#When life sends a crisis
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remember when we were all speculating pre 4.0 after the livestream that neuvillette would be some kind of mastermind controlling everything behind the scenes, but in reality hes just a gentle soul trying to navigate the ways of being human and protecting fontaine
like
okay. sign these papers for our marriage ig.🧍♀️
#just genshin <3#he gives me sm whiplash but its okay it adds to his charm 🫶#neuvillette the beloved 🥹#send help its nearly 4 am and ive been having an existential crisis abt my life but i had to post this bc it suddenly came to mind#ill answer asks when i wake up later 🥹
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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damn
#dark academia#da#academia#literature#art#text#quote#from reading for my canadian indigenous literatures class#when your compulsory reading sends you into an existential crisis#love to see it#meaning of life#existential dread#I have to have something playing at all times otherwise I can feel myself slipping#my brain is a menace#on silence#and needing to fill it up
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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….Okay but what if I cut my hair off though
#day 2 of having realisations that turn my entire life and sense of self completely upside down and send me into a full blown identity crisis#it’s going well#But like!!!! Having the urge to cut my hair off is WAY >>>>>> the severe nausea and disgust at myself I was feeling last night#We live and we grow !!!!!!#z talks#not horse game#my hairs currently armpit length I’ve been growing it out for the past 3 years after having it short for over 3 years before that#(it’s been a process with some setbacks bc I had some damaged hair that needed OFF and also an undercut that needed Away)#and I’ve been like. ok I’ve never had Super Long Hair before. let’s get this bitch to waist length#BUT IM JUST NOT FEELING IT MAN#I keep looking back at the pictures from when I had chin length hair and going fuck man that was a good haircut for me
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my food stamps got cut by $14 more??? After it was already cut by $60 a few months ago???
I'm now receiving $185 less a month in food stamps than I got a few years ago. And food prices have nearly doubled. This is bullshit.
#all of my assistance has been cut!!!#we can send billions to i*rael but we can't afford to feed people?#biden has done nothing to stop this#he hasn't stopped greedflation he hasn't done anything about homelessness or poverty#he hasn't stopped the anti-trans laws from being passed in many states#he hasn't raised the minimum wage#hasn't given us healthcare#hasn't done anything about the rental crisis#everything became more expensive under his presidency EVERYTHING#and yes the president absolutely does have the power to stop these things. executive orders exist#whenever Trump does these things it's 100% his fault#but when Biden does these things all of a sudden it's ''you don't understand he's trying so so hard but the mean republicans won't let him'#my life and the life of everyone I know has gotten worse under this presidency#we can SEE the results#there are a couple of good things he's done but they're far outweighed by the bad things#.bdo
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Your post is the reason I know now Wildhorn made Death Note: The Musical's score. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also. A confession: my sleep-deprived brain misread Rudolf as Rudolph and thought this is some insane concept about a new Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer musical. Send help
I say embrace the knowledge! :D I mean, is there any musical theatre composer out there who could do it more justice than our man Franky Frank?
Didn't think so... and I also think if anyone has to make a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer musical, he might be a good candidate.
#it would be called Rudolph but it would actually be about Mr. and Mrs. Claus having a crisis#the crisis starts when Santa starts dreaming of turning to a life of crime#it gets worse when Mrs. Claus falls in love with a sexy communist elf that wants to unionize the workshop à la Tom Cardy's Naughty or Nice#maybe Frankhorn and Tom Cardy could collaborate on this one#anyway. in the end Rudolph helps the troubled couple get back together with the power of his magical nose or something. I don't know#I've also always wondered about the logistics of that shiny nose. does the light shine out of his nostrils?#anyway. uh. I'm afraid I can't send you any help; in fact I think I might need some myself#Frankhorn!#ihmisraunio.#ask
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#literally only making this so I can vote for Chuck. Walt can die in 1000 hellfires but at least he had the decency to apologize to his wife#save jessie and then go get shot and die on the floor. Chuck does nothing but elitist internal monologues - betray his baby sibling - use#anyone's affection esp for him as a weapon against them and their loved ones - and lie#If he looked me in the eye and gave a monologue about sending me to prison after faking a mental health crisis so I'd commit a felony to#save him and said it was to make me a better person and I have to see he's right then I would beat him to death to death with a shovel then#and there. Jimmy deserves 1000 years joy and life for having to talk to him. I can't believe he loves him. I can't believe in spite of ever#he loves and suffers for him again and again and Chuck refuses to do anything but hate him for being imperfect when he was 9#I would cut off my own hand to beat chuck to death with it#I feel a rage on par with my hatred of John Kramer#better call saul
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14 💕
pool!!! i've been listening to this song a long time but they mentioned remi 🐺 recently on the tryguy podcast so i listened to her album so i can know her for real. she is cool.........
#i still dont know who still woozy is😔 one thing at a time#i like this song a lot also its very good to play when ur having a crisis . this is the song i was into when my life got together this year#anyway thank u for sending!!! 🥰🥰🥰 im appreciate#ask#ask meme#brandon answers#i think remi is british also and she has that one song where she says burgers but it sounds like boogers. LOL
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Sitting outside on lunch trying to figure out what in the world today even is, and trying to process this morning...
#pardon my insanity#...what IS this day?#to the five veterinary ERs that turned a dog that was bloated away without even *looking* at it before sending the owner to the next...#...so that they drove around all night with their dog in horrific pain trying to find SOMEWHERE to go...#...only for the dog to die in the car twenty minutes before getting to us after we opened for the day...#...after final hours of suffering for both the dog and his owner...#...we are overbooked and understaffed too and we WOULD have figured out how to get that dog in our NON-emergency hospital#f*** you#especially to the ER among them whose staff physically shoved my cousin out the door when her cat was actively choking last year#rant#vet assistant life#vet student life#the emergency vet crisis in this area is getting to where general practice staff are coming in at odd hours for long time clients...#... because the ERs turn everything away if they're even open because they got bought out by corporate that drove tons of staff out#it's ridiculous#better yet my grandmother fell again at 4:00 AM before my 12 hour shift started and she's in the human ER#our lead tech had to leave urgently for a family emergency that also has someone in the ER#and we have an 8 month old puppy that never got vaccinated and may have Distemper -and with his blood values the prognosis is shit#*hangs bang head here sign on wall and slams into it*#sometimes it just sucks man...
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Don't make me think about that shit
#Ok anonymous asker no. 47#I'm not arguing I am agreeing#I thought I was going to have to take custody of a baby last year and lost my fucking mind for six months#The Andy debacle was pure stress no drugs but the stuff with my family from last year? It was all there#Stress. Drugs. Fear. Resentment.#Fortunately for everybody involved she miscarried!#Crisis averted nobody had to make a major life style change#She gets to go to college unburdened by her scrubby ass ex boyfriend#I'm talking about my kid cousin#The one I had to raise when I was still a kid#Yeah#I was super unhappy when she called to tell me she'd be dropping out#Fuck was I sending money for#I worked so hard to make sure she'd have books and shit what the fuck#Shit didn't come to pass anyway so it's whatever. All's well that ends well. I guess
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Your Roommate Sukuna Series Masterlist
Pairing: Modern No Curse AU Sukuna x Reader
Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna!
Contains: frenemies to lovers, super slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, more specific tags on each part
Heads up! This is a series of oneshots and drabbles, not a completely cohesive chapter by chapter series!! Each part can stand alone so dont worry if you started in the middle!!
Status: on a temporary break [Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!]
My Full Masterlist
Sorted from oldest to newest!!
“That Time I Gave Him Covid” WC 1.08k
Contains: pure fluff, Sukuna makes you watch The Human Centipede but nothing is described in detail, pining at the end but he’s in denial
“That Time He Scared The Life Out Of Me” WC 1.4k
Contains: metal-vocalist!Sukuna, fluff, you’re both basically frenemies
“That Time We Went To The County Fair” WC 2.89k
Contains: pure fluff, frenemies dynamic, emetophobics be cautious (no one actually gets sick it’s just mentioned), Sukuna is trying so hard to be nice
“That Time His Older Brother Gave Him A Tarot Reading” WC 1.26k
Contains: brothers au, pure fluff, reader is not present, Sukuna is pining hard
“That Time I Caught Him In A Lie” WC 210
Contains: short drabble, metalhead!Sukuna, pure fluff
“That Time He Got Jealous Of His Twin Brother” WC 1.80k
Contains: brothers au, pure fluff, slight Yuuji x Reader but we all know who you’re really here for, Sukuna is down bad, narration is mostly from Sukuna’s POV
“That Time I Walked In On Him Working Out” WC 840
Contains: drabble, suggestive themes, mutual pining
“That Time He Sabotaged My Date” WC 1.78k
Contains: yandere(ish)!Sukuna, fluff but he’s kinda very toxic, stalking, fem implied reader (wearing a dress and heels), brief mention of a bomb (there aren’t any bombs present), narration is from Sukuna’s POV
“That Time I Wore Red Lipgloss” WC 358
Contains: short drabble, fluff, very mildly suggestive, Sukuna is pining bad, fem implied reader (wearing lipgloss, referred to as looking pretty)
“That Time We Got High And Almost Kissed” WC 2.63k
Contains: brothers au, fluff, frenemies dynamic, use of illegal substances (cannabis)
Banner commissioned from @crumplstiltskin , Dividers by @anitalenia
If you are on the taglist and not receiving notifications when I post a new part, DM me and I’ll try to send you new parts as they come out!!
#masterlist#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#Sukuna#ryomen Sukuna#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna fluff#jjk modern au#jjk brothers au#jjk no curse au
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Tyler Owens x Reader: Chase Your Fears
Prompt: You and your younger brother are roadtripping across the US when you encounter a tornado. Luckily, the tornado wrangler himself shows up to help.
Word count: 11k
Warnings: tornado mention
A/N: Had this cute little idea and suddenly it turned into an 11k monster fic... anyway, i will be obsessed with tyler owens & twisters for the foreseeable future, so please send recs if you want!
“What is that?”
You leaned forward in your seat and peered out the rearview mirror warily. But even with a better view, you still had no idea what you were looking at.
“Seriously,” your little brother gawked from the front seat, body twisted so that he could turn around and see. “What is that?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted, knuckles turning white as you tightened your grip on the steering wheel. You kept your eyes trained on the dark clouds swirling behind you. Thankfully, all the roads out here in Oklahoma were so long and straight– otherwise, you probably would have crashed your car.
“Is that a tornado?”
“No–” you began. But even as the words left your mouth, you realized that you actually had no clue. “Well, maybe–”
As soon as you spoke, both of your phones went off– an alert warning you of severe weather in the area.
“It’s a tornado,” your brother exhaled, as he read the alert off his lockscreen. “No wonder the roads were so quiet today– we’re the only idiots dumb enough to be driving through a tornado!”
“We’re not driving through a tornado, technically we’re driving in front of one… Besides, aren’t tornadoes thinner? Like a funnel?” you said, trying desperately to lighten the mood. You thought if you stayed calm, maybe it would keep your brother calm.
“Don’t fat shame the tornado! What do we do?!”
“I don’t know,” you admitted, mouth growing increasingly dry.
“We should call Mom–”
“No, we definitely should not.”
“Why not?” you could hear the panic creeping up in his voice.
“Because,” you said calmly. “Mom’s in New Hampshire– probably crocheting a blanket as we speak. What is she going to do to help us?”
Your brother opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again like he was realizing you were right.
“Calling her is only going to make her panic halfway across the country.”
“We should call Dad then–”
“And what’s dad going to do from Texas?” you challenged.
“Maybe he’ll know what to do– he said they have tornadoes where he lives.”
You frowned. “It’s behind us– we just need to keep driving and keep it behind us.”
“Okay,” your brother said uneasily. When you glanced his way, you saw his hands positioned in his lap, trembling. Instantly, you felt your chest ache. Your parents had the two of you nearly fifteen years apart. And as his big sister, in charge of escorting him across the country so that you could both stay with your dad for the summer, you felt like it was your responsibility to keep him safe.
“I should’ve just flown,” he whimpered. “What was I thinking, doing a road trip through the midwest during tornado season?”
“Hey,” you said, reaching over to grab one of his hands. You had been the one to suggest the two of you drive to Texas together. A few weeks earlier, you had finally quit the job that had made you miserable for the last two years. It had been a long time coming, but with nothing else lined up, you’d been terrified to officially make the jump.
You hated being afraid. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was stupidity– but something inside of you was driven to face your fears. If you’re afraid, do it, you always told yourself.
So that was how you found yourself jobless at nearly twenty-eight. Currently, you were going through a transitional period that your mom liked to call your quarter-life crisis. You’d wanted a distraction– something fun to make you feel adventurous and brave and alive again. Initially, he’d been skeptical of the idea. While the two of you were close, he was cautious about spending the two weeks you’d planned out in a car together. But once you told him about your plans– stopping in New York and detouring to Nashville, he was sold.
Hearing the fact that he regretted his decision made a pool of guilt spread through your insides.
“You were thinking about how awesome it was going to be to spend two whole weeks with your sister on a road trip. I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to you– We’re okay.”
He nodded slowly, although the look of terror on his face told you he didn’t entirely believe you.
“Did you know they call this area Tornado Alley?” he asked, speech rapid. “Cold air from the Rockies meets damp air from the Gulf of Mexico. It’s like… the perfect recipe for tornadoes.”
You sighed. In the past, you probably would have questioned why your New England-raised brother knew anything about tornadoes. But you’d since learned that his brain quite literally never forgot any shred of knowledge. The kid remembered everything.
“Did you know that thirty percent of the country’s total number of tornadoes is in Tornado Alley? Or at least they have been since the fifties–”
While your fight or flight response was generally more geared towards running, his was fact-spewing.
You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, trying not to give away the fact that the tornado in your rearview mirror was seemingly getting closer with every glance you took.
As you pressed your foot harder against the gas, you smiled towards him. “Tell me more. How do tornadoes form?”
“Well…” he began, and then he started talking rapidly about air pressure and moisture and wind speeds and other things you really didn’t understand. Truthfully, you tuned it out– your only focus on getting the two of you somewhere safe.
Your method for calming him down worked– at least until the winds increased. Then a giant chunk of debris came flying at your car, forcing you to swerve quickly.
“What was that?” he yelled, all panic that had previously faded from his voice returned in an instant.
“I don’t know–”
“Oh my God, it’s closer– it’s right behind us!”
“I know,” you said, your own voice raising. Your foot was practically touching the floor, but your car wouldn’t go any faster.
Another piece of debris– this time you recognized it as a piece of a fence, slammed into the side of your car.
“Shit!” your brother screamed. “Shit!”
“We’re okay–” you tried to assure him. “Listen to me, we’re okay– But I think I need to pull the car over.”
“What?!” he practically screamed.
“I know– I know it’s scary, but I don’t think you’re supposed to be in a car if a tornado gets too close.”
“How do you know that?!”
You furrowed your brow. “I think I heard it on the Discovery channel or something–”
“Discovery channel?!”
By now he was frantic, and you knew that you had to stay calm– no matter how panicked you were. But your brother also required plans and he required explanations– so you tried to give them to him.
“Listen to me, I am going to stop the car, and we are going to get out, leave our stuff and run, okay?”
“Run where?”
“Uh,” you stammered. Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten that far yet. You looked around, realizing that your options were incredibly limited. There was an old barn to your left– and while the shelter enticed you, it didn’t look entirely sturdy. Further down there was an actual farm house– maybe they had a storm shelter or a basement. But you had no idea if you’d make it that far.
Suddenly, an entire goddamn tree flew by your car, taking the side mirror with it.
“The farmhouse–” you said. The barn would never stand.
“Can we make it?” your brother asked.
You nodded. “We’ll make it.”
With that, you slammed on your breaks, causing your car to come to a sudden stop.
To your relief, your brother followed your instructions. He launched himself out of the car and hurried around the hood to you. You quickly grabbed his hand before turning to start towards the barn.
But before you could even move more than a few steps, a pair of headlights seemingly came out of nowhere to your right. A red truck screeched to a halt just as a man, clouded by the fog, stuck his head out and shouted, “Get in!”
“What?” you screamed over the wind.
He motioned with his thumb towards his truck. “Get. In!” he emphasized. “Now!”
Before you could hesitate or question anything, instincts kicked in. You shoved your little brother towards the man and his truck. The man had already hopped out and was opening the back door. Once you reached him, he grabbed your brother first. With ease, he lifted him into the truck.
“Buckle up–” he instructed. “See that harness strap? Put that on–” Next he turned to you, “I got gear in the seat back here, it’ll take too long to move– you’ll have to go up front.”
You nodded before hurrying to the passenger side of his truck. Without hesitating, you hoisted open the door– a task that proved to be increasingly challenging based on the wind speeds. It was like the door was suctioned to the body. You gave it a few good pulls, using all your strength, but it wouldn’t open.
You glanced at your brother through the back window and saw his eyes grow wide. He screamed your name before banging on the window– reaching for you.
“It’s okay!” you cried. “I’m okay!” Although you weren’t sure how true that would be a few moments from now.
“Shit,” you said to yourself, jostling the handle. “Shit, shit, shit–”
“It’s okay,” you heard a voice call. The man had turned the corner of the truck bed and was reaching for the door. With one strong pull, he hoisted it open. “There we go, let’s get ya inside–”
You reached up, grabbing the handle on the door while stepping up. You felt a hand on your back give you a gentle nudge as you hoisted yourself the rest of the way inside. Once you were positioned in the seat with the door closed, you watched through the windshield as the man jogged lightly around his car with ease and climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Harness–” the man said, pointing towards the straps behind you before slamming his door shut.
Quickly, you shrugged them over your shoulders and fastened the buckle.
“I can’t–” you heard your brother say from behind you. When you turned in your seat, you saw that he still wasn’t buckled– his straps were tangled.
You moved your hands to your own straps to undo them, but were stopped by the man. “I got him, you stay buckled,” he said before turning to extend his torso into the backseat. “Here we go, buddy,” he said gently. You marveled how, even with a tornado barreling towards you all, the man could remain so gentle and calm. The way he talked to your brother was… well, you couldn't quite find the words for what it was, but you appreciated it. You made a mental note to thank the man for it if you made it out of this alive.
“I can’t do it–” you could hear the panic in your brother’s voice.
“It’s okay,” the man said. “I got you. I’m gonna help. Everything’s okay.”
“The tornado is right there!” he screamed, fear and anguish building in your brother’s throat.
“Try to stay calm,” you said. “We’re okay–”
“We’re NOT okay!”
“It looks closer than it is,” the man soothed. “Look at my face– do I look scared? So there’s no need for you to be scared– I got you, see? Harness is done. You’re all strapped in. Nothin’s gonna get ya.”
Swiftly, the man spun back in his seat, did up his own harness in a few seconds, and then pressed a giant, red button on a stick shift near the center console of his truck. You heard a loud sound– like gears shifting, above the whipping winds outside. And then he leaned back in his seat, checking on the storm in the rearview mirror.
“Are you going to drive?” you asked him, turning to get a look at him for the first time. He had a baseball cap resting backwards on his head and a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was handsome, you realized.
The muscles of his forearms flexed as he reached for the wheel. But instead of driving anywhere, he shook his head.
“What?” you gasped. “It’s coming right for us–”
“I know– we can’t outrun it,” he explained. “So we just have to let it pass. Hang on, we’ll be okay.”
“I thought a vehicle was one of the worst places to be in a tornado–”
“It is,” he replied simply, only making your panic increase. “But we’ll be alright. Trust me.”
You were about to argue, but before you knew it, he shouted, “Hang on!” – Just as the cloud funnel consumed you.
The next seconds or minutes or hours passed in a terrifying blur. With your eyes squeezed shut and hands held over your ears, you still heard everything. You heard winds whipping against the truck, causing it to rock back and forth. You heard your brother scream from the backseat, feeling helpless because there was nothing you could do to help comfort him. You heard the slamming sound of debris– trees, fences, and whatever the hell else as it crashed into you and everything around you. You heard the ringing in your ear– like it was all too much to bear… All the while wondering which blow would be the one to kill you.
And then suddenly, you heard nothing at all. You remained frozen in place for a moment longer, in case this silence was a fluke. But then slowly, things came back into focus. You lowered your arms and opened your eyes to see the man leaned over in his seat, harness already unbuckled, while he gazed at you.
Although laced with concern, his eyes were the prettiest shade of green you’d ever seen. He really was handsome– almost shockingly so. And now, he was mouthing something– like he was trying to talk to you.
Suddenly, his voice came through the fog– soft and gentle. “Are you okay?”
You nodded slowly without actually knowing if that was the case. You’d know if you weren’t, right?
“How–” you said suddenly, turning to look outside. There was debris everywhere– tree limbs and branches, leaves and chunks of housing.
“Nothing hurts? You’re okay?”
You turned back towards him and did a quick body scan– checking in on your body before shaking your head a little more confidently. Then you remembered your brother in the backseat. You turned the best that you could with your harness still on, to glance at him.
“Are you okay?” you asked him.
“Yeah,” you heard his shaky voice ring out. You exhaled a breath of relief.
Careful not to kick you with his boots, the man maneuvered to the backseat with ease.
“Hey buddy,” you heard him say. “You alright back here?”
“I’m okay.”
“Good– you did great. Must’ve held on real tight. Can I help ya with the harness now?”
You started grasping at your own harness. Except, when you moved to adjust the buckles, you realized that your hands were shaking too hard to be of any use. No matter how hard you willed them to steady, they wouldn’t.
You continued to try until the man hopped out of the truck and came around to your side. He hoisted open the door and placed his hands on top of yours– the sudden warmth sending shock waves through your body, causing your head to shoot up.
You were met by his intense gaze for a second time, a sea of sage green took your breath away. You swallowed– realizing how dry your mouth suddenly had become. Although the pair of you were complete strangers, the man’s strong jawline flexed as he gazed at you with what looked like worry.
“We’re okay,” he assured you. “You’re alright. Can I help with the harness?”
You gave him a quick nod before dropping your shaky hand from it. When he was finished, you stripped off your harness straps and turned to hop out of the truck. As soon as you did, you saw his outstretched hand– offering to help. You swallowed the lump in your throat and took it, not trusting yourself or your unsteady legs. As soon as your feet were back on the ground, you released his hand and turned towards your brother.
“Are you okay?” you asked for a second time, a sob prickling the back of your throat. As soon as he nodded yes, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tugging him against you. Even at twelve years old, he was almost taller than you.
“God, I’m so sorry–” you said.
“What were you guys doing out here?” the man suddenly asked. He stood with his hip popped slightly, his hands resting on the waistband of his jeans. “They’ve been announcing this storm since this mornin’.” His voice wasn’t accusatory, just generally curious.
Keeping your arm around your brother’s shoulders, you turned to face him. “We’re not from here,” you explained. “We were just driving through– we didn’t know it was coming.”
He nodded. “They can sneak up on ya sometimes. Where are y’all from?”
“New Hampshire,” you said.
The man let out a low whistle. “You’re a long way from home.”
“We were driving my dad’s,” your brother piped in. “He lives in Texas.”
“I should’ve paid more attention to the weather,” you admitted, shaking your head. “It was stupid. But thank you…” your voice trailed off, realizing you didn’t know the man’s name.
“Tyler,” he replied, extending his hand for a second time, this time for you to shake.
“Tyler,” you repeated. “Thank you Tyler, for saving us.” You quickly introduced yourself before turning and introducing your brother.
“Hang on. What were you doing out here if they’d been talking about the storm all morning?” your brother asked bluntly.
Just as you were about to give him a look that said don’t question strangers who save our lives, Tyler smiled, flashing his white teeth. “I was chasin’ her,” he said, nodding towards the tornado still spinning in the distance.
“You chase tornadoes?” your brother exclaimed.
Tyler’s grin got wider. “Sure do. That’s why my truck didn’t blow away. I got extra precautions.” Then, like he could see the eagerness in your brother’s face, he smirked. “Wanna see?”
Your brother nodded before breaking away from your embrace and racing back towards the truck– like he’d already forgotten about the tornado that almost killed you both.
“That alright with you?” Tyler asked.
You nodded, head still foggy and body still trembling. “Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, eyeing your shaky hands.
“Oh– yeah,” you said. “Just nerves… We don’t get many tornadoes up in New Hampshire, and we sure as hell don’t chase them.”
“You did good,” Tyler told you. “You stayed calm– kept him calm.”
“Thanks,” you said shyly, feeling stupid that this stranger’s compliment actually meant something to you. Then, you motioned with your thumb over your shoulder. “I’m gonna go check out my car– see how bad it is.”
With that, you left your brother with Tyler, and turned the corner of the hood of his truck, tracing your steps back to where you’d initially abandoned your car. As soon as you entered the clearing, you wished you hadn’t. There, amongst the piles of debris and chaos, was your SUV laying on its side– the front windshield completely smashed, both airbags deployed, and the doors caved in.
“Shit,” you muttered, unable to help the tears forming in your eyes. You were grateful for your brother’s safety, but you knew you couldn’t drive your car like this–
You took a few steadying breaths, reminding yourself that completely falling apart wasn’t going to be helpful. And, despite the part of you trying to avoid this, you knew that you’d have to call your parents.
You turned back towards Tyler’s truck and saw him and your brother laying on the ground– looking at something underneath the bed. That’s when you noticed two, gigantic-looking screws secured into the ground. That must have been the button Tyler pushed right before the tornado had engulfed you.
Your brother looked content for the time being, so you pulled out your phone and dialed your mom first.
She answered after only a couple of rings.
“Hi honey, how are things going?”
“Hi Mom,” you said, voice already shaking. “Don’t panic okay? We’re both alright–”
“What happened?” she said urgently, clearly doing the opposite of what you’d requested.
You sighed– might as well just come right out and say it. “We’re in Oklahoma, and a tornado just hit– like literally hit us.”
“What?” she gasped. You could already imagine her sitting up from her recliner, tossing her ball of yarn or whatever she was using to the side.
“Yeah– Some guy came and helped us. We were able to wait it out…” you paused, like you still couldn’t entirely believe what had just happened to you. “But I can’t drive my car.”
“Oh my God,” she breathed. “Are you sure you’re alright? Where’s your brother?”
“We’re fine, Mom. The guy who helped us is still here– he’s showing him stuff in his truck to keep him busy.”
“Who is this guy?”
“Just some local– we got lucky, he knew exactly what to do.”
You heard her exhale a sharp breath.
“Mom, I don’t know what to do– We’re stranded here.”
“Oh, honey,” she sighed. “I should have never let you take him in a car. You should have just flown. Gosh, you both could’ve been killed.”
The pool of guilt grew larger inside your chest.
“I know–” you said, feeling defeated. Because she was right– what the hell were you thinking?
After a moment of silence, she sighed. “I’m so glad you’re alright. Why don’t you call your father– see how far he is? Maybe he can come and pick you up. If he can’t, call me back and we’ll figure something out..”
“Okay,” you said, voice thick with the tears you were trying not to shed.
“I love you,” she assured you.
“Love you, too. I’ll talk to you later.”
With that, you hung up the phone, just as a few tears splashed down your cheeks.
After wiping them away, you glanced back towards Tyler and your brother. Tyler was helping your brother into the truck bed, where he had a bunch of gear strapped down. Your brother had a look of pure excitement plastered on his face as he looked around. You were far enough away so that you couldn’t make out what they were saying, but you could see your brother’s lips moving rapidly, totally skipping the shy-stage he normally went through when he met new people.
Like he could tell you were staring, Tyler looked up and caught your eye. Even from this distance, you saw the way his lips curled into a smile that made something in your stomach flutter. He gave you a quick wave before turning his attention back towards your brother.
Realizing your brother was in seemingly good hands, you knew you couldn’t stall calling your dad any longer. So, you pulled up his contact and dialed, preparing to give the same explanation to him as you did your mom.
“Hey kiddo!” He answered. “How’s the road trip going?”
You were nearly twenty-eight years old, but your dad still answered the phone the same way he did when you were ten.
“Hey dad,” you said. To your dismay, no matter how hard you fought it, your voice still cracked.
“Everything okay?” he asked, instantly picking up on the fact that something was wrong.
You bit your lip, fighting back tears. When you felt composed enough, you spoke. “No,” you admitted. “We’re in Oklahoma, and we got hit by a tornado while we were driving– We’re both safe, but my car is totaled– I can’t drive it.”
“Oh my God, what?” he gasped.
“I don’t know what happened– it was all so fast. I couldn’t outrun it– I tried. But there wasn’t anything we could do– it was moving so quickly and–”
“Okay, breathe,” your dad interrupted, his voice calm.
You were breathing, weren’t you? Except, when you went to inhale, you realized that no, you were not. You sucked in a breath before letting out a choppy exhale.
“Good– everything’s going to be okay. It’s just a car. They can be replaced. You’re safe, your brother is safe– that’s what’s important.”
“We’re stranded– in the middle of nowhere.”
“Well that’s all of Oklahoma, honey. Do you know what town you’re in?”
“No, but I can find out,” you said shakily. After wiping your wet cheeks the best you could, you made your way back towards the truck.
“Tyler,” you said, catching his attention. “What town are we in? My dad wants to know.”
“You’re talking to Dad?” your brother piped in. “Tell him I said hi.”
“We’re near Stillwater,” Tyler replied.
You repeated it back to your dad.
“Okay, who’s there helping you?”
“Uh this guy–” you said, turning away before Tyler could overhear. “He saved us.”
“Well I’m glad to hear that. Sounds like he was in the right place at the right time. Stillwater is about six hours north of me. How about I put you guys up in a hotel for a night then I come and get you tomorrow and we can figure everything else out?”
“Hotels are a lot… you don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but it’s going to get dark before too long, and I don’t want to be driving late. I just want you both safe until then. Why don’t you see if that guy who helped you knows a place?”
“Yeah, okay,” you said, pulling the phone back again. “Hey Tyler?” you turned to see him in the same spot– still showing your brother various gadgets and gear. “Do you know of any hotels or anything nearby? I can’t drive my car– and our dad can’t get us until tomorrow.”
Tyler sucked in a breath of air. “Yikes, there ain’t much around here. Unless you want to bunk at the motel off Broadway street. I think it’s up to a 1.8 star review on Yelp, but last I knew they had a cockroach problem.”
You grimaced. “What about buses or anything that we could take to Austin?”
“You know,” Tyler began, eyes flickering into the distance before looking back at you. “I got a big ole’ farm house not too far from here with a couple of extra bedrooms. Why don’t you both just stay the night and your dad can get you from there in the mornin’?”
You immediately began shaking your head. “No–”
But your dad’s voice on the phone caught you off guard. “Let me talk to him.”
“Dad–” you protested.
But he insisted.
So, begrudgingly, that was how you found yourself passing your cell phone to Tyler.
Tyler’s eyebrow raised gently at the gesture.
“He wants to talk to you,” you explained.
Tyler pointed to himself, as if he was questioning if you meant your brother instead. “Me?”
You nodded.
Tyler reached his arm out skeptically, taking your phone, then pressed it to his ear. “Uh, hello?”
You couldn’t hear your father’s voice on the other end– just mumbling.
“Yes sir– No, that’s not necessary, I was happy to do it–” There was a brief pause. “Yes sir. Cockroaches yeah, you heard that right. I do. Right in town actually. It’s not a problem, I have the space–” Another pause. “Of course, I can send my contact info, and the address.”
You shut your eyes– as if your father was coordinating a sleepover at Tyler’s right now. It’s not like you weren’t grateful for his offer, but you felt like he’d already helped too much. First he saved your lives, now he offers shelter?
“Alright. Alright, you too. Take care.”
With that, Tyler passed you your phone back.
“Go with him,” your dad said, as soon as you held it back against your ear.
“Dad–”
“It’s one night,” he insisted. “It’s either him or the cockroaches.”
…
Less than thirty minutes later, Tyler was pulling his truck down a long, dirt driveway. Positioned at the end of it, set back with the setting sun as a backdrop, was an old, white farmhouse with a wrap around porch and blue shutters.
“You live here?” you asked in awe.
Tyler smiled. “Been in my family for a long time.”
“It’s beautiful,” you said, eyes now scanning the amount of land he had. There was a wheat field to the right, and to the left was a sturdy-looking barn with an exterior that matched the house.
“Technically it belongs to my aunt. But she’s living it up in Tulsa right now, so I stay here– maintain the place for her. It’ll be mine one day.”
“Do you have horses?” your brother asked from the backseat.
Tyler’s grin stretched the length of his face. “Sure do. Let’s get you guys cleaned up and fed, then we can see them later.”
Tyler unloaded the suitcases you’d recovered from your SUV and carried them inside for you, despite your protests. You were quickly learning that Tyler was a gentleman– always holding doors and offering his hand to help. Each time he went out of his way to help you, it caused strange feelings to stir up inside of you– ones that you had no business feeling about a man you’d just met.
The interior of the farmhouse was just as beautiful as the outside. Tyler showed you around the first floor, pointing out the kitchen, bathroom, and living room before walking your luggage up the stairs to where the bedrooms and second bathroom were.
“Both rooms have double beds– there’s only a shower, it’s in the bathroom up here. But feel free to use it. Towels and washcloths are in that closet there– extra blankets are in the chests at the end of the beds.”
“Thank you,” you said again, finally taking your luggage from him. “This is…” you shook your head. “You’ve been really kind, thank you.”
“My pleasure– only the best for my first New Hampshire guests,” he said cheekily. Then, Tyler clasped his hands together. “Alright, well I’ll leave you guys to it. Come on down whenever you’re ready, I’ll whip up something to eat. Y’all like burgers?”
Your brother’s face lit up. “Love them!”
“Sounds great,” you replied.
“Coupla’ burgers comin’ right up then,” Tyler smirked.
“He’s so cool,” your brother muttered before grabbing his bag and heading off to claim a bedroom.
Cool was one word for him, you thought.
…
You took longer in the shower than expected. Probably because every time you closed your eyes to rinse the shampoo out of your hair, all you could see was that goddamn tornado barreling towards you. Each and every time, it made your entire body lurch– causing you to snap open your eyes with a sense of urgency.
Even though you were just showering– it felt like you were outside running… your breath was choppy and your heart was racing just standing there.
You forced yourself to unclench your jaw, worried that your molars were going to crack with how tense you were. Eventually, you gave up and decided to just keep your eyes open while you rinsed your hair out.
When you were finished, you threw on a pair of sweats and an old T-shirt from your suitcase before heading downstairs to join your brother and Tyler. You could smell the burgers before you even got to the kitchen, making your mouth water.
“There’s New Hampshire,” Tyler grinned, seemingly proud of the nickname he’d given you. He was behind the island, setting a steaming pot down on a cooling plate next to a few empty plates stacked on top of each other.
Your brother sat on a stool at the island– his hair still damp from his own shower, nibbling on a piece of plain white bread while he watched Tyler maneuver around the kitchen.
“Do you need any help?” you asked. As soon as you spoke, you could hear the shakiness in your tone. You’d been trying to ignore how tight your chest still felt, but you’d have to do better at hiding it if you wanted to evade detection.
You didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on you for a moment before Tyler shook his head. “Nah, I’m almost done. I got burgers on the grill, some corn, and leftover pasta salad from my mom– you gotta try it.”
He handed you and your brother each an empty plate before taking the lid off the corn pot.
“I’ll go grab the burgers, but help yourself.”
With that, he was disappearing out the back door.
“How’re you doing?” you asked your brother once you were alone.
“Hungry,” he said as he piled a mound of pasta salad on his plate.
You reached over and ran your hands through his hair before shaking his head lightly. “I don’t mean that– I mean how’re you doing after everything today? That was a lot.”
Or at least it had been for you…
Your brother shrugged. “It was scary, but I’m okay now. Statistically speaking tornadoes never strike the same place twice. So that one’s gone for good. And Tyler said the likelihood of another one hitting the area is extremely low.”
“That’s right,” Tyler said, as he reentered the kitchen with a plate stacked full of burgers.
You watched him move through the kitchen with ease, pleasantly surprised by the fact that he’d obviously helped to reassure your brother.
“You want one or two burgers?” Tyler asked him.
Your brother held up two fingers with one hand and his plate with the other.
“What do you say?” you mumbled, nudging him in the side.
“Please,” he said, flashing his teeth.
“You got it,” Tyler chuckled.
With a full plate, your brother headed for the dining room, leaving you and Tyler alone in the kitchen.
“How are you doing?” Tyler asked as he passed you the plate of burgers.
“Me?” you said, trying your best to sound casual. Apparently you were the only one even remotely freaked out by the fact that a tornado had almost killed all of you today. “Oh, I’m alright. Much better after showering– thank you again.”
“You gotta stop thanking me, really it’s not a problem. I wouldn’t have offered if it was,” How are you really doing though?”
You glanced up, surprised to see Tyler’s concerned gaze fixated on you. He’d ditched the baseball hat, allowing you to see his sandy brown hair for the first time. It was slightly disheveled, but so soft. The way it was pushed back from his face made it look like Tyler had been running his fingers through it– a sight you wouldn’t mind seeing.
Quickly, you averted your gaze back to your plate. “I’m fine.”
“Really?” he challenged you. “Because it’s okay not to be okay after getting hit by a tornado– especially for the first time.”
It was like he could sense how anxious you really were– like one of those emotional support animals. Or maybe you just didn’t have the poker face you thought you did.
“I was just worried for my brother,” you said, taking a spoonful of pasta salad. “But it seems like you managed to calm his nerves.”
“Yeah, well, kids are all the same. They just need reassurance. They wanna feel safe.”
Now was your chance to poke a little deeper– to shift the conversation off from you, but also to learn something about Tyler. “Do you have kids?” you asked, trying to make the question sound casual.
“No,” he answered quickly. “Got a niece and a nephew though. They live in Texas, so I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like. Do you?” Tyler asked, glancing over. When he caught your confused expression, he added, “Have kids?”
“Oh, no,” you said, shaking your head. “God, no. You saw what happened today– I have my brother for less than two weeks and I almost got him killed. Imagine if I had an actual child?”
“You didn’t almost get him killed,” Tyler refuted. “You had no way of knowing that thing was comin’.”
“You knew it was coming,” you challenged.
Tyler shrugged. “Well that’s ‘cause I’m a professional.”
“I didn’t know you could be a professional tornado-chaser,” you said teasingly, finally picking up your plate to head to the table.
Tyler followed close behind, choosing a seat across from you and your brother. “I prefer the name tornado wrangler, myself.”
“Tornado wrangler?” you repeated skeptically.
“That’s right,” he smirked, a hint of playfulness in his tone.
“You’re such a badass,” your brother said between bites. He was already halfway done his food. You felt another pang of guilt– he really was hungry.
“So what does a tornado wrangler do exactly?” you asked.
Tyler chewed his food for a moment before answering. “Well, we have a YouTube channel. And we livestream videos of us headin’ into storms. We offer our viewers a close look at the tornadoes– a view most of them will never see in real life.”
“We? You mean there’s more than just one of you crazy enough to chase those things?”
Tyler’s face was full-on beaming now, and you could tell just how passionate he really was about all of this. Even if it scared the absolute shit out of you– you loved to hear him talk about it.
“I got a whole team– there’s Boone, he’s my buddy behind the camera, he takes care of the livestream and the editing when we need it. Then I got Lilly, she operates our drone. That helps give us alternative coverage and vantage points when we need it. Dexter and Dani both help with storm tracking– but Dani also helps fix the gear and stuff when we need it.”
“What’s the scariest tornado you’ve ever seen?” your brother asked, pieces of burger flying out of his mouth while he spoke.
“Chew your food before talking,” you said under your breath.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Tyler let out a soft chuckle, his eyes flickering to yours before turning back to your brother. “I think the scariest tornado I’ve ever seen was when I was about your age– My mom and I got caught up in an EF 4 while we were drivin’. It picked us right up– dropped us in a field about half a mile away.”
“EF 4?” you asked cluelessly.
“It’s the Enhanced Fujita Scale,” your brother replied. “It measures the tornado's speed and estimated damage.”
“That’s right,” Tyler smiled, like he was proud of your brother for knowing. “They measure on a scale of 0-5.”
“What was the one that hit us today?” you asked warily.
“Today was an EF1,” Tyler answered.
All the blood drained from your face. “A one?” you gaped.
In the midst of taking a bite of corn, he nodded.
“You’re telling me that thing could have been worse?”
The corner of Tyler’s lip twitched upwards. “A lot worse,” he said grimly. “That’s why it was safe to stay in my truck. We drive her into zero’s and one’s all the time, she handles a two pretty good. Even managed a three once.”
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.
The rest of the evening consisted of your brother bombarding Tyler with questions about his job– how many tornadoes had he seen? What was an EF5 like? Had he ever seen a cow fly through the air like in the movies?
But you had a hard time listening after a while– each additional fact you learned about tornadoes made your skin crawl. Your heart rate had picked up again– similar to how it was in the shower. It was taking all of your energy to just appear normal while you picked at the remaining food on your plate.
Why would anyone willing chase one of those things? What you witnessed today was one of the smallest possible tornadoes– and it was still terrifying. You couldn’t imagine if you’d been out there faced by something worse.
Their conversation eventually became muffled background noise, something that nestled in the back of your mind while you tried to focus on your breath and willed yourself not to shake.
That is, until you feel something boney jab in your side, making everything come back into focus again.
“What?” you asked, turning cluelessly towards your brother.
“Tyler asked if you were done,” he said, nodding towards your plate.
“Oh–” you said, embarrassed. That’s when you noticed Tyler was now standing, arm extended like he was reaching for your dish. “Yeah– yeah, I’m done.”
He moved to collect your plate for you but you stopped him. “No, I’ll get these– you guys talk.”
“You sure?” he asked warily.
“Yeah, I’m sure– You cook and house us, I can do some dishes.”
With a brief, unconvincing smile, you quickly gathered as much as you could in your arms and fled into the kitchen for some space.
What the hell was wrong with you? It was like you couldn’t catch your breath, no matter how hard you tried.
As you scrubbed at the dishes, arms extended under warm water, you tried desperately to get it together. No one had died– no one had even gotten hurt. Plus, like Tyler had told your brother– the probability of this happening again was incredibly slim. So why couldn’t you stop feeling like that EF1 was consuming you?
By the time you were finished with the dishes, your hands were shaking so bad, you could barely set them on the drying rack. So, you snapped off the water and leaned against the counter, gripping the lip of it tightly and taking some deep breaths. Vaguely, you heard your little brother’s laughter from the other room. You latched onto the sound and tried to let it soothe you.
Everyone was okay.
He’s laughing– he’s having fun. You’re all okay.
After his laughter stills, you hear the sound of chair legs sliding across the floor. “I’m gonna go grab some water, you want any dessert, big guy? I got ice cream.”
“No thanks, I’m full from the burgers.”
Tyler chuckled. “Alright, be right back.”
Quickly, you swallowed the lump in your throat and started putting the condiments away, trying to look as normal as possible before Tyler approached.
“Thanks for doing all of those,” Tyler said once he got to the kitchen. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Oh, it’s the least I could do,” you said, turning to face him.
“My mom would kill me if she knew I let my guest do the dishes.”
“My mom would kill me if she knew I let someone save, cook, and house me without me doing the dishes.”
Tyler grinned. “Fair enough, New Hampshire.”
“You keep calling me that,” you said. “But I don’t actually live in New Hampshire, you know?”
Tyler’s eyebrow curled up in an expression that said tell me more.
“My mom and brother live there. I used to live there. But now I have an apartment in Boston, been there since college.”
“Boston?” Tyler repeated. “Ah, so you’re like a nine-to-five city girl.”
You frowned. “Not anymore,” you admitted. “It was killing me. Especially in the winter– you go to work before the sun’s up, and you’re out after it sets. I couldn’t do it anymore, so I recently quit.”
“What’re you gonna do now?” he inquired.
You shrugged. “I’m trying to figure that out. Probably move somewhere with less concrete, and hopefully find a job that lets me out before the sun sets.”
Tyler set his glass of water on the kitchen island. “So what you’re saying is I can’t call you New Hampshire or Boston?”
“You got a problem with just using people’s names?”
Tyler shrugged. “I like nicknames. Shows that someone’s special to ya.”
You felt like your feet had been knocked out from underneath you. You cleared your throat before looking away, heat rushing to your cheeks.
“You know, I don’t mean to pry,” Tyler said, changing the subject. “But are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine,” you said quickly.
“I just– at dinner you seemed a little zoned out.”
“I’m just tired,” you lied.
Tyler paused, eyes scanning you sincerely. His gaze felt like it could set you on fire– like every inch of your skin was set ablaze. Ultimately, he decided to back off. “Okay then,” he said. “I’ll finish up here, why don’t you guys get settled for bed? It’s been a long day.”
“Okay– yeah, that’s a good idea.”
Pushing off the counter, you brushed past him, pausing only when you got to the doorframe.
“Tyler?”
He spun around quickly.
“I know you said to stop thanking you but seriously… Thank you. For everything.”
His lips curled upwards in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes the way you’d already learned you liked. He gave a curt nod. “I’m happy to do it, New Hampshire,” he said, sticking with his original nickname.
You made your way upstairs to bed with your little brother and a stupid smile plastered on your face.
…
“We have to move!” you shouted, hoping your brother could hear you above the wind.
But instead of reacting or doing anything at all, he just stood there– his back towards you while he stared at the swirling clouds in the distance.
“Hey!” you screamed. “We gotta go!”
You took a step forward– but weren’t any closer to him.
Frowning, you took another step– then another. But the distance remained the same. Screaming his name, you pleaded with him to turn around. If he didn’t move, you were both going to die– the tornado had touched down. It was barrelling right for you. It was sucking roofs off houses, and breaking fences into tiny pieces. Debris flew all around at what seemed like a hundred miles per hour– shards of glass, pieces of plywood. Something was going to hit you– or worse, your brother.
You were running now, trying desperately to reach him. If you could just get there in time, maybe you could grab his arm and pull him away in time.
But it was no use– you were too slow. And the tornado was so fast. Right before your eyes– you saw your brother get sucked into the funnel– his entire frame flying up in the air.
You screamed–
He screamed back– you heard your name echo through the storm.
He was calling for you– begging for you to save him.
You screamed louder–
Then you heard a voice yell. Except, this voice didn’t match your brothers—it was too deep and less familiar. Your body tensed as you were jostled.
With force, your eyes finally snapped open, revealing the vaguely familiar room around you. The moonlight poured through the curtain that you forgot to close and revealed Tyler’s worried-looking face peering over her. His green eyes were blown open and wide, his lips slightly parted as his gaze raked over the length of you.
“Tyler–” you croaked.
“There you are,” he exhaled. “You’re okay, you’re at my house– you’re safe.”
You opened your mouth, instantly trying to think of a way to brush this whole thing off– maybe make a joke or something to ease the tension. But instead of finding words, a choppy, uneven huff of air poured out of you. You tried again, but this time all you could do was desperately gasp– like you couldn’t get enough air in your lungs.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Tyler said. You felt the bed dip as he sat down beside you. Without even thinking, you reached out for him– fingers clasping onto the fabric of his white t-shirt. He placed his hands on top of yours and gave them a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
“Baby, you’re okay,” he said. If you could breathe, you might have melted at the pet name he gave you. Instead, your wild eyes searched his desperately. “I got you. Breathe with me– look.” Tyler took a couple of deep breaths, exaggerating the act so that you’d copy him. You tried, but ended up just choking harder.
“Just do it with me.”
With an intense amount of concentration, you were finally able to latch onto the sound of Tyler breathing. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.
“There you go,” he soothed. “You got it.”
You’re not sure how long the two of you stayed like that– but eventually, your breathing returned to normal.
That’s when the embarrassment kicked in. Because how utterly mortifying to be a guest at someone’s home and to wake them up screaming because of some stupid nightmare.
“I’m so–”
“Don’t even think about apologizing,” Tyler said gently. “You got nothing to be sorry for.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but then realized there was no point. Tyler would just refute whatever you said. So instead, you asked the question that had been burning in your brain since you got to the farm house.
“Why am I so affected by this and no one else is? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Tyler assured you instantly. “In fact, you’re probably the only normal one in this house– most people get freaked out after bein’ near a tornado, much less in the middle of one. I have this weird thing goin’ on where I just feel more alive if my life’s in danger, and no offense but I think your brother’s brain might be wired a little differently than most.”
You let out a genuine laugh– the first of the night. “He’s on the spectrum,” you explained. “You’re really good with him, you know? Most people just think he’s odd and ignore him. But not you– you actually talk to him.”
Tyler smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he did. “He’s a good kid.”
You nodded in agreement. “You know he didn’t even want to come on this road trip with me? He wanted to fly to my dad’s– but I talked him into it. I’ve felt so lost since quitting my job and I needed a distraction. I used my little brother as a distraction.”
“Wanting to spend time with someone doesn’t mean you’re using them. It seems like he’s having a good time,” Tyler said. “He told me all about the Titanic museum you took him to in Nashville.”
You chuckled. “He loves disasters. It’s kind of his thing. That’s why he knows so much about tornadoes–”
“And today he got to see one– up close. I bet he’ll tell that story for the rest of his life.”
“The story about how his older sister almost got him killed,” you said, head hanging with shame.
“The story of how his big sister stayed so incredibly calm, even though she was terrified– just so that she could make sure he was okay. The big sister who kept him safe even though they got caught in a tornado.”
You glanced up towards Tyler to see him looking at you with what looked like yearning in his expression. You wanted to just lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck– let him hold you and comfort you and tell you that everything was going to be alright. You couldn’t know for sure but he just looked like he gave the best hugs. Instead though, you tried to come to your senses. You blinked harshly, and glanced down at the blankets pooled in your lap.
“I hate being afraid,” you admitted. “I know it’s normal– and it keeps us safe. But it makes me feel weak.”
“I get it,” Tyler replied. “That’s why I started the channel. I was sick of being afraid of ‘em, so I decided to chase ‘em instead.”
“Yeah, well maybe I’ll have to tag along with your team on the next one,” you joked.
Tyler’s face lit up. “You could, you know. We go all the time– and it’s tornado season in Oklahoma so we probably wouldn't have to wait that long to find one.”
He couldn’t possibly be serious– but the look on his face told you that he was.
“My dad’s getting us tomorrow,” you reminded him.
All the excitement on Tyler’s face fell– making something inside of you fall with it. “Right,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course, yeah.”
“But maybe I’ll tune into your channel,” you offered, hoping to get even a hint of that excitement back. You hated seeing him disappointed.
Tyler smiled, “You better,” he teased, nudging your leg through the blanket. “Hey, I don’t know about you, but I’m probably not going to get much sleep tonight. You want some tea or somethin’?”
You couldn’t help but nod– it was hard to say no to him.
…
You and Tyler ended up talking through most of the night. The more you talked, the more you realized he was someone you could really see yourself falling for. He made you laugh– and not the fake kind you did to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, either. On several occasions, he had you curled over, shaking with laughter because of something he said. And he was a good listener– always asking follow-up questions or inquiring more.
Before you knew it, six entire hours had passed and the sun was rising on the east side of the barn, shining golden light through the gaps in the curtains.
You had found yourself curled up in the living room, back pressed against the arm of the couch and facing Tyler. He shifted in his seat, and, without thinking, you tucked your feet underneath his thigh, causing him to hiss.
“Your feet are freezing,” he gasped playfully, but he didn't pull away.
You laughed in response, digging them further underneath his legs.
“I can feel them through my pants,” he said, laughing with you.
“It’s morning,” you observed, unable to believe that you spent an entire night talking to him.
He bit his lip and nodded. “Time flies.” He chuckled lightly before standing up from the couch, leaving your feet feeling cold again, and walking into the adjoined kitchen. You followed him awkwardly, just a step or two behind. You watch as he retrieved two mugs from a tall cabinet and placed them on the countertop.
“Coffee?” he asked, nonchalantly, holding the cup up as an offering.
You sighed a breath of relief at the thought of coffee– especially after only an hour or two of sleep. “Yes. Please.”
Tyler rummaged around the kitchen for a few minutes, putting the coffee on before peering into the fridge. He pulled some items out, placing them gently on the counter behind him. His back was turned towards you for the most part, and you couldn’t help but watch him as he moved. It was a nice view, you thought.
“Do you like eggs?” Tyler’s words interrupted your staring. “I have some bacon, too.”
“You’re making breakfast?” You asked, your tone sounding sharper than intended through your disbelief. First saving your life, then dinner, then a place to sleep, then comforting you during a nightmare, now breakfast…
Tyler nodded, “I’m a breakfast guy. Unless you’re not hungry,” he said, backtracking quickly. “I just thought–”
You could sense the panic in his voice, almost as if he was just as nervous as you. You quickly spoke up to reassure him. “No- I love breakfast. I just wasn’t expecting any, is all.”
Tyler subtly exhaled a breath of relief. “Yeah well, be sure to give me a five star review. I’m competing with the cockroach motel for business. Scrambled okay?” he asked, motioning towards the eggs.
You nodded before taking a seat at the island.
Tyler continued to work with his back to you, arms moving a bit as he scrambled the eggs that were cooking in the pan. When he was finished, he pulled out three plates and portioned some into each. Then he moved to throw the toast and sausage he’d also made on top.
Because your brother wasn’t up yet, Tyler set a paper towel over his plate, preserving it for now before traveling to your side of the island and taking a seat right beside you.
The two of you ate breakfast, your conversation never faltering. You talked about school– what you studied, who your roommates were. You talked about jobs and family– one conversation just naturally progressing to the next.
After about half an hour, your brother staggered downstairs– his hair poking out in all directions informing you that he slept “like a baby.” Tyler listened to him talk about his dream– something about robots chasing tornadoes. Tyler asked him follow up questions, too– like what kind of robots they were and what kind of truck they used to chase the tornadoes.
Tyler was kind of beautiful, you found yourself quickly realizing. Not that you hadn’t noticed how attractive he was before– of course you had… Practically the first moment you laid your eyes on him after your life was in danger. But Tyler smiled this giant smile as he let your brother talk his ear off about stuff you knew he couldn’t possibly care about. But he pretended to– and his eyes got crinkly and his laugh came straight from his belly.
You supposed you could blame your fluttering stomach on the adrenaline still coursing through your system after being attacked by a tornado and then having a panic attack last night. Your skin felt electrified. But you knew that the trauma you’d endured had nothing to do with it. You knew it could only be Tyler that was making you feel this way. And you’d only known the man for about sixteen hours by now, but you couldn’t deny what you already felt for him.
It felt easy with Tyler. And although you spent the night before pretending you were fine– you realized that you didn’t have to. He was someone you could just be authentic with.
Your dad reached out to you shortly after seven, informing you he was on the road and would be in Stillwater just around noon.
You found yourself dreading having to say goodbye to Tyler before the moment even came.
In the meantime, he took the time to show your brother the horses, letting him spend as much time with them as he wanted. Then he gave him a full tour of the barn– chickens and cows alike.
You were outside, watching your brother be brave enough to approach one of the horses that Tyler had ensured was friendly when his phone went off beside you.
Tyler pulled it from his pocket and checked the caller ID before sliding his thumb across the screen.
“Hey Boone,” he answered. “No, I haven’t looked yet. Why? Oh is it? Where?”
You tried not to eavesdrop, but you really couldn’t help it.
“What time are they thinking? Yeah, no. I’m busy until noon. Three’s perfect. Alright– see you then, bye.”
He slid his phone back in his pocket with ease, his attention falling to you.
“Another tornado?” you asked, eyebrows raised skeptically.
He smirked. “Can’t stop weather, New Hampshire. Invite’s still there if you wanna tag along.”
…
Despite how badly you wanted time to stretch on forever, your father’s truck rode into the driveway just before after noon.
Tyler took all your luggage downstairs and loaded it into the truck while the three of you reunited. You met your dad halfway between his car and the porch, letting him pull you in for a tight hug.
“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he murmured into your hair before reaching for your brother. When he was done embracing you both, he held his hand out towards Tyler.
“Thank you, son,” he said genuinely. “For being there for them.”
“My pleasure, sir,” Tyler replied, shaking his hand firmly.
To your surprise, after everything was loaded in the car, your brother ran right up to Tyler and wrapped his arms around his waist– offering him a hug. Your brother rarely showed affection to those within his family– let alone people outside of it. In your eyes, that was further evidence of how special Tyler really was.
Tyler hugged him back before ruffling his hair affectionately. “Take care, bud. Thanks for helpin’ me with the horses today. You gonna come back and visit soon?”
He nodded eagerly– to your delight, the pair had exchanged numbers.
“Alright c’mon,” your dad said, ushering your brother to the car and leaving you and Tyler alone.
“What about you?” Tyler asked, taking a step closer to you. “Are you gonna come back and visit soon?”
Your entire insides erupted– like molten lava was encasing everything inside of you. You could smell the aftershave he’d splashed on his neck and wanted nothing more than for it to just engulf you entirely. “That depends,” you said, standing your ground as he took another step forward.
“On what?” he asked gently, reaching across the small space between you to tuck a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. It was a simple, yet incredibly intimate action that made your knees feel wobbly.
“Are you going to drive me into the middle of a tornado?”
“I might.”
You smirked. “Well then, I guess I might come back.”
“Lord help me if you do, New Hampshire.”
You knew your dad was right behind you– but you couldn’t help but wish Tyler would kiss you right then and there– prove to you that he felt the same things you were feeling. Then maybe you could leave behind your dad and brother and stay a little longer with Tyler. But that was too big of a risk without the confirmation. You looked at him eagerly, willing him to say something.
“So I guess I’ll see ya around,” he said, making your shoulders fall.
It felt so final.
“See ya around,” you replied, hating to admit how disappointed you actually felt. You offered him one final smile before turning around and jogging back towards your dad’s truck.
…
“You’re an idiot,” your brother said from the backseat, catching you off guard.
“Excuse me?” you said, turning to face him.
“Why didn’t you stay? I heard Tyler invite you like three times.”
You frowned. “He didn’t mean it. He was just being nice.”
“I don’t think Tyler says things he doesn’t mean,” he said simply.
You heard your dad let out a choked laugh from beside you.
“I can’t just stay at Tyler’s house–” you said. “That’s crazy. We’re going back to Texas.”
“Actually, I already drove six hours today,” your dad said. “I really don’t want to drive another six, so I was planning on grabbing a hotel. We could just pick you up later,” he suggested.
“Or not,” your brother piped in.
You bit your lip– and really considered the possibility of taking Tyler up on his offer. But that was crazy– you barely knew him. What if he didn’t really mean it– what if he was just trying to be nice?
“I think you’re just afraid,” your brother said.
“Afraid?” you said with disbelief. “Of what?”
“Tornadoes, rejection, love… you name it.”
God, you hated being afraid.
…
Tyler watched as your dad’s truck got smaller as it drove further away. He kicked himself for not trying harder, for not doing more to convince you to stay. He knew he couldn’t force you, and the last thing he wanted to be was too pushy, but damn he wished you’d taken the bait.
He could’ve kissed you– God, he wanted to. But your dad’s gaze was lingering warily and he just couldn’t take the chance. What if you pulled away? What if you were insulted? What if he’d read all these signs totally wrong?
He’d never felt anything like how he felt around you. And he just knew that the sound of your laugh would hold a spot in his heart forever.
But maybe this was how your story was supposed to end– like a tornado. No matter how badly he wanted it to last forever, eventually they all fizzled out to blue skies.
Full of self-pity, Tyler was just about to turn and head back into the house when he saw the brake lights of your dad’s truck turn on. In the distance, he watched as you climbed carefully out of the front seat, hoist open the back door, and haul your luggage out.
His heart fluttered at the sight. But when he saw you grab your bag and start jogging back towards him like you had a purpose, he felt like his chest might explode.
You wanted to stay–
With a newfound confidence, Tyler began running towards you, kicking up dirt and rocks as he went.
When he reached you– just past the mailbox in the road, you offered him a small smile.
“You came back,” he observed.
You shrugged your shoulders, slightly out of breath. “I did.”
“Why?” he dared to ask.
You paused, like you were really thinking about his question. After a moment, you said, “I think the one thing that scares me more than tornadoes right now is you,” you admitted to him. “And I really hate being afraid.”
Tyler was pleasantly surprised when you started stepping forward. He matched your efforts and soon– you were almost chest to chest. He glanced down at you with awe.
“Some cocky YouTube star once told me that you should chase your fears,” you said breathlessly.
Tyler couldn't contain the smile that was spreading across his entire face. “He sounds like a really smart guy, you should introduce me–”
“Will you shut up and please just kiss–”
Before you could even get the words out, Tyler reacted the way his body wanted him to. Firmly but gently, he cupped your jaw with one hand, the other arm curling around your back.
And then, right there on the lone dirt road that always had a way of feeling like home, he kissed you with everything he had.
#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens x reader imagine#twisters imagine#twisters fic#tyler owens x reader fic#tyler owens imagine#tyler owens x you#twisters#tyler owens#tyler owens fanfic
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how slasher reacts that s/o is rude and hot-tempered with everyone but with him he becomes sweet and kind ?? (pleaseee do Tommy)
Slashers x Rude Reader
Micheal Myers:
•Honestly whatever
•He thinks it's a little funny when you're sassy or bitchy with people
•He chill with almost whatever you do
•Loves feeling like He's the only person in your world (He's toxic like that)
•giving only him your affection sends every happy chemical to his brain
•No matter what your relationship, He wants to be the only one
Billy loomis & Stu macher:
•You give these boys whiplash
•One second you're yelling at somebody, and the next you're giggling and laughing with them
•However watching you blow up at a guy for flirting with you is enough to make them stay
•If you're also a Ghostface, they're putting you on phone duty. They love your sassy one-liners
•They both back you up all the time, whether you're wrong or right
•these boys are real ride or dies (You did watch the movie right?)
Thomas Hewitt:
•Confused
•He has no idea how you can switch up so fast
•He loves how kind you are to him, But watching you be mean to everybody else makes his head spin
•On one hand he loves being around you, and you are truly his best friend. On the other, he doesn't know How you even became friends in the first place at times
•Your smile is enough to remind him though
•But he also knows that your mouth is going to get you in trouble, So he's double protective
Bubba Sawyer:
•Another case of whiplash
•But at least you get to stand up and fit in with his brothers
•they're the rudest people he knows, So at least he knows that you're truly part of the family
•And someone has to tell the cashier he ordered no pickles, And it's not going to be him
•Loves seeing your ‘soft’ side (It makes him feel special and trusted)
Bo Sinclair:
•Loves it
•Couldn’t be more proud
•Watching you snap at travelers is enough to put hearts in his eyes
•He cheers you on while you verbally brawl with others
•Sometimes wishes you're that bitchy with him (But then he remembers all the people you made cry, and prefers not to be on that receiving end)
Vincent Sinclair:
•A little unsettled by the deja vu he gets
•You remind him so much of his brother that it bothers him to a degree
•Then you're so sweet to him and he forgets that feeling for a while
•However he will have a mini crisis by how many rude people are in his life….or were
•Asks you to try and be a little nicer to people, while also giving you permission to have screaming matches with Bo (You leave poor Lester out of it!)
Lester Sinclair:
•He kind of needs someone to stand up for him
•someone has to set his brother's straight, and it sure ain't going to be him
•views you like a guard dog
•He's so grateful for it too
•Tries to repay you by taking you the scenic routes if you tag along with him for work
Billy Lenz:
•Whenever he's fed up he hands you the phone line
•Another slasher that cheers you on
•Scream at the sorority girls all you want, no matter what he'll be behind you with imaginary pom-poms
•And when you turn around and look at him with affection, it makes him melt
•Will be snuggled up to your mid section with you curse a bitch out
•If you literally weren't the only person in his life, you'd be a little concerned that you are his comfort person
Brahms Heelshire:
•as long as you're not rude to him, whatever
•kind of loves it, but will not admit it
•It makes him less prone to jump out and grab people
•Will still snatch a hoe if needed, but he loves to watch you take care of ‘pests’
•Sassing the grocery Boy is a sure way to get Brahms to do whatever you want
•It just makes him feel secure, heard, and understood
Hannibal Lecter:
•Be honest with yourself
•You do not have Will Graham privileges
•You're going in the soup
•om nom nom nom 😋
Will Graham:
•another case of: whatever don't care
•(Not) The rudest couple in town
•You've both mastered the “Bitch Please” Look
•Hannibal tries telling Will that you are bad influence, Will doesn't listen and does not care
•you're as sweetest can be to him and feed his puppies, that is enough for him
The Lost Boys:
•You fit right in
•What other possible qualifications would you need to have to join the residential sassy, vampire, biker, club??
•Watching you curse out a clumsy Tourist makes their day
•David Loves to stand back and watch you ruin a sleazy dudes day
•Dwayne tries to reel you in when you go to far, but will mostly let you do your thing
•Paul and Marko Are your personal cheerleaders through and through! Right or wrong!
•But walking around the boardwalk, terrorizing tourists, spending time together in the cave, and overall spending time with them Really solidifies your place in the gang!
Thanks for Reading!
#slashers#Michael Myers#Billy loomis#stu macher#Thomas Hewitt#bubba sawyer#Bo Sinclair#vincent sinclair#lester sinclair#billy lenz#brahms heelshire#Hannibal Lecter#Will Graham#the lost boys#michael myers x reader#billy loomis x stu macher x reader#thomas hewitt x reader#bubba saywer x reader#bo sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair x reader#lester sinclair x reader#billy lenz x reader#brahms heelsire x reader#hannibal x reader#will graham x reader#The lost boys x reader#david the lost boys x reader#dwayne the lost boys x reader#paul the lost boys x reader#marko the lost boys x reader
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older boyfriend!Joel Miller who feels sort of embarrassed when you see a picture of him younger, worrying you'd find him more attractive back then but he soon relaxes when you remind him how handsome he truly is
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who thought having a younger girlfriend was just the result of a mid life crisis whenever he saw one of his friends walking around with a hot chick, but couldn't believe how deeply in love he was with you nor why he found true love later in life
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who's embarrassed to say out loud how much his back hurts after a busy day at work but he's so freaking thankful when you give him a good massage before bed
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who sometimes gets a little bothered to see greys on his hair here and there, or the white patch on his beard, but he relaxes as soon as you kiss all over his salt and pepper jaw and assures him how sexy he looks
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who manages to keep up with new trends and stuff he doesn't quite get the fuss about but still makes an effort just because you are showing it to him; he doesn't get the fuss about tiktok, but he will gladly watch a video you send him
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who won't admit he actually enjoys watching videos on tiktok after you showed it to him because it's entertaining as hell
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who also appreciates when you show interest in the things he likes, the older movies, or references you might not actually get but you still find lovely
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who hates when someone at a bar or restaurant confuses him with your father, even if he doesn't look that old
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who's thankful you didn't listen to people who said he was too old for you or kept making stupid jokes about his age, after all, your love for each other goes beyond details like those
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who knows exactly how to treat you like a princess, because he's had a wife before and it didn't work out, even if it wasn't exactly his fault, as she was the one who walked out of it leaving their daughter behind he makes sure you won't have any reasons to do the same
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who doesn't necessarily want another baby but wouldn't be mad if you showed up pregnant and more than that, sometimes when he's deep inside of you, he can't help but imagine impregnating you
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who definitely needs glasses but won't ever admit he needs one even if you assure him he'll look so sexy with it
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who's a gentleman and takes you on old school dates such as diner dates or drive in movies and melts your heart each time he gives you that shy smile
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who's the best lover you'd ever had always concerned about your pleasure and making sure you are having a good time
older boyfriend!Joel Miller who's the man of your dreams and the man you love the most in the whole world
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal headcanon#pedro pascal headcanons#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#joel miller headcanon#joel miller headcanons
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The Commune
Cult Leader!Aemond x Niece!Reader
Summary: A modern AU where Aemond, power-hungry and high on hubris, is the leader of a commune with a peculiar affection for the Seven.
Warnings: 18+, dark themes (mind the tags!), AFAB reader, depictions of depression, manipulation, coercion, dubcon/noncon, targcest (no description of appearance), fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), facefucking, humiliation, (noncon) spanking, semi-public sex, P in V, breeding kink
Word Count: 19k
A/N: I've wanted to edit this for a while and finally got around to it! It took all week 🫠 I definitely feel like the fic got a face-lift! Enjoy ✨
Leaving
Your heart is beating fast and hard when you wake up.
The shrill sound of your alarm clock does little to ease your tense state, abruptly ruining the quiet calm that had previously occupied your bedroom. Without fully opening your eyes, you reach for its usual spot on the nightstand and press snooze, hoping for a little more serenity before you have to get up and face yet another insufferable day at work.
How could such a dull job cause you so much stress?
Why did it make you wake up each night with a heavy swirl of dread and anxiety tightening in your chest, rendering you unable to fall back asleep?
You’ve never been this tired before, yet you’ve never found sleep harder to obtain.
With a sigh you push yourself out of the warm comfort of your bed. It is so soft and smells like home; laundry detergent and the scented candle you keep on the nightstand.
The forced separation almost makes you cry as your body shivers in your chill bedroom.
Each day as heavy to bear as the next.
You grab the robe you have hanging on the back of the bedroom door and head for the kitchen with slow, heavy steps; dragging your feet behind you.
When had life turned so monotone?
When was the last time you truly enjoyed yourself without thinking about work?
Why did you find yourself in an existential crisis before you’d even had your morning coffee?
You load the small coffee maker, pull out a carton of yoghurt and dump some into a bowl before reaching for the packet of granola standing on top of your fridge.
You grab a mug, pour some coffee into it, and shake up your oat milk before adding a splash.
Same fucking breakfast each day.
Moving to the living room, you curl into yourself on your sofa, turning on the same morning show you always watch as you sip your coffee and feel a tiny bit of relief at the comfort that the warm liquid offers as it slides down your throat.
The unnaturally cheery hosts on TV are in the middle of some segment about reusing egg cartons when your phone vibrates. You already know who it is, tapping on the screen to see “mum” and her usual morning text, asking you how you're feeling and what you have planned for the day.
It's harder to pretend like everything's fine when it's her asking. She can always tell that you're faking it; that whatever you say is just an empty, repetitive attempt at assuring her that you are fine.
You don't really mean any of it.
And she knows.
You shoot her a quick reply, trying to ease her worries but not really having the energy to fully commit,
“I’m good, going to work and meeting up with Sara after”
A small lie, though you are planning on sending a text to see if Sara's available later. Regrettably, your weekly dinners had been reduced to monthly ones, but still.
Do it for mum.
“Have you finished checking the reports I asked you to look over?”
Gwayne does not even spare you a glance as he comes up to your desk in the office, eyes glued to his phone and thumbs violently tapping the screen. He wasn’t the worst boss to have, but he certainly wasn’t nice or understanding either, promptly ignoring any signs of distress you were showing. You know you have been looking worse and worse as the stress of the job has settled in; skin going duller and bags under your eyes becoming more prominent. Yet, he stubbornly says nothing, relying on you to finish work swiftly without ever talking back or asking for some guidance.
“Yes, I just have to glance them over one last time before I forward them to you”, you answer, noticing how tedious your voice has become.
He hums, eyes still on his phone,
“And then I’ll need you to double-check that you’ve replied to any urgent emails before going home today. Would really fuck up my schedule next week if I’d have to keep track of your inbox as well”
“Yes, sure”, you reply before even taking in what Gwayne had told you,
“Wait, what do you mean? Next week?”, you question, seeing him briefly scrunch his eyebrows together before finally looking up from his phone, locking eyes with you,
“Yes, you have next week off, remember? Last chance to use up those paid days off you’ve accumulated, and the union has made it quite clear that we cannot give you a bonus instead”, he rolls his eyes at the last part.
“Week off? But I have meetings lined up next week, deadlines closing in”
Despite knowing that you probably need the break, you feel the familiar tightening in your chest as you consider all tasks you were planning on doing next week.
Gwayne, seeming to be done with the conversation, turns and walks away from your desk, eyes again locked on his phone as he replies, “Then you’ll just have to get it sorted today”
“Well that’s lovely, sweetheart!”
Rhaenyra’s voice sounds relieved when you tell her the news of your unplanned week off. You had been forced to stay at the office for two additional hours just to make sure that you finished up any urgent business, resulting in you cancelling the dinner plans you'd made with Sara and consequently spending another evening by yourself at home.
“Why don’t you get away for a bit? You might enjoy a change of scenery?”, she asks.
You were too exhausted to even think about planning and booking a trip, replying “Yeah, sure” dispassionately as you stir the pot of pasta cooking on the stove.
All you want to do is lay in bed, listen to music and try as best as you can to turn your brain off; to not think about anything.
Contently brainless.
You don't want to think about how you’d gotten your dream job, just to realise that you despise it.
You don't want to think about how every day felt like a repetition of the one before, nothing exciting ever happening.
You don't want to think about the strong suspicion you have that every fucking choice you’ve ever made has lead you to a life that you detest.
“Why don’t you go visit Helaena? I know she’s misses you”, your mothers voice pulls you away from the negative thoughts spiralling in your head,
“I think the place is about two hours by train from Oldtown, out in the country. Maybe some fresh air would do you good?”
You knew Helaena had moved out to the country about a year ago, exhausted and overstimulated from the suffocating drain of the fast-paced city that King’s Landing is. She’d sent you a letter, not a text or a call, some time ago to let you know that she was okay and she’d love it if you came by to visit her.
“Mm, I do miss her…”, you mumble into your phone, thinking of the last time you’d seen her. It was Aegon’s birthday almost one and a half years ago. She’d seemed lost and sad. Like she often did.
Like you often did, nowadays.
“Yeah, maybe that’d do me some good”, you finally agree, hearing Rhaenyra let out a sigh of relief at your words. You know she's worried you’d stay home all week, doing nothing but dwelling in sadness.
“That’s lovely, dear! I’m sure she’ll be ecstatic to see you. You know Aemond lives there too, right?"
You’d heard that Aemond had left King’s Landing shortly after finishing his PhD as well. You’d been with your mum when Alicent called her, filled to the brim with worry over her overachieving son turning down a position at Oldtown University in order to move out to the middle of nowhere, claiming that he’d be "conducting private research".
You had actually been excited for him to move to Oldtown. Having some family close by would’ve been a nice escape from the loneliness of the city.
Besides, you and Aemond had drifted apart as you both grew older, despite being thick as thieves in your childhood.
Maybe it’d be nice to see him too.
You lean your head against the train window, watching the city landscape make way for the lush greenery of the Reach in late summer.
Being trapped in the city you’d almost forgotten how beautiful it was here; a stark difference from Dragonstone, where you’d spent most of your upbringing.
It's not that you don't miss the sea. As a child, you'd loved the way the harsh, salty winds whipped at your face, leaving you wet and impossibly refreshed as you stared out towards the horizon, thinking of everything awaiting you there.
The potential of what your life could've become felt a lot more comforting than the reality of it.
You hadn't been able to call Helaena to inform her that you’d like to visit. Apparently, she didn’t have a mobile phone anymore, but after sending a text to Alicent you’d gotten a hold of her new number; a landline.
You didn’t know how she managed without a smartphone, but figured that the stress of constant notifications might have made her decide to ditch it.
Grabbing your bag from between your legs, your hand rummages through it in blind search for your pocket mirror.
You pull it out, open it and check your reflection.
Still the same tired face, with dark bags permanently residing under your eyes. You hadn’t slept well last night either, despite having some much needed rest from work.
Why was your body seemingly incapable of relaxing?
You feel around for some concealer, dotting a bit on your finger and patting it under your eye; a useless attempt at hiding the fatigue prevalent on your face.
Defeated, you lean back in your seat.
The train ride's nice. You spend the entire 2 hours and 12 minutes listening to music, watching the scenery flash by.
Thoroughly zoned out, you nearly miss the conductor announcing your station.
You hastily grab your bag and rush out of the door. The station, if you could even call it that, is small; just two tracks going opposite directions.
It's closer to a bus stop, a place where people get off and quickly make way to their final destination.
You spot Helaena immediately. She's standing on the platform in a lilac summer dress, her silver hair shining in the sunlight.
Although you can only really make out her silhouette, she seems different. As you come closer, the wide smile that she sports comes into view.
Gosh, she looks radiant!
So different from her gloomy, distant self back in King’s Landing.
“I’m so happy you’re here!”, she squeals, wrapping you in her arms.
She hugs you tightly, and you hug her back, burying your nose in her hair. It feels good to hug someone you care for.
When was the last time you did that?
“Thank you for having me”, you respond as Helaena pulls away, still holding you in her arms, eyes flickering over your face.
Her smile falters for a second before it returns and she starts talking excitedly about her new home, telling you that it’s only a 20 minute walk from the station and you could catch up on the way.
You follow her down the steps from the platform, answering a few questions about work and your life in Oldtown.
She leads you away from the small station, down a path where a few houses lay scattered sporadically.
You can hardly call this a town; far too minuscule. Still, you notice what seems to be a little supermarket, a pharmacy, a gas station and what looks like an elementary school, facing the tiny town square.
“I’ve been hoping you’d come visit ever since I sent you that letter”, Helaena gushes, taking your hand in hers as she led you down a small path going off the main road,
“I just know you’ll love our commune. Aemond thinks so too!”, she continues while squeezing your hand in hers.
“Commune?”, you ask and turn to face her.
She met your eyes and nods, face breaking out into a wide grin once again,
“Yes, Aemond’s research project! You know he specialised in philosophy when he did his PhD in Political Science, right? Well, he got really into the idea of having people live in smaller communities instead of the impersonal and detached lifestyles people pursue in modern cities”, she explains, eyes once again inspecting your face, only to land on the bags under your eyes.
You hum in response, seeing if she’ll continue.
“So, he used some of the money he had stored away in funds and created our commune; a small community where everyone knows each other and we get away from the stresses of city life. We grow our own crops, spend time outside and work together to keep the place running”, she explains, eyes gleaming with adoration,
“He said he did it for me, since he saw how bad my depression had gotten back in King’s Landing”, she adds, and you squeeze her hand affectionately. Aemond had always cared for Helaena, no one else seemed to truly understand her like he did.
“So, you feeling better now? Out here?”, you inquire, gesturing towards the green field you walk through, hand in hand.
You're not really paying attention to where you're going as Helaena guides you. Looking up, you find yourself surrounded by nature; not a building in sight.
The sun shines brightly, illuminating the beech trees towering over you, creating a roof of light green luminance.
“Yes, much better”, she replies with a smile. She seems so at peace here, encapsulating a kind of beauty that comes from within and hypnotises anyone laying eyes on her.
“And this, ehm, commune. How many people live there now?”, you ask, not knowing you’d be spending your time with a bunch of strangers.
Truth be told, you really didn’t feel up for it.
You barely have energy to hang out with Helaena and Aemond. Entertaining and getting to know new people would be especially draining.
“We’re already about 50 people. Most of them met Aemond when he was still in school”, she replies.
As if she could sense your uneasiness, her eyes search yours as she adds, “You’ll love them, I swear! Everyone’s super nice”
Together, you continue your path, walking up a small hill. As you look down, the commune comes into view.
You see small, cottage-looking houses, with large flowerbeds between them, filled with everything from herbs to vegetables.
There's a large building the middle of the field with walls much taller than the cottages. The building's made out of wood; a dark tone that contrasts against the light trees and green fields you’d passed on the way over.
Above the large entrance of the building is a large carving, resembling the seven-pointed star of the Faith.
Helaena, still excitedly chatting next to you about how lovely life is out in the country, pulls you towards the large building in quick steps,
“Aemond's dying to meet you! It’s been so long. I bet he’s in the Sept”, she explains, leading you through the tall, open door.
Your parents aren't particularly religious, which means you hadn’t spent much time in Septs and the like. Alicent’s family, however, were rather devoted; an integral part of the many faith's many fractions in Oldtown.
When you were younger, both Helaena and Aemond had spent a lot of time studying The Seven-Pointed Star. Still, the fact that they'd chosen to construct a Sept in such a small community shocks you.
Maybe they're more dedicated than you’d thought?
Entering the Sept, you recognise the back of a tall man with broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and long, silvery hair, tied in a low bun.
Helaena calls his name and he turns around, finding your gaze in an instant. His lone, purple eye crinkles slightly as he smiles at you, calling out your name in greeting.
Just like Helaena, he looks radiant; pale skin glowing, dress shirt and dark slacks perfectly ironed, and not a hair out of place.
As a child he was always so moody; volatile and sensitive.
Now, he seems so calm.
Too calm.
Like he was faking it.
“Welcome to our home. I hope the trip here wasn’t too draining?”, he asks, inspecting your fatigued face.
Seven hells, did everyone think you looked like the walking dead?
“It was a lovely ride out here. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the country is” you answer, trying your best to sound cheerier than you look.
He hums at your answer, placing a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. You can't make out if it's supposed to be an attempt at a greeting, or a way to comfort you.
His eye bores into yours,
“We’re so happy to finally have you here. Helaena will help you get sorted in one of our rooms and then I’ll introduce you to everyone”
His hand swiftly leaves your shoulder before he turns around, striding out of the large wooden doors of the Sept.
Reconnecting
After a few hasty greetings, you retreat to the room Helaena and Aemond have assigned to you.
You're exhausted from being bombarded with impressions, and collapse on your bed, finding uninterrupted sleep for the first time in months.
Hours later, you wake up to the sun illuminating your room, a low knocking sound by your door.
As your groggy mind slowly realises where you are, you hear Helaena call you from the outside, informing you that breakfast will be served in a few minutes.
You get up and move to the basin placed in the corner of your room, splashing some water on your face, checking your sleepy reflection.
You instantly notice that the heavy bags that had seemed to be a permanent feature under your eyes have faded slightly, and you look better and brighter than you had in a long time.
Mood elevated, you move to throw on a flowy, knee-length skirt and a linen blouse, reasoning that something loose-fitting would match the sunny, late-summer climate.
Stepping outside, the air is crisp.
The sun provides warmth as it makes contact with your skin, a welcomed relief to the slight chill still lingering.
You notice that the residents of the small community have gathered by a long, wooden table placed in the middle of a field not far away from where you stand. You quickly make your way there, spotting Helaena. Her eyes light up as she sees you approach, greeting you with a wide smile,
“We always have breakfast together”, she explains as people move around you swiftly, placing plates of bread, yoghurt, pastries, fresh fruit and vegetables on the massive table.
You spot Aemond, hands behind his back and posture straigh as he observes the people scurrying around him. He glances at you, giving you a small smile and a nod before he returns to his previously stoic state, observing the residents while they prepare for breakfast.
Helaena reappears next to you, arms wrapped around 5 glass vases filled with wildflowers. You help her place them on the table, admiring how utterly beautiful the set up looks.
The commune, as you'd heard one resident call it, has a simplistic aesthetic. Most rooms are only occupied by whatever furniture’s necessary to maximise functionality; tables, chairs and beds made out of wood, decorated with nature-toned linens.
Yet, there is a beauty to it you’d hardly seen before; an appreciation for a simple charm that's often lost in the hectic mess of cities like Oldtown or King’s Landing.
You take a seat next to Helaena, eager to devour the delicious-looking food in front of you.
Though most residents are seated by now, no one moves to touch the various plates filled to the brim with mouth-watering food.
You look over at the end of the long table and notice Aemond standing, hands still clasped behind his back. He softly clears his throat, and the cheery chatter dissolves in an instance, all eyes shifting to watch the tall, silver-haired man standing before them,
“Good morning. I hope you all slept well and feel ready for a day of prosperity”, Aemond starts, eye moving across the table to acknowledge everyone present.
Most of the residents are older than both you and Aemond. You even heard that a handful of them used to be his professors back in King’s Landing.
You're still not sure how he’d managed to get them all to move out here, but as he speaks, you notice how intensely everyone observes him, taking in every word that leaves his lips,
“Let us pray”, he orders, and each one of your tablemates bring their hands up to clasp over their empty plates before closing their eyes.
Aemond sends you a look you can’t really decipher. You assume he wants you to partake in the prayer, so you lower your head and clasp your hands together as well.
Aemond pays tribute to all seven faces of the new God before thanking all residents for attending, voice calm and steady.
As the prayers end, everyone shifts their focus to the food. You feel unsure of what to try; everything looks so good.
Helaena makes the decision for you, grabbing your plate, loading it with bread and various spreads and toppings for you to try.
“You’ll love this”, she urges as she places the plate in front of you, lilac eyes eagerly awaiting your reaction.
She's right. Everything tastes divine and you eat until you feel like your stomach is about to burst.
Meanwhile, you try to engage in some small-talk with the people sitting closest to you around the massive table.
To your right sits Jayne, a woman you’d guess to be in her early fifties, with sun-kissed skin and kind, brown eyes. She tells you about her tasks at here, mainly growing herbs and flowers.
She shoots a quick glance at a dark-haired woman sitting by Aemond further down the table, explaining that she grows and tends to various plants which are grown at the request of the woman she’s observing; Alys.
After breakfast you offer to help collect and wash up the dishes, feeling a strong need to be useful as you see all residents retreat to their respective tasks for the day.
As you circle the outside table with an already overfilled tray in your hands, you spot a tall figure appear beside you.
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
You look to the side and see Aemond standing there. He's wearing a dress shirt and dark slacks today as well, though his hair is left untied, cascading down his shoulders and reflecting the light of the sun.
He offers you a timid smile as he asks, mimicking the way he used to look when he was younger. It's a stark contrast to how he appeared during breakfast; authoritative and intimidating.
You return his smile and nod. Perhaps a walk would do you good.
He instructs one of the residents to take over your work and they do so without protest. You send them an apologetic look and mumble a "thank you" as you follow Aemond, who’s already set sight on the small path leading away from the settlement and towards the compact trees of the surrounding forest.
The two of you walk in silence, basking in the lovely scenery surrounding you. The light green trees seem to shimmer in the sun, and as you make your way into the forest, you spot a small river; surface reflecting the lush greenery of the leaves.
“How is life in Oldtown? Has my uncle been giving you a hard time?”, Aemond asks, eye looking forward as he breaks the silence.
You swallow and mentally prepare yourself before answering, not wanting to let him in on how miserable you’ve been.
“Yeah it’s been interesting. A lot of new challenges but I’m hanging in there”, you answer, and despite your attempt at sounding casual, the sadness residing within you drips through and stains your voice.
Aemond abruptly halts and turns to you, eye boring into yours as he contemplatively licks his lips.
“There's no need for that here”, he states, voice suddenly sterner than before.
“What do you mean?”
Your cheeks grow hot and your palms feel clammy as you grow embarrassed over how easily he sees through your fake cheeriness.
“You don’t need to lie to me. It’s only us here, I won’t judge you”, he replies, maintaining the intense eye contact between the two of you.
It feels like a dam bursts within you; a force so strong you're helpless to it, and your sight turns blurry.
Any attempts you’ve made to appear strong have failed and all that is left is the truth; that you'r stuck in a permanent state of misery.
Broken.
You feel your throat close up and you desperately try to swallow before answering,
“I ha-, have been feeling a bit, ehm, lost”, you admit, and as you finally utter the words, admitting to yourself and confiding in him that you feel disoriented, tears spill out of the corners of your eyes.
You try to take deep breaths to soothe yourself and regain some control over your emotions, but it's too hard.
Why can’t you pull yourself together?
Aemond regards you for a moment, allowing you time to process the sudden crash of emotions overcoming you, before he places a hand on your upper arm, gently dragging his fingers over the fabric of your blouse.
“You’re allowed to feel lost”, he looks into your eyes and there is something there; a tenderness you haven’t seen since you were both much younger.
You can’t stop the tears from flowing anymore as you weakly nod at his words, the lump in your throat leaving you unable to properly answer him. His seeing eye is so gentle as it gazes into yours,
“Many of us here felt lost, hopeless even. But the community we’ve built allowed us to reconnect with our inner selves; helped us feel happier”
He moves the hand that had been on your arm to your face, experimentally stroking your cheek. You lean into his touch by reflex, relishing in the feeling of his warm hand on your wet cheek.
“You don’t have to pretend here, not with me”
As he speaks you move closer to him, pressing your body against his and wrapping your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly, just like you did so many times in your childhood.
He understands what you need and hugs you back, holding you against his chest, softly stroking your hair. And despite the agony in your chest and the lump in your throat, you feel okay; escaping into his warm embrace to momentarily forget all your sorrows.
You stay like that for a while, bodies interlocked with each other as Aemond lets you cry. He doesn't say anything, continuously stroking your hair. It feels emancipating; crying your heart out in the arms of your uncle.
As your tears dry, you gently push yourself away from Aemond’s embrace and run the back of your hand over your cheeks in an attempt to remove some of the wetness. Aemond’s eye still looks gentle as he regards you,
“I know that life's not always what you thought it’d be, and leaving home is scary. But you’re with family now. Me and Hel are so pleased that you’re here with us”
You smile at him, saying a quiet "thank you" as he motions for you to carry on with your walk.
You continue to talk and catch up on what’s been going on in your lives since you last met.
Aemond tells you about his research project; how he believes that modern capitalism renders people mere objects utilised for profit by companies, consequently leaving them lacking agency and without a belief in higher powers, generating a generation of depressed, lost souls.
You take in everything he says. He speaks with such confidence that you feel yourself agreeing instantaneously.
In truth, you also felt like an object at work; a machine there to execute tasks, without any possibility to change your condition.
You listen to him talk so intensively you don't even realise you’re back at the residence.
What sounds like a fight in hushed voices pulls you away from your conversation with Aemond as you look up to search for where the voices are coming from.
You see one of the residents you had breakfast with, Jayne, kneel down in front of Alys, grasping at her apron and pleading to her in a quiet, desperate voice,
“I didn't mean to, please believe me!”
Shocked, you look over at Aemond who suddenly looks stern, wrinkles forming between his eyebrows. His eye's set on the scene in front of you, yet he does not intervene.
As you open your mouth to ask him what's going on, he grabs your arm and promptly leads you into the Sept, closing the door behind you.
“Helaena will meet you here, she wanted to show you her insect farm. Do not leave until she collects you”, he commands, voice stoic but intimidating, leaving no room for argument.
Before you have a chance to reply he quickly opens the door, and leaves.
You spend the afternoon with Helaena, exploring her insect farm and listening to her tell you of all the benefits the farm provides.
Afterwards, you still feel the unease from earlier vibrate within you, causing you to feel restless. In an attempt to be useful, you offer to help some of the residents as they prepare the large outdoor dining space for supper.
You chat with one of the younger people there, a man who appears to be in his early 20’s called Jon.
He tells you about how he met Aemond. As part of his PhD programme, Aemond held some lectures for first-year students, and Jon had attended his class on international conflict and crisis.
They’d started talking outside of Aemond’s lectures and found that they had much in common, especially in regards to their view of the world, and what was wrong with it. Aemond had mentioned his wish to move out of the city with his sister, and Jon was intrigued in an instance.
You continue your conversation with Jon, finding him easy to chat with. He's surprisingly funny too, joking and making you laugh, easing your anxiety. Feeling yourself relax and grow more comfortable, you decide to pry a bit, confiding in Jon,
“I wasn’t brought up with the faith, so I have to ask. Why did you decide to build a large Sept in a small settlement like this?”, you ask as you help Jon place cutlery by the plates on the table.
His relaxed and cheerful demeanour stiffens at your question. His eyes leave the silverware on the table to meet yours,
“You don’t know?”
His face appears genuinely surprised, and his eyes are wide in question. Before you get a chance to answer, a raspy voice interrupts your conversation,
“Jon! How lovely of you to entertain our guest”
The woman who you’ve learned goes by Alys appears, emerald eyes locking with yours as you turn to meet her.
“I’m Alys, it is so nice to meet you”
She stretches out a hand and gives you a practised smile. Her features looks pleasant; far from how harsh they'd appeared when Jayne had been kneeling before her.
You try to smile back at her and tell her your name, though you suspect she already knows exactly who you are. You look over at Jon who appears nervous, hands fidgeting with a fork.
“I believe Aemond wants to see you, in his office”, Alys sight does not leave Jon, eyes boring into him, but you both know she is addressing you.
You can’t come up with anything to say or do; anxious to find out what it is that Aemond wants from you and desperate to get away from the intense, silent fight between Jon and Alys taking place before your eyes.
You shoot Jon a quick apologetic glance before moving toward the Sept, leaving him with Alys.
Aemonds office is located behind the large altar in the Sept. As you approach, you feel yourself grow tenser; stiffer.
You quickly try to run your sweaty palms over your skirt before raising one hand and softly tapping your knuckles against the heavy wood.
Aemond calls for you to come in and you enter, standing awkwardly by the door.
What does he want with you?
Had you overstepped when you spoke with Jon?
Or will he let you in on what had happened between Alys and Jayne when you came back from your walk?
Something about this place and Aemond makes you unexplainably uneasy, but you're unable to pin-point what it is that reduces you to a mess of nerves.
Your eyes keep flicking up at Aemond and down at the floor. You can't maintain eye contact with him, his stare too intense.
Fiery.
“I heard you offered to help Jon prepare supper?”, he inquires. His voice is completely devoid of any emotions, making your uneasiness grow.
He had an eerie calmness to him that did little to soothe you; rather, it made you grow even more restless.
“Y-, yes, well, I only helped him with bringing out plates and such”, you rushedly explain, words pouring out of your mouth, “I'm so sorry if I overstepped or made a mistake, that wasn’t my intention”
Aemond beckons you over, pushing his chair from where it’s placed by the desk, holding out his hand. You grab it without a second thought and he begins stroking his thumb over the back of your palm, looking up at you, a sliver of sympathy evident in his dark gaze,
“Why did you assist him?”, he asks softly and you answer that you just wanted to be helpful; that it feels strange seeing everyone else work hard and not contribute.
Aemond hums and leans back in his chair, hand still holding yours.
“You shouldn’t do other peoples chores for them. Everyone here has responsibilities that they should conduct in solitude”, he explains and you nod, though you can’t understand the harm in helping someone with a menial task like setting the table for supper.
“Don’t worry, no one is upset with you”, he adds to reassure you that you haven’t wronged anyone. You feel yourself relax somewhat, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.
Aemond looks you over and his gaze stops at your shoulders, noticing the strain there,
“You are still so tense”, he notes and you hum.
Stress, working at a desk for over 40 hours per week and lack of sleep had left your body in a constant, rigid state.
“Come here”, he commands and tugs at your arm unexpectedly, making you stumble forward. His other hand comes up to wrap around your waist, placing you on his thigh.
He looks into your eyes and the close proximity makes you slightly uncomfortable.
“You’ve always been so nervous; anxious since we were young”, he says as the hand that had been holding yours travels down to rest on your clothed thigh. The arm he has around you midriff tightens as if he’s expecting you to move away,
“Let me help you relax”, he offers, voice soft.
With gentle fingers, he slowly traces patterns on your leg. You do not know what he means by helping you, but you trust him.
He managed to makes you feel better before.
You stay put on his lap and he takes that as permission to continue, letting his hand travel down to where your skirt ends, fingers caressing your knee.
A breath gets caught in your throat as his hand moves upwards, slinking in under the fabric of your skirt; warm palm softly touching the smooth skin of your thigh. Aemond lets out a sigh at the contact and you suddenly feel uneasy, squirming in his grip.
“Aemond, what are you doing?”, you ask, voice slightly panicked.
His arm tightens around your waist as you try to move, hand continuing its path up your skirt.
“Didn’t it feel liberating to ease the pressure within when you cried in my arms earlier?”, he inquires and you look at him puzzled.
He still appears stoic but the pupil of his eye is blown wide; enveloping his iris.
“Let me take care of you. Just relax”, he commands as his hand reaches the apex of your thighs, index finger coming up to touch your bundle of nerves over your underwear experimentally.
You gasp and try to squirm out of his hold again, but he is much stronger; body rigid as he holds you.
He moves his head down to rest in the crock of your neck, shushing your protests. His fingers continue their slow massage over your underwear, and you feel yourself grow wetter from his attention.
Both your mind and your body have frozen.
Although you know it’s wrong, you let yourself lean into the pleasure Aemond is providing you, feeling yourself drift away; mind letting go of your senses as Aemond's touch consumes you.
When his fingers travel to the edge of your underwear, sliding inside, it’s like a bucket of cold water is poured over you.
You regain consciousness, bringing your hand up to try and push his away,
“Aemond we can’t do this, don’t-”, you plea, embarrassed by the fact that you can feel the evidential stickiness of your arousal between your legs.
Aemond tuts at you and pushes his fingers to make contact with the skin of your cunt, delighted at the wetness that greets him,
“You want this", he speaks quietly into your neck, "You need this. Be a good girl for me and let it happen”
You sit in his lap stiffly and as you're about to protest once more, his fingers circle your clit, causing a startled moan to slip out of your disobliging mouth.
Aemond chuckles against your skin and presses a light kiss to your neck,
“I knew you’d like it”
His words feel taunting, and your cheeks sear with shame.
The conflicting feelings storming inside you do little to hinder the arousal you're experiencing.
As his fingers travel down to your entrance, you again feel your common sense slip away and pleasure overtaking you.
He gathers some of the wetness from your entrance and brings it back up to your clit, making you sigh in involuntary pleasure again.
He positions his hand so that the heel of his palm is right by your bundle of nerves, leaving his fingers free to tease your entrance. He stays like that for a while, teasing you while pressing his palm against your clit.
The pleasure builds inside of you at a rapid pace.
He slowly sinks two fingers inside and you cannot contain the loud moan that escapes you, grabbing his arm with both hands. You grip him tightly, but cannot bring yourself to pry his hand away like you’d tried before, the pleasure too overpowering.
He sets a steady pace, palm pushing against your clit and fingers continuously finding that spot within you that causes your thighs to shake.
Your breath grows heavy, pleasure tightening inside you rapidly, and suddenly you don't want him to stop.
You hear Aemond’s breath growing laboured against your neck as well, giving it his all as he holds you in place and pleasures you.
You bite your lip to not let more moans slip out as pleasure begins to consume you.
Why did it feel so good?
Your walls began to contract against Aemond’s fingers as your peak approaches, and distantly, you hear him encourage you to let go.
As you do, you let out a pleasured cry, soaking his fingers. Your body stiffens while pleasure shoots through you; traveling from your lower stomach to your chest and down your limbs.
Your body slumps against Aemond, who moves his face out from the crook of your neck, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as he whispers,
“Good girl”
Assimilating
You can’t take in anything Helaena is saying.
You watch her lips move, try your hardest to take in her words, but nothing sticks. You hum and nod in reply, but haven’t got a clue to what you just agreed.
Should you tell her about what happened in Aemond’s office?
What if she tells him?
What if she tells mum?
Bile rises in the back of your throat at the thought.
What if your mum found out what her brother had done with her daughter?
What if she found out how good he’d made you feel?
That you liked it.
The only consolation to your misery is the fact that Aemond is sitting where he’d sat before, at the end of the long, beautifully decorated wooden table, looking out at everyone as if nothing was wrong. Like this was any other supper.
Maybe nothing was wrong?
Maybe you'd just imagined the entire thing?
Still, you can't bear to meet his gaze. You continue to channel all of your energy into the conversation you were having with Helaena. Or rather, that she was having with you.
“So when the queen bee dies, her workers will select a new queen from the larva and feed her this special thing called ‘royal jelly’ to make her fertile”, she cheerily says, smiling from ear to ear,
“Everyone here in our community gets to focus their attention on their chosen topic of interest, mine being insects and biology. I’ve learned so much, nature is truly fascinating”
Again, you notice how elated Helaena seems to be here. Her eyes shine as she continues to tell you about her life in the country, tending to insect farms.
It's hard to imagine that this is the same girl who’d been a shell of a person before.
As children, she had developed a tendency to pull away from others, choosing to fold into herself and push the world around her away.
Seeing her this animated and filled with life should make you happy for her.
But it feels off.
The following days go by quickly.
Sensing your need to feel useful, the members of Aemond's commune assign you daily tasks, like helping out with harvesting plants, preparing meals and cleaning up the Sept.
The building doesn’t seem to be used for ceremonies or communal prayer. Instead, the residents utilise it privately throughout the day; though you're not let in on their purpose.
Although not being too familiar with the Seven, you swear you could remember Aemond and Helaena attending services at the Sept when you were younger, not merely going there in solitude. Maybe they prayed together as well sometimes?
Another benefit of focusing on productivity was the distraction it gave you from thinking about what had occurred between you and your uncle three days prior.
Despite the initial disgust you'd felt, you had now decided that if you acted like it never happened, maybe it never did.
You’d sworn to never bring it up with Aemond, or ever tell anyone else for that matter.
He was still the Aemond you’d grown up with; the sensitive boy with a strong will, always on a mission to prove himself.
He’d always been a bit too ‘by the book’. Maybe he sincerely thought that you would enjoy it?
He might've read something about Freud’s theory on female hysteria and the power of orgasmic release, seeing the act as more of a medical procedure than a sexual encounter?
A weak theory, but still.
---
Despite helping out at every corner of the residence, you hadn’t seen Alys since leaving her with Jon.
But this morning, after Aemond had asked you to help the residents clean up the leftovers from breakfast, you spot her standing next to your uncle, talking about something in hushed voices while watching the residents tidy up.
Although you'd only spent a few days here, Aemond and Alys' position at the top of the hierarchy of the small community was evident.
They both had an air of authority about them that was hard to overlook, making the pair appear intimidating in a way that only a strict superior could.
Yet, they both choose to be soft spoken whenever they address the residents, often complimenting them on their diligent work.
Observing the duo, you notice Aemond nod towards you, which prompts Alys to approach, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder,
“I’d like for you to help me today”, she states, and although her voice is soft, as if asking a question, there seems to be no room for disagreement.
She ushers you to follow her as she makes way towards one of the almost overflowing flower beds; copious plants fighting for space.
Like every day since your arrival, the weather is practically perfect; sunny but with a comforting breeze passing through the fields. Alys reaches for two weaved baskets resting against the small cottage wall close by and hands you one before kneeling down by the flower bed. You follow her, admiring the abundance of herbs in front of you.
You’d never witnessed such a variety of plants grow so vigorously together. You’d hardly thought it to be possible. Maybe the weather and temperature conditions here were optimal? Or maybe they’d genetically modified the crops?
Alys' gentle, low voice breaks the silence,
“How has the stay here been for you so far?”
Even though you’d told yourself; decided that you’d never think about what had happened between you and Aemond in his office again, her questions forces your mind back there.
Sitting on his lap. His fingers inside you; stretching you out.
You shake your head slightly in an attempt to erase the thought.
You’re never going to think about that again.
You can’t.
“It’s been great. Everyone’s so welcoming and I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with Helaena”, you reply, focusing on the positive aspects of your visit.
It was all true; during your time here you’d felt welcomed and comforted. Cared for, even.
“That’s lovely”, Alys replies with a smile as she begins to pick basil leaves off the thin stem of the plant. “We’ve worked hard to create an environment where our residents can thrive, just like you seem to be doing”, she explains and your forehead wrinkles in contemplative confusion.
Are you thriving here?
You certainly look a lot better.
Your skin has almost started to glow. You wake up in the mornings feeling refreshed and rested.
But that could just be down to the fact that you’d found uninterrupted sleep. Plus, the appetising food served here seems healthy, consisting of ingredients the residents grew and prepared themselves.
“Well, the fresh air and delicious meals certainly help one thrive”, you reply with an unconvinced chuckle.
Alys’ eyes light up as they sweep over your face,
“You enjoy the food? I’m happy to hear that. I’ve put all of the past year's energy into curating the plants, grains and menu here”, she tells you, pride causing her to straighten up, sitting a bit taller.
“You truly have a gift, Alys. Any tips for an amateur like me?”, you inquire, relaxing a bit now that the conversation has taken a lighter turn.
She smiles at you and pulls out a small, green tin from the large pocket in the middle of the apron she’s wearing. She opens the lid and pulls out brass spoon. It’s filled with what looks like dirt, or clay, and smells similar to a compost.
Your nose wrinkles as she scoops some of the brown mush inside the tin onto her spoon, placing it by the plant's roots before firmly patting it down with the back of the utensil.
“I was doing my PhD at King’s Landing University before moving here. I was researching phytotherapy”, she explains as she scoops out another spoonful of brown mush from the tin and moves to add it to the next plant's roots.
“I was in my final year, fully consumed by my dissertation. Despite loving the topic, I was so stressed by my academic career that I seriously considered dropping everything and moving back to Harrentown. Then, I heard my professor tell me about this brilliant young man in the Political Science department”
Speaking about Aemond, her eyes almost look dreamy,
“His ideas were so radical, yet so natural, you know? He wanted to create a community where people were allowed to pursue their passions without the stressors of modern society. Where the Seven provide enough guidance”
You feel uneasiness creep up your spine. Her facial expression is almost trance-like as she talks about Aemond; as if he's a deity, ready to be worshipped.
“Well, modern society provides us with plenty of comforts as well, don’t you think?”, you counter with a strained laugh, trying to ease the mood a bit,
“What would you do if, like, one of the members got sick?”
Alys huffs a laugh as well and smiles to herself as she eyes the tin in her hand,
“We always get by”
After a quick lunch break, you continue to help Alys with various tasks around the residence; picking flowers, vegetables and herbs for her, plucking out weeds and organising seeds for future harvests.
You’d never seen seeds like the ones she showed you before; pitch-black in colour and almost supernaturally round.
When she saw your expression, she snorted a laugh and explained that they were from Yi Ti, used by herbalists for centuries.
She did not, however, answer you when you asked what they were going to be used for.
Although her presence had felt intimidating at first, you'd now grown calm around Alys. Something about her was almost bewitching.
Like the way her emerald eyes would lock with yours whenever you spoke, or how graciously she moved about the commune, greeting each resident in a gentle voice.
You also noticed that they never met her gaze, eyes cast down as she approached, only uttering a few polite phrases before rushing away.
Feeling more at ease spurred your confidence, and so you ask her what you’ve been aching to know for the past days,
“The other day…-", you begin with a wavering voice,
"-What happened between you and Jayne?”
You try to sound as casual as possible, but it only makes you sound strange.
Alys, who’s been picking some wildflowers from one of the fields close to the residence, doesn’t slow her pace for even the briefest of moments as she answers you, eyes still on the stem of the flower in front of her,
“Nothing for you to worry about”
She plucks the flower and gently places it in her weaved basket before moving to the next one.
“Okay”, you reply with uncertainty, “She seemed very upset though”
Alys finally looks up from the flowers she’s plucking and meets your gaze,
“Actions have consequences. I’m sure you know that. But with the justice of the father and the grace of the mother, mistakes can be forgiven”
Her face is much sterner than before. The comfort of familiarity that had blossomed between the two of you disappears in an instance, and you feel uneasy as her eyes narrow.
“Jayne has been forgiven and we will move forward. Just like how Aemond forgave you”
Alys turns around and quickly makes way towards the Sept, disappearing inside and closing the door behind her.
Forgave you for what?
For what happened in Aemond's office?
Did she know about that?
As the members of the commune prepare for supper, you go back to your room to have some time to yourself, mindlessly scrolling your phone while lying in bed.
The reception out here's not great, and now that you think about it, you hadn't seen any mobile phones during your stay, only a land-line hanging on the wall in Aemond's office.
After what happened with him, your mind had been too preoccupied to put any focus on replying to messages. You see a few from your mum and send her a quick reply to let her know that you’re doing well.
Seeing her name appear, you feel uneasy; like she knows of the secret you harbour. You feel guilty. And disgusted.
A sudden commotion outside throws you back into reality; back into the commune.
You hear raised voices, some sounding familiar, and you swiftly place your phone in your pocket before heading out.
You see Jon, eyes wide and face pale, on his knees in front of Aemond, mimicking how Jayne and Alys had looked a few days ago.
Aemond’s face is hard to read.
He looks stoic, yet his eye is furious; dark gaze glaring down at Jon.
Unlike Jayne, Jon doesn’t say anything. He raises his hands in surrender and locks eyes with Aemond; wordlessly pleading.
But for what?
By now, many of the residents have gathered around the two young men. Some look scared, others intrigued.
“Do you believe the Father to be just?”, Aemond’s soft voice asks, contrasting his utterly frightening appearance. Jon nods eagerly, eyes wide in panic.
“Then you’ll accept a punishment befitting the sin you’ve committed?”
Jon stiffens slightly, but eventually lowers his head in a slow nod. His eyes cast down to the ground; head hanging in surrender.
Aemond hums and pulls out a knife from the inside of the jacket he’s wearing over his usual white shirt and dark slacks.
It’s one you recognise. It had been gifted to Aemond on his 12th birthday by your grandfather, who’d declared that he was now a young man; a young Targaryen man, and therefore needed his own reminder of his Valyrian heritage.
Aemond flips the dagger in his hand as he regards the man before him, holding his hand out in an invitation to Jon. He wordlessly places his hand in Aemond’s, and you can now clearly see that he is shaking.
Aemond turns his hand so that he’s holding the back of it, Jon’s palm turned upwards,
“Mistakes can be forgiven, but justice must prevail”, Aemond speaks. His voice is louder than before to address the crowd gathering around him and Jon. It reminds you of a lecture.
Perhaps this is how he'd conduct classes at university?
The residents around you murmur in agreement. Aemond raises the dagger in his hand, eye cast down to make contact with Jon’s. He’s trembling out of fright and Aemond almost looks pleased at the display in front of him,
“We all need reminders of our wrongdoings, to prevent us from repeating them. Whenever you lose sight of the light, Jon, this will remind you to seek out the guidance of the Seven”, Aemond’s calm voice rings out as he suddenly presses the dagger into Jon’s palm.
He grunts in pain as the blade breaks his skin and blood flows freely from his hand. Aemond’s knuckles are white from the force in which he’s holding onto Jon’s hand, refusing to let the younger man go, staring into his eyes with a look so intimidating it demands submission.
You can’t take in the scene in front of you; can’t comprehend what’s happening.
As reality slowly comes back to you, you try to speak up, try to tell Aemond to stop, but your body doesn’t obey you; frozen in shock.
The other residents watch quietly, not making a sound as Aemond and Jon stay still, blade still penetrating Jon’s palm as his mouth winces in pain.
Your uncle finally pulls away from Jon, gesturing for Alys to move forward. She quickly pulls out some gauze from one of the pockets of her apron and kneels down next to Jon, gently wrapping it around his palm; blood pulsing out furiously.
Aemond’s stoic facade seems to falter slightly as his breathing turn laboured; jaw shut tight. He appears agitated, giving Jon and Alys one final look before stalking away towards the nearby path leading to the forest where he’d taken you for a walk a few days prior.
Your body finally obeys you as you call out his name in an urgent voice,
"Aemond!"
What the fuck had you just witness?
Aemond doesn’t turn around. He walk away in quick, angry steps, silhouette growing smaller and smaller. You throw a quick glance at Jon, whose face is even whiter than before, gauze around his palm already dark red with blood seeping through it.
You cannot bear to take in the gory sight, a thousand questions going through your head. You need answers, so you make your way towards where Aemond had disappeared.
The path into the forest grows blurrier as a thick fog settles over the commune. Still, you make your way towards where Aemond had disappeared, determined to confront him about what you’d just witnessed.
You spot a form in the white mist, sitting on a stump with his head in his hands. You approach quickly, thoughts still spinning in your head.
What was that all about?
Why did you cut Jon?
Why did he agree?
If he did agree, that is.
The fear that was etched on Jon’s face as he knelt before Aemond made you shiver. He’d seemed so scared of him; scared of what he might do to him.
Still, no one had interfered as your uncle cut the hand of one of the members of their community.
Is this the norm?
Aemond looks up as he hears your footsteps approach, face as unreadable as always.
“What the fuck was that, Aemond?!”
Your voice is shrill and accusing. Your eyes seek out his as you stop before him; expression furious and chest heaving.
“You need to call a medic or something, Jon’s bleeding heavily!”
Your cheeks feel hot as fury rolls through your body, setting it alight.
It’s amplified by the seemingly unrepentant state of the man before you.
“Don’t question how we do things here”, he warns, eye just as furious as it had been before,
“Jon knew the consequences of stepping out of line. We all do”.
“What could he have done to make you mutilate his hand?!”, you counter. You still can’t fully comprehend what had happened mere moments ago.
Had you just witnessed bodily mutilation in the name of religion?
Aemond clicks his tongue, displeased with your accusations. He tries to school his face into a calmer demeanour as he looks you over,
“Sit down and I’ll explain”, he offers, gesturing for you to take a seat on the damp grass in front of him.
Despite your initial desire to defy him, purely out of spite, your curiosity wins as you take a seat in front of the stump where he sits.
“Everyone living here has consented to our communal agreement”, he begins. You can’t help the scoff that slips out. He continues,
“One of the reasons why people feel so depressed and out of place is due to the secularisation of the modern world. They’ve lost their connection to the Seven; lost sight of the light. A belief in the divine brings us closer together. Closer to the seven faces of the God”
“You all need help if you believe that physical violence will bring you closer to the gods”
It's hard to hide the disgust in your voice. Aemond’s jaw shuts tightly and the calmness on his face looks forced,
“Help me then”, he bites back, irritation penetrating his serene facade. “Pray with me”.
He grabs both your hands suddenly and traps them in his, lowering his head as he recites a prayer you haven’t heard before.
You try to pull your hands away but his grip is iron-like as he continues to mumble the prayer under his breath.
After a while, he grows quiet, yet keeps the grip around your hands. You look up at him. He's already awaiting your gaze.
Aemond looks like he’s contemplating something; different from his usual, determined state.
“Maybe you should help me like I help you; easing the pressure from within”
His hands pull yours towards the zipper of his slacks. Your body freezes in shock for a brief moment, then quickly pull away from him in reflex.
His grip on your hands is tight. He'd anticipated you'd fight back.
He brings your hands towards his crotch, now in such a tight grasp that your fingers ache. There's a hardness there, and your mouth goes dry, a rush of anxiety go through your body,
"Aemond, no, not aga-", you begin but he cuts you off.
“Would you prefer it if I told Helaena what you let me do to you in my office?"
His voice is foreign; cold and uncaring.
This is not the Aemond you know. The one who let you cry out in his embrace.
This is the Aemond they know.
"Or should I tell my other sister?”
You feel cold all over, shivering at his words.
A threat.
He lets one of his hands leave yours and undoes his zipper. He pulls out his length; already hard and furiously red.
You’re once again consumed by feelings of unreality.
This can’t actually be happening, right?
Aemond grips one of your hands, grasping it painfully hard as he pulls it towards his cock.
He presses into the sides and bends your fingers so they circle around him; much larger hand enveloping yours as he forces you to cool his desire.
He sets a fast pace; letting you know exactly how he likes it. His other hand moves towards your mouth, stunning you yet again as he pushes two fingers into your mouth.
Before you have a chance to pull your head away, he brings his spit-covered fingers down to your hand - the one he's using to pleasure himself with - and smears your saliva over the palm before guiding it back to his length again.
As your slick hand makes contact with his burning flesh once more, he grunts and closes his eyes; brows knit together in bliss. He lets you continue the motion by yourself, hands falling to the sides of his lap.
In the middle of this surreal experience, you can’t help but look up at him, admiring his beauty.
Such an intimidating man, instilling fear in so many around him, currently at your mercy.
You almost feel a headrush at the thought; having Aemond in the palm of your hand. Literally.
The continuous friction of your hand against his flesh removes some of the stickiness, and you hear him let out something similar to a whine as your hand grows drier.
His previously intimidating features suddenly look pleading as he gazes down at you, asking you to just comply.
Just give him this.
Without much thought of the consequences, instead of licking your palm, you move your head toward his length, darting your tongue out and licking a stripe over his tip. He lets out a surprise moan, and the unexpected feeling of pride rushing through your body makes your stomach turn.
You are not enjoying this!
Still, the praise travels down and settles in your core, causing a dull throb to pound between your thighs.
Then why does it feel so good to be praised by him?
You continue to pleasure him with your hand, though Aemond’s eye has traveled down to observe your mouth. His gaze occasionally flickers down to your clothed chest, peeking at the sliver of cleavage visible from above. One of his hands grasp your chin,
“Do that again”, he commands, and the disgust you'd felt towards yourself swirls in your belly again.
You shake your head, “No”
He lets out a grunt, hand still on your jaw as he slowly and firmly brings your head closer to his manhood.
Like before, you try to push away from him, to gain some sense of control, but he is far stronger than you,
“You do as I say”, he counters, and in one swift motion, he pulls your head towards his cock with such force that you nearly knock your forehead against his stomach.
As you part your lips to protest, he pushes himself inside of your hot, wet mouth, sighing in relief.
You feel panic come over you as you try to pull away, but he quickly places both hands on your head; keeping you in place.
“Breath through your nose. Be the good girl I know you are”
He grunts and begins to buck into your mouth.
You place your hands on his thighs in another feeble attempt at escaping his assault on your mouth, but to no avail. He drags your face over his length, palms moving to grab each side of your head as his movements grow quicker. You gag slightly.
“You feel so fucking good”, he breaths out, voice drunk on lust,
“You look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth, you know that?”
It feels like he's mocking you. It sounds like he adores you.
His thumb gently brushes away some of the strands that has fallen over your face.
The want in between your legs throb. The disgust in your stomach rumbles. You know that his words of praise shouldn’t make your underwear sticky.
But they do.
Your eyes water as he continues to fuck your mouth, not giving you any rest. You try to whine against him to make him stop; to at least let you come up for air, but he takes your sounds as moans and groans, moving in your mouth faster and harsher.
Finally sensing your need for a break, he manoeuvres your head off of his cock. You pant heavily as you gulp for air; lungs hurting from the sudden, sharp inhale.
A string of saliva connects your lips to his length, and his eye seems to be even more lust-filled as he moves his hand to caress your flushed cheek.
Even in this selfish, pleasure-driven madness, he regard you with fondness.
“Aemond, please, we can’t do this”, you plea.
His gaze flickers from your spit-soaked, swollen lips to your cleavage, and then back.
He doesn’t grant you a reply as he stands up abruptly, taking advantage of your startled state and shoves his length back into your mouth.
Your hands instinctively come up to his legs to have something to hold onto as he fucks your face with even more vigour than before, swearing under his breath.
You feel disgusted at the vicious arousal pooling in your stomach, seeping out of your core.
How could something so degrading feel so sensual?
How could you feel aroused by your uncle using you like this?
Aemond moves his hands to the back of your head, pushing you so that your nose makes contact with the hairs at the bottom of his stomach. He pushes his hips against you harshly and lets out a prolonged grunt.
You gag and stifle a cough, feeling his hot liquid fill your throat, then your mouth.
He slowly pulls away, hands still gripping your head as his eyes return to their wholly intimidating appearance,
“Swallow”, he demands, placing a large palm over your mouth, blocking your nose as well.
You know that you have no choice but to oblige him and force the sticky, salty fluid down your throat with a wince.
Aemond gives your kneeling form one last once-over before letting out a hum, swiftly putting his cock back into his trousers.
Without another word, he leaves, and you're left on your knees by the stump, fog now so thick that you can hardly see the path leading back to the residence.
You wipe away the spit trailing from the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand before standing on shaky legs.
Could you pretend like this never happen either?
As if in a trance, you make your way back to the commune; head filled with thoughts, yet too exhausted to comprehend anything.
You move to the basin placed in the corner of your room, reaching for your toothbrush without looking up at your reflection in the mirror.
You brush your teeth three times, reapplying tooth paste as the lather in your mouth disappears.
You want to get the taste of him out of your mouth.
It doesn’t go away.
Realising that you’ve been carrying your phone in your pocket this whole time, you tap the screen. A few new message from your mother and brother.
You hadn't even noticed.
Without checking, you turn your phone off, tossing it in your bag as you make your way to the bed.
You feel exhausted. Disgusted. Aroused.
This can’t be real.
Forgiving
The sheets of the bed are soft against your skin.
The rays of the morning sun shine through your window, and in the glow of the day’s early hours, you feel rested; comforted by the cosiness of your bed.
As you turn to the side, snuggling into the duvet, you wonder why this comforting place ever caused you to feel unease.
And then you're reminded of last night.
The memory makes a shiver go down your spine and your body trembles; trying to shake the chill away. Still, the feeling crawling under your skin doesn’t quite disappear.
Usually, you wouldn’t be able to sleep in the anxious state you’d been in last night.
Yet, for some reason, as soon as your head touched the cool pillow, you’d fallen into uninterrupted slumber.
Though your mind was spinning from all the conflicting thoughts you were having, your body was surprisingly relaxed; well-rested and freed from tension.
You’re hungry too, you notice. The rumble in your stomach vibrates, prompted by the clatter of the residents preparing for breakfast outside.
Without much thought, you get up, get ready and head outside. The warm rays of the sun greet you and you have to squint in order to see who’s already seated at the long table.
To your surprise, you’re met by the same scene as the last couple of days.
Aemond is standing by the edge of the wooden table, speaking with Alys. Jon is carrying bread in a large basket, carefully placing a few buns in each empty bowl placed on the table. Helaena is fussing over the wildflowers adorning the table, laughing as Jayne tells her something you can’t make out.
The scenery is still perfect, despite what had occurred the day before between Aemond and Jon.
Between Aemond and you.
You walk towards the table and take your usual spot next to Helaena, offering her a strained smile as she greets you. You’d thought keeping up appearance would prove to be a true challenge, but right now you feel oddly at peace; calm even. And hungry.
As soon as Aemond finishes thanking the Seven in his morning prayer, you begin to pile food on your plate.
Everything looks mouthwatering, the freshly baked bread still warm in your hand as you tear it apart and smother it in butter. You usually weren’t the type to have an appetite when you feel anxious or stressed, but today your uneasy state only works to amplify your hunger.
As you eat, the stress that had been causing nervous waves to ebb through your body stills, and you feel more at ease. Your mind is calmer, less crowded with thoughts.
Numb.
As you finish your meal, you look up from your plate to watch the scenery surrounding you, appreciating the lush greenery of the commune that had been lost on you before.
The rays of the sun shine through the gaps between the leaves of the bright green beech trees encircling you, casting a gorgeous glow over the residence.
Gods, it's beautiful here.
You look over at Helaena, whose hair seems to shimmer in the sun. Her smile only highlights her beauty; lilac eyes kind with a glint of something playful.
“Do you want to help me with my insect farm today? I’m going to go check on the crickets now after breakfast”, she asks, tone as pleasant and upbeat as it always is here.
“Sure”, you reply, standing up to follow her.
She walks behind one of the small cottages, and an array of insect farms come into view.
They resemble little houses made of wood, and even standing a good few metres away, you can see insects crawling all over the wood.
Helaena moves between them swiftly, peeking inside to see how her favourite creatures are faring. You’d never understand her obsession with such creepy beings, but watching her now, you feel warmth in your chest. She looks so happy; so at peace.
This really is the perfect place for her.
She beckons you over to one of the miniature houses and you approach her wearily, unable to hide the aversion you felt for the bugs.
Helaena giggles as she sits down on the ground to gain better access to the farm, nodding her head in a silent instruction for you to do the same. You join her, though you sit down slightly behind where she is, hoping she can provide you some distance from the insects littering each piece of wood of the farm.
“Are you sure you have to leave by the end of the week? I’d love for you to stay here longer”, she sighs, eyes fixed on the insects in front of her. She’s brought a small pouch with her which she opens, fingers digging inside for some seeds to feed her six-legged friends.
“I have to get back to work”, you answer, already dreading the inevitable.
The constant stress, the sleepless nights, Gwayne's endless nagging.
Would you be able to sleep as well as you did out here back home?
Would sleep feel as serene?
Despite all the uneasy situations you’d found yourself in, an unfamiliar sense of calm settles on your chest, pushing down your anxiety.
Maybe things would be easier if you stayed out here? Just for a while longer?
You're pulled out of your thoughts as Helaena speaks up again, eyes still on the farm, hand now buried deep within its walls, placing seeds inside for the insects to fight over.
“I think you’d be better off here. I saw you in a dream, you know. You were smiling, wearing a beautiful crown of flowers, holding hands with Aemond”
You feel yourself stiffen.
“He told me you’d come when he invited me to live with him here”, she continues, eyes finally straying away from the crickets; meeting yours.
You want to tell her about what happened, but the words seem stuck in your throat.
Would she believe you?
Would she be disgusted with you?
“Hel, I-”, you begin, choking as tears well up in your eyes. You try to clear your throat so that the lump of sadness suffocating you goes away,
“I-, I don’t think Aemond likes me”, is all you are able to get out as unexpected tears spill out from the corners of your eyes.
You wish you could tell her more, but your body doesn’t obey you; mind feeling foggy and throat closing up.
You can't sort your thoughts, or feelings, out.
“Oh, don’t cry, love”, she says as she wipes away a fat tear sliding down your cheek,
“There's no reason to feel bad. Aemond likes you. He would never do anything to harm you. He cares for you so much”
Though her voice sounds genuine, her gaze seems to drift away as she talks about her brother.
“He’s cared for you ever since we were small, you know. Do you remember that summer when we were all together on Driftmark? Before Aemond lost his eye?”
You swallow thickly at the memory.
“You remember when you two asked me to wed you out on the beach because you wanted to stay together forever?”, she asks, voice gentle and a knowing smile playing on her lips.
The memory causes you to spill more tears. Everything was so much easier back then.
“Don’t you miss how close you two used to be?”, she asks, compassionate and caring.
Yes, you do.
“Yeah”, you let out, voice thick from sadness. “But everything changed after Aemond lost his eye. He-, he didn’t want to spend time with me anymore”
You sound so small; your own words make you feel like a child again, abandoned by your best friend.
“Well, we’re here now, together. So that we can all reconnect. We’ve missed you”
Helaena moves closer to you, throwing her arms around you and hugs you tightly.
You slump against her, burying your face in the crook of her neck. Despite all the weird interactions with Aemond during your visit, Helaena had been a constant; brightening your days and making you feel seen.
She was always so happy to see you.
She was always so genuine.
You pull away once your sobbing ceases, giving Helaena one last squeeze before mumbling a quiet “thank you”.
She smiles, wipes her thumbs over your wet cheeks and locks eyes with you,
“You’ll feel better once you’ve settled in properly”, she says with a smile.
You don’t really understand what she means but nod anyway.
Agreeing feels good.
Agreeing feels comforting.
As you make your way back to your cottage, you spot Jon by one of the flower beds, watering the abundant plants fighting for space in their wooden confinement.
He doesn’t look much different from a few days ago, but when he spots you approaching, his slouching shoulders go rigid.
“Hi”, you say, trying to keep your voice light as you draw near him.
“Hey”, he replies, smiling in a way that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
Your eyes instantly move to inspect his hand.
The gauze has been changed recently, clinically white and neatly wrapped around his palm,
“How’s your hand?”, you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.
“Fine”, is all he replies as he walks towards the next flower bed, away from you.
He tilts the watering can, letting the water rains down on the flourishing plants.
“What Aemond did to you-, I-, it’s completely unacceptable”, you say as you trail after him,
“You could press charges you know”
Not that you actually think Jon would, for some unexplainable reason he had seemingly agreed to getting his hand slashed. But you wanted him to understand that this kind of behaviour was inexcusable, even if he'd consented.
Jon’s eyes darken as he turns his head from watching the droplets fall on the flowers to observe you.
“Aemond knows what’s best. No point in me going against him”, he says in resignation, eyes shifting again, looking out at the endless fields surrounding the commune.
“Aemond acted like a fucking psycho yesterday, you don’t have to excuse his behaviour”, you try to assure Jon, shifting your body to move a little closer to where he’s standing.
His eyes go wide in panic, quickly looking around to make sure no one is nearby.
“Do not say things like that”, he warns, voice barely above a whisper.
“Aemond and Alys hear everything. They have eyes and ears everywhere, especially Alys. She sees much and more”
His eyes have grown impossibly large, resembling those of an animal pestered by a predator,
“They say the Father is all-seeing; knowledgeable on all topics. Almighty. There are people here who-”, he pauses as his eyes again dart around in a stressed frenzy, making sure no one is listening in on your conversation,
“- who believe Aemond is the human embodiment of the Father”
Jon’s confession catches you off guard and you let out a snort at his utterance. His panicked eyes narrow in anger at you.
“You haven’t been here long enough to have seen what I have”, he tells you with a sneer,
“You do not understand the power that he holds”.
Though you'd initially thought Jon was someone you could become friendly with, you now find yourself backing away from him and his evident madness.
Aemond might be smart, but he is no deity.
You’re slouching in the rocking chair in the corner of your room, trying to read the book Helaena had lent you.
This is the third time you feel like giving up; mind too fuzzy to fully take in anything you're reading.
Why is it so hard to concentrate?
To distract yourself?
You’d planned on giving your mum a call when you retreated to your cottage, but couldn’t even bear to pick up your phone.
She had a way of knowing what you were thinking, without you even telling her. She knows you so well.
Too well.
She would sense that something's off.
That there's something you're not telling her.
What if she figures out what you and Aemond had done?
You’re startled by a sudden knock on your door.
Quickly standing, you rush to the door, nerves on high alert.
Aemond’s ducks his tall frame as you pull the door open, face level with yours. You feel that familiar shiver run down your spine, making your body shudder slightly.
He looks as impeccable as always; hair half up so that the silver strands stay out of his face, button-down shirt and slacks perfectly form-fitted and ironed to eliminate any trace of a wrinkle; any indication of a flaw. His eyepatch is securely placed over his damaged eye, long scar poking through the sides.
“Can we talk?”, he asks, voice low and gentle.
You’re not sure what to say, and move to the side to allow him inside. For some reason denying him feels out of the question.
You go back to the wooden rocking chair, sitting down and pulling one leg up to wrap your arms around yourself, a meek attempt at shield yourself from whatever Aemond has in mind.
He sits down on the bed, back stiff and gaze darting around the room before settling on you.
“I wanted to thank you for yesterday”, he starts, face stoic.
“Thank me?”, you reply by reflex, not entirely sure of what he’s referring to.
He can’t be referring to what happened in the forest?
“Yes. I really appreciate you helping me out”, he continues matter-of-factly. You’re stunned, mouth half-open in disbelief.
“And I wanted to apologise for leaving you after. That won’t happen again”
His eye never leave yours. He sounds so sincere it is hard not to take his gratitude and apology to heart.
Still, the memory of what you’d done causes bile to rise in the back of your throat.
Forgiving him and moving on would be so simple.
“It’s okay, Aemond, we don’t have to talk about it anymore”, you mumble, eyes looking down to pick at the sleeve of the linen blouse you’re wearing.
You’d rather just forget.
Move on.
Never speak or think about it again.
It never happened.
“Alright”
He’s silent for a moment before he speaks up again,
“I also wanted to thank you for coming out here to visit us. It’s been so nice to reconnect over these past few days”
There he is again.
The boy who’d been your best friend all those years ago.
Fierce and attentive at once; contradicting in every way. His timid smile is still the same, just as inviting to mischief as it had been when you were little.
You still can’t quite find the words to engage in conversation with him. Half of you wants to run away from his unpredictability, yet the other half wants to stay and bask in it.
“I’ve missed you”, he continues. You know he is genuine when you look up to meet his gaze.
You’ve missed him too.
“I’ve missed you too”, you confess quietly. You can’t seem to look away from his eye. It's almost hypnotising.
“Wouldn’t you like to stay here for a while longer? I can talk to Gwayne”, he offers.
“Oh that’s not necessary, I have to go back. I already know I have a full mailbox waiting for me”, you quip, trying to sound witty. Aemond’s face remains impassive.
“I always wondered why you decided to work with my uncle. Such a waste of potential”, he muses as he regards you,
“I think you could achieve much more if you chose another path in life”
His expression is serious, still his voice is gentle.
Like he’s telling you, not advising you.
Before you have a chance to reply he speaks up again,
“I’d like you to join a sermon we’re having tonight. You could benefit from some guidance”
You can’t come up with a reason to decline his invitation fast enough, and Aemond lets out a pleased hum at your silence.
“Six o’clock in the Sept”
He stands and reaches his hand towards you, squeezing it in goodbye.
He leaves your cottage and you watch him retreat to the Sept through your window.
The tall building truly holds an imposing aura; the seven pointed star sinister in its daunting simplicity.
Unsettling.
You enter the Sept right before six.
To your surprise, all residents of the commune are already seated, sitting in rows leading up to the unadorned wooden altar; carvings of the Seven decorating all sides of it.
The only one standing is Aemond, right next to the altar.
Next to him is a chair, and as you walk towards where the residents are seated, Aemond clears his throat and gestures for you to take a seat on the chair next to him, facing everyone.
“Please, join me”, he says and beckons you over.
Everyone present is watching you expectantly, leaving you no choice but to join Aemond and take a seat next to where he’s standing.
“Our guest of honour, everyone”
His voice is soft, yet you notice a hint of amusement hiding behind his stoic façade.
He says a short prayer, welcoming everyone to the sermon and expressing gratitude to all faces of the Seven.
“Today, I’d like to talk about forgiveness”, Aemond explains, and you watch as all residents observe him diligently, eyes rarely blinking.
He seems to hold such power within these seven walls.
Such authority.
“Granting someone forgiveness takes strength, given to us by the Warrior”
The residents are silent, but you see a few of them nodding along to Aemond’s words.
Helaena and Alys sit closest to where you and Aemond are, watching you attentively.
“All actions have consequences, and we must be reminded of this to prevent us from repeatedly committing wrongdoings. When I was 10, I was taught the consequences of my actions as my nephew brought a knife to my face, taking my eye”
His tone grows colder as he speaks, and you feel that all too familiar shiver run down your spine.
Only this time, you cannot shudder to make it go away. It stays at the base of your back; taking hold of you and keeping you in a state of acute uneasiness.
“Though I was consumed by hatred after being robbed of my sight, the Seven provided me with guidance, showing me the light in the darkest of times”
Aemond moves to stand in front of you, one hand coming up to pull the eyepatch that seemed to be a permanent feature on his face away.
You hadn’t seen him without it since the accident, and you have to stifle a gasp as you take in the entirety of his face.
The scar that your brother had branded him with is still red, still angry as you follow it with your eyes; starting at his forehead and ending on his cheek.
The socket where his eye had previously been is surrounded by scarred tissue; healed but still furious.
In the empty socket lays a sparkling sapphire, almost appearing alive as the light from the candles in the Sept reflects upon its surface.
The contrast of the beautiful gem nuzzled in the red, vexed scar reminds you of Aemond himself; full of rage and beauty.
“I’ll tell you the story behind this scar”
He moves to stand behind you as his hands rest on the backrest of the wooden chair,
“I was enjoying a day at the beach with my dearest childhood companion-”
His voice is borderline mocking. In your peripheral vision you see his knuckles go white from to the tight grip he has on the backrest of your chair,
“- though she adored me as well, she never defended me against the nasty remarks her brothers would throw my way”
His icy voice heats with anger,
“Having had enough of their torment, I defended myself, much like the Warrior would have. Like the Father, I demanded justice for their unbecoming behaviour. Yet, when I gained the strength to defend myself against my tormentors, the one who was supposed to be by my side abandoned me”
Although you can’t see him standing behind you, you can feel the infuriated energy radiating from his body. You desperately seek the resident's eyes for some sympathy, yet find none.
“That-, That’s not what happened Aemond”, you try to protest, but your voice comes out too weak to truly make an impact.
“Is it not? Then enlighten me. Did you not leave me to defend myself?”
One of the hands he has placed on the back of the chair moves to rest on your shoulder, squeezing it harshly.
“I didn’t-, you were fighting and I didn’t-, I was going to get an adult!”
You sound as desperate as you feel. The gazes of the residents feels burning as they regard you with disapproval.
You still remember how an innocent fight between children had escalated as soon as Aemond picked up a rock, refusing to take in your pleas to just let it go. Not knowing what to do, you’d sprinted towards the family’s summer house to get your mum or Alicent; anyone who could help you de-escalate the madness on the beach.
When you came back, Aemond was on the ground, screaming as he clutched his blood-covered face.
The memory makes you grow cold all over. That had been the worst day of your childhood; amplified by the fact that Aemond had refused to speak to you afterwards. Though your families had managed to mend the broken bond somewhat, Aemond had never looked at you the same.
“The Seven tell us that sins can be forgiven, and though I have forgiven you for this”, he gestures towards his eye, “you were never made to apologise for your transgression. I’d like to offer you forgiveness”
“Apologise to me”
He pushes at your shoulder, gesturing for you to stand in front of the onlooking residents. You heed his instruction, turning so that you're facing him.
"Kneel"
You get down on your knees, looking up at Aemond’s imposing stature. He is frightening, the clearly satisfied state of his face haunting you.
“I’m sorry”, you say meekly; low and defeated.
“Come on, you can do better than that”, he encourages.
His voice is loud and with a hint of poorly concealed amusement.
“I’m sorry”, you repeat, this time louder.
“You’re not going to address me when you’re on your knees, asking for my forgiveness?”, he asks, tilting his head.
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your face grow hot from the feelings rumbling in your chest; rage, sadness, betrayal.
Why is he so intent on humiliating you?
“I’m sorry, Aemond”, you bite out.
He approaches you, hand stretched out to touch your head, gently stroking your hair. He brings his hand down to cup your chin, tilting your head so that you look up at him; meeting his purple and blue gaze.
“I forgive you”, he says, and despite sincerity being evident in his voice, you cannot help but feel like this is all just a farce.
The onlooking residents stay silent, but you feel their eyes observe you like flames against your skin.
The only sound coming from the audience is from Helaena, who lets out a quiet “lovely” as her smiles at you and Aemond. You eye her in disbelief.
Does she not see how fucked up this is?
As soon as the sermon finishes you dart out the door, speedily walking the short distance to the cottage you’re staying at.
You cannot bear to stay in this madness for even a second longer.
You slam the door open, grab your belongings and stuff them down your bag with force.
The sun is setting and you know that there are no streetlights out here, only open fields and forest. You'll need to find your way back to the station alone, Helaena’s clearly as mad as the rest of them.
You peek out through the door. No one seems to be nearby and you know this is your chance to sneak away without being forced to face Aemond, Alys or Helaena.
The sun is hanging low on the horizon as you quickly move towards where you and Helaena had emerged a few days prior.
You walk briskly, the commune growing smaller as you move further away.
The forest that had mesmerised you with its beauty slowly turns terrifyingly imposing as darkness chases the comforts of daylight away.
Though you're sure you’ve been following the way you and Helena came, you soon find yourself at a crossroads in the middle of two paths, not knowing which will lead you back to the small village where the train station was.
As you briefly stop to contemplate your options, a dark figure appear on your side.
Jayne’s eyes are kind as she offers you a curt smile, reaching out to take your hand.
“Come with me”, is all she says before moving in quick steps, pulling you along the path to the right. You follow without protests; you wouldn’t know the way without guidance anyway.
You spot what looks like a street light ahead and you feel your body relax at the thought of being close to the train station, soon on the way back home.
Finally you’ll be able to leave this week behind.
As you come closer however, you start to recognise the small, wooden houses. In the middle stands a large, looming building with lights illuminating the seven pointed star in the middle.
You try to jerk your hand away from Jayne, but her hold on you is iron-like as she pulls you towards the Sept.
“Don’t worry”, she tries to reassure you.
“Soon you’ll realise that this is where you’re meant to be”
Prospering
Jayne forcefully drags you into Aemond's office, quickly exiting to lock the door from the outside. You’re still in shock, adrenaline pumping through your veins.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself enough to assess the situation.
Everyone here’s deranged.
You’re outnumbered.
You could fight as hard as you like, and you’d still lose.
You start to nervously pace back and forth in front of Aemond’s large wooden desk, attempting to expel some of the nervous energy within you.
They wouldn't hurt you, right?
That’d be mad.
You think back to the true crime documentaries you used to be obsessed with. The best thing to do was play along with the madness and strike when they least expect it.
Make them believe you’re not a threat so they’ll trust you.
You just needed to keep your head cool and play along a little while longer. Then they’d take you back to the train station and you could go back home.
A sharp rap on the door pulls you away from your thoughts.
You hear someone fiddle with the lock before the door opens slightly and Alys slips through the small crack. You can hear voices outside, but they quickly fade away as Alys shuts the door promptly.
She gives you a nod, expression as calculated as it always is. She’s carrying two wine glasses in one hand and holding an opened bottle of wine in the other.
“Oh relax”, she tells you with a smile,
“Have some wine, it’ll calm your nerves”
She places the glasses on the desk, pouring you both a serving each before putting down the bottle and handing you one of the glasses.
“Here’s to a prosperous future”, she says, raising her glass and giving you a nod. You match her gesture, bringing the glass to your lips as you watch her take a sip.
The wine tastes like the ones your mum usually orders when you go out to eat; rich and with some lingering spiciness.
“Dornish red. Aemond’s favourite”, Alys states. Her delicate fingers are wrapped around the stem as she holds the glass elegantly.
She seems to do everything with grace, never faltering. Never appearing clumsy or out of place.
It's hard not to admire her.
“You know he’s only trying to help you, right?”, she asks.
"I-", you’re quiet for a while as you rack your brain for something to say that won’t upset her, “I appreciate that, but I need to get back home and-“
“Just let him help you, okay?”
Though her voice rises slightly at the end, it doesn’t feel like a question.
You know that there is no room for argument. Alys has maintained her calm appearance, yet her eyes are so expressive; the only part of her face that she can’t force into submission.
Their intensity make the hairs at the back of your neck rise, demanding you obey her.
She downs her glass before placing it on the desk, leaving you alone yet again in Aemond’s office.
It’s gotten dark now, the sole window in the room not providing much light anymore.
You continue to sip the wine in your glass as you lean against the desk next to you. The alcohol might provide you with some comfort; sooth your anxiety.
A soft knock on the door announces the presence of your next visitor.
Helaenas’ silver hair brightens up the dark room as she enters. She’s holding a flower crown in one hand, beautifully crafted with wildflowers you recognise from the bouquets always adorning the table outside.
“Hi”, she greets with a smile.
You nod back at her, still not quite sure how to appraise her.
She’s been one of the people you’ve felt closest to your entire life, yet she seems to approve of the mad things happening here.
How can she not see how humiliating Aemond’s actions during the sermon had been?
“I made this for you”, she says and hands you the flower crown.
As your hands touch, her fingers linger on yours, tips dragging over your knuckles with a feather-light touch.
“Thanks”, you reply curtly, not sure of what to say.
You want to ask Helaena for the way back to the train station.
Ask her to come back with you to Oldtown.
But she’s so different here. She overlooks so much, agrees to so much.
Always with a smile.
“Put it on”, she urges, hands moving to the flower crown to help you place it on your head. You want to protest but you’re so tired of it.
Tired of asking questions.
Tired of going against everyone.
“There”, she says with a smile as she regards you, face even brighter than before,
“You look so beautiful”
“Hel..”, you try, tongue coming out to lick your lips as you choose your words carefully.
She’s still your dear aunt; still Helaena.
“I want to go back home, Hel. We could go together, if you like?”
Despite trying to keep your voice even, you sound a little frantic.
“No you can’t leave now”, is all she replies, dismissing you. She doesn’t appear to be upset by your words though, lips still forming a warm smile.
“Hel, listen. What you’re doing here is not okay. Aemond maimed a man! And he humiliated me in front of everyone. Something’s wrong with him”
Your eyes dart all over her face and stature to assess her reaction to your words. You’re astonished by her indifference, almost like she’s not taking your words in.
She places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly as her eyes lock with yours,
“All actions have consequences. We’re all made aware of that here. Aemond only wants what’s best for us. He’s worked so hard to provide us with this. You should be thankful”
She leaves you alone in the room once more, and as she exits, you hear her secure the lock on the door from the outside.
By the time you hear someone unlock the door next, you’ve finished the glass of wine Alys gave you.
The room is now illuminated by nothing but the light of the moon shining through the window, casting a silver glow over the office.
Matching the man entering.
Aemond’s tall silhouette appears, instantly making you straighten up, dread washing over you.
He has been so volatile during your stay here, making you feel unease by the mere sight of him.
You can still hear chatter and what sounds like furniture being shuffled around outside as the door is left ajar by Aemond, who moves towards you.
He stands so close to you that his feet are touching yours.
His face is stern, looking at you down his nose. Fighting the fright within you, you meet his gaze, refusing to give him the satisfaction of backing down too easily.
Still, you know that you’ll need to play your cards right, go along with the madness here momentarily, so that they’ll eventually let you go home.
“Why did you leave?”, he asks, eyes never leaving yours.
His voice is that unique mixture of being gentle and stern, demanding you obey him and tell him the truth.
“I tried to leave because of what you did to me during the sermon. What you did to Jon!”
You’re unable to hide the fear-laced irritation you feel at his audacity.
How could he expect you to stay? Wasn’t it obvious why you left?
“I might have been selfish for needing that apology, but it was necessary. Now we can move forward together”
He moves one of the hands he’s had clasped behind his back towards you, gently placing his it in yours.
Your gaze flickers down to where he’s holding you. Your hand looks so small and delicate in his large one. His touch is warm.
You scoff at his attempt to reconcile,
“Who said I’ve forgiven you for what you did?”
“You know you owed me an apology after leaving me alone with your vicious brothers that night”, Aemond says and he shuffles even closer to you,
“Do you think that what happened during the sermon can match the pain I felt when your brother took my eye?”
“N- no, but Aemond-"
“No. You’ll never understand the pain I’ve been through. But I’ve chosen to forgive you, and now we can move forward together”
His voice is slightly strained as he lectures you. His purple eye is piercing, and though you’d wanted to match his strength, you can’t help it when your eyes look down in shame.
“However”, he speaks in a lower tone, thumb moving to stroke the back of your hand,
“I am disappointed in your attempt to leave me and Helaena here without even granting us a proper goodbye”
“You’ll prosper here with us, but you’ll have to follow our rules. Dishonesty is not allowed, and your actions show that you attempted to act deceitfully".
His hand drops yours as he grabs your arms on both sides, swiftly turning you around and pushing on you back with a firm hand so that you're bent over his desk.
You’re too startled to fight back, letting out a yelp as you feel him tower over you from behind. He leans down over your body, hand still firmly on your back, pushing down,
“You have probably heard stories of whipping those who refuse to see the light. But I am no monster, so I will spare you from the whip”, he murmurs next to your ear, hand on your back trailing downwards,
“My hand will serve”
Before you’re able to reply, or even fully take in what he’s telling you, you feel his large palm make swift contact with your backside, the gesture causing a loud smack to echo through the quiet room.
You let out a startled cry in pain as you turn your head to face Aemond, confused betrayal reflected in how your mouth fall open and eyebrows rise.
His hand smooths over the material of your skirt where he’s just slapped you, somewhat soothing the painful sting on your skin.
“For being deceitful, I’ll give you five smacks. That’ll teach you to behave”,
The stoic gentleness of his voice borders on sounding amused as he takes in your shocked face.
Can you still play along?
What will happen if you resist?
While you’re trying to calculate your next move, Aemond’s hand land another harsh hit on your ass.
You sqeel from the pain, but quickly try to stifle the sounds coming out of your mouth.
Your painfully aware of the fact that he left the door ajar.
The residents outside might hear what’s happening. You feel tears well up in your eyes from the humiliation; from the stinging pain on your backside.
Aemond shushes you as he once again smooths his hand over your abused flesh in a comforting manner,
“You’re doing so well, my love” he tells you, eyes meeting yours once again.
You don’t understand why his words stifle the anxiety you feel, but they do.
“Only three more”, he states as he lands another stinging hit on your ass, even harsher then before.
You can’t hinder the tears that escape down your cheeks anymore.
“Good girl”, Aemond coos as he soothes your pain with his palm. Though the fabric of your skirt separates your skin from his, you can feel the warmth radiating off him.
Hearing him praise you shouldn’t sooth your pain, or make you feel better in the slightest, but it does.
You notice the soft look of satisfaction in his eye and you feel proud.
His hand lands on you quickly and you bite your lip desperately to not cry out. More tears slide down your cheek as you give Aemond a pleading look.
“Just one more, and then you’ve served your punishment”, he reassures you as he caresses your stinging flesh.
You close your eyes, bracing yourself for the last smack to land and when it does, you flinch before letting out a sigh of relief because you’d done it, you’d taken the punishment and now Aemond would be pleased with you.
The thought makes a warm sensation spread in your chest and when you open your tear-filled eyes, Aemond is already watching you with an expression that feels nothing less than loving.
While one hand stays on your backside to gently caress you, the other travels to you face, cupping your cheek. His thumb runs over your cheek, wiping away some of the wetness.
“You took your punishment so well. You make me proud”, he tells you, and his soft voice sounds so sincere. You lean into his touch on instinct, his palm providing comforting warmth to your cheek.
Being praised by him makes you feel happier than you’ve been in a long time.
It feels so good to be appreciated; to know you did something well. You can’t help but smile as your eyes lock with his. He smiles back at you.
“Now, I’ve got a surprise for you”, he tells you as he straightens up, grabbing your arm to link it with his. You know that there is more you need to talk about; more that’s unsaid. Yet, your mind feels fuzzy and you’re finding it hard to properly sort your thoughts out.
Aemond snakes his hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him and you lean into his warmth; it’s so comforting.
“Aemond, I-, I still need to know…”, your voice dies as you mentally search for a question.
What was it that made you leave?
Oh! Jon!
“Why did you cut Jons hand?”, you ask, hoping that the softness of your voice will prevent his impending irritation. You don’t think you could handle another punishment.
Aemond is quiet for some time, possibly pondering his response, before he speaks,
“Jon spoke out of turn, questioning my roles as the leader of this community. He now understands that everything I do is for the good of the commune and its residents”, he explains, arm still holding you by the side as his palm rests out on your stomach.
“Here in the commune, we know that scars tell a story; they remind us of our wrongdoings and guide us when we stray from the light of the Seven”
He stops in front of the door, turning slightly to look at you,
“You should be grateful I didn’t scar you, like I’ve done to others. Soon you’ll appreciate all that I've done for you”
He pushes the door to his office open, revealing the large hall where you’d been humiliated during Aemond’s sermon.
The residents of the commune are all facing you, watching you expectantly as you emerge from the office.
They’re all sitting on the exact same seats as before. The Sept is dark, illuminated only by the scarce moonlight shining through the seven-pointed star carved in the upper part of the buildings large walls, and by the candles lit across the room.
You see one of the residents standing by the altar where Aemond had stood during the sermon.
You recognise him as one of Aemond’s former professors in King’s Landing. The man is probably in his early to mid-sixties with grey specks clear in his brown locks. He offers you a smile as you approach with Aemond, his brown eyes warm and inviting,
“Welcome”
Aemond leads you to stand in front of the altar, arm still anchoring you to him.
“Is everything ready?”, your uncle inquires as his grip around you tightens.
“Yes. Let’s begin with the seven vows”, the elderly man says before reciting what sounds like a long prayer.
Having Aemond hold you makes you feel secure, and it takes you a while to really comprehend what is going on.
Why are the two of you standing here, instead of sitting with the other residents?
“Do you accept the seven vows, the seven blessings and the seven promises?”, he asks, warm eyes meeting yours.
“I do”, Aemond replies next to you, squeezing your waist in a silent command for you to do the same.
You turn to face him, brows furrowed in confusion.
What is it you’re agreeing to?
Aemond’s patience seems to run thin as you remain silent.
You notice his jaw twitch as he gives the resident in front of you a pointed look, prompting the man to respond in a quick nod before moving to join the onlookers.
Aemond turns to fully face you, yet he doesn’t move his arm, tugging you towards him so that your soft chest knocks against his.
“With this kiss, I pledge my love, and take you for my wife”, he says before he surges forward, crashing his lips against yours.
You stiffen in his grip, trying to back away from him but unable to move in his hold. You hear applause echo through the hall as Aemond retreats, a satisfied smirk on his lips.
You open your mouth to protest, but your voice is drowned out by the loud chanting of the onlooking residents,
“One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”
They abruptly stand, chanting over and over as they move towards the large wooden doors of the entrance, going outside to leave you and Aemond alone in the Sept.
Even after the last person has left and closed the door, you can hear them chanting outside.
“One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”
The slight tranquillity you’d previously found comfort in vanishes as you search Aemond’s face for an explanation; an answer as to what is going on.
His hand cups your cheek again, the loving look he’d offered you before you left his office still present,
“Your decision to leave tells me that you are lost. I’ll help you. I’ll help you see the light again”
You’re lost for words.
“I’m doing this for you. I know how much you crave to be loved. I’ll give you that. Just trust me”
His reassurance does little to calm your nerves as you feel dread pool in your gut.
“But Aemond, not like this, we can’t-”, you protest weakly. Despite the uneasiness taking root inside of you, your body betrays you as it still leans into the touch of his hand.
“I know how to fix you, just like I fixed Helaena”, he comforts you. His seeing eye seeks yours, silently inciting you to trust him,
“You were made for me, and I for you. I know you’ve been feeling lost for a long time. My uncle told me how depressed you were in Oldtown”
“The mother blessed women with wombs to heal their inner sadness. Becoming a mother will heal you”,
He pushes your body against the altar,
“We need to consummate our marriage, or it won’t be recognised by the Seven”
You feel dread settle in your bones as you take in his word.
“No, Aemond, please-, this is wrong! What would our mothers say?”, you desperately try to reason, panic making your breath quicker as he places his hands on either side of you on the altar; caging you in.
He lowers his head so closely that your noses touch, eye never straying away from yours,
“They’ll understand”
His lips find yours again. You know kissing him is wrong, yet your body melts into his touch as his soft lips press against yours.
Maybe they would understand?
Aemond’s tongue gently swipes over your lower lip, pushing to gain access. As he deepens the kiss, his hands travel down to your skirt, gathering the fabric in his grip before breaking away from you.
You’re both breathing heavily as you stay frozen, taking in each other's expressions. A thin line of translucent spit connects your lips and you notice Aemond’s eye flicker down to watch your kiss-swollen lips.
The conflicting emotions within you rage like the worst of storms, making your head spin. Aemond’s gentle prodding had successfully made you into putty in his hands, yet the uneasy feeling from before remains, steering you away from his control.
“No, no. We can’t, this has already gone too fa-”, you’re abruptly startled to silence as Aemond swiftly sinks down to his knees, pushing up the fabric of your skirt to expose your underwear.
You try to push your legs together but one of his hands quickly dart out to pull down the small piece of fabric separating your skin from his.
You place your hands on both sides of his head in an attempt to push him away, but his face moves towards your exposed centre with determination.
He grabs ahold of the outside of your thighs as he pushes your body towards his face, tongue immediately finding your bundle of nerves, swiping over it in rhythmic circles. Your grip on his head tightens as you push with all your strength for him to back away, but to no avail. He buries his face further into the apex of your thighs as he grips your tights painfully, fingertips leaving colourful marks of ownership.
You whine from the pain; from the pleasure building inside of you as Aemond forces your body into submission. He manhandles your right leg so that it rests on his shoulder, giving him further access to assault you with his mouth.
He sucks on your clit as he brings two fingers up to slide through your folds; the ease of which they glide lets him know the effect his touch has on you.
His fingers find your entrance, pushing inside to instantaneously curl forward, finding that spot inside you that always brings you waves of pleasure. You let out a startled moan as your hands go limp around Aemond’s head, simply resting there.
You close your eyes, violent pleasure making it hard for you to think clearly, just like how you’d felt in his office a few days ago.
Why does he have this effect on you? Why is he so good at this?
Why does it feel so good?
Another pathetic moan leaves your lips as he picks up the speed of his actions, purple and sapphire gaze watching you intently. You close your eyes once again, internally surrendering to his touch.
You want it. You need it.
You feel something ignite within you just as your peak crashes over you. The intensity makes your walls clench around Aemond’s fingers as you gasp in pleasure. Your legs shake from the force and you grab onto his hair for some stability.
He withdraws from you, slightly out of breath, and stands, large frame looming over you.
“No one else makes you feel as good as I do, no one else sees you like I do. We have found each other through the guidance of the seven, can’t you see that? We were meant to be”, he says and grabs your waist to hoists your slack body up on the altar.
He pushes your thighs apart, reaching down to undo his slacks and pulls them down just enough to free his length. It is just as intimidating as it had been yesterday; thick, veiny and ragingly red.
“You want this, I know you do”, he says before pushing inside you, causing you to whine at the stretch. You feel so full, and the impact of your orgasm makes your head feel fuzzy; like you’re floating away. Your walls contract around Aemond and he moans as he lowers his head to rest in the crook of your neck.
“You feel just as perfect as I knew you would”, he whispers in your ear. He draws his hips back, pushing them into yours with such force that your body jolts on the altar. You try to hold on to him with every harsh thrust, but your limbs feel too weak. It all feels so overwhelming, so good, that you can’t bite your lip hard enough to hinder the moans that bounce around the seven walls of the Sept.
One of Aemonds hands come down to draw circles on your clit once more. He pulls back slightly to watch you; to take in your pleasure-drunk expression.
“Let them hear you”, He presses down on your bundle of nerves harsher, still dragging his cock in strong, calculated movements along your walls.
The precision of his touch pushes you towards another peak, but when you feel it nearing, he withdraws completely, eyes flickering down to briefly admire the coat of your slickness adorning his manhood.
He grabs your hips, pulls you down from the altar and turns you around so that you’re facing away from him. Like in his office mere moments ago, he pushes on your back so that your chest makes contact with the wooden surface. He lets his cock glide through your folds before he leans down to mumble in your ear,
“Tell me what you want”
Robbing you of release has left you confused. Resigned and desperate, you let the throbbing between your thighs guide you,
“You, Aemond. I want you”
He pushes inside you again with a pleased grunt, picking up the pace quickly as he fucks you against the holy pedestal. Your hands grab both sides as it rocks in tandem with Aemond’s thrusts. His hand finds you clit again and this time you peak within seconds, pleasure washing over you as your legs turn into jelly.
You feel your legs give in, causing you to slide down on the floor. Aemond doesn’t let you go as he keeps fucking you, following you down to the floor. Your upper body jolts from the force of his movements, slowly slipping down to make contact with the cold stone floor.
He leans over you, pounding into you with force. One of his hands comes to rest above you on the altar, allowing him to fuck you harder, and you whine on the floor beneath him,
“Fucking take it”, he grunts as he goes harder, the contact of his hip bone against your abused backside sending stings of pain through your body.
His fingers find your clit again and you moan in pain-filled pleasure at the overstimulation, one hand reaching for his to push it away.
Aemond tuts behind you, “One more. Be good and give me one more”
You try to turn your head so that you can face him, but you’re unable to move, trapped under his body as he takes his pleasure from you. All you can do is take it; give in.
You cry out as you cum for the third time. Your walls clench down on Aemond’s length vigorously as they coax his release from him. You hear him sigh in pleasure as he fills you.
After a few moments, he pulls away from you, fingers moving to stuff whatever spend has trickled down your thigh back inside. You hiss at the pain. He whispers a gentle apology in your ear, helping you pull your underwear back up.
He stands and reaches down under the altar, picking up the flower crown that had fallen from your head sometime during the consummation. His fingers grasp it gently, placing it back on your head.
He looks so beautiful standing in front of you, the soft light from the candles and the silvery glimmer from the moonlight illuminating his features. He gives you another quick kiss before leading you out of the Sept to greet the residents still gathered outside.
As the two of you emerge from the building, beaming smiles, loud congratulations and well wishes for a prosperous future greet you and your husband.
Aemond never lets go of you, keeping you close to him as he chats with the residents; explaining his vision for the commune moving forward and the new role you’ll play as a permanent resident.
Somewhere inside, you know that you should feel ashamed over what just occurred; over the fact that the residents probably heard the entire ordeal as they patiently waited for you outside.
But all you can feel is bliss; a pleasant calm spreading from your chest. Heating up your insides.
Your life before now had been a long struggle, where you were forced to suffer. Forced to part from your closest childhood friend, forced to pursue a career to feel adequate, forced to live a mundane life in isolation.
Aemond pulls you away from the crowd, leaning down to whisper in your ear,
“Look up”
You see bright, green streaks of light decorate the dark night sky, accompanied by thousands of stars. It is the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.
Aemond tugs you even closer to his side, resting his chin on your head as you silently admire the northern lights together. All you can feel is his warmth, the safety of being in someone’s embrace. Of being in Aemond’s embrace.
It’s warm.
Comforting.
Freeing.
Thank you for reading! 🩵
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