#While I was struggling to sleep
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owlhead650 · 2 months ago
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I've been thinking about how fucked up the interceptor's relationship with M2 is. And I'm not talking about shipping them even if that's a uniquely intense way to show what their life experiences did to them.
I'm talking about how M2 was in the same position Crescent was in, even if M2 probably never thinks of it. While she and the character we selected (in my case Aevis) are both in the frozen despair world for a few years (not the official name but still accurate) she writes in this diary. She writes about how she hates the fact that she's stuck there with Aevis of all people. If she made a tier list of everyone she could tolerate being stuck with from most favourable to the worst, then Aevis would be at the fuck bottom of F tier.
This is because he looks like the interceptor, he sounds like the interceptor, but he's actually a total stranger. She hates the interceptor but can't even take her anger out on them because they aren't with her. She's stuck with this skin walker imposter. Of course we know Aevis is technically 'the original' but not to Melia. Like Crescent was frustrated by her old friend acting like they didn't know her, and on renegade comes to see them as a parasite that stole his body, M2 basically experiences that with Aevis because to her the interceptor is 'the original' and 'real one'.
M2 writes in her diary that she wants to see the colour red again, that she wants to see the interceptor again. That she's going to hurt Aevis, just because he looks like the interceptor. Except unlike Crescent M2's wish comes true. She gets to see her beloathed old friend again. They say that love isn't exactly the opposite of hate, that paying that much attention to someone makes them important to you, even if it's in a bad way.
This is M2 and the interceptor.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 26 days ago
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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araekniarchive · 2 years ago
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@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal
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your-unfriendlyghost · 2 months ago
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how the gang sleeps headcannons let’s go!
Johnny: can literally fall asleep anywhere. Light sleeper, but falls asleep really fast most of the time
Dallas: sleeps fully clothed outta laziness half the time- i mean in the scene at Buck’s he was literally wearing jeans for some fucking reason. Often has his head under a pillow ‘cuz there’s always loud music playing. He also probably doesn’t know that you’re supposed to change your sheets.
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Two-Bit: Does know you’re supposed to change sheets, but still doesn’t change them. Moves a lot and sometimes wakes up upside down in the morning.
Steve: hugs a pillow cuz he’s touch starved asf. Runs warm and hates using a blanket because it’s sweaty, but also hates not using a blanket because it’s cold, so he’s gotta do that “one leg under one leg over” thing
Darry: takes forever to fall asleep, but once he’s asleep, he’s practically knocked out. often has to sleep through the gang’s chaos, so this is pretty useful
Sodapop: either hates sleeping or loves it with no in between, like a kid who whines about bed time but then sleeps in till noon. walks around wrapped up in a blanket on winter mornings while procrastinating on getting dressed (ADHD’ll do that). Sometimes hauls himself outta bed only to fall asleep again curled up on the floor on the way to his closet.
Ponyboy: Sometimes wakes up with Soda’s limbs pinning him down which is annoying. Probably has a bit of insomnia, and obviously struggles with nightmares. Has sleep-talked before and it always jumpscares Soda
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zehl0w · 2 months ago
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Happy birthday my baby boy my present to you is my first ever fully finished comic
#genzen#zengen#genya x zenitsu#genya shinazugawa#zenitsu agatsuma#muichirou tokitou#himejima gyomei#muichiro tokito#himejima gyoumei#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#I've been agonizing over the idea of their first ever sleepover ouygeudgdggjdhgjj#it's so funny bc the only reason I started drawing this comic is literally just bc I wanted to draw zen with a nightbrace 💀#I must project my adolescent orthodontic pain and struggle onto zenitsu agatsuma or else my life will end#I imagine this is like. they're not quite yet all the way friends but they're getting there hehe#little do yall know what this will blossom into.......#the last page is supposed to be like. zen listening to genyas heartbeat slowing down while he falls asleep hehehe#speaking of the last page#I completely forgot to draw the nightbrace on those last two panels LMFAOOOOO OOPS#this comic has spawned genuinely just. some of my favorite Genya drawings I've ever made#especially the one of him yawning it's so. ouywghdhj. my gneys.#there was gonna be an extra page after the this is nice panel where zen is all relaxed and sleeping#and then just. gets woken back up by the most HORRIFIC beastly sounding snore possible from Genya#but i couldn't figure out how to draw it so i just left it on a sweet note hehehe#never in my life did I think I would draw as many statues of Buddha as I have. thanks Genya.#speaking of it always very much surprises zen to find out that Genya is like fully and wholly religious he does not seem like the type atAL
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verdemoth · 1 month ago
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(CLOSED FOR NOW) EMERGENCY 'mice in the walls :(' COMMISSIONS
Update 01-16-2025: got some comms fast! I have 3 people w 4 artworks to work on right now so I’ll see how this small batch shakes out before i bite off more than I can chew, thank you everybody 💖💕
Art Examples mostly from the last year or so. More examples in the '#my art' tag on this blog
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Yeah there's mice in the walls and ceiling and it's far too large a problem to put off or take care of on our own with a few traps. I live with my grandma, grandpa, and granny, and all four of us are disabled and can't work, so we have very little money and many problems requiring money, it's quite a pinch. Need to start getting pest control ASAP so I'm opening commissions in the hope of easing the financial strain as much as I can.
Paypal is my only way of accepting payment right now. I will expect payment in full via invoice after I have provided a sketch for feedback purposes & proof of work. Once payment is received, artwork will be completed as soon as possible. If an issue on my end prevents me from completing the work in a timely manner, full or partial refunds can be discussed depending on the state of the work done.
My prices can be haggled with, but at a baseline I estimate:
Coloured Fullbody -> 30 USD/43 CAD
Coloured Headshot/Bust -> 15 USD/22 CAD
Sketch Fullbody -> 10 USD/15 CAD
Sketch Headshot/Bust -> 5 USD/7 CAD
*Coloured works may be lineless or lined
Free Additions: simple accessories (eg glasses, some jewellery), simple minimal shading, some simple props (+ won't charge extra for disability aids/accessibility items), request a specific style I've used in past works
Additions at Extra Charge (discussed on a case-by-case basis): extra characters/extra artwork, complex time-consuming designs/outfits/props/poses, Extra Extra Clean lineart, scene elements, full & layered shading based on light sources, background scenery
I can do custom designs but expect prices to be higher for the extra time and work
Vetos: I will not take human/majority humanoid or complex mech comms right now as that is a great deal more work for me that I don't feel I can currently fulfill up to my own standard of quality (may change as I get a sense for my current limitations). I don't draw NSFW or fetish content in any circumstances. May reject comms I'm personally uncomfortable with
Specialty: Any variety of animals, creatures, monsters, and etc. Extant, extinct, fantasy, mashup. Especially if feral, but most anthro characters will also do.
When the artwork/design comm is payed for and done, it belongs to the commissioner to do what they want with. Credit is requested, if on toyhouse I'm Tala2121.
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miss-lucy-not-westenra · 2 years ago
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he’s so babygirl <3
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guys please pray for me
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sluckythewizard · 9 months ago
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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k1tty5 · 2 months ago
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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you
(they are gorgeous I love them sm)
hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)
apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!
ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.
this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?
I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.
and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,
i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.
most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!
hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.
#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles#i guess i’ll tag this as#smalletho#and#trafficshipping#for filtering#when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um#being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum#i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters#like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else#and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head#it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known#because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL#dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL#sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts#unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words#and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane#and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside#anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.
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celestial-toys · 4 months ago
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That I Would Be Good [3/5]
Whatever It's Worth
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“For whatever it’s worth, I think it always looks fine. I think you fuss over it too damn much, but regardless… it’s… fine. You always look fine to me. You’d look fine even if you didn’t have any hair at all.”
A small smile blooms across your features as his words sink in. “That’s… that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever given me, Sun.”
You turn and he lets the ends of your hair slip from his hands, looking a bit caught off guard at your sudden motion. You ignore his false eyes and look directly into the camera in the center of his screen. “Thank you.”
He remains frozen for a moment before his display dims to black and he turns, quickly scrubbing the worst remnants of conditioner off of his hands and onto a nearby towel. “I think your hair has been conditioned enough.”
- - - - - - -
In This Chapter
Sun attempts some level-headed honesty with his hands in your hair, and Moon gets a little overzealous when it comes to his unofficial position as Household Chef.
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Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader
Word Count: 4,779
Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [implied EDNOS] [invasion of privacy] [implication of past self-harming behavior] [Reader has their period (not graphically described)] [discussion of menstruation] [discussion of various foods and nutrition] [one (1) use of a fem gendered term for Reader] [discussion and feelings of dysphoria] [eating]
A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.
This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.
Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3 (you are here)] [Ch.4] [Ch.5]
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That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth.
After rinsing the remainder of lightly-tinted soap suds out of your hair, off of your body, and down the drain, you bend down to turn the shower off. Gently squeezing the worst of the water out of your locks, you straighten back up and pull the shower door aside.
Then you shout.
“SUN! What the fuck are you doing?!”
You quickly step behind the blurry frosted glass of the shower door, leaving only your head peeking around the edge. You shiver in the relatively cold air that rushes to fill the shower stall as you await an answer. The solar automaton is currently leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed and casual as ever, monitor flipped around 180 degrees in what you assume was meant to be a silent assurance that he wasn’t watching you.
“I have a question.”
Your eyes pinch closed and your features scrunch up in frustration, silently asking any higher power out there to grant you the patience to deal with this nonsense. “And it couldn’t wait until I got dressed?”
He shrugs. “I don’t see why it would need to.”
You silently press your forehead against the cool metal of the shower door’s frame.
“…Are you decent yet or must I continue admiring the grout between the tiles on this wall behind me?”
You huff, reaching out of the shower and grabbing your bathrobe off of its designated hook. “Just one… damn second…” You cinch the rope around your waist and step gingerly out onto the bath mat. “Okay, I’m ‘decent.’ Now—pray tell—what do you need to ask me?”
He leans his upper body away from the wall, rays retracting to give himself enough clearance to flip his monitor around. His rays slide back out in tandem after he turns his head to face you, and he rests his shoulders against the wall once more. “I was wondering why you’ve taken three showers today.”
You stand there, blinking in disbelief. “That’s it?”
“Yes. It’s… concerning. I wanted to make sure you weren’t up to any… harmful behaviors in here while left unsupervised.”
You roll your eyes. “‘Left unsupervised…’ What is this, some kind of inpatient program? Christ, Sun, this is my house! Can’t I catch a break?”
You throw your arms up in frustration, and he doesn’t answer you immediately. It isn’t until you deflate, dropping your exaggerated expression and bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose that he finally responds in a quieter tone. “You… concern me. I don’t know what to do.”
You sigh, trying to reign in your frustration.
Sometimes you forget that he has a lot less experience with being a person than you do.
You try to cut him some slack. “Sun, I appreciate the concern over my wellbeing. But I promise you, the only destructive behavior going on in this bathroom today is the damage I'm doing to my hair.”
He’s quiet, processing your words for a moment before he announces an observation. “It’s a lighter shade than it was this morning.”
You nod. “I sure hope it is. I’ve been in here washing the hell out of it with this fading treatment, trying to get the color I wanted.”
His expression is something between confused and disapproving. “You aren’t supposed to do that. It’s bad for your hair to wash it so much.”
You turn to the mirror and toy with your hair, dismissing him. “Yeah, yeah. Jeez, who are you, my hairdresser?”
He steps into view beside you in the mirror, leaning in closer to examine your hair. “Maybe if you’d gone to one instead of DIY-ing it you’d have gotten the color you wanted.”
You lock eyes with his reflection for a long moment. “…Touché.”
He seems pleased enough with your response, stepping back a bit and watching you futz with your hair in the mirror.
“Have your concerns been quelled now, or…?”
“…I suppose.” He replies, making no move to exit the bathroom.
“…Well then are you gonna just stand there and watch me apply my leave-in conditioner or what?”
He ignores your question, leaning in close to you again. Pinching the end of a damp lock of hair between the pads of his fingers, he hums his dissent. “You really need to quit fucking with your hair if you want to still have any left.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Goodness, the way you worded that almost sounds like a threat!”
His eyes meet yours in the mirror again and he smirks. “No… just a warning.”
He drags the tail end of your hair along the palm of his opposite hand, like idly toying with a paintbrush. “You’re always awfully concerned about the appearance of your hair.”
You cock a brow up at that. “Are you sure that isn’t a threat, Sun?”
A noise escapes him: half-scoff, half-laugh, and he sounds oddly genuine when he reassures you. “It’s not. I just… noticed.”
He releases your hair and you can finally lean far enough away to open the cabinet. “Mhm. What don’t you notice.”
He ignores your comment in favor of hitting you with another set of sudden left-field questions. “Are you afraid of getting older? Or are you afraid of losing control.”
Your hand halts, hovering halfway toward retrieving the conditioner from the cabinet, and drops back down to your side as you turn to face him. “What?”
“I’ve learned that some people dye their hair because they want to appear younger than they are. I’ve also seen many posts online where people describe making drastic changes to their hair while going through something difficult in their life. The concept appears in a number of song lyrics too. It seems to me like an attempt at gaining a sense of control.”
The fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that they’re always asking questions and compiling information about the world around them.
The not-so-fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that they’re always asking questions and compiling information about the world around them.
You’d liken it to having a fully grown adult with the curiosity and learning capacity of a child, if you didn’t want to feel even weirder about your “Creator x Creation” dynamic than you already do sometimes.
“While I… appreciate your attempts to psychoanalyze me based on my hair-dyeing habits, I regret to inform you that it’s neither of those things for me, Sunny.” You consider it a moment more, and add on. “…As far as I’m aware, at least.”
His head tilts to the side a bit. “You don’t have to patronize me.”
“I… wasn’t?”
“You used that name for me. ‘Sunny.’ It made your statement sound… patronizing.”
Another fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that you get to clear up all sorts of little miscommunications.
“Oh, no, I—I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m sorry, Sun. That wasn’t my intention.”
He doesn’t let it go so quickly. “Based on my calculations, a nickname like that tends to be used in one of three ways—patronizing, dismissive, or affectionate. Care to clarify which one it was?”
You level him with an unamused stare. “No, I don’t care to clarify.”
You then turn to retrieve the conditioner from the cabinet, effectively shutting down that line of questioning. You grab the body lotion while you’re at it, and as you set your items down on the counter, you attempt to free yourself of your overly-curious bathroom companion. “Unless you’re waiting around to help me put this stuff in my hair, I'm afraid it’s time for you to go find something else to do for a little while, Sun.”
His response is… unexpected. “I… can help.”
What has gotten into this guy recently? Used to be you had to fight to get one nice word out of him and now here he is playing ‘20 Questions’ and offering to condition your hair?
“I… didn’t expect you to actually—”
“If you didn’t want me to offer then why’d you ask?”
You squint at him, unamused. “Sun, c’mon, I know you grasp the concepts of sarcasm and rhetoric.”
Once again ignoring your statement, he pushes himself away from the wall and holds out his upturned palms in an open gesture of offering. “Would you like me to help or not?”
You’re quite sure he expects you to turn him down, so you agree to his offer, if for no other reason than to subvert his expectations. “You know what? Yeah, sure. I’d love the help, Sunny.”
He freezes for a moment—processing—but you’ve gotta admit, he collects himself surprisingly fast, apparently feeling up to the challenge.
Once you explain how much of the product to use and how to apply it, you quickly find yourself staring into the mirror, watching Sun carefully and methodically work conditioner into your hair and wondering how you got here.
Eventually a question pops up and you break through his focused silence. “Does it really look lighter than it did earlier today?”
“…Yes. But if you want my honest opinion it looked just fine before you scrubbed the life out of it three times.”
You huff in surprise at his bluntness. “Damn, okay, tell me how you really feel…”
“When have you ever known me to mince my words?”
“I know, I know. It’s fine. I appreciate your honesty.”
Silence settles over the two of you for another few moments, but he eventually pipes back up. “For whatever it’s worth, I think it always looks fine. I think you fuss over it too damn much, but regardless… it’s… fine. You always look fine to me. You’d look fine even if you didn’t have any hair at all.”
A small smile blooms across your features as his words sink in. “That’s… that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever given me, Sun.”
You turn and he lets the ends of your hair slip from his hands, looking a bit caught off guard at your sudden motion. You ignore his false eyes and look directly into the camera in the center of his screen. “Thank you.”
He remains frozen for a moment before his display dims to black and he turns, quickly scrubbing the worst remnants of conditioner off of his hands and onto a nearby towel. “I think your hair has been conditioned enough.”
Your tone quickly becomes teasing. “Aww, is somebody flustered?”
He reaches for the doorknob. “It’s time for me to walk Zero. I trust you can moisturize the rest of yourself without my assistance.”
Quickly making his very smooth retreat, as your laughter subsides, you’re left there to apply your lotion in thoughtful silence.
That I would be great if I was no longer Queen.
“Does this feel more like an ‘apple-cinnamon’ or ‘banana-walnut’ kind of day?”
You release a soft sigh as you raise your head from where it’d been… briefly planted atop your crossed arms, and you lean back into your seat at the kitchen table. “You really don’t have to do every single thing for me, Moon.”
His monitor clicks, spinning a few degrees back and forth to accompany his playful rebuttal. “And leave me with no task to occupy these idle hands? Why, I feel like that’d be just cruel.” The pout he wears doesn’t do much to convince you, nor to ease the guilt you feel.
He can tell as much, and tries a more serious approach. “Star… you’re menstruating. From what I can tell, this is a more painful period than normal. I’m sure in no small part due to the excess stress you’ve been under this past month. You deserve to rest as much as possible right now.”
“I figured you’d be in favor of me getting up and moving around. Isn’t that supposed to help in the long-run?”
He nods. “It can. But it tends to help the most when stretching and physical activity is maintained throughout the entire monthly cycle, not just once you’re already bleeding and in pain.”
His explanation is straightforward, but soft spoken, everything in his tone and body language obviously trying not to offend, accuse, or criticize. “Besides, bugging you to exercise tends to fall more under Sun’s jurisdiction, and he’s had his reasons for prioritizing other aspects of your well-being this month.”
Speak of the devil, Moon’s other half strides into the kitchen with Zero trailing closely behind. He has no trouble falling into the conversation. “I can help you through some gentle stretches later today if you’d like, but I second the notion that you should rest right now. I don’t need to hear any more groans and curses from you like I heard after you insisted on cleaning up the living room and prepping your own dinner last night.”
You rest your chin in your palm. “I ‘insisted’ because I just… I feel like I put too much on you guys. You don’t deserve to have to do all this shit for me.”
Sun scoffs, speaking with his back to you as he pulls open a cabinet door. “Trust me, you’re doing us all a favor by letting this one over here dote on you. I fear he’d go mad if there wasn’t always some task he could busy himself with, and he seems to favor any task that falls under the realm of taking care of you.” He turns to face you, mug in hand. “Now, what do you want to drink?”
You’d laugh at the juxtaposition of his words and his actions, but the deep pain of another cramp sets in and you weakly wave a hand in defeat. “Just some hot water, please.” He hums in confirmation and moves to grab the kettle. You turn your focus back to Moon. “I’ll let you… appease your instincts. It’s kinda my fault that you’ve got ‘em in the first place.”
His expression brightens, round eyes curling into his signature crescents. “Good! Now, shall I list your options again?”
You shake your head and hum a negative, mulling it over for a moment as you take hold of the steaming mug of water that Sun quietly slides in front of you. “Uhh… actually, can I just have it plain today?”
Moon smiles softly, head twisted back over his shoulder to look at you while he pulls a carton of dry oats from the pantry. “Of course, star. Would you like some sugar on it or do you want it truly plain?”
You shove aside the inner voice whispering to you about ‘empty calories’. “…I guess a little brown sugar wouldn’t hurt.”
Moon brightens a little at your answer. “Good choice! I hear that brown sugar gives it a maple syrup-y taste thanks to the molasses. Oh, that makes me think of pancakes! And waffles! And french toast! I should make one of those tomorrow. How does that sound?”
You smile at his growing excitement over tomorrow’s breakfast, in spite of the fact that he won’t even get to partake. Another cramp sets in as you respond and you try to keep the strain out of your voice. “They all sound good, but I don’t know if I can choose right now…”
He gently places a small pot of water on the stove, turning the burner’s dial with practiced precision. “That’s alright, there’s no rush! It’s just some—heh—food for thought!”
Sun groans at the joke, and Moon defends it. “Hey, no—that was a good one!”
Zero noses at Sun’s hand, stealing his attention before he can begin to debate with Moon. As you passively watch him pull the dog’s breakfast from the fridge, a random thought occurs. “Do we still have any Ruffles left?”
Moon opens a different cabinet and shuffles a few bags around in his search. “Weeee… do!”
You’re hesitant to request the odd combination, but your craving wins the inner battle. “Can I… have some of those too?”
“You certainly can!”
Sun reaches past Moon to grab Zero’s bowl from the dish rack, speaking beneath his mechanical breath. “Sugar and salt, what a breakfast.”
“They’re fine choices!” Moon chipperly responds, the word ‘fine’ punctuated by a small smack to the back of Sun’s monitor.
Sun’s rays retract as he ducks down and steps back, distancing himself from Moon’s reach. “I never said they weren’t.” He sets Zero’s bowl on the counter with emphasis. “But you might want to throw some sort of multivitamin in with that salty-sweet mix.”
“I always see to it that they meet their daily needs, Sun.” Moon’s voice rarely wavers from its amicable tone, but there’s an undercurrent of finality to it now that quiets any further commentary from his other half.
As he stirs the simmering oats on the stove, his monitor turns to face you. “Oh, speaking of! I was thinking about making you something with spinach and tofu for lunch. You could use the iron, and the magnesium might help to ease your cramps. Plus the vitamin C should help you absorb the iron, and- oh! I could add some wild rice, or potatoes. The additional B vitamins should help the magnesium, and they support progesterone prod—” The kitchen timer dings, stealing his attention and interrupting his ensuing nutritional ramble.
Twisting his head back around, he turns the burner’s dial off. “Anyways—point is—how does that sound to you? I could cube the tofu and toss it into a spinach salad, I could slice and fry it and arrange it together on a sandwich, or I could even sauté the spinach and make a tofu scramble!”
His excited discussion of all of your lunch options is a bit overwhelming to you, considering you haven’t even conquered breakfast yet. Still, you bear in mind that he’s only trying to help, over-enthusiastic as he may be sometimes. “Uhm… the sandwich sounds nice.”
“Alright! Then it shall be yours.” He moves to pass behind you, enroute to retrieve a bowl from the other side of the kitchen, wrapping an arm around your blanket-clad shoulders in a brief embrace. “Anything the Queen of the castle desires is hers upon command.”
You both giggle a bit at his playful expression, and Sun rolls his eyes, accompanied by a dramatic gagging sound. Zero’s happy tail thwacks repeatedly against one leg of the kitchen table. All is well.
Except it isn’t.
As Moon returns to the stove and Sun portions out Zero’s meal, you struggle to fight back the feeling that what he’d just said didn’t sit right.
It had nothing to do with his devotion to service and everything to do with the concept of you being “Queen.” All of this morning’s focus on your menstrual cycle, coupled with this ‘princess’ treatment and compounded by his casual use of feminine terms for you, suddenly has you feeling more like a woman than you suppose you’d like to.
Trying to push the nagging uncomfortable feeling aside, you pull your phone from your sweatpants pocket. You attempt to distract yourself with a mindless scroll through your notifications as the pleasant smell of your breakfast fills the room.
After presenting Zero with her own breakfast, Sun takes a seat across from you at the small table. You can feel his analytical gaze on you, pointedly avoiding eye contact when you glance up from your phone to sip your water.
By the time Moon presents you with your breakfast, the feeling has done nothing but rapidly fester. You try to distract yourself with the meal, but not even the absurd sight of your requested potato chips—on a plate, methodically arranged by size and laid atop one another in a spiral—is enough to rid you of it. You do your best to sound unbothered when you thank him, and he falters as he moves to step away from the table. “You’re very welc-ome… Is, uh… everything okay, star?”
Sun doesn’t beat around the bush. “Something’s wrong. Is the pain getting worse?”
You’re quick to shake your head. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. Just… thinking about something.”
Moon’s hand comes to rest on the back of the nearest empty chair. “Well… talking tends to help people sort their thoughts out, no? We’re all ears if you’d like to get it off your chest.”
You hesitate and Sun straightens in his seat. “If my presence is preventing you from opening up, I can leave the room.”
Your gaze flicks to him, brows knitted. “What? No, no—I… why would you think that?”
He shrugs. If the notion bothers him, he doesn’t let it show. “I’m sure Moon is… the easier of the two of us to talk to. You seemed to be getting more uncomfortable the longer I sat here. Makes sense to me that maybe you’d rather me not hear about whatever’s going on.”
You start to feel a bit guilty that that’s the conclusion he jumped to. “No, Sun, that’s not… I mean, okay—yeah, I could feel you watching me, but just about anyone gets uncomfortable when they know they’re being watched. Your penchant for staring isn’t… you’re not keeping me from opening up.” You look him directly in the eye. “There isn’t anything I’d say to one of you that I wouldn’t want the other to hear. I don’t want either of you thinking that.”
Sun’s fingertips drum along the table and his faceplate clicks to the side. “Okay then, what is stopping you?”
You pull in a deep breath, internally debating whether it’s even worth explaining.
“You… don’t have to tell us, if you really don’t want to.”
You give Moon a tired smile, opening your mouth only for a defeated sigh to fall out. “It’s… nothing, really. Stupid, even.”
Moon frowns. “Did one of us do or say something wrong?”
“No… I mean—not really. Not intentionally! It’s just…” You groan, resting your forehead in your palms. “I feel uncomfortably… feminine. Today. For some reason.”
He nods slowly. “Oh…kay…”
You attempt to elaborate. “I know I don’t talk about it much. You guys know I use She/They pronouns and there’s no more explanation really required. But… I don’t know. Something lately has just had me wishing I was more masculine. Or—at least more androgynous, I guess. And with all this focus on my period, and—”
Sun, the ever patient listener he is, cuts you off. “Menstruation is not inherently feminine. Any human can have periods if they have a uterus.”
You nod quickly. “Yes—I—I agree, but you’ve gotta take into account that that’s a relatively new take on the concept. It’s a good one, of course, but… a lot of people still associate having periods with being a woman. It’s been so tied to femininity for so long, always seen as a ‘woman’s issue’ that… it can be a difficult thing to un-internalize. It’s a common cause of dysphoria in transmasc and nonbinary people.”
He listens intently, rays slowly circling his head as he considers your point. “Right… right. I see. That makes sense.”
You take a pause to sip your cooling drink and recall where you left off. “It… honestly doesn’t usually bother me this bad. I couldn’t tell you what’s different about this month, it’s just not sitting well with me. But I do appreciate knowing that you two don’t see it as making me feminine. That does help. It’s just…” You shake your head. “Ugh, this is so silly…”
Moon slowly pulls back on the chair he’s been holding onto, stepping around and gently taking a seat. “It’s not silly if it’s bothering you.”
Sun nods, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “He’s right.”
You meet both of their gazes in turn with a small smile before casting your eyes back down to the table. “It’s not a big deal, though. It just… on top of already feeling very feminine, it sat with me wrong when you called me ‘Queen’ earlier. That’s… that’s literally all!” You punctuate your confession with laughter, trying your best to make light of the issue.
Moon’s eyes brighten. “Oh! Oh… oh goodness you’re right! I didn’t even—I didn’t even think…”
You raise a hand out toward him, quick to stop his unnecessary apologies. “It’s not your fault! I promise. You had no clue I was feeling… this way today, and I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I’m not upset with you, I’m… honestly way more upset with myself that I’m so bothered about it in the first place.”
Sun throws his opinion into the ring. “I don’t think either of you are at fault. Moon didn’t know you were feeling this way, and you can’t really control when you feel this way.”
Moon nods and you follow suit. “Yeah, I was hesitant to say anything because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I already feel like I’m… hah—‘overly-sensitive’ right now anyways.”
Sun’s expression quickly shifts to disapproval. “Oh, that stereotype can get fucked. You feel how you feel and that’s that. It’s just as real right now as it would be at any other point in your cycle.”
Your eyes widen at Sun’s insistent tone and Moon chuckles a bit at the sight. “I agree, star. And… I don’t think that you’re making a ‘big deal’ about it at all. Honestly, I think the best way to not make it a big deal is to not be afraid to tell us if we use a term for you that makes you uncomfortable. I’d much rather you tell me than just try to ignore the feeling.” He reaches out to place a hand over yours. “We know that your identity isn’t set in stone. If there’s ever something you want to be called, or something you don’t want to be called, the best thing you can do is just let us know, okay?”
Unable to fight the affectionate smile that pulls at your cheeks, you flip your hand over to grab his properly, and squeeze. “Okay. Yeah, that… I can do that. Thank you for understanding.”
His faceplate contentedly clicks a few degrees to the right, his smile soft. “Thank you for telling us.”
Feeling flustered and just a bit overwhelmed by how surprisingly smooth that went, you give his hand one more squeeze before pulling back to wrap it around your mug instead. You clear your throat as you do so, looking for something less intense to say. “I uh, I guess for now I’d just like to stick to gender-neutral stuff, okay?”
Moon nods eagerly. “Of course! Easy-peasy. I can even remedy what I said earlier if you’d like!” He’s muttering to himself before you can even tell him that that’s not really necessary. “Oh—uhm… hmmm…. what’s a good neutral alternative to ‘Queen’…”
Sun instantly starts listing suggestions. “Monarch. Ruler. Sovereign.” His rays spin a quick round, a tell that he’s taking his internal database search online for more information. “‘Caln’ is apparently a monarch word based on the Q slash K sound of Queen and King, if that sounds better to your ear.”
He suddenly barks a laugh and your brows raise in interest. “What?”
He shakes his head dismissively, still chuckling. “Nothing, just… Quora results. The questions some people pose are truly something.”
Moon’s interest is piqued. “What’d you find that was funny enough to make you laugh?”
Sun’s voice shifts to his ‘default human’ impression. “If Queen Elizabeth announced she was gender fluid, dot-dot-dot…”
You stifle a laugh. “That’s certainly one way to pose the question.”
“What's the rest say?” Moon asks.
Sun waves his hand in dismissal. “I don’t know. The preview was humorous, but I wasn’t compelled to follow the link to the full thing. Quora gives me a headache. I’ve moved on.”
Moon playfully pouts as Sun expands his list of suggestions. “Excellency. Majesty. Highness. Grace. Eminence. …Quing?… Oh, apparently ‘Caln’ is queer. Wait, do they mean queer created or queer exclusive…”
You interject before he spends the next hour falling down a rabbit hole of royal terms. “You could go the meme-y route and call me Liege.”
Moon’s attention shifts back toward you. “Is that one gender neutral?”
“I… think so?” You shrug. “Sounds neutral enough to me. Though I honestly wouldn’t mind a bit of masculinity to counterbalance the way I’m… feeling right now.”
He nods sagely as Sun’s list of suggestions continues to grow, getting more and more obscure as he delves further and further into his search.
You can’t help but laugh a bit as you dig a spoon into your oats, beginning to breathe easier with the reminder that you’re in very considerate company.
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A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I’ll be back in a few days with part 4! You can also find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x
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livinginadumpster · 6 months ago
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me: time to go to sleep! roll the tape!
my brain: *starts playing edwin's confession scene word for word*
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quinklequonkle · 1 month ago
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Bad news guys, the downs aren't going back up
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itsmistyeyedbi · 2 months ago
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There's so much I want to write and so much I want to read, but I can't fully engage with much of anything right now and it's killing me😭
#so many fic ideas! i thought about a zuri x farah one with zuri doing her hair#and them talking about their experiences regarding their hair and how its perceived#i wrote my general thoughts down on it and it would be !!!#so interesting!!#(especially since things concerning race aren't really... there in game ig - and idk if i want it to be for a variety of reasons)#(but exploring it with them could be !!!!!!!)#i thought of a mini series of zuri and adam going on drives together as their relationship progresses#i also wanna write something with zuri and bobby after the events of book 3#with bobby seeking her out with more genuine intentions than he does in book 2 and contrasting the two#i wanna write a few scene rewrites just for just#and there are so many fics i wanna read! i've missed so many of them and they all seem so interesting and fun#but i am suffering💀#i'm in a different country for an extended period of time (for me at least) when i really didn't want to be#(travelling in general isn't really for me - not when my parents 'plan' it)#i'm struggling to sleep because it's not my bed and i am constantly aware that its not my bed#all my energy is going into being as okay as i can be while counting the days until i can go home#(and i know as soon as i'm on the plane i'm gonna feel like this wasn't so bad so i dislike that it still mostly feels like it is)#and i forgot to take the pill for days now so my period just started for the second time this month💀💀#make it stop PLEASE#this ended up being a more personal rant but like UAUSGSH#i just need it to be over#chichi.txt
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arovalentines · 5 months ago
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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)
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#bonk.png#undescribed#exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled#bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro#n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad#also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends#speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that#its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls#n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while#friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing#which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from#fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean#the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics#like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back#n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow#theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters#there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments#the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit#second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined#n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out#n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T#probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now 👍
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gaydogmarriage · 1 year ago
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i think it would be so funny if before ganyu and keqing reached some kind of understanding, in the pre rex lapis retirement era, ganyu had just a bit of a "i could fix her" attitude towards keqing. not a whole lot, just an occasional moment of insanity. like she can see this woman who is in her eyes arrogant, self assured, overconfident, and blatantly ignorant, someone who doesn't appreciate what their god has done for liyue. but at the same time she clearly cares about the nation and works hard to maintain and improve it. her heart is in the right place and that has got to be more frustrating than if she was irredeemable. more complicated. and ganyu seems to be the type of person who wants to see the good in the world and in people
like she'd have moments of thinking maybe she's ok. maybe she just needs to grow a little as a person and she'll come to her senses. but then keqing gives a banger passionate speech abt her beliefs n ganyu's like nope what was i thinking that's a lost cause right there. and the cycle continues. keqing in her lane flourishing while ganyu is having a Time with this funny politician living in her head rent free
ironically in the end ganyu ends up growing a lot herself as they reconcile their differences and become closer. tho keqing's had her own growing to do. without anyone needing to fix her lol. learned her own lessons. something something the kind of person liyue needs right now also being the kind of person ganyu needs
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