#Which seems to be what a good handful of people do really

[bunchacrunchcake]

There's a book about the corporate end of this called the subprime ad crisis.

Basically social media ads are a global billion dollar industry like 50-500b per year I can't remember.

You use something for free. Ads are sold to small businesses. Profit.

It's the underpants gnomes. No one can understand exactly what the ads are doing, who they're being shown to, how to improve the ads, if the users are real. Some companies can really do well in this ecosystem, but they're usually spending $3k-100k-1m per month on ads and do well because they have a good product, a good ad team, and tons of volume.

The point of the book is that Facebook got sued for Cambridge analytica scandal and used that to hide a lot of user data from the public to preserve privacy, which they absolutely don't care about. However now they can't be audited. As in when you spend money with them you can't tell if they are juicing the stats they send you, showing it in weird places that get fake or accidental engagement, etc.

For example, the most often I accidentally like something is when I'm trying to skip an ad. Skipping seems to work well unless I'm on an ad and then oops you accidentally liked it! That specific interaction makes ALL the data from that campaign garbage. Not exaggerating.

So they're making money hand over fist on showing you ads, but they're also skinning the advertisers alive too. Facebook arbitrarily boosts ad campaigns that spend more. They do say it's because of the algorithm being trained better on your content, but how do you verify that?

Point being, they have NO idea how to make products that sell. Their entire business model is mass surveillance, garbage analytics, and access to the users.

When people stop valuing that from either side the whole business model goes under.

For you ad blockers solve a problem (free access to communication). To them you're literally hamstringing their entire business model.

And before you try to explain why we should allow corporations to abuse us and how it somehow all actually makes sense, ask yourself, why do we have free cable access channels and absolutely nothing else.

No free book publishing. No free social media. No free telephone. No free texting. No free email. No free video uploads?

Why?

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

[melminli]

Love To Dream

summary - there was this one girl that thanos really wanted, though, she didn't really want to have anything to do with him. unfortunately, that made him want her even more.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 1.5k

contains: modern au, mention of drugs, enemies to lovers vibes ig, crack, yearning

a/n: i don't even know what this is tbh but I felt like we all deserved some laughs ;)

Life was good - life was really fucking good, Thanos thought to himself as he winked charmingly at a group of hot girls. They had been looking in his direction for a while now while giggling, clearly interested in him. He continued to watch them as he sipped his drink, the club music pumping through his veins like adrenaline. Thanos's eyes darkened as the girls continued to cast lustful glances in his direction - he knew he could easily get more than one of them into bed tonight and why wouldn't he? It hadn't been long since his last performance on stage, reminding everyone present once again of his legendary status in this club.

However, his attention was focused somewhere entirely else after the most breathtaking person ever decided to walk past him. The pick-up lines he had been thinking of for the group, vanished from his mind after this angel showed up in front of him since the other girls could barely compare. The whole thing looked like something out of a scene from a Kdrama because time seemed to pass in slow motion and your hair was swinging in the air like that of a princess - which would have been the perfect time for some product placement because it just looked so damn soft.

Thanos had his mouth wide open in shock and put a hand over his heart to check if it was still beating while his eyes never left your figure. You - who was leaning prettily against the bar right next to him as you ordered something from the bartender.

“Hey.” he finally recovered from the moment and casually moved towards you. “I'd introduce myself, but I assume you already know me.” he talked to you with his flirty face as soon as you looked up at him.

You smiled shyly. “Yeah, I watched your performance,” you answered him and seemed quite grateful that he was speaking to you right now. “You were pretty good.” you giggled slightly as you complimented him.

“Yeah, that's just how I am.” he sighed as he looked around the room as if it was a burden for him to have to live with all the recognition. His eyes met yours again and he tried to impress you by unpacking a few bars while emphasizing them with the movements of his hands. “Girl, I know you and I are meant to be because after I looked at your pretty face everything stopped being. If only you saw what I can see, you'll understand why I want you so desperately.” he rapped to you, stealing the last line from some One Direction song, but you didn't need to know that.

You shyly put your hands in front of your face to hide your smile. “Oh my god, that was so incredibly sexy, I'm so horny for you right now.” the words came out of your mouth and made Thanos screw up his face weirdly for a second.

Because first of all, those vulgar words didn't match your innocent demeanor in the slightest - and secondly, you said exactly what Thanos had imagined you would say - it was actually a bit creepy since you literally said it word for word. Thanos hardly thought that he could foresee the future all of a sudden or that you could maybe read minds, though he decided to ignore the whole thing as soon as you started touching his chest softly with your hands. He wanted you so bad.

“You don't even know what you're doing to me right now,” he whispered to you while you felt him so sensually and he was about to kiss you, hadn't you stopped his lips with your hand as you laughed into his face. “I think you should wake up now. Otherwise, the pink elephant will keep handing out balloons to people.” You told him, pointing behind him to where the bar was supposed to be.

“Hah?” he asked you confused and turned around while continuing to hold you in his arms, but all he saw were a few dogs breakdancing - and that was nothing out of the ordinary. He continued to look at the scene with a grin, even though some inner voice inside him was stressing out about kissing you immediately as if he was running out of time. He finally turned back to you and was about to continue when he suddenly heard a man speak. “You really should wake up man.” Nam-gyu's voice told him and Thanos only caught himself almost kissing him after he took a closer look. He just pushed him away from him in disgust and then -

Thanos woke up from his sleep, bathed in sweat, when he saw your face in his field of vision. “Finally, you're sleeping like a dead man. There's some guy at the door who wants to talk to you,” you told him as he sat up tiredly while slowly recovering from his strange dream.

That's right. You weren't just some hot girl he met at the club, you were his fucking roommate. Thanos discreetly pushed more blanket over his lap as he tried to shoo you away from his room with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, yeah - I'll be right there, just - give me a moment,” he said without looking you in the face.

You just sighed slightly and complied with his request, though not without letting him know how unhappy you were. “I told you to stop giving our address to these dealers. I don't like it when they show up here,” you grumbled under your breath before dashing out and closing the door behind you.

After that, Thanos let out a very heavy sigh and stroked his face aggressively. “Now she's showing up in my dreams, too? Fucking great.” he grumbled to himself and got up from the bed to put on some decent clothes. His eyes met his own reflection as he pulled a shirt over his head. “Get a grip man, what's wrong with you?” he asked himself as he grimaced in annoyance. “You're Thanos the destroyer, not some kind of -”

“Stop taking so long and come here already!” your voice suddenly shouted, coming through his door slightly muffled.

He looked even more annoyed at that and made his way to the living room while shouting back at you. “I'm fucking on it, alright!” and it only took a few loud steps from him to your front door for him to yank it open to fix the damn problem. He looked at his friend, completely bothered by his presence. “What do you want?” he asked him and was kinda glad that it at least wasn't Nam-gyu because he just really didn't want to see his face at the moment and probably for a little while.

“Hello, to you, too.” the man in front of him greeted him, already used to his weird mood swings. “I just wanted to do you a favor by bringing you some of the pills you wanted because last time you almost beat me up when I didn't have them with me,” he explained, holding the bag, which Thanos grabbed instantly before inspecting it more closely. “Don't act like you didn't deserve it, I paid you the money in advance, man. Of course, I was angry,” he complained again and would probably have beaten him up for real right now if he had ruined his morning over something completely unnecessary. However, he would still have to make sure that something like this didn't happen again so that you didn't have another reason to kick him out of the apartment.

“You know, maybe this was meant to be. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been greeted by an absolute hottie today,” he said happily as he stood there, still interested. “Is she your cousin or something? Do you want to introduce me to her?” he asked and was quite confident in the way he acted, but Thanos just looked at him emotionlessly for a few seconds until he slammed the door in his face.

"Okay, he's gone now!" he exclaimed, bored, and made his way into the kitchen, where you were sitting with a cup of coffee or something while scrolling on your phone. "Don't open the door for that guy if he shows up again," he said, grabbing a cold Sprite from the fridge. You just looked at him with a displeased look. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll make sure that he and no one else shows up after today. But, I'm just saying that in case it still somehow happens."

Thanos then opened the can and drank from it while he continued to watch your face from the side. Eventually, he sat down next to you, although, to his dissatisfaction, that didn't seem to get your attention. "Hey, you want to go on a date?" He asked, and you weren't sure how many times he asked you that by now. You kept scrolling on Instagram. "You know my answer to that."

Thanos continued to grin hopefully. "Yes?" he asked and then watched you disappear out of the kitchen with your cup of coffee in your hand - probably to your room. "You should be glad that I'm even asking you! Other girls would die for..." he muffled towards the end before he stopped talking entirely once he realized that you weren't giving him a reaction.

Maybe, I should just go back to sleep, he thought to himself dejectedly, unable to believe that he had actually better chances with you in dreams with pink elephants and breakdancing dogs.

[lilacstro]

"I'll imagine we fell in love, i'll nap under moonlight skies with you"🌙 pac: what does your forever person look like<3

hey y'all, I hope you're fine. It's been a while since I posted a pac, so here we are. I love love love this song, its so beautiful. I hope you play this song after this if you don't know this one, I am sure you'd not be disappointed ;)

support me on ko-fi

Paid readings open

★Pile 1★

mini energy check: ok pile 1, it seems like you may be introverted, or maybe just isolated currently. that was one thing that was coming through. You may have been waiting for this person for forever or quite sometime now is one more thing coming through. It may feel delayed, setbacks or something may always come in between.

Physical appearance: This person may be asian, especially east asian?? or they may have monolids. For others, they may also have tattoos, a very lively yet intimidating face? Something about them may want you to reach out to them but also scare or intimidate you at the same time. This person has something very bright, very noticeable, almost as if you can recognize them in a big crowd. They may have a young, innocent face, bedroom eyes and an athletic body, if not necessarily muscular. Gives me boy next door vibes speaking of which there is maybe a band called boynextdoor and they are japanese? if I'm right? because Japan was coming a lot in this reading, maybe they have really good fashion sense.

Their personality, vibe and energy: They are likely to be ambiverts, someone who has bursts of energy. If we talk about MBTI, they may be the turbulent types. Idk why but Leo Mercury coming through as well. This person would be all over the place, I am hearing, "everything, everywhere, all at once" and then get tired. They have a child like spirit and curiosity to them. They may also have trouble concentrating for long hours, and may get disappointed if they are not able to do 173920 tasks that they wanted to. They are a leader, and like to lead people, take responsibilities and learn and do many new things, but at the end of the day, behind all this energy and hype, there is a silent, introspective soul. Extremely aware, to a point where they may even get into an almost meditative state, feeling their pulse. I am hearing, "going numb", so this person may often feel incomplete, or unhappy inside despite having all.

your relationship with them: your relationship with them may take some time to bloom, but be assured, it would prosper long term. This may likely be because of how aware and introspective this person is, but once they decide that you are the one, they become "the man", the person you want and need. Extremely emotionally available. They are not the types who would play mind games with you. This person will show you the real intimacy. I am hearing "talking hands", this person either may love tarot? or other forms of divination? but mostly they would stand on their words and prove them with actions. There would be beautiful merge of feelings, and intellect and communication. Words of affirmations, you'd never feel lonely or unloved with this person. Just how a flower blooms slowly, you would open up to this person and this relationship would progress in its time, there is no force other than the one of nature.

★Pile 2★

mini energy check: some of you guys here could be breaking out a lot? or maybe feel itchy? There can also be some kind of discomfort in the body, as in feeling restless or just uneasy? You may feel extra cautious towards your skin, food and body these days. Korean skincare coming through??

Physical appearance: This person looks mature, and reserved and would not like attention to themselves. A sharp jawline. Scorpio and Capricorn may be significant in their chart or they may have such intense features. They may like wearing black a lot, especially flowy clothing. A tall, intimidating stature, idk why but I am hearing this person looks like an anime? yandre? I am so sorry I am not aware about anime or anything, but all I can say is this person looks mystifying and intense.

Their personality, vibe and energy: This person may be rather reserved and may not present their cards on the table for everyone to see. They may like to have different ways and personalities to deal with different kinds of people. This person is not a leader tbh, more like an owner, a boss, an authority figure. I am hearing "I own it". This person may even have nervous energy inside them but you would never guess. Some people may find them shallow, but they just do not reveal themselves to anyone just like that. Its hard to know them. This person is a visionary, a creative and full of ideas though. There can be an irritable, erratic, and elusive nature them sometimes, especially when it comes to their work, they are serious. They may have built their way to the top to what they have. Extreme hardworkers. They cannot be bossed around tbh. They may enjoy nature a lot.

your relationship with them: Your relationship to them is a breath of fresh air. This relationship would heal you, unwind you to your core, and help you let go of any past traumas you've had. This person gives me total "book bf" vibes, because they would love you like no other. I am hearing "kiss me on the mouth, and love me like a sailor". This person is a total softie for you tbh. This relationship would be incredibly healing, and your love would be more than valued and reciprocated. For some of you, this person would have to manage stuff between their job/studies and you, and be assured they would. You guys may see each other in dreams a lot, a lot of closeness and intimacy. You both would complete each other tbh. This relationship may very well be a past life, incomplete love story kind of romance. Your world would feel like full of warmth and sunshine after you meet this person. You guys may also enjoy doing art, or exploring art and music together. You both would bind each other down for good. idk why am i hearing "whispers in your ear" lmao. I am also hearing "mother at first sight"? Maybe the envision a family with you or you may remind them of a mother figure, or you may fill that space in them through your love. This person sees you as divine, almost like a goddess.

★Pile 3★

mini energy check: you guys maybe the eldest in your house? or may be really bossy, unwilling to listen to someone or work under someone as such. A lot of independent, masculine energy. Tbh you guys may be the one who know this song at the very least if not like it a lot. Its giving me the vibe of "I am a strong independent women who need no one but a cute guy would be nice idk" lmao. You guys may have recently completed something and some of you may also have started to embrace themselves, take your mask off, do self help stuff, and impose healthy boundaries recently. Some of you here really need to give your ears a rest if you use headphones lmao

Physical appearance: Some of you here may have already met this person, whether it be that they are friendzoned or you are dating them, there is no ex energy here and if this isn't your case then ofc you haven't met them yet. You guys may also have been attracted to pile 1, and 2 as well? or may have hard time choosing. This person looks really young, like really young. For some of you this person may also look androgynous, but really beautiful and charming. They may also have an innocent look onto them or something. A very "pure" looking person. A glowing face, charming presence. I am seeing bruno mars for some reason? This person also may not be super tall or something but rather a bit short if not "too" short or something. A very beautiful face, both the genders may find them appealing tbh. Very well could have Moon or Venus or both in 1st house. May have long, untamed hair as well. Some of them may also have that "jazz bar" look. Good body proportions but may usually stand with crossed hands or some protective look.

Their personality, vibe and energy: This person does not like drama and conflict. I was already getting a Libra vibe from them in the physical appearance check. They are also brave, very consistent and someone who would never give up, even on you (aw). They are the perfect mix of a mom and dad energy, they would fight and protect, everyone, including their friends and family. This person may also be super stubborn and defensive sometimes, especially when its about someone or something their emotions are tied to. A big homebody kind of person. This person would not hide a lot from anyone and would most likely be up for a conversation most of the times, extroverted energy coming through. They may even study philosophy, I almost said "philanthropy"? So they may even have some kind of connection to that? Could be because this person is extremely giving, to a point where there is no energy or time left for them. They are the friend people call at 3 am lmao.

your relationship with them: This person first of all may like grand gestures of love, serenading you for example or telling you how much they love you, whatever it is. This person may have STRONG scorpio kind of energy with you. Almost like they would merge you, two souls in one, and not let anyone lay their eyes on you, to an obsessive level. May get jealous easily. You guys would be very coherent and very emotional, both of it, in extremes. This would transform you honestly, this person and relationship, both. Your ancestors may lead you to this person. There is an energy of "I ain't letting you go" and "you got me fixed on you" lmao. This person would be your guide and love through the toughest times of life, maybe that's why this would be transformative, but even if not that, this person would show you direction in life, maybe that's why ancestral thing was coming through. This person would heal and accept your shadows and flaws, nothing to hide from them :)

[ogsherlockholmes]

When we have this context, it makes any non-queer reading of the books very difficult, as it almost seems like ACD is leaving space for the readers to figure out the true underlying narrative.

First of all, as is well established in this fandom, Watson is an unreliable narrator. Not only is that known through shaky details in the stories which can't be explained- for example, his wound which magically changes places- but Watson explicitly states on multiple occasions that he has changed aspects of the cases (names, dates, etc).

Then there's the wife, which I'm purposely addressing as 'the wife' because Mary Morstan was introduced as an orphan (an integral detail to TSoF), so how can she visit her family in later stories? Watson doesn't go out of his way to explain his marriage -or divorce, if that's applicable (it's not)- and seems to forget the wife entirely. Ultimately, the wife becomes a phenomenon... a plot device. (She's not real, basically)

So, ACD is aware that he couldn't write a homosexual relationship into his stories due to the potential consequences of that (as evidenced above) but he's not denying it. Well, if he is, he's not doing a very good job. Watson is known and caught red-handed of hiding or changing details- his true relationship with Holmes is one of them. And ACD wants the correct people to know this- homophobic readers can think of multiple explanations for the bachelors on Baker Street and their true nature (cough cough Rex Stout), but queer readers will recognise the implicit suggestiveness of, for example, The Three Garridebs.

And we can't know for certain, because ACD never had the opportunity to tell us what he really imagined went on in 221B behind closed doors, but perhaps he thought -and hoped- that one day, the true story may be told.

i’ve always found it interesting that acd wrote a study in scarlet about the start of this great relationship between holmes and watson, and then followed it up with a story in which watson finds a wife. 

it’s almost as if people immediately picked up on the queerness of their relationship and acd had to protect himself and his characters by introducing plausible deniability.

[genderkoolaid]

in what way, if any, do you think that indulging kinks is different than making jokes as far as emplanting/reinforcing ideas in the mind? do you think that being a sexual sadist makes you more permissive of nonconsensual violence?genuine question, feel free to ignore or answer privately if this is too thorny.

OKAY I have tried to write this 4 times now here we go!!!! This time it will NOT get deleted!!!!!!!!

This is a really good + important question so I am glad you asked! To me, it comes down to context and critical self-reflection.

Kink, done properly, occurs in a very specific and frank context. You discuss what a scene will look like beforehand, and then you discuss what happened and each person's experiences afterward. Proper kink requires blatant discussions of what is wanted and what is to be avoided, and the consent of all parties is what helps create this context.

Humor, on the other hand, tends to live in a hazy grey area between truth and lies. We like to think that because jokes are jokes, this means they are completely detached from our world. But humor has a social function. It helps bring people together, as well as delineate divisions. And it also helps us dip a toe into a certain feeling without having to discuss the feeling itself.

To give an example, let's talk about bees and wasps.

Say there is a person named A. A generally thinks of themself as liking animals and the natural world. They are against climate change and pro-biodiversity, although they don't really know a ton about these topics. They see people making jokes about wasps vs. bees: bees are sweet pollinators just trying to enjoy the summer, while wasps are angry assholes who will fuck your wife. A finds these jokes funny, especially having learned about how important bees are but having always been afraid of wasps. A also begins making jokes about how wasps have no purpose, they just exist to ruin your day, and should be killed. A finds themself joking about how we should really just kill off all wasps, since they are evil and worthless creatures. When A sees a wasp, they feel nothing but fear and the desire to kill it painfully. If they hear about something is causing mass death amongst wasps, they think its probably a net positive for everyone.

A was clearly biased against wasps from the beginning, which isn't really their fault; wasps can be scary and hurtful! The jokes seem to reaffirm their feelings as natural, socially valid, and even funny. But as I'm sure many of my followers know, wasps ARE pollinators and are quite important to the environment, as well as having the inherent worth that all creatures do. It's rather contradictory for A to both say they value biodiversity, while also devaluing an entire group of creatures and being okay with, or even advocating for, their extinction.

It is fully possible for A to dislike wasps, AND value biodiversity. The problem is that A does not really know how to apply their values to the world and their actions. They generally have beliefs, but those beliefs do not form a bedrock they can reference. Their values and their actions are not in conversation.

To take it back to what you were discussing: properly done kink always involves conversation between values and actions. The values are consent, risk-aware safety, and mutual pleasure/satisfaction/positive experiences. Knowing these values and what they mean, the people involved can talk about what they want to do and how those actions will relate to those values. When a sadist is hitting someone in a scene, they know that this is happening because they have created a context in which that action aligns with their values. And if someone does find that they are being shaped negatively by kink experiences, they can recognize that and choose to stop.

I believe there is a problem with people not truly knowing what they believe or value, and/or not truly knowing how their beliefs/values interact with the world and their actions. And when you combine that with the ambiguity of jokes, the way we are encouraged to see jokes as something separated from the "real world," and the way they can encourage people to follow their gut feelings and reaffirm them as socially valid and true, you get. well. bad times! radicalization! Oops All Assholes!

I just made a post that was kind of an example of this. I watched Megan Thee Stallion's documentary and joked about how she should be allowed to kill indiscriminately. When I think about making those kinds of jokes, I am keeping in mind:

Killing individuals doesn't solve systemic issues

I value transformative justice over punitive justice

I generally avoid making these- humourously communicating my anger at injustice into calls for violence- because I am conscious that jokes aren't "just jokes." This doesn't mean I NEVER do it. It's not, like, radioactive. Making a joke won't corrupt me a la the One Ring. But I make a choice to steer myself away from that kind of humor. Because I don't want to create that kind of thought pattern; because I am being conscious of the distinction between feeling and value, of catharsis and justice; because I don't want to connect with others on the basis of a belief I don't actually hold and am just putting on to express frustration; and because, in the case of other jokes, regardless of their impact on ME, they can still hurt other people. Even if you feel like you can make small dick jokes and still genuinely believe body-shaming is bad… if your jokes still have the impact of body-shaming people, then your values aren't really having an impact on your actions, at which point they are meaningless.

[honeyedfate]

operation: no hate, just date | 심재윤

pairing. jake sim x idol!gf!reader

the objective is clear—make both of your fans believe that you and jake, in fact, don’t hate each other by convincing them that you’re actually in love. which you are. sadly, jake doesn’t get to shout it from the rooftops like he desperately wants to. instead he’s trapped in an elaborate plan that’s moving at a snail’s pace, but one night on weverse with the boys might speed things up.

genre. fluff & very very mildly suggestive

a/n. this is the second part to loverboy! you can read it by itself if u want but it might be more fun if u don’t lol enjoy! x

it’s been a week since jake and you were pulled aside and shoved into a meeting room where an unforeseen entourage informed him that he sucks at being your boyfriend but makes for a great arch nemesis. he had left that intervention feeling annoyed and his privacy violated, but at least they had a plan. whether that plan is a good one is still up for debate.

grey sweater guy from pr keeps responding to yuki’s plentiful emails with stupid roundabouts of how patience is a virtue and playing the long game always benefits the player. the problem is jake has no patience, and the only person who seems to get it is you.

which is likely why even after the fourth facetime call of the day, his darling-angel of a girlfriend has yet to tell him to piss off. he keeps peeking at his phone, which he has propped up against his pillow, only to begrudgingly return to his scattered lego set, positive he’ll crash out if he doesn’t hear your voice soon.

when the call finally connects and you appear on the screen, it’s like watching the sun rise. jake can feel the tension leaving his body and a lopsided smile curving over his lips. he’s hopeless, really.

you grin through the phone, hands in your hair as you tie it back, and say by way of greeting, “yunjin showed me a tiktok earlier.”

abandoning whatever he was building, jake scoots closer to his phone. “what was it about?”

“us, of course,” you say cheerily, and jake swears his heart skips a beat. not because he’s anxious of what you’re about to say but because it happens every time you refer to him and you as an item. an entity. it’s embarrassing but he kind of likes it. he likes being an idiot for you.

“someone put together a bunch of clips of everything we’ve been doing this week and it blew up on twitter.” you gently rub your oil cleanser over your face.

jake perks up at your words. he didn’t think anyone would’ve noticed any of the stuff he was told to do as part of the stupid plan. an unsettling concoction of excitement and terror swirls in his stomach. “what did they say?” he asks, fiddling with a lego piece.

you take a moment to wipe off your eye makeup, scrunching your nose when jake calls you a panda. “apparently people have been noticing how close we stood on the encore stage and that we kept looking at each other. it’s funny—i didn’t realise in that moment, but when i watched it back it looked like you’re either creeping up on me or you’re extremely terrified.”

jake tilts his head. “terrified of what? you?” he furrows his brows. “i just looked at you a couple of times like they told us to.”

“i know you did.” you turn off the faucet and grab a towel to dry off your face, trying to keep the amusement in your voice at bay. “but, babe, you’re either staring me down—unblinking—or you’re casting glances at me like you’re scared i’ll turn around and jump you.” you can’t help but giggle. “someone commented, ‘i can’t tell if jake is contemplating if he should push y/n off the stage or if he should throw himself off it.’”

jake gawks at you with his mouth agape. “that’s what they’re saying?”

you nod. he falls backward with a groan and covers his faces with his arms. “i can’t believe it. that’s what it looked like to them? really?”

“i know.” you say, more amused than empathetic.

“that’s crazy,” he says, pushing himself upright again, hair sticking out even messier than it had before. “i’m actively trying to act like a lovesick fool—which i am! don’t even—and people still think i’m trying to break your neck? that’s insane.”

you hum supportively. “at least some people believe you were offering to break your own neck for me. that’s romantic, right? we might be on the right track here.” you keep your tone playful, but jake looks at you with his starry eyes and pouty lips, resembling nothing short of a kicked puppy.

“i’m sorry i keep messing this up,” he says and the thinness in his voice makes your heart break.

“jake, you’re not messing anything up.” he looks at his hands, avoiding your gaze. “you can’t control these things, people will interpret and perceive it however they like. it’s always been this way, and it’s always been out of our control. doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

“i don’t know, y/n,” he says quietly, and the sight of him hanging his head has you nearly sneaking out of the dorms and going over to his. you’ve never seen him look this miserably at a lego set before. “if i wasn’t so awkward and knew what to do, we wouldn’t even be in this mess.”

“no one’s perfect and all-knowing.” you pick up your phone with a frown. “and why do you keep calling it a mess? is that what you think this is?” you enter your room and get into your bed. jake looks up at the sounds of your blanket and wishes desperately he was there with you.

instead, he loosens a breath and sweeps the lego pieces onto the manual, placing it on the floor and going under the blanket as well. “what else should i call it?” he says. “it’s not a blessing.”

you ponder his words. “a mess would be our sex tape getting leaked or people making up rumours that we’re drug dealers or cannibals.”

jake cocks his head. “like hannibal?”

“i meant more like in ‘bones and all’ but sure.”

“oh.” he scratches his face. “well, we’re neither of those things. we also don’t have a sex tape.” the corner of his mouth quirks up.

“no, we don’t.” you pout, forcing a mock sigh. “but we could always make one? ‘operation: no hate, no date,’ am i right?” you waggle your eyebrows at him, prompting a wry smile to flicker across his face.

“they’ll watch it and come to the conclusion that i hate you even more.”

you huff a laugh. “we will probably also get kicked out of hybe and have to start slinging fishcakes on the street. which sounds like fun, to be honest. oh! we could make our own jingle and sing it for our customers. maybe we won’t even have to make the fishcakes if we’re successful enough.”

this earns you a laugh. “that’s just busking, baby. what you want to do is busk.”

you gasp in fake surprise before settling for a rueful sigh. “i am but an artist.”

jake presses his lips together as if to say ‘good riddance, what tragic calling’ with a saddened face before the two of you dissolve into giggles.

“okay, i get it.” he turns to lie on his side, face squished against his pillow. “going from idol to man with leaked sex tape who sings on the street and runs an unsuccessful fishcake stand would be a mess. but this is not?”

“correct.”

“i’m so relieved then.” he grins toothily at you and, of course, you reciprocate it. an involuntarily yawn slips through your lips and jake coos at you.

“is my girl tired after working hard all day?”

“she’s exhausted,” you affirm with bleary eyes. “you seem chipper for someone who’s usually drooling on his pillow by midnight.”

jake shrugs. “i’m not sleepy yet.”

you hold back another yawn. “do you want me to stay awake until you are?”

he smiles at you fondly, relishing in the softness of your drowsy voice. “it’s all right. you should go to sleep, baby.” he glances at the clock on his phone. “i think i’ll go live for a bit. haven’t done one in a while.”

“aren’t we feeling chatty tonight,” you tease, eyes fully closed now. jake swears he actually dies at how cute you look and smashes that screenshot button repeatedly. “i’ll leave you to it then. greet engenes for me.”

he grimaces. “if i do that, you’ll get your jingle and fishcake dreams fulfilled by tomorrow morning because we’ll both be unemployed.”

“sounds lovely.” you rub your eyes.

“yeah,” jake merely whispers, attention span momentarily off the rails as his doting gaze traces your face. he takes another screenshot for good measure. “good night, pretty girl,” he says tenderly, raspy voice and all. “see you tomorrow for the dance challenge and the fishcakes.”

a giggle bubbles out of you, and you crack your eyes open to offer your best, dozy smile. “and the busking. don’t forget the busking.”

“i would never. i’ll even steal one of jay’s guitars.”

you nod, pleased. “we’ll be on the run like bonnie and clyde. except for all the atrocities, of course.”

jake helplessly swoons. “i love you.”

“i love you too. good night, baby.”

the intensity at which his pulse quickens and his stomach tumbles needs to be studied because it should not be humanly possible to be so goddamn whipped. he’s not ashamed to admit that he could write lines upon lines of poetry right now just to ode your every quality and marvel at the curve of your mouth.

again, hopeless. but he’s more than okay with it.

so what if he flips onto his stomach right after the call ends, smiling blissfully into his pillow and kicking his feet? he might not be a lover boy, but he is in love.

with that same crooked smile that is probably etched onto his face forever, he opens the weverse app on his phone and opts for a voice live. as the first few people pool in, he gets lost in mindless chatter. it’s always nice to do lives at night. mainly because they make him drowsy.

at some point, he gets up for the bottle on his desk, hoping that chugging some water will wake him up. but when he returns to his bed and glances at his phone, comments keep flooding in at a speed that make them very hard to read.

“what’s this?” he chuckles nervously. “what happened? i just went to get some water.”

enhaswife: jungwon is live!! go live with him plss

sim hitomi: jungwonnie is live~~

xo, liz: CAN U GO LIVE WITH JUNGWON ‼️

“jungwonnie is live?” jake raises a brow. “that’s actually pretty early for him. it’s not even one yet.” he settles back into his bed. “i was here first though, so you guys have to tell him to come. tell him to come send a request.”

he watches the number of viewers decline rapidly, all of them seemingly leaving to do his bidding. he wields too much power and it might actually go to his head, he thinks to himself in amusement. “i told him,” he reads out loud. “i told him, he’s coming, i told him. you guys are so cute.”

not long after, the request pops up and jake is quick to accept it. his screen splits in two before jungwon’s eager face appears before him.

“yooiii,” jake greets him with a wide smile.

“yoooiiii,” jungwon practically shouts into his phone with excitement that is more appropriate for daylight hours. “what’s this? why aren’t you showing your face, hyung? are you naked?”

“what?” jake guffaws, adjusting his phone. “no, my hair’s just all over the place. engenes don’t need to see me like this.”

“oh, okay.” jungwon nods understandably as his eyes flit over the computer screen before him. the song that’s currently playing in the background changes to a more calm melody, and jake sinks further into his blanket, nearly letting out a moan at how snug he feels. “he’s bald, by the way.”

jake jolts so hard he nearly tumbles out of his bed.

“jungwon!” he watches as the comments explode into chaos. “oh my god, what have you done.”

the younger boy ignores him. “ni-ki shaved his head after practice, you know. he got the clippers from hair and makeup and went right at it. they weren’t too happy about it, but it went well. thankfully, i am so happy to announce that our hyung does not have an egghead.”

jake burst out laughing, glimpsing how jungwon’s smile expands with delight when he hears it. “i nearly lost an ear, but yes. all’s good.”

“he gave his hair to jay,” jungwon continues for no apparent reason except to bring jay into this. “he put it in a nice ziplock bag and gave it to him. jay almost cried. he was really touched.”

jake is clutching his sides, trying to keep his laughter down. before he can speak, a highlighted message pops up in the comments.

JAY: Ya! Why are you ruining my image

JAY: When jake gave me his bag of hair I wept

JAY: I wept.

JAY: Get your facts straight punk

“hyung!” jungwon says delightfully. “you’re here too. what’s going on, why are we all awake? is this a party?”

“it’s just us three here,” jake remarks, still chuckling. “what party only has three guests?”

jungwon shrugs. “i’ve never been to one.”

JAY: Me neither

jake cups his neck, deciding to join them despite the fact that there are plenty of pictures of them at several afterparties. “me neither.”

JAY: Wow

“wooow,” jungwon echoes, lips tugging into a smirk. jake frowns. did he miss something? before he can address it, a comment stands out to him.

“yes, we are a sad bunch,” he says jokingly in response to it. “you’re breaking my heart, engenes. no need to rub it in.”

jungwon snickers. “these comments are so fun tonight. i usually only get song recommendations. seriously, what’s happening? where are all my engenes who ask me to play chamber 5 for the eighth time?”

JAY: It’s because I’m here

JAY: I bring the smart ones

JAY: Also can you play chamber 5

“it’s my live.” jake scoffs when he reads jay’s comments. “they were here before you two came, and we always have very stimulating discussions.”

that’s not true. earlier’s heated topic of conversation was whether a tiger or a tiger shark would win in a fight. but jungwon and jay don’t need to know that.

“oh, hey, we’re tripple j,” jake randomly observes while suppressing a yawn.

“we are!” jungwon says enthusiastically. “the moment jay came in, all the comments were saying tripple j. imagine if all of our names started with a j. septuple j!”

JAY: Junghoon

JAY: Jeeseung, junoo, ji-ki

JAY: Annyeonghasaeyo, jenhypen-imnida

jake snorts. he glances at the time and lets another yawn overtake him. “guys, i think i’ll go to sleep. i can barely hold my eyes open.”

“i was waiting for you to say that,” jungwon quips.

“oh?” jake pushes himself up to fluff his pillow. “why? do i sound tired?”

JAY: Ow hay weor wibble j

jake furrows his brows, nearly suffering a stroke trying to read that. “hah. you’re funny.”

JAY: yoar wonny

“ahjussi, please go to bed,” jake says fondly and pulls his blanket up to his ears, letting it almost swallow him. “you’re talking gibberish again.”

JAY: :(((

jungwon ignores them, typing away on his keyboard. “i think i’ll continue my live for a bit if engenes want to join me.”

“yes, keep him company, guys.” jake yawns once more and quickly skims the comments one last time. his mind has become delirious, not really making sense of any of the words on his screen. he’s no longer thinking straight. he’s not thinking, period. which might be why his focus zeroes in on your name as it passes by.

he scrolls back up, looking for it, and finds himself reading it out loud without a second thought.

“do you want me to fight y/n for you?”

he lets his arm fall over his eyes with a funny expression on his face that no one can see and that he’s not even aware of. a mental image of you occupies half of his mind while the other half has simply shut off.

chuckling, he replies, “nah, i can take her.”

it goes quiet in the room as jake’s breathing evens out and jungwon’s typing slows down.

“hyung,” he says with emphasis, a warning tone laced in his voice. jake blinks an eye open, way too tired to grasp the gravity of what he has done. jungwon, on the other hand, is close to breaking out in hives as the comments go ballistic.

jay is not of much help either. he has left the live to message the group chat, asking if they’re now in trouble and if they’re going to kidnap you and jake again. from what jungwon can gauge based on the rapid fire notifications he’s getting, jay’s coming in clutch with quotes and screenshots of the comments, and heeseung’s immediate reaction is to cackle away.

enhaswife2: wiat whaT DID HE JUST SAY

myseven: oh REALLY >:( y/n count ur days

sunoo’s gf: you sure about that? I can fight

xiiuu7: leave y/n to me, i can handle her for you

jake reads the comments through fluttering eyes, somehow finding it all very entertaining. “oh, i take her just fine, thanks.” he rolls onto his stomach, eyes closed, smiling like an idiot, and mutters into his pillow, “i’ve handled her in more ways you can—”

his door slams open.

not a second later, jungwon stands before him in his pyjamas and snatches his phone out of his hands, breathing heavily. it lands next to jake on his pillow with a thud. screen now black.

“hyung, have you gone mad?!” jungwon stares down at him in bewilderment, his own phone in his hand lightening up every microsecond. “are you actually insane? why would you say that into the microphone?”

jake blinks up at him. “what?”

another person joins them. “what’s going on?” sunoo’s socked feet pad over the floor as he pulls down his headphones, regarding the two of them carefully. “i heard doors slamming.”

wordlessly, jungwon passes him his unlocked phone. it’s opened to a twitter account transcribing and translating in real time what had just been said on their live, including jake’s slurred but still perfectly understandable words. in other words, stan twitter is going insane.

sunoo gasps, eyes widening with each tweet as he scrolls and scrolls and scrolls. he’s reading all kinds of things—engenes who are losing it and speaking of you, your group, and your fans as if there’ll be a sword fight at dawn.

your fans who are thoroughly disoriented and confused but ready to go for blood anyway because ‘what does he MEAN he can take her?? take her WHERE?????’

and people who don’t even listen to either group but are dying over the comedic timing of jake uttering those words, jungwon hurling himself out of his chair, his footsteps thumping in the hallway, the doors banging, and the live ending all under two minutes.

some people also seem to believe that jake is bald for some reason? sunoo shakes his head in disbelief. it’s like the internet has been bored for too long, and this has revived them.

an eternity must’ve passed now, and jungwon is still lecturing a very sleepy jake whose words and actions have finally caught up to him when sunoo suddenly yelps. he practically tosses the phone in the air, and both boys turn to their attention to him. with a gulp, sunoo flips the screen around and holds it at an arm’s length.

“yuki is calling.”

jungwon exchanges a look with jake before he grabs his phone. “hello?” he says, clearing his throat. sunoo leans in to try and listen. jake, on the other hand, stays frozen on his bed, not even daring to breathe.

a heavy sigh sounds on the other line. “jungwon?”

“…yes?”

“there’s a change of plans.”

[x--sinner--x]

I love the concept of coincidental rape. Like just imagine being neighbours, but we found each other on a dating app. We talk and flirt for days, and eventually we reach the point of exchanging selfies and other spicy pictures.

And then one day I noticed something. In one of the pics you sent me, I could see my own house in the reflection. You took one right by your window and that's how I realized it.

With this newfound information I had to act upon it. I eagerly knock on your door, and you don't disappoint as you answer the door quickly.

"Hey, we haven't really met but I am your neighbour," I introduce myself, "and this is my house behind me. Can I come in? I would like to get acquainted."

I didn't know such a bombshell was talking to me on a dating app while being my neighbour.

"Yeah, sure. Please come in." The funny part is, as I am walking into the hallway of your house, you are texting me on the dating app. "Sorry daddy, but I have a visitor. I'll talk to you later. 💋💋"

And my phone pings with the notification you just sent me. While I know the cause behind the ping, you have no idea as it's just a normal notification in your eyes.

"Thanks for letting me in. You have a gorgeous house." I pause for a moment to take in the view and proceed to talk again. "And here you go. I wanted to bring you a gift to introduce myself."

"Thank you for the compliment... and for the gift as well. What is it?" You ask curiously.

"It's a pretty rare vintage wine bottle. My dad had a wine cellar and was an avid wine collector. When I moved here, I brought some of his collections with me, and I thought you would enjoy it. Wanna drink with me?"

"Aw that's lovely. And yeah sure, we could have a drink." But little did you know, I had put in a little substance to knock you out in a matter of seconds.

We both make our way to your living room, where sofas are arranged around a small glass table with some glasses. You use a bottle opener and pour some for both of us. We take seats opposite each other and I take my glass of wine and bring it up to my mouth, but I don't drink it. I waited patiently until you took the first sip and it wasn't long before that happened.

"Do you live here alone? Seems pretty big for you." I ask you a simple question, just to break the ice until you fall unconscious.

"Well, this is my friend's house actually. She has moved abroad with her family, and I was searching for a house and she rented it to me a year back." You take another pause to take a few quick sips and then continue. "Damn, this wine really tastes good. Great choi---- huh.. what's happe--"

The wine glass shatters on the ground as you pass out on your side of the sofa. I placed my glass back on the table as I had accomplished what I was hoping for.

I carry your passed out body to your bedroom and place you down gently on the bed. I whip out my phone and take some pictures of you - for keepsake purposes.

I slowly proceed to take off your clothes and look at you in all of your glory. You look much more pretty than the pictures you keep sending me in a teasing way. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I come on top of you and mount my cock next to your entrance and start thrusting it inside you.

Your pussy feels so tight even as you are passed out. Your breasts flop up and down with each thrust and when I look up at you, you look just like a dainty little flower. People might always look at your cute and demure side of you, but what I'm seeing now is a whole another side of you.

Your glowing skin puts infectious thoughts into my brain, forcing me to act upon them. I give into my desires, violating your supple skin and leaving marks as I go. I smell the perfume on your hair and it only makes me all the more feral. Your breasts are so milky that my hands sink in with every squeeze.

I take your breasts into my mouth and suck on it like a baby and it feels so good. I was picking up the pace with which my cock was moving inside your pussy. I grab onto your hips as I thrust harder, reaching further parts of your pussy with subsequent thrusts.

I think I overestimated my own resistance to cum, because it didn't take me too long, combusting all that pent up cum straight up her womb. I pull my cock out and see some of it dripping out onto the sheets - and it made me only want to continue. I pushed my cock back in her hole - in every hole in fact, taking turns - until I unloaded my cum several times in each one of them - and watching my cum drip out of every hole was very satisfying to see.

I took some more photos of you in that state, and sent you those pictures in the dating app.

"No worries baby. Here are some souvenirs of our first encounter with each other. Thanks for the return present. It was really lovely. Hope you liked all of my presents.

- Your visitor. 💋💋💋"

[artslovergirl]

Stanford!art as a secret admirer pleaaaaase

hiii! sorry this took me literally a month to finish i am still not very good at keeping a drabble a drabble and this one really got away from me but i promise in the future that hopefully wont be the case....anywhoo! enjoy! (ty for being my first request ever!) also shoutout to diya for helping me a bit with characterizing art having a crush on someone! mwah!

admittedly, art felt like a creep. not enough to stop sneaking glances at you across the lecture hall but definitely enough to feel hot shame crawl up his neck whenever you would accidentally meet his eye contact.

he quickly glanced away and stared back at the blackboard, trying to pretend that's what he had been looking at all along.

he began fiddling with his pen, pushing the plastic end of it nervously against his lips. he could feel your eyes on him for a few moments longer before turning back around to face the professor.

great. now you probably actually thought he was a creep. which is not exactly how he planned your first form of contact to go.

...alright, to be fair, he never had an exact plan in the first place? but "make awkward eye contact" wouldn't have been a part of it. that's for sure.

he was a little out of his element here. stanford was a hell of a lot bigger than mark rebellato was.

back there, most of the girls knew him, sometimes even liked him already or he had patrick as his wingman. (or when it came to tashi, competition.) but here? he felt so unsure all of a sudden. it felt like all of the experience he had with dating seemed completely useless.

when he first saw you, he was still pretty infatuated with tashi. but that doesnt mean he didnt notice how hot you were. as more time passed the more he realized that tashi and patrick were apprently locked in (go figure the dude finally learns commitment just in time. read bitterness.) and the more he saw you, the more he heard you talk in class, the more he saw you laugh with your friends, the more you wouldnt leave his mind. not to mention how fucking smart you were. well, are.

the lecture ended and as always you were one of the first people out the door. you were always in a rush. or maybe you just had another class all the way on the other side of campus?

he wondered what your major was. he wondered if you knew he played tennis. he wondered if it would even impress you if you found out. he hoped it would.

---

art was sitting in the cafeteria stabbing his fork into his salad that consisted of like 70% veggies and 30% eggs.

he had to say, he was definitely getting sick of eggs at this point. he took a small sip of his gatorade.

usually, he drank blue, but he decided to try red today. maybe because it was patrick's favorite flavor or maybe because he needed at least a little change in routine.

unfortunately, as he went to place the bottle back down on the table, he almost knocked it over as soon as he suddenly noticed you standing by the vending machine. and then turning around. and.. walking towards him? holy shit.

at first, he thought you would just walk past him, but you stopped at his table. he didn't know if he believed in god, but at that moment, he certainly felt like a favorite.

"hey," you smiled politely, "sorry to bother you, but do you happen to have a quarter? that thing doesn't seem to take nickles." you nodded your head towards the vending machine at the entrance of the cafeteria.

"uh." his brain tried to play catch up. "um, yeah, let me check." he let out a small chuckle so he wouldn't sound so nervous, but it sounded more like he was wheezing. he pulled out his wallet, ripped apart the velcro, and checked. he silently celebrated when he noticed he did, in fact, have a few quarters. "yeah, how many do you need?" he looked up at you. his cheeks felt hot.

"oh, just one is fine." he nods, and suddenly, in front of your presence, it seems a lot harder to properly grab the quarter from his wallet. he does manage, though, and as he hands it to you, he feels your fingers brush against his palm.

as if transferred from your fingertips to his palm it felt like a surge went through his body, traveling through his arteries and sparking at the tips of his fingers and toes. you hand him your nickels in exchange. before you could turn to leave, he quickly interjected, "we're in the same class, right? english literature?"

he didnt know where he was going with this, he just wanted to keep talking to you.

your eyes flashed with recognition.

"oh, yeah! art, right? you sit behind me?" you knew his name. "yeah, yeah, that's right." he nodded, his fingers drummed against the table. there was a short lull in the conversation as he desperately tried to grasp for anything to talk about that wouldn't seem like he was hitting on you (even though he kind of was.)

"so, uh, this is actually good timing because i've been sorta meaning to talk to you anyway?" his lips pulled into a familiar charming lopsided smile.

"oh, really?" you tilted your head. "yeah." he nodded, his hand going to fidget with curls on the back of his neck that stuck out of his backwards cap.

"i, uh, need some help with some of the material, and, you know, you're so good-"

"oh, i'm not that-"

"nah, c'mon no need to be modest," there's that grin again, "i don't think i've ever seen you get a question wrong."

you huff, feeling embarrassed at the unexpected praise, "well, it's literature, so it's all interpretation, it's hard to be outright wrong."

"see, that answer just confirms it." he says.

you chuckle, finally giving in and accepting the compliment. "so..you want my help then?" he nods. he really prayed you would say yes because this was really his only plan on how to get to know you.

you mulled over it for a few seconds. then you nodded. "yeah, okay, let me give you my number and we can figure out the details later. i got another class in like-" you glanced back at the clock, "shit, 3 minutes."

you hastily ripped a piece of paper out of your notebook scribbled a number on it and left it on the table. "oh, and thanks for the quarter!" you yelled back (even though you didn't even get to use it) before booking it out of the cafeteria. guess he was right about you always being in a rush.

---

4:58 pm. 2 more minutes till you'd knock at his door. art did another once over of his room. now he wasn't exactly a messy guy but he had to admit his dorm had never been this clean before. actually maybe it was too clean...would you think that was weird? like would you think he was a neatfreak? girls probably weren't into that.

he began messing up his bedsheets just a little so it wouldnt look like he had just spent the past three hours obsessively cleaning every inch of his dorm. even though thats exactly what he did.

it was a pretty small room but you'd be surprised how long it can take to clean if you're doing a real deep clean. not to mention the pain in the ass that doing laundry in college was.

he did all of this because, keeping true to your word, you did make plans with him to help him out with some of the reading.

you : does 5pm on saturday work 4 u?? :-)

art : Yeah, I'm totally free!!

(in hindsight the two exclamation points were probably a bit much.)

just as he was about to check out his hair for the 5th time today, there was a knock on the door. he glanced at the little digital watch on his wrist. 5pm sharp. wow, you were punctual. was it weird that he found that hot?

art quickly brushes a few unruly curls that were sticking out of his backwards cap away with his fingers before moving to open the door.

---

"so, what's the exact stuff you're having trouble with?" you peered at him from his bed, which you were sitting on, which he was being very cool about.

you had asked him if it was okay to sit there after you had exchanged a few pleasantries and then chatted for about 10 minutes.

it was mostly about class at first, then turned into more personal topics. you asked him if he was on the tennis team, because of all the..well..tennis gear in his room.

he nodded and told you about his tennis scholarship. you chuckled and said you had never really watched any matches at stanford so far, but you'd like to see him play.

he really tried to not seem overly enthusiastic about that but he did tell you the exact time and date of his next match.

apparently, you thought the sport seemed "really impressive". ( i.e. you were impressed. i.e. you were impressed by him playing tennis. or that's at least how he heard it.)

then, after he found out you were an english major, which wasn't a surprise, you finally brought up the topic of studying.

he spun in his desk chair, to face you.

"just some of this..interpretive stuff...i feel like i never know what the professor wants to hear from me." he tapped the end of his pen against the book he was holding. "well.." you shifted into a cross-legged postion, you were wearing shorts and he was trying really hard not to stare at your legs.

"you probably shouldnt be thinking about that in the first place, you know, what the professor wants to hear? you should think about what you actually got from the book." he knew this was pretty standard advice but when you said it, it sounded like the most intelligent, world-changing thing he'd ever heard.

"riiight...what if i didnt get anything from it?" he smiled sheepishly, leaning his head on his hand. you scrunched up your nose and playfully rolled your eyes, "oh, come on, how can you read classic literature and not get anything from it? i don't believe that."

you scooted forward a little. a little closer to him. a nervous chuckle left his lips, his gaze swept back and forth between you and the book before settling on you.

truth be told, he was doing fine, at least grade-wise, and even if he wasn't, it wasn't like he was striving to become an english professor, he mostly decided to take this class on a whim. but the part about struggling with interpretations was true, it just maybe wasn't necessarily a dire enough situation to require your help...

"well, maybe youre not asking yourself the right questions before you read." you hummed, gently tapping your finger against your leg. "can i see your notes?"

art panicked a bit at that. he wasn't sure why, but suddenly someone looking at his notes felt oddly intimate. you would be able to read the bits and parts of the book he regarded as important enough to jot down. what he liked. what he didn't like. perhaps it was a little intimate.

he tried to play it casual, though, and nodded as he handed you his english lit folder. his nerves only got worse the longer you took to read through them.

then suddenly, you smiled and nodded a little bit before looking up at him again. he prayed that you couldn't see the way his heart was trying to escape his ribcage right now.

"you know, you couldve just asked me out."

before his brain could even process that sentence, his mouth seemed to go into immediate action to splutter out some kind of denial in order to salvage this, "what? i- no, no, that's not- i mean, seriously why would-"

"i mean, i wouldn't have said no. like you didn't have to pretend to need my help. you clearly don't need it-" you gently tossed his folder back onto the desk. "-plus you're cute."

he didn't move for a good few seconds until he finally caught up to what had just happened.

now, this would've been the moment where he would've liked to be really cool and smooth in his response, but instead what happened was: "um..so then are we..like are you.."

in his defense you kind of caught him off guard. like completely. he had had a plan. how the study sessions would transition into friendship, and then maybe, hopefully at some point would transition into dating. he was a patient guy, really, and you had just skipped like...everything.

"are you free tomorrow?" you asked, as you stood up to grab your bag. wow, you were really taking the wheel at this point. and he discovered that he had shockingly little problem with that.

"uh, yeah, yeah i'm free..like all day." he did have training in the morning but he truly would skip it just this once if it came down to it.

"2pm?"

"sure."

"i'll text you?"

"okay."

"so..it's a date?"

you had stood up from the bed and were suddenly already on your way out. probably because you could tell he needed a minute.

"yeah, a date." he nodded with a (almost lovestruck) smile he hadn't even noticed had snuck its way unto his lips. you reciprocated with an equally excited grin, "cool."

before he knew it, the door had clicked shut, and he was alone again. he felt warm.

"cool."

[radiostaticlive]

Tim did not wake up in his bed. No, he woke up a dirty alley in the heart of Crime Alley.

Tim, hand pressed over his ear: Oracle, can you fill me in.

Silence. Not even static.

Tim looks down for the first time and notices he’s not in consume. He’s not Red Robin, but Tim Drake. And pointy does not have any of his equipment on him.

What the heck. He was pretty sure he was fighting the Penguin earlier. Had that bird knocked him out and strip him?

No. No, he’s in the same clothes he put on the morning before. The same clothes that he wore to that stupid W.E meeting.

Tim, muttering to himself as he slowly leaves the alley: Ok. Ok calm down Tim. You can figure this out.

He pats himself down, looking for his phone to call the cave. He finds it, noticeably cracked but still functional.

No signal.

Tim: Just my luck. Looks like I have to walk home.

When Tim gets to the entrance of the cave he finds it sealed shut. Like glued to the seems with concrete shut.

Ok. That’s ok. Tim’s siblings prank him all the time. This is nothing new. Just incredibly inconvenient.

Takes him an additional 20 minutes but he’s finally in the cave, thanks to one of the multiple entrances. Thank god for Bruce and his paranoia.

“As you can see here. Batman had a tool for pretty much anything and everything. “

Tim froze at the unknown voice in the cave. Sticking to the shadows he crept forward to peer inside without being seen.

The cave looked sterile. Velvet rope blocked off the Bat computer, and off to the side a table was out displaying case files and Bat-a-rings.

What the.

“And if you look over here, you can see what our hero’s wore to protect our great city.” The same voice drew Tim’s attention to the group of people in the middle of the room.

They looked like tourists. Cameras out, faces a mixer of intrigued excitement or boredom. They were fallowing a lady, presumably the tour guide, to there Jason’s memorial was.

Tim was quick to sneak into the back of the group and act like he was just another bored teenager. He had to figure out what was going on and if that meant touring his own house, so be it.

Tour guide: And here we are. The Robins. the boy, or girl, Wonders. Now there were a total of 5 robins, but Stephane Brown only hold the mantle for a short time. In order the Robins were first, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damian Wayne.

This isn’t good. First some lady was giving a tour of the Batcave of all places and now she knows their names. And she just told about 20 people and god who knows how many more.

She knows.

She told.

Everyone knows.

Fuck.

Ok, maybe the bats went into hiding? That had to be what happened. But then why would they leave Tim? Did they think he was dead?

The tour went on. The guide went on and on about things that didn’t really matter or were completely inaccurate. Tim was trying not to freak out the longer it went on.

Finally the group went to the elevator, except the small 2 passenger elevator was replaced with one of those big ones that could hold a large group of people.

The manor proper was very much in the same state as the cave. Things were roped off while other items were displayed. It made his head hurt.

Tapping the shoulder of the guy next to him.

Tim: Hey, do you remember what the name of this place is?

Guy: Uh, yeah kid. Kinda hard with the cheesy name.

Tim: Which is? Sorry bad memory.

Guy: The Bat- Museum. Seriously kid. I know that this stuff is boring but you gotta learn your history. The Bats were good people.

Tim, trying not to show the panic at the perfect that he’s been hearing all day.

Tim: Yeah you’re right.

Thankfully the cave seemed to be the end of the tour as the guide lead them to the main foyer.

Tim in all his panic glory, ran out the doors the minute people were leaving.

Muttering a desperate plead to any god in the universe.

Tim: Please don’t be right. Please don’t be right. Please don’t be dead.

With all the stealth his shaking form could do, Tim makes his was around the Manor to the secluded privet cemetery.

Tim’s heart dropped in his chest. Even at a distance he could make out several graves in the once nearly empty lot.

Not bothering with the gate, Tim climbed and hosted himself over landing hard on the ground.

But he

Did

Not

Care.

Tears unwilling fell from his eyes as he read the names on the new graves.

His family’s names.

On sleek marble.

Dead.

Even Alfred had his own stone. Right next to Bruce, like he always did. Like he forever will do now.

Tim stared blankly at his own grave that was in the middle of Steph’s and Jason’s. The one he crawled out of. But not this time.

In loving memory of Timmothy Drake- Wayne

Beloved son, friend and hero.

“Reach for the stars chum.” - Bruce Wayne, adopted father

Tim fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.

He failed.

He failed them.

Again.

He couldn’t protect his family a second time. What a worthless “hero” he was. He couldn’t even die right!

White light surrounded Tim’s crying form.

Phantom stood, tears still falling down his face.

With one last look at the graves around him, he flew up and away from Gotham.

Away from the city he failed.

Just like Amity.

[jeonscatalyst]

it’s always been interesting to me the difference between how two major ‘fights’ within BTS are told, or three if you include Koobis banana incident 😆

The dumpling fight, and the rainy day fight TM.

I thought about it since hearing Jimin talking about how it took a while for him and Tae to get closer in AYS, and said they did after that big fight. That he shook with rage at the time. The fight never really made sense to me, the dumpling one, as Jimin said it was over petty things, that they often fought over silly things.

Then you’ve got the rainy day fight, and the way they spoke about it at Festa 2020, and in lives in 2023. Both pretty much recounting it exactly the same as the other. I saw a video edit mash up of it but couldn’t find it, where the stories interwove and it’s amazing to see it. But at Festa dinner, with the others reactions, the giggling from Jin and Joon, that it sounds like a k drama, that it sounds like something a couple would do. And it does, it sounds exactly like a k drama, the dramatic pause when JK is lost, the make up in the rain, the hug. It’s so cute, and so endearing to hear them talk about it. How their relationship is essentially so important to them, they made up that night, unlike the dumpling fight, which lasted.

It shows how they really do have a good way of communicating with each other, even back then. And for JK to feel sorry to Jimin for that, and it’s something they can talk about and look back on with fondness almost, is testament to their bond.

Hey anon,

I think the Vmin fight(s) is relatively easy to piece together and understand if you have a solid understanding of their relationship….something many people unfortunately lack.

Jimin and Taehyung were among the members who got close almost immediately after meeting in my opinion. Looking at content from their rookie days, it’s clear that even the other members often pointed to them as the two who were closest. However, while they were friends and close, their relationship at the time seemed more surface-level. They didn’t fully understand, accept, or relate to each other yet. It reminds me of those teenage friendships where you genuinely like each other and have fun together, but the connection lacks a deeper level of understanding. That’s what I believe Vmin’s relationship was like in the beginning.

When Jimin says it took time for him and Tae to become as close as they are now, it doesn’t mean they weren’t friends or weren’t close before. It simply means that, over time, their bond deepened as they grew to better understand and accept each other despite their differences.

In the BTS book, Tae shared that when he first met Jimin, he struggled to understand him. He couldn’t grasp why Jimin pushed himself so hard, why he seemed so passionate, or why he was impatient about achieving his goals. Tae also described Jimin as intense….traits he found hard to relate to at the time. If you know anything about Tae and Jimin, it’s clear they’re fundamentally different people who approach life in very distinct ways. Add to that the fact that they’re the same age, and it’s easy to see how misunderstandings would arise.

I believe their many petty fights and arguments stemmed from these different approaches to life. The dumpling incident, while often highlighted, was more of a boiling point than the root cause of their conflicts. It forced them to address unresolved tensions and misunderstandings. This is why, after that fight, both admitted they’d gained a deeper understanding of each other, which ultimately strengthened their bond and brought them closer to where they are today. The way this fight is often described says a lot about their dynamic and the depth of their relationship.

On the other hand, Jikook’s “rainy day” story perfectly illustrates the foundation of Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship. Their bond is built on trust, support, and a profound emotional connection. While this wasn’t always apparent during their rookie days, anyone paying close attention could sense the nature of their bond and what it was rooted in.

The other members’ reactions to the rainy day story….rubbing goosebumps away, cringing, or making remarks like “That’s what a couple would do”, reveal how they themselves perceived the story. Even their singing of that angsty romantic taxi driver song adds to this perception. People might try to downplay it, but to me, it’s significant.

This story highlights the depth of Jimin and Jungkook’s emotional connection and how much Jungkook values Jimin’s presence and opinions in his life. It shows how their relationship has always been characterized by healthy communication and an innate ability to reach and support each other. Jungkook feeling bad about it years later underscores just how meaningful that moment was to him.

[thedissonantverses]

The Solas Problem:

A Lesson in Narrative Tension in DATV

This isn’t a Solas critical write-up, nor is it positive. It’s only an essay on how narrative tension works. We take Solas as he is here. Media Literacy 101 is back in session under the cut.

TL;DR: Giving Solas more screen time would have stripped Veilguard of one of its best parts. Solas.

“No real god need prove himself. Anyone who tries is mad or lying.”

We actually have two major problems with Solas right off the bat. The first is power. The power creep on this man is absurd. He’s been around for thousands of years and his magic has affected the fabric of reality in Thedas. He can kill people in their dreams. He can turn people to stone with his mind. The blight. Just…the blight. Altering the course of history is what he does best.

When we first meet him in Inquisition he is a considerable threat but not anything special for Thedas. In his reveal in Tresspasser he sent chills down my spine. In Veilguard he’s had years to accumulate enough power to tear down the Veil. If it had been a real fight with Solas in the beginning Rook would have been obliterated.

Even if Solas was an ally, it wouldn’t work. This is very similar to why Superman had kryptonite because he’s already overpowered without it. If Solas is around the whole game pulling Rook out of every fight, Veilguard would suck. It’d be so boring. There is no good way to deal with his raw power without trapping, severely injuring, or putting him to sleep or on a side quest the whole game. Put a pin in this, we’ll get back to it.

The second large writing problem with Solas is he is ruthless. This man clearly follows his own rules and he’s survived a long time against enemies many more times more powerful than the Veilguard. It’s why Rook and the team seem so “nice” in comparison. None of them would have stabbed their friends for the greater good. None of them could or ever would do what he and Mythal did to the Titans. Whatever his motivations are at any given moment are largely driven by his own sense of right or wrong. He does have one. It’s just not the same as us mortals’. Run afoul of his moral code and you’re dead.

I’m going to go on a bit of an aside but I promise it’s related. The first Alien movie is a good horror move, in part to a technique movies use to great effect. Tease your audience. The reason they don’t show the alien too much is because it would look fucking goofy. No matter how good your effects were back then, a human in a suit moves like a human in a suit. What that movie does really well in its horror is show glimpses of the man in the mask but not the whole thing at once. Let the audience’s minds fill in the gaps.

That’s what Veilguard is doing with Solas throughout the game. We know Solas is powerful. But the first time we see him it’s him failing. Then he’s trapped in time and space. We get echoes of what he can do. We don’t fully realize how powerful until you see him flinging blight back in Minrathous with the same amount of effort a regular character would use to shoot their bow. We get glimpses of his deeper motivations and foibles, but we don’t feel what’s it’s truly like to be in his way until Tearstone Island. We don’t learn about Varric until the wolf has already cornered us.

So why did they trap him?

Trapping Solas in a prison of his own design, where the key is regret, is excellent character work. We know Solas doesn’t see himself as the villain. We know he’s the type of man who thinks of himself as not just Elgar’nan’s equal, but his better. Which, maybe he is, but he is still a self-righteous man with rivers of blood on his hands who was ready to destroy the world Thedas has become in order to restore a past that can never be again. Solas is static. Unyielding. Frozen by regret. He won’t change to suit the world, he will change the world to suit him.

The examples used of how Solas could be dealt with work, but to varying degrees depending on how well they’re executed. Why matters as much as how. What the writers did was look at Solas’ prior character work and pick the best one to suit him. The way they executed this solves multiple problems at once, using the character’s own fatal flaw against him.

It’s a simple solution, really.

[11luckyst4r]

☆3 MONTHS☆

- you decided to swear off sex for 3 months to prove your friend wrong. How hard can it be, right? You wouldn't ever dream of sleeping with your new roommate, satoru gojo, yet she thinks you can't do it.

content: dirty talk, petnames (sweets, princess etc) ,degradation (slut etc),unprotected sex ,creampie, uhhh what else, reader is kind of a slut.(real shit) smut with sprinkles of a plot. Reader is stubborn (me) idk what else

first fic kinda nervous

You wondered how you ended up in this predicament. You didn't plan on swearing off sex for 3 months. But your best friend joked you'd end up fucking your roommate Satoru Gojo. He wasn't even your type. " Gojo is a cocky know-it all and I wouldn't sleep with him" Your friend cackled " Babes i love you but you tend to think with your dick when you're horny."

You were utterly shocked at that. While 7 did tend to sleep with guys and girls often, you wouldn't sleep with your roommate. Especially Gojo of all people, his friend Geto, though was another thing.

"University is the place for fun, besides I have to have fun now. When I go to med school it's books and studying and I won't have time for fun." You said matter of factly. That's when you made the personal promise to be celibate for 3 months to prove your best friend wrong. What you didn't count on , was how pent up you'd become.

3 weeks in you felt fine, but you noticed gojo staring at your chest all too often. That was after he walked in on you in the bathroom. Without a top on. Shaving your armpits in the sink. You thought that gave him the ick.

4 weeks in you were in denial that you were fine. And you noticed Gojo brushing your arm here and there. Sometimes he'd come up behind you to help you get your favourite mug from the top shelf. You swore that you left it on the bottom shelf.

6 weeks in , your toys became your best friends. " It's just as good as the real thing" You told your best friend while she shook her head. You aslo noticed Gojo walking around shirtless more often too. He was the definition of a sleeper build. And sometimes you'd have to stop yourself staring.

Week 8 you lost feeling in your 4th eye, you couldn't taste in your ear anymore and your eyed could feel colour's.

You lost count around week 9. Now you were beginning to lose it. You couldn't focus in class anymore, your mind would go to the most dirty scenarios regarding some of your fine professors. You also became noticeably irritable.

"fuck" You muttered to yourself, you gave yourself another miserable orgasm. Which was weird since normally you were quite good at it. You left your room to go make yourself some tea. "stupid celibacy pledge." You grumbled to yourself while making tea. Gojo sat on the couch watching some stupid movie with a stupid plot. "You okay, you seem irritated lately?" He asked.

" I'm fine" , you sighed " just stressed out with schoolwork"

"Oh?" You could feel him staring into your back so you turned to face him. His eyes immediately went down.

" You know Gojo this staring at my boobs thing is getting really old"

"I'm not staring" he said while not breaking boob eye contact.

You scoffed and turned your focus back on your tea. You heard his foot steps come up behind you. " You know if you're stressed with schoolwork I could uh... help you with that." You turned to face him. Except you had to look up at him.

" Stop being coy"

He leaned down to whisper in your ear and placed his hand on your waist. You swore your pussy started throbbing." You're looking at me like you're begging me to bend you over the kitchen counter and I'm the only one being coy?"

You so badly wanted him to continue speaking to you like that, but you were stubborn. So you turned your back to him, brushing your ass against his dick unnecessarily. That just egged him on, and he continued whispering downright dirty things in your ear. "See, now I have an idea of what you're like," he whispered while tracing circles on your waist. You tried to distract yourself by stiring your tea. "Oh? You think about me im so touched. " " Touched is what you'll be if you keep grinding your ass on my dick sweets"

You stopped, and his hands dropped lower to your hips. You hadn't even realised what you were doing. You felt yourself getting hotter and wetter. " Anyways, princess there are a long list of things I'd like to do to you". You were getting weak , you were only a girl and you had needs.

"Like what" You replied breathlessly

" You pressed up against the wall, leg on my shoulder and thighs squeezing my head."

He kept his one hand on your hip keeping you steady while the other trailed up to your boob. He began playing with your nipple and you thanked God you didn't wear a bra that day.

You couldn't keep your head on straight anymore and you moaned softly.

"You like that you slut" You could feel him smiling against your neck and you could only moan in response. Gojo began kissing your neck softly while you started grinding against his hardening dick.

"Gojo" You moaned softly

"No, use my name, else I won't touch you," He said playfully. However, you were too horny to be defiant, so you used his name.

"That's my girl"

His hand moved down to your shorts, went under and he started playing with your pussy over your underwear. The sensations were too much, but not enough at the same. You needed proper stimulation. You were getting so wet yet were so deprived.

"Satoru, please touch me properly"

"Where? Be specific, princess. "

You were desperate at this point, and the games weren't fun anymore. "Oh my God, you're not stupid. Put your long ass fingers to good use and finger me."

" Well, if you speak to me like that, you can finger yourself then." That's when you grabbed his hand and shoved it in your underwear. Satoru was shocked he didn't think you'd take control even if it was a tiny bit , but he liked it. His fingers were long, and he knew how to use them. He curled them in all the right spots. "Fuckk," you moaned. " You're a loud one, I wonder what sounds will come out of you when my dicks inside you" You could only grind against his fingers in response. His free hand roamed over your body. He played with your boob and squeezed your thighs all the while he nibbled your neck. You could feel how hard he was against your ass . You took his hand out of your shorts and turned around, pushing him towards the couch. Satoru only smirked in response. " Wowww you like taking control, huh? " He laid back against the couch. " Well, yeah, since you seem to be going to slow. Take off your pants." You first removed your shorts, shirt and then climbed into his lap after he took off his sweats. "Seriously blue, the same colour as your eyes?" You muttered while climbing into his lap. You didn't give him a chance to respond because he started kissing him and grinding on him. This time, you made him moan. You placed his hands on your hips and then held his face. "You know Satoru you're gonna need to be more dominant if i decide to fuck you again" You whispered into his ear. You heard him mutter shut up before grabbing your face to make out with you. You didn't expect him to be such a sloppy kisser. But he was. You tangled your hands in his hair while moaning into the kiss. You felt his hand squeeze your ass then move to your hips. You silently thanked God once again that you wore your cute lacy thong instead of grandma panties. Then you silently cursed when you felt him rip them off. " You ass those were my favourites." You wanted me to be more dominant." he smiled while moving you under him. He took off his own underwear and stroked himself. You looked at his dick. He was long like his fingers.

You wished that you were about to have your world rocked, and boy, that wish come true. Judging a book by its cover you assumed Satoru Gojo didn't know how to fuck. You thought he'd be a lot like those guys who said they knew how to please a woman but learned everything they knew from porn stars and their clueless guy friends. You were wrong. Satoru gojo knew how to fuck.

He had your legs over his hips and pinned your hands above your head. He left bruising kisses all over your chest and neck. He paid careful attention to your boobs, sucking each nipple with care. And his thrust? His stamina was insane for such a skinny guy. You were sure the neighbours would know his name from how loud you were moaning his name. "Ahhh, right there, yes there." You moaned. " Fuck you feel so fucking good." " Fuckk I swear this pussy was made for me you're such a good slut" He babbled on and on. You felt that familiar feeling building up inside. And he felt it too with how your walls began to clench him. " Cum for me , cum on my dick like a good slut" he moaned. He left more bruising kisses on your tits before shoving his tongue in your mouth once more. His hand trailed down to your clit where he rubbed circles on them. That sent you over the edge. You felt your walls clench down and moaned so loudly it was closer to a scream. Satoru began thrusting faster, chasing his own high. "Where must I cum?" He asked " Inside" and that made him finish. He kissed you once again. "Well, we'll have to do that again" he said while moving to sit up on the couch. " So much for 3 months of celibacy ." you said aloud. He looked at you utterly confused. You sat up quickly. " You know, gojo, I thought I gave you the ick when you walked in on me shaving my armpit hair." He cocked his head and looked at you, "why the fuck would i be paying attention to your hair armpits when your boobs were right there" You laughed and swatted at him. Maybe living with him wouldn't be so bad.

a/n That took so fucking long. Endings kinda rushed. I'm sorry. I'm so tired. Idk how to end these appropriately anyways FIRST FIC DONE WOOHOO 🎉🎊 uhm please don't steal or copy thanks MWAH MWAH HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY SNOOKUMS.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 23

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Jay Halstead x Reader

Mouse goes out to dinner with Stella and Kelly then Jay ends up at his hotel room

A/N: This story is still very much in an angst place. People get (what i think) are happy endings. But not yet 🤷‍♀️

Warnings: Mouse's POV so yeah 🤷‍♀️ I feel like that's a warning in itself 😂

Mouse walked you back to your jeep, you had to go to work. He hated the part of not having anything to do really between getting home and going to Georgia. He’d done all his paperwork, crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s. Times like this he missed the tech spot in intelligence, not like it would go over very smoothly right now anyways.

Mendez lived in town so he could go see him, see how he was adjusting to being back stateside. Something to get his mind off the fact that you were clearly hurting, again. He hated that he was home and still couldn’t do anything to fix your pain. He hated so much of where all of you had currently found yourselves. 

The woman he loved was ripping herself to shreds, trying to spare everyone else’s heart around her and take care of her babygirl. Maybe he should’ve been stronger, turned her away..something but damn he was hers first. 

He had stayed away from her purposely because he had found out she loved Jay and didn’t want to hurt either of them but when she’d found him? When she was standing in front of him, telling him how much she loved him, had never stopped loving him? How the hell could he turn her away? How the hell could he not hold her close? If loving her was what damned him he’d welcome it. 

His best friend, well could he call Jay that anymore? It seemed weird after all this time to refer to Jay as anything else. Even after everything it felt wrong to think of him as anything but his best friend. He’d inadvertently hurt him, in the worst of ways. Jay was a good man in general, and had been a good man to you. Jay was a good father. Jay had been a good friend to him, they’d survived hell together, overseas and back home.

He shook his head and pulled his phone out to call Mendez, he just needed a few hours to clear his head. He was meeting Stella and Kelly for dinner, which was going to be interesting enough. He could imagine how the conversation with Stella was going to go, which he’d gladly take as long as she’d give her blessing for him to be around again, if you wanted him in Chicago he was coming home to Chicago no matter what it took.

Mouse pulled up to the restaurant where he was meeting Stella and Kelly. He wanted to text you and ask if you were ok but he knew you needed time. You had just told him that morning you needed to talk to Jay and the last possible thing you needed was for him to call or message you while you were talking to Jay.

At least Kelly still had that damn mustang. It was easy to spot in the parking lot and had an empty space next to it. He parked his rental and pocketed the keys. 

____________

He walked in the door of the restaurant and didn’t have to look around before he heard Stella’s sharp whistle she used on the truck to get everyone’s attention. He turned towards the noise and saw her and Kelly sitting on the back wall. He smiled and headed that way.

When he got to the table Stella stood up and Kelly cut his eyes at him, ok here it comes. “Greg” ok he knew Stella was the opposite of you when it came to his actual name. If she called him Greg it was something serious. “Hey Stella. It’s good to see you” she drew her hand back and open palm slapped him across the face “That’s for breaking my sister’s heart when you not only rejoined the rangers but broke up with her when that was clearly not what she wanted!”

He reached to rub his face but before he could she pulled him into a hug “and this is for loving her enough to come your ass back to Chicago despite everything for her” he looked towards Kelly who shrugged before returning the hug “I’d come back from hell itself for your sister Stella” he promised and she pulled back from the hug and smiled at him “Ok, I got that out of my system. Let’s talk and eat. I need to make sure what your plans are because if you’re only one foot in I need to know so I can figure out where I’m burying you”

He laughed nervously, looking at Kelly who shook his head “She’s half joking” “Well, nice to know” he pulled out the chair across from them and sat down.

_____________

“What about Adeline, Greg?” Stella eyed him over her glass of wine. He sat down the water he was drinking “She’s her daughter Stel. I love her more than anything on this earth and even if he doesn’t believe me I still have love for Jay. We saw each other through a lot. That baby is a mixture of the two people who have meant the most to me in my adult life. Why wouldn’t I love her despite the circumstances? She’s innocent in everything. I respect that Jay has been amazing to Y/N throughout her pregnancy and since and I love him for it, I love that he’s a good father. As strange as it sounds I’m glad it was him over someone else that may have left her high and dry”

“Damn” Kelly muttered and Stella shot him a look. He shrugged “What? Baby that was a good answer, you gotta admit” Stella shook her head but Mouse saw the tiny smile tugging at her lips.

 “So you’re telling me, as a man, it doesn’t make you hold resentment or anger towards her that she slept with your best friend?” “Towards her? No. I made the mistake of leaving and of breaking up with her when I left but I can’t hold resentment because of Addy” “Damn” Kelly repeated again and when Stella shot him another look he took a sip of his drink and looked away like the wall suddenly interested him more than annoying his wife further. 

Stella snapped her fingers and pointed at him “Your training is eighteen weeks. She works with Jay, they co-parent. You’re not gonna be worried something may happen?” “I’ve made it clear to her and will make it clear to her again that all I ask for is honesty in that and we’ll get through it” Stella shook her head and took another sip of her wine “I don’t remember you being this fucking perfect for my sister”

Kelly scoffed “He’s been head over heels for her since the first day he started working with intelligence baby” Stella finished her wine and reached for her water instead, eyeing Mouse as she did “Ok, what if she picks Jay but still wants you in her life? Hmm Mister perfect?” 

He smiled slightly “I’ll be her friend. Whatever she wants me to be, I’ll be” “Damn” Stella was the one to say it this time. Mouse laughed lightly “Stel, I’m not saying what I think you want to hear. I love her, she’s the love of my life. Not a day that’s gone by where that’s changed. Did it hurt like hell finding out she slept with Jay and was pregnant?” he cut his eyes at Kelly “How would you feel?”

“I’d want to kill him but my feelings for her wouldn’t change” Kelly replied. Mouse nodded “Exactly. It ripped my fucking heart out but the pieces still belonged to her. I tried to move on, a couple times when we were on leave overseas” Stella raised an eyebrow “And?” he laughed “Kinda hard to do when I saw your sister everywhere I looked. No matter where I was, no matter what the woman in front of me looked like she didn’t compare to her. I didn’t even know she’d been with Jay up until the day I came home until this morning”

Stella grimaced slightly “You didn’t?” he shook his head “No, and do you think that shit didn’t hurt? To know while I was on a plane home, she was waking up in Jay’s arms telling him she loved him. What if she changes her mind when I’m gone? What if she wants him again? What if she doesn’t trust me when I’m gone… Stella I’ve went over so many scenarios in my head but the one thing that’s true is what you told me before I ever left”

“If you can’t stand to see her in somebody else’s arms then it’s still worth fighting for”  he nodded “She told me she loves me, that she’s still in love with me, that she never fell out of love with me. That’s what I’m going to hold on to. I’m going to do my best to make sure she knows whatever happens she can tell me, she can trust me. I’m not fucking it up this time Stella. I would still do damn near anything for Jay but I was hers first”

Kelly grinned and Stella cut her eyes at him “What was that about?” he shrugged “I like the fact that he didn’t claim ownership of her, he gave her ownership of him” Mouse cut his eyes at Kelly with a grin “There’s worse options then being owned by one of the Kidd women isn’t there?” 

Stella and Kelly walked with Mouse out to the parking lot. Mouse couldn’t help but feel his heart ache at seeing the two of them. They were so damn happy,you and him were that happy at one time.

“Mouse?” Stella called so he cut his eyes at her “Yeah?” she smiled “Don’t stop fighting for her. She deserves the best type of love regardless of who she ends up with” he smiled slightly “Yeah, she does” 

He told them goodnight then headed back to his hotel room. He hoped you’d call to say goodnight or maybe call him in the morning. Either way he needed some sleep.

Stella told Kelly she wanted to stop by your place to talk to you after they left the restaurant and he laughed as he pulled out onto the road, already pointed towards your apartment “However did I know?” She laughed and leaned over to kiss his cheek “Because you’re the best husband to me and the best brother in law to her”

He shook his head as he drove to your place, listening to her talk about you and Addy. He pulled into the spot next to your jeep and cut his eyes at her “Go ahead baby, I’ll just wait out here” she smiled and leaned over to pull him into a kiss “I love you so much” he smiled against her lips “I know. I love you too. Tell her I said hey and give Addy a kiss for me”

_____________

You heard someone knocking at the door. You had at least managed to make it back up to the couch. You took a deep breath and braced yourself just in case it was Jay. Mouse wouldn’t come to your place. He didn’t want to step on Jay’s toes where Addy was concerned.

“I’m coming” you called out, wincing slightly at how rough your voice sounded from crying. You walked over and almost didn’t unlock the door when you realized who it was but what good would it do when she or Kelly could knock the door down if they really wanted to?

 You unlocked the door and swung it open, keeping your gaze down “Hey Stel” she grinned “Hey honey be…” she trailed off when she looked at your face “Who is responsible for that? Because I’m gonna kill them”

“I’m fine Stel” you tried but she was already pushing into the apartment and turning you around towards the light to get a better look at your face “Yeah cause lord knows I cry until my face is freakin swollen in places when I’m fine. Now let’s try this one more time before you have to call in favors with Voight to get him to call in favors to get me off murder charges. Why were you crying?”

“It’s no one’s fault but mine” you whispered and she shook her head, keeping her voice low because of the time and she knew Addy was asleep “Bullshit. Did Jay make you cry? Because Mouse has been with me?” “I talked to him..he knows I slept with Greg…I’m a fucking horrible person Stella..I’m fucking poison…I want them both to leave me alone”

You didn’t realize tears had started again until she pulled you into her arms “What do you mean? Honey, talk to me?”  “I keep hurting them both and they won’t hate me. Jay won’t, Mouse damn sure won’t….how much easier would Mouse’s life be if he could’ve forgotten me and never come back to Chicago? How much easier would Jay’s life be if he’d gotten literally anyone else pregnant? I can’t stop hurting them even when I try my best to keep from doing it”

She directed you to the couch and sat down with you laying against her chest “Oh honey bee..They love you..no matter the why or the how..they love you. You are the type of person who will rip yourself to shreds for those you care about, I’ve seen you do it one too many times. Don’t do it anymore. You have a precious little girl who needs her mom. You can not help what your heart wants. You are not poisonous or horrible. You’re human love, with human emotions and that’s ok”

“Where’s Kelly?” you asked and she leaned back to look down at you “He’s in the car, do you want him?” you shook your head “Do you gotta go since he’s waiting?” she smiled “Not if you need me. I’ll tell him to go grab me a change of clothes and bring em back. I’ll go with you to drop off in the morning” “I still work with Jay and share a daughter with him and Mouse is still leaving thursday for four and a half months where he can’t come home but every other weekend or so”

“We’ll figure it out babe. Sisters are ride or die remember. You’ve been there for me. It’s just my turn to be there for you”

Jay walked down the hallway of the hotel until he found the room number that was registered to Mouse. He had to talk to him. There was no other option, and actually talk. This needed a mature approach not pushing buttons and seeing what happened.

He knocked on the door and heard shuffling of jeans on carpet before it opened. Mouse looked a bit confused before asking “Do I need to duck here or what?” Jay shook his head “No, we need to talk”

Mouse stepped back and waved his arm “Come on in”

_____________

Jay stepped into the room, his eyes flickering towards the bed before turning to face Mouse. “She told me” Mouse nodded “So is this where I duck?” Jay shook his head “You do know that no matter what, me and her are gonna have to be in each other’s lives?” 

Mouse nodded “The shared daughter and job sort of told me that” “Her and Addy are my girls Greg. I love her more than I ever meant to. I don’t want to see her hurt and more so I don’t want my daughter getting used to someone then that person up and leave”  Mouse nodded “I get that, all of that”

“Then you can see how finding out that the woman I love cheated on with my best friend fucking felt?” “Hurt, didn’t it?” Mouse asked and the two stood there staring at each other for a long second before Jay said “You weren’t with her” “No but she’s the love of my life Jay. I’d cut my heart out of my chest right this moment if that’s what she needed. There’s not a damn thing I wouldn’t do for her”

“Would you walk away if she asked you to?” Jay questioned and he nodded “If that’s what caused her the least of amount of pain, yes” “I’ve been with her for months, I held her while she brought our daughter into the world” Jay said and Mouse nodded “I know, you’re a good man Jay and a fucking amazing father. Y/N loves you Jay, she truly does. You mean so much to her”

“I wished cards would’ve fallen differently. You’re my best friend Mouse. You pulled me out of shit my own brother didn’t care to” Jay admitted and Mouse nodded in agreement “You pulled me out of shit no one cared to. I’d still do just about anything for you Jay but don’t ask me to walk away from her without a fight. I’m not leaving past my training unless she tells me to leave”

“And if she told you to?” Jay asked and Mouse shrugged “I’d tear my heart out of my chest to spare her pain” “What about Addy?” Jay asked, Mouse took a deep breath “You two have a beautiful daughter.You’ve done an amazing job raising her and no matter who she ends up with you are Adeline’s father Jay, only you”

Jay nodded and held out his hand. Mouse took it and when they shook it Jay said “Maybe one day we can actually get back to being best friends again” “I hope so”

Part 24

@desimarie12

[gorgynei]

I am here to ask you to yap about the bh Ludinus art piece because it went HARD

thank you :) !!! and thank you again for the enabling. i really really love to do abstract references especially in critrole fanart, so a lot of it ends up with about a bajillion things that no one ever points out

(link to the full art)

its supposed to be like a sort of propaganda poster from the POV of the exandrian accord depicting bells hells as sinister agents of ludinus. all of bells hell's scary/worrying traits are upped to 11 because theyre caricatures of themselves twisted to make them seem more villainous. the reaching hands are meant to represent the exandrian accord, or more generally exandria/the mortals/the gods

ludinus is posed like he's holding bells hells up. bells hells is clustered in a way that makes them look a bit like aeor or just any flying city, so its like ludinus is raising the flying cities back into the sky (returning mortals to former glory, via predathos). all the reaching hands are obviously trying to grab for ludinus and stop that from happening. theres loads of hands reaching for ludinus but just one reaching for predathos, so its about how the few (ludinus and bh) are making a choice for the many (exandria)

i was going to use more blue for the hands and lower part of the piece but i felt like that got muddied with ludinus being associated with blue and i couldnt make it look good. so exandria is represented by a yellow-green colour that reminds me of dying grass, which feels appropriate given the fact that exandrians are under a lot of strain rn !

hopefully that isnt all super obvious but also isnt so obtuse that no one would ever figure it out on their own. i can never tell to what extent people analyze other people's art (if at all LMAO)

[linearao3]

I don’t have a new Publish or Perish chapter and probably won’t any time super soon because I am very tired and also I hate that I am being accidentally Relevant due to H-1B Discourse. So please accept this tiny little interstitial — probably the only Kaz POV I will provide for this fic. You could say there are spoilers but I think it’s more like foreshadowing? This might not even be canonical to the fic. Who can say. But please enjoy.

—

He reaches for the phone out of habit, because that’s what he does now at night, look and see if Inej has texted him. And yes, she did just leave, but you never know.

She hasn’t texted. She just left; of course she hasn’t.

He thinks vaguely that he might have read somewhere that you should ask people to text you when they get home safely. He can’t remember if this was etiquette advice, or a devious way of making sure they kept thinking about you.

He’d had some notion, in his head, that after he kissed her, she might turn in the doorway and close her hand around his jaw, pull him down to kiss her. She is so warm, and her mouth is warmer, and he imagines — imagines too much, with too much of his time and too much presumption that he’ll ever find out — that it’s even warmer than that in her cunt.

He’s jealous of the stupid toy. He’s so smug that she likes it.

He types

Sex is so strange. I had all these notions of what I wanted to do, and I didn’t do any of them, and what I did do feels like the only good thing that has ever happened to anyone ever. That’s how I felt when you came to my office, too.

He never texts her first. He likes knowing she chose to start it, that she wants it. That she’s lying in bed thinking about him. He keeps typing.

The thing is that my brother died. And that’s the only thing that ever happened to me, really.

He’s forty — okay, no, he’s not forty, but he feels like he ought to be forty — and he’s tried to have sex exactly twice before now, once with Jesper and once with Imogen and they were both so disastrous he tries not to think about it. But he’s forty or thirty or whatever and he’s coming to the end of his debt and he will take care of Rollins soon, soon, pull out the brick of Marya Van Eck and everything will crumble. And then he’ll just be — a professor, he supposes. A professor with a good salary who could get stupid nice small things and could have friends over for dinner and could have a girlfriend. Because why shouldn’t he? Except that there’s a gaping savage maw where his heart ought to be.

I do still want to fuck you. I bought some condoms. I imagined you putting one on me, like a horny sex ed class with Dr. Ghafa, and I’d be so hard in your hand.

He jerked off before she came, with the idea that he might last longer when she was actually there, and he doesn’t know if he can physically manage three in a night but his body seems interested in trying it.

He was never really a teenager, he thinks— he woke up in the hospital whatever thing he is now, which wasn’t a child and has maybe never been an adult — so maybe now he’s doing adolescence as a crash course, an intensive study in constant graceless horniness and short-sighted stupidity.

You’re never going to forgive me. I want you to. You shouldn’t. It’s just that I’m selfish. If you asked me I’ll say that it’s because I promised you but it’s really because I just want to be able to see you sometimes. I want to be able to give you things. I’m not going to send this. I just got so used to telling you things. You are so beautiful and I want you so much and I am so tired. I’m going to sleep. Sleep well, Inej. Come and talk to me.

He force-quits the chat application, drops the phone, and falls asleep. He dreams Inej smiles, bright and vicious and righteous, and tells him he did everything just right.

[otherone12]

Wait, Are You In A Band?! (part2)

Basement!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! Giving more Basement!Gee for u and using the idea @fangirlinc gave me, here is part 2 of this fic! And about the requests, i've been recieved a lot requests (and thanks so fucking much for each one!), but it's going to take me a while to write them. On my masterlist, you can see the order in which they will be published. I'm also giving preference to requests! Well, I hope you like it <3

Summary: Your boyfriend is the leader sing of a band, and his band's first show, unfortunally will be in the same moment as your cheer practice. A couple lies, a stage dive, and a bit of blood, made that moment memorable.

If you didn't read the 1st part, HERE it is.

- Word Count: 3.680

- Warnings: Blood!

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…-

Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

Reader’s 1st Person POV

Since that prom, that heated kiss, that dance, that moment that seemed like we were alone on that dance floor, Gerard and I started to date. 

We were by no means a conventional couple. He is a metalhead artist, with his leather jacket, black messy hair, faded band shirt, his talent and his amazing voice. And I'm a cheerleader who appreciates good music, with my high ponytail, skirt, pom poms and, just sometimes, band tees… 

In the beginning, I noticed the weird looks on the corridors when we walked holding hands. I didn’t care at all, but of course Gerard wasn’t used to the attention, and got adorably flustered every time.

Now, weeks later, we’re sitting on the floor for lunch as usual, laughing and talking like we always do. The sunlight streaming through the window highlights his features, but suddenly, his laughter fades. His smile turns shy, and there’s an edge of nervousness in his voice when he speaks.

- So… I was waiting to tell you in person… - the bit of insecurity creeped his voice when he said - My band… we are gonna play next sunday for the first time! Like, it is a small festival, and they are just gonna give us a beer after… but it's a beginning, right?

- Holy shit! - I almost screamed too loud, but his words reached me like a wave - Gee this is amazing! 

He didn’t respond at first, just stared at me with a shy smile, his face turning a bit red.

- You guys deserved this! You are awesome! - But my excitement was still bubbling inside of me - I can’t wait to be there, in the front row, screaming and cheering for you! 

- R-really? Uh, I mean… you’d really come cheer for us? - He rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers brushing through his messy black hair.

He didn't look confused, just a bit surprised by my enthusiasm.

- Of course! - My hand ment to his shoulder, and I nodded - I’m your girlfriend, it’s like an obligation. And the least I can do is be there for you. 

- I’m not used to people doing this… it’s kind of a new thing… - His awkward chuckle was the cutest thing ever - You are the best girlfriend ever… I mean, you are my first, but… uh…  you know what i mean and…

- Gee, i get it. Thank you - I say, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. - You are the best boyfriend ever.

His grin widens, but before we can savor the moment, the shrill ring of the bell snaps us back to reality.

Gerard stands first, then offers me his hand, helping me up.

- See you after school? - He asked, still holding my hand.

- Sorry, Gee… I have to practice today…- I sigh, hating to disappoint him - but hey, I text you when I'm at home, okay?

- Okay… - He pouts, squeezing my hand one last time before reluctantly heading off to class. 

 During practice, the only thing on my mind was Gerard on stage. I could practically see him, his messy black hair falling into his eyes, his voice raw with emotion as he sang his heart out. The first of a million performances, I was sure of it. The thought made me smile, even as I tried to focus on the routine. He deserved this, being himself, doing what he loved, without caring about the jerks who liked to mess with him.

But my daydream was shattered by my coach’s sharp voice cutting through the gym like a whip.

- Well, girls, we’re going to have extra practice on sunday. - At first, I thought I was listening wrong, but she wasn’t kidding - I wanna see all of you here, no excuses. 

Her words landed like a punch to my stomach.

My eyes widened, panic bubbling inside me. Sunday. Gerard’s first gig. My mind spun as I tried to piece together how I could possibly be in two places at once. There was no way I could miss his moment. I couldn’t.

Almost tripping over myself, I made a beeline for her, my thoughts racing as I fought to find the right words. My chest tightened, and I let out a shaky breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

- Uh… coach? -  I called, my voice a little too high-pitched as I approached her.

She turned, raising an eyebrow at me. I plastered on a hopeful smile, even though I felt like I was about to combust.

- I kind of have an extremely important commitment on sunday and-

- Look, this has to be perfect. You want to stay on the team, don’t you? - She was serious, I froze, nodding mechanically, my heart sinking.- Great. Then I will wait you here on sunday. Like I said, no excuses.

In desperation, I was about to start begging. I wanted to explain how much seeing my boyfriend on the stage was, and I’m not lying by saying that I’m one of the best cheerleaders of the team.

- But-

I started, but she cut me off. 

- No buts. You’re dismissed.

The whistle blew, signaling the end of practice, but my world felt like it had just been flipped upside down. As the other girls filed out, chatting and laughing, I stayed rooted in place, gripping my pom-poms like they were the only things keeping me together.

I can’t be in two places at the same time, but I can pretend I have an excuse she can't argue with. The moment I stepped at home, even before texting Gerard, I sent a message to my best friend.

Me: Heyy… So, I’ll need a huge favor on sunday…

Her: HII! What u need?

Me: Me: I can’t be at practice on sunday… I need you to cover me. Say to the coach that I am sick or something. 

Her: Y'know that coach isn’t dumb right?

Me: Ik but I kind of have no choice here.

Her: What is so important that will make you miss practicing and lie?!

Me: Gerard’s band is gonna be performing for the first time. I CAN’T LOSE IT!

Her: OMG! YOU TOTALLY NEED TO BE THERE!

Me: So, can I count on you?

Her: Just because I love you. But you owe me BIG TIME.

Me: Thank u! Love u 2 <3

Gerard’s 1st Person POV

I spent the next few days in a haze of nerves, unable to think about anything else. Nothing mattered except being perfect. No, absolutely perfect.

I sang the same songs over and over until the words didn’t even feel like words anymore, pacing around my room like a caged animal. My voice cracked, and every mistake sent a jolt of panic straight to my gut.

How can I not be nervous?

This is our first chance, our shot at being seen, and if I screw it up, what if we never get another one? The thought made my chest tighten, my breaths coming in shallow.

And then there was her. She’ll be there.

My stomach twisted at the thought of her standing in the crowd, watching me. Watching us. What if I mess up in front of her? What if she realizes I’m not as good as she thought I was, that I’m just some geek wannabe with a leather jacket?

I could almost see it: her face falling, the look of disappointment in her eyes. Maybe she’d finally notice all the other guys out there, guys who are cooler, more confident, better. Guys who deserve her way more than I do.

The spiral was relentless, like a storm in my head that wouldn’t let up no matter how hard I tried to shut it out. I kept telling myself, “You’re doing great. Everything’s gonna be fine.” I tried to believe it, but the words felt hollow, like they were bouncing off a wall I couldn’t break through.

“She loves you. She wouldn’t trade you for anyone, no matter how bad it gets.”

But even that wasn’t enough to stop the sinking feeling. What if I was wrong? What if I wasn’t enough for her? What if I mess it all up? 

I sat down on the edge of my bed, my heart was pounding, my palms were slick with sweat, and I felt like I might throw up at any moment.

- Pull it together, Gerard, - I muttered under my breath. But my voice wavered, even to my own ears. 

The show is tomorrow, and I will make this perfect. No matter what. If I have to do stage diving... that's a good idea actually.

Reader’s 1st Person POV

Finally the day arrived and I was excited, not just in a happy way of excitement, but I was afraid. Afraid that something could go wrong; afraid that my coach noticed that I was lying. My stomach was churning with that anxiety, but here I am, in front of the mirror, applying my eyeliner and getting ready to get out and meet Gerard at his house, where Mikey, Frank and Ray already were.

Didn’t take too long and I was there, too. My clothes are really different from the ones I used to wear at school. Nothing like my usual cheer uniform or the light academia outfits I wore. I was simply with one of Gerard’s faded band tees, my ripped jeans and boots. 

I rang the doorbell, and in one second Gerard opened the door. I could see how nervous he was, his shoulders were tense, and his smile hides his anxiety, even if it was really noticeable. 

- Hey, Gee! - Not waiting for his invitation, I hugged him tight, and his arms hung awkwardly by his side before he hugged me back. - So… today is the day, hum?

- Yeah… I-I guess so… - His voice above a whisper. 

- Don’t worry… - I backed off just enough to look in his eyes, I rested my hands on his chest as his stayed hesitantly on my waist - You’re gonna be perfect. 

- D-do you think so? - He furrowed, his voice shaking - I mean, what if-

- Gee, babe… I don’t think so. -  I cupped his face, my thumbs brushing his cheeks - I know so. 

He gave me a small smile, and I closed the space between us, kissing him, a quick pack, but enough to make his cheeks turn pink.

But the moment didn’t linger too much.

- Hey… not to interrupt the lovebirds here… - Mikey said, approaching - but we’ve got to go.

- Yeah, you are right… - Gerard blinked, snapping out of whatever trance he’d fallen into. He grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers as we headed to the car.

The drive was a blur, and before long, we arrived at the park where the festival was happening. The small stage was already buzzing with activity. Crowds of people milled about, grabbing food and beer from the stalls, while speakers blared music to set the mood. I felt Gerard’s hand squeeze mine, while he looked around, frozen in his place. His eyes wide and his breath was coughing in his throat.

- I-i don’t know if I can do this… - he muttered, his voice barely audible over the hum of the crowd. His eyes fixed to that stage - There’s so many people. And it hasn’t even started yet… I should go back home and-

- Hey… Look at me… - I stepped in front of him, holding his hands in mine. - You are amazing. I can’t think of any other guy who can rock a show like I know you can. You are so talented, and you rehearsed so many times… 

His wide, panic-filled eyes met mine, and my heart squeezed at the vulnerability there.

- But what if they didn’t like it? - His voice cracked, and the raw insecurity in it broke my heart. - If all these people thought I'm a joke?  

- Babe, your lyrics are fucking awesome, and you are the greatest singer i’ve ever met. - My gaze didn’t leave his, I gave him a confident smile and gripped his hands a little tighter, my voice steady but firm. - You are not a joke, Gerard. You have more passion than anyone in that crowd could ever dream of. And I’ll be here to scream for you, no matter what, okay?

He nodded, even if he was still trying to convince himself that I was right. He took a deep breath before looking back to that stage.

- I got this…

Gerard’s 1st Person POV

I will not lie here. I was about to throw up. My mind was racing and I could barely pay attention to the other bands who played before us. Before I noticed, we were all on the stage, Frank, Mikey and Ray setting their instruments as I looked for my girlfriend in the crowd. When our eyes finally met, I let out a breath that I didn't even realize that I was holding.  

The stage lights were blinding, hotter than I’d expected. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of my chest. The roar of the crowd… Well, it wasn’t a huge crowd, but it was big enough to send a shiver down my spine, buzzed in my ears, mingling with the feedback of the amps.

Mikey adjusted his bass strap while Frank fiddled with his guitar. Ray did the same… all of them looked calm and collected. How were they not losing their minds right now? My hands trembled as I gripped the microphone, and I forced myself to take a deep breath. You can do this, I thought, though my stomach was flipping like I’d just swallowed a swarm of bees.

I closed my eyes, feeling the sensation of the song on my ears. And before i noticed i was singing “Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us." like it was the most normal thing ever. When we played “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” I was already walking and jumping on the stage, just like I've dreamed of; like I practiced in my room; like I always imagined in the shower.

I caught glimpses of my girlfriend in the audience, her wide smile shining brighter than the stage lights. She was singing along, her hands raised high, and I swear it felt like she was holding me steady with her gaze.

And then came the moment I’d been thinking about all week.

I gripped the mic stand, leaning into it as the last notes of the previous song faded out. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath, but I couldn’t stop smiling.

- This next song… - I paused, my voice shaking just a little as I scanned the crowd until my eyes locked on her. - This one’s for my girlfriend.

Her face lit up while the crowd erupted. 

- This one’s called… - I smiled, just for her, even if everyone was staring… - ‘Demolition Lovers.’!

Frank started playing the opening riff, and the sound was enough to drown out the world. My voice was steady as I sang, but my heart felt like it was beating in sync with every word.

It was like the song had been written just for this moment. Every lyric felt sharper, more personal, and the emotions poured out of me like I was confessing something sacred. My eyes kept flicking back to her, and every time I saw her smiling, mouthing the words back at me, it was like the rest of the crowd disappeared.

By the time we hit the final note, I was a sweaty, breathless mess. The applause was loud, filling every corner of the park, and it felt like I could float off the stage.

But I wasn’t done yet.

Without thinking, I stepped forward, holding my arms out wide. Damn I felt like a real rockstar. 

For a few wild seconds, I was weightless, the hands of the crowd catching me and pushing me up. The adrenaline was a roar in my ears, louder than the cheers and laughter around me. My arms flailed as I tried to stay balanced, but I was grinning so hard my cheeks hurt.

And then, bam.

Someone’s elbow smacked square into my nose, and a sharp, hot pain exploded across my face.

- Fuck! - I yelped, but my voice was drowned out by the noise. My hand flew to my face, and when I pulled it back, there was blood smeared across my fingers.

The crowd was still moving me, oblivious to my minor injury, and I had no choice but to laugh. By the time they passed me back toward the stage, my nose was still throbbing, but I was too high on adrenaline to care.

Reader’s 1st Person POV

I was almost exploding when he finished “Demolition Lovers”. I didn’t care about my cheer team, didn’t care about my coach or about how out of the team I would be if she discovered. At that point, I just knew that I was supposed to be here, not anywhere else. 

I screamed, and when noticed, Gerard jumped on the crowd. I wasn't close enough to hold him, but I couldn't stop jumping and applauding while the crowd moved him like a wave.

But when he was back on the stage, something caught my attention. His nose. Was bleeding.

I don’t know what, but something in that made something inside of me shifted. I was worried, of course, I didn’t want him to get hurt. But I could help but keep staring with admiration. 

I don’t know if it was his confidence up on that stage, or just the way the red of his blood looked so pretty on his pale skin. His blood was almost shining on his face, dripping and meeting his lips… his face framed in locks of hair glued with sweat around his face, fire and amusement on his eyes… Damn he is so hot. 

I made my way to the backstage, passing through the crowd in an attempt to talk to him. I squeezed through the crowd and finally reached the band. The sound of clapping, shouting and laughter filled the atmosphere, both in the crowd and backstage.

- Gee! - I yelled, and he turned to face me.

Without thinking he runned to me, wrapping his arms around me. 

- You did it! - I said, still hugging him - You were perfect! I’m so proud of you!

My arms still wrapped around his neck, we parted just enough to look at each other. His hands holding my waist again, 

- I-i… I think I really rocked… - His smile was wide, but a bit shy - Thanks to you, cause if you didn’t encourage me, I’d probably never get to that stage.

- But… are you okay? Your nose… - I started, cupping his face. 

- I’m fine… just I got elbowed - He chuckled, whipping the blood on his nose. - But it was kinda nice, right?

- Are you kidding?! You made a fucking stage dive! This was more than just nice - My eyes wide and my smile grew even more - You are a rockstar, Gee. My rockstar.

His shy smile faltered for a second, replaced by something hungrier, something that made my heart pound harder. His hands tightened on my waist, pulling me closer, and his gaze flickered down to my lips.

I didn’t give him a chance to overthink it.

Grabbing the collar of his leather jacket, I yanked him forward, crashing my lips against his. He froze for a split second, probably startled by my boldness, but then he melted into me, his arms wrapping tighter around my waist as he kissed me back with everything he had.

The taste of him was intoxicating—salty sweat, a hint of metallic blood, and something unmistakably , his lips. The blood from his nose smeared against my lips, warm and sticky, and instead of recoiling, it only spurred me on.

My fingers tangled in the lapels of his jacket, holding him as close as possible while his hands roamed my back, pulling me flush against him. The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth grazing, breaths mingling, and I couldn’t get enough.

I pulled back just enough to catch my breath, my lips brushing against his as I spoke.

- You’re bleeding all over me, - I whispered, my voice teasing, but my eyes betrayed the heat still coursing through me.

He let out a breathless laugh, his forehead resting against mine. 

- Sorry… kinda messy, huh? - His cheeks were flushed, and his lips were stained with both blood and the remnants of our kiss.

- Messy suits you, - I said, my fingers tracing his jawline, smearing a little more blood in the process. I leaned in, biting his lower lip gently, and his sharp intake of breath sent a thrill down my spine.

- If I didn’t know you, I would say you’re enjoying that too much - he murmured, his voice rough and low, his hands gripping my hips like he needed to ground himself.

- Maybe I am - I replied, my lips brushing against his again.

I kissed him once more, slower this time but just as intense, savoring the way his body pressed into mine and how he clung to me like I was the only thing keeping him steady. The noise around us, cheering, laughing, the distant hum of the crowd, faded into the background. In this moment, it was just him and me, tangled together in the aftermath of his chaos.

When we finally pulled apart, his lips were swollen, his nose still dripping faintly, and he looked like he’d just stepped out of a dream, or a nightmare, depending on how you looked at it.

- You’re… unbelievable, - he muttered, his voice filled with awe, his thumb brushing over my cheek.

I smiled, breathless and exhilarated, wiping the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand and laughing when I saw the streak of red. 

- Guess we’ll both need to clean up after this.

- Worth it, - He said softly, his gaze locking with mine. And in his eyes, I saw it: the fire, the vulnerability, and the overwhelming gratitude that made my chest tighten in the best way.

- Come on, rockstar, - I whispered, taking his hand. - Let’s go celebrate.

And just like that, we went out to grab a beer, and I couldn't care less about my lie.

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- So, that's it! Hope u liked! <3

- Tag List: @bossiestbitch @mimilovesnumetal