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xjulixred45x · 11 months ago

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Rin Okumura x Half Angel! Reader

Request from @birdgirl98

Hi! How’s your weekend going? Could I request Blue Exorcist Rin relationship headcanons with a female half angel half human reader? Please and thank you!

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: Minor Manga Spoilers, some discrimination, Reader is Half angel, Fluff.

Rin was quite shocked when he first met you.

more than anything because he confused you with another Nephelim, due to the...strange aura you had.

Rin even felt threatened by you, by your presence. Maybe bc You were somewhat Holy.

probably his instincts as a son of satan tried to "protect" him from you in a certain way.

but at the same time very intrigued.

apart from the fact that, in general, you were never mean to him, in the least. In fact, quite the opposite. not only with him, but with everyone in the class, no matter how rude they were(ahem hem IZUMO ahem hem), you were always so... bright and friendly.

You honestly already knew that he was the son of Satan even before he said it because of all the demonic power he and the sword gave off, but you didn't want to expose it because you knew how horrible it was to be a victim of that.

While you were growing up there were people who found out about your "holy ancestry" and tried to take advantage of it in multiple ways. if it weren't for your mother.

You got used to having a certain distance from people, although you never stopped being friendly with others.

Apart from the fact that you were also strong, it could be seen with the naked eye. It was that that made him (and most of them) think that you were also the daughter of some demon.

It didn't help that Mephisto constantly tried to get close to you to make "inside" jokes that no one understood.

but in general Rin didn't dare to talk to you, he just felt intimidated at first.

you had to take the first step in this. when you two were assigned a job together.

precisely because you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable after making conversation, asking him about work, things like that.

and Rin began to gain more confidence to address you more naturally later.

Little by little the "intimidating" atmosphere around you dissipated and he was able to start a conversation with you as he normally would with his colleagues.

You realized that he was doing poorly in most subjects, so you started to give him a hand in that.

sometimes with little notes, indirectly telling him the answer, evolving in afternoons of study with him. which led to you getting to know each other better.

It was around that time that Rin decided to ask about your parents. His curiosity was already reaching its limit.

and you decided to be honest with him, after all, who would understand better about mismatched parents if it weren't the SON OF SATAN?

and you told him that you were not a daughter of a demon. quite the opposite. but of an ANGEL.

Your mother had fallen in love with a celestial being but said being practically did not participate much in your life until you developed your powers, that was when the Vatican intervened and, similar to Rin, Mephisto intervened on your behalf.

Now, that made your intimidating aura make A LOT more sense to Rin!

for a moment at least.

Then he was very confused.

and he started asking you a lot of questions about your father and things like that because, well, he KNEW about demons and they even studied about them, but angels?? It is something completely NEW for him and he hardly knows that they also exist.

His questions aren't exactly invasive, but more on the side of innocent curiosity like "does that mean there's a heaven? (I guess I won't be able to go there because-you know) there's a GOD? Does your father work with him??" "Are the angels just as ugly as the ones they show in the Bible?(how did your mother like that then? ew)" etc.

It's even kind of cute to see, how Satan's son seems so intrigued by the "heavenly world" even if it is its total opposite.

Apart from the fact that not even YOU know the answer to more than half of those questions. but at the same time you finally have someone who doesn't seem bothered by this information...quite the opposite.

I firmly believe that Rin would be much closer to you now, because they are the only ones who fully understand each other's situation of having a questionable father but on different levels.

Rin also understands that you don't want to tell your classmates, whether for personal reasons or simply not wanting to tell them so as not to scare or intimidate them with the idea of angels.

Although even so, Rin will always remind you that he is on your side and that your companions will always ALWAYS see you as one of the group, regardless of your species.

Now, if that generates a conflict similar to the one it caused when he revealed himself as the son of Satan, he has your back and tries to get everyone to make peace, because 1- you didn't have to say it if you didn't want to and 2- it's something very staff who have hurt you before. They should be a little more empathetic.

If everyone learned from their experience with Rin and accepts you at first, he will be calmer and even proud of the progress they have made as a group.

everyone together tries to make theories about heaven and things like that 🤣

probably being the only daughter of an angel, similar to Rin, they put you in special training, but maybe instead of with Shura, with Yukio. so you both end up spending a lot more time together.

If you have wings, Rin DEMANDS to touch them! Of course, he won't do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but if you give him permission...oh boy he's rubbing his face in the feathers as if it were a pillow.

If you show your wings to the other classmates they will be quite shocked, but also intrigued (I can see Shiemi putting accessories on your feathers or brushing them 🥰 )

If we talk about advanced relationship terms, Rin is a physical contact guy, he really likes to hug you, give smooches, hold hands, anything is good for him as long as they are making physical contact.

Although in general spending time with you is good for him when he is stressed, it is like it recharges his battery.

If you like manga or something like that, HE'S YOUR BOY! I can definitely see him doing the unthinkable with you: lending you one of his Mangas.

He is also an expert at making you laugh, but he is a fan of doing it at the LEAST opportune moments, like for example, you are having a lesson with Yukio and out of nowhere you look to the side and turn to Rin with his chopsticks in his nose :/

He's also, canonically, very good at cooking, so depending on whether you're good at cooking or not, it could be another way for you to spend time together!

If you're like me and cook anything randomly, you and Rin can probably have a cute couple moment while making Bentos🥰

If you want to learn to cook, he teaches you! Go from being Gordon Ramsey in Master Chef to being Gordon Rasmey in Kids Chefs with you. super patient and loving.

(totally ruthless if it were anyone else. by anyone else I mean Yukio).

He is also quite protective of you.

For example, even if he saved your life and his, he knows better than to trust Mephisto too much, so if he sees him trying to pull one of those "inside jokes" I mentioned above, Rin gets defensive.

Also in general in exercises you tend to put your safety above the main objective😅 even if he know that they are not lethal exercises, it does not mean that you cannot get hurt easily(like the one of the Ep1).

Although it doesn't mean he doesn't trust your abilities! If you show that you have good skills in exorcising, he is the first to encourage you to improve. It makes him calmer knowing that you can defend yourself (or better yet, stop him if he gets out of control).

Rin is also sometimes afraid to be a little more open emotionally, after everything he has been through, he believes he handles everything well. But if you encouraged him to talk about what bothers him, I think he would honestly burst into tears.

You two understand each other on a very high spiritual level. If Satan wants to mess with YOUR boyfriend he will have to deal with you first. You can't stand the demon.

If your father comes out of the blue to "try to reconcile" or WORSE, wants to hurt you for being a half-blood, he will have to face the fury of the literal spawn of SATAN. Rin is not very nice to your father, very angelic and all, but having the father figure that he had, he definitely sees your father as unworthy of the title of Father.

(unless obviously you have a good relationship with your father currently despite everything. In that case Rin wishes things were that easy for him)

although I can definitely see him filling out nicely with your mother! He himself never met his and from what he learned more about her and Satan... he would really have liked to have someone like you had.

It may even become a habit to go to your mother's house from time to time, to get a taste of the life he wants in the future.

Overall, Rin completely accepts your angelic nature just like you completely accepted his demonic nature. He likes to think that you two are two sides of the same coin, for this reason, he supports you unconditionally and will be your accomplice no matter what.

He loves you very very much regardless of whether you are half angel, demon or just a normal human.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

#headcanons #fem reader #blue exorcist x reader #blue exorsict #blue exorcist #blue exocist rin #rin okumura #rin okumura x reader #ao no exorcist x reader #ao no exorcist

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m1ssunderstanding · 9 months ago

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.�� Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

#mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #the beatles #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

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v0idund3rth3v3il · 5 months ago

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https://www.reddit.com/r/progressive_islam/s/1401QvzC6v

These are not my words, please use the link if you want to see the author.

Explanation to verse 7:81 or the "Anti-gay" verse.

People often bring up verse 7:81 with out any context to show why the Quran forbids gay people and thinks that gay sex is haram, I'm here to give the full context and show why their wrong.

For those who don't know, verse 7:81 say's something like "Indeed, you approach men with desire, instead of women. Rather, you are a transgressing people." Which sounds bad alone until you actually take into full context what it means.

The verse is talking about the village of Lot who were actively RAPING men, not just having sex with them (a major problem in the world back then as both the Romans and Greeks were known to rape other males). As in their lust had become so overwhelming that women weren't enough anymore, they had to attack visitors (a big no no in Islamic culture) and rape them even though they where guys. The people of Lot where so depraved that they literally tried to rape angels before being wiped out so it's a warning against the depravity of rape instead of homosexuality in general as no where in the Quran, unlike the bible, does it say anything against gay sex.

The verse literally right before it say's something like (plenty of translations but roughly) "How do you commit such a horrible that NO ONE/THING BEFORE YOU HAVE COMMITTED". This can't mean homosexuality as we know homosexuality in animals does exist and homosexuality was very well known to just about every person on the planet as shocker, gay people have always existed. Historically speaking, the Code of Hammurabi , which ordered society in most of the Tigris-Euphrates Valley for more than a thousand years, has nothing to say about homosexuality. The laws of Eshunna and Egypt are also silent on the subject with us knowing that there were ancient Egyptian gay couples including a Pharaoh who was more then likely bi. The Hittites forbade father-son relations, but that was part of a general rule against incest. The Assyrians thought it shameful for a man to repeatedly offer himself to other men, and also prohibited men from raping males of the same social class, but all other male-male sexual relations were ignored. These are all states that were around centuries before Sodom and Gomorrah were apparently destroyed destroyed. The much more rational explanation would be they made an entire society based on rape of men and other "abominations" to a point where they would kick people out for wanting to stay "pure" (line 7:82), something that no group of people before them have done.

Now people will often say "if it's bad raping man then it's ok if we rape woman right?" well no. This is because when you take it with the previous verse and the verse after it, it's clear that these people wanted the pleasure of doing something that no other group of people had ever done which was the mass rape/normalization of rape of men. It's absolutely horrible but the rape of women was a lot more normalized back than and so wouldn't fit with the previous line of them doing something that no group of people/creatures had ever done before. That also explains why they didn't except Lot's daughter (which could be interpreted as him trying to save them because the angels didn't take to kindly to wanting to be raped) as they got their rocks off by doing what no other people had ever done which was to mass rape men, not women which again, is also disgusting but a lot more normal back then.

To go more into Islamic history courtesy of u/cold-blue, The grand mufti of the Abbasid caliphate in the mid-9th century, Yahya ibn Aktham, was a known homosexual, and viewed a few verses through the gender/sexuality lens.

One of them was the verse where Allah says He prepares males for some, females for others, and mixes the males and females. I’ve read that ibn Aktham once said that this verse confused people because it alludes to sexual preferences. He also said that the heavenly cupbearers mentioned in the Quran are sexual rewards like the houris. (Whether or not homosexuality is allowed in Jannah was debated, and some came to the conclusion that it is, and the only reason it isn’t in this life is because the rectum is dirty.)

The Ottoman empire, the last caliphate of the Muslim world, not only didn't care about gay people (unlike the Europeans) but actually had art depicting it.

Another is al-Razi. While he didn’t outright say that homosexuality is allowed, he allowed gay couples to be together sexually so long as they didn’t have anal sex. He was concerned with homosexual men committing suicide over their innate feelings and said that if there is risk of that, and the man cannot change himself from homosexual to heterosexual/survive in an opposite-sex marriage, he may be with his beloved (a man) so long as he does not transgress the limits (in his opinion, anal sex).

One of the transmitters of the Quranic variants we have today (of which Warsh and Hafs are two) was a man named al-Kisa’i, who was also a known homosexual. So one of the seven qira’ats came from a gay man.

There was another man ALSO named al-Kisa’i, who was a historian in 1100 CE, and he said in his Stories of the Prophets (Qiṣaṣ al-'Anbiyā') that the people of Lut were specifically MEN WITH WIVES who raped other men, not homosexual men, lining up with what we know historically.

And speaking even more so on the physical element, the male "gspot" is actual in the anus which even if you find gross, is a design of Allah and not a flaw. Why would he do that if homosexuality is a sin?

The reason homosexuality is so hated in the Islamic world is none other then the heretical Salafi and Wahhabi movements (actually considered heretics for most of the time they were around including their top scholars, not my opinion, and the only reason their not now is because of British) and because of Europeans as homosexual relationships were generally tolerated in pre-modern Islamic societies, and historical records suggest that these laws were invoked infrequently, mainly in cases of rape or other "exceptionally blatant infringement on public morals". Public attitudes toward homosexuality in the Muslim world underwent a marked negative change starting from the 19th century through the gradual spread of Islamic fundamentalist movements such as Salafism and Wahhabism, and the influence of the sexual notions and restrictive norms prevalent in Europe at the time: a number of Muslim-majority countries have retained criminal penalties for homosexual acts enacted under European colonial rule.

People often only bring up verse 7:81 and don't bring the verses directly previous or after it nor does it take into consideration the histography of their actions and the verse. It would be like me saying a book said "...kill all black people." but not elaborating and saying that the line previous to is says "These people were so horrible that they would regularly chant..." and the line after it is "I can't believe they would say/do something so disgusting." with the entire context of the book being that they would kick out anyone who didn't want to kill all black people. They only say's that the book said to kill all black people. It's very disingenuous to say the least.

To further prove my point, the word "sodomite" is often used to mean the rape of another person through the ass, not consensual sex between the two. If you google "sodomized" than you'll see rapists, not a loving consensual couple. Even the Arabic words for "sodomite" and a gay person is different as sodomite is literally translated into "lut" well a gay person is translated into "shakhs mithliu aljins".

To get more philosophical about it, sex is not some fetish which just develops in people, it is the most primal human desire that a person can have. So why would Allah make a group (there's homosexual animals as well) a certain way and then say not to follow the most basic desire they'll ever have right after wanting food and water but then say the rest of that group can follow that desire after they get married? People can control their desires until marriage as the Quran makes clear, they don't just never have sex. So why would it be any different for a gay couple? This is like saying that sex with it self is haram.

Finally, people often forget the fact that Allah is an all loving and all knowing being so why would he make certain people that he hates or want's other people to hate aka be "phobic" of when in the Quran it's made clear that we should be loving and affectionate? Now even if after all of this people still believe homosexuality is haram, Allah is said multiple time to be all loving, all understanding and all forgiving so as long they are good people and don't commit a truly horrible sin (shirk aka worship of other false gods, rape, murder, hurting others, you know, the classics) Allah will inevitably forgive them for giving into their most basic human desire especially if it's with a loving partner with in a marriage so why would anyone else have a problem with them?

I'm not gonna add a tl;dr because I worked waaay to hard on this for it be condensed into a few sentences and I really want people to read it and fully understand where it's coming from.

#queer muslim #islam #religion #muslim

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littlewriterfullofwords · 11 months ago

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Merry Christmas

Parring: Dr. Spencer Reid x gn!reader

Summary: You throw some Christmas party at your house where you show the BAU team your traditiona

Warnings: fluff

A/N: Hi! So, I'm currently in the 2nd season of CM, so there aren't more characters or anything, I'm new to the series, kinda, so please forgive. Second, the traditions in the ff are my country's traditions. Feel free to share yours in the comments!

"Merry Christmas!" Penelope opened her arms to hug you at the doorframe, big smile decorating her beautiful face. "Thank you for the invitation, sweetheart."

"I'm glad you came." You moved a bit to the side to let your coworker come in. "Make yourself at home, Pen."

"Sure will do." She winked at you and started to walk around your house, from time to time she was making nice comments about the decor.

The next person to come was Spencer. In a red sweater, Mr. "I know it all" greeted you with little, and cute, hand waving, his iconic move.

And after him, the others came in, in the order: Jason, Emily with JJ, Aaron and Derek.

"Your Christmas is a lot different than ours." Started Emily when you put another fish on the table.

"Yeah. Only 12 dishes? You have to try everything? That's insane." Murmured Derek with a glass of dried-fruit juice. "Where did you all get that from?"

"The Bible." Before you could answer, Spencer was faster. "You know, according to the Bible, there were 12 apostles so Catholic countries put 12 dishes on the Christmas table. They also leave an empty seat for an unannounced guest or, more spiritual, for those that had died."

"Yeah." You nodded with a smile. "That's right. Just the tradition, nothing more."

"Tradition is good." Whispered Gideon. "Tells a lot about the person."

"Once again, thank you for having us." Hotchner interrupted the info dump. "It might be a new experience for us, but that's life, right? We learning."

"Oh, stop. You making my angel blush!" Garcia petted your back in a soothing manner but with a smile on her face.

You were glad they came. Hey, they were family and Christmas is family time. You needed them now due to your family being all dead.

After dinner, came the present time! Everyone gathered in the living room and Derek, with a red Santa's hat, started to dispense the presents. Of course, he had to add something funny before giving it to the final owner, which has been making everyone laugh.

The atmosphere was amazing. It felt family-like and you didn't want it to go away any moment soon.

"It's party time!" Said Morgan, and with Emily by his side, they opened champagne and other alcoholic drinks they had brought.

Immediately , it reminded you of New Year Eve and the party your friends had always thrown. There was always lots of alcohol, music, dancing and many more.

"Let's go!" JJ grabbed your wrist and pulled into the dancing circle, you had no other choice but to join them, and you did.

Saying you weren't having the best time of your life would be a lie. You were so happy with those people, you were ready to call the your fucking family, and in your head you were. You loved each of them in your own way, and you hoped they noticed that. Well, they were profilers, they sure did.

The clock on the wall was showing 3:15am, with its quiet ticking interrupting the quiet carols. You turned off the tap in the kitchen and dried your hands. Everyone was asleep, either on the couch, armchairs or floor while you had been washing the dishes and cleaning after the party.

As quiet as possible, you came back to the living room with blankets and covered everyone with one, you didn't want them to catch a cold.

"Happy Christmas." You whispered with a shy smile before you started walking to the stairs.

"Happy Christmas, Y/N." The quiet voice of Reid's made you stop in the half way and smile again before you looked his way.

"I thought you were sleeping. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't, don't worry." He shook his head with his innocent smile you liked so much.

"Would you like to join me for a movie?" You hesitated some time before asking that, it was your little secret.

"Sure." Spencer lifted himself from the armchair and came up to you, then followed you upstairs.

You had this thing, you needed to watch your favourite movie after Christmas Eve to fall asleep. It was hard to explain why only this time of year but you didn't complain. You loved the movie, so it was a pleasure.

"If you don't mind, we will watch 'The Nightmare before Christmas'." You said when you finally reached your room and turned on the TV.

"Whatever you want. I'm fine with that." Spencer sat next to you, on the floor by the bed and placed his head on his knees. "Did you know that Tim Burton only produced the movie, not directed it?"

"I read it somewhere. But thank you for reminding me that." A little smile appeared on your lips before you clicked 'play' and the movie began.

Only a few minutes of the movie passed and in the corner of your eye you saw Spencer rock back and forth.

"You know you can say that, right?" You whispered with your head turned his way and a smile. "That's okay. Go on."

"Did you know that Danny Elfman only voices Jack's singing, not his spoken voice?" With your permission, Reid lets out his kept breath, what made you chuckle, and he started to talk. "He also voices two other characters, Barrel and the Clown."

"Really? That's so amazing." You whispered. "It's good to have you by my side."

"Oh, that's... nothing big." Spencer scratched the back of his head in a shy manner.

You moved on with the movie, with Reid giving you some fun facts about it. And even though you knew all that, you'd been a fan since day one, you've been listening carefully like if you didn't know them. You loved listening to Spencer, you loved his knowledge and how passionately he was sharing it. You loved... Spencer. You liked it or not, you were in love with him and his knowledge.

Unluckily, the movie ended, so did your time with Reid.

"Thank you for your company." You said and turned the TV off. "And thank you for coming...to the party. I had the best time."

"We should be thankful." Chuckled Spencer. "You taught us a lot. We now understand more."

"Don't tell me you don't profile each other on a daily basis?" You joked.

"We do....At least I do. Especially Hotch." Reid looked at the open door as if Aaron was about to come in. "He's the easiest to read."

"True." You both laughed but immediately hushed it because you remembered about sleepyheads downstairs. "Especially his mood."

Your coworker smiled and nodded his head as an agreement.

You both were going along very well, even too well sometimes, from Emily's point of view (good meaning). She really often has been telling you, that you and Spenc were acting like siblings.

"If you want, you can stay here." You offered when Reid started to get up from the ground, you didn't think what were you saying.

"I-...A-... I'll go downstairs. I have my stuff there." He looked hesitant and a bit embarrassed, especially his eyes were hesitant.

"Sure." You nodded and watched him leave the room. "Spenc."

Seconds after him leaving, you called after him and ran up to him.

"Yeah?" Asked Reid with confusion.

"Merry Christmas." Shy kiss was planted on Spencer's cheek before you turned around and disappeared behind the door to your room.

"Me-....merry Christmas." Whispered the man while touching the place your lips touched.

#ff writer #ff #spotify #criminal minds #criminal minds ff #criminalminds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader

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chicken-wayng · 3 months ago

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“I need Alicent to regret all her life decisions”

Same, Alicent needs a reality check asap. Daemon kills your grandson, Rhaenyra doesn’t punish him and instead welcomes him back with open arms. You think you, Helaena and Jaehaera are safe around these people?

I know I've said it before, but Alicent reminds me of the basic religious southern woman.

Southern Christian women are raised from birth believing that a man is their savior. That a husband and children are going to be their greatest achievement. A man will provide for them. A man will tell them what's okay to say and think. If a man says gay people are nasty, gay people are nasty - if you have those thoughts you're nasty and need to ask for forgiveness to block them out. If a man says a person's skin color makes them a thief, rapist or criminal then it's best to stay away from that colored person; regardless of the fact that the man has stolen more from you and actually has raped you. Which is another thing, rape doesn't exist between a husband and wife in the southern Christian mindset, and if you're not married according to the bible all you have to do is pay off her dad and marry her but to the SC mindset you can slut shame her and make her think its her fault, and why should he be forced to marry a slut?

I'm going on a soap box so I'll back down but I know these things because I was raised this way. I was raised to believe I was nasty for liking girls, I was raised to believe brown people ("especially Puerto Ricans like your nana and dad!") were bad. I was raised in so many sickening ways I'm still having to unlearn a lot of it. However I have resources that just aren't available in Westeros.

When I wanted to know why brown people were bad, all I had to do was get online and read about real life testimonies from the civil war all the way up to present day. What I learned is that we can't even say America has been segregation free for 50 years! 50 fucking years ago they were lynching not only adults but babies!!! I used to use "gator bait" talking about little children, cuz that's what you do in Arkansas, only to learn the term comes from slave days when they'd throw the slave's BABIES to gators!!! How disgusting

When I wanted to know why gay people were bad, all I had to do was get online and learn about the queer people from the 1600s to now. We've existed forever, so what I feel wasn't a phase, or a sin, or anything bad, it was normal. I was raised with the Holy Bible and the biggest lesson we learn is Jesus' love for us. "Love is used over 500 times in the Bible," is what my nana said. Why would he put it in there over 500 times to turn around and tell you to hate? Well I didn't get an answer to that from church or the bible, I got it from Queer Christians (that I was taught weren't a thing.) who told me love is love.

When I want to know why something I was taught doesn't feel right I can look into it. Alicent and Rhaenyra can't. That's part of the tragedy and why they'll never be able to apologize and stop hurting each other. In this way the patriarchy has deepened the divide between them. However their own choices have also done so. Alicent doesn't need to understand bastardphobia to use it to hurt Nyra and Nyra doesn't need to understand the patriarchy to understand why Alicent has to make the choices she has to use the patriarchy to hurt her. They both know they're hurting the other and that's all they care about. The "if I can't love you, if I can't have you think of my name endearingly then I'll have you hate me. I'll have my name ring in your ears until the void takes you." Is toxic but they can't stop. They regret it, but they won't stop. The love is there, but they won't stop.

I need Alicent and Nyra to regret their choices like I regret being a horrible person for the first 15 years of my life.

#thanks for the ask!#sorry for the spiel #i just hope i explained it well enough #chickenwayng #hotd #Rhaenicent #house of the dragon #rhaenicent

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lady0ctavia · 2 months ago

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As We Ponder Belief

(2p!Prussia x Reader) - Chapter 1

Note: This story is based vaguely during the mid 1200s in Eastern Europe where the Teutonic Knights fought the Northern Crusades to try and convert the native pagan population to Christianity. As a result, this story will have heavy religious themes all throughout. It should also be noted that, while referencing real-life events and locations, I am not striving for full historical accuracy. This is for the sake of the story I am telling.

Once again, this series will have heavy religious themes throughout, including discussions of bible stories, doctrine, and scripture verses, as well as critical analysis of Christian doctrine and beliefs. So, if you don't like that, you will want to skip out on this.

A light breeze passed through the sky, causing the trees above to rustle, their leaves singing the melodious tune of spring. The sky above was painted a clear, baby blue, with hardly a cloud to be seen. Something about the air in Eastern Europe felt different. While the maiden couldn't quite describe it, she loved it all the same. Down below, a young maiden held a bag of seeds, taking small handfuls and tossing them along the ground. The tune of nature was casually interrupted by chickens pecking at the dirt and idly wandering around the maiden's skirt.

Smiling contentedly, the maiden hummed to herself as she fulfilled her daily chores. After feeding the now-clucking chickens, the maiden returned inside and set her bag on the table, ready to repeat the same chore the next day. As well as the many others that occupied her time. She didn't mind it, though. After all, what was the point of being awake if you weren't doing anything? Idleness was for the weak. And she, (y/n) (l/n), was anything but.

She gazed around the room and saw her father at the table, reading the family bible, practically eyeball-deep in study. Her father, a self-proclaimed student of religion, could often be found spending his spare time studying the text, occasionally bringing his daughter in for conversation. Smiling, (y/n) walked up to him.

"Hello, Father," she wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tight. Her father laughed in response and rested his hand on her forearm.

"Why hello, my little girl. Tell me, did you finish all your chores already?" He smirked up at her after she let go.

"Indeed I did. Say, which book are you in now?" She asked, peering over his shoulder to gaze at the old, weathered pages.

"The book of Matthew," He said promptly, looking back at the book.

"What part?" (y/n) asked.

"The part where the Lord is cleansing the temple. Serves the merchants right, if you'd ask me!" He scoffed before turning back to his daughter. "Say, how about you take a seat. I would love to tell you about something I noticed within the text earlier today."

His daughter shook her head, smiling. "Sorry, but I can't. I promised my friend Adeline we would head out into the forest for berry-picking today."

"I see," he nodded. "Well, it is already quite late in the afternoon, and I would hate for you to miss it."

(y/n) leaned down and gave her father a kiss on the head. "Do not worry, father. I should be back in plenty of time for you to tell me about what you found. I look forward to it."

After saying their goodbyes, she grabbed her handwoven basket and left out the front door before walking down the dirt pathways of her little village. While she enjoyed spending time with her friends, she loved time with her father even more. After her mother passed a year prior, her father remained her companion through the seasons. As such, she inherited much from him, including his love of study and analyzing every last bit of text to the finest, most minute detail. Biblical stories and doctrine took on a whole new meaning when you took the time to analyze the context, though this wasn't always looked kindly upon. If anything, it was more accepted to go with whatever interpretation the church gave you. But that would never stop people like (y/n) and her father from thinking for themselves. There is, of course, truth in ancient texts, but it takes a discerning eye to unravel the complexities that lie beneath.

While lost in thought, she nearly missed the young woman standing by her front door, waving her down. Her long blonde hair bounced around as she waved frantically, calling out (y/n)'s name.

"Oh, hello Adeline," (y/n) stopped and smiled, allowing the blonde a moment to snatch up her own basket and bound toward her friend.

"Hello, (y/n). You seemed lost in thought there for a moment," She commented, playfully linking her free arm with (y/n)'s.

"A little," she admitted as the two walked along. "How has your day been?"

Adeline rolled her eyes and let out a deep, exasperated sigh. "Boring. Nothing more than cleaning laundry and mending. I am surprised that I even have time for this."

(y/n) chuckled. "Well, seeing as we do have time for this, let us make the most of it!"

"Agreed!" Adeline gave a small cheer in response, swinging her basket through the air.

The two young women had been friends for years. For (y/n), it was hard to imagine a life without Adeline's relentless joy and optimism. When times were hard, (y/n) knew she could rely on her upbeat personality and outlook on life to bolster her spirits. As the two walked along they soon made it to the outskirts of town before being greeted by two knights sitting on their horses, keeping guard. The Teutonic Knights.

The Teutonic Knights were monastic warrior monks clad in white with black crosses on their chests and cloaks. Knights were sent there by both the Pope and the current Holy Roman Emperor for the sake of spreading Christianity, as well as to expand the Germanic kingdoms, though that second reason was not as often talked about. The area in which (y/n) and her friends and family now lived used to be pagan territory before the knights came through years ago and pushed them back, claiming it for Christian families and settlers. Her own family settled in the area in hopes of starting a new life, as well as many other families looking for another place to call home. The knights in the area where she lived typically found themselves guarding the new locals rather than going out to conquer. That was left to the knights even further up north.

As (y/n) and Adeline approached the knights, one of them stopped the two maidens.

"Halt. Tell me, where are you going this fine afternoon?" He announced.

"Berry-picking," Adeline answered. "Would you care to join us?" She smiled cheekily, earning an eye-roll from (y/n), remembering that, while Adeline was an absolute sweetheart, she was also a relentless flirt.

"Funny, but no," the knight chuckled in response. Adeline and the knight proceeded to have a small back-and-forth, leading to (y/n) beginning to ignore them.

As she tuned out their idle chatter, her attention turned to the other knight beside him. A quiet, stoic man who, unlike his companion, wore his hood up and over his head, partially obscuring his face. However, the shade from the hood could not disguise the sharp, ice-blue eyes that seemed to glow in the shadows. He appeared bored with his job, staring listlessly at the surrounding trees just outside the village. After a few moments, the knight turned to look at (y/n), feeling her eyes on him. In any other instance, she would quickly look away. But she couldn't. Those eyes were mesmerizing as if piercing straight through her. Only after he furrowed his brows, giving her a confused look, did she have enough sense to look away, feeling her face going red.

After looking away, her friend Adeline said her goodbyes to the other knight and pulled (y/n) along into the forest. As they walked along, Adeline rambled on about the knight she was just speaking to.

"You know what? I am starting to think that knight likes me." She giggled.

"Adeline," (y/n) shook her head, "you would do best to avoid flirting with them. You do remember that the knights take a vow of celibacy when they join the Teutonic Order, right?"

"Well yes, of course I do!" She stated as the two maidens stooped down upon finding a bush full of berries ready for picking. "That won't stop my imagination, however." She gave a sly wink to (y/n), who could only respond with a cross between laughter and another eye-roll.

As the two girls went to pick, the air was filled with casual chatter and conversation. Speaking of all manner of things. Life, the weather, hobbies, chores, stories, and so on. It was only near the end when the sun began to set and the girls picked themselves up off the ground, now having full baskets, that the conversation took an interesting turn.

"Say, (y/n)," Adeline began as she linked her arm with her friend, beginning their short trek back home. "Have you thought about marriage yet?"

"Is that a proposal?" (y/n) joked, laughing when Adeline rolled her eyes in response, stifling a small giggle.

"You know what I mean, (y/n). I am asking if you have given any thought as to when you want to get married? Or to whom? We aren't getting any younger, you know."

(y/n) sighed. "I'm not sure, Adeline. I have mostly been focusing on taking care of things at home and making sure my father's taken care of. Ever since my mother passed, it's been on me to keep the household running, more or less."

Adeline nodded, taking in her response. "That's fair. Though I will say, I saw you looking at that knight earlier. Care to tell me what that was about?" She smiled, nudging (y/n) in the side.

"Adeline!"

"Kidding, I'm kidding! Calm down, (y/n)." Adeline attempted to laugh off her teasing, only for (y/n) to shrug.

"He just seemed interesting. He seemed far more quiet and withdrawn than the other knights we've seen," (y/n) admitted. Not to mention those eyes, she thought to herself.

As if right on cue, the maidens approached the knights standing at the edge of the village. The more talkative knight greeted the two with a small nod. Meanwhile, the other one, still with his hood up, watched the two maidens walk past with veiled interest. For a split second (y/n) glanced in his direction, only to quickly look away, earning a suggestive smirk from Adeline as she nudged her friend.

"Oh yes, very interesting," she whispered. (y/n) only laughed and shook her head. After reaching Adeline's home, (y/n) bid her friend farewell.

"We will do this tomorrow, yes?" (y/n) asked.

"Always," Adeline assured her.

After giving their farewells, (y/n) made her way back home, the sky now painted with vibrant reds and firey orange. After entering in through the front gate and door, she found her father asleep at the dining table, his head resting on the family bible. Smiling to herself, (y/n) walked forward and gently took the bible out from under his head, lest he potentially drool on it (again). After gently placing a small pillow under her father's head and giving him a kiss goodnight, she surveys the room around her after placing the bible to the side.

I suppose scripture study will have to wait for tomorrow. As for now, I might as well get to bed. Yawning, she went to her small room and dressed in her nightgown before slipping under the blankets.

She slept soundly, blissfully unaware of the vicious dangers that lay in wait once the sun went down.

Next Chapter

Next chapter is here! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, and please let me know what you think!

#aph #hetalia #aph x reader #hetalia reader insert #hetalia x reader #aph reader insert #hetalia axis powers #2p hetalia #2p prussia #2p!prussia #2p!prussia x reader #2p prussia x reader #gillen beilschmidt

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zukkaoru · 7 months ago

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ummmmm how about 3, 8, & 10 for fyonikonathan, montcott, and/or kunichuuzai (however you want to split the numbers and ships up lol)

also ily <333

fyonikonathan

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope

well. on one hand. fyodor. because [redacted]. you know how it is (<- said to everyone except corey). and they react by ignoring all of their feelings of course. on the other hand. nikolai. and he reacts like this and this

8. What they argue about

religion. nikolai being against it entirely ofc but i also just know fyodor and nathaniel are fighting about the nitpicky things like whether you should be dunked under the water forwards or backwards when you're baptized

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

nikolai doesn't hide anything he watches. he's out here handcuffing both fyodor and nathaniel to the couch so they can watch all of riverdale and he is having a GREAT time. fyodor says he doesn't watch tv but does in fact rather enjoy soap operas. he and nathaniel watched the bible miniseries together to see if it was accurate or not and they took a great many precautions to make sure nikolai wouldn't interrupt. nathaniel actually doesn't watch much tv unless nikolai is forcing him to watch something. the three of them watch a lot of trashy reality tv together bc nikolai loves the drama and the other two are handcuffed to the couch again

montcott

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope

i think. probably louisa outlives lucy. and she doesn't handle it well. she wants to lock herself in a room and use her ability because that's always what she's done to avoid facing her problems, except that will only make her life stretch on longer, so she stops using her ability at all. louisa's religious beliefs are very,, she doesn't exactly know what she believes but if she does believe in anything, it tells her she isn't going to see lucy again because lucy definitely didn't believe in the same things as louisa so she can live for another million years or she could die right now and it wouldn't make any difference. she hopes there's no afterlife so she doesn't have to deal with missing lucy anymore. she hates what she believes in, but that doesn't make her stop believing it. she's having a very bad time.

8. What they argue about

their big argument before they sort things out is about lucy betraying the guild + louisa just standing by and doing nothing while everyone treated lucy like crap after the ada figured out her ability. once they get past that and rekindle their friendship/relationship, smaller things they argue about are whether or not reading is fun (louisa thinks yes; lucy thinks no) whether sticking pins/needles through the top layer of your skin is a fine thing to do (lucy thinks yes; louisa thinks no), how many stuffed animals is too many (lucy thinks there is no such thing; louisa would like some room on the bed for herself please), and also their differing opinions on fashion (lucy likes fun flashy things and louisa prefers simple outfits)

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

lucy makes louisa watch reality shows that center around fashion/clothes with her (say yes to the dress, america's next top model). lucy also probably has watched keeping up with the kardashians but refuses to admit it. louisa prefers fictional tv shows, usually ones that take place in the real world but have magical elements (the librarians, witches of east end) but she's watched. a lot of different shows. bc growing up, she would use her ability to just read books/watch tv shows and movies to escape reality. she hides the fact that she's seen every episode of shows like riverdale and supernatural and sherlock bc they weren't that good but she enjoyed watching them anyway

kunichuuzai

3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope

kunikida . i think. dazai and chuuya are going to go together and they're going to leave kunikida behind and he's going to be angry at first because it's easier than being sad. he doesn't cope well. he keeps forgetting they're not coming back this time.

8. What they argue about

whether a diet consisting entirely of canned crab is sustainable (dazai says yes, kuni and chuuya say no), whether or not wine is good (dazai says no, kuni and chuuya say yes), whether or not chuuya's hat ugly (dazai says yes, chuuya says no, kuni refuses to get involved in that one), whether they should get a dog (chuuya says yes just a small one, dazai says no because he doesn't like dogs and they're too much work, kunikida says no because chuuya you are ALLERGIC TO THEM), and also there has to be one big argument about kunikida's ideal partner and is he actually going to stay with chuuya and dazai or is he just wasting time while he waits for the Right Person to come along and he can leave them behind

10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other

dazai makes the other two watch trashy reality tv and poorly-written dramas. chuuya pretends to hate it but ends up getting the most invested out of all of them. kunikida puts up with it because his partners enjoy it, and he likes seeing their reactions. dazai doesn't hide anything he watches. chuuya probably has one comfort cartoon they watch when they're having a bad day but will absolutely die before admitting as much. kunikida doesn't watch much tv in general, but he does sort of hide that he enjoys watching nature documentaries with kenji. it's not an on-purpose secret; he just never mentions it to dazai and chuuya

#hehe ty corey ilyyyy <3333 #fyonikonathan #montcott #kunichuuzai #bsd #corey tag #ask game

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heavensmockery · 12 days ago

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A good captain goes down with his ship

And that's what I planned to do. After all this torment it only fair for me to perish. I did everything wrong.

My friend died. He had tormented, almost separated from his family. Blamed. My friend suffered.

And at some point It was my fault. I let this happen. If only I had been quiet and endured the torture. If only I had been silent. If only I didn't admit to the hurt.

/..... /

Back then I wasn't doing well. I grieved my mother's death and couldn't get over it. I wasn't really religious at the time but I still went to church every Sunday because my mother would have wanted it that way. I felt somewhat closer to her.

But I still needed additional support. I went to a self help group. Not minding that it was run by the church. We weren't really talking about the Bible but rather it was a comfort space. The pastor was chill and has been through a lot himself.

Then things changed suddenly. Replaced by the man that would later be the reason for a lot.

He's been strange, claiming to enlighten us, to release us of our pain. The Sundays were strange. He was.. weird. Bit of a god complex. But the weirdest thing was that he had an eye on me.

I was special to him. Not like the others. He needed that potential. It would "help me" he said. The others told me he was weird but at some point I felt in too deep to back out now.

And at some point..

I felt....

/......... /

It was all my fault my friend died. I was only a pawn in his game. I was it all along. I had filth. I'm full of filth. I needed to perish for that. I needed to die. God. Please let me die.

He used me for everything. He said I was the most fascinating thing. But I was only a man. Just a sad broken man.

I had everything. But I ruined everything for others. And we knew it was right. And he told me everyday that if I stepped out their life would be ruined.

That I was irrelevant

/.... F.. Finn?../

The sessions were always strange from this day on, more and more he started to preach. And then we sat down, eye to eye.

"you have anything on your mind?"

He seemed absent. Almost. Uncaring

"Yes, my mother died. She was very ill"

Silence. At some point I felt.. judged. Sinking into the seat like someone who just messed up. He didn't reply. Looked away. Wearily.

He wanted to say something. Then spoke

"Keep your good heart. This is why I am here. I've been through a lot. Betrayal. Hurt. Crisis. But I refuse to become bitter"

That's all he had to say. Then also mentioned that I should stop caring so much sometimes. That death would also be forgotten.

The next Sunday he gave a speech.

/... Finn.. Oh god.. Hey, don't do this to me. You're not allowed to leave. No.. Please.. - /

"You are only remembered in death when it's artistic, a master piece. Martyrdom. Like so many times in the Bible. That's what you should all strive for and not cry for mercy all your life. Make it. Count."

I disagreed personally. But who am I to talk back. I became his muse. And ever since he founded Ephrata, everything went down hill.

/...... Finn.. You'll be fine.. You hear me.. Just stay with me.. Okay?.. . /

He envied me. My kindness. He tried to become my friend. But I could only feel resentment. Everything is blurry. So blurry

I was only a pawn. Never special. My prayers were never heard. But I endured. He promised me enlightenment. Rewarding from the higher ones. But it never came.

The suffering never ended. And with imaginary blood on my hands

I wanted to go down.

#massive tw #tw religious themes #tw implied suicide #tw implied abuse

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anonymooseforever007 · 2 years ago

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Reopening Old Books

(Finn Shelby about his Mother Mini Series)

Summary- In a room long since lived in, under a bed long since slept in, is a very old book about to reveal something no one ever expected....Especially not Finn Shelby.

A/N: Hi Y'all. OK so there are some 🟥🟨TRIGGER WARNINGS 🟨🟥 for this story including: Multiple Mentions of planned suicide (it goes for the whole series). It's not graphic, nor is the word suicide used, but this whole series is about Finn's relationship (or lack of) with his mother and how her death effected him and his family. So this entire story is pretty bittersweet, it's meant to be fluff sugar coating some angst!! Also again there are mentions of religious themes for the 1920's and using a Bible to hide things. There is also a bit of anxiety and self depreciation on Finn's part as well as mentions of spousal abuse and child neglect! That being said I'm very happy with how it finally turned out and I hope y'all have enjoyed the idea I came up with! So Enjoy the final part of the Pictures On The Wall series❤️

WC- 4.6k

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

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Finn Shelby was frustrated. He had been searching almost three hours now for those papers Polly wanted. They weren't for the company, and Polly didn't even say what they were. All she had done was told Finn to grab the papers sitting in the chest of the main bedroom of 6 Watery Lane. Finn didn't know what they were for but he knew they weren't in that drawer.

He'd turned it inside out twice now, and still the only thing inside was dust bunnies and old whiskey caps. He had half a mind to give up now and just go back, telling Polly there wasn't anything there. But with his luck, Polly would probably march right into the house and snatch the papers out of thin air. Then Finn would probably get a small scolding about not looking hard enough....And he really didn't want to get that today. So he decided to broaden the search beyond the chest.

He started with the closet, rummaging through the shelves, pulling out mostly empty boxes and coughing when he shook a dusty coat too hard. Then he went to the desk, pulling out every drawer and even looking underneath it to see if they'd been taped to the top. Still nothing. They weren't even under the loose floor boards that Finn knew Ada and John had hidden stuff in more than once. It didn't seem like the papers were anywhere to be found.

Just like the rest of house, it seemed everything had been left behind. All of his siblings and his Aunt had moved to newer houses, bigger houses where the pipes didn't leak and the floors were never freezing. They'd moved away from their past and seemed to want nothing to do with it. Sure, the furniture was still there and the pictures were still hung up, and the plates and cups still sat in their shelves. But the house was empty. Unless the family was in trouble or they needed to pop over from the new office, the rooms often stay unused and abandoned. The product of change and progression up in life. In fact, the only one who still stayed there regularly was Finn himself. Despite its cold and creaks, Finn actually liked the house he grew up in. It was familiar, and no matter who was fighting in his family, or who was pissed off at who, Finn knew he could always sleep at Watery Lane. Honestly, Finn still slept there most nights, in the slightly too small bed of the room he was raised in. He found comfort in the stability of it all. He liked being able to go somewhere he knew wouldn't leave.

A lot of things in Finn's life had a habit of leaving.... And most of them never seemed to come back.

Finn rubbed his hand over his eyes in annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose like Tommy did. He didn't understand why Polly couldn't just get the papers herself. She hadn't actually been doing anything when she sent him off. And to be honest Finn was suppose to meet Bonnie out by Charlie's yard an hour ago. The boys wanted to mess around and play with the new horse Tommy had bought last week. But evidently that would have to wait. Polly said not to come back until he'd found the papers. Now he was hungry and tired and they still hadn't shown up.

Turning around one more time, Finn paused to take in the room before him. It was the master bedroom, if it could even be called that. The only defining feature about it was that it was sat on the first floor in the back of the brick house. It wasn't that much bigger than the other rooms either. But it had been where Polly had slept after moving in and where his "parents" slept before that.

Truth be told, he'd never thought of it as he parents room, because Finn Shelby wasn't use to thinking about "his" parents. It was always "his sibling's" parents in his mind, and he didn't really see much reason to change that. After all, they were both gone before he could even hold up his head properly. He wouldn't have even known what his father looked like, had the man not shown up for less than a week when he was eleven. And even now, Finn couldn't remember much about the useless bastard other than the thin scars creating a permanent smile on his face. He didn't really care about that too much though. Seeing how bad his "father" treated them, it made him think they were better of without him. Besides, Isaiah'a dad had never been one to shy away from showing Finn the same love as his son whenever he showed up.

It was Finn's "mother" he thought about more often, but again, she was still someone he was almost scared to ask about. Often times if felt like she was never even real, just a fictional story no one was suppose to tell. Twenty years old now and he could still only be sure of three things about her: She was a good woman, She loved me, and She's dead. And even the first two things he found himself questioning from time to time. He's heard how their father treated her, but there was a small part of him that wondered why he wasn't enough to make her stay longer. After all, she's stayed strong for all his siblings, why didn't she stay for him? Atleast for a little bit longer. She didn't even make it to a year after he was born and so he never got to see his picture with her on the wall. He never got to see proof of the love in her eyes as she held him on her lap at one year old like she had with his siblings. She thought they were worth staying for... so why wasn't he? Why didn't anyone in his family seem to think he was worth staying around for?

Huffing, Finn squeezed his eyes tight and shook his head. He sniffed once and then opened his eyes again. He knew it was stupid if he wanted to cry over something like that. His brothers never did, and if they knew he might, they'd only think he was soft. At least that's what Finn thought. So the room was Polly's, and it always would be to Finn. Because growing up, she was always the one there when he snuck in during the night and she was the one who scolded his brothers for snooping around in her private stuff. And even if she had moved to her new house, Finn would always think of it as Polly's room. Because even when his parents left. She was the one who choose to stay.

....And she was the one who'd be disappointed if Finn couldn't find those papers. Fuck.

Finn cursed to himself as he turned around again. He'd gone over the whole room twice now, and still couldn't find what he needed. He'd probably have to call Pol and make sure the papers really were in the room. With a huff Finn plopped down on the old bed in frustration.

A thump hit the floor

Finn froze and looked around trying to see what he'd accidentally knocked over. But he couldn't see any new mess besides the one he'd already made. Then it hit him....The noise had come from under the bed.

Rolling off the bed and on to the carpet, Finn laid on his stomach to see underneath the dust ruffle. His search was again unfruitful as there was nothing under the bed but dirt and dust and..... a book?

It was too small and thick to be the papers Pol wanted. She'd said that it should only be a few sheets in a thin folder, but this looked as big like one of Ada's many novels. Maybe it was his Aunt's and she'd forgotten it when she moved years ago. That didn't explain why it was tucked between the bed boards though. Curious, Finn reached under the bed and pulled the mysterious book out.

It was a Bible.

An old one, that hadn't seen the light in years. given the layers of dust settled upon the sides. It was small and worn, but despite the dust Finn could tell it was well cared for. There were a lot of little bits of smaller papers sticking out from the sides, protected from ruin between the rest of the pages. Finn was sure now this wasn't Polly's. As a gift from him and Ada one year, they'd saved up enough to get Polly a new Bible, with her name embossed in small gold letters on the front. Finn knew she kept it by her bed or on her desk next to the pictures she had of her and her late husband. Besides, Finn believed she'd never shove a Bible between the slats under a bed where it could be damaged. So this couldn't be his Aunt's.

Finn also knew it could never be his father's. During the one meal Finn was ever sat at the same table as his father, the man had claimed to find religion, demanding to be the one to say grace. But even Finn knew his words were lies, printed out to help his image of a man who'd returned "for his family" as he claimed. Arthur Shelby Sr never believed in God a day in his life. If he had, then he would have had to admit he wasn't an almighty as he claimed. But no, Arthur Shelby Sr. always had to be the man out on top, even if he had no moral means of getting there. It was a small trait Finn saw in Tommy sometimes. The desire to control everything and be on top no matter who he hurt, but Finn would never tell him that. They all hated begin compared to the man who's caused so much pain with so little care. But Finn knew this wouldn't ever be his father's Bible, simply because the man believed himself to be a God most days. And what god would read about another. Besides he'd over heard things from his family before. Not that they realized he was listening from the top of the stairs the night after his father left again, but he heard them. They had been talking about her.

After Arthur had stormed off with Sr, Tommy when back to the pub, and John went home to his kids, Ada and Polly started talking. About Senior and how awful he was. How his return would only hurt the family more, and how he should have just died when he left. How the rest of his days were probably cursed for how he treated their mother. That was when Finn had come in. He wanted to get a drink of water before going back to sleep, but froze at the top of the stairs when he heard their conversation. He knew who his sister and aunt were talking about even if they didn't say her name. No one ever said her name. And he also knew that if he continued to go down, they'd stop and he'd loose the chancing to find out more about her. So wrapped in his thin blanket, eleven year old Finn Shelby sat at the top of the stairs, eagerly memorising the words he heard. After all, it was rare her name was ever mentioned, much less any information about what she did.

And so he heard his Aunt and sister recollecting about his dead mother. About how she was so sure their father wasn't religious, that she started keeping things in her Bible. It was the one place where her things were safe from his rage. Every secret delight, or even small amounts of money she didn't want her husband to ruin or take, was tucked safely between the pages. Little notes and scribbles or even important papers hidden away in the one book she knew her husband wouldn't care enough to open. She liked to keep it close, not necessarily because of what was already inside, but because of what she was able to save in it.

So Finn was sure this wasn't his Father's Bible.... And in the back of his mind, the hopeful part that was almost scared to dream, Finn knew who the Bible belonged to. They hadn't seen it since the day she died, and no matter how much his siblings searched for it, they were never able to find their mother's precious keep sake. Once Finn had heard Uncle Charlie reckon that she'd had it when she went into the water, and it had been washed away just as her life had. He'd been very drunk that night, and didn't even remember telling Finn that the next day. And Finn had believed him since it had been over a decade, and the book had never been found.

But here it was twenty years later, held cautiously in the hands of the son who hadn't been enough.

Not washed away by the river, but covered in dust and slightly creased on the cover from years of being slept over. The last time he'd been near it, the book was almost as big as him, and now he could spread out a hand and touch a finger on each edge. The world seemed to fade away as Finn's fingers began to lift the cover.

He wanted to see the small scribbles and notes in the pages and papers within, and be able to match to the writing he'd seen before. He wanted to see it was the same neat lettering hanging up on the wall on the back of four very old pictures. And each photo would show a one year old baby, in the same gown, on the same smiling mother’s lap holding her newest child close. And on the back of the photo was written the date and the name of the child, along with a note from their mother detailing something special she loved most about the baby. And each note would be concluded with the same phrase, “Mama loves you” and each picture would be hung on the wall.... But there were only four pictures because she hadn't lived long enough to take the fifth. In fact, there wasn’t a single photo shared between the mother and her youngest son. Because by the time it came for the photo to be taken, the smiling woman four other photos had already been long since taken herself. Finn Shelby wanted confirmation that this is what he thought it was. He wanted to match the words in this book to the one on his siblings pictures, because he'd never be able to match it to his own.

And so Finn did just that. Completely forgetting his original task, he gently thumbed his way through the thin pages. Not paying attention to the printed words within, but rather those hand written with care the Shelby family had long since seen. Finn Shelby sat on his mother's bed....he could almost call it that now. She didn't seem like such a lie anymore. He traced the words and memorized every shape they made. He was able to recognize every letter as one he'd seen on the backs of his siblings photos and knew this was it. He'd found the last bit of herself his mother left behind. Finn Shelby finally had what he always wanted. Proof his mother was real.

Finn could feel tears in his eyes again and this time he didn't care about stopping them. He didn't care what his brothers would think, and he knew they'd probably do the same if they were he was now. Holding the last little bit of herself their mother's existence that remained unmarred by their father's corruption.

When the tears made it hard to see, Finn finally wiped his eyes. Taking the book in one hand, he brushed away the tears with the other and that's when it happened.

Something fell out of the book.

Finn's heart dropped and his head began to race. Not even holding it for half an hour, and he'd already broken his mother's keepsake. He never should have opened it, he didn't mean to destroy any more of her.

Almost scrambling to try and reverse his mistake, Finn grabbed the pages, hoping he could piece them back in their proper place. But then to his great relief, Finn saw it was only an envelope..... Not just not envelope, but the ones the photographer put his pictures in once they developed. A safe sleeve for his customers to take their images home in. Usually thick pieces of paper were also placed between the photos to keep them from scratching each other too. He could feel his heart slow again at the realization that he hadn't broken her treasure. Now Finn was curious to what could be inside. He'd seen the small notes and drawings, but no one ever mentioned that his mother kept pictures in her Bible. Maybe his family didn't know either. Gently setting the book on his lap, Finn opened the envelope and pulled out the images inside.

There were four of them.... Only four.

Finn recognised these photos and knew why there were only four. Each one nearly mirrored a picture he'd seen before. They showed four different babies, all one year old. And each baby was wearing the same old christening gown, even if it had to be altered to fit with hidden pins or wouldn't button at all. Holding each child was the same smiling woman, gentle arms tight around her newest love. But still these photos were slightly different than the ones hanging on the wall upstairs. For starters, none of them had anything written in the back, not a date or word detailing what she loved most about the baby. And each of the individual photos were slightly different too.

In oldest picture, Baby Arthur could be seen draped sideways over his mother's arm, while her eyes opened wide as she went to save him. It appeared like as the photographer was counting down to when the photo would be taken, Baby Arthur saw it as when to throw himself off his mum's lap to see if she'd catch him. He had a grin on his face as he started his own game. And despite the panic in her eyes, one could see the laugh beginning to come out of his mother's mouth.

The next photo showed a child with a single bow on her head. Finn laughed, seeing that even then, Baby Ada made the same frustrated face she did now. Her small nose was wrinkled as she glared off camera, one small arm raised and mouth open as if telling someone off. Obviously she wasn't pleased with the face one of her brother's just made. It was probably John. Her mother could be seen with an amused smile, holding an arm around Baby Ada's chest, likely keeping the child from jumping off and toddling over to attack the offender.

Baby John was a sight to see as well. With hair so blond it appeared white in the photo, he was the one whose face had changed the least. Eyebrows raised and mouth open wide, Baby John was actually standing to the side of the chair his mother sat in while her head was thrown back in laughter. Half of his face was hidden, pressed tightly to his mother's showing baby bump. By the annoyed look on his face, one could easily guess he was yelling at his unborn sister to stop kicking him for at least the third time that day.

The last photo was more peaceful than the rest. It also made Finn laugh the most. Unlike his siblings, Baby Tommy didn't seem to be causing trouble at all. Evidently, Baby Tommy's photo was taken during nap time. He was standing on one leg, and he had one hand clasped tightly to his grinning mother's dress. With one arm propping him up against her chest, the Shelby mother proudly displayed her second child who was sound asleep.... sucking the toes of his other foot.

Finn was grinning wildly now. These photos were some of the greatest he'd ever seen, and not just because they showed his siblings in unflattering angles. In each of these photos it became more clear that his mother really did love his siblings. He could tell by the look in her eyes, even when they couldn't take a proper photo. The ones upstairs were nice looking, showing the perfect image of mother and child, but these showed her at her best. The loving mother of wild children who liked to run on their own schedules and couldn't be tamed. They were messy and chaotic and, what Finn like most...real. He liked the picture proof that she wasn't just the perfect image upstairs, rarely talked about, as if mentioning her would spoil her image. He'd only just seen them, but Finn knew the photos in this book would be some of his favourites forever. And maybe not today, but he knew one day he'd share them with his siblings. Even if they got mad because he brought her up, Finn knew they'd want to see these too. They'd want any chance they could to see themselves with her again.

Still smiling, he made a mental note to keep them safe. As he was tried to slide the four photos back into the envelope, he realized he couldn't. They were getting stuck on the extra card stock, keeping them from sliding smoothly in. Finn placed the four pictures aside, and went to pull out the thicker pieces of paper. He also decided it would probably be a good idea to layer the card stock with the photos like the photographer did. He pulled apart the first two pieces of card stock and again something fell out.

Finn found two more photos...

Two photos, that looked almost just like the others, but these he'd never seen before. At least he didn't remember seeing them. They showed the same smiling woman, holding her newest child, love evident in her eyes. She was sitting in the seat she always was, and the child was wearing the same worn christening dress as always. The first picture was very similar to the ones way upstairs. The curly haired child was being up held on his mother's knee as she gave the same bright smile she always did for the first photo. The baby's mouth could be seen forming a small "o" as he stared towards the camera. But it was the second picture really proving these weren't like the ones before.

For starters, the child was obviously not one year old. Such a small baby couldn't have been more than three months. The christening dress was far too big for him, and instead of truly wearing it like his siblings, the mother had wrapped him up in it, as if bundling him up for cuddles when it was cold. The mother was also holding the child differently than in other pictures. The baby was likely too small to sit up on his own, and this time his mother was instead cradling him in her arms as if rocking him to sleep. She was also looking at the baby. In all the other photos she was looking at the camera. Even in the ones just found, her glance was off screen at someone else, trying to see if they if they were laughing at the child with her. But not in this photo. Holding him close, the mother was smiling directly at him as she bent down to rub her nose against his. The child's mouth could be seen trying to mimic his mother's smile as his arms were reaching towards her face.

Finn Shelby never knew he had his mother's nose.

Running his finger lightly over the two photos, Finn flipped the first over. After all, it was usually the first one she wrote the message on. But the back of the photo was blank. Quickly, he flipped over the second photo, hoping there was more. There it was, the message written just for him.

On the back of the second photo was his name, a date and message written in the same hand as the other photos and the notes in the Bible.

The first thing Finn noticed was the date and despite the lightness that had settled in his chest he couldn't help but grimace. The message was written a week before Finn turned three months old....and two days before his mother was found in the water. She had been missing for a day before Uncle Charlie pulled her out. There was something awful bittersweet for Finn, realizing the last time his mother probably spoke to any of her children was when she was whispering her sweet message into his ear. There was something nauseating settling in Finn's stomach at the thought. His family had always believed her death was an almost spur of the moment ultimatum, caused by the breaking point of one last fight or one last assault from her husband while the kids were at school. But in truth, it wasn't a choice she made that night after her breaking point. And it hurt more than not having any pictures, realizing that she knew what was going to happen for atleast the week it took the photos to develop. She'd known since the day she planned to sneak away with her youngest to take photos almost nine months earlier than usual. If his mother thought she'd make it to his first birthday, she wouldn't have taken the photos. But she did take them, because she knew she wouldn't make it.

Finn took a deep breath trying not to cry again. He had a longer relationship with cocaine than he did with his own mother and it fucking hurt. He could barely remember a single thing about her but, he missed his mother so much. But he could say three things about her:

She was a good woman.

She loved me.

She's dead, but not because of me.

And for once, he actually believed them all.

Gulping and taking another deep breath, Finn finally moved his eyes from the date, and took a good look at the words whispered in his ear so long ago. Finn Shelby couldn't read what they said. One of Isaiah's friends has offered to teach him how, but they'd only just stared last week. But he'd be able to read them one day. Still, there was one phrase Finn recognized and there was something about knowing this time the words were written for him that made them more special. It was probably one of the only phrases Finn could confidently read that wasn't a name. And ever since he could remember there was always a part of him that wished he could read those words, not on his siblings picture but his own. And now he could. Finn Shelby had two pictures with his mother. Maybe he was enough after all....

Finn left 6 Watery Lane an hour later, a book shaped bulge in his coat pocket. He still hadn't found the papers for Polly, but that didn't matter anymore. It was getting dark and he still wanted to see the new horse with Bonnie. His aunt could scold him later, but right now he really didn't care. He locked the door and headed out.

Away from the streets he played on as a child, and away from the house he'd grown up in. In the house was the kitchen he'd learned to crawl in and the couch he'd lost a tooth on. There were the stairs that only he could get up soundlessly, and the sink that always leaked. In the house was the room he'd spent so long hiding in, anxious by his doubts and burdened by his past. It was the house where pictures covered the upstairs hall....

Five of which were almost identical.

"Mama Loves You Finny"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#Finn Shelby Imagine #Finn Shelby Headcannon #peaky blinder headcanon #peaky blinders imagine #finn shelby #shelby mother #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #John shelby #arthur shelby #ada shelby

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wlwfav · 1 year ago

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I'd love to hear about your AU!! It sounds really interesting:)

omg ok ok i hope you are ready for unhinged and messy rambling..... anyways more about angels of death role reversal au below

first off i want to say this au is 100% inspired by this amazing art, like when i tell you seeing that work FLIPPED something in my brain. go show that artist some love!!!

so basically in this au all of the floor masters have essentially "swapped" roles, but they are still their canon ages because that is just. infinitely funnier to me

anyways the swapped roles are as follows:

ray and zack

danny and cathy

gray and eddie

and now here's the rough background and whatnot for each character:

zack

following the role of ray in this au, zack wishes to die and wants ray to kill him. his personality is much more apathetic and a bit of a 'blank slate', similar to canon!ray. unlike canon!ray, however, zack is still not smart sdfgsdfgsgfs. he never learned how to read in this au. he very much still relies on his strength and survival instincts to get by, he is just much more... chill about it.

he was set on fire by his father when he was young, but he never developed a fear of fire like his canon counterpart. instead, he has a more apathetic view on it. he does not wear bandages in this au. he does, however, wear the same hoodie, but the arrow resembles a cross (like shown in the art i linked above). he also has a cross necklace that was given to him by his therapist, cathy (we will get to that later...)

zack was never sent to the orphanage after being burned, but instead he remained at home with his biological parents, and of course it was not a good home life :/ his parents saw he was strong enough to survive being burnt alive and basically said "hey, this kid's resilience might be useful to us" and so they kept him around so he could do the chores/housework and other odd jobs to get money, usually so his parents could buy drugs and/or booze. he never went to school or got any education. zack had to do what he could to feed himself and get by. due to doing just about any sort of physical labor to get payment, he developed strength and street smarts.

his parents viewed him as "a monster" due to his appearance, and constantly reminded him they only kept him around because he was useful. in zack's mind, he thought maybe his parents would love them if they were monsters too.

when zack got the chance, he would try watching movies, and that became one of his favorite past times. he particularly liked thriller/slasher films.

zack continued to live with his parents until he was around 19. he never thought to leave because he didn't know anything else, and there was a part of him that did care for his parents (similar to canon!ray's feelings towards her own parents). one day, zack's mom was caught with another man, causing his dad to flip out and stab both of them to death. zack, being home, heard and saw everything. his dad tries to kill him too, but zack remembered one film he saw with this similar scenario, and ends up successfully - and fatally - stabbing his father. as a means to "fix" things, zack sets their bodies on fire, thinking this made his family "more equal" now that they've all been severely burned (or, in other words, he is making everyone look like the monsters they truly are)

when the police came to take zack away, they weren't arresting him on murder charges, but instead they (correctly) saw he was a victim acting out of self defense, so they send him off to therapy where he meets....... cathy.

and that's where the main story unfolds in a similar way to canon. cathy ends up becoming obsessed with zack, and begs eddie to let him have his own floor - B1. cathy gifts him a cross necklace, hoping it would help zack "fit in" as a floor master, but eddie places a bible on zack's floor and well.... we all know how it goes from there :')

small side note: zack never actually went by 'zack' before meeting ray, he was only ever referred to as isaac, and even called himself by that name. ray gives him the nickname 'zack'!!!

ray

ray is an infamous serial killer in this au, and is dubbed by the media as "the patchwork killer", due to her sewing up her victims after she murders them, as well as the patchwork all across her own body (again, like in the art i linked earlier)

like canon!zack, she is more deranged and outspoken, but she is still just as smart as her canon counterpart. despite (obviously) not attending school, she still loves to read and tries to self-educate herself in between killings. she really is just some weird 13 y/o girl doing her own thing in this au lmfao

despite her intelligence, she is still small and physically weak, making it difficult for her to kill people unless she has her handgun. she still keeps a knife in her bag as a back-up. even though she is small and rather weak, she is nothing to scoff at. she has killed many, many people, and sewn up their corpses afterwards to make them "perfect" in her eyes.

ray ends up teaming up with zack to take advantage of his strength and height, knowing it will help her escape the building.

ray grew up with her parents who owned an illegal orphanage, and her parents treated the kids pretty badly. they would often force ray to stitch up the wounds of the orphans.

ray got her appearance due to the abuse she endured from her parents, and her mother would forcibly sew her up after. ray ends up keeping the patchwork look on both herself and her victims as a means to "reclaim" what happened to her.

similar to canon!zack's fear of fire, ray has a fear of water. her father tried to drown her when she was younger, but her mother managed to save her. not out of love, but because she saw ray as someone she could use. ray has been terrified of the water ever since.

one day, ray is trying to stitch an orphan's wounds, but the kid ends up dying. ray, out of curiosity, decides to continue sewing the kid back together, in order to make them "perfect". when she's done and she looks at her work, a switch sort of just. flips in her brain. and she realizes she wants to kill more people and "fix" them in her own way. and so, she snaps and kills her parents, along with the other orphans, and "fixes" them to her liking.

after that, the story picks up and she lives her life on the run. i'm not sure if i would want to include ray's own "blind old man" in this au yet, nor how that would work, but yeah.

cathy

cathy's story is pretty similar to her canon counterpart's, but instead of becoming a jailer, she became a therapist.

she's a counselor of sorts for "troubled adults", and she uses her job to find the most "sinful criminals" (in her eyes), and study/punish them in her own way. her goal is to find the most "ideal criminal", and punish them for all of eternity. she wants to "fix them" by making them worse.

and, of course, when she meets zack... she believes he's exactly what she's been looking for. she wants to keep him by her side forever so she can understand him, and encourage his "sinful" behavior

danny

like cathy, au!danny is similar to his canon counterpart, but he's just a jailer now. he keeps people locked up so he can admire their dead, hopeless eyes until the end of time.

ray is someone he becomes obsessed with, because despite everything that happened to her, her eyes still sparkle with manic life. and he wants to be the one to snuff that light out.

gray

like canon!gray, au!gray also grew up in a cult, but instead of being the like. next chosen pastor or whatever, he instead was in charge of the graveyard. he views himself as a grim reaper of sorts; being in charge of guiding people to the next life by making their graves. he believes he is the only one capable of putting people to rest in the way god intended.

in the building, he becomes the grave keeper for all the sacrifices that pass through.

he takes an interest in zack, as he is the only floor master who really feels pity for him. he sees zack has suffered, and wants to give him the most "peaceful rest" as possible as a means to alleviate zack's pain.

eddie

yeah this 12 year old runs this whole murder building. and what about it!

anyways instead of being born into a grave-keeping family, eddie was born into a family of. pastors i guess gfdsgdfgsdfg he basically grew up only knowing church and. that's it

eddie's personality is an odd mixture of both canon!gray and canon!eddie's personalities. au!eddie is still childish and often lets his feelings get the better of him, yet he still gives off a more mature and regal aura.

like canon!gray, eddie became interested in testing if people were angels or sacrifices. if they were truly devoted to god.

eddie believes only he truly understands god, and therefore, only eddie can truly judge one's sins in place of god. he decides to start his little "experiment" when it's revealed albert will take over the family church instead of eddie, and eddie believed albert was the furthest from god one could get.

basically, he is trying to weed out "false gods" and those who follow said false gods

like his canon counterpart, eddie has a bit of a crush on ray. he views her as the perfect angel. he also views zack as the perfect sacrifice.

and yeah i guess that's about it! this is a really rough outline and there are definitely some parts to this au that could use some fine-tuning but overall, this is an au i'm really attached to sfdgsfdgsdfgsdfg

#long post /#shout out to that artist who made that role swap art #bc of you i created this whole thing #ur impact.... ur power.....#aod-enthusiast #✉️

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achilleslefttoe · 11 months ago

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The Gods.

hihihihihihi, so basically this is mostly for @star-realities but im making it public cause yes. hope this is helpful so basically, im writing a book series, and my big idea was to make design gods for the world inspired by me and the friends i created the world for. there've been multiple versions of this series but the very first was based on me and 3 of my friends. I found it fitting to make us the gods of the world because if it weren't for us, the book nor the world it takes place in would exist.

so these are us, i made the photos on picrew (@/hunbloom). but anyways here's the actual lore. basically Achaii woke up one day bored as hell and said "damn, this thing we live in is bland as hell. imma spice it up" and grabbed their paintbrush and made the sky. Legends say they still paint the sky every night and morning.

Evanitis saw this and joined in making greenery. The two enjoyed their freedom and the other two watched. Zacharaea and Maion never really liked each other but they both loved Ace and Evan. Then Zach wanted to join in, so he and Evan made fire by accident. Zach, overwhelmed by pride cried, and Ace stepped in to make the oceans and rivers to store the tears of Zach and later on the others. The tear thing is important later. Mae blew the fire out to keep it from spreading, they all knew the power that their creations had.

After Mae had blown out the fire, the earth parted. Evan fixed it to be somewhat uniform afterward. (goodbye Pangea) They called their island Te Etearia Isle, later changed to The Ethereal Isles. Located off the southern coast of France.

After this, Evan created an herb he was fond of and decided to burn it, after he burnt it, he began creating whatever the fuck he wanted (yes, i'm implying he made weed)

One night the deities came together to create the first humans. They loved each other in VARIOUS different ways but it got lonely when it was just the 4 of them. Mae worked out the fine tuning of humans. Two arms, two legs, two lungs, a head, brain, and heart. Of course and so on. Each one of their first humans had their own special features but i haven't worked them all out yet.

Anyways, back to the tears thing. In my story, on their side (there's their realm and our side aka the boring non magic side) there are four bodies of water that are considered Tears of a God, which is written in Latin but I don't have a perfect translation for it yet. These bodies of water have special properties that vary depending on which god cried into them. They're all salt water cause yk, they're tears.

I have one for everyone but Evan, the only thing I know about his is that it's like The Yellow River in China, it's rough and prone to flooding for a very specific reason. But that reason is written in my history notebook that i left in my locker at school.

Ace's (well mine) is called Mourner's Peak, where there's multiple little ponds (or maybe geysers idk yet) each one evokes a different emotion. Mostly negative, but some positive.

Zach's is the original pond Ace had made for him to cry into when they made fire for the first time. That is the main portal, his tears make it possible to travel from each realm easily.

Mae's in a deep deep saltwater pond, under it is the cave where she locked away the other three gods. They're stuck under there for thousands of years.

also, the star over bethlehem where people say jesus was born is where the big fight between Mae and the others happened. The star was Ace fighting cause yk they're the deity of the cosmos and celestial magic. Also toying with the idea I wrote the bible as a joke and someone found it after we locked away and then continued it lmao.

anyways, that's it for now. if anyone has questions or wants me to go into more detail on anything, I will gladly do so. Also if you wanna hear more about my series in general, i will gladly ramble about it

#aced it #using aced it for stuff about my original work or things i've written #books #writing #writeblr #original series

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miragestar · 2 years ago

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Founders of WeevilClan!

(copy + pasted descriptions of each cat)

Since Clangen got a new update, I started a new clan. I wanted to draw all the founders because these guys are all sooo pretty and I love them

The StarClan guide is Hareheart, who I briefly exiled to the DF for fun. That's all I really have to say about him. I like to think that him and Basildapple are related somehow.

WeevilClan's leader is Crowstar, formerly called Crowtooth. He's very confident, a good fighter, and has a huge ego. He frequently brags about his abilities and leaves his clanmates exasperated a lot. He very frequently butts heads with both his deputy and medicine cat.

Basildapple is the deputy, and although he and Crowstar share similar traits they could not be more different! Basildapple is confident in the quiet, calculating sort of way. He can be intense at times but unlike Crowstar there's still warmth underneath, and he cares a lot for all his clanmates. He is also a lot more reasonable than Crowstar, and his antics make Basildapple nervous a lot.

Siltpurr is the medicine cat and well... cold certainly describes her. She frequently grumbles the warriors for their "low pain tolerance" (She's also listed as being a good fighter so I headcanon she used to be part of a violent colony) and overall she isn't like, super pleasant to be around. Though, there is a secret heart of gold, and the willingness to help others, underneath that frosty exterior.

The eldest warrior is Whirlfur, and he's a big stick in the mud. He can often be found lecturing the apprentices and young warriors about the importance of the warrior code. That being said, he is deeply loyal to his clanmates and would risk his life for any of them.

Freezerump's name is great. She's literally the expression "freezing your ass off". Anyways, Freezerump is a disheveled, bloodthirsty cat. She loves nothing more than antagonizing the other clans and sparring with her own clanmates. She frequently wishes she was deputy, and knowing Crowstar he probably would pick her if anything happened to Basildapple.

Rosytwist is your crunchy, granola, "spirtual" aunt who swears that essential oils cure sickness and probably posts misguided bible verses on Facebook. She's undeniably sweet, but also downright strange. She has a strong connection to StarClan as well, which only fuels her strangeness. She has taken great interest in spending time with Buttercuppaw recently, worried that she's going down the wrong path.

Crookedpatch the friendly cat in the clan that everyone is friends with! He likes telling stories and would probably be the perfect elder if he weren't only 70 moons old, lol. Between you and me, he would be my choice for the next deputy.

Comfreyfur is a silly, childish prankster who loves nothing more than joking around with her clanmates--especially if that clanmate is Pinetree, who she has a crush on. She's not the most reliable warrior however, and this frequently gets on other cats' nerves.

Pinetree on the other hand, is a hardy, loyal, and bold cat who frequently brags about how she isn't afraid of anything. She's a bit like Crowstar in that regard (I actually kind of imagine they're related too, since they have the same eye color) but unlike Crowstar, Pinetree is much kinder and frankly more popular than she is.

Finally, Buttercuppaw is currently the only apprentice. Apprenticed to Pinetree, she is a bit, well... bitter. Nobody's really sure if it's permanent or just a phase, but both Rosytwist and Siltpurr try to spend time with her and make sure she doesn't do something bad.

And that's WeevilClan! They're a fun bunch, can't wait to see how they develop in the future.

#clangen #weevilclan #warrior cats #warrior cats clangen

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bluecoolr · 2 years ago

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Best part about dms is I get to make you write Nathan as a character, ooo~

Anyway I'm formally requesting an info dump on Nathan please n thankies because I need him for... ya know. Sin.

Don't wanna be ooc for my silly goofy ideas

For you, Plant? Of course.

(Hope you feel better soon catboy 😚 am platonically smooching you)

Nathan Aaron Todd

Info Dump

Fair warning, there's hardly any structure to this. I literally dumped it all.

From Nathan meaning "God has given"/"gift of God" and Aaron meaning "mountain of strength". In the Bible, Aaron was the brother of Moses and helped make a false god for the people to worship. 👀

Two years younger than Darrell, born on the coldest day of January in the Todd farmhouse

He's very close with Susannah and Darrell. Although, he doesn't like how pushy Sussy (she hates that name) gets.

He and Darrell are inseparable and are each other's best friends.

Growing up, they shared a room. At first, they shared a bed. Most nights they lost sleep over talking about the most mundane things. They would pretend to be asleep when their mother or father came to check on them.

In a house like theirs, you learned to memorize footsteps.

When they got too big to share (Nathan tended to hog the bed and their parents didn't approve of spooning), they were given separate beds. When Darrell went through puberty, he was moved to his own room and his bed was given to Judah.

Nathan hated being separated and hated being saddled with Judah. Judah was too nosy, too loud, and demanding. He sucked up too much to their parents.

He loves the outdoors. Tends to go around barefoot. Has a green thumb.

Granted, he's always a tad bit dirty.

Pastor Todd and his wife had a tendency to spot a child's talent and build their future around it: Nathan's was farmwork.

He was taught how to farm, to raise crops, to tend livestock, hunt, track, trap, and - most importantly - butcher.

Has no qualms about ending a life. Butchering gives him a rush, a high.

He's not squeamish at all about blood. In fact, he likes to have it on his hands; likes to know he's taken the life force of something.

Pretty decent singer. He, Darrell, and Susannah sang together for church. He sings softly while he works.

Would have loved to draw, but found he's better with woodwork. He made silly little toys for himself and other kids. His favorite was a little wooden rifle.

He's the most cheerful out of the Todd children. He's quick with a joke and is very affectionate.

Basically if you put pre-war Tristan from Legends of the Fall, Hareton Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights, and Thomas Hewitt from Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning in a blender, you'd get Nathan.

Charming, overworked, loyal to his family, and ruthless

You know that quote "Suffering can be religious if you do it right."? That's his schtick.

Speaking of kids, he loves them. The town kids see him as the cool older brother they always wanted.

He and Darrell look extremely alike. You'd mistake them for twins if it weren't for the difference in hair and eye color; Nathan's eyes are a cold blue (sometimes described like a shark's) (I suppose they mean that in the emotionless predatory haze sort of way but they could also be saying Nathan looks like he's dumb as bricks.)

I mean if that ain't Nathan after a night of drinking idk what that is.

Would have followed Darrell to the ends of the earth.

Never felt like he was second to him or overshadowed - well until Nex came around.

Man's strong as an ox. His physique betrays him.

Notorious fornicator

Women love him, cattle fear him, the men want him dead.

Darrell never punishes him however. Like I said you can't get away with anything in Zak unless you're Nathan.

Like Darrell he will fuck when the opportunity arises.

Might have caught feelings for a certain someone ehem ehem

I want to make more content of him, he's just ridiculously interesting.

I can't think of anything else rn but that's what I got for this country fool. Give me follow up questions and I'd gladly oblige 😌😌

#nathan todd #alt timeline #todd siblings #slasher oc #darrell todd #probably-a-plant-thing #ask darrell

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gaykarstaagforever · 24 days ago

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Fans of my Tumblr will remember when I did this post about Stawberry Hill House, a quaint gothic folly of an 18th century mansion, built by some Georgian turbo-nerd.

I didn't in that post do any discussion about what "gothic" actually means, because it is complicated and confusing and is applied to different things differently, depending on who is doing it. Suffice it to say now, it was an artistic trend of the second half of the 18th century, based on the First Industrial Revolution and the so-called The Age of Reason, where people counterintuitively got real into liking ancient ruins and dark medieval stuff and spooky things.

Before then, things were good or bad because the church or king said so; after we figured out the steam engine and medicine, we realized that demons weren't in fact responsible for 80% of everything, so being scared of them in principle was kind of a waste. Being scared of or liking ANYTHING in principle was goofy. Instead of everything being objectively a way, things are now subjectively a way, and how we feel and react to them gives them their REAL value.

Yeah it just goes on like this. Entire books of this shit. Secularism and capitalism (as a philosophy) come out of this. It ties in to why America's Founding Fathers suddenly felt like they could say "fuck the king for being jerk," while Thomas Jefferson sat there crossing out all the stuff about miracles in the Bible and giggling.

But it ALSO meant that if you wanted to be into ghosts or the histories of banned religions, or do drugs and think your drug-dreams mattered, go for it, landed gentry! Weird things are fun and exciting, instead of risking your immortal soul! What if there are beasts? What if WE are the beasts?!

Yes, this is where the idea of modern horror has its earliest pop-cultural roots. In 1764, Horace Walpole - the guy who built Strawberry Hill - wrote The Castle of Otranto, which he styled "a Gothic Novel." It was partially based on a scary dream he had while at Strawberry Hill, involving random giant pieces of medieval armor being in his bedroom. ...Which is one of those things that doesn't sound scary, but you damn well know it totally would be if you had a nightmare about it while sleeping in your whimsical fairy house.

The Castle of Otranto was an immediate hit. With the first edition, Walpole published it under a pseudonym and claimed it was an English translation of a Renaissance Italian work. In subsequent editions he dropped the pretense and admitted he just wrote it, which didn't hurt sales but pissed off all the literary critics who had been tricked. ...Which is funny, so good on him. But they immediately changed their reviews of it to "awesome" to "this totally sucks and is stupid."

Which either means they were unprofessionally pissy, or they had been generous initially, and now knowing it wasn't a translation, were eager to admit that, other than the fun crazy stuff, it isn't very good.

Yes, even for 1764. Walpole is intentionally going for an arch, dated, Shakespearean style, to fit his made up date (the 16th century) for the original Italian. And, man - it sounds like what happens when someone does that.

Shakespeare was writing in iambic pentameter. It was performance poetry, so it sounded like that to fit the rhythm and be compelling on stage. Minus those two demands, everyone who apes the style just uses big weird words for everything, and everyone talks too much about nothing in an attempt to have speeches or be funny, and the goddamn thees and thous...!

The Castle of Otranto gets worse as it goes along. I'm a third of the way through this 4 hour audiobook version, and every single scene is someone important and the help taking 10 minutes to discuss a thing we all just saw happen. It's like if the guy writing the King James Bible was getting paid by the word.

Modern critics and book fans almost universally agree it is "virtually unreadable." I wouldn't go that far. It is generally coherent and does characters well. But there is no hint of any kind of pacing, and the plot is one inexplicable thing happening to obviously disturbed people after another, with extended breaks for them to Hamlet Whine about it.

The story literally starts with a giant Renaissance armor helmet falling from the sky and exploding a man on his wedding day. Which sounds fun and fascinating. But neither the author or the story are seemingly interested in that as anything other than an ominous trope that triggers a bad, confusing soap opera.

At least so far. There are six chapters and I'm only into the second one, and it is a rough listen. More weird things happen, but so far it could just be one family and their comedy servants going mad, and all of the dozen characters are starting to run together, and people seem to keep teleporting around, and about half of the action takes place between scenes, and someone has to explain what happened to someone else.

I guess as a gothic novel plot, "spooky weird soap opera about crazy people in a gross house" is par for the course. But this first attempt at that has a few flaws.

Check it out (pretty sure a real person is reading this, due to audio issues and funny pronounciation / accent choices. It's fine). Free pdfs are easily available too, though I hear the formatting is especially weird and makes it harder to read. I haven't looked.

Trigger warnings: gore, attempted SA, the kind of confusing misogyny only the 18th century could produce.

And that's just the first hour!

youtube

Also ESOTERICA did a video about the book and the Gothic aesthetic in general a month ago, which is what inspired me to try the book. He goes into detail about the philosophical side of gothicism, if you are interested in trying to keep up with that.

youtube

#gothic #spooky #halloween #the castle of otranto #georgian #english history #Youtube

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