is so squashed in but I was consumed be the full by then lol

-finished-

[3/3]

taglist:

@vellicoranorca @toasttt11 @dzastinocha @dzastinocha @landosgirlxoxo @2bormaybenot @jpg3 @celestialams @dreamsarebig @dreamercrowd @dracosswhore @kissesandmartinis @inejismywife

weirdly couldnt tag everyone sorry !!

[terapsina]

Let's talk books. Sorted in threes by vibes.

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I Support Women's Wrongs (murder, slaughter and body horror galore).

---

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying ⭐⭐⭐⭐½ by Django Wexler - A woman from Earth is dropped into a magical realm, meant to save the Kingdom from the FoRCes of DaRKneSSss... except, unfortunately that might have been a thousand years worth of time loops ago, so it's rather time to lose one's temper and decide to become the Dark Lord herself.

Main character -> basically Deadpool (measured in sanity, humor and levels of bisexual horniness)).

Someone You Can Build a Nest In ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by John Wiswell - Shesheshen, a shapechanging monster who's rudely interrupted during her hibernation by hunters. Manages to to eat one of them, unfortunately she also gets shot by an arrow and falls off a cliff. On the bright side she meets a lovely human woman she might end up falling in love with so much... she'll want to build a nest in her (it's possible there's some Cultural Differences that need to be worked through).

Hench ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Natalie Zina Walschots - Anna's latest temp job for a villain (because even supervillains need office help) ends with her carelessly injured by a superhero, laid off and with injured mobility for the foreseeable future (because human bodies don't see much difference between getting hit by a truck and getting moved out of way by someone able to pick up a truck). Angry, disillusioned, and looking for some vengeful payback she starts compiling the statistics of exactly how much suffering gets left behind the heroes and in quick order finds a new job working for one of the worst supervillains in the neighborhood.

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Extremely Competent Women Show Up to Fix Everyone's Shit (with a whallop of romance which was actually sweet instead of irritating)

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The Witchwood Knot ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Olivia Atwater - Winifred Hall was invited to the Witchwood Manor under the pretense of being the governess for a very bratty kid, but when said boy suddenly turns into a very quiet and perfectly bland boy overnight it's very obvious her charge has been stolen by faeries (and it might have something to do with the actual reason she's there). Rescue however is complicated by some factors, one, there being something terribly dark and wrong about the house (normal houses don't have screaming faces in the walls), another, the faerie man posing as the manor's butler who would very much like to make her run screaming the way so many servants had before her (unfortunately for him, she's not even half as scared of him as she is the eyes of the father of her charge).

This one's about dealing with past trauma, and otherworldly terrors paling in comparison to mundane monsters, set in a very beautiful and dark and shiver-inducing Victorian time world where the Fair Folk are very real.

(Same world as her Regency Faerie Tales trilogy that Started with Half a Soul but it's not necessary to read that one first to enjoy this one)

Keeper of Enchanted Rooms ⭐⭐⭐⭐½ by Charlie N. Holmberg - Merritt Fernsby inherits a house only to be immediately taken hostage by what turns out to be a very stubborn and opinionated magical house. Hulda Larkin of the Boston Institute for the Keeping of Enchanted Rooms goes there to facilitate the relationship between the house and its new owner.

It's supposed to be a very simple job. Unfortunately there's a third POV character in this book (no, not the Whimbrel House, though I adore that house and *insert here the Rosa Diaz gif about her new puppy and how she would kill everyone in this room and then herself if anything were to happen to that dog*). Anyway, they're a bit... uhhh... let's go with Bad News.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Heather Fawcett - As one might expect from the title, Emily (a Cambridge scholar) wants to write the first ever encyclopedia of faeries. And she's brilliant enough to do it, what she's terrible at is people (*insert autistic character alert here*).

Someone else might then say it's lucky that a fellow scholar with a far easier time at charming people has stuck his toes in her reaserch trip into the Hidden Ones... that person however doesn't understand how irritating, frustrating and maddening her academic rival Wendell Bambleby actually is.

What follows is a story filled with winter snows, some terrible fae, some adorable fae, some not-very-secret fae, the goodest of good dogs, and lots and lots of squabbling. It's the best.

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Dark and Impactful Stories about Children Who Decide on Their Own Paths

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A Skinful of Shadows ⭐⭐⭐⭐½ by Frances Hardinge - Kate, an orphan and the illegitimate daughter of some stuffy (and evil) aristocrats runs away because being a bastard doesn't mean she didn't inherit the family magic that allows her to get possessed by the dead.

A dead bear ghost is one thing, a Get Out situation is something else entirely.

A Sorceress Comes to Call ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by T. Kingfisher - Cordelia isn't allowed friends or the privacy of closed doors, and whenever she's done something she shouldn't - a category too unpredictable to guard against - she's not allowed power over her own body.

Because her mother is an evil sorceress (think Regina and Cora... except somehow even worse). An evil sorceress that has found herself a Squire to lure into a marriage.

Hester is an old maid living with her brother, a Squire (well look at them coincidences), when said brother acquires a woman clearly set on his fortune. The plan is only to save her brother, except Hester can't help noticing how the woman's daughter keeps flinching in her mother's presence.

In The Lives of Puppets ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by TJ Klune - A family can be an android inventor, his human son (*homoromantic asexual alert*), a sadistic nurse droid, and a very emotional roomba.

And it can be a very happy family. Until one uncovers and wakes up an android that shares a very Skynet past with one's father, said father gets kidnapped, and one has to go on a journey to get him back.

(A book I like to call Sci-fi Reverse Pinocchio)

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Unraveling an Unjust System (and a hero that - on a scale from occasionally to constantly - hears a disembodied voice directly in their heads okay the connection between these three is a bit of a stretch but they're all great books so shut up)

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Hell for Hire ⭐⭐⭐⭐½ by Rachel Aaron - 5000 years ago Gilgamesh conquered the heavens, enslaved the demons and made it so that the only road to magic humanity had access, was through him.

Now, however a mercenary team made up of free demons gets hired by a Blackwood witch to protect him (and his familiar, the talking cat named Boston) while he puts down roots (literally) inside the new forest grove he's about to start so that he can stand up against the warlocks after him.

The witch quickly becomes the best client Bex and her crew have ever had (after all, warlocks under the rule of the Eternal King Gilgamesh are slavers of their kind, they are delighted at the chance to kill some).

Vespertine ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Margaret Rogerson - In a world where the veil between the living and the dead has been kinda broken Artemisia (*another autistic character alert*) is training to be a Gray Sister (magic nun).

Until her convent gets attacked by possessed soldiers and she has no choice but to pick up a Saint's Relic containing a malevolent revenant to protect it.

Problem. Only a Vespertine is supposed to do it. Another problem. The only one "alive" who can teach her to be a Vespertine is the revenant. Another another problem. The revenant cannot be trusted and if she loses control to it, the death toll will be counted in cities.

Terminal Alliance ⭐⭐⭐⭐¾ by Jim C. Hines - Post Zombie Apocalypse, where some aliens showed up, sort of cured the zombies and took the (mostly) cured zombies into their military.

Which leads us to Marion Adamopoulos, also known as Mops, the Leutenant in charge of Shipboard Hygene and Sanitation of the Earth Mercenary Corps Ship Pufferfish.

Right up until a bioweapon turns the entire crew except her crew back into zombies. Congratulations, she's the captain now.

(Space Janitors save the universe story).

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[musical-shit-show]

little taste of heaven

Pairing: Adam (Hazbin Hotel) x Sinner!Reader

Inspiration: Prompts #53 (“why don’t you make me?”) from Prompt List #1 and #78 (“oh, i’m gonna fucking ruin you.”) from Prompt List #2 with added inspiration taken from a request from the lovely @odins-nsfw

Warnings: cursing, Adam is an asshole (what else is new), tiny bit of angst if you squint, general kinda rough smut (18+, MINORS DNI!!!), oral sex (female receiving), face sitting, digital manipulation, unprotected sex, Adam and reader are definitely toxic, enemies that are also lovers :)

Word Count: 2,149

Author’s Note: This took me a little longer to write but I’m very happy with how it turned out! Definitely getting more comfortable with writing smut, and writing for Adam is still proving to be very fun. Thanks to everyone who has interacted with my other Adam one shots (which you can read here and here); it seriously means so much to see the positive feedback. I still have one more request in my inbox, but I will definitely be writing for more Hazbin characters as the year goes on (especially since we don’t know when the show is coming back). But if you’d like to submit an ask, check out my About Me page, Prompt Lists, and other works in my Masterlist! Thanks and happy reading, depraved sinners!

“Hey, toots, settle a bet for us, would ya?” you heard Angel Dust call to you from across the hotel lobby. Ever since Charlie Morningstar successfully staved off an attack from Heaven’s army, you decided to join her crusade towards redeeming the seemingly irredeemable.

You were first assigned as a quasi-concierge, since you had spent most of your time in Hell bouncing from one side of the Pride Ring to the other. You hopped up from your desk and met Angel, who was slumped across the bar; Husk was silently cleaning a glass, a small smirk on his feline face.

“What’s up, guys?” you breathed, counting the seconds until your shift ended. You were grateful for the free accommodations that the hotel provided, but you didn’t expect the afterlife would involve diving into the wonderful world of customer service.

The porn star shifted his gaze to Husk, and you could tell they were both up to something. “Are ya fuckin’ the angel or what?” the bartender asked, his voice gruff. Angel almost spit out the swig of malt liquor he had just taken.

You feigned confusion, turning to the spider-like demon. “Angel Dust, I think I would know if I were fucking the biggest porn star—”

“Actor.”

“—Actor,” you corrected yourself, “on this side of Hell. You should know he’s not my type, Husk, honest.”

Angel Dusk tsked. “You know that’s not who we’re talking about, babycakes,” he said, his voice lowering, “We’re talking about the angel. Or, I guess the fallen angel.”

Oh, shit.

You shifted uncomfortably on the barstool, swirling the whiskey glass Husk had placed in front of you. “No clue what you mean by that.”

“Bullshit,” Husk said testily.

“See, I told you she’d lie,” Angel drawled, smiling smugly, “You can read it on her pretty little face.” You could feel the heat creeping up your neck.

Yes, you had been fucking Adam. And yes, you had been keeping it from the rest of the hotel residents. Even after showing up—in a new demonic form, no less—to be redeemed, you knew no one, not even Charlie, trusted him fully after the last botched exorcism and direct attack on the hotel itself.

But he was drawn to you almost immediately, singling you out as someone to pursue and torment. And stupidly, you found yourself attracted to him, despite your better judgement.

“Who told you,” you deadpanned.

Angel Dust’s gaze flickered from you to Husk and back again. He sure knew how to be a fucking tease.

“Your stupid boyfriend,” Husk confirmed, not wanting to torture you any longer.

“Ya shoulda seen him bragging about it last night,” Angel added, no doubt living for the drama this would cause, “He’s got some loose lips once the booze starts flowin’. Real keeper if ya ask me.”

Stomach in knots, you attempted to put up a brave face, even with their taunting. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you said definitively, now feeling anger welling up inside you.

This was all Adam’s fault. He couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut and now you were the one dealing with the humiliating fallout. “Fine, fuck buddy, whatever,” Angel corrected, watching as you stood up from the barstool in a huff, “Doesn’t sound like it’ll last very much longer, given the look on your face.”

You rolled your eyes, completely over this conversation. “Would you excuse me?” you asked rhetorically, your voice dripping with poison. Even Angel looked perturbed for a moment.

Husk glanced over to his companion as you hopped off the barstool, practically seething, “Yeah, ‘course toots,” Angel called after you, still clearly tickled by this development. He loved this kind of soap opera drama bullshit.

You were still able to hear Husk say “Oh she’s gonna fuckin’ murder him,” as you climbed the steps and stomped to Adam’s room.

Pounding on the door, anger and embarrassment grew like a vicious virus inside you. When no one answered, you pressed your ear against the door and was met with the irritating sound of a whiny electric guitar.

“Perfect,” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed the ring of keys Charlie had given you when you were on shift. Even though you had technically clocked out, you weren’t above bending the rules to give Adam a piece of your mind.

You threw open the door, letting the thud as it hit the wall startle the fallen angel strumming his guitar lazily. “Jesus fu—” he started to say as he shifted on his bed, but then his eyes softened at the sight of you, “Oh, hey babe—”

“Don’t you ‘hey babe’ me, you fucking prick,” you spat, fire practically spewing from your mouth, “You’ve been telling people about us?!”

A tense pause.

“Maybe.”

Another pause.

“No?”

You could feel your eye beginning to twitch.

“Ugh, fine. Yes. But what’s the big deal?” Adam asked incredulously, finally putting his guitar down.

You paused for a moment, your anger simmering. The big deal was that you were embarrassed. That the thought of you and Adam going public made you look like a desperate sinner latching onto the only other wayward soul that would look your way.

And hell, you actually liked sneaking around, until he ruined it with his big, dumb mouth of his.

And maybe, just maybe, you were afraid that once the novelty wore off and everyone knew about you two, Adam would leave you behind and move onto the next shiny new toy to waltz into the hotel.

“Cat got your tongue, dollface?” he prodded, wanting to get a rise out of you. It was one of his new favorite pastimes.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, your anxiety being replaced by annoyance. “Jesus fucking Christ do you ever shut up?” The former angel smirked, his eyes flitting up and down your form.

“First off, don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” he said as you rolled your eyes, “It’s fucking rude.”

You wanted to punch him.

“Second, why don’t you make me?”

That was the last straw.

You lunged at him, practically pouncing on top of him to kiss him hungrily. Adam knew exactly how to push your buttons, and pathetic as it was, you actually fell for it every time.

You were straddling him, and felt him wince as you bit his lip in the heat of the angry makeout. Adam knew you were pissed, and the more you fought for dominance, the harder he felt himself get. 

After all, pleasure always tasted sweeter with a little pain. And you tasted fucking delicious.

Adam groaned as you pulled away from him, your face still radiating with heat and anger. You weren’t letting him off that easily, and he knew it.

“Lie down,” you muttered, your eyes scanning his smug expression. “Now.” Wordlessly, Adam complied, lying on his back as you removed your pants and underwear swiftly.

Adam raised his head slightly just in time to watch you remove your shirt and throw it across the room in a huff. He waited patiently for you to do his own disrobing on his behalf; the lazy bastard loved when you rode him.

But he didn’t feel the desperate grasp of your hands around his cock.

No, instead, you climbed up his chest, until you were eye to eye, his gold pupils dilated. “I’m going to have to take drastic measures to shut you up, aren’t I?”

Adam felt his pulse quicken. “What’d you have in mind?”

A sinful smile spread across your face. “Something I know you hate,” you teased, cupping his face gently, doing your best to seduce him into submission, “And something I happen to know your bestie Luci is very talented at.”

Adam gripped your arm, pulling your hand away from his face. You became frightened for a second, before he started peppering the inside of your wrist with small love bites.

The games you played toed a dangerous line between love and hate, and luckily Adam had been fucking you long enough to understand the moves you were making.

“I’m not eating you out,” he said, his expression darkening, “And don’t try to bait me with that little pretty boy. It won’t work.”

You felt your pulse quicken; clearly you had struck a nerve. You just had to push him a little further to get your way.

“Is that why Lilith really left?” you said, rolling your hips against his, feeling how hard he was underneath you, “Because you couldn’t…satisfy her the way that Lucifer could?”

You knew this would send him over the edge. And the moment you looked into his burning gold eyes, you knew you had won.

A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

“Oh, I’m gonna fucking ruin you,” he growled, tugging at the hair at the nape of your neck. You smirked as he finally complied and laid on his back. Adam would rather give up control than have his skills in the bedroom be compared to the King of Hell.

You knew he was insecure, and if he was going to be a dick about it, the least you could do was take advantage.

Before he could change his mind, you placed each thigh on either side of his head, kneeling until your aching core met the lower half of his face. After a few seconds of resistance, you felt his lips part and flinched as his tongue slid into you.

“I can’t believe this was—ah—” you bucked your hips as he found his way to your clit, “This was the only way to get you to shut the fuck up.” You felt a hum of disapproval as his slender hands found his way to your ass.

You smiled to yourself as you felt the annoyed hum that radiated from your stubborn lover’s mouth. Finding your pace, you felt the tension in your abdomen rising as Adam continued to eat you out.

For not loving the act, you had to admit he was good at it. Feeling his tongue swirl inside you sent a shiver down you spine, and you felt a yelp leave your lips as he slapped your ass as you continued to buck on top of him.

In retaliation, he tried teasing you with small sucks and flicks, but you didn’t care; the fact that he was focusing on your gratification for a change was rewarding enough.

After a few minutes, though, the fallen angel had had enough of your domineering; if he was going to finish you off, he was going to do it his way.

Coming up for air, he placated you by circling one of his fingers around your clit. “Alright baby, you got what you wanted,” he breathed, “Now it’s my turn.”

In one fell swoop, he flipped you over onto your back, and disrobed in the blink of an eye. ‘Showoff,’ you thought to yourself, annoyed by the lack of his mouth on your pussy.

Before you could protest, two of his long fingers found his way inside you, pumping and curling to hit your sweet spot.

“After this, I’m gonna fuck you into oblivion,” Adam muttered, his tempo growing more erratic, “You’re lucky I’m even bothering to get you off after your little outburst, but you can consider it a favor this time.”

You tried to focus more on satisfying sensation you were feeling than his bitching. “It’s the least you could do after that bullshit you pulled with Husk and Angel,” you said, feeling a bead of sweat roll down your back as you tightened around him, “They’ll fucking crucify me.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, baby,” he cooed, resting his thumb on your bud as he continued to pump his fingers into you, “Now be a good girl and cum for me.”

It only took a few more moments of stimulation for you to humiliatingly come undone around him, knowing he’d make you pay for it later.

Getting off always seemed to come with a price when it came to fucking Adam; at the very least you were able to shut him up for a few glorious minutes.

You contemplated if the grilling from the other guests and constant bickering was worth it, but you didn’t have much time to change your mind. Adam pulled you off your back and onto your stomach, and you winced as he slammed his cock into you, your ass on full display as he took you from behind.

You gripped the sheets, the friction of him inside you equal parts painful and gratifying. ‘Another question for another day,’ you thought, burying your face into the mattress as he fucked you at an agonizingly delicious pace.

Right now, you had a pissy angel to placate and a couple of sinners to swear to secrecy.

Royally fucked didn’t even begin to describe the mess you had gotten yourself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading! please like/comment/reblog if you enjoyed and want to read more! :)

[procyonloser]

Pt 1

Lucifer held Charlie's hand as they walked through the aquarium, not wanting her to stray far from him in place like this. She was cute as a bug today, hair up in little pigtails, pulling on his hand to try and show him each glass underwater world.

Eventually they came upon a talk with one of the aquarium keepers, who was chatting to a ring of children around the man. Charlie ran over as fast as she could, and Lucifer laughed as he walked with her - he wondered how long he'd have this much bigger of a stride than her, if she inherited his ex wife's genes.

"The anglerfish?" The speaker asked, repeating a question one of the kids had asked - he was an extremely tall man with a booming voice. At first, Lucifer thought nothing of him, but the longer he looked at him, the more attractive Lucifer found him. He was oddly sharp yet soft looking, his height was imposing, but his belly and legs were thick and his hands looked almost delicate in Lucifer's opinion. Yet, he'd never say he looked feminine, his face gave a sort of boy next door turned into a fry cook vibe that Lucifer was weirdly very into.

"No, the lady anglerfish isn't prettier." The man answered, with a bit of a laugh. "In fact, when you think of an anglerfish, you're probably thinking of some of the deep sea anglerfish - in many deep sea anglers, such as Ceratias holboelli, the female is massive in comparison to the males. The males seek out their giant future life partners and latch onto them, helpless, becoming a parasite that exists for the purpose of fertilizing her eggs."

It clearly went over most the little kids heads, but a few of the parents looked amused or scandalized, but Lucifer couldn't help the words that spilled out of his mouth.

"Sign me up to be a male anglerfish," Lucifer said without thinking about it. He was instantly glowered at by a couple women, but more bit their lips, laughing under their breath.

The aquarium speaker tilted his head, a crooked smile on his face as he looked down at Lucifer. "Well, when it comes to size you're about there."

Oh ho ho, Lucifer thought with a wide grin.

"Call me if you have any unfertilized eggs." Lucifer told him, far more flirtatiously than he meant to, or at least more than he meant to in front of Charlie. His 4 year old stared up at him in confusion, before tugging on his hand and trying to pull him away.

"I want to go see the jelly fish!" Charlie pouted and Lucifer laughed nervously, fixing his hat and nodding.

"Okay, jellyfish next!" Lucifer said, getting led away, but at the last minute, he looked over his shoulder and met the man's eyes. The guy winked at him.

Lucifer realized he hadn't even gotten his name. How was he supposed to masturbate furiously later?

[puppy-phum]

Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 3: North & Sonic

Six of Clubs: Sharing thoughts and ideas. Offering advice and giving honest opinions. Three of Hearts: Community as a network of support; Valuing and strengthening bonds within a group.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 3 prompts: north & sonic

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

i have never before really analyzed north and sonic as characters. they've always felt like the most uncomplicated ones of the bunch, tho i guess that air of simplicity is quite deceiving as i discovered through this. there's a lot hidden behind the playful banter and humor these two add to the series.

north: if in the previous edit i pointed out that jeff is the eyes of the group, then north must be the mouth. he's a chatterbox, someone with words prepared at all times, never afraid to tease someone and speaking with such honesty it's almost too blunt. this made me feel that a card linked to communication and negotiating suits him. he might not always be the most intelligent or tactful of the group, but he isn't afraid to say things how they are or point out problems or possible discrepancies amongst the pack. his words might be light, but he genuinely cares for his pack.

that care is often shown through well-timed (or not) questions and advice. it happens especially with alan and babe who north gives "relationship advice" (leaving that into the quotation marks bc the advice is dubious at best lol) – north meddles bc he is genuinely excited about the possibility of adding new members to the pack and into the lives of those he cares about. he is also one of the first ones to address the question of kim and if they should help him out after he's been taken, plus he's very eager to discuss the question of way despite the rest of the group deciding to remain silent about him and his betrayal.

sonic: i had to think again to pinpoint the core element of sonic's character but eventually drifted towards how he's portrayed as the nurturer of the pack. babe is very obviously the center of the pack with his loud and commanding presence, but i think the warmer, more caring center piece is sonic. he's the one who keeps noticing how the bond within and around the pack grow and change, and he is greatly affected once those bonds start stretching out or break completely.

the importance sonic places on these bonds is then the most obvious during the times those bonds suffer a sudden change. i chose his images accordingly: sonic is deeply hurt by dean's betrayal as it both hurts him and those around him; by babe's heartbreak over charlie's death as he's forced to watch one of them so completely shattered and lost; and by way's sudden passing bc that means a complete loss of a bond that once was so fundamental to the whole pack. i think his care towards the community around him also partly explains why he isn't pursuing a deeper bond with north (he doesn't like things changing too much) or why he is so open to accept ppl like charlie, jeff, kim, and pete into their pack (new ppl offer him new bonds to wrap around himself). sonic is the keeper of these bonds, but at the same time, he is strongly a creation of them and cannot imagine being without them (and i cannot really imagine sonic without at least north beside him either).

as a pair, i think most ppl agree that north and sonic are very healing. bc they're so attuned to everyone in the group and bc they're not afraid to voice both their happiness and concerns, the pack knows when they're doing well and when they should be working on being better. i think the others in the group who are less vocal and show their emotions less freely benefit a lot from these two who are so... loud, both literally and figuratively. it's nice to have this kind of anchor and lighthouse to guide the pack on their hard journey.

(if anyone wants to discuss these two and other thoughts north and sonic might cause, i'm open to hear anything you have to say! i did very brief and surface level analysis on them for this, and probably missed a ton of nuances, so it would be nice to hear different takes on them.)

[outsideratheart]

Bumped Heads & Bedtime Stories (Alex Morgan x reader)

A/N: So this wasn’t planned but once it was in my head I had to write it. I hope you all like it.

Alex and Charlie watched on proudly as you took the field with the Matildas for the Semi final of the World Cup. The younger of the two got up from her mother’s lap and stood directly in front of the TV when the camera zoomed in on you as you exchanged pendants with the German captain. 

“Mommy look it’s Mama” Charlie says excitedly. 

Long distance was hard for the two of you when you started dating, more so when you got married but all of that failed in comparison to when you had Charlie. You played for Lyon and had done since you were a 21 years old. Alex feared what your bond with Charlie would be like when you lived half way across the world for the majority of the year but she soon found out she had nothing to worry about. Charlie adored you and the bond you two shared was unbreakable.

“It is and she is wearing a shirt just like yours” Alex replies to her daughter.

“This is her shirt Mama, look” Charlie points the your last name on the back of her shirt.

“But you support America, right Charlie?” Kelley asks the small child.

“No! I support Australia” she didn’t pronounce every letter but it was enough to be understood.

Alex knew this was an argument she could never win. You hadn’t tried to get Charlie on your side, the girl automatically chose you. The two of you asked her who she would support if Mama and Mommy play against each other and each time Charlie said you.

The Matildas were putting in yet another dominating performance just like they had been doing the entire campaign. The advantage they had with it being a home tournament made a huge difference and every game sounded and was played like a final.

You were 2-0 up going into the second half. Sam had scored from a corner and you had scored from a free kick. You were currently the top scorer on the tournament which shocked most people because you were a left back but you were also a set piece specialist. The ball almost always found the back of the net whether it came off your foot or your head.

It’s why when the next corner takes place you are heavily marked but some how manage to free yourself. As you jump for the header you feel your head hit something but it felt a lot harder than a ball, this much is proven when you fall to the floor and can feel your head throbbing in seconds. Your first guess is that you got elbowed so you stand to your feet but then feel a warm liquid running down your face. Yes, you had built up a sweat but it was winter in Australia no way are you sweating this much. It is only when you look down that you see drops of red on your shirt and when you raise your hand to where the pain is your hand is covered in blood.

Alex was unaware of the incident that had taken place on the pitch as she was getting some water from the hotel bar. The first wave of panic is brought on when she hears Charlie shrieking and her cries get louder and louder as she runs towards her.

“Mama’s hurt. Blood” Charlie all but jumps into the Alex’s arms. The child is inconsolable.

Your wife doesn’t know to react. She knew that she had to stay calm if she had any hope of calming Charlie down but right now she was finding that incredibly difficult.

When Alex returns to the seating area she sees all eyes are on her before heads turn towards the TV. 

“How bad is it?” Alex asks calmly.

“Lots of blood” Charlie is the only one to answer her question.

“Can you one you please tell me what happen to Y/N?” Alex begs her team mates.

“It was a corner. She jumped up for a header but one of the German defenders had a hold of her shirt. The keeper came out to punch the ball away and kneed Y/N in the head. She got up almost immediately—“ Kelley tried telling her best friend.

“So she’s ok?”

“She had a cut on her head. Like Charlie said there was a lot of blood. She refused a stretcher and help from the physios because she wanted to play. Sam and Ellie had to help her of the pitch. She looked out of it”

Alex tried to process what she was being told. Head injuries are serious and regardless of whether you used a stretcher or not, the suggestion of one is enough to instil worry. 

“Was it bad?” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to the answer.

“No”

“Yes”

Only one player said yes and it was Kristie. 

“Sam refused to play and walked off the pitch with Y/N. I know my girlfriend, I has never seen her look like that and she has never walked away from a game. It’s the semi final. She wouldn’t have gone with Y/N if it wasn’t bad”

Kristie’s statement made Alex feel two things; relief because you had your best friend with you and panic because the blonde was right, Sam wouldn’t have left the match if it wasn’t bad. 

“Charlie” Naomi walks up to the little girl who surprisingly doesn’t shy away from her “do you know how many goals you mama has scored so far? I think it’s 2”

Your daughter reaches of the defender and goes into tell her that you had scored and how you scored them. 

Time after time, Alex got your voicemail. She was about to give up and drive to the hospital that were closest to the stadium but then Kristie got a call.

“It’s Sam” She holds the phone towards the forward “She’s with Y/N”

Alex took a deep breath before holding the phone up to her ear.

“Y/N” 

“Hi Al” you voice was quiet and if she hadn’t already have known she would be able to tell something was wrong “I need to go to the hospital for some checks and stitches”

“Which one? I’ll get one of the cars and be there as soon as I can” Alex was already searching for a member of staff that would have car keys.

“No, don’t come. Stay with Charlie. Hospitals are no place for children and you hate them almost as much as I do. I should only be a couple of hours if I don’t have to stay over. I’ll come to you afterwards”

Alex wanted to argue. She needed to see that you were ok with her own eyes, anything less wouldn’t do. 

“You’re going to come here as soon as you can?” 

“I am” 

The whole USWNT waited patiently, some more than others, for you to arrive to their hotel.  Since you began dating Alex, you had become part of their family. They all watched the incident happen and would feel much better when they saw you in the flesh. 

Hours pass and you still hadn’t arrived, they hadn’t even heard from you since the call with Alex.

Charlie went quiet and Alex knew it was because you needed to see you. The young girl always shut down when she missed you and she wouldn’t return to her normal until she saw you or felt like you were close to her. Because of this Alex had packed several of your hoodies so that they can be a source of comfort your daughter and her as well.

“Kells, will you take Charlie up to get one of Y/N’s hoodies. I’d take her but I want to be here when she—“

“Of course” 

The choice of clothing must have been a hard decision because the pair was gone almost half an hour. The defender returns to the hotel bar.

“Kelley, please tell me you haven’t lost my daughter?” Alex asks when she notices her friend is alone.

Alex walks towards the defender who had assumed Charlie was right behind her.

“Mama!!” 

The word is heard throughout the bar and the giggles that follow lift a weight that had been hanging on each players shoulders. 

When you enter the bar, your daughter in your arms, everyone can see what the accident had done to you. The left side of your forehead is slightly swollen and you had stitches just below your hairline. You welcome Alex into your arms and place a small kiss to both her and Charlie’s temples.

Sam hovers near you. You hear Kristie call her over but she shakes her head.

“Go. I’m fine” you pat your best friend on her shoulder “Thank you for staying with me Sammy” 

“I’m only over there if you need me” Sam gingerly walks over to her girlfriend.

You sit down with Alex next to you and Charlie on your knee. Your daughter inspects your injury all whilst been careful not to hurt you. She presses your stitches a little too hard which causes you to wince.

“Does it hurt?” Charlie asks and you can feel Alex’s eyes burning into you.

“It does but I’m ok” 

“Are you?” It is now Alex’s turn to ask you a question.

“I am. I have no concussion and no major damage”

“Then why is Sam here and why is she watching you like you’re going to pass out at any minute?”

“I lost consciousness a couple of times, I think I scared her” You once made a vow to be honest with Alex and it seemed important now more than ever.

You look over to where Sam and Kristie were sitting and like Alex said, Sam was watching you like a hawk. 

“I’m here because I have her medication” Sam answers Alex’s first question.

“Medication? You said you were ok. If you were ok then you wouldn’t need medication” 

You give Sam a look as if saying look what you’ve started. 

“Sam. Show Alex the medication you were talking about”

Sam holds up a pack of paracetamol earning a laugh from the girls around you. 

You hated taking painkillers but the doctor give you strict instructions to take them every 4 hours. It has been 2 hours since your first dose and Sam had taken it upon herself to make sure you took a second dose, after that it would be Alex’s job.

“Sam wanted to see Kristie without it the girls teasing her for it so she’s using me as an excuse”

Sam couldn’t argue with you on that. The team, you included, loved to tease her about how much she missed her girlfriend. You got just as much stick but you agreed with your tormentors whereas Sam would get defensive.

You took Charlie upstairs to get ready for bed since it was made obvious that the team would be staying downstairs for a bit and one late night wouldn’t harm the child. 

Whilst Alex did believe you when you told her you were ok, she still wanted a second opinion and your best friend her best option. 

“How bad was it?” Alex joins Sam and Kristie at their table. Sonnett, Lynn and Kelley was also at the same table.

“You want the truth?” Your wife nods her head “At first it was really bad. The physios couldn’t stop the bleeding and they didn’t want to go to hospital until they did. Y/N was out of it but she was trying to act fine. Her eyes wouldn’t focus on anything, it was almost like we weren’t in the room with her” Sam tries not to cry but the lump that if forming in her throat was making it difficult.

Alex didn’t share the same need for control. Her tears fell freely as she heard your best friend tell her what happened moment by moment. Turns out she did have a reason for concern and quite a few at that. Looking at the way you walked in you wouldn’t have thought anything had happened but after listening to Sam, Alex realised you had to be putting on a brave front.

When you return with a pyjama clad Charlie Alex tells the group that is is time for the Morgan - Y/L/N’s to go to bed. You saw the look in her eye and didn’t argue.

Once the door had shut Alex started to cry. 

“Hey hey, there’s no need to cry” you pull her in tight and hold her close. You knew that you would have scared Alex so you let her cry.

“You scared us” Alex speaks into your chest.

“I know, I’m sorry” you grab her hand and pull her towards the bed. Once sat down Alex buries her head in the crook of your neck and you hold her tightly again.

“Yeah mama, there was a lot of blood” Charlie walks over to the two of you. Alex pulls away and quickly wipes her eyes. She didn’t want your daughter to see her cry.

You wanted to say wait till they see your Matilda’s jersey which was now more red than yellow but now wasn’t the time for jokes. 

“I know there was but it all got cleaned up and then I got these to stop it from bleeding again” You point to your stitches. 

“I got you this” Charlie climbs onto your lap and holds up a band aid which had Pepper pig on. You take it off her and hand to Alex with a nod of you head. Alex then places the unnecessary band aid across the stitches but makes sure that the cushion covers your stitches.

“Can we watch a movie?” 

“Yes” Alex answers.

“Actually, the doctor told Mama she isn’t allowed to watch any movies tonight”

“You said you didn’t have a concussion” Alex whispers knowing full well what people who have concussions get told.

“I don’t but the brightness makes my headache worse” you reassure your wife.

“Why?” Your child was curious and didn’t understand why you wouldn’t be allowed.

“Because whilst I am ok, I do have a poorly head. What about a bedtime story instead?” 

Charlie happily takes you up on your offer and even gets herself into her bed. 

“What do you think Al, is it time our daughter finds out how we met?” 

Alex rolls her eyes at this. You two had very different sides when it came to the day you met. You were adamant that it was love at first sight, especially for Alex but she didn’t agree. 

“Only if you tell her the truth” 

Once Charlie is tucked up in bed you side on the side with Alex standing over you.

“It started when Australia played America. I had to mark your mommy and she kept trying to take my top off” This earned you a slap from Alex but a giggle from Charlie so it was worth it.

“I did not”

“You ripped it off me remember”

“It was an accident”

“Oh baby, you keep telling yourself that. Do you think it was an accident Charlie?”

“Nope” Charlie agrees with you, of course she did.

You continue telling the story and every so often you would hear Alex scoff at your recollation of events. She saw you as this cocky Aussie but you did catch her eye that first day but she wouldn’t call it love at first sight. Lust would be more appropriate given then you ended in her hotel room that night.

“Then a couple of years later your Mommy moved all the way to France because she missed me and wanted to see me everyday”

“I didn’t move for you. Well not just you”

“Ha! I knew it” you look up at Alex with a smug look in your face.

“I miss you everyday Mama” 

“And I miss you my sweet one”

You continue the story up to the point where you propose to Alex when you see Charlie trying really hard to fight sleep. You end it there and promise to finish it another time.

You get into your own bed, well technically it is Alex’s bed, and with a watchful eye you enjoy the show she is putting on as she gets changed.

“So I’ve been thinking” 

“Are you allowed to do that?” Alex jokes.

“Actually not but just allow it for the time being. My contract is up with Lyon this summer and I have meeting after the world cup to discuss my contract. How would you feel if I request a transfer?”

Never in all the years of dating and marriage had Alex asked you to leave Lyon, not even when Charlie was born. You were one of the best players in the world, Lyon was the team that made you into that and in return you gave them several champions league titles. Sure the topic had been brought up before but you were always under contract so it was hard.

“Are you saying you are ready to leave?”

“No. I’m ready to stop leaving. Charlie is getting older and you heard her, she misses me and I know you do” Alex throws her top at you “You do and I miss you too. I’ve given my life to that club but it’s time I put our family first”

You wouldn’t admit it but today scared you and you knew that it could have been a lot worse than it was. It made you appreciate these moments you had with your family and you wanted to have more of them even if it did mean moving the San Diego.

[jflemings]

PIPER'S WORLD 🪄

everything can be found under #piper’s world

crossed out fics are wips

✿ fluff, ☆ angst

FICS

the first year

(2018)

— getting the good news ✿ ft teagan micah

— first camp ☆ ✿

ages 1-3

(2019-2021)

— the first night ☆

— a helping hand ☆ ✿

— making the best of it ☆ ✿

ages 4-6

(2022-2024)

— busted ✿

— nightmares ✿

— promise ✿ ▼

— looking back ☆ ✿

— mini ✿ ▼

— lovechild ✿

— the smallest man who ever lived ☆, pt2 ✿ , pt3

— under the bus ✿ ▼ ft sam kerr

— can we always be this close? ✿

— raso’s piper’s ribbons ✿ ▼

— meerkat mccabe ✿ ▼

— future planning ✿

ages 7-9

(2025-2027)

— secret keeper ☆ ✿

— not mine ☆ ✿

— troublesome ✿

ages 10-12

(2028-2030)

FAQ's

break up & pregnancy

piper’s godmother

chaotic tillies camp & meeting jessie

jessie coming into the picture & arsenal and auswnt’s reactions

piper + the acl squad & injured reader

kyra, mini and charli moving to london & free baby sitters

who is piper’s godmother

were jessie’s parents worried?

conversations about baby #2

going to camp with jessie, mother’s day cards & sick reader

HEADCANONS

piper and jessie headcanons

meeting the arsenal girls

more arsenal + piper hcs

meeting the chelsea girls

alanna & piper hcs

first time calling jessie mama

jessie’s jersey

piper’s footballing future

the wedding

niamh and sam’s day

aunties leah, steph and sam

the mirroring phase

saint steph & sam accidentally playing cupid

piper’s birth

piper and the fleming’s

tillies post piper

sister plushies

trimester 2

the arsenal vs chelsea debate

invisible string

permission to marry you

piper’s dating questions

[aspoonofsugar]

do you think the song out for love says something about Camilla and veggie and to veggies character arc

Hi!

Yes, it does. I want to talk about Vaggie in other metas too, so in this analysis I will focus on her relationship with Carmilla, since this is what you are mainly asking about.

Before I start, though, I am gonna link to you this meta by @hamliet, where she talks about the main message of the song:

You're gonna fight without gloves And when that push comes to shove Yeah, you just might rise above Long as you're out for love

If you love, you might rise above. So Vaggie, a fallen angel, regrows her wings by choosing love and protection over hate and revenge. The meaning is crystal clear. Love makes you worthy of Heaven. Just like in the finale Pentious ascends thanks to his selfless sacrifice.

This is the meaning of the song when it comes to theme and to the series as a whole.

At the same time it is not by chance this theme comes out so strongly in relation to Carmilla and Vaggie, as they are both tied to "love".

FAMILIAL LOVE AND ROMANTIC LOVE

Carmilla Carmine: So I, I'll be your keeper Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes I'll keep you safe and keep this secret

Vaggie: So I, I'll be your armor Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes I'll spend my life being your partner

Carmilla and Vaggie are set up as foils in episode 3, when they share the song Whatever It Takes. This ballad is a love song, but Carmilla and Vaggie express two different kinds of love:

Carmilla is singing to her daughters (familial)

Vaggie is singing to Charlie (romantic)

This is a pattern throughout the show:

There are two versions of More Than Anything - the first one is about a familial bond, whereas the second explores a romantic relationship

Sir Pentious gets redeemed after expressing his feelings for Cherri (romantic) and sacrificing himself for the Hotel Crew (familial)

So, Hazbin Hotel goes out of its way to celebrate all kinds of positive bonds: platonic, romantic, familial. All of these relationships are enriching and help people grow. Vaggie and Carmilla are two characters linked to this very concept, as they are ready to fight and suffer for their loved ones:

Both: Whatever we go through I know I~ (Carmilla: I'll be your keeper) (Vaggie: I'll be your armor) Whatever it takes (Carmilla: I'll make the mistakes) (Vaggie: I'll make the mistakes) Whatever it takes

They are both warriors, but fight for love. They are out for love. However, Whatever It Takes also highlights a major difference between them.

TRUST AND SELF-EXPRESSION

Scrambled Eggs is an episode about trust. This is true especially for Carmilla and Vaggie, who have opposite secrets:

Carmilla killed an angel

Vaggie is an angel

Throughout the song the conflict between Heaven and Hell is mentioned by Carmilla and is present in subtext in Vaggie's stanza, as she looks at her old home.

Both are struggling under the pressure of these truths and are confronted by a loved one:

Zestial: Carmilla, what troubles thou? Losing thy composure is unlike thee. Carmilla Carmine: It's nothing, Zestial, really.

Charlie: Vaggie, don't say that! You do so much! It's- Vaggie: I'm sorry. I'd… I'd like to be alone for a minute.

Carmilla chooses to open up to Zestial and tells her daughters how much she loves them. Vaggie instead closes herself off and refuses Charlie's attempt to talk. She is singing to Charlie, but Charlie herself isn't present to hear her out. Even when it comes to their respective secrets...

Carmilla says hers in the song:

Carmilla Carmine: I always thought that I would keep blood off my face But when that thing attacked, I had to act To cross that line and keep them safe But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war And who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for

Vaggie only alludes to hers in the lyrics:

Vaggie: When I saw your face You made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place And it felt so good to be understood But there's so much I wished that I could say

Vaggie meets Charlie and feels like a stranger in a brand new place because at the time she is in fact a stranger in a brand new place:

So, Carmilla is able to express herself, while Vaggie can't. This isn't surprising, as Vaggie is basically a child-soldier:

Adam: Do you really think I wouldn't recognize one of my top girls just cuz you're out of uniform? You were on the front lines, I wouldn't forget a bad bitch like you. It's why I named you after the best thing ever. Vaggie.

She is brought up in Adam's army and is taught that love is conditional. She is one of Adam's best fighters, but the moment she makes a "mistake", she is discarded:

Lute: Sinful filth like you has no place in heaven.

This is why she feels Charlie will love her only if she is useful and never messes up:

Vaggie: I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you. (...) If I can't help you, what's the point of me?

This fear of abandonement and rejection is also at the root of Vaggie's inability to tell Charlie about her past:

Adam: I guess I'll just tell little miss butterflies and rainbows that she's been fucking someone who's killed-- thousands of her people. I'm sure your relationship will be fine.

Still, despite her communication issues, Vaggie's heart is in the right place:

Rosie: If there's anything I've learned, it's that words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth. So, what have her actions said?

Vaggie is a person of few words. This may be why she has less songs than other characters. Still, she lets her actions speak, so she is given a ballet lesson by a very talented ballerina:

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

Carmilla has a ballet motif, as her outfit resembles that of a ballerina and her two daughters are called after protagonists of famous ballets. So, it is only natural that she teaches Vaggie a new way to fight through dancing.

Vaggie was taught to fight with hate and anger. So, her fighting style is aggressive and focused on attack:

Carmilla: You leave yourself open with every swing. You fight like someone unafraid of harm, and this is what you'll take advantage of. Angels wield no shields, little armor and fight with reckless abandon.

Carmilla tells her she should instead dedicate herself to love, protection and defense:

Fuel yourself with the fear of losin' That somebody who's your reason to live Harnеss your heart and you can't help choosin' To fight with all you can give

Vaggie shouldn't just fight. She should dance:

She shouldn't hate:

I see you're driven by your detestation Your every step is stoked with animus You need a different type of motivation Or there's no way that you can handle this

She should love:

Out for love~ Love~ Think of who you care about Protect them and be out For love~ Love~

Vaggie listens to these teachings and applies them in the finale, in two ways.

She sings her love for Charlie in More Than Anything Reprise:

Vaggie: You've already done so much So many lives you've changed So many souls you've touched And in the end, if it's only me you've saved Charlie and Vaggie: There's something that I've been dying to say More than anything, more than anything Need you to know I love you more than anything More than anything

As stated above, Vaggie doesn't sing much in season 1, but in the final episode she gets a short moment to express how she feels to Charlie. This is in contrast to Whatever It Takes, where she sends her girlfriend away before she starts singing. More Than Anything Reprise shows Vaggie's progress when it comes to self-expression.

She follows Carmilla's advices while fighting

On a practical level she covers herself up in a battle suit inspired by Carmilla's outfit, she wears a harness on her heart and ties her hair:

Vaggie: I'm not used to fighting with long hair.

On a thematic level she reveals her wings and defeats Lute, when the exorcist threathens Charlie:

Lute: So, I'll spare you the pain of seeing your demon bitch die.

And Vaggie eventually chooses not to kill the other angel:

Lute: Do it, then. Correct your mistake. Vaggie: Seriously, you're pathetic, you know that? Ready to die rather than accepting mercy? No, live. Live knowing that you only do because I let you, the failure.

Vaggie is asked to choose between her hate for Lute and her love for Charlie and she chooses the latter. This is why the scene ends with Vaggie leaving Lute and flying to help Charlie. She is given the chance to get revenge, but doesn't take it. She is given the chance to hate, but she loves:

I know you're thirstin' for vengeance, Vaggie You're out for blood But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love

This is important in two ways:

1- The macrochosm - Vaggie refuses Lute's ideals and defies her expectations. For Lute it is normal that Vaggie is going to kill her. After all, Vaggie is discarded because she shows pity to a sinner, which makes her weak. Still, Vaggie bests Lute in a fight, so she is now strong. It is only obvious then that Vaggie has snapped out of her foolery and is ready to kill. She can correct her mistake. She did not kill the cannibal child, but she can kill Lute. This is how Lute understands the world. And yet, Vaggie doesn't finish her off. By doing so, she moves away from the mentality Lute embodies. She is strong precisely because she can show mercy. Adam is wrong. Lute is wrong. Vaggie isn't out for blood. She is out for love.

2- The microchosm - Vaggie sparing Lute isn't just the morally correct choice, but it is Vaggie's first step into healing:

Husk: (To Vaggie) This one. Judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.

Vaggie hates everyone because she deep down hates herself. She despises Heaven and Angels because she can't forgive her involvement in the exterminations. So, Vaggie hurting Lute would be Vaggie hurting her past self. As a matter of fact Lute is Vaggie's dark mirror. She is who Vaggie might become if she gives in to hate.

A person who hurts others:

And herself:

Vaggie instead has to value her life, so that she can protect others. She must save others and heal herself. Only in this way she can be by Charlie's side. She needs to let go of self-hate to embrace a healthy love. Vaggie's arc is her learning self-love through her bond with the Princess of Hell.

Obviously this journey is just at the beginning and our Angel of Love has a long way to go. How will her story contiue? We can make some hypothesis, which once again stem from Vaggie and Carmilla's foiling. This is just a theory, so take it with a grain of salt, but Vaggie may have a secondary personal antagonist in Hell:

Why is that so? It's because Scrambled Eggs sets Vaggie and Velvette up as foils.

RESPECT(LESS)

Velvette and Vaggie are opposites in their interactions with Carmilla. Both girls are younger than the Dancer Overlord and could learn a lot from her. However, Velvette refuses any kind of mentorship and shows no respect:

Velvette: Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's cause no one could respect this! You're long past trending! Sorry, bae, but I ain't swiping right! You've lost your relevance-

Vaggie instead comes to respect Carmilla and learns from her:

At the same time, both Velvette and Vaggie confront Carmilla about her secret:

Velvette: 'Oops!' Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, couldn't help but observe, that your wrinkled face was turning red! And why are you avoiding war? That's what the guns you sell are for! Thanks to my being respectless, one thing I'm starting to suspect is You know why this angel's headless! Do you have a disclosure?

Vaggie: I know what you did on extermination day. We can talk about it inside, or I can yell about it out here.

They call Carmilla out on killing an angel and keeping this knowledge to herself. Not only that, but both argue that it is necessary to fight back to stop the exterminations:

Velvette: We found it during Extermination day. If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them. The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan!

Vaggie: Miss Carmine, I'm here on appointment from the princess to enlist your aid in the defense of hell from the angelic extermination. We know an angel fell at your hands and we need to know how.

Still, Velvette fails to get through to Carmilla because she uses war rhetoric:

Velvette: Oh, I get it. So Grandpa is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right? Oh, what's the matter, Fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab...

She speaks of violence, strength and power.

Vaggie instead convinces Carmilla to help because she mentions the necessity to fight for loved ones:

Vaggie: We didn't pick this fight, but it's here now. And they aren't going to stop with us. You didn't see the look on their leader's face. With us out of the way, it's only a matter of time before they come for the rest of you. They won't stop until all of hell is wiped out, so you can help us make a stand here together, or you can stand alone tomorrow.

She speaks of protection, love and comraderie.

In short, Vaggie succeeds where Velvette fails. Of course, this is true for Charlie's group in general when it comes to the Vees:

Vox: My dear people! We at VoxTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront of innovation. And now, with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting our focus, to your protection. We are pleased to announce VoxTek Angelic Security is coming soon! Trust us, with YOUR safety.

Katie Killjoy: Breaking news - Extermination day is cancelled! Charlie Morningstar managed to fend off the angelic attack with more than just nice words.

The Vees make big declarations of how they are gonna protect the people of Hell, but in the end it is Charlie and her friends who fight for the sinners.

When it comes to Vaggie and Velvette specifically, it is going to be interesting if their foiling is expanded. If so, then I guess Velvette is gonna help Vaggie mature a little bit more, so that when our ex exorcist faces Lute (her nemesis) again, she is gonna be ready for it.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Alright, gonna rattle off some Hazbin Hotel theories just to get them out of my system:

1) The Key that Lilith gave Charlie is the key to the pearly gates, aka a way into heaven. Which is why the cat didn't like Sir Pretentious until he was redeemable and why the key is the symbol used to depict the hotel on both the logo of the show and the logo on the hotel.

2) Lilith didn't just abandon everyone to vacay in heaven. Following my previous theory, she already had the key to heaven (likely given to her by Adam as a 'please come back 🥺🥺🥺' gift). From Charlie's recounting of the story, her mom loves hell and thrives down there so I'm really not buying this whole 'retire in heaven as Adam's rebound' thing. I'm going to say that Lilith infiltrated heaven under the guise of taking back Adam and being 'the good wife' again but she is 100% using her access to heaven to pull strings and get her grand plan going. She may have to keep Lute happy next season to keep her access, but it's not because she's a turncoat, it's because she's got motives.

3) Throwing this out there: I think it has something to do with Eve! I haven't even met Eve yet but I ship Eve and Lilith. Maybe Adam had Eve locked up somewhere and Lilith is trying to free her or, maybe Eve disappeared, hence why Adam wanted a new wife and Lilith is trying to find her or something.

4) Carmilla is Eve. Yeah, so the name Carmilla means 'Garden or Orchid', Carmine means 'Song or Crimson Red', she looks EXACTLY like Lilith except with a different color palette (and she's wearing angel steel ballet shoes and gloves), she styles her hair up to look like horns but she doesn't actually have any of her own, she killed an angel, she knew all about angel weaknesses and how to kill them, she figured out how to reforge angel steel into new weapons, and, most importantly, SHE HAS TWO KIDS THAT SHE IS VERY PROTECTIVE OF.

Now, part of me wants to say that Zestial, the confirmed oldest sinner in Hell, the super powerful demon that rules over the other overlords who cares immensely about Carmilla and vice versa, is actually Cain. Cain, aka Eve's son and the first murderer (and theologically rumored to be Lucifer's child which uhhhhh, the show kinda seems to be hinting at with Lucifer implying that him and Eve had a thing?) So yeah, I like the idea that Carmilla loves her son despite his flaws and is trying to keep him safe in hell (knowing that Abel is completely fine in heaven)

But I also kinda want to say that Odette is Abel and Clara is Cain? Look, Odette is wearing a headband with demon horns sticking out of it. Her horns look fake. Also, come on, Odette and Clara?? As in the lead characters from Swan Lake and the Nutcracker?? I'm not going to get into why renaming Cain after Clara from the NUTCRACKER is hilarious as it's pretty obvious. But renaming Abel after Odette, the princess with wings who literally dies and ends up in heaven at the end of the play, is also pretty obvious ngl. So I do also kinda think that Eve and Abel were chilling in heaven and then either Abel fell or Eve got word about the annual culling of sinners, and the two of them took on fake names and reunited with Cain/Clara. Eve is determined to do whatever it takes to keep her children safe and, while she does not like participating in violence, she will kill to protect her daughters. (And potentially Zestial is Clara's father? As Cain is rumoured to be either Lucifer's child or a demon's child)

EDIT: Okay I literally just realized that in the song "Whatever it Takes" she hugs her daughters and says that she will "be their keeper" which is a play on what Cain said to God after killing Abel. God asked where Abel was and Cain said "I am not my brother's keeper." So Carmilla in that song is vowing to keep her daughters safe by preventing war with heaven and being "their keeper".

5) Adam created all of the Exorcists from his ribs. Adam mentioned that he named Vaggie which either implies that Adam is Vaggie's father or that Adam created the entire Exorcist race. Considering Lilith and Eve were both created from Adam's ribs, all the Exorcists are women, they're called 'sisters', and all of them are bone white with 'angel blood' gold eyes, I think the dude just straight up made them all with his bones! Adam even offered a plate of ribs to Charlie when he was taunting her about killing off her citizens!

Anyway, these are my Hazbin Hotel theories. Let me know what you think!

[theyapper0]

Litte details abt my Hazbin rewrite that i wanna share :)

OK SO!!! IT'S DOOOOOONEEEE!!!!!!

So I FINALLY finished drawing out everything I wrote out for some major plot point in my hazbin rewrite 😋 BUT!!!

There's some things that I have made art of or talked about that are sorta important (but they're really not, just some silly things that I pictured in this that I never got the chance to talk about yet LOL!!!)

If you don't really care, feel free to skip this but there are some little doodles here too that will basically get all my points across just as well!

-So first point, I've touched on this a little bit here but Niffty and Husk are BROS. Like fr ride or die with each other.

In this rewrite, I want Niffty to have been an overlord like Husk (or at least just as powerful as he is because I feel like Alastor is EXTREMELY attracted to power and he wouldn't just make deals with weak as shit people unless he was gaining something GRAND).

But Husk and Niffty, they both.... really hate Alastor. I think Husk is much more vocal with his hatred towards Alastor but do NOT be fooled, NIFFTY WANTS HIS ASS IN THE GROUND TOO!!!!!!

And I think it's because of this hatred, because of this shared, unfortunate situation that they've both found themselves in in regards to being contracted to the Radio Demon, I think they are really close. Like, they look out for each other and watch each others backs because who else is gonna do it? ALASTOR? LOL!!!!

-Here's my Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb designs!! I realized when I was making all those drawings for the rewrite that I never drew them! So here they are! 😋

Pentious has prosthetic arms that he made himself not too long after he arrived in Hell YEARS AGO bc I wanted to REAAALLY lean into the whole snake thing. And I also made him more steampunk-y because I think it's cool and that he'd look super adorable with little gear markings on his scales

And I read that Cherri died in around the 80's so I wanted to give her an aussie rocker look LMAOO Wild hair, big ol' hoop earrings and tattered clothes because she's COOL!!

-Niffty is the (m)hotel's maid/rooms keeper still (and it was only SLIGHTLY degrading in the beginning). The biggest reasons Alastor made her the maid is because of her OCD (he's an old man from the 1930's, he thinks OCD means being a neat freak) and because she is able to control all kinds of insects and vermin- which the hotel is INFESTED with

Niffty is also the only one with a spare key to Charlie and Vaggie's house, she's honestly the one they trust the MOST out of everyone at the hotel to have a key to their place in case of an emergency (and she only abuses it SOMETIMES)

-HUSK IS NOT THE HOTEL BARTENDER IN THIS!!!!!!

When I designed the hotel to look more like a motel, obviously there was no place to put a bar and I WANTED THAT! Like, I understand the humor in having a bar in a rehabilitation facility (it IS REALLY FUNNY I KNOW) but I really don't think that, even in this, neither Charlie or Vaggie would allow Alastor or Angel or anyone else to tell THEM what the hotel needs.

Like, they LITERALLY built this place with their BARE HANDS, I think they're both verrrry resistant to any changes and such that others may want to implement (for both the good and bad), even if that person was THE Radio Demon

So instead, Alastor had brought him in as a sorta bodyguard for the hotel (as a huge middle finger to Vaggie, who is not only the hotel manager but also is a very ready protector of this place)

(Husk DOES still sell liquor though, like that is something that is totally happening, it's just very hush-hush. He keeps it in his room and sells it to the patrons of the hotel (sometimes Pretentious and most of the time it's just Angel. Charlie and Vaggie have no idea this is happening))

(Niffty 100% knows since she's the one who cleans the rooms but she wouldn't sell out Husk because that's her bro)

-And speaking of the Radio Demon!!! Neither Charlie or Vaggie are scared of him. I mean, they're not really scared of him in canon (they could be sometimes tho ig)

Charlie is one of the strongest beings in Hell and Vaggie is (secretly) an angel who, as far as they all know, can't be killed by a Sinner. So neither of them are really threatened by him. Vaggie definitely voices this more than Charlie does, in fact, Charlie is almost always more than happy to just let Alastor talk and threaten as much as he wants because she's not violent and is very humble (that's what good people do, right?)

Alastor is also just as good of a Facility Manager of the Hazbin Hotel as he is in canon, and by that I mean he does not do his job and when he does, he sucks at it LOLLLL. He is very unhelpful.

-Sundays are the only day where the hotel isn't doing any reformative work/lessons so it's everyones' day off (it's holy day AMEN!) 

(Charlie WOULD make them pray on Sundays if it wasn't for the fact that every time she would try to guide a prayer, she would bleed from every hole in her body) 

-AND THE LAST POINT IS....

The Hazbin Hotel doesn't JUST do lessons in goodness, they also teach about the 10 Commandments and go on “field trips” to do volunteer work (soup kitchens, cleaning parks, helping Hell with one smile at a time :)

Thanks for reading and be sure to check in tomorrow for the first page of a comic retelling Charlie's meeting with Adam in episode one!!!