#When Everything's Made to Be Broken

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 21: The Lie that I'm Fed

Summary: In the aftermath of the Times Square attack, Thor asks Theo to do something that makes her start to question her understanding of her friendship with Loki. 

Contents: This entire chapter takes place in a hospital; however, there really isn’t much (if any) blood or gore. There are, however, descriptions of medical equipment, a touch of angst, and some comfort in the mix.

Word Count: 11,572

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

The Lie That I’m Fed

Song: Down on my Head - Yellowcard

I work all night for one more day  That I can say I’m all alone, alone I just need time, and I will say What I believe and I’ll come home, home And all I know…

When Theo promised she’d be back to the ED after the attack, she hadn’t meant for it to be as a patient. However, the moment Theo walked through the door Julie took one look at the blood covered, bruised up Avenger and immediately ordered Theo into the nearest treatment room.  

…. Which is how Theo found herself sitting on a stretcher in one of the treatment rooms, trying not to roll her eyes as Julie fussed over her.

At least they set the head of the bed up so she had something to lean on while she waited for Julie to tell Theo what she already knew — that she would be fine. Other than what would turn into an annoying black eye and bruised, throbbing knuckles from the stupid decision to punch someone, Theo had emerged relatively unscathed. The only reason she even agreed to be checked over was because smoke from the explosions meant she might have accidentally exacerbated her asthma.

Well, that and Julie could be a bit scary when she got overprotective.

From where Theo sat, she could easily spot the familiar beige and gray carts filled with medical supplies, the bright red biohazard bin, the steel tray that sat at the ready in case of impromptu surgical procedures. Despite being able to rattle off the contents of every drawer and cabinet in the room, for whatever reason they always seemed a bit foreign when she was in the room as the patient and not the provider.

“So your lungs don’t sound bad at the moment,” Julie concluded, draping her stethoscope around her neck. “However, If you need your rescue inhaler more than twice this week, make sure to get an appointment with your pulmonologist. With the circumstances, it could take a bit of time for an inhalation injury to become apparent.” 

“Usually it takes a couple hours for an inhalation injury to show up, Jules, not a couple days,” Theo pointed out. “If you aren’t noticing anything now, I’m sure I’m fine.”

“We don’t know what was in that smoke,” Julie countered, dark eyes trained on Theo. “If there was an irritant that managed to settle in your lungs, it may not trigger symptoms right away. I’d prefer you don’t land your ass in the hospital from a sudden asthma attack or airway inflammation.”

“Is that just because you don’t want to cover any more shifts while everyone’s out next month?” Theo teased, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and standing up.

“You and I both know that I wouldn’t be covering your shifts—” Julie feigned offense, a radiant grin offsetting the horror in her tone. “I’d find coverage for both of our shifts, because I’d be the one staying with you until you were back on your feet again, even though it means sleeping on a couch.”

History proved that Julie wasn’t exaggerating. During the year they lived together while in their residencies, Theo picked up a nasty case of bronchitis that made her asthma flare. Julie insisted on going with Theo to the doctor; when the doctor decided that Theo needed to be monitored in the hospital, Julie quite literally camped out on the hospital couch for three days, despite Theo’s reassurances that Julie could go home and sleep in her own bed.

“You have a point,” a small, grateful smile curled over Theo’s lips. As much as she hated being in a position where she needed that help, she appreciated having a friend who would show up, no questions asked, and be there for her.

In a lot of ways, Julie and Loki had that in common; when shit hit the fan, they didn’t think twice before they helped her through it. 

… Except Loki now thought of Theo as weak and unable to handle her shit. 

Ugh.

“Hey, do you know how Loki’s doing?” Theo glanced over Julie’s shoulder and towards the door. “I started treating him in the field and then got pulled away once the medics got to him. Last I saw, he wasn’t in great shape.”

“I’m not sure,” Julie glanced up from her tablet and frowned. “I overheard Helen saying they hadn’t been able to get a hold of Thor. Maybe you could see if they reached him, and if not you could try calling Thor for them? It’d give you a reason to check his chart.”

Theo almost smirked at Julie’s thinly-veiled attempt to circumvent healthcare privacy laws, but the lack of an assurance that Loki was okay dispelled any shred of amusement. 

“If you can’t tell me that’s fine,” Theo dryly remarked, “but I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to be giving me workarounds to HIPAA.” 

“Eh, you have top secret security clearance.” Julie shrugged. “I’m not worried about you abusing access to healthcare records. I know you have to pull them for mission reports anyways.”

“Fair enough.” Theo looked at the door for a second time, shifting her weight back and forth between her feet. “Need me for anything else? Or am I good to go?”

“I don’t need you for anything else, but are we going to talk about that?” Julie pointed at Theo’s right hand, which at that moment Theo covered with an ice pack.

“What about it?”

“You obviously punched someone…” Julie trailed off, grimacing when Theo removed the ice pack, revealing purple splotches already blooming on swollen knuckles. “… or something.”

“Your point?”

“You don’t punch.”

“Yeah I do.” 

“No,” Julie saw right through Theo’s attempt to prevent further conversation on what had been an absolute clusterfuck of an evening. “Not unless there’s a damn good reason.”

“I got punched first?” Theo tried, though she knew it wasn’t likely to work.

“No,” Julie quickly shook her head. “You’d have stabbed them.” 

“Well,” Theo smirked, “I did that too.”

“So why—“

Theo rolled her eyes and groaned. “Look, I was pissed—“

“—What the hell pissed you off so badly that you punched someone?!” 

“I—It’s just—“ the more Theo thought about it, the more annoyed she became. Yes, annoyed by Loki’s assumptions and by Chris’s reckless flaunting of his new relationship, but more at herself. She should have had the self-control to ignore the crowd. She should have practiced restraint when she was attacked, not giving into aggression. She should have stayed close to Loki so she could have taken down that handler and prevented their escape. Then she could have learned who recognized her, and maybe gotten closer to figuring out who the hell knew her secret and why they were coming after her.

“… It’s just what?” 

Snapped from her self-deprecation, Theo huffed. “Look, I’m pretty sure I saw Chris standing on the sidelines watching—“

“— You’re kidding—“Julie’s jaw dropped. 

“—And he wasn’t alone,” Theo added with a nod. Realistically, Chris and his flavor of the week were the least of Theo’s concerns, but it was better than trying to explain the handler situation, or that things were weird with Loki. The former was a conversation she never wanted to have, and the latter was a conversation that required a girl’s night with wine… lots of wine. “Apparently he has a new girlfriend, or watching a shadow creature attack was enough of a turn on that they couldn’t stop themselves from making out right there and then.”

“Fuck that — I’d be pissed too. But why punch someone?”

“I told you…” Theo rolled her eyes a second time. “I got caught off guard. It was more of a reaction than anything.”

“Well, don’t do it again,” Julie replied with a stern look and a tone that teetered on the edge of scolding. “You know as well as I do that you‘re lucky you didn’t seriously fuck up your hand in the process, and that’s the hand you do everything with.”

“I’m sure I’ll be reminded every time I move it for the next week or two…” Theo drawled, barely biting back a wince as she pressed the ice pack to her injury once more. “Now, can I go?”

I never thought I would wake up in bed Watching the world coming down on my head I’d sleep like a dog if you would never have said This is the world coming down on your head

After a detour to the staff locker room to shower and change into some clean scrubs, Theo sat down at the nursing station computer and pulled Loki’s chart. Reading through the notes, a tenuous relief flowed through her - though Loki had gone into shock, Theo’s healing mitigated the worst of the effects. Sure, he still had to have surgery and would need some time to recover, but it could have been worse.

Still, the thought of someone being powerful enough to injure a god so severely left an unsettling pit in Theo’s stomach. Even worse, that person escaped because Theo couldn’t keep up, leaving nothing but questions and destruction in their wake.

Theo didn’t want to call Thor to tell him bad news, but someone needed to do it. She dialed Thor’s number, wondering with each passing ring if he could even receive phone calls when he wasn’t on Earth. 

“Hello?” Right as Theo prepared to get a voicemail greeting, Thor answered.

“Hey Thor, it’s Theo.”

“Lady Theo! I was not expecting your call!” Somehow, even through the phone, Thor’s voice boomed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He must not have noticed that Theo called the emergency number.

“Well,” Theo hesitated, cringing to herself as she took a deep breath. “Not sure if you heard, but earlier today there was a pretty big shadow creature attack on Times Square. Everyone here responded and stopped the attack—” she braced herself for the potential reaction as she continued, “— but Loki was injured in the fighting—”

“—Is he alright?” In the drop of a hat, all of the casual warmth vanished from Thor’s voice, replaced with a desperation and raw fear that twisted Theo’s heart in a knot. 

“—Yeah! Loki’s being treated right now—” Theo quickly clarified before Thor could spiral into a full-blown panic. Notifying next of kin about a patient’s condition was never fun, but having to deliver the news to friends was absolutely worse. “He’s currently in surgery, but it’s a pretty routine procedure and he’s being operated on by the best of the best. They’ll take good care of him.”

On the other end of the phone, Thor let out a heavy, nervous sigh. “What sort of wounds did my brother sustain?”

“The wounds requiring surgery are a laceration to the right upper abdomen and a stab wound to his thigh. The abdominal wound was the more serious of the two, but I was able to heal some of that one in the field so it’s not as serious as it originally had been. They’re both deep enough that they need to be stitched up from the inside or they won’t heal properly, which is why he’s in surgery,” Theo said. “He lost a lot of blood, but they’ve already given him additional blood and are prepared to give him more if needed. He also has a concussion and a laceration to his head, but the head laceration was pretty shallow and shouldn’t need any stitches. Otherwise, standard bumps and bruises from fighting.”

“And his recovery time?”

“He’s going to be admitted for at least a few days; all things considered, I’d estimate around a week. Anytime there’s significant blood loss, patients are initially monitored in the ICU in case of any complications. I’m sure the doctors will also want to make sure the wounds heal properly.” Theo continued, cradling the phone in the crook of her shoulder as she glanced around at the bustling unit. “That said, with his enhanced healing he has a pretty quick recovery ahead of him. I’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time. I know you’re off-planet right now, but we wanted you to be aware of what’s going on.”

“I thank you for your consideration,” Thor solemnly replied. “We expect to complete our objective within a few hours. I will inform the others that we are to return immediately so that I may be with my brother. The journey will take a couple of days if we do not encounter any difficulties.” 

“Sounds good. Is there anyone else I should call and give updates to while you’re gone, or who you think should stay with him, at least until you’re back?” As Theo asked the question, she had already started looking up Val’s phone number in anticipation of Thor’s answer.

“If you could notify the Valkyrie, I would be most grateful. She will ensure matters related to New Asgard are managed accordingly.” Thor let out a tense exhale on the opposite end of the phone. “May I make a request, my lady?” 

“Sure,” Theo shrugged, even though Thor couldn’t see her. “What’s up?”

“My brother…” Thor faltered, then drew in an audible breath.  “Anytime he does not feel as if he has full control of himself or awareness of his surroundings, he does not react well. With the many medicines that dull the senses and limit consciousness, I am sure you understand how infirmary admissions would be challenging for him. I fear what might happen if he wakes from surgery without a trusted, familiar presence to reassure him of his safety.”

The way Thor prefaced his request opened up a pit of worry in Theo’s stomach. Even if Val picked up the phone right away, the only way she’d make it to New York in time for Loki to get out of surgery would be if Tony sent a quinjet to pick them up; given SHIELD was in rapid response mode after the attack, the odds of getting approved for a non-emergency and non-mission pickup were… well, none. 

“You are my brother’s closest friend, and I know without a doubt he trusts you with his life. If there is anyone else who could be there in my stead to provide the reassurance he needs, it would be you. Would you stay with my brother until I return?”

Wait…  what?

“You—You want me to stay in the hospital with him until you get back— like, stay overnight with him?” Unsure if she heard him correctly, Theo repeated the request back to Thor. 

Closest friend? Since when was she Loki’s closest friend? What about Val? They seemed pretty close, from what Theo could tell. They’d known each other for much longer, and they had been through a lot together. What about Wanda? Or Bruce — sure, there was the whole hulk smash thing, but they both escaped Sakaar together and worked together in establishing New Asgard. Hell, even Bucky or Sam would have made more sense, given the length of time Loki knew each other and from what Theo had observed of their friendships/dynamics in the field. 

So why would Theo be the one Thor asked?

“I recognize I am asking much of you, but know it is not a request I make lightly,” Thor implored, “it’s simply — I trust that my brother will recover in body, but I worry for the impact this will have upon his mind and spirit—”

“— Yeah, of course, I’ll stay with him,” Theo quickly promised, still trying to wrap her mind around the rationale. “The request just… it surprised me, that’s all. I’m happy to help out.”

Sure, she was annoyed about the whole assumption thing and she didn’t get why Thor asked her, of all people, but Loki always had her back when she needed him, so the very least she could do was return the favor. 

“Thank you, my lady,” Thor sighed, only sounding marginally relieved. “I assure you, I would not ask if I did not believe it to be necessary for my brother’s wellbeing. My gratitude knows no bounds.”

“It’s all good, Thor,” Theo replied. “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news — I know it’s not the kind of phone call you want to get. But I promise, he’s got the best of the best taking care of him. Are there any questions I can answer for you at the moment?”

“None at this time, though I imagine I will have additional inquiries soon.”

“Okay, well, feel free to text or call me as questions come up. Otherwise, I’ll call Val to let her know, and I’ll let you know as I have updates, okay?”

“Very well; again, thank you, truly. I am in your debt.” 

After ending the call and updating Loki’s records to reflect that Thor had been notified, Theo slouched back in the desk chair as the reality of what she agreed to washed over her.

Two days of staying with Loki, who she was not on the best of terms with at that moment, who may not even want her there… and if Thor was right, who would be very unhappy about being in the hospital.

Theo scrubbed her face with one hand as she tried to convince herself this was a good idea. Loki needed someone to stay with him, and Theo wasn’t about to abandon him; then again, what if he kicked her out? Would he let someone else stay with him — maybe Val, once she got to New York? Or would he refuse to let anyone try and help? What would Theo tell Thor – ‘sorry, your brother actually is pissed at me and kicked me out?’

To make matters worse, she didn’t even know what Thor meant when he said Loki would be “unhappy” about being in the hospital. Did that mean angry? Upset? Scared? Would Loki try to refuse treatment, or use magic when he wasn’t supposed to, or even try to leave before the doctors discharged him? Would he lash out, or try to shut everyone out? 

The more she thought about it, the more she considered calling Thor back and asking just what exactly she should be prepared for; however, Thor was technically on a mission, so trying to call him for something that wasn’t an emergency or an update on his brother was likely to get her chewed out by Fury.

As if the universe knew her predicament, her cell phone pinged with a notification from the group chat…

… Maybe the other Avengers could help.

As life flies by, I’m not sure  How I’m gonna do this all again, again  So line by line, I write this down And I just try to find the end, the end And all I know…

An hour passed from when Theo left the Emergency Department to when she strolled into the waiting room. Unlike the emergency department, which prioritized practicality and utilitarianism over aesthetics in its design, the rest of the hospital — where patients and their families passed through, at least — looked more like they were a part of a luxury hotel. 

Of course, since Tony Stark paid for everything, his preferences shined in the design: waiting areas were furnished with minimalistic furniture in muted, yet soothing shades of blues, greens, and grays. The nurses stations featured crisp, white stone countertops with faint gray veins that flowed across the surface. Overhead, modern light fixtures of varying shapes and sizes illuminated every nook and cranny. What appeared to be espresso-stained hardwood floors were actually made of a special antimicrobial, non-slip material — one of the few signs that they were in a hospital. 

Theo scanned the groups of seating around the waiting room. According to the group chat most of the team had set up shop together, working on post-attack reports and following up on various leads as they waited for updates on Loki’s surgery. It didn’t take long for her to spot Natasha, who waved as Theo approached. 

As expected, Natasha was far from alone: Bucky sat close enough beside her that their shoulders brushed, while Sam sat on Bucky’s other side. Peter had sprawled out on the floor, lanky legs stretched out in front of him with his laptop on his lap. Wanda curled up with Vision on a nearby loveseat, her head resting on his shoulder while he kept a comforting hand on her thigh. Yelena sat with her legs curled underneath her on the chair, holding her phone like she had just been scrolling through TikTok. Shuri sat next to Yelena, using an end table to hold a holographic display as she used her computer to modify what looked like an invention of some kind.  

“You know that we’re only going to be here for a few hours, not a few days, right?” Sam arched an eyebrow at the pair of oversized duffel bags Theo carried, practically bursting at the seams from the amount of stuff she shoved inside.

“You’re going to be here for a few hours,” Theo replied, dropping the bag to the floor before taking the nearest open seat, “but I’m probably going to be here for a few days.”

Sam’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Why?”

“When I called Thor to let him know what was going on, he asked if I could stay with Loki until he gets back to Earth… which it sounds like will be in two or three days.”

“So Thor asked you to stay with Loki?” Bucky clarified, narrowing his eyes at Theo as if he was looking for something more.

”I think it was one of those things where he was freaking out because he didn’t want his brother to be alone, and since I was the one on the phone at that time, I ended up being the person he asked,” Theo shrugged. “It’s probably a good thing — I can be the point of contact for updates and relaying information back and forth, and I can still work on stuff while I’m there. Besides, with the number of times Loki has dealt with me being a literal shit show, I think I owe him at least a few days of waiting on him hand and foot.”

“Okay, fine, but are we going to talk about how you packed more for three days than most people pack for a month?” Shuri teased, eyeing the bags. “Those are about to burst!”

“In my defense, most of it isn’t for me!” Theo confessed, her cheeks inexplicably burning. “I stopped by Loki’s suite and the gift shop to grab some stuff that I thought he might want or would make him more comfortable and a bit less miserable, at least until Thor gets back.”

“Pretty sure just having you around will make him less miserable,” Natasha wryly pointed out, eyes glittering as she smirked at Theo. 

Theo shot Natasha with a skeptical glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’d gut everyone in this room before he’d admit it,” Yelena replied with an expression identical to Natasha’s; for a lack of shared DNA, they certainly acted like sisters. “But he has a soft spot for you.” 

“Yeah,“ Peter chimed in, “You’re definitely his favorite person on the team—“ 

“Mm,” Theo shook her head, “I’m pretty sure that’s Thor—”

“—Fine, you’re his favorite human on the team,” Natasha replied.

“I think you’re overselling it, but whatever.” Theo rolled her eyes and laughed it off, though her pulse quickened at the thought. First Thor, now the others — was there something that Theo hadn’t noticed? “Soft spot or not, Thor said Loki wouldn’t be happy about being in the hospital, but he didn’t really explain what that meant… any idea about what I should expect?”

“Well, I haven’t seen him in the hospital,” Wanda replied, her expression thoughtful, “but when he gets sick he’s pretty cranky... Like he’s in one of his moods.”

“Okay, so three days of him grouching at me over anything and everything,” Theo nodded. Behind her unfazed expression, she wondered how much worse it would be since they were mid-argument. “Well, it could be worse.” 

“At least you’re prepared for him to be grouchy,” Yelena muttered, earning a snort of laughter from Shuri. 

“He’ll probably be doped up on pain meds though,” Sam offered, “so he may be too stoned to be cranky.”

“That’ll probably piss him off more,” Bucky quickly shook his head, scowling at Sam. “Losing control of yourself messes with your head, even after you’re back to normal. After what he went through, with Thanos? I bet it stirs up some really messed up emotions. Getting pissed off would be understandable.”

Oh… shit. Theo hadn’t even considered that possibility.

“If you need a break, let me know,” Wanda offered, the gold flecks in her irises catching the light as she gave Theo a small, understanding smile that made Theo wonder if she let her nonplussed demeanor slip.  ”I can switch with you for a bit.” 

“Thanks — Val’s planning to fly out here tomorrow, so I’m betting she’d also trade out,” Theo said, careful to make sure she didn't show any more signs that there were other reasons to worry. “but it’s good to know I have options.” 

Hopefully, though, she wouldn’t need them…

I never thought I would wake up in bed Watching the world coming down on my head I’d sleep like a dog if you would never have said This is the world coming down on your head

Switching roles from doctor to patient was strange, but manageable. 

Switching from doctor to support person was much, much harder.

Waiting for updates was perhaps even worse when Theo knew all the possible complications and the worst outcomes, all of which might be happening at that moment and she would be none the wiser. When the estimated time they were supposed to get an update came and went without a word, Theo found herself trying to silence the worried voices in her head as she tried to reassure the others that delays were not in and of themselves cause for concern: more often than not, they stemmed from administrative matters, such as putting in post-op orders for the current patient, or the surgeon may have been on their way to give the update when they were pulled aside to consult on an emergent patient. 

The eventual appearance of the receptionist, inviting the group to a nearby conference room and promising the surgeon would be there shortly, either meant the news was bad, or the patient was of a high-enough profile that extra privacy was crucial. 

Likely the latter, but that didn’t stop Theo from considering the former as a distinct possibility.

The group had barely settled into the cramped conference room — not meant to hold almost a dozen people — when Dr. Zergaw arrived, closely followed by Helen.

Dr. Zergaw, the surgeon in charge of Loki’s operation, smiled warmly at the group as she greeted them and introduced herself, her deep brown eyes and gentle voice giving no sign of concern. She must have taken time to change out of her surgical attire, wearing a fresh set of green scrubs with a white overcoat that contrasted her ebony hair, which she kept braided back in small, neat rows.

Helen’s presence made sense, as she consulted on any case involving non-human patients; similar to Dr. Zergaw, she lacked any of the tells Theo could expect when bad news was to follow.

Together, the doctors affirmed that everything went well; though Loki would be admitted to the ICU, it was so they could monitor him closely in case of complications related to hypovolemic shock. All-in-all, as long as he took it easy, the road to recovery would be smooth.

Visiting hours had long passed by then, so the rest of the Avengers returned to the residential part of the tower while Dr. Zergaw walked with Theo to Loki’s room. Along the way, the surgeon filled her in on the technical details of the procedure that she wouldn’t typically share with patients or their families. Too much jargon could be intimidating and cause unnecessary worry, but with a fellow doctor it was a chance to nerd out, especially since Loki’s biology differed slightly from operating on a human.

Except… Theo couldn’t help the discomfort that roiled in her stomach as she learned just how narrowly they avoided a much worse outcome. It was one thing to talk shop, but when it was someone she cared about, she almost wished she had remained in the dark.

The late hour meant the halls were quiet as they entered the unit, other than the occasional squeak of nurses’ rubber soled shoes on the floor and the random chime of an IV pump that needed its settings adjusted. 

It wasn’t until they were nearly at the end of the hall that Theo could hear anyone speaking.

“Big cough— there you go. You’re okay. Alright, deep breath through your nose…”

Dr. Zergaw’s pace slowed, coming to a stop in front of the last door in the hallway. The metal and glass door hadn’t been completely closed, allowing for parts of the conversation inside to be heard from the hall.

”Can you tell me your name and birthday? … Good, good. Wiggle your toes for me— great. And squeeze my hands… great.”

“He’s inside,” Dr. Zergaw gestured to the door, “sounds like the nurses are in with him now, but you should be able to go in. Let me know if you have questions.”

After thanking the doctor, Theo drew in a deep breath, braced herself for any number of scenarios, and slipped inside. She turned around as she carefully closed the steel-framed door, the latch sliding into place with a muffled click. Her eyes flicked up to the frosted glass inlay, focusing on the individual, almost granular specks worn into the material from the etching process. She released a slow, measured exhale, then spun back around. 

The room was far more spacious than the typical hospital room, closer in size and arrangement to a hotel suite or a studio apartment than a hospital room. All it took was a quick glance to know that the same design philosophy found within the waiting areas and public-facing areas of the hospital applied here: minimalist furniture upholstered in soothing blues and greens, white stone countertops, varying light sources that could all be brightened or dimmed as needed, and flourishes of cool-toned woods throughout.

Ahead of Theo, positioned so the head of the bed was against the wall on her right, was Loki’s hospital bed. Flanking each side of the bed was a nurse, too busy tending to Loki to notice Theo’s arrival. 

When Theo finally laid eyes on Loki, she froze.  

Sure, his complexion no longer rivaled a ghost, but he was still so pale he practically blended into the sheets, except for where he had cuts or bruises that marred his usually pristine skin. Instead of piercing green eyes that noticed every little detail, he looked around from beneath heavy lashes with a cloudy, vacant stare. Somehow, it looked like the hospital bed swallowed him whole.

Eventually, Theo ripped her eyes away from Loki, instead watching the nurses. A copper-haired nurse with a dusting of freckles across her cheeks adjusted the settings and labeling tubes on the dozen IV pumps mounted at the bedside. She barely looked old enough to legally drink, yet moved with such practiced ease and familiarity that she must have been a veteran on the unit.

The other nurse – a short, plump woman with terra-cotta skin and streaks of silver interspersed in her dark hair – focused her attention on Loki. She wore the type of gentle, caring smile that often came with years of experience tending to others; at least the nurses assigned to Loki’s care seemed like they were up to the task. 

“... You already had surgery. Everything went really well. We brought you to your room while you were still sleeping,” she explained to Loki in a low, calming voice, resting a comforting hand on his arm. “We’re going to keep a close watch and make sure you’re comfortable while you heal. All you need to do is relax and get some rest, okay?” 

Loki’s gaze meandered up to the nurse, staring blankly at her for a few moments before his brows slowly drew together, and he frowned.

“Thor…?” Loki mumbled, voice raspy enough that he winced at the sound. “Where’s… Thor?”

“He’s on his way—“ Theo spoke up, alerting the rest of the room to her presence. The nurses watched Theo approach, both raising a curious brow when they noticed the jam-packed bags that Theo carried. Loki, however, didn’t notice Theo’s presence until she stopped at the foot of the bed. When he finally looked at her, she offered him a small smile, praying that she looked more confident than she felt. “He’s going to be here as soon as he can.”

“… Oh,” Loki diverted his attention, staring down at the blankets; he swallowed thickly, the sharp angle of his jaw shifting as if the movement brought discomfort.

“We’ll take great care of you, your highness,” the nurse who had been adjusting his IVs assured him. “Is there anything we can get you?”

No.” Loki barely shook his head, instead closing his eyes; despite acting like he intended to go back to sleep, the tension in his facial expression remained. 

While the nurses raised the bed rails and reminded Loki of the call button, Theo dropped the pair of duffel bags on the couch, then moved an armchair closer to Loki’s bedside and took a seat. She watched the nurses leave, waiting for the click of the door latching shut before she addressed Loki.

“Hey,” Theo took Loki’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. His skin felt like ice to her touch, stirring up dredges of concern from deep within. “You alright?”

“M’m fine.” A strained exhale followed the short, mumbled answer. “How long…?”

“Until Thor gets here?” Theo ventured, her guess affirmed by a listless nod from Loki. “Not totally sure, but I know he is doing everything he can to get here as soon as possible.”

Even with his eyes wrenched shut, the way Loki’s eyelids twitched, along with the smallest glisten near his lashes, caught Theo’s attention. 

“—That doesn’t mean he’s unreachable though! He has been texting with me ever since he heard the news, constantly asking for updates. We could try FaceTiming him if you want?”

Loki blinked a few times, eventually looking at Theo with a sort of vacant expression that left Theo questioning if Loki understood what she said…

… Damn, he really wasn’t feeling like himself.

After a few moments of Loki continuing to simply stare, Theo pulled her starkpad from her bag and held it up for Loki to see, hoping that the visual would prompt a response.

Finally, Loki gave a small, yet decisive, nod.

“Great, let me just call…“ With a few quick taps, Theo unlocked the tablet and scrolled through her contacts, eventually locating Thor near the bottom of the list.

Hopefully, with the frequency that Thor had been messaging Theo, he’d see the incoming call and would answer right away. Theo wasn’t sure she was prepared for the alternative.

She pressed the call icon.

“Lady Theo—“ Thor answered part-way through the first ring, his answer unleashing a wave of relief within Theo. “—What news do you bring of my brother?”

At the sound of Thor’s voice, Loki’s face softened and crumpled at the same time. He tried to hide his reaction behind one hand, but it only made the response more obvious. Yet another knot tied itself tighter in Theo’s chest.

“Someone just woke up and asked for you—” Theo explained as she set the tablet on the over-bed table so Loki could easily see Thor, and vice-versa, removing herself from line of sight. “—So I thought we could give you a call and you two could chat.”

“Loki!” Even without seeing Thor’s expression, his relief came through the device clear as day. “How are you feeling?”

“I—“ Loki cut himself off, almost like he wanted to tamp down his honesty. “…Thor.”

An undercurrent of panic flowed through his response. 

Thor replied with something in what Theo could only assume was Asgardian, and Loki responded in turn, this time without the previous hesitancy. Between Thor’s hushed, smooth tone and Loki’s hitched breaths and shaky responses, Theo had a pretty good idea of what was going on: Loki was on the verge of an anxiety attack, and Thor was helping him through it. Based on Loki’s physical cues and the change in language, Theo decided the best thing she could do was step back and let them have some privacy. 

So, with Loki fully focused on the tablet in front of him, Theo cautiously rose from her seat, crept over to the duffel bags, and began to unpack. Unpacking was the perfect task for the moment: it gave Theo something to focus on that wasn’t the video call, but it kept her close by in case anything came up. Plus, she wouldn’t have to worry about waking up Loki with the sound of opening doors or drawers as she familiarized herself with the room and its amenities.

And, though she wouldn’t admit it, unpacking everything meant no one else could give her a hard time about everything she brought with her. After all, most of it wasn’t even for her, though what she brought was based on her own experience and knowledge of what actually was helpful to have and what was nice in theory, but didn’t really help.

After unzipping the first duffel bag, Theo looked around to get a sense of her storage options. Two seating areas flanked the hospital bed. The couch where Theo had dropped the duffel bags was on one side, accompanied by a coffee table and lightweight armchairs that created a large seating area equipped to host visitors. Theo retrieved the few things she took from Loki’s suite – books he was reading, his starkpad, various charging cords, headphones – and set them on the coffee table for the moment, since the over-bed table was in use.

On the opposite side of the bed, a pair of reclining armchairs sat close enough to converse with a patient, yet out of the path of traffic; the perfect place to stash the collection of bedding Theo picked up at the gift shop, knowing how much they helped make the bed more comfortable. Theo carefully stacked the varying shapes and sizes of pillows on the seat of a recliner, then draped the half-folded fleece blankets across the back. Once Loki felt a bit more calm she’d offer the additional bedding, but if he wanted them before Theo could offer, they’d be easy for her to grab.

Across from the bed, most of the wall was made up of a pair of floor to ceiling pocket doors in a lighter espresso wood; however, the parts that weren’t the doors offered shelves and drawers for storage, and a small workstation with a chair tucked in along the wall. 

Guessing that Loki would want to change out of the hospital gown as soon as possible, Theo made sure to purchase a couple sets of pajamas that were easy to change into while allowing easy access to injuries and IV sites. She had debated bringing some from his suite, but  the idea of rifling through his closet seemed a bit too invasive; she did, however, double check with FRIDAY to make sure she bought the correct sizes. She also bought a robe and slippers with grippy soles, since they could be used even before ditching the hospital gown. 

Theo folded the pajamas and set them on one of the shelves, then repeated the process with the robe. The slippers were placed beside the robe so everything was in one convenient location.

Before she continued, Theo stopped to check out the flat-screen TV mounted in the corner, angled down towards the patient bed. From a quick glance at the mount, it looked like it would be easy to move around; though she didn’t touch it, Theo made a mental note in case they needed to adjust it later. 

Theo walked over to the pocket doors, sliding them open to reveal a second seating area with couch and armchairs that matched the furniture in the other half of the room, as well as a dining area that seated up to four people and a kitchenette, complete with sink, mini fridge, electric kettle, and microwave. She thought back to the day Helen and Julie showed her around: 

“One of the important aspects of patient-centered care is incorporating friends and family into visits,” Helen had said, opening a similar set of doors to reveal that each room wasn’t just a room, but a suite. “This design allows loved ones to be close by without having to cram into one room. It also gives loved ones a respite, and lets them easily access some basic comforts while navigating a stressful situation.”

Theo had been impressed by the amenities when she first learned about them; now, she was grateful for them. Along with a water bottle for Loki, Theo set her own water bottle on the counter by the sink with plans to fill it up once everything was put away.

All the while, Theo toed the line between eavesdropping and ignorance as best she could. As much as she wanted to allow the brothers some privacy, she also needed to pay attention in case they needed her for something - after all, Thor didn’t need any more reasons to worry about Loki while he was gone, and an inattentive caretaker would certainly be cause for concern. 

With most of Loki’s stuff taken care of, she switched to unpacking her own stuff. She set her own books and her laptop next to Loki’s on the coffee table, then ducked around the furniture to plug in the chargers she’d need for her assorted devices. Rather than pull all of her clothes out of the second duffel, Theo stuck the entire thing in the drawer beneath Loki’s pajamas. If she really felt ambitious she could actually take stuff out of the bag later, but for the moment she just wanted her stuff out of the way.

Theo slipped into the bathroom, fully expecting to linger just long enough to drop off the bags of toiletries she retrieved from her go-bag and from Loki’s go-bag, only to be stopped in her tracks by the room before her. 

…Not only was the bathroom the nicest hospital bathroom she’d ever seen, it might have been even nicer than her own bathroom.

A large bathtub that looked like it came straight from Architectural Digest stood as the focal point of the room, offering the option of hydrotherapy while cleverly disguising the signs that the tub had been designed for side access and patients with limited mobility. A separate shower stood nearby, sectioned off by a floor-to-ceiling pane of glass. Porcelain, ceramic, and engineered marble finishes in shades of white and soft gray coordinated seamlessly with the matte black faucets, shower head, and grab bars, while espresso wood from the shower bench and a shelving unit by the bathtub gave the room a sleek, spa-like feel.

When Theo finally got herself back together, she plopped both bags of toiletries on the marble counter, tucked away in a back corner so they wouldn’t get in the way or knocked onto the floor. 

Just before she left, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and paused. The tender spot on her cheek had already begun to darken, a patch of indigo rising to the surface of her swollen skin. Good thing she didn’t have any public appearances or photoshoots planned, because that bruise was going to get worse before it got better. Heavy bags sagged beneath her bloodshot eyes. If that was how bad she looked after freshening up, she could only imagine how rough she must have looked before.

The only things left in the remaining duffel bag were Theo’s blanket and pillow, which she had swiped from her own couch. She took the remaining items from the last duffel bag, tucked the empty bag away, and then set about preparing her own spot to sleep. 

The couch that Theo initially set the duffel bags on could transform into a bed by moving a couple parts. Behind the couch, a wall of windows extended to the ceiling, framed by two sets of curtains: one set of pale gray sheer drapes, the other made of heavy, sage green velour meant to block out all light. Outside was a clear view of the New York skyline, city lights glistening in the dead of night. 

Lacking the patience to properly convert the couch into a bed, Theo simply tossed her pillow on the far end of the couch, then laid out her own blanket across the cushions. Maybe she’d regret it in the morning, but given she wasn’t even sure she would have a chance to sleep, she didn’t fret too much about it.

Just as Theo finished straightening her blanket, the sound of Thor calling her name caught her attention. She turned around to check just in time for Thor to call her name again, prompting Theo to check in on the brothers. 

She crept over to the bed, only to find that Loki had dozed off; unsurprising, since the anesthesia was still wearing off and he had some extremely heavy pain meds in his system. Even in his sleep, his brows pinched together and left a small crease on his forehead, and he wore a slight frown. On the tablet screen, Thor peered from side to side as he repeated Theo’s name.

“Hey,“ Theo kept her voice low as she picked up the tablet. She slipped into the other room and cracked the doors so she could converse without disturbing Loki, but also keep an eye on him. “Sorry, I wanted to give you two some privacy, so I was just—“

“—Thank you for calling me—“ Thor began, but faltered. “I— I hesitate to think of what might have transpired had you not.”

“Is he okay?”

“For now…” Through the tablet screen, storms brewed behind Thor’s sapphire eyes. “I suspect you will have a long night ahead.” 

That wasn’t promising. 

“Can I call you again if—”

“—Of course.” Thor answered with such speed that Theo wondered if they’d been through a situation like this before. 

“If I can’t reach you, is there anything I can do to help him feel better?”

Thor let out a trembling breath of his own; he looked at something off-screen, lost in thought. “Our mother — Frigga — when Loki was small, if he fell ill, Frigga was the only one who could console him. In these moments, I try to comfort Loki as Frigga once comforted him. I am nowhere near as successful, unfortunately.” A bittersweet smile appeared. “Alas, you never met her, so I am not sure that my ramblings are of much use.”

“It’s okay,” Theo said, a familiar ache settling within her ribs. “I get it. I miss my family when I don’t feel well, too.”

Thor hummed quietly, nodding to himself.

“She would have liked you—” He remarked, almost absentmindedly. “—Frigga, that is.”

“From what Loki tells me, she sounded like an amazing woman.”

“Indeed…” Thor sighed — a heavy, weary sigh — then brought his focus back to Theo. “Forgive me, my lady. I should let you go.”

“Okay. I’ll keep you updated on how Loki’s doing, but really— feel free to call or text if you need me or have questions.”

It only took three more assurances that Theo was happy to help and that Thor could contact her any time if he had questions before Theo was able to end the call with Thor and return to her chair beside Loki. 

She understood Thor’s anxieties; if Mémère or Max were sick or injured and Theo couldn’t be there, she’d be downright inconsolable. Mémère had been her rock for most of her life, and though she and Max often gave each other headaches, they had been through so much together that not even an apocalypse could tear them apart. For better or worse, they were the family she had left — she lost everyone else.

And though it had been years since they last saw each other, Theo still missed her sister more than anyone else whenever she got sick.

You gave it to me, I remember it read And you’ve got the world coming down on your head There’s nothing to fight for, it’s already dead And this is the world coming down on your head

Nights spent in a hospital were nothing new.

Working in Emergency Medicine, nights were a standard part of the role — just like working holidays, weekends, and any other time any sane person would prefer to be out living their best life. Even in its quietest hour, the ED never offered a truly dull moment; if anything, nights were just as busy as days, if not even more busy.

Nights in the ED weren’t the only nights Theo had spent in the hospital, though. When Katie was born, Theo spent the night with Max and Ellie, coaching Ellie to push and watching her vitals like a hawk. Once, Mémère had to have a small surgery, and Theo spent the entire night trying to keep the stubborn old woman from getting up on her own and setting off the bed alarm. And of course, there were the times Theo’s asthma had gotten the best of her, and Theo spent the night alternating between nebulizers and oxygen, constantly waking herself up with coughing.

All of that to say, Theo was used to nights in the hospital where things weren’t so… quiet. 

Outside, the world was asleep; the night seemed never-ending, shadows of skyscrapers outside the window stretching out toward the horizon. But In Loki’s room, time felt suspended. A soft glow emitted from the bedside monitor, matched by the pale moonlight filtering in through the window. The light in the hallway shone beneath the door, accompanied by the occasional nurse's footsteps; however, it did little to illuminate the room. 

It wasn’t long after talking to Thor and Theo had returned to her place at Loki’s side that her attention shifted to studying the various devices that Loki was connected to.

Due to the severity of shock and the monitoring required for treatment, Theo was not at all surprised to see the central line in his neck, the collection of catheters trailing from IV pumps beneath the blankets to various parts of his body, and the arterial line in his wrist, which had been splinted to prevent any kinks in the tubing. Nor was she surprised by the clear oxygen cannula running beneath his nose, ECG sensors peeking out from beneath his hospital gown to monitor his heart, or the mountain of blankets covering most of his body, likely fresh from the blanket warmer to counteract the chill that came from spending hours in the operating room.

In a strange way, Theo was almost grateful that she was the one with Loki. Given Thor’s reaction to the phone call and the video chat, seeing Loki in person, with all the tubes and wires, was practically a guarantee that all of New York would be subjected to brutal storms as the God of Thunder veritably freaked out…

Theo, at least, understood the procedures, the diagnostics, the nursing interventions; she did not have fear of the unknown exacerbating her concern for her friend.

… Not that Theo was content to see Loki in such bad shape. Loki was a fucking God; it wasn’t even supposed to be possible for him to be seriously injured. The Loki before Theo was a far cry from the wry, sharp-witted man whose strength carried her through her low moments. It just wasn’t right. 

As she ruminated on the circumstances, Theo watched Loki’s face, noting the faint, barely noticeable furrow between his brows. Even in sleep, he seemed like he was carrying something—perhaps the weight of the attack, or the effects of the surgery, or maybe something deeper, something Theo couldn’t understand. 

Every so often, Loki’s chest would rise and fall with a deeper breath, his face softening in sleep as if his discomfort slipped away completely. Each time, Theo prayed that peaceful expression would remain, only to be disappointed when the tension returned. 

After what felt like both a moment and a lifetime, Loki stirred, a small, soft groan escaping his lips as he shifted under the blankets. Theo leaned forward instinctively, her hand hovering near the side of the bed, ready to adjust the blanket or call for a nurse.

As if Loki sensed Theo’s presence, he tilted his head toward her, brows drawn together as he blinked slowly, trying to shake the hold of unconsciousness. 

“Hey,” Theo greeted him with a gentle smile. “How’re you feeling?”

A moment of silence passed before Loki’s attention turned towards Theo; he looked at her through cloudy eyes, though he did look a bit confused.

“Thor…?” Loki mumbled, blearily scanning the room for his brother. “Where’s Thor?”

He didn’t remember.

It was probably the anesthetic still working its way out of his system, but for a moment Theo wondered if his concussion was worse than initially thought.

“He’s on his way – he’s going to be here as soon as he can,” Theo replied, injecting as much comfort into her tone as she could. She slipped both her hands around his closest hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she softly smiled at him. “How’re you feeling?”

“I—“ Loki frowned at Theo, searching within her eyes with an increasing panic for something unknown. “I— I don’t recall….”

“… What happened?” Theo finished the question for Loki; he replied with a small, hesitant nod. “There was an attack of shadow creatures on Times Square. We stopped it, but you were hurt—“

“—Is Thor alright?” Fear overwhelmed the question; before Theo could stop him, Loki tried to sit up, only to collapse back onto the bed with a sharp groan, eyes wrenched shut and face twisted in distress as he clutched his injured side. 

“Whoa whoa — Thor is safe!” Theo blurted out, eyes wide and her own heart racing in her chest. She swooped up from her chair and sat on the edge of the bed, lightly pressing down on Loki’s shoulders with just enough pressure so he’d focus on her without injuring him; she barely bit back the wince from the sudden pressure against her bruised hand.

“Thor—“

“Thor is safe,” Theo repeated firmly, locking eyes with Loki. "He was off-planet when it happened. He’s on his way back and will be here as soon as he can.”

After a beat, Loki relaxed slightly beneath her touch and his breathing calmed. Even though he still looked like he was pretty shaken up, at least he wasn’t about to try and bolt on her.

“You need to take it easy and stay in bed,” Theo continued, “You only got out of surgery a few hours ago; trying to move around too much will only aggravate your injuries.”

“… Why don’t I—”

“—Remember? It’s just the anesthesia from surgery wearing off,” Theo reassured, keeping her concerns about his concussion to herself. The last thing either of them needed was to freak Loki out any further. “It can make you temporarily forget things, but that’s normal; the memories will come back once it’s all out of your system.”

Loki closed his eyes; his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his jaw muscles tensing in anxious restraint.

“Hey,” Theo caught Loki’s attention once more by smoothing back his hair. With her other hand, she pried his non-braced hand away from his side, laying it next and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I know it’s a lot to process, but you’re safe, Thor’s safe, and he’s going to be here soon. Until then, I’m going to stay with you, okay?”

Though the fear remained in Loki’s eyes, he let out a trembling breath and weakly nodded. 

The sound of the door opening drew both Theo and Loki’s attention, turning towards the entrance just in time for a nurse to walk in. She held a bag filled with clear liquid, labeled with details regarding the contents inside – one of the components Theo recognized as potent pain medicine. 

With a final squeeze of Loki’s hand, Theo released her grip and returned to her chair, giving the nurse space to work. Loki watched Theo, his lips pressed into a thin line and brows slightly pinched. If Theo didn’t know better, she’d have thought Loki seemed a bit upset that she let go. 

Then again, he wasn’t exactly feeling like himself, so maybe he was upset.

The nurse went through her routine questions while disconnecting an empty fluid bag with an identical label and replacing it with the fresh bag. Loki answered with short, wary replies — a sharp departure from his usual demeanor— but he correctly answered the questions meant to test his cognitive function, so that was a good thing. Once the new bag of fluids had been hooked up, the nurse ensured everything was in its proper place before departing. 

Once the door clicked shut, Theo turned back to Loki, who had returned to watching Theo with a guarded, yet dazed expression.

“You alright?”

”M’m quite alright,” Loki’s attempt to feign confidence failed, betrayed by his shaky inhale and quivering lower lip. “Why would I not be?”

“Waking up in the hospital can feel pretty overwhelming for anyone, especially if the person you want to have with you isn’t able to be there.” Theo offered what she hoped was a soft, reassuring smile. “It’s okay if you’re anxious or upset. You don’t have to put on a brave face.”

Loki exhaled sharply. “How long until Thor will be here?” His voice strained at the question, while the muscles in his jaw tensed even further.

“He thinks it’ll be two days before they’re back— But you won’t be alone — I’m going to stay with you until Thor’s back, okay?” She reminded Loki, hoping it would at least placate him for the moment. “Val’s flying out tomorrow morning and should be here in the afternoon as well.”

“Val’s coming?” Despite mumbling, his surprise came through crystal clear.

“Yeah,” Theo rested her other hand atop Loki’s, effectively enveloping his hand within hers. Though his palm had begun to absorb some of her warmth, the back of his hand remained frigid. “We‘ll both be here. And until Thor gets back, we can FaceTime him whenever you want.”

Within the cocoon of Theo’s touch, Loki‘s hand gradually shifted, turning until his fingers could slip themselves between Theo’s. The simple movement seemed like it took all of his effort; his attempt to squeeze Theo’s hand came off as little more than a twitch of his fingers. The tense muscles in his expression softened as his eyes drifted shut, and the rise and fall of his chest began to slow. 

Other than the occasional brush of her thumb across the side of his hand, Theo didn’t dare move until she knew Loki was well and truly asleep — he needed the rest in order to heal, and it seemed like he needed the reassurance that he wouldn’t be alone; having the presence of touch went a long way towards giving the comfort it seemed like he needed.

After a few minutes, the tension had evaporated from Loki’s expression; paired with his even, slow breaths, all signs pointed to Loki being well and truly asleep. 

By that point, the cold that originally plagued Loki had vanished, replaced by the warmth from Theo’s skin; the thought stirred a certain softness within Theo, bringing a small smile to her face.

She slipped her hands from Loki’s and reached up, lightly caressing his face with the back of her fingers in what was half a gesture of comfort, and half a temperature check; a similar chill lingered, but she could do something about that.

Theo silently rose to her feet. She crept over to the recliner where she set out the extra bedding, retrieving the blanket. As she unfolded the blanket, Theo paused for a moment, rubbing the pad of her thumb along the plush, charcoal-colored material. One side of the blanket was made of velour, while the other side was a thick, shaggy fleece, similar to a faux fur in length but different in texture — it was far softer than any faux fur Theo had seen. The combination gave the blanket a surprising heft to it, which was perfect for staving off any cold or chill.

Spreading the blanket across the bed, Theo remained careful not to wake Loki in the process. She pulled the fabric up around his neck and shoulders so only his head remained visible, then retrieved one of the hospital’s blankets from a nearby drawer and carefully draped it to create a sort of hood around his head.

For good measure, Theo snuck over to the room’s thermostat and cranked up the heat; even if it meant she’d be sweating, it was a small price to pay for Loki’s comfort. 

The final product was almost amusing: Loki, so fully tucked in beneath blankets that only his face remained visible amidst a sea of fleece. If someone were to quickly glance at him, they might not see the oxygen tubing that sat beneath his nose, which had become the only visible medical device because of how thoroughly he was covered up. Without being able to see the catheters, bandages, and monitors, he no longer looked like he barely survived; instead, he simply looked exhausted.

With nothing else to do, she slouched back in her chair, idly twirling the end of her braid with one hand as she stared off into nothing. The longer she sat, the harder she fought not to dwell on the glimpses of the handler that did this and then escaped…After all, she could let her imagination run away with possibilities, but nothing her mind could conjure would get her any closer to learning the truth. Besides, the vague familiarities were at best coincidences, and at worst tricks of her mind.

A faint grunt brought Theo back to the present. In his sleep, Loki grimaced, only for it to smooth out a moment later. 

Was he in pain, or dreaming?

Theo watched his expression for signs that might point her in one direction or another, but Loki’s stillness made her think that whatever it was, it must have passed. 

Left alone with her restless thoughts, Theo only made it a few minutes before she admitted to herself that if didn’t find something to prevent her from overanalyzing every little detail of what transpired, she was going to lose her mind. She needed a distraction.

In the stack of books Theo brought with her, one caught her eye: The Little Prince. A children’s book among high fantasies, dwarfed in size by the other books, and with a light, minimal design on the book’s spine that contrasted the ornate, dark artwork adorning the others, the French novella quite literally stood out in just about every way imaginable…

… And it was just what Theo wanted.

After extracting the text from beneath a stack of Robert Jordan, Brandon Sanderson, and Joe Abercrombie, Theo settled back into her seat, cast a charm to make what essentially was a book light, and opened the book to the first page.

The familiar illustrations of a snake wrapped around a mouse (preparing to swallow it), the outline of the snake that ate an elephant, and the drawing of the elephant inside the snake greeted Theo like an old friend, lamenting the lack of imagination and general disillusionment with adults.

Theo could practically recite the book from memory, having read it countless times throughout her life. Beyond serving as an effective distraction when Theo needed to redirect her thoughts, the book offered enough depth that she still found something new to ponder with each additional readthrough, but wasn’t so heavy that she had to set aside time to read, fully investing her attention and avoiding distractions so she didn’t miss crucial information.

That night, it was exactly what she needed.

When will it all end?  When will it all end? One of you moves,  the others follow you

Thor’s prediction about a long night did not come to fruition… At least, not because of Loki. 

Though Loki woke up a couple more times, it was because a nurse needed to complete a neuro check to make sure his concussion wasn’t worse than they initially believed. Every couple hours, they woke him up long enough to ask a few questions and have him perform a few tasks, but he always fell back asleep immediately after they finished. If he noticed Theo sitting there, he didn’t say or do anything.

Theo, however, remained wide awake the entire night, jumping at every slight rustle of blankets or unexpected noise from Loki, in case it was the start of another panic. Each time the nurses woke Loki, Theo caught herself white-knuckling as she tugged on her braid, bracing for the worst.

In between, Theo’s mind spun with questions about who could have done this to him, troubling her to the extent that even if Loki was perfectly content and doing well, Theo wouldn’t have slept a wink.

Not long after the first signs of dawn crested over the horizon, a text came from Wanda.

“Want coffee or breakfast?”

Theo nearly jumped out of her seat at the vibration of her phone, but the message (and the offer) were a pleasant surprise after a long night. If she had any hope of being productive or useful, she’d certainly need all the caffeine she could get. 

A couple hours later, visiting hours began; not even a minute later, Wanda arrived with a giant paper cup labeled ‘shot in the dark’ and a paper bag containing a scone for Theo, and a mug with the words ‘London Fog’ scribbled on the side for herself.

“You look exhausted,” Wanda remarked, handing Theo her drink and the brown paper bag containing the scone. “Did you sleep?”

Theo nearly laughed out loud, but clapped her hand over her mouth before the sound could escape. “That obvious, huh?”

“Explains why you wanted caffeine to go with your caffeine - seriously, drip coffee with multiple shots of espresso added in?” Wanda quietly teased as she set Theo’s unused pillow aside, then settled in on the couch. “Do you hate yourself?”

“It got me through med school and residency, and it’s going to get me through until Thor gets back,” Theo joked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Did he sleep?” She tilted her head towards Loki, who hadn’t stirred in the thirty minutes since the last neuro check.

Theo sighed. “More than I did, but I don’t know how restful it was. They had to wake him up every couple hours and do tests to make sure his concussion wasn’t worse than initially thought,” she said. “It didn’t help that he couldn’t remember what happened, so there were a couple times where he woke up and freaked out because Thor wasn’t there - we ended up FaceTiming Thor at one point because he was so freaked out. It hit a point where every time they came in to wake him up, I had Thor’s info pulled up in case we needed to call him.” 

“…So he kept you awake?”

“I knew that was a possibility when I agreed to be here,” Theo half-heartedly shrugged. “I don’t think I would have slept much anyway, though.”

Wanda frowned. “Why not?”

“A couple things happened yesterday,” Theo stole a glance at Loki, checking to make sure the conversation hadn’t woken him up. “Now’s not the time to talk about it, though”

Wanda’s gaze followed, pausing for a moment when it landed on Loki. She hummed, flecks of gold in her irises glittering as she narrowed her eyes. “Something with…?”

Yes. “Eh…” Theo shook her head. “…More the person who did this to him.” 

“It was a handler, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah—“ Theo drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, buying herself a moment to gather her thoughts. “I’ve seen plenty of shadow creatures, but I’ve never seen these people. And to have them appear twice in such a short time period…”

“Something bigger is at play,” Wanda concluded.

“Yeah, and if they can do this to a god,” Theo gestured at Loki, who slept like the dead, “what does that mean for the rest of us?”

I never thought I would wake up in bed Watching the world coming down on my head I’d sleep like a dog if you would never have said This is the world coming down on your head I’m not gonna swallow the lie that I’m fed ‘Cause I want the world coming down on my head I’m just gonna find out you’re already dead And I was the world coming down on your head…

——

Author’s note: oh hey, it has been *checks calendar* uh, a lot longer than I initially expected this to take! Thanks for your patience as I’ve continued to plug away on this story amidst a hectic year (for so many reasons). I work on this story pretty much every day, although I am not one to write in order so it’s not always working on the next chapter… All of this to say, even if I vanish for a while, it’s not for lack of inspiration! After three years of these two living rent-free in my head, I think they’re here for good, and I need to finish this story so help me god.  It’s just that life is busy and I’m squeezing in writing/making sure plot points line up whenever I can. I also spend more time than I probably should looking for the perfect songs for each chapter, since I want them not only to connect to the scenes themselves, but the larger narrative and have little Easter eggs/hints about what’s to come 😏

I’m not going to put a date on when the next chapter is coming since I think I’ve written and rewritten chunks of it about a dozen times (lol), but it is well underway and you can look forward to both Loki and Theo POV, as well as lots of Loki/Theo interactions (I feel like we haven’t gotten much of those lately, but I promise they’re coming!!). 

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts/reactions/comments! If you liked it, I’d appreciate it if you'd reblog and share — I am a small tumblr, so my reach is limited... oh! and lmk if you want to be added to my tag list (since I'm a hilariously inconsistent poster these days)

[justanapparatus]

iris by the goo goo dolls came on shuffle at work 12 dead 23 injured

[thepavementsings-archive]

listening to iris by the googoo dolls thinking about the horrors of suzuka last year...

[loverboybrightsideghost]

15 and 21 for music ask!!!!!!

15: A song that is a cover by another artist

i am eternally biased towards clem turner's cover of "i can't handle change" (originally by roar). i heard it first and when i listened to the original it's obviously still really good, but it didn't go as hard for me. especially the part where he goes "i can't help but repeat myself/ i know it's not your fault/ still lately i begin to shake/ for no reason at all" it's just OOH MAN SO GOOD HDJVVFBDBGJDNXND!!!!

21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

hmm. i have to say iris by the googoo dolls bc have you HEARD that song

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

Feeling so fucking emotional about Tim/Steph today, I can’t explain it.😭 I wholly blame Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls!

[sallytwo]

Do you wanna know how far you've come?

id in alt.

[avadmortain]

iris by the goo goo dolls is soooo a du mortain romance coded 😭😭😭

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 20: Who Are Your Friends, Who Are Your Foes?

Summary: The newest addition of shadowy threats, it turns out, are not a one-off occurrence…  

Contents: Fight! Fight! Fight! Canon-typical combat/violence. injuries/Blood/battle whump.

Word Count: 5,422

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Who Are Your Friends? Who Are Your Foes?

Song: Past Life - Lydia

Well, barely made it downtown It's alright, it's alright I bet I met you in a past life But it's your word against mine While you listen to it all at night And while you feel your lungs stretching wide

Sooner or later, Theo knew it was bound to happen: she’d be pulled from the Emergency Department to fight.

She jokingly blamed it on one of the residents saying the ‘Q’ word - that it was a quiet night. The number one rule of working in Emergency Medicine was never point out if it was slow, because then you’d end up absolutely slammed…

… Not even twenty minutes later, an announcement overhead informed the department that all hands were on deck for a massive casualty event in Times Square.

Times Square.

What followed was a tidal wave of organized chaos, adrenaline coursing through everyone’s veins as they prepared for an onslaught of patients. Details were scarce, leaving the medical staff scrambling to ensure they were ready for any number of possibilities.

News of what caused the mass casualty event only reached the ED as they raced to the hangar in preparation of meeting the flight medics.

The shadow creatures were back, and they weren’t alone.

At the news, the ED residents and nurses looked to Theo with wide eyes and the color drained from their skin. Treating the injuries caused by shadow creatures had become more common, but the additional firepower, combined with a massive tourist trap? 

The fear in the air could have been cut with a knife.

As the only one who had seen shadow creatures up close and personal, the attention on Theo came as no surprise. Maybe it was her soccer captain days coming through, but it seemed like a pep-talk would go a long way to reassure her colleagues. So, in the brief moment of calm before the storm, Theo turned to address the group.

“Don’t let yourselves get carried away with imagining what’s out there—” Theo said, careful to keep her own nerves from showing, “—we can't control that. Our job is to help every single person who comes through our doors, as best as we can. They need your full time and attention; we can’t afford to let ourselves get distracted by what’s going on out there. You’ve treated mass casualties before, and you can do it now. Take a deep breath—“ she gestured to the others to take a measured, slow inhale, “— and remember that you’re here for a reason. You’ve got this, okay?”

Nervous exhales, quick head nods, and a few murmurs of agreement came from the group before they split up into assigned teams to make their final preparations.

“Well, A for effort,” Julie lightly teased, approaching Theo’s side and bumping her hip into Theo’s, “could have used a bit more hope and inspiration, though. Maybe something like ‘everything will be alright! The Avengers are on it!’ Or something like that?”

So maybe it wasn’t Theo’s best pep-talk, but it was better than nothing.

“I don’t want to promise anything I don’t know,” Theo turned to face Julie and stepped closer, lowering her voice. “Shadow creatures not being alone makes me nervous, and even with the Avengers fighting it could still get ugly.”

Almost as if on cue, a blur of red and gold zipped through the hangar, slowing down before dramatically flipping around to land in front of Theo. 

“Suit up, Rapunzel —“ The head of the iron man suit folded back; Tony’s brows furrowed and jaw set itself in a sharp line as he spoke.  “—we need all the help we can get.” 

The lack of quips only set Theo further on edge about what they were up against. As it was, Theo had barely been cleared to fight after overextending herself; the prospect of going into something so serious right away only made her more concerned. But there wasn’t a choice, because Tony wouldn’t be standing in front of her if there was. Ready or not, Theo had to fight. 

“Go,” Julie said, the teasing smile from earlier replaced by a face of stony determination as she nodded in agreement with Tony. “If you don’t, we’ll only have even more people to treat. We can handle it here.”

Theo let out a tense breath and gave a quick nod to Julie. “Thanks, Jules. I’ll jump back on once we get back.”

Returning her attention to Tony, Theo raised her left arm and snapped her fingers; at the sound, her scrubs vanished, replaced by the suit of armor carefully crafted by Tony and Shuri. “Ready?”

Tony nodded, his suit reassembling itself to cover his head. “Hold on—“

Theo barely had the chance before Tony grabbed her and flew into the air, his blasters so close that Theo’s feet felt a strange rush of heat as they flew through the city.

Orange flickers of light reflected on the windows of skyscrapers, growing brighter and more intense as they drew near. Interspersed between booming explosions, shrieks of horror and pain echoed through the streets. 

“Hope you’re ready,” Tony said, rounding the corner to reveal the full scale of what they were up against.

Amidst a grid-lock of abandoned cars, explosions flashed throughout, leaving behind flames which roiled up into the night sky with relentless pace. The technicolor lights from the video billboards of the square cast an eerie glow onto the scene, looking like something out of some post-apocalyptic video game Yelena would play…

… or Astonia, on the night of the Massacre.

Theo shook her head, trying to forget the resemblance. She needed to focus, not get caught up in the past.

“Cap, what’s the latest?” Tony called out. He dropped Theo near the edge of the fight, then flew ahead into the fray.

“It’s a mix of shadow beasts, shadow handlers, and humans–” Steve replied between heavy breaths. “Haven’t found a source–”

Shadow handlers, also known as the people who made their debut at their Met Gala. Little progress had been made in regards to identifying who they were, where they came from, or their motive, so for the moment, they were referred to as “handlers.” Theo had some suspicions she kept to herself, however.

“—You bring Theo?” Sam flew overhead, distracting some of the fighters in the street from the newest arrivals.

“Reporting for duty,” Theo replied, conjuring her shadow blade while she assessed the scene to determine her first move. “What’s the plan?”

“Keep the fight contained!” Clint answered through the comms, “We’ve cleared the area, but we have to make sure the fight doesn’t spread.”

Theo barely ventured into the chaos before she came face to face with her first adversary. They clumsily swung at her with a metal pole, but Theo easily ducked beneath and knocked them to the ground, thrusting her blade straight through their chest without a second thought.

“Do they have anyone in the buildings?” Wanda asked, a crimson glow emanating from her hands as she manipulated the burnt-through shells of vehicles to create a makeshift barricade around the fighting.

“Negative.” Vision flew past Theo’s head, close enough for her hair to get swept up in the breeze; moments later, a motorcycle with someone on it went after him. Theo conjured a shimmering orb and hurled it at the motorcycle, setting the rider on fire.

“Alright, give me two seconds!” Theo held up a hand, a swirl of glistening black and white expanding out to create a translucent dome around the fight, shielding those outside from the carnage within. As the dome swelled into the air, Theo sensed an aura of vaguely familiar magic rapidly approaching from behind.

The moment the dome locked into place, Theo spun around and sliced through a handler who tried to ambush her from behind, dropping him to the ground in one swift motion.

“That’s why we needed her.” Nearby, Natasha snatched the weapon from an enemy operative, swiftly jerking it in a counter-maneuver to take them down.

“Don’t you dare overextend yourself,” Theo could literally hear Loki scowling through the comms at her. 

“I’ll be fine,” Theo scoffed, charging headfirst into the chaos. “Just– everyone try not to get too badly hurt, okay?

“That’s the plan!” Rhodes replied, zipping past as bullets sprayed around him.

Conjuring a second orb in her free hand, Theo darted between vehicles in search of her next target. She ran over the top of a truck and flipped over a group of shadow beasts who had cornered Peter, sending a series of small missiles out of the black and white orb before they could seriously injure him.

Peter gawked as the entire group froze, then dropped to the ground in a heap. He looked up to find Theo behind them and cheered. “Oh – hey Theo! Good to see you!”

Already bounding ahead to find her next target, Theo still chuckled and shook her head. She called back over her shoulder, “You too, kid, but stay focused - we’ll talk later!” 

While Theo took down a pair of shadow beasts, she glanced up and noticed that a crowd of onlookers gathered around the outside edges of the dome, cell phones drawn and presumably recording the showdown, broadcasting the horror for all the world to see. If Theo hadn’t had her hands full trying to stem the seemingly endless flow attackers, she’d have considered telling them to get away; after all, if her barricade fell, they’d be royally fucked.

Then again, if they were willing to endanger themselves for viral content, maybe they deserved the consequences. 

As someone hurled an explosive towards Theo, she leapt over an abandoned taxi to take cover, barely manning to crouch down before a shockwave blew out the vehicle’s glass, shards  raining down around her. 

At that same moment, Loki dove out of the way of a different explosion, somersaulting through the momentum and landing in a similar, crouched position. He conjured a pair of short swords, then dipped his chin at Theo in a sort of greeting. “How are you feeling?” 

“I feel great,” she smirked at him, readying her blade for whoever attacked her next. “Downright peachy, even.”

Two handlers, each with a pair of shadow beasts, careened into sight from opposite sides, targeting the pair of sorcerers. 

“Perhaps I should not have told the others you weren’t yet in fighting shape.” Loki wryly commented, slicing through the shadow beast in front of him with a flourish.

“I was cleared to fight— you know that,” Theo rolled her eyes, firing off a series of cosmic energy bolts at the pair of shadow beasts in front of her. “You don’t get to decide when I’m benched.”

Loki scoffed. “I simply assumed you would prefer to remain in the infirmary, given the choice.” He cast an illusion to distract the remaining shadow beasts and handlers, then teleported behind a handler and slit their throat with his dagger.

Likewise, Theo capitalized on the illusion and dissolved into shadow, transporting herself to right in front of the remaining handler. She reappeared only inches from the remaining handler, watching the sheer terror overcome them as she reached one hand out to rest on their chest, administering the touch of death. The handler dropped to the ground with a muffled thump. “I’d much rather make the choice for myself, thanks.”

“Your decisions result in harm to yourself,” Loki retorted with a scowl. He conjured a dagger and hurled it at an enemy, hitting them right between the eyes and killing them in the spot. 

A surge of irritation coursed through Theo. “My decisions save lives,” she gritted out in between slashes of her blade at another beast trying to attack her, “Which, may I remind you, is my fucking job.”

Though fully entrenched in a duel of his own, Loki still glared at Theo. “Not at the expense of your own.”

The retort caught Theo off guard, and she faltered; Loki, however, continued on as if everything was normal. He fought as if he were dancing, each swing and each step fluid and agile. With the way the smoke moved around him and the glow of the city lights reflected off him, he looked every bit the mighty god he was. 

What did he think—  that she couldn’t defend herself? That she was just a stupid, fragile little Midgardian, not fit for the title of Avenger? 

Reeling from the implications, Theo ran off, abandoning Loki in the process. His assistance wasn’t necessary, and if he believed that Theo needed his protection, then there was no way he’d have trouble defending himself. If anything, Theo needed to prove that she was, in fact, worthy of her place on the team, which meant diving into another fight.

Who are you trying to be It's alright, it's alright Cause it's in the stories and stay with me's And in between the sheets So while you're here and while it's right now Can you feel them all coming out?

Amidst the smoke and fire, Theo’s eyes scanned the area as she planned her next move; however, something at the edge of the dome caught her attention.

The crowd had multiplied exponentially, shoving cell phone cameras and professional cameras up against the barrier to try and capture a slice of the action. That wasn’t all, though — amongst the spectators, Theo spotted a familiar figure, with blonde hair and a navy suit that fit so perfectly it had to have been sewn onto him: Chris.

Theo hadn’t seen him since he unceremoniously dumped her over voicemail, and frankly had no interest in seeing him; however, that wasn’t the worst part. 

Next to him was a woman Theo vaguely recognized, only because she was starring opposite of Chris in the film he was shooting when he and Theo broke up. In the one or two times Theo met her, she seemed nice enough, but something about the way Chris acted when she was around seemed… odd. At the time, Theo just assumed it had to do with being co-stars. But in that moment, Theo saw Chris’s arm wrapped protectively around the brunette, and how the woman adoringly gazed up at him. She watched from a distance, frozen in place, as the brunette cupped Chris’s chin, turning his attention towards her and kissing him, right there in front of everyone.

Amplified by the adrenaline of combat and Loki’s condescension, the sight set off a surge of searing fury that exploded inside Theo, lighting her veins on fire with a level of intensity that threatened to consume her, so much that for a moment, she considered dissolving the barrier just so the spectators might learn their lesson… if Chris happened to suffer as a result, well… He was the one who didn’t evacuate from a battlefield. 

Yet, she didn’t dissolve the barrier. Had she done so, she’d not only be responsible for those deaths, but she’d have to pretend that she wasn’t powerful enough to keep the barrier up, which would only confirm Loki’s belief that she was a weak little Midgardian. 

Obscured by the smoke, no one from the crowd seemed to notice Theo as she stood there, barely ignoring the devil on her shoulder, which was likely for the best.

Unfortunately, the attackers had noticed, and took advantage of the lapse in focus; Theo turned around just in time to get punched in the face. Her head whipped to the side, biting her cheek as her jaw clamped shut in shock.

Reeling backwards, Theo ignored her watering eyes as she spit out a mouthful of blood. With a snarl, Theo charged in and took a swing of her own. Pain shot through her knuckles as she connected with their jaw, their head snapping to the side from the force.

Sure, she could have killed this guy with a spell or a shadow blade, but Theo needed to channel her anger into something productive. 

Dodging the second punch thrown her way, Theo ducked down and swept her feet around, dropping her opponent flat on his back. On the way down, he grabbed hold of her leg and yanked her off balance in an attempt to take control of the fight.

Instead, Theo leveraged the momentum of her fall and slammed her elbow into his groin, incapacitating him long enough for her to regain her footing and land another painful, but solid punch to the head, knocking him out.

Only then did she conjure her blade, slowly dragging it across his jugular in a cold, measured execution that contrasted the searing anger in every cell of her being.

Once she got back on her feet, Theo shook herself out and re-conjured her shadow blade before charging towards another group of fighters. Moving with deadly precision, she sliced into half the group in rapid succession, black and white flames erupting from her blade and spreading to other fighters nearby. 

The screams of pain from their flesh burning could barely be heard over the pounding of her heart in her ears and her own breathing; even if she could have heard them, she was too angry to care. 

She spun around, launching constellations of stars at other enemies to incapacitate them. Teleporting behind another handler, Theo wasted no time dropping them with a clean slash to the throat, using the vehicles around them to obscure her from public view. 

For a moment, Theo almost felt like she was back in Aneterra, taking out one of the Oblivinite storehouses. However, instead of abandoned warehouses in the bowels of a ruined city, she was on full display in the middle of Times Square, and she wasn’t torching everything in sight at the same time.

Although at that moment, she wouldn’t have minded torching everything in sight.

Gunshots rang out in quick succession, reminding Theo to keep moving. Hiding behind another burnt-up car, Theo glanced around in an attempt to figure out her next move. Behind an overturned delivery van, she spotted Yelena, grabbing her arm with a grimace.

Theo darted across the gap, diving behind the vehicle where Yelena took shelter just as another barrage of gun shots filled the air.

“What happened?” Theo demanded, already reaching for Yelena’s upper arm.

“Nothing, it’s fine.” Yelena gave a sharp head shake and scowled. “Go fight.”

“I have two functioning eyes and can tell you’re full of shit.” Theo challenged, raising a brow at the younger widow. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it and you can get back out there.”

“I got hit by a shot,” Yelena shook her head a second time. “Really, no biggie.” 

“Here —” Theo gestured for Yelena to remove her hand from her arm. “—Let me see.”

With a begrudging sigh, Yelena reluctantly moved her hand away from the injury.

When blood immediately dripped from the wound, Theo wasted no time pressing both hands to the injury in an attempt to stop the bleeding. She focused her energy, white runes making her way beneath Theo’s palm as the magic dissolved the bullet, then stitched Yelena’s flesh back together.

“What happened to you?” Yelena peered at Theo’s face as she worked, the light of the billboards and flames illuminating the area around them.

“I got distracted and punched in the face. It’s not a big deal,” Theo shrugged, lifting her gaze from the wound to scan the area for additional threats. 

“Are you going to heal yourself?” Yelena questioned, eyes darting between Theo’s face and her glowing white hand.

“Can’t - it’s like a surgeon can’t operate on themselves. It looks worse than it feels though,” Theo replied absentmindedly, watching as the last bits of Yelena’s skin closed up. “Alright, you’re set. Now go fuck some people up.”

“Thanks!” Yelena took off, almost gleeful as she launched herself back into the fight.

If only Theo enjoyed the absolute insanity of combat like Yelena did… Then again, that was probably what made Yelena such a great assassin. She downright thrived in environments like that.

Rolling her shoulders a couple times, Theo embraced the opportunity provided by her relatively shielded location to catch a breath and regain her focus; once she felt ready, she got back on her feet and followed Yelena’s lead.

I bet I met you in a past life And do you travel alone What're you living like? Go on, go on, well What're you thinking about  On those late nights? And when you listen in close,  What's it sound like?

After what felt like a lifetime of fighting with everything she had in her, Theo could have sworn they’d finally started to make progress when a message came through the comms.

“I need help—” Bucky choked out, his voice crackling through the intercom, “—Loki’s down!”

Somehow, all it took was two simple words for Theo’s anger to vanish, while something deeply unsettling replaced it, twisting frantically in her gut.

“I’m fine!” Loki groaned, though the way his words slightly slurred didn’t help his case.

“Bullshit,” Bucky retorted, “You can’t even walk!”

Theo searched around frantically, the smoke from cars on fire obscuring more and more of her vision. “Where are you?”

“I can heal mysel—” Loki weakly tried to butt in, but Bucky was louder. “—By the MTV screen!”

Without a second thought, Theo teleported herself over to the area, then sprinted towards the sound of two men bickering. She rounded the corner of a burned-out vehicle husk, her feet stuttering as she came to a sudden halt.

Loki sat on the ground, clutching his side as he leaned against the dingy steel frame of what once had been a car. Sitting might have been a generous term; if anything, it looked more like he had been propped up against the car by Bucky, who had both hands pressed against Loki’s thigh in an attempt to stop some of the bleeding. Loki looked out at the world from beneath heavy eyelids, his head slightly listing from side to side as he looked at Bucky.  All the color had drained from his skin, appearing almost translucent beneath the smoky grime all over his body. Despite gritting his teeth, he breathed as though he’d run a marathon - short, quick bursts of breath that were shallow at best. Around him, discolored pavement reflected back the lights of the billboards; with a shudder, Theo realized it was likely his blood that stained the ground. 

Theo dropped to her knees, scouring Loki’s body for other signs of injury. A large gash crossed over Loki’s temple and across his forehead, in addition to whatever injury Loki covered with his hands and the wound Bucky applied pressure to. While she looked him over, she pressed a finger to his wrist; finding only a faint, yet frenetic pulse, Theo cursed under her breath, then reached up to feel for his pulse in the crook of his neck. When the result proved to be similar, she began to pry Loki’s hand from his side so she could see the wound.

“I do not require your assistance,” Loki hissed, glaring at her as she worked. His normally sharp, sea-glass green eyes struggled to focus, taking on a sort of glassiness. “I will be fine.”

“There’s no way you’re healing this on your own,” Theo replied, swatting away Loki’s hands when he clunaily tried to put them back over the wound. Just a quick glance was enough to determine that the side wound likely contributed to most of the blood around them, so Theo took over placing pressure on the injury. “—especially not in this state.”

“You’ve no idea of my capabilities,” Loki attempted a protest, but it came out as more of a mumble.

Next to Theo, Bucky rolled his eyes; Clearly Theo wasn’t the only one who didn’t buy Loki’s argument whatsoever.

“Generally speaking, no I don’t, but right now I have a pretty damn good idea what you can and can’t do.” Theo muttered, ignoring Loki‘s scowl as she pressed a bit harder on the side wound. At least by leaning in on the snark, it was easier to hide the rapidly swelling worry in her chest. “Seriously, Casper has a better complexion than you do. How did this happen?” 

“One of those shadow bastards,” Loki huffed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. 

The movement shifted his weight off balance; he listed towards the right, torso sliding over until he started to tip—

Theo‘a hand shot out, catching Loki’s shoulder before he hit the ground. 

At the sudden change of position, Loki’s eyes flew open with surprise. Strangely, he didn’t protest as Theo eased him down to the ground, then nudged him to draw his uninjured leg up and bend his knee.

“A claw? A bite? I need more than that,” Theo said, before pressing on her comm to activate it. “I need medics for an evac by the MTV sign as soon as possible - note that the area is not yet secured.”

“Neither,” Loki weakly replied. ”They looked to be one of the beings from the gala, but their attire differed from the others. Struck me with two blades.”

Shit.

Most of the handlers Theo had encountered throughout the fight hadn’t been anywhere near the level of challenge that the very first handler had been. What if there was some form of hierarchy, and Loki happened to come into contact with one of the more powerful fighters— would they be focused on something else? Or, like the handler from the Met Gala, use the opportunity to ambush Theo?

Theo lifted her head, frantically searching for any sign that the person who did this to Loki was in their proximity.

“Medic is in transit, eta 3 minutes.” A voice came through the comms, but the update offered barely any relief. With wounds like Loki’s, time was of the essence - it wasn’t just about stopping the bleeding, but about replenishing the blood that had already been lost. He needed surgery to properly close the wounds and assess for possible organ damage, particularly in the case of the side wound. 

Fuck it— Theo needed to heal him, even if she wasn’t sure she had enough energy to do so. Loki could be salty about it later.

Theo focused her attention, delicate white runes revealing themselves on her skin as a white glow emanated from beneath her hands. She closed her eyes, willing her magic into Loki’s wound. The injury cut deep enough that if he had been a random human, he would have been long-dead. She set about stemming the blood loss through connecting the major veins that had been severed, her head throbbing more and more from every connection she made.

“Stop–” Loki commanded with a surprising ferocity, tugging one of Theo’s hands away from his injury.

It wasn’t until the flow of her magic had been interrupted that Theo noticed a wet, sticky warmth beneath her nose and tasted iron in her mouth. “Damn,” Theo muttered, wiping her nosebleed on her sleeve before she brought her hand back and reapplied pressure to his side.

“Do not dare incapacitate yourself for me.” Loki glared at Theo, though in his weakened state it wasn’t exactly threatening.

“Loki, my job is to make sure people don’t die, and right now, you’re dying,” Theo countered, “You’re literally going into shock from blood loss - you’re so pale you’re translucent, your eyes are glassy, you’re struggling to stay upright, you’re cold and clammy, you’re hyperventilating— between giving myself a migraine and having you bleed out in the middle of Times Square, I don’t even need to think about what my decision is going to be, and you’re in no shape to stop me.”

Before Loki could muster up a response, pounding footsteps and the squeaking wheels of a stretched echoed out amidst the fighting. Theo turned her attention towards the sound to find a team of medics, accompanied by Natasha, approaching the group. 

“Thank fucking god,” Theo whispered, more to herself than anything. She gathered herself as best she could while the medics closed the final gap; as soon as they arrived, Theo skipped any formal greeting so that they could complete the handoff report and get Loki out of there as soon as possible. 

Yet, right before Theo finished explaining what she managed to heal with magic to the medics, the commotion of a new fight broke out nearby. 

The additional chaos drew Loki’s limited attention away from the group hovering around him, though everyone else remained focused on his injuries.

“—Managed to close–”

“—There–” Loki interrupted, trying to sit up and point toward the fighting, only for a medic to place one hand on his chest and stop him.  “—That’s the one–”

Startled by Loki’s claim, Theo stopped mid-sentence and whipped around to see for herself.

Her blood, once boiling with fury, turned to ice…

… Fighting Bucky was someone clad in attire similar to the person Theo killed at the Met Gala; however, the cloak seemed a bit shorter, the octarine eyes from before were absent, and onyx hair fell in front of the person’s face as they fought. The person moved with a hauntingly familiar sort of grace that Theo hadn’t seen in a long time, countering Bucky’s attacks with nimble, agile steps and maneuvers that made one of the world’s most deadly assassins look like a lumbering fool in comparison.

No, it wasn’t–

“Take over, I’m going after them.” Theo commanded. She didn’t look back or wait for a reaction before she launched herself in the direction of the fight. Her heart pounded in her ears once more as she charged forward, inserting herself into the action by blocking a slash aimed at Bucky with her own shadow blade. 

A glint of amethyst flashed beneath the hood of the cloak as the person froze; Theo took advantage of the pause and twisted her wrist around, knocking her opponent’s blade to the ground. 

“Who are you?” Theo demanded, shifting into an offensive stance as she readied herself to attack. 

The handler mirrored Theo’s movement, though without the confidence or recklessness of the being that Theo previously fought. For a moment, the lights from flashing billboards and fires left in the wake of fighting illuminated the bottom half of the person’s face, and Theo’s pulse quickened.

Their mouth hung slightly agape, lips painted a deep crimson that contrasted ivory skin; whoever it was, they seemed surprised by Theo’s appearance, which only raised more questions. 

“No,” They whispered, their voice cracking at the end. Chest heaving, they took one halting step back, then another–

— and broke into a sprint in the opposite direction.

Theo gave chase, a bloodhound after a fox in the night. Her target darted between other fighters, using magic to shove burning car frames and other obstacles in Theo’s way, but Theo used her own magic to clear the path once more. 

The other person came to a sudden halt in the middle of the square. Burning cars and neon lights lit the area behind them, casting them as a silhouette amidst an apocalyptic scene. They turned back, facing Theo as she began to close the distance. Theo picked up her pace, locked onto her target–

—but in a flash of swirling runes, the other person vanished into the night, and with them, the remaining adversaries disappeared.

Theo slowed down to a jog, stopping only when she arrived at the space abandoned by the handler. She bent forward, resting her hands on her knees as she caught her breath and looked around, even though her gut told her it was pointless – whoever it was, they were gone.

“Fuck!” Theo snarled at no one and threw her blade on the ground. She covered her face with both hands and scrubbed her skin, trying to contain her frustration before it raised too many eyebrows. 

She should have been happy that the fight was over. No more casualties, no more injuries, they could clean up and repair the damage… but she wasn’t. If anything, it only set her off even more.

Because in their wake, all the shadow handler left were more questions and a sinking pit of dread where Theo’s heart would normally be.

With two cracks in my skull I can see the moon laying real low So when you lay in bed Do you smile about who you're laying with? Are you weak in your knees? I don't give a shit, you're coming out with me You're better than you've ever known Darling, who are your friends? Who are your foes?

—————

Author’s Note: *walks in two months late with Starbucks and  a chapter update* hi everyone — it has been a HOT minute! I’m still here and still writing this story… the tl;dr version is I had a very different plan for this chapter but just couldn’t get it right, so I took a step back to figure out why and I realized that a few things needed to happen in a different order, which required a moderate amount of work on the back end… however! I am much happier with the result and hopefully y’all will enjoy it as well. 

Originally, I hoped to post this yesterday for the one and only @sarahscribbles birthday, but of course my brain wouldn’t cooperate… but we made it (eventually)!  Go wish Sarah a happy belated birthday, and check out her fics if you haven’t already - she’s a wonderful Loki writer who deserves lots of love and celebration! 

Next chapter will come much sooner, I promise - I have most of it already written! Not committing to a date (yet), but I imagine in the next week or two it should be posted. 

As always, I love to hear your thoughts and reactions! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated. 

[warpedpuppeteer]

Do you ever cry when you think about how Eddie was probably a gentle soul when he was younger? Shy and quiet, loves to listen to people talk with sparkles in his eyes and a sweet shy smile that made his dimple pop, loved helping his abuela and mom and sisters at home. Then everything was destroyed when toxic masculinity was forced onto him and Eddie has never since been allowed the chance to ever be as soft or as gentle as he was before? How this poor little baby was sent off to war, breaking him in ways he couldn't even imagine. How since then all he's done is be afraid and confused and angry and frustrated.

Because nothing feels right even when he did all the things he was told he should do.

Be a man when I'm not around son. Be a man and marry her. Be a man and provide for your family. Be a man and kill for your country. Be a man and forget about your PTSD. Be a man and take care of your child. Be a man, be a man, be a man.

And he did! He did all of it like everyone told him to! But then why isn't he better? Why is he still broken??

But he's not. He's healing. All the cracks in his soul are being filled with gold. Like kintsugi. He's learning how to be whole again. He's found the 118, a family not of blood who loves him the way he deserves. He's found Buck, who accepts him as he is; all his flaws and imperfections; everything that makes him Eddie.

It's a slow process and sometimes it's painful but he'll get there. Eddie Diaz is not broken. He's a piece of art, beautiful and loved, his scars lined in gold.

He will learn to be gentle again; to himself most of all. He will learn to be soft; to ask for things. He will learn to be honest; to express his needs. He will learn to be Eddie once more, slowly.

[broken-egg-yolk-blog]

marauders band au but it’s just sirius singing iris by the goo goo dolls about remus or vice versa

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

[ra-vio]

im supposed to be studying

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

[politedemon]

if i'd succeeded in any of my phd applications i'd be starting today 🙃

[everysongineverykey]

and for my next trick i present... my Grand Tv People Freakout Extravaganza!!! *falls to the floor weeping violently*