#Which puts me in an awkward position because I do want to be more vocally in support of Palestine on here

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

You’re totally right Tumblr doesn’t manage the for you section. But this is so fucked up

https://www.tumblr.com/elitefourkylewantstobattle/732071926522167296

Typically when things like this happen on here it is because the post (and person) were mass-reported.

Reminder that my original owlvid blog was deleted because of fatphobic weirdos spam-reporting my blog when I was making posts about BMI being made by eugenicists who wanted to make Americans look more physically imposing to other countries and that many people classified as “morbidly obese” by the scale do not have high enough levels of body fat to actually impact their health, and that BMI and similar “ideal weight” metrics don’t take the weight of muscle into account and the weight loss trend has caused millions of people to develop eating disorders throughout the years.

A video like the one posted in the link you provided is going to be controversial because zionists won’t like it and the wording used in the video is unfortunately very easy to make look antisemitic. The section of the video where the speaker started saying “this percentage of Jews think they’re smarter and better than everyone” or whatever does align dangerously with a lot of antisemitic beliefs, so because he didn’t continue to say Israelis or Israeli Jews to speak against this nationalistic culture, it makes it extremely simple for zionists to point to that and spin the entire video as being lies and antisemitic propaganda. That leads to mass-reports against it.

I don’t doubt staff has Zionist sympathizers among them simply because staff is largely if not exclusively American and it is very difficult for people in this country to access accurate information about the Israel Palestine conflict because the government sponsors so much propaganda supporting Israel and against Arabs and Muslims in general, leading to a large amount of Americans drinking the koolaid and believing Israel to be justified. However, there is also a good chance that this person and the post were mass-reported and taken down automatically because staff doesn’t always back-check to ensure someone or their posts were actually dangerous if they reach a certain threshold of reports they just terminate everything.

[kesujo]

Chapter 12: The Cunning Rabbit and the Impressionable Hound - Part 3

Previous part here.

“You’ll really like this then.” Half of a deep breath was all Parker gave himself before tugging his boxers off. Out popped his mostly-erect dick, something he couldn’t help but notice was getting the attention of one of the cameras.

“Hm?” Parker wasn’t sure if Jessica was simply acting innocent or was actually clueless when opened her eyes to look at him. Even though her face was masked, she was still able to communicate excitement from seeing the stiff member tapping her upper thigh with a quick downward glance and a following glance upwards. “Oh, you—”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”

Parker guided his cock between her legs, having to bend his knees significantly to do so, but stopped short of putting it in. “Ah, please—”

Parker moved in tandem with Jessica, who attempted to buck her hips downwards as the tip brushed against her vaginal lips. “Nuh uh. You haven’t earned this dick yet.”

“Tommy…” the whine full of despair transformed into one of sexual impatience when Parker rubbed his length along her slit. “…oooh, oh fuck, it’s so hot…”

“You’re this wet, and we’ve barely started.”

‘The more talking, the better it’ll turn out. Many things can be overlooked if the silence is filled with talking.’

Following the advice from Carter was the driving force behind the constant stream of words coming out of his mouth, most of which were inspired directly by Jessica. Not that he’d ever admit it to her, of course.

“Any girl would after feeling that thick, veiny dick against her pussy.”

Parker didn’t respond, instead pushing the bulbous head of his penis into her. A shrill half-yelp half-moan erupted from Jessica’s vocal cords, but soon turned into another impatient whine as he pulled out before barely an inch entered her.

“What a nice voice you have, Mia. Perfect for when you’re screaming my name while I’m pounding with all 7 inches into your slutty little cunt.”

Parker really hoped Carter’s advice worked the way he was thinking it did, because the position he was in was pretty awkward: given their height difference, the only way to rub his dick against Jessica’s womanhood was to bend his knees significantly. The issue was made worse with how much Jessica parted her legs to give the camera a good view of the action, meaning Parker’s knees had to be bent at an almost ninety-degree-angle. Would his dirty talk cover up the awkwardness of their position? Was it even ‘good’ dirty talk? Parker could only hope it was.

“God, I want you inside me soo bad…”

The needy moan raising up and out of Jessica’s throat was definitely a confidence booster, even if Parker almost knew for a fact that it was exaggerated. “What do you mean? I am going inside you.”

Jessica let out another moan, stifling the moan that was coming out of his own mouth, as he pushed just the first inch into her, swiftly taking it out before she could take advantage of it. "M-More—” despite not being able to see his face, Parker presumed Jessica was able to sense his eyebrow raising as she stopped short of the pleading words, knowing how he’d react. “—I mean, th-thank you, you’re too kind…”

“Aren’t I?” He repeated the action a few more times, each time getting better and more impatient reactions from the needy, sexually frustrated woman, until she finally gave the signal to begin the next step.

“Don’t you want it?”

“What?”

Parker pausing gave Jessica the room to breathe, redirecting her gaze back at him. “I can feel how much your dick is throbbing, begging to release all its seed inside me, wanting to do nothing more than to breed me.”

That was her sign to go to the next step. It had to be.

Parker only responded with a growl, pulling away and turning her around, positioning his dick against the ass that was now facing him. “Make sure to hold that wall tight.” He split her butt cheeks as far as possible, letting the camera catch a glimpse of her glistening wet vaginal lips before pushing them aside with his cock. A soft groan came out his lips as the fleshy, moist walls of Jessica’s pussy clamped around his length, sinking further and further into her heat. “As tightly as your walls are squeezing my cock.”

Parker felt himself cringing at that one. Was Jessica ever going to let him live down all the cheesy things he’s said, and will say, for today’s shoot? He really had to make sure to hide the fact from her that it was her influence that allowed him to say these things so off-the-cuff.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

While the snug tightness and the blistering heat of her snatch was amazing, all Parker could think about was ignoring the camera that was focused on their connection. Not only did her tightness make it difficult, but so too did the self-conscious feeling of being filmed as well as the way he was entering her, pushing in his cock at an angle while pulling her ass as far apart as possible so that the camera could capture the penetration. Not that Parker really watched much porn, but he gained a whole new level of respect for porn actors for having to have sex like this.

“On your right.”

A feminine voice whispered the warning to him before a frail pair of arms appeared in front of him. Replacing the sight of his cock slowly but surely disappearing between her plump ass cheeks was a handheld camera pointing at it.

‘How comfortable are you with controlling the camera yourself, Mister Parker?’

‘Hm?’ Because it was mostly Jessica and Carter speaking, having a question directed at him caught Parker off-guard. ‘Oh, um, I can try. Why?’

‘Perfect! We’ll be sure to inform you when it’s about to happen, but having a top-down view of the coitus is an easy money shot to include in the final product.’

‘Oh, ok.’ If that’s how it was, Parker felt almost obliged to concur; after all, they needed all the easy money shots they could take. ‘In that case, yeah, I’d be down to do it.’

‘Excellent! When we hand you the handheld camera, Mister Parker, if the position calls for it, we will replace your hands with a pair of hands covered with green gloves—’

‘Actually—’ Jessica’s interruption caught Carter’s attention, who immediately stopped to direct his smiling gaze towards her. ‘—sorry, but actually, if it involves someone else touching me, could we go with another option?’

So, Jessica was willing to strip down to her birthday suit in front of a stranger and fuck in the presence of a crowd of people she didn’t know, but someone else touching her was off limits? Words Tiffany spoken during their last meeting came back to him: ‘You can’t call yourself a slut when the only other person you’ve had sex with since the start of your relationship with Hunter is in this room!’ Parker remembered being caught off-guard with this statement as well, but it at least was consistent with Jessica’s request just now. It seemed like, despite being as “adventurous” as she was, she was pretty loyal. Or maybe loyal wasn’t the exact word—maybe something like “picky”?

‘Oh, certainly! In that case, we’ll simply have one of my crew film the top-down shots. I will apologize in advance, Mister Parker, for encroaching into your private space and hope it is not too distracting.’

‘No worries.’

Since the camerawoman had to adjust the LCD screen of the handheld camera so that she could see it from her position, Parker’s view was essentially completely restricted. All he had to go off was feel and the few bits he could see from around the camera and her hands and arms, which luckily was enough.

Jessica, noticing the slight change in Parker’s movements, turned her head back to confirm the cause: the curtain of black hair and the bird mask on her face hid her facial expressions, but Jessica could tell how enamored with Parker’s dick she became all the same. But who could blame her? Parker’s dick was incredibly captivating, as beautiful as it was big.

Still, something about the sight arose within her a need to gloat. Thankfully, she was in the perfect position to do exactly that.

“Ooh, your massive cock is tearing my slutty pussy apart so much…” It wasn’t like she was saying these things just to gloat. The pleasure from the monster of a cock that was entering her probably would’ve been enough as it was, but the empowering feeling of knowing how jealous the camerawoman was of her made it all the easier for the words to come out of her mouth. “It’s so big—” the effects of her dirty talk were clearly starting to even affect the camerawoman, whose hands started to shake ever so slightly. Jessica allowed a satisfied grin to appear on her lips, as it was hidden from the camera—one of which, she noticed, was focused on her swaying tits—anyway. “—ooh yeah, destroy my naughty little cunt~”

“Don’t expect to be able to hop away next morning by the time I’m done with you.”

The words, with a slight growl mixed in, while cheesy, turned Jessica on even more. “What makes you think I’d even want to?” Even more arousing than Parker’s dirty talk was the deepened breathes she noticed the camerawoman taking. That’s right. I get to be fucked this cock while all you can do is watch.

Parker could feel how much more aroused Jessica was becoming with how much tighter she was becoming, but he stopped himself short of saying it. After all, it was most likely due to the fact that they were fucking in front of everyone, and mentioning them in the shoot wasn’t very well something he could say lest he break the fourth wall.

The camera lingered a bit longer before Parker was finally given full vision of Jessica again, which he took advantage of by hastening the pace of his entering her. Parker noticed Jessica lifting herself onto the balls of her toes, and as much as he appreciated it, it only slightly helped the awkward downward angle he had to thrust at.

“Fuck, oh god, there’s so much…”

Despite everything: their circumstance, the cameras and crew members all over the place, the bright lights and the self-consciousness, Jessica’s albeit slightly exaggerated moaning still turned him on. The emphatic way she fed the camera eye-candy and the mics ear-candy definitely made it easier for Parker to get into it. “How badly do you want it?”

“Tommy—” Parker pressed his cock against her walls, just so happening to align with a sweet spot and eliciting a moan from Jessica.

“Huh, you little slut?”

“I need you, all of you, so badly it hurts! Please—”

“All of me?” Parker stopped pushing in to push the tip of his dick against her walls, eliciting another explosive moan from her. “Hm, I don’t know if you can handle it with how fucking tight you are.”

“I can! Shove everything you have left inside me!”

“I see you don’t have a very good sense of self-preservation for a rabbit.”

Jessica could tell Parker was trying really hard to play up to the role he was cast in, and that made her appreciate him all the more. She was honestly extremely grateful that Parker was as good of a sport as he was and let her do all these things she wanted to try with him. Although a part of her still felt guilty for blackmailing him into getting used to, as he put it, ‘her antics’, a larger part of her was thankful that Parker was now more accepting of them, which was clearly shown in how hard Parker was trying for this shoot. And, knowing that turned her on so much more.

“Nng, shit!”

Her back arched, the camera making sure to catch the vigorous bouncing of her assets as the hilting maneuver sent an electric shock up and down her spine. The tension in her nethers tightened, the feeling of her vaginal walls being torn open by Parker’s monster and her butt cheeks being parted not by Parker’s cock but his hands … the warmth—the heat—and the snugness and the fullness skyrocketed that ecstatic feeling welling up inside her, amplified by what had to be the jealous gaze of the onlooking crew members.

As much as Jessica wanted to just lose herself and completely drown in ecstasy, she knew she had to keep her promise to guide him through this. Which was a shame because Jessica was starting to feel like Parker had a proper handle on things as it was, but it quickly became apparent that wasn’t the case as, after half a minute of grinding against her sheathed to the hilt inside her, he started thrusting inside her for the next minute or two. And as crazy it made Jessica, and as much as Jessica wanted to just relish in that feeling, and as much as she wanted to continue flaunting the fact that she had access to Parker’s amazing dick to everyone else, she knew the simple in-and-out motion wasn’t enough for the camera—and, frankly, for herself, too.

“Is that really all you’ve got?”

Parker wasn’t going particularly fast or hard, and most of the reason was a mechanical one: his hands were busy pushing apart Jessica’s bountiful bottom apart for the camera, which was recording their hot connection from the side and downwards. Despite the amount of times Carter emphasized their comfort and doing what was comfortable as opposed to sexy for the camera, Parker couldn’t help but be a little conscious about it: in fact, while Jessica and Carter were talking, Parker did some quick research on his phone for tips to use.

And, while Parker recognized the challenging question as Jessica fulfilling her promise of guiding him through this, he wasn’t sure how capable he was of following through.

“Mister Tommy, while the camera crew very much appreciates all the effort you are putting in to give them good shots, please do not prioritize that over attending to Miss Mia as best you can. If it helps, pretend none of us are here, and you and your beautiful girlfriend are doing some normal, bedside roleplay.”

That was the greenlight Parker needed to respond to Jessica with, “You think you can handle more?”

“What? Are you scared?”

“Careful, little rabbit.” This time, the growl that he intended to follow up with his warning died in his throat, his self-consciousness getting the better of him. After all, if Carter wanted him to be more comfortable, that also included that kind of stuff he was playing up, right?

“Does my pussy feel so good that you’re afraid you’ll cum right away if you fuck me any harder?”

Parker stopped, his hands migrating away from her romp and around to her hips. “It’s just—” well, he couldn’t very well say that the thing inhibiting him was playing up the fucking to the camera. What could he say? One slight squeeze of her hips that caused his fingers to start to feel her hipbone gave him the answer he needed. “—I didn’t want to break you—” oh wait, wasn’t he now slipping out of his role as Jessica’s ‘predator’? He shouldn’t be as caring as he was about to present himself. “—the spoils of my hunt, before I could fully enjoy it.”

“Look at you, poor little puppy,” she cooed, barely able to hide the strain in her voice as she grinded against his crotch, “too afraid to ravage his prey because he’s afraid he’ll finish before his prey does.”

“If you want it so badly—” This was very clearly the direction Jessica was trying to take this. This was the ‘proper’ response. Right? Admittedly, Parker was back to forcing himself a bit, but this kind of forcing himself was a great deal easier than what he was doing before. “—I’ll make you cum so hard, you forget your name.”

From the first stroke, in which Parker withdrew nearly two-thirds of his cock before slamming it back inside her, Jessica could tell that her egging—or rather, her instructions masked as egging—worked. “Oh, fuck—”

“You wanted—” another thrust, another explosive moan erupting from Jessica’s throat, “—me to—” another thrust, empowered further by the additional grip he employed on her hips, “—fuck you like—” as he ramped his speed up, Jessica could start to feel her tits swaying even more wildly than before. “—this?” She was sure the camera was catching them, but she couldn’t be sure; her eyes were currently rolled to the back of her head, lips parted, a noise that sat somewhere between a moan and a scream erupting from her vocal cords as each thrust pounded into her the pleasure of Parker’s cock that she had grown to love over the weeks and months.

“Yes! More, harder!” When it soon became evident that Parker hadn’t interpreted the words the way she wanted to, she tried again. “Is that all you can do?”

Pairing the taunting words with a playful shake of her ass communicated everything Parker needed to reply with a, “You never let me just be nice to you, do you?” He paused briefly, grabbing a handful of her plump bottom with both hands, letting the camera capture it before letting it go and watching it jiggle. He then followed it up with a prompt smack, the impact of his palm causing the fat to jiggle for a second longer.

“Yes! Fuck, yes!”

After repeating the motion a few times, the escalating moans and encouraging words built to a point where Parker wasn’t sure if Jessica was just saying ‘more!’ for the camera or if she was trying to push him into going further. Considering they were shooting a porno though, and also considering it was Jessica, the weary man figured it was better safe than sorry, or rather more intense than not, and replaced the slapping of her ass with pushing two of his digits into her currently unoccupied hole.

At that point, Parker was so focused on Jessica and the cameras that he had completely forgotten about everything else; although Jessica never stopped singing for their audience, Parker had completely clammed up, but the tradeoff was more focused and intense effort. When a third finger entered her ass, Jessica was already nearing her climax, so close to the edge she could almost feel that orgasmic rush of dopamine and oxytocin surging through her veins.

Parker was running into a separate issue, however. Don’t stay on the same thing, keep switching it up—that was the thought process that was fueling him. But there wasn’t anywhere further to go now that he was three fingers and seven-and-a-half inches deep inside Jessica, was there? Her backdoor was already suffocatingly tight as it was, so adding more fingers was out of the question. Then, what should he do?

One glance upwards gave him the answer he needed: out of the corner of his eyes, as he trained his gaze on the back of Jessica’s head, hair tousling back and forth in synch with his thrusts, he just barely made out the swaying motion of her tits.

But was it going to ruin the line of sight of the cameras?

Parker stopped himself short of that thought process, reminding himself to not worry about the camera, as Carter mentioned. He leaned forward, transitioning from the pistoning motion he was doing to more of a grinding motion, his hands wrapping around Jessica’s stick-like arms that were somehow seamlessly transferring the force of his thrusts into the wall all the same. “Look at how busy these bunnies are, shaking around so much to get my attention,” Parker said after finally remembering to speak, this time in a lower tone being that his mouth was closer to her ear. It was only after he said those words that he remembered he shouldn’t be talking like that and hoped the audio would compensate for him.

“They are really eager to play. Cute, aren’t they? Do you like them?”

“Well,” Parker made sure to project a little more this time, grabbing handfuls of her bountiful bosom, his fingers sinking right into the plush texture of her tits as he squeezed them, “if they want to play so bad, who am I to deny them?”

As his hands were busy elsewhere, keeping up the rhythmic pumping he was doing before became more difficult; he noticed Jessica was starting to help by rocking back and forth to match his pace, but the slapping of wet skin on wet skin diminished significantly. In place of that was Parker kneading and rolling the softness on her chest with his fingers and palms, something he figured was much more camera-friendly.

“Mmm, just because they’re my bunnies doesn’t mean you have to be scared to play rough~”

Parker bit back a grimace—he was still being too self-conscious of the cameras and the presence of everyone else in general. He could actually start to feel sweat starting to form on his forehead, although he wasn’t sure if it was from the lightning, the many bodies in a relatively confined space, or the physically intensive activity he was currently doing.

“What kind of a mom is ok with a stranger playing rough with her kids? And you wanted me to give you some more?”

“They’re mine, I can take th—oh, fuck!”

“You like that, huh?” After having spent the entire time teasing her areola by rubbing his knuckles around the sensitive area but never touching the teat, Parker had built ample suspense in Jessica that was released all at once when he suddenly pinched the hardened nub. “You love getting railed from behind while having your nipples squeezed?”

“Tommy, fuck—”

This time, Jessica was interrupted by the door next to them suddenly opening. It was only then that Parker suddenly remembered the setting of the shoot, how they were supposedly in the hallway next to a room full of bustling partying people, and couldn’t help but tense at the sight of a couple emerging from the opened door and walking out of it, albeit away from them. While it seemed like they weren’t paying any mind to himself and Jessica, the reaction to the sudden interruption was still felt on Parker; Jessica’s pussy tightened, causing a light grimace to appear on Parker’s face that was thankfully covered by his mask.

Was that a part of the script Carter went over when he wasn’t paying attention?

It took a while for Parker to recover from the shock, and it was Jessica who helped him snap out of it by lightly pushing against him with her rear.

“You got tighter from that, you horny, nympho rabbit. You really get that aroused at the fear of getting caught, and even more when you do get caught, do you?”

Jessica nodded fervently, back arched and head thrown back more than before, grinding against his groin with more fervor. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it—”

“But we don’t want to be interrupted again, do we?”

As exposed he felt fucking in such an open area despite this being a shoot, the biggest reason Parker was hoping Jessica would agree to moving was how much his thighs were burning from maintaining the awkward position for so long. He also remembered Carter mentioning how they had a bedroom set prepared if they wanted to use it, and at that moment, Parker wanted nothing more than to relieve his legs with the help of a soft mattress.

“No, we don’t.”

Parker could hear the hesitation in Jessica’s voice and felt all sorts of relief when she ended up agreeing.

“Mister Tommy, if you are able, would you mind carrying Miss Mia like that to the bedroom, still attached?”

While Parker could feel Jessica’s reaction to the suggestion, Parker took a little longer to answer. However, his next words weren’t directed to the director, but to his partner. “And, knowing how much of a hopeless slut you are, I bet you don’t’ want to be separated from my cock for even one second.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

As innocent as Jessica was trying to portray herself, Parker could feel her arousal spiking; her pussy started to clench around his dick so tightly that he nearly let out a wince. “Let me show you.” Taking a second to bend down and another to brace, his hands captured the back of her knee and lifted her light frame straight up.

“Oh!” It took Parker another few seconds to get accustomed to the increased strength Jessica’s pussy squeezed his cock with, making sure his grip of her was secure enough before beginning to walk. “Oh my god—” Parker tried his best to not look at the cameras capturing the view around them, of Jessica’s legs lifted and spread apart in the air and bent at around shoulder-level by his hands in a V-formation, the view of Parker’s cock wedged deep inside Jessica’s core as he walked being the focal point of one of the cameras. “—fuck, Tommy—”

While his thighs were now being relieved of their strenuous duty, it was now his arms that were beginning to struggle; not only did the position make it awkward to walk, both because of the additional weight and his limited visibility, but also because of how slowly he was walking. As much as he would’ve loved to just sprint to the bedroom, that wasn’t a possibility for two reasons: one, slowing down his pace was the best way to ensure his balance of Jessica was as steady as possible, and two, he figured a slower pace was what was best for the cameras.

“—oh god, you’re hitting so deep inside me!”

Thankfully, the walk to the bedroom was a short one; even as light as Jessica was, holding her in that awkward position proved to be as strenuous as he remembered it being with Tiffany. When he dumped Jessica onto the bed, the downward momentum caused them to detach, earning a whimper from the horny woman.

“You really can’t be separated from my cock for more than one second, can you?” he asked, throwing the black deep V-neck shirt he was wearing to the side.

Jessica lifted her head, adamantly shaking it at him. “Why are you all the way over there? Come here, it’s getting lonely already…”

God, why did Jessica have to sound like a wounded animal while saying those words? And why did they turn him on so much?

Parker sat down on the bed, almost having to fight off a Jessica who was clambering to get in his lap. “Wait.” Parker wasn’t actually feeling impatient or frustrated at Jessica interfering with him attempting to get into position, but he hoped that emotion came through in his words. However convincing it was though, Jessica immediately obeyed, sitting patiently between his legs as Parker laid down on the mattress. “Ok. Knock yourself out.”

Jessica let out an excited squeal, turning around and mounting him in a reverse-cowgirl position. It wasn’t much later that she had taken all seven-and-a-half inches inside her, and not much later after that she started riding him.

“Ooh, fuck, it’s so good~”

All Parker could do was match Jessica’s fervor, his hands tightening around her waist for additional leverage to slam the entire weight of her body back down on his dick after reaching the apex of each bounce. When he saw one of the cameras that were focusing on him near him, Parker started to wonder what was happening in the corner of his mind, a question which was promptly answered by a brief, whispered, “Excuse me, do you mind?”

Parker, realizing the cameraman was asking permission to shoot another POV shot, nodded. He moved his hands to her ass and spread the plump cheeks apart as the handheld camera came into view, pointing directly at their connection. This time, however, the LCD screen was pointed directly at him, giving Parker a view of the juicy ass that was bouncing up and down his dick from the other side of a camera’s lens.

“How is that shot?”

Parker gave the cameraman a nod, given a thanks, and continued holding the camera there for a few more seconds before pulling away.

As much as Jessica wildly riding him was stimulating him, that brief interaction reversed some of that work. It was weird enough to be fucking in the presence of so many people and so many cameras, but to talk directly to one of the camera operators was even more strange. Not to say that Parker really faulted the cameraman for doing what he did, as it did seem to be the best course of action … he just hoped they got another money shot from it.

No matter how wild Jessica got, she still maintained good posture, her back straightened and her hands planted firmly on his legs as she bounced up and down on his lap. And, he had to admit, Jessica looked damn good while doing so; even from before her and Hunter moved next door to him, Parker had always regarded Jessica as one of the most photogenic people he knew, and that photogenic quality was being put on full display for the cameras of the porno shoot. It wasn’t much later that Parker could feel his climax approaching.

‘Regarding the cum shot; Miss Jessica, how would you like to do it?’

‘Oh! I had my tubes tied, so we can do that inside if that works best for everyone.’

Carter nodded. ‘Generally, for these kinds of shoots, we prefer not to enhance the cum shot by artificial means, so I believe doing so inside would produce the best results while sticking to our guns, so to speak, of staying relatively amateur-ish. Are you ok with this, Mister Parker?’

Jessica grinned and bumped her shoulder with his before he could answer. ‘I th-What?’

‘He won’t have a problem with it, he’s had plenty of practice cumming inside me already.’

Parker rolled his eyes, feeling the tips of his ears burning a bit at that. ‘Jess—Honey, you’re lathering it on a little thick, aren’t you? Save it for the shoot.’

‘Oh, like how you’re going to lather my pussy with your thick, creamy cum?’

‘J-Babe, Carter’s right there.’

To that, Jessica only giggled. ‘I know.’

Parker stared at Jessica’s smiling visage for a few more moments with a perplexed expression before turning back to Carter to say, ‘No, I don’t mind. Sorry, please excuse my Jessica for that, she gets a little excited sometimes.’

‘Oh! No worries at all! Seeing the beautiful couple getting along so well bodes well for today’s shoot!’

“You wanted to be impregnated, didn’t you?”

“Ooh god, yes!”

The wet sounds of her ass slapping against his damp groin was growing louder and louder as Parker neared the edge. Was it drowning out his words? Surely not, right?

“You wanted to feel me pumping your womb full with my seed?”

“Please! Yes, god yes!”

But the closer he got to his climax, the more self-conscious and hesitant he became. Carter made sure to tell him to not worry about the optics of the cum shot, as the money shot for shooting it inside came after the orgasm and not during, but Parker couldn’t help but think about it all the same.

“Give it to me! Give it all to me! Fill me with your thick, creamy seed! Breed me!”

Parker cleared his head of those thoughts. He didn’t need to worry about that; all he needed to focus on was Jessica. A few more thrusts and a few more grunts later, the tension in his nethers exploded outwards, the resulting stream of cum shooting straight into the sterile womb of the rabbit-mask wearing woman. As much as she was already drenching his cock with her juices, feeling the orgasming cock shuddering deep within her heat pushed herself over the edge as well.

“Oh god, fuck, it’s so hot—”

Honestly, Parker didn’t know how Jessica was able to go on for so long using that type of language and still sound so sexy while doing so, but he was thankful for it regardless because it meant all Parker had to do was to ride out his orgasm. When it subsided, a satisfied moan and sigh came out of both Jessica and Parker, respectively.

Just when Parker was thanking his lucky stars that it was all finally over, Carter shouted another set of instructions. “One more thing; I’m sorry Mister Tommy, but do you mind taking the camera and getting a closeup of the finished product?”

He could hear Jessica giggling at that but didn’t mind it, nodding and accepting the handheld camera being handed to him from the side. After that, a final shot was taken of the viscous fluid leaking out of her bruised and battered hole before the shoot wrapped up. The two of them thanked everyone, Jessica with much more gusto than Parker, with the crew shouting ‘Thank you’s and ‘Good job!’s back before they started making their way back to the screening room that had their normal clothes.

“It’s a shame we have to give that shirt back, babe,” Jessica noted, nodding at the shirt Parker had put back on, “It makes your abs look so juicy.”

“Juicy? Is that a good thing?”

She laughed at that. “Of course! Looking at it just makes me want to eat it all up.”

Jessica, for whatever reason, elected to not put her outfit back on, walking hand-in-hand with Parker back to the screening room with her top still pushed above her boobs and her bejeweled shorts in her other hand. After changing back to the clothes they arrived in, Carter entered the room.

“Oh my goodness, the beautiful couple did spectacular!” Parker couldn’t tell what part of the emphatic way he said that was the person he was and how much of it was playing it up for his ‘customers’, or whatever they were to his business, but he appreciated it all the same. It sounded so genuine that Parker felt he had no choice but to feel like his concerns were unfounded. “Oh, and Mister Parker and Miss Jessica may take off the masks now.” To that sentence, Parker breathed a sigh of relief, reaching around his head to slip the string attaching the dog mask off his face. Jessica followed suit, both masks ending up on the table separating them and Carter. “Everything is looking wonderful, we will just be doing some editing and will probably release the finished version in a week or two. Did Miss Jessica, or Mister Parker, want the link to the video when it does?”

“Ooh, yes please! You have my email, right?”

Carter nodding, beaming at Jessica. “Yes! No problem, I will send the link over when it is ready. Be cautious however, because we will be masking the link in an email that might appear to be spam, so please check your incoming emails carefully.” Seeing Jessica nod in understanding, he continued, “That was the first thing I wanted to come over here for. The second thing was to offer the bonus.”

“Oh! You hear that, babe? Told you~”

While the two sat in the room waiting for Carter, Parker told Jessica of his concerns about the video, all of which were dismissed by Jessica. Seeing the grin on her face made Parker break out into a smile of his own. “Yeah yeah, I got it.”

“I have an excellent feeling about how this one will turn out; many thanks to Mister Parker for complying with all the directions I provided. I hope it wasn’t as terrible as you initially thought?”

To be frank, it was just as embarrassing and nerve-wracking as he thought it would be, but after he got into the swing of things, it became less so. Focusing on the cameras and lasering his attention in on Jessica definitely helped alleviate some of that embarrassment and nervousness, but still, the amount of relief Parker felt after finally being able to put underwear back on was something he never thought he’d feel. “It was … ok. I’m just glad it’s over, honestly.”

The room boomed with Carter’s hearty laughter. “I see. If it makes you feel any better, I believe you performed amazingly next to your beautiful girlfriend.”

Carter let them go a short while after, but as they took the elevator down, another gnawing feeling of anxiousness he knew he would feel was reignited. It was when they stepped out of the elevator that Parker piped up. “Hey, what would you do if someone you knew ever found that video?”

“Hm?” Jessica said, turning to him.

“I mean … wouldn’t that be really awkward? And it would be pretty obvious that the other person wasn’t Hunter, right?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. The chances that video being watched by a friend or something out of all the porn that exists in the world is slim to none. And even if they did, I doubt they would be able to tell; I’ve seen some of that studio’s other work, and they even modulate the voices of their actors and actresses.”

“Yeah, but … I mean, I doubt my parents watch any porn, but if they somehow find that video…” The thought alone was to start draining the color from Parker’s face.

“But, like, how would they find it? A friend of theirs who does watch porn sending it to them?”

Parker could only chuckle at the thought. “I don’t know. A friend of a friend, or maybe a son or something.” Turning to see the nonchalant on Jessica’s face made him continue, “What about you? What about your parents?”

Jessica shrugged. “They’re not the type of people to even associate with people who watch porn. But even if they somehow do find it, I couldn’t really care less what they think of it, or me.”

Parker kicked himself. The topic of her parents always seemed like a sore subject to Jessica with how infrequently she talked about them, but the jerk reaction to the thought of his own parents finding that video caused him to forget that. He remembered back to the day of Hunter and Jessica’s wedding, how in the place of Jessica’s parents sat a man who was later introduced to be the professor who advised her when she was in graduate school.

“I see. Sorry to hear that.”

Hearing Parker’s dejected response, Jessica turned to him and bumped his shoulder. “Hey, don’t be like that. It’s fine, it’s all behind me anyway.”

“Oh. Ok.”

Seeing as that barely affected him, Jessica decided to switch subjects while they climbed into Parker’s car. “Hey, there’s this girl I know from my childhood that I think would really get along well with you. Do you wanna meet her?”

Parker gave Jessica a cautious look after pulling out of the parking spot before responding with, “Um, sure?”

“Great! Ooh, she’ll love you, I’m sure of it.”

Parker didn’t really know what to make of that. After all, not everything about Jessica was sexual, was it?

“Oh, by the way, thanks for agreeing to carry me like how you carried Tiffany the other day.”

Jessica giggled at the sight of Parker’s face falling; she could’ve sworn she could almost see the mental facepalm he was doing. “Uh, no prob—actually—” admitting this was against his competitive nature, but if it meant Jessica would finally stop trying to one-up herself with her crazy antics, he figured it was worth throwing away his pride and admitting defeat, “—you ended up, what did you call it? ‘Soiling’ me or something?”

To his dismay, Jessica shook her head. “You have to take initiative on me and do everything on your own accord. I could tell how much you were forcing it—which I super appreciate, by the way—”

“Mmhm…”

“—but that doesn’t constitute as ‘soiling’ you, at least in my book. When the day comes that you fuck me like that because you want to is the day that I’ll consider that mission a success.”

Despite everything, Parker couldn’t help but sigh in relief. The help he earned with Tiffany from Jessica aside, he was thankful he gained at least one positive from all of this, as he was sure that day would never come.

Hmm, something about Jessica’s parents, and something about another girl Jessica wants to introduce to Parker? 🤔

Next chapter here.

[purple-crusader]

SOOO IT'S TIME!!! Stephcass Week is here!! I'm both excited and scared since this is the first time I'm posting my writing online and idk how people may respond.

There was no beta reader and English is not my first language, so you may correct me if you notice anything wrong. I'm gonna focus on one prompt per day, because writing all fourteen would be too much.

Anyway I hope you enjoy 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

STEPHCASS WEEK Day 1: Sparring

Word count: 1,014

@stephcassweek

Stephanie looked at her in complete awe sometimes. All her moves seemed both perfectly calculated and graceful, like a ballerina's (she should definitely try that some day). She knew exactly when to expect the enemy to punch, so she could dodge it. She was the one leading in a fight, proloning it sometimes so that it looked like a dance or just a play between her and the opponent. Ever since she joined the family, she begun to shape the way she fought into something embedded with grace. She didn't want to take down enemies from the get-go, hit them in their weakest spots, even if she could perfectly locate them. That's what she was trained for in her childhood by her father, to be a weapon of death. But she turned out to be much more, a true person and her fighting style could also be a vessel to show that.

There was something soothing and stimulating for Steph in the way Cassandra fought. To an extent that at times she would just look at her during trainings with other members of the family. She trained most with Dick, wiping the floor with him by the end of their 'dance', but that never really discouraged him. She trained with the blonde's boyfriend Tim sometimes, especially now, since his father made him give up the Robin mantle. It didn't stop him from coming down to the Bat-Cave and developing his fighting skills through Cass, if he couldn't do it on the rooftops. She saw her fight with Batman once, she almost thought he would win, but it was all part of Cass' plan.

She didn't ever volunteer to fight with her herself though. If anyone asked her why, she would say that she's just not as good. You might say that no one was on Cass' level, but her brothers at least trained for years, while she was just starting her Bat-training, so she stood out. Subconsciously though, Steph felt... overwhelmed? She couldn't quite put a finger on it. Cass was just amazing at everything. She was a great fighter, had a beautiful body, a fast lerner, incredibly resilient. Steph would get clumsy around her sometimes, not really sure what to say. Or she would stare at her during her training like at the moment...

Steph was taken out of her numb state, as Cass put Tim down on the mat and then looked at her and waved. A little blush got onto the girl's face, hoping the other one didn't notice how long she was observing her (she totally did), but she waved back. In response Cass did the hand move indicating she wanted the other woman to join her on the mat.

"W-what? Me? Pfft, oh- come on, Cassie! What am I gonna do to you?" Steph started, "Just look at what you did to Boyfriend Wonder, I'm gonna end up a puddle." She let out a forced laugh. "'m totally fine..." Tim muttered from his splattered position on the ground.

"I'll be gentle." Cass signed. She was learning to speak quite fast for a seventeen year old who was never taught that, but she preffered that form of communication sometimes. "Well shit." Steph thought to herself. "You only die once." She went to the mat, as Tim managed to get himself off it. She tried to take on some kung-fu fighting stance, that she would see in those Bruce Lee movies that she liked to copy so much, but she got kinda wobbly and it turned out awkward. Cass chuckled happily at that.

"I lead or do you?" Cass said it vocally this time. "I do?" Steph said unconvinced and the other girl nodded. The blonde decided to start with a simple punch to get things in motion, that Cass unsurprisingly dodged. Steph moved quickly to not lose her from sight, which went surprisingly well. Maybe she really was going easy on her. She tried to reach her with another punch, then a kick, a low kick, but Batgirl dodged them all. Finally the dark-haired woman caught Steph's fist and then moved her hand to the blonde's wrist. It caught the girl off guard and before she saw it, Cass pulled her closer trying to catch her. She couldn't let that happen.

The women begun moving around each other, throwing punches, dodging them, parring, pulling closer. Steph was too focused on the thing to notice Cass started the whole "dance with her enemy" thing with her. They moved graciously and in sync, as if they done that a thousand times before.

Eventually Cass must've lost herself in the little game she orchestrated, as Steph pulled a move that Tim taught her, that would put Cass to the ground. The girl took the control back from her blonde opponent and she ended up laying on top of her after their ill-considered crash on the mat.

"You OK?" Cass asked her opponent with some worry in her voice, when she saw Steph was laying completely still. Meanwhile in Steph's head a hundred different emotions were mixing at the same time, which resulted in a feeling as if a ton of butterflies scattered around her body. When she realized she was like that a good few seconds she pulled herself from the floor as fast as possible.

"I'M FINE! I'm great! Wow! Oh my God. It was amazing! We're so good at this! We must do that more often, huh." Steph was shooting words at a speed which has been a bit too fast for Cassandra, but she was glad her colleague was alright. She gently smiled at her and the butterflies came back to Steph's body.

"Welll... I'm gonna just... Go find Tim maybe... Or shower. Or shower with Tim- or no, not shower with Tim- anyway I need to go, catch you later!" And Steph left her sparring partner in the training hall. As she was walking through the corridor she calmed herself down and got her mind working properly again. One thought was left in her head.

What just happened?

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Yet again I hope you enjoyed it and see you in the next days!!

[666writingcafe]

Preparation

Levi

Wow. Diavolo's just as bad as the rest of us, isn't he? I mean, literally jumping out of his office window to escape the Devildom and visit MC...that certainly wasn't on my bingo card for this year.

In any case, we do need to locate him. He's known to cause chaos whenever he's left unsupervised, and while I'd love to see a video of him go viral, I know Lucifer wouldn't, and I really don't want to sit through one of his lectures.

Thankfully, I have just the thing that might help.

"This is Crowe," I tell MC, putting the black cylinder in their hands.

"I didn't know you had a smart speaker," MC replies as they examine Crowe.

"I won him at an auction. Apparently he's a prototype. He's created by the Three-Legged Crow Group, the same company that sells D.D.D.'s. As long as someone has one of their phones, Crowe can track their location. All you have to do is ask."

"Sounds simple enough. Hopefully Diavolo has his phone on him." With that, MC asks Crowe to locate our missing prince.

"Lord Diavolo is located at The Drunk Hyena," it answers. "Would you like me to provide the address?"

"Yes." After hearing the address, MC appears shocked.

"Everything okay?" I ask them.

"I had no idea they had a location in the human world." I shrug, trying to hide my surprise. Clubbing doesn't really seem like MC's thing. Then again, Asmo is prone to dragging people to clubs, so who knows?

"The owners must have bought the building and created a portal. That sort of thing happens all the time." I pause. "Still doesn't explain why Diavolo would be there, though. It's the middle of the day."

"Perhaps it was the safest way for him to get here. People tend to not ask a lot of questions at clubs." That's true, I suppose. They're too caught up in whatever or whoever it is they're doing to notice anything outside their bubble.

At that moment, MC's phone rings.

"Good timing," they mutter as they pull it out and answer it. They tell the person on the other end that they're going to put them on speaker before positioning their phone so that it's between us.

"Who's in the room with you?" Oh shit. It's Diavolo.

"Just me," I reply. Diavolo breathes a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness. I was afraid it might have been someone else. I've been meaning to talk to you about that anime you recommended to me a few months ago. It's really good."

During my quest to manage my social anxiety, I discovered that one of my online friends was actually none other than Diavolo himself, which was weird, because I "met" him on a pretty unknown online RPG, one that only the most devoted members of the gaming community knew about.

As it turns out, Diavolo's secretly a huge gaming nerd. I don't know how he finds the time, since his duties as prince require the majority of his attention, but somehow he's up-to-date on the latest news in the gaming world.

It was definitely awkward at first when I found out, but then I realized that Diavolo just wanted someone he could geek out with. It's not like Lucifer or Barbatos would; neither one of them are particularly interested in video games.

"Diavolo, what sort of trouble did you get yourself into?" MC asks before he has the opportunity to start rambling. I don't have to look at his face to know that he's blushing.

"Well, I may have gotten stuck."

"Are we talking tight space, or something cursed?"

"The latter." He sounds like someone who got caught stealing. "This place has a cursed karaoke room where you can't leave until you get a perfect score on the machine's vocal accuracy challenge."

"So, why haven't you participated?" Silence. "Diavolo, is this a ploy to get me to join you?" More silence. Then,

"Maaaybe." As Asmo would say, he's definitely down bad.

And somehow I'm fine with that. It's weird, I know, especially since I wouldn't have been fine before. I would have been tearing myself down as I holed myself up in my room, because there was no way I could compete with someone like Diavolo for someone's affection.

That's not the case now. I can't really explain why I feel calm; I just do.

"You know MC can't come by themselves, right?" I ask. "You know who would throw a fit if they did." Diavolo sighs.

"Yeah, I do. Doesn't make any sense to me, but whatever. He can feel how he wants." He pauses. "Ask the others if they want to tag along. We can at least make something fun out of the situation."

[fanfic-inator795]

Why I love Ansel Beauregard

I originally wrote this a couple months back - back when Michael was still making my Ansel plush and was curious about both the movie he came from and why I liked Ansel so much, whiiiich led to me just kinda going on a page-long rant asdfghjkl. I wasn't originally going to post this on Tumblr but screw it, it's Arlo's anniversary and I still have ATAB/Ansel brainrot so: Enjoy!

Beyond his really great and really charming design (love characters with big wings) and vocal performance (really want his VA, Vincent Rodriguez III, to do more animated musicals now. Like- seriously put this man in the next SING movie or something), what really grabbed me about Ansel is that he’s just such a flawed but still really fascinating and fun character.

I feel like his introduction scene does a good job of demonstrating this, as even when you see him denying his fatherhood and struggling with both his guilt and his hidden truth, he still goes out of his way to help Arlo. Yes it’s done in a somewhat shallow way and he gives him some pretty terrible advice… but it’s also the only advice Ansel knows - advice that is self-taught and that he truly believes is in Arlo’s best interest, because he himself believes that the only way to survive and thrive in a cruel world is to hide the flaws, change yourself and be ‘better’ than what you are. (Though, even if it is a bit harsher in retrospect given Arlo’s heartbreak afterwards, the song itself is still a bop, ngl)

My friend who originally recommended this movie to me (thanks again Toondandy) pointed out how Ansel’s story is very much one of assimilation - how, for as successful and rich as he ended up, hiding and changing himself to fit the mold of ‘normal’ not only negatively affected him (his so-called high society ‘friends’ only cared about his money, as seen in the Met Gala scene, and he himself admitted he was lonely despite his success, not to mention all the pressure that comes with constantly trying to hide your true self) but also put him in a position to potentially continue perpetuating the societal cycle of hurting and rejecting others who are just like him (like abandoning baby Arlo or like how he was going to gentrify Seaside, both for petty revenge against his childhood bullies and because he thought it was the best option - because ‘beautiful’ is ‘better’). 

Additionally, because he’s so focused on and weighed down by his own hang-ups, I don’t think Ansel fully realized just how much he was harming ‘not-normal’ people like Arlo and Arlo’s friends (people like himself) until he saw not only how far Arlo was going to go to learn the truth but also just how much he’d hurt Arlo/put him in danger by continuing to reject him, which is what finally pushes him to confront his fear, guilt and self-shame. (Sidepoint: I really REALLY love the double-shadow imagery that goes along with Ansel’s “what have I become?” line. It’s simple but still really effective).

But yeah, it makes sense that him growing up bullied then isolated and then becoming crazy rich at a young age made him more than a little oblivious and out of touch (though these parts of his personality are still funny/endearing instead of being annoying imo) but what keeps him a positive character even when he’s at his ‘worst’ and most selfish/self-conscious is that he still genuinely cares and I really do love the interactions he has with Arlo.

Beyond all the juicy character drama stuff, there’s a lot of fun aspects I like about Ansel too. I like how, for as flawed as he is, he isn’t your typical rich jerk that you see in a lot of cartoons and can still be a bit goofy and flamboyant at times (his song “Better Life” is a perfect example of this). I also really like all his bird-like mannerisms and how awkward and skittish he can be at times too, that’s also really endearing imo. And I also love how even with all his flaws, he tries to make up for them, even if it took him a while to fully own up to his mistakes.

Finally, I love the subtle foreshadowing to him being a bird-man (him saying things like “like a phoenix” and “my perch” during his song, the bird logo on his piano, and the feather he gives Arlo are some examples). His subtle similarities with Arlo - like a love of music/singing and the shared desire to find a community of sorts (even if they both went about it in totally different ways) - are also fun character details ^v^ plus hearing them harmonize in “Something’s Missing” is just SO GOOD!

So yeah... Lots of things I like about this character ^v^

[zuzsenpai]

Deep dive into my personal thoughts on determining if I am autistic. Feel free to read or not read, but please refrain from dismissive language. I'm just trying to get this stuff written down and posted, because often that's cathartic for me. TW for negativity, mentions of mental illness, and verbal/emotional abuse.

I’ve been seriously considering the idea that I’m autistic for a little over a year now (probably longer if I’m being honest), though a conversation with a good friend yesterday sparked an interest in putting everything into writing. This past year was exceptionally bad as far as mental health is concerned, and I generally assumed depression and anxiety were responsible for a lot of my issues getting worse. And that’s definitely true. But as I thought about myself and became more aware of certain traits I have and things I do and say and think outside of just a depression standpoint, I kept wondering if I’ve been framing some things wrong for years. I had always assumed that certain things I do are “wrong” and “bad” because they’re caused by depression. When in fact they might be features of myself that can be reframed and understood better and I can learn to accept them. I’ve been wondering if getting screened for autism might be useful for me. I still don’t know. A lot of the things I’m about to list sound really negative. But I want to learn how to love myself and take care of myself so that positivity can come out of this.

So anyway, here are some things I do or think that, if I get screened for autism or at least dip my toes into the community, I might be able to understand more clearly. Not all of these are signs of autism, and some can absolutely be attributed to depression or self esteem issues, which I do have. But I want to get all of this down anyway.

Social anxiety. I have a lot of it. Always have, though I tended to mask it better in school. In my 30s, I’m not forced to interact with people outside of work, so my social anxiety has only gotten worse. I’m god awful at social interactions with almost everyone. Especially in-person social interactions (online is easier, though I tend to not have much to say in online conversations). Very close friends and immediate family are the only people I feel I can speak to properly, but even then I get nervous and have to really think before I say something. I think very carefully before every social interaction, and ponder them constantly afterwards. I tend to cancel plans VERY frequently if I feel like I can’t handle being around more people than just my close friends or immediate family. And when I am with new people, I fret constantly about being perceived as awkward. Which brings me to…

I have a deep fear of being perceived as awkward or weird. Of being recognized as someone who can’t communicate normally. I feel like an alien wandering around at all times. Everything I say sounds awkward coming from my mouth. Speaking leads to embarrassment. I sit in a room filled with extended family and all I can think of is how I can seem “normal” without having to talk to them. Because of this, I have become hyperaware of visual cues/facial cues/reactions of other people around me when I’m near them or speaking to them. I always thought that “recognizing social cues” meant that I couldn’t have autism. But I think in this case, I may have just worked extra hard to notice people’s reactions because of the fear of being perceived as different. I trained myself, if that makes sense. Though sometimes I realize too late that I actually said something weird, and I stress about it for weeks. Which brings me to…

I vocal stim. Because of my horrible fear of being perceived as awkward, I tend to replay social interactions in my head over and over for days and weeks after they happen. My brain does this thing where the moment I start to think about an awkward interaction, I immediately and involuntarily say a specific word out loud. It doesn’t happen in public while I’m in the situations, but it does happen every time I think about them afterwards, usually when I’m alone. This is a frequent, daily occurrence. I think of the vocal stim as trying to help me stop thinking about the thing, or reminding me that I’m thinking about it in the first place. When I hear myself say the word, I inwardly cringe for a moment, then try to refocus on something else. The word has changed a couple times over the years, but it’s usually the name of a fictional character I really like at the time.

I know this one will sound more like severe depression, but… My executive dysfunction is bad. REAL BAD. I have entire rooms of my house filled with garbage and junk because I can’t take a single step to clean and sort. Even the idea of taking a small step is stressful for me. Organization is a huge challenge. Starting any kind of task that involves cleaning or organizing gets me confused and anxious. And often even fun hobby tasks seem impossible to start or do, because my brain constantly tells me I don’t actually want to do them.

Also I space out and can’t focus when someone, like my mom, is talking to me. She complains that I don’t listen to details when she’s talking and she claims I “do it on purpose to spite her”. When in reality, I do it without thinking. It causes poor memory issues. One specific and horrible example is from last Christmas. My mom said she wanted new pot holders for Christmas— a specific kind that aren’t “mittens” and don’t include silicone grips, but instead are made of really thick fabric. She told me this a couple times, but for some reason I couldn’t process the details, or I immediately forgot them because I didn’t write them down. I eventually told my sibling that she could get the pot holders for my mom and I would get her something else on her list. But I neglected to tell my sibling any of the details of what my mom wanted. So my sibling got her really nice, big silicone grip oven mitts. When my mom opened them, she immediately said: “this isn’t what I wanted. Kristin I told you exactly what I wanted a dozen times. Did you seriously not listen? Why don’t you listen to me?” So in essence, I had completely ruined my sibling’s gift to my mom. I broke down and started sobbing. On Christmas. In front of my family. At age 35. My mom got really angry and told me I was crying on purpose to get sympathy, and that there’s no excuse for not listening to her, and that I’m being spiteful. I tried to explain to my family that lately I’ve been feeling like my brain doesn’t work properly. I don’t know if they really “got it”. It was AWFUL. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. Anyway… on to other things…

When I get a new project at work, I have to ask a lot of questions and talk it out for a while with my manager (who is very patient), pretty much every time. Just takes a while to process things. I spiral a little if I don’t have all the facts of a project right away. And speaking of not processing, please do not ask me to play a card or board game with a zillion rules. My brain shuts down. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it and I get stressed when someone invites me to play a game I’ve never played before.

I often take things people say too seriously, or it takes me a while to process what they are joking about with enough time to respond properly. I work extremely hard to mask this. I do understand sarcasm and jokes, but often I don’t know how to react to them. For instance, I have an uncle (Uncle Mike) who is notorious for saying incomprehensible shit and making inscrutable jokes about people (I’m sure you can guess that he is NOT my favorite relative). I was with him the other day, along with another uncle (Uncle Dave) who I hadn’t seen in years. My dad said something like “oh everybody’s gone through a lot of dog drama this year”. Which is true, though I personally don’t have a dog and did not have “dog drama”. Uncle Mike turned to Uncle Dave and just said offhandedly “Oh don’t bring the dog drama up around Kristin.” The comment made zero sense and I didn’t recognize it as a bizarre joke right away (he didn’t even know my cat was sick). So I felt the need to defend myself to my other uncle. I turned to Uncle Dave and said “well no, I don’t have dog drama but I do have cat drama. My cat was sick and had surgery, but he’s doing a lot better now.” Then I kind of went off on a tangent explaining the cat’s surgery. My Uncle in turn had no idea how to react to this. So I felt extremely awkward afterwards and sat there quietly contemplating how fucking awkward I am and how I can’t take a joke (even when the jokes are inscrutable). Anyway.

I get VERY overstimulated and anxious when my parents force me to come with them to local hockey games (they love going). I despise it. The competitiveness, the angry fans, the tension, the fighting on the ice… it’s awful. It sounds weird and counterintuitive, but I’m able to distract myself with the advertisements on the digital screens and the Jumbotron. But actually watching the game? Can’t do it. Serious overstimulation.

I have physical tics. I’ve cycled through different ones over the years— digging my fingernail into my palm, licking my lips, torso and neck twisting… etc.

I eat the same food every day. Takes A LOT to get me to branch out. I’m really picky. There are foods (like cheese, garlic, and fish) that just the idea of eating them makes me physically ill. I’ve actually puked from smelling mac & cheese and garlic pretzels cooking in the oven. I don’t have food texture issues, but I’m hypersensitive to taste and smell. I gag ALL the time when trying new foods, so I tend to avoid them.

I do hyperfixate on occasion. It’s not particularly extreme, but it does occur. Especially when I am too burnt out to do anything else, I find a single thing I really like doing at the time and become consumed by doing that one thing that makes me happy. Whether it’s writing fanfic for days on end or editing Digimon BGM or identifying bugs, I tend to ignore other tasks in favor of that one thing.

And finally, the suspected autistic burnout, which I am experiencing right now. I went through a VERY stressful August with my cat needing emergency surgery and his anxiety-inducing recovery. During that time and since then, my brain has been completely unable to start or focus on ANY task. I mindlessly scroll tumblr wishing I could do anything other than that, but feeling anxiety when I try. I’m exhausted. Everything makes me exhausted. Existing makes me mentally and physically exhausted. I’ve been really withdrawn.

Anyway, in general, I’ve always felt that I didn’t have traits that would get me diagnosed as autistic. And there’s a good chance I won’t be diagnosed. But I do have some traits. Maybe? My problem is fear of not being accepted and understood, because people in my life will think I’m “too old to be diagnosed” or “exaggerating” or “just have depression”. I have a childhood friend who got diagnosed a few years ago. When she told her mom she had autism, her mom was insulted, angry, and dismissive. Her mom brought out the “is it my fault? Was I a bad mother? There’s no way my child has autism” cards. Knowing my own mother and how she reacts to anything I tell her about myself, she would do the same thing. She would tell me I’m over-exaggerating and making stuff up in my head. And having my mom be insulted by my autism is a deep fear, because when she says dismissive things, they tend to burn into my mind for eternity. Like when I was 21 and she told me “don’t think you’re gay just because your friends are gay.” GOD that was a bad one. That one line held me back from understanding my sexuality for well over a decade, and it still haunts the back of my mind. I can’t imagine what her dismissing me as neurodivergent would do. The fight and guilt tripping and dismissiveness it would cause would be outrageously terrible for my mental health. My mom is staunchly anti-psychiatry, so I guess I will never EVER tell her. Maybe her acceptance wouldn’t make me feel better anyway.

But other people’s acceptances— the people who truly matter— might be what I’m looking for. I don’t know what to make of anything I just wrote down. I said a lot of things about myself… and it would be nice to frame some of them more positively, and to work on certain things with a better knowledge of who I am.

[coyotepawsteps]

my genderqueer autistic ass having an epiphany about my general dislike for vcing (voice chatting) while in the middle of watching neurodivergent & queer tiktok compilations

usually i’m pretty okay with & prefer being in vcs with people who talk while i stay muted, and most of the time i just say that i “don’t really like talking in vcs” without elaborating on that too much but like. i’m gonna spend some time using tumblr as a way to put actual words to a lot of the deeper reasons for this feeling that i’m starting to notice! bc who am i if not a little autistic creature who wants to infodump to people except it’s a lot more comfortable to do so using a platform that feels more like a personal journal than a social media site!! i write all this for myself but i also want it to be in a space where other people can see it, relate to it, share their own experiences, etc.!

(and, with that mention of people sharing their own experiences, please feel free to reply to or reblog this with some of your own thoughts or experiences on this topic, because i’m genuinely curious how other people feel about this kind of thing!!)

i feel insecure about the way i perceive my voice as “too feminine”, i want to present online as a vague gender-fucky creature most of the time but i feel like people hearing my voice will ruin that kind of presentation. after listening to some of those “this is my voice [timeframe] on t” clips, i kinda realized that if my voice was deeper — something more neutral, or vaguely “boyish” but not exactly — this specific bullet point wouldn’t be much of a problem anymore

again a point specifically about my voice itself — i don’t think that i can really regulate the..i guess emotion in my voice? sometimes i speak completely flat monotone, sometimes i feel like i talk in a tone that doesn’t properly convey my current emotions or fit the situation, sometimes i feel like i can be way too hyper-expressive especially when i’m like. feeling really positively, like if i’m happy or excited or laughing at something. i also feel like i talk more high pitched in those latter situations which doesn’t help with the vocal-based gender dysphoria

i frequently describe myself as socially awkward. i am kinda bad when it comes to having conversations with people. there isn’t really any time at all to like, properly process what the other person has said & then reply to it accordingly while having vocal conversations, most of the time you just gotta wing it and hope you get it right. texting is a lot easier for me because then i do have that time to process what was said, and think of how to respond to it, and i have time to reread my response (and change it if need be) before sending it

this is something that i do sometimes mention in my original “i just don’t like talking in vcs” statement to people (just not with this much level of detail & explanation to it) — i feel like i express myself a lot better through writing/texting/messaging than i do speaking. ties in a lot with my emotional regulation/tone of voice bullet point; i express emotions a lot better through textual means. if i’m particularly hyper or expressing strong emotions like anger, excitement, joy, etc. then i usually write in all-caps and type fast enough that i make frequent typos. same thing for if i’m laughing at/about something i find really funny, plus with an add-on of keysmashing (there’s no good vocal equivalent to a really good keysmash). emojis and/or emoticons are really nice to use for conveying emotion wordlessly (some personal usage examples: 😭 for laughing or sometimes genuine sadness/upset depending on the situation; 😂 is also good for laughing/amusement [although i go through cycles of how often i actually use it; some times it’ll often be the only emoji i use for laughing, others i use the sobbing one a lot more and almost never touch this one, and others i rely more on text emoticons or abbreviations]; my most common emoticons are xD, :D, :), and :( with some variations depending on circumstance [e.g. >:) for a more “devilish”/mischievous use]; and, though they aren’t exactly emojis or emoticons, i frequently use abbreviations like “lmao” and “lol” interchangeably with them, with lmao being for actual strong amusement and lol being like a more toned-down “ha ha” kinda thing.) there is, of course, also the bonus of tone-tags being an option in textual conversation, although i don’t tend to use them too frequently unless i’m aware that something i’m saying could be taken in the wrong way by the other person (e.g. if i’m saying something i really mean, i won’t really use tone-tags for it, like if i’m telling a friend “i like playing games with you”; but if i’m joking around with someone while using a flat tone — like a message without any emoji usage, caps, purposeful typos, etc. — i will usually use tone-tags there, for example “i hate you so much /j”)

[jazzhandsmcleg]

tomorrow is my last day at my current job, which was only ever a three-year contracted position. I don't yet have anything else lined up to replace it, and it's not for lack of trying. in fact, I'm waiting to hear from one place to see if they want to interview me, and waiting to hear from another place who said they'd make a decision this week. but I don't know what's coming next. if not one of those two places -- and in fact even if it is the second place; it doesn't pay a whole lot and I have a shiny new car loan to pay off -- I'm going to have to go out and get a retail job or two while I wait for my professional prospects to improve. story of my generation, right?

I've done that before. I don't really want to do it again, but I'll do it if I have to and it'll be fine.

work the last few days have been odd. I've been trying to wrap up one last project, and the deadline of "Friday" has really put me in the zone. I blink and ninety minutes have gone by. blink again and it's lunch time. lunch today was odd, too. my boss ordered in pizza and a salad and all of us commandeered the lunchroom and shot the shit for almost an hour, aka almost twice as long as our government-mandated lunch breaks. I often get weird about eating with people and COVID is always more or less a concern, so I've never actually eaten with any of my coworkers before. they gave me a card, cleverly done up to look like a governmental record. even the people I've seldom interacted with, even the lady who I suspect doesn't really like me very much, added a nice thing or two to it.

tomorrow I'm taking a cake and some popcorn for everyone to eat, as a little reciprocal goodbye gift. if it weren't for that and for the project I have to finish tomorrow (and, well, for the eight hours of vacation pay transferred to cash I'd be giving up), I'd be tempted to just call out tomorrow and go out without any awkward goodbyes. but it'd be kind of rude to do that to my coworkers, who are a pretty good bunch of people. but I'm not ready to leave. but I've been ready to leave for at least a year and a half at this point. but I've known when I was going to be leaving, at the absolute latest, since the day I was hired.

you know a place after three years, you know? it matters in the way all things do after three years. it's weird to think, I will likely never see these people again. it's a bit of a relief. it's a bit sad. after three years, it's mostly just weird.

I'm so tired. I'm a little glad I evidently don't have anything lined up, because it means I get to take next week to "do nothing"...by which I mean I will clean and apply for retail jobs that I hope will hire me even though I haven't done customer service since 2019 and tackle some home projects I've been putting off and cook and. life goes on.

I'm so tired. I drove home today in an exhausted fugue, my mind stretched out and my back sore from craning over papers all day. I sat down to do my budget before I make the cake, and found myself dissatisfied with all my music. I made a new station on Pandora -- well, technically pianobar -- that spun off from The War on Drugs, and got Under the Pressure, eight and a half minutes of serious, dreamy guitar and solo tenor vocals, with a little brass on the side.

under the pressure indeed.

I opened up realtor.com instead of my budget spreadsheet and started looking at pictures of pretty houses in my area. they're all still out of my price range for the foreseeable future, and it's odd because today I can't even imagine myself living in any of those houses. all of my problems would just be there with me instead of here. is that realization maturity?

life sure does go on.

[sunskate]

tw: sexual assault, abuse

Ashley Wagner IG stories May 4, 2023 about USFS hiring Kelsey Parker Gislason as their Senior Manager of High Performance Management

Hello hello, I have some figure skating tea, which is usually my least favorite kind of tea because it means someone's being bad for no good reason. Now it can be really awkward for me to talk about things in figure skating because I work in the sport and really do want to maintain a positive relationship so that I get hired to do things and people want to be around me. But goddammit it is so hard sometimes. Okay, so let's get into it -

So post-Olympic cycle it's super common to see a lot of movement in administration. You will have staff leave because they've been super burned out, and they'll move onto other jobs. There's just a lot of shuffling going on. So it's not a surprise that we've been seeing this kind of movement. It happens every single Olympic cycle. And I genuinely don't care about the hiring process of US Figure Skating- I'm not that emotionally invested in it. But there's a lot of opportunity to move this organization forward toward a culture of safeety that is informed by the needs that so many athletes have been bringing up. But why would we do that? Why would we use this opportunity to grow when we could just repeat things and do them the same way we've always done them.

I'm going to explain why this is so complicated: so, first part of it that's complex. This person is related to a top official withing our organization and so US Figure Skating loves to hire people they know, which I completely understand. Skating is such a small insular community, so of course like a little bit of that nepotism is going to exist. It's inevitable. Not that many people know about skating. But skating can be learned. It's such an oportunity to bring in a fresh perspective. Someone to be like, tha'ts kind of weird how you guys do that. We need more people to challenge us on this culture because it's so normalized, and it's JUST NOT NORMAL. So that is the first issue here.

The second issue, and the one that really affects me, which is why I'm talking about this in the first place is that around the time that women including myself were coming forward with our experiences of sexual assault with John Coughlin, this individual was extremely vocal against the truth of our experiences, and I want to make it clear that in this position, this person is now a mandatory reporter. And I'm sorry if my trust has been compromised in this person's ability to believe survivors and approach this and many of these delicate situations of sexual assault with any ounce of respect, dignity or appropriate care.

Now I don't believe that she is directly really the root of the issue here. I believe that people are absolutely allowed to continue to remember positive experiences and still have positive things to say about him. I don't expect my experience to completely negate every positive memory someone may have, and I don't want it to. I just want to point out that people are complex, and there absolutely is room for duality in the good and bad of what makes a person who they are. That's all I'm asking for, and so I really don't think that she is the issue here. She is absolutely allowed to believe whatever she wants to believe. But as soon as you put that out on social media, you should become unhirable for certain positions. And when this was one of the more profound scandals that has happened within an organization in the last decade, I think you should be hiring mindfully. And this just feels like one of the first things you would look into, or something you would consider

So this is a long winded way of just being like, what are we doing here? I feel like myself, I went to this organization, pointed out flaws, said I will work with you before I come out with my story so that we're in this together, and we can help make this better. And now what??

It just makes me feel like a lack of care in my experience and that it's years down the road so it doesn't matter as much anymore. But it affects me every single day. And you know, this individual has never approached me and apologized for publicly doing what she did. And I don't need her apology, but it's just a very loud and clear message from an organization that continues to not validate the experiences of the people that have been hurt because of it. And it's just the same $@#%& day.

[fallinfl0wers]

hello!! c: I loved prompt 18 and so I was wondering if you could write something with childe, diluc and kaeya ​​(separately) where your s/o is very excited for the date that was arranged, the reader gets dressed and puts on his/her best clothes, but then after waiting a long time for her partner, she realizes that he won't show up. Maybe after returning home find the character sleeping or doing something else? angst/hurt with comfort attempt pls? 😭

When he stands you up, and then apologizes

summary: you had both agreed to this date, you even planned it on advance so that it wouldn't interfere with his schedule together! ...so why isn't he here? includes: childe (19 bullet points), diluc (21 bullet points), kaeya (19 bullet points) format: bulletted headcanons + small dialogues warnings: reader being stood up, also i think this turned out to be really gender neutral? i think i didn't really use gendered words... thank you for your request! i hope you like it >< i'm still not very good at writing kaeya, so i hope this was okay;;

Diluc

Truth be told, you were already expecting this to happen. Deep down.

But that didn't make it hurt any less.

You both had planned it with months of anticipation, too. He promised you he'd be here.

But here you were, coming back home after being stood up. You had waited for him for hours, and he never showed up.

So you were back at the winery, and he wasn't even there. The maids told you he had to attend... some business outside.

Just great, you thought as you entered your shared, empty room and put on some more comfortable clothing. He forgot about it.

When Diluc gets home late at night and goes to your room, he's greeted with you snacking on some cookies and reading a novel.

"Love?" "Oh, you're finally home. Hi."

Diluc feels guilty. The reason why he hadn't gone to your date was because he had received yet another threatening letter from the abyss order and had to take care of that as soon as possible.

It really wasn't his intention to stand you up!

Even if you know about his vigilante duties, he feels hesitant on telling you this.

He feels like it sounds like an excuse even if it isn't and he has proof.

So he kneels down next to the bed while you keep giving him the cold shoulder, hurt, yet trying not to show it to him.

"I'm sorry, love. I really am. I promise you this will be the last time something like this happens. Please let me make it up to you."

And making it up he does.

For the rest of the month, he clears his schedule as much as possible to spend time with you.

Whatever you want to get or do, he will get or do.

You want to eat your favorite cake? He'll get the maids to bake it for you.

You want to visit Liyue, you say? He can take you there and get you anything that catches your attention, from a simple dish to the most expensive of jewerly and outfits you could want.

He's awkward with his words, but even then he tries for you and tells you how precious you are to him, how much he loves you and how sorry he still is he sometimes can't spoil you and spend time with you how you deserve.

More than anything, though, he spends quality time with you and does acts of service for you besides the multiple gifts (since you probably rejected a lot of his offers to get you things). That's how he tries to make it all up to you.

He promises he'll be more careful from now on.

And he kept that promise, since in the next big date you organized, he was there an hour early with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, waiting for you.

You were never stood up again.

Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax

Normally, you wouldn't blame him or be too hurt when this kind of thing happens.

You understand he has a very important position within the Fatui and that means he can be sent on important, urgent missions at any time and he can't complain or go against his orders.

You respect his work, you get it and all.

But this time what hurt you the most wasn't being stood up, it was the fact that he didn't show up the next day, or the next, or the next, or the next after that.

He practically disappeared for two months without any notice and without sending any kind of letter or message.

A lot of the usual agents you'd see working at the bank and you knew worked under his command weren't there, and the few who were had no clue where he went.

You were both angry, hurt and worried sick.

You waited, and waited, and kept on waiting.

And the night he finally came back home, fortunately unharmed, you literally tackled him with a hug with tears in your eyes.

"Uwah, you missed me that much~? Wait- it's not the time for this! I'm- I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry I couldn't go to our date that day, it really wasn't my intention to-" "S-shut up! I- Do you know how worried I was?!"

He was thinking about your date the whole time he was away on that long, long mission.

Ajax can be a lot of things, most of which are bad things, but he would NEVER break a promise.

So he feels extremely guilty for breaking that one promise he had with you :(

If you thought Diluc could start to get overwhelming with gifts and attention, you have yet to see what Childe is willing to do to earn your forgiveness.

You WILL be treated like royalty, whether you want to or not.

He will spoil you rotten with everything he can. Food, gifts, travels, physical affection, adventures, theatre plays, concerts, art works, books-

Say the word and he will give you whatever you want. No need to hold back! He loves spoiling you, don't feel guilty for anything.

Hell, he would even let you beat him up without defending himself if you were really that mad at him.

"Okay, do you remember what we say in Snezhnaya about pinkie promises? If we break one, we can be thrown in the ice. Do you want us to go to Dragonspine so you can throw me in the ice or something?!" "A-ajax, we don't need to go that far!!" Or maybe you do, hmm...

Overall he's very apologetic and feels a bit disappointed in himself.

He never wants to break your trust, so he will make sure this won't happen again!

Kaeya

The Cavalry Captain is a very busy person, even if it sometimes doesn't look like it.

You know it, you've known it from the very start.

But it doesn't make it any less humilliating or painful to leave on your own after waiting for him for hours just for him not to show up at all.

You go back home and, after having cried for a while, you go to sleep on your own, locking the door from inside and keeping the key with you.

So when Kaeya went back home, he couldn't enter the room to sleep.

This man literally forgot about your date, sorry.

He just got so busy early in the day- he was practically overworked the entire day and couldn't get out to go to your date.

In fact, he was so tired at the moment that he feel asleep the moment he sat down on the couch.

So the apology would wait until tomorrow, when you would finally get out from the room to have breakfast.

You saw no glimpse of him, and assumed he just wasn't home right now.

But as you were making breakfast for yourself, he appeared seemingly out of nowhere and hugged you from behind.

"Hello there, darling... I'm sorry for yesterday, I suddenly got all this work piled upon me. I know, I know it sounds like an excuse but I swear it isn't. I'm just- I'm sorry, sweetheart, I really am."

He goes on to explain everything that happened to him the day before and apoogize over and over again.

He feels so sorry :( He was so stressed and overworked, it really just skipped over his head.

He asks you how would you want him to make it up to you.

He will do about everything you want, no matter what it is.

He, too, would let you hit him for a while if you were feeling mad enough to do it.

He's going to be practically glued to you for the rest of the week- or even the next month if he can!!

He will get very touchy and vocal about it too... Overall, Kaeya is going to be really clingy with you.

You might need to tell him to stop if it gets overwhelming, otherwise, he's going to keep on doing it!

[phoenixyfriend]

Quinlan and the Interdimensional Ingenues (except not really)

Context: SW Suddenly Omegaverse AU (Original Post), Interior Design (Nesting Divots), Chrono Rating: T+ Relationships: Anakin & Obi-Wan, Quinlan/Obi-Wan

This is like 90% cuddles and scenting that’s a few steps to the side of a/b/o standard. There is a lot of non-sexual licking. It’s a little odd, but I’m assuming that’s what you’re here for. It’s also over 5k words, so, you know. There’s that.

Note: “Ternary” is to the number three as “binary” is to the number two. Binary gender/sex refers to IRL male/female distinctions, and ternary refers to alpha/beta/omega. Gender and sex are much more complicated than is touched on in this particular fic, and trans identities exist within both the binary system and the ternary system. (More notes at end.)

-----

“Sorry to tell you this,” Quinlan says, sliding into the room as quickly as he can, “but we can smell omega distress from several rooms down the hall. What the hell is going on?”

“We’ve having a lot of feelings,” Kenobi says drily. He’s on the couch, looking damnably normal, and Skywalker’s got his face shoved into his master’s neck. Kenobi’s fingers card through the curls, and it’s... well, it would be easy to tell which of them was having said feelings even if Quinlan hadn’t already been able to tell them apart in scent.

“I’m distraught,” Skywalker moans, mushing himself somehow closer.

Kenobi’s eyes go to the ceiling, and he visibly prays to the Force for patience. “I know, Anakin.”

“You think I’m being dumb.”

“I think you’ve had a few months to prepare for this, but that your reaction is understandable nevertheless,” Kenobi says carefully. “Quinlan, would you like to take a seat?”

He hops the back of an armchair in a way that earns him a long-suffering, fond sigh. Quinlan grins encouragingly. “So, do I get to know what this is about?”

“I’m having trouble keeping it out of the Force, but at least I can do that,” Skywalker mutters. He does not lift his head. “I can’t control the scent stuff.”

“Yeah,” Quinlan says, because he’s not sure what else to say. “Do you want me to go get Tano? Might make you feel better.”

Skywalker just whines, high and pained, and tries to curl impossibly closer to Kenobi.

“Anakin,” Kenobi tries. “Anakin, do you want me to explain?”

“I want my--” Skywalker cuts himself off with a choking noise, and then keens. It’s a very omega noise, in the sense that his vocal cords can make it, and non-omegas have trouble mimicking it, and it makes Quinlan want to go over and do his best to fix things in whatever way he can.

(This, everyone is finding, is the truly awkward element to having Skywalker and Kenobi around. They don’t have any experience with controlling their ternary sex instincts, and it makes everyone else react poorly when they do, well, almost anything. They can’t be blamed, considering exactly how inconvenient this is for them, as well, but it’s not a great time for anyone.)

Quinlan tries to keep his own scent pleasant and calm, as soothing as he can make it through the blockers. He doesn’t think it works. “Your what?”

“His wife,” Kenobi says. “Because apparently that was the other way he broke the Code.”

“I looked her up,” Skywalker moans, dramatic as anyone. “She’s already mated and married, in this timeline. To that artist. She’s totally happy and she’s never met me and I’m never gonna be able to work with or around her because I won’t be able to act normal about it and I miss her.”

‘A lot of feelings‘ Kenobi mouths at Quinlan over Skywalker’s head.

“Well, at least it explains the position you’re in,” Quinlan tries to joke. The blank look he gets from Kenobi tells him clearly that the joke didn’t land. “Uh, scenting at the neck like that.”

“Inappropriate?” Kenobi hazards a guess. He doesn’t pull Skywalker away.

“Sort of,” Quinlan says. “You’re family, or as good as, so between that and the need for comfort, nobody’s really going to judge you for it, especially given your backgrounds, but that kind of prolonged neck-scenting for comfort is something kids outgrow in pre-adolescence. It’s only really used for either comfort for extreme emotions, like this, or, uh, between lovers. Post-coital, or during foreplay before, you know, mouths get involved.”

Kenobi grimaces. “Lovely. And what do you mean by ‘of our backgrounds’ in this case? That we have less control, or another factor?”

He doesn’t sound offended. Quinlan appreciates that. “You didn’t have ten years to get that comfort. It’s like... touch starvation, but for scenting. Anyone who knows what’s going on with you, even in the vague sense that doesn’t involve dimensional travel, is going to give you leeway on scenting because you didn’t have that, growing up.”

Kenobi’s grimace doesn’t go away until Skywalker’s breath hitches, hand curling in his master’s robes. “Anakin?”

“I don’t like feeling like this,” Skywalker mutters. “It sucks.”

“I know.”

“And we can’t delay the war much longer, and she was one of the only reasons I stayed even kinda sane through it.”

“I know, Anakin,” Kenobi sighs, running a hand through Skywalker’s hair and, awkwardly as anything, pressing a small kiss to the young man’s forehead. “You’ll have other ways to de-stress this time around. Maybe you’ll actually attend your meditative retreats.”

Skywalker huffs out a breath, in a laugh wet with what might be burgeoning tears. “Shut up.”

“I think you’ve known me far too long to think I’ll ever run out of words,” Kenobi says. He meets Quinlan’s eyes again, but before either of them can communicate about whether Quinlan should leave, Skywalker lurches to his feet, muttering something about a shower.

He’s gone before Kenobi can get more than two words out, and the man is left looking ruffled and confused by his former padawan’s sudden departure. He stays watching the door, and slowly wilts in a way that doesn’t speak well for his state of mind. The man sighs and drops his head into his hands, cradling it with his elbows on his knees, and whatever calm he’d had fades into pure stress, the air curdling with the smell of it.

Quinlan waits, unsure of how to handle this; Kenobi’s Quinlan Vos probably would have known how to deal with the change.

“What am I doing?” Kenobi breathes out, the words almost inaudible from behind his hands.

There are a few moments for Quinlan to consider the many complications and ramifications of getting involved, and then he decides to do so anyway. He stands up and steps around the caff table, and sits down next to Kenobi. He wraps an arm around the man’s shoulders, and brings him in close.

“You don’t have to do this,” Kenobi says, though he makes no move to pull away. “I know you don’t... this is just an obligation. The Council assigned you to gather information and keep an eye out for us in terms of the whole omega thing, since you already shared my heat, and... I know I’m not a friend to you. You barely know me, and the fact that you have to look out for me is something that truly grates. Such care shouldn’t...”

Quinlan waits for him to finish, but he doesn’t.

“I won’t say that they didn’t give me that assignment, because that would be a lie and you’d know it,” Quinlan says. “But I do want to be friends with you. We’re sort of there, already, even if that’s mostly you knowing my other self, and my psychometry, but I’ve seen what a friendship with you could be like, in what you let me see. We’ll never have that same dynamic, because I didn’t grow up with you, and the ternary sex adds an element that changes things, but I do want to be your friend.”

He hesitates, unsure if the rest will make things worse or better, but says it anyway. “As for taking care of you, looking out for you... I do feel a need to do that on an instinctual level, yes, but I can ignore it. It’s an instinct, but one that I, like everyone else that’s grown up as a human or near human in this galaxy, can work around. I am doing more than the minimum the Council requested, and it’s because I do actually like you as a person, and want to know you better.”

Kenobi’s head is resting on his shoulder by this point, tired and heavy, and Quinlan reaches up to brush his knuckles against the beard without looking. His blockers are still keeping his scent down, but the contact seems to make Kenobi relax more. His hands are mostly laced together, and falling into the dip between their legs.

“There’s a way I can help, but it’s, ah... not inherently sexual in nature, but generally only done by those whose relationship is already some degree of sexual,” Quinlan tells him. “To make you feel better, less stressed.”

“I’m assuming you’re not suggesting an orgasm,” Kenobi mutters, dry as anything. He laughs when Quinlan puts a hand on his knee.

“Not exactly feeling it,” Quinlan agrees. He squeezes Kenobi’s knee, and then says, “No, it’s mostly scenting in a way that’s usually only done by lovers; it’s more effective, but very intimate in a way many find uncomfortably sexual, because the amount of tongue involved is very reminiscent of foreplay.”

Kenobi laughs, a little harder, and nuzzles a little. He doesn’t seem aware of the fact that he’s doing it. “Alright, then.”

“I’d also suggest moving to one of the nests,” Quinlan says, and Kenobi immediately freezes. He gives it a moment, and then says, “I know you found it helpful after your heat, Kenobi. The nesting instinct is human here. It’s not shameful. There are people who don’t get anything out of it, but I’ve seen you nesting, and it’s good for you.”

Kenobi shudders and Quinlan thinks he might be fighting down a whine. “It’s a change, Quin. I mean, Quinlan. It’s... it’s just another thing out of many that’s different.”

“And one of the few you have control over?” Quinlan guesses. He tries to purr for support when Kenobi nods against his shoulder, and he thinks the deep rumble is soothing to Kenobi. “I get that.”

“Don’t stop,” Kenobi mutters, and Quinlan can guess he’s blushing about it.

“Into the nest,” Quinlan mutters. “It’ll help convince Skywalker to use it, and he really needs that kind of comfort.”

That’s the line of logic that actually works, and Quinlan isn’t the least bit surprised.

“Fine,” Kenobi sighs, and gets to his feet before Quinlan can offer to carry him or something similarly joking. The man walks to the communal nest at the edge of the room, and then looks down into the barely-used mess of blankets and pillows in the floor divot like he doesn’t even know how to get in.

Quinlan thinks there might be dust, even.

Fine. He can work with that. He’s taken this duo on as a project of his own free will, and he’s damn well going to follow through.

“Want to rearrange it?” he asks, in hopes that he can prompt Kenobi into figuring out what’s wrong.

“I don’t... know,” Kenobi says, frowning in a way that’s more worried and uncomfortable than angry. “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Quinlan considers it, thinks of how the dust means nobody’s been here, that there’s not even a hint of scent, and then turns and grabs the throw pillows and thick, woven blanket from the couch.

“Wait,” Kenobi protests. “They don’t--”

“We can put them back later,” Quinlan assures him. He holds them out to Kenobi. “Trust me? I may not be an omega, but I do know enough of the theory.”

Kenobi takes the pillows and the blanket, stares down at them and then at the nest, and steps out of his slippers and into the nest. The layer already there is thin, and likely not doing much for anyone, but it’s the bare minimum and Quinlan can work with that.

He turns and scouts the room for spare fabrics, grabs all three of the outer robes from where they hang by the door, and the recently-used dishtowel that only barely carries Skywalker’s scent, and brings them to Kenobi.

“The robes aren’t clean!” Kenobi protests.

“I could grab something from your room instead,” Quinlan says. “Or you could just leave the hems on the outside. But you need more fabric that actually smells like someone.”

Quinlan wonders, idly, if Kenobi would have this kind of reaction to the suggestion without omega instincts at play, or if it’s just the instincts and he doesn’t realize, or maybe that he’s decided to let the instincts happen since Quinlan’s pushed him into nesting already anyway. The man had insisted in perfectly pressing his robes from the beginning, long before their bodies had had a chance to change, and Skywalker had found it normal, so it’s probably, at least a little, just the man’s personality. It probably doesn’t matter, overall, because all Quinlan has to do is sit at the edge of the nest until Kenobi--the person who actually lives here--is done arranging things.

Quinlan takes off another two layers and offers them, noting out loud that he can get them back later when Skywalker can fill in the gaps or something before too many protests can be voiced. Kenobi hesitantly takes them and tucks them in among his own additional layers. Quinlan’s seen enough communal nests to know that most of the placements are odd and not going to work out long-term, but that’s not the point right now. The point is getting Kenobi to recognize the his body, and more importantly, his mental health, rely at least somewhat on nesting now.

“Are you going to come in?” Kenobi asks, belatedly realizing Quinlan’s still outside the lip of the flooring divot.

“Not without permission,” Quinlan says, and sees the realization flicker in.

Kenobi holds out a hand, silent, and Quinlan lets himself get tugged in among the half-stale, half-new nest. It’s not great, but that’ll come with practice. He tucks himself around Kenobi, and rubs at the man’s arms in an attempt to ease some of the tension that’s clinging to every line of his body.

“What now?” Kenobi asks, just a shade more quiet than Quinlan thinks is really required by the situation.

“A lot of the stress you’re feeling is a feedback loop from being covered in your own distress scent,” Quinlan says. “You can shower to handle that, which is what Skywalker is doing, or you can manually remove it.”

“I’d imagine a wet towel,” Kenobi says, a touch wry, “but given that you mentioned tongue earlier, I’m guessing you intend to lick it away?”

“It’s more effective,” Quinlan admits. “Not at removing the scent, necessarily, but it removes enough to help while also generating comfort and relaxation hormones from the close contact, and being scented by a trusted individual.”

“Makes sense,” Kenobi admits. “You, ah, use scent blockers usually, right? Can you, er, scent me?”

Quinlan can see just how much Kenobi dislikes using the words. He tries to keep it quick. “I use a cream blocker over my scent glands, namely at the neck and wrists, since the rest are covered in fabric. It’s... well, it can be wiped off, or also removed orally. Most manually-applied blockers are formulated to be safe for contact with the mouth or genitals. Only really gets to be a problem if there are rare allergies or with specific species. It doesn’t taste like anything, if that matters.”

Kenobi’s discomfort is almost palpable, but Quinlan lets him work through that. This isn’t really something he can make a choice for Kenobi about, and the discomfort is... well, it’s not really the kind of discomfort usually associated with ternary sex and associated behaviors. Everything’s just very new, and comes with changes to the body that Kenobi never agreed to.

“Right,” Kenobi says. “I want to... to at least try it, I think.”

He turns and blushes, eyes anywhere by Quinlan’s face. “I don’t know how much longer Anakin will be. I’d rather he not think we’re, er...”

“Then I’ll take care of that part fast,” Quinlan promises, and is rewarded by Kenobi offering a wrist.

It’s... not sexual. Quinlan knows he has a hard time explaining this to near-humans that don’t have the scent glands, that don’t have the ternary dynamics. He’s had a similarly hard time explaining it to Kenobi and Skywalker. It’s not sexual, just intimate, when he pulls Kenobi’s wrist to his face, closes his eyes, and breathes in the scent of a distressed, uncomfortable, bitter omega that he’s shared a heat with and knows as almost-friend. The smell, this close and this strong, triggers the production of pheromones of his own, and when he feels Kenobi tentatively start pressing kisses to Quinlan’s own wrist, he relaxes. He brushes his lips against Kenobi’s wrist, and then puts his open mouth to it, the slightest press of teeth and his tongue laving across the skin. He hears Kenobi’s gasp, an almost-yelp, and pulls away long enough to press a kiss the the veins under his lips, and to say, “Relax, Kenobi.”

He forces a purr out, low and rumbling, and feels it work on Kenobi just like it did earlier. There’s a tongue pulling, a little dry, to rub away the blocker on the inside of his wrist, and he turns his attention back to Kenobi’s. The scent is even stronger on his tongue, bitter and unhappy, and his body continues to produce calm and comfort as he pulls away the uglier feelings painted on Kenobi’s skin.

More pheromones leak under his mouth, but less bitter. Less intense. He does what he can, opens his eyes and turns and sees that Kenobi is unduly focused on his wrist, mouthing and not quite purring, but oddly fuzzy in the Force. His eyes are closed, but Quinlan’s pretty sure they’d be glazed if not.

“Kenobi?”

“Hm?”

“Guess you haven’t encountered this outside of a heat before,” Quinlan mutters. He shakes his arm a bit, and puts his other hand on Kenobi’s shoulder. “Kenobi, hey, look at me?”

Kenobi pulls away, blinking, and then makes a face. “That...”

“Didn’t like losing control?” Quinlan guesses. The answer is clear enough. “It’s a matter of practice, especially for you.”

“Why did I... it smelled and tasted like... like I was safe,” Kenobi mutters lowly, eyes on the nest instead of on Quinlan. “I’ve never associated any sense with safety other than the Force.”

“You trust me,” Quinlan says, as if that’s not a little terrifying in its own way. He already knew that Kenobi trusted him, but he thinks that this strong of a reaction might make him Kenobi’s most trusted person after Skywalker and maybe Tano. “And since you trust me, your body subconsciously takes cues from mine, when it comes to pheromones. I project comfort and safety, and your body takes it as... not fact, but affirmation.”

“So I won’t react to anyone like this,” Kenobi says, not quite begging for Quinlan to confirm, but close to it. “Just you, and... does that same logic apply to those who aren’t Alpha designation?”

“Yeah,” Quinlan says. “Not in the same way, but familiarity and trust does affect which pheromones affect you, and how strongly. Children are largely unresponsive to aggression pheromones from their parents, by default, since their minds process it as aggression in defense of them, rather than aggression at them.”

Kenobi purses his lips, but nods and looks at Quinlan’s other wrist. “Moving on?”

“If you’re okay with it,” Quinlan says, but he brings his cleaned wrist to Kenobi’s and rubs them together until his own comfort scent is covering up what’s left of the distress. “Take a smell at that and see how you feel.”

Kenobi eyes him warily--he’s pretty sure he hasn’t done anything to deserve that, but allows it because, well, Kenobi--and sniffs at his own wrist. His brow furrows in confusion, and he sniffs again.

“Good?” Quinlan hazards.

“I... yeah,” Kenobi says. He sounds as confused as he looks. “I like it. It’s... the safe thing, again, but mixing with me?”

“That’s how it’s supposed to feel,” Quinlan assures him. “Other wrist?”

If he were actually the friend that Kenobi had grown up with, if he’d actually had a Kenobi to grow up with, he thinks he might have thrown in a few joking pet names by now.

But he’s not, and they didn’t, so he won’t.

He thinks he hears Skywalker finish up in the shower, but Kenobi pulls his mouth to the neck, and mutters that they have some time while Skywalker does something to his hair. Apparently, there are products needed for those curls.

The angle’s going to be a little uncomfortable if they try to get at each other’s scent glands simultaneously, so Quinlan suggests that Kenobi handle getting the blocker off first.

“Why?”

“More convenient,” Quinlan says, and then clasps Kenobi’s hands so their wrists rub together. He squeezes, just a little, a touch of reassurance, and smiles and tilts his head. “All yours, Kenobi.”

The man smiles, brittle, and almost giggles. Maybe Quinlan was doing something oddly similar to his counterpart from Kenobi’s dimension. Maybe it was an inside joke he didn’t know. It doesn’t matter, because Kenobi’s leaning in and mouthing along Quinlan’s neck and throat like a man possessed a half-second later.

Quinlan closes his eyes and threads a hand into Kenobi’s hair, focuses on warmth and comfort and protection, rather than anything aroused. Kenobi slows down, lapping at Quinlan’s neck and inhaling, and in the Force he radiates confusion.

“That’s it,” Quinlan mutters, and Kenobi makes a low chirruping noise that he immediately stifles with an annoyed huff. “Hey, no, those are normal. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“I want control over my own body, Quin,” Kenobi mutters, and switches to the other side. He rubs his face against Quinlan’s neck, and it’s another point on the list of things Kenobi does that he might not realize are based in newer instincts. “I don’t like something being wrong with me, and not understanding what it is.”

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Quinlan mutters, using the hand in Kenobi’s hair to guide him into actually removing the scent blocker instead of donating a case of beard burn. “Even going as fast as you did just now wasn’t something wrong. Your instincts got a bit confused, that’s all. You’re fine.”

He purrs until Kenobi is done, and gets that chirruping noise again. Kenobi’s still annoyed about it, but Quinlan’s just happy he’s getting less uncomfortable about it.

“Okay, sit up and turn around,” Quinlan says, and Kenobi eyes him again. “Have I steered you wrong yet?”

“No.”

“So trust me,” Quinlan urges. “Just turn around.”

Kenobi does. Quinlan sits up and rearranges his legs so there’s one on either side of Kenobi, half-bent. He pulls the other man closer, blankets folding oddly beneath them, and wraps his arms around Kenobi’s waist.

He breathes for a moment, chin hooked over Kenobi’s shoulder, and asks, “Good?”

“Oddly so, yes,” Kenobi mutters. He might be blushing. “Er, should I... do anything?”

“Hands on mine, if you’d like,” Quinlan tells him. “We can lie back down and spoon after I clean up your left.”

The noise Kenobi makes is low, affronted in a way that speaks to his ongoing embarrassment. Quinlan ignores it, just gets to work taking away as much of Kenobi’s stress scent as he can, mouthing along the man’s neck and managing a purr that isn’t even forced. It rumbles out of him unprompted, his hindbrain piecing together the relaxing omega in his lap and the safety of the Temple and the pride he’s got in doing this right, the knowledge that Kenobi’s happier than he was an hour ago and it’s all Quinlan’s doing.

He rubs his face along Kenobi’s neck as he finishes up, scenting and being scented back, and is gratified when Kenobi starts purring too. The nuzzling is mostly soft, though Quinlan’s stubble is nothing to Kenobi’s beard; the hairs trap Quinlan’s scent where it’ll do the most good. He follows a hint of mischievous intent and tugs at Kenobi’s earlobe with his teeth, earning himself a little whine. He laughs, and licks the curve of Kenobi’s ear, immediately scenting further.

“Anakin’s going to be back soon,” Kenobi says, sounding almost sleep drunk.

Quinlan switches sides and guides them both down to lie, chest to front, in the nest. He works more slowly on the other side, keeps himself  propped up on his elbow, forearm slipped neatly under Kenobi’s neck. The scent gland at Quinlan’s wrist rests under Kenobi’s nose, right where it’ll have the most effect. His other hand rubs up and down Kenobi’s side, and by the time Skywalker reenters the room, Quinlan’s done with licking the stress off and rubbing his scent into anything he thinks will help. He’s lying fully on his side instead of having his head propped up, and just doing his best to spread comfort through the room through Force and smell. He maybe nibbles at the back of Kenobi’s neck, here and there, because the man has lothcat response, and

“Guys?”

“Over here, Skywalker.”

The kid--not really a kid, but younger than Aayla, still, so he counts--rounds the couch, and sees them among the added cloaks and pillows and blanket. He stares. Kenobi starts to stiffen back up.

Quinlan increases his purring, and rubs his face against Kenobi’s neck, and glares up at Skywalker for good measure. Kenobi can’t see past Quinlan, probably, and squirms. Skywalker tilts his head, and then puts up a finger in a ‘one moment’ sort of gesture. He runs off.

“Anakin--”

“Kid’s fine,” Quinlan assures him, and Skywalker skids back into the room at unsafe speeds, arms full of what Quinlan’s pretty sure are his own duvet and pillow, and falls face-first into the nest. Kenobi jerks back into Quinlan, but Skywalker ignores this in favor of rearranging the nest into something approaching functional. He’s better at it than Kenobi.

Quinlan’s pretty sure Skywalker was more open to these things from the start. It tracks.

“Now Anakin, really,” Kenobi sputters, as Skywalker finishes layering things in the way he thinks is best. Skywalker beams at him, earlier melancholy forgotten for the moment, and flops down to drop his head somewhere near Kenobi’s chest.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Skywalker says. “This is good for you.”

Kenobi blushes, and Quinlan scrapes his teeth against the back of his neck again.

“Quinlan!” Kenobi yelps, jolting. “Not--we’re not alone!”

“Helps you calm down, though,” Quinlan says, pressing a few close-mouthed kisses at Kenobi’s hairline.

“Different cultural standards,” Skywalker adds, half-guessing but sure of himself nonetheless. He seems entirely too delighted to be here. “You know what? We should invite Ahsoka.”

“She’s not your padawan here,” Kenobi scolds.

“Yet,” Skywalker corrects. “As soon as I get all my psych evals cleared, the Council’s going to promise. She’s basically my padawan already.”

Kenobi sighs, aggrieved in a manner that feels more fond than actually upset, in the Force, and places a hand lightly on Skywalker’s.

Skywalker chirrups and wriggles closer, pressing his face to Kenobi’s tunic with a smile.

“I see someone’s feeling better,” Kenobi notes, and moves his hand up to play with Skywalker’s hair. “The shower helped?”

“Mm-hm,” Skywalker says. “’nd some of the stuff they made me learn in therapy.”

Kenobi hums low in his throat, an aimless vocalization, as he continues to comb his fingers through Skywalker’s hair.

Skywalker blinks, slow and bleary, with a soft and dopey smile, and Kenobi stops.

“What?”

“I like it when you play with my hair,” Skywalker says, almost too low to hear. His eyes close. “Feels nice. Cared for. Family.”

Kenobi freezes, breath hitching, and Quinlan shifts and lifts just enough to see the man is staring at his own hand in confusion and a slight bit of fear.

“Kenobi?”

“I didn’t even question it,” Kenobi says faintly. “I don’t... I haven’t done that since he was just a child, but I didn’t even question it. I stopped myself from commenting that he’s too old to come to his master for cuddles, because he’s not, in this dimension, and I’m getting used to that, but I started playing with his hair like it was normal and it’s not.”

Quinlan puts his mouth to Kenobi’s trapezius, just enough pressure that he’s not biting, just there, and purrs.

It’s several inches away from anything resembling a mating bite, but Kenobi tilts his head and whines anyway.

“Obi-Wan?” Skywalker prompts, brow furrowed. “It’s not... I mean, I’m not going to say it’s okay, since I know we’re both still upset about our bodies being changed without our permission or input or even a warning, but we’re getting used to it. We’re working with it. The hair thing is fine with me, I like it and would have before. And now that you know you’ll want to do, uh, that sort of thing--”

“Subset of grooming behaviors,” Quinlan tells them, pulling away from Kenobi’s neck with a final open-mouthed kiss. He sees the face Skywalker makes in response to the words, and feels Kenobi’s discomfort, so he elaborates. They’ve compared most of what they hear with tookas and lothwolves, so he thinks he knows what this is about. “We’re not exactly going to start licking each other clean--excluding scent comfort, that’s different--like lothcats, but you’ve already noticed that humans and near-humans are more tactile than you’re used to. Most forms of care, especially of partners and children, ends up physical in some way.”

He gestures between the two of them. “You view Skywalker as family, for all that you shy away from defining it, and so naturally gravitate to care. The easiest way for that to manifest when sharing a nest is usually playing with someone’s hair. Since he’s younger than you, and you’ve spent as much time as you have being the adult in his life...”

Quinlan trails off before he can comment on the question of whether they’re closer to brothers or father-and-son. Kenobi’s already expressed discomfort with that topic, well before they started naturalizing to this dimension. Quinlan’s not going to push for Kenobi to acknowledge Skywalker’s importance to him.

(They’ll have to address it at some point, but that’s a job for the mind healers, not for Quinlan.)

(For all that it’s going to impact and be impacted by their dynamics, that much is definitely not Quinlan’s to handle.)

Kenobi shudders in his arms, but doesn’t shake him off, and doesn’t stop Skywalker from burrowing somehow closer. Quinlan settles back in as Kenobi returns to playing with Skywalker’s hair.

“We really should invite Ahsoka, though.”

“Not tonight, padawan.”

-----------------------------------------------

Additional notes:

I initially wrote “ternary gender,” but found that it didn’t strike true to how I envisioned gender and dynamic playing out among Jedi culture in particular. While the term ‘dynamic’ is used regularly in a more casual setting, Quinlan uses the term “ternary sex” when talking about it in the company of Anakin and Obi-Wan. I view it as a subconscious attempt to keep a clinical view of the ternary sex system present in the omegaverse dimension, in recognition that it’s new and unfamiliar and often unpleasant for Anakin and Obi-Wan, having come from a dimension that doesn’t have ternary sexes or the associated reproductive capabilities, instincts, or cycles.

I’d like to explore how the ideas of sex, gender, dynamic, and so on intersect within the context of this universe, because I think it’s something I’d have a lot of fun working with, but this is not the fic for that.

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (10)

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(technoblade x fem!reader)

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(a/n: y’all seemed to like chapter 9 so here’s chapter 10! I know, I know. still no technoblade! BUT! he WILL be arriving soon~ very soon. >:3c but for now just enjoy the rest of the utter nonsense that’s the election. and remember! reblogs and comments REALLY make writing the next chapter possible. if y’all lose interest then so will I. so reblog and comment y’all! <3)

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There was an eerie silence hanging over everyone in attendance. Nobody quite knew what to say, or even how to react to this startling new information. Not a soul spoke as a few people on stage and in the audience shared confused glances, not even whispering their questions to each other lest they shatter the heavy stillness. At least that was the case before HBomb hopped up out of his chair and gave a loud and cheerful “WHOO! NEW PRESIDENT!” that successfully slam dunked everyone back into the moment at hand. 

Suddenly you were surrounded by noise as everyone started talking at once. 

Meanwhile you remained mostly unaware of it, well more like distantly aware of it.

You stared up at the stage, locked in place from how floored you still were.

What in the absolute hell was Wilbur talking about?? 

You can’t have won! Because you weren’t running! 

So there’s no way for you to WIN something you were never actively competing for! 

There had to be a mistake. Maybe this was just some more of their silly pranks and japes before they read off the real winner, which actually wasn’t that huge of a stretch for this SMP if you were being honest. Or at least that’s what you were telling yourself anyways. Vaguely you could hear voices talking all around you, but it seemed far away, so you weren’t really registering what was being said. You were mostly just staring blankly at the stage, not really seeing any of the people up there as you tried to process what just happened.

It took Tubbo grabbing your elbow and shaking it to snap you out of the almost trance like state you'd slipped into. You looked down and he actually looked excited, but you could also see shock in his expression as well. You looked behind you to the rest of the crowd and some were clapping and cheering while others stood silent, shocked like you if you had to hazard a guess. You looked back up at the stage when you heard Tommy calling you to come up with them. You were still sorta frozen but thankfully Tubbo nudged you forward, reminding you that you needed to move. Silently you made your way up to the podium, mouth feeling dry and stomach feeling like it was full of stones.

Now that you were zoned back in you could hear the arguing coming from the podium. You were sort of dreading coming face to face with Wilbur, already knowing how… not great he took Schlatt winning from the original timeline. And he apparently knew and was friends with the ram hybrid. So you couldn’t see him being happy you won.. But when you got to the stage where the others were you couldn’t focus on Wilbur because all at once your vision was overtaken by Tommy, who was babbling about how you won! And how the hell did you win?? You weren’t even running! And how he’s pretty down they lost but at least Quackity and George didn’t win! (that got a ‘fuck you!’ out of the Spanish speaking young man) You gave a weak chuckle and said you’re not sure how or why you won but it was crazy indeed. 

Quackity, Schlatt, and George were the most vocal about not thinking the results were fair. Though to be clear, Wilbur didn’t look thrilled either, but he was doing his best to look professional or put together you guessed. Or at least not blow up in front of literally everyone. You kept an eye on him while Tommy led you up to the mic and told you to give your first decree as president. But you sorta… didn’t want to be president. You hoped you wouldn’t upset anyone by not accepting the job. But you didn’t think you’d make a good leader. So you turned away from the mic, hoping nobody but the ones beside you on stage would hear when you asked if you had to accept the role. 

This caught all the mens’ attention and Wilbur was quick to give you an out, saying no you didn’t technically HAVE to accept the presidency. In fact if you weren’t ready or willing to fill the role then the runners up, aka him and Tommy, would happily do so for you. But then Quackity, Schlatt, and surprisingly Fundy said that wasn’t fair either since both Pog2020 and Schlatt/Swag2020 were tied with the amount of votes. And you had to admit, that didn’t seem fair. But Wilbur perked up and you’d swear in that moment he was the embodiment of the ‘lightbulb above head’ phrase. Then he grinned and turned to Fundy and Niki and asked to speak to them before urging them and Tommy off the stage, leaving you and Schlatt/Swag2020 on the stage alone.

Not wanting to leave everyone in the audience hanging, you gave a polite smile and assured them that the others just wanted to…. recount the votes! They weren’t sure Wilbur counted them right so they figured recounting with some other witnesses there would clear things up! The crowd shared confused glances but it was Tubbo who yelled out that that sounded sus as hell! And if he were you he’d think they were trying to cheat or something! You snorted a laugh but assured him it was alright and you didn’t think they’d be that ballsy~

-0-

Fundy and Niki followed behind Wilbur and Tommy, the latter of the two males just as confused about what Wilbur was up to as the pair behind him. But then they all gathered in the white house and Wilbur turned to the members of Coconut2020 and said he had a proposition for them! The brunet said that since it was clear that you weren’t really up to being president, his tone derisive like your refusal of the position was tantamount to spitting in his food, then if Fundy and Niki agreed to combine their votes with Swag2020 then Wilbur could be president again and things could go back to normal!

But the blonde woman and fox hybrid didn’t look convinced.. Niki said they’d just be giving them their votes so they could win, while they got nothing? Fundy frowned and asked what positions he and Niki would have in the Pog2020 cabinet if they joined their votes with theirs. Here is where Wilbur hesitated, unsure what positions he could give them. But then he smiled and said Niki would be the First Woman, since she was the first woman to join L’manberg! And Fundy would of course be everyone’s Little Champion! He couldn’t help but baby talk his son, he’d never been able to take Fundy seriously, not really anyways. What with his alert little triangle ears, furry face, soft little paw beans, and fluffy tail. He was just too cute for Wilbur to take him seriously. Even now. But it was this attitude that would be his downfall. Because it’s what caused Fundy to snap.

“No, Wilbur! This is serious! I’m not some baby for you to dress up and prance around! I’m a fucking adult! I have my own house, I pay taxes, I fought in a war for fucks sake!” the hybrid shouted, clearly upset.

Wilbur was shocked but tried to calm Fundy down, not fully realizing how mad his son was until the red haired male practically snarled, 

“I’m not going to sit here and hand over the votes Niki and I earned just so you can treat me like a child!”

Without another word he turned on his heel and stormed out of the white house, leaving three stunned people behind. Tommy looked up at Wilbur, opening and closing his mouth, wanting so badly to say something, maybe lighten the awkward mood but not knowing what or even if he should speak at all. Meanwhile Niki just sighed and gave Wilbur a soft disappointed look. She knew Wilbur loved his son, and that often translated to him babying the hybrid. But she’d warned him, as kindly as she could, that it seemed to upset Fundy that his own father wouldn’t treat him like anything but a kid. She’s not a parent herself, so she figures it must be hard for a parent to see their child as anything but a child, even after they’ve grown. 

But she can see Fundy’s side too. It must be massively frustrating to be looked upon like you’re just a kid. Especially since Wilbur doesn’t even treat Tommy, his own younger brother, as a child as much as he does Fundy. And she’d seen first hand how Wilbur’s attitude towards Fundy, whether or not the brunet intended for it to happen or not, did in fact influence how others treated the red furred hybrid. She’d seen Tommy, Tubbo, Eret, Sapnap, and even herself a couple times sort of not treat Fundy with the respect you’d show to a fellow adult. She tried her best to kick that habit, and her and Fundy’s friendship had really blossomed thanks to it, she thinks. But she believes Wilbur just pushed his son to his breaking point…

“He’s right, Wilbur. You can’t keep babying him. He’s a grown up now..” Niki said neutrally.

Then she let out a tired sounding breath of air and turned to follow after the fox hybrid, saying she would go check on him. But she also said Wilbur needed to talk to him later, man to man, and make things right. Said brunet looked rather flummoxed, not sure what the hell just happened. It was Tommy who broke the silence by giving an almost weak sounding ‘holy shit’. Wilbur turned his perplexed gaze to his brother and asked what the HELL that was all about! Said blond winced and gave a sigh while awkwardly scratching the back of his head, not thrilled with the weird turn this conversation took, but answered Wilbur,

“Ehh… looks like you and Fundy have some unresolved personal issues, bud..”

Wilbur barked that this wasn’t the time for Fundy to let some personal vendetta against him cloud his reasoning! They were in the middle of the do or die of the election! If they couldn’t get Fundy and Niki to agree to join their votes with theirs then they won’t win! And they’ll be in a tie with Schlatt and Quackity! Wilbur jerked his hands down, like he wanted to slam them against a table or something. But instead he just viciously scrubbed his fingers through his curly hair, feeling embittered with everyone around him. All he’d wanted was to lead HIS country! Like he rightfully should have been able to! All this election bollocks and now he was having to try and convince HIS OWN SON to help him stay president?! If it were him and Phil needed help he’d give it! Well he would if Phil were ever fucking around..

The sound of a crowd cheering caused the two to whip their heads towards the area where the stage was before they looked at each other. Not a word was spoken between them as they both took off in a run towards the stage, wondering what happened and what they were missing. They rounded the corner of the building to the left of the stage to see you smiling and waving daintily to the crowd. Not sure what they’d missed, Wilbur rushed up to Niki and asked what happened. Did you accept the presidency already?? 

Niki raised an eyebrow at her friend and nodded, saying you’d finally relented and accepted the role as president after she and Fundy came back from ‘recounting the votes’. Niki hummed and said she figured that you finally accepted the results after it was made clear that if you didn’t then everything would be stuck in a tie. But then Niki’s reflecting mood brightened and she said she really thought you’d do a good job as the new president. Even joking that you had to be better than Schlatt. 

Niki never voiced it out loud but she’d been worried Schlatt and Quackity would win. Schlatt was the biggest worry for her. To his credit, he was actually a really funny guy and she could see why Wilbur was friends with him, they just had a good chemistry and their senses of humor bounced off each other well. But… Schlatt could also be blatantly power hungry and hateful if not kept in check from the few times she’d met him or heard stories about him from Wilbur. Niki felt like giving him the amount of authority that came with being president would only end poorly. And Quackity was an alright guy in her opinion but he could be vindictive and petty too. She got the vibe that any amount of power given to him would instantly go to his head and turn him into a jerk.

But again, these were just her personal (and not spoken aloud) opinions…

She always hated being mean to people and saying hurtful things. So she kept her opinions to herself more often than not. Unless it was super important anyways. So instead of elaborating on Why she was so relieved that Schlatt and Quackity hadn’t won she instead flashed the two members of Pog2020 a smile and said it had been a fun race, and despite all the drama she really thinks Tommy’s friend will do a good job. Then with a keen raise of her eyebrows the blonde suggested with a cute smile,

“Oh, maybe you could be a member of Reader’s Cabinet! I’m sure she’ll be needing a vice president, secretary of defense, treasury, and other positions!”

Niki was honestly just trying to cheer up her friend, but the cheerful smile slipped off her face at the dark look that crossed Wilbur’s. She grew concerned when she saw how hard he was clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. His behavior over the last few weeks had been slowly worrying her, but this was starting to make her anxious. And when he started marching towards the stage she shot a panicked look to Tommy, who could do nothing but give her an equally worried and confused face before they both tried to hurry after their brown haired friend. But he got up onto the stage before either of them could grab his arm, and Niki was about to call after him but he reached your side, clearing his throat and alerting you to his presence. 

You looked down and saw him standing at attention next to you, hand outstretched for a handshake and a polite but serious smile on his face. You were surprised, thinking he was handling this with more grace than you’d expected, but a feeling deep in your gut was still on edge. You knew the destruction Wilbur Soot was all too willing and capable of doing in the selfish pursuit of keeping power over the country he made. The lives of his friends and family be damned. So while you really really wanted to hope that Wilbur will be better since you won over the other parties… you’re also highly skeptical that he will manage to keep his sanity. 

But instead of showing any of your reservations you instead simply smile and shake his hand, thanking him for congratulating your win and promising him you’ll do your best with the presidency and taking care of L’manberg. And if you noticed how his smile looked a little too angry at the edges then you didn’t say anything..

So instead of dealing with the mess that was Wilbur Soot you focused on the crowd and let go of Wilbur’s hand to stand at the sort of comically short podium and spoke out to the people you were now responsible for,

“Well, this all was certainly unexpected..”

Chuckles erupted from the crowd at that, making you feel a bit better about all of this. At least you weren’t the only one to see how wild all of this mess was.

“I’m actually really shocked! I wasn’t intending to run for president but I suppose life has other plans for me. But regardless, I’m honored you’ve all put your faith in me to lead you. I swear to do my absolute best for you and help L’manberg flourish.”

Applause from the crowd made you give a genuine smile. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad?

-0-

In the audience, watching this all unfold behind a mask and tapping his foot, stood the familiar looking figure in a green hood. Hanging around next to him was Sapnap in all his black and white dressed glory. And at some point George had gotten bored with the drama on stage and had left Quackity’s side (not that the duck hybrid had even noticed or cared) and wandered over to stand with his two friends. They watched Wilbur hand over the presidency to you and George made an off hand comment that Wilbur sure didn’t look pleased with losing, a smug laugh in his sleepy tone. Sapnap snickered but stared at you and elbowed his taller friend, asking in a curious tone while subtly gesturing to you,

“Speaking of, why didn’t you tell us you’d let someone new on the server, Dream?”

His friend glanced at him for a second longer than normal before replying with a tense tone to his voice that he hadn’t let her on. That caused both Sapnap and George to jerk their heads up to look at him in visible confusion. While George stammered through a series of ‘what’s’ and ‘wait hold on-’ Sapnap was loudly questioning what the hell he meant. The mask wearing player shushed them both before looking up to see if anyone had heard them or looked over at the twos’ loud exclamations. Thankfully nobody had. So he sighed and led them a bit further away from the crowd and explained that he’d not authorized any new members to the server. and it was true, he hadn’t. But both hybrids still looked confused and George asked, clearly puzzled,

“Well then how did she get on the server?? Nobody else can let people on, right, Dream?”

Sapnap nodded but stopped when their taller friend let out a flat hum before shaking his head ‘no’. That caught the shorter twos’ attention so he elaborated by asking them,

“Who on this server is known to have Creative Mode?”

The two blinked before it dawned on them and they looked even more shocked than before, only now it was coupled with anxiousness. Sapnap harshly whispered to the two, asking why the hell fucking GOD himself would actually let someone onto the server?? DreamXD never bothered with players and stuff, only being rumored to be seen by players if they broke server rules. George added on that this all sounded really weird. And an idea hit him and he couldn’t help but voice it. 

“You don’t think… she’s linked to DreamXD.. do you? Like working for him or something?” he asked a touch nervously.

The other two didn’t say anything, not really knowing what to say to that. Sapnap could only shrug while the tallest of their group remained silent, none of them having any answers to the string of questions they’d just let loose.

They would just have to wait and see it seemed.

-0-

@lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant @thegeekisheere @sparkling-gayyy

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini series

E N H Y P E N as Campus Heart-throbs

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

summary: you’ve always been in love by sunghoon’s mysterious vibe. you loved everything in him and everybody knows about your feelings towards him. you think you’re happy enough as long as you can see Sunghoon but what happens when you discovered that you were sick?

word count: 8.7k

warnings: I’m no doctor, I’m not professional at these kind of stuff. I did some research but since i’m not that smart I might not make it so clear and might have mentioned some wrong things but please be considerate and just act like I know what i’m saying. lol

a/n: YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!! So, I’ve asked for opinions if whether I should make it a happy ending or nah, and since the opinions were in half, I decided to do both. Yeah, both. So, this one is the happy ending one, if you’re interested in reading the other version which is the tragic on, here. I just want to tell you that I cried writing that one. I decided to do both versions since I, myself can’t even choose what I wanted. I have ideas and plots for happy endings that obviously I cannot include in the sad one and vice versa. So why not make the two version, right? So everyone is happy!!!  🌸

tag list: @jakeysim @kpoppinandlockin @en-sun @f1iore @dilfhwa​ @rubyanne​ @enhappy @bunnylover0193​

Park Sunghoon

Class 3 - A - “The Ice Prince”

You watched Sunghoon did a perfect routine during his practice for ice-skating one day. While leaning over the railings holding a bottle of water and some light snacks, you waited patiently for the perfect timing to greet him. Your eyes settled over his black hair that’s naturally swaying with his graceful movements. His pale complexion that gives highlight to his now tinted red cheeks. His breath fogged out from his pink soft looking lips as he exhale. He’s always wearing this blank face and still look so ethereal.

A proud small smile appeared over his slightly red face as his mentor gives him compliments for what he just did. You can’t help but to smile as well. This is the rare moments where you see him make different expressions. One of the reason why you love going to his practices.

Sunghoon was given a 15 minutes break that quickly made you jolt a little at your position. Out of excitement, you wanted to go and greet him right away but you tried to contain it and just wait for him.

“hello, y/n.” being someone who’s often in the ice arena, people knew you already. You gave them a warm smile and waved a little before going straight towards Sunghoon.

He was busy fiddling with some of his stuff. With a bright smile you tried to approach him as silent as you can be. When you were near him, you clapped your hands.

“That was a good routine.” you suddenly said. It didn’t surprised him at all. He just turned his head towards your direction then furrowed his brows at you.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. You kept your smile then handed him the water and snacks that you’re holding.

“Water?” you offered. His eyes darted over at the one you were handing him. He sighed as he pursed his lips over at the side trying to suppress his emotions.

“I have one already.” and he even raised his hand that’s holding a water jug. You pouted and then offered him the snacks instead.

“How about snacks? I bet you don’t have it!” you quickly tilted your head to go and look over his stuff to check if there’s any snacks prepared.

He sighed heavily as he stared down over at you. He’s way taller than you so your head was just below his chin. He sniffed, nose starting to get a little bit cold because of staying around the ice rink for too long.

“y/n, you’re supposed to be in the class right now.” he interrupted what you’re doing making you pout a bit more then stand straight in front of him fiddling with the snacks you were holding. His eyes looked fierce as he stares right at you. Feeling kind of intimidated, you lowered down your head.

“How about you? You’re supposed to be in the class too but you’re here!” you even tried to reason out using some nonsense thoughts. You yourself find it a little stupid to say that but it’s too late to take it back. Sunghoon’s already furrowing his brows at you with annoyed look and confusion over his face.

“What? I’m excused because of practice, y/n! What are you even talking about?” he asked you that made your lips pursed more into a pout. You lowered your head.

“I just want to see you...” you muttered under your breath. It was just enough for Sunghoon to hear it. He let out a sigh as he raised one of his hand to massage the bridge of his nose before puffing out a more calmer sigh.

“Alright, you saw me already.” he walked towards his things and laid down his water jug beside his bag. You saw how his eyes darted over you right after. With a quick glance over his eyes, you quickly looked away. It’s not the first time he gave you those icy stares but it still gets you every time.

“Go to class now.” he commanded firmly as he stare at you. Sunghoon was used to your presence. You were always vocal about how you feel towards him so he clearly knows why you’re acting like this. He don’t want to be rude to you since you’re not really doing anything bad.

With a pout you raised your head up, gathering some courage to look right into his icy blank eyes. Butterflies in your stomach went crazy the moment you two met eyes. With a blushing cheeks your hand rise up showing him the snacks you were holding.

“At least take the snacks.” you were pretty consistent too. One thing about you is that you don’t give up so easily. Especially if it’s Sunghoon that we’re talking about. He just kept you going for some reason. You’ve never liked anyone this way and you don’t think you can ever like somebody like this.

Sunghoon sighed as his eyes looked over your now shaded red hand. Because its so cold, your hands now were freezing a bit and it’s red already. Without saying anything, Sunghoon just gently grabbed the snacks and placed it above his bag then moved inside the ice rink because his coach was already calling him.

Your smile grew bigger as you looked at him skating away from where you were. It was just a simple gesture, he didn’t even said anything but still, it made you so happy. To be acknowledged by him, it’s already enough for you.

You smiled brightly as you jogged towards Sunghoon’s table. He was already seated and was flipping through his books. Everyone else were busy talking with their friends and here he is busy fiddling with his text book. Typical, Sunghoon.

You knocked over his table to catch his attention and you succeeded because he raised his head and his icy blank eyes met your warm ones. You smiled showing of your teeth and your eyes smiles together with your lips. You excitedly waved towards him as he gave you those stares. Butterflies went crazy inside your stomach, as usual.

“Good morning!” you greeted him with a smile. He just stared right at you before nodding his head once. Your smile grew bigger and you started walking towards your table to put your things down. Your seat happen to be just beside Sunghoon that’s why you get so lonely whenever he’s not there because of training.

Your teacher arrived and the class soon started. Everyone settled down and silent themselves once she started talking about the discussion for today. You’re silent too but you pulled out something from your bag. With a small smile after glancing over Sunghoon’s direction, you saw how he’s seriously eyeing in front listening attentively. He looked so handsome while a serious face was plastered over his face.

You slowly slid in to his part a notebook. It caught Sunghoon’s attention so he stared down at it for a while before his brows furrowed even more.

“What is this?” he asked you sounding so confused. You gave him a small smile before you looked back in front.

“Notes. I took notes of the lessons you missed because of practice.” you said trying hard to be heard by your teacher.

Sunghoon stared over at the cute notebook and clenched his jaw. He was about to say something but you interrupted him.

“You can’t say no. Just act that I didn’t prepare it for you. Put that inside your bag and I won’t ever bring up that you accepted it.”

“You don’t need to do this, y/n. I can handle myself. The teachers can even provide me the notes, you know?” he didn’t sound upset, offended or anything. It’s like he’s just making you understand a point. You do understand, but you can say you’re a little stubborn.

It just makes you happy whenever you help him even in the smallest ways. You feel like your life had make sense. Sounds a bit weird but that’s how it makes you feel.

You rolled your eyes as you looked back at him. His eyes were already darted over at you so you can’t help but to blush as you stared at each other’s eyes. You can’t still stand it so you lost and looked away.

“I know that but now you won’t have to ask for the notes from them since I already made you one. And besides, isn’t it the thought that counts?” you suddenly turned your head towards him because you thought he’s not looking anymore but your eyes grew big as your nose touched each other.

Sunghoon was caught off guard too. He didn’t even realized that he was leaning so close to you. With both of your cheeks tinted red, you quickly move away from him gulping a bit too hard to get rid of the sudden lump over your throat. You’re not sure if someone saw what just happened but you’re too flustered to even care about it.

The awkwardness slowly grew between you and Sunghoon as the discussion continued. You tilted your head trying to scribble over your notebook. Sunghoon, on the other hand, was trying to catch up to whatever the teacher was saying. His mind was occupied by how close your face was to his tho. He didn’t know you have beautiful eyes. Were your eyes had always been that pretty?

As the discussion went on, the more the two of you slowly feel at ease. It slowly faded away and you two listened carefully to the lesson. Nobody dares to look in each other’s eyes again during the whole period. You feel like your heart will burst if you look at him so refused even though you badly want to.

Break came faster than you expected it to, maybe because you were occupied you didn’t notice the time. As you and your friend walk your way towards the cafeteria to have lunch, you noticed Sunghoon with his friends. They’re kind of loud and loves to goof around while Sunghoon watches them silently. He have this small smirk over his face.

He’s an introvert and just prefer to stick to his small circle of friends that made you interested to him even more. You’re curious as to how he is when he’s with those people he’s close to. When he’s with the people he cares and value. Your stomach turns just by thinking of caring Sunghoon, bet he’s so warm to those people. You can’t help but to feel a little envy.

“Watching Sunghoon again, huh?” your friend took notice of your eyes not leaving the quiet boy. You smiled at her and you started eating your lunch. Your table was just a couple of tables away from their group so you can hear them being loud and rowdy.

“He’s so cute, right?” you told your friend while smiling. She gave you a smile as well and nodded her head. She’s actually amused at how you’re so consistent with showering Sunghoon love. She feels bad too because she thinks the boy is just too cold and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment.

“Don’t you think he’s a bit too cold for you?” she asked you and your smile faltered a little bit but you were quick enough to put it up once again. You thought about it as well but you just can’t find anyone you can like other than him. You tried, but you just can’t seem to like anybody else other than him.

Your eyes dropped over to your food, “He isn’t called the Ice Prince for nothing, f/n.” then you smiled at her. She rolled her eyes as she chuckle realizing you have a point.

“I’ll serve as the warm one, he’ll provide the cold.” you jokingly stated that made her laugh. That actually made sense because you are a very warm person that people really just can’t help but to adore you. You’re always bright and positive.

You walked inside the Ice arena holding a water bottle at one hand and snacks at the other one. It’s weekend and you heard that Sunghoon’s gonna be here and since you have nothing else to do, you decided to drop by even just for a short time. You just want to see him doing short routines and maybe give him the things you brought with you.

As you enter, you already saw him at the rink doing some moves that you don’t know. It was graceful as always for your opinion but something’s just not right, he’s face looked so stressed out. He isn’t wearing his usual blank expression while he’s coach were telling him a few things. He ran his hands over to his hair once.

The frustration get a bit more clearer the more you approach the railings. There’s nobody else here with him practicing. He stopped at doing three amazing spins but despite that he looked unsatisfied. He slid towards his coach as he told him things that just made his jaw clenched. You’re a bit far from him so you can’t hear it but it seems like he isn’t happy about it.

He ran his hands over to his hair again as he nodded his head towards the coach. He tapped his shoulder once before he exited the rink off to somewhere. You watched as Sunghoon skate his way towards a bench to maybe rest. You pouted feeling upset now that he looked upset.

A big heavy sigh was the first one you heard the moment you approached him. He clasped his hands together as he rested his elbows over his knees. His eyes were pierced over to the vacant ice rink. He seems like to be in his deep thought as you watch his fingers fiddled a bit too furiously.

“I thought you want to keep your hands clean as much as possible? It won’t look clean if you bruised it.” you decided to let him know your presence.

He looked over your direction a bit surprised that you’re here. Well, you do often come during his practices but today is weekend. He didn’t actually expect you to be here at all.

You gave him a small wave and your signature bright smile and walked even closer. He just silently watch as you approach where he was seating.

“What are you doing here?” sounding a bit amused, it didn’t came out as a rude remark. It came out more of with curiosity.

You smiled again like as if you’re not smiling already then sat down over at the bench next to where Sunghoon was. “I came to see you practicing.” you were honest and direct to the point.

He let out a sigh and rolled his eyes looking away. “You should go, this isn’t really a good time to bother me.” he bit his lower lip after letting out those words. He was frustrated that he can’t stop his own mouth from saying harsh words. Sunghoon is cold towards you, but he never been so rude.

He was just so stressed out because of practice. With the competition just around the corner and all the pressure the people around him was giving him, he can’t keep himself calm down.

You pouted, you’ve never seen him this frustrated in all the practices that you’ve been present. It somehow upsets you because you don’t want him looking like this.

“Why? What’s going on?” Sunghoon furrowed his brows at you clenching his jaw as your soft voice slowly reached out over his iced heart.

He was about to tell you to go home and leave him be because he’s kind of getting alarmed by how you’re making him feel but he was stunned when your eyes met his. He suddenly got the flash back of your eyes in up-close.

“Are you okay?” you asked once again with worry all over your eyes. Sunghoon lost it. For weeks of being under so much pressure and heavy practices, this is the first time someone actually asked if he’s okay.

He lowered his head feeling something melting inside of him. You got worried seeing him like this so without even realizing it, you walked towards him and sat down closer.

“Is everything okay?” you asked again then gulped worriedly.

Sunghoon shut his eyes balling his fist. He was restraining himself to be close to you since he think it wouldn’t be good for the two of you but your soft voice and comforting aura doesn’t help him after all. It kept on sounding so comforting like as if something’s pulling him closer to you.

He looked at your eyes for a while before he glanced away seconds after. He gulped, “I’m so t-tired.” there’s something in his voice that you couldn’t explain. It hurts you to hear him like that.

“Then rest. If you’re tired, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break.” you don’t know what to tell him exactly because you’re not an ice skater first of all, then you’re not sporty as well.

He looked at you with his blank expression that made you a bit anxious. You probably sound dumb at what you said and it didn’t made sense to him at all. You sighed and pursed your lips before you starred over the snacks down at your hand.

“Look, Sunghoon. You might feel under a lot of pressure right now that’s why you’re pushing yourself to do so much. I understand that you want to do good and everything but you also need to rest. Physically and mentally, if you’re tired you need to at least take a break.” you heaved a sigh after telling him those words.

His eyes slowly trailed down to his hands that were now calmer than before. He do realized how the pressure stressed him out and did think it kind of not healthy for him anymore. But he doesn’t really have a choice, it’s not like he have anything better to do other than to practice.

He sighed and pushed himself up to go back to the ice rink and maybe practice a little bit more of those routines. You followed him silently as a brilliant suddenly came up inside your head. You stood up leaving the snacks and water back at the bench as you come near the railings to call for Sunghoon.

“Sunghoon!” You shouted his name. He was already half-way in the middle of the rink when he turned his head over at you. With a little hand gestures of him to come closer, he let out a sigh and with a blushing face, he did approach you.

You smiled as he came closer, “Do you want to like spend the day with me instead? We can do all fun stuff today so you can relax!” you told him. You’re not really sure if he’ll agree or what but you still want to try your shot. Honestly, you don’t have anything plan for today. You just really want to go at the ice rink to go and see him even just for a short time but since it worries you so much, you wanted to at least make him feel a bit better.

He stared at you for a while before rested one of his hand over at the railings. Your eyes darted it for a while and you blush when you noticed it inches away from yours.

“What will we do? And besides, I don’t think my coach will let me go today.” he said sounding a bit bored. You smiled and raised your hand showing him your pale palm because of cold. Sunghoon’s eyes noticed it and realized even when you’ve been here a lot of times, you must’ve been still not used too with the cold.

“I can ask for his permission myself! You can just wait for me here.” you told him excitedly. The fact that he didn’t really straight up rejected your offered hyped you up.

He can’t even say anything else with what you said. He’s used to about your pursuing skills but he can’t believe you can go as far as that just for him. You smiled at him, making him blush a bit. You didn’t noticed it since you turned around and walked towards where his coach is probably.

You did see him talking to somebody so you patiently wait for them to finish. When you saw them bidding good-bye’s with each other, you straight up went closer to him.

“Coach-nim!” you called him out. When he noticed you, he kind of looked surprised because it is weekend. He do know you for someone who likes Sunghoon and visit him here often.

“oh, y/n-ah! What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to watch Sunghoon, coach-nim.” you smiled at him. He smiled as well finding it amusing how hard working you are for Sunghoon.

“Really? But Sunghoon’s not in good condition today, tho? He kept on making mistakes with his routines.” he sounded worried for him too. You pouted feeling worried once again.

“About that... can I snatch him from practice today? I feel like he’s under so much pressure lately that it stressed him out too much.” you said with both hands clasped together like as if you’re praying.

His brows furrowed and did noticed that Sunghoon did look like he’s under so much stress lately. With a smile, he gave you a small nod. You shrieked in happiness.

“Maybe Sunghoon do need to relax to lessen his stress.” he said. Both of you walked back to the ice rink together. You listened carefully with his reminders with you. He asked you to avoid heavy activities that might cause injury to Sunghoon.

“Sunghoon!” he called out the boy who’s in the middle of the ice rink and still trying to do some routines. He raised his head and looked over your direction. He slowly skate closer and his coach talked to him and his eyes darted over at you. After their talk, he skates outside the rink and gather all his stuff.

“I’ll just change. C-Can you wait for a bit?” he asked glancing away for a while because he’s shy. You chuckled and nodded excitedly at him.

“Where are we going?” he asked you as he followed behind you cutely. You turned your head towards him and saw him starring at you like a bored child.

He’s walking so slow, cutely waddling behind you. With a sigh and after you rolled your eyes, you decided to walk closer to him and pull him by his arm. “Can you just follow me?”

You didn’t told him where you two will be going because you wanted to surprise him. As you made it to the building, Sunghoon starred at it innocently. It’s obvious he haven’t been there before which is a good sign. As you pull him inside, he realized you took him to a pet cafe.

He grew a small smile over at his face because he do want to go here but because he can’t find himself asking his friends to go with him, he didn’t had the chance to. And besides, he don’t want to go alone.

“Y/n!” the owner already know you since you’re often here. You gave her a hug as her eyes darted over the tall figure behind you. He have this blank expression with his face but he did bowed a little to show manners.

“Who’s this fine man with you?” her eyes gave the two of you those teasing look. Sunghoon glanced away as he scratched the back of his head feeling shy as you blush as well.

“U-Unnie, this is Sunghoon. Sunghoon, meet f/n unnie. She’s a friend and she owns the cafe.” you said. He bowed again, still looked liked a snob. Your unnie’s moth went ‘o’ as she realized it’s the guy you’re always talk about.

“Oh! He’s Sunghoon! The one you always talk about!” she blurted out even before you can stop her. You blush hard as that caught Sunghoon’s attention. He looked at you and saw how your face was so red.

Slowly, a small smile spread through his face finding you cute. Before your Unnie can spill more about you talking about Sunghoon, you asked if you two can go inside and play with the dogs. She did let you in and thankfully let the two of you play with them peacefully.

“So you talk about me with other people?” Sunghoon was suddenly in the mood to tease you. He said that while you’re seating beside him busy feeding the dogs that were hovering you around.

You blushed once again as you lower down your head. It made him smile even more, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarra--”

“Nah, that’s okay. I just hope they’re all good things.” he said that made you raise your head to look at him. He’s not looking at you anymore but he have this small smile over his face as he play with the other dogs.

“Aaaaaack! No! They’re everywhere! Where is it? AAAAAA Y/n help!” you can’t stop laughing as you watch Sunghoon do the VR thing. You’ve never thought you’ll see this side of him. It was so cute!

He reached over you trying to get a hold of your arm for support but you moved away making him scream as the zombie in the game kept crowding him. He was gaining attention the moment you two entered the place because he’s so good-looking, now he gathered attention because he screamed so much.

You were having the best time of your life just by watching him enjoy (?) the VR. When he finished, it looked like he lost his soul and that made you laugh so hard. His head snapped over your direction then marched towards you making your shriek in terror and ran away. But he scooted you pretty quickly and spun you around once both of you end up laughing.

“I told you I don’t like the scary one!” he told you but you were still busy laughing. He then broke into a smile as he watch you laugh heartedly. It was a fun scene to enjoy.

You two spend the whole day just randomly trying new stuff together. It ended pretty well and without even realizing it, you two just grew closer to each other. Time passed by quickly and after enjoying the day, Sunghoon decided to walk you home already. You two were just silently walking side by side but it wasn’t awkward at all.

With hands holding an ice cream, you two trailed the way over to your house. As you arrived, you turned to face him smiling. You can’t describe how happy you’re currently feeling. It was just overwhelming.

“Thank you for today, Sunghoon! I really had fun.” with full sincerity, you told Sunghoon starring at his eyes. You blushed as you saw how his lips formed into a smile. His hand then reached out to you then gently messes your hair. You were dumbfounded for a moment.

“I should be the one thanking you.” he shortly replied. With your cheeks still blushing like crazy, you smiled at him.

“Are you feeling a bit better now?” you asked curiously, eyes getting a bit bigger with anticipation. Sunghoon smirked as he find you cute with that innocent looking face.

“I feel so much better now.” and he smiled once again. Your lips fell open when he showed you those smile again. You can’t even count how many times he smiled today! You are so happy that you’ve got to make him smile. Is this how a Park Sunghoon warms up to people?

“I’m glad I could help.” you felt shy when you realized you’ve been starring so much. After a small wave, he told you to go inside since it’s late already.

Feeling a bit sad that the day’s finally over, you pouted as you turn around then started walking towards your house. You were already near the house when he suddenly called out for you.

“Y/n!” you were fast to turned back around waiting for what he’s gonna say.

Showing off his boyish grin, he told you, “Next weekend, do you want to skate?” your heart beat went crazy the moment you heard him say that. Is he asking you to hang out with him?

“That sounds so fun but I don’t know how to skate!” you ended it with a pout that made him chuckled softly.

“That’s fine, you got me beside you the whole time. You’ve got the best trainer with you.” and he even raised his fist cutely. Your smile got bigger, looking at him.

You raised your fist at mid-air too, “Yay! I’m excited!”

“You’re here.” he noticed you right away when you entered the arena. He’s the only one in the middle the rink and as usual, Sunghoon looked fine. The week passed by like a blur. With the exams nearing, everyone was busy and Sunghoon was busy with practices as well so he didn’t went to school that much.

“Hi.” you greeted shyly. You don’t know what’s up with you but you’re extra shy today. Knowing that he invited you to be here this time and that you didn’t come here uninvited feels so great.

He smiled, “Let’s gear you up first!” he sounded excited. Well he is excited. He really did had so much fun last weekend so he’s really looking forward to making you try skating. He skate towards the exit so he can go out of the rink and help you with the figure skates. He told you he’ll provide one so you won’t have to worry about it.

Sunghoon helped you wearing it, like literally he made you sit down and he’s the one who wear it to your feet. After that, you started feeling nervous again just by thinking of going inside the rink. But despite of the worried feeling, you were excited. Excited to know more of him by joining in one of the things he values the most.

“Okay, careful. I’ll hold unto you, don’t worry.” he was very patient as he guides you inside the rink. As expected it wasn’t easy, but having Sunghoon beside you sure helped a lot.

Step by step, he tried teaching you the basics. He told you how you can safely land to prevent injuries and what to do to keep your balance and so on. Slowly, you did some progress faster than you expected.

“Woah, you’re talented!” he exclaimed and right after he said that you fell flat your butt.

There’s a couple seconds of silence before you two broke into laughter. It didn’t hurt but it sure is embarrassing but making it as a source of laughter eases it down. He skates easily towards you to help you get up.

“Chase me down, y/n! I’ll buy you ice cream if you can touch me even for once!” he suddenly told you as he dash away from you. You shrieked at him but tried your very best to catch him.

He played with you pretty badly as he kept on skating fast when you just learned how to do it. With a pout you finally gave up. He chuckled finding you cute as he slowly approached you.

“Since you worked hard, I’ll give you consolation price.” he said with a smirk over his face.

“What is it?” you asked curious.

“Ice cream.”

You laughed, "Your price is ice cream and your consolation price is ice cream too?" you asked finding it funny. He just nodded his head like an excited kid.

When he near you, you smiled at him. “Why don’t you do some routines for me? I’ll be here and watch.” you suddenly suggested.

Sunghoon's eyes darted you and you saw something flickered into his eyes. He smirked as he ran his hand over his hair once.

“What do I get in return?” he asked you teasing. You pursed your lips in a pout trying to think of something you can bribe him.

On the other hand, Sunghoon was busy eyeing your puckered lips. It was so red like your cheeks because of the cold. He gulped trying to look away but his eyes trail back over to your lips for some reason. He tilted his head a bit trying to shrug off the taught.

“What do you want then?” you ended up just asking him. You can’t think of things to bribe him so you decided to just ask him. You’re pretty sure you’ll try and give it to him just to see him skate exclusively for you today.

He smirked slowly skating towards you.

“How about a kiss?” your smile faltered at what you just heard from him.

You even thought you heard the wrong thing. Are you that crazy for him that you actually misheard him asking you for a kiss? Aaaa. Unhealthy.

You shook your head a bit, “H-Huh?” you asked trying to make him say it again to be clear.

He smirked and made it in front of you. Feeling nervous you slid your feet away from him but he was quick enough to go closer. He leaned downward so your eyes will be at the same level.

"a kiss?”

Your cheeks turned so hot as your eyed starred intensely through each other. He showed you a boyish grin showing off that cute vampire teeth at the corner. You gulped, trying to show him it didn’t affect you that much even though you can feel your heart going crazy inside of you.

“O-Okay! A kiss in the cheek if you do the routine perfectly.” slowly leaning away you saw his smirk towards you.

“I didn’t say anything about cheeks. What do you think of me, a child? I want a kiss in the lip---” you were quick enough to interrupt what he was saying.

“Go on and start with it Park Sunghoon. I repeat, I want it to be perfect. I’ll be very strict.” you tried shutting off what he just saying. He chuckled finding it cute that you kept changing the topic.

He did a playful salute. “Yes, Ma'am.” and he swiftly skate towards the middle. Sunghoon felt at ease as he started doing the routines he’s been practicing for his next competition. He was completely into it when he started skating gracefully. Your mouth fell open as you watch his every moves. He’s very talented and it feels like he's really born to skate.

You can’t help but to feel a bit teary eyed when you saw him smiling while skating. He really do enjoy it so much. As he gracefully do everything without any mistakes, you just find your heart beating like crazy. It's like it’s rejoicing because the person who she belongs to.

Wiping off the tears away quickly before he can even see it, Sunghoon was smiling brightly as he approach you closer.

“How’s that?”

“Perfect.” you muttered right away. He smiled and leaned downward towards you.

You get it right away so you blushed furiously then sighed heavily trying to calm yourself down. He smirked as he tapped his cheeks where he wants you to give him a kiss. With another big sigh, you decided to lean fast to ease the racing of your heart.

But Sunghoon suddenly turned his head purposely causing both of your lips crashing into each other. Your eyes grew big as you became dumbfounded at the moment. He copied your expression making you feel flustered even more. He started skating away and you tried to catch him behind.

“Yah! Come back here!”

“Catch me first!”

And you two continued the day by just playing with each other in the rink growing closer and developing something special between the two of you.

As Monday came, you were early in school because you had to copy some notes in one subject that you happen to miss because of a club meeting. You're too busy with what you were doing that you didn’t noticed Sunghoon entering the room. Girls inside the room greeted him that he didn’t really bothered responding to. They were used to it tho, he’s naturally like that.

But what they didn’t expect is when he smiled a little as he approach the seat beside you. Finding you too occupied by what you were writing, he suddenly covered your eyes from behind.

You smiled after being shock for a while, “Park Sunghoon, i’m copying notes right now.” you muttered that made him smirk as he lets go from you.

“How did you know?”

“Your hands were too cold. How’s practice?” you asked. He's from practice and he went straight here for class that’s why his hands were cold.

He sat down beside you as he kept your eyes glued at you. It’s like there’s nobody else inside the room, it’s like it’s just the two of you. For him, you’re one of the few people he freely lets into his world.

You fished something from your bag then handed it over to him then you continued writing once again. Sunghoon looked over at what you handed him with confused eyes.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Hot packs. I bought them on my way here. I figured your hands would be so cold so I decided to buy you some.” you told him like it was nothing. But without you knowing, you just caught him off guard. You’re naturally caring but he didn’t know if he deserve something as great as this.

He didn’t even notice he grew attached to you. With a small smile he opened the hot packs and kept smiling like an idiot beside you.

The students around you were obviously amused at how you two were acting. The girls envied how affectionate he is towards you. They’ve never seen him like that. Suddenly, the Ice Prince is now warm towards someone. It sure is interesting.

The days continued like that. You two becoming more close to each other. You often spend time together and find it odd whenever one of you is not around. It’s like you two can’t be a part from each other anymore.

“Where are you going?” he asked when he noticed you rising up from your seat.

You looked at him and smiled, “I’m just going to the rest room.” you told him.

He gave you a short nod trying hard not to ask you if he can go and accompany you. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s a creep or something.

You hurried yourself to the bathroom when you feel a bit off. Lately, you noticed that you’re not feeling well. You often just shrug it off telling yourself that maybe it’s just because you didn’t have enough sleep or something. The moment you arrived at the bathroom, you felt yourself coughing so you did. It was a bit hard and made your chest ache a bit.

As you raise your head to look in the mirror, you were confused as you saw blood streaming down your nose.

Sunghoon grew so attached to you that’s why when you suddenly skipped class for almost a week now, he grew worried of you. He didn’t want to make you think he’s too clingy or anything so he tried really hard not to go to your house. Maybe you’re on a vacation. But without telling him? You often tell things to him.

Feeling so frustrated about it, he decided to approach your friend. He never talked to her but for you, he’ll do it.

“f/n.” he called her out with cold flat voice.

She turned her head towards him a little shock that Park Sunghoon is in front of her. The students together with her was dumbfounded as well.

“Uh, do you know where Y/n is or is anything happened to her?”

She felt something lights up inside of her that make her happy seeing how Sunghoon really warmed up for you. She realized that you really did melt the ice in him but she slowly felt a bit sad for the two of you.

She tried pulling off a smile for him.

“She was sick for days so she can’t go to school, Sunghoon.” she saw how he furrowed his brows. When it comes to you, he sure do shows a lot of expressions.

"why she didn’t tell me?” she shrugged her shoulder off.

“maybe she didn’t want to worry you.” he wasn’t convinced. He’s still furrowing his brows.

He clenched his jaw as he nodded at her, “Okay. I’ll just go and see her later.

”Her eyes grew big, “No! U-Uh, she’ll go to school tomorrow so you don’t have to check on her anymore.” even if she sounded a bit suspicious for Sunghoon, to hear that you’re finally going to school sure excites him.

He nodded and turned his back at her after saying a soft thank you.

“Sunghoon!” to hear your voice sure made him so happy but he made sure he didn’t show it. He turned around showing off a serious expression. 

His eyes trailed from your hair down to your feet. There you are, walking closer to him. He didn’t even realize how much he missed you until you’re now here again in front of him.

He rolled his eyes. “What made you think it’s a good decision not to tell me that you’re sick?” he asked you with furrowed brows.

You kept your smile, to see him again after so long just made you so happy. To see him in front of you looking so worried makes you somewhat happy because it just showed how he cares for you.

But it also makes you so scared. How come all of this is happening right after you became close to the person you love? You felt so guilty for making him grew close to you and seeing him getting attach to you just makes it even more hurtful.

Why does all of this have to happen after you melted the Ice Prince’s ice?

Sunghoon noticed right away that you’re unusually pale. Your lips aren’t as red as always and your face seems like it lost weight.

He raised his hand to cup your face, “Why are you so pale? Are you still sick?” he asked, worry lures over his tone.

Stopping yourself from crying you smiled, shaking your head lightly. “I’m fine now.” you lied.

“I have something for you.” you said changing the topic. He furrowed his brow as he looked down over the gift you prepared for him.

Since you’ve been gone for a week, you missed a lot of things including Sunghoon’s match. He did won and you were so proud of him.

“What’s this?” Sunghoon asked eyes glued over to the present.

You pouted, “I’m sorry I couldn’t attend your match.” you started feeling a bit more emotional. Starting to feel a little ache over your chest, you tried to dismiss the thought.

“It doesn’t matter. As long as you’re okay now.” he told you and brushed away some strands of hair away from your pale face.

He clenched his jaw while he examined you. He couldn’t tell what’s up but something sure is wrong. 

You smiled trying really hard to stop yourself from crying. You handed him the gift again making him raise up his head to you.

Your eyesight slowly became blurry as the pain in your body kind of became impossible to ignore.

As he looked back to you, his brows furrowed when he saw blood rushing down to your nose.

“Are you okay? Y/n!” he was fast enough to catch you when you lost consciousness. He tried to wake you up as he called out for help.

Your friend saw and quickly dialed your parent’s number. Everyone’s shock at what’s happening. Sunghoon was panicking as he stared at your unconscious self.

“Sunghoon, carry her. Let’s take her out of the building. We already called the ambulance.” Sunghoon looked up over to his friend, Heeseung

He nodded and easily carried you. As he ran while you’re over his arm, he doesn’t know how much fear he was feeling. To have you over his arm looking like that scared him so much. He doesn’t know what’s happening to you or what’s wrong. He’s never been this scared in his life.

“y/n! Hold on, baby.” he whispered eyes getting a bit teary and lips shaking.

All you can hear was muffled sound. You feel like you’re whole body was so heavy and that you’re in somewhere deep. Everything was dark but you sure can hear familiar voices around you.

You can hear your Mom’s soft cries, your Dad’s voice that’s trying to calm her down. But there were nowhere around. You can’t see anything but dark. It feared you.

“Y/n, sweetie.” you can hear your Mom called out for you.

As you feel warm hands gently massaging your arm, like as if some force pulled you, your eyes slowly opened to be greeted by a familiar room.

“U-Umma...” heads snapped towards you. You saw your Mother smiled warmly at you. She looked so happy despite  of the tears all over her eyes.

As you roam your eyes around, your heart pounded when you realized you’re back at the hospital. Where they kept you for a week... away from Sunghoon.

Sunghoon...

You were with him. And as if on cue, Sunghoon’s tall figure came into your line of sight. You saw his worried and at the same time relieved face. His eyes... it isn’t cold. It was like it just finished from crying.

Your eyes cried as you glanced away from him, guilty. Pain was all over your body but the pain in your heart for him was the one that stands out the most.

“I don’t want to be here! I wanna go home, umma!” You started crying loudly making everyone go in panic.

Your brother looked over Sunghoon and asked if he can call the doctor that he quickly agreed too. You fainted two days before and ever since, he can’t sleep properly.

When he was on his way back to your room, he heard you crying to your family. He stopped from walking inside deciding that he should go and give you guys some privacy. But before your feet can even move, he heard you mentioning his name.

“He can’t know about my condition, umma! Please, just tell him not to go here anymore! I don't want to see him! He’s just gonna be sad, it’ll hurt him. It’s my fault appa!” you cried hardly. He clenched his fist as he heard you say those words.

“I’m gonna die. I’ll leave him soon, it’ll break him.” Sunghoon’s eyes watered as he heard you say those words.

To hear that you’ve got Leukemia felt like his whole world colapsed, to hear it actually from you, just hits him too hard.

“Y/n! You’re not gonna die! We’re here for you. The doctor’s said you can still make it. Honey, you won’t die.” Your Mom told you but you just kept crying.

Your brother reached over your hand as both your parents hugged you, crying. You looked over your brother and it broke him. To see his sister at a state like this, pale and full of pain was hard for him. He’s not used to it.

“Oppa, i don’t want my ice prince sad. I don’t want to see him sad, please.” your plea hurts him even more. Sunghoon heard everything and he was sad as well. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to stay beside you.

He loves you, and if anything, this is the time where you need him the most. He won’t disappoint you.

Sunghoon didn’t visit for days. You kind of admit, you missed his presence. But you thought, it’s also for the best.

“Y/n, honey? Do you want to go at the rooftop?” you turned over your Mom and she’s smiling at you.

You lost weight pretty fast than expected. You‘re starting to feel your whole body to ache more often too. With a nod, you decided to go to the place in this hospital that somehow ease your worries.

Slowly, you and your Mom went over the rooftop. But after she opened the entrance, you already started bursting into tears.

There were cute decorations everywhere. Some of your relatives were there. As your Mom slowly guides you at the center, your eyes met a pair of familiar eyes.

The eyes of the person you’ve been missing.

“W-what are you doing here?” you asked towards him.

He smiled a little approaching you while holding a beautiful bouquet of red roses. Your eyes watered and so does the people around you.

“I love you, y/n.”

Of course you’re aware of what he felt towards you. That’s why you knew as well he’ll be so sad if he knew about your condition.

You tried smiling even when tears stream down your eyes, “Acute Myeloid Leukemia said no, Sunghoon. It said I’m all his.” you tried to say it as a joke.

He shed tears as well and it broke you. You didn’t know looking at him standing in front of you hurt. You're scared to leave this people around you.

“Call him out then, baby. Let’s beat him together. Let’s beat that cancer together.” your eyes looked over his hand that was reaching out for you. With eyes full of tears, you reached out for it.

Sunghoon pulled you into a hug as everyone cheered around you. He was happy to have you around his arms. He loves you so much that he’ll never leave you.

“I’m scared, Sunghoon.” you cried over his chest. He dropped a kiss over your head before whispering, “I know, but I’ll be just here for you. We’ll all be here for you.”

You nodded your head and that where it all started. That's where you’re fight with cancer started. You struggled a lot but he made sure he was there. He made sure you know he was with you in every trials.

It was decided that the only way to cure you was a bone marrow transplant. The doctor said that if the operation went well, you’ll be good. You’ll live. It wasn’t easy to look for a donor. You’ve waited and waited. And Sunghoon was with you all along. Months passed by and you’re love just grew even more stronger.

He stayed with you always and had proved his love to you. He was very patient at you and always make sure hat you’re well and everything. He was there to cheer you up every time you feel like losing hope, he’s there to make you happy, he’s there to calm you down and he’s there to keep you on fighting. You’re just beyond thankful for him.

Then it finally happened, with tears all over your eyes you called Sunghoon. He was in the middle of practice for a competition.

“Baby! Is everything alright?” he picked up right away.

“Sunghoon...”

His heart thumped in worry.

“Tell me what baby? You’re making me nervous right now.”

“The doctor called... She said I already have a donor.”

Sunghoon was silent in the other line. He was crying. This time, happy tears. It felt like all your wait was all worth it.

“You’ll be alright.” Sunghoon said to you while smiling. You’re already in your hospital gown.

“I’ll see you guys later.” you tried to look brave for all of them. Sunghoon smiled at you as he leaned forward giving you a smack over your lips.

“Come back to me healthy, okay?” he muttered.

You nodded your head and waved at them. You were taken at the room where they’ll perform the surgery.

“Are you ready, y/n?” your doctor asked you.

You nodded as you slowly felt your eyes getting heavy.

“Do you promise to get me ice cream after?” you pouted over at Sunghoon who’s leaning over the railings.

He nodded smiling at you with a cocky grin, “If you can beat me, baby.” and he slid his way towards you to give you a kiss at your lips.

You frowned at your boyfriend, “Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair here? You’re asking me to race you!”

He smiled at your cuteness and just shrugged his shoulders off. You rolled your eyes, surrendering.

You finally concurred cancer. Sunghoon did stayed with you and never left your side. He was so happy that you’re okay now and that he can spend the rest of his life with you. For him, to be given the opportunity of meeting you is just life-turn event. You were his happiness. 

When you started sliding through the ice, you were smiling at the thought you’re getting ahead of him only to be surprised when he hugged you suddenly.

"i love you, y/n."

You smiled warmly returning the hug. “I love you, Sunghoon. Thank you for staying beside me.”

He smiled, “Thank you for not leaving me and for fighting.” and he leaned towards you kissing you passionately.

main master-list

campus heart-throb teaser

[death2normalcy]

Since I’m officially done with the main guides to Stray Kids, I figured I’d do a couple fun guides, just for, well, fun. I’m done with the dynamics, but I didn’t want to stop making these, lmao. So, I thought it would be interesting to kind of explain the boys music, kind of like a summary of all the music they’ve put out. Not each song individually, that may be too much. But maybe the albums/mini albums/ EPs, etc.

This post once again skips around a bit and talks about the two compilation albums they made that includes their remade songs.

(Most of the info was taken from Wikipedia, or from my own listen of the album. I’ve gotten bits and pieces from other areas, but yea. If I got something wrong, or missed something important, please let me know!)

SKZ 2020

released in March 2020.

this one was released as a physical copy in Japan.

actually a compilation album, as well as their Japanese debut.

27 tracks in total, however, they are almost all re-recorded tracks that were remade after Woojin left the group in 2019.

there’s also 3 songs that were recorded in Japanese (My Pace, Double Knot, and Levanter)

the re-recorded songs on this one are: hellevator, beware, spread my wings, yayaya, district 9, mirror, grow up, my pace, voices, question, m.i.a., awkward silence, i am you, get cool, miroh, victory song, boxer, chronosaurus, 19,  side effects, tmt, double knot, levanter, and astronaut

no new music videos, that I can tell, as this was mainly just a compilation album

there’s a lot that’s been said about these re-recordings, for sure. i’m not here to talk about all that, as this is meant to just be a guide, but if you’re interested in that kind of stuff, some stays have been vocal about their thoughts.

i think that other members were able to shine more in these newer versions and i’m grateful for that. one standout for me specifically is han on chronosaurus, but a lot of the vocal line is given more time to shine and it’s fantastic.

Peak Position - 3 on Japanese Albums chart.

SKZ 2021

released in December 2021, digitally only.

this is another compilation album that contains re-recorded versions of their previous songs minus Woojin.

this album contains 14 tracks, including the Korean version of scars.

it also contains the previous mixtapes, #1-5, only under their original titles, which in order are, placebo, behind the light, for you, broken compass, and hoodie season.

other songs featured on this album: awaken, rock, 3rd eye, insomnia, my side, n/s, 0325, and maze of memories

again, no music videos for this specific album. also, i don’t think this was an image for the album, but as i couldn’t seem to find out, i just used it.

WAIT. I almost forgot, there was a video. hold on, i’m gonna just copy and paste from wikipedia

The special music video of "Placebo", stated that it was made by the group's alter ego as SKZ Company personnel from their online program SKZ Code, was released on December 24.

Peak position - 5 on Japanese Digital Albums

there were a couple of songs that were never re-recorded. i’m unsure of why the exact reasoning is, maybe because they contained lyrics by woojin, or some other technical reason. either way, they are hero’s soup, school life, glow and 4419

Overall, not much to say about these two. I just wanted to make a quick post and get them out, so I can move on to other things, lol.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Got hit by my first wave of inspiration for a while, and decided to ride it out instead of fighting it. So, for anyone who wants it... have Mc’s first meeting with Zoo!Naga Skull. (Yes, the one that ended in kidnapping ;) )

Nervous was an understatement.

“Keep track of him at all times. Always make sure you can get to the door, never let him cut you off. Don’t underestimate him just because he’s blindfolded.”

You could feel your heart hammering in your chest so loudly it was getting hard to pay full attention to Maggie, the senior zoo staff member in front of you, hard to keep a grip on the large and heavy bucket of meat clenched tightly in one hand and the hooked feeding pole in the other. You weren’t even supposed to be doing this, you were too low down on the zoo staff ladder... you should’ve been feeding the little snakes or the herbivores, you should be years away from this level of care! The naga were already leagues above your pay grade, and now they wanted you to feed the biggest one of them all!?

I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be doing this. You cringed- but I can’t refuse, I need this job!

“Talk to him, move loudly, make sure he knows where you are because the last thing you want is to spook him. I know you’ve had good experiences with the other two naga but that doesn’t mean you should ever let your guard down, understand?”

“... Yes.” You said, voice barely above a whisper, grip sweaty on the feeding pole. You couldn’t help it, your eyes flicked down to her left hand- the one she didn’t have anymore, the one that had just a wrist stump remaining.

“... You’ll be fine. We’ll all be watching, if something does happen for some reason we can get in and help you.” She took on a slightly more comforting tone, noticing your line of sight. Her injury was the reason she wasn’t the one bringing the naga his food, given her senior position and superior experience. “I got this when I was young and cocky, and because I followed the safety protocol I lost a hand and not a neck. So long as you stick to the rules and don’t do anything stupid, you won’t have a problem with him. Ok?”

“A-are you sure I’m...”

“Yes, you’re ready. You’ve dealt with the other two.” She cut over you, turning you by the shoulder. “Now go, before Skull gets hungrier.”

And just like that, you were pushed through the door of the enclosure, that shut firmly behind you. The secondary door opened... and despite the fact that every part of you was cold and shaking, you had no choice but to go forward. As scared as you were, someone needed to get the naga fed... someone needed to go straight into the beast’s den.

... You stepped into the enclosure.

It was built to resemble a near-surface cave; the walls and floor were made of slightly uneven smoothed stone, with a few windowed ‘cracks’ in the fake stalactite ceiling providing enough daylight to see by. There were some interesting objects to provide a little enrichment, like ‘boulders’, patches of fake grass, a little filtered waterfall dribbling into a relatively shallow pool... and a small tunnel, leading to a den with no windows he could juuust about curl up in so he could have some privacy.

... Inside that den, you could see a hint of a steely blue-grey... scales.

... You sucked in a tiny breath through your nose, and stepped further forward, following the zoo protocol of tapping the metal end of the pole lightly against the bucket of food to let him know it was feeding time. It took a moment for there to be a reaction, but... slowly, surely, the mass of muscle resting inside the den began to shift.

Giant claws hooked over the stone edges of the den entrance, bone hands as big as your head... the thing about Red and Sans is they were very vocal naga, Sans regularly hissing and snarling and Red making curious rattling and purring sounds. But with Skull... there was nothing but the low sliding sound of scales against rock, that sounded long and oh-so heavy.

... He emerged, head moving into the light, vicious cranium crack and tight fitted black blindfold plain to see... with just his skeletal torso out he was already almost as big as you. A shot of panic doused your system and you had to clench your teeth together to stop yourself from crying, or dropping everything and bolting back through the door. The rest of him followed after; the long snake tail that made up over three quarters of his body length coiling behind him as he raised himself up, gathering like a loosened rope, thicker than you were wide... faded blue and littered with scars that just didn’t seem to catch the light in the same way the other two nagas did.

He was... huge. You knew this already, but there was something different about seeing him with nothing in the way.

... You had to swallow the terror again, no longer able to tap on the food bucket as your hands were shaking too much. I’m fine. I’m fine. The door is right behind me.

... He was keeping his distance from you, head turned downward slightly, facing in the direction of the bucket. A flash of blue around his mouth- his forked tongue flickering rapidly, which could either signal curiosity, hunger or both. The pounding in your chest became more intense.

“... H-hey, big guy.” You stammered, keeping your voice as gentle as possible, as low and soft as you could in order to not spook him. He reacted immediately, his head cocking a little, raising to face directly at you instead of the bucket as if making eye contact despite the blindfold- just get this over with, (y/n), just get this over with. “...  I-I’m... supposed to talk to you, to let you know where I am... talking worked with the other two, I... h-hope it works with you, too.”

You put the bucket on the ground, sliding a decently heavy chunk of the special treated naga-friendly meat onto it. Skull had a unique feeding hook; it was much longer than usual, slightly difficult to handle, but reinforced along the inside to facilitate easier feeding from a distance. You raised the pole with the hung meat and slid it slowly closer to him, keeping careful watch of the way his tongue would flicker toward the food... you were so ready to bolt. You just needed to get this done.

“I’m, uhm...” You felt like an idiot. You could feel all the other staff members watching. “The food’s on the hook. You probably know that already, but...”

... He moved forward and caught the chunk straight off the hook, swallowing it without any chewing or pausing, then going immediately back to sitting there, patiently, watching. Waiting for more. You brought the hook back, putting on another piece, moving it toward him again... careful to keep hold on the pole despite your sweaty palms.

... He was eating as quickly as your unpractised snail-pace would allow, but most notably.. without issue. You finally felt a droplet of relief in the sea of fear; he was eating normally, he wasn’t being aggressive or trying to approach... this was going pretty well, for your first time feeding the moodiest naga in the zoo.

“... There we go. Good, this is going good. Please don’t eat me.” You half-joked, repeating the process. Retract pole, hook meat, offer it out. Starting to get into a rhythm. “... I hope you’re always this relaxed with me. That would be really helpful.”

He took the meat again, obediently. You let out a tiny sigh; the more he just did what he was supposed to, the calmer and more comfortable you felt. He’d probably learned by now that it was just best to get the food offered, instead of biting the hand that was feeding him.

... Or biting it off.

“... Everyone’s watching. I think they’re waiting for me to mess up. Do something dumb and get kicked out.” You mumbled. You felt... surprisingly not-awkward? Sometimes, when you spoke to the animals, you felt weird because they clearly didn’t care... but in this case, you got a strange feeling from the way his head would twitch and follow you despite the meat, how his tongue would flicker only when you’d stopped talking. It felt like he was... actually listening?

Besides. Nobody could fault you for talking to the naga to keep it calm and not-murderous as you passed him food from as large a distance as possible, right? If it worked, it worked, and you kept your limbs.

“... There we go.” You said, as you passed him the last piece- you then tapped the side of the empty bucket with the hook like you’d been told to, so he’d hear the hollow sound and understand there was no more food, before you picked it up again. You felt... a lot less terrified? Still nervous, but not like you were about to throw up. 

“... Uhm... thank you.” Your voice was still pretty small. “For... being calm. I appreciate it.”

... He stayed where he was. You felt, again, like he was watching you, despite him having no vision.

...

You took a step back, ready to go back through the door and throw up... but as soon as your foot sounded against the stone floor...

Everything about him changed. 

His lips and teeth parted... and the most powerful hiss you’d ever heard filtered out, filling the room, tearing through the air and right through your body. Like someone had set off a huge firework but it just kept hissing and hissing and hissing, deep and loud and intertwined with an open-mouthed growl, it echoed off the walls and shook everything inside. It was as if someone had flipped a switch in his head, something inside him had snapped; his shoulders rose, tail beginning to move across the floor and rearrange itself. It sounded like... a warning.

You froze, heart dropping into your stomach, all the warmth and colour draining from your face.

...Oh no.

... The hissing stopped, but he kept his new position. He’d stopped in a more aggressive, coiled posture like a tightened spring, tongue now flickering constantly.

...

“... Maggie.” You said, voice cracking, essentially calling for help. Your eyes were locked onto him, you couldn’t remember any of the safety protocols for aggressive naga, every part of you was petrified, you couldn’t feel your hands or toes you could only feel the pounding in your own head. You were afraid to blink- it was going TOO well, I’ve used up my luck, it’s all gonna go wrong now!

“... Okay, just relax.” You heard her voice over the exhibit speaker system but you daren’t turn your head away to look at where she was. “He probably just doesn’t trust you yet, and is getting possessive over food he thinks might still be in the bucket. Okay? Use the pole to push the bucket toward him.”

You swallowed, following her advice; you set the bucket down without taking your gaze off him as if your feet were glued to the earth, and then used the end of the pole to push the bucket across the floor. It made an ugly scraping/rattling sound as it moved.

... He wasn’t even turning toward it. He wasn’t paying attention to it. His attention seemed steadfastly on you, if his head direction was any way to tell. You were sweating, your neck hairs were prickling.

“Alright. Now back away slowly.”

... One step back.

He immediately started hissing again, even louder this time, with deafening aggravation... he lowered his head.

A strike position.

You didn’t hear Maggie’s shout over the speaker system, you could hear nothing but your heart and his hissing. The rabbit-like urge to RUN overtook your whole body, something in you shattered, and you staggered backward with the intent to turn and dive for the door.

... The speed at which he crossed the entire enclosure would’ve been incredible in any other circumstance. 

He lurched with all the power readied in the wound muscles in his tail, striking forward so quickly it was like he vanished from his spot, and suddenly you were screaming as the pole was knocked out of your hands. Suddenly something huge and hard was gripping you and your clothes and your legs went out from under you, the world was dark and turning and you brought your hands up over your head in an instinctive defensive posture, you faintly heard the sound of dozens of voices shouting out in synchrony but everything was ringing, the heels of your boots were dragging so quickly across the floor it felt like the friction was going to burn through them and kicking your legs into nothingness as a pathetic attempt at attack/escape did genuinely nothing, you cried out...

... And then just like that, your body came to a halt; you’d stopped moving.

You opened your eyes, forcing in deep terrified breaths, finding yourself in almost total darkness and taking only a few milliseconds to realise you were inside his den. It was so cramped and the floor and walls were moving, why were they moving, you put out a hand to try and steady yourself or get to your feet...

...

That wasn’t the floor or walls. Your hand landed on smooth, hard scales.

You were on him. You were on his coiled tail.

You made a sound you could only describe as a broken whimper-cry of fear and tried to sit up and get some control, but it was almost impossible as he was still moving, his body shifting and writhing underneath you and forcing you to only sink deeper into his scales, deeper into his hold. Something wound around you, starting from your chest and moving down to your knees, binding your legs together- and the scariest part was that you could feel the power as he shifted, you could feel the strength behind the scales when they pressed against you. He was a living muscle, and with little more than a flex he could squeeze, and you’d go squish.

That’s what’s going to happen. He’s going to constrict me to death! Your breathing was getting so fast your chest was heaving, you tried to push the coils on your middle but it was like pushing the unmoving floor, you were getting dizzy with panic, you started to beat them with your fists, S-someone help me-!

His face came into view. Hovering over you, only just silhouetted by the light creeping into the entrance of the den.

... Once again, everything in your body just... stopped. 

All thought, all movement, everything froze, as you stared up at him with wide eyes.

... He’d removed his own blindfold. A bright, blood red ring was gazing down at you... fuzzy around the edges, the hole in the centre nothing but a dot.

... His own movements were slowing, as he apparently settled on the position he was in. You were almost horizontal, your head lifted up ever-so-slightly, everything lower than your chest totally bound and covered and crushed under more of his body. He was so close.

...

He was warm. Like summer’s day. And he was... just staring.

...

You could hear absolute havoc breaking outside of his den. But even so, your breathing was slowing... you were calming, despite it all. Something about his eye... the way he was hanging his head... how his tongue just ever-so-slightly peeked out of his mouth, as if only curious...

... How he hadn’t killed you yet. He wasn’t squeezing. You felt so, so very tiny, trapped in the coils of a giant naga...

Why hasn’t he...?

...

A single, sharp phalange moved over to your face. You naturally flinched leaned away at the sight of such huge claws coming close, sucking in a breath... and as soon as you did, he... paused? He took a moment, with his your-head-sized hand just hanging there... 

... Like he was giving you a second? He held your eye.

... When he started moving again, he moved so slowly. So gently... and he turned the hand over, brushing the back of his thick knuckle across your cheek with a feather-light touch. His hands were warm, too.

...

It was a like a cat, the way his eyelight widened, blowing to fill his whole socket.

He seemed to lose whatever self control was making him move slowly, and instead his massive head leant in, before you could so much as muster the energy or presence of mind to squeak he pressed his face flush against the side of yours with his teeth just under your ear. Instead you just let in another tiny breath of shock and felt a shiver travel across the whole length of your body- he was nuzzling, with an unmistakable joy, parts of his tail moving ever-so-slightly like he just couldn’t contain himself. In amongst the gleeful nuzzling he took a few inquisitive breaths in your hair, his tongue flickering out and surprising you with how ticklish it was- you brought your shoulder up in defence but he seemed to like that tiny reaction and did it again, chasing your sensitive spots.

“G- ah, stop!” You said, but less out of fear and more out of ticklishness- you couldn’t get away from him, it was like being fussed by a giant overly affectionate puppy. He was breathing right down your ear, and his breath and tongue made everything prickle, you tried to put your hands over your neck but he wasn’t having it. “... G-guys? Guys, are you out there?!”

You distinctly heard someone mutter ‘oh my God, she’s alive’, before a sharp “Play dead! We’re coming to get you!” sounded pretty close to the den. 

... You saw Skull’s reaction- and by saw, you meant heard and felt. As soon as he seemed to realise they were approaching the entrance to his hide, he stopped nuzzling, face still against your neck... and a slow, upset snarl began to filter out of his chest, and seeing as you were surrounded by him it was deep and so close it was vibrating your insides. At the same time, his snake body shifted and started to tighten, slowly moving to cover you more, bring you in further into his coils... trap you underneath.

“N-no, no!” You said, panic at possibly being constricted to death rearing its head again. “Don’t come any closer without sedatives, please!”

“... What the hell’s going on in there?!”

“H-he’s just... he’s just got me wrapped up.” You stammered, swallowing, wishing you could see them instead of the den ceiling right now; your voice had a strange, echoing quality inside the small space. “I-I can’t move. When you come closer it agitates him and he squeezes. Don’t come closer. Please just go get sedatives.”

“... Are you sure you’re okay in there?” You could hear them backing up, thank fuck. And he could definitely hear them too, noticeably relaxing. “It’s gonna take us a while to get anything strong enough for him.”

... Skull let out a strange, deathly soft hiss, apparently really liking your hair... so quiet, only the two of you could hear it. His scales were warm, and although you were trapped, it almost felt like he’d deliberately trapped you in this reclined position in order to make sure you were comfortable in his grip.

...

“Y-yeah, I... I think I’m fine for now. Just please don’t take too long.”

[bubble-tea-bunny]

come fly with me

[hermes x reader]

author’s note: every time i see his name i pronounce it like the brand out of  habit even if there’s no accent grave lol

word count: 2,572

You sense the bright light of morning through your closed lids and it prompts you to wake. But even as your eyes slide open, you still feel as though you’re dreaming.

A man is kneeling down next to you. You don’t know who he is but perceive he means no harm, for his gaze as he observes you is concerned, no doubt wondering what you’re doing out here. You don’t remember falling asleep outside, but the weather has been so nice as of late, you wouldn’t put it past yourself to have drifted off after laying beneath the stars, simply appreciating their magnificence.

As your vision comes more into focus, and the blurred edges merge into finer lines, you note that the sun shines behind this stranger’s head, and it appears remarkably like a halo. Your focus slides lower, drifts over brown hair pulled back into a neat braid to avoid obscuring his face, the highlight of which are his eyes—brilliantly blue, like crystals, and putting the backdrop behind him to shame. He’s beautiful.

Suddenly you’re nervous to be the center of his attention, so rapt it’s like he can see right through you. You must look a disheveled mess in contrast, your own hair tousled, your eyes bleary with the last bits of sleep. But as if he can hear your thoughts, he smiles gently, a gesture to put you at ease.

“Hello,” he greets you. His voice is hushed, taking care not to disturb the peace of these early hours, and it’s warm, washing over your skin and fighting away the chill of the cool evening.

You open your mouth, poised to speak, but at first nothing comes out, though from nervousness or from the fact your vocal chords are still waking up after hours of not being used, you don’t know.

“I… I must have fallen asleep out here,” you state rather dumbly, because what else could it have been? It’s not as if anyone had carried you out here in the middle of the night. Your cheeks redden from embarrassment but the man’s smile widens, amused and—if you aren’t imagining things, owed to the idea that maybe you really are dreaming—charmed. Though for what reason, you haven’t the slightest clue.  You struggle to call yourself a picture of grace at any other point in a day, least of all fresh from sleep.

“It seems you have,” he responds. “I imagine it was comfortable?”

Not wanting to continue this conversation while still laying down, since it’s a little awkward, you sit up, and he backs away slightly to give you space. The notion of sleeping on the ground certainly doesn’t sound comfortable, and so you assume he asks this in light jest, but oddly enough, you don’t feel any stiffness or aches. Your body is relaxed, pliant. You feel well-rested.

“It was, yes…” you trail off, absentmindedly pondering on this anomaly.

The man nods, satisfied with your answer, and stands. You have to crane your neck to look at him, and as he turns his head to look out at the rolling hills, lush green and divided in the middle by a dirt path, you see a string around his neck which is attached to a golden helmet. The brim swoops and lifts in the back, colored silver to resemble a pair of wings.

Then he turns to you again, now offering you his hand. “Well the day is too nice to waste staying here. Would you like to take a walk with me?”

You’ve been aware this entire time that you don’t know who he is, and logic would dictate you turn down his invitation. No matter how nice he may be, it would be unreasonable as well as  unsafe. But even for all that, you find yourself not tied down by any semblance of reason, and perhaps it’s against your better judgment that you accept.

You take his hand and he pulls you up easily. Maybe it’s his smile that does well to quell any apprehension, for you think you would follow him anywhere. Maybe you were incorrect and to go with him now was the better judgment on your part, because you don’t feel that this is wrong or dangerous. And he’s right: the day is splendid and it would make no sense to stay on the ground alone. It’s better enjoyed with companions.

The two of you follow the trail for a while, pausing whenever small creatures cross from one side to the other: mostly bunnies and deer, but at one point when passing by a lake there’s a duck and her ducklings plodding single-file behind her. As the world around you wakes and you walk in comfortable silence, your anxiety melts away and you instigate a conversation.

“Were you just passing by and happened to see me?” you inquire.

The man glances down at you briefly before looking ahead once more. “I was.” He nods. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He’s sincere as he says it, and it makes you grin. “Well I’m glad it was you who found me.”

The smile on his lips mirrors yours. “I am too.”

Flowers line the path, leaning inward as if to welcome any who walk past. They grab your attention, and you skip ahead to pick some of them. They only require a gentle tug for the stems to snap and you gather them until you’re holding a small bunch of the white flower in one hand. You bring them closer to your face so you can smell them: the scent is subtle and fresh, like the air after it rains. The man finally catches up to you and you twist around. There’s that expression in his eyes again, one of amusement, and again you blush, attempting to hide it by the flowers as you duck your head, but you don’t think you’re successful.

He peers over your shoulder. “Let’s go this way now. There’s bound to be more flowers in that direction.”

You turn and follow his line of sight. The trail has led to a forest, and veering off here would lead you into the thick of it. The man takes the last few steps to close the distance and stand next to you, and you look up at him. “Okay.”

Sunlight pierces the gaps in the foliage, the rays which light the ground soothing to behold and to walk through. It’s like a painting, calm and peaceful, displayed on the finest marble and you’re honored to be in the midst of it, maybe not as the subject, for you think the birds who cast shadows as they soar above you are more worthy of the privilege, but you’re content to be there at all, even just off to the side.

The woods lead to a meadow and the man was correct: there are more flowers here. Their colors vary, from white to lavender to yellow, and the sun envelopes them all in its heat, unhindered in this clearing. The tall grass shifts with your every footstep and brushes your calves, light as a feather, and you giggle. It tickles.

Your eyes rove over the expanse before you. There are more trees, another portion of forest,  on the other side, but this place is so peaceful, and the sun is in the perfect position, centered in the sky, that you would hate to leave so soon.

“I’d like to lay among these flowers…” you murmur. It’s an aside you mean to mutter only to yourself, but given your proximity to the stranger—no, not a stranger anymore, but more of a friend—he hears you fine despite the low volume with which you said it.

“Why don’t we?”

At this, you blink and glance up at him. He’s already watching you with a twinkle in his gaze and he’s smiling. You can’t help smiling too and you feel so warm to be in his presence.

So in the middle of the clearing you find a suitable spot and settle down, lying on your back with the bunch of white flowers still clutched in one hand. You have to squint and use your free hand to shield your eyes from the glare of the sun, but then you close them and the furrow of your brow relaxes, and you can fully enjoy the nature which surrounds you.

Dragonflies buzz and you can hear them flittering along, the beating of their wings louder as they approach, then becoming quieter as they pass. The grass shifts as your friend comes to join you now. He sits, and you hear a brief shuffling before he follows suit and lays down. Together you bask in the sunlight, but for how long, you aren’t sure. Not that you’re interested in tracking the time.

“Your suggestion to tarry a while was a good one,” he compliments, breaking the silence. “It feels pleasant to rest here.”

His compliment makes you grin and your eyes open. You turn your head to look at him. He’d removed his helmet from where it was hanging around his neck and placed it next to him to allow him to lie back comfortably. “The sun makes you feel so refreshed, doesn’t it?”

He hums. “I think it has more to do with the company.” He opens his eyes and also turns to look at you, and the blueness of them is incredibly soft. Your smile grows.

And though you’re confident you could pass the rest of the day in that meadow, the two of you move on. It’s done with a bit of reluctance on your part, but it fades quickly because you agree with him: it’s the company which makes you feel refreshed. The colors of the sky are shifting as mid-afternoon turns into early evening and it occurs to you that you have been walking since the morning yet you aren’t tired, nor has it felt like many hours have transpired. You know it has to do with him. You think you could do this forever, walking with him.

When the sky is a blend of indigo and orange, you ask if anyone is expecting him. We’ve been together all day, you explain. No one might wonder where you are?

He chuckles. “That’s kind of you to be concerned.”

Your cheeks feel warm. He’s awfully good at getting that reaction out of you.

“No one’s expecting me,” he continues. “But even if someone were, they’d understand my lateness, given I’m with someone so sweet. I’m not keen to part ways too soon.”

Your chest feels tight, like your heart is wrenching and you’re scared it might break. “Me neither,” you state shyly.

Then gradually the indigos and oranges transition to black as the sun fully disappears below  the horizon and you are sad to see it leave. You’ve also long since left the meadow and the forest surrounding it behind. The land you walk through is wide, flat, empty. There aren’t any plants or animals and it feels foreign, adjusted as you had been to the lush scenery of this afternoon. The only feature worth noting are the mountains that come into view now, which, while you’d already assumed them to be tall, are taller than you first thought as you get closer, so high they seem to touch the clouds, perhaps even extending past them.

“This way.” The man’s voice pulls your attention away from staring up at the clouds. There’s a path that leads farther into the mountain. “Watch your step. It’s rather dark.”

What light of the moon reaches through small gaps in the mountain reflects off the helmet strung around his neck. He takes care to move slowly to ensure you don’t lose him but the glint of his helmet serves as a beacon. The more you venture in, you wonder where you’re going. Should you ask him? The idea of doing so hadn’t crossed your mind all day because you’d been happy just to be with him, no apprehension about the destination, or whether or not  there was one. But now…

The words are on the tip of your tongue, about to be voiced, but they die out once you turn a final corner and spot a river. The water is dark, almost black, and a haze settles above it that obscures what might possibly be on the opposite shore. Once you do speak, it’s still a question, but it’s no longer about where the two of you are headed. He doesn’t need to tell you that.

“Wanted to let me down gently, didn’t you?” The manner in which you ask this is quiet, lightly teasing but also laced with a sadness you do little to hide.

Hermes—for now you know confidently who he is—leads you right to the edge of the water and then stops, twisting around. “I chose to take the longer route with you.”

You meet his gaze. His eyes are sorrowful, yet for their melancholy they are still just as beautiful, and they’re tender as he looks at you. “Why?”

He takes a deep breath, momentarily glancing at the water then returning his focus to you. “You hadn’t realized what happened, and I didn’t want to tell you. I decided we would venture through the nature you love so much, taking breaks where you desired, to listen to the bugs and to feel the sun.”

Thinking back to this morning, you recall that when you’d woken up, you hadn’t checked behind you. If you had, you would’ve noticed your body there. You’d been too enamored by Hermes to do that. Though you suppose there are worse ways of being led to the Underworld, and you’d always be grateful to Hermes for choosing to take the long way.

“Through it I’ve grown very fond of you,” he confesses. He offers a small smile, and you surmise it’s a struggle, at odds with a frown because of where he has brought you, and what it implies. “A day with you was a lifetime, and it still didn’t feel long enough.”

You muster a smile of your own. “One day or an eternity, I don’t suppose any length of time ever would.”

A boat comes into view, appearing to materialize through the fog, and once it stops at the small dock, the front bumping gently and the water lapping against the support beams, Hermes gives the ferryman two coins. Treat her well, he instructs. And then he turns to you a final time, and when your heart squeezes, you really think it has broken.

Glancing down, your eyes settle on the flowers you’re gripping. You’d kept them with you the entire journey. But now you hold them out to Hermes, and the heaviness in your chest seems to lighten slightly as he takes them and the expression on his face becomes a little less crestfallen. You would hate to leave him in such a forlorn state.

“Thank you, Hermes.” You hope he can detect the sincerity, and when he smiles faintly, you know that he has.

He helps you onto the boat, clasping your much smaller hand in his to provide support, and he stands on the shore as the ferryman pushes away, watching you until the fog engulfs the boat once more. And though he’s alone, the flowers in his hand make him feel far from lonely.