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fishyviolet · 2 years ago

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(no worries about a fast response! it's also late for me lol, and this'll be kinda long. +kinda comes with the hc territory, but tw for discussions of trauma, death, and suicide) i want to start this by saying i'm not trying to like demonize you or be argumentative! hc is a special interest of mine and i love analyzing the themes of it. and i definitely agree that vincent and charles have a deeply toxic and unhealthy relationship in canon, and personally i think it's really weird for people to just portray them as uwu soft gay boys in love because it really just romanticizes a dynamic that isn't good for either character

however, i do also think that boiling it down to "toxic scary horrible for each other forever" kinda doesn't fit with the themes of the series, and i don't think charles and vincent are always destined to be toxic and horrible. one of the main themes of hc to me is how circumstance impacts the healing of trauma and mental illness, and how that goes on to impact relationships. almost all the characters in hc are deeply mentally ill & traumatized and prevented from coping with this as they're retraumatized again and again, with no access to help, a big part of the true realm which translates to the largely metaphorical false realm - charlotte is destined to be the abused heroine, anri lashes out at everyone in self defense, charles dies and tortures himself in his own afterlife, vincent dies feeling deeply alone, etc. the characters deeply yearn for connection - vincent asks charles to be present for his last moments, charles and anri enter a relationship, etc - but this is distorted by their circumstance. charles' mental health restrains him from opening up, anri is too guarded to truly be vulnerable, vincent's view of life is heavily distorted by his delusions, etc

and while ep 3 does end on a more optimistic note (it isn't happy, but charles acknowledges a lot of his own flaws and moves on from the house, with etherane's commentary especially implying that it's the start of a healing journey) the main hc series is still largely deeply tragic and depressing. i'd like to add some text from near the end of hc3, when charles is discarding a vincent vessel and discussing him, as i feel it speaks to his self awareness with vincent in particular:

q84: Weren't you supposed to keep him safe?

charles: ...Yeah. I really messed up. In the end, all I did was postpone the inevitable. No matter what, there's no way I could've helped him. There was no way of "fixing" him, either.

q84: Well, duh, you can't go around trying to "fix" people. There's no way of doing that, anyway.

charles: I knew that somewhere on a subconscious level, didn't I? That's why the House is the way it is. Were I convinced I could change him, or anyone... They would've ended up being the brainwashed, unnaturally happy versions of themselves. Never once have I wished for that. However, the images of people I knew still became distorted in this place. Especially Vincent's. I was so fascinated with the idea of him that I failed to see him as a real person. That's why in the House, he's all but an empty shell. An imaginary construct.

before laying him to rest. it took putting himself through horrible cycle after horrible cycle to acknowledge the flaws in his own life, because he clung so hard to every coping mechanism he could.

but heaven's gate is noted to be a much quieter (and in my opinion, softer) visual novel - it examines a world where the most harsh aspects of hc aren't present (scarlett isn't there, nobody dies) and while the characters are still in bad circumstances, they're allowed to connect much more, especially with vincent and charles meeting earlier

but this doesn't mean hg is happy, just less intense. the characters are still in bad circumstances and still have deep amounts of trauma. but hg presents the characters an opportunity to heal from that trauma, even if by the end of the game, they're still in bad places mentally - it isn't a happy ending, it's a world where they someday have the hope of one. vincent is alive and interacts more heavily with charles, charles has less stress, and anri doesn't move away. even before the end, charles and vincent get more direct opportunities to bond, especially in sharing their works - in particular, i think of the scene where vincent says he has something to show charles, and when charles asks if it's a love confession, vincent says "almost" and shares aether, a work about how isolated he feels. he may not connect to charles, but he's willing to expose a vulnerable part of himself - a deeply personal act that he isn't shown to take with any other character, even ones he makes an effort to be friendly with.

the main point where i disagree with you is that the ending scene is representative of why they're so bad for each other - because while i agree it calls out how toxic both sides of the relationship are, i also think it's less a moment of "oh, we're bad for each other, we can't be friends/together" and more a moment that can start their healing journey. it's a scene that explicitly parallels other moments in hc, but it ends on an undoubtedly optimistic note.

the ending scene is one where charles and vincent truly open up and recognize the flaws in their relationship - charles accepts that he highly idealizes vincent and has trouble seeing him as his own person, and vincent admits that no matter how much he wants to, he's never been able to connect with other people and craves a sense of control. they have extremely different reactions to their trauma - charles desires to become one with another person, to lose his own individuality, and vincent is so walled off from other people he isn't even sure who he's supposed to be outside of an idealized view of himself that he projects to other people.

the difference from the main series is that nobody dies, and there's hope in the future. vincent admits to charles he tried to kill himself, and that he wants to connect to others but finds it nearly impossible; charles admits he hasn't been treating vincent fairly and hasn't been trying to get to know the real him. the ending text in particular i feel is poignant. an excerpt:

Neither of us can find comfort in each other's words. Neither of us know what to do.

"I want you to live," I croak out, not to a corpse, not to an imaginary construct, not to a vacant shell, but to Vincent Fennell himself.

History repeats. I can't see his face.

"I see," Vincent says simply. No tears, no surprises. That's how Vincent Fennell is. Yet, his words sound almost thankful. Vincent gets up and extends his hand to me.

"Congratulations on graduating, Charles." I reach out and accept his hand.

The future still remains uncertain. Yet, I feel like I'll be able to fall asleep tonight. The sun rises. A new day has come.

this parallels old scenes in multiple ways - the entire scene, charles keeps repeating that he has a sense of deja vu, that he's been here before, mirroring vincent's suicide scene (also on a high location where he has his first true heart to heart with vincent). charles outright echoes frei's line on love and individuality - he wants to lose his own sense of self to connect to vincent due to his own self loathing. and most vitally, he echoes the scene of charlotte and c in hc2 where c asks charlotte to kill herself with him - both of them beg vincent/c not to die, not because they can convince the other to live, but because they want the other person to be in their life. "i want you to live." it's a selfish wish, but a wish born out of some form of care and connection.

at this point, their relationship isn't healthy. charles is just admitting that he really doesn't know vincent at all, and vincent is just admitting how distant he feels from everyone. but with the ending of hc3 being so heavily focused on moving on and healing (with etherane explicitly talking about how it was related to their own mental health journey), and with the ending lines of "yet, i feel like i'll be able to fall asleep tonight. the sun rises. a new day has come," i can't see this scene as just a pessimistic confirmation that the two are bad for each other.

to me at least, this scene signifies that though they've had a very rough and toxic relationship, vincent and charles are willing to acknowledge that, want to change, and in opening up to each other and confronting their flaws, their relationship can evolve. charles is accepting that vincent isn't the idealized person in his mind. vincent is accepting that he can't project a perfect image to everyone forever. they can never forget their past, but they can help each other heal from it

in conclusion because i know this is long as hell, i don't disagree that vincharles is a deeply flawed and often toxic relationship, but i also don't necessarily think it's inherently a cannibalistic and self-destructive one - i think hc tackles a lot of themes of uncontrollable circumstance hindering healing from trauma and mental health, and those things impacting interpersonal relationships, and the end of the series is largely about confronting those issues and trying to heal. and i think another big part of the series is that relationships that may be unhealthy due to unresolved trauma and mental health issues may not always be that way - and that hurt people, even if they aren't in a good state now, can help each other heal, even if the journey is hard.

// anonymous submission

Everything below is my thoughts/comments

Oh i absolutely agree w your points! I never really meant to imply that the ending scene of HG was meant to be purely pessimistic or that i was viewing it as such; obviously, admitting one's faults (Charles acknowledging that he wasn't seeing Vincent as a person) is the first step to healing them, and in this case specifically he goes a step further and makes an effort to amend that fault (indeed speaking to Vincent Fennel himself). I was more trying to reinforce how insane it is to me that some people see their relationship as being way more genuine than it actually is Despite context like this. like I personally completely forgot the dialog of the exchange you cited between charles and q84 just because my memory is shit (and i probably need to reread hc at some point soonish). im sure plenty of others are also just as forgetful as I am in this regard. but the ending scene in heavens gate is literally the climax of the story so it's a lot easier to internalize and remember and factor into interpretation and such. thats why i brought it up in specific: when this is the climax of the story, how can one forget that charles is completely deluding himself in regards to how he sees Vincent?!?

i agree that the climax of heaven's gate is very optimistic. I think if vincent and charles worked hard and had the desire to do so, they could theoretically enter a deeper relationship, whether that be a true friendship or a romance or whatever. i liek heavens gate

also re: the Daydream rpf bit that was mainly a joke LMAO i absolutely agree that what vincent represents in The House is far deeper than that! i just thought the connection was funny :] your thoughts are super awsome i will be rereading it if i ever wanna think abt hc agai yayyy

#submission #hello charlotte #super awsom #lovely

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sharlayandropout · 1 year ago

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Random ask time:

During the events of the Crystal Tower, before the Labyrinth, is Zef distancing herself from Raha because she really doesn't like him? Or is she just uncomfortable because she, at the time, doesn't know how to feel about him?

Eee thank you so much for asking! It's one of the downsides to doing everything out of order the way I do, that a lot of the actual *character development* gets a bit lost or confused - but I've accepted that I'd never get anything out of my head at all if I tried to write it all linearly! I'm working on a pinned post that'll sort everything I've posted so far chronologically in the not-too distant future :D

Zef is a very remote, withdrawn, and suspicious person at the beginning of ARR. She was isolated as a child, a subject of lifelong dysmorphia; a traumatic accident, and later the loss of her parents in her teens saw her become even more withdrawn and dissociated, and the culmination of all of this trauma came after years of isolated study in Sharlayan, where she suffered a complete nervous breakdown. She loses years to this, and only really 'comes to' in the aftermath of the Calamity, when she starts to rebuild herself.

Still, for a long time after her journey begins in ARR, she keeps everyone at arm's length, wary of them - and of herself. She's never really had friends, never felt herself worthy of interaction. Even when joining the Scions, it takes a long time before she'll let herself be anything other than the 'hired muscle' to them. Moreover, it's difficult for her to recognise genuine kindness and friendliness for what it is - though the more she comes to terms with it, the more she treasures those who offer it, quietly but intensely.

They wear her defenses down, over time and though trials. Even then, she remains aloof, suspicious, and continues to keep her distance. But among her comrades the Scions, the Ironworks crew - she talks more. Smiles more. Gradually starts to open up a little more - though she'll say nothing about her past - an that's where the core of her story starts.

However, as someone outside that trusted circle, G'raha does not get the benefit of the doubt from her. Zefiris has no time for him at all. She feels like he made a fool of her at their first meeting - something she's been on guard against her whole life - and that's the definitive impression he leaves her with.

On the one hand, she recognises that he's putting on an act - a player knows a player, after all, and she's been acting a part for a long time. That doesn't soften her feelings towards him, though - the fact that he chooses to present himself as confident (which she reads as brash), and clever (arrogant), and capable (naive) is enough to put her right off him, and she doesn't care to think much beyond that initial impression.

In addition to that, though, there's the undercurrent that she doesn't want to admit: he's a successful scholar, everything she tried and failed to be. Her irritation at his persona is as much a form of self-defense as anything else.

Similarly, although she can appreciate on an aesthetic level that he's attractive, *attraction* isn't something she feels like she's allowed to experience. Her own dysmorphia is so ingrained at this point, and has been for most of her life, that she believes that entire aspect of human interaction isn't *for her*, isn't accessible to her, to the extent that she barely thinks of it at all. It's threatening, if anything, and she adds vanity to the list of things she finds annoying about him, despite having no real evidence of the fact.

Their relationship does change following the events of the Labyrinth; I'm working on a fic covering that at the moment. But even by the time G'raha goes to meet his destiny, they're no more than friends - for all that there's a quiet warmth nestling in his chest for her by the end, he'd never speak of it, and she still wouldn't understand it if he did.

#zefstory #zefstory notes #crystal tower

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therubyreader · 2 years ago

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My Review of Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

See a full list of my book reviews here

*Disclaimer: there will be spoilers later on in the review*

Review Word Count, non-spoiler: 594 Review Word Count Total: 1,302

It's time for the long awaited (by one of my friends) review of Six of Crows and it had a lot of hype to live up to. For starters, this is a spin-off of the Shadow and Bone series and takes place 2-ish years after the events of the last book, Ruin and Rising. I know one of the questions going around is "should I read Shadow and Bone first?" to which I say, sure. I mean you don't have to, it is nice to have some background on the world you're in and also some Shadow and Bone characters appear in this duology or are mentioned so it's nice to know. Is it the end of the world if you don't read Shadow and Bone first? No, you'll be fine, a little confused at times, but fine, so it's entirely up to you. I personally liked having the background knowledge before reading Six of Crows so I would recommend reading Shadow and Bone first but, again, not super duper necessary.

So this book brings us back to the Grishaverse (which I just confirmed is two years after the Shadow and Bone books) in the city of Ketterdam where criminal mastermind Kaz Brekker, lieutenant of the Dregs gang, is offered the heist of a lifetime: breaking into the Ice Court in Fjerda, but Kaz can't do it alone so he assembles a team of his most deadly gang members, and some others, called the Crows to take on this deadly job.

This book will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time which wasn't very good for my anxiety but it was a fun read. The book changes perspective at random so you never get the full picture and are essentially just along for the ride not knowing what happens next and after you think there's no way for the Crows to make it out of a situation they somehow do and even more insanely it's all according to Kaz's plan. And it's this writing style that keeps you on your toes because you are only getting small parts of the story at a time as a character is experiencing it and the more you read the more pieces of the puzzle you get, and just when you think you have all the pieces you realize you don't and there's more layers. It's a really exciting read in my opinion, there isn't a dull moment in the whole story since things just keep happening not just within the context of the story but we also get each character's back story sprinkled throughout.

As much as I enjoyed the book and the writing style, I will say it is worth the hype, I honestly liked the Shadow and Bone series more which is an unpopular opinion and sacrilege within the fanbase. This isn't because I think SoC is worse, like I said, it's a great book and I enjoyed every page, but for some reason SaB is my favorite of the two series. I think it's because of the nostalgia aspect that I mentioned in the SaB review (shameless plug) where because it was written around the time I started reading YA fiction it feels familiar and comforting to me despite me just having read it a couple of months ago.

That being said, I recommend it to you all if you're into action and adventure with a found family trope and traumatized main characters that have realistic motivations (money) and no desire to be heroes that save the world.

Spoilers Below!!

First thing I have to get off of my chest is that, again another unpopular opinion please come bash me in my asks if you absolutely must, is that I'm not a member of the Kaz fan train. This is not to say that I hate him, he's a very well written character who has been negatively shaped by his life and has essentially become the human personification of "cool motive, still murder", but I'm not joining in with the rest of the fanbase in their undying love for him. He is very interesting to read about and to go on a journey with but he's not my favorite character (shout out Inej and Nina). Also, this dude is a criminal mastermind at seventeen, he somehow manages to think ahead and outsmart all of the adult criminals around him which is extremely admirable, he is also the human personification of playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. There are multiple points where you think everything has gone to shit but it's actually all part of Kaz's plan, like the fake ship they blow up and then the real ship they blow up and switching out Kuwei for Wylan. He is scarily smart and I honestly am terrified of him sometimes but like in a positive way.

Something I also really liked about the book is how we were able to see more countries in the Grishverse that we weren't able to see in the SaB trilogy since we were essentially confined to Ravka for the whole thing minus the first part of Siege and Storm and a tiny bit of Shadow and Bone where they pass the border with Fjerda to hunt Morozova's stag. Because of how diverse the main cast is we essentially get to see how the rest of the world looks like outside of Ravka, and if I'm remembering correctly we visit pretty much every other country in the series with the exception of Shu Han.

Also the prison break as a whole was insane, there were a couple of times I had to put the book down because it triggered my anxiety but like in fun way. Literally everything that can go wrong does go wrong and yet somehow they manage to succeed because Kaz is not only insanely smart but literally all of the other Crows are insane. I don't know if it was my anxiety causing me to read too fast or me being a little dumb but there were parts of the heist that didn't make sense like how they got a tank?? Why was there a tank and what was going on? It was fun to read but I didn't understand how we got a tank. And, along with that, the structure of the Ice Court was confusing when they were there even though it was described earlier in the book, them actually being there made my head hurt because I didn't know where anyone was. I was just going with it at that point because I was confused and anxious and I just wanted to move on.

Also despite this being a book about a gang of teenagers essentially invading another country they had some very funny moments sprinkled throughout which made the characters way more human and likable. My favorite part is when they're on the boat going to Fjerda when Kaz and Jesper are talking about annoying each other's ghosts and Kaz says "I'm going to hire Matthias' ghost to kick your ghost's ass," and Matthias responds "My ghost wouldn't associate with your ghost," before realizing he's falling into their trap of nonsense. It's such a good and pure moment despite the circumstances it is the foundation of their relationship as friends and later family which I think is cute.

I do think I would have to read this book again at some point to fully understand what was happening due to my own confusion but it something I wouldn't mind and this is probably just a me problem. I do think if you're someone whos annotates books this shouldn't be a problem but if you're naturally a fast reader and anxious like me it might be a confusing read at some points but not debilitating.

#val’s book reviews #six of crows #shadow and bone #leigh bargudo #the grisha series #the grisha trilogy #grishaverse

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 2 years ago

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What is the "burnt marshmallow" LMK AU I've been hearing about?

Burnt Marshmallow!Monkey King AU is basically just a mashup of a couple of hc's and a design I have for Monkey King. Tumblr is being a jerk so I can't just link you some explanation posts so I'm just gonna have to summarize

Headcanon 1: Fire

In jttw the only thing that's really ever hurt Sun Wukong is smoke and fire. He's been burned quite a lot, by the Samhadi fire, lost his sight for a bit due to smoke in his eyes, and way back during the Havoc in Heaven he was actually burned in a furnace for forty-nine days. I created this design (1 2 3) thinking about the results of that that maybe he never fully recovers from that. When he gets out of the furnace it even talks about him having glowing red eyes. I just had the thought of "what if that was more permanent" to the point where his fur never grew back the same way and the areas around his eyes were kinda charred and blackened because they're the most venerable part of him. (Hence the Nickname “Burnt Marshmallow”)

Headcanon 2: Glamours

I was thinking about how, he'd hide his appearance in canon, and in order for glamours to be convincing, he'd have to have some physical substance to them so that people could touch them and not immediately know it was just an illusion. Like if Mk were to reach out and touch his head he'd be able to feel how weirdly course and spiky feeling his fur is in contrast to how soft and fluffy it appears to be, he'd know somethings up. So I hc glamours act as a physical shield between the user and those around them.

Headcanon 3: JTTW

So I actually hold the hc that Tang Sanzang (Tripitaka) was actually afraid of Sun Wukong. (Which, y’know, kind fair. He watched him throw an entire mountain, run at the speed of sound, fly around on a cloud and insta-kill an entire group of bandits with no remorse (and maybe even some glee) in the first day of knowing him so... bGAKWMEOF) Anyway, add on the hc of my design for Wukong, and this monkey is one of the most demonic, terrifying things you’ve ever seen. As the Journey goes on Wukong gets enough self-awareness to realize Tang Sanzang is afraid of him, (which i actually hc as to why he listens to Zhu Bajie more and is so quick to punish and scold Wukong for things) and starts applying glamours little by little to make himself less terrifying. Dulls his teeth, slowly makes his fur change colour, changes his eyes to gold, a more friendly, good looking appearance, gradual enough that he makes it appear natural and if anyone asks he just says his fur’s finally growing out

Conclusion:

Burnt Marshmallow!Monkey King is an AU about how Monkey King is traumatized as heck, is hiding his true appearance and who he is behind a perfect hero persona because he believes he has to in order for people to feel comfortable around him or for him to be treated kindly/loved. He’s also the most touch starved version of Monkey King because after 500 years under a mountain + glamours that prevent people from touching him, he hasn’t actually had physical contact with anyone for close to a thousand years, maybe even more. So like, the moment someone makes contact with him without his glamour on he just shuts down completely, which becomes a problem during battles when his glamour is off. He barely remembers what he actually looks like and wears his glamours constantly out of habit, and not a single person knows about it.

Then Mk and the crew find out.

So it’s basically just a bunch of my hc’s building up until it was an AU of it’s own lol. I’ve made lots of posts about it, but unfortunately Tumblr’s the worst rn and nothing shows up when I search the tag so :’) hopefully this gave you the general gist of it. I’m currently writing a fic about this and it’s taking shape very nicely ngl, very angsty, lots of recover, and deals with a lot of Wukong’s suppression of certain aspects of himself and things bubbling over the top. And then just... him learning that there are people who won’t be scared of him no matter what he looks like, and that they’ll love him regardless, and that he doesn't need to change specific things about himself to make himself lovable, he already is. but yeah. Just Mk and the crew helping him work through a couple thousand years of trauma WOOOO BGAS;LKDFMAOWE

My favourite part of the fic so far is when he climbs a tree :P

#knox rambles #Burnt Marshmallow!Monkey King AU #Burnt Marshmallow!Monkey King #this post actually sparks joy i forgot how much I love my ideas BKGMAOWEF #asks #anon #fr tho fr #I'm in love with this AU i'm gonna have SO much comfort and recovery in it it's great #hopefully we'll go 50/50 on the hurt/comfort BGAMOWEF #just me writing Wukong getting some therapy and working through trauma he has #and slapping on some physical manifestations of said trauma because it's a hecka cool design #I'M NOT APOLOGIZING FOR RAMBLING BECAUSE THIS WAS FUN AND IT MADE ME HAPPY :D

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apple-but-sour · 3 years ago

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can i ask why is the staged finale so important to the story?

because if the only people who knew it was staged were dream and punz (i dont think sam knew because he seemed to truly believe the prison was made for tommy) then all the damage and trauma the whole incident inflicted on tommy, tubbo and other characters is still the same. it doesn't really make it any better. tubbo still believed he was going to die and so on.

like i get why dream apologists cling to it like lifeline- dream mustn't be all evil if it was staged right? but overall, unless they plan on doing a huge reveal and have a big arc about it, i cant see how it changes anything

btw i don't doubt the finale was staged, i just don't see how its so important and you seem like a person who knows their lore

I'd say it changes more about c!Dream's character than the story at large, but still has a significant impact on the story. This got kind of rambly and long so I am putting it under a cut.

1. This isn't my first time seeing it, and I always find it odd that the assumption of people who were never that into Staged Finale is that the main point of the Staged Finale theory has been making c!Dream "better" somehow. Morally, that is. I don't doubt it's the reason some c!Dream apologists clung to theory, but it wasn't the reason I was in favor of it. I liked the idea of the Finale being staged not because it makes c!Dream Less Evil, but because it keeps him a consistent character. BlueBell talked about how genuine Finale made c!Dream inconsistent here.

2. The Disc Finale is staged. All of it. The Attachment vault, including the Skeppy Cage, were never going to be used. The monologue c!Dream gave c!Tommy about how he needed him to continue bringing attachment to the server was a lie. c!Dream was never going to kill c!Tubbo. You are right in saying this in no way diminishes how traumatizing the event was for c!clingyduo, but as I've said, that wasn't the point of it all. All of this doesn't serve to make c!Dream morally better as much as it serves to show just how complex of a character he is. In the Finale, he ticks off all the boxes of the Stereotypical Pure Evil Villain criteria: he has the evil monologues, the simplistic motivation of control, the arrogant dramatics, etc. Staged Finale reveals that the Stereotypical Villain was an act, a persona. This gives c!Dream a lot more depth and counters the perception many in the fandom have of c!Dream as the one exception to the server's "everyone is morally grey" rule. And I'd like to clarify that by saying c!Dream is morally grey, I'm not saying all his actions are justifiable, it's just that Morally Black or Morally White characters tend to lack depth and exist mainly to fill out a role in the narrative. c!Dream is not that character. He has his own internal worldview and does not exist solely to serve c!Tommy's, or anyone else's, narrative.

3. This is more a matter of opinion, but I always found the Disc Finale kind of sucky, as I talked about here. It followed conventional story structure but did so in a manner that didn't appeal to me. The Finale being staged has massive implications for the writing of the Dream SMP and what the writers are capable of when it comes to storytelling, especially when it comes to foreshadowing and long-term planning. What people put down to bad writing turned out to in fact be intentional. One of the most fascinating aspects of Staged Finale is that to further his plans, c!Dream utilized narrative conventions, in-universe, without breaking the fourth wall, which is something I have never heard of in a story before. He handcrafted a Hero's Journey for c!Tommy, and the perfection of it all was part of what made his plan so convincing both for c!Tommy himself and the fandom. This aspect of the Dream SMP story — characters using narrative conventions in-universe — is something I find very very interesting.

4. I do not think the initial reveal is the end of the Staged Finale's impact. Other characters will likely learn about it and have to deal with this new information, which will be interesting to witness. I'm especially interested in how c!Sam will react when he learns that c!Dream trusted him not to abuse his power. Especially considering how c!Sam grasps onto every opportunity of justifying himself. It'll be a trainwreck and I am going to enjoy it immensely. So even though it may seem like not much has changed, yet, I'm sure more changes are still to come.

There is probably more to be said on Staged Finale, especially by someone more knowledgeable in storytelling than me, but this is all I have on the matter. TL:DR It massively changes c!Dream's characterization, making him consistent, has great implications for the writing of the Dream SMP and is sure to have a bigger impact on the story than what we've seen so far.

#apple answers #anon #dream smp #c!dream #dreamwastaken #dreblr #apple rambles

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wackywheel · 3 years ago

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OKAY. kudos to @cantbelieveivedonethis for getting the ball rolling on this theory with this post. cannot stress that enough + i dont wanna steal her thunder

ive mentioned previously that ive had this theory for quite some time, so much so that a future plot point of my fic may end up getting spoiled if i talk about it too much but FUCK IT! c!connor lore comes first i’m saying my piece

(readmore for convenience that hopefully works)

The Basics to preface this theory, i would like to remind everyone of one important facet of c!connor's character that feels as though it's been forgotten recently; c!connor views himself as The Main Character. obviously, this isn't anything big in the grander scheme of the server. everyone considers themselves to be the main characters of their stories! but this post is about c!connor, not the rest of the server. (at least, not until a little later)

The Underdog imagine this; it's your first day on the server! your best friend just died. over the course of the next year you'll not only get kicked out of every home you build for yourself, but you'll also get tortured, horribly traumatized, and left to fend for yourself by everyone around you. and yet...

Despite Everything, It’s Still You c!connor still treats everyone that he comes across with kindness and understanding. i won't spend a whole lot of time talking about him as some do, but it's definitely worth mentioning c!tommy's importance to this facet of c!connor's identity. the kid treated him like absolute shit, and still doesn't really take him all that seriously most of the time. despite this, though, c!connor still treats him with respect and kindness, even going so far as to say that he misses him in the same way that he misses c!schlatt. and that's saying something. but, enough about tommy.

when we compile all of these aspects of connor's character and shift our focus to pandora's vault, though, some pieces start to fall into place.

The Hero's Journey an underdog who cares for those around him, despite how they might have once wronged him that's looking for a way to bring himself to the top as not just A main character, but THE main character? someone with a motive to revive his dead best friend, who he's stated that he misses dearly quite a bit? someone that knows exactly WHERE and WHO could possibly give him access to this capability to revive people? hmm...

The Belly of the Beast in case it wasn't obvious already from that last section, here's my claim: i don't think there was ever a fake military id, nor was c!connor arrested whatsoever. i think that he actively went to pandora's vault and asked to be let in in order to try to get the revive book information from c!dream himself. as the title of this section suggests, this would be c!connor's moment where he enters the most dangerous place he's dealt with yet, (i mean, to our knowledge. as of today [2/08/22] we have no clue what c!connor's been up to offscreen if tales s2 does end up showing him doing it!) which holds one of the server's most powerful people.

The Warden's Toll now, here's the part where i completely shift gears and talk about c!sam. y'know, the guy who threw his entire life and almost every real friendship away for the sake of holding c!dream in the prison until he handed over the revive book info? who had dealt with visits going wrong before, to the point that he had to watch a guy get beaten to death and then revived and then traumatized even more than he'd already been before? yeah, that guy! why would he ever let c!connor in the prison?

well, i've actually already answered my own question partly on c!sam's side of things. less so for c!connor, ironically.

The Gamble we know why c!connor wants into the prison. he wants the revive book to bring c!schlatt back. why would c!sam let him in? because the revive book is all that was holding c!dream inside anymore. as soon as the nitty gritty of revival was taken and given to the wider server, (or possibly just c!quackity. you know how he is!) the burden of the prison, of pandora's vault, the one thing that had taken everything from c!sam would have finally been worth it. he could go back to how things used to be before taking up the mantle of the warden!

The Heist so c!connor would be allowed in. not directly to the main cell, of course! the rest of the guards were nowhere to be found, and the incident with c!tommy prior was plenty a reason to not let visitors get locked into the main cell with the main prisoner ever again. so, instead, c!sam took c!connor to a standard cell. later on when the warden wouldn't be as busy, (hopefully because the other guards would show their faces) c!connor would be able to be escorted in to begin the interrogation. it was a perfect plan! all c!connor would have to do is wait for a little while in a normal cell, no biggie!

When Everyone's Super, No-One Is this, obviously, isn't what happened, though. we know the story. the day before the prison break c!ranboo was taken in, c!techno witnessed it, yadda yadda yadda you get the picture. c!connor never got his chance to shine, to be the hero that did a service to his friend and the rest of the server, to be the main character, because another one showed up and stole the spotlight before he could even try, thus shifting the narrative away.

Proof After the Fact okay, enough hypotheticals. what do i have that supports this theory after the fact? simple. this hannah lore stream (if the link breaks in the future, i'm talking about the one from 1/27/22.) in specific, c!sam's kind and neutral treatment of c!connor, even when the guy straight up talks about how he was in the prison prior. wouldn't c!sam have more of a reaction to that if c!connor had actually been being held there for what he claims he was? yes, obviously at the time c!sam was dealing with the fallout of losing his main prisoner, but c!connor is just. so blunt about it? and despite that, c!sam still offers him a job at the bank and everything?

something absolutely does not add up here. hopefully this explains it, though!

#dream smp #connoreatspants #awesamdude #c!connor #c!sam #idk what else to maintag this lol #dream smp analysis #sam and nobody else besides the main man is tagged bc hes like. actually important to this theory lol #everyone else is just mentioned offhandedly

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emersonfreepress · 4 years ago

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What would the ro's be like in a zombie au?

whyyyyy anon whyyy. I'm actually gonna write this in like.. slightly different terms, you'll see. any time I even briefly think of a zombie au I'm just like

I WANNA WRITE IT SO BADDD

i don't even allow myself to entertain it for very long because getting into that would be the worst thing ever for my productivity with the alpha omg 😂😂 so I'll put like the ideas that pop into my head for writing a zombie au, to work some of that creative frustration out 😆

so in this very general, absolutely noncommittal idea of mine, the main cast are older and the setting is in and around a civilian settlement led by the Emersons.

and as a refresher, i like my zombie aus to have fast zombies and fast infections ^ ^ 28 Days Later/Train to Busan style babyyyy, we the Sprinting Dead up in this bitch 😆

= = =

Gabe is, predictably, looking for what's left of his family. Following rumors of safe havens and bunkers and such. Starts the story as someone who tries to be diplomatic, if not outright pacifist, but as times get tougher and resources dwindle, he'd become one of the most cutthroat motherfuckers in the wasteland. Low-key though, low-key. People won't trust you if they know you’re capable of throwing them to a horde for strategic reasons. Like if Rick turned into Shane (for those of us familiar with early Walking Dead--idk did that happen eventually? i gave up before we even met Negan lol). The end justifies the means :) Damn, I can legit see Gabe going full evil in a zombie au omg 😂😂 i want to write it so fucking bad

Preferred weapon for zed encounters: rifle

Preferred weapon for human encounters: handgun

Faith in humanity: fucking zero

Zombie kill count: plenty; the type to kill every zombie he has spare ammo and time for

Human kill policy: When it benefits him or the people he’s looking after

Survival rating: B+; he can make it out of some pretty dire situations through sheer will to live and ruthlessness

- - -

Kile has arrived--clearly, this is the timeline they belong in. They start their journey with Gabe (and their doggo) and stick to him like glue, even reluctantly so when Gabe eventually has them join the settlement. This can only go one way, though: Kile's just too much of a wildcard for the group and hates being told what to do. (Especially now that society has fallen, wtf) They'd make their exit alone and unannounced aside from a brief head’s up to Gabe. It's slightly bittersweet, but also? They get to loot and hunt and sneak around and kill fucking zombies, all by themself. Kile is a loner, a hiker, and a hunter to begin with so they do beyond fine on their own. However, once the inevitable violent human threat comes for the settlement, Gabe is sent out to convince Kile to come out of isolation, just this once please, to be the camp’s super soldier help defend the camp.

Zed weapon: p much anything they can get their hands on, ranged or melee, blunt or sharp, w/e; improvised weapons

Human weapon: hunting knife

Faith in humanity: never had any to begin with

Zombie kill count: lol infinite?? any zed they come across is double-dead if they have the time for it

Human kill policy: at Gabe’s direction or when provoked enough/threatened

Survival rating: A-; they trust no one, live in isolation, and prioritize survival above all else. only reason it’s not higher is they would risk their life for Gabe or their furbaby and also... their own Rambo-esque antics def attracts the occasional horde lmao

- - -

Jack... this poor boy, he doesn't deserve a zombie au 😂 He's one of those people that first believes zombies are just sick people, too squeamish to keep up with TV news coverage at the onset and too upset to consider anything else. He'd hunker down at home, staying holed up even while his neighbors evacuated, and probably be discovered while the main group is looting the same place as him. When people try to tell him the real state of the world, he'd be in denial until he absolutely couldn't be anymore. idk, probably after Kile shooting a bunch of non-lethal holes thru a zombie to make a point (attracting more in the process lol).

He’d almost immediately join the medical team at the settlement and as word spreads about how easy he is to talk to, he quickly becomes the literal on-site therapist. It's a role he embraces but... idk if it's an emotional burden he can bear. He's very emotionally resilient! But he ain't a professional lol imagine a whole settlement of traumatized zombie survivors seeking you out for counseling, yikes. He also can't say no to a person in need, so instead he quietly spirals into a very private depression while continuing to help others!!

Zed weapon: Oh gosh, do I really have to?

Human weapon: ...Kindness?

Faith in humanity: Unrealistically high

Zombie kill count: Single digit

Human kill policy: Not ever, unless completely unavoidable and to defend the defenseless

Survival rating: C...? idk, that feels generous. D+. To be protected at all costs!!

- - -

Jessie also had the initial reaction of hoping zombies could be saved, but she woke up from that dream swiftly. The science-minded person that she is, esp with her interest in biology, leaves her determined to find anybody who's got the intellect, expertise, and resources to start doing actual work toward a treatment, cure, vaccine—anything. Nothing would get her to finally unabashedly embrace her love of science (and innate leadership skills!!) faster than a zombie apocalypse! In fact, it’s thanks to her that the Emerson settlement’s got a small but growing team of scientists doing as much research as humanly possible to best educate the others on the outbreak and zombie behavior. Def no zombie experimentation going on though lol. ...Not yet, at least.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: rifle

Faith in humanity: High! We’ll find a solution! Don’t give up hope!

Zombie kill count: Double digits, but less than 30

Human kill policy: Only in unavoidable self-defense or defense of others

Survival rating: B! She has experience with ranged weapons, farming and gardening skills, first aid, camping experience, and a can-do attitude with a healthy dose of realism!

- - -

Rain remains cargo as I said in the last post about this 😆 They'd be very good for keeping clothes repaired and making useful modifications in the settlement, but their life up to this point has been very sheltered and privileged. We're talking somebody with a chauffeur and a personal chef before the outbreak! They would contribute to quality of life and homemaking efforts more than anything—an overlooked aspect of these scenarios tbh! After as many months of dragging their feet as possible and being nigh impossible to track down when you need them, they eventually become involved in meal planning and even help out with medical stuff if they're asked.

Zed weapon: how do you reload this thing again?

Human weapon: switchblade or other concealable sharp-pointy

Faith in humanity: Very low

Zombie kill count: 0! Can you believe it!

Human kill policy: Well if it’s you or me, of course I’m choosing me.

Survival rating: C. Being so tiny helps them find good hiding spots and their self-preservation is high enough to keep them from unnecessary risk-taking. Plus they're very stealthy! Self-defense is a major issue though, so hiding is always their best option.

- - -

Rupan/Rohan scouts for and leads scavenging missions and is Curt's right hand on the recruitment team. The two of them together are the perfect combo of diplomacy, debate, and deception--although R is more honorable about the last one and will only deceive for strategic reasons. When they aren’t looting and recruiting, they’re doing peacekeeping inside the settlement. Most social disputes end up getting brought to them for mediation and they’re pretty dang good at making and enforcing calls. One day they’ll wake up to realize they’ve basically become a sheriff and feel the need to puke their guts up and do something, anything, to reassure themself they’re still punk 😂

Zed weapon: SMG

Human weapon: shotgun

Faith in humanity: Believes in fundamental goodness but knows better than to trust first impressions

Zombie kill count: decent, more than 40; you won’t catch them having a field day tho, they’re trying to gtfo of most zed situations

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. And they aren’t, at all, immune to a revenge rampage either...

Survival rating: B-. Can handle themself both with humans and zeds but is vulnerable to hostage situations and truly difficult sentimental/interpersonal decisions!

- - -

Vivian/Vincent manages inventory and stock and they run it so efficiently it’s scary! They're the perfect pick: a hawk-eyed tyrant and tattletale 😂 Despite constantly butting heads with just about everyone on every imaginable thing, they quickly become an important part of the inner circle of decision-makers for the settlement at large. Terrible at stealth, jumpy, and squeamish at the sight of blood and gore, they literally never go on missions unless they're 100% needed for their expertise on a supply run. (They would deny all of these shortcomings are that big a problem, meanwhile R is definitely acting as their bodyguard lol.) When they do tag along, they're prone to becoming the damsel in distress. Seriously, it happens near every fucking time. It's like they just attract only the most improbable and perilous zombie attacks and hostage situations 😆

Zed weapon: shotgun

Human weapon: handgun

Faith in humanity: Medium; seeing people work together at the settlement helps restore it a bit

Zombie kill count: Double digits, under 25

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. Well, no, not by me! Get one of the ruffians to do it!

Survival rating: C-. They’d be higher if they weren’t such natural zombie bait.

- - -

Heidi is running the settlement, well-organized to the degree of actually managing to bring bureaucracy to a post-zombie apocalypse settlement 😂 People are free to come and go, but getting in if you don't live there requires trading something of value (fuel, med supplies, food, etc), temporary surrender and registry of firearms and explosives, and you gotta GTFO at the time and date specified upon entry! You can stay long-term if you contribute to the community in a tangible way—and each person admitted is approved by Heidi personally. Yes, every individual. No, she has no free time. And she is not known to be lenient with rule breakers—you want rule bending, you’ll have to go to Curt for that. People kind of hate her, but it can't be denied that she runs a tight ship. She kind of throws herself into the work to avoid the harsher reality at large and hasn't left the settlement in a long time. She's out of touch with how bad things have gotten in the wastes, but she knows better than to take reports at anything less than face value--even when she's skeptical.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: handgun; dagger

Faith in humanity: Medium. It fluctuates, honestly

Zombie kill count: Double digits, less than 20

Human kill policy: Violent threats must be taken out if they can’t be reasoned with. Spare those who surrender, eradicate those who don't, keep an eye on the newbies. Not tryin’ to nurse any vendettas around here lol

Survival rating: B. She's good with a firearm, masterful at persuasion, and savvy enough to calculate risks appropriately. Also far tougher than her prim exterior and demeanor suggests!

- - -

Curt leads the recruitment and reconnaissance teams! When a new person or group shows up in the area, Curt's the one who stalks watches them, decides if they're worth approaching, and if they should be approached with an invitation, a simple acknowledgment/announcement of their presence, or an outright armed warning to leave the area. He also keeps tabs on morale and general confidence inside the settlement, alongside R. When he isn’t leading those efforts, though, he’s flirting with settlers and squirreling his way out of manual labor and other chores. He’s also secretly growing weed at his place--don’t tell Heidi or Vi ‘cause they’ll wanna yell at him and ration it UGH.

Zed weapon: SMG, explosives

Human weapon: handgun, dagger

Faith in humanity: Pft, sorry, what now?

Zombie kill count: ...way more than you’d expect

Human kill policy: I don’t start confrontations, but I sure as fuck end them.

Survival rating: A! He’s good at playing hapless idiot when it suits him to be underestimated, good with firearms, and capable of being ruthless and decisive in life or death situations! Plus he has no qualms about ditching the settlement if he decides it’s not working out for him. Just don’t tell Heidi lol

#the rest are under the cuuuut #had to stop myself from writing too much SEVERAL times #love me a zombie apocalypse #lovely anon #answered #ROs #whoops got carried away lol #spent most of my work day finally finishing this ask because VIVA PROCRASTINATION #someone help ._.#phew #feels good to finally get it out of my system tho #now I can promptly never ever write it 😂#AUs #fave #scenarios

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monkey-network · 4 years ago

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Why Shrek IS The Best

Tastes can change, you know? And it’s less about “What’s good about this now compared to before”, more of “Why would you like this now as opposed to before”? Unless allergic, you didn’t get why dark cola or hot chips tasted bad to you as a child, but when you grow up you can come to understand and appreciate it. Shouldn’t pressure yourself, that makes things worse, but things can certainly align in helping this newfound respect you get for something you’d believe you would never want again. That really is where I stand with Dreamworks’ Shrek. As a kid, while Toy Story left me traumatized for a while, Shrek left me side-eyeing with how crass and ugly it looked and I never wanted to think of it. But, as I grew up to respect animation a lot more, 2018 was where I looked back at Shrek and soon come to understand how wrong I was and how much greatness it has that I now consider it an all time great. And with it getting inducted into the Library of Congress, I thought it was finally time to present what I see in this film. Let’s do this right with...

The SOMEBODY

Now this frame has been meme’d to death. If there’s anything iconic about this film, ‘bout the franchise as a whole, it’s the exact moment when our main character charges out of his outhouse as Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ gets going. But this honestly just says a lot about Dreamworks’ direction from its previous films where compared to Disney that’ll take their time making the setup before getting into the hype point for its lead, Shrek gets going in one minute if we don’t count the logo intro. Not even The Emperor’s New Groove, which was going for the same tone before Shrek even released, took more of it’s time with the fairy tale aspect of it in its intro. Shrek literally wipes his ass with the fairy tale aspect before giving us the SOMEBODY, all around a minute. This frame really shows that this is sticking to the Disney formula in some way because it’s wasting no time getting into it. It represents the more brisk pace Shrek has with pulling you into what it’s gonna be about. This overall frame works in its thematic and parody aspect and I’ve yet to see anything top this exact moment, not even the greatest films I’ll ever remember.

But enough about the fact that I made a whole paragraph about this one frame of the movie. Let’s dive into what I say is a piece of the heart for this film.

The Earnestness

Speaking of Disney, you probably notice that their films have some cushioning in their presentation, like they generally don’t show things with a straightforward lens; there’s some theatrics in the way their best movies present themselves. That’s not a problem, mind you, but that helped me understand how Shrek does things very differently whether you consider it parody or not. While it throws mockery at the played out conventions associated with fairy tales, especially its most subtle jab at copyright, it doesn’t full on say fairy tales are annoying and bad. Hell, the film IS a fairy tale adapted from a fairy tale about a fookin’ OGRE that can eat lightning and kills with farts. But, it’s an accurate and earnest way to view a fairy tale from a somewhat realistic lens. Let’s take Shrek’s journey for instance.

Typically, the main character would want to experience something more; explore new horizons, prove themselves, find their calling. Shrek off the bat doesn’t need or desire any of that. He’s content with his life, beside the angry mob he casually scares off, and throughout the film he’s not interested in anything else outside getting the squatters out his swamp. He happily makes a deal with the villain of the film to exile those innocent refugees off his land so he could then build a wall to keep everybody out. Bringing up Emperor’s New Groove again, Shrek and Kuzco are the few characters I know that are actively antagonistic even when they’re forced into their situation from outside forces. However unlike Kuzco that gets to be emperor again but learns humility, Shrek is in the same spot as before but learns that there are people out here that can love him for who he is. I can’t say there’s anything grand about that, but it doesn’t need to be unlike the many Disney or any film that tries to shower you with the grandest themes. The relationships Shrek has with Donkey and Fiona are the most grounded I’ve ever seen because they’re not only natural, they’re hardly dolled up with the bells and whistles made to either drum up the biggest laughs or tug the heart strings viciously. When I think about it, I honestly could see myself in Shrek. He isn’t made to be a legend, he isn’t some secret genius or lost prince, he’s just an every-man ogre that wants to live peacefully or meet SOMEBODY that doesn’t treat as someone to be feared or disgusted at. Everything Shrek says is something anybody could or would say if they were his shoes because he, and the film in general, is the most grounded without making it all distractedly meta or genre-savvy. This is generally helped by...

The Dounkaey

Everyone’s talked about how Donkey is the best confidant for Shrek and Fiona. How he’s most true to himself to where he’s the most openly musical character in the film, and how he’s the most balanced here with his comedic vs serious moments. But I gotta say it too: Donkey is one of the greatest sidekicks ever. He’s a motormouth, but is never annoying to where you wish he left the film. The couple times he is purposefully annoying, not for a joke, is when he knows Shrek isn’t being truthful. He truly gets to know Shrek on this journey, and is the character Shrek gets to capacity to actually loosen up to, so it’s fitting that he’d be the one to push Shrek when the ogre’s sounding more vague than usual. Even when he’s harshly insulted, Donkey doesn’t take it as bad as when Shrek kept trying to shut him out again in the 3rd act after the Hallejulah sequence which is the scene in every Shrek movie where’s there a super sad song because Shrek is alone and yadda ya. I’ll get to it in a bit, but he is as much responsible in providing Fiona that seed of doubt that Shrek wouldn’t love her as the ogre she is. Donkey is the greatest friend because he wants to be there for those who are okay with him being around, and while you could give and take sidekick animals in your notable films with them in it, this film really wouldn’t have happened without him. Speaking of Fiona, I won’t retread what’s been said before like with Donkey but I did want to bring up something I haven’t seen many talk about,,,

The Love for An Ogre

I’ve seen many say the scene where Shrek overhears Fiona talk about “Who could love an ugly beast?” and misinterprets that as her talking about him as a cliched or contrived downside to the film, but I feel that a defense can be made. It personally makes sense that Shrek would misinterpret that and take it personally because 1) Who else would Fiona be talking about? 2) How would he know she was talking with Donkey? 3) Why would he just barge in on her? 4) Has no one considered that this moment is parallel to when Fiona overhears Shrek’s conversation with Donkey the night before?

Fiona is very much the antithesis to Shrek’s character where she can very much be open about what she wants but is scared at the idea of anyone figuring out who she really is. She’ll gladly be gross, kick ass, eat the young of a bird she let explode, but won’t let anyone see her true face. That’s why her curse makes sense, and why Shrek would take a fondness to her despite her initial disdain of him rescuing her. Fiona’s a character where the surface level beauty is her weakness as opposed to Shrek where it’s internal. Which is why when she overhears Shrek open up to Donkey about his societal isolation, she’s soon more comfortable around him. And it’s why when she opens up to Donkey about her looks, Shrek would unfortunately take it personal enough. I ask again, why would Shrek barge in on a conversation he wasn’t aware of or who she was talking about to not take it about anything else but him when what he heard such a cut so deep, especially from a character that bears his similar issues? It also helps that Donkey was in on it, as Shrek feels reasonably betrayed by the only other person he’s come to appreciate in his life. Contrived as it seems, it’s thematically important and appropriate to the conflict of Shrek’s character and the film overall. Don’t know how this could be conveyed any other way because it adds up at least.

I just wanna know how Shrek got to Faarquard’s and back by sunrise like did he run cuz that looked like a huge distance to travel on foot but anyways...

I’m sure things could’ve worked out if Shrek knew, either by barging in that night or through Donkey, but I think it’s fitting that the climax takes place at the wedding. After Shrek and Donkey understand their friendship, after Donkey reciprocates the Dragon’s love (more ways than one), and when Shrek grasps the mistake he made to charge over to Fuccquad’s chapel, we get to...

The End

After everything, we get to the moment where Shrek and Fiona get to share their first kiss, Fiona permanently transforms into an ogre, and we get this exchange. One of my favorite exchanges in the whole film:

Shrek: “Are you all right?” Fiona: “Well yes. But I don’t understand... I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

Shrek: “But you ARE beautiful”

We don’t need any other vows to understand their relationship was built up to this. This moment where Shrek can reaffirm Fiona’s feelings of being able to be herself in every way, because she allowed him to be himself in every way before. That’s that mutual love, baby, that just gets me every time and makes this film one of the best romance stories I know as well, even when it isn’t solely about the romance. This is Shrek’s story, and there’s nothing more touching than seeing this outcast not only get another to view him as a friend, not only someone to love, but people, if only a couple, to actually wanted to get to know him. I know Shrek 2 expands on this more, and it’s considered a golden sequel, but I will always cherish the first movie for how much it tells us off the bat while appearing as a “Take That” to Disney films. This is the genesis of Shrek feeling more accepted for himself and society and it just bears so much good commentary while being a good adventure nonetheless. Like you could say this film indeed has... dimensions? “You were trying to meme about la-”

The Conclusion

Mentioning it, I always had this thought with the conversation Shrek and Donkey had of why Shrek didn’t just “be an ogre” and pillage Fuccnut’s fortress. It’s possible Shrek could’ve taken out Faarquid himself, but that would mean being the beast he knows people have shunned him for, grabbed the torches and pitchfolks for, made him feel worse for. Shrek enjoys being an ogre, but he doesn’t like how society makes him feel lesser as an ogre. That really is what the four films have been about for him and what I’ve come to appreciate about these films personally. It can be easy to love yourself even when there are others out here that stand against you, but it’s hard to consider that anyone else could love you for who you are in spite of how you try to present yourself. But if there’s anything Shrek showed me, it’s that it’s possible. There can/will be people out here who appreciate the real you, will be there as much as you want to for them, and can help you realize more about yourself as opposed to suffering to silence eternally. Generally ideal, I know, but this film in the least offered me that thought in the most balanced way possible. It’s incredible how much of a tightrope this film has in its parody and sincerity and that makes its induction in the National Film Registry and being the first ever Best Animated Award winner pretty justified all things considered.

I know this film, the character, has been a meme over the years. As Schaffrillas mentions in his video, the direction Dreamworks made because of Shrek’s success kinda turned it into a heel people clowned on because, in theory, it was nothing but a joke with the onions and the swamp and IT’S NEVER OGRE. Then again, like I said in the beginning, tastes change. I’d say with Schaff’s masterful analyses on the film series and 3GI’s Shrek Retold and Shrekfest, the perception of the film sure enough shifted like the perception of Megamind. It’s one thing for a movie to blow people away or leave them thinking it’s horrible beyond belief, it’s another to take the time to then look back and see how those feelings have changed. For Shrek, it’s a film that was able to trudge out of the meme era to be a film many consider a strong, rewatchable, and unique. Like the beauty of Spongebob, Shrek is a considered a classic because as in the times as it appeared when it released, this film actually stood on its own with the most enjoyable and meaningful timelessness, exploring the desired love for the self, that deserves to be recognized. What else can I say, people?

It’s The Best

#Shrek #dreamworks #dreamworks animation #animation #movies #cartoons #reviews #analysis #long post #Good Stuff

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gealach-in-a-misty-world · 4 years ago

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Gatecrashers Interview with Leah Williams - Highlights on Akihiro

Gatecrashers: How do you think Daken’s relationship with his papa bear Wolverine informs the character in the present day? Leah: I think it’s a lot better than it has been in ages past, because Krakoa is a place that provides --- their survival needs and fulfillment needs are being taken care of first --- so I think that Krakoa is a really healthy environment for a lot of people with difficult backgrounds, like Daken or Aurora or Polaris, to finally explore themselves and their relationships with other people, and really start to self-actualize. So, I would say that Daken and Wolverine are not close, but they are open to the potential for now, which is a new thing.

Gatecrashers: With characters like Daken, who are working through some past trauma and even their own sins, we see art as a major coping mechanism in your writing. Do you think characters like Quentin (Mysterio, NdT) and Daken are expressing their own self-worth through creation? Leah: Daken’s relationship with art is still probably [laughs] in his head he thinks that he is a very gifted killer [laughs] I do not think he has the same kind of relationship with art that Quentin does, I think that when we see him sketching on his wall, it’s more like a hobby kind of thing, because he’s like ninety years old, he is old, and has been around since the 1940s, I think was when he was born, so I imagine over the years he has picked up some underappreciated skills such as charcoal sketching, and he’s got a good eye, a steady hand, so of course he’s going to have some innate ability in this arena, but I don’t think he’s at a place yet where he feels comfortable expressing himself through art --- I think this is one of the things he’s learning about himself right now, he’s still kind of relying on his old habits of... I don’t even know how to call it... He doesn’t care what other people think of him, but he also doesn’t care to correct people when they make snap judgments about him, like, he gets slut-shamed a lot in the first three issues of X-Factor, and it’s not gonna get addressed until X-Factor #7, it’s the first time that he actually speaks up about how it makes him feel, because Daken is not a “talk about my feelings” kind of person, he just has never had that kind of life, and it has a lot to do with the way that he was groomed into being a killing machine, as he was a kid, so these are things he’s discovering about himself very slowly now, and he’s not even yet concerned with the need to prove his worth to the world --- he’s not there yet.

Gatecrashers: From @lucario2405 on Twitter “Two Daken questions: How do you handle his two names? He is widely known only as Daken and most characters & profiles use that, but in #6 Northstar calls him Akihiro. Given his traumatic history with both names which does he personally prefer? Why does he sleep in a guest room?” Leah: So going back to what we were talking about earlier, in terms of Daken’s self-actualization and the fact that he’s, you know, for the first time thinking about these things, I think his name is very much going to become an aspect of this. It’s a name that he chose out of rage and spite, back when it was a slur being used against him and his mixed-race background, but it is different now, asking somebody to call you by this chosen name when it could also be making them uncomfortable. We know he’s anestetised to it and it doesn’t have the same meaning to him than it did once when it was being used to hurt him: he has reclaimed this, it’s canon, it’s something he did as a fuck you. It is a different situation now, when it’s not being used as a fuck you, it is being used as his mutant name. So the opportunity to re-evaluate that and kind of take a look at it and being like, “Is this really the legacy that I want?”, is for sure a part of his Krakoan journey, he’s figuring out all of these things in relation to himself. He’s never had the kind of peace where he can ask himself these questions and take a look inwards at himself and his feelings. But he has that now. And for the other question, the guest room question, both he and Aurora were treated as “temporary crushers” at the Boneyard, so they’re both inhabiting the two guest rooms, taking over these spaces as their own, except in Daken’s case it’s because Northstar and Lorna didn’t trust him and they just assumed he would get bored and leave and flake out.

Gatecrashers: Terrible roomate habits? Leah: Daken is very clean, fastidious about cleanliness.

#daken #daken akihiro #akihiro #leah williams #xfaqtor #gatecrashers #sooo unless Leah got confused... that slut-shaming thing is going to get addressed next week!#really glad about that #loved the bit about Akihiro's name too!

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bthump · 4 years ago

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What do you think about the point in the story we are at now? Would you say you like the direction Miura is going in or not? What are the things you dislike about Berserk as it is now?

lol this is hard to answer because it’s so heavily dependent on what happens next. I think we’re at a point where everything could start coming together in a way that really appeals to me or where everything could just fall apart and I’ll have to accept that this is no longer a story I’m particularly interested in.

Though I am slightly leaning towards the former right now, whether that’s based on real evidence or mostly blind optimism I’m not entirely sure lol.

Basically I think it’ll depend on a) whether Moonlight Boy becomes a major motivational plot point or turns out to be more of a red herring or brief inciting factor in the shift to a new arc, and b) whether Guts and the rpg group overcome the imminent challenge they’ll face thanks to their personal growth and friendship or whether it’ll fuck them up.

But the reasons I’m feeling tentatively optimistic right now are:

all the foreshadowing re Guts losing himself to the armour and wreaking some havok, which has to happen at some point lbr

fetus as the focal point of Casca’s traumatic memories and symbolizing her thorn-covered heart, which to me screams sacrifice material, which would be the only thing that could make it time sharing Griffith’s body interesting to me (ie what happens to Griffith if it’s sacrificed?)

I’m gonna link this post because I’m still mostly feeling the basics of this theory, ie Skull Knight and Elfhelm in cahoots plotting to use the behelit to entrap the godhand, at Guts and Casca’s expense. Plus another possible way for Moonlight Boy to come to nothing is if it’s a manipulation of Danann’s.

I think Guts is purposefully being written as emotionally distanced from the rpg group, which is a good sign for the power of friendship not saving him yet, and there are also aspects of Guts+rpg group that parallel Griffith+Hawks in the golden age (eg Farnese’s feelings for Guts being paralleled to Casca’s feelings for Griffith, Guts gaining followers who compare him to fire, etc) which also gives me hope that tragedy will strike.

Miura’s little bait and switch wrt Guts and Casca’s relationship that honestly felt like gentle mockery of people who wanted them to immediately get together lol. Yk Casca getting sent out in a pretty dress to meet Guts complete with romantic double page spread and having a breakdown, then changing into pants and cutting her hair and saying how much better it is, and not being able to look at Guts now.

Also more recently, Guts at a loss now that he’s brought Casca’s sanity back and it didn’t actually solve any of his issues. “The hell do I do now?” “You have reached the end of your journey. It is not always a happy thing.” I’ve been worried for a while that Guts’ complex issues have been dropped and we’re meant to see him taking Casca to Elfhelm as him genuinely growing past them, and that one moment was such a huge relief when I read it lol. It really suggests to me that this sidequest was always about Guts trying to find a distraction to avoid dealing with his actual issues (fear/trauma, insecurity, love/hate feelings for Griffith, regret, etc), and those are going to make a return sooner rather than later.

Miura implying in interviews that we’re not all that close to the end, so there’ll probably be at least one more arc after Elfhelm, which gives me more hope that this whole rpg arc will lead to some amount of narrative-shaking tragedy and we’ll get some interesting stuff after.

this parallel with the climax of the Millenium Falcon arc and my firm belief that it has to come full circle.

other stuff like complex apostle characters, the lost chapter worldbuilding, schierke suggesting that her elemental guardians are holy see angels alongside implications that holy see angels are the godhand. Basically my hopes for worldbuilding that doesn’t boil down to good spirit world vs evil spirit world.

all the little suggestions that NGriff isn’t as emotionless as he’d like to be that have nothing to do with a demon fetus giving a shit about its parents

So I guess my answer is that I do like the direction I hope Miura’s going in, but there’s also enough counter evidence that I may be wrong about that direction.

So some of the things I dislike about Berserk now are:

Moonlight Boy and the Fear that he will derail everything and the plot will soon revolve around, idk, Guts and Casca trying to free their kid’s soul bringing them closer together or some awful shit like that.

Moonlight Boy and the Fear that Miura is actually going to ignore the absolutely incredible foundation he wrote in the Golden Age to support the hints of Griffith’s current capacity for emotion in favour of pinning it all on a magic baby.

I have some lowkey fears that Guts “bleeding” for Casca is gonna be a thing, largely based on me recently re-reading the scene where Farnese gets upset about everything Guts has done for her while bathing her. Like yk, maybe Casca will remember Guts saving her and warm up to him... tho in all honesty I can’t actually think of an example of Guts being the one to save her post-Eclipse lmao, he fucks it up every time. Maybe when he first put on the armour and killed an apostle in front of her or w/e, yk. Some shit like that. Like I can come up with 50 counter arguments but those only work if you accept the basic premise that Berserk will be good, yk?

The fear that we are meant to understand that Guts has overcome most of his flaws throughout the Millenium Falcon/Fantasia arcs and will get a big moment to demonstrate that and overcome the armour or save Casca or whatever.

And less speculatively and more generally, like many people I’m not a fan of the current art style, I think the larger cast on Guts’ side is causing some poor writing and not helping the pacing issues (and tbh I think Berserk is paced fairly well up until the boat stuff), I don’t like the lighter more comedic tone right now bc I got into Berserk for the grimdark vibe and tragedy and characters succumbing to their fatal flaws and making huge mistakes and I miss that a lot. I’m not saying Berserk can’t be light and funny and campy but I prefer that Black Swordsman or Conviction Arc style where it’s offset by a lot of fucked up shit, or Golden Age style where there’s an underlying sense of dread bc we already know shit’s going to go wrong, yk? If shit does get dark soon I might end up being a lot less critical of the current tone on re-read tbf.

So basically to sum up:

hopes: tragedy, character flaws that haven’t been dealt with yet coming home to roost, Moonlight Boy becomes a non-issue.

fears: power of friendship staves off tragedy, slower gtsca romance, moonbaby affects plot and emotions, guts’ flaws get brushed under the rug instead of fucking him over

I can argue that the former makes a lot more sense than the latter, but I’ve been burned a lot in my life and I know a lot of fans would argue the latter makes more sense than the former so yk, everyone has their biases including me and idk how blinded I am by those biases lol.

Anyway ty for asking!

#Anonymous #a #ask #theme: speculation #theme: critique #arc: f #theme: opinion

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Strings”

Happy Saturday, RWBY friends! I am, quite obviously, going to dive into the recap in just a moment, but first I wanted to take a short detour to discuss the elephant in the tumblr room. Namely, Supernatural.

For those of you out of the loop, the tl;dr is that a fifteen year, beloved show ended with a truly horrendous finale. Specifically, the finale rejected everything that the show had been building towards: the logical conclusion to character arcs, the theme that “family don’t end in blood,” the potential for a queer romantic relationship… I could go on. The point I want to make is that the fandom had every reason to believe we’d be getting these things. This isn’t a case of fans upset that the finale didn’t go the way they wanted as an individual viewer, but rather that the finale didn’t go the way the show clearly and explicitly said it would. It’s not an exaggeration to say that in many respects, viewers were straight up lied to.

(I recommend reading the reviews.)

What does this all have to do with RWBY? Well, I can’t help but think that history is repeating itself. Certainly there are some notable similarities between the two series. Both have long, meandering plotlines with no clear end in sight (though I hope RWBY doesn’t reach the 15 Volume mark…). Both began with a small, core cast, but quickly expanded—generating the expectation that these now equally important characters will be given their due. Both have moved from the small conflict of fighting everyday monsters to a god-based mythology. Both have a popular queer relationship dangled in front of the viewers, featuring scenes where they’re “obviously” in love… but will it ever be confirmed? Both have a fanbase that says loudly and confidently that the writers know what they’re doing. Just wait! It’s all been planned! We’ll be rewarded for our patience and soon all the naysayers will be proven wrong.

Thing is, the Supernatural fandom wasn’t rewarded. Right up until a week ago those fans—myself included—had faith that the writers knew what they were doing because they can’t really be that out of touch with their own story...right? It’s not possible. Yet they were, it was, and now that I’ve gotten solid proof of precisely how far a show can go to reject its own logic, themes, and premise, that just makes me more wary of RWBY’s mistakes. Before I had a solid faith that things couldn’t possibly get that bad, that no matter how much RWBY might be messing up in the short term, it will undoubtedly pull it together overall, because what show wouldn’t? Especially a show with such promise and, at times, wonderful storytelling. Well, Supernatural didn’t manage it and frankly I’m not sure what to do with that information.

Seriously. I don’t have any grand conclusion here. It’s not my intention to suggest that anyone should stop watching RWBY, or to claim that it will absolutely fail because Supernatural did. Obviously, we don’t know what will happen until we get to see it in the show. I only want to acknowledge these parallels and the similar journey I see both fanbases on. I can’t help but wonder if, a couple years from now, RWBY fans will be making incredibly optimistic posts about how it’s all coming together, just have some faith, everyone who says that the group won’t get a satisfying ending, or Blake and Yang won’t be confirmed are just mean trolls… only to wake up that Saturday morning and get another metaphorical slap in the face.

It’s something to think about.

But here I’ve spent a page talking about the wrong show. Let’s get into the episode!

We open on a black screen with lots of ambiguous noises. At first I thought this was Oscar struggling in the Hound’s grip or something, but then I remembered that RWBY likes to insert an episode between cliffhangers. I watched Ironwood (presumably) shoot a guy and he only came back this week (though that question still isn’t answered. At this point I kind of wonder if it will be). Oscar was kidnapped last week, which means we won’t get to see him until next week. Or… two weeks from now? RT skips the week of Thanksgiving, don’t they? Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Something horrible happens to Oscar and we need to wait two weeks to find out how it’s resolved.

Watch him escape the Hound off screen and return to the group with a new outfit 😂

So it’s not Oscar we hear, but Ruby, the last one coming out of the tube. Weiss is in the process of pulling Nora’s ear for that stunt… with a frankly strange looking hand. What’s up with RWBY animating weird hands lately? I’m pretty sure that’s not how anatomy works.

Anyway, Nora counters that this was a “Once in a lifetime experience,” but they were all going to go through the tubes regardless. Weiss isn’t pissed that you sent her through, she’s pissed that you did it unexpectedly when she was alone, heading into enemy territory. But of course, there’s no one in the room to hinder them, so the mistake is meaningless.

We’re setting the tone again though. For the first half of this episode everything is sunshine and giddy adventure, which doesn’t fit the situation at all. It also creates emotional whiplash when I’m suddenly supposed to be super worried about things later on. This sort of about-face works once in a blue moon, as an emotional punch, like we see in Mulan:

But RWBY does it every other episode, which makes the overall tone of the series confusing instead. Half the time RWBY feels like two different stories—the cartoony tale of girls going on fun adventures, and the traumatic tale of a fantasy war—that have been badly spliced together.

“Alight, Robo-Girl, which way?” May asks and Penny demonstrates why she’s the best for sneaking into a facility. She’s able to map out the whole place, including seeing where everyone is so they can avoid detection. Kudos to RT for going this route. I was worried that they would have Ruby and the others straight up attacking Atlas grunts, knocking them out/potentially even killing them because who cares, right? They’re the bad guys! So I’m glad they’re working to get in and out undetected. Granted, we see in some places that they’re clearly willing to fight the soldiers if it comes to that—they’re reaching for their weapons when Penny opens the final door, expecting the room to be full of people. They were going to attack—but at least they’re trying to lessen that conflict as much as possible. That’s the sort of choice I expect to see from heroes and I’m glad we got it here.

After scouting the area Penny corrects May: “And my name is Penny,” to which Ruby gives a satisfied “Heh.” I’ve got no problem with Penny rejecting nicknames, even potentially well-meaning ones, because she’s always struggled with her status as a real girl and her name is her own. She gets to decide what others call her. I do, however, have a problem with making the presumed trans character the one who is corrected. Granted yes, we haven’t gotten confirmation in the show that May is trans, but RT doesn’t get to cash in on that rep without likewise suffering the consequences for how the character is treated. You’re telling me that a trans woman is going to roll her eyes when someone asks her to use a specific name? Please give May flaws, yes, she’s a person, but out of all the millions of flaws across the human spectrum, this is the one we’re shown?

Not to mention Ruby’s continued attitude. It’s like, ‘Yeah, May. Stop being a horrible person who draws attention to the fact that Penny is a robot. I never did that.’ Except when Ruby first met her she didn’t know Penny was a robot. Just like she didn’t know Blake was a faunus—something we’re reminded of this episode. We might assume Ruby wouldn’t have ever made any missteps at the beginning of these relationships, but the fact remains that she got to know both girls before their minority status was ever revealed. Ruby loved them before she ever had to grapple with their differences.

Put in her place, May then demonstrates that she can make lots of people invisible, not just herself. That’s handy. She creates an invisibility bubble that reminds me of Harry’s invisibility cloak. In the sense that others might not be able to see you, but they can still hear and touch you, which makes sneaking around still pretty challenging.

No sooner have I thought that then two guards get into the elevator with them. The group keeps quiet as the duo discusses how no one can get close to Salem’s storm without “getting shocked right out of the air.” Interesting. And frankly one hell of a roadblock if the Hound escapes into the clouds. Oscar may be gone for a while if he doesn’t escape on his own... The woman also comments about how creepy it is that all the grimm are just hanging out, waiting. It’s “worse than if they’d attacked.”

No it’s not! RT, stop trying to implement the idea that Salem withholding her forces is some epically cool choice. She should have decimated everyone by now and the fact that she hasn’t just shows how transparent the problem is: you’ve created a villain that’s too powerful and now you don’t know what to do with her.

As the group sneaks out of the elevator Nora grins and presses all the buttons, which is, as expected, a dumb move. They’re supposed to be sneaking into this base. If they’re caught they’re going to be thrown in jail at best, killed at worst, but Nora wants to risk that for a practical joke? Again and again we see this insistence on incorporating comedy where it’s not only unnecessary, but actively interferes with other aspects of the scene.

Reaching a terminal, Penny inserts her finger and gains access via Pietro’s credentials. She’s really demonstrating this episode why she’s… pretty terrifying? I mean, Penny is an incredibly powerful fighter with a computer’s view of the world, access to everything in the most powerful Kingdom alongside its information, and she now has Maiden powers to boot. Which, I should add, it took her one fight to master (because remember, the heroes are now always as strong as they need to be to win…). Now that Watts is planning to hack her, I expect her to be an incredibly formidable enemy, just given the amount she could potentially do. I think Penny herself is too kind to exploit all that potential and as we’ll see via Pietro briefly taking control, she doesn’t always have the knowledge to use the tools at her disposal. But in the hands of someone like Watts? He’ll turn Penny into the ultimate weapon.

Access granted, they learn that they have to go “Right through central command!” Of course, Penny makes it sound like a fun game and the spy-movie music/cartoon lecture doesn’t help. Again, tone. It’s adorable! It just doesn’t fit sneaking into a military base with your lives on the line while Salem waits outside. That was a RWBY Chibi moment.

Penny explains—twice—that Ruby can use her semblance to fly them all through central command and it’s treated like a revelation. At first, I was pretty confused because Ruby has been dong this for ages? She carried Weiss in “Argus Limited” and Nora during the Geist fight. But upon close inspection, what Penny seems to have “figured out” is that Ruby can carry multiple people at once because the “mass doesn’t matter.” Okay. Not a contradiction then, though I think RT could have made it a little more clear that Ruby was shocked at the idea of carrying multiple people, not carrying someone at all.

What I do take issue with though is Ruby mastering this skill instantaneously. I mean, why is Ruby being forced to try this on the fly (pun not intended)—Penny has known the layout of the building since they made this plan. She knew they had to get past central control and that it would be packed with people. She’s obviously thought about Ruby’s semblance a great deal—and why is she succeeding? Give me a Volume 7 where Ruby actually trains in this technique, set up via Harriet’s comment early on about her semblance, and then she’s victorious here when it finally matters. Or give me Ruby assuming she can pull off this incredibly difficult skill only to fall out of her semblance halfway through, a roomful of Atlas personnel staring at them. Then what?

Not this.

This is a character who does everything perfectly on the first try without ever having to fail. Ruby is boring like this.

Crisis averted, we transfer to Ironwood who is… working with Watts.

What else is there to say? I’ve already laid out all the reasons why this is stupid and makes no sense. Others keep coming onto my posts to explain to me how Ironwood’s awful deeds up until now fully show his decent into villainy, conveniently ignoring the numerous limitations he was under and his choice to do what he thought was best for the world using inaccurate information. Ironwood was always a divisive character and many are happy to ignore the years’ worth of deconstruction done—a man who looks like the Evil Military General but actually isn’t—because they never liked him to begin with. Not liking him is fine, no one has to like any character, but I’m honestly shocked by the number of viewers who refuse to acknowledge how bad the writing is, even if it means defending a character they hate a teensy tiny bit (#SupernaturalVibes). As a friend put it, Ironwood now feels like a caricature of his former self, a Pure Evil Ironwood who appeared out of nowhere and is now here to stay. He shoots kids. He shoots unarmed civilians. He teams up with Salem’s men and tries to hack Penny. These are undeniably horrible acts, they’ve just been given to a character who never would have done them until RT randomly flipped the Evil switch.

The “RWBY” tag, alongside all the fluff moments of this episode, is now filled with posts encouraging Marrow to turn, yelling at the Ace Ops for being “bootlickers,” and capslock screaming at anyone who dared to speak up for Ironwood. It still sucks to have bad writing twisted into an attack on the fans and it’s going to continue to suck until at least the rest of Volume 8. I’d like to again remind everyone that Qrow teamed up with Tyrian a few episodes, yet because he’s again in Ruby’s graces, that was twisted into a ‘not that bad’ situation. The issue isn’t really that Ironwood is teaming up with one of Salem’s subordinates, but that he’s doing it to go against RWBYJNOR… the second a character teams up with Salem to get what Ruby wants (to not have her team in jail) then that’s totally fine… but that’s a wrinkle a lot of people are happy to ignore.

So yeah, Ironwood is an idiot now too. Like Qrow also was last Volume. He really thinks Watts isn’t going to betray him somehow? Although, I do wonder if the chance to ruin Pietro’s creation outweighs his loyalty to Salem, but the point is that Ironwood can’t be sure of that either. At least he’s smart enough to keep Watts under continuous guard. He puts his hand on Watts’ shoulders and goes, “I’d hate for us to have to try motivating you. Again.”

So he tortures people too now? Like I said, caricature. This was Ironwood and we were given no clear idea of where he disappeared to.

RIP a great character.

Watts notices though that Pietro has apparently accessed a secure area and alerts Ironwood to it. I laugh that the information is just ¡EMERGENCY! In large, red letters. Ironwood immediately makes an announcement for everyone to be on guard. It’s a level 3 lockdown — that won’t impede the group leaving via airship! — and they’re to use “lethal force” if necessary. Weiss is disgusted.

As much as I disagree with making Ironwood into a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy — he’s definitely wrong to be doing this — I also find myself rolling my eyes at reactions like that. Yes, Weiss. You attacked four operatives until they were knocked unconscious. Prevented an entire city from escaping Salem’s wrath, endangering them all. Now you’re breaking into the most classified room in the Kingdom to steal an equally qualified project and use it for your own means. There’s no reason why Ironwood would level his might against you. Is death still an extreme response? Yes. Should Weiss be acting like Ironwood is crazy for responding to them in an extreme manner? No. Her remark makes it sound like Ironwood is attacking her poor, innocent, defenseless team… not the team that’s been lying to him, betraying him, attacking him, and stealing from him. Not the team carrying deadly weapons into a facility to take what they want at any cost.

With their presence known, May wants to go grab an airship. That’s the series now.

Meanwhile, Penny insists that they can still complete their mission and we see Nora come up with some sort of plan.

Except, what plan was this?? What did she say to the group? ‘Hey, let’s wait around until some guy conveniently walks by with a full cup of coffee. Then we can trip him and the mug will fly alllll the way across this gap to land on a terminal, startling at least two workers. Except this guy will be hated by the whole room because he’s always messing things up—his coffee mug has been changed from #1 Dad to #1 Dud—so that this little mishap will create a ruckus that gets everyone involved, giving us the opportunity to slip by them all.’

Seriously, what? This kind of “plan” only works with someone like Clover, where we know he has a good luck semblance and thus all these unlikely pieces fall into place. I could absolutely buy Clover smiling smugly, working under the knowledge that he just has to wait around a few minutes and something will come along that works entirely in his favor. But Nora? How did she know any of this would happen? Obviously she couldn’t have, so what exactly was their intention if this coffee carrying, hated guy didn’t show up? RWBY, your contrived plots are showing.

I do, however, love the grimm Jaws poster. Jaws is an absolute favorite of mine, so seeing a reference to it in RWBY? A funny one at that? It almost makes up for how bad this episode is lol.

Because frankly I’m bored. The group sneaks around, criticizes May and Ironwood, briefly confuses me about Ruby’s semblance knowledge, and gets through tons of Atlas personnel in the stupidest way possible. I have to watch this guy running out of the room with coffee on his pants screaming, “WHHHYYY???” and he doesn’t notice the five girls standing right next to him. It’s silly. It’s boring. Luckily for RWBY, things are about to pick up in the second half.

After Ruby gets them upstairs and the final room is also conveniently devoid of people, Pietro takes control of Penny—including yellow possession eyes like Oscar has with Ozpin—and he...gets Amity started. That’s it. After a whole volume of ‘It’s not finished yet’ and ‘We barely have the resources’ and ‘Robyn stole what we were using to do idek what with’ he presses buttons for a while and they’re in. How good for them!

I do love that Penny calls Pietro “Dad” though. I’m here for the android-father relationship.

While Pietro works we turn to Blake, Weiss, and Nora. Blake tries to convince the audience that Ruby and Yang had an actual fight with, “I’ve never seen Yang and Ruby fight like this.” Yeah, because no one in this group has ever said the sliiiiightest thing against Ruby, so you all read the tinniest disagreement as a “fight” to be worried about. I mean, doesn’t RT have friends to draw inspiration from? They’ve never disagreed about Huge and Complex Questions before? Never gotten pissed and then shrugged it off the next time you want to text? RWBY’s idea of a diverse friend group feels like many other writers’ idea of a sibling relationship: anyone with an actual sibling goes, “What is this?” Speaking of, Weiss explains that sisters often have “very different ideas about what’s right” as if, again, people don’t have different ideas? Just in general? Why is this suddenly a sister thing? She’s clearly thinking about Winter, but doesn’t actually bring it up, so all we’re left with is the same situation we had last Volume. Weiss thinks she’s right, Winter is wrong, and they’re just going down their separate roads because there’s definitely no reason to re-examine any choices here. It’s all static.

Until Winter betrays Ironwood, of course.

Nora tries to reassure Blake that the group will be fine (ha) even though they’ve split, the irony being that we, the audience, know they just got wrecked by the Hound. Jaune is a great leader though, Oscar has grown so much, Yang could defend them all in a fight, and Ren… well, she can’t think of anything to say about Ren. I hate the Nora is acting like Ren has drawn away from her for no reason, after she chose to kiss him—without consent—rather than listening to what was bothering him, then proceeded to pretend that this mystery problem never existed. What does she expect? I do, however, like the general acknowledgement that she doesn’t know who she is without Ren. Who is Nora? Someone who is “strong and hit[s] stuff?”

See, this feels like RT writing self-consciously because Nora doesn’t have much of a personality. Oh, on a surface level she’s bursting with it, but past the bubbly exterior? That single layer? We can add maybe one thing to this “Likes Ren, is strong, hits stuff” list: she’s funny. That’s it. Anything else we might add like “she’s loyal” or “she’s kind” is just a generic characteristic of this entire team. They’re all meant to be crazy talented good guys and even the “is strong” aspect is suspect when others frequently pull off attacks as showy as Nora’s hammer hits. So who is she? What are Nora’s dreams? What are her hobbies? Her fears? Her history? We’ve seen a single flashback of her on the streets and one scene back at Beacon where she listens to music and reads a magazine. Seven years worth of material and that’s it. There’s a reason why the go-to, non-combat action for Nora in fics is “makes pancakes.” We know so little about her still.

So I was excited for a brief, shining moment. Yes! Explore who Nora is outside of being strong and hitting stuff! … and then her big action this episode is, as she says, being strong and hitting something. Don’t get me wrong, outside of that setup it’s pretty epic. I like Nora going to those lengths to save Penny and I absolutely love the repercussions of the choice: a broken aura, passing out, and badass lightning scars all over her arms and neck (especially when women often aren’t allowed to accumulate scars in visual media). That’s pretty damn awesome. It’s just that it comes on the heels of the story insisting that Nora is more than this, that we’ll learn something new about her… and we haven’t. This is indeed cool, but we already knew that Nora was willing to crazy lengths by hitting things really hard. That’s already her established norm.

At least this moment has some really nice characterization alongside the stupidity. The conversation between Ruby and Penny is just plain stupid. Penny wants to stay to help with the evacuations, but Pietro says she should come with him in Amity. Why? As Ruby says, because then she’ll be up in the sky and Salem won’t be able to access the relic.

That’s what Ironwood wanted to do! We could have had this conflict episodes ago with you all working with him! I really can’t with this cast. Also, the rest of this is still confusing. I thought pretty much everyone was in the slums by now, so what evacuation are they talking about? Do they plan to evacuate everyone in Mantle out of the kingdom somehow… like Ironwood wanted to do with Atlas? And why are they acting like Amity is evacuating some people too? I thought they were just using it as a communication device? To add insult to injury, Ruby then contradicts herself a minute later when she tells Harriet that Ironwood can’t have the relic because “Salem will find her way to the relic no matter where you go.” Ruby, if Salem can access the relic high in the sky she can also access Penny in the sky. If you believe that literally nowhere is safe then why are you sending Penny away under the claim that she—and via her the Relic—will be safer? If you want Penny in Amity to lessen the chance of Salem getting the Relic, why can’t Penny be in Atlas while simultaneously (hopefully) getting a whole slew of people to safety?

I’m continually confused by this “plan” of theirs. Their claims just flip-flop according to what (supposedly) contrasts them with Ironwood. Even though that’s not actually the case.

Penny is me, sad while watching this train wreck of a scene.

So yeah, the Ace Ops are here. I’ve wondered since the trailer why Weiss looked smug while everyone else was startled. Turns out it’s because of her line, “So, your first time losing to us wasn’t enough?” I can’t express how much I dislike all the girls’ personalities now. I want to shake some compassion and humility into them. Plus, they never should have won that fight in the first place. Marrow yells, “We were holding back!” but coming from the team’s weakest member it reads as defensive. Like we’re supposed to go, ‘Lol yeah right, Marrow. Just admit you got your ass kicked,’ even tough the Ace Ops should have wiped the floor with them, holding back or not. That’s my biggest takeaway from this fight: it’s the reverse of what we should have gotten. The Ace Ops should have beaten Team RWBY with ease and struggled greatly against an android Maiden, not falling before a bunch of teens and succeeding against Penny if not for Nora’s timely breakthrough. Your half-trained cast of growing heroes should not come across as more powerful than an intelligently designed weapon now wielding magic.

Before the fight starts we get a whole lot of lines that are, frankly, frustrating. Vine tells Penny, “I thought you were supposed to protect the people, not hurt them” which is true enough. Penny is taking action that is putting a lot of people in danger, regardless of the fact that Ruby is at the helm. Problem is, the Ace Ops then blame her for Winter’s injuries and “stealing” the power? That’s not the issue here. The issue is Penny’s blind loyalty to Ruby, but by having the Ace Ops back a stance that is clearly inaccurate—Penny didn’t cause Winter’s injuries, Cinder did; Penny didn’t steal the powers, she was encouraged to take them—it makes them come across as Very Evil people who will twist things to make poor Penny look like the villain. Even if this is a case of Ace Ops having bad intel (which seems unlikely. Wouldn’t Winter have told them what happened?) RT has avoided letting the Ace Ops take a justified stance here because that would make them look too sympathetic… even though they do have multiple justified stances to take. Like, ‘Hey, stop keeping half a kingdom here where Salem can easily kill them all’ or, ‘Hey, why did you spend months betraying Ironwood and then turn on us instead of trying to find a compromise?’ Even, ‘Why did your uncle help kill our leader?’ There’s plenty that the Ace Ops should be rightfully pissed about, so choosing Penny and Winter out of everything feels like RT is firmly backing them into Ironwood’s corner: you’re just bad now and bad people blame innocent girls, rather than acknowledging the actual wrongs done against them.

So we have Ruby contradicting herself and the Ace Ops backing warped ideas that make them look worse than they actually are. Adding to the stupidity is the fact that Elm mentions that Winter is in “critical condition” and Weiss… doesn’t care. Harriet then tells Ruby that she’s “throwing [her] in jail right next to your uncle, runt” and... Ruby doesn’t care. Qrow is missing and Ruby just found out he’s been captured by Ironwood, yet there’s no reaction whatsoever. This show continues to go hard on the ‘screw adults’ mentality, huh? Ozpin needs to keep quiet and is horrible for coming back. Ironwood is now a cartoon villain. Winter made the wrong choice so no one cares about her anymore, not even her sister. The Ace Ops remain enemies despite trying to talk things out. Qrow? Barely know him. Who’s he? This is a Ruby loves Penny episode. There isn’t enough emotional nuance for her to care about him too.

The sad thing is I adore Nuts&Dolts. In a different context these moments would be a goldmine for me.

If anything, this episode feels worse than the majority of last week’s because there are good things here that have been thrown into a bad setup. I can’t get excited for the group’s battles when I see who they’re attacking. It’s hard to squee over Ruby hugging Penny when she doesn’t react to Qrow. Watching Nora go all Thor feels like it only has half its potential when it’s coming out of a very messing, ‘I’m more than just being strong and hitting things… which is why I’ll continue being strong and hitting things.’ RWBY has excellent moments set into a terrible story.

The fight, at least, is exciting. The Ace Ops goad Penny into stepping away so they can trap the rest of Ruby’s team—smart—and she’s forced to hold her own while Weiss tries to break through with her knight, then Nora overloads the system. To be frank, I’m not great at analyzing combat. Not unless I’m looking for something specific like whether a win is justified. I’ve already mentioned above the broad issue of the Ace Ops very nearly beating the most powerful fighter next to Salem herself, yet failing so spectacularly against Team RWBY. Outside of that context though? I really enjoyed this. Lots of tight action, creative attacks, teamwork, some emotional pauses throughout… it feels like a pretty solid battle. Put it on Youtube as a clip, outside of the rest of the story’s messiness, and you’ve got yourself a fantastic watch.

We can’t stay in the combat forever though. During all this Weiss calls the Ace Ops “cowards” for making it four vs. one. You know, RWBY should really just do away with dialogue and make the show purely action because the cast frequently sounds so stupid when they speak. Like her comment about Ironwood’s lockdown… really Weiss? ‘Yes, we might be wanted criminals who betrayed this group in the worst possible way, but how dare they not do the honorable thing and have three of their teammates sit out while trying to capture us? Even though the girl they’re trying to capture has magic. I mean, the nerve of them!’

Weiss, at this point I’m not sure how to explain to you that the people you’ve made into your enemies do not owe you a fair fight.

Another detail: we get to see Ruby fall off the edge of the walkway and this time she remembers she can fly! A definite improvement from Volume 6.

Finally: by the time Penny’s eyes go full Maiden in Elm’s grip, I think we’ve seen everything from our trailer. Episode 4 will truly be a mystery.

Ironwood has, of course, been watching the fight this whole time. When it looks like the Ace Ops will lose against the team he means to send in reinforcements, but Watts says he has “a message for your operatives.” Instead of capturing Penny they steal one of her swords instead, ending with a shot on Marrow looking conflicted.

Because remember, there’s no actual moral grayness in this story. The protagonists are right and everyone else is wrong. It’s (supposedly) black and white. Which means that if the Ace Ops have any hope of surviving this Volume and being seen as anything other than evil bootlickers, they have to join with Ruby. Marrow seems primed to do that.

Am I surprised? No. Disappointed? Always lol.

May has the airship ready to go and they fly off… despite the shields. And the lockdown. Consistency? Who’s she? Nora is said to be “in bad shape” and after another hug Penny leaves to hide in Amity, even though Ruby thinks that hiding is a useless, cowardly choice. Just not when she and her allies choose to do it.

We end the episode with Watts receiving Penny’s sword and making the statement, “If you can’t beat them… then make them join you.” I have to say, his cheesy villainy is something I continue to enjoy, even if it’s heavy handed at times. Watts is just fun. I do have to say though: if Penny is hacked, what does that say about her agency? We double-downed on the ‘real girl’ narrative by giving her the Maiden powers, but she’s simultaneously synthetic enough that a single piece of her can remove all autonomy? It once again feels like RT isn’t sure what point they’re trying to make, they’re just chucking a lot of themes at the wall and seeing what sticks. Still, we’ll have to let it all play out before making any judgements.

And that’s it for this week. It seems like this is a slightly shorter recap than normal, though that may be because I struggle with discussing pure action sequences, which made up a decent chunk of this episode. I’ll no doubt return to the Ace Ops vs. Penny fight when I’m not on a self-imposed, one day deadline for posting. The only thing left is to update the Bingo Card, but I don’t think we made any headway this week. So... good job, RWBY?

I’m still going to hold off on the civilian’s square until Salem’s army actually attacks, as well as the two day timeline square.

No Winter this episode

Watts is teaming up with Ironwood which is… so much worse than him teaming up with Jacques again. Does a square get an X if the canon is even worse than what you assumed it would be??

Maria was mentioned this episode. Jury’s out on whether she’ll actually do anything.

Atlas is still standing, we knew Penny was heading towards a hack so it’s not much of a cliffhanger, no Qrow, no Ozpin, no Neo or Cinder.

It certainly looks like we can check off “The team gets Amity up and running,” but let’s just see if there are any problems next episode. If the problem is only ‘We would have launched it if not for Salem’s attack’ or something, I’m checking it off. The point is it would have worked.

I’m also leaning towards “More obvious Blake/Yang implications without confirming a relationship” given Blake’s heart-to-heart with Nora… but let’s see if the Volume does anything more egregious.

All in all (and perhaps despite what I’ve written above), I don’t think it’s fair to totally drag this episode. As said, this feels like a strong episode in a bad story, something that I would have LOVED if a) Salem weren’t here and b) the ‘ethical dilemma’ wasn’t boiled down to a ‘Team Ruby is good’ and ‘Ironwood and everyone associated with him is evil’ situation. It’s an episode whose tone and character action belong in a different version of RWBY. If you gave us this fun episode in an earlier Volume against a Pure Evil antagonist? It would have been great.

Ah well. It is what it is. Expect more emotional whiplash when we come back and everyone learns that Oscar has been kidnapped by Salem’s talking pooch 🙃

See you then! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby strings #mymetas #rwby recaps #apologies if this Recap is messier than normal #I have a zoom meeting in five minutes lol #gotta go fast!

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kookiepredictions · 4 years ago

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Jungkook Twinflame Journey: Challenges & Lessons

The general structure of the TF journey is available plenty on the web so I won’t talk about the step by step journey, rather only focus on the highlights of it, specifically the challenges they are dealing with and how to possibly overcome them. Also, as was pointed out to me earlier, it must be mentioned that these readings are timeline independent, and don’t signify when these activities are happening. This is just the overall energy of Jungkook’s TF journey and what he might have/ might be/ will facing, whenever they happen.

Also, this post is long enough to be a book lol (8.5k words when I last checked) but you gotta do what you gotta do. Happy reading :)

The first thing that jumps out is that both of them seem to be running from the connection. Both are runners, both are chasers. Jungkook is running in the 5D while his counterpart is running in the 3D. Jungkook wants to make a physical (as in 3D) relationship happen ASAP. He endlessly daydreams about being together with his DF and what he can do to make it happen. However, he is both indecisive and hesitant about taking actual action for various reasons that I will discuss later. The DF on the other hand, is running from a physical connection for reasons I will discuss later. The imbalance here is that the DF sees this as an energetic connection before anything else and wants to treat it as such, whereas Jungkook is focused on the physical manifestation of it. They’re not on the same page about how they see this connection and how they want to deal with it. Now, since a TF connection is a soul connection, it makes sense to start with the soul growth because that is what will ultimately lead to the physical manifestation of it. As I mentioned in the previous reading, Jungkook is in a stubborn “my way or the highway” kind of energy where he just wants what he wants lol. He can’t seem to understand why someone who loves him will want to stay away from him. On the surface level, this is a valid thought, but he’s not seeing, or rather refusing to see all sides of this.

The most important “earthly” blockage that gets in the way of his connection is his job. He has a lot to handle right now and he’s not, in any way, prepared to start or handle a new relationship. The irony is that he knows this. This is in fact what is making him hesitate to take action towards this connection and might I add, rightly so. His judgment and reasoning towards this connection is absolutely correct— he wants to focus on himself and his work right now and clear the unorganized mess in his life before he can bring anyone else into it. So the problem is not that he doesn’t know what to do. The problem is that he is finding it difficult to commit to this decision. He keeps swinging back and forth doubting if he has made the right choice. He keeps fearing that his decision might be wrong and he will end up losing everything he has dreamt for his future— including his DF, who he has come to value a lot right now. She is a big part of his future dreams and he fears that if she leaves, everything will start falling apart like dominoes. This is leading him to overthink this connection from every angle and feel weighed down in a way that he’s not able to take any path. He seems to be on a crossroad and really heavy with indecisive energy. And all of this is happening because he is running in the 5D— he’s running from the spiritual aspect of this connection, from the soul lessons that he needs to learn.

His DF on the other hand, sees the connection for what it is— spiritual before physical. She is in a state of complete surrender to the Universe that if they are meant to be, nothing and no one can get in the way of that. However, she also has a realistic view of it. She knows that the connection might be spiritual but the people in it are imperfect humans. She knows that the only people who can mess up this connection or stop it from manifesting in the physical are her and Jungkook. She knows how the TF connection works but most importantly, she is allowing herself to be guided by what she intuitively knows to be right. She not only has the clarity of the present situation of herself and Jungkook’s, she also has the foresight of what can go wrong in the near and far future if they rush into a connection right now. She “sees” the wounds, trauma and ego-driven behavioural patterns that both of them have and knows that unless they work on healing themselves first, their connection is no better than anyone’s else’s.

On this note, here’s something about a TF relationship: just because you are TFs doesn’t automatically mean that you both are perfect for each other. It just means that this has the HIGHEST POTENTIAL for being the best kind of relationship that anyone can ever hope to have in their lifetime. That’s what it is: a potential. Not a reality. The TF counterparts are only POTENTIALLY right for each other IF they want to make it that way. Every soul in this world has a twinflame— someone who is their most ideal, perfect match. However, when we use the term “twinflame” in discussions and articles, we only mean the twinflame counterparts who have incarnated on earth at the same time and have met, and if they have, then they will most definitely “fall in love”. However, what they then decide to do with that connection and in what direction they take it, is entirely up to them. The foundation of spirituality is free will. NOTHING is forcefully thrust upon us. We’re given complete sovereignty over how we wish to live our lives. Yes, there’s Destiny, but destiny is not a forced concept where you have no say over it. That’s not how spirituality works. Forceful subjugation is the tool of lower vibrating earthly authorities. Spirituality in its core is about freedom. Since the world is in a position of having ingested prolonged low vibrational thoughts and belief systems about love and life in general, the population at large is vibrating at these lower frequency energies. Healing these trauma and reviving our DNA to its original form takes many lifetimes. This is why even though everyone has a twinflame that was created to be their best match, the trauma we’ve incurred over generations, periods and eras, and even in the past years of our current lifetimes, have made it such that each counterpart of each twinflame pair is busy healing themselves over several lifetimes, and depending on the necessary soul contract that was undertaken, might or might not be healed and ready to meet their counterpart in each lifetime. If TFs meet their counterpart in a lifetime where they are not “healed” and behave excessively from their ego standpoint, they will face relationship problems and breakups like any other couple. Being counterparts won’t make you any special. To summarise, TF counterparts who are not healed are the exact same as any other person. In fact they can be worse, because there is an insurmountable amount of passion between them due to their soul connection, but since they haven’t learnt to “behave” like healed counterparts yet, they will end up hurting each other even more. That’s because when you meet your TF, you see how similar you both are and how this connection has SO MUCH potential to be perfect, and you start lowering your guard down, believing that this is one person in the world who will NEVER hurt you. So when you get hurt by them, it feels so much worse and painful than anyone else who has hurt you. This is why a lot of TFs who meet and fall in love before they are healed, end up with a soulmate or even a karmic or 3D partner later where they are actually happier than they were with their TFs. Also when we talk about TF Union, know that it can mean anything. It doesn’t have to mean a committed relationship or marriage. The reason being, marriages and relationships are earthly concepts. The spiritual realm doesn’t care for earthly practices at all; it only cares for earthly practices when they serve the purpose of spiritual advancement. So if a TF couple is destined to get married, that only means that their marriage is supposed to serve a spiritual cause on earth. I just remembered one of my followers kindly pointed out how rare it is for TFs to get married and I’d like to reiterate that here. It is indeed SUPER rare, because it is rare as is, to be incarnated at the same time as your TF. Spirituality is about the soul, obviously, so you’ve got to see a spiritually-rooted connection from the viewpoint of a soul, not from your earthly ego. Souls are immortal; no matter what is happening in the world, whether or not you’re dating or getting married with each other, TFs are together forever as soul units. It’s just that a soul is independent AF lol. They don’t need to always stick to each other. They let their other half do their own work/ mission on earth in one lifetime while they chill in another lifetime lol. It’s only when they know they are on the same-ish page in terms of healing from earthly traumas that they incarnate together and “plan” to meet at the right time, and when they do, fireworks lol. However, it’s still about the healing. Even after they meet. Being the kind of souls who have incarnated at the same time to be “twinflames” means that you have done enough of healing in your past lifetimes that you now have a lot more refined (less traumatic) view of love and life, than other people around you. And when I say “around you” I mean in the world. TFs who have incarnated together to meet are super rare (again, when we use the word “TF” we automatically mean the only ones who are supposed to meet). They are already born as old, highly advanced souls with thoughts, feelings and actions distinctly different from others, possibly with a great many set of talents (because they have lived several lifetimes as different people honing different skills in each lifetime— I’m reminded of the interview where Jungkook asked what had he done in his previous lifetimes to get so much love from his fans and Yoongi replied he was possibly good at everything), but most importantly, they have the desire to be better versions of themselves stronger than anyone else, because they actually are serious about their healing, even if they don’t know it consciously. They are righteous and idealistic kind of people but not in a naive way— they know the light as much as they know the darkness, because healing is about balancing both. TFs who have incarnated together are possibly living their last lifetime on earth and on the way out to Ascension but only if they do the remaining healing in their current lifetime. Because like I said before, that’s the whole point. This is why this connection, right up top, seems so powerful and deep. It’s rooted in spiritual awareness and healing past traumas. You help each other in your missions. But that doesn’t mean necessarily by being physically together. If you’re destined to be together, then you will, but if you’re not, i.e. if your mission does not include being together, then you will part ways. This seems sad and depressing (“what is the point of having/ meeting your TF if you can’t be together?”) but this is where I remind you again that this is, first and foremost, a soul connection, and no matter what happens on earth, you’re together as souls at all times. Here’s the thing though: if being apart from each other is your mission, then you will not feel sad about it. That decision will come about as a natural transition at some point in your TF journey. You both will feel that that is the right thing to do, without malice or pain in your heart, because any decision made from the soul always feels peaceful on the inside. For example, many people believe that Mary Magdalene was Jesus’ TF, and they had a lot of love between them, yet, since Jesus’ destiny was to embrace the cross, he didn’t end up marrying her. And yet, it was something he CHOSE to do, not something that someone thrust on him. He did it with complete awareness and acceptance. Because again, like I said, spirituality at its core, is freedom. Destiny only means that every path has a particular destination at the end. But which path we take, is completely up to us. Whichever path we take will lead to the destination that is at the end of it— that part is nonnegotiable. You can’t take one path and expect to reach a different destination. However, these paths are not linear, parallel tracks. They are more like a labyrinth— connecting and disconnecting at several junctions. Which means that we can change our paths at any moment that we want. If we have taken a wrong path today, it will lead to a wrong destination, but if we want to change where we end up at, we can change the path at any time. We are not doomed or fated forever to end up in a wrong place just because we took the wrong path in the past. We are only fated to go there if we keep continuing on that same path.

Coming back to Jungkook’s DF, she recognizes the spiritual aspect of the connection and what it means for her life and Jungkook’s. She knows a separation is imminent and she’s accepted it with her whole heart. She can’t pretend to be sad or missing him just to look good in his eyes because she neither misses him nor is she sad about this. She longs for him every moment of her life but she never feels like they are separate from each other. She always energetically feels him around herself and knows that he feels her too. The difference is that while she embraces this situation, Jungkook is resisting it. He WANTS to be connected with her in the physical world. It’s a really stubborn energy lol where he is simply refusing to see anything else. I used the word “refusing” because it’s not like he doesn’t know the problems that are there with regards to this connection. He is just ducking his responsibility of dealing with them and just hoping that they will somehow go away. He is, knowingly or unknowingly, in a self-centred energy where he has put all the responsibility of them being together on her. He wants her to be with him but he doesn’t want to address the reasons why they aren’t together. Truthfully, the real reason they aren’t and cannot be physically connected (in any way) is because Jungkook’s life is a mess— ENERGETICALLY. This needs to be emphasized because Jungkook often feels like he can “handle” a connection. Like I said, he daydreams and fantasizes about everything he would like to do for her and he just wants the damn connection to start and get moving already. But there’s the problem. He is only concerned about the external, physical aspect of the connection, but this is a spiritual, energetic connection. They are connected so deep and so profoundly because of this very reason. It can’t be ignored just so you two can start dating or talking even. At this moment, Jungkook is in a state where he is carrying everyone else’s energy except his own. There are way too many interferences and sabotaging around him. Add to it his wounds from past experiences and relationships. It’s just unfair of him to expect his DF to be with him while his own life is so disharmonious. It’s like, when you invite someone over to your home, do you expect them to come to a dirty, messy home? Or would you first clean up? It’s not that he is unaware of these problems. He knows, and he also often feels guilty of getting her involved in all of this. But feeling guilty is not enough. It won’t make the problems go away. He is in a victim mentality where he feels everything is happening TO him, and he is absolving himself off of the responsibility of admitting that by not doing what needs to be done, he is also a part of the problem. Don’t get me wrong, he DOES want to work on these problems, he doesn’t want to subject her to this forever. But where he is wrong is in expecting that she SHOULD stay by him while the problems still exist. And that’s just unfair. She has possibly also tried doing that. But the thing is, the actual problems are not the ones on the outside. The actual problems are the ones in his mind. He can’t always have control over his external situations, but he can ALWAYS have control over his own self IF he wants. It’s the negative energy that he lets stay inside him rent free that is the real problem. No matter what she does to make him happy, Jungkook finds a reason to be sad. No matter what she says to assure him that she loves him, he will still stick to that one vague reason that makes him afraid of losing her. Or some other fear. He feels like the problem is that they are not together. But the problem is actually that Jungkook is a whole warehouse of fear, insecurity, jealousy, anger, etc. And he is entrusting it upon her to heal him. But no one can heal someone else unless they really want to, unless they make their own effort, but most importantly, unless they recognize what the real problem is. His fears are not because of her actions, his fears are because of his past wounds. It is unfair to expect her to be at his beck and call to heal HIS past issues without him being proactive about healing himself first. TFs do play a very important role in healing each other, but not in a co-dependent, energy-vampire-ical way. They heal each other by empowering each other, helping each other be free. Excessive dependence on your counterpart does the exact opposite of healing.

His DF was likely in a past relationship with a narcissist who expected exactly this out of her. She was expected to compensate for his insecurities by limiting herself— her thoughts, feelings, and just living in general. Back then she wasn’t “awake”, so she complied, but it was never enough. The more she adjusted, the more areas she was given to adjust. It resulted in her living a life that ran on autopilot, doing only things that were “permitted” by her partner. In moments where she wanted to assert her own will, she would be made to feel guilty of doing something that her partner didn’t want her to. That she was the reason why her partner was unhappy. Now she understands that no one is responsible for someone else’s happiness or sadness. We can do things with the intention of making someone happy or sad, but how they take it and react to it is completely their call. And in the end when she had fully adapted to his way of living by completely bequeathing her autonomy of decisions and actions, one day he turned around to accuse her of not being independent and proactive enough, and for being too needy. Because that’s what ego-based behaviour leads you to do. You’re never satisfied. Here’s the difference between ego and soul— the ego demands everything but is happy with nothing; the soul accepts everything and is happy with everything.

She can assure Jungkook a million times that she loves him, that she will always be with him, but unless he gets to the root of his insecurities and eliminate them from the root, they will always go back to the same problems. Because the harsh truth is, as much as he loves her, right now he is using her and this connection as a distraction and escape from his real problems, a quick fix. But the TF connection is not supposed to distract you from your problems, it is supposed to point you exactly in the direction of where your problems are. This is what Jungkook and this connection has done for his DF, and this is what she hopes to do for him. But she can only direct him towards those problems, she can’t decide or act on them. That is something only he can do. He needs to quit waiting for someone else to fix his life and take it upon himself. He has been having tower moments after tower moments simply because he is refusing to see or act on the problems.

His problems are not all though. His DF is staying away also because of her own problems, her own past wounds. She is not as perfect as he thinks she is. Her life is not as perfect as he thinks it is. She has as many problems— both external and internal— as he does. She knows that Jungkook dreams of healing her, taking away all her pain, solving all her problems, and she is forever grateful, but it’s the wrong approach. There are some things only she can and should handle. She knows that Jungkook often looks for her dreams, wanting to fulfil all of them, be that person in her life who does those things for her. And again, she is both grateful and happy that there is someone in this big, bad world who has that kind of intention and energy towards her, and someday when the time is right, she has absolutely no doubt that he will do all of these things. But right now, it means something to her to be able to do all these things for herself. All her life, she has been following directions from someone else, either parents or a partner or anyone who would show more authority than what she had on herself. But continuously living her life on someone else’s terms didn’t work out very well. Neither for her nor for others. Her life felt empty and her soul felt restless and unfulfilled. And if one doesn’t have peace within themselves, they can’t radiate peace around them. She doesn’t blame anyone else for this. Truthfully, it’s her own fault. For not having boundaries, for letting people walk all over her. For not asserting her own choice in her own life. But she won’t do that anymore. She can’t go back to that co-dependent energy. Not even with her TF, even though he’s one of the most important people in her life right now. She’s not mad at him, she’s not punishing him for any “mistake” that he thinks he has made. She’s only doing this because she is fully convinced that is the only right thing to do in this situation. And she is not back down from her own conviction. She is no more letting other people decide for her, especially when her own intuition doesn’t support it. In the past, she has had plenty of people telling her what to do, and now she realizes that those people were a lot more clueless than she was, and that she has always been the more intuitive and “right” person in any crowd. But the self-trust that she lacked back then, she has now. And she is not questioning it anymore.

One important lesson Jungkook has to learn is to know that there are no “punishments” in this world. Due to his past experiences, either very strict parenting or strict K Pop training environment, he has this deeply seated fear of being punished when he does something wrong. If he makes mistakes— which we all do— the Universe won’t punish him. We simply have some inconvenient situations as a direct or indirect result of our actions, so that we can learn that our actions were wrong and we can correct them in future. Punishments are also ego based repercussions. If his connection is as spiritual as he believes it is, then he also has to believe that his DF would never punish him. That’s just now how a healthy relationship should be! Imagine if two people were always out to get each other for their mistakes, keeping count of them and then waiting to punish them at an opportune moment... just how stressful would that relationship be! It might be that Jungkook has had to deal with someone like that in the past which has shaped his mindset about love and relationships that way. Love is not so egotistical. Anyone who claims to love you should be always willing to forgive you, no matter how many times you make mistakes. Yes, everyone should have boundaries, no one should allow anything they consider as mistreatment, but they should still be able to forgive the person they claim to love. If there are feelings of anger, malice, revenge towards someone, no matter what they have done, that is not love. So much of Jungkook’s pain is rooted in this mindset. He believes that just because he has made mistakes in his life, he is now destined to live a life of misery and sadness as a punishment, over which he has no control. Like I explained earlier, that’s not how Destiny works. We ALWAYS have a choice and we can make that choice anytime. The question is: are we REALLY willing to? Or are we looking to turn a blind eye towards our responsibilities and then blame it on our “fate”?

With his current energy, Jungkook has one foot of the door. He KNOWS what he has to do— the hesitation that he feels about taking action towards connection is not his fear. It is in fact, his soul voice. Deep inside, he knows this is not the right time. He is not ready for this connection to move forward or even exist in the physical. He knows he needs to work on himself first. He knows what his problems are and where they are. He knows that no matter what he does, he will never lose his TF. He just finds it difficult to trust himself with his own knowledge. There are too many outside opinions and energies that interferes with his thoughts and actions. And that is also his fault because he is allowing them to.

Very notable here is that Jungkook has one or more Karmic connections that are constantly interfering with this connection. He is frequently under psychic attacks, as is his DF. These karmics act as energy vampires by energetically trying to influence his thoughts— pressuring him for attention, communication and commitment, threatening to leave him if he doesn’t oblige, threatening to date someone else— acting as if it is coming from his DF. His DF wants nothing of that sort right now. Co-dependent energy is the very first thing that TFs are supposed to eliminate from their connection, which means from their own minds. Look around you. 99% of relationships in this world are based on co-dependency. A “if you give me this, I’ll give you that” kind of energy. Love, true love, is unconditional. Think about it: “love” is defined as an emotion, and abstract noun. Love, at its core, is an emotion. It is not actions or words or relationships or marriages. Love is a feeling, that’s all. If you can feel it inside your heart, no matter what situation you are in, you are in love. It’s the world’s biggest mistake to equate love with what we do for those we claim to love. It’s like, if you love me, prove it. No. If I love you, I’ll just love you that’s all. There will be no condition on my love. It won’t exist or disappear based on what I do or don’t do. We are often placed in situations where we can’t always do everything that we do. Actions are not always the same as feelings. Sometimes two people can love each truly and deeply, but— and I’m not afraid to say it— one of them can die before the other. Or fall sick and be bedridden forever, and be completely unable to “do” anything for the ones they love. What happens then? The love disappears? Just because they can’t prove it anymore? It’s such a limiting concept of love. Also, so many people will do so many things— gifts, vacations, anniversaries, social media updates— but then will also cheat on their partners, leave them for someone else... what value do all these things that they did hold in that case? My point is, doing a lot of things means nothing if the feeling behind it is not backed by true and pure love. Too many people depend on actions to prove the existence of love, but don’t take the time to really FEEL it. When you feel love for the emotion that it is, without restrictions and judgements, trust me, the action flows effortlessly. You will naturally know when to do what and those actions will NEVER be wrong. Instead of jumping about going crazy doing things, take the time to connect with your heart space and see what is really going on in there. It’s not always fun and games. Love does come with pain and sorrow too. But negative emotions are not a bad thing. Remember, negative emotions are NOT the same as negativity. Negative emotions are signifiers. They help us see where we are facing problems, what needs to be fixed. Negativity on the other hand, is blinding ourselves from those signals, and staying stuck in that stagnant pool of negative emotions, and not making the effort to get out of it. Always remember, energy is like water. As long as it is flowing, like in a stream, it is clean and healthy— no matter what type of energy. It is only when it is stagnant that it becomes unclean and breeds diseases. And to keep energy moving and flowing, it is essential to feel your feelings, no matter what they are. Be brutally honest with yourself about how you feel. Don’t judge your feelings, don’t censor them. Don’t tell yourself, I’m not supposed to feel this way. Bulls***! You can feel any type of way that you want to. Because you’re human. And that’s what humans do, they feel. That’s what makes us different from machines. Once you can feel accurately, you can now understand your feelings. You can understand the root of those feelings. So many people get away with saying, I don’t know what I feel like, I don’t know why I feel this way. Well, it can happen. Initially. But as humans we can and are supposed to KNOW our feelings by observing them. That’s what makes us different from animals. They feel but can’t make sense of those feelings. They directly go from feeling to acting. But we can do the essential step in between. Understand our feelings and then decide how to act.

Honestly, Jungkook has been sitting in a pool for a while now. Like I said, he is carrying mostly others’ energies than his own. This is why his DF feels the need to distance herself from him even though she wanted to, and has tried to be there for him in whichever capacity possible. She is all for healing Jungkook, but she can’t be responsible for other people’s energies too. As she is energetically connected with him, she feels his energy, and it is especially difficult when he is stuck in low vibrational energy for a long time. As long as he doesn’t find a way to block these energies, he is bringing both himself and this connection down. One person is trying to fill the connection with positive energies while the other acts as a host to energy vampires. It’s exhausting for both of them! It’s like trying to empty water from a boat with holes. No matter how hard you try, the boat will sink if the holes are not repaired. And it’s something only Jungkook can do. And the only way to do it is if he rises from his pool of negative emotions. Energy vampires, psychic attacks are only effective if you give them access to your energy. Remember, any person who tries to sabotage you is already vibrating in a low frequency with their ill intentions. You block their access by simply vibrating at a higher frequency. This is the singlemost effective way to both stop outside interference as well as improving your own energy. Commit to wanting to be a happier version of yourself. And just like love, don’t make your happiness conditional. Don’t think I’ll be happy if___ Be happy where you are, how you are. You’re not unhappy because you don’t have your DF, you are unhappy because you have mental blockages that restrict you from being happy. Find out what those restrictions are, then get to work on them.

The separation is also necessary because Jungkook NEEDS to face his fears. He has been battling with a lot of fears about losing his DF, and with her losing his dream future. But instead of facing it and getting it out of his system, he has been avoiding it. He creates different scenarios that would help him avoid feeling the pain of facing and analysing his fear. Somehow, somewhere, these scenarios lead him to believing that she doesn’t love him, she cheats on him or will cheat on him, or has left him for good, is intentionally hurting him, is taking advantage of his love and his having fun doing it. These are accusations his DF will not entertain. She understands where he is coming from, she understands the conflict and battle he is going through but she will not be held responsible for something she doesn’t even dream of doing. She could be just watching a movie and crushing on an actor but Jungkook’s paranoia will conclude she is seeing someone else. It’s hurtful. And even more so when it comes from someone who seemed like the one person in this world who would never hurt you. She is struggling in her life too. She is working on herself too. The difference between her and Jungkook is that she does not hold Jungkook responsible for her happiness. She accepts his situation and his decisions without questioning his motives, and she expects the same energy from him. They might be TFs but they are two separate individuals with different mentalities, backgrounds and situations. Each of them has the right to live their lives EXACTLY as they want to, without having to explain themselves, or proving their loyalty all the time. She won’t spend her whole lifetime proving her love and loyalty to someone who is supposed to understand her already. The TF separation period is not a punishment. It is a gift. It is their first opportunity to test if their love is really as strong and eternal as they think it is. True love does not disappear because of distance and situations. You don’t need to be with your partner to love them. Heck, you don’t even need a partner to love! Love, as I said, is an emotion to be felt. If you feel it, you know love. If you experience love, and then proceed to put fences of restrictions and conditions around it, one day, the restrictions will win and the love will lose. The separation really helps us test out the strength of the connection. Know that in spirituality there are always win-win situations. If two people do love each other truly, they will always come back to each other. It’s always better to leave your connection be free. Two people who are free to go anywhere they like and be with anyone they like, yet choose to come back to each other without demanding without accusing, is the best kind of love connection. And if they don’t come back, that means that connection wasn’t as good as it seemed after all, in which case, you’re free to look for the real one!

Jungkook really needs to loosen his grip. He needs to let her go. He needs to let her come back to him because she wants to, not because she felt trapped with guilt to stay with him. It is also his test for how much trust he has on someone he claims to love so much. If he can’t trust her now, he will not magically learn to trust her later when they are in a physical connection.

The thing is, everything written in this post, Jungkook already knows. And his DF knows this. She sees him beyond his outer tantrums through to his soul. She knows who he is inside there and what he wants and needs. She’s probably overconfident that she knows him better than he knows himself lol. And this is what is keeping her hopeful about this connection. She believes in him and is rooting for him to come through with his soul lessons and healing. Just like he believes in her and is rooting for her success in her life and career. He’s just... how to put it... overzealous about her lol. I’ve mentioned earlier that Jungkook values equal give and take in a relationship but this is causing detriment. He believes that she has done way too much for him and in return, he has given too little to her. That might be true lol but he must remember that firstly, he has already given her a lot more than what she has ever received from anyone. It’s not always the material things you know, the most valuable things in life are the ones money can’t buy. She has experienced being loved exactly the way she had always wanted to be loved. Him and the people around him have contributed to making her a strong, independent, assertive woman and shed many of her past inhibitions and weaknesses. This connection has caused her faith in herself and the Divine to go through the roof! And that’s exactly what he needs right now too. He needs to have faith. Faith in himself, this connection and the Universe. He really needs to see that she is not the only special person in this connection. He is as special as her as well— he is her! If he can’t forget her, how can she forget him? If he thinks she is irreplaceable, how can he not be irreplaceable in her life as well? He needs to work on his self-image and self-confidence to really see that he is equal, if not greater than her. She already sees him as special and irreplaceable but his lack of self esteem is causing him to create this illusion that she is too good for him, that he will never find anyone like her and therefore he must cling to her to make sure she never leaves. Even if they get into a connection, is it healthy to live with these fears and insecurities all your life? It’s time for him to shift the focus from her to himself and give himself all that pure, genuine love that she gave her. Self love. And then if she doesn’t come back, then fu** that bi***! An insanely gorgeous man who loves himself and has healed himself? There must be someone in this whole wide world who will know how to value that!

He needs to have faith in this connection. He needs to remember that he had no control over how it started. It just... happened. It was Divine planning and Divine timing. It came to him when he most needed it even when he didn’t know that he needed it. That’s how the Divine works. As broken, trauma-beaten humans, we tend to want to control everything exactly according to our understanding. But know that our understanding of life is limited. We don’t know everything that is happening or will happen in the future. We don’t know everything about other people. We don’t even know everything about ourselves. How can we hope to control everything with our limited knowledge? Only the Divine/ Universe/ Source or whatever you want to call it, knows everything every time. Even when homo sapiens were merely amoebas, the Universe was still here, doing its job. Even when humans were not here to “oversee” everything, the Universe was still operating smoothly according to its own rules. Everything human beings have learnt is from the Universe, from nature. It was here before us and it will be here probably even after we’re extinct. We’re not supposed to get ahead of it, we’re supposed to align with the Universal flow that has always existed. And we do it by having faith. Anything that is rooted in spirituality will require faith. We tend to want to first see things/ get assurances before we can have faith, but in reality it is only when we have faith that we see what we want. If the greatest inventors of the world waited to see things to believe in their existence, we wouldn’t have made all these advancements. To create something, and especially to create something new, have faith first. You can’t expect to have deep, pure, unconditional love by treating it like a casual date. Don’t try to define or understand it in terms of connections or relationships you’ve already had, because this is nothing like that. IF there is something wrong with this connection, trust that you will know. If you are keeping a clear, open mind, you will KNOW when things are wrong, and you will know when they are right. Don’t restrict your good judgement by doubting yourself all the time. Don’t depend on others to define or solve a situation that YOU are going through. It is your problem, you are capable enough to solve it. That’s how the Universe hands us situations and problems. We already have the capability of handling them, we just need to dig it out of ourselves firstly by deciding that we want to solve it, then by believing that we can. We really don’t need anyone for anything in life. If we do need anyone, the Universe promptly sends them to us. It is natural to WANT someone to be beside us though. But if the Universe is showing us that it’s not the right time by putting distances and obstacles between us, then we need to trust and accept that it is for our highest good. We might not know how right now, but in time we will.

The DF, as I said, is in this state of complete acceptance. This has filled her up with a sense of peace, happiness and stability. She is not one bit sad about the separation. Instead, she is sad that Jungkook is staying sad simply because he’s not accepting a situation that he has no control over. This resistance is making him overthink and worry himself sick over what she’s doing, thinking, feeling, and then accusing her of being the reason why he’s sad. This is not his energy. This is not the person he is, she knows it. This connection has given her the much needed high vibration energy to deal with her personal problems and solve them. She is celebrating her small wins and just being alive you know? She has not felt this free and light in all her life and she is not going back to worrying over things and situations she can’t control and be sad about them. She REALLY wishes Jungkook to do his own healing and join her in this energetic space because it is beautiful! But like everything else, she can’t control him. Because of the intense love and passion he has for her, he might think that she controls him but she doesn’t. He is controlled by his own fear and anxiety. She can’t make him take the decisions and actions required for him to heal. She can only heal herself, hoping that it will energetically help him instead. And to do that, she needs to focus every bit of her energy on herself. She is always connected to Jungkook, but she will not play host to other interfering energies anymore. Jungkook needs to also focus all his energy on himself but again, she can’t force him to do anything, it’s his call. She expects complete freedom to make her own life decisions according to her own understanding, and she expects anyone who claims to love her to respectfully accept it without accusing her of being selfish. Because self love is NOT being selfish. Especially for people like Jungkook and his DF, who are giving people, self love is an investment for the betterment of everyone they come in contact with. The more they invest in themselves, the more their tribe flourishes. He needs to accept that she shouldn’t be expected to be on standby while he is sorting out his life. He needs to accept that she deserves to live her life while she needs to accept that he deserves to live his life as well. There is no need to restrict or limit your life for your TF. Like I said, spirituality is about freedom. If a TF connection is not completely free of restrictions and limitations then it’s most likely not one. And yes, that includes dating as well. It might never happen, but that’s not the point. The point is, how far are we willing to go into acceptance of our TF counterpart’s freedom of choice for their happiness? And the answer should always be, ALL THE WAY. If your divine counterpart decides to start dating while in separation, it definitely won’t be an easy thing to handle. But if it’s really the unconditional love you swear you have for them, you should work through your own insecurities to allow them that choice as well. Of course, one doesn’t have to. No one is obligated to put up with anything they don’t like or can’t accept, or stay in that kind of a connection. And that’s the beauty of spirituality. Freedom. You are free to reject that connection. There is no “duty” or “destiny” binding you to anything you REALLY do not want to be a part of. But you’ve got to choose a side now and commit to that journey. No more doubting and avoiding. If you want it, then do what needs to be done for it, not just what you’re comfortable doing. If your comfort zone is more preferable to you, then stay in there but don’t complain why there’s no “unconditional love” in this world. To get unconditional love, you must give unconditional love first. And to do that, remove all restrictions and conditions in your own mentality that get in the way— not in the other person’s mentality. Trust in the Universe which has obviously proven time and time again to be more powerful than you. Trust that the energy you put out is the energy you will receive.

To sum up, this is a really important phase in Jungkook’s life. He is on a crossroad, not able to make definite decisions, just because he can’t put enough faith in himself, the Universe and this connection. Well, he can’t control the connection or the Universe so he should start with increasing faith in himself. Believe that he can and will always take the right decisions because here’s the fun thing: there are no wrong decisions when the intention is right. His DF believes in his ability because she knows his intentions to be pure and genuine all the time. All he wants is to do good to everyone, she has seen that. And the Universe loves him for that and wants to reward him. But he is blocking his rewards by being so damn stubborn and resistant. Don’t resist the change. Change is good. Change is growth. Growth means promotion and rewards. He has already sort of taken the right decision by wanting to focus on himself. It is time to commit to it by letting go of doubts and by FULLY, WHOLLY focusing his energy on himself and himself only. Leave his worries about his DF to the Universe. She’s a strong gal, she’s got this! TFs are not supposed to be energy leeches on each other’s backs. They’re not supposed to be weaknesses to each other, they’re supposed to be each other’s biggest strengths. Allow her to grow on her own to be the strong and rightful partner that she has the potential to be. Allow her to stretch her limbs and see what she’s capable of doing in her life, to go after her dreams with full force and focus. Just his energy of wanting to protect her and take care of her make her feel SO loved it really makes her feel like she can do anything! He doesn’t need to do anything else for her right now. What he really needs to protect her from is his own negative energies, by working on healing them, because she feels them. He needs to protect her from outside interference by taking responsibility of his own healing and his own life. People are pointing fingers at this connection because his life and mental health deteriorating. Not everyone is against him or this connection. Some people genuinely love him and want the best for him, and if he gives them the reason to believe that this connection is the reason why he is suffering, then that is wrong. He needs to step up and step in. They need to see this period as a gift, an opportunity to become their best versions before they get back together so that when they do, they don’t end up hurting each other due to their wounded ego-based behaviours. It’s not the easiest journey but I assure it is the MOST fulfilling. Once you let go of your worries, and everything you can’t control, you find this constant peace of mind, which is interspersed with frequent moments of euphoria— when you do get there, you’ll never want to go back. You get a bird’s eye view of this life and realize what the most important things in life really are, and what you really want, what really gives you real happiness. And you also see the best ways to get there. Free yourself. That’s why this connection really has come into your life. Free yourself from your own limitations. Your DF wants nothing from you except for you to flourish and be happy. Do whatever the hell you need to do for that, no judgements at all. She’ll meet you at the other side of the finish line :)

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schnees-and-schnugs · 4 years ago

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I’m going to create a canon divergence that is so self indulgent- *insert willow-whitley and kitty AU*

This is a concept I want to write in multiple short parts until I get bored and wear it out- so consider this just a pt. 1

I also wrote this with these last few fics in mind, so you can think of this as a continuation of those. Or not. But a lot of the same themes do apply.

This is probably going to be first fic that I don’t write in one/two sittings but my classes are a pain in the ass ;_;

tw: eating disorder, alcoholism

_______________________________________________________________

“I want a cat.”

Willow blinked. “What?”

Her son fidgeted nervously on his feet. “A cat. I want to adopt a cat.”

Well this is a... surprise.

Despite her and Whitley having lived on their own in Patch for a few months, he’s hardly spoken a world to her since the fall of Atlas. Or spoken a word to anyone, really. She put it up to the radically new environment, and well, the fact that Atlas is gone, the SDC is in shambles, and Jacques had been MIA (probably dead) since the fall. Winter and Weiss had insisted that Willow and Whitley settle down somewhere quiet and safe, and the islands off the coast of Vale weren’t exactly next on Salem’s attack checklist.

It was two of Weiss’ teammates who suggested they head to Patch, even offering to let their father know about their arrival. Willow had gently denied the kind offer, saying that Tai Xiao Long didn’t need to bother with them. They’ll be fine. She pretending not to notice the look on all their faces: a depressed alcoholic and her previously isolated, emotionally traumatized son? Fine on their own?

She had then turned around, gathered Whitley (who was sitting on the bench behind her, ignoring attempts made by a few of Weiss’ companions to cheer him up even a little), and bought tickets for the next ship going from Vacuo to Vale.

Yet when the ship docked on the shore of the island, there stood a blonde, muscular man with a sign that read: Willow and Whitley Schnee, Welcome! in sharpie. He must have saw the confusion (and honestly a little fear) on her face from his standpoint on the harbor because he had quickly flipped the sign over and scribbled on it before holding it up again. My name is Tai Xiao Long. Yang and Ruby’s Father.

It seems that Weiss’ friends didn’t listen to me.

Nevertheless, Willow had breathed a sigh of relief. She had quite a few run ins with people on the journey east who recognized her and/or Whitley. The interactions have ranged from stares that were a little too long to pure hostility. It also didn’t help that some people thought it was okay to just grab any well known person they see- she almost broke a man’s arm after he had suddenly seized Whitley’s wrist and jerked him around. He’d probably be dead if Winter and Weiss were there, but Willow had settled on ripping the mans arm away with a glyph and dragging Whitley off quickly.

And now here they are, three months later and Willow was drinking a can of soda while enjoying the afternoon breeze on the front porch of their little cabin when Whitley approached her.

“A cat. I want to adopt a cat.”

She looked up at her son’s face and saw a familiar look of apprehension that everyone in their family had when faced with the prospect of having to ask for anything. Of course, before it usually involved asking Jacques, or begging more so. Willow had to approach this carefully or else Whitley is just going to recede back into his shell and not speak a word for another three months.

“Well... we can ask Mr. Xiao Long about it. He surely would know about any animal shelters around here.”

He scrunched up his nose, a face that she knew in Whitley Terms meant yeah okay... but I’m not happy about it.

Willow knew better than to suspect that Whitley disliked Mr. Xiao Long specifically. He avoided everyone these days- friendly neighbors, SDC businessmen, etc. Tai had made sure they were comfortable every step of the way. He had shown them around, introduced them to soon-to-be friends, brought them into his home for meals until Willow figured out her way around a kitchen, even invited Whitley to study at Signal Academy. He refused, but Willow appreciated the offer. And she knew Whitley appreciated it too, but he’s having a hard enough time coming to terms with Willow’s protectiveness of him, much less accept the fact that a stranger may also care slightly about him.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Willow couldn’t help but to smile at his childish apprehension. She relished any show of adolescence in her son these days. After years of walking on eggshells and maintaining a facade just short of perfection, he needed to clumsily blunder around like any young teenager would do.

Whitley tugged at his long red sleeves. “There’s a stray kitten that comes around here at night...”

“You have that one in mind?”

He nodded. “I always hear it meowing outside my window. I want to try to bring it inside- I leave scraps outside my window but it always disappears by the time the sun rises. Maybe if I could get it to come to the porch... In Atlas, they said in the animal shelter that it takes a few weeks to socialize a kitten.”

He started at her expectantly. Willow had forgotten that Whitley would occasionally volunteer at one of the few animal shelters in Atlas. Jacques only allowed him to go just so he could milk all the PR he could out of it, obviously. But to this day, she had never actually heard Whitley speak about it unprompted. It must have been something he genuinely liked if he was so quiet about it. He knew full well that any hobby that he actually outwardly enjoyed was the first on Jacques’ chopping block if Whitley ever slipped up.

Willow stood up on the porch steps and faced her son. “Very well then. Tonight we’ll leave food out on the front porch and watch to see if it comes by.”

Whitley’s face brightened for the first time in months. “Really?”

“Mmhm.” She hummed. “Hopefully soon enough the kitten will like us and come inside...”

Willow’s chest ached at the overwhelming surprise on his face. Asking Jacques for anything always came with a catch, a quid pro quo. Looking back, Willow always knew love was a transaction to him. But being young and blinded by the man- she just accepted it as a slight character flaw. Whitley didn’t know anything other than this.

She was going to get him this kitten even if she had to crawl in the shrubbery at midnight looking for it.

For the next few hours he assisted Willow in the kitchen for the first time since they got to Patch. Mostly because he wanted to get the kittens food out as fast as he could, but she wasn’t complaining. She watched as Whitley cut up a cooked chicken breast into bite sized little pieces, his tongue slightly sticking out as he concentrated. She wondered, briefly, if it was safe to allow him to handle a kitchen knife. Willow shook the thought away. He isn’t a child. She wouldn’t insult him by treating him like one. But she still had to be a mother... if it wasn’t too late.

She tried to be as hands off as she could in these last few months while trying to muster what parental authority she could without scaring Whitley away. He was free to spend his time to do whatever he liked just as long as it was safe and he went to bed on time. Eating three solid meals a day was also a requirement, but that was a sensitive issue that Willow didn’t know how to approach with conviction. He has been cooperative for the most part in this aspect- which came as a surprise since Whitley has spent years trying to maintain whatever little control he had over his own life by strictly regulating what went inside his mouth and when. Which often meant very little eating.

Willow didn’t want to name the condition out loud. If she did, then it would become a problem. Then she would have to admit that all of this still wasn’t enough to fix everything. Then she would start wanting a drink-

Maybe everyone was right. Maybe her and Whitley were simply too broken to be able to live on their own.

But they haven’t been living on their own, have they? Mr. Xiao Long still came by a few times a week to “check up on how y’all are adapting”, as he says. More like to make sure I’m not passed out drunk and Whitley hadn’t taken the opportunity to jump off a cliff, Willow thought bitterly.

She still didn’t know how much Weiss and her friends told him - but they must have been pretty honest if he was going to be this concerned. Willow cringed at the thought of how he must see her - a failure of a mother. Not only that, but one who’s too afraid to confront the fact that her son is sick and needs help, but she can’t help because she’s not enough-

“I’m done.”

Willow blinked out of her increasingly chaotic thoughts to see Whitley holding a small bowl of chopped chicken, staring at her expectantly.

Maybe I should stop thinking so much.

“Lets put it out on the front porch then,” Willow grabbed both their plates of spaghetti off the kitchen counter. “We can eat by the window and watch for the kitten.”

Whitley frowned. “Can we keep the front door open? Maybe if it sees us enough times then it will get used to us eventually.”

“Whatever you want darling,” She replied, already on her way to the living room.

And so they sat eating dinner, she on the edge of the couch and he on the floor on front of the open door. They sat in silence, but it was a comfortable one - Whitley watching the outside intently for the kitten and Willow watching him absentmindedly eat. A few minutes turned into an hour and she began to wonder if the kitten was going to show tonight, but a tiny scampering sound brought her and her son back to attention.

The kitten emerged from the shrubbery.

It was beautiful.

It was small, only about a few weeks old. Its pitch black fur made it almost impossible to see without the aid of the moonlight. Its little white socks on its paws and glowing eyes gave it away as it inched slowly towards the now cold bowl of chicken.

Willow held her breath, and she knew Whitley was too. The kitten tentatively ate from the bowl, unaware of the two humans watching it. It seemed about half way through when Whitley, unknowing, leaned forward- causing his now empty plate to slide off his lab and hit the wood floor. The sound wasn’t loud, but in the silence of the night it was like a gunshot.

The kitten’s head snapped up, ears perked in attention. For an almost comical millisecond, the kitten stared at the two of them and they stared back, everyone wide eyed. Then it turned and ran off back where it came, leaving behind nothing but a bowl of half eaten chicken.

Willow braced herself for Whitley’s inevitable disappointment. But instead, when she turned toward him she saw an expression of joy. His eyes are brighter than she had ever seen them, not since he was a child.

“She’s a girl,” He said.

She furrowed her brow. “How do you know that?”

“When she turned around and ran - I saw her backside. I think she’s a girl.”

Willow smiled. “Very well then. One discovery is good enough for tonight.”

Standing up, she reached for both of their used dishes and softly closed the front door shut. “Time for bed.”

Whitley didn’t complain. He headed off the bed while Willow cleaned up the kitchen- a menial task that she never had to do back in atlas. But she found a peace in it. If given the choice, she would take a lifestyle of chores over the decadent one she had before. Ten times out of ten. This felt real.

In the back of her mind, she remembered the chicken left outside. After considering, she decided to leave it out in case the kitten came back. She would make sure that Whitley would have this kitten eventually. It was the least she could do.

#rwby #my fic #willow schnee #whitley schnee #its 2 am and i barely proof read bear with me

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