#What Can A Man Do To Stop P
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fun-esta · 3 months ago
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cosmicdenro · 4 months ago
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u guys should know a crow is friends with me now....... smiles
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time-is-restored · 2 years ago
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btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)
tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!
but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).
rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.
my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’
it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.
and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!
(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)
again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).
and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!
and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.
so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.
that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.
i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.
#this is the most measured version of this post i was capable of fghjskdjhgfdgjhsfd#the least measured one is just the aromantic flag with the ‘we are going to beat u to death’ meme overlaid#look ik this is hardly impartial wrt very small + insular communities like nuclear families#but its fucking impossible to go into media analysis and not bring Anything from ur real life in there w u#so im trying to forgive myself for being a little hashtag Vulnerable + Opinionated on main#in the spirit of what this show could’ve been lol#if not here then where etc etc#Ted lasso spoilers#Ted lasso meta#Ted lasso critical#also just to be clear here im being dead serious abt that last point#im spiritually doing the jamie run to demonstrate to u all how badly i want gen shit#please. p l e a s e .#okay wait last ramble here but. this is also why the lack of information we got on trent was so crushing to me#like ur telling me this man went through the incredibly painful + harrowing process of breaking out of his (comfortable! safe) shell +#cynical journalist persona. came out to someone VERY important in his life. and has done nothing but face the music wrt acknowleding#his past mistakes + endeavouring to be better and kinder. and we never get to know if he has ANY support through all that? at all?#is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period?????#like i can should must and will die on the beard + roy + higgins + colins are trents best friends hill but#its like the premise of the show stopped mattering just in time for him to be left in a legitimately depressing limbo#like 'yes everyone needs love + support bc life is rlly hard. but we're tired of making a show abt that so This Is All Ur Getting#+ screw anyone's personal life that u didn't already see in s1. You Know Enough.'#anyway i love u all this is a very silly show and im gonna go play t.o.t.k for a few hours o/ <3
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show-us-kaidenshenandoah · 13 days ago
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trust me, i'm mixed but decidedly am nonetheless Not Black in said mix, and i know what person gets awkward "chuckles" and whose "childish" usage of language (mine) gets actual laughter
#i just saw a tiktok of non-Black people using Very Evident AAVE and like. idk if theyre fluent in AAVE or not bc im not fluent#and i know growing up by proxy of those communities (even if you yourself are Non-Black) can lead to fluency and Black people#tend to welcome those fluent speakers. im not talking to those people. but anyone who is not fluent?? stop it#youre missing the real comedy gold here buckaroo for that racist poppycock and fiddlesticks. the fuck#...but yeah im not fluent in AAVE at all and even i was p sure the people in that tiktok were not fluent either like ew yucky#last time i experienced people being uncool like that was at a party where a white dude whose background implied he was#definitely appropriating AAVE ''because the word just sounds funnier'' (i wonder why. ask yourself why an AAVE word sounds ''funny'')#bc bro went to private school in a largely white neighborhood and he kept being baffled that people found me funnier than him#like gee its almost comedy is funnier when it is thoughtful about why you are using the words youre using to what end#but the guy was BEFUDDLED like he wanted the social currency i was getting but he didnt want to be seen as ''lame'' for#using words that were ''uncool and babyish'' like. yeah. thats the comedy. thats the point. its that juxtaposition of that#with me being super rad and tubular you silly-billy. i dont feel babied at all for using the words i do#in fact i think itd be eVEN FUNNIER if some manly man started using ''smoochy-smooch'' and ''lickety-split''#anyway. that tiktok brought me unwelcome flashbacks. fuck that party-guy. ugh#(for the record: i did try to correct him. but he kept insisting ''its not AAVE; it's internet slang'' and id be like ''yeah okay but where#do you it came from before the internet?? have you even looked it up?'' and hed say ''i dont need to. shit came from twitter. i saw it#happen myself'' like?? ''nO YOU DIDNT. YOU JUST SAW WHEN IT ENTERED YOUR SPHERE OF THE INTERNET. THAT DOESNT#MEAN IT WAS BORN THERE YA GOOFY-GOOBER'' smh i tried)#(ps. i have since learned you gotta google that shit FOR THEM and IN FRONT OF THEM. and even then its a 50/50. god damn it)#me
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fangsandsoftgrass · 5 months ago
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Working on a piece ive had concept notes on for a MINUTE that I finally have the energy to write LOL anyway it's like almost midnight and I'm v sleep deprived so excuse the rough nature of this little draft preview :33
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daz4i · 4 months ago
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you know how sometimes you will randomly unlock a memory that doesn't actually mean much. anyway i just now remembered one of those. for context when i was. i wanna say 15. i nearly got into this fancy boarding school for arts and science we have here. and this memory was from the final stage of entry. i was "auditioning" for humanities and for art. and in art they had us draw this combination of objects in front of us with pencils. and they gave us an hour i think? but i finished in 30 minutes (the finisherrrrr). and mind you it was a very decent drawing. a bit too dark but still p accurate. but the teacher there saw that i finished early and went "...try to correct stuff" and i asked what and he said "find them yourself" which only caused me to ruin that drawing bc i tried correcting the dark areas smh. anyway all this was to unlock another part of my backstory for you guys, i was actually an artist before, at a relatively high level for my age back then even. yeah i dunno what went wrong in the years since either
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yeahlikethebird · 7 months ago
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#it's 1am and i'm depressed and don't want to go to bed#there's such an unbelievable amount of century-defining tragedy and horror in the world rn#and i know that’s always true but jfc we know about so much more of it simultaneously now#like i'm supposed to be chill and functional in the face of war pandemic climate change forever chemicals micro plastics and fascism?#and and and?#i'm supposed to smile and ask follow-up questions when people tell me about vacations to Hawaii#rather than shaking them and saying holy fuck stop doing that please learn about the ramifications and historical context of your actions#i'm supposed to smile and give a measured response when a new coworker asks my other coworker and me#when they can/SHOULD use generative AI *for work purposes*#rather than screaming and throwing articles at them about the environmental impact of LLM bullshit#and that's all large scale#that's not getting into the fact that there's a growing family chilliness over refusal to communicate about I/P shit#or the fact that my mom is dying slowly and hates it and is worsening her relationship with my siblings little by little#or the fact that I'm peeling away at my sanity trying to process a divorce and get healthcare for my cat and dental care for myself#or the fact that it takes hours of research to find DISH SOAP THAT DOESN’T KILL THE MICROBIOMES OF THE LOCAL WATER SUPPLY#(10/10 recommend 'blueland' for that if you're reading btw)#like i'm painfully aware of the back-patting level of efficacy that i have for buying different soap and going to the farmer's market#but there's only so much i can do so i have to try to do what i can right? but it's so little and everything is so much#and my mental health is a mess; the fact that my particular neurotype is known to get more volatile with age scares the shit oit of me#like it's this bad at 33 and it gets WORSE?#my job is great for personal privilege but so *so* meaningless and redundant#and how tf do i look at all of this and not feel fucking hopeless?#i can distract myself with my garden but the candide approach was myopic even in the 17th century so it's hard to justify now#I'm so tired#just... fuck man#tag rant#i should delete this but I'll forget if you read this far i hope it wasnt damaging to your mental health#i just had to let off the brain scream pressure somewhere
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aroaessidhe · 5 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
Masquerade
historical fiction set in 15th century West Africa
follows a young woman from Timbuktu, recently conquered by the the warrior king of Yorùbáland
her guild of blacksmiths were already shunned as witches, and their conditions worsen under Yorùbá rule - so when she’s kidnapped by the king to be his wife, she decides to accept that it’ll be a better life for her, as long as she can get her mother’s blessing
but as months go by without her mother being found, and political tensions rise, she must decide what she wants
#masquerade#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#ahh... I enjoyed this in the beginning but I ended up being SO frustrated by the MCs decisions and inconsistencies.#click the storygraph link above to read all my thoughts tbh im not gonna copy everything in here#she’s like man this guy kidnapped me and is drugging me and treats me like an object and probably is lying about trying to find my mother :#well I should definitely try and uncover and tell him about this uprising happening under his nose so I can help him trust me!#she tells us she’s desperate for freedom and safety and autonomy and yet she’s doing so much to stay with this man who#she’s AWARE is NOT giving her autonomy AND she doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else’s freedom or autonomy?#she doesn’t even WONDER about the slave revolts or blacksmith strikes other than how can she stop them?#she’s naive and innocent but she’s also viewed as this brilliant military strategist and cunning at court politics#other than these moments she’s very naive and doesn’t make any obvious connections about what the other women#or her mother are up to (which considering the amount of speeches about men underestimating women she makes……okay)#thing is like there was some great setup to go in some really interesting directions!#if you wanted to go down the route of her goals making her singlemindedly ruthless and selfish and morally grey and rising to power#then commit to that! make her investigate the revolution and give her a reason to betray them anyway.#if you want to make it like she TRULY had no choice in becoming what she did (because any attempt to escape or connect#with the revolution had tragic consequences) then do that! But she like…..never tried anything.#She just accepted everything and tried to help the king because…I don’t even know!#if you like hades and perspephone you won’t like this. if you don’t like hades and persephone you won’t like this.#(i thought it had just been inaccurately compared to H&P - not written to reference H&P)#agh. it could have been good!
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jrueships · 2 years ago
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diggs is unimpressed by the unusual josh allen show of toxic masculinity
#hes on his princess belle type shit#oh my God allen read the feminist fucking manifesto ugh#'the feminine urge to fucking man 🐶?'#no allen 😾.#joshs 'look at me 🐶! look at me!!! 🥰' kindergarten boy core of 'me do strong thing! me strong 😄!!' nudge#vs stefs FIST !!!#boy if you dont STOP!!#STOP FOOLIN AROUND WITH THE NEIGHBOR NEXT DOOR !! HE IS MCKENZIES MAN!!!!!!#diggs externally: 🙄... 😠😡 ALLEN.#diggs internally: God I Wish That Was Me.#allen: what 😄? i can pick you up too if youd like 😃! wont be a thing!#diggs: STFU. NO 😾. S O M E of us are trying to PRACTICE! for FOOTBALL! not WWE comma A L L E N 😡!#also diggs under breath: BOTH of us 😳? at the SAME TIME 😳?#... i bet he could bridal style no problem... i bet he could do those elaborate stunts in p*rnos and-#HE WOULDNT NEED NO WALL#WE'LL JUST KEEP IT AT THAT 🤭🤭#and then diggs realizes he is thinking this a little Too Loud and somehow since the thoughts are so loud someone somewhere#will be able to telepathically pick them up and listen in and embarrass him for his maniacal lustings#so he gets self conscious and turns away with a prissy little 'HMF 😤!'#probably lightly bats josh with an offhand swipe like a cat would to a featherstick#josh who could easily shatter his hand into more pieces: 😃 aw dang! *gives up* 🥺#verrrry inch resting how josh being captain america x shirtless thor levels of h*rny handsome manness is a diggs aggravator#but josh telling diggs hes thankful for him as par thanksgiving general niceties makes diggs wanna leap into his arms#and start mewling#i knew what diggs was from the Beginning (sl*t trope who is surprisingly won over by softness#i know youre a c*mboy. i know you are.#diggs/allen#allen always feeding his lumberjack fan dreams i love it. i am nourished THANK U#AND THANK U O CHERISHED MOOT OF MINE 4 THIS IMAGE I LOVE BEING GIVEN THEM!! IT'S ALWAYS SO NICE#there are no moots like my moots FIND your OWN 😡🤬!!!
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cupiare · 11 months ago
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i don’t really agonize over my gender identity like i used to but i’m not less frustrated with how everyone else feels entitled to an explanation and they demand you to put yourself into a category they understand and they can’t wrap their heads around any identity that is best described as something its not
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onepiexe · 2 years ago
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i havent done anything manual labor in so long
#logbook#woke up to my body aching like crazy#. .i miss this feeling. idk when i'll have time bc of work but man. i should exercise.#couldnt pull some plant carts right away in my first week 😭 also yesterday i couldnt lift a box.#i was too short to put it on the shelf is what i said but i was also tired at that point in the day. augh.#i loaded up 2 ladies cars. . .also moved and lifted pots.#plastic but big stacks and some bigger sizes.#today we have a fl+werw++d delivery. wonder what all it is. probably just more perennials.#i figured the ache would go away but i miss my old coworkers so much. . .#and then i remember how long it took for me to stop aching and missing ml while at nnl. . .so yeah. just on top of new work lol#ive had several emps say i look like a kid. which. thanks guys. sorry but when i was 15 i didnt look 25. .#i feel sorry to ppl who look at old when that young tbh. also it makes me go insane bc im p sure most of the younger emps#ARE in fact. younger than me. based on conversations. but nobody believes me 😭#tbf l+wes had a 18+ policy but this nursery is a gen family owned so they hire teens looking for work and work experience.#i dont personally see how anybody can think im -18 bc im working FULL not part time and i'm mon-fri but still.#regardless ive had a guy joke abt child labor laws bc i get in early. and some dude yesterday asked if i was doing hmwk. jesus christ guys.#ok i have to get ready for work 😭 gaia give me patience and reward me plsssssss
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.
#im not saying its cool for them to abandon you but cmon. you have to consider sometimes other people and what they can handle#bc if you keep manipulating your friends or whatever theyre gonna get used to being manipulated and expect it from other people#whatever the case. people have limits. your friends have limits. im not saying theyre always justified. im not saying your friends are#never abliest. but they do have limits. and if you're yelling at them all the time about being perfect or whatever you cant exactly#be surprised when they dip out.#like for example. im a p aggressive and angry guy. clearly. if youve seen any of my posts.#ive always got something to rant about. and while im not quite as much like this irl its still a thing about me. im very very vocal about#whatever injustice i percieve happening to me or others lol. but i can understand why me being intense and angry and ready to throw hands#at the drop of a hat would make some people want to avoid me. i understand it makes some ppl feel scared and unsafe.#its not something i try to do. i dont try to make ppl i like feel unsafe. i try not to be that way around ppl w those kinds of issues#but im not gonna throw a fit and be like 'you guys are okay with bpd until i get really really angry and call you a cunt'#like... uh... yeah. i dont blame ppl like that for dropping me entirely if im getting angry all the time around them and it triggers them#and i dont seem to stop or be able to stop.#sure its not great. sure i dont want to be as aggressive and angry around anyone let alone ppl afraid of that sorta thing. but this is#the current state of my being. its something im working on. and i can understand why some ppl cant handle me right now as i am.#idk. just. shit like that man#another example. im hella hella HELLA bad at communicating via technology. unless you're in front of my face my mind just forgets we were#even talking sometimes. this naturally will cause issues. how am i gonna get upset at someone for being mad i stoped responding#in the middle of a conversation? sure i didnt mean it. this is purely unintentional. however that doesnt change the fact of my actions.#it doesnt change the fact that that person might feel unwanted. i can apologize day and night but until i actually try to be more attentive#of my phone this is just gonna keep happening yknow. how is it fair to get mad at other ppl for getting mad at you over that?
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aliosne · 10 days ago
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Mum was talking to 4yo while we were decorating cookies, and she was like “I used to look after [zets] when they were a baby! Do you know why?”
4yo: bc hes a pretty neat guy?
Mum: …pretty much.
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jawnwicks · 9 months ago
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Some of the most important parts for me:
“Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.”
"Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction."
"Smalltalk is a social script of exchanging trivial conversation about non-personal topics in order to pass a brief period of time together.
This sort of conversation is about figuring out whether you want to get to know each other better, so it's kind of a behavioral test. It's assessing "can I have a pleasant, brief conversation with this person?" because people usually want to know if the answer to that question is "yes" before they share more details of their lives."
"If the person speaking responds to your sharing of personal information with a request for more information (asks about your sister) or by sharing some of their somewhat more personal information (roses are blooming) they might be interested in continuing to gradually share more information. If they respond with more smalltalk, they probably aren't interested in becoming closer friends ... [but] maybe at some point they'll share something with you and it'll be your turn to decide if you want to get to know them better."
"Once you've seen someone several times, you will begin to know little things about them. ... If you want to become friends with them, ask them about these things and offer information in return. Start casually and don't pry for more information, and be sure to share about yourself as well. Eventually you will get to the point that you can have a comfortable conversation on topics of shared interest for at least a few minutes."
"If they agree to meeting up for the thing, they are interested in continuing to develop the friendship. If they don't want to meet up then continue at the same level of interaction as before and perhaps later on down they line they'll ask you if you want to plan a meetup."
"Once you have hung out on purpose a few more times you've got two choices: set a regular meetup, or hang out elsewhere. Setting up a regular meetup is the relatively casual option here; it keeps things in the same location and keeps the context of the friendship the same while still increasing interactions and intensifying the relationship. You can have perfectly good, if somewhat casual friends, who you see regularly in one place and rarely outside of that place."
"Hanging out in a new place changes the context of the relationship; suggest a hangout in a place that makes sense for the mutual interests you've learned over the previous months of getting to know the person."
"If you’re talking about the weather as in the first example, but you mention where you grew up and what the weather was like, that can be inspiration for the other person to also talk about where they’re from! But, unlike with a question, if they don’t want to share that information they can usually dodge it without having to make it extremely obvious that that’s what they’re doing."
Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?
Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.
It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.
I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.
If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.
Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.
In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.
Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.
This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.
If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.
In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.
#this is legit the best advice i've ever seen for making friends#i can just SEE my problems in (particularly irl) friendship making now#combo of avoiding going beyond polite small talk my end out of Fear and Shame and not doing outside-of-context meetups bc Covid and Fear 2#i'm Very good at asking questions and inviting people to talk about themselves in a way that people clearly enjoy#but then it comes to them asking / me sharing and I shy away#which leads to me making a lot of “friends” who are quite self-centred and don't care to ask questions about me or stop dominating a convo#and other ND people who struggle with this stuff and actually enjoy/haven't been shamed out of infodumping#probably bc i (at least initially) feel more comfortable in those situations#but the ones who are naturally better at respecting my boundaries / are better at receptive conversation probably notice the shying away &#which is a P r o b l e m when either they're the self-centred kind or they're kind and just ND and i don't know how to change the balance -#- of the interactions once i'm more comfortable#<_>#i also struggle with not lying in the light conversation bc i know my truthful answers are not light and bubbly and easy#i don't mean 'how are you' 'not ok' i mean like 'what do you do for work' 'i work for my mother in her business' 'what's that like' 'awful'#😂#& i get all fight/flight when asked these questions that i immediately get flustered/scared and trip over my answers and EXTRA lie#how 2 balance between truth and scare off people - lie and make false friends#also the difference between direct cues and indirect cues is AMAZING to read about thank u so much#this whole post puts words and language to things I've felt and known without a language for them this whole time#guess i'm learning suddenly why people tend to find me very likeable but then I don't make actual friends lmao. and also why self-centred -#- people go NUCLEAR when I get fed up with being their perfect audience/moodboard & start putting boundaries in place. bc i've been sO gOod#this also rly helps explain to me why some ND people seem to go dead silent when I do an indirect cue rather than share Their thing about i#also the idea that this post is full of ableism is the most batshit thing known to man#THIS IS LITERALLY A GUIDE FOR DISABLED PEOPLE#resources
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sttoru · 1 month ago
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pls pls pls 🥹 older bf! gojo fucking the attitude out of his gf
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 𝝑𝑒 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. satoru picks you up after your lecture to spend quality time with you, only to realise you got an attitude that needs some fixing.
tags. dom older bf!gojo x female reader. smut, pwp but also with plot. age gap (reader early 20’s, satoru early 30’s). rough. hints of degradation. p in v -> unprotected. standing doggy. semi-public. spanking. hair pulling. name calling. creampīe. nicknames ‘princess, baby’. wc: 3.2k
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“mind telling me who that was, baby?” satoru asks while he fixes his sunglasses. he pushes his hair back a little, walking beside you through campus. you had just finished your study session with a boy who’s in your statistics class. your lovely boyfriend offered to pick you up and take you back home after that.
though, despite the kind gesture, you’re still visibly stressed after revising the material. your mind is occupied with all sorts of stuff you need to know before your exam on thursday.
“just a classmate,” you respond curtly, not even looking at satoru. you’re speeding ahead of him, wanting to rush home already. you nibble on your bottom lip and your brows are furrowed due to the distress, “why do you care?”
that sentence came out harsher than you had expected it to. you don’t mean to be bitchy, but you’re under too much stress at the moment. your body reacts before you can withstand it.
satoru is silent for a few seconds. he’s surprised by the tone of voice you used. he keeps on following you, however, not letting your little comment ruin the conversation. he’s there to help you, not to make you even more upset.
which is why he tries to lighten the mood.
“oh?” satoru chuckles, his dimples showing. he easily keeps up with you, his long legs carrying him around quite fast. the white haired man pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear ever so gently, “did someone upset my little princess today?”
you don’t answer him. you’re focused on your phone, hurriedly texting your friend back while speeding past all the other students. you don’t even notice how the girls are gawking at your man—whispering about how handsome he is and who he might be.
satoru doesn’t pay them any mind. his sole goal is to gain your attention back. he frowns after his question is met with silence. the clicking of his dress shoes increases as he tries to get you to stop and face him.
“c��mon,” your boyfriend sighs and stands in front of you, stopping you to an abrupt halt. he holds your wrist tenderly yet firmly, letting you know that he wants to properly communicate with you, “y’ can’t ignore me.”
you yank your hand back, your irritated attitude visible in your actions. you look up at satoru, not caring about what he thinks or wants at the moment. you just want to go home and relax. everything is overstimulating you.
“i can and i will,” you huff before stepping aside to continue your journey out of the university’s terrain. your boyfriend’s frown only deepens. you’re not the only one who’s currently getting agitated. you push past a group of students who stood in your way, “let’s just go home.”
satoru’s eyes narrow. he doesn’t get upset fast—he rarely feels any kind of anger—but right now he can feel something itching inside of his chest. he’s tried not to let the jealousy get the best of him at first, but now with all the other emotions coming into play, it’s nearly impossible to hold himself back.
satoru considers himself a fairly mature man. he’s always been one, yet when it comes to you he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t have any control over his emotions. his body and mind act on their own.
“aht aht. not so fast, little lady.”
you suddenly feel yourself being dragged to the side. satoru’s grip around your arm isn’t harsh, but it sure is enough to make you stumble along with him. you click your teeth in slight annoyance after the initial shock settles in. you know there’s no fighting it; you don’t want others to witness your little squabble.
“hey, where are we going?” you ask, a slight whine leaving your throat. you simply want to go lay in your bed and avoid everything and everyone else. your eyes are focused on the back of satoru’s head as he guides you along. he doesn’t bother to face nor answer you.
you sigh and simply allow yourself to be dragged away. if you’re going to get a scolding, you don’t mind. you’re just going to hear him out and nod along so you can go back home faster.
you raise an eyebrow when satoru arrives at the bathroom on the second floor. “what the—” you’re confused as to what your boyfriend is trying to achieve. you quickly look around to see if anyone has seen you.
no one seems to be close. this part of the building has always been empty around this time frame anyway.
you’re pulled into the men’s bathroom after satoru made sure that the coast was clear. he gently pushes you into an empty stall and locks the door. “satoru, what’s up with you?” you sigh as you stumble back against the bathroom wall. it’s a hypocritical comment considering your own nasty attitude.
you try to push him aside, only for your boyfriend to force your arms around his neck, pulling you flush against him. your eyes lock into his and that’s when you notice how . . dark they are. the usual playful look is nowhere to be found.
“i’m just thinkin’ that y’r attitude needs some fixing, hm?” satoru whispers. a ghost of a smirk appears on his face—it’s a twisted one. wicked, with the thoughts of what he’ll do to punish you for your actions. he rarely has that expression when he’s with you.
he tips your chin up with quite some force, “i can help with that.”
everything else happens at a blink of an eye. one of satoru’s large hands slithers up your back to tangle in your hair and yank it back, exposing the column of your throat for his hickeys to take shape on. his other hand swiftly makes work of your pants and undergarments.
his jaw is clenched—the usual hint of gentle love in his eyes is replaced by lust fuelled by jealousy and frustration. satoru is not playing around either. instead of taking his time like he usually does when it comes to intimacy, he’s quick to discard both your clothing.
“fuckin’ tease,” the white-haired man mutters under his breath, panting with desire. he zips down his pants and frees his big cock from his boxers. “always pushing my buttons. isn’t that right, baby?”
satoru lets out a breathy, mocking chuckle. he fists the shaft slowly while his blue eyes roam over your body caged against him and the wall, “but i guess tha’s part of the reason why i love you—hah.”
you’re basically in shock at the sudden switch. your jaw is slack and your eyes are wide, but there’s an undeniable feeling in your chest that tells you you’re loving this change. you can’t deny the fact that you’re turned on. extremely turned on.
“‘toru, i don’t think it’s smart to do this here,” you murmur in a small voice. you’re trying to have some dignity, even now, when your panties are soaked and the scent of your obvious arousal is driving your man crazy.
“don’t care,” satoru shakes his head with a smug grin. his long fingers hook around the waistband of your underwear before flimsily tugging them down to your ankles. his eyes darken the second he sees the webs of sticky, translucent slick clinging from your panties to your puffy folds.
he grunts, his cock twitching painfully in his hand. he’s thinking of simply jerking off to the sight of you in front of him, but he decided otherwise. satoru smacks your clit with his fat tip, “should’ve thought about that before catchin’ an attitude with me.”
suddenly, he turns you around so you’re facing the wall. your nails dig into the flat surface of the tiles, catching onto nothing. you’re hoping that no one will walk into the bathroom. last thing you need is everyone knowing that you were getting your back blown out by your boyfriend on campus.
not that satoru would mind those rumors. it’d only fuel his (already) huge ego.
“oh, yeah— shit. you need this ‘s much as i do,” satoru groans as sinks his cock into your pussy, agonisingly slow, inch by inch. you shudder and hold in your moans as your velvety walls make part for him.
his hands spread your pert asscheeks, smacking the full globes before kneading them to soothe the pain. he continues in a low, dangerous voice, “you wouldn’t be so stuck up if y’ didn’t need this fuckin’ dick to shut you up.”
satoru doesn’t stop pushing in until his heavy balls are resting snugly against your bottom, warming his sack full of cum that’s aching to be released in your dripping cunt.
“ngh, ‘toru,” you bite your lip and try not to orgasm just from the feeling of being full— so full of cock that it makes you see stars, “just like that.”
the white-haired man responds with a satisfied grunt, sweat forming on his forehead from how hot and wet it is inside of you.
“oh, there she is,” satoru coos once he hears your whiny voice, that sweet voice he cherishes and loves. it isn’t cold nor avoidant anymore like before and that’s really all he wanted to acquire. he licks a stripe from the tip of your ear to the lobe, voice husky, “there’s the girlfriend i know. moan some more f’ me.”
you shiver as satoru’s lips connect with the back of your neck. after wetting the skin with his saliva, he bites. not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a mark. you clamp around his dick in response and he curses under his breath.
“please, fuck me,” you breathe. you need more stimulation, need him to absolutely ruin you. the shallow and slow thrusts he’s giving are nothing but torturous.
satoru grins and rests his chin on top of your shoulder, large hands rubbing around your hips and lower abdomen, teasing your clit every now and then to get you even more pent up.
“fuck you?” he tilts his head, as if contemplating. he clicks his tongue and gives your ass a firm slap that nearly sends you over the edge. “hah, you should be grateful for what i’m givin’ you.”
but satoru’s weak for you. even if he’s trying to be the ‘mean’ and ‘cold’ dominant guy. his cock is aching to plunge in and out of your wet hole, to see you come undone and feel your juices coat his balls and thighs.
“fine. i’ll fuck you,” satoru relents with a roll of his eyes, acting like he isn’t desperate for you too. he grips your hips in a bruising manner and bites your shoulder, “—fuck you like the brat you are.”
your hands save your face from making contact with the wall as your body suddenly jostles back and forth in a speed you can’t even process.
“satoru!” you nearly scream his name out of pure surprise. the pleasure comes crashing down in waves, your pussy uncontrollably spasming around his girthy cock.
satoru grumbles something incoherent as he pistons his hips, ramming in your sloppy cunt while his eyes are fixated on your bouncing ass. white locks of hair stick to his forehead as he splits you open on his dick.
“so pretty,” the older man sighs. he turns your head sideways so you can look him in the eyes while he fucks you silly. he caresses your cheek gently, a contrast to the mocking grin on his lips and the rough thrusts against your ass, “too bad y’ got such a potty mouth on you.”
satoru pushes his index and middle finger between your lips to muffle your noises, “…but don’t worry, i’ll fix that for you. gladly.”
you eagerly suck on them between quick gasps of air, saliva trickling down his hand. your boyfriend redoubles his efforts, the fat tip of his dick hitting that special spot deep inside you.
his free hand reaches down to circle your clit. the double stimulation sends you into a state of pure bliss. your pupils are dilated as you struggle to find satoru’s gaze, head lolling back and forth with each powerful stroke.
perhaps this really was all you needed to help destress and forget all about your responsibilities. it feels good to not think about anything at all— your head empty except for the feeling of your cunt being filled.
satoru’s cock twitches inside of you with the urge to release a load in your womb. “give me it, please,” your voice is muffled as you plead with him. your hand sneaks downwards, trying to find his balls, “w-want your cum.”
your fingers toy with his sack once you find it. his pre-cum and your own juices now coat your skin as well, your hand enclosing around his balls, massaging them. it’s like you’re trying to coax his potent semen out of them and that alone makes satoru throw his head back in ecstasy.
“little cumslut. . .” satoru growls, brows furrowing as he tries not to shoot his cum inside of your greedy cunt right that second. the hand that was keeping you quiet quickly snatches your wrist and pins it against the bathroom wall.
“are you that desperate to get filled? yeah?” your boyfriend huffs, not stopping to catch his breath at all. his hips pound faster against your ass with renewed passion.
your lips are parted and they move, but not a single answer comes out of your mouth. you’re unable to think or talk because of the pleasure.
satoru takes that as a yes. the erotic sight of you being so lost in sin is enough to fuel his desire to fuck you harder. his hips never falter as he scoffs at your pathetic self, “tch, so addicted to my cock y’ can’t even answer me.”
you shake your head and search for your words. however, you fail, and all that you’re capable of communicating is what you need, “fuuuuck, yes i am—‘toru, need your cock ‘n cum— more.”
satoru lets go of your wrist to grab your jaw. he forces your head back again before he captures your lips in a bruising kiss. his tongue plunders inside your mouth, exploring every inch.
he pulls back to gasp for air and releases your jaw with a slight shove to grab your hips again. “more? hah,” the white-haired man lets out a haughty chuckle. he gives a particular hard thrust against your butt, tip kissing your cervix painfully yet deliciously, “y’ think you deserve more after that shit you pulled?”
satoru yanks your head back by your hair. the stinging sensation makes your scalp itchy, but it also increases your pleasure. he lowers his lips to your ear, his voice dangerously low, “nah, you gotta make this work.”
you could. you can make it work and that’s the truth. he could fuck you with just his tip and you’d be able to cum a couple times in a row.
jolts of pleasure run down your spine as satoru drives into you harder, the force of his thrusts rocking your entire body. you’re seeing stars and the words roll off your tongue, “please, mhh, almost there!”
satoru groans. he can feel the delicious fluttering of your cunt around his cock, the telltale signs of an orgasm building. he has half a mind to pull out completely and let you writhe and beg him some more.
he contemplates it for a few seconds. the second your eyes start to roll back, signaling your impending climax, his cock slips out of your pussy. you whine and push your hips back in search for his dick- to fill the void he left.
satoru jerks himself off at the pitiful sight. he rubs his veiny shaft between your slick folds before slapping the tip against your cunt, letting it catch onto your entrance for a few times.
“begging like that isn’t going to get you anywhere. y’ can do better,” your boyfriend encourages in a sultry tone. one of his hands rest on your tummy, fingers splaying over your clothed skin. another filthy smack of his tip against your slit makes you shiver, “come on.”
you bite your lip out of frustration. you arch your back each time the fat head of his cock catches onto your gaping hole, hoping to slip it in, but you can't. you tilt your head back and lock eyes with satoru close up behind you.
“please let me cum, 'toru. i'll be good, i promise,” you beg with a lewd pleading expression. one that make satoru's balls tighten with the urge to cum as well.
with a low groan, satoru snaps his hips forward, burying his dick inside of you once more, “there ya go. good girl, knew y’ had it in you.”
the praise and familiar feeling of his dick stretching you open is enough to push you over the edge. you nearly black out as your cunt spasms around him, your juices gushing out to coat his length and balls.
satoru grits his teeth once he feels your tight cunt clench viciously around his throbbing cock. your orgasm has a domino effect on your lover, causing him to hastily chase his own release. “shit! take it, princess. take it all inside this greedy fuckin' cunt,” he hisses and grinds his pelvis against the fat of your ass.
satoru buries himself to the hilt before his cock jerks and pulses, emptying his balls deep inside of you. his fingers dig into the meat of your butt, holding you in place as he grinds against you, making sure every last drop of his seed is nestled into your waiting womb.
“there y’ go, mhm—taking my load so deep,” your lover sighs and lowers his head, resting against your back. he hugs you tightly to his chest while you both catch your breath. he rides out his orgasm slowly, still grinding against you while he leaves lazy kisses on your nape.
a minute passes before you've regained your composure, somewhat. you smile as satoru kisses your temple lovingly, praising you for taking him so well. the switch back to his usual gentleman personality is much needed after such an intense moment.
“thank you, babe. i needed that,” you giggle as you rest back against his chest. thick, pearly globs of cum escape your pussy, dripping around his cock and onto your thighs, but neither of you could care less. the clean up is a problem for later.
satoru chuckles back at you as he leaves another loving kiss against your cheek. “i knew you did,” he murmurs and pets your head, “my poor girl has been working so hard on her assignments, hm? poor, poor baby.”
you playfully roll your eyes at the overexaggerated concern in your lover's voice, however you appreciate it.
satoru doesn't bother to pull out. first things first; he needs to get you all comfortable again and give you the aftercare you deserve. his hands massage your hips as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, acting all lovey-dovey like he hasn't just shown you a more dominant side of him.
“how ‘bout we go home and order some food? we can cuddle and watch a movie together, ‘kay? i’ll take care of you, princess.”
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daz4i · 1 year ago
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when ww said "this is not my life, I'm no survivor, i only happened to survive"
#he gets it he really does.#hate when ppl call me resilient or are proud of me for surviving shit. girl i did not do anything to be here now. in fact quite the contrary#i am permanently in survival mode and I'm trying so hard to turn it off. but mostly in 1 direction and not the one most ppl hope#sigh. I'm tired man 😐 i just started new mood stabilizers and I'm anxious as fuck#(well. not new. i was on them before when i was a teen. can't remember why i stopped tho)#the whole trying new pills is depressing bc well. there's p much nothing left for me to try#i had a call with her this week. i mentioned it i think. but most of it was trying to figure out if there's meds i never tried out there#the only other one we considered to maybe replace my current antidepressant is very new to the market aka she doesn't know what it does yet#so. instead of replacing. adding stabilizers and hope they don't make things even worse (but lbr they probably will)#I'm very close to giving up yet again. idk what there even is to give up on anymore. my life is nothing with a side of void#but giving up is the only thing i know how to do. I'm too anxious to do anything else. i don't know how to do anything else#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh really wanna cut rn but i already have some wounds on my hands and arms + I'm in enough pain as is so what's the use#vent#i should sleep. idk if i can. I've been trying all day and failed. I'm so tired#i wish i didn't wake up man 😐 i wish i died. tonight#suicide //#not really but implied ig#self harm mention //#ask to tag
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