#What the fuck is crimes of passion: the proposal????????????????

[cassie-thorne]

.

[chvoswxtch]

Congratulations on 4K Court! 🤎

may I please request an americano (iced if you wish… I wouldn’t complain) with Matty based on “he was chaos, he was revelry, bedroom eyes like a remedy”…. I know you can nail the “But Daddy I Love Him” vibes. ☕️

Thanks pretty baby!

you can't give me a song that has bedroom eyes in it & not expect me to make it slutty

you really can't give me anything matty related & not expect me to make it slutty, honestly

I didn't realize beforehand how perfectly this song fits him, but it absolutely does, so thank you for pointing that out to me & letting me have fun with this ;)

as a reminder, over ice means it's spicy! (minors dni)

blurb below the cut

order for matt with a shot of but daddy i love him

he was chaos, he was revelry / bedroom eyes like a remedy

Matt Murdock was not a perfect boyfriend. Everyone around you seemed to feel the need to voice their reservations, shrouding their unsolicited opinions under the guise of concern. Your parents were weary of you pursuing a stable future with a man that allowed his clients to pay in baked goods. Your “friends” looked on you with pity every time Matt couldn’t accompany you to some party or dinner, incessantly encouraging you to cut your losses and find a more “suitable” partner.

They all claimed they just wanted what was “best” for you, but if they were so blinded by their own undesired judgment that they couldn’t see the genuine happiness in your smile every time his name was mentioned, or the way your eyes lit up like the grand tree in Rockefeller Center at Christmas whenever he entered a room, then they didn’t really know you, and they certainly didn’t know Matt. Not like you did.

Perfection was not what you wanted from Matt, anyway. Sure his dual life as a lawyer by day and vigilante by night was complicated, and oftentimes it came with a storm of chaos, but you two navigated it the way you did everything else: together. 

The only luxury you desired was being his. Matt was the one you wanted. There was no shadow of a doubt in your mind, and every single blood cell in your heart agreed. There was no space for anyone else to occupy your soul, and there never would be. If Matt proposed to you tomorrow with a ring constructed of paper, you’d accept it joyously.

You didn’t give a shit if Matt couldn’t make it to some pretentious dinner party surrounded by a bunch of people that you weren’t even that fond of. The whispered rumors of infidelity and empty condolences aimed at your back didn’t bother you, because you knew better. They didn’t know the true nature of the crimes Matt was really out committing disguised as the Devil, and that little secret made you smirk every time you overheard a tale of your “misfortune”, or your name replaced with “poor thing”.

Oh, if they only knew.

If they could only see you know with your dress unbuttoned, Matt’s greedy hands canvassing every inch of your soft skin, marking your neck up in violet and maroon tattoos of possession. If they could only hear the way he sang hymns of your name, honey dipped praises caressing the lobe of your ear along with his lips, delectable sounds of worship torn from the depth of his chest and echoing around his apartment. If they only knew that Matt couldn’t even make it to his bedroom, that his ravenous and primal desire had him pressing your back up against his front door with your legs woven around his lower back, fucking you lovingly but relentlessly.

They couldn’t feel the passion of his hips colliding into yours repeatedly, his warm tongue savoring the taste of your flesh, his cock reaching a depth within you only he could find that sent you both to the heavens above. They couldn’t hear the sacred vows he cried out to you, loud enough for his God and all of his neighbors down the hall to hear. They couldn’t see that even though his captivating hazel eyes were void of sight, they were fixed in your direction with nothing but pure adoration and devotion.

They would never know how good it felt to be loved by Matt. They would never know that you felt Matt’s love all around you, like the first icy wind of winter through your hair or the first kiss of summer’s sunshine on your cheeks.

No one would ever truly know you, except for Matt.

So if everyone wanted to keep bitching and moaning about how you should “come to your senses”, fuck ‘em.

[artemisia-black]

What do you think happened to Regulus which made him suddenly see sense and brought him the courage to betray someone whom was his, in some sense, his hero?

And can you also tell about your thoughts on Peter changing sides too, while you're at it please?

I LOVE your metas to the point I'd literally marry them, lol 💝

Hahha I’m sure my metas would accept your proposal anon.

What Regulus did was brave. It is brave to write a fuck you note to a murderous cult leader after stealing a part of his soul. But I don’t think he did it because he suddenly came around about muggleborns. In Kreacher’s monologue about him, he comes across as someone very passionate about the cause of pureblood supremacy. He said he wanted to rule over muggles and muggleborns with his whole chest. He also hand painted his family crest above his bed as further commitment to his family pride (he is not a ‘soft’ person he’s far similar to Sirius and Bella then popular fanon characterises him).

In his note, he takes issue with the horcrux (even the act of stealing it to destroy it shows how deeply it effects him). And I think this is his issue. He is disillusioned with Voldy not because he suddenly sees muggleborns as people, but because Voldy is seeking immortality. Therefore he is seeking to rule over them all (purebloods included) for eternity. Also it could be that Horcruxes are seen as too far even by people who have bottles of blood and war crime mood boards as decoration.

Re: Peter, he changes sides because he is a rat escaping a sinking ship. The order was loosing the first war very badly. I don’t think the entire order were fresh out of school, I HC Dorcas as much older (hence Voldy killing her personally). So the DE’s were wiping out really skilled people, let alone these wet behind the ears early 20s somethings.

While I enjoy the HC that he betrayed James out of unrequited love. I think it’s more likely that voldy no longer needing him as a spy for the order (because the war was basically won by this point). And this was a way to bring him completely under his control - that by sacrificing James he would have nowhere to turn and could therefore be used to do dirty work for the rest of his life.

[ceilingfan5]

it's gotta be arcade carpet, I will start a fight and I do not care if I win that fight, even though I will win that fight. I want to draw blood, and Taako

"I hate him," Taako says, with feeling. "I hate him so bad. I want him to be naught but purple viscera traumatizing onlookers. You get me? Like, am I being clear enough?" He dips his pretzel passionately into the communal cheese and gets that succulent plastic nacho sauce all over the tray and his hand. He scowls and sucks his fingers loose and Kravitz thinks, not for the first time, him, huh? This is where I've laid my affections?

"For sure," Kravitz says calmly instead. He slides Taako a napkin.

"His strategies are garbage from a toilet, he has no flair, he cheats, I fucking know he does, I don't know how but I Know he does-" Taako huffs and chews his pretzel. Kravitz props his head up on his hand, looking at the jewelry store behind them, and the poster in the jewelry store with the deliriously happy gay couple, and he like, knows, okay, he knows all the diamond things and the capitalism things and the marriage things. And targeted advertising and rainbow bank icons. But listen. What if, is the thing.

"You could find another place to play?" Kravitz suggests, already knowing the answer. But Taako is in a ranting mood, and wants to get the magma out of his system. Kravitz is happy to divert the flow. It's certainly more interesting than going back to work in fourteen minutes.

"Obviously I'm not going to run, Krav," Taako scoffs, mouth still full. Nasty <3. Kravitz has it bad. It might be infectious, how bad he has it. Limbs falling off. In twenty years they'll be like how did the zombie apocalypse start? And no one will answer, because everyone will be gone of zombieism. The end. "I'd rather kill him."

"Noo," Kravitz says, laughing. "Really?"

"Yeah, really!" Taako almost manages a straight face. Usually he's so good at locking it down. Perfect stupid asshole. "I'd kill him good. I'd uh, I'd. Uh. If he beats me at Dance Party Castle again, I'm gonna start a fight."

"A fight? With what, your beefy fists?" Kravitz laughs. He knows Taako could hold his own in a scrap. But also.

"I will start a fight!" Taako declares, maybe a bit too loudly, but the empty food court just echoes dimly about it. "I will start a fight, and I don't care if I win, but I will win. I will win that fight. I wanna draw blood."

"Blood on the dance floor?"

"Boooo!" Taako breaks up into giggles. "Blood on the arcade carpet!"

"Oh no! Think of the blacklights!"

"Think of the Jenkins meat getting fed into the- what's the- Polybius!"

"You said Jenkins meat out loud with your mouth and now you have to go to the Phantom Zone forever." Kravitz shakes his head so sadly. What a loss. Taako cracks up.

"Noooo, I wasn't thinking!"

"That's it, you never think." Kravitz folds his arms, and gets cheese sauce on his suit jacket. "Wait, aw, fuck…"

"Are you sure you don't want to watch me defeat Dance Party Castle one mo gain?" Taako teases. He slides the nakins back over. What a loss!!!

"Only if there's an arcade massacre."

"Beb, I'd commit all kinds of crimes for you."

"Murder?" Kravitz pretends his cheeks aren't heating up, even after all this time. The classic Ken doll of a dude proposing to the slightly more racially ambiguous Ken doll in the glossy jewelry store ad almost winks at him.

"Easy."

"What about tax evasion?"

"Peasy, even."

"We got 'im, boys! Lock him up!"

And as Taako pretends to get dogpiled by a number of invisible undercover tax assassins, he has at least gotten less righteously incandescent about the fucker ruining his favorite thing. So Kravitz wins.

Just not at Dance Party Castle.

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

SUDSPOTS RECOMMENDS DREAM-CENTRIC FICS: PART ONE MAYBE

Sorted by shipping because I'm a multishipper.

Its about the PASSION its about the INTRICACIES its about the EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION.

If a fic you like isn't on here I demand you make your own recommendations post so I can reblog it and then we ALL must go insane. You Understand? You understand. Lets fucking go, lets LOVE THE PEOPLE IN THIS COMMUNITY RIGHT NOW AND TELL THEM WHAT GOOD FUCKING WRITERS THEY ARE

DESCEND INTO MADNESS. ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

DRUNZ WORKS BELOW

-non-explicit fics section-

our eternal love by janies_not_here. (Rated T)

Punz and Dream being in love and their last few moments together before the destruction of the server.

Personal thoughts: I love them. I would die for them. I care them so much.

Suffering by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)

“I,” Punz repeats, “am doing this one. You did lung removal, I’ll do heart.” They look at Dream squarely, determined, though their eyes are tight around the edges. No one likes dying, but they both know how important it is to know.

Personal thoughts: how to murder me emotionally. Its about the Intricacies its about the Unethical Science Murder Experiments.

science for sweethearts by silversandstone. (Rated T)

“His name is Punz?” “Yeah.” “I know him!” Sapnap exclaims, and he sounds entirely too excited for Dream’s liking. “He’s on the basketball team with me. Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes? Looks a little bit like he got thrown in the laundry by accident?” “He’s pretty,” Dream agrees miserably.

Personal thoughts: I am always a slut for modern AUs. I am bapping them with my little paws. Please kiss.

with arms unfolding by silversandstone. (Rated T) (series)

but here i am with arms unfolding i guess it isn't quite the end old partner in crime i'm going to try to fall in love with you again

Personal thoughts: PUNZ FINDING OUT ABOUT THE TORTURE. YESGOODPERFECT. THEM CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER. AAAAA

c!drunz living happily ever after by theendpoem. (Rated T) (series)

c!drunz headcanon written into short stories that follow them running away from the smp together and living happily ever after in a cabin

Personal thoughts: exactly what it says on the tin. I am a feral cat biting it biting it biting it

deadlines and commitments by sunnyscribe. (Rated G)

Dream doesn't know what he's looking for, but he finds it in Punz.

Personal thoughts: please imagine that gif of kermit spinning in a water fountain. They're taking a little nap together. They are in love.

i hope i don’t murder me, i hope i don’t burden you by nightdaydream. (Rated T)

Dream is dangerous, an enigma of a man. “So, what do you say?” Roses bloom in Punz’s lungs. They take a breath, choke them down, and return the grin that they’re sure Dream wears beneath his mask. “I’m in.” aka. punz suffers through hanahaki. it gets a lot worse before it gets better.

Personal notes: FUCK OFFFFFFFFF<=== is personally very emotional. Don't perceive me.

by his side where he belongs by ammizukii. (Rated T)

c!Dream shyfully proposes to c!Punz.

Personal notes: oh.

Just A Dip by Icechild. (Rated G)

It was meant to be just be a bath. It was supposed to be refreshing, healing, calming. It wasn't supposed to be Punz watching Dream pant and groan in pain. It wasn't supposed to end up with them realizing a blade was poisoned after it was too late. OR Punz and Dream have a bath time after a fight with the SMP and take care of each other and things go a little south.

Personal notes: I am eating concrete. I am throwing things. ITS ABOUT THE TRUST AND LOVE AND FEAR AND

love, like death, hath all destroyed by dumbgirlfriend (thelightwoods). (Rated T)

Punz and Dream have a quiet last meal before the end of the world, and Punz wants him.

Personal notes: dies a death (x40) hahahaha I love them what the fuck...

Steam by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)

There’s something almost ritualistic in the way Punz lathers soap onto Dream’s skin, their touch gentle but firm as they thumb at his flesh, their clipped nails dragging a little across his too-thin skin, careful not to worry at scabs or sores, but touching them anyway, keeping them clean. --- Or: post-Pandora, Dream's physical state is a bit too fragile for him to be able to bathe alone. Enter, stage left, Punz.

Personal notes: you think I'm normal right now but I'm actually clawing at the bars of my cage. Let me out I won't bite.

red slush and citrus shampoo by shamefulfroggos. (Rated T)

“Okay.” The two sit in silence for a few more beats before Punz drops his hand down to twist the keys and coax the engine back to life. It rumbles, faintly, and Dream watches from the corner of his eye as Punz puts the car in reverse and brings his arm up, his hand gripping the shoulder of Dream’s seat. His head turns so he can look through the back window as he pulls the car out of the parking space he turned into mere minutes ago. Dream tries not to stare. He doesn’t try very hard. -------------- or Dream has been in love with Punz for too long, Sapnap and George are tired of his shit, and Punz is a cinnamon roll who is trying to convey his feelings but failing

Personal notes: hnnnnnnn I'm gonna be honest with you I reread these fics before I put them on this post and this is making me go insane. They're so fucking in love shut the fuck upp

Not to Me, Not If It’s You by ranababamboo. (Rated T)

“Stop fussing over me.” “I will when your fever breaks,” they replied. They gestured to the stew, untouched aside from the near-spill. “Should eat that before it goes cold.” Dream rolled his eyes at the nagging. “What, gonna sit here and watch me until I do?” Punz merely raised an eyebrow. “...you’re the worst.” ——— Stubborn refusal of injury won’t slide in this household.

Personal notes: I hate them (I love them so much I am actively dying)

even when it’s raining by navyhurricane. (Rated T)

“You want to dance—” “In the rain,” Punz finishes for him, almost in a rush as though the idea has him breathless already. “C’mon, you can’t say that you have never in your life thought of it before.” Dream shakes his head softly. “Can’t say it’s high on my bucket list.”

For ruined plans and an opportunity saved, Dream has never known a love as soft as this; he knows that while he needs Punz, the other wants him in all the same ways.

Personal notes: hey do you ever feel like the chemicals in your brain just fucking change and shit while you read something because its good.

i wish to reclaim the rising by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)

Dream is quite happy with his life, despite his lack of memories, the scars and frailties of his body, and the numerous questions both raise. Then Punz, one of the gods of this world, saves his life, and it becomes clear that there is more to this - to them - than what can be seen on the surface. --- Or: it's a whole new world, and everyone deserves a chance to move on and make the most of the future. Punz has been waiting for theirs for... a long time.

Personal notes: I really wish I could just post memes and images instead of typing because I don't know how to communicate to you the level of Feral I am rn.

i miss the way you made me feel by WinterEnchantress. (Rated G)

Technoblade broke them up because duty always comes first, and he knows that the pain will never lessen, but at least he had the certainty that Dream was also...suffering. Because he's a selfish and petty man, deep inside, and he doesn't want to be lonely in his pain. Up until Dream found someone else. Up until Dream starts to heal, and all Techno can do is watch from the sidelines as Punz carefully puts broken pieces back together. All he has left is regret. or sad techno and broken up dnb + punz/dream being sweet as techno pines and suffers (:

Personal notes: !!!!!!! well thats fucked up and sad. fuck yeah lets go !!!!!!!

starshine after the longest night by voidofthestars. (Rated T)

They say almost, because there's so much missing from him, from weight loss from starvation to blatant mutilation, ears slashed and even tagged. And gods knew what else lies beneath his torn and ragged clothes. The moment Dream collapses into their arms and they close around him he keens, low and hurt like a dying animal in a cage. It's all Punz can do to keep them both upright even as Dream shakes in his arms, damaged hands scrabbling across his back and shoulders like he was afraid Punz wasn't actually there. "Holy shit, starshine, I've got you, you can't drop on me yet we're not safe yet." "Punz! Punz you're actually here! Haha, oh my god, I can't believe it!" Dream's voice cracks from emotion and disuse. It's painful to listen to, in more ways than one.

Personal notes: Don't fucking look at me don't perceive me I don't want to talk about it.

last cup of coffee by Luciddreaming_ (LucidDreamLight). (Rated T)

Local barista crushing on the cute college boy.

Personal notes: I don't have braincells anymore. Only them.

or should i walk by again? by Anonymous. (Rated T)

After Sapnap accidentally triple-books himself, he leaves his friends Dream and Punz to entertain each other at a boardwalk. This quickly spirals into a bet: Can you fall in love in one day?

Personal notes: what if... they kissed<=== absolutely deranged

green strings of magic by nightdaydream. (Rated M)

“You just work with him for money,” Quackity states, looking at Punz, and they want to laugh at how wrong the statement is. At first, sure; Dream was their client, and they were a mercenary. But as time passed, and they got closer, they came to trust Dream. And eventually, the golden ring on their finger and the matching one on the chain around Dream’s neck, hidden below his hoodie, came into play. “So, if he’s dead, which everyone else here wants anyways, you have no reason to carry out what he wants.” aka. Dream gets killed. Punz brings him back, because they’re a good partner like that.

Personal notes: they're MARRIED they have RINGS what if I shed my skin and became a skeleton.

Keep it Together by orphan_account (Rated T)

/Don’t react. Don’t react. Stay calm. Stick to the plan./ They spent hours, standing on a grassy hill, staring at the prison. /Keep it together./

Personal notes: His One Attachment his Most Important Attachment Shut The FUck

sunlight through my window by oopsie_daisyy (Rated G)

Dream and Punz are comfortable enough together to just walk into each other’s room and be. But when Dream asks him an unfinished question, Punz can’t get the implications of it off of his mind.

Personal notes: biting my own arm. Themb!!!!!! Them,,,,,

Bunker Pasta by dyinginlava (probablyaceok). (Rated T)

When Punz meets Dream after he escapes from Pandora’s Vault he notices how bad Dream looks and makes a decision.

Personal notes: They love each other did you know that. did you know. they love each other so much

Ground Zero by Oceanbreeze7. (Unrated)

Canon Divergence- what if the entire confrontation went a little faster- and they all had time to leave before the nuke impacted?

Personal notes: its barely there, but Its There and its important To Me.

Even Now by TastesLikeBakingSoda (Rated G)

Punz tries to coax Dream to bed, post-prison.

Personal notes:..........

lets take a rest by TastesLikeBakingSoda (Rated G)

Dream comes home after fighting the slime clone army and Punz gives him tickles and kisses

Personal notes: I'm being persecuted, held at gunpoint even.

-EXPLICIT FICS-

forever and always by applpudding

Dream slips his hands from Punz’s grasp and slides one around the cradle the back of his head. “Punz. Look at me.” The softness of his voice coaxes Punz’s eyes open and oh. He’d forgotten how stunning Dream’s eyes are in the daylight, brilliant viridian irises shining bright and honest, settled between soft golden eyelashes. “I don’t know if I can say it back yet,” Dream says, and for a moment Punz feels his heart sink. “But,” Dream continues, “that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I do, I really do, I promise you that.” Punz leans forwards and knocks their foreheads together. “I’ll wait,” he whispers. “However long you need, I’ll wait."

Personal notes: they need to be happy its so fucking important to me

radio lust by navyhurricane

A messy turn of events leaves Dream without a car in the middle of a rainstorm. He knows Punz is made of nicotine and bad ideas, but Dream's curiosity over Punz’s passenger seat is addicting.

Personal notes: hi they are absolutely infatuated with each other. they told me so themselves.

losing the bet by Anonymous

“Oh, I see. You wanted to lose,” Punz said in a low voice, dropping in volume, and Dream’s breath hitched in his throat. “You made that bet assuming you’d lose, huh? You wanna be my bitch that badly?” “Fuck no,” Dream spat back even as his eyes locked onto Punz’s lips. They looked surprisingly soft, pink. Dream swallowed hard. “I’m just a man of my word. I promised you, you win, you use me as you want.” “Just seems like an odd thing to offer to someone you’re not attracted to at all.” Punz stepped closed again, practically chest to chest, and he grabbed Dream by the jaw. His grip was tight, practically bruising, and he pushed Dream’s head back against the lockers. “Deny it all you want, but I think you wanted to end up here. You liked the thought of mean ol’ Punz shoving you into the lockers, huh? You want me to fuck you right here?” Dream whined, unable to speak with the hand clamping his jaw shut, and Punz huffed a snort of amusement. “You’re cute when you’re pathetic, princess,” Punz purred.

Personal notes: shaking them. they are stupid and full of kink. I cherish them deeply.

Observant by Toasted_Poison

Dream and Punz are roommates and Dream is very observant of Punz's recent behavior.

Personal notes: the comment I left on this fic probably shows how insane I am more than any words I could type here.

if you’re the reason why it’s empty, spin the fucking bottle by oopsie_daisyy

"I was about to leave when you asked me to play spin the bottle, actually,” Dream explains with a knowing smile, one that Punz reciprocates easily. “But yeah, it’s fine. Just a regular boring party, nothing too special.” “I could make it special.” Dream rolls his eyes. “I know you can. Why else do you think I would stay at some shitty party?"

Personal notes: RAAAAA WHY ARE THEY SO DUMB I CANT FUCKING STAND THEM (is holding them so very closely)

Shatter you by Anonymous

The payment is given. The plan should start any minute now. Punz wouldn't say he'd changed his mind. He never truly agreed with this plan anyway. It's good that Dream is in a good spot for listening. Alternatively: Punz is an Ender Dragon hybrid who likes gold but likes his shiny employer better so he decides to keep him. Dream's a brat and needs to be taught his place.

Personal notes: go away leave me be. I have to be really abnormal about Ender Dragon Punz. (you hear the sound of someone eating paper)

A Goat & A Coyote by ConscientiousMonster, Melpomene_Muse_of_Tragedy

A coyote pack leader finds a goat spellcaster that's been tied up in ribbons and left for death by vultures. This is furry-flavoured Drunz porn.

Personal notes: I'm not a furry but five dollars is five dollars<===this is a reference. I'm actually probably a furry.

Without End by JanetBaby99

“We’re equals aren’t we? You and me no matter what,” Punz assures. “You don’t control me and I don’t control you.” Dream lets his words wash over him, taking them in and analyzing each one. … Even after all of this, seeing how weak Dream has become, seeing how he’s fallen, Punz still sees him as an equal on this godforsaken server. ___________________ After Dream escapes Pandora's Vault, he goes to Punz who helps him through the worst of his injuries, and assures Dream that he would love him no matter what.

Personal notes: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNN THEY ARE IN LOVE,,,, THE ANGST CAN'T DEFEAT THEM,,,

all your ivory glory by eleostomercy

“You’re a cockslut.” Dream’s eyes flick up. He’s sure he makes quite the sight, knelt at Punz’s feet, knelt over a baby blue dildo, and dripping between his thighs with a hand on Punz’s cock. “What about it?” or, where dream has an idea and a need to be between punz's legs.

Personal notes: clapping and cheering and blowing the building up because its what they deserve.

twisted on my tongue by eleostomercy

I know what a sex machine is,” Punz mutters, unsteady on his feet as he rights himself by the refrigerator; the revelation is surprising, sure, but his own astonishment at Dream’s hidden possession is nearly gone. “I just didn’t think that—” “What?” Dream’s embarrassment has melted away by now, and it leaves in its place a sharp grin and gleaming eyes. “Didn’t think I would own one?” or, where dream reveals a well-kept secret and punz decides to give it his own gleaming review.

Personal notes: hey did you know that they're in love. Did you know that I'm throwing shit and maiming because they are in love.

their hungry thirsty roots by consumptive_sphinx

Punz, somewhere above him, sighs, and then there’s a flowering vine in his face and he can’t fucking breathe. His knees hit the ground again and this time Punz wraps an arm around his chest and doesn’t let go, combs through his hair with their fingers while he coughs until his eyes water. “Sorry, man,” they say, and “I know,” and “it’s alright.” Something’s fucking happening while he coughs and Dream doesn’t like drugs under the best of circumstances— they make him slow, they make him stupid, they make him off his game and he can’t be off his game— but the alarm is leeching away. It’s like trying to cling to water. By the time he can breathe again his legs feel too weak to move on.

Personal notes: hnnnn Egg fics.... my one (1) weakness....

pleasure in death by bugginmate

“Here’s how this is gonna work, sweetheart,” he murmurs, brushing Dream’s too long hair out of his face. “You’re going to do what I say. I’m gonna get you all worked up and begging for me. Then when- or if- I decide to let you feel good, I am going to kill you. Do you understand?” Dream and Punz are brainstorming ways to die for their limbo research.

Personal notes: two bros, chilling in their lab, fucking around against OSHA regulations.

Scour and Scorch by FraustiButBad (FraustiNoSnowman)

“Is everything about numbers to you?” He retorts. It’s a weak one, at that, not because it doesn’t mean anything to Punz, but because both of them know that it’s almost a hundred percent true, and Punz is proud of that fact. “Yes,” the lighter blonde admits. His thumb rests on the front of Dream’s chin, and he pulls Dream’s head down to eye level; Dream has to grip the table for him to not punch Punz in the face, or throw on his jacket and leave. “It’s all numbers to me. And where does that take me, sweetheart?” Punz does everything for numbers. • Dream and Punz, musicians, classmates, enemies, friends with benefits, are everything that could be set fire to.

Personal notes: the unreliable narrator that is Dream. also kink. peoples two favorite things.

Red Sweater by Typical_Kiwi

Punz really has to go to work and Dream's making it exceedingly difficult. (Punz isn't blameless.)

Personal notes: THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. SHUT UPPPPPPP

Home for the Holidays by Toasted_Poison

"So, where am I sleeping?” Dream asked, looking around the large room, the couch did look quite comfortable. Punz shook his head, opening his suitcase to unpack, “Are you playing dumb? In bed with me.” “Oh! Are we going to explore each other's bodies?” Dream teased. The dirty blond kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket, placing it on the couch before his gloves joined it. He didn’t expect an answer from Punz, who was staring down at a blue shirt in his hands before looking up and smiling at Dream with a cock of his eyebrow. “If you’d like."

Personal notes: (you see an image of goofy floating in a fountain)

Play To Win by angeIofsmalldeath

He likes his roommate, he really does. All things aside, they’re relatively close and spend a decent amount of time together. Punz keeps his space neat, they split dish duty, and his rent is always on time. He’s not a bad roommate in the slightest. That does not change the fact that this is not the first time Dream has found himself incredibly annoyed on behalf of Punz and his stupid video game. Dream is sick of his roommate playing video games loudly all night long. So, they make a bet.

Personal notes: Listen. Listen. Listen. Actually Don't listen. Have you considered the benefits of shedding your skin and becoming a skeleton

i'll be unclean, i'll be obscene (you be the rest) by staged

“I wanna choke you.” Punz leans down to say in Dream’s ear, dragging his teeth against the lobe and pressing a wet kiss to his jaw. “Do it.” Dream pleads, rocking back on a harsh thrust. His eyes flutter, meeting Punz’s gaze with a forest of vulnerability, thick with desperate want. “What if I kill you?” Punz mouths down Dream’s neck, licking around the space between his fingers. It’s spoken like a suggestion, a sadistic fantasy that they want to play out. “Then bring me back.”

Personal notes: Theyre so wonderfully fucked up I would Die for them.

I miss ya, and our rendezvous by froghatter

Five times Punz and Dream made bets together and only once does Dream lose.

Personal notes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Transactional Satisfaction by TastesLikeBakingSoda

Punz takes his payment.

Personal notes: Don't look at me go away.

candy games by Royal_Stars

Dream wants to play a game. Punz obliges. Why wouldn't they, when they get kisses out of it? It leads to a bit more than the two of them bargained for, but hey, neither of them are really complaining.

Personal notes: I am slowly sliding them both together. then they kiss. then they kiss. then they

but the damage has been done by Anonymous

After weeks upon weeks of exhaustive experimentation on the nature of life, death, and revival, Punz and Dream are both tired. One of them was bound to break. But Punz is not going to let it be Dream.

Personal notes: they are full of mental illness and so am I.

Sublime by cosmicskies

Punz will make him food. He knows what Dream needs right now. Soft touches and to be showered in attention even though he scowls and tries to send the other away every time. During the moments where Dream can think without being shouted at by his own mind, he’ll tell Punz about the things he wishes he didn’t think. How sometimes, asking to be held is the scariest thing of them all. But they’re both touchy people.

Personal notes: (you hear explosions in the distance)

[milfthrawnuorodo]

Safe in my Arms (Ascendancy!Thrawn x Reader)

Pairing: Ascendancy!Thrawn x Female Chiss Reader 

Summary: Csaplar, the capital city of Csilla, has been attacked by alien warships. You are a Syndic of the Mith family, forced to seek shelter from the attack along with the rest of the Syndicure. Thrawn, senior captain of the Chiss Expansionary Defence Fleet, is able to easily defeat the enemy targets, but finds himself struggling with something new: the sudden feelings of concern and panic at the thought of you in danger. These feelings are a first for Thrawn, always so confident in battle, seldom so confident when it comes to his feelings for his lover. When you two are reunited, Thrawn is forced to confront his feelings head on. His relief at seeing you alive and well quickly turns into something almost animalistic, and passion ensues, followed by the dawn of a crucial revelation. 

Warnings: Sliiiight angst, but I promise it all works out. SMUT!!! Oral (female receiving), P in V, feral Thrawn is it’s own warning, fucking on a countertop (will I ever let him fuck in the comfort of a bed??? Only time will tell). And watch out because this ending is FLUFF CITY. Like Goddamn call this bitch cotton candy the way it makes me so wet and then absolutely MELTS me. (too much?? Yeah, probably). 

A/N: So the original idea for this came from my head canon’s with my Chiss Syndic OC, Theta, which can be found here. I did originally post this as a Thrawn x Theta, but I know how beloved a solid Thrawn x Reader fic is, so here’s the compromise. Sigh,this fic is so self indulgent it should be a crime. But I hope you enjoy it!

This fic is spicyyyyy so 18+ only, minors do not interact. 

_______________________

The aroma of fresh caccoleaf was the only thing getting you through this never ending meeting. You gingerly took a sip, cherishing the slightly sweet flavor as you forced yourself to focus on the argument at hand. The Syndicure was in full session, meaning your days had been consumed by meetings just like this, speakers for various families vying for exchanges and favors to bolster their own needs above others. 

“What we are proposing would completely revitalize this meager farm area and turn it into a beacon of prosperity, attracting people from all around the Ascendancy, which could boost the local economy and present other long-lasting positive impacts. If you’ll look at the document that has been shared with each of your questises–”

The Ufsa speaker hadn’t even finished his obviously well-rehearsed speech before a representative from the Chaf family made her own grievances known. “That land rightfully belongs to the Chaf family,” she butted in emphatically. “You’ll have to pry that land straight from our hands.”

It took all your years of experience to contain your eye roll. You were proud of your position, honored by your duty to both your family and the Ascendancy, and, yes, you lived to serve your people in any way possible. But you also had a tendency to get frustrated at how selfish and self-serving members of the Aristocra could be. Your whole mission as one of the few female members of the Syndicure was to inspire unity amongst the families and encourage compromise and support over supporting self-serving needs. Though, with so many of the Aristocra being dead set in their old-fashioned ways, you more often than not felt like you were fighting an uphill battle. 

You took a deep breath to steady yourself, preparing to interrupt the argument which was clearly not making any headway, when a resounding alarm began to blare throughout the meeting room. The room was silent for a single heartbeat, before the Syndicure erupted into noise and chaos, each person trying to speak over the other to figure out what was going on. A voice projected over the loudspeaker.

“This is an emergency. Please remain calm and make your way to the shelters beneath the Cupola. I repeat, this is an emergency. Please remain calm and make your way to the shelters beneath the Cupola ”

The announcement hadn’t even finished before people were scrambling towards the doors and filing down the hallway towards the emergency exits that would take them to the shelters. You stood from your seat, making sure to grab the questis from the table before turning to navigate the throngs of people. A quick scan of the room told you that a majority of the Aristocra were well and able to take care of themselves. However, your eyes landed on a lone straggler, an elder from the Irizi family, struggling to make haste towards the exit, having long been forgotten by members of his own family in their own rush towards safety. Without hesitation, you crossed the short distance between you and loop your arm in his, wordlessly offering him your support. A look of surprise flitted across the man’s face, but was quickly replaced by a nod of respect and gratitude before leaning on your for support as you both made your way to the exit. This image, two rival families coming together to support each other in a time of crisis, this was what being a member of the Chiss Ascendancy was about: above family ranks, above political rivalries, above all else, you were all Chiss.

Joining the rest of the speakers, syndics, and various members of the aristocra in the shelters, you found an empty seat, getting a moment to collect your bearings for the first time. You spare a look down at your questis as a barrage of notifications lit up the screen. You could hardly process the words, having to reread the same sentence multiple times. 

Csaplar, capital of Csilla, is under attack by alien ships. Seek shelter immediately. 

You couldn’t remember the last time someone had dared attack the Ascendancy. It certainly hadn’t been in your lifetime, and from the looks of the faces around the shelter, you decided it most certainly hadn’t taken place in the lifetimes of even the eldest members of the Syndicure. You furiously refreshed your notifications, hoping for another update, but there was none to be found. With a worried sigh, you crossed one leg over the other in an attempt to get comfortable. “Stars only know how long we’ll be stuck down here,” you thought to yourself.

“Alien warships,” a nearby Syndic scoffed. “And they have the audacity to attack us?” His voice increased in pitch to emphasize his incredulity. 

“I’m sure the expansionary defense fleet has already lasered them to stardust by now,” another Syndic reassured. 

The words settled like a lead weight in your stomach. Thrawn. The adrenaline, which had just begun to wear off, peaked again and you worked to control your breathing. He was supposed to be coming back from his mission today. You had just spoken over holovid the night before once Thrawn had retired to his quarters, and you had been looking forward to having him planetside with you. Now, with this latest attack, if he was in the middle of it…your thoughts trailed off into the unknown. You knew it wouldn’t do any good to panic now, but the thought of Thrawn being up there, facing off against three enemy warships was enough to get your heart racing all the same. 

_______________________

Thrawn stood on the bridge, staring out the viewport at the sight before him. The alien warships were gone, blasted into rubble too small to even make a dent through the atmosphere. Always the calculated and stoic Senior Captain, Thrawn had kept a level head throughout the unexpected ordeal. The Springhawk was returning home from its mission, coming out of hyperspace just outside Csilla’s gravity well, when the foreign ships began firing on the planet’s capital city. It took less than a minute for the Chiss ships to return fire, and within fifteen minutes the battle was over. Thrawn stood motionless, staring into the empty space where the ships once stood, a sudden anxiety settling into his bones. His chest felt tight and your name fell off his lips in a silent plea. He knew you were there, in the capital. He knew the aliens had to be targeting the capital city–it was the most logical conclusion. Unfortunately, it was also the conclusion that sent an unfamiliar wave of panic through Thrawn. He forced himself to take exactly one deep breath, steeling himself, and forcing his feet to take him back to the Captain’s chair. “Continue course to Csaplar,” Thrawn announced, thankful to hear that his voice didn’t betray an ounce of the worry that plagued him. “The likeliest conclusion is that you are fine,” he thought to himself in an attempt to regain his internal control. You have to be fine. 

_______________________

The defense force had you waiting two hours in the shelters, to be sure that no further threats arose. Two hours you spent sick with worry about what was going on in the skies above. You fully believed that Thrawn was the most intelligent man you’d ever met, and the Ascendancy as a whole was far safer for his role in the expansionary defense fleet. But that didn’t mean you never worried about him every time you knew he was going into a dangerous situation. More than anything, it was the not knowing that was tearing you up the most. You tried to distract yourself with your colleagues, who, in typical syndicure fashion, all seemed to be trying to one-up each other in outrage, as if they were personally defending the ascendancy’s honor. If there was one thing that could bring together the Aristocra, it was a common enemy. 

Shortly past the second hour mark, you got the all-clear to evacuate the shelter. There would be a briefing with General Ba’kif in one of the meeting halls, and it was clear the Syndicure would be out for blood, demanding answers that may not even be available yet. As the sea of individuals rushed to assault the general with their questions, you strode right past the door of the meeting room, instead heading straight for your office. You had just shut the door behind you when you realized you weren't alone.

Thrawn stood in the middle of your office, and the familiar sight of him in the black uniform was nearly enough to bring tears of relief to your eyes. 

At the first sight of you, relief flooded Thrawn’s body and for the first time in over two hours, he felt as though he could breathe again. It took all of two strides for Thrawn to close the distance between you, his strong arms taking you into his grip, pulling you to his chest. You gripped him just as hard, breathing in the familiar scent.

You stood like that, embracing each other for several heartbeats. “I’m relieved to see you unharmed,” Thrawn’s soft voice broke the silence. You tilted your head back, looking into the eyes of your beloved. “Thrawn,” you started, but your voice broke, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. You forced a deep breath before continuing. “What happened?” With a final press of his lips against the top of your head, Thrawn stepped back and motioned for you to take a seat as he began to recount everything they had found out over the last few hours. 

_______________________

That night, You rinsed off the last of the dinnerware, passing the dripping plate to Thrawn, who methodically dried it off and set it amongst its freshly clean counterparts. The dinner had been a simple affair, but you cherished these nights the most. They were too few and far between. Though, you supposed you were somewhat in luck–the estimated repairs for the Springhawk were to take between four and six weeks, and you’d soak up every ounce of time together you could get. 

Thrawn had been unusually quiet tonight though, and you watched as he gripped the edge of the countertop, clearly lost in thought. Thrawn’s focus shifted as a pair of soft arms wound their way around his midsection. “Tell me what’s bothering you, love,” your voice was barely above a whisper. Up on your toes, you pressed a kiss to Thrawn’s neck, “And don’t bother denying it. You know I can read you as easily as a data cylinder,” you quipped, trying to ease the tension. 

With a small sigh, Thrawn turned to face you. His lean body propped up against the countertop, arms crossed at his chest, and though he was looking at you, you could feel that his gaze was far away. 

“There was a moment today, after the attack,” Thrawn started, then paused, thinking over his words. “I had a feeling I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before.” You waited patiently through another extended pause, giving Thrawn what you hoped was an encouraging nod.

“As soon as the battle was over, I was hit by this strange sense of terror. There was this sudden, overwhelming dread, and I was convinced something had happened to you.” Thrawn paused, his throat working. “I don’t know what I would have done. What I’d do if–” Your features instantly softened, and you interrupted the thought, stepping up on your tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to Thrawn’s lips. 

“It’s okay,” you whispered, pulling away momentarily. “I’m fine.” You pressed another kiss to his lips. “I’m okay,” you reassured, murmuring against his lips, and it was as if upon hearing those words, feeling your soft lips against his, something within Thrawn broke. His hands were off the counter, gripping your waist, pulling you closer to him as his lips crashed against yours, gripping you in a fierce kiss. You hardly had a second to react before Thrawn picked you up, twisting your positions so he could place you on the countertop, not even breaking the kiss. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, though you certainly weren’t about to stop him. Thrawn’s grip on your hips tightened as he deepened the kiss, pulling you to the edge of the counter. Suddenly, you understood where Thrawn was coming from. The relief at having him here, the knowledge that you were both safe, both together, it was enough to have you mirroring his intensity.

Your hands were desperate, clumsily trying to undo Thrawn’s uniform. Stars damn all the regulation zips that made these things so damn hard to remove. Eventually, Thrawn took pity on you, stepping back to remove the rest of the jacket, discarding his undershirt as well, letting both fall to the floor. You had only a moment to appreciate the toned, muscular skin, biting your bottom lip as you took in the view, and then Thrawn’s lips were back on yours and your fingers went straight to tangle themselves in his hair. 

“I need to—“ Thrawn gasps out between kisses. “I need to taste you.” 

You nodded your head fervently and spread your legs, leaning back on your hands as Thrawn pressed sweet kisses along your neck and down your still-clothed chest. Pushing up your skirt, you lifted yourself just enough for him to slide your damp panties down your leg. Thrawn let out an audible groan. “I do believe you’ll be the end of me,” he growled in a low voice, before falling to his knees. 

The sight of Thrawn on his knees before you was almost enough to push you over the edge. Thrawn slid your legs open, resting them on his shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your core. The sensation sent a shiver down your spine, but before you could even beg for more, he dove right in. 

He ate like a man who had been starved for days, unable to get enough. A single finger joined his tongue, and left you squirming on his counter. Your hips thrust up into his face, a second digit joining in, stretching you. He curled his fingers, hitting that spongy spot deep inside you, and stars danced behind your eyelids. “Thrawn!” you exclaimed, panting. His fingers moved faster, harder, expertly dragging your orgasm from you. “Thrawn, I’m going to—“ before you could even finish that sentence, your orgasm ripped through your body. Your back arched, cunt tightening around his fingers. His tongue lapped up your juices, which only prolonged the orgasm. Gasping for air, you slowly came down from her high, coming to just in time to spot Thrawn trailing soft kisses along the inside of your thighs, working his way back up to kiss your face. Thrawn pressed himself up against your soaking core, and you could feel how much he enjoyed that experience as his rock-hard member pressed against your sensitive mound, eliciting another moan from you, his name dancing on your lips. “Thrawn.”

“I need to feel you,” he moaned against his kiss. “I need to be inside you.” His kiss was frenzied, his need was unmistakable. You had never seen the man so undone, and you could hardly believe it was on your behalf. It felt like a dream. All you could manage was a breathy “yes,” in response, but it was all the approval Thrawn needed. 

Without missing a beat, Thrawn’s hands were on his belt, quickly undoing it, his pants falling to the floor soon after. You let out a sigh as he freed his cock and gave his member a rough couple pumps. Your mouth watered at the sight of it–thick and long, and deliciously veined, as if it was designed purely for your pleasure. You couldn’t help but rub your thighs together, desperate for some kind of friction as you took in the sight before you: 

Thrawn, his typically meticulous hair now a disheveled mess, his impressive member in hand, and a look of absolute feral need in his eyes. 

Thrawn held the tip of his cock, teasing your opening. Even when he was overcome with need, he still took the time to savor this moment. In a moment of impatient desperation, you thrust your hips up off the counter, which Thrawn rewarded with a swift thrust of his hips, his cock finally filling you to the brim. He paused for a moment, letting you adjust. A breathless moan of approval from you is all it took for him to lose himself. 

His thrusts were hard and his pace was quick. He needed this. He needed to feel you beneath his fingers, to know that you were safe in his arms. You threw your head back, the pleasure radiating through your body. In and out, in and out. Thrawn’s breathing was labored, letting out breathy moans. His pace quickened, and he could tell you were nearing another orgasm. Your cunt tightened around his cock as you neared her edge, and Thrawn let out a gasp and another moan, your name on his lips. It was enough to send you over the edge once again, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him closer into you. Feeling your pussy pulse around his cock was just enough to cause Thrawn to lose any remaining composure. “Fuck,” Thrawn grunted, grabbing your hips tight enough to bruise, thrusting his hips even harder. With a final groan, Thrawn’s hips faltered and his cock twitched as he emptied himself inside you.

Thrawn pressed his forehead to yours as you both struggled to catch your breath. He loosened his fingers from their iron grip on your hips, and he was surprised at the slight shake that unsteadied his hand. “That’s new,” Thrawn remarked to himself, still perplexed at how thoroughly you had undone him. He was enamored with you. His hands absentmindedly trailed along your side as he pressed tender kisses along your neck and jaw, still soaking in your scent. He paused when he reached the apex of your neck and he relished the feel of your pulse beneath his lips, further proof that you were alive and well. 

“I love you.” The words tumbled from Thrawn’s mouth, his deep voice barely above a whisper. You froze beneath his touch. Even Thrawn seemed momentarily taken aback by the words which he hadn’t even meant to say out loud. But with every moment that passed, Thrawn realized how true they were. He was in love with you. And, if he was being honest with himself, he had been for quite some time. “I love you,” you whispered back, the softest smile on your face. Thrawn couldn’t help his smile as your lips met again, but this kiss was different: full of passion, yes, but something softer. Love. 

“Damn,” you breathed out, breaking the kiss after several moments. “Maybe warships should attack the ascendancy more often,” you said with a playful smile on your lips. 

Thrawn bit back a growl and, with a scowl, took you into his arms, lifting you off the countertop. “Don’t even joke about that,” he said in a low voice, immediately followed by a soft press of his lips to your temple. Thrawn started towards your bedroom, wondering what exactly he was getting himself into, but knowing that he was in too deep to turn back now. 

[mrsdesade]

1 character x 10 songs x 10 headcanons

The Corinthian (Sandman)

Songs that I think they might be perfect for Mr. Teeth for Eyes because of the lyrics or the vibes, I'm dropping here just because, maybe I can make you discovering new music? I also leave THE CORINTHIAN PLAYLIST I've created for him!

A Little Piece of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold

Baby, don't cry.

You had my heart, at least for the most part. […]

Ripped her heart out right before her eyes.

Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it.

hc: The lyrics is self-explanatory I must say... the whole song is screaming his name and his love story with someone.

—————————

2. Bite - Derivakat

Allow me just one little bite.

Eternity is so rewarding. [...]

Darling, stay with me.

These fangs are my only proposal.

hc: After many years of bonding and sharing feelings, he propose to you to share the eternity, trying to convince you to come to the dark side of being a nightmare like him.

—————————

3. You and I - Aryia

The story begins with a boy and a girl,

she loved the way he was stronger than her

But that sick little fuck, no, he didn't stop.

He took away her voice as she screamed NO!

A killers mind behind the face of God,

The devil's disguise is the great facade.

Mistake manipulation for a thing like love.

Started with a kiss but ends in blood.

hc: Ouch, you got the bad ending, he had fun with you, but the story ends in blood and ofc no one can help you against him. You trusted him, but he just played with your feeling.

—————————

4. JENNIFER'S BODY - Chris Grey, PLVTINUM & Dutch Melrose

She's out for revenge,

My baby she's out for revenge ah,

Her hands 'round my neck,

Fuck around and you might just be next.

I need to put my hands on Jennifer

Everybody runs away, but I run to her.

hc: You're deranged as him, that's what he likes about you. Sharing murders and crimes with his lovely half, what a dream for him. He loves watching and kissing you when you're covered in blood.

—————————

5. Love Me To Death - Nikki Idol

Love me to death, baby.

Until the end.

You're romantic, diabolic, hypnotic.

You do it so right baby , you make me cry.

We're fucking so hard that we might call this art.

It's like a movie.

Sex, liquor, roses.

hc: What can I say, that's the kind of song that he's gonna play when you two are alone at night in the comfort of your bed. His touch is that of a devil in love, delicate as velvet, warm as a supernova, suffocating as cigarette smoke.

—————————

6. Ride - Chris Gray

Lil baby wanna ride, in the backseat pull over the car.

No she don’t give a fuck if we’re caught,

Runnin’ my hand on her thigh.

She said “I’m all yours for the night”

She came for the ride.

Le'ts fell in love for just a night.

hc: This song is giving me city night vibes, the endless hours that you two have spent taking aimless road trip in his car, free and unregulated, always end with a night of passion. And he loves it so much, you've no idea.

—————————

7. MASOCHIST - Ellise

It's bitter and sweet, oh, he's pretty and mean […]

My baby's a freak, yeah.

And I'm a masochist.

I'm stuck in his teeth, yeah.

There's poison on his lips, 'cause the bad ones love you better.

hc: Impossible not to fall for him, you accepted being his property and somehow saved your life... what you don't say is that you're having maybe too much fun in this dangerous situation.

—————————

8. Eat your Young - Hozier

I'm starving, darling,

Let me put my lips to something,

Let me wrap my teeth around the world,

Start carving, darling.

hc: Quite obvious as a choice, but the text speaks for itself. In a courtship he would be really sly, he would make you feel extremely flattered and desired, the outcome will then depend on how interesting you can be for him.

—————————

9. DANCE! Till We Die - 6arelyhuman

I wanna dance until we die, bitch I'm blinded by the lights

Yeah we do this every night!

Swear to God, I'm living fast, but everything movin' slow.

Wanna lock into my eyes, see the Devil, that's inside.

hc: He can hunts victims also in nightclubs, because he find it fun, and this song takes me back to scenes like that. Imagine dancing with him in the disco lights and being unaware that you are so close to the most dangerous predator in the city.

—————————

10. Mary on a Cross - Ghost

We were searching for reasons.

To play by the rules,

But we quickly found,

It was just for fools.

[…]

Your beauty never ever scared me.

hc: Predictably I couldn't leave this song out, the final phrase makes me weak for happy ending with him. When you discovered the secret behind his glasses, instead of running away you stopped to observe better, with sincere curiosity, caressing his cheeks in a caring way.

That's all for now! Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to suggest more characters, when I'm done with my comfort characters I'll be delighted to please you with music about yours 🤍

[surelevi]

i. “take me down easy” - james henry jr. // ii. “avocado, baby” - los campesinos! // iii. “a horse with no name” - america

( yahya abdul-mateen ii, cis man, he/him ) — Look who it is! If you take a look at our database, you’ll find that LEVI ST. JAMES is a THIRTY-SIX year old VETERINARIAN that’s been in Chicago for TEN YEARS. According to the file, they’re a mutant on LEVEL TWO with the power of FIRE HORSE PHYSIOLOGY. That must be why they’re PASSIONATE and ASSERTIVE. If you ask me, they remind me of a liquor bottle marked by days, blazing chariots with no riders, an empty house where once there was a home. They are affiliated with NOBODY.

QUICK FACTS:

full name: levi joshua st. james

date of birth: april 30th, 1987

zodiac big three: taurus sun, leo moon, capricorn rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

ethnicity: black

nationality: american

languages spoken: english (5), spanish (4), french (4), italian (4)

enneagram: 1w2

mbti: istp

temperament: phlegmatic

alignment: lawful neutral

ability: fire horse physiology

affiliation: n/a

alias: n/a

BACKSTORY:

extremely barebones rn because i just wanna get the update up ! so just the important stuff !

triggers: mention of infidelity, alcoholism

same old song and dance - born to mama st. james after a brief hiatus between herself and dad st. james. was accepted just the same as any bio son !

that said, this time... it did not take long for anyone to realize he was a mutant because the motherfucker was born with hooves, fire, and a mane.

was able to shift the hooves and mane by the time he was grade-school aged, but never the flames on the side of his face. burning. breathing. heaving. fl- flames! (kael that one was for u)

time skippity skip

went to college in new york and met a woman, carina, whom he fell head over heels for. and her the same !

some years pass, he asks her to marry her, she says yes ! they have a great wedding !

some more years pass, she gets a job opportunity in chicago. wanting the best for his wife, thinking it a nice change of pace, and knowing his sister lived there, levi was like ‘oh hell yeah!’

some more years pass, they have their first child, charlotte.

do you love it ?

loves it.

roughly three years later, levi learns that there’s one facet left to his ability when he thought he’d discovered them all: immortality.

(idk how he discovered it yet maybe he should’ve died at some point maybe he met someone who just knew idk)

a history of alcoholism that has not yet been referenced because this is totally barebones ( a prev dead partner too ), he relapsed when he realized that he would not only outlive carina, but outlive his child. 

he would come home late and sloppy. he would miss work. he was probs fired idk! just bad timez all around, worsened when he found out carina had been having an affair. ( but he never got violent, just wanna make that clear :eyebrow_raised_emoji: ) 

when carina officially proposed a divorce, he was not happy about that... but, like... the fuck was he gonna do ? but he didn’t wanna lose his family unit :(

lol turns out charlotte really loved her dad because, unbeknownst to any of the three, she had some little pheromone mutation shit that made them stay together and got levi clean.

but it was broken, again with the help of bones, and carina assumed levi had something to do with it since it did directly what he wanted.

she got sole custody of charlotte, leaving levi with visitation rights... but he has a hunch that, if he were not visibly mutant, it would be split -- yes, he still may have less days, but his only crime would’ve been a history of alcoholism with no violent incidents and a clean slate for a year. nonetheless...

so now he’s fucking around and finding out.

got his job back, started going to AA meetings, started leaving the city when he needed a break as a whole -- the whole nine yards. but it still isn’t enough !

blahblahblah his daughter :eye_emoji:

TIMELINE:

1987: born to a family of mutants. is not the biological son of his father’s, but is treated as such. wants for little ! has a fiery mane and hooves.

1993: has already learned to shift his hooves into regular feet and do away with the mane, but will never be able to do away with the rest of the fire ( consult task for locations ).

2008: levi meets carina– aka, the woman who will wind up becoming his wife. they hit it off, no powers needed.

2011: levi proposes and she says yes ! they have a lovely little wedding !

2012: they relocate to chicago, where january is residing, due to a job opportunity.

2016: they start trying for a child.

2018: they have a daughter: charlotte. 

2021: levi learns he’s immortal which has made things rough in paradise. he’s turned back to drinking, leaving carina to pick up the pieces. she’s begun an affair. carina decides that it’s best for all involved if they get a divorce. the next day, everything was back to the way it had been... ( turns out charlotte had a little spell of her own -- one she wasn’t aware she was casting, but one that kept her dad in the picture )

2022: everything has been going so well ! then bones stepped in like the hero dog he is, did a lil nip nip, and made the spell drop. carina assumed levi had something to do with it since it had reinforced what he wanted and they had no other way to explain it. she wound up getting sole custody of charlotte but, because his only crime was a history of alcoholism with no violent incidents + he’d been sober for a year, he has a suspicion that a factor in why he didn’t get even two days... is because he’s a visible mutant and carina is not.

2022/2023: he’s been trying to get back into the habit of being… a good guy, to say the least. he’s been trying to become healthier with aa meetings, trying to make new friends, and branching out more, all in the hopes that he’ll gain more than just visitation rights.

HEADCANONS:

the kid he got to keep in the divorce ? their great dane, bones. blake had forgiven bones for the bite – dogs are too smart, it’s very canon that bones knew what was going on and had to find a way to alert them both! – but… he was levi’s concern now.

he still looks up to january – and not just because of how powerful she is. that said, her power can make him underestimate himself. between her ability to warp all of reality and his father’s ability to affect the whole world by changing the weather, he’s like “look at this cool party trick!” 

takes in every stray that comes to the vet and stays for over three weeks with no takers. he now has three cats and three dogs. cats: froot loop, frosted flake, mini wheat. dogs: bones ( the og! ), green bean, zucchini. then he also has a bearded dragon and some fishes.

on that note, an exercise junkie -- which is perfect for the big dogs ! they get lots of activity !

hopes to establish a decent rapport with carina again. he knows they’ve begun butting heads now, her angry over the spell she believes he cast, him angry over why she got sole custody... but, once upon a time, they loved each other. and they both love charlotte. he wants visitations to go smoothly, and he wants to be a proper dad to charlotte as opposed to someone uncle-adjacent.

often thinks ‘life is too short to hold grudges’... then remembers he’s immortal, lol.

will head out to the wooded areas beyond chicago when he really needs to escape... and turn into a fire horse...

idk i had other things to say but i forgot them! so i’ll add them later!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

his ex-spouse / co-parent of his daughter !!! filled so description has been deleted because that’s a long one !

besties ! there throughout the relationship through the divorce. 

co-workers ! some more vets or vet techs !

family ! i do believe the st. james family has been established as being fairly large, so… hit kael up first FAHODSUILAJS then me !

new people for him to love ! *eye-roll emoji* <- i just copied and pasted my old connections so this was tailored to lover boy levi, but i’ll keep it.

brainstorming !

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO CATA COSMIA, JASON PETER TODD. 🌕

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Benito age: 24 pronouns: He/Him ooc contact: @finalgirlboy (twitter) other characters in xc: N/A

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

name: Jason Peter Todd age: 25 pronouns: He/Him series: DC Comics canon point: Pre-Knight Terrors

app triggers: Domestic/child abuse, drug abuse, overdose, child death, paternal/maternal death, vague depersonalization, canon typical violence

personality:

Jason Todd is a puzzle, even unto himself. He is the product of a series of fractured families, broken homes, and the bitch of circumstance. A good portion of his actions are done for the sake of reaction; he works under the impression that he is the most hated guy in the room, and will often do whatever in his power to make sure he’s correct in that assumption. It’s part of his process, the way in which he tries to take control of a situation. If he can control the reaction, he knows where he stands. If he knows where he stands, he doesn’t have to spend time making nice. Fuck climbing the ladder. Knock the building over and build it back yourself. How else do you know what the guts look like?

Which is the problem with Jason, in many ways. He cannot progress, socially or emotionally, because he is constantly tearing down the fruits of his own labor. People cannot approach him in earnest, he cannot let his walls down long enough to be seen at his most vulnerable. Dying at fifteen will do that to you. Stunt your emotional intelligence, keep you from learning the things most adults ought to know.

He has become consumed by the desire to prove himself. In his mind, it’s a form of vengeance. A chance to show that he is more than what is expected of him. The reality of these actions are much more grim. They’re cries for help; calls for the validation he never got from the people who taught him only how to be what they needed of him. A boy waiting for his dad to say, ‘Good job.’ A dog waiting for his treat. He is trapped in a cycle he isn’t even aware he’s in, and the longer it goes on, the higher the body count gets.

something your muse struggles with: He copes with his own emotions poorly, lashes out, does everything to avoid the self reflection necessary to free him of the cycle he traps himself in. He carries the name of his killer like a brand, aligns himself with ideals and actions antithetical to his own proposed idea of what is good and just. He constantly sets himself up for failure to avoid the painful and unknowable struggle of accountability and growth. Fuck the road less traveled. Who knows what’s out there?

your muse’s greatest strength: Jason is passionate. That’s the heart of his conflict and his strength, really. He loves so much that it hurts. Everything he feels is felt in extremes, but at his heart, he loves deeply and loves forever. His family, his brothers—he would do anything for them, even if he’d never admit it. At the center of every conflict he has is love. The perceived lack of it, the excess of it. Jason Todd is defined by a love felt so deeply it has rotted and festered.

history / background:

Born to Willis and Catherine Todd, Jason was born and raised on the streets of Gotham City. Growing up caring for his mother and dealing with his emotionally and physically abusive father, he learned at a young age that love was as dangerous a weapon as it was powerful a force. After losing his mother to an overdose, he turned to petty crime. Serendipity shined down on him in the form of the Batmobile parked right on his street, missing its goddamn hubcaps, like the Holy Grail of suckers-to-rob. Maybe he got a bit cocky trying to go back for seconds.

Batman offered him a deal. If he let Batman enroll him in a reform school for boys, he wouldn’t turn him in. Jason wasn’t going to argue. Food, bed, and schooling? It wasn’t ideal, but better than the alternative. Only moderately. You know how it goes. Your school ends up being the front for a crime ring run by a crazy old woman, you help Batman stop a museum heist, and suddenly you’re Robin. Suddenly you have a mentor. Not just a mentor—suddenly you have a father. An older brother. A home.

Jason loved being Robin. He loved being Bruce’s son. There was a mean streak to him, an underlying paranoia of a shoe waiting to drop. Maybe that was why Bruce cared for him so deeply; why he adopted him, even before Dick. The recognition of himself in Jason. Maybe that was what he feared, too. Jason had a penchant for trouble, one that culminated in the ultimate consequence. While following a paper trail to uncover the identity of his mother, he was kidnapped, beaten, and ultimately killed by the Joker.

…and yet, he wasn’t. Not technically. An anomaly in time, corrected six months later, painfully brought him back to life, still in his grave. Scared, injured, and lying in a coffin, he dug himself out and fell into a coma from his newly refreshed wounds from the Joker. The aftermath is a bit hazy; he was thrown into a Lazarus Pit, revitalized, improved, some might say. Trained. Given the time and resources to harness his anger, to let it fester and corrupt his motivations. He returned to Gotham to confront Batman—to confront Bruce—not for letting him die, but for letting the Joker live. For not avenging him, his son, for not punishing him for separating them.

Refused the catharsis he wanted by Bruce, he turned his sights to Blüdhaven and Dick Grayson, his dear brother, and caused some havoc there. He didn’t blame Dick, really, but he knew him. Knew how he’d react to Jason; maybe it was the appeal of making someone hurt, making someone as angry as he was all the time. Maybe he wondered if Dick would reach out to him in a way Bruce hadn’t. It didn’t go as planned, to say the least. It seemed the world valued Jason Todd much more as a memorial in a cave than they did a living fuck-up.

The road beyond that is unclear. He’s reformed, in the vaguest of terms. Still willing to take that final step that Dick and Bruce won’t. Still willing to get his hands dirty. But his causes were… perhaps noble wasn’t the word, but they were generally good. He even worked amicably with Dick sometimes. Bruce was a harder nut to crack.

Now the universe is crumbling. The multiverse is crying out, and the finger’s on him. Because it always is, isn’t it? Maybe it is his fault. Maybe he shouldn’t have come back. The multiverse isn’t exactly kind to him.

Maybe the next one will be.

powers / abilities: this dysfunction is all natural baby!

inherent abilities:

Peak Human Condition: He keeps himself at peak physical condition using regimens given to him by both Bruce and his time with the League of Assassins.

Combat Training: During his time as Robin and after his resurrection, he was trained by highly skilled fighters, including Batman, Nightwing, and Talia al Ghul.

Firearms: Jason is a highly skilled marksman. Ironically, Bruce taught him how to shoot.

Swordsmanship: During his time with the League of Assassins, he was taught how to be a master swordsman by Talia.

Gymnastics/Acrobatics: He’s highly trained and skilled in gymnastics and acrobatics from training by Dick.

Master Detective: Before even being allowed to go out in the field as Robin, he mastered computer science, forensics, and the art of espionage. He’s a good detective, and enjoys a good mystery.

items / weapons:

Red Hood Helmet: Just a red helmet.

Red Hood Outfit: During this era his suit is literally just like. A riding suit. Jacket, shirt, combat pants+boots. His flop era

Red domino mask

Batarangs

Combat knife

Dual handguns

Respirator Mask

Electric Crowbars

starting ability: N/A

starting item: Red domino mask extra: much like the bible i am actively considering only the parts of canon i like and agree with and ignoring the rest

discord id: bestrobin

passcode: [harley voice] whos robin is this anyways?

[britcision]

Hear me out:

The summoning is not the first time they meet since camp

It’s when Damian learns about the ghost shit, but Damian called him a week later

They hung out online after hours, and occasionally met up in person when vigilante schedules allow

Danny worked out he was Robin around when Damian clocked a small town vigi, so they’re able to be open and honest about why they have to cancel

They start dating at Christmas, when Damian invites Danny over to escape his family, Danny greets Damian with a passionate “I LOVE YOU” right off the plane, and Damian promptly proposes

Danny assumes he is kidding

Damian isn’t, but it absolutely becomes a bit they do for every minor or major favour, full “drop to one knee” and all

The bats get used to this nonsense behaviour, but on the last day before Danny goes home he actually asks if Damian was serious the first time

Damian confesses he was

Danny asks if they can be boyfriends first

The “fake” proposal bit is semi-constant for the next two years, in person and online

Damian introduces Danny to various siblings as “the man I will marry” to Danny’s face

Danny introduces Damian to Jazz as “my future husband”

So when Damian steps up to offer his hand in marriage, half the bats legitimately think this is a pavlovian response and maybe just a little brainwashing camp got to Dami after all

Maybe it wasn’t always a cute harmless bit maybe it was an Ingrained Response Oh Dear

Bruce is planning to deprogram Damian

Jason thinks the cult was programming boys for the goddamn ghost king CLEARLY he was behind the camp for this fucked setup

Dick tackles Tim preemptively in case he does it too

Tim has no idea what the fuck is going on

Cass recognises Danny and films them all on her mask cam cuz it’s hilarious

Damian finally breaks away from smooching Danny (he may have been a lil distracted) to tell his family with a straight face that the guy he’s dating will understand

Danny breaks and laughs so hard he loses all credibility as an eldritch horror

Asks how Damian knew

Damian just stares at him all sappy

“I’d know your smarmy smile anywhere”

One more smooch and then Danny saves the world

Damian and Cass explain that no that’s Danny that’s Damian’s dumbass boyfriend while they watch the fireworks

Danny, riled up from Ghost Crimes, swoops in dramatically with a wave of frozen fog and demands his husband, complete with evil laughter

The batfam tense again

Damian slaps Danny square on the nip and tells him to transform

Danny, sheepish, does

Jason slaps him on the other tit for scaring them and demands to be their flower girl

dp x dc prompt #51

when damian was sent to investigate a‘brainwashing summer camp’ he was not pleased. The kid who shared his cabin room might make it more bearable though. Danny seems to hate this place just as much as he does.

Two days later after both of them are tied up in the store room for spying, maybe he should have come in with a better plan.

summer camp dead serious thing that nobody but my brain asked for.

[im-a-goddamn-cat]

My Fanfic Masterpost

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General fic tag || AO3 || FF.net

......

Every fic in each category/fandom list is in order from oldest (top) to newest (bottom).

(Note: I need to update some of the links.)

The X-Files:

One Man Not Alone (MSR; Rated T; 9k+ Words) - What if Mulder was the one who was stung by the infamous bee instead of Scully? ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Parks and Fornication (MSR; Rated E; 3.7k Words) - For the XF-Porn Battle: Fucksgiving Prompt 23: One or both of them getting turned on by fucking in public and being watched. Bonus for dirty talk. ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Mirror on the Wall (MSR; Rated E; 1.6k Words) - For the XF-Porn Battle: Fucksgiving Prompt 37: While getting coffee at work, they overhear others talking about Scully being unattractive, etc. After work when they enter his apartment, Mulder whispers in Scully's ear: "I'm going to fuck you in front of the mirror; I want you to see how beautiful you look when you're spreading your legs for me." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Sweethearts (MSR; Rated E; 3.6k Words) - Mulder and Scully make the best out of an almost ruined Valentine's Day. ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Never Leave You Behind (MSR; Rated T; 2k Words) - On Scully’s first birthday since they went on the run, Mulder has a proposal for her that he thinks she needs. ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Element of Control (MSR; Rated E; 2.2k Words) - Ever since they officially became a couple, Mulder has unknowingly been calling all the shots in his and Scully's sex life. Now Scully decides it's her turn. ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Sweet Birthday (MSR; Rated G; 652 Words) - Mulder gives Scully a lovely birthday celebration. ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

......

The Walking Dead Universe:

Tension (Neggie; Rated: E; 1.9k Words) - "Based off S11E05; What if Gabriel and Elijah hadn't shown up right away to break up what was going on between Negan and Maggie?" ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Better With You (Neggie; Rated E; 4.8k Words) - "Maggie has a nightmare about a certain night while she's with Negan in New York City." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Solace (Neggie; Rated T; 1.7k Words) - "Takes place during S1E4 of Dead City; Negan comforts Maggie after they discover the dead child." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Passion (Neggie; Rated E; 2.7k Words) - "Alternate take on the fight scene in S1E6 of Dead City; Negan and Maggie's fight takes a steamy turn." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Mutual Benefits (Neggie; Rated E; 3.4k Words) - "Negan wants something special from Maggie in return for helping her rescue her son." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Crimson Desire (Neggie; Rated E; 3k Words) - "Red - A primary color that can symbolize anger, hate, passion, love, and lust. Red - Also the color of Negan's scarf and the collar that he makes Maggie wear to mark her as special when he brings her in to be one of his wives. Over time, the lines of these emotions will become blurred and their feelings will progress as they bond and become infatuated with each other." ~ Chapter 1: tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Autumnal (Neggie; Rated G; 100 Words) - "A moment of leaf watching bliss." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Alarming Deal (Neggie; Rated E; 2.4k Words) - "After Daryl acts out, Negan gives the group two options for a punishment: Either he kills Glenn or he gets to fuck Maggie… And of course, Maggie doesn't want her husband to die." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Blood Moon Waltz (Neggie; Rated G; 1.3k Words) - "They are destined to be together as the Blood Moon says." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Future Bliss (Neggie; Rated G; 729 Words) - "Maggie gets a glimpse into what will be." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Mistletoe (Bethyl; Rated G; 539 Words) - "Beth and Daryl share a sweet holiday moment." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Help Needed (Neggie; Rated G; 619 Words) - "A meeting and an offer between two leaders." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Luxurious Couple (Neggie; Rated G; 439 Words) - "Former lovers and partners in crime team back up." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

Contact (Neggie; Rated G; 696 Words) - "Negan and Maggie take comfort in each other." ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net

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Toontown:

AO3 Series: TTR Alpha Key Contest Entries

The End to a New Beginning (Rated G; 427 Words) - "There I was standing in the middle of it all. The chaos, the destruction. All around me toons were panicking, buildings were disappearing, and the outer walls of the playground were slowly fading away." Basically a one-shot about the end of TTO and the start of TTR. ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net (Part of the "TTR Alpha Key Contest Entries" series)

The Story of a Really Kool Kat (Rated G; 632 Words) - “Oh, hey there! My name's Tabitha. You're in for a real treat because this is the story of how I got my dream job at Ursatz for Really Kool Katz.” A short story about the NPC Tabitha from the Minnie’s Melodyland shop “Ursatz for Really Kool Katz.” ~ tumblr || AO3 || FF.net (Part of the "TTR Alpha Key Contest Entries" series)

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Last updated: August 8 2024

[deviltoys]

― this is my first time requesting so let's hope i don't fuck this up [lmao].

taking tobio's [who's the pastor's son] virginity and watching him ask for forgiveness for doing something so inappropriate in the church but then you proceed to degrade him. 🙇

— ‘𝘂𝗻𝗵����𝗹𝘆 𝘃𝗼𝘄𝘀.’

tobio kageyama x top!male reader. (wc; ?)

#a/n: stop. this is my favorite request, ever. virginity loss ‘n blasphemy??? hello? too fuckin’ good, been cravin’ a good virgin tobio. thank you fer’ this, it was perfect!

warings. NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DNI, virginity loss, sacrilege, taboo acts, incest, age gap (18-30), pastor!reader, exhibitionism, sex in a church, misusage of the bible, religious speak, little to no prep, dumbification, creampie, degrading, manipulation, corruption, belly bulge, daddy k.

juvenile ministry took up a huge chunk of the church you operated. being the father to tobio kageyama, it was only natural that he was a frequent volunteer for the group of children who'd visit you both to be taught the righteous laws of god.

your boy was so doting with kids, it lay a smile across your lips to see him so devoted as you'd help demonstrate an array of practices to the youth. he was an apprentice of some sort— you two had a closely knit relationship when it came to chruch work.

almost a little too close.

nobody would ever suspect a thing, right? their nurturing pastor and his passionate son; they wouldn't dream of commiting any corrupt acts against the lord they so dearly fawned about.

the children certainly wouldn't know, such mindless followers. that's why during youth hours the two of you would mysteriously ‘disappear’ while everyone else contributed holy related activities to do while father y/n and tobio went to assist the lord.

you had be fighting the urge to take your son aside and tear his tiny body in half right there inside the sacred haven. but poor little tobio was a virgin, nobody would dare attempt to be the one who would strip the priest’s son of his innocence. you and the younger male had only gone as far as sucking on each others lips or caressing one another in sensual ways that would surely be forbidden by the church.

it was unethical practice to do anything under sexual pretense inside the chapel; with your offspring no less. you were already commiting unforgivable acts unbeknownst to your fellow ministers— what was one more? just another sin strewn onto the pile of ones you had been collecting throughout the years.

the line between faith and abandonment finally blurred out when you caught your little kageyama with pants a size to small for his waist. the fabric rode up, perfectly rounding out and drawing scrutiny to his chubby ass. you were well aware of the scandalous gestures he would send your way while he kept his attention on the children. wiggling his ass out every so often was his main form of communicating his intentions.

he was at last ready to make his daddy proud, giving his body to him as though you were christ himself; submitting to you.

all of his coherent brain function was corrupt by you a long time past, the degenerate acts you two would shun from the eye of society had finally caught up to him. he needed the embrace of his dad, his loving, heavenly father that would fill his holes up with the holy spirit.

“tobio, follow me for a second please? i need to speak with you privately for awhile.” a forged grin took reign of your lips, softly signalling for your son as you escorted him through the barren temple halls. after he had finished passing out coloring activities for the group to engross in, he swiftly followed your lead.

“yes father, what is it that-” you barely gave kageyama a warning before slipping your forearms under his thighs, entangling the remainder of his limbs around your lower and upper body. you lifted his smaller from with ease, hot breath tickling the shell of his ear as your tone dropped to a deep whisper.

“are you ready to give your body to our savior, tobio?”

“yes father y/n, yes i am.”

that was all the confirmation you needed to proceed with blessing him. abandoning your clothes at the altar of god, you began to strip the boy attached to your body. steadily yanking down his suit pants, your cock already springing to life as his own came into view.

it was insatiably erect, you forbid your son from even being curious when it came to exploring his hormones. you knew one day keeping him fresh, unexposed to lewd activity would come in handy.

and it did, oh god it did.

his body was sensitive to the touch, you were concerned he was going to cum without you even putting a hand near his bulge. much less before the fun started. it was like caressing a rock, he was so stiff, the tip already dribbling a tiny bit of pre by the time you were able to finish your first stroke to the hilt.

after giving a few more measly flicks to the head of his cock; you guided tobio’s naked body towards the bible you had prepped specifically for this occasion. the oak pulpit stood tall amongst the various rows of seats— at the head of the stand was kageyama; exposed, ass out, and face burried deep inside the open book sprawled out for easy reading.

he could barely squeak out the first few passages as your lube coated fingers spread his cheeks and stretched his virgin hole to a worthy size; able to fit your fat cock.

it burned and ached, the agony of your fingers poking around his walls overthrew any noticable pleasure that may have slipped in unnoticed; it was torture. he thought intimacy was supposed to feel good. he should've listened when you told him it wasn't fun, how it was a crime against god and how he'd be severely punished for doing as such until he was proposed to by the right man.

but you were the right man, at least that's what you would tell him. so why was it so discomforting, so harsh? you weren't purposefully harming him were you? the paranoia was getting to him, it was so overwhelming, the thought of the man he adored so dearly causing him pain. hot, salty tears pricked his eyes, lashes catching any access fluid as they could meanwhile the clear streaks dusted his cheeks with red.

his hole was still barely twitching with anticipation, and would be for awhile; throwing your head back, you painfully fed kageyama’s rim your length. every inch that ventured just as deep as the last forced strained hiccups to seethe from behind his teeth. he was unbearably tight, his guts sucked you in while his walls showed heavy resistance— pushing you in and out of your trembling son.

“fucking hell.. dumb bitch, you’re so tight. ease up, i thought you'd serve me better- maybe i was wrong.”

no no, you were wrong, right? he was great, such an obedient little cocksleeve just for you, all for you. all he ever did was to please you; the man who he chased after for years, claiming he wasn't as nice as he predicted? panick only settle into him more, ruthlessly he began bucking his hips to match your unenthusiastic thrusts. attempting to appease you wasn't an easy feat, but he was so utterly devoted to you that the condition of his vessel meant nothing if it meant you were proud of him.

he attempted to slur out a form of quivering tongue with a few biblical quotes shoved in-between. whatever he was reciting wasn't human, infact you couldn't tell if he was fucked out or just anxious. whatever it was, your words had preformed their purpose; you were far too impatient to fully prepare him for the world of sex. forcing him to mature on the other hand seemed to run it's course— he was the one himself impelling himself onto at the end of the day.

your arms snaked around his tiny waist, hoisting his feet up and off the ground. the entirety of his lower half no longer met with the floor, steamy tears teased eyes while the remainder of his efforts worked into engulfing you whole. the stimulation of being carried off the ground just like that was unimaginable; only to have his pussy pounded mercilessly into the wooden podium.

“ack! ah.. mm. daddy, pl- please i can do better! m’promise, don't hold back- i want to feel every inch of you!” so vulgar, you weren't aware of tobio’s filthy mouth.

angling your hips to perfectly kiss his prostate with every shift in your pace, you plowed repeatedly into the spongy skin until he was no longer babbling on about anything coherent. whatever bible quote he was now listing off was lost within euphoria; his hole was loosening up more and more with each thrust you planted deep inside of his stomach.

he know knew how desperately he craved seeing your cum gush right out of his gaping ass. more than anything in the world.

“hah, what a stupid whore, letting your father fill up your belly like this? no wonder you can't do anything but flatter me.”

“m’not a stupid whore, daddy i promise!”

the way his cunt squelched around you told otherwise, you didn’t let up on the insults; constantly bombarding the male with word after word. his trembling thighs and drool stained expression prompted you to continue the vile humiliation.

“oh-ho yes you are, you're lucky i’m even taking the time to fuck you like this. the lord wouldn't dare touch you, so why should i? you're charity work kageyama, nothing but pity.”

giving his plump rear a deathly tight squeeze, you ramped up the vigor in your movements. aching breaths escape your nose as you send forth more shivers down the length of his spine— as much as he wants to keep you satisfied he can only withstand so much. this is his first time being lost within the rapturous waves of an orgasm. religious words still on the tip of his tongue as your name bounces off the empty church hull.

there's a puddle of semen beneath you at his feet, he's cum far too many times for you to count and he's just now; once again fighting for release. his limp, shaking shaft all swollen as it spurts out the umpteenth load that session.

you swiftly follow behind, using the last bit of strength in your twitching thigh muscles— you sent your hips forward, fully submerging your fat cock down his rectum. he yelps almost violently, but he adores it. the way you use up his spent hole. the amusement in his moans fizzle once he finally comes to his senses, realizing there's no cum sliding down his guts and into his tummy. the expected feeling of warm, sticky fluid staining his intestines was the big prize he was looking forward to.

“don’t you remember, your only use is to please me tobio. and you couldn't even do that, that's why you don't get daddy's cum. understand?” a disappointed glare forms on your face, once he's luckily unable to see.

he implores like you've never heard from anyone before, you've had your fair share of sexual favours under the church’s nose. but the dark haired male in particular was one of a kind, he was begging you for your seed like his life was dependant on whether or not you fufilled his lustful desires. he needed your cum, right there, right now.

even attempting to guide your entirely hard cock right back into his enormous asshole, which you allowed. your composure was iron-willed, you knew you could cum on command if need be. giving into his sinful fantasies, you pistoned yourself balls deep once more— your hands moving his hips for him as he pleaded for the sweet release of your fluids.

“please daddy, m’such a good cum dump! i promise, please just cum inside of me. i need it, i’ll do anything! anything!”

anything indeed, you had just the thing in mind. and you were sure tobio wouldn't refute, how could he? there wasn't any other choice, it was your cum or no cum. simple as that.

[mehphoobia]

HERE

Pairing- Tom Hiddleston x Reader (news channel anchor)

Summary- People say falling in love can be a scary experience. Well, that scary experience for you had a different meaning for you.

Warnings- blood, horror, mystery, thriller, suspense (I suggest get a water bottle for yourself)

REQUESTS OPEN | MASTERLIST

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"Susan Hive, another 25 y/o was found dead in her apartment approximately at 10:00 am today. Who is the mastermind behind these brutal murders? the mystery is still with the police to crack. The only witness in the case are the walls of the apartment which are covered in parts of human anatomy never seen before just like the other five murders. This is Y/N of NewsToday with cameraperson David on scene." You sighed after finishing your report and looked at the crime scene. The camera person packed his camera and headed towards the van as he couldn't handle the stench. With ripples on your forehead you contemplated your decision. Should you or should you not tell the officers.

But soon you let aside your dilemma. These were brutal murder cases that had everyone shook.

And you had a lead to follow.

"Who are you?" you whispered as you sat in your chair staring at the photo of the deceased Susan Hive with a man. The face was not visible as he wore a black hat and a black overcoat. "Typical" you said gesturing his attire, which was straight out of a murder mystery. Unfortunately, the officers couldn't find him. But the lead you had could directly deliver this man to you.

"North House please" explaining the address to the taxi driver, you couldn't miss his expressions. "You want to go to the North House?" he asked you with genuine concern. "If you are not comfortable, you can just drop me near the curb" you suggested understanding his hesitation. Reluctantly he drove the taxi and there you were. Standing outside the hospital for mental patients. "How much will it be?" asking the driver for the fare you rummaged through your purse.

"I will wait here miss. You can pay me later" he said. Of course, the deaths in this hospital would scare anyone. But you weren't here for the suicides, you were here for the murders.

"I am here to see someone. A Mrs. Hill." you spoke confidentially to the receptionist. "For an investigation, are we?" the receptionist questioned. "It's confidential" you replied with knitted eyebrows. "oh! of course it is." she chuckled.

The receptionist accompanied you to Mrs. Hill's room. She was the oldest patient, who had been in the hospital for for around thirty years. Every patient, every staff member; she had seen for herself. "Are you here for the investigation for Susan Hive?" the receptionist questioned. Your head whipped faster than the wings of a bee. "You knew her?" you enquired. "Yes, I knew all five of them. They were interning under me." she answered.

"Janice Dean" her ID card read. "Of course" you murmured. Ten days back you had found one of the victim's case file from the officers which had something in common. North House, all three of them worked here and now so did Susan Hive.

"Don't worry I won't bug her too much" putting a and on Ms. Dean's shoulder you reassured her. She offered you a tired smile. With that she unlocked the door and you saw Mrs. Hill sitting on her chair.

"He killed another one didn't he?" she enquired in her shaky voice as if she knew it was going to happen. "Yeah. Do you know you he is?" trying to keep your posture, you asked. "No, but I have seen him." she replied. "Black eyes which weren't even his. Long hair which covered his face and the cuts." "Everyone thought, something was wrong in his head. They tried all kinds of medicines but none of them worked. He kept screaming and yelling every day. It would echo you know. The screams. Other patients could feel it too. But the doctors didn't know something." she explained but suddenly trailed off.

"He was possessed" she declared.

"How did he get out. I mean the patient like--" "Demon" she corrected. "We saw a body lying in his room. We thought its him. He had cuts all over his face so it was recognizable. The post mortem reports found out it was one of our doctors. He escaped as his disguise." explained Ms. Dean.

You couldn't get the fact out of your head as you stepped outside the hospital. With quivering hands, you opened the taxi's door. Looking at your condition, the driver ran to the opposite side of the street and bought you a water bottle. "You should go home miss." the driver suggested. "Beverly Hills Apartments please". The driver nodded and drove you home.

Maybe you should tell the police. It was not your job to go after the killer. Of course it would be one of the biggest news article for your company but this, its not worth it. Just then your phone rang. All of that tension and weird feeling in your chest was replaced by a sense of comfort. It was Tom.

"Hey babe! dinner's ready, when are you coming home?" he asked in his cheerful voice. You chuckled and said, "I started right now. Is my kitchen all right?" you mocked. "Uh..sort of. I'll help you clean though" he replied like a child caught doing something wrong. It was comforting to have him in your life. Amidst all of this, he was the exact person you needed. "Love you honey" you said unexpectedly. He could sense your uneasiness and knew your line of work. It can be terrifying sometimes. "Love you too..Hey, I am right here." he said immediately putting a smile on your face.

You met him three years ago. How boring can news conferences be? it was something you knew very well. But it was a little bit tolerable when a hot shot investigating officer suddenly made his way to you. Tom and you immediately clicked. As if you were meant to be. One date led to another and suddenly he started picking you up from your work almost every single day. You remembered he had proposed on your cruise date which had you in complete awe. How could you say no to such a perfect man. His beautiful eyes which were a perfect peek to your universe, his warm embrace and how he fit in your life perfectly made it so much easier. He made it easier.

The sudden nostalgia calmed your nerves and you took a deep breath in. Within no time you were home. You leaped out of the taxi, paid the man and ran to your apartment. As you were going to ring the bell, Tom opened the door and picked you up in his arms. Both of you giggled as he kissed you passionately. With your fingers curling in his long wet hair and his arms coiling your waist, you could melt under his effect and you did.

"Tada!! Fish N chips" Tom declared in his voice that he called his disney voice. You chuckled at his endearing self. Both of you couldn't spend enough time with each other with all these murders. He too was tensed but never showed it in front of you. The least you could do was to help him out. You watched your favorite drama as the both of you ate your dinner.

After the chocolate ice-cream, he got up to get the wet wipe to wipe your face which was covered in chocolate. You were gone out cold because of the tiring day. He picked up the plates and noticed you had run out of kitchen soap. "Back in a few" he wrote on a post it and pasted it on the fridge. He wore his black overcoat and decided to forego his phone and left.

"Tom? babe?" you woke up around five minutes and searched the house. Suddenly the post it note grabbed your attention. You chuckled when you saw it and you knew a lot of unwanted things were gonna be purchased. Who could help it, its Walmart after all.

You saw his phone and found his headphones on the table. He would sit on his chair for hours and listen to his music but he never shared them with you. So you grabbed the opportunity and plugged in his headphones.

"19-21-19-1-14 8-9-12-12" the first song read. Then you realized it was a recording. "Mr Hiddleston sings?" you scoffed as you pressed the play button.

"Ahhh" a woman screamed and with that you immediately grabbed the headphones and threw them. "Oh God" you whined as you rubbed your ears. You played all the five recordings and all of them were similar. Screams. Then it hit you. The numbers were different and were too wrong to be dates. WHAT IF?

"19,S,21,U,19,S,1,A,14,N 8,H,9,I,12,L,12,L" you wrote on a piece of paper. "Susan hill?" you gasped. All the other four recordings added up to the all the other four victims. You sat there staring at the paper.

"It took you long enough" Tom spoke from behind you. You flinched as walked away from him. "Did you?" you asked. "The screams, oh my soul was cleansed" he said as he put his hand on his chest. Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you looked at his face. He was in content, in peace. "Why did you kill them? What had they done to you?" you enquired.

"THEY LAUGHED!!" he yelled. Your eyes widened as you looked at him. It wasn't your Tom, it was someone else.

He was possessed.

"They fucking laughed when I was being experimented on. I cried for help but they were too busy laughing. Fucking bitches" he scoffed. "You know when I made cuts on their skin how peaceful it felt. Slowly, deeply I dragged my knives on their skins and watching them slowly dying because of the pain. So good. They were the ones who cried and screamed and I was the one who laughed." He was a maniac explaining his masterplan. Little did he know everything he said, you were recording it all.

"You think you can run away with it?" you mocked trying to make him spill out. "How will they know Y/N? I am the chief investigating officer." he ran the tip of his fingers on your cheeks. But you didn't waver, he was a demon. "All this time I have been trying to erase all the evidence" he spoke as he turned his back on you.

"But you?" he turned and walked towards you. He bought his face closer to your neck and kissed your neck. If it were any other day, your eyes would slowly close themselves as he would press you against the surface. But today there was nothing but tears. "You are my favorite. I can't leave any witnesses. But don't worry, your screams will live in my recordings. You know how much I love making you scream now don't you my love?" He laughed sheepishly.

THUD THUD. The bang on the door grabbed his attention. He looked at you made a sign with a finger in his lips. Was this the man you loved? Who was he? You thought as you looked at him slowly unlocking the door.

"Ahh LEAVE ME GET OFF" he yelled in surprised as the police officers pinned him on the floor. Slowly you got your phone in front of him which you were hiding behind you and showed him the 911 number. The officers dragged him away but his hooded eyes would not leave your soul.

Two days later, while clearing his room. You found a notebook with all the five victim's name on it which was struck of with a red marker and also five knives covered in dried blood. "Why?" you whimpered as tears made their way down your cheeks. Your company had printed one of the biggest hit ever and were at the top. You were promoted and were appreciated by everyone but at what cost? You were scarred for life.

Back in the North House, Mrs Hill was sitting on her chair as the receptionist were cleaning her room. "Oh no" Mrs Hill exclaimed. "What is it Nana?" enquired Ms. Dean. "Y/N call her!! NOW"

Something was going to happen.

At the prison cell, all the officers were in havoc as one of the security guard was found dead in Tom's prison cell. Hysterical laughs and water droplets echoed through the hallway as Y/N was written on the wall and was struck of by the dead security guards' blood.

You were sleeping when Ms. Dean called you. "Hello" you spoke in your grumpy voice, the sleeping pills were slowly kicking in. "T-TOM!" her line was cut because of the heavy rain. Just then you got a message that Tom had escaped.

"What? where did he go?" you murmured to yourself and then you heard it. The hysterical laughter and the sound of the recording button being pushed.

"I am right here my love" he said.

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A/N: Hey guys, here is my first Tom Hiddleston fic. For the those of you who don't know me personally I am a contemporary dancer and this fiction I had seen being performed on the stage. I loved the suspense and I loved writing it even more. Writing this was a challenge and it was a wonderful experience and I hope you all like this as well.😘

Tom Hiddleston is such a versatile actor and just fits in any character which is the main reason why I love him so much. It was very easy for me to visualize his demeanor in this character and I tried my level best converting it into words. Let me know what you think about this fic.😃

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My requests are open. So ahead and check my masterlist and send me your plots.

Love yourself...you are worth it❣❣

[nat-20s]

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad. 

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show  applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of  a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon:  No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true.  Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look. 

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

[eggtrolls]

okay so here's all the shit-talking about these assholes as promised.

please read and vote on whether or not I should send a scathing email about how they're all fucking useless and I don't respect them

pertinent background info: organization's "leadership" is me (your resident dyke MC), two other women (Unfriendly Caitlin, who we like, and the well-meaning if flaky Daniella), and two men (Fucking B and Fucking C), both of whom have young children. we have a standing meeting every other Thursday night that is scheduled at a time so that Fucking B & C can get their kids to bed at a reasonable hour.

in late January/early February we hear about a grant opportunity from the city for like....2500-5000 dollars for parks groups. given that our "budget" is about as much as the change in the average fraternity house sofa, this would be a big fucking boost. it covers A LOT of shit, like 'parks stewardship' and 'environmental action', 'youth development', etc. Unfriendly Caitlin and I are like hey let's do the stewardship because we are stewards and it's kinda, you know. the fucking point here.

we agree on the validity of applying for the stewardship grant. cool. grant is due March 15th. remember this.

given the meeting schedule above, we are supposed to have a meeting on February 22nd. On February 21st at 11 am, Fucking C texts the groupchat and is like hey I'm simply not vibing with the idea of a meeting tomorrow, which was going to be in person at Fucking B's house, so I'm going to cancel it and we can just meet on the 29th.

(clarification: Fucking C is not actually in charge of anything. he's just been doing this the longest. but yeah "vibes", so cancelling the meeting)

And the grant is still due on March 15th.

and I'm like well a) I can't meet on the 29th, the reason we have this scheduled MONTHS in advance is so people can schedule around it, which is what I did, and I have plans on the 29th and b) can you give me more than 32 hour notice for cancelling in-person events in the future, you weasel fuck?

Unfriendly Caitlin also can't be there on the 29th. Fucking B & C + Daniella decide to have the meeting anyways on the 29th. at this point I'm no longer interested because I have tickets to see my biological mother (Bianca del Rio) with @roycohn that night and no longer feel pain.

March 4th: I text Daniella and ask if we can talk about the grant proposal. she says we can talk tomorrow and "I'll send you my Calendly link". this never happens. we never discuss the grant.

March 9th: Fucking B informs me that at the February 29th meeting they (Fucking B, C, & D) decided that we're not going to apply for a stewardship grant! we (idk who we is but sure, "we") are going to apply for the funding for 'organizational development' so we can get a professional website and insurance and pay for a consultant. but actually, Fucking B isn't so sure we should apply at all right now since it would make us ineligible for applying to the same funding source in 2025 when he expects our budget will be ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS.

(current budget is literally less than my rent but yeah the 100,000 dollars we're definitely-maybe have in 2025. sure.)

((I later find out that Fucking B's real reservation about applying is that the grant guidelines explicitly prohibit spending the money on his passion project so, like, is it even worth it? answer, no and also kys))

instead of ripping out my hair and eating it, I say "Great!" and ask if anyone has started on the grant application since they have completely torpedoed the suggestions agreed upon by the entire group and didn't tell me for almost two weeks.

complete radio silence.

March 11th: I ask if anyone has made any progress on the grant. 6 hours later, Fucking B asks me if the grant is due Friday, the 15th. I say yes. complete radio silence afterwards.

I then spend the next 4 days pulling pieces of information out of Fucking C like a child pulling the wings off a moth. what is our budget. what is our correct budget because these numbers are wrong. what's the login to the grant portal. hi, please tell me the login to the grant portal. did you submit all the paperwork for the previous grant.

and I then spend about 10 hours writing this entire thing from scratch and submit it at 11:54 pm. radio silence from both Fucking B and C. Unfriendly Caitlin got laid off (works in tech) and is out of the state because her sister just had a baby. the people who actually help me with this in any way are that wretched beast @roycohn and the sickos from Reddit. the closest I get to any kind of acknowledgement is Daniella saying, quote, "I'm sure it [the grant] is solid and thanks for taking the lead on that".

thanks. for taking. the lead. on that.

I must not give up on writing the fucking grant. giving up on writing the fucking grant is the mind killer. giving up on writing the fucking grant is the little death that brings total having no money. I will face my writing the fucking grant. I will permit it to pass over me and through me so I may write the fucking grant. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path of writing the fucking grant. Where the giving up on writing the fucking grant has gone there will be nothing…only I (the grant recipient) will remain

[cowboisadness]

Found You {Arthur Morgan x F!reader}

Summery: She was there for Arthur through everything, being more than good friends but less than partners. They support eachother through the good and bad times, it's not love tho, no, it's not love at all.

Rating: M. Basically porn with plot. More plot than i planned i really got carried away with this. I’m mean to Mary i’m sorry. Includes angst, heartbreak and all that painful shit.

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Chapter 1 - Found If it wasn't for Dutch and Hosea, I wouldn't know where I would be, probably dead years ago. Living a life of crime just to get by after fleeing an abusive home isn't something a 16 year old should go through, especially a girl. Cutting my hair with a knife I had stolen helped me pass as a boy. The world was unkind, downright brutal, but I somehow survived on the streets for a year. Pickpocketing became second nature, i never got caught, until the one day that i must have not been as aware of my surroundings as i should have been.The greasy old man turned and grabbed my wrist before I had the chance to react, calling me all the horrid words under the sun before pulling me away from any seeing eyes and beating me. Two men rounded the corner at my shouts, and with my luck they were the men I had successfully stolen from before I approached the man beating me. I was done for.The two men turned out to be Dutch and Hosea and for the first time in my life, I had a home and a family I felt safe with. Dutch and Hosea taught me how to read and write, run cons, become a sharpshooter, how to survive together. I learned to be a delicate woman when needed and a brutal outlaw when that was needed. Arthur taught me how to hunt, how to live off the land. When i was older and experienced enough we would run jobs together, we worked like a well oiled machine, knowing what the other was going to do without having to say a word. We got closer because of it, being able to confide in eachother and talk about anything.

I never saw him as a brother like I do with John, he was my best friend and I cared about him deeply. I of course hoped he viewed me the same, a best friend, instead of a sister and I was given an answer to my unasked questions after sharing a few drinks thanks to a successful stagecoach robbery we executed when I was 18, he had recently turned 20. We probably drank more than we should have and one thing led to another, before I knew it we were entangled in eachothers arms in one of the saloons rental rooms. Unable to keep our hands and mouths off eachother. It was awkward but gentle, with it being my first time. His kisses leaving trails of electrocuting passion, his hands gripping me so hard bruises would form. Any doubts of what we were doing flew out of the window once his head was between my legs, it was like we were the only souls in existence, two beings needing each other to survive. His eyes never left mine when he finally took me, i swear i could feel myself drowning when gazing into those ocean eyes. My whole body was floating and on fire, my nerves like shooting stars, bursts of white in my vision like the birth of the ever burning sun. Reaching the end together felt like the most beautiful experience I will ever share with another, holding onto each other as we descended back to earth.We kept it secret from the others but as the gang began to grow, it got harder to hide it. We never advanced our relationship, keeping it to just fooling around and being there for each other whenever we needed a release. We were perfect for eachother in that regard, after a successful job it would be passionate, baring on the cusp of loving. If a job didn't go as planned or we had pent up frustrations, it would be borderline animalistic, using each other to release those frustrations selfishly. Everything changed eight months in, when he met Mary. He really cared about her, and she him. We wouldn't go on jobs together as much, sometimes we would go alone and i’d fuck anyone that would bring upon any sort of twinge between my legs, men or women. I still remember his face when he told me he loves her, wanted to be with her forever. I was happy for him, he was still my best friend. I was the only one in the gang he showed the ring to, wanting to know if it's perfect, asking how he should propose, calming his nerves before he left to see her that night. I'd never seen him so happy when he returned the evening after, boasting and telling the whole camp he's going to be married. The twinge in my heart was evident, but I truly was happy to see him happy. Mourning what we had wasn't right, we were nothing more than fuck buddies that would confide in eachother and support eachother...that wasn’t love...no, it wasn’t. I was there for him when they would argue, being his shoulder to cry on, bringing him Whiskey to help numb the pain, willing him to sleep with the promise that tomorrow will be better for them. I was the one Mary came to one day when she came to the camp alone, handing me the ring he had proposed to her with. The marriage was off. He didn't return that night, or the night after, on the third day I readied up my horse with a few days worth of supplies and with the intent to find him and bring him home. Two days on the road brought nothing, he wasn't in the usual spots that would come to mind, he didn't want to be found. I pushed on, the thought of him being alone or even in danger making me desperate. A couple of thieves on the road thought it was their lucky day when they happened upon me camping within the woods, alone with no man around to be my saviour. They didnt know who they were fucking with until they felt the cold sting of my knife in their throats the second they laid their filthy hands on me. I packed up and carried on into the night, not bothering to wash the blood off myself properly, that was the last of my worries right now. The night was still young when I saw smoke in the distance, a whinney in the distance causing my horses ears to prick up and focus in the same direction. The sound of a familiar friend. Drawing closer and pulling my horse up to the other, I saw him beside the fire, he didn't notice me till I had dismounted and made my way over. “I’ve found you.”