#i am the son that looks like a girl but thats in terms other people can understand. and cause its funny to be just a guy
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cupiare · 1 year ago
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i don’t really agonize over my gender identity like i used to but i’m not less frustrated with how everyone else feels entitled to an explanation and they demand you to put yourself into a category they understand and they can’t wrap their heads around any identity that is best described as something its not
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pomegranatesarchive · 6 months ago
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cute funny looking child | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x actress!reader
summary; the one where yn becomes obsessed with a cute funny looking child she stumbled across on pinterest. only to find out that the “cute funny looking child” is now a full grown formula one driver.
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liked by charles_leclerc, and 715,529 others!
yourusername: i found this cute funny looking child on pinterest, then started crying because he’s just so cute
view comments below!
user1: girl what
user2: there’s medical terms for people like you
user3: no i get it
user4: he's actually so cute
user5: these pictures look old...what if this child is grown now??
user6: imagine scrolling through instagram and you see someone calling you a "cute funny looking child"
user7: this is too funny
user8: am i the only one who knows thats max??
user9: NO I DO TOO!!!
user10: us and charles LMAO
user11: he liked this and said nothing 😭
user12: not his childhood photos, not his problem
user13: how are yn and charles friends but she doesnt know what max looked like as a child?
user14: she knows nothing about f1, she's only friends with charles and thats it 😭
user15: what medical condition do you have?
user16: but…why?
user17: you have issues
user18: i don’t think this reaction is normal…
user19: babe that’s max verstappen??? formula 1 driver??? rich GROWN millionaire???
user20: millionaire you say 😏
user23: i see you didnt take your meds today
yourusername: i’ll have you know that my medication ran out so HA
user24: you might wanna ask for more
user25: yeah because this? not normal!
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 716,019 others!
maxverstappen1: recharging, done ✅
view comments below!
charles_lelcerc: what a cute funny looking child
maxverstappen1: ?
charles_leclerc: nothing…
user21: HE KNOWS
user22: it’s even funnier that charles 100% knows about the ‘cute funny looking child’ thing and just chose to not tell yn it’s max 😭
user23: yn will never live this down
user24: this is going to haunt yn for literally ever
user25: i PERSONALLY will never let her forget
user26: such a cute funny looking child
user27: max has got to be so confused rn
user28: is that a cute funny looking child i see???
user29: cute funny looking child max!!!!
user30: why is no one talking about how good max looks??
user31: i am. HE LOOKS GORGEOUS
danielricciadro: 😍😍
user32: you are handfeeding the shippers
user33: please, he IS the shipper
user34: cute funny looking child
user35: I AM SO CONFUSED BY THESE COMMENTS? WHAT IS GOING ON
user36: so basscialy
user37: what happened was
user38: many years ago
user39: it was a dark and gloomy night
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. . .
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 619,916 others!
yourusername: this f1 thing is fun!
view comments below!
user40: you lucky son of a bitch!
charles_leclerc: can’t believe you went to a race for HIM 🤮 but not me…
yourusername: i didn’t go for HIM! i went because was invited!!!!
charles_leclerc: IVE INVITED YOU SO MANY TIMES AND YOU ALWAYS SAY NO
yourusername: LEAVE ME ALONE
user41: is ‘him’ MAX???
user42: it has to be
user43: YN AND MAX SHIPPERS ARE LIVING
maxverstappen1: you said you would post more baby pictures of me 😕
yourusername: you’re right in front of me? talk to me?
maxverstappen1: i want everyone to know that we’re on a date!
yourusername: we are?
user46: HUH
maxverstappen1: yes? i asked you on a date and you said yes?
user44: GIYS????
yourusername: i thought this was a friend thing…
user45: HWAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
maxvertappen1: do all your friends buy you flowers when going out to eat?
user46: YOURE RIGHT IN FEONT OF RACHOTHRT??? STOP THIS?
yourusername: no…
maxverstappen1: exactly! now do you want dessert?
user47: i can’t…i’m sick to my stomach…i cannot
user48: what just happened
user49: i wish i knew
user50: okay so that just happened! now what?
. . .
here’s this before i disappear for a couple of weeks (maybe months?) i apologize but schools been keeping me busy AND i have books on wattpad that take up most of my time! im hopeful ill be able to post maybe once a month? nonetheless i hope you enjoyed this :)
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asclexe · 10 months ago
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⭐️ government-forced blog intro post ⭐️
(new and improved!)
welcome to marvin’s marvelous mechanical museum!
🌟⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟
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^ me if you even care..
art above by the one and only @pingunaa
remember 2 to do ur daily clicks for palestine
free everyone!! help some people in need!!!
fun websites masterlist
suicide hotlines
this could save your life!
kys /j <3 (KEEP YOURSELF SAFE /srs.)
hai!! hello!! hey!! what’s up!! basic info/fun stuff below the cut (very long intro soo sorry)
*flash/blink warning for the blinkies
name: asclexe formally? cameron causally, but call me whatever! no, seriously! idc! nicknames (ex: cam, ronnie, cammy, etc) are welcome! feel free to call me your pookie or your son or child or something, be creative!
⭐️gender and pronouns: i am uhhh. nonbinary i think. they/them preferred, but it/its or he/him are also fine!! i prefer gender neutral terms, but i also am more masc leaning. like im a man. but also just a person.
⭐️not specifying my age but im a minor. B cool!! internet safety!!
⭐️sexuality: aromantic asexual aplatonic lesbian dumbfuck
⭐️nationality/country: american fuck my stupid baka life (EST timezone)
⭐️ i am also white :/
⭐️star sign: leo :3
⭐️personality type: intj (also houses mtbi if u care)
⭐️religious alignment: atheist cause im god /j 💪💪
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bigots and pedos/zoos are lame and not welcome. i bite scammers. exclusively nsfw/kink blogs not welcome. im a kid. ed blogs please do not follow me because im uncomfortable with that. also don’t expect a follow back if youre over 24 cus thats weirdd
also if ur a diehard stan of anything pls think :3
dni if you’re from earth or human. aliens only blog. /j
and everyone else is welcome :3
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⭐️fandoms im most active in:
house md
doctor who (only on season 2!!)
good omens
warrior cats (on arc 5 but i don’t plan on reading them)
dungeon meshi
movies in general
+ any other fandoms i consume in the future!!
⭐️fandoms i rarely post abt but still enjoy
tbosas/the hunger games
dead poets society
six feet under
a series of unfortunate events
fnaf
she-ra/the owl house/steven universe/gravity falls/etc
bluey
barbie/monster high
doogie howser md
scott pilgrim
the amazing digital circus
the middle
stardew valley
the spiderverse
abbott elementary
aggretsuko
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i will post abt my sims occasionally :3 most posts are text posts bc im untalented
*i’m looking to get into evangelion, supernatural, hannibal, saw, and dexter 👍
i write fanfiction and poetry (i take requests feel free to hmu), i do local theater, i make pride icons (also requests hmu) i drabble in the occasional doodle, and i like baking and watching youtube and scrolling through tumblr and walking through the forest and my neighborhood and making bracelets and spending money and laying on the floor and singing and dancing and being silly and reading medical textbooks and cool novels and hanging with my irls and idk, yeah! life! carpe diem!
*also i’m trying to get into reality shifting! (im not a freak i swear)
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⭐️my fav music artists (a little all over the place:3) jack stauber, will wood, lemon demon, tally hall/miracle musical, dazey and the scouts, mommy long legs, the oozes, bear ghost, mitski, chappell roan, weezer, the smashing pumpkins, my chemical romance, laufey, liana flores, faye webster, MARINA, pearl & the oysters, queen, no doubt, slipknot, korn, mindless self indulgence, hole, some olivia rodrigo, charli xcx, some vocaloids,
i love pretty much all kinds of jazz, rock, and showtunes (except ballads. i dislike ballads)
my music taste can be described as like. neurodivergent weird kid alt rock and hot girl summer pop.
(music recs are very much welcome <33)
*taylor swift enjoyers follow at your own risk (i hate on her occasionally. i really dislike her music and she’s also not that great of a person)
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random facts about me :3
⭐️i’m left-handed (bully me for it ik im a freak)
⭐️unfortunately a theater kid :/
⭐️tall for this website
⭐️the most insufferable and annoying person ever
⭐️DOESNT BITE!! (i swear)
⭐️ i’m genetically pitch perfect but i’m awful with rhythm
⭐️favorite planet is ur mom (i ❤️ venus)
⭐️honors roll baby 🔥🔥
⭐️im most likely neurodiverse?? undiagnosed but speculated
⭐️perpetually alone only child 😔 please talk to me i love chatting with people, asks and replies preferred, dms okay <33
⭐️favorite color green. all of the shades.
⭐️i haven’t cried properly in like a year and i am not breaking my mewing streak
⭐️minorly touch/attention starved :3
⭐️single & ready to mingle!! (please don’t fucking talk to me like that im aroace and a minor )
⭐️REBLOGGING MACHINE 💪💪
⭐️i’ve never seen an episode of spongebob but saw the musical
⭐️#1 BEST XBOX SIMMER 🔥🔥
⭐️im nicer than i seem (i’m also a very negative person in general but i keep my thoughts to myself!)
⭐️i have a massive sweet tooth :3
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⭐️(new) tags guide!⭐️
*note this is a new system i’m trying out, some older posts do not apply
#asclexeposting - all original content
#camyyaps - unhinged text posts/late night eepy time posts/yapping in the tags
#cam touches grass - the rare times i go outside and touch grass and do stuff
#ask the fellows - relating to my ask blog (go follow it go do it its @ask-the-ducklings go ask stuff)
#me ask :3 - reblog of something i asked another blog
#mootie :3 - if we’re mutuals and you send me an ask i tag it with this :3
*you also get your own individual tag for asks, for example @pingunaa is ping :3 and @rubeslovesthesmiths is rubes :3, etc
#cammy’s 4 later tag :3 - stuff for later!!
#cam plays the sims :3 - my simming tag
old man doctor yaoi prompt list :3
my house md oc :3
⭐️side blogs!⭐️
@ask-the-ducklings - ask/roleplay blog 4 the house md duckligns
1/2 of @meanwhile-on-the-road, the other half is pookie @sillyhyperfixator
@house-md-referrer - house md references
@theindierockcafe - writing blog
this will be mostly reblogs of my silly mutuals/my fyp, i try to make original content often! I ❤️ REBLOGGING ART YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO!!!! hope we can get along! ask me whatever! i don’t know! be nice and respectful cause i’m a minor!
SPAM MY ASK BOX :3 create lore, send me images, ask for comfort, WHATEVER!!!! im friendly and ill answer your ask eventually.
disclaimer; i live in the us and a snowflake so im occasionally political, nothing too extreme im just scared 👍 i also don’t spoiler tag!! sorry!
if you want me to share your fundraiser; give me some time to verify you!!!! i promise im not ignoring you!!
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blinkies made in the blinkie cafe :3
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meatfag · 10 days ago
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A review of White Wolfs official VTM Erotic Novel "Eternal Hearts"
Authors Note: I took a few hits of a bong and had a little bit of a drink while writing this.
Trigger Warning List - Porn of course, blood/gross gore, child csa, LOTS of rape, incest, necrophilia , generally immoral shit, bad het white woman writing, nosferatu disrespect,  homophobia maybe?? I interpret this whole book as a hate crime. 
I write in detail. Maybe. I'm writing this in a rage
Eternal Hearts, a 1999 White Wolf published erotic novel written by Lucy Taylor, about Vampires in the world of darkness, is an interesting book. I for one was certainly taken aback when I found out on tumblr dot com that White Wolf officially published a horny vampire book. They address in the introduction that Yeah, vampires CANT fuck, but that doesnt mean they DONT. Some more profound bullshit about how this book is about exploring vampirism sexually. And all nerds should SHUT UP AND JERK OFF!!! (I think).This book is 162 pages long and a weird fucking trip of timeskips and jumping back and forth. This review is from the perspective of a real freak who is not the demographic so my review has bias as a freaky fag. I also feel the need to say I don't hate morally wrong media! I just think that this book sucks because it sucks A fun fact about this book is that every vampire you meet is an already existing vtm character that you can look up right now on the white wolf wiki. The default Ventrue, Toreador and Lasombra you see in the books are in this book, having crazy freaky sex!! I doubt this book is canon but its fucked up to think about how the default ventrue is into fucking raped girls in a shitty late 90s erotica book. This review will contain spoilers if youre really that heartbroken you didnt read the best book white wolf has ever published. 
This book is fucking STUPID. Thanks for exploration of the sexual nature of vampirism, I didnt know that exploration would just be attractive white people doing drugs, being bad people and being really into non con. I am truly amazed. The story is from many characters perspectives, the characters being-  (canon characters not described, look em up on tha wiki)
Sascha Vykos
Victoria Ash
Lucita
Jan Pieterzoon
Emmet, Sexy old man Priest and a member of the Society of Leopold
Becca, Emmet's lesbian daughter with a fiance 
David, Emmet's shitty god fucking awful son and brother to Becca
Jean Locklear, the only fucking DIVA IN THIS BOOK, MY SHOVELHEAD QUEEN. 
Erasmus, Nosferatu guy who exists to be ugly and weird 
I no joke copy pasted and edited that shit from the white wolf wiki im so fucking tired. Fuck this book. There is ONE good character, and that is my shovelhead princess Jean Locklear. THE ONLY ONE story that DARES to go bold and involves freaky fleshcrafting sex and then they bury her for about the whole book. SHE gets it. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A FLOP. Love herrr. Shes a whole lot cringe in her inbetween chapters of her being edgy and suicidal but I liked her more than every other character here.
The characters kind of suck. Overly edgy at times, overly serious for this stupid book. Much like base WOD, it takes itself too seriously which is stupid because vampires are stupid and sex is stupid. Every character is an overly gorgeous pale skinny beauty with massive tits and a well huge cock, sometimes both ! But thats about as far as this book is willing to go in terms of sex other than heterosexual, David gets gay for about 2 lines in separate chapters before it fades to black, but I guess thats clearly worse than the description of how he wanted to (and did) rape his 14 year old sister. Becca, a lesbian with a fiance, has her fiance almost immediately offed quite brutally and then gets weirdly turned on by a guy and the author is WEIRD about it. She ends the story having insane amounts of sex with him, described equally as weird. The hot old man priest, Emmet, doesn’t even have sex, and gets slightly horny at a boob, and dies. I almost wept. The stuck up priest doesnt even get fucked by a hot (male) vampire? Fucking pointless. 
This book does horny gore stuff. And I guess Im a gore gooner too, and theres some weird horny ghoul blood business, but the gore in this is just.. Hm… not even hot. David fucks the headless dead body of his sisters fiance and its just weirdly prolonged and not even good necro porn. Im not even a necro guy I just know when somethings poorly written. The nosferatu randomly breaks into a mental hospital, harasses and assults a mentally ill woman and snaps her neck mid way. I feel like this whole scene exists to justify art of a nosferatu jerking off a beautiful large breasted lady, very bored. Speaking of the art, art from John Bolton, an artist for VTM already, good art, bored of the subject. Cool, bloody ladies with boobies out! Youll always find a boob and a cunt in the art, maybe a penis if youre lucky! But you’re rarely lucky in this world. Im not fussed at the end of the day. Arts art. 
This book has a weird rape kink that isnt even sexy. The sex is so bland that it isnt even horny, just bland and weird. Jan Pierterzoon or whatevr his name is, is into sex with girls who have been raped, for some reason. David, the worst fucking character in the book, is a huge offender of the weird rape kink. He is a drug abuser, who raped his sister multiple times during her childhood, who is immensely beautiful, is such a bad fucking character. Multiple chapters take place in his pov. The pov of this fucking scumbag isnt even fun to read, its just annoying. He is introduced mid sex with his social worker or whatever, continuously ranting about how much he hates fucking fat girls. Its just fucking offputting, im not horny and im having no fun. You may disagree, but EROTICA is for the purpose of getting you horned up. To get you to crank it. Erotica is a generally unserious corny genre. I am NOT fucking cranking it to bland sex, a bad messy plot that is clearly trying to be profound, and fucking DAVID EXISTING. I get being into problematic assholes, problematic themes and such. Hell I am !! But this is just edgy for the sake of being edgy. No true passion for the craft. Edgy and trying to take itself seriously. 
Please do not read this book, at least David gets embraced by a nosferatu and fucking kills himself by running into the sun after realising what he has become. Read the last chapter if you want that satisfaction. So much more actually happens in this book that Im not doing a full elaboration on, such as the human pelvis sex swing. The “Asian blood is sweeter than other races” moment, a senator in DC fucking setting herself on fire and throwing herself at other vampires to kill them, a bujah with a key on his cockring, Becca getting turned on by a borderline corpse of a man because he has a boner, and many many more fun things. Please save yourself now and DO NOT read this fucking book. I must insist again, I am NOT against problematic media. I am against bad porn for the sake of society's future. 
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kirain · 4 years ago
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Hello! I just followed you for the games but also looked through your blog and see you're a movie buff? I have autism and was just wondering if you know any movie with a autistic character thats done respectfully and doesn't make us look stupid or use stereotypes?
Hi, anon! Thanks for the follow, and yes, I actually do!
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There's a really great indie film called Snow Cake, starring Sigourney Weaver and the late Alan Rickman. I saw it when I was in high school, and it's a shame because not very many people know it exists. It won a few awards, but only released in Canada and the UK to a limited audience. It only pulled in about $1.3 million, but from what I understand, a lot of the proceeds went to autism research and education. Sigourney also prepared for the role by learning about autism and getting coached by Ros Blackburn, a woman with autism who is an author and speaker about autism and Asperger's syndrome.
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While I myself do not have autism and am by no means an expert on the subject, my cousin is both deaf and autistic and he loves this movie. The plot is as follows:
Alex Hughes (Alan Rickman), an older, reclusive Englishman visiting Canada for an unspecified reason, gets roped into picking up a hitchhiker; an eccentric teenager whom he slowly and unexpectedly comes to enjoy the company of. Sadly, while making their way to their destination, they get hit by a drunk driver. The young girl dies immediately while Alex crawls away with a nosebleed and a harmless bump on the head. Plagued with survivor's guilt, Alex makes his way to the girl's house to offer his condolences to her mother, only to learn that she (Sigourney Weaver) has ASD.
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Sigourney's portrayal of a person living with what I believe is level two autism is probably one of the most respectful and realistic I've seen in media to date. I find that most movies and TV shows go from one extreme to the other, with the autistic character being a high-functioning, gifted, eidetic-endowed, autodidactic superhuman genius or a screaming, reckless, helpless, frightened, completely dependant child that constantly needs saving and merely serves as a plot device.
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Sigourney's character, Linda, avoids both overused tropes. She's an adult, she's mature, she works a typical day job, and she's mostly independent, only needing help every now and then with menial tasks that make her uncomfortable. She's not an infallible genius, but she is smart and witty, as well as very much aware of what's going on around her; she just doesn't react or express her emotions in a way a neurotypical person likely would. This is especially hard for Alex to come to terms with, as Linda is very verbal, lacks any filter, relies on strict routines and compulsions to get through her day, and appears to be unaffected by her daughter's death.
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However, as the story progresses, Alex comes to understand Linda and interprets how she feels via her mannerisms. This allows him to connect with her in ways he never thought possible, having spent most of his life avoiding others himself. Like many people with autism, Linda struggles with social settings, doesn't like being touched, and finds joy in simplicity, but she too develops a beautiful relationship with Alex, opening up and accepting him into her life.
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There's honestly so much to this film (I barely scratched the surface) and I don't want to spoil what happens, so I'll just highly recommend you give it a watch. It's rife with comedy (though never at Linda's expense), drama, heart, and soul. It was also written by Angela Pell, mother of an autistic son. Her goal, it seems, was to show that autism is not a curse, that people with autism are people, not plot devices, and that a little education on the subject goes a long way. I'd argue she succeeded.
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aahsokaatano · 4 years ago
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King I would love that essay about Changing Channels
Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.
Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT
The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.
Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.
[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]
Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 
In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)
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This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station
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And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital
Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one
Okay, now look at this picture
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Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5
Which is also why i love this shift so much
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These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.
Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.
In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 
“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”
Or even - 
“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”
Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.
In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.
So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)
“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”
Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.
Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show
I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession
“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!
Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 
Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me
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Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.
Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.
I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.
Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.
I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.
But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.
Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.
Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.
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sukirichi · 4 years ago
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hiii, it's 💎anon!! don't know if you remember me, it's been A WHILE. i had to study for my final exams and sign up at different universities etc., but now i finally had the time to catch up and OML.
first of all, all the new little naoya one-shots, ESPECIALLY the fluffy dilf ones,, i'm ascending to heaven. I LOVE THEM SM. of course naoyas son would be as bratty as his him, but seeing naoya really respect and appreciate his wife, PLEASEEBKS and then your reckless series; loved it!! it's unfortunate that people just did not respect you and your work and just be grateful that you deliver this content for FREE, giving away time of your own-free time while probably being busy with irl things. but thank you for giving us the plot outline for the rest of the series!! though you didn't even have to!! (maybe i'm even relieved lmao i don't know if i could have handled all the coming angst omg i'm once again amazed by your master big juicy brain energy HAHAHA,, and you come up with so many great fic ideas so fast?? i really wanna write too but i can't seem to be focused for too long idkk you're simply amazing!)
AND THEN; tokyo revengers.
i just recently started reading the manga as well (currently ch.42) and seeing that you read it as well made me so happy. ALSO GIRL HANMA SHUJI YES. i hate him but i love him. the moment i heard his voice i knew i'd be down bad, and he's so powerful too?? god please stay by my side and lend me strength during these difficult times. yk i'm for feminism all the way, men ain't shit! but for hanma i would do all the house chores, i would cook for my king, clean for my king.
imagine a feared and powerful hanma, but for you he's a fluffy mess, spoiling you rotten, trying to protect you from the bad influences around him. you're his sweet little angel he would give the world for. maybe he would also corrupt you unintentionally and when you pull a 180 he would be so surprised but so turned on, because it was his doing, HIM who turned the halo above your head to little horns, oh god imagineee. i also just KNOW hanma would be the type to pull you into the corner of a party, light a blunt and share shotgun kisses with you (or in general, i KNOW this man loves them. like, you never tried marijuana or any type of drugs, but you want to after seeing hanma smoke some before with his friends and so he would sit you on his lap and then do shot gun kisses with you, slow and passionate AHAHAJKSH. also prayers to those who try to lay a hand on you (and me who's babbling all this shit about hanma 🤢🤢 i just know this aks reeks of pick me girl energy lmfao.) but also imagine it the other way around. you are already in this line of work, a badass bitch and you have hanma being all submissive to you. THE hanma shuji, leader of valhalla, notorious delinquent, hanma shuji being wrapped around your little finger. he's so down bad for you.
PLEASE, i just looove them all. and OMG YOUR DRAKEN FICS. i just simply liked him before BUT AFTER THOSE TWO STORIES. i'm about to become a whole draken simp lmao.
dream was so well-written. you described draken as a soft and calm lover so well. i already love those 'jealousy' and angsty type of stories, and you writing one as well?? AHHHSJS i can only say it again and again, i'm absolutely in love with your writings. you have so much talent and it's so much fun reading them. the way you express things and word them is just indescribable.
i hope you have a great day/ night and thank you once again for writing all these masterpieces,, you are amazing!! 💗💗 - 💎 anon
diamond anon yes i remember you, you’re like one of my earliest anons and if i’m not mistaken you sent me an ask before about fall from grace and thats how it came to be ??? and aah i hope you can rest well and enjoy your break now, you deserve it !! AND THE LITTLE NAOYA DRABBLES IM ABDKEKWKW i just think that daddy naoya and baby naori is the cutest ever like,,,i wanna live in my own tfc drabbles, thats my home right there. and as for reckless, i suppose it was pretty dramatic and wild in terms of plot 😫 aaah actually i struggle from having too many ideas bcos im like UGH WHAT DO I WRITE NEXT THERES SM I WANNA WRITE but not enough time like spspsps.
AND HELL YEA LETS TALK ABOUT TOKREV
babe PLSS HANMA SHUJI SIR HMU IM AVAILABLE AND IM FREE JUST FOR YOU 🤤 hes so fine and so evil and so wack that he just ??? stole my heart ??? AND HIS TIMESKIP I CANNOT QJEKWKWO. yesss omg hes so powerful like he stopped mikey’s kick and stoof his ground that the whole time i was like YEA LETS GET ITTT like dont get me wrong, toman all the way but hello ??? If the antag looks that fine, you bet im cheering as well !! and hngrrr all this hanma brainrot, i actually have an arranged marriaged hanma fic with a really innocent reader just bcos the corruption kink is real. i mean look at him. he has bad intentions and i’d let him tbh, but the idea that hes so soft and sweet to his lover ??? yeah yeah that gets me sm like i LIVE for it. And aaah im so sorry bb but i am not actually into stories that include like drugs asjalalao but YESSS omg having hanma shuji turn to putty at your feet HMMM just seeing his annoying little smirk turn to a submissive smile... yeah thats a good image 😌
And aaaah thank you sm im so happy you liked my draken fics and how i wrote him 🥺 im a huge draken fan too so cmon lets simp together ABSKWKAKA like draken is perfect mmkayyy if ran haitani didnt exist then yea i’d be into draken. also ur kind words i am just ,,, extremely soft rn i dont even have words but thank you so much 😭😭💕 i hope you have an even better day or night as well and much love sent your way !!
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drkcnry67 · 4 years ago
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join me?
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title: join me?
pairing: Jared x reader
rating: 18+
fluff: single parent AU
kink: shower sex
tags: shower sex, single parent x single nanny, vaginal penetration, climax, asking someone you know to become your partner in raising your child
summery: not telling
mentioning @sweetness47​
created for @spnfluffbingo​ @spnkinkbingo​
kink list   fluff list
the following AD you had placed on all the job boards:
“if you are a Single parent in need of someone to move in to help look after your kids, clean, cook for you Im that person. obviously i can cook, clean, drive, shop for groceries you know the esentials. basically anything you would require of me i can accomplish. call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx, to discuss details. sincerely YN. PS im willing to relocate if needbe. thank you for reading this.”
just like that it was done, it was posted. now, all you had to do was wait. someone was bound to call eventually. 
after 3 weeks you were about to re-post the ad, your phone rang. someone from san Antonio, as far as you were concerned you knew of no one who lived in that corner of the world. 
you took a chance and answered the call. 
YN: hello!
Jared: yes, im looking for YN
YN: thats me
Jared: perfect, my name is Jared Padalecki. i’m a single father to a 4 year old boy named Thomas. he’s my mess maker & i love him to bits. but balancing between work and parenting is alot harder than most people think. my wife had divorced me she felt like i didnt care enough about her or the foundation she built, so one night she walked out and i havent seen her since. so anyway i was looking through the ads for live in nanny when i came across yours. your ad drew me to it, im sorry if this sounds too forward but its been hard. 
YN: not at all. so what are the terms of this job?
Jared: well, as we speak im just finishing the details of your flight to San Antonio which first of all i need your current location like where you are coming from and how much baggage you are bringing. 
YN: thats very kind of you to book me a flight. im coming from San Francisco with 3 suitcases and 2 carry ons. most of it are small keepsakes and other sich clothing items i pick up along the way. but not a big deal i just dont have a permenant home to leave anything at. so if you dont mind me coming with all my little nik naks and figurines...
Jared chuckled in the background before he spoke.
Jared: girl, i think we can deal with that. ill buy some wall shelves and a special case for your statues and figures, with enough room that should you want more you can get more. There will be a vehicle you can use to transport my son to school and do errands and stuff like that, there will be a spare room included for you with your own bathroom. The shopping can be done by you after you drop my son off to school on a day of your choosing. If you like all that your duties do not include yard maintenence. You are free to take my son out for shopping trips as well, you get a shared card to my all expense account to do all your spending for the house and for yourself. It goes straight to my account it's all good. I want your time here to be awesome.
YN: this is my cell, please tell me you have some good news about my flight details. 
Jared: check your texts. 
You check your messages before you go back to the call.
YN: thats a good flight, so what kind of plans are for when i get there. 
Jared: well if you want we can go get the groceries when you arrive, after we leave the airport. then we can go for lunch and get you a few pretty things. sign some bank papers to put your name in my accounts. 
Yn: that sounds good, I've just sent notice to my landlord, I'm just packing up some of my figures now. I'm gonna have to get my license and stuff switched over to Texas state license but I'm excited for this.
Jared: i know as am i its been a while since we had any type of female presence in the house. we havent any such thing, but tomorrow that all changes. i know that you are gonna bring a light into our lives that hasnt been here in well ever. 
YN: glad i can help, now lets see whats the day tomorrow yields. 
Jared: i am so excited, so is my son. he keeps asking when you are gonna be here. but it is gonna be a happy day tomorrow. i know that this is gonna sound strange, but i hope your the one that can save me.
you heard his tone change instantly, you felt the power coming from it. you felt the wet in your panties. you were not okay in the slightest. but you felt amazing at the same time. 
YN: i guess ill let you go. ill shoot you a text when i get to the airport. cause i want to help you. i want to be the one to save you. 
neither of you knew what the hell just happened, neither of you would remember what was said, at the end of it neither of you would be able to state the words of the other. it will remain that way till a different day in the near off future. 
Jared: ill see you tomorrow... YN.
YN: jared.
the call ended, it was the moment when you felt like you could breathe again. the moment when you felt as though it would be your last. the moment when you felt like you were on cloud 9. 
you went to the cornerstore to get a few travel items. a few other things as well. a lot of times before you travel you do this kind of big shop, but this time was not like most times. Jared was providing everything for you, you had to bring you and what you currently owned, as well as your documents and stuff like that. 
after cleaning most of what you could in the apartment, you set your alarm and went to bed. you woke up to your 6:00am alarm. it was a long time but you were also a good half hour to the airport. you wanted plenty of time for check in and travel distance. 
finishing packing, leaving your keys to the apartment in the hands of your landlord who helped you bring your bags out the front door. she wished you a safe trip and to call if you were ever in the area again. 
you brought your bags to the cab and got in. you told the driver to take you to the airport. upon arrival at the airport, the cab driver helped you load your bags onto a cart and drove off.  you pushed the cart into the airport, went to the check in desk. 
check in lady: may i see your ticket and passport please?
You hand over your ticket and passsport. the lady scans your ticket and hands both your passport and ticket back to you. 
check in lady: alright your good to go, the gift shop is open if you want to stop there, its just on your left passed security.
Yn: do I give you my suitcases! Well at least the ones that aren't carry ons.
Check in lady ushers for a security guard to come round to take the 3 suitcases from you. To which you smile and thank them and head off to go through security.
Security guard: please put all your bags in a bin, your jacket and shoes as well as your jewelry in this bin and then you can stand on this square we will bring you through and go from there.
you did as asked. you complied you went to stand on the square, were waved through, the thing didnt beep but you were still patted down and then given your stuff back.  sent on your merry way, you were happily walking through the airport again. 
you went to the gift shop, you were buying a few puzzle books to keep you entertained on the flight. as well as a dress off the rack and some playing cards (one of each type), and some statues. these ones were small but made you smile.
you paid for everything and then went to the bathroom to change and organize your bags. you come out of the bathroom, your hair is up in a ponytail. you go take a seat holding your passport and ticket. 
after half hour of sitting there, your flight number was called. You pulled out your phone, texting Jared.
Yn (by text): morning, I am about to board my flight
Jared (by text): morning, I hope you have a safe flight, Thom and i cant wait to see you. Thom made you a sign we will be holding it, you have my word and honor that we will be good, we will all get along quite good. 
YN (by text): of course, as do i. i look forward to getting to San Antonio and beginning a new life. the pre flight is starting ill let you know when i land. 
Jared (by text): have a safe flight. see you in a few hours. i gotta bathe the kiddo. 
The pre flight took a bit longer than you thought it would, but Jared's message was one you ended up saving as a screenshot. You listened to your music when the flight attendant said we were free to use the screens ahead of us and whatever else. 
You even did some puzzle books and wrote in your journal. 
You were nervous, of course you were nervous. This was the first time you were gonna meet a single dad and a son. Thoughts of what they might look like floated through your mind. The thoughts of the life you were stepping into were beyond what your mind could conjour. 
But the way he spoke to you said something about saving you, made you wonder if something more was happening to him. 
Something maybe in his past that might be coming after him now. There was a darkness in his voice that you couldn't shake. 
But you shoke it off, you were not gonna let these thoughts consume you. You waited for the hours to pass, and they did rather quickly. 
For what was once 30 mins that had passed, became an hour and a half. You were almost there. 8 am quickly turned into 1030am there was still half hour to go. 
This was it the landing checks the whole pack up whatever you took out, close the trays un recline your seats, take out and shut off your music speech came quickly. You put away the books and things, you held your phone in one hand using the other to get up form your seat. You followed the people out of the plane. 
You walked out onto the concourse and made sure you were lookin good before you stepped onto the escalator. 
Jared was watching, but when his eyes landed on you coming toward him he smiled. He couldn't help himself. A little voice in his head told him not to smile, but to jump you instead. Jared ignored that voice for he didn't want to do anything harmful with Thom around. Even then he wouldn't. he instead watched you walk toward him. 
Jared: YN.
YN: you must be Jared. It is a pleasure to meet you. 
You both shake hands but a spark flows between both of your hands. Before you place your bags on the ground and look at Thom. 
YN: you must be the little cutie. Did you make this sign all by yourself?
Thom nods and gives you a hug which you graciously return. You were feeling happy. 
Jared: i think we should go wait by the luggage bay so we can grab your luggage. Then we can head off for lunch and shopping and paper filling. 
YN: the luggage should have started coming out by now anyway right?
Jared: possibly. But i want to hear more about you, your adventures and can i just say that dress is delectable. 
There it was again, that deep dark tone to his voice. He now held his hand out for your bags as Thom was urging for you to carry him. Jared carried your carry ons, you carried Thom who just smiled happily. 
Jared: ive never seen Thom take kindly to anyone before. This is gonna work out just fine. 
YN: thom is so sweet, i look forward to working with him on a daily basis. I also look forward to helping you with the house. 
You smiled as thom came up to you and sat in your lap. Jared just watched amazed by your skill with kids. 
As the luggage came round you pointed out your suitcases to Jared who grabbed them placing them on the cart. 
You held thom who just contently hugged you. He nestled himself against the crook of your neck, soft snores filled yours and Jared's ears shortly after. 
Jared: he barely slept last night he was too excited. I'm not surprised that he is sleeping now. 
Jared says as you all walk to the car, Jared with the luggage cart, you holding thom. You gently placed thom in the car, you watch Jared place the luggage in the trunk. 
Jared: and you are the miracle worker, he is asleep. He will sleep till we wake him for lunch. He will also hopefully sleep through the bank and licencing appointments. 
Before he could say another word you went over and gave him a kiss to his cheek. The air between you both was growing thin. 
This would have been your first kiss if not for the fact that jared’s watch went off. 
Jared: we have to be at the bank in half an hour. Which is perfect but first i want to try something. Just dont move.
You didnt move you stood there as Jared slid his hand around your waist. And placed a soft kiss to your neck. Then moved to whisper in your ear. 
Jared: a little bit of food for thought. The darkness is growing inside me and i swear i will hold it back as long as i can. But you need to understand you are the only one who can stop the darkness. 
You went round to your side of the vehicle. Feeling a little flustered. Jared was behind you, you turned to see him, his eyes starring at you. His hand on your own, you feel a spark, you feel that same spark that you both had felt back in the airport, when you first met. 
The ride to the bank was good, you and jared talked and went over a list for shopping and made a list of things to do when you arrived to Jared’s home. You were done the bank & licensing appointments.
 Deciding that it would be easier pick up take out for lunch as Thom was still sleeping. Like he was out like a light. You guys were able to quickly go in follow the list and get everything on the list. Finally on the road with lunch and heading home to Jareds. 
YN: so i guess i will need to set up some stuff and unpack. 
Jared: ill even help you set up and build the shelving and things. Believe me your suite is gonna be your style when we are through with it. We are almost there. Then we will get you settled. And its still early in the day. 
YN: lets hope that we can get a majority of this done before thom wakes up. 
Jared: or at least un pack the car or have the lawn care people help with that as well. Ill just pay them extra for it.  
Within a few moments after that you guys pull dup to a gate, where Jared used a key card to open it. 
Jared: welcome to your new home YN! 
From that point in the day you and Jared and thom spent it getting acquainted, you did some schooling with thom, jaredd helped you set up your suite, Jared and you celebrated with a glass of wine each before bed from then on.  More little moments were stollen like the one that happened in the airport. 
Something worse would be a drift in the near future. you didnt know what but you had a feeling that something would come to light that you would never expect in a million years. 
~its now been 8 months and 12 days since you came to live with Jared and Thom. you settled in quite nicely. you drove back and forth to get thom to and from school, you cooked, cleaned and you happily did all the laundry. now we start our story again on the last day of school, with you just having picked up Thom from school and are in the car driving back home~
you had just gotten on the freeway Thom had passed out a while back for his afternoon nap. you were just happy for a small moment of peace and quiet. but your bluetooth came through the car at a volume that thankfully didnt wake Thom. 
you saw it was Jared so obviously you answered. 
Jared: hey hows it going?
Yn: good, thom is having a nap, im just on the freeway. how was work?
Jared: good, i couldnt wait for the day to be over. i have a surprise for you. 
YN: for me or for me and thom or for all 3 of us
Jared: call it a family surprise. 
YN: wait im part of the family. none of my jobs previously had ever considered me part of the family. its nice to finally be included in an actual family. 
you could hear jared chuckle before he continued to speak. 
Jared: i know you are new to the whole permenant family thing, and we are always gonna have a home here for you. but i want to celebrate the start of summer with a tradition. 
YN: something new or something old?
Jared: a new tradition one that starts as soon as you guys get home... 
YN: and will i need to pack a bag?
Jared: yes although i had my assistant at work go out and buy you a few new things for this trip today, so how long till you guys get home... 
suddenly thom pipes up from the background. 
thom: hi daddy.
Jared: hey little man, ive got a surprise for you when you and YN get home. 
YN: we will see you in 10 minutes jared. 
Jared: see you in the driveway 
the call ended and you handed thom a sucker from your center console. he smiled and giggled all the rest of the way home. you pulled into the driveway parking in your normal spot. 
Jared comes round to bring thom out first, after spinning him around before setting him down on the ground, he comes round to your side. he opens the door and extends his hand to you. 
he helps you out of the car, and walks you to the door. where you all enter before Jared send thom up to his room to get ready. guess he had told thom the secret before he told you, but you were now standing in the living room with Jared who turns to you.
YN: what is the big surprise, i assume you told Thom and thats why he ran upstairs all excited. 
Jared: i bought us a vacation house about 2 months ago. it is all season, and we get to go there and spend these next 6 weeks there. its in canyon lake about 2 hours by car. thom will probably sleep at least part of the way there. but YN i want you to know that i have a secret one that has me flustered enough to internally keep it from you for he is the glue that holds us together. but i wonder if perhaps we as in us 2 have a few things we can be together. 
before you could respond Jared leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, for those 2 seconds it was like heaven had shot you with an arrow.
Jared pulled back and began to walk toward the kitchen to pack some trip snacks and drinks. but before leaving you alone in the living room he spoke.
Jared: ill leave you with that food for thought for it will be something to definately make conversation about later.
That kiss, your only real first kiss. Made you extremely excited. But the drive the 2 hour drive had you all hot and bothered. you went to pack your stuff in your bag. well at least thats what you thought, when you got to your room, you saw a suitcase, one filled with yours and Jareds stuff. maybe you guys were traveling light or there was already stuff out there for you guys.
you packed your journals, some games and a few books and of course a deck of cards in your backpack. you wheeled the suitcase out of the suite while carrying the backpack. then you went back in to put your hair back.
you heard someone calling your name. you answered the call and heard footsteps coming to your room. you turned to see Jared standing there, like nothing had happened downstairs.
Jared: are we almost ready to go?
YN: almost. just gonna get into something a bit more vacay less public appearance. meet you down in 2... 
Jared: wear something sexy. i guarantee that you will be the hottest thing in the car. and you can pick the music. 
you grabbed something out of the closet and took it into the bathroom. you came out to see Jared standing not  facing you. till you would speak woulkd be when he would know you were there.
YN: does that mean we are bluetoothing it all the way there.
Jared: got the wireless charging pad installed and all ready to go. plus i hooked your phone to the bluetooth already. now when you are ready we will head out.
YN: i know. jared are we gonna discuss what happened between us downstairs?
Jared: that kind of talk is better suited for vacation. 
thom is waiting by the door, you and jared bring down the last of the stuff. thom just as excited about this vacation as any little child should be. everything was loaded in the car, you went to lock the house and set the alarm. but before setting the alarm, you said the one word that you were sure might confirm your suspicions. 
YN: christo!
the cross on the wall near by turned upside down. you finished setting the alarm after salting the doors and windows. only hoping that this would be easy, but now you were certain that you had figured out the darkness that Jared kept mentioning. 
you went to the car, sitting down you nodded at Jared to start driving. and it was declared right then and there that you all were officially on vacation. Thom sat quietly and eventually passed out. your music playing in the background, Jared realizing that Thom had fallen asleep moved his hand to rest on your thigh.
this made you look at him, the darkness in his eyes faded when you placed your hand on his. the darkness that starred at you, the way his hand tightened on your thigh. you were the luckiest girl in the world. you hoped that this vacay would yield the answers you hoped you didnt need. 
over the last little while you had done research on what you thought might be the darkness latched to Jared. after what happened in the house before you left with the cross. you were certain. Jared was possessed. and you had to stop this thing from doing something he would regret. 
your mind circled with those thoughts, but a voice brought you out of your own mind.
Jared: you have been quiet, is everythign alright?
YN: yes everything is fine. just going over the list and making sure we dont need to have the lawn people do any extra tasks while we are gone.
jared: why do you think we forgot something?
YN: its just a feeling. but its nothing to worry about. now when we get there i assume that we are gonne have a tour and a chance to unpack before we decide our first vacation activity.
Jared: i also hope you dont mind sharing a room with me. its a little 5 bedroom cottage but the 3rd, 4th and 5th rooms are supposed to be guest rooms. they only has a cot and no closet. we are just waiting on a few parts to be reno’d in there. 
YN: i think i can live with this arrangement. thom i assume is gonna be in a room close by.
Jared: yep he is at one end of the hall we are at the other. you know when i called you all those months ago, asking you to fly out here to help me, i was ready to give up on finding someone to help me take care of the house and Thom. but your ad made me have hope that maybe you would be the one that would save me.
YN: i think i know what darkness follows you but i wont know forsure until i can run a test. 
Jared: what kind of test
YN: one that would need to be done when Thom is asleep. one that i hope will either prove me right or prove me a liar. that is if your willing to try.
Jared: im willing to try anything.
YN: well then we will try it tonight after Thom goes to bed. 
neither of you had realized how much time had passed, then you saw a sign. Jared smiled.
Jared: we are close now.
YN: that sign that i just saw is that where we are going?
Jared: yep. once you se the place you will understand why i got it. and i sound proofed the master, just in case...
he winked at you as he slowed down at the edge of a driveway. he then guided your gaze to look ahead at the cottage that now stod before you.
Thom woke up shortly after you had pulled him out of the car. he rubbed his eyes and smiled as he ran toward the house, screaming happily as he approached the steps. where he waited for you and Jared. 
you both brought what you could while still having hands to open the door and help Thom up the stairs. jared unlocked the door allowing you and thom to walk through first. your eyes went wide at the first glance of your home away from home with Jared and Thom. 
this was gonna be an amazing vacation. you put down what you carried, as well as let go of Thom who was running around looking at everything. you spun round and somehow landed in the arms of Jared.
Jared: what do you think?
YN: what do i think.. this is amazing. i love this. this is incredible. i wouldnt trade this vacation for anything. honestly i would rather be no where else. im quite happy here. 
Jared: as in this home or my arms.
YN: both. jared, i i... 
just as your about to speak again. you and jared are interrupted by thom coming out of a nearby room half dressed. 
Thom: daddy, YN can we go swimming now...
jared set you back on your feet and you both laughed. 
Jared: in a few moments bud we gotta find the swim suits first. 
as Jared said that the attendants brought up the luggage. you looked at Jared who just smiled and whispered in your ear.
Jared: you have the summer off to relax for 6 weeks. just be normal with me and Thom. these next hours could prove several things for us. starting with lets take Thom swimming and then go from there. we will hopefully eat when we return. the attendants are already preparing supper. 
you could do nothing except smile. it was already turning into a really steamy vacay. you went to where you saw jared going through your shared suitcase. first chance you got you grabbed your bikini and cover.
you went into the nearby spare room closing the door behind you. you get changed, you could hear Jared ask one of the attendants to take Thom to find him a life jacket from the boat house. then you heard silence. 
then you heard the sound of the door knob turning, you were only half done tying your bikini. when Jared walked in shirtless and wearing his swim trunks. 
Jared: need help?
you froze in place at his words it was like your actions were not your own. it was a few seconds after that you felt his hands around your waist sliding slowly up your back.
Jared: i wish we had this place to ourselves. we would not be leaving that master suite for a while. 
YN: i wish Thom was asleep so i could take away your darkness. 
Jared: so you know what it is...
YN: yes and i need you alone when i take away the darkness, Thom would be in too much danger. dont worry you will be darkness free soon. you will be back in the light and free to live your live happy with me and Thom. im not gonna let this darkness ruin your life any longer. tonight it gets banished.
Jared: just gotta tire Thom out enough that he will sleep tonight. 
YN: well then lets not keep him waiting any longer. 
you and jared walk outside and down the path to the lake. you were amazed at the wonder and beauty before you. bout halfway to the lake, you were pressed against the back side of a nearby tree. Jared’s eyes darkened at the sight of you, the feeling of your body beneath his hands had him hard, you could feel it against your lower back. 
Jared: once Thom is gone to bed, I'm gonna make Jared watch through his own eyes as I fuck you into next week. Jared will never inhabit his body again.
You struggled slightly before speaking.
YN: i address the entity within, who are you?
Jared’s form just smiled evily at you, his hands still freely roaming your body. 
YN: well you should also know that you wont live long enough to fuck me into next week. im gonna expell you from Jared’s body and send you back where you came from. now i command thee for all that light brings give me Jared back immediately.
once you finished speaking Jared’s body fell to his knees, you kneel down to only be hugged by Jared.
Jared: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
YN: don't worry, just calm down. That demon is gonna be gone when I do the ritual. Take a few moments to breathe, I'm gonna go sit on the dock where the attendant is in the shallows with thom. Just take your time.
You placed a kiss to his cheek, then walked the rest of the way to the lake. Upon arrival at the lake, you watched the attendant and Thom, playing in the shallow water.
Attendant: miss YN. Where is Master Jared?
YN: he will be along shortly he just wanted to check his messages make sure everything is running smoothly.
Attendant: then I shall stay down here with you both till he arrives. How do you like the place Miss?
Yn: it's gorgeous. I love it. I have never been invited to go on any type of vacation. Not even in my own family. So this was a really awesome surprise.
Attendant: that is so sad... Well to many more times like this then. Thom here is a amazing little kiddo, you have been working so hard master Jared just wanted to give you a vacation you wouldn't soon forget.
Thom meanwhile was just enjoying the water, his expression had a huge smile on it. He was wet head to toe and absolutely having fun!
You kept waiting on the dock for Jared to approach and for 10 min he didn't till you, looked and saw his form approach.
you sat on the dock and felt him slide down behind you, his legs are on either side of yours, his arms round your waist. you both sat there enjoying the view while Thom played with the attendant in the water below. neither you nor Jared felt like moving knowing that in a few hours you both would be expelling the demonic force that lay now dormant inside Jared. 
Jared: do you know what is better than sitting here on the dock.
YN: what
Jared: sitting on the dock with you surrounded by nature, this will be the best vacation ever once we get rid of the demon.
~time skip to a few hours later. after some swimming you all went back to the house for dinner. after dinner you guys played a game or 2 with Thom who then went with one of the attendants and had a bath, then it was time to put him to sleep. you and Jared read him a story, then he fell fast asleep. for he truely was tuckered out, you and Jared dismissed the attendants and locked the doors for the evening. you both went to the master suite as we return to the story.~
YN: i need to set something up first can you wait like 5 minutes before you enter the bathroom. oh and dont plan on showering in your trunks, and bring towels with you. i have a feeling like we will need them when we are done. 
Jared: ill see you in there.
you walk towards the bathroom, holding the prayer beeds in one hand and un doing your bikini in the other. you placed the bikini on the ground and set your phone on the counter. 
YN:  Exorcizo te, creatura aquae. In nomine dei patris omnipotentis et in virtute spiritus sancti.
you finished the incantation and placed the rosery on the shower head so it lands in the water. then you took one look out the window and just let the water run over your body. 
Jared walks in with nothing on he places the towels on the counter, you see him out of the corner of your eye.
Yn: join me?
Jared didn't need an invitation he was already climbing in behind you. For he knew that this was the only way to expell the demon.
You turned around and now faced him, you looked up at him holding his gaze you move him round so he is under the water.
His body starts shaking that's when you spoke again.
Yn: please let this work...
You had him lift you up so he was holding you as you slid down onto his cock, and spoke the incantation that hopefully would save his life. In other words bring his light fuller to push away the darkness.
Also there was a Devils trap in the floor where jard was standing you had the attendantz draw one, for the demon to be sent straight back to hell. With a clear voice the following words were spoken by you.
Yn: exorcisomus te, omnis immunus spirits, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarri, omnis legio, omnis congregato, insectas diabolicas, ergo dracto malidicte, eclesium secura fascious liberate, te regamous, audinos
At that point black smoke came out of Jared's mouth, and went straight through the floor. When Jared looked at you again his eyes were clear and he leaned you against the wall.
He began thrusting his hard cock in and out of your pussy. It was something that both of you had dreamed about for months.
His hard cock pounding your sensitive tender pussy. With each thrust you climaxed. But it was the kisses that left you both breathless.
The more he thrust the more he came. After 45 minutes and 16 climaxes for the both of you.
Jared set you down, helped you rinse off, both of you getting out after Jared turned off the water, Jared wrapped a towel round you, then he dried himself off.
Jared: thank you. Thank you for saving my life. But where did you learn to do that.
YN: too much research on the paranormal. I knew something was off and when that demon named himself I knew what I had to do. 
Jared: would you consider making your time here a role more permenant than just a nanny?
YN: what kind of role would that be?
you are immediately pickd up and placed on the bed with Jared crawling on top of you. he made love to you for a few moments before just curling up with you in his arms and muttered only 2 words before he crashed.
Jared: marry me
you used voice command to turn out the lights before passing out yourself. when you both woke the next morning with just a sheet covering your still cuddling forms. you blinked a bit before moving a piece of Jared’s hair out of his eyes. 
it was a few moments later that Jared stirred. 
YN: morning handsome.
Jared: that was the best ive slept in years. 
YN: do you remember saying anything after we hit the pillow last night.
Jared twists away from you for a moment and pulls something out of one of the drawers in his nightstand, before coming back to your embrace.
Jared: all this time i felt empty and now i want nothing more than to have you stay permenantly. YN will you partner with me in raising Thom full time, not as a nanny but as a step mom to him. YN i believ i already asked you this but will you marry me?
he reveals a small rose gold band with a 15k diamond in the center surrounded by your birthstone and Jareds birth stone. this made you nod alot, trying to find your voice as the cool metal band slid on your finger. 
YN: yes! yes yes yes!!!! but umm does this mean we dont have to leave this bed right away. 
Jared: i think that can be arranged besides its still early. its only 6am... we are still on work time. 
going back to cuddle mode you admired your new ring as Jared now once more wraped your form in his own, your leg draped over his hip and you guys were basically a free range pretzel. so to speak. it became the start of the life you always wanted something permenant and stable. not loose and ragged. 
goes to show love strikes when you least expect it.
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when-willl-my-life-begin · 5 years ago
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NAYA
You never expect to look up your favorite actress and see their life summed up in that small dash between birth and death. That's not supposed to happen to you when you're young. You expect to grow old with these people just as you have grown up with them. Especially if that person gave you the representation you didnt know you wanted but that you desperately needed to see. A representation that helped you come to terms with yourself and your existence in this world. That let you know it was okay to be unapologetically yourself and live your life for yourself. No I never actually got to meet Naya, but through her portrayal of Santana Lopez I got to not only see an unapologetic Latina on my screen, I got to see someone discovering their sexuality in a very real way. As her story unfolded realization on my part did too. I suddenly was met with this character I identified with more than I ever had before and it stunned me. No way was I not “normal”. No way did I like girls like I should like boys. But even through my own intense denial I kept watching and soon enough I was okay with the fact that I was a girl who liked girls. It wasnt immediate but through watching her I realized a huge part of myself, that I had been trying to push down. When something or someone has that affect on your life it stays with you. They stay with you. I watched everything Naya had done since Glee and even ventured to find everything she had done before. I smiled at pictures and videos of her throughout the years. Read every tweet and instagram post. Delighted in the news of her becoming a mother and the way she cared fiercely for her baby boy. I got excited for every new project and couldn't wait for her talent to be seen. She had so much left to give this world. Ive spent countless hours listening and watching her. Her voice was able to invoke the highest joy and the deepest sadness and I think thats remarkable and the fact that I was lucky enough to bear witness to that talent is an honor.
What now? I wonder to myself as I lay here. There is nothing to do. No one to bring to justice. Just a horrible tragedy that we are left to handle. I cling to the news that she got her baby to safety before herself, that she went out of this world sacrificing herself to save her child. I cant bear to think about her family or her baby boy for too long. I can just hope and send good thoughts to them as they try to navigate the relentless pain of her loss. I hope it brings them comfort to know that she was a light in this world. I dont think its an exaggeration to say that she saved many lives, including my own. I hope her son is constantly reminded by this and that he is growing up in a world his mother helped make a better place. It may seem silly for this to affect me so much but I love Naya and I always will. I think she will always be a huge part of my life. She's engrained on my life as I'm sure she is on many others. Days will pass and this pain will dull. But I will always remember Naya because I am alive and I am going to spend my life to the fullest with the woman I love by my side. Rest in Peace. My sweet Naya.
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blackrosesfanfic · 4 years ago
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Chapter 240
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Chris
"Christopher, this is fucking real." Amber snaps.
I sit up in bed. "Bae."
She stands in front of the mirror. "This is going to be fucking... There's so much shit. I will be having a baby next year. What are we doing? Tell people? Not?"
"Girl, go to damn sleep."
"I can't." She blows. "Do you want to go with me to tell my parents? I mean like you going with me. So when we going?"
I sigh. "Arrange it and let me know. I don't fucking care. Go to sleep."
She walks towards the bedroom door. "It's fucking late. Get out the bed, FatHead."
"Walk faster." I groan.
"Aye, Chris." Trey says walking in the room.
I sigh. "Yeah."
"Cammie's mom made gumbo."
"For breakfast?"
"Bitch it's fucking 11."
I look at the clock. "I thought you were leaving."
"We all leaving tomorrow. You got the place till tomorrow. Plus Cammie's stepfather is here and Cammie acting like a human. I mean... me and Caden just woke up but anyway. She doing better."
"I thought it was you that needed fixing."
He shrugs. "My shit good."
"Where my baby?" I say looking around.
"Probably eating." Trey shrugs.
I sit up. "Is it wrong for wanting Amber pregnant and giving her a hard time about not wanting it?"
"What woman you know happy to be pregnant once she pregnant? You see Leah. You knew Cammie and MiMi. She pregnant. You take the happy days and you fucking go with it any other day."
"She not that far along."
"She pregnant. Who cares? They feel that shit."
I start to get out of bed then grab my balls when I feel a shit load of air. I chuckle at the face Trey makes. Before he could say anything Lane runs into the room.
"Chris you butt out!" Lane yells.
"Lane?" Cammie snaps.
Lane grabs Trey's legs. "Daddy, get me. Daddy?"
Trey picks him up as he scrambles from what might have been Cammie coming. Trey turns around walking out. I get up and walk to the bathroom. I'm not fucking getting rid of my baby. Amber can shut the fuck up and deal with life. She knew we were once trying. Nobody has been doing shit not to get pregnant.
"Mama Cammie can cook her ass off. Taste this."
"No." I snap.
She makes a lot of noise. I look behind me at her.
"Why are you being mean?"
"I feel like you putting all this stress on me about this baby when you and I both know you keeping it. Why argue?"
"Are you high? What are you talking about?" She snaps walking out. "What's happening? Chris acting mean to me because I'm not trying to kiss his ass today. Chris! You have a plane in the morning! I told him."
I'm fucking pissed off at the way she is acting right now. Like who the fuck is this when you been acting so shitty yesterday? I feel like she is acting fake as shit. But I don't know which Amber is fake. Is it this nice as person that seems to be okay with being pregnant or is that hateful bitch from last night fake? I walk into Cammie and Trey's room. Nobody was in there. I sigh.
"Nooo." Lane cries.
"Yo, what are you doing?" Trey asks walking past me into the room.
I realize that I was just standing there. "Ain't no way they can flip like that."
"Man, you don't know shit about little people then. But we woke up like this."
"Huh?" I retort. "Pregnant women."
He laughs. "Oh, yeah. I told you."
"I need to work on my attitude." I shake my head.
"Go talk to Rollie. I'm still working on my fucking attitude." He snatches Lane up from the bed. Lane starts crying. "Boy, what are you doing? Let's take a nap. Wait til your mama gets back."
Lane cries. "No tell Mommy."
Trey lies down on the bed with Lane. "Now is a good time to talk Chris. Go."
"Huh?"
"Talk to Amber while she feeling good, nigga. Do everything while she feeling good."
"Oh." I say turning to walk out. "You seen my daughter?"
"Getting spoiled by Cammie's mom. Cammie's nice twin."
Amber wasn't anywhere in the kitchen or front part of the house. I won't hunt her down to disturb her from her bouncy attitude. I'll wait til after I eat. I sit down at the table with Marco. He looks at me.
"Chris Brown right?"
"Nigga." I snap.
He chuckles then shows me his phone. There's a half naked woman on Facetime. I lean forward looking at the screen. I guess the nigga was showing me to someone not showing me his phone. She smiles faintly. I narrow my eyes at Marco. I guess all men are fucking dogs.
"You bold." I say looking down at my phone.
"She ain't shit to me." Macro's ass says out loud. Damn.
The girl says nothing. What the fuck? I didn’t think that was Marco. I just saw him as. Well shit. The motherfucker is never around. His baby mama is never with him or his kid. Hell they been together for a long as time and not married. It all makes sense. He hangs up the phone randomly. Like he had said bye.
"Marco you work?"
"Military."
"Who was that?" I nod towards the phone.
He kinda shakes his head. "I used to be in the military. I work at a gun manufactory company, which I got through my military clearance."
Hilda walks into the dining room. Oh shit. "Why you never do what I tell you?"
"What didn't I do?"
"Where is your son?"
Marco picks his phone up then puts it in his pocket. This man is clearly not paying attention to shit Hilda is saying. She slaps his dreads then she sucks her teeth walking out of the room. What kinda relationship is this? Marco chuckles to himself then he stands up.
"Thought you were different." I say to him.
"From who?" He shrugs.
I shrug back. "Don't know any faithful people nigga."
"I'm faithful." He nods. "Devin faithful."
"Devin not."
Marco makes a face. "This last time they been together. That’s been like 3 years. He a pretty good motherfucker."
"How you fucking faithful my nigga? I saw that fucking girl. I know you fucking loud ass girl. She ain't gonna go for you talking to some bitch on the phone."
"You right." Marco nods. "Aye, Baby!"
The sliding door opens. "Marco, go get your fucking son. Why are you calling me?"
"Tasha calling me again. I answered."
"I can't stand your childish ass shit." She says closing the door.
Marco laughs and walks out the door. "I tried."
"I thought I was fucked up." I say to myself.
I could hear him laughing still. I got a feeling he didn't say shit about that girl on his phone. I don't think I'm close enough to Hilda to start some shit about a girl on her man's phone. Let me mind my business. Weird ass guy.
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Rollie
"Daddy, I... Daddy, you listening?" Jordan asks.
"Yes, Baby." I reply.
She hugs my neck. "I love you."
"I love you too." I say eating my food.
"Grandpa?" Jordan says funny. "Daddy, me and Grandpa going to look for seashells down by the big rocks. Oh Daddy, I have to tell you about my new grades. 3 A's and a B cause I didn't know we had a test and I missed school. I mean I didn't do the make up work. That's why. Is the B okay?"
I kiss her arm thats around my neck. "It's not okay that you didn't turn in work. So you didn't do everything you could but I like B's. I think you can try harder next time."
"Yes, sir, I can. Cause Mommy say I can't miss school if I can't make up my work. I want to go to California with you whenever I can. Or wherever you go."
"Can I eat?"
She let's go of my neck. "I'm going to ask Lexi if I can braid her hair like mine."
"Okay." I say relieved.
"God always has a way." Lonnie says.
I look at him. "What you talking bout, Preacher?"
He smiles at me then eats his food. After a few seconds he nods. "I think we can be friends on different terms now. You see how you can love a child that isn't yours. God teaches lessons all the time."
"Yeah."
"You still pray?"
I stare at him for a minute. He just casually talking and eating. Not caring if he talking to himself. Aight Lonnie. I do see how you can love a child that isn't yours. I don't need him and I never needed him to become the man I am today. But it was never any disrespect between us. I just simply needed him to know I didn't need a daddy. I guess we agree.
"Maybe not enough." I nod.
"Trey?" Lonnie says standing up. "Won't you have a sit? Talk a bit."
I glance at Trey. He looks at me then he walks into the room. "Sure."
"I like to be blunt." Lonnie says sitting and continuing to enjoy his meal.
"Good." Trey says.
Lane comes in the room whining. He wedges himself in between Trey's legs and watches me. What little boy? You got your daddy. Why you staring at me?
"I try to mind my business. That's not always best. Jayla needs a better man. More specifically a better husband then you. One who is complete."
I chuckle then look at Trey. Of course he had his face balled up mad. But Lonnie kept eating his food. I chuckle at that as the awkward pause feels the room. What are you going to say next Lonnie? You come here thinking you the fix to everyone's problem. What's going to fix this nigga?
"You aren't complete without God."
"Oh." I whisper. "Deep."
Lonnie looks at me. "Living in sin is equally as wrong as murder, in this case, suicide. You did good by getting married. God isn't going to punish you for doing right. He won't punish you for being rich either. But you have to acknowledge him and include him in your marriage. Complete yourself with God and you will be a better man."
"God?" Trey says like he never heard of God.
"Do you think your wife wanted to get married because of her family or because of her relationship with God."
Trey frowns. "Because of her reputation."
"Her reputation?" Lonnie frowns. "Well back home she is the sweet God fearing daughter of Gwendolyn. You know the good one. The one that's always in church. Until things happened at school 6 years ago. If I would have known then maybe she wouldn't have her sweet kids by you. So I won't go back in time. Because God makes no mistake when it comes to the lives that he puts on this Earth. Those boys were meant to be your boys. You were meant to be her husband."
"Yeah." Trey says.
Lonnie stands up from the table. "Would you like to pray with me later? Maybe I can give you some personal advise."
"That's cool." Trey says low.
"Good. Lane?" Lonnie says nodding then he chuckles.
Lane climbs into Trey's lap. "Daddy?"
"Okay, fine, Lane." Lonnie says walking out. "We will continue our game."
"I don't get why you and Cammie hate them so much. They don't seem all bad." Trey frowns.
I shrug. "Cause you older, wiser. Would you have honestly listened to that bull... BS as a teenager? A teenager that recently lost their parent? No. That's your answer. I answered for you."
"Maybe I do need to focus my marriage around God."
"Should have been done that." I say standing up and slapping Lane lightly.
Lane just hugs Trey. "Leave me alone."
I chuckle. "What is this man problem?"
"I don't know." Trey says hugging Lane back. "You okay Lane?"
"I okay." Lane says hugging Trey still. "Uncle Rollie hitting me."
Trey smiles at me. "Rollie don't hit him. He doesn't want to play right now."
I smile. "Sorry."
Bad ass gonna look at me to see my reaction. I leave out of the dining room going into the kitchen. Lonnie was sitting with April talking to her. Of course about God. He can't help take the church everywhere with him. But hell if it help Cammie and Trey then he needs to bring the whole church in this bitch. They need God.
"Rollie." Leah says walking into the kitchen. She touches my arm. "I don't know."
"Okay."
She grabs a bowl. "Did she make some that's not spicy for the kids?"
"My mama doesn't make hers spicy. She also makes the rice on the side." I say taking her bowl. "I'll do it for you."
"Oh..." Leah says frowning at me. "Thanks."
I nod my head at her. She hugs herself just staring at me. "Oh, did Jordan tell you about her grades? She wanted to be the one that told you. She was proud of her grades because she said you would be happy. Like I'm not happy when she makes good grades."
"Cause you fake." I say kissing at her.
"I tell that girl all the time how proud I am of her. She just really soaking this Daddy business up. Don't break my baby's heart."
I hand her the bowl. "I would never. Yours maybe."
She doesn't take it. Instead she eats some out of it cautiously. I look down her shirt as she leans forward. Her titties done grown like she already has milk in them. She snatches the bowl from me then turns my head towards the fridge. I look at my mother. She smiles slightly.
"Didn't hear me, TumTum?" She chuckles. "Did you like the gumbo?"
"Yeah, it was good." I nod.
She nods back. "April said I should have made my curry chicken. I didn't want to make anything too spicy. Plus gumbo can feed a lot. Maybe I'll cook her some another time."
"You should have made a cake."
"You want me to?" She nods. "I can get the stuff for it."
I shake my head. "Don't do anything special for me."
"Gwen, Lane is acting like he doesn't know me."
"I told you not to play that game with him. He doesn't stop his little games. Such a trickster like his mother was."
Lonnie chuckles to himself not saying anything. He rubs her arm then walks away. I leave out of the kitchen. I feel a lot differently towards Lonnie and my mother than I did years ago. I stop in front of Cammie and Trey's room.
"Lane!"
"No!"
I step inside. Cammie wasn't in the room. It was just Trey laying there with Lane on his chest. He was whispering something to Lane. Cammie comes out of the bathroom carrying a medicine bottle. She hands something to Lane. This girl gave him a damn pacifier. He puts it in his mouth then he takes it out looking at it.
"You giving him a pacifier?" I ask.
"He wanted to take his medicine like Caden. His ass wasted it all over the floor." Cammie snaps.
Lane a fucking spoiled ass little boy. I swear.
"That ain't gonna be my child. Imma show you how to raise a man."
"Bitch." Trey says then looks at Lane. Lane stares at him sucking on the pacifier. "You can't even stand to hear someone else child cry. It's a boy?"
"I'm saying it is." I shrug. "She doesn't want to know. She doesn't believe that we should know before the baby is born."
Trey narrows his eyes. "You have a girl it's over."
"You know it's different having Lonnie and GeeGee around as adults. Seems like shit changed. But ain't shit change but me." I say.
"Yeah."
Lane screams. Trey hands the pacifier to Cammie. "Stop."
"That mine!"
"Stop boy." Trey says sternly. Lane just lies there quiet. "Cammie talked with her mother about everything that happened in college. Peacefully. It's a lot of shit we got to get through as a family."
I chuckle. He being fucking modest. Bitch ass really saying he fucking told me so. Fucking prat. Throwing it in my face how he made that happen like he said he was. Then again the nigga didn't say that so I can't fucking say any of that shit. I nod my head at him. He smirks. See this bitch. Lane moves on his chest then gets off the bed screaming. He walks into the bathroom crying.
"Lane?" Cammie says. He just screams. "Okay, okay. You have to talk. I don't know what you want me to do. Tell me."
"I want Daddy."
Trey chuckles. "I'm so ready to be right. Again."
"Bitch." I say walking out.
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gale-gentlepenguin · 5 years ago
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Gale’s Top Ten: Favorite Pokemon Rivals in Game
Rules:
1. The character must be considered a Rival by the games themselves (bare minimum that you can fight them multiple times)
1.5: THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE THE ANIME VERSIONS OF THEM if they have them. Or else it would be a very different list.
2. I am focusing on the Main games only, no spin offs. I am not including their ANIME appearances (though I will use Gifs if they are available, if I did a best rivals in the anime, the list would be a LOT different)
3, This is not about who is the strongest Rival, this is about who is my Favorite Rival
4. This is purely an Opinion list. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Spoilers below
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10. Gladion (Sun and Moon/ Ultra SM )
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When Sun and Moon first came out and I ran into this guy. I thought to myself.
Who the f*** is this edge lord?
Honestly when I fought him the first time, I didn't think much of him.
It wasn't until I actually got deep into the story did I find out how interesting he was.
Older brother of Lillie, Son of Lusamine (one of the most bats*** crazy villains in Pokemon)
He stole an Arceus clone and hightailed it out of there because he could tell his mother was going crazy, and didn't want her ruining this Pokemon, and the lives of others.
The reason he is cold and distant is because he doesn't know who to trust, keeping his distance from Lillie in order to protect her.
He is still low on the list because despite this he is kind of boring and I think he still tries to be edgy.
9. Barry (Platinum)
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This Hyperactive, hardheaded rival is definitely keeps you on your toes. When it comes to battles he is one of the more fun rivals to fight, since his team is actually pretty tough, in Platinum. He gets one of the strongest teams IN THE SERIES. With the starter being level 85, which is one of the highest level Pokemon owned by a trainer, save for Red’s pikachu in SS and HG, which is level 88.
Barry also gets a bit of character development when fighting team galactic but he really doesn't have much character outside of it. He is really on here because his battles are fun and really, thats all you really need.
8. Bede (Sword/ Shield 
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This arrogant little s***! Oh when I first met this punk I rolled my eyes. A haughty arrogant trainer, how original. He acts like he is the best despite the fact you kick his butt. But then, oh, but then. He messes with your childhood best friend and Rival Hop. This guy makes Hop doubt himself and basically causes that boy an existential crisis. Which made the next Pokemon battle with him SO PERSONAL.
Of course, you learn more about his story and find out why he is such an arrogant d***weasel, he was an orphan that Rose found and adopted, so he wants to help the Chairman anyway he can. This results in him vandalizing a mural in order to get wishing stars for the Chairman, who was ashamed of the boy’s actions and kicks him out of the league as punishment. That was a shocking twist.
Bee ends up becoming Opal’s successor which also changes up his team a bit. This also shows his change in character and while still arrogant, he is at least a bit less of a jerk. Also, he is just so much fun to beat because he is a sore loser.
7. Silver (Gold/Silver/Crystal/ HG/SS)
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The Pokemon thief. The jerk with Red hair. Silver.
In the games he starts off as a jerk rival who much like another rival, acts like he is better then you.
But this rival is a thief and he seems to have a strong dislike of Team Rocket.
As the games go on, you see him realize that he learns why his team is lacking, he realizes he needs compassion. When he does learn this, his golbat becomes a Crobat, a Pokemon that evolves with affection.
You also find out he is Giovanni’s son in the celebi event,
which is an interesting twist, because it means Giovanni got laid.
6. Wally (Omega Ruby and Alpha Saphire)
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I really like Wally, out of the two rivals, he is the one that comes closest in terms of being an actual rival in Hoenn. May/Brandon is more focussed on research, but Wally wants to grow stronger with his waltz
I remember meeting him in Omega Ruby, when he was at the exit of Victory Road, he was waiting for you, having overcome the same challenges you had,
and then this starts playing, and really thats the main reason he is on here.
youtube
5. Hau (Sun and Moon/Ultra SM)
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Hau was the first friendly main rival I found myself liking. His love of food and being a bro by picking the starter WEAK to yours. This guy was a stand up dude and I can respect that. It also helps that after the 3rd battle he actually gets pretty tough.
He is a pretty good trainer and he love of masaldas is relatable. He also really gives off the go with the flow mentality that Alola brings.
4. Marnie (Sword/ Shield)
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I get why this girl has a fan club, she is pure and wonderful.
She is one of the league challengers you fight in the Galar league. I really like the inclusion of all of the Galar rivals, as they each have their own unique take.
Marnie is the younger sister of Piers, who is the gym leader of Spikemouth. She is seen as the beacon of hope for that city, wanting to become the champ to give those punk rockers of team yell some love and respect.
She may look like a rocker, but she is very sweet and encouraging. She treats people with respect and her battles are fun. Unlike her brother, she is willing to dynamax and I gotta respect that.
3. Blue/ Assface (Blue/Red/ Fire Red/ Leaf Green)
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(You know he is styling)
The original rival, the d-bag, the guy that is always one step ahead. Blue.
He is a tough trainer and he always seems one step ahead of you no matter how many times you beat him, he collected the badges, beat the elite four and then waits for you to show up so he can beat you when you are tired.
His dialogue is iconic, his snark is legendary, and you all be respecting the power he wields.
You better bring your best or you are finished.
But nothing is more satisfying then beating this smug prick.
2. Hop (Sword/Shield)
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My favorite rival in Galar, the childhood friend and he is a healthy mix of rivals. He is tough down the line like Barry, a charming warm personality like Hau, goes through growth Like Wally, but also has a depth that is beyond that. Unlike most of the other rivals, you see Hop actually struggle with who he is. Bede’s battle with him messed with his head, you see how that lost impacted him, you see how he wanted to make his big brother, the champion of Galar, proud. When he finally figures out who he is and what he wants to be, he becomes one of the toughest trainer in the post game. He even wins over a legendary Pokemon with his kindness, a gift few attain.
1. N (Black/White)
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I fucking love N.
His character is so interesting. At the start, his team is always changing and he always seems to use Pokemon that he befriended nearby, only to release them later since he doesn't believe in keeping Pokemon contained. He believes in the goals of team Plasma, the liberation of all Pokemon. When he is introduced, you assumed he had some connection with those Pokemon Peta equivalent. But you find out he was their king, and he soon shows why he is a boss. He captures one of the legendary Pokemon for his team and soars ahead of you.
You battle the elite four only to arrive moments after N claims the title of Pokemon Champion. His palace emerges and that is where you learn more about him. He was raised around abused and hurt Pokemon to make him mistrust humans, he wanted to free Pokemon because he believed that was the best thing for them. 
The final battle with him feels like a Clash between Ideals, and when you finally overcome that, with your own legendary Pokemon on your team, your realize the truth, Ghetsis was using him, he was a pawn in a game of world domination.
After that, you see the boy processing that maybe he didn't understand Pokemon or people and needed to find out what the Truth or Ideals he should hold, leaving with the legendary, off to find his answer.
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aslibekroglu · 4 years ago
Note
I want to start off by saying that this show is hilarious. The amount of times I'm losing it in my room seriously... Selim and Akgün together are a riot. "My good son, my wonderful son, my stupid son" lmao I was like, THATS ME WITH AKGÜN! MY STUPID, WONDERFUL SON THAT I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART!! The car chase lmao...Akgün being, "everything's over, they were short term feelings" and Selim threatening him with the gun when he said that lol. He won't let Akgün live in either situations.
The watch scene 😭😭😭😭. I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!! AKGÜN GETTING THE ACCEPTANCE HE'S ALWAYS WANTED!! I'm gonna start crying all over again. The chemistry between Alperen and Ali is amazing! Watching that scene a second time, it made me feel like Selim was also sort of, in a way, going to give his blessings for Akmur. Idk, what do you think?
Selim having second thoughts after seeing how devastated both were after the breakup, lol that was nice to see; how his conscience was eating him up
CanSel are just so damn adorable! Literally the cutest divorced couple ever
I'm so glad we got to see how bad the breakup was affecting Akmur. Like they didn't goes over it, I really liked that. Poor Akgün got a double whammy dealing with the breakup and photo. And my girl Yağmur!! I felt so bad for her, crying at school. Literally the worst place to have a breakdown (and oh, I WANT THOSE SELFIES!! WHERE ARE THE SELFIES?? WHERE ARE THEY???). Her happiness when Akgün called her. Legit disliked him there for 1 minute bc she was so happy to see him and him avoiding her hug. Ugggghhh Akgün
I don't care but I do not feel one bit bad for Kaan. He deserved it. Dude just killed any hopes he had of getting back with Yağmur. Not that she would get back with him but now Selim will kill him if he even looks at her
Naz & Soner!!!! (Will not complain about them getting a better edited kiss. Nope. Nuh-uh. I will not be one of those fans. Just kidding, I complained but like for a minute)
Yesss!!! I'm so glad the Bedri thing came back to Yağmur. I want to see mom and daughter take him down. If anybody can do it, it's them two. Especially Yağmur, like she said, she won't rest until she exposes him
Oh and Soner being the bestest friend ever!?!? He was serious when he said he doesn't forget the good things people do for him. He was on Akgün watch all day lol. I want more scenes of him and Akgün just being roommates
Anyways, some people are thinking that Selim and Akgün have something up their sleeve after that last shared look. Idk and honestly I'm just here for the ride. No theorizing for me lol
Tbh this show is so damn funny. And emotional. And dramatic. And romantic. There’s so many good parts about it, it’s just great. Akgün and Selim’s scenes at the police station and during the car chase absolutely cRACKED me up!!! And then the scene with the watch absolutely WRECKED me. Seeing Akgün get that acceptance he’s been looking for meant soooooo much! Alperen did such an amazing job in that scene. I was just a sobbing mess watching it. But, yeah when I first watched it the first thing that came to my mind was, is this watch meant to symbolize yağmur, is he giving his blessing, is he finally okay with them being together???? And idk, I’m excited to see how Selim treats them next episode, it’s going to be interesting seeing this development now that he’s really accepted Akgün . And as much as I loved seeing Selim feel bad about Yağmur hurting (that heart to heart they had in the garden was so so good), I just loved seeing how guilty he felt about Akgün. Like those moments when Selim was complaining about him and Canan was just like please, you know you love him and you know you feel guilty. Or when Akgün mentioned how they just can’t seem to separate, like no matter how mad he gets at Akgün, they’re bonded for life, they can’t get rid of each other!!!
Cansel was absolutely adorable, I really feel like it’s just a matter of time before they really do start dating again and I can’t waittttttt! Now, the Akmur fight. I was genuinely so mad at Akgün in that moment. He was breaching that type of jealousy that I hate in these dizis, that possessive, controlling type and I just hope they don’t really continue on that path. I so badly wanted him to apologize for it and they just made it seem like him beating up Kaan was enough and it wasn’t. I was proud of how she stood up to him in that moment, but the fact that Yağmur didn’t really make him answer for it kind of upset me. And in regards to the whole Kaan thing, what Akgün said was basically in the same vein of what Kaan was saying. Sure what Kaan said was a bit more extreme, implied something worse than what Akgün said, and was more insulting. And Akgün’s statement was more so based on just jealousy and the ‘ex-boyfriend’ of it all (plus him still being angry about the marriage situation) while Kaan’s was more so basic slut shaming, but it’s all the same ‘you can’t touch any other man while we’re together’ foolishness and it’s just gross. That being said, as much as I hated what the actual akmur fight was about, I LOVED the scene. Like idk what it was about it, but Alperen and Hafsanur’s chemistry and was on point in that scene. Between Yağmur just yelling at this brick wall that is a jealous Akgün and just being so done with Akgün’s low ass emotional iq, and Akgün only being able to focus on her calling Kaan her ex-boyfriend, that scene is just great!!!
Speaking of that scene, on youtube there were a bunch of comments saying like oh is this akgün and yagmur that we’re watching or canan and selim or wow akmur has really turned into cansel. And I just find it so interesting. I mean there have been examples in other episodes, but in this episode in particular they showed how similar the two couples are. Like of course it’s been brought up before how Akgün and Selim had similar upbringings, how Selim sees himself in Akgün. And in 14, you could see Yağmur following in similar footsteps as Canan, sacrificing herself for love. But in this episode they like specifically called it out multiple times. Idk it’s interesting. I wonder what they’re trying to say with that or where they’re going with it.
But that scene with Yağmur and Akgün when they’re talking about his brother legitimately made me cry. The way she is always teaching him to hope and dream just makes me so emotional. She is so fucking good for him, i can’t believe it.
Oh yeah, and as much as I love Akgün and Selim living together, I am so excited to see Akgün and Soner as roommates!! I adore their friendship so so much. Seeing how concerned Soner was for Akgün and seeing him constantly watch over him was so nice. And I loved Naz and Soner’s kiss it was so sweet. I saw a comment somewhere about how Soner did what it took Akgün 13 episodes to do lmaooooo honestly Soner made his mooooove!!
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horansqueen · 5 years ago
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You & Me : chapter 2
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: 1- haha syke (sort of lol)! 2-thats why i asked this question, now you know!
yes, thats the only notes you need lol! oh and FEEDBACK PLEASE! :) please tell me how you think their coffee “date” will go?? would mean a lot!
Chapter 2 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
"Honey! I'm home!" I yelled as I walked inside, closing the door behind me and throwing my purse on the couch.
"Kitchen, babe!"
I followed the voice with a small smile and leaned against the door frame as I watched him bend down to take something off the oven. I crossed my arms and stared at him, trying to suppress a chuckle. With a quick head movement, he pushed a lock of his hair out of his face and raised his eyebrows at me with a smirk. I moved closer to him, taking a few steps slowly as he put the cookies he had just not burned for once in a plate.
"You know your son is way too young for cookies, right?"
His eyes became smaller as he looked at me and it made me laugh even more.
"I made them for you, silly!"
"Louis, come on." I pointed out with a frown. "I just spent two hours tasting wedding cakes and you think i'm in the mood for cookies?"
With a grimace, he grabbed two cookies and put one in front of me before sitting next to me at the table. I made the cookie turn around as I stared at it, feeling suddenly a bit nervous. I wasn't really sure I wanted to have this discussion but I told Louis everything. I was surely not going to keep that kind of information from him.
"Okay my queen, talk to me, what happened?"
He slid his arm on the table until his hand reached mine. I let go of the cookie and gripped his fingers tight. His hand was warm, as it always was, but it took me a few seconds to look up in his eyes. When I did, my heart skipped a beat. He was clearly concerned and worried and I just shrugged a shoulder before looking down again.
"I saw Niall."
Suddenly, the grip of his fingers became tighter and I held my breath. Louis and I had been through so much together during the past year and I was scared this would somehow change the dynamic we had. I knew he kept talking with Niall from time to time but it was far from being the way it used to be between them. I never asked Louis to choose between us, and I never even made allusions to it for the simple reason that they were friends before we were and I knew he still considered Niall like a brother. Who was I anyway to decide who Louis could and couldn't hang out with?
That being said, Louis and I had worked on ourselves individually a lot. We both went to therapy, tried to follow our dreams, found love and learned to accept ourselves as full human beings. We didn't need love to be complete and we didn't need our soulmates either. Of course, it didn't feel so easy when Niall was close but if I wanted to be honest, I thought it would hurt a lot more to see him again.
"He was with his girlfriend?"
"No." I replied with a shrug before adding a 'thank god' in my head.
"How did that make you feel?"
I took a few seconds to think and finally looked up, my eyes meeting his as a small smile spread across my lips.
"It's... Niall, you know? I'll always feel something when he's around. That's what you said, right? Soulmates and all that?" He nodded slowly and I shrugged a shoulder. "I mean, I will love him forever but... he broke me, and I don't want to let him break me again."
Louis' face change and he sent me a sincere smile before nodding quickly this time. He squeezed my fingers and tapped my thigh a few times a bit too roughly.
"Ow!"
"That's my queen!"
He got up and kissed the top of my head, making me roll my eyes but chuckle. He walked to the fridge and took a beer out before opening it and throwing the cap in the sink. I stared again at the cookie on the table and swallowed, playing over and over the encounter I had with Niall in my head. He looked good and happy and I couldn't help but think that he never regretted his decision to break up with me. Of course, it took him a few months to get a new girlfriend but when he did, something inside of me died. I remembered exactly when I found out he was dating someone and it was probably the biggest slap in the face I had ever had. I cried for a week, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. All I could think about was how his love for me, if it ever existed, was clearly not strong enough but even worse, he didn't even try to keep my friendship.
"You're thinking about him, aren't you?"
I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds as I tried to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace. I couldn't hide anything to Louis, even if I wanted.
"Not so much him but what I meant for him."
Louis walked back next to me and crouched down, one of his knees on the floor and his hand on my thigh. He waited until our eyes met and he raised his eyebrows.
"We've been through that, remember?" Louis pointed out in a soft tone. "He was scared to be trapped and he let go of the most important person in his life. You were not the problem, Liv."
"He's with someone now." I just said, shaking me head, after letting out a long sigh. "And with her too I mean, he replaced me with her."
Louis nodded very slowly, pressing his lips together and making the left corner of my lips raise up.
"Yes, besides you, my friend Neil has very bad tastes in women."
It was not true at all but I appreciated the lie and I tilted my head to stare at Louis. I had moved back to my apartment after Niall broke up with me and Louis was the one who had picked my stuff at Niall's for me. We hung out together and he's the one who pushed me to write what I wanted to write. My father agreed to make a special section for my story on his site and within a few hours, there were more views than any other page of the site. I found someone to play the male character and I gave myself the role of the female one until I got the e-mail that literally changed my life.
Netflix. I barely believed it and I had to read the e-mail twice but it turned out to be real and after some negotiation, my tv show was about to be re-made with a bigger budget and real actors and this time, it was going to be seen by way more people. I didn't have to insist to keep playing in it, they quickly agreed to that term of the contract and it surprised me. Apparently, I was not so bad of an actress, who would have known? That's why I moved to L.A. with Louis : to live a dream I wasn't even aware I had before, when I was dating Niall. There are so many things I didn't know when I was with him, including who I was. Now, it was different.
"So." Louis continued, getting up to grab his beer again. "Did you girls go with Liam's request and pick chocolate?"
I raised my eyebrows in amusement and my lips parted a bit as we stared at each other.
"How do you know that?"
Louis' smile turned into a smirk. "He asked me and I said I wanted chocolate too! So I said he should harass Julie and he said I should harass you. So I had to challenge him, and he lost."
My face twisted and I frowned, suddenly a bit scared.
"What was the challenge?"
"Oh, darling, you don't want to know." his accent had turned thicker and his smirk bigger, making me shake my head. "Trust me."
"You're right, I don't want to know."
He laughed a bit and moved his chin in my direction as he leaned against the counter, his beer still in hand. He took the last sip and put it away before swallowing and licking his lips. I loved Louis. I really, really loved Louis.
"So? Chocolate?"
I grimaced and sent him an offended look as I shook my head again.
"It's like you don't even know me!"
"What did you pick then?"
I didn't have time to answer. My lips just parted a bit before we both heard the doorbell. I jumped on my feet and we both rushed to the living room to reach the front door.
"Me!" I yelled as I tried to be faster than him.
"Oh please, it's clearly for me!"
I laughed as he pushed my hips with his and even more when both our hands ended up on the knob, twisting it at the same time without opening the door. We laughed and when the door finally opened wide, my smile grew.
"So, who won this time?"
I forgot the game I had with Louis and barely even heard my boyfriend's question. I just tilted my head and bit my bottom lip. He looked pretty and the way he smiled always got to me. Louis let him walk in and he just opened his arms, bending down slightly to wrap them around my waist and pull me up. I laughed like a school girl and looked down at him, bringing my lips against his.
"Clearly, I won." I whispered only for him to hear, licking my lips before kissing him again.
He chuckled against my mouth and finally put me down but I kept him close and deepened the kiss. The fact that we were still acting like new lovers was nice and I hoped it would never stop.
After moving here, we were about to cast auditions for the other characters but I was mostly nervous about the male lead since I was going to do most scenes with him and even kiss him. I was allowed to have a say in who they would pick but before we could even start the auditions, I received a message on twitter. My account was not private anymore and was even verified, which was something I never thought would ever be possible. I was not the kind of person who liked attention but it was still important for me to remain on social medias, even if I wasn't online as much as other people.
Most of the messages I was tagged in were about Niall and I couldn't blame his fans who asked about me but it was surprising to see it even after so long. At first, the tweets about some of them being 'devastated' by our break-ups made me cry but now I just felt nostalgic of what I once had with him. One time, though, I got a notification that I was tagged in a post and when I clicked on it, I choked on my coffee. Dylan O'Brien. Dylan fucking O'Brien had tagged me and had added 'would love to play in your show!'
After a few days of chatting online, we had finally decided to talk on the phone and I realized he was the funniest and sweetest guy in the world. It's only really the very first time I met him that I realized I had it bad, though. He came to the audition but in my head, the part was already his, and when our eyes met, I felt it inside of me. It could have been just me being starstruck but when he had smiled at me, my heart had fluttered in a way it hadn't since... since Niall.
"You two get a fuckin' room." Louis let out, but I could hear amusement in his voice.
I turned to him and he sent me a smirk just as I showed him my middle finger.
"I live here too, remember?" I asked jokingly.
The plan when we moved here was to buy a house together, support each other and spend as much time as we could with each other. Did Louis and I ever had sex after that infamous night? Maybe, but quickly, we had both stopped needing it. Not because we weren't in pain anymore, but because we had other distractions and other things to focus on. I hadn't received my first check yet but it was coming and I knew it. I couldn't wait to give some of my money to Louis for the house but only as a rent. He was keeping the house to live in it with his girlfriend while I had planned to move with Dylan very soon. Everything was falling into place, and just as I thought my life was exactly the way it was supposed to be, I saw Niall again.
"Yea well you two lovebirds will have the house for yourself tonight." Louis explained, grabbing his wallet from the coffee table and looking for his keys. "I'll be gone all night."
"Say hello to Eleanor for me!"
Louis sent me a smirk and a wink before walking up to us and bending down to kiss my cheek.
"Will do." he promised in a low tone. "Goodnight queen."
A few months earlier, I had heard Louis cry himself to sleep at night. It was not something unusual, I knew it happened from time to time since his mother had passed away, but I remember leaning against the wall of his room for half an hour, listening to him cry and crying with him. If he had wanted me to be there with him, he would have asked, I knew it, that's why I didn't knock or tried to talk to him, but at the same time, it was hard to handle, and I couldn't pretend I knew him as much as Eleanor did. He was also crying for her, I was well aware of that, and on that night, I had messaged her. I didn't have to beg her to come over, she just did. She literally took a fucking plane to come here and comfort him. If that's not love then I have no idea what is.
"Goodnight, pet."
Louis raised his eyebrows and pointed his finger at me. "Don't call me that, ever, remember?"
I just shrugged and laughed, feeling Dylan's hand grab my fingers gently as he chuckled too. He suddenly turned to me and raised his eyebrows.
"Oh hey, you were trying out wedding cakes today, how did it go?"
"She didn't pick chocolate mate, don't even bother." Louis grimaced, making Dylan smile more.
"Of course she didn't, i'd say..." he turned to me and his eyes got smaller as he pondered. "She hesitated and almost picked raspberry but ended up choosing.. strawberry and cream."
My lips curled and I shook my head. "How do you know me so well?"
"O'Brien, I hate you." Louis just said, slapping gently my boyfriend's chest. "Thanks for making sound like a loser."
"You're welcome!" Dylan joked as I rolled my eyes at their interaction.
I waited as Louis typed something on his phone and he finally looked up at us and smiled before leaving. As soon as the door closed behind him, I received a text message and walked up to my purse to look at it.
'Tell him!!!!' Louis had typed with clearly too many exclamation points.
I just sent him a thumb up and when I went back, I felt my lips curl very slightly at the sight of the emoji Niall sent me. It was good seeing him, it felt amazing to be near him. It was so hard to realize that my best friend was not my best friend anymore, and although I knew that life is just like that sometimes, it still hurt. This year away from each other was needed, at least for me, to find myself, but I always thought Niall would remain in my life forever.
"So strawberries and cream uhm?" Dylan said to catch my attention. "I can live with that."
I threw my phone on the couch and sighed with a smile, turning his way. I grabbed the front of his shirt and finally looked up in his eyes, licking my lips as his hands reached my waist.
"Can you live with me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and making him chuckle low.
"Damn right I can."
He pulled me closer and kissed me, making my heart skip a beat. I had never compared Dylan to Niall but at that exact moment, I couldn't help myself. They were both smart, kind and funny, the main difference being that Dylan hadn't shattered my heart in pieces, at least not yet. The way they kissed was different too. Niall kissed me passionately, impatiently and deeply. Dylan kissed me gently, like I was something fragile, something important he didn't want to break, or simply because he wanted to take his time and feel every second of it. He kissed me like every kiss actually meant way more than we both thought.
I felt him deepen the kiss and my heart jumped again. I couldn't do anything with him before telling him about my day, and all I could see behind my eyelids was Louis' text message.
"Mm, I have something to tell you." I whispered against his lip, making him pull away immediately.
He stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes roaming on my face, and I suddenly felt extremely nervous. He was never the jealous type but I don't think anyone could enjoy their lover meeting again with their ex, especially knowing Niall and I's history.
"What's wrong, babe?"
"Nothing's wrong, no, don't worry." It wasn't a lie. I sent him a small smile and shrugged. "I just wanted you to know that... I saw Niall, today."
His eyebrows raised slightly but fell back down half a second later. He stared down at me, mostly trying to decipher how i felt about it instead to react to it, and it made something in my heart stir. He was perfect and I loved him, I really did.
"Are you okay?" he finally asked  gently after about a minute of silence. "How did it go?"
"It went... well." I admitted, nodding slowly and glancing down before looking up in his eyes. "He asked if we could meet again for a coffee but I didn't message him yet. I'm just not sure if I should go."
Dylan's lips curled slightly just as his eyebrows raised. "Not because of me, yea?"
I shrugged both shoulders, feeling suddenly embarrassed. One of the reasons why I was not sure was him, but an other part of me, a part I didn't want to show, was simply scared. I was scared that things wouldn't be like they used to be, I was scared that we wouldn't really get along, I was scared that the old me would resurface and I was scared... I was scared of the feelings I could have again if I spent time with him.
"You can go see him, Liv." he let out softly, bringing one of his hands to my face to caress my cheek with his fingertips. "Not that you were waiting for my approval or that you need it but, I know there's so many things you want to tell him and ask him and... it's normal. I can't even begin to understand the relationship you two had, all I know is... it was intense. There's some part of you that will always love him and I'm fine with that. Just... go. And you'll see."
Slowly, my lips curled as I stared at him. I brought my hand to his hair and slipped my fingers in it before sighing. I felt suddenly lighter and I was not sure why. Perhaps knowing that my boyfriend was fine with it helped.
I mouthed a 'thank you' and he smiled more, shaking his head.
"There's no reason to thank me." he just said, pulling me closer and kissing my lips. "I love you, Olivia."
I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, inhaling him before squeezing him tighter against me. It felt good and I felt safe but I finally pulled away and smiled.
"Okay so food and a movie?" he proposed, raising his eyebrows before I grimaced.
"Oh I wish, I mean food, but i'm gonna have to eat in front of my computer." I explained with a sigh, letting my head fall lightly on my shoulders. "I need to write and my mind is lazy these days."
"Why don't you inspire yourself of what we're going through right now?"
I stared at him and raised my eyebrows at the idea before Dylan just chuckled and winked at me. I knew that to write something good, it had to be close to something I was living, but playing it on screen was about to be a challenge if I did that.
"I'll make food you just... work."
I thanked him and grabbed my phone before sitting in front of my computer. I started typing a few ideas here and there but the truth was, I couldn't stop thinking about Niall. Dylan was right, there were many things I wanted to tell him, many things I wanted to ask. but at the same time, I was well aware that I wouldn't be able to let it out all at the same time. I also knew we had to be in a public place, if only to be sure I wouldn't end up yelling or in tears.
'Coffee tomorrow afternoon, are you free? 🤪’
I didn't want to let Niall make me emotional the way I used to be when we were dating, or even before. He always had so much power over me and I didn't want him to anymore. I didn't want anyone to have to much power over me.
'Always free for you 🥰’
The emoji he picked made my lips curl and I quickly texted him a time and place before putting my phone away. I stared at my work on the screen and sighed to myself. I didn't really want to add Niall to my story, I was too scared of how realistic it would become, since my real boyfriend was already playing my on-screen boyfriend, and I decided to push this idea away.
Dylan came back with a plate of pastas and it made me wonder how long I had spent in front of an almost empty document. He sat to face me and my eyes moved up to him.
"I'm stuck."
"Did you message Niall? Are you gonna see him soon?"
I felt my heart skip a beat at his question but he kept staring at me as he brought the fork to his mouth. The fact that it was super casual for him made me squirm a bit on my seat. Was that a good or a bad thing?
"Yea, tomorrow afternoon."
"Good." he nodded, pushing the plate my way. I sent him a smile and started eating too. "Maybe it'll inspire you."
His eyebrows raised and he chuckled when some sauce landed on my shirt and I quickly tried to wipe it off, making him laugh even more.
"Guess you're gonna have to take it off." he just pointed out.
I looked up at him only to see a smirk gracing his face and I chuckled too, tilting my head. I pushed my plate away and leaned closer to him, sending him an amused smile and keeping my voice low.
"Maybe you should take it off yourself."
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kaypeace21 · 6 years ago
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Will created the Mindflayer (Theory revisited)
After, watching all 3 seasons I believe the upside down/mindflayer is not only an allegory for Will and El’s (cannon) ptsd/ and trauma but also (because of their powers), has become a physical manifestation (with a life of it’s own). I previously talked about how El made the upside down/demorgorgans and how Will created the mindflayer and demodogs (before s3). However I wanted to add more details to this analysis and  focus on how the Mindflayer represented Will’s darker emotions and thoughts in s3 . So let’s get started.
The original title for Stranger things was “Montauk”- in reference to the Montauk Project. It was about experiments conducted on psychic children, where the scientists would “break” them psychologically to strengthen their powers and to program them.  In one of the stories there was a boy named Duncan who could “open portals to other dimensions and periods of time” . However, one day “Duncan let loose a monster from his subconscious.” 
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This is where Stranger Things comes in... El, opened the portal and created the demorgorgans, which represented El’s fears. Joyce and Nancy called the demorgorgan  a “man without a face”, or as El called them repeatedly “the bad men.” The bad men kill (using guns),  while the demorgans are attracted to blood. However, the one time they went after someone who wasn’t bleeding- was when it chased after Will, another psychic child. Brenner even says about the demorgorgan “it’s calling to you for a reason”. And right before El goes to the sensory deprivation tank, Brenner gives her flowers (resembling the opened face of the demorgorgan which resembles a flower). In the Stranger things novel, Suspicious Minds, a psychic character named Alice, even says “ “Monsters...of course my brain has them.” As long as they stayed in there, everything would be all right. “Wouldn’t it?”
The upside down/ opening of the gate/demorgorgan is even described as something that  grows and spreads, “like a cancer”. And something that will eventually kill her, if not confronted (and analogy to suicidal thoughts?)
In s1 Dusting even asks, Eleven “Do you have cancer?” In a literal sense no, but the buzzcut ( which makes people assume she has cancer) represents the abuse she’s been through. And if she doesn’t confront her trauma it will slowly eat away at her until it kills her .  Or the physical manifestation of it will.
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The name El is the name of a Canaanite God, which means “god of creation.” When El said in s1 “I’m the monster”, only for Mike to correct her and disagree. In a way they’re both right, it’s not her who is in control. But the monsters (who has a life of its own) represents her darker emotions and fears and is affected by her feelings- and this is why they were mirrored to each other visually.
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So the fact that the Mindflayer shows up for the first time when Will is experiencing his “anniversary effect” relating to his ptsd, may not be a coincidence. Don’t you find it strange when Will’s dog died between s1-2, the demorgorgans become demo-dogs?  And once again,  the vines ( put inside Will in s1) and the shadow monster/Mindflayer - are also described as spreading, and we are told that it will kill Will. Will even says “ the more he spreads the more connected to him I feel.” And if I’m right about Will becoming number 12, it’s interesting to point out that 12 is a numeral symbol for “God of creation”, as well.
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The other Drs/scientists are extremely callous and say they need to continue the burn (even if it kills Will). However, Dr Owens even says after this “You’re putting a bandaid on this.”  Meaning they aren’t addressing the real problem- Will & El’s trauma.
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if I’m right- this also implies Will was m***sted as a kid (probably by Lonnie), who always called him homophobic slurs. The demorogorgan represented ‘Brenner/ the bad-men’ to El. And the Mindflayer initially represented Lonnie, to Will . Will is even the first to call the Mindflayer a “he”, instead of an it- even though in d&d cannon Mindflayers are “sexless hermaphodites”. 
Also,Will doesn’t initially call the Mindflayer a “he” but an “it”.And if you only take out certain pieces of dialogue between Joyce and Will, when they first talk  about the mind flayer, where they only refer to it as an ‘it’ … and if you put  [‘he/him’] pronouns there instead… then the rest of the discussion about the mind flayer literally sounds… questionable.
Will: “It all just went blank and then you were there”
Joyce: “Will I need you to tell me the truth.”
Will: “I am!”
Joyce: “But …  But I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. So you have to talk to me. Please. No more secrets, okay? Okay.”
Will: “ [*It] came for me and … and  I tried… I tried to make [*it] go away … but [*it] got me mom”.        (*he, * him,* he)
Joyce: What does that mean?”
Will: “I felt [*it] everywhere. everywhere. I- I still feel [*it]. I just want this to be over!”         (*him, *him)
Joyce: “LOOK AT ME! I Will never let anything bad happen to you ever again!”
And I’m not sure how seriously I should take the cannon spotify playlists. But, the cannon spotify character playlists  (which netflix and spotify worked on and published together after s2) alluded to this on both Jonathan and Will’s playlists. And the only songs about their dads hint at this fact.
Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling lies.”
Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of liars and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”
Will’s playlist- Creature comfort: “Some boys hate themselves spend their lives resenting their fathers…Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch... look in the mirror and wait for the feedback”
And if the vines and the shadow monster represent his dad  the fact it enters violently through his mouth,  and the way he describes the Mf first possessing him further reinforces this analogy. Especially since Billy/MF lays on top of his victims, and  right before the monster puts a similar thing in their mouths says (To Heather) “Don’t be afraid. It’ll all be over soon. Just stay very still”, and (to El) “Don’t be afraid . It’ll all be over soon. Just try and stay... very still.” (May indicate Will might have have heard his dad say this  to him, and thats why the Mf says it to his victims.)
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The entry of the vine, even causes him to spit out a slug, as he looks back in the mirror (like in the song lyric).
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The experience of the vine/slug probably brought back traumatic memories, not to mention his time in the upside down invented new ones. The mindflayer first appears during Will’s ptsd “anniversary effect”. And in s2 when Joyce asked about the mindflayer drawing, Will  lies saying it’s for a story he’s writing . But maybe, unbeknownst to him... it wasn’t actually a lie ? The 1st time Will senses the Mf again in s3, is when he’s watching a movie about zombies (on a ‘date’ with Mike). And in s3, the monster the Mf creates is based “the thing” ( by  merging zombies bodies together)... and we see Will writing the d&d story right next to this ‘The Thing’ poster. The light at it’s head, indicating this whole story may be Will’s idea all along. 
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So ‘the thing’, the zombies, defeating it with fire were all referenced to Will- and later showed to unfold in the Mf’s story. And even though d&d always foreshadows later events in the season,  I find it interesting that the one time in the series we see Will write the d&d story... is when it matches MF’s plans. The shadow monster stayed in the real world, after the gate closed (and didn’t do anything for 6 months)? And specifically choses to attack/possess a guy named William who also was abused by his dad and called homophobic slurs (internalized hate perhaps)? And don’t you find it strange that the shadow monster only decides to come out now, in the summer (despite it not liking hot temperatures) when Will is at his lowest point emotionally? Well, it’s because the MF is based on Will’s darker emotions and thoughts.
 S3 was the season that Will was feeling jealous over mileven, and probably coming more to terms with his sexuality -  and this is when the mindflayer/shadow monster decides to strike. Whenever the Mf is close and Will touches his neck relates to his romantic feelings for Mike. 1st time it’s on one of their ‘movie dates’, 2nd time when Mike and El walk off together down the hill, 3rd time right after he smashed castle byers after Mike says “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, 4th time when Mike asks him to go away so he can talk to El in the hospital waiting area, and 5th time when Mike says El loves El. 
And again it’s when Will smashes castle Byers that Will first says “He’s back”. Castle byers was built on a rainy night , the same day Will’s  dad left, when Will was 5 (the same age he met Mike). And lonnie called him a “queer” and a “f*g” and forced him to do “normal things” like baseball to have him “be more of a man”. And then on a rainy night, after Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”… what does Will destroy castle byers with? A bat. 
Will drew up castle byers before creating it in the real world.  And the fact Will has a baseball bat (despite not liking baseball) in Castle Byers, surrounded by things he loves: drawings, d&d, art supplies, a microscope, comics- just shows what an impact Lonnie’s problematic conditioning and abandonment had on him. He used a baseball bat to destroy something he loves -castle Byers, and symbolically he was trying to reject his feelings for Mike using Lonnie’s old tactics of fixing him. So regardless of what Lonnie did or didn’t do, the correlation between the MF and Lonnie is there. He smashes up castle Byers with a bat (thinking of Lonnie) and then he feels “more connected to him (the Mf)” again, and says ‘he (the Mf) is back’.
The reason we didn’t get Willel, was for a narrative reason. We are shown that Max and El don’t know each other. It’s implied that El almost never leaves the house and just spends her time kissing Mike. So Will never got to have the opportunity to get to know her either. And for Will his resentment of El isn’t simply based on the fact he loves Mike. He insults El calling her a “stupid-girl” just like how Robin said she hated Steve and his “stupid-hair” because the girl she liked , liked him- and of course a lot of that redirected hate isn’t mere jealousy, but projected internalized homophobia. I don’t think a straight person could ever really understand how much hate queer people initially have for themselves when initially figuring things out- so his redirected anger is more than simple jealousy, but just hate for himself. He even looks at a picture of Mike after this and says “so stupid”,  4 times , while at castle Byers.
But honestly, that’s nothing compared to the hate he has/ how he blames her for ruining his life! El might have saved him twice (and it might of been an accident/ dr Brenner who’s really to blame). But Will knows she opened the gate . So to him, he spent a week in a place with no sunlight, food, or breathable air , having to experience that vine, dying, getting ptsd, being ostracized by everyone at school and being called “zombie boy” and a “freak”- being possessed by the MF, getting burned alive, killing Bob (the closest thing to a real father figure) and all those men (making him a murderer), and strangling his mom.Because of her!
And then that’s when s3 starts to make a lot more sense. Will might not want anything bad to actually happen to El but he’s probably had these dark thoughts before.  Will even says about the MF.
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He says the real Mf is still in the upside down, but ‘the part that was still in him... was still in their world.’ And it flashes to El’s face as he says it. Essentially the Mf is motivated by his fictionalized story, thoughts/memories of Lonnie, and any dark intrusive thought Will has ever had about El , much to Will’s horror. 
He said in s3 that “I’m not worried about me, mom. I’m worried about you.” So the fact that he strangled her and almost killed her in s2, probably haunts him to this day- and he might of thought, ‘wish I strangled her instead’. And who does Billy/Mf look at right before grabbing her throat, and who is the first reaction shot we see when he starts choking her - Will’s horrified expression!
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Maybe the Mf thought El was the most important, and that Will was nothing ( despite all the foreshadowing indicating the Mf held special intentions for Will), because he feels like he’s nothing compared to El? Will even says in s2 it wanted to kill everyone, but him, but now it’s saying that to El only? Maybe because Will wanted her to experience having such an entity say it to her too, and experience the same fear and isolation it caused him? In s2, why did the Mf chase Will and possess him at the school, when El (at the same time) was at the school as well (if it was always after her)? It’s because the Mf’s motivations are linked to Will’s feelings/emotions.
He probably also thought, how would you like a slug crawling/invading your body, huh?And although it doesn’t go to her mouth (probably because he could never wish that on anyone- if it symbolizes what I think it does). She still has a similar experience. And everyone is worried/horrified but Will is the only one sobbing (probably because he thought of this happening to her before).
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After this he doesn’t even help move the car, he just stays glued at El’s side as if trying to protect her. And interestingly, this is when El loses her powers. Will may have even thought. If she never had her powers, none of this would have ever happened! Or ‘you guys wouldn’t think she’s so great without her powers.” So did Will accidentally steal her powers?!!!! Maybe. Will has always been associated with bears (along with 3 other animal symbols that El also has).  We see a zoom in shot of Will’s bear drawing right before the demorgorgan takes him from the upside down version of castle byers in s1. Bears symbolically represent  “wisdom” like ‘Will the wise’ and were associated with the demorgorgan/upside down in s1 and 2 as well . Max and Nancy both compared demorrgorgans to bears- and Nancy and Jonathan used a bear-trap to capture the demorgorgan in s1. So when El tries to grab Will’s teddy bear (it was shown to be his in s1) with her powers. And Mike says “they’ll come back”. They might actually come back, because Will and EL’s relationship improves. Mike even tried to give El a golden bear as a gift (so maybe that signifies the giving back of her powers in s4 ?)
Will was always hinted to have powers from the very beginning, so it would be incredibly stupid to just drop this plot point, despite all the foreshadowing. In the 1st episode, Will wins Dustin’s xmen comic in a bet- and Dustin later asks the gang “Do you think Eleven was born with powers like the xmen?” And also before he was sent to the upside down his password for Castle Byers was ‘Rhadagast’ a wizard character from Lord of the Rings. And in the ST prequel novel “Suspicious Minds”  the adult psychics were referenced to both the xmen and lord of the Rings characters. And in the comic, he keeps on saying ‘what would Will- the Wise do’ (his d&d wizard character). Also Dustin straight up called El a “wizard” in the last ep of s1, at Will’s bedside. Not to mention Mike in s2 called Will a “cleric” - and clerics get their powers from a god (cough the mindflayer), and in d&d the wiser the cleric the more powerful they are. And Will’s nickname is ‘Will the wise’? The fact that Will in s1 drew his character with lightning and fire powers- and the fact he barbecued 2 phones in s1 (just like El did to the radio at the school). In s1 was said he could “shadow walk” a wizard d&d power.  The fact he could control lights and manipulate electronics to communicate to his mom from another dimension (and in s1 only El could do that). The fact he literally created a portal through the wall of his house (just like El did at the school in s2). And just the many other hints in s1! The fact that he drew himself in s2 with a crystal ball (which is associated with the powers of scrying and clairvoyance) before being possessed, but just so happen to have those abilities in s2. Dustin also said the only way to defeat the MF is an undead army and Will’s nickname is “zombie boy”. So frankly, his fight with the MF (who is still in the upside down) may not be over. And that new demorgagan in Russia might be a symbol of El’s grief over Hopper’s (perceived) death.
This would honestly, be the only explanation that would allow me to forgive the Duffers . Like you can steal this idea from me! Please! XD
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penebui · 5 years ago
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Lgbt manga pt.1
If you had to put up with my sorry ass for a few years then yes you know that I have been searching for lgbt mangas!! I put up with the pain of going through most genres that sexualize/fetishize gender identities and sexualities (like yaoi and gender bender) and reading mangas to find if they have lgbt content so you dont have to suffer the pain of trying to! Clown on this post and please face my wrath
Keep in mind that these aren’t in order of ratings!! Its just a list. I also give summaries of the plot, the things that make it lgbt, and some content warnings!! 
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1. Welcome to Room #305! by Wanan 
Kim Jung Hyun moves into an apartment (room #305) with a friend of a friend, named Kim Homo! Who (you guessed it) is gay! As Jung Hyung begins to live with Kim Homo, he slowly learns to accept him for his sexuality. Once he overcomes his homophobia and completely accepts him for who he is, other lgbt characters pop in too!! They all have their struggles with their identities, and it is very realistic, but the art style helps keep all that angst at bay! As far as english translations go, we have several lesbian characters, and a trans guy. You can read the english translation on several manga sites, but if you want the link to the original since this is a webcomic, here’s the [link]! Unfortunately english updates are very slow since translation teams have other projects, and legal companies who translate take their sweet precious time. 
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2. Bokura no Hentai by Fumiko Fumi
The title might seem misleading, however it can be translated as “Our Transformation”! Buckle up buttercup cause this manga will fuck you over emotionally. Three crossdressers meet up after being in a crossdressing group, with different reasons as to why they crossdress. Parou crossdresses to fall in love with a straight guy, Marika is actually a trans woman, and Yui crossdresses as his dead sister to “help” his mother with her grieving. There are some other characters who don’t fit within the gender norms! 
Now let me tell you if you are dealing with some trauma and can’t handle very sensitive topics, this manga might not be the one for you. Although it isnt just homophobia and transphobia, it also contains content of sexual harrassment, pedophilia, and suicide. However these topics are not glorified or sexualized. They are trauma of some of the characters and they must learn how to overcome from it individually. However, there is a happy ending for them!! Please let that be known! I enjoyed reading it if sobbing your heart out counts as enjoying it, because it has indeed pulled my heart strings (although I am not a trans woman, I am a trans guy and I can identify with only some of the things Marika goes through, as trans women go through different experiences than trans men and have it harder on them.) 
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3. Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son) by Takako Shimura
This manga is one of the most well known mangas realistically depicting trans identity. It became popular when an anime adaptation came out! However the anime adaptation only covers the middle school part of our protagonists lives, however it encourages you to read the manga to find out what happens to them and their life! We have two protagonists. Shuichi who identifies as a girl, and Yoshino who identifies as a boy. Shuichi is the primary protagonist while Yoshino serves as a secondary protagonist. 
This manga also realistically depicts how hard it is for transfeminine people to come out and be themselves while transmasculine people seem to have it easier (dont clown on this dear fuck). We have lesbian, gay, and genderfluid characters galore! Although they do have some touchy topics like transmisogyny and transphobia in general, it is less heavier than Bokura no Hentai.  
Some people might not like the outcome of this story when it comes to Yoshino, however I am content with it because it shows that people should be able to explore their gender identity, and they are welcome to change it anytime as they see fit. Sometimes you won’t figure out your identity if you don’t explore. 
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4. Shimanami Tasagore / Our Dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani
Also one of the more well known ones, the mangaka of this beautiful story is X-gender and asexual! It follows the protagonist, Tasuku is contemplating suicide as rumors circulate that he is gay at his highschool (he is). He sees a woman jumping off a building nearby and runs to her aid. Her name is Anonymous/Somebody and she sees herself is asexual but other than that she does not like labels, she invites Tasuku inside the building she just jumped off, which contains a group of exclusively lgbt characters. 
We have both trans, lesbian, and gay people. We see their struggles. We see how they overcome it. We see how even we ourselves can harm others even if we’re both lgbt. Of course there is homohpobia, transphobia, etc. however it is all handled perfectly and we get the satisfaction of these characters speaking up for either themselves or for each other. I also love Anonymous simply because she doesn’t like labels and chooses not to use them (excluding the asexual part). Not everyone whos part of the lgbt community has a label, however they are still a part of us! 
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5. Fukakai na boku no subete o (Fukaboku)/ Love me for who I am by Konayama Kata
Fukaboku is a very special manga to me, as it goes in depth on gender identity and sexuality. There are two protagonists, Tetsu who is a cis guy and supposedly straight (we later find out that he is not), and Mogumo, who is both intersex and nonbinary. 
Tetsu works as a chef at Question Cafe, and everyone employed in fanlations are called girlyboys, however in the official translation they use otokonoko which is anyone crossdressing as a girl regardless of their gender. There are plenty of transwomen, gay people, etc.! Tetsu falls in love with Mogumo, so he isn’t straight, however he isn’t explicitly gay because he recognizes Mogumo as what they identify as, nonbinary. It is safe to say that he could either be pan, bi, omni, etc. however we can’t confirm since it hasn’t been explicitly stated.
We learn how transfeminine people have certain struggles, like shoes that dont fit them, breasts, and voice feminization. We also have a dose of family struggles when it comes to Mogumo in later/current chapters. 
Before you dm me, yes. Yes I know about the shit prequel. The prequel actually features a gay couple in fukaboku. I have read it. Reluctantly even if it was only 24 pages. However just because the prequel is shit does not mean we should cancel Fukaboku. There is a thing called being critical of the content you’re enjoying. If we treated it like cancel y because of x, then things like persona 4 and danganronpa would be cancelled, but lets not get into that. 
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6. Kanojo ni Naritai Kimi to Boku by Umi Takase
I haven’t heard of this one as much as I have the others, so I was very much pleased when I heard about this! There are two protagonist (yes there are a lot of lgbt mangas with two protags I’ve noticed too), Hime and Akira. Hime has a crush on Akira, who identifies as a girl. However this manga is also realistic, as Akira doesn’t fully ‘pass’ as a girl herself. Hime wants to do anything she can to help Akira feel comfortable on her first day of school wearing a girl’s uniform. Because of Akira being made fun of, Hime shows up to school in Akira’s male uniform to help Akira in solidarity. 
Their teachers are fully aware of Akira’s situation, however instead of discriminating her they accept her. Their homeroom teacher helps Hime overcome her internal problem about lashing out at others who try to befriend Akira, and she slowly realizes that just because people can’t accept Akira straight away, they will slowly get used to her and come to terms with the fact that Akira is trans in their own time rather than have it being forced on them.
Hime and Akira make friends slowly and we see that even little things (like calling Akira cute and/or a girl) helps Akira, even if theyre small things we dont usually notice. Hime also struggles with her crush as she sees Akira as a girl, yet she cant accept the fact that shes attracted to girls. 
Although Akira doesnt feel the same way as Hime does, she doesnt just like her as a friend, but also not as a lover either. Its safe to say that these two have a quasiplatonic relationship with each other. 
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7. Yuzu no Koto by Arai Shou
I have noticed that there are plenty of mangas with transfeminine characters as the focus, rather than transmasculine, so heres one for the transmasculines! Ichigo’s best friend Yuzu comes back to school, however he is enrolling as a boy! It is very humorous as Ichigo tries to understand and get used to her best friend’s new identity. Although it is slow as each chapter is a single page, it is hinted that Yuzu has a crush on Ichigo (or if thats just me squinting really hard). 
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8. Ohana Holoholo by Torino Shino 
It is a story about two bi women who are ex-girlfriends, raising one of the women’s baby together as a little family! There is also an idol/actor who helps them out and visits them occassionally! If you want something warming and wholesome, this is the manga for you!! 
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9. My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou
Wako, a woman who works for a publishing company is in a relationship with an androgynous/genderless man! Her boyfriend wears dresses, makeup, and is an instagram model! It is not necessarily treated as crossdressing. It is handled pretty well, and the chemistry between Wako and her boyfriend is very strong. They both love each other so much and help each other with their hobbies and interests. This is what a loving and healthy relationship is supposed to look like!!
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10. Inside Mari by Shuzo Oshimi
It is debatable if this is actually considered lgbt, considered the circumstances, however I put it on this list because it shows how mental illnesses and disorders really feel to the person whos suffering from it. Please read throughout this whole section to understand why. 
Inside Mari is about a man named Isao who stalks this young girl named Mari. He follows her back outside of a little convenience store, but when she turns back and looks at him he wakes up inside her body and doesn’t know how to cope with it. He tries to find Mari while putting on a facade and living as her. He meets a girl named Yori who instantly recognizes that Isao isn’t actually Mari from his mannerisms. This girl has had a crush on Mari, just like Isao. Isao tries to prove to Yori that he switched bodies, and when he goes to his apartment, he finds someone living as him, but it isn’t Mari.
The more we delve into this manga, the more we figure out exactly what happened to Mari and Isao. As Isao and Yori visit and retrace his steps, Isao gets flashbacks to memories of Mari. Isao soon realizes that he isn’t actually the real Isao, but a introject of Isao, and that Mari actually has DID because of childhood trauma. The ending is bittersweet, as Mari comes back but Isao unfortunately becomes dormant/disappears since I don’t think what happened was them merging. 
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11.  Seibetsu  "Mona Lisa" No Kimi He by Yoshimura Tsumuji 
In the world, people can choose what gender they want to be when they’re 12. When they’re 14 their appearance corresponds to their gender. Hinase however, is 18 years old and they still haven’t chosen a gender. They prefer to be neither. However when their two best friends suddenly confess to them, their hormonal development suddenly starts to increase. 
Imagery and symbolism is very clear in this manga!! As we revolve around the color blue/cyan and the debate and interpretations of Mona Lisa’s gender. I’m very hopeful that Hinase will stay as nonbinary rather than choosing a gender, simply because both of their best friends confessed and asked them to become the opposite gender to be with them. It is very much hinted that Hinase will be in a romantic relationship with their male best friend however. I love this manga simply because the protagonist doesn’t want to identify as either male nor female. 
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12. Jun And Kaoru: Pure And Fragrant by Neiki Zui
Jun and Kaoru have a special condition, by midnight they both switch genders. Because they both have this condition, they hang out with each other and help each other with clothing, etc. It should be addressed that these two do not have the “I wish to be a girl/boy” etc. The problem that they have though is their growing crush on each other. They are either genderqueer, or genderfluid, or whatever you prefer since it isn’t directly stated within the manga. They’re not cis or straight! It is a very fun and comedic love story and I wish to see further updates on it!!! 
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13. Sakura-Chan to Amane-Kun by Asazuki Norito 
This story revolves around Sakura who identifies as a girl and Amane who identifies as a boy. Amane spots Sakura dressed as a girl and instantly recognizes her, however instead of belittling her he asks her out on a date, only if she goes as a girl. During school however, they have to pretend to be the gender theyre assigned with while not interacting with each other. 
Since there is a lot more but I dont want to break tumblr, I will be making a part 2 and I’ll post it tomorrow! 
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tgai-spock · 5 years ago
Text
Lines of ice from rolling waves and subtle villains
Silly stomaches on speechless mornings
Chapter 3
His father was up for breakfast the morning Spock came out of his bedroom. They had a large house on vulcan, and a small apartment in the town of  san fransico because of his fathers close work with earth, and because his mother often liked to visit Earth at least 4 times a year. She couldn’t bare the heat a lot, and if she was to go out on vulcan she usually did when the sun was rising or setting. It seemed peculiar to Spock as he often ignored warnings and would walk into the middle of vulcan’s forge during the heat of  the day. Amanda always said she loved vulcan, but she enjoyed spending a week or two occasionally on earth, to explore, visit friends and family, and stock up on her favourite foods or seeds.
Today there was a pit in his stomach that meditation didn’t seem to quell. His new school was not near any vulcan desert that he could sprint into, where people would eventually give up following. What if he wanted to be alone? He needed to be alone. Although meditation didn’t keep the pit away Spock instead reminded himself that he wasn't going to be at school long, as he’d find a way to leave. Whether it was with his parents permission, or without. He put his suitcase by the front door and walked over to the breakfast table of plomeek soup. It was his favourite soup.
“This is an unusual meal to have for breakfast” Sarek commented.
“It’s Spock’s last one, possibly for the year” Amanda said “and I thought he might appreciate it.” Spock nods his head once, he wants to say yes, he wants to say thank you, but he feared that each word he could say in front of his father might not correspond to the strictest set of logic, and this early in the morning was a time well before his rebellious attitude had a chance to wake. Amanda said nothing, put a hand on Spock’s wrist and smiled before going back to her breakfast. After breakfast Sarek removed the bowls from the table and began to wash them.
“Okay it's time to get going” Amanda said standing up and she and Spock moved towards the door.
“Goodbye son” Sarek said not looking up from his washing. Spock put on his shiny silver hat.
“Bye” he said walking out the door.
Amanda walked with him towards the school, she wanted to be with him for as long as possible.
“Why don’t I just live in the flat on earth and live off take out for a whole year?” Spock asked.
“Spock. Are you really going to wear that hat on your first day of school?” Amanda asked.
“I’ve already put it on” Spock said, he was growing very illogical of it.
“If you fancy spending half term in the flat, I could see that, but at least phone and let me know first. You’ll be safe in the school and thats where I want you to stay.” They stopped outside the school where the roads were packed with traffic, hover busses, hover cars and a few ships flying overhead. Amanda dutifully placed a kiss on Spock’s forehead.
“Good luck, and if you run into any trouble, if anyone says anything even slightly to you, phone me right away.” Amanda said. 
“Okay” Spock gave up “what am I to define as mean?”
“Anything that can be describe with the sound ‘phobic’ like xenophic.” Amanda said, both her hands on his shoulders.
“Claustrophobic.” Spock said.
“You’re doing it on purpose now. Go on, I love you,” Amanda said and pushed him off to follow the multiple signs placed around the outside of the school. The signs read ‘this way first years’. Several students of a higher year, wearing lanyards and ‘helper’ tags pointed and pushed the scurrying first years to the far end of the building. Spock was led to towards an area with a number of wooden picnic tables, where trees were growing apples along the side of the building, and a final arrow pointed to a propped open double door, inside of which were a lot of tables and chairs. The last sign read ‘take a seat in here’. Incase he couldn’t read there were more elder years with badges that said ‘prefect’ pointing them into the building.
The first years were all bundled into a huge cafeteria, mixed with square and rectangular tables, with wooden chairs placed around them. At the very end of the room, was a stage, with an empty podium and microphone. People streamed in from every angle, yelling and tumbling. Spock needed to sit at a table. He needed to do it fast, he needed to choose, square or rectangle. His immediate thought was square, but he didn’t want to be stuck sitting next to just 1 or 2 other people. If that happened he might be expected to make conversation, or he’d come off as rude. The more people at the table, the less likely they were to talk to him, right? He found an empty rectangular table that could fit six people along the sides,  and two at the edge if you really wanted to push your luck. He chose a seat along the side, at the edge. He pulled out his phone, and began to chew it, and then immediately stopped. He didn’t know what had compelled him to chew it, but he had caught himself hopefully before anyone else saw. He turned it on and off. He wanted to looked at his phone, but he didn’t want to do anything on it. Someone pulled out the chair at end of the table, which was next to him.
“Hello” they said sitting at the end of the table.
“Hi” Spock said. They had sharp angular features, a rectangular chin with a small dib, large round ears, and brown hair, cut in a shape of a bowl, with several escaping curls. They, also had a sticky label stuck to the centre of their chest which read ‘they/them’ underlined.
“Nice hat” they said.
“Oh.” Spock said, he had completely forgot he was wearing it “thanks. Erm, nice… pronouns.”
“Yah? Pretty neat right? No ones going to misgender me this year if I make it clear from the start, right?”
“That makes sense. I’m Spock, whats your name?” Spock said coming off as far friendlier than he intended.
“I’m” they pursed their lips and squinted.
“I’m? Spock asks wondering if that’s their name.
“Hold on I forgot my name.” They say.
“You forgot your own name?” Spock asked with his eyebrows raised, not that they could be seen beneath his hat.
“I had a dead name, and I chose a better name but lots of kids made fun of me for it, so I thought with this school I’d go in fresh with a new name since it wasn’t legal anyway.”
“Okay” Spock said, what they had said did make sense to him, he just found the concept of forgetting a name, chosen or not to be bizarre.
“You got to help me choose a new one, quick.” They said desperately placing their hands on the table in front of them.
“What?! I am sorry I cannot help you choose a new name. We have only just met” Spock said he really didn’t know what to do now. While this human was attempting friendly conversation, Spock had never had a conversation like this, at all. On vulcan if something was a personal matter, it stayed personal.
“I’m just nervous!” They said in a panic, as two others took a seat on the opposite side of the table. One girl with long blonde hair and a large squashed black mole on her chin, and a boy with spiked blond hair.
“Hey I’m Becky” the girl said with a long drawn out southern accent, and she places a hand on the boy next to her “and this is Jim.”
“Hi” Jim said with a slight tilt of his head and a tiny smile on the corner of his cheek “nice hat.” Was that sarcasm or not? 
“Thanks.”
“Whats your name?” He asks.
“Spock.”
“I’m” they said in a rush to introduce themself “I’m Moriarty?” 
“Moriarty? Thats a neat name” Jim says his eye lighting up.
Moriarty sweated “it sure is.” Spock was uncertain if Moriarty was their chosen name as he still didn’t seem very certain of it. There was still a scuffle going on at the other side of the hall, as though the doors had somehow become blocked and hundreds of people were trying to get indoors.
“Take a seat please” one adult yelled, or possibly a tall prefect. At the the other end near the stage’s podium was a man. His eyes searching the room from left to right, taking note.
“I’m going to start by saying it” Becky said almost yelling to be heard over the rumble of noise made from movement, and someones screaming “I don’t believe in magic, when I told my parents I wanted to go here because they ran a course on magic, I was under the impression they were going to teach me to be a  professional magician.”
“A magician you say? Did you know the first travelling magicians came from russia?” Moriarty asked leaning forwards.
“No. Thats cool.” Becky said.
“Can you do any tricks?”Moriarty asked. Becky took out a pile of her cards and shuffled them.
“Pick a card, and then put it back” she said leaning over to Moriarty. Mortality picked out an ace of spades, showed it to Spock and placed it back. Becky shuffled the cards and pulled out a king.
“Is this your card?” Becky asked.
“No” Moriarty said. Spock frowned his mouth opening slightly. He’d only been here a few moments but he already didn’t know what he was witnessing. Becky shuffled the cards and pulled out the two of hearts.
“What about this?” Becky asked.
“No.” Moriarty said grinning.
“So you agree I need professional training to be a magician?” Becky asked, her eyes reaching across the table to milk the words from him.
“I mean” Moriarty said nodding his head to the side “I guess.”
“Were any of you guys under the false assumption you were going to train to be a magician?” Becky asked “because I can’t be the only one who made that mistake.”
“I was not” Jim said “but, magic’s totally going to be a bonus of this shit-fest, gonna get a real nice kip in that lesson.”
“I didn’t choose magic” Moriarty said “they have really good science courses here, and I wanted to use them to get into starfleet.” Becky gasped and she went to say something but stopped when the man on the stage at the end of the room tapped a microphone.
“Ladies, gentleman, in-betweens and others, please quiet down, it’s time to begin.”
[Chapter 1]         [Chapter 2]       [Chapter 4]
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